#maybe they'll get it if it's in spanish (no they wont)

[apocalypsegay]

from a white argentinian to another yall really need to shut the fuck up so bad especially when talking to black people you're a colonizer you're as much a colonizer as a white american or the brits you think Unfairly stole the malvinas your grandaddy my grandaddy maybe even our grandaddy's daddy they came from europe y cada vez que llaman a un afroamericano "gringo" son una conchuda vergüenza actúan como si en argentina nunca hubo esclavos como si cada 25 de mayo no están quemando corchos para pintarle la carita a los nenites de negro como que no tenemos una puta marca de harina que el logo es una caricatura racista me tienen harta hasta las putas pelotas se tienen que meter todo eso bien por el reverendo orto y después cerrarlo porque dan A S C O

[al-the-remix]

BuckTommy Whump Week Day 1: Canon typical injury // Wound neglect

Thank you to the @bucktommywhumpweek mods for putting this together (and sorry it's a day late!) uhh...I have no idea how to tag this one, so just enjoy! Again, please excuse any grammar/spelling errors, they'll be all fixed by the time these make is to Ao3.

It was a pretty house, with arched windows and the pristine white walls of a Spanish revival that had recently had some love and attention given to it. Evan had told him some meandering tale that Tommy had had a difficult time following about ghost phone calls and haunted desolate suburban homes. It was one Tommy couldn’t quite believe, but enabled nevertheless; he’d overheard stories about the Loz Feliz murder house, scuttlebutt around the water cooler and during lulls between calls. He’d never given the stories any real consideration, and gave them even less now that he was faced with what looked like a totally innocuous family home. 

Maddie had settled herself at the end of the dining room table, her whole body angled towards him, hands folded around her coffee mug, radiating warmth as she waited patiently for him to spit out what exactly it was that had brought Tommy to her home on her day off.

Tommy hadn’t really known what to expect when he had called her. They’d never had the chance to spend much time one-on-one, whether it was Evan or Howie, there always seemed to be someone else hanging around, dividing his attention. Now he wishes he’d reached out sooner and under more pleasant circumstances. 

“So, what is it you wanted my advice on?”

Tommy drew his own mug closer to his chest, lacing his fingers around it to keep himself from fidgeting. The steam from the tea felt warm on the underside of his chin and he had to bite down on the skin of his inner cheek to quell the sudden swell of emotions that rose inside him. 

“Evan wont let me look after him.”

The corner of Maddie’s mouth twitched up in a moment of brief amusement, then tugged down in a sympathetic half-smile. “Welcome to the club.”

Tommy found himself laughing despite himself, the noise thick and a little wet in the back of his throat. He hoped that part was quite enough to slip beneath her radar.

If Maddie noticed she didn’t acknowledge it, much to Tommy's relief. He already felt foolish showing up here to needle his boyfriend’s sister for relationship advice, even if he had been invited, he didn’t need to get all emotional about it too.

“Have you talked with Evan recently?”

“I have, but I can’t say that he was exactly forthcoming. Not that he ever is when he’s injured.”

“Right,” Tommy looked down at his hands. “Which I understand, I’ve had strains before, they’re a drag and it’s annoying having to be on the bench for three weeks, but they’re worse if you don’t let them rest.” She was watching him with clear understanding as he rambled. 

“What happened,” Maddie asked gently.

Tommy rubbed at the side of his nose, feeling a little sheepish. “You’re a nurse so you know. Anyway, it sounds silly now, but he wanted to go to the gym the other day–which it’s way too early for–and we got into an argument about it. I wanted to give him space, but now he hasn't texted me in three days and I don’t know what to do. I tried to call him earlier, but he didn’t pick up. I just don’t know how much to push.”

In Tommy’s experience, the line between caring and overbearing was a thin one. 

Evan had never seemed to shy away from going after Tommy’s attention when he had wanted it, whether that meant asking for tours he didn’t really need, or playing sports he didn’t actually like, or organizing a coffee date to apologize when he hadn’t needed to. Maybe it had been presumptuous of him, but Tommy really had expected Evan to reach out sooner rather than later; and the longer the silence went on the more deliberate it felt, like maybe he’d overstepped some invisible boundary Tommy hadn’t even considered looking out for. 

Maddie watched him with a kind, sympathetic expression. Maybe at first glance most would say she and Evan didn’t look much alike, but to Tommy it was clear in their eyes, and their smiles, and their big hearts. 

“I don’t know how much he’s told you yet about our parents or our family situation.” She spoke carefully, as if weighing each word with her consideration. “But I think you might find that he does want someone to look after him, he’s just worried that once you see it, all the raw, messy bits he likes to hide, you won’t want to stay.”

Tommy was all too familiar with raw and messy, not that Evan knew that yet. And maybe that was part of the issue, he’d been so preoccupied with letting Evan set the speed and seeing where it took them, that he’d allowed his own role in this dance to fall to the wayside. He’d told Evan that he was interested, but did Evan know to what degree? Maybe he’d been too concerned with scaring Evan off to really open up the way he should have by now.

“Has that happened before?” Tommy asked when he’d worked the words past the frog in his throat.

She tilted one shoulder up. “He thinks it has, and that’s enough.”

Tommy considered that, staring down into his milky reflection in his untouched tea. 

“Here, have a biscuit,” Maddie offered, pushing the plate of neatly arranged shortbreads across the table at him. 

Tommy gladly took one. In spite of what Evan had suffered through with his parents growing up, he was lucky to have her. 

///

For once the afternoon L.A. traffic didn’t get under Tommy’s skin. He gladly welcomed the prolonged drive home to turn Maddie’s words over in his head. 

In many ways Evan’s body was sort of like a haunted house: possessed by a ghost that wasn’t his, neglected because of it. 

In Tommy’s pocket there was an extra key on his keyring, freshly cut and matching his own. It had sat there for a week, fucking with his head while he’d waited for the perfect opportunity to offer it to Evan. Sure, it was fast, but there was just something about the way Evan had weaved so snugly into Tommy’s life that had made him want to forgo all of his usual hesitancies and firmly erected walls in favour of having Evan be able to come and go from his house as he pleased. And Tommy liked the idea of finding Evan already in his home at the end of the day. He’d hoped that Evan might take it as the signal it was: that Tommy wanted him around permanently, taking up space and leaving his dirty socks all over Tommy’s house. 

Most of all, Evan made him want to be brave. Now Tommy wasn’t so sure. 

Evan had navigated their first few months of dating with his foot pressed firmly on the gas and very little inhibition, leaving Tommy reeling in his wake. He wasn’t accustomed to being pursued with that much earnest persistence, especially by men who up until very recently considered themselves straight.

///

Maybe he’d overlooked the very real possibility that all that inertia may be overcompensation for something lurking below. That when all that confidence melted away and all the forward momentum Evan had built up hit its peak, Evan wasn’t fully prepared to handle the descent that lived on the other side, not on his own.

That was okay, Tommy was a pro at handling those. If only Evan would let him. 

Tommy tossed his keys in his hand as he made his way to the front door,  thumbing the rough edges of the newly cut key. He wasn’t sure how many things Evan truly had of his own; he’d heard about the bicycle and the brother, and he knew that what Evan did have he fiercely guarded, his own space and his bodily autonomy were at the top of that list. 

Tommy had witnessed the way wounded and sick animals could go from gentle to aggressive in a blink of an eye out of fear and pain. He wanted Evan to know how invensted he was in this relationship, but also didn’t want to be the one to corner Evan, to make him feel trapped and like he needed to lash out to be understood. 

It was a fine balance. 

The house was dark and quiet, he hadn’t expected anything else, but still he tried not to let his disappointment settle in the pit of his stomach and make a home there. That wouldn’t help anything. 

 He made his way to his room, not expecting to find a big formless lump on his bed or that it would groan when he flicked on the lights. 

Tommy just about jumped out of his skin, swearing black and blue. Evan was lying on top of the bed covers, his sneakers still on his feet. It looked like he had half-heartedly attempted to undo the laces on one before giving up. 

Evan lowered the arm he’d flung over his eyes against the light, squinting at him where Tommy still hovered in the doorway. 

“Hi,” Tommy said, at a loss for anything else. As far as Evan’s expressions went, the one he was wearing was fairly unreadable.  

“Hey–So, you’re going to be mad at me.” Evan let the words out in one big sigh, like they had been pressed up tight against the starting gate of his teeth. 

Tommy risked taking a step closer to the bed. “I promise you I’m not.” 

Evan let his head thunk back against the mattress, eyes locked on the ceiling, and muttered: “I think I strained my strain.”

Caught off guard, Tommy had to press his lips together tight to suppress the laugh that bubbled up in his throat. This wasn’t exactly the moment for it. 

Evan was still staring at the ceiling, looking miserable, even after everything Tommy couldn’t help but feel fond. “Stay still, I'll go get the ice pack.”

“That won’t be hard.” He heard Evan mumble as he went to dig the gel pack out from the back of his freezer, grabbing a bottle of Advil and one of the water bottles Evan had left in his dishwasher for good measure. 

When Tommy returned Evan had indeed not moved. He settled himself on the foot of the bed, pulling Evan’s skinny ankles into his lap as he began working away at the laces. “How did you get into my house?” Tommy asked as he worked. That really should have been his first question, he could feel the heavy presence of his eyes in his pocket. Well received or not, he probably should have offered it to Evan a week ago.   

“You’re a firefighter, you should know those little fake rocks are a dead giveaway to anyone trying to break in,” Evan huffed, sounding more like himself. “At least invest in a garden gnome or something to throw them off.”

Tommy chuckled, catching Evan’s eye. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time my boyfriend decides to break into my house.”

Evan’s gaze dipped down to where Tommy was working the first shoe off his foot, quiet for a few moments before he said, softly: “Thanks.”

Tommy just grunted as he started working on the laces of the other high top. Evan really needed to invest in some proper weightlifting shoes, but Tommy wasn’t exactly raring to get into another gym centered argument so soon. 

When he’d finally wrestled both shoes off, Tommy got Evan sitting up against the headboard, and situated himself on the edge of the mattress at his knee so he could slip the ice pack under the meat of his calf and hold it there.  

“I can do that if you want.”

“It’s fine. I’m happy to,” Tommy said simply, giving Evan’s ankle a squeeze where his other hand rested. He wasn’t expecting Evan’s eyes to dart off to the side, a rush of air leaving his lungs with a hitch that snagged Tommy’s attention. 

“Fuck, I didn’t want to do this,” Evan said, his hand coming up to rub at his eyes. 

“Be a mess, you know, a nuisance.”

“Do what? Evan–”

“Evan, I don’t think you’re a nuisance,” Tommy said, trying to catch his eye. 

Evan shot him a flat, red rimmed look. “I broke into your house. I was stubborn when you were just trying to look out for me, and then too much of a chicken to call you back when you were worried about me.”

Tommy stroked his thumb over the exposed bulb of Evan’s ankle bone. “I shouldn’t have pushed,” he said softly.

Evan shook his head. “I want you to push–you weren't even pushing–not really. I just, I really like you.” 

Tommy felt a sappy smile spread across his face. He let go of Evan's ankle to take his hand instead, giving it a squeeze. “I really like you too.”

Evan let out a wet sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh, his face a startling red. “I really like being your boyfriend.” 

“Good,” Tommy said, “because as your boyfriend I want to ice your leg for you, even when you’re being stubborn about it, even when you don’t call me back.” Evan’s eyes dipped away to the side like he was preparing to sidestep Tommy’s sentiment again and he figured this was his moment to lay it all out there. “This isn’t too much. You’re not too much for me, but if it’s too much for you, too soon, you need to tell me, because I’m serious about this Evan. I want you to be around even when things are messy.”

Tommy reached into his pocket, pulling out his keychain and began to work the new key off the ring. “Maybe this isn't the right moment, but I had this cut a few weeks ago, and so if you'd like, you can just let yourself in next time instead of having to hunt through my garden for fake rocks.”

Evan stared at the key Tommy held out to him, a dumb founded expression on his face. “You got that made for me?”

“Yeah–”

“You don't plan on going to Ireland any time soon do you?”

His eyes were like big wet saucers, infinitely vulnerable and Tommy frowned. “What?”

Evan's face crumpled, one big hand snapping up to cover it as he muffled a sob. 

“Okay, okay,” Tommy soothed as he climbed gingerly over Evan's legs to sit properly on the bed beside him. “Come here.” 

He was relieved when Evan let himself be pulled against his chest, wrapping his arms snugly around Tommy's neck.

“I'm sorry I was a dick and for the crying, my leg just really fucking hurts,” Evan mumbled into Tommy's now soggy shirt collar.

Tommy rubbed his back in calming circles. “It's okay, I don't mind, and I forgave you pretty quickly. Just next time please call me back so I know you're alright. I want you to.”  

Evan moved just far enough away so he could get a good look at Tommy's face. “Me too–all that stuff you said–it's not too much for me either,” he said and pulled Tommy into a wet, kind of snotty kiss. 

Tommy cradled Evan's face in his hands, it was short and sweet, Evan's sinuses too blocked up for anything more than that, but at least he was smiling when he broke away from the kiss, out of breath.

“I was kind of worried you were going to break things off with me, that's why I didn't call you back," he admitted.

“Evan–” Tommy tried, but was cut off.

“Look, maybe I have a penchant for self-sabotage, but I'll, uh, try to be better with that.” He laced their fingers back together, resting them against Tommy's knee. "I haven't wanted something this badly in a long time. It's kind of scares me."

"Me too," Tommy admitted, "I meant it when I said I was serious about you."

Evan's smile did something that made Tommy's heart jump in his throat. "Good, because I think I'm going to need a ride to the doctor's tomorrow."

"I think I can manage that," Tommy said and reached for the ice pack where it had been left forgotten on the mattress. And maybe after that Evan would want to come back to his house and stay a while.

[loaffofbred]

Hmm.. interesting (qsmp rambles)

Note: All roleplay/characters

So much has happened lately in one day! Apparently Bad has to do a survey for the fed, Cellbit has done the final code/enigma, Forever's plan to leave the island, Pac&Mike's plan against Foolish, and Roier found a book that Foolish possibly wrote with a gun in the grandma room of Cellbit's castle.

I find all of them interesting, but since im massively biased, i wanna focus on Foolish's and Bad's since im super curious with what's been happening to them. The questions seem like they plan to do something to change themselves, maybe they'll make actual changes? It'll be interesting if they actually listen to the suggestions and answers of the different members. Bad used the reward in order to ask the possible entities the federation has created, which is pretty smart since itll answer several of the questions we have, including the code, the eggs, and the island overall. It's interesting that the federation is rewarding or making transactions with this, I guess its self aware of everyone's distrust. If they ever do answer the question honestly, i feel like they'll be just as vague, but at least they're giving answers unlike the past months lmao

About Foolish's book and gun in Cellbit's castle, the thing is, theres at least 2 possibilities:

Richas was the one that put it, including the gun! Since he has a gun himself and may know some spanish, and is there to simply hide it for fun or for others to also possibly get it.

Foolish hid it, changed the contents of the book ( since the book wasn't with codes nor written in spanish before ) because he wanted to give a gun for fun! This is indicated further based on Foolish's (supposed to be qsmp) recent stream with the emoji as Grandma and his statements about his guns to Forever, saying he already has possible plans behind it. This means he did this offstream ;)

It's definitely leaning more towards Foolish, especially the overall mannerisms of the book, with the middle finger at the end of the page and random codes. But i wonder why he would do it in general, most likely for fun since its not like many ppl have any ammo for the gun. Yet I cant help but feel like its such a weird move, especially now that many people suspect him to be working for the federation! But this does establish that he would never be fully with the feds, which are definitely against spreading around guns lmaoo

I'm not super informed about Pac&Mike's possible plan, but from what I know they may use Rey(Phoenix) as a hostage, possibly do something to Foolish's dragon (Keep in mind they will be avoiding hurting Leo here), or kill him after an interrogation;

Killing him off wont be too incriminating, maybe except the badge but thats it really it

Interrogating him may be useful as long as they don't go in circles like the previous interrogations, its best to listen but also dont expect a direct answer from him. Imo its best to keep it casual, but if they don't have the patience, then go off

Rey as a hostage - Maybe possibly can work since he can be very attached to animals, i.e Mr. Mustard, but it depends highly if he feels actually threatened.

Destruction of Foolish's Dragon - Easier but more riskier to execute, probably should be the last resort!

If theres one thing i would recommend when it comes to trying to get through to Foolish, Bad probably knows more tactics since he knows Foolish very well. I know the trap/revenge will be done tomorrow but I feel like they could've benefited from taking advice from Bad at some point. Not sure if this is confirmed but if Foolish does stream tomorrow I wonder how he'll react to Pac&Mike's experiences. Since his moral compass is nowhere near similar to theres, I think they may misunderstand his intentions based solely off of his not so straight morals. If Mike ever does do revenge, from what I know of Foolish, he would never clap back at Mike (unless if it involves Leo and his family). Foolish is pretty chill and tries not to maintain any grudges, so if he was killed off, I think he would understand. In the end though, I do hope they come to an understanding! Foolish definitely still has to lie just because of his job lmao buttt, I think they can still come to an understanding without all the info he has.

anyways thats all folks, carry on!

[lilbeauxxpeep]

language nerd ramble #1

i'm getting back into all of my language learning shenenigans.. so here's so context: i started learning korean and spanish when i was around 12 (i started with korean and started spanish after that about the same year). korean was my main focus for a long time but eventually i got into highschool and couldn't study as much. eventually at the end of my sophomore year i got interested in portuguese and did SO MUCH DUOLINGO. later that summer i think is when i got interested in german and dutch, and also later french. i fizzled out of self study after entering my junior and senior years of high school. I STARTED MY LANGUAGE JOURNEY SIX YEARS AGO which is so crazy to me. because it's been so long, i feel like i speak zero languages. i studied spanish in school for 2 and a half years but other than that, i dont really know much. but recently i've been very motivated to learn russian! a brand new language for me and i think the writing system and everything about it is really pretty! all that being said, here's my current focus languages (in order of priority): - russian - top priority because it's new - spanish - my most advanced language but i'm still not as comfortable speaking it as i'd like to be - dutch - even though i've studied it before, it's been so long that it feels new still - french - i don't have much to say other than it's one i wanna learn but it's not like super prioritized rn - korean - probably wont go back to actively learning for a bit because ive been with this language for the past six years, even if not actively studying it that long. i do plan on going back to it eventually.

and as for portuguese and german, they're ones that i don't know if i actually WILL study again at this point. they are quite similar to spanish and dutch respectively and learning them at the same time is obviously a no no because they'll get confused. they are both pretty languages tho and maybe i'll dabble with them in the future.

[youngroyalsnshameless]

🌼Young Royals S2 Predictions🌼

The rules are simple: Copy the questions into a post and answer them to the best of you ability. Tag other people to join, if you want to, and remember to use #YR2quiz (important so your quiz answers wont get lost). Enjoy, and have fun. May the best fortuneteller win!

1. What month will season 2 be released?

August just to annoy us, someone said June but ya know filming doesn't finish till may, realistically it could be more like November, if it is November though November 1 would be great, or even Oct 31 as I'm so far ahead timezone wise and I'ma start my birthday right.

2. What episode will Simon and Wilhelm have their first s2 kiss (who will initiate the kiss)?

Whichever episode is the halfway point in the show.

3. How will Simon find out about August being behind the leak?

Willhelm will tell him and they'll probably argue about it.

4. Will there be snow in s2?

Yep, snow kisses.

5. Will there be any physical fight (if yes, who will be involved)?

Yes August at the very least, I could see Simon going for him but Alexander and Wilhelm beating him up are certainly welcome options.

6. Will Wilhelm abdicate?

No, I simply don't see it happening as much as it would be a power move

7. Will Wilhelm make a new public statement about his sexuality?

Yes, but it'll be towards the end of the season to prepare for season 3??

8. Will there be introduced another queer character (can be a s1 character - if yes, who)?

Maddie and Simon are gonna be queer besties shopping in NY but other characters (Walty I'm looking at you, I've read Other People's Secrets) are welcome to join the club💅

9. Will Sara become a boarder student at Hillerska?

No August isn't gonna help her he knows that the queen is covering for him now he doesn't care.

10. Do we get a forehead kiss between Simon and Wilhelm (if yes, who kisses who)?

Wilhelm to Simon in the snow

11. Will Simon and the queen exchange any words (if yes, who will speak first)?

Yes the queen will speak first, probably to talk down to him but Simon goes off and low-key impresses her (I think I'm reading to much ao3 cause I keep thinking about moments in fics-On Campus rn)

12. Will there be clothes exchange between Simon and Wilhelm (if yes, what item)?

The purple hoodie and scarf or something of Erik's is acceptable.

13. Will Sara speak any Spanish?

No, she's trying to fit in with the upper society and she thinks her family is something to be ashamed of, I hope this changes though.

14. Will Simon become aware of Wilhelm's anxiety?

Yes quite early on as they're trying to sort this mess out but Wilhelm's feeling the pressure of the crown.Simon has probably already noticed some signs

15. Will Wilhelm break the 4th wall at some point? .

Either he'll open and close the show's first and last episodes by looking in the camera, or Simon will.

16. Will Alexander get some sort of revenge (if yes, how)?

Something to do with the new charecter, maybe him and Simon+new charecter will beat August up.

I won't say no to an elaborate murder plot though.

17. Will Erik appear in any form (letter, flashback, etc.)?

Erik Lives tag won't need more fics he shall be resurrected #foreverindenial

18. How many characters will cry (with tears) - who?

Literally everyone honestly the aftermath of the tape is gonna be a mess.

19. Will Simon and/or Wilhelm say 'Jag älskar dig' (if yes, who says it first - will they both say it)?

Yes and Simon, Wille should allow him that

20. How many times will we see Simon eat pasta?

4

21. Who will have the first kiss in season 2 (named characters)?

Sara and August

22. Will Simon and Wilhelm have any PDA (if yes, what kind)?

Yes, power couple holding hands at Hillerska and if his mother won't let him come out, a kiss on camera.

Sorry I took so long to do this lol, I got tagged weeks ago but this was hard to do on my phone 😂

[celestialsapphicc]

/@royalsimoneriksson thank you for tagging me♥️

How many predictions are you able to make? I think it could be fun to go back and see how much we have been able to guess, when season 2 airs. The winner gets a clementine emoji and a gold star. 🍊🌟

The rules are simple: Copy the questions into a post and answer them to the best of you ability. Tag other people to join, if you want to, and remember to use #YR2quiz (important so your quiz answers wont get lost). Enjoy, and have fun. May the best fortuneteller win!

1. What month will season 2 be released?

- hopefully in July🕯️

2. What episode will Simon and Wilhelm have their first s2 kiss (who will initiate the kiss)?

- mostly episode 2, Simon will probably be the one to initiate it

3. How will Simon find out about August being behind the leak?

- yes, wilhelm will tell him

4. Will there be snow in s2?

- Yess

5. Will there be any physical fight (if yes, who will be involved)?

- yess, (mostly wilhelm will be the one involved)

6. Will Wilhelm abdicate?

- definitely no

7. Will Wilhelm make a new public statement about his sexuality?

- yea I think he'll have to at some point

8. Will there be another queer character introduced (can be a s1 character - if yes, who)?

- probably the new character?

9. Will Sara become a boarder student at Hillerska?

- Yes but I don't think she's gonna stay there for too long tho

10. Do we get a forehead kiss between Simon and Wilhelm (if yes, who kisses who)?

- yess, Simon will be the one kissing wilhelm (and hopefully vice versa)

11. Will Simon and the queen exchange any words (if yes, who will speak first)?

- yess, the queen will be the one to speak first

12. Will there be clothes exchanged between Simon and Wilhelm (if yes, what item)?

- I don't think so:(

13. Will Sara speak any Spanish?

- no

14. Will Simon become aware of Wilhelm's anxiety?

- yess

15. Will Wilhelm break the 4th wall at some point?

- Yess (mostly in the first and last ep like last season)

16. Will Alex get some sort of revenge (if yes, how)?

- nah I don't think so

17. Will Erik appear in any form (letter, flashback, etc.)?

- yes, they'll probably have him in some flashbacks

18. How many characters will cry (with tears) - who?

- probably most of the main characters so I won't say any specific name

19. Will Simon and/or Wilhelm say 'Jag älskar dig' (if yes, who says it first - will they both say it)?

- Yess, probably simon first then wille will say it back

20. How many times will we see Simon eat pasta?

- three?

21. Who will have the first kiss in season 2 (named characters)?

- ahh I don't know maybe felice and some other character?

22. Will Simon and Wilhelm have any PDA (if yes, what kind)?

- Yess a lot, but i think mostly holding hands

This was really fun idk why it took me forever to make it😭

I once again don't know who to tag since most of y'all already did it so im tagging whoever wants to do it♥️

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: heard from drew? Carly: long shot Ali: Ha, good one Carls Ali: God no Ali: he's AWOL? Carly: yea Carly: gimme calebs number? Carly: longer shot Ali: 'Course but doubt they're chillin' Ali: and he might act like saying his name invokes him to pop up like a demon but you know Ali: Have you spoken to Meena? Surely he's keeping her in the loop Carly: shes not picking up Carly: to me Carly: same as my mum and dad Ali: That's not like her, she's probably just busy, keep trying Ali: As for your 'rents, where have they gone? And why do you need Drew so urgent? Gah, sorry, so many questions Ali: Just go with this one, are you okay? Carly: ive been trying ages Carly: shes not on spanish time idk why she cant answer Carly: idk wot to do Carly: how do i get it to stop ?? Ali: Spain's only an hour ahead of us anyway, not an excuse Ali: I'm 8 hours ahead and I've managed Ali: get what to stop babe Carly: the crying Carly: i cant think Carly: its all it does Ali: You've had the baby Ali: how long ago? did you go to the hospital? you need to if you haven't, like now Carly: what Carly: why would i go there Carly: its over with Ali: Because you both need to be checked over Ali: its really important Ali: have you birthed the placenta? Is it all out? If not you could die Ali: Never mind if there's anything wrong with the baby Ali: Call a cab and give me your deets, I'll transfer the money now Carly: that alien shit Carly: yea Carly: it screams healthy Ali: that is a good sign but there could be something you're missing, maybe that's why its screaming? better safe than sorry, they're not allowed to ask you about shit unrelated, so if you're high, sober up and then go, yeah? Ali: When did you last do a feed? Have you been able to? They'll show you how, it can be tricky Carly: id scream if i was born here Carly: gonna be stuck Carly: sober up? i need more Carly: shit hurts dont need to tell you Ali: They'll give you stuff at the Hospital Ali: why do you think anyone goes? Ali: and fo free baby gurl! please Carly: i cant Carly: gotta be hear for when my mum rings back Carly: & drew might come Ali: Give me your mums number and I'll tell her where you are Ali: then she can ring the hospital and they'll let you know Ali: I bet Drew has a key, no? Ali: Leave a note Carly: he left it when he went Carly: threw it at me Ali: Oh bab Ali: I'm sorry Ali: but you gotta focus on you Ali: and the baby now Ali: Not him, he knows where you are Ali: I can text him if you want, or try to call Ali: I swear nothing bad will come out of it Carly: but its his Carly: and i am Carly: he should be here Ali: But he isn't Ali: maybe he'll come back but you gotta keep going 'til he does, alright? Carly: i need to find him Ali: Not right now Ali: next step Ali: he's not lost, he doesn't want to be found Ali: i know that's harsh but its the truth Ali: he'll come back when he's ready, alright? Carly: what about me Carly: im not ready Carly: he doesnt care Carly: why should i Ali: he cares about himself Ali: AT LEAST do that Ali: if you can't the baby then the people at the hospital will help with that too Ali: you can't just leave it Ali: boy or girl? Carly: its a girl Carly: another one Carly: hes gonna be mad Ali: I don't think he's salty about not having a male heir babe Ali: If you really won't go...I'll do my best to tell you what I know and I'll send you links Ali: we'll do our best health check and then you've got to try to feed her, yeah? Is that okay? Carly: mad that shes here Carly: i said i wasnt having one Carly: you want me to read? cant hear myself think Ali: But you were Ali: and if you were doing it without protection then he was fully aware it was a possibility Ali: I'll voice memo you then Ali: it'll stop the crying Carly: he says its not his Carly: maybe not Carly: idk Carly: its got blood on it but could look like him when thats gone Ali: He said that to me when it definitely was so kind of his go to Ali: but even if it isn't, doesn't mean he has to be a dick to you about it Ali: Its not right regardless Ali: Especially not when you're alone Carly: how do i make it sleep Carly: im tired Carly: should i sing? Ali: That might help yeah Ali: Skin to skin to, that's comforting Ali: Lemme break down how you feed it, yeah? Hold on Carly: i cant pick it up what if i drop it fuck no Carly: gotta stay where it is Ali: You won't Ali: its your baby, its safer with you than it is on the floor Ali: get a towel, that'll keep it warm and put it to your chest Ali: [Sends 38 sec video] okay, if that's easier this vid shows you how but I'm here to talk you through Carly: all the towels are wet Carly: it can have my tshirt thats warm Ali: Good idea, see Ali: you know what you're doing Ali: you've got this Carly: its too small Carly: i have to put it back down Carly: ill hurt it Carly: fuming about me coming near it Ali: She's just hungry and confused Ali: Understandable, right? Dunno about you but I'd be pretty fucked off too if I'd just been pushed out my nice comfy home of the last 9 months Ali: You'll be her best friend in my time at all Carly: id put it back if i could Carly: whyd you wanna do this 3 times Ali: 'Cos I'm a bossy bitch and I want underlings to do my bidding and I get to tell 'em what to do Ali: speaking of, time for your masterclass Ali: get her and get comfy on the sofa or your bed or wherever is bed Ali: best Carly: k Carly: shes heavy wtf Ali: That's good! You did a good job cooking her then Ali: and if she's a lil chunk, this should be easier Carly: shes small but im sleepy Ali: you can both take a snooze when this is done, usually conks 'em right out Ali: is your tiddy out? Carly: knew you fancied me Ali: you know Ali: getting in there while your defenses are down Carly: im single Carly: you too Ali: Lets do it mama Ali: cutest fam ever? i think so Carly: shes not cute like yours Carly: weird coloured thing Ali: she's probably covered in the gunk and pink from screaming her head off Ali: no ones finest hour i bet she's beautiful Carly: ill get it to take a selfie Ali: yay! get it on the nip 'cos i gotta see my boo too 😍 Ali: line her nose up with your nip, kinda tickle her top lip with it, she should open her mouth wide Ali: then you can shove it in Carly: done that before Carly: weird Carly: [Sends pic of tiny baby Indie] Carly: does she look like him idk Ali: Definitely Ali: Looks a bit like Edie Carly: ill send him the pic Carly: probs should take a better one Carly: how do i look? Ali: Like you've just given birth Ali: so a goddess Ali: but a knackered one Carly: youve got a fetish Carly: cant trust that Ali: me??? Ali: didn't impregnate myself Ali: look at Caleb! Carly: and drew Carly: wont see him Ali: Clearly its his thing too Ali: but he's more about the before than after yeah Ali: he can't stay away forever Ali: he wouldn't leave Meena Carly: youre smart Carly: if i go there he cant avoid me Ali: Exactly Ali: Camp out Ali: Ana will help you with the baby shit if you like Carly: why Carly: she doesnt know me Ali: Because she's a good person Ali: plus she's a social worker, it what she do Ali: and she knows Drew better than most, she raised him Ali: worth a shot Carly: shes not his mum Carly: but she can take this kid Ali: yeah she's better than Ali: is that what you want? Ali: she'll discuss it with you, make sure you both get what's best Carly: im not talking to her Carly: she can take it or not Ali: No one will just take her with no questions asked Carls Ali: for your welfare and the kids Carly: im not answering a social workers questions Ali: They're not entitled to judge you Ali: She won't Ali: and as far as drugs are concerned, if you want to give the baby up then literally none of their business at all after that Ali: and if you did decide to keep her then they work with you Ali: they're not gonna just shop you, it ain't like that Carly: make me go to rehab is how its like Carly: fuck no Ali: They can't make you Ali: there's no point Ali: you can only get sober if that's what you want Carly: my mum and dad'll make me Carly: i know theyre gonna Ali: well, where the fuck are they now? Ali: if they're so concerned about you they'd be here Ali: actually supporting you Carly: theyll come when they find out about her Carly: i never told them Ali: Good, I hope they do Ali: but how did that happen Ali: how could I see and they didn't Ali: or Drew Carly: they dont come back Carly: drew did see thats why he left Ali: yeah but they must talk to you Ali: your mum has obviously been there how did she not clock something being up Ali: and not soon enough in Drew's case Carly: i call them if i need money Carly: they gotta think its why im calling now Ali: When do they call you? Carly: if i call and they didnt pick up Carly: unless theyre busy Ali: I see Ali: how's she doing? done feeding? Carly: sleeping Carly: how are yours? Ali: best feeling ever, right? Ali: much the same, its late here Ali: I'm pulling an all-nighter lowkey, finishing up some work Carly: i miss junie Carly: whatever your on for it gimme some Ali: i'd be creepy and snap him sleeping but no doubt the flash would wake his highness Ali: he misses you too, i'll get him to facetime Carly: aw Carly: go work bitch Carly: i shouldnt kept you this long Ali: don't be daft Ali: queen of multitasking Ali: and not just junie who misses you is it Ali: #massiveLESBIANcrush Carly: my tits are gonna go down Carly: snap me up now Ali: Trying, like Ali: make it facebook official Ali: that'll get the lads attention ey Ali: why else do it Carly: yea Carly: my parents too probs Carly: lapsed catholics Ali: be on the next plane over to get you back on the dick like Ali: i'll get on it #longdistancelesbians Ali: my ex gonna be so mad Carly: mine too Carly: wtf am i gonna do Carly: I dont want him to be an ex Ali: even though he's fucked you over like this? Carly: i fucked him over first Carly: i lied Ali: not really Ali: if anything, you lied to yourself Ali: but you didn't wanna hear it, couldn't Ali: and that makes sense Carly: cant block it out any more Carly: fuck Ali: it gets really real really fast Ali: doesn't it Ali: but you have got this Ali: i've got you, however i can, yeah? Carly: i dont want it to be Carly: i dont want it Carly: i cant do this Ali: okay, that's okay too Ali: but she isn't going to just go Ali: whether it was getting an abortion earlier or what you have to do now Ali: you have to do something Ali: there's no quick fix for it Ali: ana can get you in touch with the right people who will make it as easy as they can for you and her Ali: or my mum Carly: if i leave her she'll get found Carly: why does nobody ever call me back wtf Ali: Yeah but they'll still try to find you Ali: or Drew Ali: and his DNA will be on the system so Ali: and I reckon if they got to him, he'd sell you out Ali: when's the last time you slept? Carly: idk Carly: what day is it Ali: Tuesday Carly: sunday Carly: saturday Carly: idk Ali: fuck girl Ali: you shoulda been banking up on it before Carly: ha Carly: easy fix Carly: need my dealer Ali: not if your gonna be breastfeeding Ali: unless he gonna bring formula too Carly: i can go myself for that Carly: get a car Ali: you getting enough cash in, yeah? Carly: ha no Carly: no student loans for this bitch Ali: you'll have to look into getting help with that Ali: there's funds and shit, i'll find out the info Ali: that or tap Drew up for child maintenance Carly: yea cos hes declaring his earnings Carly: i wish hed talk to me Ali: exactly, bribe him like Ali: he's got a lot to lose Carly: hed never forgive me Carly: i cant Ali: but you can forgive him for all he does? Ali: got it bad honey Carly: yea Carly: its fucked Ali: is there anything he could do to make you stop loving him Carly: idk Carly: why Ali: cos you'd be happier if you didn't Ali: right Ali: like, he treats you like shit Carly: i wasnt happy before Carly: & he hasnt this whole time Carly: it got bad Carly: me too Ali: but you could be Ali: you don't have to give up hope of ever being Ali: and he did for the majority of the time though, that should outweigh the good Carly: with what Carly: this kid Carly: im not you Ali: no Ali: of being happy Ali: with just you Ali: or someone else who treats you better Carly: i dont have a job or friends here and i live in a caravan Carly: not gonna happen Ali: you can get both Ali: you're cool Carly: ha Carly: youre dreaming Carly: fucked the allnighter Ali: i'm not the only one Ali: and why not? Carly: drew says im a junkie Ali: what does he know Ali: and anyway, functioning junkie Ali: shits possible Carly: he knows me Carly: he loved me til i fucked it Ali: you haven't DONE anything Ali: a baby happened to you BOTH Ali: you're both reacting, right or wrong now, whatever Ali: and he probably still does but Ali: love ain't always enough Carly: why are you my friend? Ali: I said, you're cool Ali: funny, smart, nice, you already know i fancy you so no need to kiss arse any more, yeah? Ali: you're SO friendable, babe Carly: shoulda fallen for you Ali: yeah well, the tragedy of being straight and feelings not following logic Ali: sometimes, you gotta fuck feelings tho, do right by yourself Carly: i dont feel anything when he isnt here Carly: nothing happens Carly: cept today Ali: make stuff happen Ali: its only chaos darling Carly: youre not here either Carly: what am i gonna make happen on my own Carly: this shit Carly: idk Ali: what do you wanna make happen Ali: anything, however unlikely you think it is Carly: i want him to come back Carly: my parents too Carly: but none of them are Ali: can't control other people nah but you can do all YOU can to make it happen Ali: what would make him come back? who would he wanna be with? and you can try to talk to your 'rents and tell them what is up...longshot but maybe they don't realise how shitty they're being Carly: they're not Carly: theyre busy Carly: and im not a kid Ali: busy with what? Ali: living it up in spain? Ali: they kept you, you're their kid for life Ali: they don't get to peace at 16, 18 whatever the fuck Carly: they didnt vanish Carly: i know where they are Ali: yeah but they should be here rn Ali: you need them Ali: maybe if you ask, when they answer, they will come back Ali: i'm not slagging on 'em, its just facts Carly: i dont want to go live in spain Carly: fact is theyll try and force me Ali: well, they can't make ya, tell them why you wanna stay here Ali: they could still be supportive Ali: even if they're not physically with you every day like Carly: they wont let me stay for him Ali: okay...make something more parent friendly up then Ali: what they don't know won't hurt 'em Carly: youre so smart Ali: so i've been told Ali: with varying levels of sarcasm Carly: yea Carly: same Ali: You are though Ali: One of the many reasons we get along Carly: youre such a mum Carly: bigging me up like Ali: s'what i do best right Ali: shoulda been a cheerleader, fucking irish schools not letting me shine Carly: thats what schools do best Carly: be shit Ali: true dat Ali: even if my uni is pretty swish Ali: and full of nerds like me Carly: looks it Ali: still, miss the homeland like Carly: switch places Carly: shes crying again what does she want this time Carly: headfuck Ali: think its a bit too early for her to have shat, maybe wee but Ali: probably wanting her next feed Ali: you do it roughly every 2 hours for the first month Carly: ffs Carly: howd you get anything done with 3 of them Ali: ask myself the same question Ali: luckily they're not all on the tit 'cos form an orderly queue lads Carly: not getting my tit out again Ali: its that or formula run to get her to stop crying Carly: i cant put her in the car Carly: she'd fall out Ali: that solves that then honey Ali: get 'em out get 'em out get 'em out Carly: perv Ali: 🤷 Ali: single mum, gotta get my kicks where i can yo Carly: get fucked Carly: not offering Carly: one of the nerds would be up for it Ali: no need to tell me Ali: desperation station Ali: bless 'em Carly: do you go to class with your shoulders and knees out Ali: its boiling here, not even trying to be a shameless hussy Ali: can't be swooning erryday, got places to be, shitty bums to wipe Carly: yea Carly: cant steal that excuse myself Ali: sadly not Ali: can use breastfeeding though Ali: you're just out here feeding ya kid, looking hot as a by-product, fight me world Carly: don't Carly: how is this happening Carly: im looking at her and idk Ali: i can't believe you did it all by yourself Ali: you're a right tough nut Ali: but you don't have to keep doing it alone Carly: but i have to do something Carly: wtf Ali: yeah, keep both of yas alive until you figure out your next step Carly: make it sound simple Ali: 'course Ali: i'll allow you some melodrama but i can't claim hormones as hard Carly: u can Carly: and homesickness Ali: alright, lets have a good sob Carly: this kids done enough Carly: has you beat bitch Ali: rude Ali: already winning fresh out the womb Carly: what you naming it Carly: said you would Ali: you're serious? Carly: idc Ali: probs think on that a bit longer, whether you wanna name her or nah Ali: but my lists be ready don't fret Carly: k