#maybe that's pandering to wokeness or what the fuck ever but i think in some cases that can be a good thing!!!!

[grimark]

my god everyone in the comments of that post being like "they wouldn't write the 'kill yourself' line on doctor who these days because of PC culture" yeah well what about the line in season one where the doctor said how he thinks the welfare state is awesome. did you like that line as well

[ficforthought]

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way  - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.  

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.  

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

[jaskiersvalley]

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

This has been in my inbox for quite a while so I really hope you're still in the fandom XD As thank you for your kind message here is something really rather silly.

It had all started out with the stupid raccoon that rifled through Jaskier's bins. The mess it left behind was unbelievable, like a small, localised tornado had been by, specifically over Jaskier's bins. No matter what he did, how he weighed down the lids, there was a mess every morning. At first Jaskier tried to be more conscious of what he threw away, less food in the bins, even ate more healthily because the raccoon seemed more interested in sweet things most nights. Except for the time it seemed to go absolutely feral with the tiny styrofoam shapes from a delivery Jaskier had. When nothing else worked, Jaskier got locks on his bins. However, his raccoon must have been working out because the locks were forced off his bins and the jumper he'd put in the bin because of a hole in the elbow had disappeared. That was when Jaskier decided to invest in a wildlife camera, this was a raccoon he needed to see.

Setting it up, Jaskier did feel a little foolish. It wasn’t like the raccoon came by every night and this time he really wanted to see it. The plan was to catch it with the net he’d invested in and relocate the little bastard somewhere that wasn’t his bins. To make sure he got the raccoon on camera, Jaskier set out a couple of honey drenched pastries to lure it in.

Sleep was difficult, Jaskier wanted to watch the camera but he was an adult and knew he needed to sleep. With great difficulty, he managed to get some rest and even succeeded in going in to teach rather than call in sick so he could watch his tape. Instead, he invited Valdo over to watch with him, knowing that his claims of a muscly raccoon would never be believed.

“Right, drinks, wine?” He asked, already grabbing a bottle and two glasses.

“I’ll order the pizza I guess,” Valdo replied, resignedly pulling his phone out. “Your usual?”

“Darling, I’m providing booze and entertainment in my home, you know the least you can do is buy me pizza.”

It was a tradition of sorts, Jaskier hated Valdo’s place, finding it too drab and grey. It didn’t matter that Valdo had magazine to prove that it was the latest fashion. And the bastard had the gall to say Jaskier was the one who pandered to the masses.

Now, they had wine in hand, the TV on and playing. Jaskier had to admit, it was pretty boring.

“Oh look, a moth,” Valdo drawled, sipping at his wine. “Maybe it flaps its wings so hard it messes with your bins.”

“Shut up.” The wine was disappearing at a steady rate and both their cheeks were getting rosy. Perhaps alcohol before food had been a rather unwise idea. “Here, I’ll speed it up until something comes along.” And something had to, the pastries were gone by the morning. They watched as moths, the odd cat and rat scuttled by.

“There!” Valdo yelled and pointed at the screen. As quickly as he could, Jaskier slowed it back down. They leaned forwards as one, seeing something large and dark move in the corner of the screen. Suddenly the darkness became a blur and both of them screamed, clutching at each other. A man stepped up to the pastries, hunching over the plate and stuffing them in his mouth at an impressive rate.

Just as they were over the shock, the man looked up. His eyes, like a cat, reflected the light as he looked at the camera, head tilted. Once again, Jaskier and Valdo screamed, leaping towards each other for protection, wine sloshing everywhere. It seemed the man had no idea what the camera was, giving it a good, long look before turning to have a rummage in the bins.

“That’s a really big fucking raccoon,” Valdo whimpered and Jaskier smacked him on the arm. “You’re going to need a bigger net.”

Laughing nervously, Jaskier shook his head. He didn’t know what to make of it, a large, long haired man with scary eyes had made a habit of rifling through his rubbish.

“Sleepover,” he declared. “You’re staying here. And we’re putting more food out.”

“You don’t want to encourage him! What if he’s, you know-” Valdo broke off, “-a vampire.”

“They’re not seen on films and their eyes don’t do that. Could be a shifter.”

“Sasquatch’s freaky cousin.”

“An eldritch horror!”

“A cryptid!” That actually seemed to fit. Still, cryptids needed feeding, Jaskier was not going to be mean. So far, other than his bins, nothing untoward had happened. “I’ll leave him some pizza.”

Drinking, Jaskier decided, was definitely not his best idea. He groaned as he sat up, Valdo snoring away next to him. He remembered most of their previous night and cursed; they didn’t just leave pizza, they left a note too.

Dear Mr. Cryptid, Please don’t eat us, eat the pizza instead. Love, Valskier

Rushing out, Jaskier saw that the pizza was gone, the note was crumpled on the ground and there was a bite missing from it. At least he now knew the shape of the cryptid’s bite.

“Wake up!” He poked Valdo in the side. “We need to watch this before work.”

It was the right choice. Jaskier spent the rest of the day thinking about the strange man with the even stranger eyes inspecting the pizza, giving it a sniff while the note was on top of it. And taking a large bite out of it all. While the pizza was given a second and third bite, the note had been inspected, given a lick before being cast aside. The camera also gave them a very good view of the man, bulging arm muscles, long, probably white or blonde hair. In short, Jaskier was fucked. He bought a whole cake and left it out that night.

The strange cryptid began to show up more regularly but at least he stopped making a mess of the bins. Jaskier tried leaving a few more notes but, after watching the man squint at the note before trying to take a bite out of each and every single one, he gave up.

“What’s the latest on your cryptid?” Valdo asked in the staff room. Rather than reply, Jaskier pulled his phone from his pocket and hit play on the video.

This time, it wasn’t his usual long haired cryptid man. Instead, it was two others with the same creepy eyes, scurrying past, snagging the hot dogs Jaskier had left out and shoving the bins over for good measure as they ran. His usual cryptid didn’t show up that night.

“I told you!” Valdo screeched, earning a few scathing looks. “You feed one and more come along.”

The following night, Jaskier put out more food, hoping it would be enough for everyone. He was almost scared to watch the footage the next day but was so glad he did. All three of the cryptids lingered near the camera, eyes flashing. However, Jaskier’s blood chilled when he spotted another pair of eyes in the background, watching but not approaching.

Looking back on the videos, he was appalled to find that an extra pair of glowing eyes was often in the background. Maybe it was a mate or a very shy cryptid. Either way, Jaskier wanted to see.

“Oh. It’s an injured one!” Jaskier breathed, appalled. He had upgraded his camera and had managed to turn the contrast up enough to make out a face. In a way, he almost wished he hadn’t because the sight was so terrible. The shy cryptid was scarred beyond belief, lip caught in a permanent snarl. He seemed the most distrustful of the camera, never approaching. But, once, Jaskier watched as a hand reached in front of the camera, snagged the sugar laden jelly pot and the camera was knocked askew. Just about visible after a few minutes was a broad back in a striped and spiked coat as it retreated. From then on, Jaskier made sure to leave soft foods out too.

“Didn’t you say your raccoon had a field day with styrofoam pellets?” Valdo asked. The school had taken a delivery of biology samples which arrived in boxes filled with the stuff. Together, Jaskier and Valdo poured as much of the pellets into a box as they could and they were left out alongside the offering of food.

That night, Valdo stayed over and neither of them slept. Instead, the TV showed the camera’s feed. It was about 3am, both of them were drooping when there was movement.

“Look!” Jaskier nudged Valdo who woke with a snort. On the screen, the original, long haired cryptid had a hand clasped around the wrist of the injured one and was dragging him into view. Behind them were the other two Jaskier had seen before. He gasped, “They’re a family, aren’t they?”

“They’re something alright. Maybe it’s cryptid double date night?”

Fascinated, they watched as the four of them inspected the box. It was the smallest of the lot, one of the two Jaskier had only ever seen together that stepped into the box, hands digging into the pellets. The grin on his face spoke volumes. The other once jumped in too, the two of them beginning to wrestled for who got to sit in the box. All while, the pellets were tumbling out, making the original cryptid and the scarred one hop back. They stared at the styrofoam like it had personally offended them. Without sound there was no way to hear it but Jaskier was convinced they hissed at it. Hesitantly, the scarred one picked up a couple and, without and warning, threw it in the air. They all darted away from it, glaring as it dropped. Once again, the smallest crept closer, darting in to pick up a handful and toss it into the air, sending them scattering again. However, when the styrofoam didn’t attack, he got braver, his mate stepping closer too. All too soon, they were all tossing handfuls of sytrofoam in the air and running around. It was all fun and games until the larger of the pair picked up the box and tossed it. The scarred one caught it but staggered and crashed into the bins.

Jaskier jumped as the clatter of his bins falling over rudely reminded him of just how close the cryptids were. It felt much more distant when they were just on his TV. Tense, he clutched at Valdo’s sweaty hand and they watched as the cryptids ran away from the scene. The next morning, Jaskier had so much styrofoam to clean up, he regetted ever listening to Valdo.

Now that he knew that the cryptids could play, Jaskier decided that they were probably intelligent beings, it was a simple matter of finding a way to communicated.

“I’ve written a will, told my parents I love them and cleared my internet browsing history,” he told Valdo. “If anything happens, you know which box in the bedroom to burn, right?”

“You crazy bastard, don’t go out there!”

Jaskier held aloft the tray of foods, trying to look self assured. “I have new friends to meet. Wish me luck.”

With that, he marched out, ready to settle in for a long wait, confident that Valdo would keep an eye on him via the camera. As he���d said, he had new friends to meet, he just hoped they wanted to meet him too.

[piccolina-mina]

Maria wasn't even in the episode and still got shat on, but please keep telling yourselves that this fandom doesn't have a problem with the WOC on this series and definitely don't read up on implicit bias or check yourselves.

Malex got incredible content after all that bitching done, and suddenly it's the only valid ship as if only one OTP can be of importance at the same time, but please, you're right, it's all about queer representation even if it means the fandom has to shit on some other disenfranchised (interracial) representation just because it's hetero because intersectionality is LOST on you.

The significance of anyone shipping Maria and Michael and speaking about how they represented another underrepresented relationship was dismissed because the show already had interracial representation, but that now includes a vilified brown man who violated Isobel (which by Isobel's words is worse than an innocent brown woman being murdered because comparing traumas like both can't be terrible is apparently a thing). And the MAIN, as in PRIMARY ship with the LEADS being dismissed maybe because it's hetero and lowkey because the female lead is brown.

Selectively woobified Alex only matters in relation to his relationship with Michael. As in ironically, given all the bitching about the black woman being reduced to a love interest, even when left interesting breadcrumbs about his past in the military, and meeting one of his brothers with the implication of an intriguing background, primary discourse around him is still about his relationship with Michael or how he played into supporting Michael through his trauma like he's a prop.

Michael's traumas are well-rounded and given the space to be about more than just his sexuality and relationship with Alex, but every last thing related to Alex's traumas is ignored or linked to his love for Michael. Because Alex isn't valuable unless he's specifically tied to Michael or it's about the Malex ship, but I guess I'm just seeing things, right?

What if the reason people like Michael and Maria is because with little screentime their dynamic is balanced onscreen and in fandom? What if we like that Michael doesn't cater to the Maria DeLuca is strong and her own savior thus doesn't need a shoulder to cry on narrative and the fact that he actually pays attention to how she's doing and it comes out through actions rather than words? And she genuinely cares about him and provides him solace and easy banter and normalcy? What if it ISN'T about looking at things through hetero lenses? And I guess fuck hetero disenfranchised parties too right?

What if we like Kyle and Alex so much because they have actual conversations and communicate rather than shouting declarations at each other? What if it's refreshing to hear about Alex on his own instead of Alex as the person with feelings for Michael? What if we like that Kyle can call him out on his shit and support him at the same time? And while I'm more than aware that their ship is more palatable than Maria and Michael for reasons that definitely aren't sexism and or misognoir masked as #QueerRights, Kyle isn't a fucking prop either. But he's treated like one.

What if there is genuine discomfort that the Latina lead is being decentralized on her own series for a side ship, and fandom is allowing it and upholding it and not thinking about how promotion is pandering to what is demanded too? Take some accountability for that.

And before some immature coward jumps in my inbox again to tell me they hope my high blood pressure over this show sends me to an early grave (yeah, that's the type of shit in this flowery fandom that I guess we're turning blind eyes to), I'm calm. My blood pressure is fine, but I'm just calling fucking bullshit on way too many of you playing oblivious to what's right there in your faces as glaring as ever.

The entire fandom has slowly devolved into a cesspool of ignorance, but it's a problem when someone points it out.

Y'all are on some fake woke bullshit oblivious to how problematic y'all are becoming, and it's INSANE.

I'm sorry, but some of y'all have to do better. If you aren't going to call a thing a thing or look in the mirror, then stop getting pissy when other people do. It's some crazy shit floating around, and some of the most vocal people in this fandom get real quiet. When you see shit. You say shit. Period.

If it's not uncomfortable, it's not going to lead to change.

[mingosfics]

Reciprocation

Shinsou X Iida

Getting together, friends to lovers fic. Rated T for the F word. Maybe some season 2/hero killer arc spoilers

Check it out on my Ao3 and read my other MHA garbage. Theres not enough Shiniida so I have to crank that shit out myself.

Shinsou leaned against one of the cool concrete walls in the tunnels leading out to the arena. He felt…disappointed. Disappointed and angry. Despite his forced optimism at the end of his match, he was crushed. His chances of getting noticed, of getting moved to the hero classes were pretty much destroyed. He fought back the prick of tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He failed in front of all those people…he failed in front of his dads, in front of Iida.

“Hitoshi-kun!”

Speak of the devil. Shinsou sniffed and stood up straight, blinking back the tears.

“Hey Tenya.”

“You performed admirably Tosh!” Tenya smiled as he approached and stood in front of the shorter boy.

“Ah come on Tenya, don’t pander to me.” Hitohsi stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground.

“You did! Though you must be careful, the other students do not know you are insulting them only as a tactic.”

“Tactic that didn’t work… I’ll never get signed if I look so weak.”

“Well it is inconsequential since you’ll never-“ Tenya cut himself off, mouth snapping shut as he realized what he very nearly said. Hitoshi knew though and Tenya felt his stomach drop as he watched a look of hurt flash across the others face, replaced quickly by anger.

“I’ll never what?” Hitoshi asked incredulously.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“Say it.” Hitoshi’s brows were furrowed but he couldn’t hide the wobble of his bottom lip, not from Tenya. Not from his best friend of a whole decade.

“Hitoshi I didn’t-“

“Say it!” Hitoshi shouted. “Say I’ll never be a hero! I know that’s what everyone thinks! I have no chance right? My quirk is USELESS compared to someone like you right? Right?”

Tenya was about to refute that when Present Mic’s voice came over the loud speakers.

“Allllll right ladiesssss and gentlemen!! Next up we have Iida Tenya from class 1A vs. Hatsume Mei from the support course!”

The two stood silently for another five seconds before Hitoshi blew a frustrated breath from his nose.

“Good luck Iida.” He hissed the others last name before turning on his heel to walk toward the exit. He plodded slowly toward the exit gates of UA. Present Mic, his dad, came on the loudspeakers again and announced the start of Tenya’s match. Hitoshi tried to hold back his tears, of anger but also of guilt for not staying to watch his best friend, but he failed. The feelings were too conflicting and too overwhelming. He cried the entire way back to his home where he changed into his most comfortable pajamas and buried himself in a nest of blankets on the couch, hoping a nap would dull the hurt.

A couple hours later he was woken when the front door opened and a mummy walked in. His father, still wrapped in bandages from the incident at the USJ. Followed by his other father, who began chucking shoes and hero equipment around the genkan, sighing dramatically.

“Man oh MAN that was a wild day!” Hizashi said, moving into the kitchen with a plastic bag. Shouta moved to sit next the Hitoshi, lowering himself gingerly. Hitoshi could hear Hizashi digging around the kitchen and reluctantly untangled himself from his nest.

“You ok?” Shouta asked, muffled through bandages.

“I’m fine.” Hitoshi rolled his eyes when his Papa narrowed his at him. “Fine. Im just…disappointed.”

“Ah don’t be. You kicked ass today!!” Hizashi said, moving back into the room. “We are SO seriously proud.”

“Don’t worry. You made a good impression.” Shouta said. Hizashi dropped a takeout box onto Hitoshi’s lap and then squeezed himself in between his husband and son on the couch.

“Yakisoba for my ass kicking kid, and a jelly pouch for my favorite mummy.”

Hitoshi couldn’t help but smile as his dad helped his papa suck down one of his bland jelly pouches through the mass of bandages. Hizashi launched into a story about how he caught Midnight making out with a hero named Slingshot after the awards ceremony. Hitoshi ate and listened, grateful that his dad always seemed to know when he needed a distraction from his thoughts. When Hizashi finished they sat in silence until Hitoshi finally felt ready to talk, just like his dad knew he would.

“I had a fight with Tenya.” He said flatly.

“Did you win?” Shouta asked, Hizashi elbowed him gently and hissed a shut up.

“What about?” Hizashi asked.

“He…he accidentally said I didn’t have to worry about my performance because I’d…never be a hero.”

“Oh Totoooooo.” Hizashi said sympathetically, setting his now empty takeout box on the coffee table.

“I know he didn’t mean it. I mean I really know that. But I still got mad. I yelled at him.” Hitoshi dropped his gaze to his lap. Hizashi reached forward and pulled him into a hug. Hitoshi felt a little old for dad cuddles but he didn’t resist the embrace.

“First of all, you’re going to be an amazing hero one day. We have our plan and we just gotta stick to it. Second of all, Im sure you and Tenya will work things out. You always do.” Hizashi said cheerfully, letting his son sit back up.

“Just apologize and ask him out.” Shouta said. Hizashi elbowed him again with another will you shut up.

“Jesus Pops.” Hitoshi breathed, turning red.

“Ignore him.” Hizashi rolled his eyes. “You can ask him out when you’re ready. But you should text him. He ran off real fast after the ceremony, maybe this is why. Oh hey, he took third place! He gave Todoroki a hell of a fight.”

Hitoshi frowned, the guilty feeling from earlier creeping back up. He should have been there for Tenya. He shouldn’t have yelled. He knew the other boy didn’t mean anything by his slip up, hell…Tenya had more faith in him than his parents did. Which totally wasn’t one of the reasons Hitoshi’s had the guys initials scribbled into the back of his notebook surrounded by a dozen little blue and purple hearts.

But if he had any hope of the other ever returning his feelings…he needed to nip this in the bud. He excused himself and went up to his room. He sat cross legged on his bed and fired off a couple texts.

Hitoshi: Hey. Im sorry I yelled. I know you didn’t mean it, I was just upset I lost. Didn’t mean to take it out on you.

Hitoshi: Dad said you took 3rd place. That’s really awesome. Congrats.

He stared at his phone for a while, soon joined on the bed by his cat Giggles. He ran his fingers absentmindedly through the crème colored fur.  Eventually he gave up and went to take a shower, letting the hot water ease the tension from his exhausted muscles. The sports festival took a lot more out of him that he was expecting, he would have to accept his Papas ofOfer to train him, build some more muscle.

When he got out there was still no messages from Tenya.

When he finished some homework there were still no messages.

When he said goodnight to his dads, no messages.

No messages when he went to bed.

No messages when he woke up.

No messages when he got to the gate of UA where he and Tenya usually met every morning to spend a few minutes together before they split off to their separate classes. No Tenya there either.

There was no Tenya for two days. Hitoshi felt sick, he didn’t know he fucked up this bad. On the third day he woke up to some texts and nearly fell off his bed in relief.

Tenya: I am sorry I have not responded. My brother was in an accident.

Tenya: It is I who should apologize. Please do not worry.

And that was it. Hitoshi bribed his Papa with coffee and breakfast to spill the details on Tenya’s brother’s accident, and demanded his father keep an eye on him. Tenya only told him not to worry when he should probably worry.

He was proved right the next week. Tenya had still been avoiding him, not texting him back. Hitoshi tried not to take it personally, he knew Tenya really cared and looked up to his brother. He still waited for a few minutes at the gates every morning, just in case. It was still a week of hell for him. He was in love with the guy but still didn’t realize how much until he was gone. He really REALLY hoped he could convince Tenya to forgive him soon. He missed him.

Then his papa called him after school one day.

“I should NOT be telling you this. I blame your dad for turning me soft.” He said, and then continued to tell Hitoshi about Tenya’s insane encounter with the Hero Killer stain three days previously. Ending with threats if he ever told anyone, emphasizing the need to keep this a secret. But still, Aizawa gave him the address of the Hospital Tenya was staying in.

He hopped on the next train and an hour and a half later found himself marching into a hospital room where he could see Tenya, sitting on the edge of a bed, doing his best to read with one arm still in bandages. He looked up at the sound of footsteps and his eyes widened.

“H-Hitoshi?”

“Are you an IDIOT!?” Hitoshi asked, way louder than he meant to. Tenya’s face reddened at he looked away as Hitoshi walked up to him. The purple hair boy was standing barely a foot in front of him, hands folded in front of his chest. “Do you have any idea how WORRIED I have been and that was before dad told me you GOT STABBED.”

“I did not get stabbed. I got…cut.”

Somewhere to the side both boys vaguely recognized Midoriya’s voice, awkwardly excusing himself in a panic as he hobbled out of the room, leaving them alone.

“YOU…” Hitoshi paused, forcing his voice quieter, “You went after a goddamn villain alone. Are you insane!?”

Tenya felt his face flush even redder. “I was blinded by my anger. It was foolish of me, I know.”

“You could have died Tenya. What the hell would I have done then?”

“I am sorry. My actions were unbelievably reckless.” Tenya hung his head low.

Hitoshi sighed, anger dissipating. “Is this why you’ve been ignoring me?”

“I…yes. I knew I would not be able to hide my feelings from you and then I knew you would talk me out of it.” Tenya said sheepishly.

“Yes I would have. Because it was stupid.” Hitoshi sighed again. “But seriously dude, Ive been going nuts with guilt thinking it was because I yelled at you.”

Tenya’s gaze snapped up at that, meeting Hitoshi’s eyes.

“No! Absolutely not. Oh dear, I did not even stop to think about the timing of that. I’m so sorry Tosh. For ignoring you AND because of what I said at the sports festival. I truly did not think of what I was saying. After this week you have no idea how much more you deserve to be a hero than I. I’m so sorry. You must hate me.” Tenya dropped his gaze again.

“I don’t hate you. I love you, you big fucking dork.” Hitoshi said before he could stop himself. He froze, violet eyes going wide. Tenya slowly dragged his gaze back up him, his blue eyes blown just as wide.

“In what way?” Tenya asked quietly.

“W-what d-do you mean?” Hitoshi nearly choked.

“I would like to know if the extent to which you love me mirrors the amount I love you before I do something reckless. Again.” Tenya was surprised the room didn’t catch on fire from the sheer amount of blush that overtook Hitoshi

“Y-you love me?” Hitoshi thinks he might explode, or his heart explode with how hard it was thumping away against his ribcage.

“I do. I have liked you in a romantic way since we were ten or so. It is all right though if you do not reciprocate those feelings. It would be illogical for me to assume that-“

“I do!” Hitoshi squeaked. “Reciprocate them.”

“For how long.” Tenya asked.

“I don’t know. It feels like always?” Hitoshi forced his gaze away and stared up at the ceiling.

“Based on this evidence, my actions will perhaps not be as reckless as I thought.” Tenya stood suddenly, startling Hitoshi who stumbled back a few steps, arms flailing wide. Tenya grabbed his face with his right hand, now healed thanks to another healing session. His left hand was still in bandages, but he enough mobility in it to reach around Hitoshi and pull him flush against his chest. He smiled down at the purple haired boy softly for a mere second before he closed his eyes and brought their lips together in a chaste kiss.

He pulled back after a moment to see Hitoshi with eyes really blown wide, red as a beet, and frozen with his arms still sticking out to his sides.

“f-fuck.” Hitoshi croaked out.

“Im sorry. Did I upset you?” Tenya asked retracting his hand, suddenly worried that maybe, like everything else in his life, he had moved too fast. But he had been wanting to do that for five years so he didn’t really feel all that guilty.

Hitoshi blinked and seemed to regain his thoughts before shaking his head. He threw his arms around Tenya’s neck and met his lips again. This time, in a far less chaste manner than the first. Tenya’s bandaged hand snuck around Hitoshi’s waist while the other trailed under his arm and up his back to tangle fingers in purple hair. The engine hero relished the feel of Hitoshi’s lips, just as soft as he always imagined them. Hitoshi in turn was only capable of thinking how fucking nice it felt to finally be held by Tenya like this.

This time when they parted, it was because they both needed air.

“FUCK” Hitoshi said breathlessly.

“Mmmm that was even more enjoyable than I always imagined it would be.” Tenya chuckled and then pinched his eyebrows together in thought. “I should probably ask you to officially date me now. I believe that is the protocol. Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

“God yes. Yes.” Hitoshi nodded, leaning up to kiss him again before pulling back abruptly. “On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t you EVER go on some crazy revenge vendetta EVER again.”

“I shall do my best.”

Twenty minutes later, before Midoriya could stop him, Todoroki slid open the hospital room door and then quickly slid it shut. He tried to immediately forget THAT image while simultaneously filing away the knowledge in case it was needed someday.

Hitoshi and Tenya were too lost in each other, too busy making up for five or so years of mutual pining to even notice him.

[msawesomeworld]

Royalty not loyalty Chapter 12

A/N: I am inspired to write this apparently. So I am not gonna waste it and post it. Seeing as these come in like once every full moon or something. So enjoy <3

Read the other chapters here.

“Love is a poison. A sweet poison, but it kills you none the less.” - George R. R. Martin

I woke up the next morning with a killer headache and a bit of a heartache still. The ladder I had gotten used to. When you lose someone like that you get used to having days where you get sad about it, sometimes for no obvious reason.

I got up and removed the make up from the night before. I was very tried but I still needed to be presentable. What would my mother say if she had seen me with last nights make up on? I applied a new natural layer to my face, ensuring that I looked as perfect as I aspired to be. I packed it up and started gathering all the rest of my things. I had just zipped the suitcase when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” I yelled and in walked Skylar and Robert smiling at me widely.

“We are leaving now, just wanted to say goodbye.” Skylar said walking over to me giving me a big hug.

She was followed by Robert who also hugged me. We had talked a little every now and then, he was pretty cool. Robert left to go load their car but Skylar stayed with me.

“Skype or call me if you need anything alright? God knows your wardrobe could use an update.” She said and I chuckled at her shaking my head.

“Not that there is anything wrong with your style, but you have a body, that needs showing off. Which honey you are not doing.” She said and I chuckled hugging her again.

I liked her a lot. She was practically a polar opposite to me, but I liked that. I kind of think I needed that. Someone to tell me to go out of my comfort zone. Chris used to do that too. We pulled away and she smiled widely at me.

“Remember to say yes a little more okay?” She said and I smiled kindly at her and nodded.

That was not gonna happen, but nothing wrong with saying that I was gonna try. I knew what was gonna happen once I got back to school. I would have my minions doing all of my dirty work for me. I would go back to being the untouchable, conservative and perfect me. That is how I was raised and that was just who I was. End of discussion.

Rian came and told me it was time to go a little while after that. I gathered up my things and left the room. We met Victoria and Louis on the way out and hugged both of them goodbye too. There was a very sad expression on Louis face. Which I probably should do something about, I would have to work with him a lot over the next few years. So it would probably be good to clear the air. I was too tired and hungover to be bothered with it though. Maybe I would write him an e-mail to clear the air or something.

I was gonna miss the girls though. Luckily I did have Rian back with me which was a nice comfort. Also a little strange having someone near me I had known before we were royal. Yet also someone who now knew a lot of intimate details about me and I knew the same about him. He was a sweet guy though so I figured it would not be too big of a deal.

Still it is weird having a friend that actually knows things about you and your life. Maybe that is what it is like to have true friends. I mean I did like the girls and all but they were in the end just means to an end. I would never share any of those things with any of them.

When we got back to our beautiful campus we hugged goodbye and went to our separate dorms. I lived in a flat with Katelyn and he lived across town in a small apartment. I spent the rest of the day unpacking and trying to get some rest. The girls however wanted to know everything about my trip. I shared a little with them but left the rest to be between us royals.

It took a lot of convincing but after a lot of a fight I got them to leave me alone. I was finally able to sleep my hangover off.

From there things started going back to normal. I went to my classes did my work and most people was scared to talk to me. Just how I liked them to be. Intimidated is a better word than scared. When the weekend came I had to go to a stupid frat party. I hated going to them, but the girls always begged me. I never saw the point of begging me to go. I was gonna stay sober throughout them anyway. I could not risk any of those people seeing me intoxicated, can you imagine the scandal?

I got all dressed up and ready to go. Kathlyn helped me get ready and I returned the favor. She was the only person on this campus beside Rian I actually liked. The rest were just mindless tools. The party was a great example of that. All of these people desperate to fit in even though it does not matter. It does not matter who you befriend in college. It does not change your social status just because you go the parties. Everything about them is pointless.

But the rest of the world did not know that. Because they were not crowned sculls.

While there were some conspiracy theories it was still a completely secret organization. You had to be invited to apply to get in. It was for the elite and the elite only, the people who truly ruled this world. At their parties it did matter how you were perceived, and who you became friends with. Here you were just making friends without getting any benefits.

I stood around for a long time sipping my water just observing these desperate individuals. It was a little boring seeing their mating rituals. I was also a little jealous of them.

They got to act out, they got to let lose and have fun. I could never do that here, or anywhere else for that matter. The only place where I could truly express how I feel is in the confines of my own home. They got to make friends with people they liked, maybe they had all of the same interests or something. They might have struggled through life, having to work hard to get into this school. I had too but not in the same way. If it had not been for my family someone else might have deserved this spot more than I did. They did not have to worry about image or anything else. They just had to worry about school and being popular. It must be nice to be them, having such easy lives in that sense. Their families were probably so proud when they got into Yale. My parents barely blinked when I got in here. It was tradition, how could I not be accepted? They probably loved their parents and called them regularly to tell them how they were doing here. I was envious. Money does not buy happiness that is for sure. They had parents that loved them, while mine could do nothing but school me on my every flaw.

I was knocked out of my thoughts when a drunk frat boy put his arm around me and slurred something. I was disgusted and pushed him off of me. I groaned and left the party, I did not feel like it anymore.

I got back to my dorm room with nothing to do really. I had done all of my school work before going out.

I changed into some comfortable clothes and decided to check my to do list.

I looked it over and sighed, I then picked up my laptop and my email.

Dear Louis

I’m sorry I was such a bitch. You bring that out in me, when pity me.

You scolded me for not trusting you, but I know you were just playing a game, so you can ditch the act. You do not care about me, you just want some dirt to use against me. I understand, I do the same all the time.

I stopped to read it and deleted it. I sounded like an even bigger bitch. I sighed and tried writing again. This time it was way too formal, like I was writing to a colleague. I deleted again and stared at the black e-mail again. I got frustrated and started writing again.

Dear Louis 
I am sorry for acting as I did at the lake house. I am immature and pandered so much into this world, that I do not think I can ever trust anyone. This world is so fucked up and manipulating, I cannot help but think that everyone is exactly like me. I am not gonna lie, I am gonna continue to be a stuck up bitch, who hides her every emotion. Let us face it, old habits die hard. I have this need to be perfect and that is the best way to do it. I hate you because you do not do that. You never pretend that you are perfect and you see right through me with that. Because you know it is not real. It is so much easier to not feel anything.

I do not even know why I am telling you all of this. I am not going to, I am going to delete this email and write you a proper one. Because I have no real motive to apologize to you other than the fact that I know we are gonna have to work together in the future. I like you, but I do not know you, and you will never truly know me. So it seems stupid to tell you anything at all.

Stella.

I read it over and stared at it. This was the truth, but it kind of scared me. That this was who I am. I knew I was the stuck up bitch who was taught to hide all of her feelings. Because feelings might as well be imperfections. However it is easier to live with when it is not thrown in your face.

I went to delete it but accidentally sent it. My eyes widened. That was not supposed to happen. He was never supposed to read any of that. That was an entire page full of weakness, that he could definitely use against me or expose. If he did not have anything on me now, he definitely had now. I closed the laptop and felt like crying. I was so stupid. Had my mother taught me nothing? I should never have even written that. Never write down anything that can be used against you.

I was so stupid.

I went to bed trying to just forget the whole incident. I could not sleep I was way too nervous to do so. I grabbed the tin box I always had near me and left my room. I went to the roof, it was cold up there. I liked the sensation of wind on my skin. I sat on the edge and lit up the cigarette taking a drag. I blew out the smoke and smiled a little. This was nice and relaxing in. I looked out on the campus. It looked nice and quiet on this time of day. There was distant music from parties, but looking out on the campus it was nicely peaceful. I took a few relaxing drags, before turning it off and putting the rest back in the box. I did not feel like moving yet so I just stayed put for a little while.

I liked it up here. It felt like the rest of the world was allowed to move forward and I could just sit still for a little while and watch it all. I knew I that I would never truly be apart of it. I could never let myself.

I would never experience a one night stand or the excitement of a first love. The heartache of a heartbreak, having a relaxed day in sweats.

I would never experience any of that. I was too detached for that. Too obsessed with being perfect for that.

I would have to experience the world without any attachment and observe it. 
I would never really love anyone. I would never be truly happy. I would always just be.

A/N: That was it, if you cant wait for more, read my other fics here.

[ramenfallsbutnotudon]

Riverdale Raw Thoughts

Binge watched Riverdale last night as my Netflix membership for the month was expiring. (Not renewing again until early November to watch S2 The Crown and other stuff I’m waiting on) - Like I literally stayed up from 9 pm to 6 pm this morning watching the show straight and then went to bed and woke up at noon.

Cheesy dialogue aside, it was pretty great for what it was.

But it suffered from the same thing Scream Queens did - interesting core plot, but cheesy cringy writing and too many pop culture references to pander to their target audience demographic (I’m assuming 18-34)

Wishy-washy social commentary: 

FP Jones ain’t shit but Jughead has a cute beenie and is sensitive so he’s a-okay.

 Alice Cooper grew up on the “wrong side of the tracks” but married well so now she’s determined to keep south side trash out by joining the “neighborhood watch” and using her white woman hood, white feminism and ‘come-uppance’ privilage to publish edgy think pieces.

Betty Cooper has some pent up rage that is sorta overlooked because it was “for good” (doing it for the girls and trying to get revenge for Polly - and because the guy was Black, thinly veiled anti-blackness) until it isn’t overlooked but simply mentioned . Then she initally starts using Jughead and Jughead calls it out and she kind of agrees and says she has “darkness” in her - until something happens again and she decides to “let the darkness out” and be selfish and blame it on something else again.

Jughead getting dealt a piss poor hand, being okay at the South Side school (he’s a gang member - arguably gang leader or liutenant’s son...of course he’s fine jesus fucking christ Riverdale) until the trio of good show up to...talk to him and comfort him? and they realize he’s fine.

Betty making a white feminist speech about the town needing to do better because yes although her boyfriend’s dad is a Serpent he’s a good person and although her parents told her to shut her mouth she feels it’s the right thing to do. [She actually did not care about the Serpents before and her buds Veronica and Kevin  heckled them during the last drive in movie screening.but whatevs] After the speech she has no solution or propsed ways the town can “do better” and there’s this awkward silence and everyone’s favorite punching bag has to clap it up so people blindy accept that lackluster speech. (I don’t expect a teenage girl to fix the towns problems but if you wanted to tackle the issue and get people talking shouldnt’t you also have some thoughts other than people not being mean to your boyfriend?)

Jughead not having shit and the gang seeing him enter the trailer with a girl and (maybe wanting to keep a pg 13 rating) stop him before their steamy make out session leads to something more give him a jacket to become a serpent and Betty is angry that he’s trying to survive and embracing the gang life that he’s essentially grown up around and will be surrounded by until he comes of age.

Archie’s dad’s forhead. my god. not social commentary but damn it bugged me.

Archie and his hottie teacher banging without impuity and her being allowed to quietly leave after obviously being a predator and dangerous person. (did they ever give her back her gun??? IS that what Alice uses when Hal breaks back in? Did Hal ever mention he stole the evidence to the sheriff even after it came to light FP was innocent?)

Archie wanting the pussy cat’s to use his song so he manipulates one of the band members (Valerie), dates her, uses their connections, ignores her, and when she dumps him and tells him why he isn’t shit he somehow doesn’t get it.

Valerie being acceptable to date because she has blue eyes and light skin but she’s rarely heard from when she’s no longer helping archie’s ‘music career’ but simply dating him.

Archie playing along with Cheryl’s crazy ass family “for his music” as an excuse to be selfish.

Archie trying to be a tortured soul when his dad point blank asked him why he’s lying if he wants music that’s cool it’s just unstable; someone else (Veronica I think?) kind of saying why are you being like this no one is making you choose between Football and music; someone bringing up he was only music when he was banging his hottie teacher; the football team heckles him once but they seen he’s Troy Bolton & they accepted him - everyone fucking accepted him but himself like christ and he spent the whole season searching for validation of his self worth in women and girls.

Just Archie I mean christ lmfao. You don’t like Betty, You make out with Veronica, you decide your really into your hottie music teacher and manipulate her into music lessons (although she manipulated the hell out of him as well), when your dad starts getting a boner for her you try to cut contact with her short, people find out, you decide the pussy cats are your answer, they explain they are black and because of the culture they have had to fight hard and they can’t have a white man just step in and run shit, archie the white man steps in and runs shit, archie breaks them up, Archie says he can’t perform alone and manipulates Valerie playing on her insecurities to leave the band, archie decides “he was wrong” and Veronica decides to help him, he ditches Veronica because he looked within himself and realized he wasn’t shit, he patronizes jughead and only resumes their rocky friendship because he wanted him to keep the secret about him banging their hottie teacher, he’s semi jealous that jughead is dating Betty, archie then really wants Veronica and wants to make sure Betty isn’t jealous. He keeps playing the hero...something which probably got his dad killed at the end - If there’s a s2 I haven’t seen it yet)

Veronica Lodge is hella famous by name and it’s a small town everyone knows who she is and she even points out that she expected more people to talk to her and acknowledge her divine presence but Kevin is like “lol you got overshadowed by another rich person’s death” /s but... Ethel Muggs truly has no fucking idea who she is? No incling? No rumors? Is she really that much of a rock-dweller?

The whole incest baby thing....the josef mengele joke...the fact that Jason and Cheryl were twins.....the eugenics joke when Cheryl’s face says them damn well know they practice eugenics and ethic breeding and need to keep up the “blossom apperance” (Her dad’s red wigs, using Archie as a stand-in for Jason...but I digress -  just touch on the topic to sound edgy and draw controversy but leave it shallow eh?)

The whole “lol let’s ship our pregnant daughter away to a literal convent in 2017 because I was shipped to a convent in the late 80′s early 90′s- but why is she mad at me I love her I’d never do anything to hurt her like ambushing her and having her dragged away against her will as an underage expecting teenager lol”

Hyping big bad black football player up to fuck shit up at Archie’s party and in reality he kinda did...nothing? lmao  (a la Jughead’s aminous V.O. about “no one expected what happened at that party” or some shit )

The whole “the sins of the father don’t or shouldn’t reflect on the daughter” but Veronica gets away scott free essentially and Cheryl literally loses everything because I mean fuck those Blossoms amirite lololol /S

Archie looked like Jason, got his number initially before retiring it (lol kind of insensitive to have his doppleganger become team captain for plot purposes later on ) and the Blossoms essentially used him because he mirrored Jason at the tapping ceremony.

The name Hermione Lodge lmfao she’s not old enough for the HP book reading mom boom.

Hermione Lodge and Hiram Lodge’s intials on that stupid fucking bag.

Veronica being rich and intelligent but her morals making her real fucking dumb. (I wanna go home but I also wanna coddle everyone my daddy hurt but I still wanna be rich lol but I’m implicating my mom and she’s literally begging and pleading me to stop and having crying fits but lol justice and my chanel bags hahaha and I’m gonna go clubbing and shopping even though my mom is working as a waitress and flirting with her old hs boyfriend to secure a job so we can continue to float and not drown and not be taken down by the families my dad hurt lololol omg archie is a hot prince harry hipster ginger amirite lololol the met gala lalala rich girl things new york lol)

The whole plot demand that Veronica win the impromptu HBIC dance off when big red Cheryl actually killed that shit and Veronica danced like a fucking robot.

ARCHIE HURT HIS HAND PLAYING FOOTBALL AND CRACKING THICK ICE WITH HIS BARE BLOODY KNUCKLES HOW DOES THE GINGER WONDER STILL HAVE USE OF THAT HAND ? The body heals but it’s never the same after repeated exposed trama’s to the same area in a short period of time.

.....I’ve ranted enough about this and I didn’t even mean to.

The last two episodes seemed to have been steamrolled for the sake up tying up loose ends to create a cliffhanger for another season.

Again, good for what it was....but... I truly enjoyed that the real villian was capitalism. Good job millenials.

 (not sarcasm. Capitlaism destroyed Jughead’s future a la his father FP and Fred Andrews - The Coopers and the Blossoms - Josie McCoy’s mom - “Criminal” capitalism Hiram Lodge ruining his associates lives, the small town not working for everyone -  Archie’s mom moving (after seperation), Jughead’s mom moving, Veronica’s mom moving back because she can survive in their economy on the nest money Hiram left....) etc etc

These small cosy “uppercrust white” town just isn’t safe anymore.

I mean have you seen that new negro mayor? That wealthy latina woman and her daughter?That negro coach and his star player son?

Remember - without Capitalism there is no social inequality, systematic racism, white supremacy, classism, etc etc

(also my personal issues with one of the actors colored this a bit biased....but on how things went it was cool.)

Also our culture has a real hardon for the 1950s eh? I know it’s based on the Archie Comics but Stranger Things, 13 Reasons Why...other media where we’re going for the small town america aesthetic and “traditional values” and sprinkling in some social issues and people of color for kicks.

On to season 2 I guess lol.

Don’t put too much stock into my raw thoughts, I just think shows (especially in our current political climate and reality) should commit to what they really want.

[21st-century-flapper]

3, 5, 7, 8, 13, 14, 19, 22?

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Oh yes. Probably at least half a dozen people. I have a no tolerance policy for ship and character hate, especially if you hate on something I like. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit. I’m here to enjoy myself, after all. 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

FinnRey. I used to ship it, but since 80% of FinnRey shippers seem to be either antis or arrogant twats who think they’re better and more woke than everyone else, my brain now has a bit of a Pavlovian “no” reaction. So, thanks, assholes. You only got yourselves to blame.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

Critically engaging with fandom trends. Believe it or not, ten, even five or so years ago I was pretty interested in it. But now I’m old and tired and want to be left alone to enjoy my squee in peace.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

Well, there was this one jerk who implied that IDGAF about racism in fandom. Thing is, they were kind of right. I don’t care about it in the way tumblr does, read, hating on everyone who likes white characters instead of POC ones, or dislocating my arm reaching for some whiff of racism where there is none. And then there was that one time I said that hating on BruceNat for “coming out of nowhere” while shipping Vision/Scarlet Witch was a tad hypocritical. Pissed off a few people.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Eleanor Guthrie is not some innocent who is just trying to survive in a man’s world. She’s just as scheming, self-centered and ruthless as the guys, and denying her that is denying the whole point of her character.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

There are way, way too many people in the Star Wars fandom who have only seen TFA but think they got it all figured out. Child, sit the fuck down, shut up and listen when the old timers tell you that you’re wrong, wrong, wrong and don’t get what Star Wars really is about. Looking at you, “Kylo totally shouldn’t be redeemed he killed Han Solo and was born bad” crowd. 

And I agree so hard with that one post that said that nope, Black Sails is not a queer show featuring pirates, it’s a pirate show featuring queer people. Anything else is setting people up for a huge disappointment, so just stop. 

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I’m going to go with the parts of the Star Wars fandom I hang around in - Kylux and Reylo. For fuck’s sake, stop pandering to the antis by going “omg you shouldn’t have said/written that, you’re giving the antis fodder!”. Newsflash, THEY HATE US ANYWAY. So stop wanting to be good, inoffensive little fans. Who cares if something ruffles the feathers of a crowd of haters. I really, really hat that attitude. 

22.Popular character you hate?

“Hate” is too strong a word, but I’m kind of glad that the Les Mis fandom has died down a bit (or maybe I just unfollowed a lot of people?) because I got really, really oversaturated by the constant presence of Grantaire. Don’t hate him, but I’m quite happy to not have to see him everywhere any more. 

[tinymixtapes]

Music Review: Roc Marciano - Rosebudd’s Revenge

Roc Marciano Rosebudd’s Revenge [Marci Enterprises/Fat Beats; 2017] Rating: 4.5/5 It shouldn’t have come to this. When Roc Marciano dropped his official solo debut, Marcberg, in 2010 — first as an EP, then a few months later as a full LP — the work shouldn’t have been so widely, disgustingly unappreciated that I, at the age of 25, felt compelled to take up music blogging/journalism/criticism/whatever-you-call-this. This review of Rosebudd’s Revenge shouldn’t have to be a EUREKA! for you to get the message. And here we are. “It is what it is, fuck what it could’ve been” First off, it’s not punchline rap when the setup is just as quotable, so don’t even bother looking for filler here. Qualitatively and narratively, the refrain of Rosebudd’s Revenge is murder. That said, one could attempt to review this album as the poet-pimp’s psycho-social manifesto, exploring the conceptual metaphor of capitalism (and, by extension, any gainful livelihood) as pandering and all that badness. One could, but I will refer you to the quotes immediately above and below instead. Pimpstead. “Motherfucker this is art, you can’t just pick this apart” --- Sect works the counter at his man’s vintage shop, though approximately half the day is spent in the backroom, a beaded off design studio from which incense smoke and sampled loops stream. The chop Sect’s tooling with at this moment is so trance inducing that neither he nor his man, the shop’s proprietor currently hot-gluing rhinestones to an old denim, notice the front door jangle. It’s only the added vocal accompaniment of a sudden “Cuckaw” that alerts them; crow sounds being otherwise absent from this particular production. Sect’s grasp on patois doesn’t extend far beyond “wagwan,” so the following exchange can’t even really be called a conversation. Suffice it to say that the yardie patron is apparently agitated about something or other, and after he exits in a huff, Sect returns to the workroom feeling a bit uneasy. His distress is doubled upon seeing a handgun now resting beside the garment atop his man’s workbench. It was found in a park, in the bushes by the lake, and it’s for situations like this one should they escalate any further in the future, he reasons. Speaking of, self-titled or HNDRXX though? “Your body washed up somewhere in Glen Cove” ☠    ☠    ☠     The call came in at 1:56 AM. By that time, most of the squad had called it a night, the day’s shoot having kept them on their feet for the better part of 11 hours. There’d been whispers around the set about a Major look for the wrap party, something far above and beyond the usual hotel-room high jinks, but nobody gave it much serious consideration, talk being cheap and time the opposite. So when creative director Lock woke to the news that it was On, that the new sound guy was There with his crew, that he’d spread word about the collective, and that the whole team was invited by the Man himself to come through now, like Right Now, Lock did as he always did when things started to come together: he got out of his own way and let the movement take over. They regrouped in the lobby by 2:12, were out the door and on the road by a quarter past, and rolled up the Mansion gates at 2:30 flat. Security was tight, list was right, phones were taken, and doors were opened. So many doors. Looking back, Lock laughs at his luck. He’d “cousins” who’d likely kill to be him for a night, and “uncles” who’d literally kill him if they ever heard what he’d gotten their daughters into that night. Here’s hoping he can keep his mouth shut this time. “Get shot and left somewhere in Wichita” ☠    ☠    ☠     Bin was shook. The blog post had been too damn good for his own. For his own good, that is — not for his own blog, but maybe that too, come to think of it. Could it be that his research was so thorough it had actually served as a resource for DTs, DAs, and their assistants? Bin imagined a googly-eyed, handsomely-paid intern nodding along to the artist’s song posts while copy-pasting whole paragraphs from those same posts into a case file on that same artist. As someone whose baseline excuse from jury duty selection was “because I’m an anarchist,” Bin considered inadvertently aiding an ongoing investigation something like his worst nightmare. Now what? Time for some much-needed housekeeping of course, but what about afterward? Artists send edit requests in polite and appreciative DMs. Attorneys send subpoenas via certified mail with none such respect. A warm trickle down a clenched fist. It was then that Bin realized he’d been clutching the letter opener so tightly his hand had started to bleed. He wiped his hand on his jeans, tucked the metal into his trench, and stashed the unopened envelope in the Expedit beside the record in question. “They find your body parts in New Hyde Park” ☠    ☠    ☠     It wasn’t fair. One for all, he’d said. All in, he’d said. When I get on, he’d said. It ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you’re at. True indeed, but the only thing worse than forgetting where you came from is stopping your day ones from getting on once you’ve made it out. Real ones are supposed to have your back and hold you down, not hold you back and have you down. Everybody knows that. All good though, Crab thought. Next time he comes back around, we’ll see what’s up. That’s right. We’ll see. Crab sank the plunger. “Your body found rotting out in Baltimore” --- Every day, people die and sex sells. But it’s not every day (or month or year) that an album like Rosebudd’s Revenge comes along, one that packs a novel’s worth of imagery, mood, characterization, conflict and theme into practically every line; one that presents scenes so meticulously crafted they inspire us to pick up the narrative threads ourselves, to explore where they came from and try to figure out where they lead, which is always farther than the story tells. The sketches above aren’t in there anymore than our preconceptions are. Inspiration abounds though. http://j.mp/2owp9GN

[ah17hh]

Kanye West “Runaway” Copy Pasta via /r/emojipasta

Kanye West “Runaway” Copy Pasta

God🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 I love💙 this👆🏻so much🙌🏼. Every single 🕴🏻thing about this 👆🏻masterpiece 🖼 is so beautiful 😍 . The music 🎶 ... Every lyric 🎼... The artistry 🎨 in direction, the creativityin 👩🏼‍🎨 production 🎥 , the cinematography 🍿 , those fireworks 🎇 ... that gorgeous 🔮 bird 🦅 costume on probably the most stunningly ✨ beautiful 🌟 woman 👩🏻 I think I've ever seen 👀 ... The ballet 🩰 dancers 👯‍♀️ ... Wow 🤩! I've watched 👀 this👆🏻 prob a hundred 💯 times ⏰ but it will never 🙅🏻‍♀️ get boring 😑 . I can't 🙅🏻‍♀️ take my eyes 👁 👁 off the screen 📺 for one ☝🏻 second ⏰ of those 34 minutes 🕰 . I 🙍🏻‍♀️ love ❤️ all of Kanye's 👑 work, and it is purely 💦 impossible🙅🏻‍♀️ to pick a favourite ❤️ , but 🍑 if I could only 🙋🏻‍♀️ever listen to ✌🏼two ✌🏼songs 🎵 for the rest of my time 🕰 here on earth 🌍 - it would no 🙅🏻‍♀️ question ❓ be Ghost 👻 Town 🌃 and- Runaway 🏃 . I cannot❌ listen 👂 to runaway 🏃‍♀️ without feeling triumphant 🏆 for some reason, lol 😆. Makes me laugh 😂 , makes me cry 😢, makes me appreciate 🙏🏿 the beauty 💋 in every other human 🧒🏿 being at once ☝🏻 with feeling my own. 🦾 For one ☝🏻 song 🎼 to ignite 🧨 that many 😒😏🙃🙂emotions🙂🙃😏😒in me just feels incredible🤩🥳. And inspiring 😱, and enchanted 💫. Kanye 👑 West 🧭 , as an artist 👩🏼‍🎨 AND as a human 👨🏾being, in my 💁🏻‍♀️ very humble 😌opinion- has harnessed some 🤔 sort of power 🗣 to captivate 😳 people 🕺🏻🕺🏻 educate 🏫 and enlighten 🧠 them- whether it means entrancing them 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻 with his artistry 🎨 , speaking 🗣🗣 truths 💯 that people🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻 need to hear 👂 but don't always 😒 want to, and not 🙅🏻‍♀️ giving a fuck what anybody🤷🏻‍♀️ thinks 🙇🏻‍♀️ about... While still wishing 🌟 them 🙆🏻‍♀️ the best 👼 & respecting 👥 their freedom 🕊 to disagree (which is usually code for misunderstand ❌🧠/ or not comprehend❌👁 what he is trying to say 🗣. Even worst 😳 case scenarios where people 👨🏾 act especially argumentative 😡 or hateful 😈or just plain ignorant 🐍 towards him 👑 - at his bottom line I always hear him 👑 expressing his desire 😻for🧒🏿👩🏼‍🦱🧕👮🏿‍♀️ everybody 🧒🏿👩🏼‍🦱🧕👮🏿‍♀️to just be happy 😃 , and to feel free 🕊 . Everything I 🙋🏻‍♀️ hear 👂 him preach ⛪️ 🙏🏿 is about working 💪🏼for the greater good of humanity 👥 🌎 , it's about waking up 👁❌💤 it's about freedom 🕊 , it's about art 🖼 and expression 🗣 and feeling 💕 , and more importantly 🧐 actually BEING- okay 😃with oneself 🧒🏿. Understanding 🤨 that we 👥 are each 🙋🏻‍♀️ flawed 😔 but it is these flaws 😳 that make us 👥 unique 👏🏼, and it is our combined👏🏼 uniqueness👏🏼 and flaws👏🏼 that combined👏🏼, make one ☝🏻 absolutely perfect😻 whole. As a human 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻race, as the beautiful😻 individual ☝🏻expressions of light 💡 and energy 🔋 , spirit 👻 , God 🙏🏿, source 🌎, the universe 🌌 ... Whatever you 🤨would like to call 📲 it, but those are just words 🌝, and the point is it's all beautiful 💥🔥✨💕😻. And we're all beautiful😻💕✨🔥💥. And it is precisely the things that we 🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻 are conditioned ❌NOT ❌to value 💰 or love 💗 about ourselves🙋🏻‍♀️ that make us 👥so perfect 💕 as a united 🇺🇸 whole 🌍 We are ❌not ❌separate, and nobody ❌👥 should ever feel lonely 😩 because of this ☝🏻 . There's 8 billion 🌍 people in the world 🌎 but still so many 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻 of us feel alone 😢 ... But all at once ☝🏻 we 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻 should cherish 🙏🏿 the individualities 🙋🏻‍♀️we have each created 🖼 for ourselves, for this s what makes this roller coaster 🎢 ride in space 🌌 fun 🤠. lol. And interesting 🧐 . Of course it is difficult 😤 sometimes to try and remain enlightened 🤓 and calm 😙 in the face 👹 of ignorance 🐍 or hatred 👺, and in any instances where Kanye 👑 has clapped 👏🏼 back or gotten defensive 🥴, they either deserved 🤕 the reality check ✔️, they 👩🏼didn't see 👀 it coming bc their ignorance 🐍 trumped their intuition 👁👁- which is also likely the cause of the initial ☝🏻 issue in the form of a complete 🌍 misunderstanding 😟 due to the fact 💯 that Kanye 👑 is trying to express 🎨 something that they are not🙅🏻‍♀️ ready to hear 👂 or are just not 🙅🏻‍♀️ even close to being on the intellectual 🧠 , emotional 😭 , or spiritual 🙇🏻‍♀️ level that he is speaking 🗣 on- and therefore just not 🙅🏻‍♀️ getting it. These 👏🏼 things are amazing 😉 though, bc for one ☝🏻 , I love ❤️ it that Kanye 👑 is human 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻 in that regard, it just reinforces everything I 💁🏻‍♀️ said before about embracing 🤗 all those imperfections 🧏🏽‍♂️, and two- ✌🏼 because every single ☝🏻 time ⏰ - it reinforces the exact ✔️ point he's 👑 trying to make but just can't 🤷🏻‍♀️ put into words 🗣 in a way that some people will hear 👂 , or even try to listen 👂 to. Which goes back to my 💁🏻‍♀️original sentiment about Kanye 👑 as an artist 👩🏼‍🎨 . Not a politician 🇺🇸 , not an actor 🎥 , or any other profession 👨🏾‍⚕️ who get paid 💰 to lie and just see 👀 how many 👥👥 people they can get to buy 💴 it. Not 🙅🏻‍♀️ somebody who was groomed 😿 and trained 😾 to tell 🗣 people 👥only what they want to 👂 in a soothing 😎 way that they can handle, and obvi 🙅🏻‍♀️not somebody who was 🧠 🧼 brainwashed 🧼 🧠 to believe anything those soothing 😌 voices 🗣 and paid 💵 liars tell them to believe. Which I 💁🏻‍♀️think 🤨 is why people👥 just 🙅🏻‍♀️don't get him 👑 , or want to disagree 🐍 and attack 🥊 him, or both ✌🏼 . But because he 👑 IS a human 👨🏾‍⚕️ being, as other human beings 👥, we can't 🤷🏻‍♀️expect him to pander to the masses' 🌍 false beliefs or their 🐍ignorance. Hell 🔥 idk even know if it's right✔️ to call 📱 it "the masses" 🌍 honestly it might just be a handful of shitstarters 💩 😡 and dummies 🤦🏻‍♀️ that the media 📸 blows way out of proportion so that from my 💁🏻‍♀️simple pov- his 👑 existence looks 👀 like mad 😡 drama 🗣 when it's really maybe mostly not, lol 😆 . And I 💁🏻‍♀️ already know 🧠 the media 📸 makes the world 🌍 outside my peripherals 👁 look stupid 🤦🏻‍♀️ , violent 🔫 barbaric 🔪... And much, much worse 😔 than it really is 🧐. Because the facts 💯 are, all these nice 👍🏻 , intelligent 🤓 people 👥 aren't disgusting 🤢 or mean 🤬 or funny 🤡(in a bad 🥵 way) enough to make a cool 😎 story 📖 . When in my reality 💯 , I meet woke 👀 af Individuals🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻 wayyy more regular 👯‍♂️ than what any sort of media 📸 tells me my odds should 🤔 be for an encounter 👀 with someone 👑 like that, another human 🕺🏻 being that doesn't want to kill 🔪, rob 💰 and rape 👉🏻👌🏽 me 💁🏻‍♀️ or who's smarter 🤓 than a box 📦 of rocks 💎 is a rare breed 🐕 of person🕺🏻- according to the news anyway. 🙄 Anyway big ass tangent ⭕️ here- (feels appropriate🤓 tho, considering who's 👑 video 🏃 I'm commenting 👩🏻‍💻 on- not gonna lie- lol 😆 ) but anyway. Point being that because Kanye 👑 is so refreshingly 💦 human 👨🏾‍⚕️ like us 👥 aka REAL 💯 , and people 👥 cannot 🙅🏻‍♀️ expect perfection ✔️ in any sort of normal 😐 everyday life 🗺 or interactions 🤝 or behaviors 👹 from other, more or less equally 🥴imperfect🥴 people 👥. BUT- because Kanye 👑 is also the extraordinarily 🏆 talented 👌🏽 and phenomenally 😍 creative 🥳 ARTIST 👩🏼‍🎨 he 👑 is, he 👑 doesn't have to be perfect😇 in any other humanly 😎 possible way, anyway 💯. He 👑 is already perfect 👌🏽 in as many ‼️ ways one human 🕺🏻could be in THAT ☝🏻 department, And... Idk 😐 about y'all 👥, but as one ☝🏻 human 🕺🏻being to 8 billion others 🌍 - I'd much rather y'all 🌎 be as real 💯 and intelligent 🧠 and 🙅🏻‍♀️not giving a fuck 🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿about what others 🐑 think 🤔 , understand 🤓, agree 👍🏻 with,, or like about you... 😛 but also not 🙅🏻‍♀️shoving🙅🏻‍♀️ all the stuff you do 👌🏽👌🏽 give a fuck about down ⬇️ everybody's 🐑 throats and judging 😡 them, bullying 😫 them, ostracizing 🤭 them, or attacking 🥊 anyone who doesn't believe in every single ☝🏻 little 🤏🏿thing you 🤡 do. Respect ✊🏼 . Love 💕 . Joy 😊 . Inspiration 😯 . Passion 🍆 . Freedom 🕊 . Fun 😆. That's ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻what we 🕺🏻 💃🏻 are all here for 💯 . That ☝🏻 is what every 🕺🏻person 💃🏻 wants at the bottom ⬇️ of their hearts 💞 and souls ❤️ . We 👥pursue it all in different 👀ways and that is what we 👥 should appreciate 🙏🏿 most about being here 🌍 , with each other🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻❤️. Thank you 🙏🏿 Kanye 👑 West 🧭 , for being one ☝🏻 of the many✊🏼, many, teachers 👩‍🏫 of things like this to me 💁🏻‍♀️ personally. And thank 🙏🏿 you to all 🌍 the rest of you 8 billion 👥👥👥- you are all my 💁🏻‍♀️teachers 👨‍🏫 too. I just wish 🌟I knew you 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨all well enough to appreciate🙏🏿 you're being here, 🌏 in person 👀. Because even that value 🏆 and gratitude 🙏🏿 for those that you 💃🏻🕺🏻don't know 🧠, would be awesome 😎 to give ✊🏼and receive ☝🏻on that level 💯 . Even like this ridiculously long 📝 comment of appreciation 🙏🏿 for Kanye 👑 West 🧭, who doesn't know me 😔 and prob never will 😢 , is a type of gratitude 🙏🏿🙏🏿💯 I would like to extend to everyone 🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻 on the planet 🌎 for something, if I could😫😫. Because even the 😏appreciation🕺🏻 thrown towards a stranger 🚶‍♀️ in the slightest 🤏🏿, most superficial 💋and completely one-way road ⚠️ type of "knowing 🧠 👀 " someone- like that from a "normal" 🚶‍♀️ person, or in this case a fan 🤩 for somebody they 🌊 admire 💕 , in this ☝🏻 case a famous 🎉🎉🎉 artist 👩🏼‍🎨 , is a step towards 🔜 the kind of world 🌎 we 👥 would live 🏡 in if everybody 👥👥👥could truly 💯 appreciate 🙏🏿 everybody, just in some 🤔 way- any 😨way- or every 🤗 way- or even just 🥳for being here 🌍‼️‼️. But I guess 🤔 everybody 👥can only appreciate everybody 🌍 , if on some level we 🕺🏻🚶‍♀️💃🏻already do. And I think 🤔 that's the level Kanye's 👑 on when he 👑 made this 🎥 🎼 🏃‍♀️ 💿 . Love ❤️ you 🤝 all 🌍🌍🌍 You too, Ye 👑. Thanks 🙏🏿 for giving me 💁🏻‍♀️ this comment 📝 box 📦 to drop 📥some love ❤️ on the world 🌍 . lol 😆 . And to anybody 🤔 🕺🏻💃🏻 who's still reading 📖 this ☝🏻 , may God 🙏🏿 and yeezus 👑 bless ❇️ your beautiful soul ❤️, and I love 💕 YOU 💃🏻🕺🏻most of all! 💯 I believe 🤗 the title of this film 🎞 is where you 👥 can find the meaning 🧐 . Runaway. 🏃 If you 👥 have ever listened 👂 to Kanye 👑 he always talks 🗣about how we 🌍 are slaves 😔 to society 💭 . He 👑 is showing 👀 us within a film 🎞 that the way people 👥 perceive 👁 us and our 👥 own egos 😼 trap 🕳 us into a mold 🗜 that we 🕺🏻💃🏻 doesn't necessarily 🙅🏻‍♀️ represent who we 🌍 are. The bird 🦅 is Kanye 👑 and his 👑 own inner beauty 💄. Kanye's 👑 entire motivation 💪🏼 to create 🎨 and be heard 👂 is the fact 💯 that he 👑 feels shorted 😞 by what people 🐑 think 💭 he 👑 should be or what they 🐑 think 💭 he 👑 should do. He 👑 feels like 🙊 his 👑 true 💯 self, untainted by society, is a phoenix and if he 👑 let's society 🐑 🌍 control 🎮 him 👑 then it will turn ⏭ to stone 💎 . Kanye 👑 wants us 🕺🏻💃🏻 to see 👀 that the stereotypes 🧒🏿🧕👮🏿‍♀️ created by us 💃🏻🕺🏻 limit our own 👥expression, our true 💯 authentic beauty 💄. Now, you 🤡 may think 🤔 it is crazy 😜 to think 🤔 this much 🙊 about the symbolism 📖 but artists 👩🏼‍🎨 don't 🙅🏻‍♀️ make art 🖼 unless they 👩‍🎤 are compelled 😍🤩 by some larger 🌍 mission. Art 🖼 is expressing 💦 the soul ❤️ . Art 🖼 is sacred 🙌🏼. So yes✔️✔️✔️, on the surface 🌊 this is beautiful 😍 and enjoyable 🤪 but for him 👑 , it is so much more 💯. Man 👨🏾 i cry 😭 so much when the autotuned 🎤 part from runaway 🏃 starts ▶️, it's like so beautiful 😍 the mix 🔀 between the song 🎼 and the ballet 🩰 scene. I never🙅🏻‍♀️ realized 🧐 how dope 🤪 ballet 👯‍♀️ was until right I 💁🏻‍♀️ watched 👀 this ☝🏻. They 👯‍♀️ walk on their toes 🦶. Think 🤔 about how much 😣 their toes 🦶 hurt 🤕 . You 🙅🏻‍♀️wouldn't know 🧠 the serious 💯 toe 🦶 pain 😓 that they 👯‍♀️ are in though because they act 🤪 like their toes 🦶 don't hurt 😢 ,but in reality ☝🏻 they 🦶 hurt very 🤕badly 😭. I 💁🏻‍♀️ just tried 🚶‍♀️ standing on my 💁🏻‍♀️ toes 🦶 and I 💁🏻‍♀️ can't 🙅🏻‍♀️ explain 🤨 how much it sucked 😒. Appreciate 🙏🏿 these people 👯‍♀️ who are willing 🤪 to wear 🩰 weird 🦅 clothes and stand 🚶‍♀️ on their toes 🦶, because it is awkward 😫,embarrassing 😣, and painful 😖 . Go stand🚶‍♀️ on your toes 🩰 in a weird outfit 🧝🏽‍♀️. Bitch.🥵

Submitted March 28, 2020 at 05:49PM by unemotionals via reddit https://ift.tt/3aqxyk1