#me a person with intense depression anxiety and self-critical self-hatred issues: she should be kinder to herself 😢 i get it though

[septembersghost]

Do you think Tay is holding back on what is released about her relationship with joe? Artist always find it challenging especially autobiographical artist when they are in long term relationships. I feel she can't talk abt conflicts where joe is at fault because of media and her own fans being extremely toxic. I feel since she started dating joe, she has been calling herself the sole problem which seems unlikely and heavily skewed.

no. i mean, she pretty heavily alludes to the fact that he struggles with depression and anxiety and some avoidance of his own (it's all over false god, afterglow, renegade, peace, hoax, slightly in the great war, etc), but the whole difference we're seeing right now in her flourishing professionally is coming directly from her being happy, healthier, and feeling secure personally. when she mentions that he gives her silence, it's that he helps calm all the outside noise and he's the one who does make her feel like a person when other things don't. everyone is always grasping at her, wanting things from her (including us), he only wants her as she is. the fact that she details conflicts where she felt at fault is because of what she was going through at those times, it's not like...she won't put blame on him, it's that there wasn't blame to place there, and she's, as she said, getting the poison out by vulnerably sharing that. her calling herself the problem isn't new (see, for example, white horse, or maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame, or maybe i asked for too much, or wish i'd never hung up the phone like i did...there are MANY examples of her detailing her issues and blaming herself, just like she has consistently written about feeling like an outsider and about depression since pre-debut). it's not like he's perfect, i'm sure they've had arguments like any long-term couple where his faults came into play, but there's also a steadiness and gentleness to him that seems to be innate (this is not only in taylor's music but commented on by many people who've worked with him too). and that closeness and balance that taylor feels is nothing she's ever had before. she could place blame previously because there was blame to put on those other men, there's a reason none of those relationships lasted and why they damaged her the way they did. having someone who makes her feel content and loved and creatively inspired doesn't mean she's hiding anything. she's been more brutally honest than she's ever been before.

also, her qualifying herself as The Problem has nothing to really do with joe, and everything to do with years of mental health difficulties and trauma and some intense self-loathing issues and the vicious criticism of the media exacerbating all of that. there are moments when she seems to really think she's irredeemable and less than a person and it's heartbreaking. the light in the midst of that is that he helps her counteract it.