#maybe its due to the fact that bc Life Stuff happened i didnt just finish all the games v quickly so theres still games i have to play

[musicallygt]

"hopefully im still really into aa by the time this rolls around." past Charm i have some news for ya. -Apollo

LSKDJFLKDSJFLSKDJFLKSJDFK OH MY GOD I GENUINELY FORGOT I SCHEDULED THAT LMAO

fr tho i didnt know if the ace attorney brainrot would last to a year but thankfully its still strong am still thinking abt tiny gay lawyers

[lovelyshawnn]

Boxer!Shawn (Part 2)

Part 1 // Part 3

The sunlight beamed through your curtains and created a soft glow around your room that eventually pulled you from your deep slumber. Your eyes peeled open, blinking away the traces of sleep as you take in your surroundings. You noticed the blood stained tissues that laid inside your small trash bin, which gave you flash backs from the events that occured last night. Holy shit, that was real? Shawn Mendes was really in your room, sitting on your bed? You remembered how vulnerable he looked beneath you, something that he was clearly not used to. He was always superior, always winning. To succumb to someone and allow them to take care of him just wasn’t in his nature. He was used to being on his own and taking care of himself.

Your thoughts were interrupted my the sound of keys jingling by the door before Emma walked in with her boyfriend, Brian. Brian and Emma have been dating for roughly two months, but you could tell that they were already madly in love with each other just by the way they looked at each other. You really liked Brian, he was the definition of a nice guy, and he genuinely liked Emma for who she is. He volunteers at the animal shelter, gets good grades, and is a proper gentleman towards Emma. He made Emma happy, which also made you happy for her.

“Is it true?” Emma urged, excitedly jumping onto your bed, “Did you bring Shawn back to our room last night?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Where did you hear that?”

“So it is true! Sophie from my economics class told me she saw you two walking in here together,” Emma said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. You let out a frustrated groan before shoving your face into your pillow. Of course girls were already starting to talk, it was Shawn that you were with after all. Great.

“Wait, Shawn as in my roomate Shawn?” Brian intervened from the other side of the room. One of your eyes peaked out from under your pillow. “Shawn is your roomate?” You and Emma said in unison, with an equal amount of surprise. “How did I not know this?!” Emma exclaimed. “Babe, what do you mean? I told you my roomate was Shawn! Besides, he’s never home when you come over,” Brian retaliated. “I thought you meant Shawn Henderson, not Shawn Mendes,” Emma replied. We were all collectively hit with realization at the same time, muttering an “Oooooh, that makes sense,” before Emma spoke up again.

“So?! Are you gonna tell me everything that happened?” You rolled your eyes and hopped out of bed to get ready for class. “Nothing happened, I just helped him clean his wound. That’s all,” you said, not sure if you were saying it to convince Emma or to convince yourself. Luckily, she dropped the subject at that and allowed you to leave for your biology class that was starting soon.

~

Your eyes were glued to the entrance door, nervously awaiting for Shawn’s arrival. You didn’t know why you felt this way, he’s never had this kind of effect on you before. The professor started the lecture, but you still caught yourself glancing to the door every now and then, hoping he would come bursting in. Before you knew it, class ended and there was still no sign of Shawn in sight. Just last night, he said he was gonna see you tomorrow. He never did. In fact, you didn’t see him at all for the next two days and you were starting to wonder if he was avoiding you. You debated on storming to his shared apartment with Brian and demanding answers, but decided against it. He’ll come to you when he was ready, and you were willing to wait.

The next time that you saw him in class, his wound shrunk in half and he acted like that night didn’t even happen. Maybe you were just over analyzing everything and that night really did mean nothing, so you brushed it off and went about your life. Once class ended, you walked up to him to ask, “Library at 6 tonight?”

He smirked, slinging his bag over his shoulder before replying, “Of course, honey.” He walked away before you could say anything. You scoffed at that damn nick name that made you weak in the knees, but you were kinda happy to see that he was okay and back to his old self.

~

You pushed open the doors to the library on campus, walking in and finding a seat in the back of the room. Shawn was late, as per usual. He strolled in 10 minutes later with his head held up high. He made eye contact with you and began walking towards your designated study desk. On the way there, he had to have winked at at least two different girls, earning an eye roll from you. “Hey,” he stated, taking his backpack off and sitting on the chair in front of you. “You look good today.” he stated as he leaned back in his chair, arms stretching as he entwined his hands on the back of his head. The position he was in perfectly displayed his ripped muscles. You scoffed,”Is that what you say to every girl?”

He smiled smugly at your snarky response, enjoying the annoyed reactions you always gave him. It was refreshing and humbling to him to have a girl not swoon at his every word once in awhile. “Only the really cute ones,” He replied with a wink while watching your face become a bright shade of pink.

A whole hour flied by and you were actually impressed by the amount of work you two finished and how he held back from flirting with you the entire time. “Alright, lets call it a day,” you said tiredly as you packed up your stuff. He nodded and followed your actions, putting his laptop into his backpack. You turned around to walk towards your room and the bed that you so desperately wanted to be sleeping in right now, when you felt a large hand grasp on to your wrist. You looked down to see Shawn’s hand and admired his beautiful bird tattoo. “Can I have your number, baby?”

You raised an eyebrow, looking at him suspiciously and being cautious of what his intentions were. He noticed your uneasy reaction and quickly followed up on his question, “‘s just for the project, darling.” You nodded in agreement and typed your number into his phone. As you handed him his phone back, you could’ve sworn you almost saw him smile genuinely. Not a smirk, not a smug smile full of mischief, but a genuine smile. However, that smile only lasted for a fraction of a second, his facial expression quickly going back to the hard stern that he always wore. He mumbled a thanks before exiting the library.

Exchanging numbers eventually led to more texts and more talking and more library sessions. This allowed you to get to know him better, sorta. You gave more than you received. Shawn knew lots about you, whereas you could barely pry open Shawn enough to know his favorite color. You respected this, you knew of his reputation of not letting anyone close to him. But you couldn’t help yourself wanting to know more about him, wanting to spend more time with him. You were attracted to his mysterious characteristics. It was the last week before your big project was due, and you were slightly sad because that meant you didn’t have an excuse to see Shawn every other day, but you tried not to think about it because you were in denial. You weren’t catching feelings. You weren’t getting overly attached. You guys are friends. Just friends.

Before going to bed, you texted him to confirm the next library session date to finish up the project.

To: Shawn

Same time tomorrow?

From: Shawn

Sorry, honey. Not tomorrow.

The dryness in his text was upsetting, but not surprising. You thought nothing of it, dozing off and falling asleep in bed. Little did you know, the reason he wasn’t available to properly text you back was because he was training for a boxing match against Drake Henderson tomorrow.

A/N: hi this is kinda short but i wanted to leave if on somewhat of a cliffhanger bc its leading up to something!! ik the story feels kinda slow but dw things will start actually happening soon HAHA ty for reading and ty for the feedback!! i def didnt expect this many notes on these imagines haha

[stuntchica]

i just keep getting so angry about hospital so im going to try and write down everything bad i can remember them doing to try and get it all out

when they first came to my house dr d completely waved off what i said abt not remembering childhood & being disturbed by that. he asked me to name a childhood toy & after i could he said ‘see, you can remember’ even though id literally seen that toy that morning & was remembering from,, you know,, my whole life not just my childhood

despite the fact that i was not a danger to myself or anyone else, dr d decided after seeing me for 20 minutes that i had to go into hospital. he said i could either come informally myself or he would have me sectioned

i was not told how long i would be there for. we were told to bring an overnight bag so i expected it to just be overnight. when i got there i was told that i’d be there for at least 2 weeks

when they first gave me the menu to order off i wasnt told that there was a Rule that i had to finish everything so i ordered the thing i thought id like the most even tho i knew there was stuff i wouldnt like with it

when the food arrived (pizza, peas & chips) i ate everything except the cheese on the pizza bc it was cheddar & thats a Bad Food(tm) & i was really proud of myself bc it was more than i’d had in one sitting for weeks. the exact words the nurse with me said were ‘this counts as a failure’

when the snack time came around no one told me the full list of options (weeks later i found out that chocolate was available) so i picked a yogurt. after opening it i realised it had bits in it but i was too scared to ask for a different one bc i didnt like any of the other flavours. i ate as much as i could but i rlly couldnt stand the bits. the nurse with me told me it was another failure but another nurse in the room, thankfully, replaced her & understood what had happened

i dont remember what happened on the rest of the first day bc my abandonment fear kicked in and i got really panicked when my parents had to leave

i dont remember the rest in chronological order, but lets see

the room i was put into had a leaky toilet. it would leak all night long and due to how the bathroom was the leak echoed. it sounded like a waterfall. every time they came to fix it it would break again later that day. my shower was also broken and wouldnt turn on

i had to have a blood test on a friday but they didnt send the bloods off straight away so i had to have another one the next monday. keep in mind that i have an intense fear of needles

dr d compared me going on the internet to drug addicts waiting in line for heroine, even after i explained that it was the only way i had to avoid isolating myself & tried to explain what i actually do there

i couldnt eat a meal and was told ‘if you dont start eating we’ll have to make you’ despite the fact that i was eating when i could & if i couldnt finish a meal i was eating chocolate that was in my room. also despite the fact i was an informal patient so that was literally not possible

dr d spent hours trying to convince & guilt me into agreeing to take medication, despite the fact that was the one thing i’d always said no to (fun fact! i literally cant swallow medication. no one took me seriously when i said that either). eventually tho the psychologist spoke to him abt it & he stopped

the first 2 weeks i was there i saw no therapists. at all. because it was the easter holidays and they were away. there was nothing to do all day except watch tv, colour, & play cards. despite the fact that we were all so bored we were not taken out of the hospital or allowed access to our phones

in fact, for the entire 2 months i was there i was only taken out by staff twice. both those times happened in the same day. and were to the same place. a costa that was in the main hospital. does it even count as going out if youre just taken to a different part of the same building?

i had to stay there for 2 months while actively suicidal patients were allowed to leave before their 2 week assessments were over

even my camhs psychologist admitted that she didnt expect them to keep me for more than 2 weeks

the hospital psychologist admitted that she had no idea why dr d was insisting i stay for so long

i was told i was going to be put on a meal plan. i told them that would make me lose weight bc it would further limit how much i could eat. they didnt listen to me and blamed me when i did, in fact, lose weight

for the first month i was there no one did anything about my weight. i had to keep telling them that was my main problem and i needed help with it. after their ‘help’ hindered more than anything i regretted bringing it up

one night we found a piece of paper saying ‘i have a knife and im going to use it to self harm or kill someone’. when we all got, understandably, scared the nurses patronised us and got annoyed with us

a nurse yelled at my friend for ‘not being polite’

my friend managed to run away from the hospital twice. there were warning signs that the rest of the patients picked up on. she nearly killed herself both times

my friend found a razorblade on a seat. she was so shocked to see it there she said out loud ‘there’s a razorblade’. she said later that she regretted alerting everyone to it bc the nurses obviously took it away. we still dont know how it got there

one girl brought in a pair of scissors. no one had thought to check her bag. luckily she didnt intend to use them for anything other than arts & crafts (& cutting her hair, which is how i found out about the scissors & told her to hand them in. yeah, they didnt even notice she had scissors until i pointed them out)

one girl stole a syringe from the medical room and used it to take the supplement out of her nose tube. they didnt notice for weeks.

one week i gained some of weight. when i was happy dr d said ‘thats not really enough to be happy about’. the next week a lost less weight than i had gained. he spent half an hour telling me about how much of a failure i was

dr d tried very hard to have me diagnosed with atypical anorexia despite me consistently saying ‘i want to gain weight because i know im unhealthily underweight’ and the fact that the reason i was admitted to camhs was bc i went to the doctor for help to gain weight

my parents came to collect me to go out every day at 1:30pm. one day by 3:30pm they still werent there. i was scared something had happened because i had no phone to text them using. eventually i was told that the staff had called them to tell them not to come, and no one had told me. i had a panic attack because theyd gone behind my back and this meant i wouldnt be able to text my fp all day. the next day when i saw dr d he said ‘youre nearly 18 isnt it a bit childish to get upset over not seeing your parents for just one day?’

an ot that i saw said that i ‘put on an american accent and smiled when it was pointed out’. what really happened was she asked if i had an american accent and i smiled out of awkwardness and said ‘i speak to american people so maybe i picked it up??’ bc i didnt want her to feel awkward. if she had asked me i would have told her that i wasnt trying to put on any kind of accent

we were allowed to watch the babadook and mama but the second we suggested a film about psychosis we were told no

me and my friend got yelled at for what was on tv once

they called the police on patients, multiple times, when it was clear that no one would have reacted violently if they’d just done their jobs right

my friend cried because she knew after she left hospital she would have a criminal record. she had punched a nurse by accident while having a panic attack

i was told i could go home & was being discharged. i emptied out my room and spent a great 2 weeks at home. then we were called and i was told i had to go back for a night

dr d always had an idea in his head of what was wrong with me, and if i said anything that went against it he’d tell me that i was either lying or in denial

dr d told me off for not looking at him and said it wasnt polite

dr d told me off for crying

dr d told me off for not feeling safe with my eyes closed

dr d told another patient that she was probably not autistic bc she understood what ‘pull your socks up’ meant

despite me saying that i wanted to be assessed for asd nothing happened. they told me that they would consider me to be ‘informally autistic’ but that meant literally nothing

nurses thought that they could get me to eat by sitting next to me and guilting me

very few nurses noticed that i ate chocolate after meals because i was aware of the fact that i wasnt eating much & i wanted to change that

i had to eat chocolate after meals bc no one listened to me when i explained my food issues and that was the only way to make sure i was eating

there was what was basically a riot. i wasnt there when it happened but its easy to see how people got that upset and angry

the day after the riot everyone was punished, even those of us who hadnt even been at the hospital

my friend was shut in the ‘rumpus room’ (padded room). its illegal to do that

it took a month before someone told me i was allowed to discharge myself

i spent two months in a psychiatric hospital. it was never explained why i was there in a way i could understand. dr d literally said ‘my colleagues ask why you’re still here’ yet he didn’t discharge me. if i hadn’t turned 18 im sure i would still be there. i wasnt diagnosed with anything. it made my mental health worse

this isnt even everything because my memory of then is very patchy