#maybe this should've stayed in the drafts idk

[undescribed1mage]

I love Ricky Potts I wish lesbians were real

[axeylotl]

thinking abt Jack and Roger's similarities. the ones I can think of are pretty superficial but I also think they're really compelling. for what, idk. not 100% sure they were intentional even. but

orange

black "eye" with white, rectangular "pupil"

(like, seriously. if you wanted to translate Jack into a phonehead you couldn't pick a better one than Roger's)

history of alcohol issues

springlocked by a bear suit, specifically

connections to dogs (Roger having had a dog isn't particularly special by DSaF standards, but it could say something that it was notable enough to be brought up.)

again, idk what its supposed to mean, if it was even intended in the first place. I just think about it a lot. blehhh

lotta wild speculation under cut

Maybe Roger's story was meant to peek into what Jack's could have been, had he not accepted or been offered fredbear's deal. Becoming a phone, alone and forgotten. Leaving behind little family, and the family that does remain never caring that he's gone. Burying himself in Freddy's to escape all his old mistakes (which, of course, is something Jack already does do throughout the series, DSaF 3 in particular)

the personalities are obviously very different, but the circumstances were so similar

(this next bit is flimsier, and I don't 100% believe it myself. maybe 30%-70%, depending on my mood)

then of course there's Jake, to complete the orange/purple dichotomy. If you want to go down the color symbolism route, you could make an argument that Jake's story is somehow an alternative angle/route to Dave's

though, tbh, I'm not nearly confident enough in my understanding of Jake or Dave's characters to draw any conclusions there atm, if there are any to be found. there might be something to say about Jake being the only phone we meet to have a child/connection to fatherhood as a concept

In this interpretation, Roger's nervous people-pleasing and Jake's abrasiveness would likely have been meant to do the same to Dave's dog-like loyalty and Jack's... all of it.

what I mean by "alternative angle" is that it's a distortion, almost. You take some of the same key reference points (being rude and standoffish / constantly putting other people before oneself) and put it in a different form (festered aggression taken out on anyone, cynical bitterness for those who cause & prolong your pain / being desperately & proactively devoted for fear of abandonment, being a quiet & malleable doormat for fear of punishment)

uh. dunno where Harry would fit into this take. if you're gonna draw parallels between Harry and any other character, it would be Dave, imo. 100%

again, I really don't think about Jack and Dave very much, so if any of this reading is fucky/stupid/other synonym for "this should've stayed in drafts" that's my bad. I'm lazy

[cielcius]

Bakugou standing outside your room about to knock when he hears you moaning and thinks you’re doin, uh, something. when really, you’re watching a really intense cooking show and your favorite contestant just dropped their quiche with only twenty minutes left on the clock

[aldbooks]

IDK if you do random prompts but could you do one where Azriel challenges Lucien to a blood duel (Elain doesn't want it/doesn't know about it) and Lucien is like nah, why would I fight a blood duel for someone who doesn't talk to me and peaces out of the NC, etc and then Elain realizes she should've given Lucien a chance and maybe goes after him?

sorry, that was long and a giant mess but I love your one shots and I just had to ask!

Honestly I’d been wanting to write something like this. I have a very rough draft I never published in my cloud somewhere but in that one Lucien’s forced into it and basically everyone and their brother gets involved it’s very messy 😂

Truth be told, I've tried multiple times to write this prompt, and each draft inevitably began to spiral out of control. This is the first somewhat coherent one I've been able to manage

---

His distracted thoughts were the only thing Lucien could blame for not noticing what he was walking into. For not sensing her, for not smelling them together as he rounded the corner in the garden and found Elain and Azriel tucked behind a vine covered wall, hidden from view of the house. There was no pretending he didn't know what was going on with them any longer. It was far too late to turn around and walk in another direction, letting them continue on with their clandestine meetings, thinking he was none the wiser. Not when he was confronted with the scene before him now.

Elain, for her part, blushed crimson and tried to push away but Azriel did not release his hold on her as he turned a cold glare on Lucien for interrupting them. Judging by the redness around her lips and the tousled state of her curls, it didn't take much to determine just how ardent they'd been just a moment before.

The pain of seeing it for himself, rather than simply knowing it was happening, was much sharper than he expected but he kept his face passive as he awaited the inevitable confrontation. Turning away now would make him seem a coward and he refused to be that. 

"My lady," he said, nodding to his mate and then the Shadowsinger. "Azriel."

The male bristled at the use of his name rather than title. A bit juvenile perhaps but was he not allowed to be at least a little bit petty, given the situation?

"Enjoying the fine weather?" he asked, briefly eyeing the sunny skies of early summer that were now leaning towards evening. Elain clung to Azriel now, her face a mask of terror. Wether she expected him to attack her or him, Lucien wasn't sure but he had to swallow down a disgusted scoff at the insinuation that he would resort to violence at all, like some uncivilized brute. That might be how her lover preferred to handle things, but Lucien preferred a more- tactful approach.

"What are you doing here, Vanserra?" Azriel growled, pushing Elain behind him as though he too expected a fight. 

Lucien fought a flinch at the use of his surname as well as the urge to roll his eyes at such dramatics. He was furious, sure; humiliated, most definitely, but he was a courtier. He fought with words, not fists. The fact that even the much lauded Spymaster did not seem to realize this was almost laughable. 

"I was just delivering my latest report to Rhysand and Feyre. They invited me to stay for dinner. I thought to take a stroll through the gardens until then. I had not realized it was occupied," he said dryly as though he were unaffected by finding them here. 

"Yes," Azriel replied cooly. "I'm sure you did expect to find the gardens empty of their usual inhabitant." His tone clearly conveyed his skepticism that Lucien had not come out here specifically seeking his mate who was well known to spend most of her time toiling away in the flower beds. 

He did not point out that the gardens were certainly big enough for them both to avoid each other should they wish. He also did not point out that while he may have been too distracted to not note their location, so too had they. Though, Lucien was a bit surprised his shadows had not alerted him to his approach. He tried not to stare at them, though his mechanical eyes tracked their agitated movements. 

Then again, perhaps they had warned him and he'd simply chosen to do nothing. Perhaps he'd even wanted to get caught. He certainly seem to be all that surprised or embarrassed at having been found out.

Just for that reason, Lucien would not give him the satisfaction of rising to the bait. He smiled blandly. "Given the late hour, I thought it safe to assume everyone indoors. I know ladies prefer to avoid too much sun." At this, he flicked a glance at the freckles scattered along the bridge of Elain's nose that had not been there when he'd last seen her. 

"If you'll excuse me," he said, bowing his head slightly. "Since this particular path seems to be crowded, I'll choose another."

He turned his back on them, knowing it would piss the Shadowsinger off to be dismissed and had barely taken two steps when a low, menacing voice said- "release her."

Against his better judgment, Lucien paused and slowly turned back around, eying the male impassively. "I beg your pardon?"

"Release her," he repeated.

Lucien's eyes narrowed slightly. "You know perfectly well, Spymaster that it is not within my power to do so. If the lady does not wish to be bound to me, then she may reject the bond herself, as I'm sure she has been told by now. And in any event, I have made no claim on her, she is free to decide what she wants for herself."

"She doesn't want you," he growled. Behind him, Elain cowered, curling into herself, her face drained of color. 

"Do you presume to speak for her?" Lucien said cooly, holding the Shadowsinger's gaze in challenge. 

Azriel bristled, his massive wings rustling at his back. "She is-"

"Perfectly capable of speaking her own mind," Lucien countered before the other male could finish what was sure to be a spectacular display of male pride. Elain said nothing but he did notice that she'd backed away from Azriel a step or two which gave him some satisfaction. 

"She doesn't want you," he said again, his eyes growing colder with every word. "You know this, everyone knows this. She has never wanted you and never will want you. And you will never be good enough for her."

It was only years of practice in taking thinly veiled insults to his face that allowed Lucien to let this one slide over him and off his back without the slightest change in expression, but he still felt the words sliding over his skin in an oily drizzle that whispered the truth of them. 

"Then she can tell me so herself." His gaze slid to Elain once more. She had backed even further away from the other male, her eyes wide, but still she said nothing.

"I challenge you." The words were snarled out through bared teeth as the Shadowsinger's body seemed to vibrate with fury. 

Lucien stilled, his gaze flicking back to Azriel as something dark began to unfurl in his chest. Some long buried beast he'd almost forgotten about. "Excuse me?"

In a flash of shining metal, Lucien found himself staring down the blade of the famed Truthteller. Elain gasped loudly but Lucien did not even flinch. "I challenge you to a Blood Duel," Azriel said in a voice like death. "If you will not let her go, I will make you."

Lucien laughed. He could not help it, though the sound held no mirth whatsoever. This only seemed to make the Shadowsinger angrier. From the corner of his eye, he could see Elain glancing between them with a panicked expression. "No," he said simply.

Azriel blinked as though he had not been expecting the answer before thrusting his blade at him again. "You will accept. And you will be defeated."

Lucien laughed again, with a touch more amusement this time. "You really are arrogant, aren't you?" he said, casually brushing the notorious blade aside. "You assume that because I prefer not to fight with weapons that I do not know how to use them. Or perhaps, it is that because I chose to use my magic rarely, you think I have little of it? There is a reason my brothers thought me a threat to them. And you seem to have forgotten who trained me. I may not be an Illyrian warrior but I promise, you would not find that battle so easily won as you think."

"Then you are a coward to not accept."

He barked another laugh. "No. I am a smart male who would rather not waste his time, or deal with the fallout that would surely follow," he said disdainfully.

"I am not a barbarian. I will not hold an unwilling female to an agreement that does not exist. The bond was never accepted, she is well able to reject it and I will not force her decision either way. If she tells me she wishes me to go, then I will. I have no desire to fight to the death for a female who has no interest in me. That would be the height of folly."

Lucien flicked his gaze to Elain once more, finding her gaze locked on Azriel.

---

Elain watched in growing horror as Azriel persisted in his attempt to draw Lucien into a fight. That horror was coined by fear and disgust when Lucien revealed that this Blood Duel Azriel insisted upon was a fight to the death. It was utterly savage and she could only stare at the male she had thought of as so tender and kind, threatening to kill her mate over something she realized he had no control over. 

She could reject it. 

The thought swirled through her mind in a tangle of thoughts. Lucien spoke as if this knowledge should be known to her, but it was not. No one had ever told her it was even an option. She supposed it was because none of those around her could fathom rejecting one's mate. Never mind that her sisters had not exactly had easy starts with their own mates. She was quiet certain that at one point, Nesta would've been just as happy to see Cassian dead. 

Azriel did not seem to give much thought of concern to the notion of rejecting a mate. Odd, considering what she knew of the esteem the fae held for such rare bonds. Neither did Lucien, for that matter, if he was able to speak about it so blithely, as though it were a given that he would simply concede should she choose not to accept him.

And that seemed even odder still. 

From what she had been told, both of her sister's mates had been unrelenting in their pursuits, particularly when her sisters had been at the height of their resistance to the bond. And yet, Lucien had never displayed an ounce of the territorial aggression she had expected. A fact she was only just realizing as she watched him bat away Azriel's attempts to draw him into a fight. In fact, he continuously tried to pull her into the conversation that Azriel did not seem to deem fit for her participation. Never mind that she was the subject.

She could feel Lucien's gaze on her, but she could not peel her horrified gaze from Azriel as she began to see the layers of civility he wore like a mask, peeling away to reveal something truly terrifying. So this was the the Shadowsinger? The cruel Spymaster that everyone seemed to cower in fear of? She stared at him as though seeing him truly for the first time. She wasn't altogether sure she liked what she saw. 

"Accept," Azriel demanded, growing visibly agitated by Lucien's refusal to be the slightest bit intimidated by him. Bold, really, for someone with half of Azriel's years of experience and training. 

Lucien sighed, his lashes fluttering as though he wanted to roll his eyes. "First of all, only an Autumn Court male can issue a challenge, which you decidedly, are not."

"You are Beron's son-" Azriel started to argue. 

"And I have not claimed my father's house in over two hundred years," fire sparked in Lucien's eyes, seeming to give even Azriel pause. "As you're well aware. Not to mention that, personally, I find the entire practice archaic and primitive. "

Azriel did not miss the insult, neither did Elain as she watched the male's wings flare wide, heedless that she was only a few feet away. Luckily she had stepped far enough away to avoid getting hit. Silently, she agreed with Lucien's assesment of the situation. 

"Secondly," he continued. "Seeing as the Night Court long ago banned such duels, how do you imagine your High Lord would feel about your insistence upon, and participation in one?"

Gone was the flippant attitude Lucien had been sporting until this moment. He spoke the words with such coolness, the sharp edge of warning evident as he seemed to happen upon the one argument that finally gave Azriel pause. She could see it in the set in his jaw and the clenching of his fists. Rhysand would not like it. And Azriel hated to disappoint his brother. 

If Lucien was right, and the Night Court had banned duels over disputed females, Rhysand would have to punish Azriel if he persisted in this course. He would not have a choice, not if he wished to retain the integrity of his position. She could only imagine what kind of punishment such a transgression would demand. 

"Free her."

Elain tried not to sigh aloud at the relief that flooded her when he seemed to finally give up his quest. Still, she was growing tired of being spoken of as though she were not standing right here, incapable of speaking for herself.... just as Lucien had said. 

"I was not aware she was trapped- at least, not by me," Lucien replied drily, looking in her direction. "I have no wish for bloodshed, and I cannot imagine that you do either." He was still looking at her as he said this. Azriel did not so much as glance sideways at her.

"You don't even want her," he snarled.

Lucien shrugged. "Then you have nothing to worry about. If you're what she wants, then bless you both. I will not stand in her way. Nor will I be drawn into any foolish battles that will only cause more harm." He turned to Elain once more. "The choice is, and always has been, yours, my lady."

With that, he bowed to her, ignoring Azriel entirely as he turned back for the main house.

Stomach roiling, and mind fairly spinning as it scrabbled to process the events of the last few minutes, Elain watched him go, feeling a tug in her chest towards him that, for once, she was not entirely sure she wished to ignore.

Beside her, Azriel's shadows swirled around him as she stormed off, apparently having forgotten she was there and what they'd been doing not five minutes ago, and took to the skies. 

Elain felt power surge up within her, and the now familiar sensation of a vision taking over her senses. She surrendered to it. Before her, was a crossroads with paths leading in several directions. She turned slowly, examining each until she felt a pull towards one in particular and knew where it would lead.

For the first time since she'd been turned fae, and felt the bond snap into place, Elain realized that the choice she thought had been taken from her that day, had been there all along. Waiting.

[judehatesmaths]

My mid class crisis of this semester:

I'm literally crying.

I think I've been pushing this thought a lot back, but now that I have my first in person midterm exam in uni, it's kinda exploding on my face. I feel so bad, and unmotivated, and confused, and i hate every course that im taking except for one but even for that one even if i pay attention so much that i understand the topic and participate in seminaries, even then I fail the virtual exams.

I've felt like this almost since I began studying this, only anatomy saved me last semester and kept me afloat and that was my only motivation, but this year and semester.... There's nothing. And now. I have this big exam tomorrow evening and the only path I've got is to cram all night today and hope that i pass (which i don't think i will).

Watching and listening to my classmates and some of my friends enjoy so much this career and seeing them thrive (not just survive) in the courses is just so bizarre to me, and it makes me sad bc (i hate how selfish this sounds) that should've been me. I was almost top of my class all during highschool, had straight 20s (the highest score in my country) in classes like biology (which i loved in school, it was almost my favorite subject) and chemistry, i never studied (never needed to and never learned how to) and felt that medicine was what i really really wanted to do.

...then we go to uni and all my dreams are crashed. I barely pass biology by 2 points, chemistry is torture too, i hate everything, i hate the doctors who are teaching. My friends kinda feel the same, but theirs is different, they don't think of quitting as much as I do, or nearly as daily as I did (do).

The thought of quitting gives me so uncertainty, i am not sure even if if I quit what would i study. I always joke about wanting to study Poli sci, but do I? What if i just get stuck in another never ending cycle like with medicine and end up hating it too? Maybe i will hate the courses there too. Plus maybe I'm too old, people will look at me. Is it too late? Have i wasted 2 years of my life? And all the people I'd let down if i quitted, my mom who had to make such an effort to pay for uni, my grandparents who are so amazed and happy about me studying medicine.

I think about the last one a lot.

Part of me feels as if studying medicine gave me a sort of intellectual superiority (it's dumb ik) but. Everytime I meet someone and they ask what I'm studying, i say med and fuckin hell, they're amazed, entranced, by how I'm studying medicine and idk, i don't wanna let do of that feeling even if it's stupidly selfish of me.

Also. I left this in drafts for about 2 hours bc i had genetics kahoot and dude I love that subject, its keeping me afloat and i did good and only missed 2 questions out of 22. I don't feel like crying anymore, but I'll probably do when I start studying. I think what I'll miss the most if I quit is all the people that I've known bc even if they tell u you can still stay in touch, it's not the same. I'll miss hanging with them, planning to stay in campus to study, going out for coffee or food, idk that stuff. I don't wanna let go of the familiarity that this major brings me.

To be fair, i have these career crisis almost every semester (so 3 times almost bc 3 semesters have passed) but this one is the one that hit me harder and made me actually cry. My counselor who is also a psychiatrist told me that this was the hardest semester and that these courses were the most ugly, but then it would get better. Maybe i should believe her; it's almost what happened to me the first semester, second semester came and it was better and i felt better. I didn't feel amazing, and in love, but it felt better yk.

Idk what I'm hoping to achieve with this post, just getting my thoughts out of my head (I don't think I've ever done that) and hope a little venting works for me.

Anyhow, too much of my feelings xd

[parcai]

okay so i was thinking about this book series i read as a kid and it took me a while to actually figure out what it was called. and as i was thinking abt it i was like "oh my god u know who might've also read this. kit" because idk. maybe u did but maybe u didn't anyway:

this was the series and it like, followed aurora's sister who was um cursed with magic to never work on her or something like that. so when the kingdom falls asleep she has this adventure to find the prince to wake up her sister or something. idk i just remember a talking bear and them going thru a bunch of fairy tales 🥰 🤔 i can't say its very memorable for me now was it the best thing ever but i DO remember actively looking for these books at the library and consuming them pretty quickly anyway wanted to ask if u know what this or something 🥰💕

i'm sorry...i can't stop staring at that fucking title 😭😭😭 god are u telling me this book went thru an agent, a publishing house (w multiple editors + everything) and the best they could come up w is a title that neither rolls off the tongue nor is memorable: the WIDE-AWAKE princess???? this should've stayed in the drafts i think 😭🔫