#me after making an emotionally drained cop look like the cutest thing you have ever seen on earth

[chocosinsanitydump]

last silly post before i have to eep

he still has no thoughts

[beecckkyy16]

My thoughts on s03 x e09.

I’m completely emotionally drained. I know some people weren’t entirely happy with the episode, but I loved it and I have to say my Chenford heart is completely full right now ❤️.

I am truly more hopeful now than ever before that they may actually become canon 🙏.

I’ve seen people commenting that the “confession” scene is a sign that the door has now closed on Chenford. I actually think the opposite.

Just the idea of them being anything more than friends is out there now. I don’t think before this scene either of them had truly considered anything more than platonic feelings for each other. They wouldn’t have allowed themselves to think like that, even if they knew deep down they were physically attracted to each other (obviously, they’re both gorgeous!), and that they had a unique and completely trusting bond. They’ve been through a lot together, it would be no surprise that they were comfortable with each other. Now that the idea is out there, they can begin to actually consider it and how they really feel. I’m sure both of them spent some time analysing in their heads what had happened and questioning their feelings, I don’t believe they both just brushed it off and never thought about it again.

Is it normal for Tim to miss riding with a Rookie once they graduate? He’s made it clear in the past that being a TO to them is purely all it is and he’s more than happy to say goodbye to them at the end of the year and start over with a new Rookie. I think he’s going to be shook when he realises it’s just not the same without her by his side 12 hours a day, that a piece of him is missing. She’s crept into his heart without him even noticing and it’s going to floor him when he finally realises.

Lucy has been so excited to stand on her own two feet and get out there and be the strong, badass cop she is that she hasn’t actually considered what it will be like not spending 12 hours a day with Tim. He’s become her safety blanket, the one she can trust with her life, the one she feels comfortable enough to spill all her thoughts to even when he mocks her and acts disinterested.

Now only seeing each other during the occasional roll call and crime scene is the perfect opportunity for them to realise the hole the other has left in them.

My only concern off the back of the confession scene is a comment I read that theorised if this will make Tim more hesitant to accept his feelings and/or admit them to Lucy and vice versa. He could be left thinking that Lucy thinks the idea of them having any romantic feelings for each other is a joke and so unbelievable and that’s why she brought it up so casually. Or, Lucy actually kinda knew deep down that she maybe meant what she was saying (she came up with the idea of pretending she has feelings so quick, maybe that’s because she’s contemplated it before) and she could be hurt/embarrassed at his clear shock of the confession. I think it’s probably too early in their relationship development for this to have a huge impact on it though.

Now onto the garage scene.. this is without hesitation my favourite scene of the entire show so far. I’ve re-watched it countless times. I can’t put into words how warm, fuzzy and hopeful it made me feel. It was absolutely perfect.

Tim’s face when Lucy was reading out his final eval. That is the face of a man completely BESOTTED. And he had a glistening in his eyes like he was on the verge of choking up. 🥺

I know some people are a little disappointed we didn’t get a hug, but I think it would have been a bit out of character for Tim. He’s not outwardly soft and in touch with his feelings and the “I’ll miss riding with you” was the most sentimental we’ve seen him with her. Although, before he offers her his hand he does make this face, like maybe he’s contemplating what to do or say next and then decides a handshake is the safest option...

I personally loved the handshake. They both held it for way longer than necessary, and to be honest I thought it was actually extremely intimate. Like neither of them were quite ready to let go just yet. They knew this was their last moment of partnership and tomorrow things will be different.

I, along with everyone else I’m sure, freaking loved the gift exchange! I LOVE the parallels with these two. Lucy is now feeling comfortable enough to get her own back on Tim for one of his “Tim Test’s”. I think that’s a huge sign that they have officially crossed over the line from work partners to friends.

Lucy’s reaction when Tim opened his “gift” was the cutest 🥺

When Tim said “see you tomorrow Lucy”. Ugh I had goosebumps everywhere. Again, crossing that line from being his boot. I wonder if from now on he’ll always refer to her as Lucy or if he’ll sometimes still call her his boot. I kinda still want him to in an endearing kind of way.

At the very end after she says “see you tomorrow Tim”, I may have completely lost my mind but it looks like she is so checking him out when she eyes him up and down before she walks away. She’s thinking “ohh I see you now 😉”.

Sorry for my long ramble, but I’m just so in love with these two right now. I’m so excited to see how the last few episodes of this season turn out. There are so many possibilities. I may be completely naive but I truly think our ship is about to set sail.. 🥰

[justsomebucky]

Flashes (Part 4 - End)

Summary: Soulmate AU. “The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” - William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,964

Warnings: language, fluff, angst, pain, descriptions of injuries, graphic death

(Do not read if you’re squeamish or easily frightened or triggered by this sort of thing! DO NOT DO IT. I will completely understand.)

A/N: Well, I did it…at least I tried. The lovely @minervaem challenged me (sort of) to do an angsty story. Thank you to my friends Rochelle, Nicole, Lauren, and Bella for their support. I’m sure they are glad to see this go, too, lol.

I hated every second of this story. PS - I’m not doing an alternative ending, I’m not doing a follow-up. I want this gone!

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

He was nearby.

You knew, because Nat had told you the closer you got to Bucky, the more frequent your flashes would become. That’s what happened with her and Clint, anyway. You’d been having flashes off and on all morning, five in total so far.

The first three had led you to the street you were on at the moment.

You’d seen the street signs, walked the same sidewalk, smiled at some of the same passersby. Clues had led you to this outdoor café, where you sat with a cappuccino, in the same chair at the same table that you’d chosen in your visions.

That was all good and fine…that made sense to you. Your flashes made you see something, and you followed the clues like a treasure map.

But now you were so freaking confused.

These last two flashes didn’t make any sense, and didn’t follow the same structure as the others. Neither flash had featured Bucky. In fact, the only thing you had seen was the sky. You couldn’t move your head, you couldn’t look down…your only view was the swirling clouds above.

You tapped your fingers on the table at a different tempo than your shaking leg, wondering what it all could mean. Natasha had never ever mentioned feeling uncomfortable or frightened after her flashes. No, she’d always been subjected to sunshine and rainbows in hers, apparently.

Maybe your flashes were reflections of how you were feeling, sort of like your dreams? You were anxious as all hell, and scared to be rejected (which sounds stupid when dealing with a soulmate, but what did you know about acceptance? You could count those loyal to you on one hand).

You let your eyes drift upward, noting the mix of light and dark grey clouds. There was an occasional sun shower peeking through, though, which left the city looking a little mythical, like something that Tolkien had dreamed up. Some small trees lined this street, giving it the feel that you were outside of a major city, when really you were just in one of the boroughs that was a little less pavement and a little more hipster.

Back to the sky, though. Why was it featured so heavily? There was nothing out of the ordinary about it. Maybe Bucky was really Superman? It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s James ‘Bucky’ Barnes!

A smile tried to find its way to your lips, but you were having none of it, biting your lower lip to stop yourself. This was serious business, and you were exhausted and having some silly thoughts instead of staying on task. You needed to focus, you needed to find Bucky.

Flashes were a lot more emotionally draining than you had anticipated. There’s this strange tug that feels like it’s centered from your spine, pulling out through your gut and tethering you to this other person. When you see them, you feel this incredible sense of urgency…to be near them, to talk to them, whatever. It was wearing you down when it should be building you up, making you feel whole.

Your eyes flitted across the faces of strangers, searching for any familiarity in their faces and coming up empty. You were so intent on the task at hand that when your phone buzzed, you jumped out of your seat.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? Why do you sound weird?”

Oh, probably because your nerves were shot, no big deal. “I’m fine, what’s up?”

“Did you find him yet?”

You made a face, still glancing around. “Nope. Did you finally get to Clint?”

“I did! Sweetie, it’s unbelievable! It’s just freaking unreal to finally be in his arms. I can’t even explain it. Wait, what am I saying? You’re gonna find out in no time at all what it feels like, then we can discuss!”

“Is he the dreamboat you were hoping for?” You were so happy she finally got to Clint, but keeping up the excitement when you were still waiting was becoming quite the task. “Am I gonna be your maid of honor?”

“You better freaking believe it! And to answer your question, yes. He is a dreamboat. But more than that, he’s absolutely my better half. Clint’s such a good man, Y/N. I can’t wait for you to meet him!”

“Me either. He sounds perfect for you.”

“Thanks for sounding thrilled, I really appreciate it,” she replied dryly.

You laughed. “You know I am, Nat. It’s just…I’m really tired, and he still hasn’t made an appearance, and I’m just ready for it all to be over, you know? I just want to be with Bucky.”

“I know, Sweetie. Soon, your hand will be in his, and you’ll look at him and say, ‘Hot damn, you are one sexy cop!’ And then you’ll find lots of new and fun things to do with those handcuffs.”

“Nice,” you replied, smirking. Your best friend certainly had a way with words. “I’ll make sure that’s the very first thing I say, ya know…reel him in right away with my wit.”

Natasha snorted. “Seriously, as soon as you’re done kissing the hell out of him, call me. I want to hear his voice, maybe lay down a few rules and warnings for how he needs to treat a gem like you.”

“You got it. I’ll call you after I find him. Go be with Clint, make the most of your day. I love you, Natasha.”

“Love you too, Y/N. Good luck!”

Your cappuccino had long since gone cold, and there still was no sign of your soulmate. Heaving a big sigh, you tossed some money down beside your cup and stood, stretching a little. There were still two days left in your trip, so you could try again tomorrow.

It was getting dark, you reasoned. It was a little chilly, and it looked like it might drizzle soon anyways. There were loads of reasons to call it a day and spend another night lonely, wishing you had met Bucky already.

Tomorrow was another day.

You tossed your bag over your shoulder and scooted around the tables, exiting the café’s patio area and finding yourself back at square one on the sidewalk. You decided, just for your own piece of mind, to walk back to the corner you’d seen in your flashes. Maybe it would trigger another vision with more helpful information besides the stupid sky.

After looking both ways, you darted across the street and turned left, staring at the sidewalk dejectedly as you walked. You made it about two feet before you ran smack into someone.

More specifically, you ran into someone’s muscular chest. Your heart pounded, your knees weakened, and you felt that familiar tug from your midsection as you looked up into the bright blue eyes of one Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

He reached out to steady you, his own eyes wide. “Excuse me, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

“No, no,” you interrupted, feeling your face grow hot. “It was my fault, I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I-”

Your voice trailed off when you realized he was smiling at you with a look of recognition. 

“It’s you,” Bucky breathed out, marveling at the sight of you. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Oh, shit…you’d been so caught up in your own flashes that you failed to remember that he was probably having weird flashes about you, too.

“Found someone, you have,” you joked, immediately shaking your head in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, that was so lame, I’m…I’m just so freaking nervous! I-” You shook your head again, giving him a sheepish smile. “I’ve been looking for you, too.”

Bucky’s smile was the most amazing thing you’d ever seen in your entire life. It was just like in the flashes; he radiated warmth, and those little laugh lines appeared, and thank god he was holding your arms because you were sure you would have fallen over.

“I’m Bucky,” he offered, eyes twinkling. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/N.”

Your name rolled off of Bucky’s tongue as he repeated it, his smile widening. He had a little bit of stubble along his strong jaw. His mouth was gorgeous, mesmerizing even.

“You’re a sexy cop,” you blurted out, cursing at Natasha in your head. “I mean, uh…What I meant was, I’ve been seeing you in my flashes, and you’re usually in uniform.”

“Oh,” he chuckled, his nose crinkling in the cutest damn way ever. “Yeah, I had a vacation day today. My flashes were becoming more frequent, and…well I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, after waiting this long, I didn’t want to risk missing you.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” This time you smiled back at him. You were sure that if you didn’t look away soon, you were going to fall head-first into those bottomless blue eyes and drown. “Do you want to, maybe, go somewhere and talk? Get to know each other?”

“Yes, yes we should definitely do that.” Bucky let his grip drop from your arms, immediately reaching his hand out to entwine your fingers with his. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, and you about melted there on the sidewalk. “I know a little pizza joint around the corner, best pizza in the city!”

“I knew we were going to get along. Pizza is the way to my heart.” God, when were you going to stop being so damn awkward?

Bucky laughed again, his perfect teeth on display, and you knew in that moment that you were going to let your dork flag fly for the rest of your life if it meant that your cheesy jokes would make him smile like that.

You allowed him to tug on your hand and lead you down the sidewalk a bit. The two of you were grinning at each other like teenagers experiencing their first dose of puppy love, but you didn’t give a shit what you looked like to anyone else.

The reverie was broken when a man came running out of the building to your right, nearly bowling the both of you over.

“Rude,” Bucky muttered, glancing at the guy before continuing.

There was a little convenience store at the very corner of the street, one you’d been in twice today to buy gum and lottery scratchers to waste some time. It was owned by an elderly Greek couple who lived in the apartment above it.

You glanced inside as the two of you passed by the door, but when you saw what was going on, you stopped short, pulling Bucky to a standstill too.

“Oh my god,” you rasped. “Someone’s got a gun to that poor woman’s head!” Your eyes flew to Bucky’s face, and he immediately went into superhero mode.

“Stay here,” he instructed, pulling his hand from yours.

“Wait, don’t you think you should call for backup first? He’s got a freaking gun!”

Bucky looked at you again, eyes pleading. “Just stay out here, okay? Actually, no. Go across the street. I don’t want you anywhere near this guy. Go!”

He gave you a little push, but instead of relenting, you panicked.

You grabbed his face and pressed your lips to his for the first time, trying to convey everything he already meant to you in this kiss. Bucky was too stunned to react for a second, then he returned your kiss eagerly.

It was over far too quickly for your taste, but, ya know…gunman and all…

“Be careful,” you murmured when you pulled back.

“Go,” he repeated, his eyes a little darker than before. “Please.”

You nodded, then turned and crossed the street quickly, reaching for your phone to dial for emergency help. Your eyes stared at the glass door as Bucky went inside and approached the counter slowly. You lost sight of him.

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need to report an armed robbery, on the corner of-“

A couple customers came running out, screaming at the top of their lungs, but not Bucky. You tried to find your voice again. “On the corner of Third Avenue and Union Street, in the convenience store. The robber has a gun!”

“Okay miss, is the shooter still inside?”

About ten seconds went by and you heard a shot ring out. You tried to move to see inside the door, but the gunman came running out instead, still brandishing his handgun.You ducked behind a small tree, trying to stay out of his line of sight.

“Miss? I asked if the shooter was still inside of the store?”

“No, h-he ran outside, they’re outside, oh my g-”

You watched in horror as Bucky came crashing out the door after him, trying to tackle him to the ground. They wrestled around on the sidewalk, and no one was helping him, oh god, no one was helping Bucky, what if-

Another shot rang out, and this time, you heard a man grunt in pain.

When the shooter stood up and raced down the sidewalk, away from the corner, you knew he hadn’t been the one to take the bullet. No one went after him. What the hell was wrong with people?

“Miss, stay on the line, all right? I’ve sent officers to the scene. Is the gunman still there?”

Bucky couldn’t go after him. He was writhing on the ground.

“Officer down,” you cried out into your phone. “Buc- Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes has been shot!” Oh god, oh god, oh god…

“Miss, I really need you to remain calm and-”

You dropped your phone, finally finding the courage to ignore Bucky’s plea to stay put once you realized that he was trying to crawl to the curb. There was blood everywhere, so much blood that you could see it from across the street. Bucky was dragging himself with one arm, on one knee, and clutching his chest with the other hand.

He lifted that blood-soaked hand in your direction. “Stop,” he croaked, immediately covering his wound again, his face scrunched in agony. “Don’t.”

“Bucky!” You were hysterical now, knowing he was trying to spare you the sight of him bleeding out. “Bucky, I’m a nurse! I can help you, I promise!” You leapt across the first lane of traffic, dodging two different cabs as one driver honked at you in irritation.

When you go to the center line, you let another car pass before taking off again toward Bucky. His blue eyes were locked on yours, his brows stitched together as he shook his head at you.

Almost there. “Stay still, okay? You’re gonna be fi-“

You never saw the movement in your periphery. It happened too fast for you, for anyone to react.

You never saw the shooter in his stolen getaway car as he peeled out of a parking space by the curb. You didn’t see him because you’d been too focused on Bucky.

When the car struck your body, you unexpectedly felt yourself go airborne. Screams pierced the air again, but it wasn’t your cry this time.

No, you couldn’t make a sound, because the air was taken from your lungs.

Your bag flew into the street, while you rolled up over the hood of the car and back down again, right near the curb in front of Bucky.

At least, you think that’s where you landed.

You couldn’t move; you knew your spine was at the very least broken, and possibly - probably - your neck. You knew that because you couldn’t feel a thing. No pain, just…nothing.

All you could see was the sky.

“Y/N!” You heard Bucky’s gurgled voice to your right. You couldn’t reply, still didn’t have a voice. From your training, you knew that sound meant that the gunshot probably, at the very least, pierced his lung, maybe even worse. He was bleeding to death, and you were the only one nearby who could help him.

Why was no one else helping him? There were millions of people in this goddamn city…surely one of them…

You stared at the sky. Little shadows were creeping in your line of vision, just like they had in your last two flashes.

Your mind was wandering, your focus on the sky drifting in and out.

“Y/N,” Bucky’s voice was a mere rasp in your ear. He’d somehow crawled off the curb to you, and you knew that he knew…

He moved over you then, blocking that godforsaken sky. His mouth and nose both dripped blood. When he coughed, even more blood spilled out.

He was crying, his eyes lined in red, and you wished you could reach up and brush the tears away. You wished you could whisper something soothing, to reassure him that you loved him the minute you saw him in your flash. You wanted to tell him to get well and move on from this, but you couldn’t do much of anything besides wheeze and stare, stare and wheeze.  

Bucky seemed to be saying something, but you lost all focus. You were so tired…

The universe is cruel, you thought idly.

You’d finally found him, the one you were meant for, the one you’d almost given up hope in ever finding. You were handed three minutes or so of pure bliss, only to have it immediately snatched from your hands.

The universe is so cruel.

Your eyes were leaking now; you only knew because your vision was blurring. His face disappeared, but you saw the top of his head, saw his fluffy brown hair in your periphery. He must have collapsed on your chest. Maybe he was already gone. Maybe he thought you were. Maybe you were both on your way out.

You weren’t going to make him smile for the rest of your life.

You’d never see his blue eyes again.

The grey sky disappeared, and there was nothing.

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

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