#maybe that local italian place my parents talk abt having their first date in
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not me having a shower daydream abt takin my friend on a shitty picnic at the park and then asking him to be my bestfriend
#daphnes talking again#yeah its Yearning hours#it goes like this:#step one: i message him all cool like 'hey u doin anyfin on wednesday? B)'#and HES like 'No why'#and IM like 'do u wanna go on a shitty picnic with me at the park'#and then HES like 'Whats a shitty picnic'#and then I-#you know what im gonna skip all the boring dialogue parts it goes on for entirely too long#so he picks me up at like 1pm on wednesday and we go get some takeout that we both like#maybe that local italian place my parents talk abt having their first date in#anyway we show up to the park. idealy there is like 8 people there and none of them are too close to us#so i fluff out my lil blanket and we sit down and have a lil lunchy lunch and IDEALLY there is BANTER#so THEN. i break out the /Big Guns/ (nt my arms im not talkin abt my arms if i showed him my wimpy arms hed leave and never talk 2 me again)#i VERY CASUALLY initiate some Friend Cuddles. maybe a lil bitta Hand Holding if im feeling brave#its all so i can show him what he stands to Gain with Me as his bestfriend. maybe i do a lil lean against his shoulder.#maybe i do a lil bitta hand on elbow action. who knows its all fair game long as i ask first#now ideally the frienddate would not last until the evening but i am imagining this part at sunset-#so we watch the sun set together quietly. and i sorta start to say something. and then stop. and then start again. and then stop.#i am nervous and i cant get the words out right even in my perfect fantasy world.#so eventually im like 'hey..' all quiet like. and hes like 'yeah?' all him like#and i dont look at him even though hes looking at me. bc looking at him will make me nervous. so im lookin into that orange orange sunset.#and im like 'i love you.' and he doesnt say anything. because hes SHOCKED. ive SHOCKED HIM#and then i scramble to explain bc AGAIN even in my perfect fantasy world i am so so nervous to not be Cool around him#and im like 'i uh. i should have. probably. explained bef-fore. i said that. i mean like. youve been my friend. for like. ever.#n sometimes it was probably really hard to be my friend- i mean. im flaky. im distant. i can be a bit mean at best and a cold BITCH at worst#i had a breakdown once while we were having lunch with friends. that couldnt have been fun. i just. what im TRYING to say is like#youre. a really good friend. and i dont think i deserve you sometimes. so i. want you to. know.#that i love you. like. platonically.'#and i. have no fuck CLUE. what hed say to that.
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