#me and my bf went clubbing last night and he had to go to the bathroom. well this dude came up to me and started flirting with me.

[yumekoii]

i don't feel so good rn :(

[foxmulderautism]

trying to psychoanalyse my multiple dreams about being in berlin last night

[atinyfeels]

ateez: he compares you to his ex [2]

『 pairing: bf!ateez x fem reader ╺ requested? yes ╺ genre: mostly angst, slight fluff 』

warnings: slight cursing, depression

word cout: 6.1k

notes: I ended up writing this while at work and I got carried away -C ╺ May 3rd: Yeosang’s has been completely rewritten - C

masterlist | part one

Seonghwa:

"y/n!" you heard someone call from behind you.

You didn't have to guess who it was, his voice was engraved in your mind. But that didn't mean you were planning on stopping for him. Pushing the door opened, you made your way outside and headed towards the parking lot. You were barely half way to your car when you felt someone grab your arm and turn you around.

Seonghwa stared at you, his face showing concern when he noticed your red puffy eyes. "I am so, so sorry."

You scoff and look away from him, "It's not exactly your fault. I pushed you to go out with me. I pressured you when you were vulnerable. I thought that I could be better for you, that you would be able to move on with me. But I guess I was just getting my hopes up."

Seonghwa was shaking his head at every word you said. He cupped your face with his hands and gently made you look up at him. "I have no excuse for what I said to you. But don't put yourself down for what I said to you. It was not okay for me to say those things to you, it was rude and obnoxious." You swallowed hard, and blinked away the tears that kept building up. "I have no more feelings for h/e/n, I promise you. The two of us are just friends. But you and I, we are much more than anything my ex and I had. Accepting your confession was the best thing that ever happened to me. I will do anything to make it up to you, I promise you."

You licked your lips and stayed silent for a moment, processing his words. "I just...I just need some time, Hwa. There are some things I need to think about. Is that okay?"

He nods quickly, "whatever you wish, take as much time as you need. I'll be right here whenever you're ready."

You leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Once you pulled away, you gave him a small smile before turning around and leaving him in the parking lot.

It had been one week since you last spoke to Seonghwa. He kept his promise and gave you as much space as you needed. His missing presence made your home feel so lonely. The thoughts of endless movie nights on the couch and staying in bed together with your bodies entwined. The first night you stayed on the loveseat, not wanting to be in the large empty bed.

You spent most of your time by the window, either watching the spring rain fall or reading a book. It didn't matter what you did, Seonghwa was the only thing filling your mind. You weren't okay with what he had said to you. Nobody should be. You knew the pair was still friends, but they weren't close anymore. Once they broke up and agreed to be friends, there wasn't much contact between the two. But what Seonghwa said still hurt, for the first two months, he was had started drinking more and went partying most nights. Hongjoong felt like he had no control over him.

The rain was hitting against your window, the dark clouds made it seem like it was much later than 5 in the afternoon. You had just poured yourself a new glass of wine, ready to continue your book when your phone began to ring. Setting the glass down, you walked over the kitchen and picked the device up off the counter. Hongjoong was the only thing it said on the screen. This couldn't be good.

"Hello?"

"y/n!" Seonghwa slurred into the phone. there was a commotion on the other side of the phone as he heard Hongjoong yell his members name. "hi honey." his voice sounded so sweet, which made you even more confused. "I've missed you. Joong told me not to call you, so he took my phone away, but I got his instead."

"Seonghwa, have you been drinking?"

He hiccupped into the phone, " a little? I didn't go to a club or anything, I promise. I was feeling mopey, because I missed you and Yunho suggested that we should drink something. I'm at the dorm, I promise." Hongjoong had given up on trying to get the phone from him. That or Seonghwa had went into a different room. It was silent for a moment before he spoke again. "I fucked up, didn't I? I hurt you and now I've lost you."

You sighed, "Seonghwa."

"I tried so hard not trying to ruin this relationship. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect you. I didn't want you to realize that you deserved better than me. And in the end I hurt you." He choked out a sob, making your heartache.

You weren't mad at him anymore, you just wanted some space. You wanted to clear your thoughts of everything before talking with him again. "Seonghwa, is Hongjoong there?"

There was a sound a shuffling before Hongjoong spoke. "Hello?"

"So, I'm going to come pick him up, can you take care of him for me until then?" you ask in a sympathetic tone. "I'm really sorry for this."

"Don't worry about it, I've got him."

You thanked him before you hung up the phone. As you grabbed your bag and jacket, your shoved your feet through your shoes and rushed out the door. It was only a ten minute walk to the dorms from your apartment. Yunho opened the door for you and stepped aside as you made your way to your boyfriends bedroom. He was sat against the wall and his knees brought to his chest.

"Seonghwa." His head lifted up quickly, staring directly into your eyes.

"y/n." He stands up and makes his way over to you, "what are you doing here?" His eyes moved over to Hongjoong who was attempting to sneak out without being seen. "I'm sorry for calling you so abruptly, I've been chugging a lot of water and I'm starting to sober up."

"Seonghwa," you say again, making the man stop talking. You sighed and looked at his puffy eyes. This wasn't what you wanted. You didn't want to hurt him like this, you didn't want to hurt him at all. You just wanted all of this to be over with. "Let's go home, yeah?"

Seonghwa stared at you, processing what you said to him before nodding. "please."

Hongjoong:

Seonghwa stayed quiet as he listened to you explain to him what had happened with Hongjoong. The words were choppy as you were crying, your voice shaky. You hadn't realized how much of a burden you being towards Hongjoong. He had never snapped at you before, it was all a new feeling for you.

Seonghwa reached over and rubbed your back softly, "I'm sure he didn't mean to. He's been really stressed out lately. Coachella, the comeback, the upcoming tour and his ex leaving him is just icing on the cake. I'm not making excuses for him, how he reacted and what he said was completely unacceptable. But I know what he's like when he's stressed. He says things he doesn't mean."

You swallowed hard and nodded, "I should probably get going. Work isn't going to finish by itself." You wiped your tears and stood up, giving Hwa a small smile. "Thank you."

"Uhm," he started before you could walk off, "maybe tonight, we can meet up and get something to eat? We can invite the others too if that would make you feel more comfortable."

"That'd be nice, would probably make me feel a lot better," You agreed.

He nodded. "Great, I'll message you the details later."

After you clocked out of work, Seonghwa sent you a message to meet at a local restaurant that you usually go to as a group. You didn't bother to go home and change your outfit to something more casual, you just wanted some alcohol. The restaurant was only a short walk from your office, so it didn't take you long to arrive.

"Back again I see!" The owner beamed with excitement when she saw you.

You smiled and politely greeted her, "this is the best restaurant on the street."

She laughed at your comment. "Don't you know how to make an old woman smile. Are you meeting with your friends? If you are, they haven't arrived yet but your back corner table to open if you'd like."

You smiled and thanked her before heading to the back of the restaurant. Given the weekday, the restaurant wasn't busy as it usually was. Only a younger couple and a table of three men dressed in suits. You placed your jacket behind your chair and sit down, your back to the door. It wasn't long before the chair beside you skid against the floor, causing you to look up. To your surprise Hongjoong was standing beside you, nobody else in sight.

"Joong," you whispered as he sat beside you. You turned around to see if the boys were with him but they weren't.

"It's only me," Hongjoong told you, making you turn back to him. "Is that okay? I was hoping we could talk."

You nodded as the owner came by and placed a couple of waters in front of you. "I'm sorry," you said once she was out of earshot.

Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you confused. "You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I took my anger out on you for no reason and said hurtful things."

"I know, but I knew you were stressed and I still pushed your buttons. I knew that you felt I was pestering you and I ignored all the signs. I'm really sorry for bothering you so much," you say looking up at him.

He shook his head. "I had no right to take my anger out on you. What I said to you was mean, and it never should've been said. This break up has been really hard on me and it's starting to cloud my judgement. I don't mind if you try to comfort me, you're much better at it than most of the members. I will do better with how I control my words and actions towards you.

"I will do better at trying to read the signs, and I apologize if my feelings for you were overbearing."

Hongjoong paused and looked at you confused. "Feelings for me? You have feelings for me?"

You mentally slapped yourself, guess your crush wasn't as obvious as you thought it was. "S-So are the other members planning on coming? I don't want to order without them."

"Wait, backtrack. You have feelings for me?"

You opened your mouth to say something when you heard a collection of voices come through the door. The remaining 7 members all went to the back to the room and joined you and Hongjoong at the table.

Seonghwa sat across from you and gave you a cheerful smile. "Did we miss anything."

You quickly shook your head, ignoring Hongjoong's shocked expression. "Nothing at all!"

Yunho:

You began picking at your fingers, looking around your apartment. You had been sitting her for well over 30 minutes, trying to find the strength to begin cleaning. Yunho's words echoing in your mind. You hated how he was right. Your depression was becoming an excuse for everything at this point. You didn't clean your apartment, you hadn't been eating properly, making excuses not to meet with friends and spending all your free time locked in your room.

Yunho walked out of your bedroom, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. "y/n?" He flicked on the ceiling light and looked over at you. "it's 7 in the morning, what are you doing up so early on your day off?"

You couldn't find the words, your mind was racing. You didn't want to explain to him that you spent all night watching motivational videos on YouTube. You opened your mouth to say something but instead you choked out a sob and broke down. Yunho quickly rushed over to you and put his hands around you. He held onto you as you both moved to the ground and cried. You felt like your were shrinking, like you were a small child who wanted to run away from the scary things.

"Shh," he cooed softly in your ear as he ran his fingers through your hands. "It's okay. You're okay, I'm here." He patiently waited for you to calm down, constantly repeating over and over again that you were going to be okay and he wasn't going anywhere.

Once you had finally calmed down, you laid your head against his chest and sniffled. "I have depression," you confessed. Yunho didn't say anything, allowing you to continue. "I went to the doctor about it about a month ago, she referred me to a therapist. Everything seemed fine at first but then the more I worked and came home on repeat." You stopped and took a deep breath. "It started to get worse. Everyone's been so busy and I didn't want to burden anyone. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you. I thought that I could handle this on my own."

Yunho pressed a soft, long kiss at the top of your head. "I'm such an asshole. I'm so sorry I called you lazy, honey. I didn't even think to ask if everything was okay, I just automatically assumed things without talking to you about it first."

You turned and looked up at him. "You're not the only one in the wrong here. My therapist has been pushing me to tell a person. I should've spoken to you instead of trying to do this on my own." You swallowed hard, "I've been watching motivational videos all morning to try to help get me started. But the second I stepped out here, I couldn't do anything."

"Well, there's two of us and one apartment. I will help you do the laundry, clean the dishes and take the trash out," he offered, looking around the room before he looked back down at you. "Would that be okay or is that too much in one day?"

You shake your head and give him a small smile. "I think that'd be great."

"I'm going to start coming home more often, even if it's really late," he tells you, making your eyes go wide. "I don't mind the distance and we're just finishing up promotions. I've been missing you like crazy, the space between us is too large." You smiled and leaned up, giving him a long kiss on his lips. When you parted, he smiled and stood up with his hands on his hips. "Now, where should we start?"

Yeosang:

“Come on! You’re going to love it!!” Yeji shouts as she drags you into the house party.

“I’m really not in the mood for this, Yeji!” You tell her.

The house was flooded with people dancing to the loud music and drinking. You didn’t know half the people that were here, hell you weren’t sure if you knew anyone. Yeji was invited by someone from her workplace and insisted that you came with her. Someone bumped into you, making you huff and move closer to her. You kept walking until Yeji found a guy who was waving her over.

“Minho!” Yeji says, embracing the taller man into a hug.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Minho says before letting her go and looking over at you. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is y/n! It’s her first party!” Yeji tells him. You send him a polite smile and wave.

He nods, smiling at you. “I can tell.”

You zoned out the couple and looked around the room. There weren’t many people in this room, mostly people talking or lounging on the couch. You hated being here, you just wanted to pull Yeji out of here and go home.

“You must be a homebody,” someone says, making you look up to find one of Minho’s friends now standing beside you.

You nodded, “yeah. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“I’m Chan,” he tells you, reaching out his hand for you to shake. He noticed your hesitation and chuckled. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite.”

This made you smile a little before you took his hand in yours. “I’m y/n.”

“Here take this!” Yeji appeared handing you an unopened hard seltzer. “It’s new out of the box and it’ll help with your nerves.”

You watched as she disappeared back to Minho before you opened the can and took a drink. She wasn’t joking when she said it helped with your nerves. You weren’t a lightweight so you weren’t going to get drunk or tipsy off it but it definitely calmed you down. For a while you found yourself chatting with Chan, it wasn’t anything flirtatious but he made you feel more comfortable.

The current song changed to Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter and you let out an excited hum. “I love this song!”

Chan laughed at your excitement, “Well would you like to dance?”

“She’s fine,” a voice says behind, making you look over to find Yeosang staring at Chan.

You furrowed your eyebrows and cross your arms over your chest. “What if i want to dance with him?” This caused Yeosang to snap his head towards you. “Who are you to say what I can and cannot do?”

Chan cleared his throat awkwardly, “I’m gonna go get another drink.”

Neither you nor Yeosang looked up from each other as Chan left the two of you alone. This was your first time seeing Yeosang since you stormed out of the studio a week ago. You hated how he still looked gorgeous as ever.

“What are you doing here?”

Yeosang crossed his arms over his chest, “I should be asking you that. Since when do you come to party like these? Yeji called me and said you needed to be taken home because she left Minho.”

“Yeji called you?” You asked confused, turning around to find Minho & Yeji gone. You groaned, the least she could’ve done was at least given you a heads up. Unless, this was her plan all along. You mentally face palmed your self and groaned. “Damn you, Yeji.”

“I’m not going to force you to leave,” Yeosang assures you. Of course you knew that, you knew better than anyone that he wouldn’t do that to you. “But I will be the one you’re leaving with tonight. You don’t know these people.”

You swallowed hard at his last sentence. “I thought I knew you.” You didn’t think he heard you, but the look on his face made it obvious he heard.

“Come on,” he says, grabbing your hand. You allowed him to lead you out of the party and towards the main road. He helped you into the passenger side of his car before getting in the driver side and pulling off. “You haven’t spoken to me since the day at the studio. I tried calling you the other day but it went straight to voicemail.”

“I’ve been busy, that’s all,” you tell him trying to brush off the conversation.

“It’s because of what I said the other day isn’t it?” he asked, making you look over at him. “About h/e/n?” Your silence was enough confirmation for him. “y/n, i promise you i don’t think that about you.”

“Then why did you say it?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. “Do you not know how much it hurts to hear someone compare you to another person and say you would never compare?”

Yeosang chewed on his bottom lip unsure of what to say. “I don’t know. I guess I was trying to be funny but I wasn’t even thinking about your own feelings.”

You felt the tears build up, “It hurt so much. To hear being compared to someone who is considered perfect to people. Someone who’s considered perfect to you.”

“She’s not!” Yeosang immediately says, reaching over and grabbing your hand in his. The action made your heart skip a beat. “She’s far from perfect, I promise you. y/n, you are the most stunning person I have ever met. you light up the room when you come in. when I saw you talking to Chan, almost dancing with him I felt jealous. Maybe even a little possessive. I never felt that way with h/e/n.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Yeosang pulled into the parking garage of your apartment building and parked the car. Once the car was shut off he turned and looked you in the eyes. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you. Even when i was with h/e/n, I knew that it wasn’t her I was having those feelings for. It was you.”

You swallowed hard and placed a hand on his cheek, “don’t hurt me again.”

“I won’t, I promise,” he tells you before leaning over bringing his lips to yours.

San:

When the group arrived to the amusement park, you stayed glued to Hongjoong's side. Every ride you rode on, you sat between him and Seonghwa. During lunch time you sat them and kept most of your conversations with the two of them. Near the end of the night Hongjoong and Seonghwa began to realize what was actually going on.

San wasn't bothering to talk to you. Instead he was hanging around Yeosang & Wooyoung the whole day. Neither of you spoke to each other or even looked at each other. Hongjoong looked over at Seonghwa, who nodded his head towards a ride that he knew would get the two of you to talk.

Hongjoong picked up on the idea and spoke loud enough for the whole group to hear, "You know, it's almost the end of the night. Why don't San and y/n go on Ferris wheel together?"

Your head shot up towards Hongjoong, who was smiling towards you. San pressed his lips together as the other members started to chime in, agreeing with the idea.

"That's okay," you tell them, holding your hands up in defense. "The line looks pretty long and we don't have that much time left. Maybe we could find a ride that has shorter lines?"

Seonghwa shook his head and put your hand on your lower back, pushing you towards your boyfriend. "That's why we bought the fast passes, the 7 of us are going to go ride another ride while you two ride this one. We will meet back at the entrance once we're all done. Sound good?"

Before you could protest, the 7 boys rushed away from you leaving the two of you alone. Your eyes flicked up at San, who was peering down at you. You did not want to be alone with him right now. San sighed and started making his way towards the Ferris Wheel, you following close behind. The line wasn't nearly as long as you made it out to be, only a couple of people were ahead of you.

"You think she's cute?" you heard someone say behind you.

You looked up to see who the person was talking about, to find two boys from the other lane staring directly at you. Quickly, you turned around and kept your eyes forward.

"Gorgeous, isn't she?" you hear San say, making you look up as he stands behind you, blocking their view. San huffed and leaned down, pressing a kiss at the top of your head. "As if they'd have a chance to take you from me."

His words made you blush but you stayed quiet, still unsure of where to two of you stood. The line took under 10 minutes before the two of you were in a cart together. Instead of sitting beside him like you'd normally would, you sat on the opposite side of him.

San stared at you, as if he was trying to read your mind. "What's going on, y/n?"

You looked away from the sunset and up at your boyfriend. The shine of the golden sun on his skin making him look even more gorgeous. "I didn't want to upset you with being to clingy, so I've been doing my best not to disturb you. You seemed to be fine spending your day with the boys. I'm sorry for inviting myself on your day off."

The cart came to stop at the top of the ride, giving San an opportunity to move beside you. He took your hand in his and gave the top of it a kiss. "I'm sorry, for being so harsh. I could've said it nicer than as harsh as I did. I guess I just felt embarrassed. Wooyoung had been teasing me about you, saying that you get my full attention and you're glued to my side whenever we're together."

You frown and placed a hand on his cheek, "San if I'm doing too much or making you feel uncomfortable in anyway, I'd prefer if you come to me instead of saying hurtful things."

"But you don't!" San quickly said. "I'm not uncomfortable and you're definitely not doing to much. I love how clingy you are. I love how you constantly hold onto me whether it be my hand or just the sleeve of my shirt. I don't want you change that, in fact do more." You gave out a soft chuckle. "I'm really sorry I let Wooyoung's jokes get to me. I don't even know where that comment about h/e/n came from. I promise you, I was just being an insensitive jerk."

You give him a small smile and pat the top of his head, "well I'm glad you were able to admit your mistake and be honest with me. However, Wooyoung & I are going to need to have a serious talk."

San smiled at you and leaned over, giving you a kiss on the lips. The ride went another time around before two of you got off. Holding hands, the two of you made your way towards the entrance of park. The group of boys were huddled around a bench, waiting for you.

Seonghwa was the first person to notice the two of you. "Looks like everything is back to normal."

Once you two reach the group, Wooyoung gave you both a confused look. "When were you two ever not okay?"

You squinted your eyes at him and let go of San's hand. "Oh, you'd like to know all about that wouldn't you?"

Wooyoung's eyes widen as he turned and started to dash out of the park, you following closely behind. The rest of the group laughed as they started to walk out, watching as you chased Wooyoung' to the car. Wooyoung's shouting echoing from afar.

Mingi:

It had been a week since you last went to take Mingi any food. Hongjoong has been reassuring you that the younger member was eating properly, but he hasn't mentioned you since. You had occasional small talk with your boyfriend, but it wasn't like it was before. There was a tension in the air and it wasn't that hard to figure out why.

It had been a week since you last went to take Mingi any food. Hongjoong has been reassuring you that the younger member was eating properly, but he hasn't mentioned you since. You had occasional small talk with your boyfriend, but it wasn't like it was before. There was a tension in the air and it wasn't that hard to figure out why.

Tonight you were preparing yourself to go to meet the boys at dinner for Seonghwa's birthday. Mingi was the one who brought it up but Seonghwa was the one who invited you. You stared at yourself repeatedly in the mirror, debating whether or not going was the best idea. The sound of your phone vibrating on your desk made you tear your eyes away and look over at the screen. Mingi’s name appeared on the screen with hearts next to his name.

“Hello?” you ask after hitting accepting the call and bringing the phone up to your ear.

There was a silence on the other end making you think he called by accident. “Hey.”

“Hi,” you say softly, unsure of what else to say.

Mingi stayed silent before clearing his throat, “uhm, so would you want to ride together to the party?”

Your heart skipped a beat. Although still hurt after everything, you weren’t going to deny that you missed your boyfriend. “Okay, what time?”

“I’m actually at your door right now.”

You blinked and walked out of your bedroom, heading towards your front door. When you opened the door you came face to face with a rather nervous Mingi. You brought the phone down and ended the call, staring at him with a surprised look.

Mingi put his phone in his pocket before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Your eyes widened, Mingi was never the type to initiate contact like this. You were always the one to hold his hand, hug him and, for the most part, even kiss him first. Your arms wrapped around his waist, accepting his warm embrace.

“I’m so sorry for how I treated you,” he says, pulling away slightly and setting his forehead onto yours. “You were just checking up on me and taking care of me. I’ve been so stressed with the comeback, the tour and traveling that I took it out on you. It’s not excuse but I really am sorry. This week has been torture, it’s not like when I'm away for concerts. I don’t want to be apart from you, I don’t want space. I want you, y/n. I want your clinginess. I want your daily texts asking me how I'm doing. I want the lunchboxes you bring me everyday knowing well I forget to eat. I want you, y/n.”

“Shh, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you tell him. You reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, gently rubbing your finger against his skin. “Can we just move on from this and go to the party?”

Mingi moved his head to the crook of your neck. “Screw the party, I can think of other things we can do.”

The feeling of his lips leaving kisses on your neck gave you goosebumps. You let out a soft sigh, “Seonghwa is your member and he wants you there. Plus, who are you to turn away a good party.”

Mingi hummed against your skin and whispered in your ear, “we can be late. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Before you were able to respond Mingi lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He started walking into the apartment, your lips pressed against his as he closed the door behind him with his foot.

Wooyoung:

You stared at the blank canvas that was begging for you to paint on it. You hadn’t even prepared the paint yet because you knew you weren’t going to get anywhere. Your mind was flooded with grey thoughts, none of them giving you inspiration for a new piece. Sighing, you stood up from your stool and walked out of your office.

Ever since your argument with Wooyoung, you had lost all motivation paint. Painting was your way of escaping reality and right now it felt like reality wouldn’t leave you alone. You walked into your living room, heading towards the couch when your front door opened. Startled, you picked up the closest object to you (which so happened to be the remote control) and turned around to fine Wooyoung standing by the door.

Wooyoung looked at you with a raised eyebrow, “do you really think you can fight off a person with the remote?”

You glared at him and crossed your arms over your chest. “What are you doing here?”

Wooyoung slipped off his shoes and stood in front of you. “We need to talk.”

“You couldn’t have called me? Or at least given me a heads up that you were on your way over? Scaring the crap out of me could have been completely avoided,” you told him, expecting him to crack a joke but all he did was stare at you with a blank stare. You stared at him and felt your heart drop for a moment. “You’re breaking up with me.”

Wooyoung swallowed hard and opened his mouth to say something but he stopped himself. You knew that the fight you had was a bad one, especially with how it ended, but you never knew your relationship would end like this.

“I said a lot of things that hurt you the other day and it wasn’t right,” he started, running his fingers through his hair. “I compared you to someone who broke me in so many ways that I didn’t even know were possible. Someone who took every insecurity I had and held it against me. And you…you are nothing like her. You treat me with respect and I feel like a goddamn prince when I'm with you. You’ve made me the happiest person I have ever been.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused by where he was going with this. “So why? Why do we have to end it all? You said it yourself, I make you feel like the happiest person.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he says. You watched him as he sighed and took a seat in your couch. “You deserve a person who will treat you just as great as you treat them. A person who won’t accuse you doing things with other people. A person who could trust without holding anything back. You deserve so much better than me, y/n.”

You could feel the tears build up as you stare down at him. “What if I say no?”

“y/n—“ you cut him off, “I don’t want to be in some perfect relationship. I don’t want some perfect guy who sweeps me off his feet and makes no mistakes. I want to be with you, Wooyoung. I’m in love with you.”

Wooyoung was crying now, tears on his cheeks as he looks at you. “I do nothing but hurt you, y/n. You deserve so much better than me.”

You cupped his face into your hands and brought your lips to his. The kiss was soft and only lasted a minute before you pulled away. “I told you from the beginning that I knew you were going to have a hard time trusting me. But I need you to believe me when I say, there will never be anybody else. Unless you absolutely want me to, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he says before you pull him into a hug. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I shouldn’t have said those words to you. I got scared and insecure, and I acted without thinking it through.”

You didn’t respond, you just ran your fingers through his hair as he hugged you tightly. Of course this wasn’t going to be your final fight but it was the one that changed a lot in your relationship.

Jongho:

“Ugh, I'm starving!” Yeji groans as your friends make your way into the restaurant.

The place was packed with young college students celebrating the end of the semester. The four of you found a spot in between two couples who both seemed to be unfazed with the capacity. A young waitress comes over and takes your order before she disappears to the back of the restaurant.

“I need a drink,” Sumin says, not wasting any time cracking open a bottle and pouring herself a shot.

“At least we should take one together!” Chaeyoung says, watching as Sumin tosses her back as she downs the shot.

Sumin slams the glass on the table with a satisfied ‘Ah’. She picks up the glass again and starts to fill everyone else’s glasses with the alcohol. “Cheers!”

“To what exactly?” Yeji asks.

“To finally getting y/n to come out with us!” Sumin says.

You roll your eyes playfully and take the shot as the same time as the girls. The alcohol felt bitter against your throat as you swallowed it and set the glass on the table. “Please, you know I’ve been busy with work.”

“Hey, is that Jongho?” Chaeyoung asks, causing the group to turn toward the television.

You followed their heads and saw a picture of Jongho & his ex being photographed together at a restaurant. The gossip reporter was talking about the rumor of the two of them getting back together and being spotted over the past weekend. You swallowed hard and looked away from the TV.

Sumin looked over at you with a concerned look. Out of all your friends, Sumin was the only one who knew about your relationship with Jongho. She knew about the break up too, she insisted on you telling your other friends but you were too embarrassed by falling so hard so fast.

“I heard she’s blackmailing him,” Yeji speaks up, gaining everyone’s attention. “Apparently she found out a he was seeing a girl and she took photos of them. She told him that if he doesn’t get back with her that she’s going to release the photos.”

Chaeyoung nodded, “I heard that too! He ended up breaking up with the girl because he wanted to protect her from the public.”

“The ex sounds insane,” Sumin chimes in dramatically, giving you a look, “I don’t know why anyone would choose her.”

“I-uh…I’ll be right back, and if I'm not. I’ll call you,” you say, quickly getting up and heading out of the restaurant.

“Where are you going?” Chaeyoung called after you.

“She’s going to get her man,” Sumin says loud enough for you to hear.

Once you got outside, you got into a taxi that just dropped a group of girls off and gave them the address to Jongho’s apartment. You quickly paid the fare and rushed inside the building. Instead of taking the elevator, you took the stairs to the third floor and walked up to Jongho’s door. Standing up straight, you caught your breath and knocked on the door.

It didn’t take long before Jongho opened the door, confusion on his face when he spotted you. “y/n? what are you doing here?”

“Is it true?” You asked, not giving him much information. “Did she blackmail you into breaking up with me.”

“H-How did you know about that?”

“People in the industry are talking about it. If it’s true, they know that she’s blackmailing you. They are saying you broke up with me because she was threatening to expose us,” You say quickly, “so is it true? You didn’t actually want to be with her? You don’t still love her?”

Jongho stayed quiet, unsure on if he should confirm or not. But what was the point of denying it if you already knew pretty much everything? “Yes, she’s blackmailing me.”

“Jongho, I don’t care if she releases anything that has to do with us,” you tell him, taking his hands in yours. “And even if she does have anything on us, it’s most likely not much considering we don’t go out much to begin with. Your true fans will support you if you’re dating a person or not. I don’t want us to end what we had because she thinks she can hold something against us. That is…if you want to be with me.”

“Of course i want to be with you, y/n,” he confesses, pulling you into a hug. “I didn’t confess to you on a whim. I confessed to you because I have feelings for you. I should’ve stood up for myself, for us and told her to screw off.”

You pull away and look up at him, “You did what you thought was going to protect me. I’m not going to be upset with you for that. But no matter what she tries to do, I’m not going anywhere.”

Jongho smiled and leaned his forehead against you, “I’ve missed you so much.” You smiled back at him and brought your lips against his.

[nastyenemyeater]

Rockstar Choso 🫣👹🎸🥁- FANFIC

I saw some tiktoks about Choso being a drummer and it gave me some ideas.

Here are the links :

SHOUT OUT TO NARUTOSS.RAMEN

either way here's the plot : basically Y/n got cheated on by her bf at a club and she got revenge by kissing the drummer of 'The curses' rockstar band .

“Look Y/n isn’t that Nathan?” asked your best friend, pointing at a guy during a hardcore kissing session with a random girl.

The blasting music, the heat in the club and the moving people passing by and occasionally shoving you to pave their way, were not helping you in any way digest the scene you just witnessed.

Your knees felt weak, your heartbeat increased considerably, memories flashed by, tears started overflowing and millions of questions exploded inside your head “why? Am I dreaming? Why did he cheat so easily? Did he even love me?”

“Go confront him Y/n! What are you waiting for? The fuck??” shouted your best friend, shaking you fervently and bringing you back to the hell.

You couldn’t. Or you thought it didn’t matter anymore.

“That motherfucker” you seethed in anger.

Alcohol was all you could think about. Yes, you needed to drink a shit ton of it. After all, you came to the club to enjoy your Saturday night. You didn’t plan on having your heart broken but … life never goes how you want it right?

You made your way to the bar, jaw clenched, eyes burning with anger and determined to drown the night’s misery in alcohol. The bartender handed you the strongest shot of vodka, and you backed at least five of them. Each one went down smoother than the last, but the pain refused to fade.

"Maybe I should just make out with the first guy that comes along," you thought bitterly, resting your head on your arms as you looked to your left.

Unexpectedly, a pair of dark, hazy eyes were already locked on you. He sat back against the bar, elbows resting casually behind him. His dark, messy hair clung to his sweaty forehead, framing his sharp features – a defined jawline, high cheekbones, and tired, yet piercing eyes that studied you intently. Tattoos snaked up his neck and down his muscular arms, accentuated by the sleeveless black shirt that clung to his broad frame. His legs were spread wide, exuding a quiet confidence and control.

Without thinking, you locked eyes with him, staring intently with no thoughts, just an empty, heated gaze. A faint smirk played on his lips as he stared back, silent but sharp, as if he was waiting for you to make the next move.

“Whatch’you lookin’ at?” he asked with an amused tone, breaking the silence between you two.

You didn’t have the strength to engage in any conversation yet, and all you could do was stare at him. Being in that inebriating state made easy for you to prolongate the eye contact.

He let out a low chuckle, stood from his seat and made his way toward you.

But before he could take another step, 2 other guys suddenly pulled him away, dragging him toward the other side of the bar. A chaotic stream of girls followed, screaming some names as they swarmed after them.

You watched as he winked at you before disappearing into the crowd. Despite the commotion, you remained rooted to your spot, an amused smile playing on your lips as you took in the scene.

“Wow, they must be somebody for them to get followed liked this” you wondered. You groaned loudly as you realized your mistake “Fuckkk ! I just blew my chance … fuck fuck fuck … Uh give me another one please” you said, asking for another shot to forget about this massive fail.

By now, the alcohol coursing through your veins made you feel more at ease, braver, and a little reckless. Confidence surged with every beat of the rock music that pounded through the club, filling your body with raw energy. The tension that had been building up inside you needed an outlet, and before you knew it, you found yourself weaving through the crowd toward the dance floor.

You moved with purpose, shaking off the accumulated stress with each step. The crowd was electric, and soon you managed to slip right to the front of the stage, where you spotted the two guys who had dragged your "new friend" away earlier. They were performing, and you finally recognized them as The Curses, a rockstar band.

You also spotted your "new friend" as their drummer. His name was Choso apparently.

The music reverberated through your body, each beat syncing with the rising tension inside, a strange mix of hurt, anger, and alcohol pushing you to the edge. By the time they finished their set, the adrenaline was pumping so hard it was like a shot of fire to your system.

Without thinking, you somehow climbed up on the stage. The crowd’s roar faded into the background as you grabbed the microphone, your voice raw with emotion as you shouted, “FUCK YOU NATHAN!”

The audience gasped, some laughing, some unsure what was happening, but you didn’t care. Your mind raced as you continued, “GO FUCK YOURSELF NATHAN! YOU DON’T DESERVE SHIT IN YOUR LIFE”

The two guys from the band rushed over, trying to calm you down, but most importantly trying to yank the mic out of your hands. One of them put a hand on your shoulder, but you jerked your arm away and continued, “YOU HEAR ME, NATHAN? YOU MANWHORE”

Someone grabbed your arm, pulling you slightly back as a voice whispered, "C’mon, miss, don’t embarrass yourself. Get down from the—"

But you cut them off, shouting, “DON’T TOUCH ME! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK!” Your voice rang out, fierce and defiant. Then, you turned and realized it wasn’t a stranger—it was Choso. His intense, steady gaze met yours, silently pleading for you to calm down. For a moment, everything else faded, and it was just the two of you, his eyes trying to pull you back from the edge.

The noise and chaos seemed to fade into the background. Staring into his captivating eyes, you thought, It’s now or never. Your gaze flicked from his eyes to his plump lips, and without hesitation, you acted.

You dragged him down toward you, while rising up onto your tiptoes, and then you kissed him fervently, all the pent-up emotion pouring into that moment.

His pink-haired friend cackled into the mic, “You hear that, Nathan? You fucked up! Your girl’s gone now!”

“yeah you son a bitch! look at me eating up this guy’s mouth!” you thought, deepening the kiss.

You would be a total liar if you said that making out with Choso was just any other chore to get back at your ex.

No, no, no, no… that man was a beast. The second your lips touched his, he yanked your body against his, your breasts colliding with his large, hard chest.

Every inch of him was solid, muscle-packed beneath his shirt like he was carved from stone. His body radiated heat, and the faint sheen of sweat from his earlier performance mixed with the scent of his cologne—a powerful, intoxicating blend that made you want him even more. The mix was engulfing, dizzying, wrapping around you like a drug, making it impossible to pull away.

What started as a kiss turned into something deeper, more intense. His mouth was commanding, his lips moving over yours with a hunger that sent a shiver down your spine. His tongue was battling against yours, and all you could do was respond.

He was devouring the fuck out of you.

His hands slid down to your waist, his grip tightening as if he couldn’t bear to let you go. The feel of his body against yours – strong, immovable – made you crave more. Your fingers roamed up his shoulders, desperate to feel more of him, to get closer.

This wasn’t just some kiss to get back at Nathan. Choso’s kiss was raw, overwhelming, and consuming – everything you didn’t know you needed.

“Ok ok lovebirds! time’s up! you both can finish this later” suggested his sexy black-haired friend.

The crowd's reaction to your passionate kiss was a mix of emotions. Some voices rose in anger, hurling insults, while others cheered loudly, celebrating your bold move. The air buzzed with a clash of discontent and admiration. Some of them even started chanting “fuck you Nathan” in chorus.

But eventually, all good things must come to an end … and you had to shed yourself from Choso’s addictive body. You were both panting and staring at each other’s soul trying to figure out what just happened and what was going to happen afterwards.

“So ... do you make a habit of kissing random guys on stage?” he asked with a smirk, his eyes lingering on your face, taking in every detail.

“I … I have to go …” you stuttered, pushing him slowly away.

“Oh nah you can’t go now. There is no way I’ll let you leave after what you just did to me” he said, pulling you closer.

“I acted impulsively … I’m sorry … I need to go” you said, still trying to get out of his grip.

“Oh, so you’re just going to run back to Nathan?” he spat bitterly, holding you even harder.

You immediately frowned upon hearing his name again.

“Fuck you” you gritted, putting all your almighty force to push yourself away from him.

“That’s perfect, I have a 20-minute break anyway” he said, grinning. Before you could respond, his strong arms encircled your waist. In one swift, fluid motion, you were lifted off the ground. Panic surged as you were hoisted over his shoulder. It wasn’t a gentle lift; it was firm and unyielding.

“Guys, if you don’t mind, I have something to take care of” he informed his friends.

“Man, do whatch’ya gotta do, we lost you the minute she got on stage” said the black-haired guy.

You kicked and hit desperately, your fists pounding against his back. “Put me down!” you screamed, struggling against the grip holding you. “Let me go!”

“I don’t know about you, but I like to kiss a little before fucking. That being said, if you like it rough I can do that for you baby” he said, spanking you.

“The fuck??? did you just spank me?? how dare you??” you screamed at him, outraged.

“oh so we were literally dry-humping each other on stage 5 minutes ago but I can’t spank you now? That’s bullshit! You’re mine now!” he said, pushing an exit door.

When he finally set you down, the cold night air jolted you back to reality.

“Listen, I’m sorry, I didn’t think this through, ok? I just saw my boyfriend kissing a chick and I saw you as an opportunity to get revenge … I’m sorry please, just let me go” you pleaded.

He leaned in, slammed both of his hands on the wall, caging you with his body “So you’re telling me you didn’t enjoy our kissing session?” he asked faking a pout, but clearly amused.

“I didn’t say that” you shyly admitted, looking away.

“Then why are you running away?” he whispered in your ear, his lips now dangerously close to your neck.

“Please understand my situation here, I still have to deal with my feelings” you said, trying to get your neurons to work.

“I know for sure I can get him out of your head and give you new feelings to think about” he whispered against your neck.

“Look, I’m not trying to fuck … I told you I acted impulsively, I’m sorry” you asserted. Your mouth said no but your body craved this man with every alive and dead cell.

“Hey, as much as I love sex, I’m not going to fuck with you if you’re not willing. What I’d really like to do, though, is to get to know you better. So, what’s your name” he asked, his tilted curious face looking at you.

“I … uh … Y/n” you sighed. You knew there was no point in faking a name. You would have forgotten about it anyway.

“Y/n ... I can see myself moaning your name”

“Shut up. Choso.” you said, trying to hide your fluster.

“I definitely can see you moaning my name” he added, with a smirk.

You could see yourself doing that too. Just thinking about it, sent tingling signals to your pussy.

“Can I get another kiss before going back to stage?” he asked with a demanding look on his face. He looked so adorable, with his pleading eyes and his slightly parted lips. He held your chin up with his hand, forcing you to look up to him.

That bastard … He wasn’t playing fairly …

“if you keep looking at me like that I might have to bring you home, and keep you all for myself” he whispered again in your neck.

You couldn’t speak. You were unable to focus on not acting impulsively again and trying to formulate long sentences. Your brain was in a total meltdown.

“Just so you know, I still plan to get my revenge and kiss you first, and when I do, you’re not getting out alive” he added, gently kissing your neck.

Silence.

“Please ... say something, you’re driving me crazy” he whispered, desperation lingering on his voice.

His hands slid on your back, pulling you closer to him.

“Fuck … baby … please … don’t give me the silence treatment …” he whined, holding you harder.

“Ok …just one peck” you sighed, finally making a decision. You had surrendered to this man’s desires.  

You got on your tippy toes and gave him a 4-second peck on his soft lips. But no light brush of lips or polite peck was enough for Choso. As soon as your lips touched again, he kissed you back with everything he had, hungry for so much more.

“Hey! C’mon man, we need you back on stage. Sex time’s over” interrupted pink-haired guy busting the exit door open.

“Fuck off man” Choso growled between kisses, as you both slowly came to a stop.

“I want to see you again baby. Gimme somethin’ more than your name” he asked, visibly frustrated.

“How about you look for me here next Saturday at your concert?” you suggested, smirking unknowingly, your hands roaming on his broad chest.

“And when I catch you,” he said with a grin, “you'll see the things I’m going to do to you.” he finished, with a hard squeeze of your ass.

i hope you liked this story ❤️ don't hesitate to comment and reblog !

[rockstvrdotcom]

"show me how sorry you really are." // hobie x fem reader nsfw

THIS ISNT THE HATEFUCK

hobies kinda harsh in this :( disclaimer i do not believe he is a toxic bf this is for the sake of the ff okay?

cw/tw: angst sorta not rlly, nsfw, throatfucking, slight dubcon? not rlly there's no spoken consent but theres consent, choking, after care, mentions of alcohol/drinking, degradation

HOBIE BROWN X FEM! READER

skip to cut for smut

you stumbled back into the house at 1 am, drunk but not that drunk— you had snuck out a few hours ago to go party at a club with your friends. you tried to take it light on the alcohol but ended up drinking a bit more than you intended.

you walked blindly in the dark, trying to find your way back to the room before hobie could notice. you steadily walked up to the stairs, almost tripping a few times before you finally took the last step; bumping into what you thought was a wall before your eyes roamed up.

it was hobie, standing there with his arms crossed before grabbing your shirt to make sure you didn't fall down the stairs. he picked you up effortlessly, bringing you to the bed and almost harshly dropping you on it.

"where the hell were you?" he asked, making sure you didn't fall asleep by making you sit upright, patting your cheek a few times. you scanned his body; he was shirtless, wearing grey sweats. the same outfit he was wearing when you both went to 'sleep'.

you proccessed his question for a few seconds before speaking, you knew it'd be better to just be honest with him. ".. at the club, with my friends." you said with your head down.

"really, (y/n)? again?" he said, disappointed as his eyebrows furrowed. you looked away, knowing he was about to scold you.

"i work my ass off day and night, just to keep you safe and you go off to some club without telling me?" he gestured with his hands, anger evident in his voice as he tried to keep his cool.

"i- i'm sorry hobie." you muttered under your breath, looking up at him with genuine guilt.

"sorry would've cut it the first time, but not anymore. this the 5th time." he spoke coldly. his eyes narrowed as he heard the genuine sorry in your voice.

he watched your gaze roam everywhere but him. he grabbed your chin, harshly. "look at me, (y/n). you can't keep fuckin' doing this." he hissed, looking dead in your eyes. you could see his anger written all over his face.

"i won't do it again, i promise." you said, flinching as he took ahold of your chin. he let go, a scowl on his face.

"you promise? you said that the last 3 times," he scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. you watched his eyes scan you, your cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

you were wearing revealing clothes; watching a hint of desire flash through his eyes before he got back to scolding you. "and i know how you get when your drunk! your all flirty and acting like some cheap whore. who knows what you did with other men at the club?!" he blurted out, making tears well up in your eyes.

"i don't know what to do with this anymore. you have to show me that you really mean it this time." he spoke firmly, a hint of a suggestive tone behind it as he grew pent up with anger.

"i think i should sleep on the couch tonight." you murmured, pushing past him as you couldn't bear anymore of his scolding. you neared the door until a web shot out and slammed the door shut. (lets pretend like his webs are organic ok?)

you yelped as the loud noise startle you, not even able to turn around before he pinned you to the door. "nah, love. you don't get to leave– gotta teach you the consequences of your actions." he mumbled right next to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

you had no time to respond before he turned you around, picking you up with no struggle and hoisting you onto his hips— looking deep into your eyes before taking your cheeks inbetween his hand and kissing you roughly and passionately; grunting into the kiss when he heard your quiet moan.

"fuck.. don't know what im gonna do with you." he mumbled against your lips, his frustration still obvious in his expression as you felt the growing bulge under his sweats against your clothed pussy; groaning as he grinded up into you.

"h- hobie.." was all you could muster out before he shushed you with another kiss, this time shoving his tongue into your mouth.

both of your tongues danced with eachother, his hand moving to ride your dress up your thigh, your panties and the wet spot in the middle on full display as the breeze from the open window made you shiver.

"show me how sorry you really are, yeah?" he broke the kiss, mumbling into your ear as he kept you up with one hand, the other moving to take his pants and boxers off just enough so his dick popped out, slapping against his stomach and revealing his hard cock; precum leaking from his tip.

you nodded in response, pushing your panties aside and looking at him expectantly.

"nah, ill let you do all the work since you wanna go and sneak out on me." he said spitefully, letting you down and off the door as he walked over to the bed, sitting at the foot of the bed.

"c'mere, slut." he spoke, spreading his legs; patting his thigh and waiting impatiently for you to get between them and suck him off.

he watched you walk over just like he told you to. getting on your knees and inbetween his legs just like he told you to. you admired his cock for a second; leaving little kitty licks and soft kisses despite the way he had his hand tangled roughly in your hair, tugging harshly as a way of telling you to get to it.

after what seemed like forever to him, you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock, slowly lowering yourself onto him.

you felt his hand grip your head before making you take all of him in your mouth; gagging on his cock as he slid into your mouth until his tip hit the back of your throat.

before you even had time to adjust— he was ramming his hips up and into your face, watching your eyes roll back as you choke on his cock.

"fuck.. such a good whore for me, yeah?" he groaned in between pants, the sight almost making him cum deep in your throat. he continued thrusting his hips up, chuckling as you moaned around his cock.

you felt him twitch inside of your mouth as he let go of your hair, letting you do the work for now. you bobbed up and down on his dick; throat already sore as you rested your hands on his thighs.

"fuck yeah.. your throat feels almost as good as your pussy." he mumbled, his hips twitching up and making you gag again. the way your throat constricted around him made him so fucking horny; his orgasm nearing.

"hurry it up, yeah?" he moaned out, starting to buck his hips up into your mouth again. your saliva coated his cock, your nose bumping against his pelvis with each thrust.

"shit, c- cumming." he said, slapping a hand over his mouth as his head rolled back, thrusting up into your mouth one more time before pulling out and coming all over your tits.

he stood between your legs as you sat comfortably on the bathroom counter, handing you a glass of water. "drink up, doll." he said, holding it up to your lips as you drank in large gulps, wincing at the stinging pain in your throat.

he rubbed your back, kissing your forehead. "i'm sorry for being so rough, darlin. but promise me you won't sneak out again, bring me next time." he said, rubbing your back as he cleaned your face with a warm towel.

"i'm sorry, hobes." you said apologetically, kissing him softly on the lips as you placed the glass of water down.

he nodded in response, turning the bath on and turning the water to warm. he walked back over to you, carefully pulling your dress off, along with your bra and panties.

"hop in, love."

sorry if this was lazy </33 getting back into writing tho so send requests!!

[here222lurk]

Toji Fushiguro Vs. The Plushies - Part 2!

Will Toji win the IDGAF war? 

Part 1

Warnings: 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, blowjob, and toji being a big big softie

Bored out of your mind, you watch the sky turn from pink to blue. It’s a nice Friday to be out. Here you are spending it in a grey conference room lit with lights fit for a hospital room 23 floors off the ground.

Your phone buzzes with a text from Toji.

wru?

Still stuck in a meeting

Just ditch it? It’s way past 5

It’s 5:03…but i get u

tell em it’s an emergency 

What??

Your bf needs to cum or he’ll die? 🥺

🙄🙄🙄

I’m srs

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You bolt the minute you exchange “Thanks,” “Bye,” and “Have a good weekend” with your coworkers. Toji greets you outside your office building and takes your stuff to carry it for you. He’s wearing a white long sleeve shirt with a fuzzy black jacket that you’re definitely stealing later. 

Toji’s face lights up and breaks the stern look on his face. He looks rugged but when he greets you he turns into a puppy. A puppy who is six feet tall and has claimed innumerable lives. He’s the best. 

He wraps his arm around your waist as you head home. There’s a big crowd in your usual route, urging you and Toji to take another street instead. You didn’t mind. It was nice to take the longer route if it means being away from a huge crowd. Anything feels bearable as long as he’s by your side. 

Along the seemingly never ending rows of stores, you pass by a series of claw machines. Nothing looked appealing until something caught your eye.

Toji wait– you abruptly stopped walking.

Huh? 

You tug his sleeve so to the side of the street and point to the machine with a banana plushie with duck-like features.

You want it?

You nod.

But it’s not even that cute. 

No plushie. No head.

Toji takes a deep breath as he searches his pockets for loose change. 

After about 12 tries and thumping on the glass out of frustration, you and Toji decided to stop. “I think let’s cap it at ¥1,200 and quit before we spend enough to buy a new plushie without the torture…” You watch his scar as he clicks his tongue in frustration. “So… no head?”

“Yup. No head for a million years.”

“That right? Let’s see you take that back in a few hours.” Toji chuckles and kisses your forehead. You catch a whiff of Toji as he leaned to kiss you. He smelled like fresh laundry and safety. There are probably no words to describe how comfortable his scent is. But if you had to try to describe it, you’d say he smells sweet like a floral dessert and a warm blanket comforter at the same time. 

After a train ride and a short walk, you arrive at your flat where you prove him right and give him head just cause. 

In the morning you wake up and find yourself alone in your bed. The only thing in the bed with you is your army of plushies. You grab Jiji and hug him until you doze off again. The sound of Toji bumping his toe on your furniture and muffling a curse woke you up. Your hazy vision focuses on his bulky silhouette.

“Did I wake you? Sorry babe.”

“It’s cool.” You reply while struggling to open your eyes fully.

“Wanna eat?” He asked while placing a paper bag on your bed. You inspect the bag and find your favorite BLT sandwich. 

“You’re too good to me. And you went all the way to The Sandwich Club?! That place near my office? That’s so far.”

“Chill. It’s a sandwich. Besides, you haven’t seen the best part.” Toji grabs something from his back to show you the banana duck plushie from last night. 

“Am I still dreaming??” you say letting go of the sandwich to hold the banana duck. Toji sits on the bed and as soon as his butt touches the mattress, you place the plushie on the left side of his face, squishing them together. You feel your chest tighten as Toji’s cheek presses against it. “Thank you baby…How fucking cute. This means the world.” You gave him a barrage of soft kisses. 

An unfamiliar feeling washes over Toji. He melts into your touch. He feels his cheeks ache as he tries to tame his smile that just won’t go away. It was nice to be held and taken care of. His early life may not have granted him this privilege, but he could definitely get used to this. Maybe allowing himself to be seen like this isn’t the worst thing in the world. 

“How many tries?” you ask biting into your sandwich.

“I plead the fifth.” he replied with the cheekiest smile.

“I love that. Be hot. Do crime.” 

“Do crime.”

The next time you pass by that street for fun, you see the claw machines with a couple new extra locks.

[aisuigetsu]

a lil photo summary of my year (2023)

started my year at Harrah's Atlantic City. this was the second year i went to AC for my birthday! won some and lost some and won some back, net gain $300 ish? since i always go during new year's nothing's ever open... not a ton of food options and no strip clubs :(

in feb i went to seattle for the 4th time LMAO. this was the first time i flew since covid. it was raining every day but the clam chowder slapped

march i watched The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart at the McKittrick Hotel. during the last song everyone was having a great time and i was TEARING UP lol it was so beautiful.

went home and immediately wrote a letter to alan brown to watch it (since it was only showing for 8 weeks), not sure if he went tho

april went hiking at Catskill Giant Ledge. there were very few signs so we ended up walking at least 3 miles extra. it was so snowy and icy and i did not have hiking boots. not too bad going up but basically came down the whole way by sliding slowly on my butt

may i went to an airbnb in Long Island that i really liked. this time we got to go boating.

last time i went was when the pandemic first started calming down, and i felt a sudden urge to escape the city. i booked the train ticket and airbnb and left after work that night. after staying there for a day and a half, a group of girls also came to the house (owner rented out multiple homes) and i heard one of them talk abt my restaurant.... needless to say i bolted out of there even tho my stay wasn't finished

funny detail from this trip was i mentioned the sunrise is really beautiful here and we must see it. however for days in a row neither of us could get up, and finally on the last day i was like "i have to wake up" and i did at like 5:30. but i was soooooo tired so i took a picture of the sunrise and went back to sleep. we both woke up around noon and i was like "hah i knew you wouldn't be able to wake up so i took this picture for you" and HE HAD DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THING LMAOOO

june working through the air pollution woohoo

parents took me to Seven Lake Drive, it was really pretty and full of mosquitos

one day in july i randomly wanted to walk to brooklyn bridge from my apt in queens. when i have nothing to do i just wanna walk for really long distances

got covid for the first time and during my sick day i saw this girl on the rooftop of the building across. lowkey kinda worried abt her so i kept watching her and then she took a selfie LOL. stopped watching after that

august went to Mt. Taurus to watch the Perseid Meteor Shower. it was really clear during the day and started pouring as soon as it turned dark.

at like 2am me and my bf were just in the middle of nowhere (to avoid light pollution) in the car frantically searching up the satellite map to see when the clouds would pass and also the weather forecast for any rural areas within 100 miles. unfortunately it was raining EVERYWHERE for multiple days. better luck in 2024

then we went peach picking in NJ, not a ton of hard peaches left by this time

october we went to vermont for anniversary trip and he picked an "easy hike" to "see the foliage"

mountaintop view was like:

it was steep and cold and started raining on the way down. by the time we got back to the parking lot it was completely fucking dark. the entire way down i was looking for spots to camp in case we were stuck on the mountain...

high school classmate organized a Survivor themed camping trip. the bathrooms at this campsite were NASTY and i was on my period too 0/10. but it was a fun time and i got eliminated fifth

november in las vegas. loved it, lost 1.7k

came back to nyc and watched Un Ballo in Maschera. honestly kind of depressing cuz i couldn't just clap and cheer every 10 seconds like in the circus TT

[blackinquisitors]

this Sims update is so... I had to sleep in order to process it. so basically. a little while ago it was new years and Isaacs new years resolution was to get a girlfriend. I sorta forgot abt it for a few days and then he only had 3 days to find a gf. so then began the great hunt for pussy. we went everywhere teenagers frequent and was fruitless for a while. during his search he won a karaoke contest and stole someone's dog from the karaoke bar (Minnie!) who is such a mut that when I went into cas to change her eyes from blue to brown, the game made me name the breed (which I named Theft). but finally found a single teenage girl. her name is nanami she had green hair and pronouns. shes hotheaded and unflirty but shes artistic so manic pixie dream girl right. anyway Isaac is determined to woo her and he lays down the magic. he takes her to the abandoned ruins, smokes a joint with her and then they go and "mess around" in a bush. this vocabulary is crucial. they did not woohoo or have sex (wickedwhims) they messed around. but she somehow agrees to be his gf so resolution complete

we switch back to the Marstons who have been consistently horrible people. jack aged up into a toddler and John remodeled the house and added two extra rooms, so that allowed abigail to move her camgirl streams from the living room to the bedroom. she's still making more cash than John is as a car mechanic. her fans give her more love than John does tbh. but they're still separated yet married and secretly despise each other but at least jack and the dog named Bullet get along

we bounced around from house to house for a while. went to the gaskill, Jones, and Jackson household and decided to hunt for a man for Tilly. requirements: looks like he eats pussy, black (or brown), has a job. we found a fella working at a food stall and fixed him up in cas so he will be her future artsy bf with a pornstache but it's too early. at this same event, we brought Karen and Sebastian (from dragon age). Karen had an orgy at a nightclub with Sebastian a little while ago. this would all be fine except that Sebastian is in a relationship with Bethany 😳.. well Karen tried to flirt w Sebastian some more but he wasn't having it for some reason, and then we looked over and saw Bethany.. she saw them flirt and got so upset.

I switched to Bethany and made her confront him at his house, and he basically said that they only flirted and there was nothing else going on. pal you had a public orgy with men and women and multiple people took photos. I saw your dick on twitter. but she accepted that, forgave him and had sex with him 🙄

and then last night. switched back to the Morgan household. it was the day before valentine's day. I made Isaac join the renegades club with the intention of him taking it over. in the club he meets Wolfgang (who I changed to be a teen instead of young adult) and they have something a little gay going on. this is Isaacs gay experimentation (which doesnt last bc he's straight) but Wolfgang will fall deeply in love with Isaac. but anyway with all my editing in cas, the game glitches and the club meeting ends. Isaac is already at the pool so he decides to invite his gf nanami

nanami shows up. and she's pregnant. remember how I couldn't get the Marstons to conceive after making them fuck nonstop? and then Isaac MESSED AROUND w her in a bush and she got pregnant. whaddahel. she's actually excited to be pregnant and have a child, but her single mother is FURIOUS at her. Isaac gives her money to pay for her abortion, and she's equally happy to not be pregnant. then the next day (valentine's day) he takes her out on a date and it's all nice and their relationship is mostly unchanged. somehow. and Arthur takes Charles out on a valentine's "date" where they fucknasty in the woods right by the carpark entrance on a picnic bench

I think that's it. what a couple of days huh

[catb-fics]

Realised I didn’t follow up after the I hate men anon I sent haha but deffo got worse so imma just rant a little here haha💀

Basically been seeing this guy & we had a really great date but was trying to plan to see each other again and seemed like something always happened when we tried but we would message ALL the time. He was always the one saying he wanted to go out on a date if I said let’s just be casual about it but then it went to shit again last week. His mate basically told me he overthinks things and gets in his head so wouldn’t want anything serious but idk why he couldn’t just tell me that but big yikes cause he was telling me they’re out for his bday weekend so I should come to the club and surprise him for a ‘birthday treat’ which is all well and good but basically his mates just invited me to come shag him 🥴🥴🥴🥴 like also he was telling me that it’s this weekend of nothing like wtf????

Hold up are you sure some of its not his mates interfering here as it sounds like they might be! I mean we all know what lads are like when they get together! Some lads act sooo different when they’re with mates, like my bf sometimes regresses to a 14 year old lad talking to his mates (well a few in particular) I’m like wtf!!! But he’s so sweet and considerate normally.

And I’m a bit confused though like did he make the ‘birthday treat’ comment or his mates? And did I really read it right that he said it was all or nothing that you came to meet him on their night out? As if he did I’d be telling him to fuck right off giving you an ultimatum like that 😭😭😭

Anyway I might have got it wrong but sorry to hear things are going to shit. Has he used up all his chances or are you gonna see him again?

If you are maybe try and arrange a date just you two to spend some quality time together to see how he is and how you feel about him then?

And rant away as much as you like lovely! Xxx

[yagamisdiary]

amara i got this friend who i've been close to for 8 fuckin years and recently, idk... i noticed her behavior would change around my bf. like her voice would turn more high pitched, she'd fix her hair and shit, y'know, things like that.

i remember for my bday a couple of months ago she told me to wear this dress that was literally 10x blander than hers. it looked like a paper bag and trust me, ik her taste is sm better than that. meanwhile she wore a glamorous ass dress w sequins and shitthat mind you, I GAVE HER!! and this may be coincidental lol but a few days ago me and my bf were talkin bout our fave colors and she was in the room. and the dress she wore happened to be that color.

and now every time my bf comes to our apartment she literally sprawls her legs around him and hugs him and my bf looks at me hella uncomfortable and i've told her to stop, but idk. i mean ofc we hug our guy friends and shit but like she fuckin shoves her nose in his neck like bitch?!?!

she used to go out often and do god knows what, but ever since i've started dating my bf she stays at the apptmt and would casually ask me if he's gonna come and if i said yes, after 5 or so mins she'd go into her room and come out dressed up n shit and sure like you do you but why do you suddenly wanna look pretty?!

it's so sketchy cuz she hasn't done this for any of my other bfs. in fact in the past, she set me up with them and would be hella supportive but i've never ever got this vibe from her. idk if she likes my bf or sumn now. i remember we liked the same guy in like middle school (which i also dated later in high school) and she promised to suppress her feelings and did, so we never had a prob.

the thing that was my last straw was that we were out in a club w our friendgrps so it was a huge gang. my bf wasn't there and went to the bathroom but idk if she noticed that cuz my bf's friends were still there. but this bitch starts shaming me when she's drunk, talking about shit like my dr*g addiction and how i was into anime and shit like that. it got me pissed fr but she apologized. but yk what she said? "this bitch couldn't go on a single day without adderall i tell ya" and literally slapped her knee and cackled while sayin it, that goofy mf. oh and my fave "yk how many nights she'd cry in high school cuz her mom was an ass?"

we live together and have been close for sm yrs and i don't wanna drop her cuz of a man but i also love my bf. i'm so fuckin conflicted. he told me to drop her but like, we've been hella tight. even applied to the same college n shit, got the same friend grp. and it sucks!! maybe she's always been this fake ass bitch, but if i drop her i feel like i'd hate the fact that my entire friendship was a fuckin lie and wud just feel empty. shit sucks bro

mmm i’m sorry but that doesn’t sound like your friend. beside the whol bf thing, which btw, is WEIRD AS FUCK! the whole embarrassing you in front of others and exploiting your past and tramua etc is so fucked up. if she was your friend, she wouldn’t be throwing that stuff in your face and ESPECIALLY not telling other ppl about it to make u look stupid and because she thinks it’s funny

and the bf thing, that girl likes him 💀 there’s no other way around it. i’m sorry but if one of my friends ever did any of those things around one of my partners, i’d be LIVIDDDDDD like you aren’t even tryna hide it atp???? none of my friends hug my bf EVER like if they see my bf they’ll do like a handshake and be like hey what’s up they do NOT hug him nor do i hug their bfs because HELLO BOUNDARIES?????

[ruinedbylanadelrey]

the morning after debrief: (personal life below cut):

last night i went out with my best friend (let's call her Ken) and our friend. I was sitting in my bed planning out KYH and Lovestruck, being a diligent writer then my friend Star (that's what i'll call her) calls me at 6pm, telling me how she just got dumped by her ugly (now ex) bf. I was like oh hell no, we are going out!! The groupchat is formed. this is whole new group to go out with. so i get ready and start think about how my ex boyfriend hasn't texted me since tuesday. last night was to make our 3 ex boyfriends jealous. I go pick up drinks to pregame and still thinking about my ex (naming him Jay). i get to Star's apartment before Ken got there. me and star update each other since it's been months since we hungout. i tell her about Jay, like everything about our history, updated her how i slept with my friend and i'm kinda in the talking stage with a guy in an open relationship. she tells me everything with he ugly bf, and how she's making her new roster of hoes. Ken gets there and she's really excited to go out. I declare we all need pictures because oh my god we are so hot. I was the first one to go and my pics came out so good. (here they are, shameless insta-promo). i can't shut tf up about Jay and how much i wanted to see him again. everyone telling me to just text him. and i always deny that anyone wants to see me

we get an uber to the first club, it was dead for a friday night, Ken goes home because she had work in the morning. Star and I go to another bar, I am drunk at this point and so is star. we order a round of drinks. then the bartenders start pouring shots into people's mouths, i do the shot. and then they brought out champagne and started pouring it into my mouth, it was actually reallly good. star and i are talking about boys and then show her Jay and our texts. She takes my phone and sends a text for me. Now even a second goes by and he says "just got home you should head over" i look at star and show her the texts. and she's like oh we getting you over there. i start to sober myself up in the bathroom, and drinking a vitamin water. we get an uber back the apartment and star is texting one of her hoes to come over, i freshened up before heading downtown to Jay's.

i show up at his door, knock, the door swings open to him. we both say 'hey', he pulls me through the door and pushes me against the wall as soon as i stepped through the threshold. it was so hungry and oh my goddddd i swore that i was getting drunk again but off of him. he smells soooo goood, and he's a personal trainer ;) so he picks me up and takes me to his room. he sets me on the bed, and just looks at me. I could feel myself blush. "are you instagram posts about me?" jay was smirking, still just raking his eyes over my body. i panic for a sec and quickly lie and say that i'm just hopeless romantic and i just like love. he buys it for now. we have sex, both of us tired and talk until we fall asleep.

he helds me in his arms the whole night, i laid there for about 2 hours and just looked at his face, remembering how he used to look when we were younger. i get hit with feelings that i am trying to suppress, because i'm trying to be causal with him. trying not to scare him away. i fall sleep eventually, listening to him breath and snore just a little. he's pulling me in closer anytime he moves in his sleep.

i wake up to him kissing my neck, and caressing my legs. no words spoken when we both start making out and having a good session of morning sex, we lay in bed for hours just talking, i think my favorite conversation we had was talking about sleeping with friends exes. he was like "techincally that what we are doing," refering to my two exboyfriends that he was friends with, and how he's two of my friends ex's too. then i said "well and we are two exes seeing each other", i tell him how my friends know about him, he was like "you talk about me?" with a smile on his face, and then having sex until we both had to get ready for our days. I had to go home and get ready to see my friends for a debrief. he had to go visit his dad and go workout.

[no-vamos]

Hiya guys

I’m confused and vaguely upset unfortunately

I have no actual proof that CB likes me back or likes me at all (not platonically, my bsf reassures me that we’re at least friends I suppose)

unfortunately for me i keep romanticizing him and hoping for interactions that could lead to something more

and they just don’t happen

and then i’m sad

but i’m trying to think of the good interactions

bc it’s not like i didn’t interact with him at all

what didn’t happen were interactions that he initiated

and that kinda hurts ngl

i mean he responded when i asked him questions and stuff

but nothing he said to me first without me prompting anything

so basically what happened today was it was an all day robotics day

which meant all the robotics kids got to skip all their classes and work on robotics projects in the shop (bc they’re all super behind)

i am not a robotics girlie, but he is and so are some of my friends

however i have 1 actually study hall and then a longish lunch period and then my last class of the day was an unofficial study hall bc my teacher left early bc she was feeling unwell

so i spent all three of those periods in the shop

originally i was just with my friends

i eventually migrated over to where CB was working at

there were other people there too so I also talked to them

but he’s just so

observant

he watches me with such intensity idk

there was this one moment where I forget what I said but he like half smiled and then some guys next to us ask him a question and his face dropped

and for some reason that made me giddy inside a bit

what made me particularly sad was I had anticipated him talking to me during art club bc he did last time i was out in the hallway working

but there were a lot more people in the hall today so he didn’t come over to me

i went over to him at one point but it was more interaction with a group of people that included him rather than 1 on 1

during my 1st block i made fun of the way my bsf bf gives me the stink eye whenever i vaguely refer or interact with CB

i think more out of exasperation with me rather than general concern for CB but idk

there’s also the whole, we’re going to be working on a sermon together with our youth pastor and we’re currently trying to organize a time to discuss the details and the entire time my brain is going “omg this is basically a date wtfffff” when no the fuck it isn’t but idk

i’ve decided tho that i’m not going to anticipate any more reactions

i’m not going to go out of my way to interact with him

if he’s where i am then i’ll interact

but i want him to approach me

mostly so i reassure myself i’m not going insane and completely hallucinating interactions that aren’t there

but idk i just want a sign

a sign i’m not going crazy and i’m not going to get hurt

i probably still will tho

oh what also sucks is that i’m missing my schools homecoming semi formal

i for some reason was under the impression that i would be home in time from a trip to still attend

like i turned in my permission form and everything

but nope

my flight is that night not the night prior

so i’m missing it

this is not CB related bc i can most definitely assure you he would not be there

he’s not really a people person

but i was really looking forward to this event to hang out with friends and get dressed up and the like

but idk my emotions are wack and i haven’t slept well all week so i’m kinda sad and drained and life is just a lot rn

[comphet-critical]

What if i had sex with like four guys (only piv with one, but gave oral/handjobs or tried to with the others (i'm bad at it lmaoo)) but was drunk?? I mean, i wanted it to happen, and i remember even feeling dissapointed when they didn't have condoms with them so we couldn't do piv, but maybe it was just bc i was drunk and wasn't fully realizing what was going to happen?? As you can imagine, all four guys were strangers i met at the pub. Next day i didn't feel repulsed but i certainly didn't wanna know anything about these guys and even felt anxious when one of them kept on texting me (i had to block him)

Also, i had sex with one guy who i met on tinder (it was on our third date, and we had been talking for two months i think) back in march/april of last year, being fully sober and while it wasn't really pleasent bc he was too big for me and i was kind of awkward i didn't feel repulsed but when it ended and we went to sleep i felt super anxious about it bc i didn't really enjoy it either and couldn't really sleep :/

i went home the next day and we even had a fourth date and had a good time hanging out but i remember him implying that we could go to his home to hook up again and i excused myself saying that it was a really nice day outside and that we should enjoy it. Eventually, we kind of planed a 5th date in his house to watch a sport that we both liked but i felt anxious about it (bc i knew that he would try to have sex again) and i declined and eventually we stopped talking.

Apart from all of this, i think i've had crushes on boys/men, but i'm not really sure anymore, and i think that sometimes it was more wistful thinking or even admiration in the case of the celebrity ones??? But from time to time i find a guy attractive (mostly when i'm kind of buzzed but not always) and i don't know what to believe because granted my experiences i don't know if i would enjoy being sexual with him or not.

Like, last time, i was hanging with two of my friends and some friends of them and while we were drinking at my friend's house, one of them caught my eye and i kind of felt attracted to him and this only intessified when we went to the club and i tried to dance with him (and got succesful lol). I remember feeling jealous when he would dance with the other two girls in our group and happy when he started to dance with me. Also, i felt warm and comfortable with him touching me and i felt like i was into it. At some point i tried to make out with him but he let me know that he wasn't interested and just liked dancing with girls because of the sensuality or whatever (also i think he told me he was gay but then told another girl he had a girlfriend so to this day i don't know lmaoo) and so nothing happened and eventually we went home and i was very embarrassed the next day bc i probs made him uncomfortable. Also, when we were saying our goodbyes i told our mutual friend that i wanted her to let me know when he was coming on our next night out and apparently i was very insistent over it.

Aaaaaaand i could give other examples of my experiences with men, but i'm already sorry i made you read this. But basically there's been men in which i have had some interest/crush but i could never really test it because i never tried or because they weren't interested. On the other hand, because of this sometimes i've settled for guys that wanted me and entertained them for the night, a few days (twice at a summer camp lmao), and with the tinder guy i guess for a month, before i got tired/anxious (the ones i made out while on a night out were more or less fun, mostly initiated by them. The only time i really initiated and felt like i wanted to know about the guy the next day i forgot to get his number and our mutual friend said he wasn't attending classes anymore lmao).

And lastly (bestie i swear i'm sorry for putting you through this) i kinda had two boyfriends when i was like 8 and 12 (so not really bf but you get it) and the first one didn't really like me and when he told me i remember crying and feeling upset about it and the other one apparenlty didn't like me either (we actually dated for like 3 months even if we didn't see each other that much but we kissed and i didn't feel repulsed nor anxious, which it's interesting i guess, but also it didn't feel special, just fine i guess) and lets say i was dramatic and made a scene in front of mutual friends and people made fun of me for several years which affected me and made me really insecure (among other things but whatever).

Sooo, i know you are not a psychologist (i should talk to this to a therapist, i know) but what do you think about my experiences?? I know i'm attracted to girls but figuring out how i feel about boys is so difficult and makes me stressed and sometimes i think it even consumes me?? Almost as it was a puzzle and i needed to me make sense of all the pieces and i can't rest till i figure it out. Btw, i'm a 23 y/o and at some point i thought of my self as a lesbian due to some of these expierences but then i've met a guy that caught my eye or that i kind of felt attracted to (like the one i danced with) and i don't know what to think. Anyway, sorry for all of this, in a way i just needed to vent because it's all to much.

you’re bisexual

[bethsteaclub]

Sexcation failed?

By popular demand I’m finally writing another blog post after something like 4 years? Where has the time gone!? A large part of why I haven’t been posting is being too lazy to post but also simply having too much to post about. Even back when I was posting here I had many things I knew I had to write about but new things kept happening on top of all that and things kind of got away from me. Yet here I am again trying to hop back on the horse ;)

Btw I won’t be editing this too closely so excuse me if I trip here and there. It’s the only way I’ll get these out.

I went to Mexico last summer (2022) with my boyfriend. It was a big trip for us which we planed out for a good year in advance. It was our baecation/sexcation which is a big deal for us since me and my bf aren’t super sexual out of the bedroom. We have great sex and I love him a lot but he really doesn’t know me. To him I’m a very wholesome, innocent, and nerdy person. Which I know some of you who know me are laughing at :D. I had a friend of mine call me a wholesome bimbo. I look and dress like a nice normal girl but really there’s a chance I had sex with at least 3 of the guys around us at some point. I also dress like a slut whenever I get the chance to.

This trips was me getting a chance to show my slutty side to him a little and we made it clear to each other that was the goal. No boring swimsuits with a t-shirt over it. Sex all day at the resort. He even called it “Honeymoon Sex”. Which is why I thought this is it. Between all that and this being a trip to a very nice romantic resort which we have been planing for a long time. I was sure he was going to ask me to marry him on this trip. I was very excited and looking forward to it.

I wanted to be married with kids by the time I was 25. But due to my life style and other things that never happened. I’m 30 now and I was 29 when I went on this trip so I saw it as it all finally coming together. As some of you might be able to figure out already…this is not what ended up happening.

We were going to stay for 2 weeks but due to work issues with my bf I was going to get there 3 days before him. I decided to treat this as my last few days of being a slut before I get asked to marry him. Just cut loose and go crazy. I knew if he was going to ask me to marry him it would be the day he lands because we were going to have a really nice dinner that night which he booked himself and played up as a big deal.

I packed my bags like a total slut. Other than my toiletries and essentials, I packed 3 bikinis, 2 shorts, 2 tops, and 2 butt plugs. One of which I was wearing there. I had room to spare in my small backpack. Like always fate decided to put me in front of a horny older man. He was my seat mate on the plane and I got in a fun mile high club in with him. He was very excited to see the butt plug I was wearing. :) It was a great start to the trip. Once I landed I got myself a cab to my resort. I made sure to give my driver some lip service as a tip before heading into my resort. Once I got to my room I showered, put on my bikini on and head out to the beach.

I was smart about who I would hook up with during these 3 days alone. I made sure to ask them when they were leaving the resort making sure they would be gone before or at least a day or two tops around when my bf arrives. Which I very quickly did not stick to. And so began the humping. Guests, waiters, room service. Tips for everyone. The morning of the second day I met an older man who was celebrating his 2nd divorce and was splurging on this trip. Lucky for me he was leaving the morning after my bf arrives so we hit it off. He was telling stranger I was his slutty daughter and getting them to hook up with me. To other he was saying I was his young trophy wife. It was a great 2 days.

Then my bf arrived. I was very satisfied and happy to see him. Ready to start my new life with him while saying good bye to my past life (for the most part lol). We had a great morning. I had sex with him the moment we got into our room. We went to the beach right after and I pretended to discover a very convenient spot for us to have sex there. (A spot I put to great use the 3 days prior). :P We were having a great time. Then came the dinner and I was so nervous and excited. I was so ready for everything! The restaurant was outside of our resort so we had to drive there. It was a beautiful, romantic restaurant.

We sit down and we order and things are going great. I’m sitting there waiting for it to happen at any minute. He goes to the washroom and I think OMG he’s going to take a knee and ask me when he comes back! But he comes back and sits down like nothing. Yet I’m still waiting. Then we finish eating and he asks for the bill. Yet I’m still waiting. It didn’t hit me until the car ride back that this might not be happening. But even then I thought, “He’s going to ask me in the room or take me somewhere at the resort.” We get back to our room and I ask him if he wants to hangout around the resort. He tells me he wants to have sex and hangout in bed.

To say I was upset at that would be an understatement. I kept my cool and asked him if he is considering marriage any time soon. He told me “I don’t really think I want to get married and if I do it probably won’t be for another 5 years.” To which I lost it. We had the biggest fight we ever had and I decided I was going to break up with him. I went straight to my new friend I made and had hate sex with him the whole night and walked him to the lobby the next morning. He was very sympathetic to my situation and left me in a sorrowful note.

I went back to my room and he wasn’t there. I changed into a bikini and hit the beach and spent most of the morning in a rage fuelled sex romp with everyone who was willing. Ended up in 3 different rooms  by 1pm before heading back to mine to clean up change and get something to eat. When I got back my bf was still there and we didn’t have much to say to each other. He asked me where I was all night and I told him “the beach”. I then went off on my own to get lunch. After lunch I ran into him where he told me we have a snorkelling trip the next day. Which I thought was a good thing because I decided to have sex with the instructor and maybe some of the people on our bus there.

The next day I put on one of my bikinis and nothing else to go on the day trip. I knew he was not happy about that. He’s ok with it at the resort but leaving the resort like that was not something he was comfortable with but he knew well enough to not say anything. We did not sit together on the bus. I was lucky enough to sit further back with 2 much older men. I sat next to an older guy but not much older than me. Would guys 35 and the other 2 over 45. I hit it off with the 3 of the fast and got to flirting. Told them my bf was on the trip too and that were fighting. How I’m going to break up with him when we get back home. I then got to work. Sucking and fucking all hunched over so my bf can’t see if he looked back.

I got 2 loads from them each before we got to our destination. One of the older guys had been on the trip before and said they split the groups up into 4 to 6 people per boat. So we agreed to be on the same boat with each other. One of them also agreed to take my bf to another boat if it seems like he wants to join ours. Luckily he didn’t need to do that. The 4 of us got on our own boat. I was now a little my shy between the bus and the boat. Kind of snapped back to where I was. There was also a guide and a captain but my 3 new friends helped me feel more comfortable. By the time the boat motor was on and we were hitting the waves I had my bikini bottoms to the side humping away, bikini top pulled down for the sun and the breeze and my mouth cleaning our guides cock which was salty from the salt water. It was an amazing time. I even forgot about my bf and my anger towards him for a little bit.

My bf was not happy with me when we got back. Told me it’s not safe for me to be alone on a boat with that many guys dressed the way I was. If he only knew everything we did. Yet we did forgive each other a little by this point. I stayed in our room that night because of that…and well having been swimming and gang banged on a boat all day. I was a little tired to go to one of my resort fuck buddies rooms that night. The next morning at breakfast is when I found out I had become an urban legend at our resort. Someone me and my bf were chatting with telling us there’s this pale slutty women going around the resort getting gang banged. I pretended to be shocked with my bf while actually feeling very proud of myself. By the way this isn’t the first time my adventures have made me into an urban legend. (A blog post for another time ;P).

My bf told me after to be carful and not go off alone since I’m pale too. He isn’t oblivious, I’m just very good at hiding my slutty side from people who I don’t want knowing about it. To my bf the person they are talking about being me is basically impossible. There is just no conceivable way it could be me. This gives me a lot of cover in general but especially for this trip. At this point I had still planed to break up with him when we got back home but we were on better terms at the resort. I ended up canceling all my out of resort trips letting him go on them alone. I spent most of my time missing him and working on my urban legend at the resort.

About 3  days later I ended up running into our room neighbour….an older man who was there with another friend of his in another room. These 2 really gave me the business on this trip. These 2 also lead me to the closest I ever got to being caught by my bf in my life. As the trip went on I still tried to be smart about things but cared less and less if my bf knew found out about me. This peaked one day I was in our neighbours room with his friend and 3 others. We were drunk, violently horny, and trashing the room having sex. The tv was face down on the ground, the mattress was flipped, and they were fucking my ass with a beer bottle full of beer as I butt chugged it. When the bottle was emptied they pulled it out and replaced it with a cock and then proceeded to throw and shatter the beer bottle against one wall while I got thrown and slammed against the other wall. They had me every which way possible. Eventually opening the front door and doing it with me in the hallway, and even on balcony. I was in pure ecstasy and loving every second of it.

It eventually started to die down and everyone left except the owner of the room and me. I was facedown on the ground with my bottom half in the room and my top half on the balcony. I then feel him drag me into the room by my foot and continue to have sex with me. I thought to myself this isn’t such a bad way to live. About 40 mins later he went to bed and I got dressed exited the room turned left and entered me and my bfs room to see my bf. I was too shocked to speak and couldn’t understand his tone because he was yelling. I realized he wasn’t yelling at me in anger but he was excited to tell me the urban legend girl was having sex in the room next to our and that I just missed her. It took me a second or two to piece it all together.

He told me he was there for about 2 hours and heard them fucking them whole time. How he could hear like 8 guys in there with her* (there were 5 guys). :) And that they were going crazy in there. Supposedly she left about an hour before I got in which is when everyone finished up and left me alone with our room neighbour. Me and the neighbour weren’t loud when we were alone so my bf assumed everyone left or that the neighbour was there alone. Yes, I am aware I got away with it hear on sheer dumb luck. I pretended to be shocked by all of it, asked a lot of random questions and acted like it was a shame I missed it. “Crazy how close she was huh?” I then passed out in bed from exhaustion of the whole day.

The next morning I was a little more anxious and carful after how things went the day prior. But I spent the rest of the trip pretty much doing the same thing. :D When we got back home I didn’t end up breaking up with my bf. I decided to give him the year to ask me to marry him. If he doesn’t then I break up with him. Aside from that I’m going to do my own thing and not think about him. I have one foot out the door now when it comes to me and him and I am enjoying things. The summer following this trip was a fruitful one. Easily the most sexually active summer of my life…or should I say so far? ;) It was also the last summer in my 20s. I turned 30 in December so I wanted to send off my 20s with a bang and ended up sending it off with quite a few bangs.

Looking back on this trip I get many mixed feelings. Some of it was amazing, and some of it was very sad. It was a trip I was forced to realize and accept a lot of things about myself. Over the 2 weeks I realized that this is probably not the person I will end up with and that being a sexual person brings me a lot of joy. 2023 is the year of being a slut. Butt plug in and leather pants on!

I am now going to go and find some dick because I am so horny after writing this!

[thickness-protection-program]

I had a great time reading all these hoe stories and thought I'd contribute 😂

The last time I went to a night club I was wearing a skirt and my then-bf slipped his hand between my thighs while we were dancing together, we got so horny he ended up fucking me against the wall... Bless the dim lights and the loud music, nobody noticed when he came 🙈🙉

I was so drunk I simply put my panties back and got back to dancing, I noticed only hours after that I had jizz all over my skirt 🤦😭

Omg the scandal the drama the risk I'm living for this 😅get that pump then go back to dancing lmao

[and-it-freezes-me]

Little Red Lies - Chapter 1

Or, AUgust 2021 Day 10 - Fake Dating

{Next}

Words: 5,439

[Booked tckts yet? virge wants 2 check u still need 2 places 4 reception dinner]

Trash Rat 22:57

[cant w8 2 meet ur new ~date~]

Trash Rat 22:58

Roman stared at the messages for several long seconds, then groaned.

[Of course I booked tickets. Yes I still need the +1 seat.]

Roman 23:04

[cant believe u havent even sent a pic or yk a name]

Trash Rat 23:06

[no shame if ur still </3 ovr remy]

Trash Rat 23:06

[even tho its been 2 yrs now]

Trash Rat 23:07

[Of course I’m over remy. You’ll meet my boyfriend when we get there. He’s shy.]

Roman 23:07

Roman seriously considered throwing his phone across the room and booking a plane ticket to Alaska rather than Manhattan. That way, he wouldn’t have to go to his brother’s wedding and admit that he was most definitely single and most definitely not over his ex boyfriend (of seventeen months - two years was an unfair exaggeration).

[u kno virge h8s not knowing whos coming to his wedding right]

Trash Rat 23:10

[I know, I know, I’ll apologise as soon as we get there. He’ll be first to meet my bf, promise.]

Roman 23:11

[book ur fuckin plane tckts ro, I know u didnt do it yet]

Trash Rat 23:11

Roman threw his phone across the room.

It bounced off of his Heathers poster and landed on his desk, which was covered in scripts, textbooks, empty takeout containers, balled up bits of paper, crumpled drinks cans, and pens, and Roman buried his face in his pillow and groaned.

Ten months ago, Roman’s sister had flown down to Los Angeles, dragged Roman out of bed and announced that he was actually Roman’s brother. Almost sooner than Roman had been able to take this in stride, Virgil had added that he was marrying his boyfriend in December and would Roman mind being one of his groomsmen? While Roman was still reeling from the bombshell that was the fact that their gremlin of an elder brother Remus was Virgil’s best man, Virgil had leaned forward and asked if Roman was doing alright because he couldn’t help but notice that his dorm room resembled ‘the result of an explosive going off in a pigsty’.

Roman had blinked dumbly at him, nodded, and then started pressing for details about Virgil’s wedding. Eventually, his brother had promised that he’d get Patton, his fiance, to call Roman to discuss every detail, from location to napkin frills, and Roman felt that he had managed to avoid the topic of how he was doing.

When he and Remy had first broken up, midway through last July, Roman had gone to pieces. He had spent the end of the summer holiday between his first and second years locked in his room and listening to the same few songs on loop until Virgil, who was three years older and had been packing his things to move into his new apartment, had put his fist through the wall between their rooms. Then Roman had put his headphones on. It wasn’t Virgil’s fault that he was too uncivilised to appreciate the wonders of ‘Michael In The Bathroom’, ‘Someone You Loved’, or ‘Impossible’, after all.

Then Roman had gone back to university, where he had tried to drown himself in reading for his degree, and instead ended up sleeping through lectures after all-night crying sessions. He had tried to submerge himself in his essays and instead ended up daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend in study sessions. He had tried to get involved in theatre productions, but every audition had gone sour, and he often ended up thinking about the few times he and Remy had met up over the previous year rather than learning his lines.

Everyone had said that long distance relationships would be hard, but Roman, the romantic fool that he was, had insisted that they could do it.

They couldn’t.

Eight months ago, nine months after the two of them had broken up, two months after Virgil had announced his wedding plans, Remus and his partner had flown into Los Angeles and tried to stage an intervention. This had involved Remus trying to seduce the campus security guard and almost getting reported to the police (Roman had always insisted that his mustache only made him look sketchy), followed by Janus sneaking past the pair of them and into the building. Remus had somehow managed to join him moments later, and the two of them had somehow made their way up to Roman’s floor without alerting anyone else of their presence.

Roman had been woken by a furious hammering at his bedroom door at a little after four in the morning, and had to wade through a mess of papers and laundry to find that the two of them had knocked on every single door on his corridor, unable to remember which was his. He had not been popular with his dormmates the next day.

Their intervention had involved sitting on Roman’s bed and sharing the leftover pizza that had been on Roman’s desk for the last three days, and telling him to wash the dirty clothes all over his floor. Then they had tried to persuade him to accompany them to a bar to hook him up with somebody, and Roman had quickly concluded that the pair was somewhat drunk.

He had vehemently refused, and when Janus had eventually rolled onto his back, dark hair dangling off the edge of the bed and onto the sticky patch of carpet that Roman had spilled soda on three weeks ago, he practically whined that Roman was being very difficult when all they were doing was trying to help him.

“Trying to help me? You’ve disturbed the people I live with at fuck-o’clock in the morning! I have class tomorrow!” Roman was sat at his desk chair, trying very hard to ignore the stack of textbooks he was supposed to have read and hadn’t.

Remus rested a hand on Janus’ hip to stop him from rolling off the bed, and raised a lazy eyebrow at him. “Cut the bullshit, little bro. We all know you haven’t been to class in… How long, Jan?”

“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Janus sing-songed.

“How the fuck do you know that?” It sounded about right, anyway, and Roman had a feeling that if he denied it this would just take even longer. He spun around in his chair and picked up a pen from his desk. “It’s my business if I don’t go to class.”

“Called my sister. Jannie takes all your classes, you know…” There was the sound of shifting fabric, and when Roman glanced back, Janus was sitting up and tucked under Remus’ arm again, looking very much as though Remus had just placed him there.

“You’re right, Ro. It’s not my business if you’re not going to class.” One of Remus’ hands trailed slowly up and down Janus’ arm, so casually Roman could almost believe that his brother didn’t realise he was doing it. “But it is my business that my little brother isn’t taking care of himself anymore. You haven’t answered my calls since before winter break. You obviously haven’t been eating healthily - this pizza tastes like you fished it out of the garbage, by the way, and I would know - and you look as though you haven’t seen the sunlight since last July.”

The assessment wasn’t quite fair. Roman might have been skipping classes, but it wasn’t as though he had just been lying in his room and wasting away! “I went to the gym last week. And I auditioned for the musical in March. I’m fine, Remus! Can I go to bed now?”

“No! We’re going to a club!”

Janus had nodded enthusiastically at Remus’ words, then rested his head on his partner’s shoulder as Roman shook his head slowly. “I don’t want to go to a club. I want to go to bed. I have class tomorrow.”

“Nope.” Remus’ hand rose to tangle absently in Janus’ hair. “We’re going to a club, and you’re gonna find some hottie to fuck all the yearning for Remy right out of you. Then you’ll feel much better!”

“You’re pulling my ha-”

“Fuck no. We’re not doing that.” Roman pressed his palms into his eyes, then stood up and jerked his door open. “Can you go now?”

“Give me one good reason why you getting laid is a bad thing right now, Ro, and we’ll leave.” Roman had gotten as far as opening his mouth before Remus interrupted. “See? You can’t. You need to move on, man. Clinging to Remy is clearly unh-”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“-ealthy, and- What?”

Maybe it was because it was four in the morning. Maybe it was because Roman hadn’t been sleeping well anyway, and Remus had managed to step on the last of his fraying nerves. Maybe it was just because he wished it was true.

“I have a boyfriend,” Roman repeated, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the obvious shock on Janus’ usually impassive face. “Three months. Met just after term started. It’s pretty serious, actually.”

“Bullshit.” Remus looked half impressed.

Now it was irritation that flickered through Roman. Was it really so unbelievable that he could have found somebody else? “It’s not.”

“You fucked yet?”

“Remus…” There was a warning note in Janus’ voice, and Remus sighed.

“None of my business. Got it. Do we get to meet him?”

“He’s shy.”

“Which is another way of saying he doesn’t exist.”

“Asshole. It’s another way of saying that it’s four in the fucking morning and he’s asleep. You’ll meet him at the wedding, anyway - I’m going to ask him to be my plus one when Patton sends out the RSVP date.” The words had been out of his mouth before he had had time to regret them, and Roman had spent the last eight months trying to sidestep questions about his non-existent boyfriend.

He had later found out that Remus and Janus hadn’t really come down to see him. They had gone to Los Angeles to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary and decided they might drop in while in the area. (Just because they had eloped rather than holding a big party, Janus had commented idly, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate it).

But now it was December, and Roman was partner-less and running out of excuses. His lie had gotten out of control, and he had ended up asking Patton and Virgil to include his partner in the guest numbers. He had invented dates they had been on for his mother when she had asked, and he insisted that his boyfriend was shy and had practically no internet presence anyway, so knowing his name wouldn’t help anybody.

He could just say that the two of them had broken up and go home alone, of course.

But that would mean disrupting the meticulous wedding seating plan Virgil and Patton had been making for months.

Besides, Roman was fairly certain that nobody in his family really believed in his mystery boyfriend, and failure to produce one after months of insisting that they would meet… Well, he didn’t want to open himself to that sort of ridicule.

Of course, it didn’t look as though he had much choice.

He hadn’t managed to make many friends at college.

In his first year, Roman had spent a lot of time trying to keep on top of his schoolwork and working toward the various theatre productions the school had put on; all of his free time he had spent planning dates for when he and Remy finally visited one another, or else video calling his boyfriend. There simply hadn’t been time to make many friends during that.

His second year… Well, Remus had been right. He had spent most of his time in his room, eating junk food, watching sappy romance films, and missing Remy.

So far, he had spent his third year trying to bring his grades back up to something more respectable… And missing Remy.

He knew it was pathetic. It had been almost a year and a half since they had broken up, and he still missed being able to call someone to talk about nothing at all at two in the morning, missed planning extravagant dates, missed the feel of hands in his hair and lips on his.

At least his floor was cleaner than it had been last year. And he had eaten slightly less fast food this semester than the previous one.

Roman’s phone chimed again. With a frustrated groan, he made his way over to his desk.

[Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!!! <3 <3 <3 !!!]

Pops 23:25

Patton.

[Me too, Padre! I’ll bring some of that fudge from the shop you love!]

Roman 23:26

[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <33333333 Can you get some of the currents+salt? Vee loved it last time + I want to surprise him]

Pops 23:26

[Will do. Looking forward to seeing you too!]

Roman 23:27

Patton would probably be the most understanding if Roman decided to come clean about his lying - but Patton was the worst secret keeper Roman had ever met. He and Virgil had been dating for almost three years, and in that time the thin voice actor had managed to spill every single plot twist in every single show he had watched or acted in. Roman had no doubt that Virgil would know that he was bringing home fudge within the next hour. If he admitted to Patton that he had been lying about having a date for the wedding, Roman would get Patton’s kind - if confused - reassurances, and half an hour later he would get the mixture of mockery and horrible pity that would come with the rest of his family finding out that he still wasn’t over Remy.

Roman let his phone slip through his fingers and land on his desk once more. Three days, and then he’d have to come clean - until then, he could just avoid thinking about it. Collecting the overflowing basket from the corner of the room (he had been putting off doing laundry for a while now), Roman left his room and headed toward the building’s basement laundry room. Term had finished last week and it was almost midnight - he doubted anybody would be down there now. Most people had probably already gone home, or were making the most of the free time to go out rather than spend it doing chores.

The light was off in the basement when he got there, so Roman left it that way as he loaded his clothing into one of the machines.

Moving around in the dark was far more of a Virgil move than a Roman one, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something comforting about the-

“Sweet fucking Shakespeare!” Roman’s hand flew up to cover his eyes as light burst through the small room, quickly followed by the strong smell of coffee.

“Sorry! I was unaware that there would be anybody in here.” As Roman dropped his hand, blinking owlishly in the sudden light, the newcomer made his way over to the machine on the far side of the room from him. “Most people prefer not to fumble around in the dark.”

Remus or Remy would have made some comment about how fumbling around in the dark could be quite fun really. Roman just shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

He had expected the other man to say something; instead, silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of the powder tray being opened, filled, and closed again.

Roman didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen the person in the room next to him only twice so far this term, and only knew his name because the mailroom was organised by room number rather than alphabetically, and the name Roman Prince was right next to Logan Ursa.

Logan looked more tired than he had on either of the other times Roman had seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, the shadows almost deeper than Virgil’s had been at the height of his eyeliner experiments, and the black ponytail that hung halfway to his waist was missing, replaced with what could only be described as a thicket of tangled hair. It looked as though he had been outside even less than Roman had in the past few months: his skin was so pale it seemed to glow under the fluorescent laundry-room lights. There was a steaming mug and a thick book on the lid of the machine beside him, and Roman had the strong feeling that it wasn’t the first coffee Logan had had that evening.

The washing machine Logan had been loading began to rumble, and as the other student straightened up and picked up his book, Roman made himself duck back down to finish his own task.

He’d have to come back to collect his clothing later - Roman suddenly regretted deciding to get this done now, when it meant he would have to return at almost two in the morning, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

“Do you want me to leave the light on?” He was more trying to make conversation than anything else: Logan was perched on one of the machines in the corner, nose already buried in what Roman could now see was a heavy medical textbook.

“Obviously.” 

Yeah, he probably should have guessed that.

-

Logan was still in the laundry room when Roman returned to collect his clothing two hours later. He was still sat on the same machine, although now he was speaking into his phone in what sounded like rapid Italian. (It definitely wasn’t Spanish: Roman was almost fluent in Spanish). (The languages were similar, but although he could guess at a few words, he had no idea what was going on). (Not that he was eavesdropping, of course). Logan’s hair was even messier than it had been before, and out of the corner of his eye Roman caught him jerking his free hand through it once or twice.

Roman pulled his now-warm and dry clothing from the machine and dumped it into his laundry basket, doing his best to ignore the way Logan was practically shouting behind him, but couldn’t stop himself from startling at the wordless, frustrated yell that came from the taller man a few minutes later. He was halfway to the door, but paused and glanced at Logan, who was stuffing his phone angrily into the oversized hoodie he was wearing.

“Everything okay over there?”

“Family stuff,” came the snappish response. Roman watched for a few seconds as Logan knelt in front of his own machine and began jerking clothing from it, folding pants as though he wished he were ripping them to pieces instead, then throwing several dark shirts over his shoulder and stalking over to one of the ironing stations.

“Pretty loud family stuff,” Roman commented, then wondered why he was bothering. It had been clear from his first meeting with Logan that the other student wasn’t there to make friends: Roman had been carrying a large cardboard box into his room the day he had moved in, and bumped into him in the hallway. Logan had looked him up and down, said something like, “Keep the volume down. I’m here to work,” and marched past him as though Roman were no more interesting than a hat stand.

Sure enough, Logan didn’t turn to face him, instead ironing a shirt in a manner that strongly hinted that he wanted to make it beg for mercy. “None of your business family stuff.”

“Are you-”

“None. Of your. Business.” This time, Logan actually did glance over his shoulder, and fixed Roman with a scowl that suggested that if he didn’t drop it, his face was going to be the next thing under the iron.

Roman left quickly. He had done his best to be friendly, and if Logan wasn’t interested, that was his problem. He didn’t seem like the sort of person Roman would really want to be friends with anyway.

Logan’s haggard expression lingered in his mind as he made his way back up to his dorm room and began stuffing his now-clean clothes into his wardrobe. He should probably start packing - his suitcase was sitting open and empty against one wall - but he had plenty of time.

Besides, he was exhausted.

Roman had changed into a pair of sweatpants and gotten into bed by the time he heard the door to the room next to his slam shut. Clearly, Logan was still annoyed by whatever ‘family stuff’ had had him first yelling into his phone and then taking his frustration out on his laundry and somebody trying to be friendly.

How long could Logan hold a grudge? Was he the kind of person who would calm down after a couple of hours of sleep, or would whatever he had been arguing about be hanging over him for the next week or so? That would make the winter break uncomfortable…

Or maybe he wasn’t going home. He had looked pretty invested in the textbook he had been studying earlier, despite it being almost midnight and no longer termtime. Maybe Logan was going to stay in the dorms over the winter break and use the hours without lectures for private study.

That sounded like a lonely way to spend the next three weeks.

The idea struck Roman suddenly, and he sat bolt upright in bed, the kind of elation that only comes with golden inspiration coursing through him. He would persuade Logan to come back home with him for the holidays! If Janus took it to mind to ask Janine about him, she’d be able to verify that Logan didn’t socialise much; all he would have to do would be show up briefly for the wedding, and he could spend the remainder of the holiday studying all he wanted, away from ‘family stuff’!

He would ask Logan the following morning, and when he agreed, Roman would book the plane tickets home - he’d pay, of course. Or rather, he’d use the money his mother had sent him so that he could bring his fictional boyfriend home. Either way, Logan wouldn’t have to spend any money himself!

Laying back down, Roman pulled his thin blanket back up to his neck and rolled onto his side, satisfaction warming him more thoroughly than any hot drink could.

This was the best idea he’d ever had.

-

“That is the worst idea I have ever heard.” Logan glanced into the hallway over Roman’s shoulder as though expecting an audience for a practical joke. “I cannot believe you have wasted my time listening to you.”

“Is… That a maybe?” Roman tilted his head and gave Logan his best puppy eyes.

Alas, Logan’s heart must have been made of stone. “No.” He made to slam the door.

Well, Roman couldn’t have that. It had been difficult enough to get Logan to even open the door in the first place, and harder still to get him to listen beyond the initial “I need you to do me a huge favour, okay, but it works out for you too.” In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have led with that. But then he had explained, and for some reason Logan was still trying to close the door on him.

“Ow!”

“That was entirely your fault.”

“You just slammed the door on my foot!”

“You did put your foot there after I had begun closing the door. My point stands.”

Technically, Logan was correct, but Roman wasn’t there to quibble over technicalities. “You got the part where I’d pay for your flights, right? All you have to do is show up for one day in something resembling formalwear, and in return you get rent free accommodation and food all holiday! Plus company!”

“I have too much to do to pretend to be your boyfriend for three weeks for no reason. Find somebody else.” Logan made to close the door again, and this time Roman caught it with his hand.

“There is nobody else!” Roman was aware that he was beginning to sound desperate. “You’re like, the only person I know!”

“That sounds like your personal problem, not mine.” Several strands of hair had fallen from the impressive tangle around Logan’s ears and into his face, and he blew them out of the way. His breath smelled like coffee - bitter coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose. “Let go of my door.”

“Come on, Logan! What else are you going to be doing this holiday?”

“Studying! I have exams to pass!”

“You can study at my place. You won’t have to pay holiday rent there!”

“I won’t have to pay holiday rent if I go to my mom’s place, either! Let go of my door!”

Roman finally pulled his aching foot out of the way, but didn’t remove his hand from the wood. “You don’t want to go back to your mom’s place, though, do you? The phonecall -”

The glare that Logan sent him could have frozen the insides of a volcano, and his voice was suddenly cold enough to make Roman shiver. “Good day, Roman.” This time, Roman jerked his hand out of the way, and the door snapped shut in his face.

Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to use Logan’s ‘family stuff’ against him. He made a note of that for future reference, then hammered against the door again.

“Please, Logan!”

Silence.

“I’ll be forever in your debt!”

More silence. Maybe Logan would prefer something a little more extravagant?

“I’ll sing of your virtues from the rooftop every night for the rest of the year!”

Nothing.

Okay, maybe that had been a little much. Logan had made it clear that he was there to work and didn’t want to be disturbed in his caffeine fueled study crusades, so something excessive was possibly the wrong way to persuade him to do this.

Oh-

“I’ll pay for your coffee for the rest of the year?”

Roman held his breath and waited.

And waited.

Just when he thought that he had been wrong and that Logan really wasn’t going to be persuaded, the door opened the tiniest of amounts. Logan was still frowning at him, but some of the ice was gone from his expression.

“That’s your dealbreaker? Coffee?”

“I drink a lot of coffee.” A slight deepening in the crease between Logan’s eyes told Roman not to push the subject. “You need a date to a wedding. In return, you pay for my flight there and back, provide accommodation for the duration of the winter vacation, and keep me supplied with coffee for the rest of the year.”

“Well, a wedding, the reception, any pre-wedding parties, and keeping up the act while we’re around other people,” Roman corrected, counting on his fingers. From the irritated twitch of Logan’s left eye, he got the feeling that he hadn’t mentioned the reception or the potential stag night in his initial pitch.

“Blue Moon or Red Planet.”

“What?”

“The coffee. I like Blue Moon or Red Planet coffee. They’re more expensive, so I don’t expect them every time - maybe a ratio of three regular jars to one nice jar.”

Roman blinked. “Uh… Okay.”

Logan nodded once. More hair fell over his eyes. “I’ll draw up a schedule and provide you with estimated projections of my coffee habits for the rest of the year so you can budget accordingly. When do we leave?”

“Um… Monday.” Still reeling from Logan’s sudden and complete 180, Roman cast around for something to say, but the long haired man got there first.

“Monday. That gives us approximately two and a half days to draw boundaries and fabricate enough pictures and stories to give our deceit credibility.” Logan closed his eyes, and Roman realised that he was staring again. He hadn’t expected the other to take this in stride so quickly. “Given that I have work to finish today and you will likely need several hours on Sunday evening to pack… Have you told your family how long we have been romantically involved?”

“Uh, since January. But I told them you were shy, so we don’t have to have any pictures or anything - we can say that all our dates were just pizza and Netflix, and…” He tailed off at the incredulous look on Logan’s face. “What?”

“You expect them to believe that we have been dating for eleven months and you haven’t taken a single photo? Roman, I have listened to you belting the lyrics of more break-up songs than I care to count.” Roman shrugged, and Logan rolled his eyes. “You are quite clearly a romantic. Had we really been dating, the number of pictures you would have taken on whatever extravagance you planned for our six-month anniversary alone would be infinitesimal.”

He had a point.

Roman had already stretched his family’s belief in him to breaking point (and probably well past it) by refusing to share even the smallest thing about his ‘boyfriend’ over the past eleven months; if he didn’t get home on Monday with at least a couple of dozen photos to share, their charade would be over before it could ever really begin. “Right. You’re right. We’ll need to spend the weekend planning, doing a photoshoot - it’ll be fun!”

“You,” Logan started, already retreating, “obviously have a different definition of that word than I do. Eight thirty tomorrow morning, The Roost. Bring a notepad, your phone, and a couple of changes of clothing suitable for various weather conditions.”

“Eight thirty? A prince needs his beauty-”

“Eight thirty. We are going to do this properly.”

Roman’s phone was in his hand barely seconds after Logan’s door had closed (albeit more gently than before).

Groupchat: Princes and Co.

[Can’t wait for you to meet logan!]

Roman 09:58

[a name!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[we have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[such a nice name! can’t wait either, ro!]

Pops 10:01

[About time! I’ve been stalling on the place settings for weeks waiting for this name]

Emo Nightmare 10:02

[Was about to fly out to LA to strangle it out of you]

Emo Nightmare 10:04

[he was. i had to physically restrain him from doing so yesterday]

Padre 10:04

[bet u both enjoyed that ;);););););)]

Trash Rat 10:04

Several people are typing…

[Suck a dick, Remus]

Emo Nightmare 10:05

[we did, actually]

Pops 10:05

[would but janjans at work :((]

Trash Rat 10:06

[Didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know.]

Roman 10:06

[Pat!]

Emo Nightmare 10:06

[Logan Ursa??? 4th yr medic??? Coffee addict???]

Snake Eyes 10:06

Roman stared at his phone for a second. That was faster than he had expected.

[u knew????? jan u held out on me??? the luv of ur greyspec life???]

Trash Rat 10:07

[You told Janus?! I’m your brother! He’s not even related to you!]

Emo Nightmare 10:07

[No I didn’t tell Janus!]

Roman 10:07

[I’m omniscient.]

Snake Eyes 10:08

[Plus I just asked Jannie for a list of all the Logans you could have associated with.]

Snake Eyes 10:09

[You and your sister scare me]

Roman 10:11

[He has surprisingly little internet presence.]

Snake Eyes 10:11

[Told you. He’s shy]

Roman 10:12

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Roman returned to his room and picked up his laptop, this time to actually book the tickets he was supposed to have booked weeks ago. He had no doubt that they would arrive on Monday to discover that his family had already unearthed everything there was to know about his fake boyfriend - should he break that news to Logan before or after they were on the plane? Making the man paranoid might make their weekend photoshoot a lot more difficult.

Their photoshoot! If Logan was really on board, Roman would have to make this as easy as possible for him - and the performance of a lifetime for himself. Given that he was expected to bring a notebook to their meeting tomorrow, they were going to have to do a lot of brainstorming, so he might as well start coming up with ideas now. He already had a few as he grabbed a notepad from the mess on the floor and started hunting for a pencil.

No matter what his fake date said, this weekend was going to be a lot of fun.