#mcl episode 17

[maddafuchagurl]

Hyun during honeymoon (wearing the ring <3)

[jxcotts]

my candy love: love life episode 17, honeymoon — nath love confession!!!!

blushing and kicking my feet <333

had a little heart attack, it's fine ;)

my loveee

baby :(

OH HOLY FUCK I LOVE HIM THE MOST

[magic-belodie]

The guide is online off MCL Love Life Episode 17

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

Updated Version 2.

They were both overlapped in Minnesota for the North Tartan Summer Jam-June 2016. They had a lot of basketball overlap in June/July 2016 but again, separate age groups, with Azzi playing in a higher age group than Paige.

USA U16 Trials in May 2017 when they met.

Won Gold together with U16 on June 11, 2017.

Flew to Minnesota together where Azzi probably spent the summer doing her camping and State Fair in August 2017. Before this though: they participated in the North Tartan Summer Jam-June 2017 but different groups. I think that first birthday post from Azzi is probably from this tournament. Also, they may have also had an EYBL tournament in Indianapolis in July 2017. This is also when those crush snapchats were most likely sent because the song itself was released July 7, 2017.

Generally, they always have a lot of overlap in the summer because of AAU

Their visit to Maryland, Notre Dame and UConn in Fall 2017. Offered scholarships by UConn at that time.

Azzi and Paige were together at the beginning of Feb, training. Azzi's high school is WCAC Champs at the end of Feb 2018 and Azzi was also player of the year as a Freshman.

Late March 2018, both participated in the 2018 USA Basketball 3x3 U18 National Championship. Paige’s team got first, and Azzi’s got second. Paige’s team went on to rep in the youth Olympics.

April 2, 2018 Paige and her Hopkins teammates watched the UConn Notre Dame 2018 Championship game. Paige apparently watched this match up twice by April 2019 and Azzi watched the 12/3/17 game against ND in Hartford. Maybe overlap?

Paige and Azzi played in the Nike Boo Williams Invitational for their separate AAU teams in Virginia on April 20-22, 2018. Azzi's team (Fairfax Stars 17s EYBL) won platinum undefeated in their division where she stood out as one of the best players at 15 years old. Paige's team (North Tartan 15s EYBL) won platinum undefeated in her division. Geno was apparently at this tournament from what I read.

Paige was in DC to play in the Capitol Classic on April 28, 2018. You can watch the entire game if you want.

Reunited in Colorado May 2018 for USA trials.

The 11th annual North Tartan Summer Jam in Hopkins Minnesota was held June 15-17, 2018, where both Paige and Azzi's AAU teams played against each other. Paige’s team beat Azzi’s team 79-63 but both ended with a 3-1 record with Paige's team getting second place. Azzi watched Paige's final game.

Basically, together all of July because training was July 4-20, with a pre-tournament invitational in Latvia. Afterwards, won Gold with U17 on July 29, 2018.

Azzi attends her first Curry Camp in August 6-7 2018. She blows up after the three point contest. At this point I also assume Minnesota cabin trip and state fair was spent together. Azzi was recognized while on a cruise with Bueckers family after the contest (Date unknown but assuming summer). Azzi also helped with Paige's charity clinic at the end of August in Montana.

Azzi and her family were also in Minnesota for a family wedding in September 2018.

11/2/18 Visit to UConn together. Azzi’s sweet 16 on 11/11/18. We know Paige was there.

March 2019 Azzi is presented Gatorade National Player of the Year for Basketball. Azzi's team is 2nd in the nation.

Paige wins state championship on March 16, 2019. Azzi is there supporting (she's in that day after vlog episode of Paige's teammate wearing her St. Patty's day necklace and referred to as National POY which she just got beforehand).

Both of them flew to Montana and I'm guessing that's when the Yellowstone trip happened. Probably Spring Break.

Buckets with Bueckers camp in Montana - March 25, 2019. Azzi was there.

April 1, 2019, Paige commits to UConn (signs letter of intent in November 2019). I think this is also the day Azzi got her puppy Stewie.

April 4-6, 2019 Azzi’s high school team makes the Geico Nationals final but loses. Not sure if Paige was there.

April 13, 2019 Azzi tears hear ACL/MCL at USA 3x3 championship. Surgery on May 29, 2019 in Indianapolis. Paige was with her before surgery (video proof from Azzi herself).  

April 26-28, 2019 AAU together (Azzi not playing).

June 2019 – Paige participates in Summer Jam 2019 with Metro Stars.

July/August 2019 – After Azzi attends the ESPYS and SC30 Select Camp for both of them, Minnesota tradition (they have tiktoks from that time at the cabin and started their joint account that summer). I also think this is when that one Overtime video was filmed with the competition.

10/10-16/19 – Paige is in Doha Qatar for USA Basketball 3x3 tournament. Then she went to First Night at UConn and I think visited Azzi before she went to LA for ESPNW. Azzi visited UConn the week before First Night supposedly.

Dec 16, 2019: First HUDL recruiting video. End of December 2019, Azzi was presumably training with Mamba family in NYC.

Reunited in January 2020 in DMV. Azzi’s first games back from ACL were around this time and Paige was there (they filmed tiktoks together and there are videos of her in the stands). During her visit, Paige's second HUDL recruiting video for Azzi was published.

Azzi’s high school team wins state championships in early March 2020. Azzi travels to Minnesota in mid-March 2020 for Paige’s final but Covid shutdown occurs.

Paige stays with the Fudds from the end of April until June 2020 where she goes back for her graduation in early June and I think possibly packing up her stuff because I know her family was relocating to DMV at this time. She rejoins the Fudds in late June and stays with them and travels with them for Azzi’s GTS team up until end of July. Paige also gets her Gatorade award presented to her at the Fudd’s house on July 24, 2020.

Azzi is in Minnesota with her GTS in August of 2020 and Paige starts UConn.

Azzi visits Paige on her birthday and I believe tells her she’s committing to UConn in October 2020.

Azzi's Togethxr video of her day in the life with the facetime call was filmed November 5, 2020 (pop quiz had a date).

Azzi commits to UConn in November 11, 2020 and turns 18.

Paige's UConn season starts with her first games being cancelled because everyone is in a 14 day quarantine when one person tests positive. This was the reality of that time - they had to contact tracing and couldn't risk getting Covid during the season. They didn't have anymore cancelled games after the end of January but it certainly was an issue early on. UConn had nearly 75% of their courses online or hybrid for entire Fall 2020. Out of state students enrolled in online courses didn't live on campus. This was the reality of Paige's first year. Most likely not as social as people think and really just FTing Azzi at 1 AM apparently.

Azzi attends UConn-Tennessee game on January 21, 2021 to cheer on Paige.

Azzi attends UConn Final Four on April 2, 2021 and also attends the final (while being on FT with Paige).  

Paige has ankle surgery afterwards and hanging out a lot with the Fudds as she rehabs during April and May 2021.

Azzi has USA U19 Trials in May 2021. Then graduation and prom for high school at the end of May (Paige was present during this time). Then summer session at UConn. Paige has her ESPY award speech in July 2021.

Azzi wins gold with team USA before landing back in Mn in mid August 2021 and reunited with Paige and heading to UConn.

My God, you did it 👑. Here's Pazzi's updated timeline for the people.

[candysweetposts]

MCL NG Ep 9 edit (pt 1)

For a second I forgot what happened in this episode :)).

HC time (long af):

Well, Elizabeth doesn't have siblings but she sure has cousins. One of them is Théa, who basically acts as Ysaline's little sister. She's a bit of a girl with an attitude (maybe I'll make a sprite of her if I remember). She and Elizabeth have a bit of a feud for some reason, constantly making comments about each other. Théa asked for help with her internship and Elizabeth obviously refused.

At work, things mostly went like in the actual episode. Elizabeth meets Devon's little brothers and she thinks they're nice kids and tries to guide them as best as she can. She also acted a bit awkward around her co-workers since she hasn't forgotten the Roy incident. She's still very mad but tries to keep her emotions down and yes the others also feel awkward around her since she gives them side-eyes whenever she can.

She chose to take care of the new interns alone and only talked about work.

After work, Elizabeth receives a call from her cousin who informs her about where she went and that she has to come and sign some papers because her parents are busy and she's closer to the location (she did that to piss her off mostly). Of course she denied it at first but was slowly convinced since she wanted to see Jason.

At Jason's office, he is surprised to see her since he didn't know she was Théa's cousin. So Elizabeth asks how Théa did and Jason sensing the tension between them says that she did very good with a smik. Théa also sensed the tension between Elizabeth and Jason wanted to stir some drama and asked "Are you sleeping with this guy?" to which Elizabeth trying to save face made a joke and said "Yes, so what?.... joking. Why do YOU care?" and then Théa didn't say much and left feeling a bit awkward.

Jason also felt... something but brushed it off and talked more about Théa and how good she did and from here they had the same conversation as in the episode leading to Jason talking about his father and Elizabeth proposing to steal a boat. They talked some more on the way and it seemed like they were actually having a normal conversation. Elizabeth felt bad for Jason and tried to comfort him as best as she could and even talked about her own father who lost his father figure when he was very young (17 to be precise) and was left by himself mostly.

They seem to bond over this and they had a sweet moment on the boat where Elizabeth was talking way too much and Jason listened but he enjoyed it nevertheless. He almost felt comforted by Elizabeth's words and how she seemed to be able to talk about it so freely and understandably. She even patted his shoulder and told him that it's ok and that he seemed so strong for going though this and not breaking down.

After that Jason took Elizabeth home and they said goodbye to each other. She immediately entered the house feeling all warm and fuzzy.

Here's the outfit:

I really like this outfit. It's very fitting Elizabeth's style.

[demmeter]

Oh my. I can't believe I'm this emotional, but eldarya ending truly made me feel so nostalgic.

I discovered this game when I was 14. I can still remember I played it at first because I was on Nath's route in MCL and there were memes going around at the time about some "blue Nathaniel." I obviously was on Ez's route all throughout the first season.

I dropped MCL because I used to think it was so mediocre compared to eldarya... Eldarya was just THAT good back then. It was sooo interesting, the characters were well written, the set up was amazing! It was my obsession for YEARS! I would say it all started going downhill from episode 17 on.

I love this game, I always will despite it becoming so incredibly bad through the last 4 years or so. But I'd like to remember all the moments that made me think it was a great game, like when Ezarel wore a moustache, or when I first realized nevra was not just a skirt chaser, but also an incredibly capable guy (remember that pic of him with the kappa??) I also remember when chapter 7 came out and I first saw the illus, I was so excited, or when Ashkore put his finger over our lips, also the chapter where we have a drink with the main 3, the shock I felt when I discovered Ez had a thing with Ewelein, when we first got our own room made by out guy, it being a window to their personalities, all of us trying to figure out what their backstory was, when we used to make conspiracy theories over why Ezarel didn't like being touched, Nevra was such a womanizer and Valkyon never talked, the anticipation we felt over solving all of the mysteries... There are so many good things about Eldarya, and I wish for all of us to keep them in mind.

I have no idea if Chinomiko still checks Tumblr posts, but I would love to tell her that she created an INCREDIBLE game, with incredible characters, and that I wish that she could've had the chance to be more involved over the last few years. I know that if she had been, the game would've kept being what we loved.

Finally, I hope beemoov understands that rushing a story is a terrible idea, it's even worse to erase such dear characters for the players that have PAYED a lot to see their storylines. I hope you do ir better from now on, and I wish there were events with eldarya where at least for a little while, the story was what it used to be.

This truly is a love letter to game dude, I can't believe I'm being so dramatic, but eldarya truly has been an important part of my life, my first ever hyper fixation.

Also, I would like to keep writing for eldarya, I know I haven't posted in a while, and I can't say I will post regularly, but every now and then I will.

[ju-vondy]

Jason's past info reveal on EP. Five X My own thoughts...

After playing the latest episode of MCL New Gen I had to do this post because when Jason told us about his father I almost fell of my chair screaming "OMG I WAS RIGHT???!!!!!" For those who didn't play the episode 5 yet: 🚨⚠️spoilers 🚨⚠️

So... I had this feeling that Beemoov was going to introduce a family drama for Jason, particularly involving his father, to justify his poor behavior, ya know? Like...: the typical story where the teenager loses his father, faces family problems and ends up becoming bitter and tough because of it. The whole "family is a mess" narrative LOL (I honestly hate that concept of "You can heal she/he" thing that usually come together with this kinda plot, that's why even though I made a difficult past for Jason in my fic, he secretly goes into therapy often... so Candy won't need to worry about being a damn "healer" for him 😂)

In fact, I even considered killing his father when Jason was a teenager in my fanfic because I was so sure his dad was dead. But then I thought, "No... Beemoov wouldn't use that cliché of the man who lost his father too soon and had to take on family responsibilities at 18, right? What a drama!"

So, today I'm here to justify the plot I thought about to you: I didn't kill off Jason's father in my fanfic because in my mind it would be too obvious and cliché. Instead, I wanted to explore a different angle that still included family issues and could add depth into Jason's character. But then... I realized that my own story also ended up being quite dramatic LMAO 🤣😅🤐

The way I created Jason's family tragedy, I know it got intense, and sometimes I feel like such a villain for it (~crying in author language~). For a kid, it must be very though waking up from an accident and listening "So... Your father is in a coma. We don't know if he'll wake up or no. He can live but he can also die suddenly, be prepared." And then you wake up everyday hoping your father will wake up but he didn't and you get nothing instead of a fake hope that the next day will be different... You are unsure if he's going to live or die. You didn't lost the person, but you lost its presence, voice, bad jokes, caring, etc. However, you still don't want to lose hope. So, for Jason kid it was like "I'll do my best everyday so when papa wakes up he'll be proud of me :D"

I decided to put Jason's father (I named him as Gregory) through a coma when Jason was a kid for two main reasons: 1) Give Jason a motivation and 2) don't make him deal with "taking care family matters out of the blue" once he was too young.

> That leads to his uncle (named Viktor) accompanying Jason's growth and teaching him everything about the family business, being a leader and etc. Of course Viktor had an aggressive method once Jason father's part of the family is crap and cruel (as I shared on this post).

Despite growing up with his uncle filling his head with nonsense about love being a weakness and such things, young Jason didn't want to be bitter and iced-heart like that. (Yep, he was a hectic kid but that doesn't mean he was evil, he just liked to have fun messing around.) He remembered his father being kind and gentle, almost as if he wanted to break the tough mold of the family. But later Jason faced many disappointments because, being from a wealthy family, (BTW, I got kinda sad when Jason said they were not rich in the EP 5, but now that's done and I don't regret describing his family the way I did once we didn't have any information hehehe) many people around them were fake. He also suffered bullying for being skinny, so... All of those bad things led him to think around the age of 16-17: "Well, there's no other way. When I'm not at home I'll have to put on this mask that my uncle taught me so others won't walk all over me."

However, internally Jason still held hope that Gregory would wake up someday and... Within his good heart, there was the desire of wanting to make his dad proud ~if he woke up~ Jason had as a kid > it still remained there in his mind, so he gave his best effort in everything they put he to do back that time. But at a certain point there was so much pressure on the poor boy that he ended up having a breakdown. 'Do this' 'Don't do that' 'Be perfect' 'Get good grades' 'Blah blah blah'... At the age of 18-19 Jason found himself having like those "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" moments of life LOL 🤣 He never really liked everything the Mendal stood for, anyway. He always found it a drag to attend luxury dinners, close deals and pretend to be someone he wasn't… Jason ended up becoming a rebellious young-adult despite being studious and dedicated to his goals.

And then things got worse when Jason was near his 20-21 years old: his father sadly woke up in a minimally conscious state. (So: today his father is not dead, but he's not "living" as well. You know? When someone is awake but can't talk, move, etc. sometimes the person can exhibit limited and inconsistent responses to external stimuli, but that's all.) I think that was the "breaking point". Jason got deeply disappointed: He felt like everything he had done in his entire life was for nothing. As a result, the dark-haired began to exhibit dysfunctional behavior, skipping work at the family company, arriving late etc, etc. Viktor took advantage of this moment of weakness and convinced the board/the general council that Jason became irresponsible, went off the rail and therefore was unfit for any leadership position and would never be good enough to take the vice president or president's company role. That made our hated beloved protagonist really angry, it felt like a big betrayal for him. Following that, in a fit of impulsivity, Jason had those moments of "'Fuck you guys. I don't need you idiots. My family sucks and I'll prove them that I can make it on my own without using my father's name.' And that's why he resigned from his position and began working on something else, which would later culminate in the founding of Goldreamz. (Fortunately, this was the moment he decided to start seeing a therapist again, for our sake's.)

Well... I gave you too many spoilers of the fic already, so, basically: Jason’s past sucks and his journey in my point of view is intertwined with themes of redemption, ambition, growing and a desire to protect those he cares about besides his own heart ~which he chooses to not open up with random people. He's not an asshole/jerk, but he decides consciously to behave as if he is one because a bunch of internal reasons. (His therapist is still trying to work on that btw 👀) Jason only shows his truly self when he with his mom, brother, close friends and some of his mother's relatives. (And hopefully, near Candy... As time goes by and they fall for each other) Selective behavior, ya know? It is common for people undergoing therapy to selectively share their true feelings and thoughts with a trusted inner circle, while emotionally protecting themselves from others. Besides, we must remember that therapy is a long and sometimes non-linear process: Jason may resist complete changes, preferring to maintain a protective behavior while slowly working on his internal issues. Jason does not intend to change it, actually. He's happy with only the people he cares about knowing who he truly is... He's like: "bitch, I don't care" about the others. 😅😆

With all of that said: I can’t wait to delve deeper into Jason's motivations in my upcoming chapters, exploring the intricate web of personal and professional stakes that drive Jason’s actions. 🤭 Stay tuned for more revelations and twists 🤪

If you’ve been following my fanfic, let me know your thoughts on Jason’s development and how you think his backstory ties into the larger narrative. And if you’re just catching up on the game itself (MCL New Gen), what do you think of the latest episode? Let’s discuss!

If you're not following my fanfic, I recommend you read this post first 😅 Thank you all for supporting my work and crazy ideas 💖

[otomelavenderhaze]

I can't stop thinking about the cave dialogue in which Rayan talks about Chloé, his ex wife, therefore I went back to read whole scene back from University Life episode 8, because what Rayan describes in episode 17 of LL is too diferent from that UL episode and from everything I could remember about it.

It's not to say that I caught some sort of insane discrepancy and AHÁ!

It's more because I find it interesting and I thought maybe others would find it interesting as well. So first I wanna show you what Rayan says in episode 8 of UL (which I never translated before until this post):

In my playthrough of it, back in the day, I asked him directly if he have a wife, which he answers yes first and then the proceeds to talk about it...

"And she will forever be my wife. But the last time we saw each other was seven years ago. Already… seven years… My wife, Chloé, died seven years ago. In a terrorist attack. Some savages came in shooting. No fixed target. In shop windows, in people and even in children."

"There were many wounded, and fortunately few dead. But Chloé is one of those who didn't survive… All that happened seven long years ago. It took me time. At first I didn't want to move. I wanted to keep everything, the smallest memory."

Now why I am showing this 4 panells?

This is important to understand how she died, how sad Rayan showed us to be about her death and his attachment towards Chloé.

He even goes as far to say:

"We met in high school and we got married at 23, in a hurry. We didn't tell anyone. But I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything was all roses."

Candy asks him, how so?

"We often quarreled. We stayed together for a long time, we didn't get to know anyone but each other and, sometimes, we even doubted. But when she left… I was torn apart."

Now we will never know why they used to fight, what made them marry so young and so quickly to the point where he implies they didn't even had a wedding ceremony.

Which makes this difficult to understand what compelled both of them to take such actions - maybe they they were just impulsive, but without a reason behind such impulsivity it's hard to tell if it was warrant or not.

But then, the actual panel that made me do this post in the first place eventually comes up in that same conversation with Candy:

"I loved her with all my soul. Before anything else, she was my best friend. But, sorry… I opened up too much…"

And I believe he did, regardless of anything else, because it makes sense for Rayan's character to marry someone for love.

That's the kind of "person" he is, that's why when he falls for Candy, he's ready to assume so many risks and even later talks about leaving his job for her just so they could have a less tense relationship.

This sets up him to be someone that would intensily love another person and do everything for them - they being Chloé or Candy.

I could say this is actually the point of that whole conversation: to show that he isn't someone that takes love lightly or shallowly, which helps us readers to trust his intentions and to believe that, yes, for love he would indeed be honorable, truth and passionate, instead of a player or a man that just wants to have fun with one of his students.

Not mentioning that he presents himself as a tortured soul that lost a wife tragically and never fell in love ever since, but falls in love for you, the reader, because you're special and irreplaceable, is something very flattering and, even, I dare say, romantic.

Meow meow is sad and you're the only one who can fix that for him.

Personally, I don't like how mcl writes grief, I don't think they know how to dose it without losing their hand, so it comes off as shallow for me, but I guess it serves as another thing: Chloe was loved by Rayan, but Candy needs to be special. The player needs to feel special.

Which brings us to this part of the conversation:

"Every women had something of her own. I saw her everywhere. And yet, it's been seven years. Since then, I have been unable to get involved with another woman, in a new relationship. Even in a simple friendship."

"Until… I met you. I don't know… For the first time, I met someone who has none of her. For the first time, I felt entitled not to think about her."

I understand why in an otome game is important to get the romance right and make the player feel compelled to play the character's route, after all, who wouldn't want to feel special, even if it's only on a game - that's why we have so many MCs or main characters in videogames that are heroes, that cares of others or the place they belong to.

However, I will say, maybe they should've worded it differently, maybe it's not so much about feeling entitled to not think about her, but when I realized, I wasn't searching for her traits on you, I wasn't thinking about her anymore, I was ready to move on. But this is just how I would've done it, just so it would come from Rayan the agency of the "healing" - in another words, he had healed himself before he met Candy and falling in love with her was just another evidence of that.

Which brings us back to episode 17 of Love Life, our Honeymoon episode (and pay attention to the parts that I will mark in blue):

"Y'know, I honestly didn't think I would get over losing her. And then after you got in my classroom and into my life. So, yes, I should have a star up there shining for me. Because, with you, I understood the meaning of true love. And it wasn't the same of what I had with Chloé."

"Sometimes, I think, if the story/timeline was another, if I had met you first before I met her... She and I would've been simply friends, without anything else between us. If fate hadn't been so cruel with her, it would've ended like that anyway, actually. I think she would have been happy to see me so happy these days."

"Just like I would have been in seeing her meeting someone else just as important as you're for me. And when I think of her today, is in this way: as a friend that left too soon. And that, of course, I still get a little with my heart tight. She was someone wonderful/beautiful. There's still some of her in me. But, when I met you, I was like a ghost."

Only Rayan to friendzone the dead.

"Thanks to you and our love, she just became a beautiful star, just like my father..."

At first I thought he was saying that he never really loved Chloé and that Candy made him realize that (How? Don't ask me, he doesn't say how), but thinking about this post and re-reading everything made me rethink my first impression of it.

It's not so much that he didn't loved Chloé, but admittedly, and for reasons that Rayan didn't say, he thought love was something else and he thought he loved her because of that notion, and then his notion of love changed because he met Candy and now he thinks that love is truly what he feels for Candy.

I, as someone that played all of his route, can't really say or even figure out how he would've come up with that reasoning.

Was it because for the first time ever, he had put someone else on his top priority, or at least in a more important position than his reputation and career (which he deeply cares for)? But wasn't he a passionate person to begin with? So isn't it natural for him, once he was sure he fell in love for Candy, to put her as his top priority?

Was it Candy presence alone in his life, simply being there, what made him create that notion? How she taught him that?

I don't know, because the way they fell in love was pretty quick and pretty normal I would dare say - normal not in the sense of, he was her teacher, normal in the sense there was nothing remarkable about their dates, the way they sneak around or in their conversations.

I think if he had realize that falling in love with someone new meant that he had "healed" from his past trauma, that he only had feelings for her because he was ready to have feelings for someone again and the sense of normalcy and easiness he felt in being with her was all he ever wanted after going through so much sadness and heartbreak, then, it would make more sense and sound more realistic, maybe?

But again, they wanted to spin that Candy was special, she needed to be the one that changed him, that was like gravity to him and he could not resist the pull of her.

“... It's just that, with you, I never got under the impression of playing any kind of game. Because I had a lot to lose. Before I met you, I had accepted to never love again. I didn’t want to ever risk lose someone ever again... And, above all, you came to enroll in my course. I looked up and knew that my certainties were worthless...” (episode 14 LL)

That's why I talked about his career before.

They set up Rayan to be someone that loves his work, that cares about his reputation and his career, if not, as he only thing he had since he moved away from his family and was living alone.

Risk it all for Candy was to show that he wasn't playing, he wasn't just trying to get a kick out of it.

And knowing how he got after when Marina actually got him fired, how much of a mess it made him, this put things even more in context, it shows that truly, risk it all for her was no joke, even thou, they used to be pretty reckless about it (never gonna forget their first kiss, crazy, both of them).

Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of dialogue in Rayan's route, episode 15 LL, the marriage proposal dialogue:

"It’s funny... for a long time I thought that love was like a burning fire. And I even thought that, in my case, all that was left was ashes of it. Until I met you and I understood that I didn’t know anything. That I have got it wrong in my whole life. With you, I understood that love is like a stream/flow. A wave that breaks again and again without stopping. And that drags everything wherever it goes. You imposed yourself on me like an evidence. In the calm. I knew it right away. But I only understood it this well later on."

Think that love was like a burning fire: it lights up, it shines bright, it consumes itself, then it becomes ashes and there's nothing left of it.

Ouch, Rayan. 😢

Not to mention the destructive nature of fire, but I don't think Rayan or the person who wrote this scene thought it like that necessarily, I think it had more to do with how fragile and how it consume itself, which feels more how like I would expect from how Rayan described his relationship with Chloé before: intense, too quick to think everything through, the fighting, the feeling that it wouldn't last anyway.

Meanwhile Candy is like a strong wave or a strong stream, his love for her dragged everything with it: all his reasoning, his principles and scruples, the risk of losing his reputation, his career, AND breaking again and again, because it didn't matter if he had build any walls to keep her out in the begining, she somehow brought it all down.

Two kinds of love, one feeling less truth and lasting than the other.

While it would've better, in his head, to have remain just a friendship with Chloé, with Candy, there was no way for it to have ended just in friendship, it would always be more.

You can see the contrast between his feelings for Chloé and his feelings for Candy, how it was different and the key word should always be different.

It surprised me to see him talking about their wedding too, Rayan and Chloé married young and in a hurry (we will never know why), meanwhile, Rayan found Candy in a stage of his life when love wasn't even in the table and when it finally came back to the table, Rayan wanted everything, he wanted celebrate it having a proper wedding ceremony and all.

But those are little subtle things that they left out in the air, instead of saying it so clearly like they did so many times before.

Personally, I don't think would've make any sense for Rayan's character to haven't love Chloé, considering they built a life together before he even met Candy, the same way, I don't think we could've ever thought that Rayan loved Chloé more or even the same way he loved Candy.

Cuz, Chloé and Candy not only met him in different moments of his life BUT ALSO, they totally two different women, it would go without saying it.

But I guess, they wanted to make it even more screaming that it was the case, which I can understand why.

I mean, people thought that Rayan had really tried something with Marina, outside of his route: which for those people I always told it would be impossible.

It would go against what they presented to us about him during that first dialogue in episode 8 of UL and it would represent a contradiction in the writing itself. It would bend the rules that they set themselves to follow too grotesquely. Not to mention, MCL never gave other love interests to the Lis that stayed on the side lines.

Unless, of course, they had set things up that we would understand that Marina was such a special existence is moving like Candy - which, okay, I could've accepted it, but they didn't so. That's why I was so sure of it.

Y'know, have to read so much back in his route to make this post made saying goodbye to his route so hurtful but also so fulfilling, I always loved how they wrote him, despite having my criticisms, I am happy that I got to experience Rayan's route from the start to end.

If you haven't played his route like ever, I totally I encourage you to do it now that we got it all. xD

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

describing my MCL profile (with @mclmora's template :D)

hi! as you can guess I'm yet again thinking about MCL, as one does, and I thought filling this template could be fun :3 📸 user's profile + favorite outfits

💗 name: ?

💗 b-day: 08/12

💗 zodiac sign(s): Saggitarius Sun, Scorpio Moon.

💗 nationality: Salvadorian.

💗 favorite flirt(s): Lysander, Armin and Nathaniel.

💗 player since: 19/12/2015

🎮 Currently playing → Episode 32: Happy Life, Double Life! (Armin's route); Episode 29: The Love of Art (Lysander's route)

💘 lom meters (US server)

nathaniel, 95%

castiel, -52%

lysander, 95%

armin, 75% (💘)

kentin, 35%

❔answering questions: - which club did you pick? I picked the gardening club, because even though in real life I cannot take care of a plant for the life of me (i've tried) i'm even less... skilled, in sports lol. Don't get me wrong I think both things are fun but it's just not my thing.

headcanon time: My Candy signed up for the gardening club, befriended Jade (and had a crush on him at the start of the year) and because she was more a danger than anything in the garden (shenanigans ensue) , she ended up switching clubs, then became representative of her class (I imagine the high school has a lot of students, she's from a different section than the other characters on the first year.) and that's how she ended up befriending Melody and Nath. In the second year, Jade switches schools :c he was one of her best friends there.

-which is your favorite ep?

oh, don't ask me that :") I'll better give you a list in NO specific order because I really, REALLY can't choose: 17 (bye Debrah), 21 (the play!!!), 23 (nath's house), 31 and 32 (lysander's arc), 33 (iris party) and 40 the finale of course! - which non-datable character you like the most?

Priya wasn't datable in HSL so her lol, also Jade and Dajan are really cool in my mind, even thought they appear in only two episodes for some reason I always include them in my headcanons. Mmm, this is hard lol because I like a lot of characters from different reasons and it's hard to compare them to each other yk. Like, objectively we may feel more inclined to say Rosa or Alexy, but that's because we know them really well. But then there's Iris best girl for example, Leigh is also really nice. And then I have fanon versions of Melody and Karla that, in my mind, make me like them more...

It's tough man, but being honest, probably Amber because yes in HSL she was a BULLY I think, as a character, I really like her, she's compelling to me.

👩🏽‍🎓univerity life: to start

❔answering questions:

-what do you think of the removal of kentin, armin and lysandre?

because I have had a lot of time to reflect on this, and now we have alternative life and everything, I think it doesn't hit me as much as it did when I saw the news the first time. Of course it's still sad, because reading all the amazing headcanons people have for these three LIs for that season really makes me wish they did something different but hey! I think the new routes weren't as bad as people make them to be, because they constantly like to compare the new v.s. the old routes and that's not the point. The point is for people to have fun, and i've seen fanarts, fanfics and blogs dedicated to Hyun, Rayan and Priya :D also, adding Priya as a love interest IN MY OPINION was a really nice choice, a lot of people liked her before and now being able to date her??? queen, just give me the ring.

-which one is your favorite episode?

I haven't played this season myself, but i've watched the playthrough of it on YT (planetsucrette te adoro) and honestly? episode 15 "Emotional Rollercoaster" HAS to be at least in my top three for this season, yes i'm a nathaniel girlie but idk, all the drama and the build up and the illu!!! ugh it's so good, I really enjoyed watching it and I cannot imagine finishing that episode and have to WAIT for the continuation!!! the intrigue!!!

Also Rosa's story reaaally pulled my heart strings, i'm going to be honest with you, and there's a scene where Candy has this memory box and there's a bunch of photos from High School, and there's one with them and Alexy and the way they narrate that part is just- is fantastic, I loved it a lot. I think it's on ep 11.

-is there something you don't like about this season?

uh... well, for the longest time, I didn't even wanted to know what it was about, mainly because my interest remained in HSL and the fact that 2/3 of my boys weren't even there was not motivation, at all. There's nothing at the top of my head that I have to critique in general. Maybe if I gave it a little bit more thought, but eh, not in the mood.

💎 alternate life

lysander: (1st episode)

questions for you ♡

how do you feel about his new design?

i'm in love with his new design, not even going to lie to you. literal heart eyes every time i see him 💗💗💗💗💗

what do you think of his character development?

mmm... i think i said somewhere else in the SEA of post I have rambling about this game lol but, I agree with the sentiment that they could have took a different approach to his story in general. He's still charming, of course, but i'm completely biased in that.

non-datable characters that I love

yes the whole HSL cast. i don't care. they forever will live free in my mind.

general questions ♡

-how did you discover the game?

thanks to a friend who really liked anime :) she was my best friend at the time but I ended up falling in love with the game thanks to roleplaying with two of my best friends in the world + my new bestie because the other one switched schools lol. Now that I think about it, I don't know what her route was xd

Random fact: Those two friends I mentioned? They are both in love with Lysander and are always telling me they are going to steal him from me JAJAJAJA. All of us are head over heels for Armin though. One of them is Kentin's route and Castiel's route (yes, the complete opposites lol) and the other one loves Castiel TO DEATH. Also, my IRL bestie is also Castiel route and uh, quick question: Why does EVERYONE I know love Castiel while the dude literally hates ME? I'm saying like, in every damn account he always manages to be my LOWEST lom. Wanna know why? because I always befriend Nath.

-which one is your favorite special episode (ex: halloween 2011, easter 2012, ect)?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH NOOOOO DON'T DO THIS!!!!! but-

I have fond memories of playing the Valentine's 2018 event, it was the last one :"""") (i think). Why do I remember you ask? Because I did screamed when I saw this illu for the first time:

look at my boys. LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-have you played the spin-offs? if yes, which one was your favorite?

sadly no :c i'm short on AP yk, I'm a free to play girlie till the day I die.

💗 the end?

and that's the end :))) If you've read any part of this uh, thank u??? I started writing this tag as a fun silly activity but I ended up getting invested and thinking more about my silly AU. Also, you may have noticed I just call my candy "Candy" and that's not because they don't have names, but the reason is because they are my real names and I don't feel comfortable sharing them online!

I've tried to search for synonyms of my names to use for them, but they just don't feel like me and at the end of the day, My Candy Love is supposed to be played from your perspective and so, yes my candys have different personalities and dynamics with the characters but idk, they are based around me and so giving them other names doesn't really work for me??? it's a matter of preferences I guess.

i'm really fond of this game, but it's a part of me that i only get to talk openly about here on tumblr or with those 2-3 friends, so writing all of this was a sweet experience.

[the-skull-breaker]

so Eldarya is over now, uh... ?

I could say that I'm glad, but I'm actually mostly sad, sad because not only it was one of my first VNs and one of the ones that made me actually appreciate romance in fiction, but also because of the way Beemoov treated it starting with the end of season one to the whole second season, all the missing opportunities, the lack of actual romance and these underwhelming and boring last episodes, add to that the treatment of the characters, especially the ones that were gone, all of that fells so disheartening that I stopped playing the episodes since ep 17.

don't get me wrong, I still love Eldarya and I still hold it in a special place in my heart, and I did enjoy some things in ANE, but I guess I just wanted to get over it before it was over, just like how I never played ep 30 of TO after knowing Valkyon's fate, i don't know...

I'm still hoping MCL NewGen will be as great as Eldarya used to be, even though it's not in the context I'm used to, and I'm excited to have some fluff for my poor lonely heart.

[maddafuchagurl]

Hyun and Candy visited these nature wonders during an exciting day full of adventure!

[jxcotts]

i honestly dont know if this should be counted as a love confession, but lets say yes, so enjoy✨

STOPPP

[magic-belodie]

Summary of MCLLL Episode 17 of the dialogue from the choices that I didn't put in the illustration summaries

This summary only contains the dialogue that changes. I also put behind each choice the route of the Love interest that you can get this dialogue on.

Seems like a perfect introduction to me! (Hyun) Hyun and you are discussing what to do first at the hotel. Hyun suggests getting dinner in the restaurant. It seems like a perfect place to go. Hyun and you go to the restaurant. The view of the landscape there is perfect. You look at Hyun, he was already watching you. He still loves you and is so lucky that you crossed his path. Hyun could spend hours in your company. That is very sweet, but he should start eating. Otherwise, you are going to eat his food. Hyun is happy to share. You two have an amazing meal at the restaurant. And to think that it is only the first day. What a great idea! Let's hurry, if we want to take advantage of this sumptuous light. (Priya) Priya and you are discussing what to do first at the hotel. Priya suggests going to swim. You find it a great idea. Priya and you dive into the water. She swims towards you and takes you in her arms. Priya is so happy right now. And to think that it is only the first day. You two kiss while the sun starts to set. To be honest, I had a different kind of sport in mind. You shouldn't have provoked me with your little striptease... (Nathaniel) Nathaniel and you are discussing what to do first at the hotel. Nathaniel just jumped into the pool. You saw him undo his clothes and are in for something wild. Nathaniel comes with lightning speed out of the pool. He takes you in his arms and cares you into the bed. You both quickly take out all your clothes. Nathaniel lays next to you. You start kissing each other while your hands go over his body. Nathaniel takes the lead. You have to let out a few moans before he finally enters you. You let your hands wander in the sheet and close your eyes. It doesn't take long before you both come undone. You lay in Nathaniel's arms. Everything is perfect. Oh, don't worry! I'll enjoy you even better by being totally relaxed. (Rayan) Rayan and you are discussing what to do first at the hotel. You suggest getting a massage, while Rayan wants a wild moment. You tell him you would enjoy that even more after a massage. Rayan tells you that he never had a real massage. He means by a professional. He thinks that a massage from you isn't very conventional. You call them, they come up to your room. You lay next to each other while they are busy. Rayan asks himself why he waited so long. This is amazing. After the treatment, Rayan feels 10 years younger. But age doesn't matter to you, you will always love Rayan. You both go lay down on the bed and kiss. You fall to sleep in Rayan's arms. Okay, Mick. Let's go! We're here to enjoy ourselves, right? I'm going to heat up the jacuzzi. (Castiel) Castiel and you are discussing what to do first at the hotel. Castiel want to go into the jacuzzi. And you agree with him and go hit it up. 3 minutes later, Castiel joins you, and he has champagne and two glazes with him. He asks if you want a glass. You can choose your answer. This moment together in the jacuzzi is perfect. You are sitting on his lap, his eyes look emotional. Castiel never thought he would be this happy. He is so lucky you two met. You are his only destination. You feel the same. Castiel and you kiss. Well, for the occasion, a glass! (Castiel) Castiel asks you if you want a glass of champagne. For this occasion, you want to. He hands you a drink. Gladly. And the waiter too, please, young man. (Castiel) Castiel asks you if you want a glass of champagne. You want one gladly and also one for the waiter. Castiel gives you a glass and takes one himself. Actually, I'll have a glass of mango juice. I want to keep my mind clear... (Castiel) Castiel asks you if you want a glass of champagne. You want to have a mango juice instead. Castiel gives you a glass of mango juice. I totally feel up to it, but to tell you the truth, I had other… activities in mind, rather than a walk! (Eric) Eric and you are discussing what to do first at the hotel. Eric suggests going for a walk. But you want to do another activity. Eric doesn't understand what activity you mean. So you look at him and drop your towel. You go stand in front of him and start to unbutton his shirt and take off his pants. He grabs your butt, and pulls you against him. You put him on a chair and go sit on him. He held your hips while you had your arms around his neck. You start kissing each other while you find the right rhythm. Then he suddenly stops you. Eric wants to change position. You go sit on the chair with your hands on the railing. Eric goes to stand behind you. Eric puts his hands on your hips. You let out a moan while he enters you again. You close your eyes to surrender to your feelings. Eric finds soon the right rhythm and you both come undone. You kiss passionately, to think it was only the first day. If we want a refuge, shouldn't we... try to build one? (Priya) We should build a hut, or any shelter, don't you think? (Castiel and Nathaniel) How about using the time we have left to build a shelter? (Eric, Rayan and Hyun) Your lover and you are lost in the jungle. You two have come to the same place for the fourth time. Maybe you two should build a refuge or some shelter. Your lover will tell that it is kind of impossible to build a shelter. What you really need is an overview of the place. So you two can find a place where you can stay for the night. We have to make a weapon to defend ourselves in the event of a bad encounter. (Eric, Nathaniel, Castiel, Hyun and Rayan) If we have to defend ourselves... Shouldn't our priority be to make a weapon? (Priya) Your lover and you are lost in the jungle. You two have come to the same place for the fourth time. You two need a plan for the night. Maybe you should make a weapon. It is better to find a hiding spot. You two should go to the breathtaking overlook.   We should make marks on our way to avoid retracing our steps inadvertently. (Priya, Hyun, Nathaniel, Rayan, Castiel and Eric) Your lover and you have found the breathtaking overlook. You two decide that it is better to go to the volcano than to stay in the jungle. You suggest making marks on your way. It won't bring you forward. But it will prevent you from going the wrong way. Eric will suggest using a phone as a compass. You will agree with him. We have to try to find a stream. (Eric, Castiel, Rayan, Hyun, Nathaniel and Priya) Your lover and you have found the breathtaking overlook. You suggest finding a stream. Your lover agrees and you two start to listen to the water and try to find. Except Eric, he suggests using his phone as a compass and you agree. Yeah… You're probably right. Oh well, we'll make up for it later, when we get back to the hotel. (Hyun) Hyun and you are walking through the jungle. You think that it is wise to get some food. Hyun doesn't want to try out his luck. You agree with him and don't get any food. When you find the waterfall, you will fall and hurt your angle. Hyun will help you walk to the volcano. Since you two didn't get any food, you two are hungry after making the fire. At the moment, you have nothing to eat. You two just wait until you try to fall a sleep.   Yeah, but we don't know when, or even if, we'll be rescued tomorrow. (Hyun) Hyun and you are walking through the jungle. You think that it is wise to get some food. Hyun doesn't want to try out his luck. You tell him that you have no idea when you will be rescued. You two will get hungry and die from it. Hyun tells you that the human body can go several days without food. The guide told that there are some dangerous fruits, it is better not to try. You give into to Hyun. Hyun and you walk further. When you find the waterfall, you will fall and hurt your angle. Hyun will help you walk to the volcano. Since you two didn't get any food, you two are hungry after making the fire. At the moment, you have nothing to eat. You two just wait until you try to fall a sleep.   True, but... we can't take risks. (Priya) Priya is suggesting getting some fruit. You are afraid that it is too dangerous. You have convinced Priya and won't get any food. Since you two didn't get any food, you two are hungry after making the fire. At the moment, you have nothing to eat. You two just wait until you try to fall a sleep.   I don't know if it will make enough noise, but it's worth trying, I guess... (Castiel) Castiel and you find some coconut shells. Then suddenly a monkey tries to take your camera. You scream, but now there are monkeys all around you. Castiel suggests making some noise with the shells. You are not sure, but it can't hurt to try. But he didn't just make noise, he tried to make a song with it. The monkeys like it and start dancing. No one is watching you. You secretly find their fruit stake and take enough from it for the night. Castiel will tell you that you have done well. He keeps playing some music, so you can get away, and then he joins you. Together you walk further. No... I don't think that's a good idea. They look super pissed off. I'm going to give them my camera... (Castiel) Castiel and you find some coconut shells. Then suddenly a monkey tries to take your camera. You scream, but now there are monkeys all around you. Castiel suggests making some noise with the shells, or throwing them at the monkeys. But you think it's better to give the monkeys your camera. Better to loos pictures then to lose your self. Castiel agrees with you. You put down the camera gently. Castiel and you run away, while the monkey gets the camera. Castiel and you run until you find the river. Because you ran away and didn't take any fruit with you. Castiel and you have nothing to eat after making fire. You two just wait until you try to sleep.

Is there really a debate to be had? Already an ordinary bee sting hurts like crazy… (Priya) Priya and you try to get some fruit. But there are large bees looking creatures on the fruit bush. Priya asks you what you two should do. You think it is better to go. You don't want to test out their stings. Priya and you were so close to the goal. But you are probably right. Priya and you walk further to the volcano. Since you two didn't get any food, you two are hungry after making the fire. At the moment, you have nothing to eat. You two just wait until you try to fall a sleep.   Eww, those stink! Do they smell like… gas? But maybe that doesn't mean anything... (Nathaniel and Rayan) Your lover and you are trying to get some fruit. But you don't know which ones you should take. You suggest the fruit with the smell. We don't know if it is good, but we will find out tonight. You and your lover take the fruit with you. You still eat the fruit after making the fire, that dialogue goes the same. Those, maybe… They kind of look like little coconuts. But can we be sure..? (Nathaniel, Priya and Rayan) Your lover and you are trying to get some fruit. But you don't know which ones you should take. You suggest getting the coconut looking fruit. You two will find out tonight if the fruit is eatable. Your lover and you take the fruit with you. You still eat the fruit after making the fire, that dialogue goes the same. Do you think... that they are hungry? What should we do? Do we share our harvest? (Nathaniel) Nathaniel and you have come across an animal. It doesn't look that friendly. You ask your self if it is hungry. Nathaniel takes out one of his fruits and gives it to the animal. The animals start to eat it, and looks really cute. You stay watching for a few minutes before you continue your trip. Throw the fruit at them, Nath! They might be interested in it! We… we should run! (Nathaniel) Nathaniel and you have come across an animal. It doesn't look that friendly. You think you should throw fruit at them. Maybe then you and Nath can run away. You already started running. Nath goes after you and asks what you are doing. To Nath it didn't look like you two were in danger. Instinct came over you. You both have lost the path. It will take you half an hour to find it back. Nath leaves the food behind when you start running away, and he goes after you. You two have no food after making the fire. At that moment, you both stay hungry. And just wait until you try to fall a sleep. No, that's ridiculous! It's just going to upset it and it'll eat us alive. (Rayan) Rayan and you have come across a small tiger. Rayan tries to be dominant and make noise at the same time. You think that it is not going to work. Rayan is really surprised by your answer and turns his back to the tiger. You feel like that tiger could jump any minute on Rayan. But then suddenly a monkey jumps between Rayan and Tiger. The tiger goes after the monkey. It saved Rayan's life. You hope the monkey survives it. Rayan collapsed, you go over to him. He is okay, just a bit shocked. You two walk further together.  WAIT! I have an idea. HEY! OVER HERE! (Rayan) Rayan and you have come across a small tiger. Rayan tries to be dominant and make noise at the same time. But you start to make some noise on your own. The tiger turns towards you. It worked, it is not looking at Rayan anymore. The tiger comes closer to you. But you don't give it time and climb into a tree. You tell Rayan to do like you and also climb into a tree. The tiger comes closer but can't climb into the trees. The tiger looks very angry. You two stay in the trees for a while. Then a monkey climbs down from a tree. The tiger goes after it. You two have a clear path and get out of the tree and run away. After you two are safe, Rayan is happy and angry at the same time. Because the tiger came after you, it could have killed you, but you also saved Rayan's life. A real heroine. Together you continue your walk. Wait! Above all, don't move! It's still far away... Maybe it didn't see you. (Eric) Eric is trying to get coconuts from a tree. In the same tree, a snake has climbed and is blocking Eric's way down. You tell Eric not to move, maybe the snake hasn't seen him yet. Eric froze, but it turns out the snake has seen him. You tell Eric to jump. Eric fell backwards, he landed with a crash. You go over to him and ask if he is okay. Eric is, the flowers broke his fall. You were both scared. Eric tries to take you in his arms, but the flowers he fell in smell. You both start laughing. The snake has gone further up in the tree, it has already forgotten about you. When you have found the volcano, Eric will go for a swim to get the smell away. You need to find at that moment the wood and rocks for the fire. No choice! Jump! (Eric) Eric is trying to get coconuts from a tree. In the same tree, a snake has climbed and is blocking Eric's way down. You tell Eric to jump. He jumps down and land in some flowers. You go over to him and ask if he is okay.  You were both scared. Eric tries to take you in his arms, but the flowers he fell in smell. You both start laughing. The snake has gone further up in the tree, it has already forgotten about you. When you have found the volcano, Eric will go for a swim to get the smell away. You need to find at that moment the wood and rocks for the fire. I've racked my brain... but I really don't see anything we can do. Well… (Castiel, Nathaniel, Rayan, Eric, Priya and Hyun) Your lover and you have found a save place. You two need to drink. But you don't really have an idea how to filter it. Your lover and you will use a piece of clothing as a filter and drink from it. Do you mind bringing branches? There's a grove of trees over there. (Priya, Nathaniel, Castiel, Eric, Hyun and Rayan) Your lover and you need to make a fire. You ask your lover to get some branches for you. You will get some stones for the fire. Your lover goes into the jungle to find some wood. You stay in the gave and put some stones in a circle and keep one as a souvenir. Your lover comes back with wood under his/her arm. (There must be dead wood on the ground, I just have to look under the leaves.) (Castiel, Nathaniel, Rayan, Eric, Hyun and Priya) Your lover and you try to make some fire. You are in the forest to get some wood and try to take some dead wood from the ground. You get beaten by a plant on the ground. Your lover wants to save you, but you tell him/her to stay where he/she is. You free yourself and go back with some wood to your lover. We could use two branches and rub them together. (Priya, Eric, Nathaniel, Castiel, Hyun and Rayan) You and your lover try to make fire. You start to rub two branches together. It takes a very long time before something happens. But in the end you get the fire working. If you choose to take the sunscreen with you. You have taken your whole toilet bag with you. You find there in a nail clipper to make the branches shaper. It will make the fire go on faster. At least this trip will give us great memories for when we're old. (Hyun) Hyun and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. At least this trip will give you some great memories. Hyun doesn't look so happy after you said this. It's something his parents used to say against each other. We know what happened to them. But you want to stay at Hyun's side while you grow old. The divorce was really hard for Hyun. It is better now, but still weird. They all see each other a lot. But when the moment is over, they both go to their separate houses. And Hyun sometimes forgets that. On one side he wishes that his parents get back together and on the other side he wishes for them to be clearer about their break-up. You find it very good that they are still friends. Hyun just has a more radical conception of love. You like that about him. They were more friends than a couple in their relationship. The restaurant kept them together for a long time. But it makes Hyun appreciate more what you two have. And you survived this jungle. Next year, you two can climb the Mount Everest without a guide. You were just kidding. You two kiss in the light of the fire.

Somehow, this story allows you to put things into perspective. We are lucky to be alive... (Hyun) Hyun and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. This story will put things in perspective. That is true. This morning, Hyun couldn't think how things would change. You two should make a wish. You look at the sky and there are no shooting stars. Don't you need that to make the wish work? That is not the kind of wish Hyun was talking about. Hyun was more thinking like a good resolution. If you two come back a life, you will swear to do. But if you come back, you have been through the hardest part. Tomorrow, help will come. Hyun knows, it's better to choose a credible resolution. But also something special like the day we just had. You choose to say that you want to go to Amsterdam and see the van Gogh museum. In your studies, you worked a lot with his work. He is one of your favorite painters. And one day you would see his art in real life. But it is too far away, and it costs a lot of money. And in the end it will always be pushed back. But Hyun promises you that the next vacation trip will be to the museum. But Hyun has one condition; no tourist expeditions. You are okay with that and are curious about Hyun's wish. Hyun wants to get back into dancing for good. You know, he has some really great moves. The dance he did in your room, you found it funny and sexy at the same time. And not to forget the wet t-shirt contest. He loved to dance when he was a teenager. Hyun hasn't talked about that much, and that is because he didn't like that he stopped. He loved it, but he wasn't very good. So he couldn't do it seriously. And then real life came in the way. But now he has some time left since his sisters are also in the business. He still has to decide which style he wants to do, when he is back. You tell him to just go with the flow. Hyun stands up and goes dancing and asks you to be his only dance partner and join him in lessons if he needs a partner. You agree. You two kiss in the light of the fire. What a day, right... It makes you reconsider quite a few things, don't you think? (Priya) Priya and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. This was an interesting day. It makes you think about things Priya was thinking about last year. She kind of misses social law a little. Crowstorm took all her time. And defending artists against who wants to exploit them fits Priya well. Priya wants to go back to it. The whole thing with Rayan shook it up. Priya regrets the most that she got corrupted by Renate. It was her idol, you understand it. But it is also the motivation why Priya wants to go back. Priya will probably meet Renate in court and then Priya could beat her. Priya wants to bring people real justice, instead of what Renate did. That is why when Priya goes back, she will always have one pro bono case. You remind Priya that you first have to finish your honeymoon. Priya has lots of energy for both. You two kiss in the light of the fire. We must still be a bit on edge. I've never been as stressed as I was today. (Priya) Priya and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. You have never been as stressed as you were today. For Priya, there has been a moment where she was more stressed. When she visits the Louvre for the first time. Priya never told you about this moment before. Because it was not very glorious. Priya was 16 Years old and lived in Belgium. She went there with school, and had all kinds of things in her head to do that weren't on the program. Tara, one of her classmates, had an aunt in Paris. They were both invited for dinner. At that dinner, Tara went to the bathroom and called with her aunts phone the teacher. She pretended to be the aunt and arranged that Priya and her could stay at her aunts house for the night. Tara and Priya said goodbye to Tara's aunt and got into a taxi. They were thinking about going to clubs the whole night. They were outside and saw that the Louvre was having a late night opening. Tara and Priya went into the museum. But it was already late, and they couldn't see much. So they came up with the idea to get locked in at night in the museum. Tara and Priya went to the bathroom and waited for the museum to close. After the museum closed, there wasn't much light to see. They used their phones as light. But they saw security right away. Priya and Tara realized that what they did was wrong. Maybe they would have been seen as art thieves and be moved from the country. So they tried not to get caught, and they succeeded. But when Priya thinks back now, she thinks that the guards were very easy on them and probably knew what was going on. The next morning, the light was turned on for cleaning. They manged to get out of the museum that morning. Priya and Tara never went again to the Louvre. Too afraid to be recognized. You realize that you are married to a burglar. Now there are no more secrets between you two. You two kiss in the light of the fire. What a day... I was constantly on edge because of the potential dangers... (Nathaniel) Nathaniel and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. It was quite the day. You don't know how Nath does it. Going undercover, thinking that everything could go wrong at any moment. Nath doesn't think about that, the only thing he thinks about is not getting caught. Plus, he always had Eric as back-up. He trusted him. You don't know what to say. You haven't talked much about Eric lately. It doesn't hurt Nath anymore. He can still see the beautiful moments. Eric was a friend and mentor to him. He does miss what Eric and him had. You think it is excellent that Nath looks at it in that way. Nath smiles and asks if he told you how they met. Nath was arrested by his coworker. They didn't have much against him. Nath was at the wrong place at the wrong time. The cell was overfull, and they hand caught Nath next to Eric's desk. Eric was playing chess on his computer. He didn't know much about chess. His wife suggested playing it. Nath gave him some tips that day. A week later, Eric saw Nath and Nath couldn't hide the stuff he had with him. But luckily, that is not what Eric was here for. Eric saw potential in him and offered him help. The rest of the story you know. You are happy with how this changed Nath's life. Nath and you give each other a hug. You two kiss in the light of the fire. Still... look how far we've come since Sweet Amoris! (Nathaniel) Nathaniel and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. You two have come far since sweet Amoris. Who would have fought that you end up here in this situation. Nath thinks about that a lot. What would have happened if you didn't come back into his life. Nath would have become a heartbreaker. Living on the street and in the gym. You are probably right. But without you, his world is empty. But Nath didn't seem lonely when you found him. How many women did he had at that time. Nath doesn't understand that you want to talk about that. He doesn't want to talk about it. But you are curious and start to count. But Nath doesn't really know the number. He was not in a good place at that time. Nath is ashamed of it. The only thing he tried was to forget you with those women. But he couldn't and from some of those women he didn't even know the names. He felt empty until he saw you again. When Nath is with you, he can be himself. You wish things had gone differently. But now you are with him until the end of time. Nath already knew back in high school that you were the one for him. He had to be who his parents forced him to be. But you were so happy, so free. He wanted to feel like that. Since then, he tried. You two kiss in the light of the fire. So, my darling, were you trying to run away from me? (Rayan) Rayan and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again and ask Rayan if tried to run away. You know very well that Rayan hasn't succeeded in that. And it is not like he didn't try. You were just joking, but now you are curious what he means. When you two met, it wasn't like there was a possibility for a relationship. It was even a little shocking. You don't know, You don't ask your self many questions. That is because Rayan pleased you very quickly. You start to like him from his first lesson. It was the same moment for Rayan. You remember the whole lesson and the encouragement after it. The same evening, Rayan was thinking about you, more than he should. Of course, back then he tried to lie to him self. Say like there was nothing going on. But after some time, Rayan had to admit. Your charm stimulated the relationship as your intellectually. Rayan felt like he was 15 again. But he wasn't and he was your teacher. He also had some strict principles in this area. But you both felt it and both couldn't run away from it. And now you two are here together in front of a fire on your honeymoon. You two kiss each other in the light of the fire.

Makes you feel very small, huh? The universe is so mysterious... (Rayan) Rayan and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. The universe is so mysterious. These times make Rayan miss his dad the most. Rayan doesn't talk about his dad very often. Rayan's dad often said that he was just smart enough to realize his ignorance. Rayan drew inspiration from his dad's humanity. Rayan is smart himself. And he knows that and shouldn't be ashamed of it. Rayan is smart in culture. His dad was an astrophysical researcher. Because of his dad, Rayan wanted to do something in the university area. You ask Rayan if he was interested in the science, Rayan was. But the rebel in him made him choose art history. You ask how his dad took it. His dad supported him in what ever Rayan wanted to do. His dad had a great way of reading paintings. Rayan learned a lot from his dad. You would have loved to meet him. Rayan is sure that his dad would have liked you. You ask Rayan if he misses his dad a lot. But his mother misses his dad more. And if things are true, his dad is now in the sky as a star. You hug Rayan, and then he kisses you in the light of the fire.         Still, what a day. Can you imagine if... Well, if... We hadn't made it? (Castiel) Castiel and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. It was quite a day. What if you didn't make it. Castiel says that you shouldn't think about that. He would collapse on the spot. The only positive thing about it, is that he would have ended up by your side. But to think about how his parents would feel makes Castiel really sad. He is their only child. You tell Castiel not to think about it. Castiel and you two are safe here at the fire. You ask Castiel if he ever wanted brothers or sisters. Not really, it forced to build himself outside. With his parents not being home often. You ask Castiel if he missed them a lot. For most of the time it was fine, but he does wish they to be there on certain occasions. But Castiel did have a happy childhood. And they enjoyed great vacations together. And trusted Castiel to be alone so much. It gave him a lot of self coincidence. And this way, he had a lot of time for his music, and his first step to get a band. If Castiel could do it again, he wouldn't change much. The only thing Castiel did regret was leaving you after high school. It goes the same for you. But you found each other again. You two kiss each other in the light of the fire. So... You don't regret giving up your life as a single rock star to end up stuck here with me? (Castiel) Castiel and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. You ask Castiel if he regrets being here with you instead of being a rock star. He doesn't regret it. He would have done it all the same, except to find you sooner. You are curious what happened in those years that you two weren't together. But Castiel doesn't feel like telling. He also doesn't want to know what happened with your love life at that time. It is in the past. You tell Castiel to relax. Then he tells you, that there weren't many girls at that time. The only one that matters is you. Then you ask him when he fell in love with you. He didn't like you at first, you were on a mission for Nath. But he got to know you. You always had so much energy. Didn't let you comment around and still try to help others. You also didn't like him at first. You thought he was too sure of him self. But you got to know him, high school was just a step for him. One day he will grow up. But he already had responsibilities. Castiel took care of Demon. You were teasing Castiel a bit. Pancake and you are very lucky with Castiel. He has become the best version of himself. You two kiss each other in the light of the fire. 

You and your coffee... I'm going to end up believing that you only got close to me for that. (Eric) Eric and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. Eric thinks he could sleep if he could have a drink of coffee. You think that maybe that is the reason that Eric got close to you. Of course, who would otherwise help you close the café. He first did because he liked helping you. You ask him when his reason changed. Eric doesn't know exactly. It took a while before he gave into it. But there was one night he kept repeating the conversations you two had. He was trying to see that night if you felt something for him. It would make it easier for him to admit. Those little evening moments were also the moment that you started to feel something. After the dinner in the restaurant, Eric knew his life was going to change. But you were in a complicated situation at that moment in relationship with someone else. It was time for Eric to change, so he did something he thought he would never do. You both would regret it, if Eric didn't set that step. You two kiss each other in the light of the fire. When we met, did you imagine that we'd end up here, in this situation? (Eric) Eric and you try to sleep, but you both can't. You go sit back up again. You ask Eric if he thinks you two had ended up here, in this situation. It would have been this or a traveling circus act. Eric didn't imagine this, really. His sentimental horizon was darker back then. You ask if he still thinks about his last relationship. Eric doesn't and isn't sure what that says about him. You understand him. They were married for years. The only thing that tied them together was their home. They could never make each other happy and didn't spend much time together. Eric still hopes that his ex has found happiness. But now that he is with you, he knows what happiness really is and very happy that the last relationship ended. You ask if it really was that bad. Eric has to think a bit and then says that happiness is something to be experienced. It can't be planned. You know you two can drift apart, but to hear Eric's story. Eric and Melissa build their story on a misunderstanding. They met to mutual friends and shared some interests. Melissa thought it was great that he was an inspector and loved his field stories. And Eric liked to tell them to Melissa. So they got married. The problem is that having a detective boyfriend is exciting and original. But detective husband isn't. She wanted children, and he didn't because it wouldn't work with his job. Eric stayed on the same line as before the marriage, but Melissa changed after it. Eric tried to change two, but he couldn't. Arguments became their daily life. He needed you, it is that simple. You two kiss each other in the light of the fire.

Perfect! That means we're on the right path! And don't worry, I still have enough energy left... (Hyun) Hyun and you are trying to find your way back after sleeping a night in the jungle. You two have found the waterfall from yesterday. You are on the right track and Hyun asks you if you need a break. Yesterday you felt and hurt your angle. But since you are going on the right track, you have enough energy to keep walking. So Hyun and you walk further. Good... Because my ankle still hurts. (Hyun) Hyun and you are trying to find your way back after sleeping a night in the jungle. You two have found the waterfall from yesterday. You are on the right track and Hyun asks you if you need a break. Yesterday you felt and hurt your angle. You rest a bit, but then you hear the sound from the jeep. Hyun and you run towards it. I'm exhausted, I only want one thing: to sleep! (Priya) I think we deserve a good night's sleep! (Nathaniel) I'm exhausted... I think I'm going to enjoy the best night of my life. (Hyun) Your lover and you are back from the jungle. Your lover suggests having a wild night, but you feel more like sleeping. He/she totally understands. You two go lay in the bed with your arms around each other and the episode ends. You can take my spot, if you want. (Eric) Eric and you have come back from the jungle. You are siting in the bad tube. Eric wants to join you. You tell him he can take your place, you want to sleep. Eric understands and goes with you to the bed. You two lay in each other's arms and the episode ends. 

Aren't you tempted by a good nap instead? (Rayan) Rayan and you are back from the jungle. Rayan is swimming in the pool. While you are laying on a pool seat. You ask Rayan if he wants to take a nap. Rayan would enjoy that. But maybe you first want to get in the pool. You join him in the pool for a while. After getting out, you go sit on a chair together. Let the sun dry you up. You both feel totally happy here in each other's arms. The episode ends.     I'm sorry, but I only want one thing: shower and then sleep! (Castiel) Castiel and you are back from the jungle. You went into the shower. Then Castiel joins you, but he is not here for the shower. You are sorry, but you just want to shower and then sleep. Castiel understands and waits his turn. After both your showers, you lie in each other's arms on the bed. The episode ends.

[findnathaniel]

So I fell right into MCL New Gen and I am pleasantly surprised? So meet my new darlings for whom I still need to make some more personality up!

For my American account - Gvaudoin, ideally sweet personality, highest love meter is Thomas at the moment! I played completely blind and it was a blast!

And my German account's sucrette - Leah, ideally rebellious personality and, because I am a victim, romancing Jason right now. It's really fun so far and I am excited for the new episode in 17 days!

[mademoiselle-red]

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[postsforposting]

found some citations:

It is now understood that the serum total tryptase level much more reflects the total body MC load than the total body MC activation state[40-42]. As such, serum tryptase is expected to be elevated in mastocytosis but usually is elevated little to none in MCAS. “Spillover” into blood circulation of tryptase and other MC mediators initially released in the tissues can be influenced by many factors. Hence, a normal value for a mediator in blood or other bodily fluid does not rule out its unregulated release in tissue. In fact, about 20% of SM patients present with serum tryptase < 20 ng/mL[37,43,44], but such patients rarely harbor the more advanced forms of SM [aggressive SM (ASM) and MC leukemia (MCL)] which require therapeutic approaches different from those used for the more common indolent SM and MCAS. Marrow aspiration/biopsy, an uncomfortable procedure for some patients, is warranted in cases of suspected mastocytosis but seldom yields diagnostic findings in cases of MCAS not already manifesting significant hematologic abnormalities (LBA and GJM, unpublished data). Therefore, a serum tryptase persistently elevated to > 20 ng/mL in two or more specimens facilitates an initial decision whether to evaluate further for SM with biopsies as appropriate including at least marrow, and possibly also skin, upper and lower gastrointestinal (GI) tract mucosa, and potentially other tissues, especially those at the environmental interfaces. An initial serum tryptase < 20 ng/mL makes SM (especially ASM and MCL) much less likely, and since the prognosis of, and therapeutic approach toward, indolent SM and MCAS are presently indistinguishable, there appear to be no adverse consequences if the clinician initially misdiagnoses the uncommon low-tryptase SM as MCAS.

Afrin LB, Molderings GJ. A concise, practical guide to diagnostic assessment for mast cell activation disease. World J Hematol 2014; 3(1): 1-17 [DOI: 10.5315/wjh.v3.i1.1]

In time, the enormous complexity of the biology of tryptase in its many isoforms would become more apparent [15], and it also would become more apparent that serum tryptase levels reflect the total body load of MCs far more than their activation state. [16, 17] kin et al. proposed a fundamentally new conceptual- ization that all mast cell disease first and foremost manifests aberrant mast cell activation, thus engendering a new “top-level” designation of “mast cell activation disease” (MCAD) to describe the full range of pathologic mast cell states. The proliferative (and rare) diseases of cutaneous and systemic mastocytosis would comprise one element of MCAD, while the (increasingly apparently quite prevalent) various forms of the relatively non-proliferative mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) would comprise the other principal element of MCAD. Akin et al. further ventured that a diagnosis of MCAS would be permitted if the patient demonstrated repeated episodes consistent with aberrant mast cell mediator release, laboratory evidence of such release, absence of any other diseases better fitting the entirety of the clinical picture, and demonstration of at least partial response to therapy targeted at MCs or MC mediators. However, it almost immediately became evident that the mutational heterogeneity of MCAS leads to heterogeneity of not only clinical presentation but also therapeutic responsiveness, rendering the criterion for therapeutic response somewhat impractical. [41] Valent et al. released an updated proposal for diagnostic criteria for MCAS only a year later in which the requirement for therapeutic response was relaxed (i.e., desirable but not necessary). [42] Given the paucity of highly sensitive and specific markers for mast cell disease and the challenges in finding aberrant expression of even those few markers, Valent et al. also proposed a new way to interpret the serum tryptase level. The serum tryptase level, long a staple in diagnosing SM, is virtually always elevated little to none in MCAS, likely due to the relative dearth of MC proliferation in MCAS.

In: Mast Cells ISBN: 978-1-62618-166-3 Book chapter 6, 2014

Sorry about the formatting on that one, that's how it is on the page. These are both from the same guy and might be referencing the same data.

I got my biopsy results today. The good news is there's no new or unknown disease wrecking my insides.

The bad news is it's most likely my MCAS burning down my GI tract.

I say "likely" because the GI doctor had the humility to admit the medical world doesn't know enough (yet) about conditions like MCAS to say for sure, only that the areas biopsied showed elevated numbers of mast cells and that the inflammation and damage are consistent with mast cell dysfunction.

I got to watch in real-time as the GI doctor added the mast cell stabilizers to my regimen of meds, the exact ones the allergist denied me 3 years ago because he said I needed psych treatment and was mistaking anxiety for anaphylaxis because I 'googled too many things.'

Part of me hopes the allergist gets notified and chokes to death on eating crow. A larger part of me is just relieved it happened before I developed internal bleeding or cancer.

Anyway. We're testing new meds soon to try and bring down my base inflammation to something lower than "my insides literally feel like they're burning."

I'm also starting even more supplements to try and combat the mass deficiencies likely being caused by the MCAS inflammation. I've been told to take twice the daily recommended amount of pre-natal supplements on top of my existing regimen, and if that fails, they'll start infusions. (The hope is that my stomach isn't so far gone that oral meds won't help, so fingers crossed.)

Apparently, this is the year we finally stop my gradual death from malnutrition for good. Well, better late than never, I guess.