#me and Benji when we *explodes midway*

[rilianeshairclip]

You CANNOT look at both Oscar and Haixiang and NOT say they aren't straight

They're so gay for each other it's unfunny ‼️‼️‼️ (I say as I shove one of the WuhuNights fangans and a LITERAL WII SPORTS X JURASSIC PARK AU away from your sight)

[feed-the-birdss]

Kinda

I posted my first official story! It’s not “James Asked” because that is turning out to be much longer than expected, but I will finish it soon!

I hope you all enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

Read it on Fanfiction.net: Kinda

Fourth Year

“Alright, that’s it for today. Your three rolls of parchment on the importance of stirring counter-clockwise four times before adding in the valerian is due on Monday, and I am hoping to see more effort than I did with your last essays” said Professor Slughorn as he gave a pointed look toward Sirius and James who both snickered in response.

As they cleaned up their desks in preparation to leave the class, Sirius turned next to him to ask James, “So do you still plan on asking Evans out today?”

“Shut it, would you?” croaked James with wide eyes as he quickly looked toward the front of the class to make sure the red-head couldn’t hear. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t decided how I am going to do it.”

“What do you mean? You just go up to the bird, put your arm around her, and tell her you’re taking her to Hogsmeade. It’s not even a question these days. The ladies like confidence,” assured Sirius as he winked over at Mary MacDonald who giggled in response.

James ran his hand through his hair before picking up his bag and following Sirius out the door, “Lily is not the kind of bird who likes being told what to do mate. I mean, remember what happened when Snape told her to not take Divination?”

“James, don’t be daft. There is a difference between a greasy git like Snape bullying her around, and a confident git like you telling her that she’s being taken to Hogsmeade. Besides here’s your chance right now,” cajoled Sirius as he shoved James in her direction when she quickly walked past them. “Oi! Evans! James here needs to talk to you!” yelled Sirius before turning in the opposite direction towards his Ancient Runes class.

Lily turned around with a suspicious look in her eye as James proceeded to send a dirty look in Sirius’ direction and then make his way over to her, “What’s up Potter?”

“Well Evans, not much I guess…you good?” He said with his hand ruffling the back of his head.

“Yep, all good.”

“Right.”

“So…is there something you needed or can I go?” she asked.

Sirius’ words about confidence echoed in his head. So James stood up a little straighter as he put his hand through his hair once more, and put on his signature smirk that always made the group of second year girls who fawned over him blush. “Actually, there is something I need from you Evans. You see, you’re kinda cute and all, so I figured that we should go to Hogsmeade this weekend together.”

A copper eyebrow raised in response.

“I am going to take that silence as a yes. So I’ll meet you at around ten in the common room,” he proclaimed as he began to walk backwards to catch up with Sirius.

Lily’s brain seemed to have caught up with what he was saying, and quickly replied with “What the Hell Potter!? You can’t just…I mean…that wasn’t even…UGH. No James, I will not be meeting you in the common room at ten, NOR will you be seeing me at Hogsmeade,” she cursed, then swiftly turned on the spot, her red-hair billowing behind her looking like a plume of fire as she briskly walked down the corridor.

James just watched her go with his mouth hanging open.

Lily’s mouth, on the hand, was tightly pressed together in a thin line that would make McGonagall proud. Kinda?!, she thought, that prick thinks I’m “kinda cute”!? What does that even mean!?

Fifth Year

Sirius, James, Remus, Mary, Marlene and Peter were all sitting in the common room pretending to pay attention to a game of Exploding Snap Sirius and Peter were not really playing. Each of their eyes kept shifting towards the portrait, waiting for the red-head to come back inside.

“Maybe I should go check on her,” said James for what felt like the one hundredth time in the last five minutes.

“No James! How many bloody times do we have to tell you that YOU are absolutely the LAST person she wants to see right now…or ever really for that matter,” said Marlene.

“Well that seems to have changed,” Sirius muttered, earning a scowl from Mary, Remus and Marlene.

“Don’t be a prick Sirius. He was her best friend. She is only just coming to terms with the fact that he won’t be any longer, and you saying things like that won’t help with anything,” said Mary.

“Right, sorry,” he apologized as he and Peter continued to play the game absentmindedly.

While the others engaged in shallow conversation about their OWLs, James couldn’t even try to participate. His eyes were glued to the portrait.

When the portrait finally opened a few minutes later, and the red-haired girl slowly walked into the common room, James’ heart couldn’t help but break as he noticed the tears falling from her very red eyes. As soon as those red eyes came into contact with the group by the fire, she slowly made her way over to them.

Mary and Marlene jumped up as soon as the door opened and met her half way to engulf her in their arms, one of them on each side of her. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James all watched with frowns.

“Are you gonna be okay love?” asked Mary sweetly.

Lily gave her a watery smile as she nodded weakly. “Yeah, it was a long time coming anyway. I just wish it hadn’t ended so disastrously…or publicly,” sniffed Lily.

“Right, sorry about that Evans. I guess that’s kinda my fault, eh?” said James as he lifted his hand towards his hair, but stopped midway when he remembered Lily’s words at the Lake, and awkwardly put his hand back down.

“Really Potter! Is that the apology I am going to get from you? Only admitting to it being ‘kinda’ your fault? Honestly, you seriously need to learn to take responsibility for your actions,” spat Lily with a face as red as her hair. She then loosened herself from her best friends’ arms and marched her way up the stairs towards the girls dormitory.

“Way to go mate.”

“Shut up Sirius, it’s not like you weren’t involved either,” accused James.

“Yeah, but my apology would’ve been better than that,” said Sirius.

“Whatever,” was James’s retort as he too stalked off toward his dormitory with a red face.

Sixth Year

“All right Evans?”

“What do you want Potter? I’m busy!” snapped Lily.

“Merlin’s Beard Evans, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I only wanted to see if you’ve invited some of the other prefects from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff to Remus’ surprise party tomorrow night.”

Lily sighed, “Right, that. Yeah. I’ve invited Bertram, Benjy, Dorcas, and Jane.”

“Excellent,” replied James as got a good look at her up close and examined the red-head’s messy hair, dark eyes and crumpled uniform. “Are you good?” puzzled James, as he had never seen her look this haggard before.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” inquired Lily.

“Well…you look kinda tired I guess.”

Lily’s eyebrows immediately scrunched together, “Ugh, Potter! You are honestly one of the most annoying prats on the planet. Why do you always say that awful, heinous, and annoying word!? Every time you say it I am so bloody tempted to just smack that stupid smirk right off your face!”

“Uhhhh…what word Evans?” cautioned James.

“Kinda! You’re always, ‘hey Evans, you’re looking kinda a cute today’ or ‘hey Evans, that joke was kinda funny’. Just—” she sighed exasperatedly, “you’re just kinda kinda kinda KINDA all the Agrippa-damned time, and I am so bloody tired of it James. Just mean something fully, or keep it to yourself and don’t say it all!” fumed Lily.

“So you’re saying that you wished I said that you look fully tired?”

“Yes!”

“Right, noted.”

“Good.” Approved Lily as she relaxed a bit more.

“So I’ll see you at the party, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss Remus’ party,” Lily said kindly.

“True, Remus is kinda the best,” smirked James with a glint in his eye.

Lily couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face after rolling her eyes in response, “you’re a prat Potter.” She then stalked off toward the library to finish the three essays she had due the next day.

“A full prat or kinda a prat?”

Without looking back, Lily responded with a gesture that would have given her a week’s worth of detention if McGonagall had seen it.

 Seventh Year

“Mate, she likes you back! I swear to Merlin she does,” pleaded Sirius as he followed James to the Heads Office where he was meeting Lily for their rounds that night.

“Shove off Padfoot. If she liked me back, I would know it. I mean, I know her. Almost as well as Mary and Marlene.”

“Yeah, but you’re blind when it comes to this stuff Prongs! Remember when you thought that Benjy hated Emily, but it turned out that he actually fancied her?”

��This is not the same. I know Lily doesn’t hate me seeing as we’re good friends now, but because we’re good friends now, I also know that she doesn’t fancy me.”

“You’re being an idiot Prongs,” sighed Sirius as he went down one corridor to head back to the common room, and James headed down another toward the Heads Office.

James pondered what Sirius had said. It couldn’t be! It just didn’t make any sense to him. Sure Lily and him have been getting along great lately, but it’s because they have been forced to spend all this time together! She has no choice but to like his presence at this point or she would’ve been driven mad! And true, she has been getting a bit touchy-feely after he tells a joke, but the other day, Mary had grabbed onto him too, and there’s no way Mary likes him. Sure it had been because she was about to trip down the stairs, but it was still a touch!

I mean, Lily does touch him all the time though…Is it possible?

NO, James thought to himself. He can’t go down that path right now. He needs to focus on just making her fall in love with him the old fashioned way, slowly but surely. They’d only been actual friends for a few months, so he figured he still had time. He can’t get distracted by possibilities. The next time James Potter asks Lily Evans out, he needs to have no doubt whatsoever in his young, but brilliant, mind that she is going to yes—with enthusiasm, and then she would snog the living daylights out of him.

Well okay, the last part doesn’t have to happen, but it sure as Merlin would be a welcomed reaction.

As James approached the doors to the Heads Office, he could hear the bickering voices of Lily and Marlene. “Merlin’s Beard! Lily, you have to tell him!” burst Marlene.

“I know. I will. I am going to do it tonight I think,” she responded.

“You’re going to tell who what tonight?” asked James as he waltzed into the room.

Lily’s head turned so quickly he was worried she might have hurt herself for a second.

“Oh, um, I have to tell Benjy that I think I saw his toad the other day,” squeaked Lily.

“What? I thought Benjy had an owl?” puzzled James.

“He has a toad too Potter. Didn’t you know? Its name is Arnold,” assured Marlene.

“Oh…no I didn’t. Well, yeah, you better tell him then.”

“I will! Right after rounds,” replied Lily giving Marlene a grateful look as she left to go back to the common room.

“Good, well, we better get going then,” reasoned James motioning her out the door.

As they wandered through the corridors, occasionally checking broom closets and classrooms for any misbehaving students, they talked through their usual topics: their days, stories from their childhoods, Sirius’ ridiculous comments in class that morning, Remus’ deteriorating health etc. However, James noticed that Lily seemed a little off tonight.

“Lil, what’s up? You seem nervous?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess I am,” said Lily quietly.

“Why?”

“Well, for starters, I lied earlier, in the Heads Office. Benjy does not have a toad named Arnold.”

“I bloody knew it! Benjy is way too cheesy to choose a name like Arnold. He would choose something dumb like Mr. Toad.”

“Oh my God, you’re totally right! He would choose a name like Mr. Toad,” laughed Lily.

“So why’d you lie Lils?”

“Right. Well, it’s because you’re the person I actually had something to tell tonight.”

“Oh?” inquired James.

“Yeah, cause you see Potter…well, um, I kinda fancy the pants off you.”

James eyes went wide behind the frames of his glasses, and he stopped walking mid-step.

“James?”

“Wait…what?”

“I fancy you James,” said Lily slowly stopping in front of him.

James’ silence continued for what felt like ages to Lily. She debated with herself as to whether or not she should say it again, but thought better of it. She could see the cogs turning in his beautiful messy-haired head. So she just watched him patiently as he processed the best news he had ever heard in his life.

After a minute or two, James finally responded, “Evans.”

“Yes Potter?”

“I need to clarify something here.”

“Okay…”

“Do you fancy me? Or do you kinda fancy me?” James asked with smirk as he put his hands around her waist.

“Don’t be an idiot Potter,” she replied, and then, to James’ utter astonishment, she weaved her hands through his hair, bringing her face close to his, and proceeded to snog the living daylights out of him.

[bookofspellsandspellsandspells]

Daily Prophet Archive

Oct 1st, 1999

MINISTRY IMPOSES RESTRICTIONS

"Wards at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries are never busier than at Hallowe'en. There's still a wizard in there with his head on back to front from last year." "We’re not trying to stop people having fun. We’re just trying to stop them turning each other into artichokes without checking to see if they know the counter-charm." -- Stamford Jorkins, Ministry of Magic spokesperson.

"Merlin's beard, surely we can celebrate one night of the year without worrying about the blessed Muggles" -- Ms Crook to the Daily Prophet.

‘This is the one night of the year we are supposed to be allowed out and about. It’s common knowledge that if they see us, Muggles assume we are simply fellow-Muggles in fancy dress." -- Celestina Warbeck

"I've spent the last five years cultivating luminous pumpkins, flying pumpkins, singing pumpkins and exploding pumpkins.... This is my livelihood, I’m not going down without a fight." -- Dagbert Pips Proprietor of Pumpkins R Us to the Daily Prophet.

Plans to restrict Hallowe’en celebrations, the one time of year wizards can be “out and about” without arousing the suspicions of Muggles, were announced by Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge. One year a vampire ran amok before being lured from a Muggle girl with a raw steak, and every Halloween St. Mungo's Hospital is full of people who have had spell accidents or been turned into artichokes. Celestina Warbuck was dismayed when she had to cancel her Halloween concert featuring screaming banshees as back-up singers, and many others in the Wizarding World felt the restrictions were unfair.

NEW POTION GIVES HOPE FOR HAGS

"Heavily bandaged, and with several chunks of his face and neck missing, Professor Moonshine told reporters that he hopes to publish his research paper next month." -- reported by the Daily Prophet.

"Most of my hag volunteers have refrained from taking a bit out of me since last Tuesday" -- Professor Regulus Moonshine to the Daily Prophet.

A potion that reduces the appetite for human flesh in hags has been developed by Professor Regulus Moonshine. Though coverage of Moonshine's press conference raised some scepticism about his results with hag volunteers.

Advertisement: "Poor memory? Forget where you left your wand? Wish you could remember spells without referring to cumbersome books?" "Helping witches and wizards find their marbles since 1426." "Don’t hesitate – send an owl today. And don’t forget to attach your details." -- advertisement in the Daily Prophet. “Poor memory? ….” Mnemosyne Clinic for Memory Modification promises to restore memory to “natural range” with a simple charm. No word on whether the Mnemosyne Clinic will help you forget things you'd rather not remember, or - alas their location.

Sports: Quidditch League Table & Match Information

Ballycastle Bats 820

Puddlemere United 790

Montrose Magpies 780

Tutshill Tornados 770

Kenmare Kestrels 720

Pride of Portree 700

Appleby Arrows 680

Caerphilly Catapults 650

Holyhead Harpies 620

Wimbourne Wasps 530

Chudley Cannons 490

Wigtown Wanderers 480

Falmouth Falcons 360

Friday: Tutshill Tornados vs. Wigtown Wanderers, Bodmin Moor Saturday: Ballycastle Bats vs. Caerphilly Catapults, venue to be decided (Muggles camping on Ellis Moor. Contact Dept. of Magical Games and Sports, Ministry of Magic for details). Monday: Kenmare Kestrels vs. Wigtown Wanderers.

PUDDLEMERE CHASER VANISHES AMID CHAOS AT HOLYHEAD MATCH The Department of Magical Games and Sports was in urgent conference this morning following scenes of mayhem at the Puddlemere United/Holyhead Harpies match last night. The Ministry of Magic had anticipated trouble at the game, and the Magical Law Enforcement Squad was out in force. Fans were asked to hand over their wands before entering the stadium, but it became clear ten minutes into the match that many had not complied. ‘When we checked, we discovered that many witches and wizards had handed in “dummy” wands, and kept the real ones concealed under their robes,’ said a Ministry spokeswizard. The Puddlemere/Holyhead game was always likely to be a tense one. There is a traditional rivalry between the two clubs, and earlier this year Puddlemere United lured away the Holyhead’s star Chaser, Wilda Griffiths, with a one thousand Galleon fee. Gwenog Jones, Holyhead captain, was known to feel a deep sense of personal betrayal at...

Headlines: "It is nonsense to say that Gwenog [Jones] wanted the Holyhead fans to riot. Yes, maybe she did say that Wilda [Griffiths] deserved to be gnawed to death by starving tarantulas, but that was a light-hearted remark.which she certainly did not expect anybody to take seriously. And I’m quite sure that wherever Wilda is, she is not being devoured by spiders." -- a Holyhead Harpies representative. "We thought she’d turned herself invisible .... We knew it was against the rules, so we got a little bit annoyed." -- Fan of the Holyhead Harpies, Matilda Dukelow interviewed by the Daily Prophet. "Everywhere I looked people were collapsing. A lot of the Harpy supporters were using the Jelly-Brain jinx." "Puddlemere Seeker Benjy Williams managed to seize the Snitch and brought the game to a close" "Confusion reigned as referee Josiah Plunkett attempted to locate the missing Chaser" -- match report in the Daily Prophet.

PUDDLEMERE CHASER VANISHES AMID CHAOS AT HOLYHEAD MATCH Ministry fears of violence at the match between traditional rivals Holyhead Harpies and Puddlemere United were realised when former Harpy, Chaser Wilda Griffiths, disappeared midway during the match. Many Puddlemere and Holyhead supporters had handed in “dummy” wands at the gates and used their real wands during the ensuing riot. Holyhead team captain Gwenog Jones is said to be “helping the Ministry with its enquiries”. ‘There were wands everywhere,’ said Timothy Blenkinsop (23), a Puddlemere supporter who was caught in the midst of the fighting. ‘Everywhere I looked people were collapsing. A lot of the Harpy supporters were using the Jelly-Brain jinx. A group of Puddlemere fans near me retaliated with the Sponge-Knees curse. It was shocking. I just ran. I count myself lucky to have escaped just with this tail.’

CANNONS BLAST THE FALCONS Ragmar Dorkins collapsed with shock on Saturday" -- match report in the Daily Prophet The Daily Prophet reports the collapse of Chudley Cannons' team manager Ragmar Dorkins on the occasion of the team's second win in a row. The Falcons were said to be "in danger of relegation" following a loss to the Chudley Cannons.

Advertisement: "Shooting Stars, Comet 220s, Cleansweep Fives" “Buy your Second-Hand Brooms at SPLINTER & KREEK’S” "Quality brooms at low, low prices" -- advertisement in the Daily Prophet. Their advertisement describes Splinter and Kreek's as a place at which to "buy your second-hand brooms", listing some out-of-date models such as Cleansweep Five, Comet 220 and Shooting Star. So this is presumably a second-hand broom shop, though it's possible they sell new brooms as well. The ad doesn't seem too effective, though, as the store's location is never given.

Pages 3&4 – Crossword: “Fiendishly Difficult Crossword“, clues and answers Clues include: - 1 Across - She has a backing group of banshees (9-7) – 42 Across – The colour of the Quaffle (3) – 49 Down – Your worst nightmare as a Bertie Bott bean flavour (3)