#maybe that's why i constantly try new things bc well. why not? i'm never sure i'll do well at them

[beneathsilverstars]

MY ENTIRE ISAT LIVEBLOG

COPY PASTED FROM TWITTER LET'S GO!!!

oh my god i love isabeau

the correct reaction to an incredibly mediocre pun:

when i talked to odile i said i was gonna make isabeau sleep on the floor but that is NOT true

i was about to say i love all the sparkly stars aesthetic but... the game is literally named after them.... i shoulda known

omg isabeau what were you about to confess 😳👉👈

rock paper scissors is being explained to me in such painstaking depth... but the dialogue is cute, so it's ok

wtf i looped back to the town specifically in order to ask the cook about the openphrase for the one door but there's no option to ask!!

it was the shopkeeper 🤦🏼

so curious about siffrin's touch thing... it makes sense other people might be more conscious of a subconscious reaction to touch than he is, but he's so avoidant of the train of thought, i feel like it must be something a bit less.. subtle...?

damn... tryna give mirabelle the fan mail for the second time.... yikes :( so sorry mira........ is that what happened to the island to the north...? something about it got so retconned that it makes people sick to focus on the exact change?

oh.. siffrin's major memory problems.....

this game is sooo good

siffrin seems upset in the observatory.. at first i thought they were just getting tired/grouchy, but the game sure is named after stars... maybe stars had to do with their past trauma..??

i'm starting to wonder if this isn't their first set of loops and the bone-deep burden of all that (along with the practicalities of your memories constantly not matching reality) is why they forget words and shit....

went and looked at the castle again this loop bc i felt bad that sif never gets to sit down...

king asked if sif remembers REMEMBERS WHAT??? i just knowww after i terribly lose this fight im gonna have to go back through the whole game unlocking new rooms that like unlock my memories or smth

"not when i still can't say it" ofc the king is from the northern island... sif is obviously from there too, and that's why he can't remember most of his past... so that's the thing they both don't remember?

defeated him but like. there's still so many locked doors. i bet like sif is gonna go to sleep and they wake up from the nap like WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M STILL IN THE LOOP?? WE WON?? but they didn't win correctly yet, they didn't actually solve everything that needs solved...

head handmaiden ma'am 😳

is odile's research genealogy??

i thought the reference to "colors" being an esoteric/irrelevant topic was a one-off gag about the art style, but it's plot relevant?? fuck yeah

what if odile is trying to figure out the northern island..??

OHHHHHH

BWAHHH the bonnie quest ���😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

first time redoing the mira quest.... siffrin!!! be brave!!!!! not only is your new idea good, even if it was bad you could just say oops oh well and switch the script back next loop!!!!!

is siffrin gonna have to learn how to be brave and normal in order to break the loop jdhshdjf (normal here meaning "not a loop-brained convomaxxer")

i hope siffrin can just ask the baker's daughter directly for the book this time hdhdjfj i don't really think the whole goose chase is necessary for the emotional convo.....

oh thank god

ugh i can't wait till sif tells his friends about the loop. is that gonna be sif's quest

HANG OUT QUEST!! YES!!!

hm.. is loop the deity of the northern island..? if stars and astronomy are like their whole thing....

INTERRUPTED AGAIN!!!!!!! AGHHGH!!!!! i know isa can't actually confess till the very end bc it would suck having to go through more loops knowing he likes you but he hasn't actually told you / if you go through a loop post-confession surely that would change quite a bit of dialogue

but AHHHHHH!!!!

oh my god siffrin is going beast mode on the tutorial sadness?? i had to choose "attack" bc it seemed the most different and thus interesting but also omg... there goes the warm friendship glow 😭😭

but ofc that glow would die a horrible sudden death anyway the moment siffrin is confronted with the fact that he is back on that damn loop grind :(

poor thing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

INSTANT REPLAY??????????

the loop power is getting stronger.. u~u;;

I KNEW IT WOULD EVENTUALLY GET WEIRD THAT SIF'S SUCH A HIGH LEVEL... just a couple loops ago i was like damn when is everyone else gonna notice that sif has like multiple crafts that they didn't yesterday

also i noticed a loop or so ago that their battle portrait is frowning and.. i don't think it always was.....?

oh my god the memory of sadness is kinda fucked up but. so useful jdhshfj im tired of avoiding them in the hallway,,

ok but also how do my teammates not notice that they have new equipment, and sometimes a new craft..... in the case of like a hair bow that's easy to gloss over but how does isabeau not go "wtf i'm dealing paper damage?" ??

the problem w telling your friends you're in a time loop is it must be such a fucking relief. and then you loop again

aw, sif.. tell them about the universe...

lol how funny would it be if i died to the rock this time

oops... i'm doing a big check-everything run, but i absolutely didn't do all the village stuff bc i was too excited to help isa... oh well,

i did idly connect that the "weird sadnesses" smell like sugar same as the king's time magic which makes, but i finally just actually thought about it and realized they're also star shaped....

siffrin having this time loop power... is it anything at all like mirabelle's time-resistance power, blessed upon her by the high priestess? did siffrin escape from their fucked up time island, sent out with the power to eventually save it?

odile is sooo close to figuring it out... she just said "verRrRy interesting"

BWAHH new post-level-2 convos!! so cute!!!!! love bonnie's new siffrin-patting routine..... and odile has it SO figured out, when is she gonna say something!!!

siffrin was afraid that he smells like timecraft? bc of looping or bc of repressed reasons.... probably bc of looping,

time for siffy's daily bathroom stall breakdown!!

they even went in happy this time and still managed to psych themself all the way out hdgshsjf

GHOST SIF??? GHOST SIF ON THE WAY TO THE KEYKNIFE??????

BWAHHH ODILE RUFFLING SIF'S HAIR!!! I WAS WAITING AND WAITING FOR MORE PEOPLE TO PICK UP ON IT BEING OK TO TOUCH THEM!!!

"in this moment, you are loved" god it is going to be so hard waking up next loop 😭

HAIR BRUSHING!!! THIS IS SO PEAK

i'm worried that the king's "isn't this the best moment of your lives" rhetoric is going to slowly gain appeal as sif goes through more and more loops... like. they crafted the perfect loop with their found family. they *can't* change it any more, make it any better. ...

EHAT DO U MEAN "NVM" ISA!!!!!! oh my god i can't believe you won't confess until siffrin is like more emotionally centered and open and ready to handle that kind of thing... why r u sooo considerate -_- ur killin them isa

oh my god why is it even worse why is the end of the loop even worse this time oh my GOD sif is gonna be inconsolable I'M inconsolable not isabeau reaching out im sobbing on da couch

ngl i kinda hope this time siffrin is just defeated and doesn't banter about shit and everyone is worried as fuck. sorry sif i just think it would be interesting. that flash of him slaughtering the tutorial sadness was so sick. esp the unique auto-rewind. more of that shit

they did the first convo w mira fine.. nvm i guess.... if that never happens that's gonna be my first fanfiction

another ghost siffrin... after i looped to unlocked floor one to look for articles....... :o

not beau saying "normally i'd be worried about this, but sif doesn't seem worried at all!" when i'm about to touch the tear specifically in order to die...

did the king used to hang out in the observatory... did he write that word (the country's name?) on the papers, and wear out the spot on the globe....... he did find a new home here in vougarde such that he's decided that he can't lose this one too, at all, ever...

i got to loop 30 and i was surprised bc i figured i was at like 25 tops. and now im at 37? i don't think it's been 7 loops since then...???

i've started dreaming about the tick of a clock.. i'm kinda worried i've started wracking up too many loops... i did just zip back and forth across the house a half dozen times checking various items and dead ends....

AHH AUTO REWIND FROM KING ASKING WHERE SIF IS FROM???? followed by "you do not answer" which. implies that wasn't the case before the rewind.?? maybe more like "you do not think about it" l o l oh sif 😭😭😭

i was about to complain that it won't let me zone out of the dying-and-bonnie-running scene but um. different this time. thank you for not letting me zone out,

YEAH IT'S LOOP 40 NOW!! this is right after loop 37 (with a small auto-rewind between)

😭😭😭😭😭😭 isabeau pleeeeease:

hanging out with loop and - we saw the kings first attack?? but how would the rest of the party even get that far without sif?? they'd die to the first rock trap????

oh good sif noticed too. "who was the king attacking".... did a siffrin remnant help the party, has he looped so many times that he can be in multiple places at once???

was the king kmsing??? who tf would he be attackinggg

does the loop end when siffrin loses hope?? but no, then the very first time they defeat the boss they wouldn't have looped... but no, if the handmaiden is just talking shit unrelated to the looping then that coulda still made sif think the loop was fucked, which fucked the loop?

it's kinda heavy how many times you have to k your s in this game... esp when you don't actually have to but it's, like, more convenient than 5-30 extra minutes of running around

siffrin tripping so they don't seem so creepily overpowered is SO sad 😭

fsr it's sadder than going through the motions of a conversation, or tripping bc you tripped last time... it's a whole new lie to offset a whole new problem...

oh yeah my other loop theory was that it ends when siffrin gets too reminded of the northern island..? the memory of the future or whatever the fuck from the big attack idk

siffrin rewinded after his friends saw the ghost.... kinda matches my "when he loses hope" theory. when he feels alone? when he's utterly lost with no clue what to do next..? (lol sif restarting every loop just bc he doesn't have plans for what to do after winning)

NOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO NOT HAVE TO GO GET THE KNIFEKEY EVERY TIME BUT I DO HAVE TO... BOOOOO...... where's the consistency, loop!!!

i can use a memory to equip it for the boss fight but idc as much about that.... i just wanted to be able to check out the dead end rooms more often instead of having to use the crest to get the knifekey every time....

memory of ghosts, no effect??

oh, the vision of the future happens on the first attack always.. not when the king kills you always...

having the knifekey for the fight kinda isn't worth it.. siffrin only has one measly paper attack anyway, so i usually have them on potions and items duty.... gotta keep mira brothed up so she can cast the super duper shield every single turn

"it's fine. she isn't real to you right now either" god siffrin is gonna be so fucked up when they get out. siffrin is gonna have "everyone else is an NPC" brain

finished doing all four quests together for the second time, and sif's commentary at the end is reeally hitting my "eventually sif will understand the king's pov of wanting to freeze one perfect moment forever instead of going forward to inevitably worse shit" theory :(

"you've noticed you're starting to forget whole loops" AHA...... i'm so curious tho what was sif doing in those skipped loops. ig presumably it'd be whatever they did in the next loop that they actually remember? sticking to the plan several times in a row till it sticks,

does loop remember the skipped loops??

hm. whenever the loop ends early Not due to death (the little auto-reverses) maybe sif just.. forgot everything after that moment? till the normal king attack moment ....? or whatever death they find?

i wonder if the headache of not being able to say/read/think about the northern island is caused by many tiny loops, sending you back to the moment before you said/read/thought it, happening however many times it takes for the rapid time travel to make you so sick you just don't

i teach kid's music classes, and sometimes i'll practice one or two dozen verse variations, then i get to actual class and when i actually do that song i can't remember which variations i've already done? and it gets worse with each class i teach from that lesson plan. so dw siffrin i get it,

ok but wtf is up with the head handmaiden. what's she got to do with this. she's obviously more involved than she seems, she knows Something about the end. and imo it's sus that she was able to bless mirabelle to be impervious to the curse, how's she able to do that.

assuming that the king used to live in the house (spending lots of time in the observatory), euphrasie would've gotten to know him... perhaps seen the beginnings of him getting fucked up powerful...? thought she could handle it on her own but she couldn't?

are the mini auto-loops a meta "reload from last save"? i think it's the same quick rewind sound as actually reloading... i don't do it super often bc why not just loop back and keep my silly little mistake in, but i've done it 2 or maybe 3 times....

this game does such a good job starting in medias res. level 45!! i'm past 70 now. i feel like there's a definite chance i'll hit 90 which means siffrin will have done as much fighting in these loops as they did with their friends through months of travel and adventure.

choosing all the emo answers to the loop convo about how using your dagger would be faster than finding a tear to kill you. sorry frin not my fault you are depressed as fuck

LOOP GOT POSSESSED IN ORDER TO ALLOW ME TO K MY S MANUALLY??????? ??????? damn i had something actually important to talk about this loop too

I HATE PICKING CONVERSATION CHOICES WITH LOOOOOP I WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME OF BOTH OPTIONS IM SO SPOILED!!!!

AHHHH FRIN FIGURED OUT THAT IT's THEIR COJNTRY! THEY TALKED ABt JT! THEY TRIED TO SAY IT!! BWAHHHHHHHH that was so fucking sadddd oh my godddddddd sif's poor clueless friends trying to stop whatever the fuck was happenin 😭😭

is the king's 9999 attack just saying the country's name, lol

wish craft . . .

oh my god oh my god he's gonna torture my friends to death in front of me oh my god holy shit oh my god oh no oh no oh no oh no

say the name siffrin!!! think the name!!!!!!! it'll fuck you up bad enough that you loop!

oh... sif is repeating their wish over and over..... like when they carve

well. finally a loop where sif wakes up freaking out so bad that their script with mirabelle gets way way off track. lol. just like i wanted. haha. shit

I CAN READ THE ISLAND BOOKS NOW???????? damn worth it fr sorry bonbon

i forget if i mentioned that i was thinking about how siffrin doesn't rly have much to look forward to, like his friends are about to disband...?

i was chatting w ari about it lol when she helped me defeat the king earlier, she was very concerned about how sif didn't have a home to return to, all his friends were talking about going back to their homes but where would sif go, isn't that sad

speaking of ari. very four year old raised by lesbians quote: "i like isabeau's name but i don't like his gender..."

siffrin dont get emo about how they don't hug you that first evening you literally already know why, they think you don't like it

damn. forgot about the rock

i had been thinking that the way the island was erased must be similar to the way the loops work, but couldn't fathom how time manip could erase a whole island. the magic being more general makes more sense. did someone wish away color as well....

i love magic systems where belief in a thing makes it more real but jeez this is scary

i was pretty on track with guessing that non-death loops happen when siffrin loses hope. it's whenever he goes oh fuck oh god i wish that hadn't happened

gotta say. i'm getting soo sick of running around unlocking doors so that i can go down a tear dead end for the nth time. plssss let me loop to "some doors unlocked; tear crest not used" 😭

i'm also starting to get low on loop-forward sparkles...

oh wow. siffrin had a really bad dream this tear-touch loop-back. i really can't ever use the dagger he would get plagued by the horrors. not that he isn't already, but,

i love to draw characters with horrifiedly blank expressions and very very tired eyes i can't wait to draw siffrin. lol

this game was made in a lab for me

every time i accidentally get into a fight with a sadness i'm like "siffrin is so fucked up at this point he should be able to just glare at them and scare them the fuck off" and then i remember that i literally currently have that mode equipped, me and the sadness just dodged in the same direction

can i at least get a memory that lets me one-hit KO the sadness crests- wait holy shit i just opened my craft menu and i literally have a new scissor craft called (just attack) when tf did i get that

.... was siffron's island erased specifically because they got gud at wish craft, and that's a power that the world shouldn't be able to harness...?

OH FUCK THE "remembering the name" STAR WAS SO SYMBOLICALLY STRIKING THAT I DIDN'T RVEN REALIZE THAT IT WAS ACTUAL COLOR...

nooo.. no one even reacted to being poked in the gardening room squeeze? right when sif needs it the most? let's make this set of the loops the worst set ever 🤗

what the Fuck is up with croissants though

i can't believe loop got siffrin to admit to themself that beau was planning to confess and siffrin is just using it to beat themself up. "poor isabeau, he probably can't help having a crush on shitty ol me".

i wish i could give siff a good loop but doing the missions makes them sad now 😭

wow. earlier i was like "what if the king is actually siffrin, weird-magic-shenanigans style". bc sif does have some similar thought patterns. but i was like no that's silly. but now this sad diary is talking abt making another self to talk to????

i also wondered if loop is some kinda shade of siffy??

i am writing this tweet while i let siffrin look through the big window in the observatory for a while. as a treat :(

OH THANK GOD.. ISABEAU IS TELLING SIF A NEW JOKE...: that's a much better treat 😭😭😭😭

oh no nvm their second thought was "i'll need to remember to laugh next time"

why don't siff's friends react anymore when he pokes them in the gardening room. it doesn't make sense.....

finally.. my "sif is quiet and moody and everyone notices" loop.......

sif has been super hungry in the commentary lately... more than normal i think... all those wish loops taking a lot of fuel?

have ppl not been reacting to sif's pokes bc they don't want to bother him when he's already obviously having a rough day...

i liked when they sat on the floor after bumping into the table. so real

finally got that death talk with bonnie.... i wonder when i'll get talk #2 with the other characters... odile has been quite sus of me for ages when's she gonna come out with ittt

ISABEAU PUSHING SIFFRIN AWAY.... probably bc siffrin was being very... sudden and depressed and desperate about it...?

did the daydreaming one's sister move to the northern island or something...

THE LIST IN EUPHRASIE's OFFICE!! it's who wished to save vougarde, and who wished for something else!!

bwuh. thinking about the strength behind the wish "i wish i hadn't fucking done that" when you reach out to someone and they push you away

loop confirmed/unified my theories about why siffrin loops back without death sometimes heheh... the specific wording of "something that feels like the world is ending" or whatever also seems in line with my theory that siffrin is scared of leaving their friends tomorrow

they've got croissant trauma. they've got banana trauma. a cheap continental breakfast is siffrin's worst nightmare

poetic that euphrasie finally heard and replied to me on loop 99. waking up on the big double O more hopeless than ever! ☺️

gotta say it so funny that siffrin is forcing themself to try to get everyone's skills in order to beat the king faster when i beat him easily in probably less than half a dozen rounds last time. forgot to even equip the keyknife! these half-assed quests are taking longer than that...

fucked up house??????

i keep accidentally walking right back out of the door i walked into, lol. this is fun though!

also. ghost ✨???

oh.. the ghost ✨ figure i saw was siffrin, with a black hat..?

maybe.. this is the universe's way of granting both wishes...... vougarde is saved, but stuck in time forever. looping the same day of salvation.

i had wondered what would happen if (once?) siffrin totally lost hope, sure that there was no chance of ever, ever getting out. bc when they lose hope they restart. so they'd just. restart immediately. constant loop. with no chance to do anything to regain that hope.

ghost sif time :3c

mal du pays means homesickness...

SIFFRIN TRIPPED AND IZA CAUGHT HIM.. they're touching !

i've been playing at work but i have to stop and actually do some work now.... ty for taking good naps today baby :')

i can't believe mirabelle and siffrin are canonically moirails now

BUT... BUT WHY DOES SIFFRIN HATE CROISSANTS???

also i saw something on a map i was using about a starry hat?? i never got a new hat...

i also never managed to find the book with the tree on the cover again, now that i could read it...

i'm gonna have to find a full 100%ed playthrough to watch on youtube 🫡

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reading through ISAT socmed... the first time i saw one of the in-world swears in the game i was like "lol stormlight archive vibes" so it's very funny that one of the first posts i see is "my world building advice is to learn from brandon sanderson" i was sooo right. so true

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makes no sense to me that mirabelle asked siffrin to not spoil her on their convo topics... not spoil on where the convos *went* sure, but how does she not want to know the basic facts that siffrin now knows about her 😭 so wild

if one of my friends was in a time loop i would be like. please sit down and summarize everything we ever talked about so i can be caught up. but thats just me

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found some youtube video compilations of missable dialogue/events we are so back

AGHH why does this person not show the full cutscenes 😭😭😭 pls i don't want to have to do a whole ass entire top to bottom loop w like 20 object interactions...... maybe i'll just do it at work tomorrow while the baby naps 😩

at least it was pretty easy getting the initial croissant scene ☺️ but i am NOT redoing the entire last two acts to get the related final loop scene or whatever it is -_-

yayy that one's big enough that i found a video of it ☺️ i do wish i'd been able to do it in game myself instead, but. not redoing half the blinding game rn

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i Am doing a full loop to get the odile thing though... and in doing so i realized apparently i didn't go through the friend quests manually enough times, sif just had a bit of a mental breakdown abt odile's. which does lead up to the last-loop breakdown better!

NOOO I WAS 3/4 OF THE WAY THRU THIS LOOP TO GET A CERTAIN SCENE AND i was on autopilot and meant to use a crest on the tears but i didn't have the crest yet so selecting "yes" meant touching them and dying fuck meee

i hadn't saved at each floor bc i didn't want to touch my save files w this new offshoot canon...

i'm not actually quite sure what info gets carried over from the previous loop when you loop back to the same floor instead of the beginning or forwards? i'm just gonna try and do floor 3 again and see if it works....

either relooping level 3 messed it up or i wasn't able to get enough suspicion points bc the plantain chips didn't make me sick. gonna go slip on the banana five times and try again

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... i just used the dagger for the second time and now i'm stuck on a plain black screen and i legitimately can't tell if the game is broken or if the game is making me sit and wait for sif to bleed out

ok it's definitely a bug. wow this is so poignant it really does feel like i fucked around and found out

this is so funny i can open my pockets but i can't use the dagger or call loop.

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I DID IT I GOT THE SCENE!! it was good i'm glad i saw it. wish i hadn't fucked up and had to do it all twice but i DID IT

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

wild blue yonder

the tardis can regenerate itself...... !!! I mean, wait we knew that already kjhkjh but I just connected the dots now that... that means The Time Lords mined and mauled the child just to make their cars better, as well. Damn...

in classic who u used to have to use ur imagination to pretend everything wasn’t a wobbly set... now u have to use ur imagination to pretend everything isn’t a greenscreen :/

"is that who i am now?" the shocking thing isn’t that he is gay (that’s what donna interprets) the shock to himself is voicing how horny he is lol

Someone is gonna say gravity and that's gonna be fucking weird

"it would take trillion years to get that far” chills!

"no one is ever been this far. till us. and this ship" colonialism fiction dna shining thru

“you little streak” <3

"she'll move on" "not shaun, he'll go to that alleyway every year..." \ten at the alleyway to see rose parallel....

Ghost aroma!!!

blue and orange motif....…………… 13 aesthetic moments.... [13 and Swarm coded? / aka entropy/life coded?/donna and the doc...]

“maybe there's a tribe and they worship it… (…) time passes and the city falls... and there's the tardis" beautiful!! I'm could do somth w/ re: w/ the doctor and their companions. (eyes emoji)

"it got complicated" UNDERSTATEMENT OF A CENTURY #2

"The notion of shape is strange." "it limits" literally current architecture theory

This is so nofna solar system-core

love a classic “anti matter hates matter” story

[the no-bodies…?....cousins to the the could have been king ... with his army of never wheres…?]

This feels very [doctor trying to figure out their body in each regeneration] [intentionally?] this is so end of evangelion poster-core

"it’s strange enough my face coming back, but not this big" / [metaphor for reboots?]

This episode is like the clamoring for us to get a castrovalva 2 escher-like world again next season

"that's not gonna work either" i love these idiots

"why does it have to be one last trip?" rtd ringing moffat / gatiss / gardner / etc and being like like -

ok but follow this reasoning: if the doctor is the same person bc they keep their memories (as the show makes a point of.... constantly) ... and if the memories make the person ... then indeed an entity that copies the memories is the same person, is it not? Where do we draw the line between who’s “real” and who isn’t, in this scenario?

A CREATION I DEVASTATED / literally watched WoM two seconds before this w/ ten all "everything i do just makes it happen" sdjsdkf this is what i mean when i say the doctor has never Processed anythingggg since that Bottom Pit moment

"it wasn't your fault" "i know! (but it stil sucks!!!)" me at therapy like

"WHY DOES HE NEED YOU?" me, Pavlovian tone: because he is lonely...

“when something is gone, it keeps existing” → highlight this!!!! this is gonna be the new thesis statement about Grief!!! this is gonna be The Point for the next 4 years lol

It's very fun to watch this after marath6ning all of ten's era bc it's like... that boy never processed any of that shit. did 11 process shit? did 12? 12 maybe a little but really i think they just got even more trauma (bill ): ) dkdksks and don't get me started on 13. basically what im saying is the doctor Never did get a break on between waters of mars up until now... [and i guess to go further never did get a break after since like....... freaking ghost light skskskskkjkj seven is still There. we don't think about that enough.]

Donna being a clone fucker is not a headcanon ever thought i had but im glad its been confirmed now "donma doesn't think she"s stupid" im sure rtd has launched this exact same rant on so some unwilling family members while browsing ao3 "stop copying and make up your own minds" social commentary / commentary on reboots again / core "individualism > society" dr. who 101 messaging

The not things are kinda.... cute? skdksk if they weren't murderous they look like ppl to hang out w/ and play videogames......

"what do you want?" "you tell us" fundamental doctor-companion dialogue....

"love letters don't travel very far" put a pin on that...

ok.... ARGHGHGHH LET ME THINK THINK THINK skskks me failing at CBT be like

What if the doctor is from our universe. what then the doctor being like we have to mill ourselves immediately feels very 13

this is like "what if turn left and midnight but they go through it together this time <3" fic "where the walls are thin and anything is possible" eyes emoji

"that copy was 99% donna" so maybe re:earlier... what the show is saying between copy vs real is that it's all about the x factor, the 1%....

CONCLUSIONS! lived up to the hype! i think it's a bit 13-era vibe in that it's clearly influenced by all the prestige space-base-isolation scifi we see in the ~cinema now every year. the aesthetic is hitting that vibe (and going to the root, there's also a very clear Alien influence). kinda wish we had more one offs just like this one :( bc i feel the other 2 specials have too much Work to do, so there's not enough time to do.Fun like lore and character stuff. Execution wise is very successful. the switcheroos work. the callbacks work. there's a lot of character stuff happening ("I just realized I'm still working through that!") but it doesn't interfere w/ the adventure itself. My one grip is there's a couple shots that do feel too green-screen-y, but overall the ep is visually amazing. def only a story you could do now. also I love that the NMDs were like "rtd is gonna retcon the timeless child!!! everyone hated it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he was like "cool. now watch this" lollll king moments. rare moments where it feels like we live in the best timeline.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.

the maquis (ds9)

standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?

ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up

it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird

anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great

i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip

one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me

should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever

i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end

what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it

but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border

like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!

quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.

gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.

i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM

my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case

otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time

TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.

[psychologeek]

Uncovered Blade

"Who am I? (to disapear)" - Chapter 1, Part 4  fic | Part 1 | index

@thepromptfoundry

Getting back to the explaining, hopefully. I'll try this for Pride 2 Disability Boogaloo. Bc Nonverbal Cass is something we don't see a lot - especially not characters with no concept of langauge. more in A/N. If you haven't read the fic, I highly recommend to at least familiar yourself with the first chapter before continueing reading.

[TW: post-dehumanization (Weapon thinks of itself as "it"), mention of blood and child taught to violence. lmk if need more. my words are little hard now.]

Weapon is changing. 

Uncovered blades are seen - it had to find new covers. There were people looking and noising. It took time, but Weapon found the pattern. They pointed and stared at the blood-on-fabric, at the arms, at the uncovered stomach. They were looking and noising at the soft prey with all the soft parts all show up.

Bb!Cass: why ppl stare?

A random person: am I seeing ghosts or hallucinations???

*panicking over this kid, who's wearing bloody lingerie.

Bb!Cass: they surely see me as weak. I must show them i'm not a prey. And find better camouflage.

Even when Weapon and dagger point at them they don't stop. Just noising even more, their  body bends and goes in ways it can't understand.

Random person 2 *nearly shitting himself as he come across this little girl in a dark alley*: wtf!?? Omg, girl, u need help??

Cass *hiss*: if I threat enough, they would go hurt someone else.

It finds new covers. It takes them. Big cover, like a shirt but open, from a chair. It's bigger than all the covers, up and down, together. It's thick and warm and feel – It feels – ( Good? )

It's very important for me that you know what Cass finds is a leather jacket. It's too big for them, and they keep it for years, until it's all turn up.

Years later, Jason buys a similar jacket in a second hand shop. And it's the first time in years he remembers his past with anything but anger.

(Red Hood wears a red helmet to remember why he needs to do this, yes. But he also wears a leather jacket to remind himself who's he doing it FOR. Because it isn't about hurting people. It's about protecting those who needs it the most. )

There are green, metallic monsters all over. It eats things and doesn't let go. People come to feed it when there's light. Sometimes when it's dark as well, but not as much. Weapon watched it before. The monsters are common, fed in different times but constantly. The monsters have a big weakness - they don't move. Maybe they let people in the big building in exchange for being fed.

Hi, how do you describe urban view when you didn't grow up in a community, and also never allowed to talk?

(Asking for a friend)

Weapon see shoes one day. in a big plastic bag hanging by one of the monsters. ( See and WANTS. Weapons aren't allowed to want, but –  It doesn't have a master anymore.)

This is where I cry.

Weapon watch. No one's looking.  Weapon prepare. Weapon strike and run run run until no one of the monster's people can find it.

The monsters:

(Weapon has shoes now. Keep the feet from getting hurt, from getting cold.) Pants..? Fabric long and cover all the legs, so no one see the soft skin and prey. There was a big box, just reach and take. It's too big but rope is easy to get and tie up the edges. Dagger is covered and tied to pants rope. It cut through wood and not flesh. It slices open plastic bag to find food (not veins); 

It's no longer a weapon – Just a blade.

Yes I am very normal about the transformation, and the way Cass project all the changes on the dagger 😭😭😭

And the growth, in general.

And just.

A/N:

abt nonverbal:

I'm not there. I do speak, mostly. But I try to portray what it's like when the concept of langauge is a struggle - bc it isn't always about "why don't you use your words"

Sometimes it's about understanding that there are words. That there is a way to make others understand. And by "words" I also mean signs (like in sign langauge).

(And yes, it can be scary. But it can also be funny. And strange. And everything, just like everything in life.)

What I loved about writing this fic, is how Cass is very clearly disabled in many ways - but it doesn't mean helpless or incapable.

Cass's disabilities are both biological, aka born with (autistic), psychological (raised as a weapon), and social (homeless, no parental support).

But they go on. They do the best with what they have.

And I love them for that

(Deep inside, I'm getting closer to comfort my inner child. Reminding her that she's doing her best. That it's not her fault. That things would get better.)

[seawitchkaraoke]

It's fascinating yeah and there's really two types of things here, there's certainty about yourself and certainty about the world.

And when it comes to yourself it's like... of course you know better than anyone else because you're the only one in your head. You're the one who knows how you feel and think, so you're the one who can take all that and say I am this or I am that - no one can really tell you they're wrong bc they're not in your head, what do they know? (though of course people still do insist they know sometimes)

But at the same time. No one can tell you you're wrong. It's both freeing and terrifying. If I'm wrong about some easily verifiable fact, anyone can look it up and correct me. If I'm wrong about an unverifiable fact like if there's a god or not, well there's no way to tell whether i'm actually wrong but at least you can discuss those questions with people on a basis where everyone operates with the same ground knowledge of hard facts (at least that's possible, of course people can also bring their own non verifiable experiences into that).

But when it comes to your own mind? The only way to figure out whether you're wrong is by figuring it out yourself. No one can tell you. Sure you can describe your feelings and thoughts but that can never fully bring across what you're actually experiencing. And you can't really compare either. I can express that I feel a certain way and you can say you feel that too but we might be talking about very different experiences and not even know it.

I am fairly confident in myself, I wouldn't say I constantly doubt my own identity but I wouldn't say I'm constantly 100% sure? Especially when I have to put words to it. I know I am me but which words i'd use to describe me changes constantly. Good thing is just for a lot of it it doesn't actually matter - if nonbinary feels right i'm nonbinary and if that changes i can just tell ppl different pronouns again it's fine. I don't have to fret about getting it 100% right - took me a long time to learn that.

World things are different. World stuff is even more fascinating. Because we all live in the same world and yet so many of us are so entirely certain about entirely conflicting things.

I have friends who are 100% certain that there is a God. They don't ''believe'' that there is a god, they know it. They'd have answers for the whole ''then why is there evil in the world'' thing, some of them more satisfying to me personally than others (i think ''god started the world and is now mostly letting humans do their thing'' is a lot more satisfying than ''there is a secret plan and reason for everything'') but that's not the point. They're sure of this. Absolutely 100% sure.

my thing is i'm always been good at understanding both sides of an argument even when i strongly agree with one side. Gotten better at it since I stopped being certain about most things. Like... I used to be such an annoying knowitall,kid me always thought I was the smartest person in the room. I was good at understanding all sides but sometimes I got blindsided by there being another side at all, by there being people who could not see this obvious truth I was seeing. They must all be stupid!

And then I realized I was wrong on some of those and others really didn't have an obvious right answer and now i'm rarely certain about big world related things. I have beliefs, don't get me wrong and of course there's some morality related stuff like, idk, bigotry bad, but even that's not just an inherent feeling of what's true but also logic.... idk how to explain it

There's people you'll argue some point with and they will make a statement that they obviously regard as 100% true and I'll be like, no wait, that's your belief, that's your personal morality that doesn't hold true for everyone and they'll say but it should, everyone should think this way and it's so clear to them? And sometimes they can't even fathom how ppl could disagree with them? And even when it's smth I agree with, even when I also think everyone should think that way, I'm still fascinated by the fact that they can't articulate why it's true just that it is, they just have this inherent feeling of it being true and so it must be

Now generally I think if it's smth you wanna argue with people about you need to know why exactly you're so sure bc otherwise you'll lose that argument quickly, but that's not the point, the point is how are they so sure in the first place? Like... kid me was sure about things bc I'd only been presented one side and found it convincing and then got surprised by there being people who apparently hadn't found them convincing. But other people are certain of things without even being able to articulate a reason for it without some thinking? Like... it's not a matter of them not having heard the arguments, it's a matter of them just having some inherent sense of what is correct and what is not and I do not get it at all.

I get it when it's just about you. No one can know better anyway, so whatever level of certainty you can get is just gonna have to be good enough. But when it comes to the world? I believe things. I'm even pretty sure of some things. But not on that level. Never on that leve.

I am constantly kinda bewildered and kind of jealous of people who are certain about things.

Certain about what? Anything really. Certain that there's a god. Certain that there isn't a god. Certain that they're a woman or a man or any of the specific labels under the enby umbrella. Certain that there's aliens. Certain that they used to be a dragon in another life and/or still are one now. Certain that they can look into someone's eyes and tell whether they're human or actually a dryad. Certain that they're in love. Certain that they're not.

Just. How are you so sure? How are you sure of things that there's no proof for? How are you sure about the world and how are you so sure of who you are?

[harryconcepts]

part 80

plugrry noticing you're buying a lot more than usual, he starts to get a little worried that maybe you're not doing so well but he doesn't feel like you guys are close enough to ask you 😔 then one day you come over clearly really upset, your eyes are red and puffy and he's so concerned 😔 he's all "good to see you, sweet girl... you feeling okay?" and you rub your eyes and nod saying "I just need to sleep, can you give me double what i got last time?" and you see him hesitate, you say "please, you know i have the money just... just help me out" and he likes at you so gently saying "i don't- i don't know if that's the best idea" and you're all huffy and frustrated saying "why? it's fine I just need to sleep" and he says "yeah... i get that but you shouldn't be doing it like this, this isn't healthy" and the way he clearly cares so much about you makes your eyes water again😔you look down and say "I just have a lot going on right now I don't know" and he nods, moving to sit by you on the couch and he says "you could tell me about it?" and that's enough to have you really crying 😔 he wraps his arm around you kind of hesitantly but you lean into him right away so he pulls you closer 😔 he says "I don't know what's wrong, but it might feel a little better if you tell me" and you can tell he really wants to talk to you, he cares about you a lot more than you realized 😔

he gets so horny on vacation I know it 😋 he's alllllll over you constantly kissing you and pulling your dress straps down and dragging you to the bed 😋 saying "come on, let me make you cum" and you're giggling but he says "it's vacation it's the time to do fun relaxing things so just let me 😋😋😋"

the way Harry would be so good when you get a little anxious during sex .... like it's such a bare minimum thing but like he would be so respectful always putting you first and making sure you're comfortable before he does anything..... if you need to stop or slow down he's all "of course" moving his hands back to safe territory and reminding you to breathe..... he's good to keep going if you're up for it or stop for the night if that's what you need.... and if there's something specific you're worried about he'll give you as long as you need before you're ready to talk about it then he's all ears..... i just love him so bad i need him to be the one who pops my cherry

harry is so evil and mean when he's daddy... I will literally kay em ess he would pin your arms down and not let you touch until you beg enough and he would edge you over and over until you're crying then he would pout at you saying shit like "no reason to cry baby, you know I just like to play with you sometimes" and then get right back to teasing you I'm so horny rn 🤕🤕🤕

harry definitely loves trying new positions 😋 ofc he has a few favorites but sometimes he wants to do something new just to see how it feels 😋 he's obsessed with the faces you make when he hits a good spot and when he's deeper than usual he's so cocky about being able to make you feel so good 😋

being in Italy with harry and some friends 😁you're out to dinner with everyone and you're tucked into his side both so happy to be there and be together ☹️ some of his friends say a few words in Italian and harry knows you don't understand a single word so he leans closer and whispers in your ear what they're saying so you don't feel left out ☹️ once in a while he gets caught up in the conversation and that's totally fine but you're kind of confused with all the Italian thrown in so you lean into his side and kind of nudge him and he turns his head then realizes and he's all "sorry pretty girl" and quicky gets you all caught up ☹️ he never ever makes you feel embarrassed or gets annoyed for having to explain things he's just so happy you're there with him ☹️ and he secretly loves that he gets to do some translating for you bc it gives you an excuse to be snuggled close to him all night and have your own little conversations ☹️

harry definitely holds your hips down when he's going down on you 😁 he knows you get a little squirmy when he's making you feel good but he doesn't mind he has no problem grabbing you to keep you still 😁 shut up him smacking your thigh and making eye contact with you saying in a stern voice "hold still"... I've been struck by the horniness disease because I'm thinking about ... him being so stern telling you to quit squirming and be good for him .... you're shaking your head saying you can't it's too much but he just says "i don't care, quit squirming around or I'm not letting you cum" 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

harry would be soooooo so good when you're crying 😭 he's all "what's the matter baby ☹️" and you're trying to talk but you're crying too hard for him to understand you so he's just shushing you gently wrapping his arms around you saying "it's okay, you're okay baby" ☹️ just holding you close and kissing your head to make sure you know he's there for you and he would give you as long as you need ☹️☹️☹️☹️

I'm thinking about how harry is always very concerned with making sure you're comfortable during sex...... asking how you want the lights and if you want your shirt on or off and asking where he can touch and making sure you're feeling good ...... every time he tries something new he's all "that feel nice for my pretty girl?" but he doesn't make you respond bc he knows it's kind of new and it's a lot .... just so focused on you the whole time ..... vomiting blood and choking on my tears

angel definitely makes aster turn her stuffed animals around before they bang bc she doesn't want them watching 😭🤕

harry would love that you're his passenger princess 😋 any time you're heading toward the driver's door he's like 🤨 I don't think so 🤨 and he puts a hand on your back to usher you to the passenger side 😋

harry would be sooo happy when you feel comfortable enough to start wearing more revealing clothes around him 😔 the first time you wear a tank top, he can see your tummy a little bit every time you move your arms and he's sooo obsessed but he doesn't say anything bc he knows you used to be a little insecure 😔 then a few days later when you've been dressing like that more around him he comes up to hug you from behind, his hands on your sides just barely touching the exposed skin and he murmurs into your shoulder "i like this" 😔

harry would be so good when you're sad ☹️ he comes home one day to find you crying in his bed, nothing crazy but there's some tears on your cheeks and you're sniffling a bit ☹️ he comes over and lays behind you, wrapping his arms around you without even saying anything ☹️ he just tucks you close to his body and moves so he can kiss your head ☹️ he says "I'm sorry you're sad" in a quiet voice and you just nod a little bit ☹️ he says "want to tell me what's wrong?" and you just say "no" with another sniff and he says "that's okay" and keeps rubbing your back gently ☹️ just holding you close letting you know he's there for whatever you need ☹️

i just want to be tickled by harry so bad 😟 he knows you've been stressed lately so he's all 😏😏😏😏 sitting on your hips while you're laying in bed and he just attacks you 😟 definitely holds your hands above your head with one of his to keep you somewhat still 😟 you're squirming and begging after like 10 seconds and he's laughing so hard at how desperate you are 😟 I think he goes with light teasing touches bc he knows it drives you absolutely insane 😟 you're trying so hard to curl in on yourself to keep him awayyyyy from the sensitive spots but he's a lot stronger than you 😟 and he knows you get off on seeing how strong he is so he makes a point to show how easy is it to hold you down 😟 he would be merciless bc he loves your little scream laugh and you won't admit it but you love it when he tickles you 😟😟😟

anyways I'm in the mood to inflict more damage so I think he would be evil evil evil and laugh with you while he's tickling you 😁 and he would be all "you want me to stop? you don't want me to stop look how much you're laughing? I think you love this😌" and you're laughing hysterically and can't say anything 😁 he's all "just tell me to stop if you want me to stop!" knowing you can't talk at the moment 😁 you're squirming so much but he's soooo strong and he can keep you still 😁 I think he would go until there's little tears in your eyes bc you're laughing so hard 😁 then he would reach up and wipe them away pouting at you and saying "poor baby, it's just too much hm?" making you think he's going to give you a break but then he just goes right back to it 😁

being sooo grumpy with bestierry and he can't figure out what's wrong with you, all he knows is that you're always snapping at him and rolling your eyes and it's starting to bug him so one day he just says "what is wrong with you?" and you're like "excuse me???" and he just says "you've been in a bitchy mood for days now, what is the matter?" and you just huff and walk to your room but ofc he follows you 😌 you try to shut the door before he gets in but he stops you ofc and walks right in behind you 😌 you flop down on your bed and stare at the ceiling and he lays down right next to you 😌 you're not talking so he says "is it... school?" and you ignore him so he keeps trying, saying "work?" and still you give him nothing so he says "friends? ...me? are you mad at me?" and you know he won't leave you alone so you sigh and say "it's orgasms, harry, I can't have an orgasm" and ofc this piques his interest immediately, he's propping himself up on his elbow to lean over you and look at your face and he's like "oh really?" and you ignore him still, so he just leans closer and says "is this a recent development?" and you snap "i don't know, how long have i been being a bitch?" and he's all "hmmm a while then" and you're so quick to tell him "shut up" bc he's very annoying but also 100% right 😌 then he's asking more questions saying "well what changed?" and you're like "i don't know, it's just that what I used to do doesn't... work for me anymore" and when you glance over he looks like he's thinking very hard 😌

he says "do you not have a vibrator?" and you reach behind you for a pillow to throw at him but ofc he catches it then says "answer me, I know you do... or I can just find out for myself?" and he's climbing over you to reach in your bedside table 😌 you nearly scream and try to get up to stop him but he just shoos your hand away saying "I'm just trying to help you stop attacking me!" and finally he finds it and holds it up 😌 out of your reach ofc so you can't grab it 😌 then he says "looks like a pretty robust little guy..." and he starts clicking through the settings 😌 he says "even with this you can't-" and you cut him off saying "no, i can't, now please leave me alone so I can kill myself so I never have to think about this conversation again" and he just rolls his eyes saying "you're so dramatic, and I'm being so nice to you" and you're all "oh really? how is this being nice?" and he says "because I'm offering to help you obviously" and you say "🙄this is not something to joke about I'm dying here🙄" and he's sooo offended saying "I'm not joking! I'll make you cum, you know you'll feel so much better after 😌" and it's just too much so you kick at him gently and say "get out of my room" but he's staring at you so intensely saying "tell me you don't want me and I'll leave" and then it goes quiet and you're just staring at each other 😌 you hesitantly say "you... you're not allowed to make fun of me" and his face drops into something so gentle and he says "i would never, ever, not about something like this" and you nod a little, then say "and you're never allowed to bring it up again" and he smirks saying "oh I don't think I'll be the one bringing it up, asking for more, begging for more-" and you kick him again bc you're starting to blush 😌

after a few more seconds of him just staring at you, you sigh and say "okay do it" and he's never looked more pleased in his life 😌 he leans close to your neck and you're backing away, saying "what are you doing? just use the vibrator and get on with it" and he's like 🙄

well that's your first problem 🙄 you're not supposed to just "get on with it" you're supposed to build it up and go slow, so you really want it 🙄 and you're a little hesitant but willing to take whatever he'll give you so you just go with it 😌 he's kissing on your neck, finding any tender spots he can to suck on and get you desperate 😌 he can still feel how tense you are under him so he murmurs "relax, it'll feel so much better if you just relax and let me take care of you" so you do just that and relax into the sheets 😌 he whispers "good, that's good, just let me worry about everything" and he's kissing on your collarbone 😌 you're trying so hard to stay quiet and he can tell so he says "i know you wanna make some noise for me, don't be shy I'd love to hear it" and that's not enough for you to completely let go but he does hear a few breathy moans and that's enough for him for now 😌 finally he reaches for the vibrator and says "ready?" and you're over his teasing so you say "just do it already" and he's all "gladly 😋" and presses it against you 😌 you let out a sharp moan and he's all "ohhh right there hm?" pressing it a little harder and you nod 😌 you're grabbing at his arm to keep him there and he uses his other hand to hold your waist, trying to keep you at least a little still 😌

he's telling you how pretty you look even though he's sure you're not listening, and he's trying different angles and amounts of pressure to see what really gets you 😌 finally he finds juuuuust the right spot and you gasp out "right there don't stop!" and he's watching the whole time as your jaw drops and your legs shake 😌 sooner than he'd like you're pushing his hand away and he quickly turns it off and throws it to the side, and he puts his hands on your waist so you have something solid to feel while you calm down 😌 he feels you relaxing slowly and his thumbs are stroking the skin on your tummy when he says quietly "was that okay?" and you nod, turning so you're kind of on your side kind of laying on him 😌 he's just playing with your hair waiting for your breathing to calm down while you keep your arm around him and he's never been happier 😌 finally he says "so I guess next time you're in a bad mood i know what to do 😁" and you're too relaxed and boneless to even try and kick him again 😌

but being all over harry after a show 😋 you're kissing him so hard and your hands are everywhere, he laughs a little and takes your hands to stop them saying "I'm all sweaty, i stink, let me shower quick" and you're like "mhm i know 😋" and he's not going to say no to you 😋

oh yes like asking him to tie you up ��� you're so scared to ask but he knooooows you want something and he's gonna get you to ask for it 😋 he would edge you until you're desperate and then he would say "tell me what you want and I'll let you cum" 😋 finally you can't wait anymore so you just say it and his eyes light up and he's all "of course, wish you asked sooner" grabbing your hands to tie them to the headboard 😋 and he makes you cum just like that 😋

i think he would be so annoying saying "personally ive never had any complaints 😌" and you're like "oh really?" kind of rolling your eyes and he goes "I'll show you if you want 😌" then after he eats you out he's laying next to you watching you struggle to breathe and he's like "well? any complaints?" and even though you're on the verge of death you're like "idk tbh might need to try it again :/" and he's like "okay 😋" yanking your legs down so you're laying flat again and lifting them over his shoulders 😋

being at an expensive party with harry and his expensive friends 😋 he wants you on his lap so you're sitting sideways on him and he has one arm around your waist and the other holding his drink 😋 then he holds it up for you to sip, you do but he sees you make a face and he whispers in your ear "not sweet enough?" and you shake your head and he's very quick to flag someone and order you what he knows you like 😋 he's just keeping you close and you're whispering to each other all night 😋

okay I have to say something but I don't know how to say it tactfully so I'm just going to go for it 😋 harry definitely loves to tease you by rubbing his dick against you but not pushing in 😋 spreading your lips a little bit so he's all tucked between them and he can feel how warm and wet you are but he refuses to actually give you what you want 😋 just slooooowly running the head over you and using his other hand to hold your hips so you can't move and try to get more until you're whining 😋 he definitely bumps against your clit every few minutes to really get you desperate but he still wants to tease so when you gasp and buck your hips he's all "ah ah, be a good girl and be patient" 😋 your hips are fighting against his hold and he's all "want me to stop?" and you're so frustrated saying "no I just want you to-" and he cuts you off by pushing sooo deep inside 😋 then he's mocking you saying "oh yeah? I know your brain goes all dumb when I'm filling you up doesn't it" 😋 and if he was feeling really mean he would pull out again and keep teasing the same way 😋 sooo slow and controlled, making you feel every inch of him where you're so sensitive 😋 he loves to get you so worked up that you're begging him for anything he'll give you 😋🤕

Harry loves edging soooo much 🤕 he likes to tease you over and over being so sweet and letting you think he's about to make you cum but then he pulls away and pouts at you saying "poor thing, you really thought I'd let you that time hm?" just mocking you while you're shaking and near tears 🤕 he'll tease you for how wet you are and say "soaked through your panties didn't you? always such a messy girl, it's so easy to get you dripping" 🤕 even when he's going down on you using his thumbs to spread you open he says "your little pussy is clenching so hard, is that cause she wants to be filled? just needs me to fuck her so bad doesn't she?" just talking down to you making you blush bc he gets off on seeing you embarrassed and he knows it turns you on 🤭🤕

i just rlly love him teasing you about how you were worried he wouldn't fit.... tracing the head bumping against your clit to make you whine .... getting so smirky when you try to lift your hips and he says "ah ah, what did you just say? thought i remember you saying "please daddy it's too big, can't take it all the way" hm? wasn't that you who just said that?" and you're whining trying to lift your hips but he just holds you down 🤕 he even pushes on your lower stomach and says "this is how deep I'll be, think you can handle that?" and when you don't say anything he taps your jaw to get your attention and says "answer me, can my sweet girl take me all the way?" and you're nodding desperately saying "please, i promise I can i just want to feel it please" and he's just soooo smirky 🤕finally he pushes in but again just the tip and you're nearly crying but he's all "don't be a brat, I'm just trying to stretch your little pussy out so I don't hurt her" and he pouts at you whenever you whine 🤕 he keeps his hand on your tummy pressing down to make everything so much more sensitive and he's just sooooo so mean 🤕🤕🤕

he would be so good when you're sad 😔 holding you close and letting you cry, he wouldn't care that you were getting tears all over his shirt he would just do whatever he could to help 😔 telling you to breathe when you're crying too hard and making sure he keeps his breathing steady to help calm you at least a little 😔 he would give you as long as you need, rubbing your back and kissing your head 😔

[honestmouse20]

I am Back from vacation! Thought on new ninjago season under the cut :)

First off, I just wanna say that I watched it at 6am in my hotel room with headphones while my friend slept next to me lol. So I watched it all again yesterday too. Turns out I'd missed a Lot.

I really loved the pacing in this! Each character to me felt like they all had something to do and it all went towards the plot. Wildfyre learned to slow down and let herself heal, Kai and Nya both learned the paitence and tecnique to do Rising Dragon. Lloyd OFC got a Lot to do with his visions and panic attacks! I really liked how they handled his mental health in this one. Cole being back didn't feel forced! he was there bc Bonzal was essential to Ras' plan. Sora got a ton of development and I do wonder if they'll have her learn spinjitzu in part 2. And of course, Arin. Boy is Going Through it. It's a nice parallel to Lloyd also having a rough time. While Lloyd is haunted by possible futures, Arin is terrified of not being Good Enough to contribute to the team Or to make his parents proud.

This post would be hella long if i rambled about everything i loved in this season But I wanna highlight Some of my favs!

Cole and Geo Constantly holding hands and leaning on eachother (and geo's flashback to s1 being changed so they're holidng hands More)

Bonzle's whole arc and how she's a person now! Hella trans implications and also just a really sweet story when they show that she Does have agency and her creator Does recongnize and care for her

Sora and Arin's dymanic continues to be Really Good! I like how the initial excitement for being a ninja has worn off and they're starting to struggle.

Speaking of Arin, I stg that scene of him and Ras fighitng in the last couple episodes makes me think we're gonna get a dark Arin arc. Maybe he won't Stay evil (I don't want him to be a villan but they Could go that way if they want) but seeing Lloyd's reaction to his student turning sides would be very angsty and Very good

Also Lloyd in this was So good! Even tho he's trying very hard to be a Master and the keeper of the monastary, he's struggling and these visions are only making it harder on him. I'm sure we havn't seen the end of these visions and I'm sorta hoping they'll come to some big breaking point for him in part 2. Where he'll have to drag himself back up and Never Quit despite everything falling apart just like the visions said it would

Once again this show made me like kai again lol. HIs relationship with Nya and Wildfyre is So good and you really can see the similarities in how he interacts with them!

lloyd's power confirmed to be life????

why is no one talking abobut that ? did i read it wrong???

Onto some things i didn't Quite like but definatly didn't hate!

Ras' master is like 90 percent gonna be the Overlord. I'm aprehensive on this bc he's not really my favorite villan. Plus like he was Just the villan in crystalized so i feel like it's too soon for him to come back. once again gonna give this show the benefit of the doubt bc they've done a lto of stuff Really Really well. I'm just sorta hoping it's Not the overlord. Plus the powers were golden and that's Not the overlord's colors

what is timeline?????

i thought the shorts were two years after s1 and that s2 was gonna be between the shorts and s1???? but now the shorts are at the Beginning of the season and ryu is a teenage dragon? how long has passed? If it's been a couple years since season 1, it's a little less believable that arin and sora havn't progressed much fruther in their training. also no one Acts like it's been years?? But if it's Not a couple of years and Ryu just Grew up like that it's still a bit iffy. Ik they probably won't tell us exact times but I hope it's implied or Something bc im hella confused

so, tldr: This half of the season was Fantastic! From the animation being Incredible and the relationships between the characters being super interesting and realistic, this season was a ride from start to finish! I'm excited, and a bit scared, to see what part 2 brings!

[decepti-thots]

this is still not the rodimus meta i keep meaning to write but I've reread parts of early MTMTE recently and i just have SO many thoughts on the very careful presentation of rodimus as a Difficult Protagonist TM in the first arcs rn

I love this moment in Remain in Light bc it's both Rodimus being very self aware in a way that up til this point in MTMTE he hasn't really copped to when talking to other people, and also what he's being self aware about is basically that he knows full well all the ways up to this point he's been indulging his ego despite sometimes pretending otherwise. It kind of sums up why I love earlier Rodimus' arc in MTME so very much.

I really admire how "season one" Rodimus is presented SO unflatteringly for so long by JRo, and it never really flinches away from that in the way you might expect given Rodimus is the protagonist. You keep expecting it to go "ok, let's take a step back and soften it, give some new perspective that makes him less difficult" and it never really does? Rodimus develops into someone better over the course of the series, in a way I really love, but it never chickens out and says "ok no listen ACTUALLY all the nastier stuff that went on for ages was mitigated by (insert excuse here)". I find that way more compelling than retrospectively making him not as much of an asshole- not like, a fundamentally bad person, but just kind of an asshole- as he seemed for like... a good long while.

That's HARD to commit to as a writer and ESPECIALLY hard to commit to in serial fiction. 12 issues in a trade paperback is maybe an evening reading. 12 issues in an ongoing comic is at least a year. It's hard not to shortcut that by being like "ok here's some info which makes it less the character's fault to placate you while I set up the actual arc".

S1 of mtmte doesn't do that, it trusts you to stick with his arc for the long haul and it never makes the development a retrospective thing- it never tries to reframe the early stuff as "actually this wasn't as assholish as you remember".

Which feels especially good because Rodimus' arcs in the comic are so much about being proactive and pushing forward. Everything from the changing relationship he has with Megatron later to the climax of his arc in this specific story is about him caring way more about doing the next thing better than anything. Rodimus' arc doesn't need to make his assholery in early MTMTE more palatable in retrospect; it's not an arc predicated on caring that he was never in the wrong. It's much more about how having been in the wrong in no way prevents him from getting his shit together and changing, and importantly, his willingness to do so for no other reason than that he wants to.

Which brings me back to Remain in Light specifically:

That Rodimus does not want to sacrifice himself in a heroic blaze of glory is, IMO, the biggest and most important character note for him in this era of the comic. He doesn't want to retroactively be remembered as better, he wants to actually be better. I think RiL is where he makes that decision consciously, and it carries through for the whole comic after. I'm not sure until this he even necessarily realises it himself, and a lot of what he gets in the comic after can be viewed as him trying to work out what wanting that actually looks like.

It feels important to his arc throughout the run that Rodimus really is just. Unacceptably awful at various points in the early series, not because he's a fundamentally bad person (he's absolutely not) but still in ways that are often really jarring, and which as a reader you constantly feel like there has to be something coming up to make him look less like an asshole. Because it feels so unusual for an obvious protagonist figure to actually just have those really undeniable, uncomfortable, textual flaws without it walking it back at some point.

And I think one of the best things MTMTE does narratively is refuse that very understandable urge and instead commit to Rodimus as a character who moves forward instead. A lot of people talk about MTMTE/LL as a narrative which explores this idea, that you can't fix the bad things already done but you still have to do better going forward, in the context of Megatron specifically- but I think it actually sets that up really well with how it handles Rodimus right from issue 1, and it can only really manage that by committing to his massive shortcomings early in the comic, and refusing to ever walk them back.

Which I guess is why I don't really get why there's this urge in some parts of the fandom to try and, after reading the entire comic and his arc, go back and retroactively apply all the stuff he does in response to this realisation to prove that actually he was Not An Asshole the entire time. Like his later character development isn't the character actually developing over time and proving the comic's thesis that yes, not only can you become better, but that you must and should, but is instead proof everyone was Being Unfairly Mean To Him The Whole Time or something? I think that reading, that all the stuff he does which is better later on somehow proves that not treating him like he's always been that character is "misunderstanding" him? Is really... well, I have no interest in it. I don't think MTMTE revealed hidden excuses for Rodimus that were always there as much as I think it developed him as a character going forward, and I think that's really why it works for me.

Rodimus' character arc is an arc, it requires a starting point very different to the endpoint he winds up at, and that means he has to start out lower than he winds up. And I think one of the things MTMTE does really, really well is the way it manages to commit to that long enough that it hits properly.

anyway lmao the fact i wrote ALL that and i am still like "man i still haven't written the rodimus meta i want to someday" should probably tell u something. man i love this dude, fuck me!!!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[spurgie-cousin]

ok well 1. y'all are so cute and have been suggesting the most adorable dog names thank you so much and 2. I'm pretty baked and just started Priss and David's wedding for maybe the 3rd time in my life and the Fundie Piano already has me on edge so we'll see how this goes.

I'm truly not sure if I'll have any high thoughts or just wanna turn this shit off in 5 seconds so if I do I'll just add them as edits for everyone's sake.

Edit (5:27 mins in): Small Justin and Jason.

Edit (5:32): the Duggars are really involved in this in a way they definitely weren't with Nathan's wedding. I wonder if the 2 families are still as tight.

Edit (11:56): just here baked out of my mind trying to sing my old part from the Hallelujah Chorus. Notable bc Mr. SC heard it from the bedroom and said "sounds good but.....stop."

Edit (17:29): skipping through the preaching because BLAAAAaAHH

Edit (17:37): David really doesn't look that bad here. It's weird how corny-ness affects overall attractiveness.

Edit (27:45): Skipped right to the singing w/ David directing the congregation. I always assumed that was just a "I Don't Know What To Do With My Hands" thing because obviously people who have never been in a choir are not going to understand your weird flailing gestures.

Edit (31:35): skipping through again because the gd vows are as long as the sermon and if you're new here I have a disorder called Deficit of Attention

Edit (41:54): God I personally can't think of anything more embarrassing than being serenaded with some Bible song at the alter but you can really see in Priscilla's eyes that this is exactly what she wanted. She wanted a feelings fest, the Corn(y) Palace of South Dakota and by God David delivered.

Edit (43:41): ok well Pa Keller's face

And the JB & Mechelle sighting here are why I stopped this time but now I'm getting flashbacks from the last time I watched this so I'll save my JB analysis. Anyway it's just weirding high me out.

Edit (52:53): not too weird of a first kiss tbh! J*sh Duggar had put on sunglasses for what I can only assume is a joke or prank? But I don't remember there being one

Edit (57:44): another long prayer/sermon, young Keller in the background looking like my exact thoughts

Edit (59:41): had a friend join me only to be immediately put off by the peak of the outro piano

Edit (1:06:22): maybe I'm super high but it is JARRING to see people who've never kissed anyone before in their lives eat cake off each other's faces and then give a thumbs up to the camera? Don't know whether to say STOP or go off David

Ok I'll end with a big LOL at me possibly not having thoughts on this and a promise to murder anyone who saran wraps my getaway car on my wedding day. But the Duggars rigging their car to honk constantly was funny I'll give them that.

[mypimpademia]

Worth It.

Shinso x reader

TW: Swearing, reader steals a man, pure bad bitchery

Note: this concept has been in my head for literal MONTHS and now I'm finally writing it bc i had no idea how to before (i still dont know how to write it as I'm writing this, I'm bouta wing it like a mf)

I made Intelli the mean girl for this fic bc she a bitch fr

A college AU but its hardly relevant + a lil smau

Towards the end of writing this, I started hating it. I'm so sorry😭

I recommend this song too bc this is where the idea for this fic came from:

This was getting annoying to watch.

How long was Hitoshi planning to stay miserable with that girl?

Intelli and Hitoshi have been dating for awhile now. You had honestly never liked her, but you just barely tolerated her for Hitoshi. But only a few weeks into their relationship, things went to shit.

Intelli became overly controlling over him, and even tried to force him to stop being friends with you, and some other people. You, being his best friend, told him to break up with her.

Of course, Hitoshi agreed that it'd be best to do that. But not even a few hours after talking to him about it, he came back to say it didn't go as planned.

Intelli was holding blackmail over Hitoshi's head, and posed a huge threat to his dreams of becoming a hero. Most of what she said she'd expose was no where near true, but with her intellect she could easily make people believe it.

But frankly, as their relationship went on, the sight of even a strand of her hair made you want to either puke or fight her.

"Toshi~" Intelli cooed, coming up behind Hitoshi and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Hitoshi visibly cringed, but tried to hide it as best as he could.

"Hey, babe." He boredly muttered, doing a terrible job at faking any enthusiasm.

Unlike your best friend, you made no effort to hide the disgust you held for her sheer presence.

"Y/n..." Intelli muttered, her tone dripping with distaste for you, making you scoff. "Mind if I steal Toshi for a bit? No? Thanks-" She attempted to drag Hitoshi away by the arm, but you placed a firm hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I do mind actually, we were in the middle of a conversation before you interrupted." You told her. She chuckled, before tugging on Hitoshi's arm more.

"Yes, but he's my boyfriend-" She attempted to give reason for her to take him away, before even Hitoshi stopped her.

"I've got a project I need Y/n to help me on, I can stop by your dorm later though?" Hitoshi suggested, lying through his teeth.

Intelli's eyebrow twitched, but she gave in, letting go of his arm. "Bye, Toshi." She said, kissing Hitoshi's cheek and looking you up and down, before walking off.

"Sometimes, I can't tell if she's just plain a bitch or if she's secretly a dumbass." You sighed. "Maybe she's a little bit of both..." Hitoshi chuckled, making you laugh with him.

"You really need to find someone new." You told him, shaking your head. "I know, but I'd rather not chance losing my dream career." He groaned.

"True... Whats your type anyways? I know its not Intell anymore, she's probably traumatized you." You giggled.

"She did, but I think my type is someone who can really understands me, and someone I can have fun with." Hitoshi said.

"Like a best friend?" You questioned him. "Yeah, exactly like a best friend. That'd be my perfect version of a s/o." He replied, expression growing soft.

Since Intelli and Hitoshi's relationship had gone down hill, you've been there for him more than ever. It eventually lead to this unspoken romance that constantly roamed between the two of you.

But because of Intelli, neither of you pursued it, for the wellbeing of Hitoshi.

"Well, if I were you, I'd find someone and just make sure the bitch doesn't find out." You told him. But if you were being honest, it was more like a suggestion, because he really did need, and deserve someone other than Intelli.

"Like cheating?" He gawked. You were both thinking the same thing— Intelli would likely find out. But it was better than simply being stuck with her, so you nodded.

"Well, I'd at least make sure the other person knows. But it'd be worth it."

'I'm worth it.' You thought.

You sighed, looking down at your phone, the time on your phone displayed.

"Shit, I've gotta get to class, we've got a guest lecturing us and my professor will tear me a new one if I miss it." You told him, stuffing your phone into your pocket.

"See you later?" Hitoshi asked you.

You were about to say something about how he told Intelli they'd hang out later, but decided against it.

"Yeah."

◇◇◇◇◇◇

You sighed, feeling your tired feet throb as you walked down the hall to Hitoshi's dorm. Taking one of your backpack straps off your shoulder, you began rummaging around the pocket where you usually kept the spare key to Hitoshi's dorm.

You blinked, as you weren't able to find the key in the small pocket. You began searching your entire bag in the middle of the hallway, taking nearly everything out.

"Shit." You mumbled, thinking you had lost it.

Then you remembered, 'Thats right, I was in a rush this morning. Its on my desk.' You thought to yourself.

Like hell you were going all the way back there though.

You placed your items back into their bags, then pulled out your phone to text Hitoshi.

You hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels as you waited for the door to be opened.

A moment later, you heard the lock click, and the door swung open.

Hitoshi looked you up and down before smiling. Then looked both ways of the hall, before tugging you into the room and shutting the door.

"Why are you treating me like a side piece or something?" You questioned him.

He hummed in confusion as he locked the door.

"Does it feel like that? Sorry." He apologized. "What did she do this time?" You asked, referring to Intelli, as she wash the only person the put Hitoshi this on edge.

"She said if we were doing anything other than a project we'd break up, and you know what that means." He told you, shaking his head.

You hummed, and pulled out your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked, peering over your shoulder.

"You'll see." You blunty told him.

You sent your message, and tossed your phone onto his bed.

You grabbed onto Hitoshi's collar, tugging him towards you so he was looking you in the eyes, making his breath hitch as his face tinted red.

"You're crazy if you think I'd get you snitched on." You playfully consoled.

"What did you do?" He questioned again, watching you flop down on his bed as you kicked off your shoes.

"I texted Monoma and Momo to post about a project on private snap that only has Intelli on it so that it'll be more believable." You told him.

Hitoshis eyes went wide, as he mentally questioned how you came up with that so fast.

You patted the space next to you, beckoning him to sit with you.

He sat down, shaking his head and laughing.

You and Hitoshi talked for hours and hours, but it each flew by. When you finally checked the time, you barely had enough time left before dorm visiting hours were over.

"What? Already?" Hitoshi gaped, as he watched you sling your backpack over your shoulder.

"Mhm." You hummed.

He groaned, clearly not wanting you to leave, but sat up anyways so he could come see you out.

Hitoshi unlocked the door for you, but upon opening the door, you were both met with an unwanted sight.

"Hey Toshi!" Intelli greeted, completely passing over you even though she saw you.

"H-hey, Intelli." Hitoshi spurred, trying to keep composure.

"I came to help on the project. Even Momo was complaining, so I thought you could use some help." She offered, clearly not convinced that there was actually a project.

But like you said, you weren't going to let him get caught.

"No, we finished it." You told her bluntly, folding your arms across your chest.

But clearly, Intelli didn't plan on letting up either.

"Well then, I could proof read the written portion." She insisted, taking a step towards you.

"We already did that already."

"Well I'm sure there are some mistakes."

"We triple checked."

Hitoshi looked back and forth between the two of you, silently preparing himself to break up a fight.

"You must not get what I mean—" Intelli straightened her posture more than it already was, and leaned towards you. "There's probably mistakes because it was you helping him." She mocked.

Hitoshi already had a hand reaching for your waist, ready to pull you back in a situation where you lunge at Intelli.

"You wanna talk about mistakes? How about we start with you, bit-" Before you could take a single step towards her, you were being pulled back by your waist.

"Watch your dog, Hitoshi." Intelli retorted.

Damn, was she lucky Hitoshi could hold you back.

"At least I bite, unlike some people." You shot back. She narrowed her eyes, leaning towards you again.

"Y'know Y/n, you're not as good as everyone thinks you are. Everyone thinks you're so great, and nice, but I know how you really are." She said.

"You only think that because everyone's not you. Its no goddamn wonder your blackmail folder is thicker than you." You hissed.

Intelli, clearly flustered that you even knew about her blackmail folder, stood straight again. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat slightly.

"You think youre so much better than me. A better person, a better best friend, you probably think you'd make a better girlfriend too, right?" She asked you.

"Of course I do, who the hell wouldn't?" You chuckled.

You felt Hitoshi's grip on your waist loosen. Either he was getting just as angry and was going to let you fight her, or he thought it the tension was thawing.

"Alright, since you're so much better than me, show me." Intelli insisted.

You smirked. "Alright, you asked for it."

Slipping out of Hitoshi's grip, you turned to face him.

His brows raised in surprise and confusion. And next thing he knew, you had him by the collar for the second time today.

But this time, your lips were pressed against his.

It took him a moment to process, but soon, he melted into it. Moving in sync with you, he placed his hands back on your waist.

As much as you wanted to continue, you still had to tell that bitch off.

Pulling away from Hitoshi, wiping away the string of saliva that connected your mouths, you turned back to Intelli.

You walked straight up to her, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Toshi doesn't react like that when you kiss him, does he?" You hummed, hearing Intelli audibly gulp.

"Like you said, I'm a better person, a better best friend, and a better girlfriend." You repeated her words from earlier.

"I wouldn't lie to him, expose him, whether what he did was true or false, and i wouldn't hold him back from doing what he wants." You taunted.

"And the thing is—" You leaned in, next to her ear.

"I dont think it, I know it."

"I'm perfect for him." You whispered to her.

Intelli nearly toppled over in defeat, leaning against the nearest wall to support her body.

"Anyways, see you tomorrow, Toshi." You mused, before walking away.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The next day, you met up with Hitoshi in your free time like usual.

You were aimlessly walking around campus, talking about random topics, laughing as you watched random people do stupid things, and just having fun.

Except now, you were hand in hand, and the air around the two of you seemed lighter. And the look of adoration you and Hitoshi shared was more evident.

But in the middle of it, of course, something had to happen.

Intelli had stopped you both in your tracks, her brainless groupies behind her.

"Did you know everyone is talking about you, Hitoshi? And with all the things they're saying... you might not be able to recover from it." She said snarkily.

"Not too worried about it actually." Hitoshi admitted, a slightly bored tone to his voice.

"Tch, well you should be. So tell me, was she worth it, Hitoshi?" She inclined.

Hitoshi looked over at you, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hell yeah."

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[thegeminisage]

man theres so many CHESTS just laying around in the zora area

also it is AAALLWAYS raining girl let me CLIMB

these underwater/underground ruins are SO COOL i wish i'd seen these the first time i was here

YOOOOOOO MY FUCKING CLIMBING BOOTS. FOUND THEM!!!!!!!!!

shrine puzzle here where i gotta take the crystal and follow the beam. i am quite clearly supposed to build a raft, but there are materials for a bike. decided against this bc i love rafting in this game and also bc of the low ceiling, even though with the crystal as a counterweight the low ceiling ought to be no problem

actually, i should have done the bike. rafting is more fun when you're going with the current and not against it and also i'm dying to see how my new battery holds up <3

BIKE GOOD...i can't wait to get a chance to properly put it thru its paces

oh man i did a really long korok trip that with my old battery i wouldn't have been able to do!!!

there's a BED? up here at the reservoir. i slept in it expecting my bike to despawn but it was still there when i woke up

and a sidequest for helping this zora get stones for mipha's court...good i could use a break lol

NIIIICE zora fabric!!

god the music in mipha court still fucking kills me. it's crazy bc i didn't even LIKE mipha that much in the first game!! like ofc i cared about her, but she wasn't eating holes in my brain. but man...........

CLIMBERS BANDANAAAAAAAAAA AT FUCKING LAST

back in the ancoent zora waterworks for 1. zora greaves quest and 2. Frog. it's still really cool in here...

oh shit the water is gone!!! crazy..............

GOT MY GREAVES!!!

holy shit i just fused a weapon with 104 atk lol i can NEVER use this i have to save it for ganondorf. and a club with 72 atk wtf

well, i broke them immediately. i equipped one for a sneakstrike and i guess i forgot to unequip it so i must've broken them in this fight cuz they're both gone :(

uh...no...their attack got halved...? maybe i had some kind of effect going for me in the waterworks? water attack up or something? but i hadn't had any special food or armor...

OH i see! the zora swords i used for fusion have atk up when wet. it was raining and now it stopped lol. i almost panicked

:| i saved blood moon guy again and he said OH I KNEW YOU'D COME...like.........adn now he is like well i can do my research w/o fear. u always rescue me. buddy one day theyre gonna roast you over their little campfire before my ass gets here. then what. freak

oh damn he gave me a diamond??? ok fine ig

found another high/low tide cave. i like it better than the last one, probably bc this time i'm not trying to steer a shivery purse dog npc thru it on a raft

my rubber tights!!!!!!! FINALLY i can ride and farm farosh like she deserves. mwah

ANOTHER block puzzle i can't get...am i just stupid???

got my lightscale trident! unfortunately i am definitely gonna break it bc i do not have room for it in my house lol

lol sidon's wife says he talks about link constantly. "link is the best" "no task is insurmountable when i am with link" is he like. ok. like man are you happy are you like good? crackpot theory sidon like zelda canonically has a crush but it's up to us the decide if it's requited lol. i seriously tinfoil hat think he's gay. like is this all accidental writing sure but also. good lord

i am not against sidon getting hitched or whatever but this whole thing is so WEIRD...................

THE MAN HAS A STATUE OF THEM. LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE whatever look it's fine. i'm normal. this is so normal. i think this is why i left in a hurry last time actually. weird vibes i get around here. i can't be doing this shit during pride month

happily this is all i have time for today. tomorrow i wanna try doing more story lol the right side of my map is so close to being clear but i need a break!!!

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi I just want to ask something. Do you think Jungkook has been always like/love Jimin the way he is before or just when he started to glow up. I'm just asking this bc you know Jungkook has been always rank Jimin last on looks or said he look different without makeup before. I know he didn't meant harm to Jimin but do you think Jimin has been trying to look good and go on extreme diet to be loved by Jungkook or Jungkook has been always trying to hide his feelings for him but act tough

Huh?...

What an interesting question....

For a moment there I thought I had already discussed this in my blog posts? Chileee.

Now you'd have to specify which period in time you consider a glow up point for Jimin. Do you mean the period of 2014/15 when he was starving himself, passing out on stage and bleeding through his nose to stay anorexic? *Side eyeing you.

To me, Jimin's 'glow up' coincided with their debut in 2013. Those fine abs, sculpted muscles yet soft toned feminized features- sorry Jimin, you weren't fooling no one.

This was also the period I noticed JK showing overt signs of sexual and emotional attraction towards Jimin. Jimin just seemed oblivious to it. And he would begin his own whipped journey around 2015/16 in my opinion.

Personally, I believe JK fell first for Jimin and 'turned' him- turned for lack of a better word. I don't buy into this whole Jimin fell first JK fell harder rhetoric.

But I think JK's interest in Jimin began long before this period. I don't think Jk had fully grasped the concept of his own sexuality much less to have come to terms with it in any time before 2012- before Jimin arrived in Bangtan- ok maybe he had a vague idea of it, but I do believe Jimin was his sexual and romantic awakening.

Jk and Jimin have two very distinct and opposite idol personas. I keep saying this.

Since we don't know them in person, I think it's safe to assume every aspect of them we experience on screen is a persona.

That persona is a facade, a curated wall on which they project bits and pieces of their true self and often put up a performance of this identity for our consumption.

In Jk's persona, he likes to retract and conceal aspects of his true personality and censor himself a lot while JM likes to amplify and exaggerate his true personality and put up a performance of it.

As I've said, it's mainly due to their backgrounds. JK was given a lot of leeway in his upbringing which he feels puts him at a disadvantage because he ends up exposing himself too much. Thus he likes to retract and hold himself back.

Jimin coming from a conservative background with many rules and what not revels in the new found freedom Idol life gives him so often he doesn't hold back as much as JK does. But that doesn't mean that who they really are in real life.

So often you'd hear people say Jimin looks more serious in person than he does on camera while JK is said to be more expressive than he usually is on camera.

But here is the thing, concealing his feelings is not JK's nature it's his choice. And this is very important to note. He chooses not to do certain things on camera while Jimin chooses to do certain things on camera.

So when JK is not showing his feelings for Jimin it's not because he can't show those feelings, it's more like he doesn't want to show those feelings.

Thus when people say he wasn't showing his feelings for Jimin because he was shy I raise my brows- Shy my ass. Lol

Was he acting tough then? Hmmmm. He likes to act tough no two ways about that. I've said he has a good poker face between him and Jimin. If you are not careful you might think he doesn't like Jimin. But trust me, that man is whipped on god.

But I don't think that's what he was doing in those early dynamics.

I think he was hesitant in pursuing Jimin openly at the time because he wasn't sure about Jimin's sexual orientation much less whether or not Jimin reciprocated the feelings he had for him.

And you could tell not knowing these about Jimin terrified JK a lot, hence his hesitation.

But later when he was certain of both he became more confident in the way he expressed himself and his feelings for Jimin.

Prior to this you could see him fishing and testing the waters with Jimin, slowly pushing Jimin's boundaries- a gentle touch here, a lingering stare there.

He would often pay attention to the things Jimin would say but especially about his romantic and sexual preferences. Like when Tae said he felt Jimin liked men and when Jimin was asked about why he liked JK and JK seemed like he wanted to know.

Then he went through that phase where he seemed obsessed with Jimin's reaction to when other guys sexualised him and expressed interest in him. He seemed very attentive to these little details in a way that seemed to me as if he was fishing for confirmation that Jimin actually liked men and liked him- in a nonplatonic manner.

I feel Jimin noticed these things too in JK but was mostly fascinated by it. So often he would go out of his way to express his sexuality, exaggerate it and perform it as if to let JK know he was ok with JK liking him in that kind of way. Often, you'd see him egging JK on to touch him where JK seemed hesitant, reassuring JK- I think y'all know the bit I'm talking about. I feel JM wanted JK to feel comfortable expressing his interest in him- he ain't slick.

I've said Jimin's persona is a performance. I can see how to JK that could be very confusing. Hell, half of the fandom still read Jimin wrong to this day. Is he gay, bi, straight, a woman, a man, bigender- it's a lot of questions. Legitimate questions.

And I think for JK, seeing Jimin behave like the rest of BTS with the skinship towards him was equally confusing. So often he would shy away from it. Jk was going through puberty, everything was heightened for him.

It's also important to consider the possibility that, if JK was LGBTQ plus that he was going to hide it and not come out to his bandmates for as long as he worked with them- because it's none of their business first and foremost but also because it would have affected their attitudes towards him.

I mean look at the fear and panic with which they greet Jikook when Jikook breath anywhere near eachother in public spaces- not to call them out or anything but I don't think if they were straight that they were going to treat them same. I mean Taejin is as wild as Jikook but.... sigh.

So then going on to catch feelings for one of such said band mates who gives off queer vibes, he had better be sure about him before coming out to him and confessing to him lest he risked his career and friendship with him.

If Jimin wasn't LGBTQ plus it would have been cruel of him to act the way he does with JK honestly. For instance Joking about marriage knowing full well the fight LGBTG plus couple have to put up to have this basic human right- of course JK would yeet himself out of that conversation. I'm talking about that Jikook Vlive and all the time JK has squeezed his face disgruntledly when Jimin has asked him to have his kids- like why Jimin!

Jimin I feel because he is Bi whatever doesn't take this gay business seriously at all. If you've ever dated a bisexual you'd know the feeling. He is my bias and I love him but God he frustrates me for Jk honestly.

What annoys me most is I know how deep he is into JK. Like I've never seen a man so in love with another man in my entire queer life! Like shut up whippidy whipped ass we saw your face at Manila. You like that man. You like him.

Let JK put up a front and you'll see this tactless homegirl descending into that space we all hate so much and embarrassing himself left right left clinging on to JK seeking validation and reassurance- like can you be serious in your life for once Park Jimin. 😒

Anywho, I went off on a tangent there. Sorry.

But yes, this is another aspect of their dynamic I feel most people get twisted. Jimin enjoys JK's expressions of interest in him- however way he does it. Jk enjoys it too when Jimin shows him he wants him. Remember magic shop? Show me, I'll show you? And that line JK sang to Jimin that made Jimin nervous on Live with VMin? Yea...

They love each other and they love when the other is showing and expressing their love. Hell, isn't that why they are constantly trying to find creative ways to communicate their love? 5/8, love letters punctuated with sorries? Chileee.

Could Jimin's look be a contributing factor to JK liking him? Let me put it this way. People are attracted to people for a plethora of reasons, physical appearance being one of them.

Looks attract people, emotional connection binds them and make them stay. I have said this time and again JK is attracted to all of Jimin-looks, everything. When asked which part of of Jimin he liked most he put all of Jimin as the answer.

With regards to JM's weight, I think the tears he shed on stage during the performance of I Need You says it all. Jimin was killing himself and it was killing JK. Jimin wasn't doing all that out of self love much less for the love of JK.

He was doing all that because he wanted to be an Idol in every sense of the word. He was killing himself for his career. A career JK was once willing to walk away from and JM advised him to stay.

Jk defies the dictates of his career with the piercings and tattoos and gay pubs- the emphasis is mine. Y'all think he is about to be demanding of his life partner to look like what now? Chileee.

And when JK was starving himself and losing weight who was it that brought him down that ledge? Jimin. If it was a positive thing I thing he would have encouraged him.

Jk allegedly called Jimin his Mochi in that infamous graduation night track video. Did you see his reaction to when James Corden called Jimin Mochi? Baby fat cheeked Jimin was cute not ugly. And even if you think he was, JK still found that attractive. Jimin could be looking like my Aunt Becky and Jk would still fuck him.

Have you seen JK freeze frame to take snapshot photos of Jimin? It's almost always pictures of Jimin looking like the wicked witch of the west. He loves him some park Jimin memes. Loves that man to death.

How many times have he said Jimin looks beautiful without makeup? Remember the Vlive Jimin didn't want to be on camera because he didn't have makeup on? What did JK say?

Jk isn't a shallow person you know. He really isn't. He doesn't strike me as the kind at all. Questions like these presupposes that JK is a vain shallow person who only likes people for their looks. Don't get me wrong, it's a valid question, one that I'm happy to discuss but it also exposes the biases against JK and indirectly, Jimin.

Do you feel JK is shallow? I find a lot of people do and it breaks my heart.

Have you heard any of his songs? His GCFs?

He barely idolizes his subject matter's looks and appearances. You gave me the best of you, so I'll give you the best of me. What I found in you is real. That's doesn't sound shallow to me.

They work in a highly competitive and highly vainglorious environment. I think they know more than anything the dangers of vanity- it's fleeting. They put themselves through so much to appease the vanity matrics, to subject people they love through the same.

I've talked about how because JM comes from a demanding home and work environment that acceptance is one key aspect of his love language. He wants a person who loves him for who he is and accepts him without placing expectations on him.

If JK was this shallow JM wouldn't honestly have found him attractive much less love him to begin with. He wouldn't have found fulfillment and nourishment from JK. He loves JK because JK's values and upbringing makes him the perfect person for him to trust himself fully to.

Besides, for JK to be only attracted to JM because he glowed up, he himself must have been a ten from the onset which he wasn't let's be honest- no shade to him but he wasn't exactly packing now was he?

BTS are pretty but they've all undergone hefty transformations throughout the years, magic foreheads and all. So if you wonder if Jimin's glow up contributes to JK liking him, then you'd have to wonder if Jk glowing up also contributed to Jimin finding him attractive- it's a vicious cycle.

As for JK ranking Jimin last... did he ever rank himself first? No. He ranked Jimin last and himself second to last consistently. If he found Jimin unattractive he certainly found himself as equally unattractive only one step above Jimin.

I honestly think he was just teasing Jimin. He loves teasing Jimin because it's how he flirts with him. It's just the masculine energy in him I guess. V does this too when he flirts with Jimin. He teases him about his pinky, his Mochi cheeks and his glow up- Iland anyone?

Why y'all think JK looked away sharp when JM dropped to the floor?? He recognized what V was doing- don't mind me. I'm trolling. Lol. But deadass.

Jimin teases JK too by acting like he is available most times. It's the feminine energy in him. Girls like to tease their crush by amplifying their sex appeal. What better way to amp up your sex appeal than by having other people show interest in you? Jimin is a tease. Bless him.

Besides, when JK ranked Jimin first in looks he ranked himself last. I hope y'all don't think it's because he has low self esteem?

He ranked himself and Jimin last because he wanted to humble himself and by extension Jimin because he sees himself as Jimin's equal and as such recognizes their place as the youngest within the group. As he has explained, as the youngest, he places everyone else above him.

I honestly don't think Jungkook had always been interested in Jimin. But somewhere along the line while he came to terms with his own sexuality he began developing feelings for Jimin. His glow up had nothing to do with it. In my opinion.

I think Jimin caught him off guard? It's that red string serendipity destiny voodoo working its magic that orchestrating their love. In my opinion.

I don't think either of Jikook went searching for this love thingy either as I keep saying. It wasn't planned, it wasn't foreseen, it just happened to both of them but at a different pace.

I hope this helps?

Signed,

GOLDY

[zevlors-tail]

Well, I guess I'll try the game. Cause, what I'm actually doing is no way near as fun as this.

I.... would cheat on Deku with Tanjiro (KNY), Tokoyami and Mirio (BNHA). *Runs and hides.*

Noooo wait! Come back! We’re the same! ;w; Hi love! I hope you’re doing good! And thanks for sending one in! xD I have noooo idea how this is going to turn out so ah. I picked Tanjiro for this one bc I’m still on KNY brainrot.

CRACKFIC ENDING, you’ve been warned. Probably poorly written as well, apologies. It’s been a really hot minute. This turned out less funny than I intended it to be, my bad! I was having trouble thinking up silly scenarios, urgh.

All characters including the reader are aged 18+ for obvious reasons.

TW/CW: OOC/flirty Tanjiro, cheating reader.

You weren’t even sure how it first started or why. It’s not like you weren’t happy with your boyfriend or your relationship; you went on plenty of dates, you cared deeply for one another, and fights were rare between the two of you. Izuku always remembered your birthday and anniversaries. He constantly showered you in gifts and listened to you vent on stressful days. You always did the same for him. You and Midoriya had always been two peas in a pod, and that’s the way it had always been. Two thoughts on the same wavelength.

That is, until Tanjiro Kamado drove a wedge between you and the supposed love of your life.

You couldn’t put your finger on it. From the moment you happened to bump into him, you were smitten with each other. Somehow, the giant stain on his shirt from where you spilled your drink all over him just made him even more attractive, as did the way he apologized like it was his fault your drink tumbled out of your hand. As if. Maybe it was the way his hair fell at the side of his face, or his glittering ruby eyes, but you just couldn’t get enough. So of course when he offered to buy you another drink, you found yourself saying yes even though you knew in the back of your mind that this was the start of something you weren’t sure you would be able to get out of.

Things only got more complicated from there. You exchanged phone numbers with each other after your little coffee date so that you could keep in touch- and you did. Often. Way more often than you would have liked to admit. Often enough for Izuku to notice how much time you were spending with your new “friend” and how much time he was missing out on with you. He didn’t miss the way your eyes lit up when you heard the one specific text tone you’d set for the other boy followed by your asking him if you could go out for the night. And he sure as hell didn’t miss the fact that you always put a little extra effort into your appearance before you left to go visit with him. But he held off from his worries, trusted you, and put his faith into your relationship. He knew you would never do anything to betray his trust...right?

While Izuku was at home trying to settle his anxious thoughts about your relationship, you were cuddling up to Tanjiro in his bed, eagerly eating up any and all praise and attention he gave you. You were enamored with him.

Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Hey, have I ever shown you my katana?” he asked.

“You have a fucking katana?”

“Yeah. Do you want to see it?”

***

“I’m home...” you mumbled out, unsure of the response you would get. You could already hear Izuku’s footsteps heavy on the carpet of your floors by the time your front door was shut.

“Y/N? I called you like twenty times! I had no idea you were going to be out all night-” Izuku stopped dead in his tracks, his nose wrinkling and face scrunching up in disgust. “Is that your perfume? It’s so strong...why-?”

“I just- uh, didn’t have any deodorant, and I didn’t want to smell, so I doused myself in perfume, and...” 

That was a lie. You just didn’t want Izuku to smell Tanjiro on you.

“Is that...?” He quirked a brow and stared at you intensely, giving you a good look over and inhaling another breath of your perfume. “That smells like...cologne. Cologne that doesn’t belong to me.”

His suspicions hung in the air for a moment before the both of you just stared each other in the eyes, a silent understanding forming. After all...you’d always been able to tell what the other was thinking, and this time was no different. He knew.

“Izuku-”

“I left you so many text messages and you just ignored them. Is it because you were sleeping with him?”

“Izu.”

“Don’t call me that. Did you cheat on me? Y/N? Really?” 

The hurt in his voice was evident. He was trembling, eyes watering and breath hitching as you tried to explain yourself.

“I...” You hesitated a bit before deciding to just come clean. “Yeah. I cheated on you with Tanjiro.”

More silence.

“Why? Was it something I did? Something I said? Did I hurt you in any way? Was I not enough for you?” 

He spat out questions faster than you could answer them, and you wracked your brain for the honest reason you’d decided to sleep with Tanjiro last night. It wasn’t that Izuku wasn’t good enough for you. He was a great partner, and you’d definitely taken advantage of that. You shared the same interests, he was practically your best friend, and you couldn’t have asked for a more loving partner. But...there was one thing above all all else that had contributed to your decision to cheat last night, and you knew exactly what it was now.

“No, it wasn’t any of that.”

“Then what!?” he prodded.

“He...”

“He what, Y/N?”

“He had a katana.”

Izuku stared at you as if you’d grown two heads. You couldn’t believe yourself either, to be fair...but it was the truth.

“A sword,” he reiterated. “A sword. Unbelievable. You slept with him because he had a fucking sword!?”

"He has a technique! It even has a name, I think it was water something or another? I don't know, he made it look hot!"

"Y/N!"

"I'm so sorry!"

[suometar]

*taps mic* Is this thing on?

So hi all! Long time no see!

Yeah, I know, I disappeared for a year from all social media. Sorry it was so abrupt!

But I just had to.

I was very active on almost all major channels for years, ever since 2006 or so. But in Jan 2020 I realised that what I was doing online actually took too much energy and gave me less and less all the time. I was feeling always worse after staying online for a while. So I decided to stop until I felt better. First was FB which I had actually really stopped using already years ago. Then Twitter, tumblr and finally IG.

I didn't login to any channel for months. And guess what. Despite the BIG C my business started blooming, I lost weight 20+ kg, I felt I was doing things that were productive and useful, I spent more time with hubs and doggies and last but not least, I read tons of books or rather listened to audiobooks. Around 1400 hrs in total.

That's about 60 effing DAYS.

What I listened to was the funny part. I never knew this but apparently I have a thing for military scifi. I mean, give me men and women in arms, a spaceship or a colony on a distant planet, aliens, a mystery and some action and I'm hooked. Add humor to that and I'll devour 160 hrs of space opera story (10 books) in two month - while working full time. I calculated that I was listening 4 hrs of books daily and at least 8 hrs per day during weekends almost constantly last year. And this year I've already listened to 12 books. Not all of them are long of course but nonetheless they all added up to 100 hours last month.

Reading has literally invigorated me. I can't wait to get to bed to listen to the whichever book I'm listening to in the evenings. At breakfast and lunch I usually listen to some other book as evening book is on a different device. Currently I'm listening to 6 books, all in small pieces over the week.

I always loved books but I never have been so hooked on them as I am now. There's always another galaxy or another vision from future or alternate universe waiting to be heard. Maybe I just changed my addiction from social media to books. But I don't regret it a bit.

I just love good stories and having them play out in my head like watching a film but with stellar visual effects is so amazing! Try to beat that Hollywood - oh sorry, you can't! Or casting them with your favourite actors - hello!

So what am I then doing here again? Well, I feel healed. I feel that I can again step out into the world and be a part of it. It used to be in control of me but now I am in control of it. I know its not directly bc of reading that I'm healed, but it surely shut my head up and kept it from being anxious all the time. Calmer mind allowed me to think about things rationally, have new perspectives and direct my energy into productive things.

I guess in addition I accidentally grew up last year. I learned responsibility (this never was my forte honestly), I'm no longer confused or helpless or looking for someone else for solutions to problems, I know now what I want to do with my life and I'm in control of it, well to the extent I can, and taking care of myself because no one else does that for me. Also I learned what a soothing feeling it is when you pay your taxes on time for the first time 😂

I know a year ago I left a lot of ppl behind here without a goodbye. But sometimes you just have to cut yourself loose like ripping a bandaid, quick and fast and not to look back. Maybe some were hurt about it too and if you were, then I apologize sincerely. But know this: all the time I was gone I missed you all. The friendships, the shenanigans, the laughs and cries.

I'm not expecting to have those things back as they were. I'm different now and others propably are too. Things are different. But I just wanted to post this and tell you what happened last year and why I was gone. If you read the post all the way here, then I thank you, it means a lot to me. Hugs 💕

So how are you guys? What did I miss?

Ps. This says everything about me and my 2020:

@hiddles-jr @dangertoozmanykids101 @ladyoftheteaandblood @hiddlepiggle @nuggsmum @lolawashere

and others who might still remember me 😊