#maybe my gaydars off maybe he is gay

[kkv11]

[phagodyke]

actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then

[rubycruzin4abruzin]

we can’t be friends

Summary: Hazel, who has a giant crush on you, gets paired with you for a class project. She’s convinced you could never like her back because she thinks you’re straight, what happens when she’s proven wrong?

Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Fem!reader

Contains: mature language and content, hurt/comfort, smut, fingering (both receiving), oral, scissoring kinda, floor sex, loser!hazel, dom!hazel, fem!reader, sub!reader, 18+, MDNI

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: (loosely) based off the song We Can’t Be Friends by Ariana Grande, and requested by anonymous. Requests are still open for Hazel Callahan and Kit Tanthalos! Enjoy!

———

Hazel stared at you from across the classroom, a deep longing in her eyes. Mr. G was rambling something about 9/11 and how it somehow pertained to his divorce but she wasn’t absorbing a word of his lecture. All her attention was focused on you.

PJ noticed Hazel’s obvious sense of distraction and rolled her eyes. “It’s never gonna happen, Hazel.”

Hazel’s face fell slightly as she looked down at her lap. “You don’t know that…” she mumbled.

“I do, actually. My gaydar is perfect, and she…” PJ motioned her head towards you. “…is not.”

Hazel's head shot straight up to look at PJ. “Weren’t you the one who thought Brittany was gay?”

PJ scoffed. “Ok? So my gaydar had a malfunction. It’s fine now, and trust me. You do not occupy that pretty little head of hers.” She shot a pointed look at Hazel. “She doesn’t want you. She wants a boyfriend. With a penis.”

A sad puppy dog look covered Hazel’s face as she turned back to look at you. You certainly did have a pretty little head, with long silky hair falling over your shoulders, perfectly framing your face. Maybe it was because Hazel had little to no experience with makeup, but she always thought yours was flawless, with your eyeshadow consistently color coordinated with your outfits. Today it was hot pink to match your miniskirt and pink pumps, paired with fishnets and a black tank top with writing on it that Hazel couldn’t quite make out.

You took a break from taking notes to reach into your backpack and find your lipgloss, carefully reapplying a layer. A dopey smile formed on Hazel’s face as she watched the sparkly pink solution trace your lips, wondering how it would taste against her own. PJ rolled her eyes once again. “Get over it, Hazel.”

Before Hazel could even open her mouth to respond, the sound of Mr. G’s voice echoed across the room, turning everyone’s attention to the front. He was going on about some new partner project, Hazel could barely focus. She soon, however, perked up when he mentioned your name.

“You’re partnered with Hazel.” He finished.

Hazel’s heart leapt into her throat. She turned to look at you, and you met her gaze with a bright smile. She offered an awkward nod back, and quickly looked away.

Mr. G soon finished with the list of partners and the bell rang to signify the end of class. PJ walked out with Josie, who could be heard panicking over being partnered with Isabel. Hazel was packing up her stuff for her next class when she saw a figure out of the corner of her eye. She looked up to see you standing over her desk, a glossy grin spread across your face. “Hey Hazel.”

Hazel tried to swallow, but found her mouth was completely dry. She managed to squeak out a low “…hey.”

“Looks like we’re partners for this assignment. I wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to work on it after school? Today?” You brushed a lock of hair out of your face, making Hazel wish she could do it for you.

She licked her dry lips and nodded enthusiastically. “Sure.”

You pressed your phone into Hazel’s shaking hands and you both exchanged numbers before “bye’s” and “see you later’s.” Throughout the rest of the day, it was agreed over text that you would meet at your locker after school before heading to Hazel’s house to work on the project. You had originally suggested your place, but after Hazel mentioned her mom being out of town on business, you were all for meeting at her’s instead.

When the last bell rang, Hazel ran to the bathroom and spent fifteen minutes fussing over her hair, trying to get it to swoop just the right way. Unfortunately, PJ’s voice saying “she’s not gay, it’s never gonna happen” rang through her head. After deciding it just wasn’t worth it then, she gave up and dejectedly made her way over to your locker.

You were already there waiting for her, and seeing you lean against your locker in the empty hallway made Hazel’s heart flutter. You looked just as perfect as you had earlier today (except Hazel could’ve sworn you had pulled your black tank top just a little farther down). You noticed her approaching you, and flashed her a bright smile.

“Hey Hazel, ready to go?” You asked. Hazel nodded. “Sure.”

“Great! I’m excited to be paired with you. I’m sure after this project we’ll become great friends.” You lifted your hand to squeeze Hazel’s upper arm, but she couldn’t feel it over the pang in her chest. Your words swam around in her mind.

“Great friends…” she didn’t want to be your friend. She wanted to be more. She wanted to be the one to laugh with you, and hold you when you cried. She wanted to take you out on dates, and slow dance with you at prom. She wanted you to look up at her with your big doe eyes right before you kiss her, and wrap your arms around her shoulders to pull her closer while she savored the taste of your signature lip gloss. She wanted to touch you. God how she wanted to touch you…

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do any of that. Not if you were too busy making goo-goo eyes at some football player.

You wanted to be friends. Hazel wanted you… but more than anything she wanted you in her life. If being friends was the only way to do that, then so be it.

—————

The drive to Hazel’s house was pretty much silent, minus a few attempts at small talk from you. Hazel made a few attempts to respond, but mainly kept her focus on the grip of her steering wheel and the road ahead.

Hazel turned into her driveway, and walked you through her front door, up the stairs, and into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She motioned for you to sit next to her on the floor, and got out her pencils and the project rubric. After about five minutes of complete silence, Hazel’s head shot up. “Snacks!”

You looked up from the rubric in confusion. “What?”

“Snacks! I forgot to offer you snacks when we came in. Shit, I’m sorry! I’m a terrible host.” Hazel panicked. You had to stifle a giggle under your hand. Somehow, Hazel was being so adorable right now.

“It’s ok, Hazel. I’m not hungry. I promise.” Hazel rubbed the back of her neck as a faint shade of red crept up on her cheeks.

“Sorry. You just…” Hazel trailed off. You cocked your head in question. “I… what?”

“You just… sometimes you make me nervous…” Hazel mumbled, staring down at her lap.

Your lips parted slightly in shock at her confession. “I make you nervous?”

“Look… just forget I said anything.” Hazel picked the project rubric back up. “So, do you have any idea what this project is supposed to be on? I wasn’t really paying attention…”

You pulled the rubric out of Hazel’s hands and tossed it to the side, forcing her to look at you. “I’m not gonna forget what you said. Hazel, how do I make you nervous?”

A defeated sigh left Hazel’s lips as she realized you weren’t going to give this up. She squeezed her eyes shut, choking out your name before her next words. “I’m sorry but… we can’t be friends.”

It took a moment for you to process Hazel’s words, but as soon as you did, your face crumpled out of hurt. You were trying not to cry, but you couldn’t decide if it was from hurt or confusion. “What do you mean?”

“We can’t be friends.” Hazel repeated, refusing to make eye contact with you. “Whenever I’m around you, my hands get all sweaty and my mouth gets dry, and I can barely get any words out because… I don’t know. You do this thing to me. I can’t focus in class because all I can think about is how pretty you are and what flavor your lip gloss is and…”

Hazel’s incessant rambling was interrupted by the feeling of something wet and sticky against her cheek. She blinked, trying to process what just happened.

You kissed her. On the cheek.

A faint blush crept onto her face as she lifted her hand to feel where your kiss still lingered. She finally met your gaze to see you staring back at her, a giddy smile covering your face.

“You kissed me.”

You brushed another lock out of your face and smiled down at your lap. “Yeah. I did.”

“But I’m not a boy.”

You shot your head up and gaped at her, bewildered. Did you hear her correctly?

“Huh? I know…” you trailed off as realization set into you. “You think I’m straight?”

“Well, yeah. You’re all like… feminine and stuff…” Hazel mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

A thick silence filled the room as you stared at her, wide eyed. Hazel held her breath and refused to look at you. She thought for sure she fucked up before she heard… laughter?

Hazel looked up to see you in absolute stitches from laughing so hard. On one hand, she was glad you didn’t seem mad at her, but on the other… she really had no idea what you were laughing at.

After a moment, you calmed down, and stuck out one of your wrists to show Hazel a pink, white, and orange threaded bracelet. “Trust me, I’m not straight. And this…” you gestured to your outfit. “…is called hyperfem, and it’s actually meant to deter the male population.”

Several thoughts swirled around Hazel’s mind. Some “fuck PJ” or “how did I not notice the bracelet?” But mostly, all she could think about was how you were sitting in front of her, out and proud, in an empty house, and beaming from ear to ear.

You giggled at Hazel’s astonished expression and looked down at your lap. “I was kind of wondering why you had never talked to me before. Guess I know now.”

Hazel gulped. “I’m sorry, I…”

Suddenly, you decided to cut her off by tossing all the papers between you to the side, and crawling over to her lap. You put one hand on her knee and brought your face as close to hers as you could without touching. Hazel’s breath hitched at this new position, and you hummed as your eyes dropped to her lips. “Now that you know I’m gay… what do you plan to do about it?”

It took a moment for your words to settle into Hazel’s mind, but as soon as they did, she brought her face forward and kissed you, melting instantly at your touch. Her stomach filled with butterflies as she shivered from the pure adrenaline. She couldn’t believe how soft your lips were, and the taste of your lipgloss felt absolutely intoxicating.

You pulled away suddenly, smirking as Hazel whined at the loss of your touch. “So… what flavor is my lip gloss?”

Hazel hummed in thought, running the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip. “Watermelon?”

“Bingo.”

A devilish grin spread across Hazel’s face before she grabbed your jaw and pulled you back in, forcing you to tuck your knee into her lap to keep balance. Her tongue danced against your bottom lip, begging for entrance. A small giggle escaped from the back of your throat as you parted your lips and let her deepen the kiss.

Hazel’s hand left your jaw and slowly made its way down to gently caress the thigh you still had perched in her lap. You felt your body shiver at this new sensation, causing Hazel to pull away and survey your reaction.

“Is this ok?” She asked in a low voice. You nodded, your half-lidded eyes clouded with lust. “Please.”

Hazel caught your lips in hers again, and gripped at your fishnet-clad thigh. You moaned at the feeling of her fingertips caressing your nearly-bare skin. You had no idea your thighs could be so sensitive, but here you were, falling apart at her literal fingertips.

By now you were mentally begging Hazel to push her hand up just a little higher, so you grabbed the chain around her neck and pulled her close until you were on your back and she was hovering over you. Her big blue eyes looked like pools you were dying to swim in as she peered down at you with a look of nothing but content.

You dragged your top teeth against your bottom lip and giggled. “Tell me again how pretty I am?”

Hazel smirked as she continued to rub her thumb along the inside of your thigh. “So pretty. Like a princess.”

Your body involuntarily shivered at this new nickname, and Hazel found it impossible not to notice. “Oh, you like that? Princess?”

A muffled moan vibrated against your puffy pink lips in response. Fuck, when did Hazel get so… dominant?

She ran her hand just under the edge of your tank top, looking up at you for approval. You nodded, and she got to work pulling it up and over your head, leaving your stomach exposed and your chest covered with nothing but a black lace bralette. Hazel gulped at the sight of you, her spontaneous dominance momentarily leaving her. She swore she had never seen anything this beautiful. She leaned down again to kiss you once, softly and sweetly, before slowly leaving a trail of kisses to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and down to the top of your breasts.

Hazel’s big blue eyes stared up at you as she ran her tongue across the top of one of your tits, gently testing the waters. You let out a gentle moan, purely from the eroticism of it all. You swore you could cum just from looking into Hazel’s fuck me eyes.

“Hazel,” you breathed out, sitting up slightly to lean on your elbows. “You can take it off.”

A nervous look clouded Hazel’s features for a brief moment before being replaced by one dark with desire. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

God, you could feel yourself get wetter every time she used that stupid nickname.

Getting your bra off wasn’t necessarily a fast and flawless task for Hazel, as she was used to the simplicity of sports bras rather than the confusing clasps of a bralette. Luckily, you both had a good sense of humor about it, which made the situation far less awkward. Eventually, Hazel opted to just pull it over your head like a t-shirt, tossing it over her shoulder immediately after.

Hazel never thought she’d see the day where she’d have the Popular Princess of Rockbridge High’s tits practically served to her on a silver platter, but here they were, exposed in all their glory, and hers for the taking. She took one of your nipples in her mouth, running her tongue along the erect bud as she used her hand to gently massage the other. It felt incredible, but as much as you loved watching Hazel Callahan play with your tits, there was another part of you that was much more desperate to be played with.

Your hips involuntarily bucked against Hazel’s stomach, forcing her to pull away and click her tongue disapprovingly. “So impatient. Never took you for a sub.”

“Never took you for a dom.” You fired back, surprisingly quickly considering how mushy your brain felt.

Hazel simply shrugged and flashed a wicked grin. “Guess you do something to me.”

She slipped one hand down to the waistband of your skirt and started to undo your belt buckle until it was loose enough for her to slide it down your legs. Her fingers danced along your now completely exposed fishnets while she plucked at the delicate little strings.

“Funny,” she started, gently pulling at the thin threads. “If you weren’t wearing anything under these, I would totally keep them on while I fucked you.”

Her blunt choice of words sent palpitations straight to your clit, forcing a shiver down the length of your entire body. She either didn’t notice or pretended not to because she just shrugged. “Too bad you are. Gotta take them off.”

In a way, you were grateful for the black panties you had worn under your fishnets. Watching Hazel undress you to any capacity was a bigger turn on than anything any porn site had to offer. You made a mental note to wear more clothes next time.

By now you were down to nothing but the aforementioned silky black panties. Hazel moved her hand back to your thigh, rubbing her thumb along the inside teasingly. She reached up and allowed her finger to gently brush over the tiny crease where your leg ended and your panties began, looking up at you for affirmation before continuing.

You sighed, rolling your bottom lip between your front teeth. “Please Hazel. Please touch me.”

Hazel’s stomach couldn’t help but flutter every time one of your desperate pleas hit her ears, but she tried not to let it show. Still, it was difficult to ignore the dampness in her boxers, thankfully still hidden by her shorts. On the other hand, your panties were on full display, the black color managing to hide your wet spot from Hazel’s vision, but failing to keep your secret when she dragged her finger up your clothed cunt.

“Holy shit.” Hazel muttered under her breath. “So fucking wet already?”

You were far too turned on to even begin to respond to her taunts, opting instead to raise your hips and signify Hazel to take off your panties. Hazel, however, had other plans. She continued to stroke the length of your covered cunt, enjoying watching your hips stutter every time she so much as grazed your clit.

As much as you loved the cloth friction rubbing against your slit, the growing pool of wetness that resulted was beginning to make you feel suffocated. You lifted your hips to chase her touch, moaning with desperation. Hazel smirked, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“Patience, pretty girl. I can’t do anything until you tell me what you want.”

Hazel’s finger picked at the waistband of your panties, while her darkened eyes stared down at you. You struggled to speak, your brain far too mushy to form a complete sentence. How in the hell were you this fucked out, and Hazel had barely touched you?

“P-please Haze… I need you mph… take them off…”

Another wicked grin appeared on Hazel's face as she leaned down again to praise your obedience. “Such a good girl.”

Her mouth latched onto your jaw as her fingers curled over the top of your waistband. You raised your hips, and Hazel pulled off your panties in one quick motion.

Now that you were completely exposed, you felt completely exposed, which wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable feeling. Your legs began to shut involuntarily, catching the attention of the girl hovered above you.

Her eyes went wide as she crawled off of you and put her hands up. “Hey, woah, are you ok? Do you wanna stop? I’m sorry! I should have checked in more. We can stop if you want. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Hazel’s sudden transition out of her dominant alter ego caught you off guard. Still though, you couldn’t help but melt a little. She was being so sweet, making sure you were ok, you almost felt a little bad for her. You didn’t mean to freak her out.

You sheepishly smiled up at her, a little embarrassed. “I’m fine. Really. It’s just a little weird being the only one naked is all.”

Hazel blinked at you, processing your words. Almost like a lightbulb went off in her head, she jumped up and practically tore all the clothing off her body, throwing each piece over her shoulder as soon as it was off. You couldn’t help but notice a string of arousal momentarily connecting her slick to her boxers, breaking only after she slid them down her legs.

Hazel’s body read like a painting, with each brush stroke precisely positioned to perfect the masterpiece. Her wetness glistened from in between her legs, and you couldn’t help but admire the beauty standing before you. However, you didn’t get to admire for long, as Hazel was already repositioning herself over you.

“Better?” She asked.

You sighed. “Definitely.”

Hazel immediately got to work trailing kisses down your body while thumbing through the folds of your slit. Soft moans echoed from your lips every time she’d slightly dip into your entrance for some more lubricant, and then frustrated groans would roll out whenever she immediately pulled out. God, she had access to every part of you and still managed to be such a tease.

Eventually, Hazel kissed her way down to your pelvic bone, hovering her face just over where you wanted her the most. Her hot breath tickled your dripping wet folds, making you tremble with anticipation. She stuck out her tongue and gently kitten-licked your clit to gauge your reaction, staring up at you as she did. A soft whimper left your throat, causing a smug smirk to form on Hazel’s face. Starting to gain some confidence back, she locked eyes with you and slowly licked up the entire length of your cunt, from your entrance all the way to the hood of your clit. You whined, throwing your head back against the carpet.

“Feel good?” Hazel asked, not bothering to wait for your response as she already knew the answer.

Hazel dived into you like a starved woman, lapping up your slick like it contained the very thing she needed to survive. Broken moans fell from your parted lips as you desperately grasped at her hair, trying to keep her exactly where you wanted her. Your hips bucked against her face, a part of you dying to see her features covered in your juices.

Her name found its way out of your mouth, almost involuntarily. “Hazel I… mph… fuck…”

“Fuck yeah. I love it when you say my name, pretty girl.” Hazel exclaimed, eyes rolling in the back of her head. You groaned. Dominant Hazel could have very easily put you into cardiac arrest, you were pretty sure.

The feeling of Hazel’s tongue against your engorged clit was hypnotizing, but your entrance was also twitching for attention. You wanted, no, you needed her inside you.

You grabbed Hazel’s hair and pulled it to lift her off you. She started to whine at the loss of your taste, but quickly looked up at you to make sure you were alright. “Everything ok, princess?”

“Hazel, I… I wanna ride your fingers. Please.” You panted breathlessly.

Hazel’s body shifted at your bold choice of words before a dark desire clouded her face again. “Of course.”

She reached up and crashed her lips against yours again, the taste of your own pussy still lingering on her tongue and coating your mouth in the most arousing way. You both readjusted to where she was on her back and you were now hovering over top of her. She adjusted her right hand in the “come here” position with her middle and ring fingers standing, and rested it in the middle of her thigh.

“All yours, honey.” She looked up at you with a goofy smile and half lidded eyes.

You positioned your entrance over her fingertips, shifting slightly before sliding down onto her knuckles. Hazel's fingers curled to hit your g-spot, forcing your head to fall back with a throaty groan.

“Feel good, gorgeous?” Another one of Hazel’s praises fell from her lips.

“Fuck Hazel, those nicknames are gonna kill me…” you whined.

Hazel smirked. “Oh yeah, you like that? Gorgeous? Pretty girl? My princess?”

As you were drinking in Hazel’s sweet nothings and riding her long fingers, your eyes fell down to her lap. Her exposed cunt glistened with her own arousal, dripping down her thighs and onto your carpet. A wicked idea popped into your head, and you couldn’t help but smirk.

Your hand traveled down to the folds of Hazel's slick, forcing the brunette beauty underneath you to jump at the sudden touch. “Honey, what are you…”

“Is this ok?” You asked softly. Hazel nodded quickly, realizing what you were getting at. You hastily licked your fingers and slid them into her twitching cunt.

Hazel moaned at the feeling of your fingers inside her. “Fuck, baby. Feels so good. So good to me.”

The longer you bounced on Hazel’s hand, the more you felt that familiar tight feeling in your abdomen. “Hazel, I’m…”

“Yeah… mph… me too.” She managed to whisper under her breath.

Hazel positioned her thumb to rub against your clit, forcing your body to tremble in sputtered shocks. You curled your palm to stimulate her clit, and you could tell she was almost as close as you were.

“Hazel, can we… mph… cum together?” You asked, rolling your bottom lip between your teeth.

The brunette underneath you was already starting to fall apart. “Fuck baby… so close… let go… I’ll follow… yeah?”

You rolled your hips against her, using your free hand to position her wrist where you needed her to touch you. Your hips sputtered, your core tightened, your clit throbbed. “Hazel, I… mph fUCK!”

Your head rolled back as you let out a sound so primal, you weren’t even sure it was sexy. Hazel soon followed, her groans and whimpers reverberating around the room as her hips sputtered under you. You rode out your climaxes together, the erotic sounds of sex disappearing into the nearly empty house.

Hazel couldn’t believe it. Not only was her longtime crush gay, not only was she fucking you, but she had just given you a mind-blowing orgasm at the same time you gave her one. Fuck, the very thought almost made her cum a second time.

You rolled off of her, and snuggled into her chest while she wrapped her arm around you. “Wow…”

“That was… unexpected…” Hazel muttered breathlessly.

You giggled. “Yeah, no kidding.”

A comfortable silence filled the room, both of you just enjoying the presence of the other, the project from before long forgotten.

You looked up at her, planting a soft kiss on her jaw. “Still think we can’t be friends?”

“I think we’re a little more than friends now.” Hazel chuckled.

Your heart fluttered at her suggestion. “Yeah? You want to?”

“I mean, yeah, if you want to.”

You nodded, snuggling back into her chest, close to falling asleep after so much activity. Hazel continued to stare up at the ceiling, a goofy grin plastered across her features.

“PJ is gonna lose her mind after this.”

[slavicviking]

Dipping my toes in the ‘oblivious Eddie has no functioning gaydar which results in mild miscommunication’ genre of the Steddie experience, hope you enjoy!

Ao3 extended version

“My, my, are my eyes deceiving me? Steve Harrington himself has graced these sinful halls?”

Instead of a sneer Eddie’s been expecting, Steve’s face lights up with a smile. He lifts his hand to wave at him with much more enthusiasm than expected. Which is… weird since they have maybe talked once when the guy picked up Eddie’s new freshmen from Hellfire. Well, almost as weird as meeting a Harington in a gay bar itself. 

“Munson, hi!”

A little dumb-founded, Eddie waves back weakly, his eyes catching the sight of Robin Buckley at the bar behind them. Ah, so there’s the reason Harrington’s here.

“You’re here as an ally, I presume.”

“Uhm, yeah I guess so?” Steve pouts, confused, before smiling again. “You too, then?”

“Sure, let’s say that.”

“Hey, you should sit with us,” Harrington grins as if that’s actually a good idea. Before Eddie manages to think of an excuse, he’s being dragged towards Buckley by the sleeve. “Come on.”

“Munson,” Robin nods at him in greeting, something akin to a mischievous smirk on her face. Why, he doesn’t begin to understand. 

“You look good, by the way,” a deep voice whispers into his ear as they set off towards the tables and Eddie has to do everything for his soul not to leave his body. Steve… is being way friendlier than expected. But that’s what it is, he has to remind himself before it gets too dangerous, just guys being dudes.

The ‘us’ in question turns out to be more than just the bizarre Harrington-and-Buckley duo. There’s Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers and some tall guy with the best hair he’s seen, not counting Harrington of course, bless his hair-sprayed soul. They don’t seem all that surprised he’s here at all which - fair enough, but also that he’s here at this table and that he doesn’t know how to explain. Nancy Wheeler, though, ever the enigma keeps shooting him loaded glances. He’s pretty sure she sniffed out his embarrassing crush on, ugh, Steve Harrington and she’s- Jealous maybe? Probably? As if there is a universe where he, Eddie Munson, poses a threat to someone like Nancy fucking Wheeler. 

Steve sits himself closest to Eddie, maybe because he’s feeling guilty - as he should be - about throwing him into a table full of basically-strangers or maybe for a different, Harrington-unexplainable reason. The point is, he’s close, Eddie can smell his aftershave and cigarettes and it’s the best and worst thing that’s happened to him. 

He keeps talking, too, asking Eddie questions about DnD (and isn’t that a head-scratcher in itself) and what conditioner he’s using because he really likes his hair (as if Steve wasn’t the embodiment of every shampoo commercial ever made). The gin-and-tonic Eddie’s been sipping must’ve been stronger than he thought because he swears he hears Steve saying something like ‘I don’t know, I think you’re really pretty’ at one point. 

Eddie is starting to wonder if Harrington, perhaps, has been replaced with a pod person.

There’s a few more attempts at small talk from Steve but Eddie’s too confused and trying so hard to not be hopeful because a second edition of a pathetic crush on a straight dude (Steve, his mind supplies helpfully) is going to be too painful. Harrington seems kind of down afterwards, sliding off his chair and towards the bar which leaves Eddie with an infamous Buckley glare. Followed by an aggravating assault to his shin. 

“Ow, Jesus, what the fuck is your problem?”

“My problem?” Robin is quick to retort. “What’s your problem? I thought you had a crush on him! It’s frankly kind of fucking obvious.”

Okay, whoa, rude. 

“I don’t,” Eddie sneers back but falters when she levels him with a blank stare. “Fine, I do. Whatever. Way to kick a man when he’s down.”

“Dingus, he’s been all over you for the last hour. He’s been flirting like crazy and you, for some reason, keep shooting him down, what the hell?”

“But-” But he’s straight. Right? He turns to see Steve at the bar and - oh, there’s some guy with curly hair touching Steve’s arm and Steve’s smiling and blushing and- “What?”

That won’t do.

“Go get your man,” Robin says, practically shoving him off his stool to emphasize her point. Eddie scrambles from the floor, ignores the intense looks from the rest of the table and marches towards the bar.

“I’m coming, Stevie.”

[danisbrainrot]

tell your boyfriend

natalie scatorccio x reader

warnings: cheating (sorry not sorry, travis), reader being a shitty person, angst

ever since I found out this song was actually about a woman, I don't know why, but I immediately thought of nat. I can't explain it LMFAO.

it had been weeks since the plane crashed, and the team was condemned to suffering in the wilderness. it was lucky lottie had found the cabin in the first place, but as you swung the axe high in the air, before bringing it down with a resounding crack, you started to wonder if life would've been better if you died in the crash.

you were starving, delirious and weak. there was no sign of a rescue team—who knows how long you'd have to spend out here. watching natalie and travis walking back, hand in hand, you felt yourself growl quietly to yourself. it wasn't fair that travis, who'd never talked to nat before the crash was dating her, but you—who'd loved her for years—were forced to watch from arms length. the sight wasn't made any better when you noticed the absence of meat.

everyone was teasing the two of them, causing you to storm off into the forest. you couldn't help but find everything unfair. falling for a girl who liked a boy—knowing if you were a boy, she'd love you.

kicking over a pile of leaves, you took out your anger on the forest. you hadn't even noticed natalie, until you almost pegged a rock at her (you'd meant to get the log). "oh my god, I'm sorry nat," you exclaimed, running towards her to see if she was okay.

she snorts, moving closer to you. "feeling hangry?" she teased, taking a seat on the log you were aiming at previously. you sarcastically laugh in response, taking a seat next to her.

"joke all you want, if you spent less time fucking travis and more time looking for animals, I wouldn't be destroying the forest," you snap, feeling your stomach begin growling. nat's eyebrow raised teasingly, eyes pointed at your tummy. it's timing was uncanny.

"we're not fucking," natalie replied, making your heart race in excitement. "I mean, I'd like to. . . but he can't get it up."

knowing this was your chance, you took advantage of this information. "maybe he's gay?" you reply, trying to sound as earnest as you can. you nudge her side, "no straight man could resist you," you wink at her teasingly, receiving a soft shove to your shoulder.

"I've always trusted your gaydar. . . but I don't think this is it," she mumbles in response, leaning forward and placing her chin in her hands.

there was a beat of silence, as you desperately try to come up with a plausible explanation to break them up. "you could always ask coach, I'm sure he'd know all about gays," you joke.

nat turned her head slightly to face you, "you're right. maybe I should—" your heart sank, realising that she was seriously thinking about it.

"have you thought that maybe he's interested in someone else? and you're just a distraction," you blurted out, wishing you could take it back immediately.

nat scoffed, standing up, "yeah, thanks. that makes me feel fucking fantastic," she snapped, stomping away.

"nat! I'm sorry!" you called out, but she ignored you.

«—(♥)—»

later that night, you found yourself in the storage room, with your stomach growling. you knew that mari was hiding some berries in here and you were so hungry that you no longer cared about stealing.

the sound of creaking behind you made you jump in fright, whipping around to let out some excuse when you realised it was just natalie. "oh, I thought you were mari," you mumble, turning back to continue your quest.

"looking for her secret stash?" she asked, you tried to work out if her tone was curious or teasing. "it's behind the box there."

when she pointed in the direction, you side eyed her, wondering how he knew where it was. glad that she'd shown you, you decided not to ask. you pulled out a large white bucket and hungrily opened the lid, only to be disappointed at the contents. "she's letting them ferment?"

you turn to face natalie, who shrugs, "it's not that bad. it's pretty strong though, just made purely out of berries, makes you get drunk quicker," she explains; you snort at her, shaking your head.

"you'd have a lot of experience with being drunk," you snipe.

"hilarious, you know you're so funny, you should think about joining snl," she replied sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.

you sighed, putting your head in your hands. "I'm so hungry, nat. I can't keep living like this," you whisper, on the verge of tears.

natalie sits down next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. "it'll be okay, I promise. travis and I are heading to a new place tomorrow, we'll find deer there, I'm sure," she soothes. you lay your head on her shoulder, playing with her hand on your thigh.

"a new place to hunt? or a new place to fuck?" you snapped.

narrowing her eyes at you, she scoffed and got up, "you know, I liked that you weren't like the others, that you never slutshamed me. . . I guess you're just like the rest of them," she replied, leaving you alone.

you knew it was stupid to take your unrequited feelings out on her, especially because she didn't owe you romantic love. however, it killed you watching her fall in love with travis—and the hunger eating you away wasn't making you a nicer person either.

tentatively scooping some of the berry juice in your hand, sipping it, when you heard mari approaching. in a panic, you'd never put something away so quickly.

«—(♥)—»

natalie trudged through the forest with travis in defeat; the gun slung over her shoulder serving as a reminder of her duty as hunter—a duty she was failing. their eyes were still peeled for any deer, hopeful for any last minute catches. however, it seemed like all the animals in the forest knew about their plans.

groaning, nat put her head in her hands and sat on the log. "this is fucking stupid," she grumbles, ignoring travis as he took a seat next to her.

"maybe we should stay put here, just for a little while," he suggests, his thigh brushing against hers. nat rested her chin against her knees and offered him a weak smile.

neither of them noticed you, hiding in the bushes, having given up scavenging for berries. they'd been gone for three hours, leaving everyone else in the cabin to search for food—and for what? it seemed no one would be eating anything. . . meat or fruit. the disappointing view of just the two of them made your stomach growl, reminding you of how long you've gone without eating something substantial.

stepping on a twig accidentally, you winced as both their heads snap in your direction. "you're following us now? disappointed to see we aren't having sex?" natalie sniped, getting up and walking towards you.

showing off your basket, you know that she wouldn't believe you even if it's true. "just hunting for berries, figured they were further out than usual," you mumble, taking a step back the closer she got.

it wasn't until you were both face to face, your chest heaving and trying to look tough, that natalie smirked. "I get it, you're hungry, but you don't have to follow us," she teased.

you rolled your eyes, "travis, can you give us a moment?" you asked, your heart racing as you come to terms with what you're about to do.

travis scoffs, looking at nat for confirmation, who only gestured for him to return to the cabin. in shock, he sent her an odd look, before standing up, and walking away silently.

natalie turned to face you again, "what did you want to talk about?"

"i wanted to apologise. you're right, I shouldn't be slutshaming you because I'm hungry. . ." you pause, wondering whether or not you should continue. desperate to tell her about your feelings, you could feel your heartbeat raising impossibly fast. "it's actually so stupid—the real reason I was mad at you."

natalie raised her eyebrows teasingly, placing her hands on her waist and smirking at you. "let me guess, the real reason is that you like me?" you stare at her stunned, "please, you don't think I know? I'm not Jackie," she laughs. you feel a blush coming across your cheeks.

sliding her thumb through your jean loops, nat pulled you closer to her, until your chest was pressed against hers. "how'd you find out?" you whisper, looking up at her in awe.

"because I may or may not feel the same about you," she mumbles, her lips inches from yours.

"what about travis?" you ask; nat shrugs in response, finally pressing her lips against yours. initially, you freeze, not kissing her back, until she gripped your waist firmly, holding you in place, encouraging you to kiss her back passionately.

wrapping your hands around her neck, natalie pulls away for a second, "I should probably tell my boyfriend," she whispers. you raise your eyebrows in shock.

"tell him what? that I'm your girlfriend now?" you teased, eliciting laughter from the blonde. she nodded, before placing her fingers under your chin and pulling you in for another kiss.

[bigalockwood]

Wilmon and 'she was flirting with you. Doesn't she know your gay?'

Thank you lovely anon 💜💜

“She was flirting with you. Doesn’t she know you’re gay?” asked Wille, laughing at his best friend, Simon.

Simon shook his head and struck a ridiculous, but unfortunately sexy pose, making Wille’s insides tingle and his brain momentarily shut off as Simon’s shirt slid up and revealed a slither of skin, one Wille was familiar with from Simon bending down to pick something up, Simon standing on his tiptoes to reach the highest shelf, Simon stretching after a long day of lectures — Wille was familiar with it, but not familiar enough — only his eyes had touched it, but not his hands.

“Not everyone can have my unfailingly good gaydar,” Simon went on, and within a second, all the butterflies in Wille’s stomach died.

Maybe Simon’s gaydar was unfailingly good, but not when it came to Wille, because it had been years since Wille had fallen in love with Simon, and Simon still hadn’t caught on.

And sure, Wille could’ve told him, but he was afraid of all the follow up questions he knew Simon would ask — who had made Wille realize he was gay, did he have a crush?

Perhaps this was a bigger lie, but Wille thought one big lie might be better than a thousand small ones; so he laughed, and, when Simon slung his arm around Wille’s shoulders, tried not to melt into his side, a mantra of “He’s just your friend” echoing inside his mind.

Send me a sentence and I’ll write the next five! If you want to check out my other six sentence stories..

“This doesn’t smell right”

“We won’t make it out of here if we don’t work together”

“I saw this and it made me think of you “

“There’s no way this could go wrong”

“Are you afraid?”

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Simon took off his helmet”

[otdiaftg]

The King's Men - Chapter Sixteen (18)

Day: Friday, April 12th / 13th* Time: 11:45 PM EST

The club is too loud for Neil to hear Andrew's approach, but suddenly Andrew is pressed into his side by the crowd. Roland looks from Andrew to Neil and back again, brow furrowed a bit in badly-concealed concern. Neil realizes then he is looking for a sign they are all right after what he'd let slip back in January. Nicky knows when he is being ignored, and he has no problem interpreting Roland's searching stare. He interrupts his own story to demand, "Don't you dare tell me you knew about them before I did! Oh my god," he says at Roland's startled, guilty look. "Oh my god, you did. How the hell? We just figured it out a couple weeks ago. How long have you known Andrew was gay?" "Are they a 'them' now?" Roland asks instead of answering. His smile is back, wide and pleased, and he stops filling their tray to pour them shots. Ever the optimist, he sets one out for Neil, too. Nicky passes the glasses out and Neil accepts his after a slight hesitation. Roland plucks his own shot up and tips it in a toast. "I'll drink to that. It's about damned time." "It's not something to be proud of," Aaron says. "Hater," Nicky says, and half-turns to make sure Neil isn't pawning his drink off on Andrew. They knock their drinks back as one and Roland collects empty glasses. Nicky points at Roland as he goes back to mixing drinks. "I noticed you avoided my questions, by the way. You're not sneaky. And what do you mean 'about damned time'?" "You can pry that story out of Andrew," Roland says. "Getting answers out of these two is like trying to get a stone to bleed," Nicky says. "It's impossible and I'm about to get my fingers broken for trying. How'd you know? Is your gaydar more advanced than mine is or—" Nicky's jaw drops as he clues in. "Wait. No way. No way! Did you two —?" "Don't," Aaron cuts in. "Just don't. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to think about it. I want to drink and pretend I don't know any of you." "I thought we were friends," Nicky says to Roland. "How could you keep this from me?" "I'm a bartender," Roland says. "I don't spill drinks or other people's secrets. With that one ill-timed exception," he corrects himself with a small grimace at an impassive Andrew. "Sorry about that, by the way. Didn't mean to jump the gun." "Roland, we are fighting effective immediately," Nicky says with a huff. "Maybe you can win my friendship back with enough drinks tonight. Come on, Aaron, let's see if a table opened up."

Art used with permission by Aymmidumps. Thank you @aymmidumps!

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

[cactusisconfused]

Cw- suggestive themes, no smut. Soap has shit gaydar.

-

John ‘Soap’ Mactivish is a proud and out bisexual man and has been aware of that since he was mid-teens.

He’s always been proud of his identity, never was one to shrink down from giving some homophobe a black eye- no matter how many suspensions he got.

He’s had a good few partners, men and women, enough to the point that he thinks he has a good understanding of how this all works.

The only problem is that he had the worse gaydar known to man.

One would think that given how long he’s been in the community he would get better at it, but nope.

So imagine his surprise when the hulking 6’4 lieutenant of his- whom he had presumed to be straight- shows up to a gay bar when the 141 found themselves with down time.

-

Soap had snuck off, whether to get a one night stand in or just a few drinks to wash away the ugly thoughts of their last mission, he isn’t sure and quite frankly, doesn’t care.

He’s maybe 3 glasses of scotch in, maybe four, when a tall ass man built like a fridge sits next to him at the bar. A black face mask sits on the bridge of the man’s Roman nose all the way to his chin. From what soap can see, the man has scars all over his face, some bigger, some smaller- but really what gets him is those brown eyes, framed just perfectly by blonde- almost white eyelashes.

Naturally, Soap spurs up a conversation, hoping the man may have a bed that might need a bit of extra warmth tonight.

The man looks at Soap for a long moment, with an almost calculating look. The man looks long enough to the point where Soap shifts slightly in his seat, worried that he over stepped and the man simply just wanted to drink and nothing more. Yet, to Soap’s mild surprise, the man nods, effectively standing up from his bar stool and laying a 20 out on the table for the bare tender.

The man is quick to start moving for the door, only to pause to look back at Soap.

“You coming here or at my place?” The man says in a deep gravely tone, enough that Soap feels like he can drown in. Soap quickly felt himself blush.

“Fuck off.” Is Soap’s clever retort as he quickly slides off the bar stool and makes his way to the man.

“That’s what I plan on doing.” The man responds simply and fuck, Soap could die here and forever be a happy man.

-

Soap felt like he could barely move the next morning, stretching like a cat on the soft sheets below him, taking count of all the joints that pop.

When he left arm doesn’t pop, he tries again, trying to coax it to pop. What he doesn’t except, as he moves his elbow, is to touch skin.

Quickly, fast enough to make himself dizzy, Soap looks at the man in the bed. His scarred, pale body is bare, the blankets just barely covering below his naval. His deep brown eyes are half lidded, looking up at the Scot.

“Morning to you too, Soap.” That gravelly voice hits Soaps ears like a siren’s melody and-

Wait-

“I never told you my name.” Soap say scrambling off the bed, his mind already set in mission mode. How does this man know who he is? Is he an enemy spy?

Soap’s mind runs through a thousand and one loops trying to figure what to do, when all that is broken by a quiet but hearty laugh from the man in the bed.

“You did, ‘bout seven months ago.”

Soap’s mind races. Seven months ago? That was during the botched mission in Las Almos and-…why is there a skull mask on that desk?

Soap blinks, now focusing on his surroundings. The man’s closet is slightly open, peaking out is almost entirely black apparel, including one navy blue jacket and a jacket with the words ‘Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley’ written on the back.

Slowly, he looks back at the man- at Ghost- who of which wears a smug smile on his bare face.

Maybe all that flirting over the past few months wasn’t just joke between guys….

“C’mon, I’m gonna make some bacon and eggs.” Ghost states as he pushes the covers off, only boxers on, and walks out the room.

Soap, finally blinking out of his stupor rushes afterwards, really hoping this won’t be a one time thing.

-

On this went longer than intended.

Also sorry that this didn’t get too spicy, I don’t write that kinda stuffs :/

[lukweer]

ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

[orange-peony]

I've been making progress with my Snowbaz speed dating fic, and I've just finished chapter 1 (out of I think possibly 2).

Here's a snippet (Baz's POV):

I don’t know what to think.

Is this some kind of elaborate prank?

Snow ordered the spiciest thing on the menu, a beer and then sat back on his chair, staring at me as if I were some kind of weird specimen in a museum. Maybe I misunderstood everything, and this is not actually a date. Maybe he thinks I’m a real pyromaniac and is in desperate need of burning something to the ground.

“So, you’re gay?” he asks, out of the blue. The waiter appears, as if called by some kind of powerful gaydar. He deposits the plates in front of us and smiles expectantly at me. Is he waiting for an answer?

“Yes, I am very gay,” I reply, staring at Snow and watching his eyes narrow. The waiter beams at me, and Snow glares at him.

“Oi, he’s on a date with me,” Snow says, looking grumpy as fuck as he frowns at the waiter, who actually manages to pout for a second before he apologises and walks off.

We’re on a date.

Snow just sort of duelled with another man for my hand.

It’s a date. My heart does something mad in my chest, an odd little backflip, followed by a somersault as I smile at my chicken korma and pilau rice. I can’t believe my luck as I try to bite back a grin while I busy myself with my dinner and steal a glance at him.

Tagging (no pressure and sorry if you've already done it, and I've somehow missed it): @avenueofesc, @pato-roldnart, @bubble-gumhead, @artsyunderstudy, @fatalfangirl, @alexalexinii, @hushed-chorus, @j-nipper-95, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @larkral, @letraspal, @littlewinnow, @rimeswithpurple, @cutestkilla, @martsonmars. @facewithoutheart, @thewholelemon, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @blackberrysummerblog and @tea-brigade.

[writingmia]

Okay I just had an idea and I *had* to share it. I don't even ship Valgrace but this was too good not to think about. A Leo Valdez/Jason Grace 'Red, White & Royal Blue' AU.

Note: English isn't my first language, so please keep that in mind

Leo Valdez, who is half-Mexican, the son of the first American Latina female President, the one and only goddess amongst women, Esperanza Valdez. Leo, who always wanted to fix things and decided to follow his mother's footsteps in politics as a way to solve the issues he sees in his country. Leo, whom the public loves because of his sense of humour, quick wit and charm, who becomes America's sweetheart almost immediately when the elections first started.

And then you have Jason Grace, who has been born into the Royal Family and has had those duties and expectations on his shoulders from such a young age. Jason, who knows he will become a leader at some point, because his older sister, Thalia, is a rebel who refuses to conform to his family's expectations and ran away and abdicated the second she could. Jason, who is loved by his people, who is the white boy of the month every other month.

Zeus is the king, because of course he is. His Majesty, who doesn't really approve of the USA's election of Esperanza, because he sees her as lesser.

Leo and Jason who start off at the wrong foot because of something Jason unintentionally said, something that was his father's opinion and, of course, it was offensive to Leo, who immediately figured that Jason was a racist, privileged white guy who couldn't see past the tip of his nose.

Jason who's the one wearing glasses when he's at Kingston Palace and Leo who's caught off-guard by how casual he looks with them, how relaxed, not like the heir to an entire empire with a history of blood and slavery.

Leo, whose best friend is Piper McLean, the daughter of Tristan McLean, whose gaydar is immaculate and she's the one to open Leo's eyes that maybe Jason is gay, but isn't allowed to show it.

Jason, whose best friends are Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo, who also happen to be his cousins on his dad's side (yes, it's pathetic that his best friends are his cousins but he didn't really get many chances to be social growing up, okay?!), who are both incredibly chaotic in their own ways. Percy, who immediately gets along with Leo and the two exchange sassy comments and send each other memes constantly. Nico, who knew Leo was bi before Leo himself knew, and fed into Jason's delusions until he had the balls to kiss Leo on his famed New Year's Party.

Thalia, who would be in the picture occasionally, but is mostly busy touring the US with her rock/metal band called 'The Hunters', whose first album was inspired by Greek Mythology and specifically the myths surrounding Artemis, which is so what they titled their debut album.

Annabeth, who is Piper and Leo's genius best friend and the only keeper of the singular braincell in their trio, who has been wanting to become the youngest woman to ever hold a Senate seat ever. Percy, who is completely enamoured by her the second he sees her and the two start their own romance on the side.

I'm obsessed with this idea, I think it has so much potential.

I wrote that very quickly and I've barely proof-read it, but I just felt like the idea had to get out of my head because it deserves to be shared with the fandom. If someone wants to continue developing this, I would love to read more. If someone has alr written something like this and I'm not the first genius to think of it, please let me know!

- mia

[misswitch19]

I say this with all the love and respect in my heart to the people who think Sam is gay or bisexual, but......that man feels devastatingly straight to me. I am going blind from the pure waves of heterosexual freak coming off that man. I get that he hates his dad and eats vegetarian food, but like......that is not enough for me. Idk, maybe my gaydar is being thrown off by the industrial-strength closet case of bisexual repression radiating off Dean at all times or the gayness that Cas is projecting so hard that God decided to kill him, but the only label I would ever think to give Sam is meterosexual

[bi-lavelent]

Lone Wolf (Quinn Fabray x Fem-Reader Part 3)

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Cussing, Bullying

I was at work at the local car shop. Which was nice know that I knew the owners son was that gay kid in glee. I didn’t want to out him. He deserved to go on his own journey just as much as I did. We both noticed each other we both had a somewhat okay gaydar. But when we both dress like and act and sit and talk like the extremes of both. He could easily tell that I was a lesbian and I could easily tell that he was gay. But since neither of us had come out at yet in different ways. Everyone at school could tell he was gay even if he hadn’t come out and said it and the same for me only my parents knew and the school didn’t know at all. His dad didn’t know that he was gay.

Me and Kurt had bonded really fast and really easily maybe it was the fact that neither of us felt judgement with each other unlike everyone else at the school and everyone else is stupid fucking Lima Ohio.

We were doing some horrible dance moves. Mr.Schue clearly didn’t know what he was doing. Rachel obnoxious as ever but was actually right in this scenario spoke up about how bad they were.

Quinn called Mr.Schue out about how he didn’t try after high school. I got a tight feeling in my stomach when she was talking to him. I hadn’t gotten to know her well but we have talked a couple times and by talked I mean I have said hi when she would drop my sister off after cheer practice. I mean she was the head cheerleader for a reason she was incredibly hot. Finn was so lucky to have her and yet he was still pinning over Rachel.

Mr.Schue didn’t show up to glee after what Rachel said.

Six weeks later:

Mr.Schue still hadn’t showed up to glee and when he was there we still didn’t learn anything. So Rachel decided that she would bake him cookies and beg him to come back to glee. She came in cookies still in hand and no Mr.Schue she was explaining what he said; but all you could think about was those cookies.

“Hay, Human contraceptive if no one’s gonna eat those cookies. I’m gonna need them to inspect them to make sure that you didn’t try to poison our teacher.” I said

You saw Santana crack a smile at the nickname that you had given her for beery. Although the cheerios were still trying to keep their heads down and didn’t talk much. You could hear there smile on her face.

Finn was the only one who actually made sense in that meeting. We were the only two who didn’t want to hire this Wyoming Stanley guy that they were wanting to hire for training.

the next day as I was walking through the halls Mercedes looked sad so I stopped. To talk to her and make sure she was okay. Me and her weren’t that close but she looked like Bambi when his mom was shot. When she started talking to me.

“Hi y/n” Mercedes said

I glanced to see where she was looking Santana and Puck looked like a dog was trying to resuscitate an angle. Puck being the dog and Santana being the angel. I never understood why cheerleaders are these hot ass women and football players are these ugly ass men. It’s like those weird celebrity marriages like Cate Blanchett and her husband, or Beyoncé and Jay-Z. But the more I stood by her I realized she was looking at all the couples she just wanted somebody to date her and she deserved it I mean she wasn’t my type but she was good looking.

“Sup Mercedes are you okay?” I asked

Kurt came over

“Hello Y/n, Mercedes.” Kurt said

“Hey” I said as started to drift off thinking about what Santana would look like not wearing that cheerio outfit. Would she even have a good sense of fashion. What if she was wearing nothing. Good that a good picture.

Mercedes and Kurt started talking about how they have never kissed anyone. I tuned back into what they were saying although I wish I hadn’t. They started talking about how they were on the bottom of the social pyramid and then

Kurt said “Special Ed kids will get more play than we will.”his face changed when he said special ed

I walked away somewhat thrown a back by how mean Kurt could be; but then I realized that nobody knew that I was autistic and that’s what even thinking about them makes other people uncomfortable even people in glee. I realized that I had walked to coach Sues office and I was crying.

I would usually come in here when the comments other kids made got to be too much. She didn’t much. She didn’t mind as long as I didn’t break anything. Me and Kurt I thought had gotten close I was planning on telling him that I had autism something I don’t ever really tell anyone. When I had to tell his dad for business reasons he was extremely accepting and accommodating; but Kurt I guess wasn’t what I thought he was.

We all showed up to that Vocal Adrenaline place. We had planned a field trip around it I wasn’t going to go. But seeing as only three of the people in glee had cars. I was forced to go and drive people to it. When we all arrived I didn’t care what anyone was saying until Mercedes said that we all looked like we had stepped off the short bus. I stayed behind the group so that I wouldn’t hear anymore comments they said for being an accepting group they really didn’t do that much accepting of other people.

I watched as Mercedes tried to flirt with Kurt. I mentally slapped Myself in the face. I felt for her too though don’t get me wrong as a lesbian women who has had several crushes on straight women the pain of knowing they could never be with you and you can’t fix it hurts.

We watched Vocal Adrenaline. They all moved in perfect unison it was like watching a cult summon a demon. A demon called Dakota Stanley. We walked up to his car after we watched them and Rachel and Tina talked to them.

I saw the face of the cheerios. They had a plan to use Dakota to end glee. Too bad it cost 10,000$ to get him. There was no way we were going to get that money.

Santana and Puck had broken up right before we went to see vocal adrenaline. She said she needed a man with a better credit score; which I guess she believes to be true. But I have seen her check out a couple of chics. In glee club I always see her staring at Brittnay she frowns when she doesn't look at her and smiles when she looks at her. It reminded me of me my sophomore year hopefully it works better for them than it did for me. I fell so deeply into the crush but she had a boyfriend she was a senior and is now married to him and has a baby.

We had a ton of Cheerios in bikinis and there skirts help us with our car wash. Clearly Sue had alterer motives. But it felt nice and like a bonding experience. Me, my sister, Quinn, Brittnay, and Santana were all washing a car and having fun. Brittnay had the hose which I said was a horrible idea which was she ended up spraying all four of us with the hose. Which felt good until I saw that the other three had make up running down their face. I ran over to my purse which was over by the benches far away from the water. I grabbed my box of make-up wipes and headed back over to the girls.

Well I was gone apparently Mercedes and Kurt got into a fight and Mercedes smashed Kurt’s car window. Which I would inevitably have to fix at the shop. I handed the girls a mirror from my bag and my box of makeup wipes. Santanas hand stayed on my wet shirt a little too long. She was touching my abs. Not that I was complaining but to the point where others noticed. Quinn, My sister and Brittnay were staring at her hand. She quickly removed it when she noticed.

Our next glee club meeting that Dakota Stanley person showed up. He had us all stand in a line and take a packet to change our diet. I was standing next to Santana she looked at my diet which consisted of water. I was pretty sure I looked good so why was he having me change. Sue was as hard on me about my health as she was in the Cheerios if not more. He skipped Artie for some reason which he said was because cripples can’t be on the team. He went around criticizing the whole team except for the cheerleaders calling them perfect he reminded me of my mother. Then he went to me to criticize me. Which I wasn’t gonna let happen the only person I let talk bad about me had to buy me dinner first and the had to be laying naked with me in bed.

“Now you…. you look disgusting and revolting. You look like something my cat vomited up you’ll be in the very back so that no one can see you.” Dakota Stanley said

“Okay, no you don’t get to talk to me the way you’re talking to them. The only time I want someone to talk to me like that is when they are on top of me and those people can never be picked up by every person in this room. Because they are so small that it looks like they are one of those growing sponge animals who haven’t been put in water yet. So how about you shut up grumpy from Snow White. Look we’re all perfect because if you don’t have a packet to change the way you look. Which is like Golum had a baby with Cat. Then why should we because for you I have a diet book breakfast is Suck Lunch is My Dinner is Dick making an overall meal of Suck My Dick.” I said after he criticized everyone else in the room. Rachel told him he was fired. Which is sad because he would have fit in so well with his view on mentally disabled people.

I stayed late at school knowing that it was PTA night. I didn’t go near the section where the adults are. I stayed until everyone left then I went to Sues office and slept. Me and my mom got into a huge fight again.

The next day I was walking down the hallway and overheard Kurt come out to Mercedes. I was so proud of him I was not ready to the point of coming out yet but I was proud of him.

Me, my sister, Quinn and Santana we’re is Sue’s office. She was disappointed in the cheerios for failing at ending glee club and revoked their tanning privileges. Santana ran off crying over it and Hope (my sister) ran after her. Along with Quinn but before Quinn left she said something to Coach Sue

Quinn said “I wanna thank you”

Sue said “for what” snarky as ever

Quinn said “for teaching me a valuable life lesson, when you really believe in yourself you don’t have to bring other people down.”

god she was hot, smart and willing to stand up to Sue. She was my dream woman meaning I was hoping Finn cheated on her and she ran into my arms.

[loadednachosao3]

smth i noticed abt lacho fics is that nacho is the one who has trouble with his sexuality while lalo is basically unphased but i'm interested if you could see the opposite

hmmm... interesting! you guys know me, I love to turn the tables sometimes. enrichment in my enclosure

I can see Nacho being blasé/chill about it, like "yeah I fuck guys sometimes so what I'll knock your teeth out if you say some shit to me"

and I can also see someone like Lalo, who values family over everything, struggling with being gay because he feels like a disappointment. supposed to have a wife and kids, but just wants none of that, and as a result, tries to hide it by tomcatting around in public while secretly trolling gay bars

Nacho who has so much experience with other guys it's unreal, Lalo who has only had some quick and dirty fucks in gross bathrooms

maybe Nacho deliberately tries to seduce Lalo to get close to him bc his gaydar is going off, and Lalo is like aaaaaaaaa because he really wants to fuck Nacho but knows he shouldn't, but Nacho keeps LOOKING at him with those SULTRY EYES and it's DOING THINGS to him!!!

the first time Lalo fucks in a proper bed, he sees stars. weirdly comfortable and safe, which is not something he's ever thought he deserved

ah yes I like this idea thank u anon

[breakingblorbos]

Heyyy! I read through your intro to your blog and I know that Gus isn’t one of the main characters you mentioned you were fixated on but I was wondering if you could do headcanons for him? Both sfw and nsfw if you’re comfortable :)) I also love the idea that Gus was gay if you could maybe use that to influence some of your headcanons THANK YOU VRO!

Hi!!! 👋🏼👋🏼 Omg yes I'd love to!! Thank you so so much for sending me a request!! 🖤☺️ I'm SO SORRY this took so long, life has been crazy busy for me lately. I LOVE Gus so much even tho he's not on my faves list! (I had to keep the list on my pinned post short because I love all the characters, so listing everyone would've just been silly hdhsns)

This ended up longer than I expected. I hope that's okay!! I'm a rambler and a yapper for my faves, what can I say. I was trying to not let this turn into character analysis but?? Hell, I dunno what I'm doing lmaooo forgive me. I had lots of fun writing it tho! Hope you enjoy it as well! Some of these headcanons are 100% projection on my part, but hey, that's just how it be sometimes. We out here coping through our comfort characters 😌✌🏼 also, happy pride!! 🌈

👔Gus Fring Headcanons! 🐓

Disclaimer: This goes without saying, but these are just my personal opinions & headcanons on this character. I do not claim to own this character, nor any rights to the character or the source material.

CW: death, trauma, canon-typical violence, slight homophobia implied, NSFW content below the cut.

SFW

Gus is autistic! He is very high masking anytime he's around someone else, and he only feels comfortable unmasking when he's alone at home, where he can stim and self-regulate in private. Being high masking to that degree is exhausting, so he really enjoys/needs his alone time after business hours.

I don't know if he realizes or acknowledges that he is autistic; he probably never put too much thought into it. He's been too focused on just maintaining his business and surviving in the midst of the cartel.

Gus has intense germophobia, as well as a contamination phobia and hemophobia (fear of blood, specifically of blood getting on him). Before Max died, he didn't struggle with these issues, but the trauma of seeing the love of his life die horribly and unexpectedly in front of him developed into these phobias.

He repeatedly washes his hands throughout the day whenever they feel unclean, and showers every day. It's one of the ways he can stay in control in an otherwise out of control situation. It's how he can cope, because he never truly healed from Max's death.

Speaking of Max, they were more than just business partners! They were life partners in a romantic relationship. Max was one of the only people who Gus could be himself around and let down his guard.

Max was a big motivation and driving force for creating Los Pollos Hermanos, because Gus wanted to share his love for food to more than just his boyfriend. He wanted to share it with the world, with Max by his side. (This hurt my heart aah 😭)

I headcanon Gus as gay too! And he keeps his sexuality close to his chest. Very close. He's extremely cautious in ensuring that nobody– especially the Salamancas– knows that he's gay, unless he wants to be involved romantically with them.

I'd bet that the only people who knew were Max, Gale (they dated for a little bit before Gus called it off), Nacho (gaydar mostly. Nacho clocked him during that "find a way" scene in the car. You know the one), and mayyybe Mike. I feel like Hector was suspicious and kinda put the pieces together, and he was keeping it in the back of his mind as potential leverage/blackmail against Gus.

One of Gus' favorite ways to express his love and care for someone is to cook them a meal!

He loves everything about the process of cooking; the planning, the prep, cooking and assembling the dish, and finally (and most importantly), watching the person he made it for eat and enjoy it. It's mediative for him, and helps him calm down and focus when he needs a distraction.

After Max died, he lost a little bit of his passion for cooking, and cooking for anyone else never felt the same as it did for Max.

Gus' other hobbies at home would be anything that involved meticulous, detailed, and careful tasks/steps. I think he'd be into making model train sets or diorama scenes, or something akin to it. He's a perfectionist, through and through, and he feels very fulfilled seeing the finished product after he hyperfixates on a project.

NSFW

Now onto the spicy headcanons! 🫡 I kept it gender neutral in pronouns, simply for the sake of differentiating between Gus and his partner. Less confusing to read that way, but all of his partners will be men. Some of these aren't inherently explicit, but they fit better under this category since they're about his love life/relationships. Also, a little bit of implied Gus x reader if you squint teehee

Gus insists on being the top & the dominant during sex. This, again, goes back to his need for control of a situation and holding power over his lover. He will not bottom under any circumstance.

Max was the one person he was comfortable bottoming for, or letting Max be the dom. They would switch roles often enough so that they were equally both top and bottom. Anyone else is simply too unpredictable, in his eyes.

I would consider him mostly a soft dom, although he can get pretty nasty at times. He definitely has a degradation kink– degrading others, not receiving the degradation. And brat taming.

Speaking of kinks, I think Gus would be into bondage and rope play. He very much enjoys tying his partner up and teasing them relentlessly until they're begging and whining Gus to let them cum.

He doesn't typically have a very big sex drive, but with the right person, he goes absolutely wild with them every chance he gets. (It also helps him get out his frustrations and stress from work.)

He isn't necessarily a sadist (well... maybe a little bit 🤭), he just loves hearing his partner being so loud and needy and desperate for him. He eats that shit up!!

Gus practically never talks in Spanish outside of dealing with Salamancas. However, if he's built a deep connection with his lover (this is rare), he'll call them pet names and say sweet (or nasty) things to them while fucking them, depending on the vibe at the time. Amor, cariño, conejito, cochino, and putito are some of his favorites.

Gus is great at tending to his partner's needs; he listens and pays attention to what his partner is into and what turns them on the most.

Especially if they're trying to tease him in public or at the restaurant. He gets a little frustrated and annoyed that they're not "behaving professionally in a work setting", but that won't stop him from locking his office door and bending them over his desk for a fitting punishment.

"Fine. If you are unable to control yourself and behave properly while you are in my restaurant, then I have no choice but to control you myself. Do not let anyone hear you, understand?" He would growl in their ear as he starts to undo his belt.

He also gives amazing aftercare, but once the morning comes, he quietly puts his clothes back on and slips out the door. If he even stays the night at all.

Gus has a hard time allowing anyone to get close to him like Max did, so he only keeps things casual with his intimate partners. They're hookups and that's about it. He doesn't wanna catch feelings for anyone else, for his safety and theirs. He cut off his relationship with Gale because of his developing feelings.

If he ever did allow a relationship to go into the more serious territory, he would give his partner the same care, dedication, and loyalty that he shows in his work.

He would be the kind of boyfriend that makes sure his partner never wants for anything, as long as that same loyalty and dedication was reciprocated. He expects nothing less.

Gus takes a very long time to establish trust with someone, but once they have that trust, it's for life. He would protect them with every ounce of his strength and resource he has available to him.

Thank you so so much again, anon, for your request!! ❤️ If anyone else would like to submit a writing request, please read my pinned post first! Then you can submit your requests here!

🪐🌠

[29625]

I’m currently watching Suiyou Doudeshou (水曜どうでしょう) which is a Japanese cult classic travel show from mid 90s-early 00s featuring four (idiot) guys, and they get assigned rooms with double beds all the time.

ALL THE TIME.

(Well, something about Suzui-san/Misutaa screams girlypop loud n proud so I’m not really surprised. Source: my gaydar.)

So…Slimav with “only one bed” arch, soon? Maybe they (+Ice, of course) travel to Las Vegas or somewhere, and there are two rooms but one is a single bed room and the other is like a (barely) double bed room. Sli and Mav just lost so bad at the casino (plus Mav lost his wallet) so Ice is like man you losers can just cuddle on the single bed while I dominate the bigass mattress and they are like no, please have mercy.

A double bed.

Well, Sli and Mav—they are super good friends at this point. They hit off pretty well and they may or may not have gotten attached to each other.

Sli would be so stoked, a sleepover in a fancy hotel! But Mav? Oh god he’s just an awkward mess. (Guys, is it gay to want to cuddle with a buddy on a double bed like my other buddy joked earlier?)

Bonus points if Slider is feeling it, too—but he’s just too repressed as a gay man in the military he keeps shaking it off, trying to convince it’s just a phase for Mav’s part—until that short dark handsome bastard drops the L bomb.