#maybe it's the autism
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Starfolk
#グウェンの日々の絵#art#my art#daily art#daily art challenge#digital art#worldless#worldless game#God this took me so long ugh I hate having so many things getting in my way#namely adhd and ocd#maybe it's the autism#either way#sorry for oversharing
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I just came to the startling revelation that Laios (Dungeon Meshi) reminds me of my father
like, so much
#maybe it's the autism#maybe it's the genuine love and care for his family#even if he's clueless sometimes on how to go about it#idk#but i think i need a moment now
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I am NOT beating the autism stereotypes bc I have had hyperfixations on trains AND sharks AND teenage mutant ninja turtles, AND I've been diagnosed w/ selective mutism, AND i wear headphones. I am literally the "younger cousin w/ autism" example bs that people use. The only thing that doesn't fit is that im not a CIS man.
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For RXE: MTMF
Word Count thus far: 8267 words (236 added today), I'm still on page 20
#bathtime talking#fanfic#fanfic writing#fanfic writer#fanfiction writer#fanfiction#fanfiction writing#writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#eddie x richie#reddie#Why is dialogue so hard to write#maybe it's the autism#I don't know how people talk and interact#But boy I can make them bang lolz
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does anyone else also feel ashamed/embarrassed to engage in anything new especially if it's something that's getting popular and they feel like they are cringe and should be ashamed for thinking they can engage with it like everyone else and even just looking it up is really hard and embarrassing 🙌
#maybe it's the autism#currently this is about mouthwashing. btw#but it has been a constant thing thag happens whenever i get a new interest#and there is no cure to it but to just push through it until Idgaf anymore#talks
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"good confidence!"
thank you i mimicked it
#i'm realising that all my behaviours are just fucking me mimicking people i like#maybe it's the autism#autism#autistic experiences#autistic things#actually autistic#so autistic of me
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I feel like the Chris Fleming "vibe dysphoria" bit ("you are not a little mouse getting groceries, you are a very cruel woman who happens to be small") should also include the people who avoid confrontation under the guise of "positive vibes only" like you're not spreading warmth and kindness by saying everything is fine, you're refusing to acknowledge and resolve interpersonal conflict and making the vibes worse
#maybe it's the autism#but I'm STILL MAD that a year long friendship got ended bc I asked her to stop making suicide jokes around me bc it was triggering me
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Why is sexuality so much harder to pinpoint than gender?? I figured my tranny shit out in 18 hours but to this day all I can tell you about my sexuality is that I want to be someone's dog
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Lines from the "2023 Speaker of the United States House of Representatives election" Wikipedia page that made me laugh
(in an "oh god" kinda way)
This chart of the results of the first vote--
-- followed by the statement, "Lee Zeldin, whose term as a House member had ended with the close of the 117th and previous Congress, was no longer an incumbent representative."
"Representative Matt Gaetz of Florida nominated Jordan, while Jordan himself nominated and voted for McCarthy." (Second vote)
"Donalds wrote on Twitter about his decision to change his vote, stating that "the reality is Rep. Kevin McCarthy doesn't have the votes" (Third vote) (No one had enough votes that time, either. Donalds has yet to earn more than twenty.)
"Aguilar again nominated Jeffries" gets repeated-- verbatim-- six times.
#us politics#bruh#jay talks#the way wikipedia editors phrase this ridiculous shit makes it somehow very funny to me#maybe it's the autism#'wrote on Twitter'
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I don't if it's an autism trait or not but I argue with people a lot.. I don't mean to but I can't stop it sometimes. Usually it's when I feel a group of people aren't being treated fairly. I try to bite my tongue when someone is criticizing me personally but when it's others or someone I care about I get really heated and I can't stop. It takes a lot of my energy and sometimes I think it's not worth it but I still do it.. Idk what it is.
#Idk why I'm arguing with people all the time#some people tell I'm too defensive but I can't control it#maybe it's the autism
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Every night I go to sleep
And dream up horrors beyond human comprend
And then I wake up and realize
There's no end
Every moment is a waking nightmare
Somsomskmsksmdomdbuckstabu
I have emotions that run so deep
Makes it super hard to sleep
Zu groß Zu groß
HOW THE FUCK CAN MERE MORTAL HANDLE THESE HORRORS
IT HURTS
*screaming. Maybe tearing at my eyes or something idk*
#i wrote a little diddy at work about the horrors#i work at the Church of Capitalism#which is Walmart#i wrote it down to seem deep#bruh#idk#maybe it's the autism#but like#i have feelings#and they make my body really heavy#and it hurts my meatsuit#and my bones#I DONT UNDERSTAND DIE DER AND DAS WHY ARE THE WORDS GENDERED#WHY AREN'T THEY ALL NEUTER NOUNS?#DIE pizza#DAS SANDVITCH#screaming
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Do people actually care if a story is predictable ? Do ppl care
#I will read. On e billion romances where they are in love and happy at the end. And I will rejoice#'What Happens In The Story' is like one (1) piece of the actual overall experience and delights a tale has to offer. I don't get it#When I got the last Wayfarers book I read it straight through in 1 day and then literally immediately started reading it again#Maybe it's the autism
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on being 19 and suffering from incessant longing
you are 19. it is 10:47pm on a saturday night, and you are filled with longing for what your life will be one day. you dream about freedom from needing to work or be in school or make money or do anything much at all. even though you know that needing is more in your mind than it is anywhere else. you have dreams. you think about standing on top of a big hill during a heavy rain. you dance and dance to your favorite band alone, though it's unclear where their music is coming from. you picture yourself dancing for so long that time eventually leaves and goes home and all that is is you and the hill and the rain and the music. on that hill you understand your body and her language and she doesn't need to tell you how to dance or what to do with your arms or your legs or anything because she can move them on her own. everyone on the bottom of the hill is watching and laughing and taking pictures and you decide they are celebrating. you decide they understand, and they want to dance. soon enough everyone is on that hill, and they are all dancing. in another dream, you are in your favorite tv show and you are just like them. you are confused and lost but they are too. nobody who has ever tried to hurt you is real to them, so they don't understand why you cry. you know every room of their apartment and you move in and act like it is home and they know that you are home. you are home there. you don't wake up from these dreams. you find the hill in your car and your best friends bedroom floor and alone, somewhere. you find the apartment in corners of bookstores and foreign bathroom stalls. you remember these dreams better than you remember high school or anything before it. you write about these dreams, and you search endlessly for your hill and your apartment. you remember these dreams.
#poetry#longing#young poets#adulthood#growing#pinegrove#himym#maybe it's the autism#maybe it's maybelline
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I feel none of those choices, in relation to the last reblog. People call me cute and I hate it, it feels bad.
#maybe it's the autism#my parents call me beautiful and that also feels bad#but i am not cute#i am not a good looking person
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dammit, Kenny made more
10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board
#ducks#little ducks#those were my ducks#fuck#bro I'm craving some soup right now#like the#the loaded baked potato soup from#from chili's#that shit slaps#like fr#I want to make bread too#y'know#maybe it's the autism#idk
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me, a full 5 days after my birthday: ...shit, I'm 35
#i forgot my own birthday#i guess chronic pain will do that#maybe it's the AuDHD#maybe it's the autism#or cptsd?#my bones tell me the weather
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