#maybe this really is just me excusing his actions ajsdlkdjfg but i really just dont think talking to anyone else wouldve helped at all

[maschotch]

I am bothered by Hotch deciding he's gonna be the one doing therapy for team after Emily's death. Like I get it he might be punishing himself but he could have done so much damage! Like he saw Reid was in the hard place and Emily "dying" only worsen his mental health. And Derek who for the second time was with someone close to him while they died. And Garcia being really attached to everyone because her parrents died too... like he was doing so much damage by trying to help. I guess it all is circling back to Hotch greatest fear that he can not save everyone to the point where he can not admitt that the besy thing he can do is help them by sending them to someone who actually can help

aljksdhkj ik and i think its sooooooo sexy of him ajkshlfg like at this point i think its been well established that i love emo hotch moments and there is something that is *chefs kiss* ab hotch needing to bear the brunt of the team’s grief. obviously he’d blame himself for the whole situation no matter what the outcome was, but this time he actively made a decision that is hurting them. he made the call that emily should go into hiding and to fake her death. not a decision he would’ve made lightly, and who knows how it would’ve turned out if he had done differently, but he prioritized her life, her safety, over the mental wellbeing of the team. so to hear exactly how brutal this experience is for them seems like a fitting punishment. he’s miserable too for his own reasons, but its not enough. he needs to feel their suffering. he can’t make that choice and not know exactly what it’s doing to them. it feels... irresponsible.. if he just turned a blind eye and let someone else handle it.  he’s already the cause of their misery, what kind of leader would he be if he didn’t face the consequences for that? if he left the team to rot in their anguish? no no.. he has to be the one to hear it. he made that choice the moment he sent emily away

ok jasdlhgskj but bc someone has to defend this white man and ig its gotta be me, so i'll say this: i honestly dont think any of them going to actual therapy would've been helpful? for multiple reasons. 1) what hotch said about being worried ab one of strauss's minions coming in and judging everyone, looking for the slightest thing to potentially shut the team down or separate them or god knows what. it may not be best for the individuals, but its best for the group, and honestly family is what they need 2) this post becomes very relevant aksjhdg even if it was someone with the best intentions, i doubt any of them would actually open up or engage in a way that would actually help them at all. (with the exception of maybe penelope but honestly penelope was probably the only one where it actually was helpful to talk to hotch. the outcome was probably the same, it was probably just easier for her bc she feels more comfortable with hotch and she doesnt have to spend as much time building ~rapport~ with the therapist.) i guess hotch just figured "if they're not gonna talk to anyone honestly to get the help they need, they might as well talk to me since at least they wont lie" which is definitely the reasoning he uses to excuse it when really he just wants to suffer kajshdflg but that doesnt make it any less true.