#mbjkfghjkbjsgfob not going to put this in the tags bc im scared

[malf-oy]

any of y'all into blind item gossip? basically, it's celeb gossip that is published without any names (hence the 'blind' part)

i've been dabbling with a fic idea centered around the prophet running blinds about Draco (Mr. Irrelevant) and Harry (Our Hero). just wanted to share a sampling:

This A-List War Hero that’s remained in the spotlight in thanks only to the recognizability of his name was caught canoodling with someone other than his C-List Quidditch Player Wife this week. Yes, it would seem Our Hero has dabbled in something much darker than his reputation would have you believe. Who was our Hero spotted with? Some may call him Prince of Darkness, others might call him Heir to Nothing, but we’ll call him… Completely Irrelevant. And yes, you read that correctly. Our Hero has taken to back alley rendezvous with another man. That would hardly be noteworthy in this day and age were it not for the continued existence of his Wife. Our Hero and Mr. Irrelevant have been spotted together on numerous occasions over the past several months, but only this week were they caught in an undeniably inappropriate act outside the Soho nightclub Vamp. What will his wife have to say about that? We wouldn’t know, she’s not been in the country for months. If anyone finds themselves in the States, we welcome them to find out and report back any juicy details. 

i've just been listening to the Beyond the Blinds podcast so much that all of my thoughts are structured in the format of blind items. blinds basically exist to insist that all celebs are secretly gay lmao