#maybe it's more like....... i'm finally meeting my current self for the first time

[sorabyul]

today, my therapist said that she sensed a shift in identity within me. i told her that i think it's me letting go of my identity as a caregiver.

in my 20s, i think i embraced this concept of being the "eldest daughter of an immigrant" as a way to rationalize this idea that i am a caregiver to my family — that this is my identity because of the position and family i was born into, to say that it was bestowed on me. but what i've come to realize is that, while the truth is that i am the eldest daughter to immigrant parents, that is not synonymous with being the caregiver to my family. yes, it set me up in a position where certain abuses, expectations, and responsibilities were thrust unto me. but the difference is that i'm allowed to (and i have the ability to) unlearn this, so that i can rightfully explore my identity.

and today, i realized that i was trying to make "caring" my definitive characteristic but at the expense of my being. in actuality, i think many people would choose to define me as loving, kind, joyful. when i was younger, i wanted to be described as sunshine and i think that "loving, kind, joyful, sunshine" are far more servient traits that i have achieved. i can care for others without having to be a caregiver.

and if i'm not a caregiver then what am i? the answer to that is that i am nothing and everything at the same time. my therapist laughed when i answered that i'm just a girl, but i mean it in the most wonderful way.

i am young and yet mature. i am an adult but i have a lot to learn. i am the grey area between black and white. i do not have to be anything concrete or absolute because every day, i am evolving and learning and experiencing life for the first time — and that will undoubtedly change me. to be loved is to be changed and i think i'm well on my way to truly loving myself.

for once in my life, i do not feel defined by any specific role and it is the most liberating, kind space that i have carved for my past, current and future selves. the world will carry on, people will carry on, and all i have to do for my loved ones is love them in the ways that i know how today.

every day, change is a possibility and, while i think i've always liked the idea of it, i am now in a place where i do not consider change to be anything less than a natural way of being. it isn't something that i have to be guilty for, and embracing change doesn't have to (ironically enough) change how loved or wanted i am.

i am just a girl who is loved and cared about, who cares about her loved ones, who is kind, who stumbles upon joy and strives to be remembered as sunshine.

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[zxoaii]

Touch

fem! reader x bodyguard Choso

Summary: After the being sent to attend an event, Y/n and Choso find themselves more caught up with each other.

SMUT

WC: 2k

Wattpad: _Bolter

[ Y/n ]

"You look good in a suit." Choso looks at me while I adjust his tie. "You are stunning. No one is going to notice me with you right next to me." He's always so sweet.

"Thank you."

The elevator door rings out and the doors open. Choso offers me his arm. I take it as we walk into the foyer of the ballroom.

"Good evening." The host draws our attention to him. My bag clicks open as I retrieve the invitation. "He's my plus one." Of course, if he knows who I am he'd know that.

Money and Jujutsu Sorcery don't usually meet but somewhere, they did. I wouldn't say my clan is completely good but we are a force to be reckoned with.

My mother is the current head of the clan and because of my apparent lack of cursed energy, I was assigned a bodyguard.

I've had several throughout my life but this one is my favorite. Choso is a gentleman. He's caring and friendly. Not to mention, he is not bad-looking at all.

He isn't even a Jujutsu Sorcerer. He's a half-curse.

We walk into the crowded ballroom together. I love parties. They're a nightmare for him. He wouldn't ever say it out loud though.

Choso instinctively takes his arm away from me and falls two paces behind me. Technically we're supposed to act like he isn't here.

Still, it saddens me to lose his touch.

"Ms. Y/l/n, you look incredible. The last time I saw you, you were only a teenager. It's been so long!" I'm thrown into a conversation before I can tell Choso he should stand with me.

The night starts to drag on with insignificant conversations one after another. Being polite is exhausting. Especially when it's spent being polite to people who can't help but be self-obsessed.

As soon as I get a chance I excuse myself to go get a drink. I take Choso's arm and lead us to the drink table. "Do you want some?"

Choso shakes his head. Oh well. I take a glass of champagne for myself. It's a shame this is all they choose to serve. Still, it's better than nothing.

"How long have we been here?"

"45 minutes."

I want to spit my drink out. Only 45 minutes? It feels like we've been here for hours. I've been talking for hours. It's impossible.

"Seriously?"

Choso nods and scans the room. "Come on, there's not actually anyone here who's going to do anything to me." He gives me an unsure glance. "How long do we have to stay for?" My feet ache already. It's freezing in here. I would rather be anywhere else and I'd rather it just be him and I.

"You're supposed to stay for an hour and a half at least."

"What if I say I'm sick?"

Choso takes my empty glass from me and returns it to the table. "We came all this way just for this." He reminds me.

He looks so good in his suit. If I could have a picture of him dressed up like this I'd keep it in a locket.

"Y/n!" A voice calls out excitedly from behind me.

I really hate parties.

.  .  .

Choso sits in the front seat of the car as we're driven to our hotel. I can't stop admiring him. My cheeks flush when he looks at me through the rearview.

We hold eye contact until I look away.

The driver eventually stops in front of our hotel and opens my door for me. "Thank you." I step out of the car. Warm humid air wraps itself around my bare skin.

Choso follows behind me as I make my way inside. I can't come up with any valid reasons as to why I'd need to go to his room.

The walk through the lobby, then the elevator ride, and finally the walk to my room are all too short. I don't have enough time to think of something.

I stop at my door to give myself a second to think.

"Are you ok?"

My hand lingers on the doorknob for a moment before falling to my side. "Choso, you should come in with me."

I turn to look at him after I ask. "What?" This is the first time I've seen him so caught off guard. Maybe that's because he usually stands behind me.

"I want you to come in with me."

"We have our own rooms." Despite his now hardened reaction, his cheeks are red with blush. "Ok." I stop pushing and unlock my door.

"Goodni-"

Choso's hand lands on the door to stop it from shutting. He looks down at me from his place in the doorway. I step out of his way and he walks into the room. The door shuts behind him, leaving us in darkness. Some of the city lights illuminate parts of the room.

Just enough so I can see him.

My heart beats heavily in my chest as I reach out to touch him. Choso steps closer to me and allows me to start undoing his tie.

It falls to the floor but my hands remain on his chest. I have to stand on my toes to reach his lips. Choso leans in and meets me in a kiss.

My hands grip his shirt in fistfuls. Our kiss becomes increasingly desperate. My back meets the wall with a thud. One of his hands lands on the wall next to my head. The other finds its way onto my back.

Choso follows my spine with his fingers. He reaches the nape of my neck and takes the zipper of my dress. The straps fall from my shoulders as the zipper is drawn lower and lower.

When the entire thing is unzipped I let it pool around my ankles. Choso lifts me and carries me across the room. He handles me so gently. I'm laid carefully onto the bed.

My heels are slipped off my feet and then tossed across the room. Choso's lips start at my ankles and trail upwards. Each kiss leaves me more and more entranced by his touch.

As his lips meet my thighs he starts to linger longer. My fingers reach out and grab his hair. He continues up to my hips and for a moment I think he might keep going until our lips meet again.

Instead, he hooks my underwear with his fingers and gives himself more access to me. His touch runs hot across my skin as he pulls my underwear down completely.

"Is this ok?"

"You don't have to ask."

My hands encourage his movements. Choso's lips meet my core in a heated kiss. The kiss feels starved like he needs me to live. He shifts my left leg over his shoulder to give himself better access.

"Oh my god..." I sit up, resting on my elbows to look at him. Choso is still completely dressed. Despite how good-looking he is in his suit, I want it off.

"Take your shirt off."

Choso doesn't falter or stop. Instead, he works his jacket off and lets it fall to the floor. He starts working on the buttons down his shirt until he can take that off too.

His back is painted with scars that remind me of where he came from. My eyes are drawn down by his. Choso watches me through lustful hooded eyes.

His tongue presses against my clit causing my legs to bend instinctively. The dim lights from the window draw harsh shadows across his body.

Choso's hair is a mess from my hands. It falls into his face and tickles the inside of my thighs. Still, he deepens his movements.

The graze of his teeth against sensitive flesh causes a gasp. My hips grind against his mouth as he presses his tongue flat against me. Choso lets out a deep moan that vibrates through my body.

Pleasure starts to build up within me overwhelmingly quickly. "Don't stop." My pleas are answered by Choso's quickened kissing.

He moans once more. My eyes fall lower, following his arm. Choso masturbates as he eats me out. "Shit." The sigh drags on with my orgasm.

Choso doesn't stop until I fall back onto the bed. He pulls away breathlessly and fully removed his pants. His toned chest is also littered with scars that only continue to turn me on.

"Can you continue?" He licks his lips and runs his hand along my thigh. "Yes." Choso nods and reaches up to remove my bra. "You're fucking beautiful." His hands run along my body as if to memorize the feeling.

I shift to the edge of the bed, sitting on my knees so I can kiss him. This kiss is soft. Choso's hand carefully holds my chin. I follow him blindly as he sits down on the bed.

We pull away for a moment. Gentle hands guide me onto his lap. Choso holds my back as I fit him inside of me. The pain turns to pleasure within a minute.

Our eyes stay locked as I roll my hips. My nails dig into his back as I move against him. "Y/n." My name comes out as a plead more than a statement.

My desperate movements become quicker at his unsaid request. Choso peppers kisses along my neck and shoulders. He finds a spot and begins to suck on it to leave a mark.

I tilt my head to the side to give him more access. "Ah- Choso!" He bites down on my neck. I don't know if he drew blood or not but his tongue traces the bite mark several times before he moves on.

Choso's hands grip my ass. He guides me vertically in addition to my horizontal movements. Our moans grow louder together as I follow his movement.

"You're so fucking perfect." Choso catches my lips after his comment, only for a moment. He watches me with such loving eyes my heart flutters in my chest.

Has he always looked at me like this?

The buildup of my second orgasm comes along with his. His grip on me tightens, I feel the twitch of his cock inside me, and his head falls forward onto my shoulder.

Choso mumbles words I can't hear over the sound of my own moans. My orgasm washes over me so intensely that my legs twitch at his side.

We hold each other for a minute before I shift off of his lap to lie down. Choso collapses down next to me. My hand finds his, intertwining our fingers.

"You're... Unbelievable."

The smile on my face feels like it might never go away again. "Do you like me, Choso?" I look over at him from my spot.

"Like you? Of course I like you." He meets my eyes for a moment before shyly looking away. "Do you have deeper feelings for me?"

If the lighting was better I think I'd be able to see that bright red blush all across his face. "I do." His eyes search the ceiling for anything to look at other than me.

"I have deeper feelings for you too." I sit up so he can't avoid looking at me. "You do?" I brush his sweaty hair from his face. "Of course." Choso doesn't return my happy grin.

Instead, he sits up and meets my lips in another passionate kiss. My arms lock around his shoulders to hold him closer. I'd stay like this forever if I had the choice.

Choso pauses for a moment then pulls away. He rubs my thigh as his eyes trail along my neck. He stops at the spot I assume he had bitten. My fingers feel across the skin for a moment before finding the mark.

"I'm sorry. You just tasted so good."

"Don't talk."

I lean back in and happily take another kiss from him. The bite mark will be hard to hide, especially since nothing I packed covers my neck.

Still, if he wanted to bite me again he could.

We could do this all over again as many times as he wants.

[sebuckyverse]

for a good time, call [4]

modern!rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

series summary: Eddie Munson is a burnt out rockstar, touring the country. When he finds a phone number written on a bathroom wall, he strikes an unusual friendship with a coffee shop barista who has no idea who he is.

warnings: 18+ cussing, m!masturbation, dirty talk, flirting, self-doubt, misunderstandings, mutual pining, angst, strangers to friends to lovers word count: 5,2k

an: the penultimate chapter!! i'm sorry for... the ending mwahaha, i love pain y'all know that. anyway i hope you like it as always, pls let me know. don't forget to reblog babes! <3

chapter three ♫ masterlist ♫ askbox

chapter four ♫♪♩·.¸¸

Eddie's in New York. He loves this city, the one that never sleeps. It's so different from Hawkins. New York is fast paced, bustling crowds full of people rushing to wherever they were going. Eddie feels like he blends in, no one pays attention to him because they don't have the time typically. The past two weeks have been quick, time is flying by with the end of the year in sight. Eddie's been busy too. Besides his usual routine of touring, he's been silently seeking new management. He's had a couple meetings with potential new managers, under the radar of course. They were both successful, he'd say. But there was one woman who he really liked. She was a bit older, in her 40s maybe, but she was smart, experienced and compassionate when Eddie talked about his professional struggles with his current team. She kind of reminded him of his mom, too...

The two shows they have in Madison Square Garden start tomorrow and to be honest, he feels bittersweet about it. This is literally his dream coming true, both shows have been nearly sold out too. While he's extremely grateful to be playing at one of the biggest stages, he feels guilt and shame, it's been gnawing his stomach the moment they arrived in the city last night. He didn't get much sleep over it, either, and he gave up trying when the sun first peeked out from the horizon.

It's only a little after 7am, when he takes a walk through the concrete jungle, walking past the Garden with the Empire State Building looming behind it. He's in comfortable clothes - light blue jeans, ripped at the left knee and right thigh, a simple grey hoodie pulled over his head, with his hair in a low bun underneath and his signature jean vest pulled on top, rocking a pair of white high top sneakers on his feet. And since it was early morning and he wasn't in work mode yet, he had his glasses on. Round shaped with thick, clear rims. From his left pocket, he pulls out his phone and finally dials the number he's been avoiding like the plague.

''Eddie? Is that you, son?'' Wayne's voice shoots out after a couple of rings.

''Yeah, it's me.'' Eddie sighs, thankful he was outside as he could already feel his chest tightening. ''Before you say anything, j-just let me explain, please.''

Wayne doesn't say anything and Eddie takes a deep breath before letting go, ''I've been stupid and selfish. I've let other people control me and my life for so long now, when I should've been the one in charge. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I trusted the wrong people. I pushed you away because you were the only sensible thing I had left and I didn't want you to see the loser I had become. Unbeknownst to them, someone has helped me see the things a bit more clearly. I'm still figuring some stuff out, but I just wanted you to know that I'm really fucking sorry and I miss you.''

He feels like a ton has been lifted off his shoulders. Eddie sniffs and clears his throat. It takes Wayne a minute to process, so he just keeps walking in silence.

''First of all, you're not stupid. You're young and making mistakes is part of growing up. Now I would have appreciated if you had figured things out sooner, but I'm glad you did. I didn't want to push too much, I knew you needed to fight your way out of this yourself. I've been keeping tabs on you, some kids showed me the way around a computer.'' Wayne chuckles and it makes Eddie huff along, too. ''I miss you too, son. You're the furthest thing from a failure, Ed, and I'm very proud of you. You're a brilliant young man, I need you to remember that.''

Eddie swallows thickly, fixing his glasses. ''You're the one I look up to, so whatever I may be - it all came from you.''

''Oh, I don't know about any of that,'' his uncle drawls, ''you were always independent, looked out for yourself. I was just there when you needed me.''

''I always need you. I'm in New York right now, we're playing the Garden... Like I always wanted,'' Eddie says, his voice getting quieter.

''What's the matter then? You don't sound too happy about it.''

''No, I am,'' Eddie defended, ''It's just weird without you here, I guess I always pictured it differently. I was thinking - maybe I could fly you out for a show?''

''I'd like that. Not tomorrow though, I'm working,'' Wayne replied and Eddie smiled to himself, blinking away the (happy) tears that threatened to fall.

''That's fine, the day after tomorrow then? It's two shows.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

''Shit, okay. Let me work out some details and I'll text you later?''

''That's fine, Ed. Listen, I'm thrilled that you called but duty calls. I have used up all of my smoke break minutes for today,'' Wayne joked.

''Yeah, okay.'' Eddie chuckled. ''I'll see you in two days, then.''

''Two days,'' his uncle confirmed.

They said their goodbyes and Eddie hung up, unable to process what just happened. He mentally kicked himself for not doing this sooner, he would have felt a lot better a long time ago. With a lot more prep in his step, Eddie googled the nearest coffee shop. He needed the caffeine for today and his stomach was grumbling, he left the hotel way before breakfast was served. After following the instructions his phone told him, he arrived in front of a corner shop with. He stood in front of it, hesitating. Is this were you worked at? What would he do if you did? He could already see a girl behind the counter - was that you? He had no idea what you looked like. Would he recognize you by just your voice? Only one way to find out.

He pulled the door open and stepped inside, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm bread hitting him in a wave.

''Good morning,'' the girl behind the counter cheered. She sounded similar, sure, but he couldn't tell 100%.

''Uh, hi.'' Eddie stepped closer to the counter, pretending to look around.

''What can I get- oh, it's you.'' the girl gasped and Eddie froze. ''You're Eddie, right?'' she whispered.

Oh shit, was this it? Was it you? He didn't feel like it was you. He had a special feeling whenever he talked to you, which you two had been doing almost every day now. He had started feeling shitty about not coming clean about who he was, you had opened up so much already, when he had only given you crumbs. You didn't seem to mind though, or if you did you didn't show it.

''Yeah..'' Eddie blinked, playing with his glasses, his hands shaking a little bit.

''Wow, you're really cool. I saw you and your band live a few weeks ago. You're great!'' she said coolly, a polite smile on her face.

Eddie smile back politely, hiding his disappointment. It wasn't you, obviously. He was stupid to think he'd find you at the very first coffee shop he set his foot in. ''Oh, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.''

''Yeah, I have to admit I wasn't a fan before, but my girlfriend dragged me along. Anyway, I actually really liked it, so...''

''Hey, that's cool. Anyway,'' he cleared his throat, ''you got any good coffee?''

''Oh, for sure. Here or to go? What kind of coffee would you like?''

Eddie gave his order and she typed away on her screen. Black coffee, medium size, two sugars, to go. His empty stomach also didn't go unnoticed. ''Got any pastry recommendations?''

''Sweet or savoury?'' the girl asked, sliding his cup towards him on the counter, topping it with a lid.

''I'm not sure. Sweet maybe?'' Eddie cocked his head, looking at the display of shiny golden bread in front of him.

''I'd recommend the chocolate croissant or the almond buttercream eclair. The croissant is our most popular one, but the eclair is my friends favorite.''

''I'll go with the eclair then,'' he decided, pulling out his wallet and digging for some cash.

The girl packed his pastry in a box and placed it on the counter next to his coffee. Eddie threw her a twenty, even though his bill was 11 dollars. ''Keep the change. You've been most helpful...''

''Robin,'' she finished.

''Robin, thank you. Hope to see you at another show!''

Eddie walked the long way back to the hotel, sipping his coffee and munching on his eclair. Both of which were incredible, by the way. He figured he'd go back if he had the time. When he got back to his room, he had finished the food and took the last sip of coffee, throwing it in the empty basket under the desk.

.•♫•♬•

You were out of the city, in Brooklyn, near Brighton Beach where your parents lived. You had taken four days off work to come dog sit your parents dog while they went on a 3-night spa getaway. You were walking Dolly, your parents' 4 year old French bulldog, through the all familiar streets of where you grew up. There was a farmers' market in town, so you headed there, Dolly leading the way. You picked up vegetables for a soup you were making later, some herbs and a whole bag of kiwis.

Making your way back to your parents' house, your mind drifted to where it always was these days, Eddie. You'd been speaking for a while now, and there was an itch at the back of your mind. You were holding back the urge to google him. It was natural, you though, you could then easily put a face to the voice you had been speaking with. Any normal person would hop straight on the internet when they find out they're talking to a celebrity, right?

You didn't want to be that girl, but you did wonder what kind of relationship you had with him. It's been what, like a month, you went from complete strangers to friends, to him coaxing you to an orgasm over the phone, to... what? You couldn't call him just a friend anymore, it felt more than that. Friends don't have phone sex, either. You had feelings for him, romantic ones. They were simmering, like hot soup under a lid. You didn't want to bring it up first too, asking the age old question - what are we? That would scare him off for sure.

You got back to the house just before it started drizzling rain. You removed your coat, hat and gloves then cleaned Dolly up and let her roam the house. You grabbed your purchases and made your way to the kitchen, where your phone was charging on the island. You saw that you had a message from Robin, multiple messages actually. You grabbed the device and unlocked it, swiping through her messages.

11.52am - Robin ''OMG you have no idea who I met this morning!''

11.52am - Robin ''I would call you but we're so busy today, I'm literally peeing right now so I could text you.''

11.52am - Robin ''EDDIE MUNSON was here, I can't believe it. I texted Cherry too, she's been here since 8am. Said she's gonna be here all day in the off chance he comes back. She wants a pic.''

11.52am - Robin ''Anyway, he's from that band we saw about a month ago. Really sexy up close!!''

You blinked, staring at the screen. You were only focused on two words, a name really. Eddie Munson... From a band. A musician, then. Your heart thumped in your chest. Was it him? You didn't really believe in silly coincidences. Finally breaking, you quickly pulled up the search bar and googled the name. A ton of pictures, videos, news articles popped up. You only intended on looking at pictures, you didn't mean to look at the news articles. But once you started, you fell down the rabbit hole, unable to get out.

Corroded Coffin star Eddie Munson seen leaving restaurant with Victoria's Secret model.

'Eddie Munson snorted coke off my ass' ex-girlfriend Madeline claims!

Corroded Coffin frontman leaving band? Manager denies claim!

You read through multiple articles, all accompanied with pictures of him. A woman next to him in every photo, tall, skinny, perfect skin. You didn't concentrate too much on the women, otherwise you'd only hurt your own feelings. You looked at him, marveling at different angles taken of him on stage, his long wild hair flipping in the air.

''Oh shit,'' you gasped as you remembered a few weeks ago, when he first called you. You had walked by a poster of him without even knowing who it was. But looking at the pictures on your phone, you knew it was your Eddie. You felt it in your bones.

You went to Youtube and searched his name there too. You noticed a late night interview he had done, uploaded just last week. You clicked on it and watched the whole thing. You felt strange watching him like this. He wasn't just some faceless fantasy you had developed feelings for, he was real. He talked animatedly with the host, talking about their tour.

''Yeah, we're super excited. Very grateful to be playing Madison Square Garden next week, two shows. It's wild.''

Madison Square Garden? New York? Next week - this week, then? This was the first time you were hearing about any of this. It was already the middle of the week. You went to Instagram, searched up Corroded Coffins account (surprisingly, you didn't find Eddie's personal account) and clicked on it. There was a new picture uploaded, just an hour ago. Eddie was standing in front of the arena's entrance, his back facing the camera. And there he was, in your city, without telling you.

You took a deep breath. It's fine, it's only the afternoon. He's probably busy. You followed the account and looked through their stories. There was a reposted story of someone else's, it was a picture of a girl holding two tickets. What caught you off guard, however, was the caption of the photo.

''Thanks for the VIP tickets Eddie! Can't wait to see you tonight!!''

Then you noticed the girl's username and it seemed familiar. It clicked to you that it was the same Madeline you read about earlier, his ex then.

Your stomach dropped. He hasn't mentioned anything to you about being in New York, but invites his ex to go see him, probably backstage too. God knows if they were even broken up, you certainly wouldn't know. You felt betrayed, stupid for not being cautious enough. You believed every word he had said, never having a reason to doubt he might be lying about anything. Were you just some distraction for him? Was he just pulling you along because he was bored? Maybe this is why he was hesitant to reveal who he was, maybe he was scared you would find out who he was and catch on to him.

Just as you felt tears of frustration pool in your eyes, he texted you, almost like he could sense something was wrong.

13.01pm - Eddie ''Hey Kiwi girl, how are you? Miss you!''

Frustrated that he could still make your stomach turn upside down, you called Robin instead.

''Hey babe, called at just the right time, I just went on lunch. It's a madhouse today. Did you see what I texted you by the way?'' Robin rambled on the other side.

''Yeah.. I know him.''

''What? No, you don't. You don't listen to that kind of music.''

''Rob, I know him. He's the guy I've been texting,'' you admitted.

''What?!'' she shrieked. ''When? How?''

You sighed, dropping onto the living room couch, bringing your legs underneath you. ''I just found out myself. He told me his name was Eddie and that he was a musician but that's all I knew. I just put the pieces together when you texted.''

''That's insane!'' Robin replied, her words muffled as she was crunching on something. ''Are you going to meet him, then? Are they playing a show?''

''Yeah, tomorrow. He didn't even tell me he was coming, though...''

''Really? That's strange. I thought you said you liked him.''

''Yeah, I do! I don't think he feels the same,'' you swallowed the lump in your throat. ''I found out he sent his ex some tickets though.''

''No fucking way,'' your best friend noted.

''Way.''

''Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding,'' she offered tenderly.

''Pff, or maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe I was an idiot, like always.''

''Hey! You are not an idiot. If everything you said is true then he is a scumbag and I'm on your side, always. I can let Cherry know, too. She'll probably pepper spray him the next time she sees him.''

''I don't condone that, but thanks,'' you chuckled, picking at the woolly fabric of the armrest.

''What if you just asked him about it?''

''I don't know,'' you dragged out the words, letting Dolly hop on the couch and snuggle up to you. ''What makes you think he'd tell the truth?''

''Would he have a reason to lie?'' she asked.

''No? I'm not sure.''

''See - that's why you have to find out! You don't even know what's going on but you're already jumping to conclusions. That's not fair to him either.''

''Why do you always have to make so much sense?'' you sighed, feeling guilty that you had assumed things too quickly. Maybe she was right, Eddie had mentioned things being written about him in the tabloids. Most of the times, the media grasps onto any straw they can, whether it be true or false. You couldn't allow yourself to fall into that trap. ''So I just tell him I figured out who he is?''

''Might as well. How long can you guys keep this anonymity up, anyway.''

''That's true,'' you quipped, deep in thought. ''What did he order today, by the way?''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie was nervous. He sent you that text five hours ago and you had yet to reply. You hadn't even opened it. It's unusual for you to not reply for this long, Eddie was starting to get worried. Had something happened to you? He's been trying to buy plane tickets for Wayne for about an hour now, without luck as he keeps getting distracted. He decided to take a break when he typed in his email address incorrectly, three times. He had a list of things he was supposed to get done today, but so far he had managed to do nothing. He needed to pick out an outfit for tomorrow's show, he had to ask someone to get him a new pair of contacts because he lost his, get tickets for Wayne obviously.

Just as he was about to send you another text, you called him. He picked up instantly.

''Y/N, hey. I was getting worried.''

''Sorry, I was... I was actually ignoring you.''

Confused, Eddie sat up straighter. ''Why? Did I do something wrong, did I say something to upset you?''

''No, it's actually what you didn't do,'' you sing-songed in response. ''Enjoy that eclair today, Eddie?''

Time stilled, the Earth ceased rotating, Eddie stopped breathing. ''H-how do you know about that?''

''My best friend Robin told me,'' you said matter-of-factly. Eddie almost dropped his phone. This wasn't happening. Robin? Rob!? He couldn't believe he didn't put two and two together this morning, even as it was staring at him right in the face. He was there, where you worked. He talked to your best friend. Eddie felt like he was in that movie The Lakehouse, where the two characters were at the same place, but at a different time.

''You didn't tell me you were playing at the Garden tomorrow,'' you teased him but he could also hear the note of sadness.

''I'm sorry,'' he blurted out, ''I meant to tell you, I swear! It's just... You're so good and I didn't think you would be interested in me, apart from this,'' he gestured to the phone as if somehow you could see it, but you still seemed to catch on.

''Oh, Eddie. That's not true. Look, I can't lie to you. I did google you after Robin called me and said that the famous Eddie Munson came by.''

Not gonna lie, his full name sounded heavenly coming from you. He was relieved, mostly, that now you knew everything. He didn't have to hold back anymore.

''And I saw some things, for sure. Did you really snort cocaine off of someone's ass?''

''Oh my fucking God,'' he groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. ''That is the worst rumor I've ever heard about myself. I definitely didn't, you can trust me on that.''

''Okay,'' you giggled and Eddie felt lighter already. ''But, um, would you like to meet, then? It's okay if you don't, there's-''

''Yes.''

''Oh, okay, good,'' now you were the one who sounded nervous, breathing uneven into the microphone.

''Can you come to the show tomorrow? I'd see you right fucking now if I could, but today won't work out for me. I can put your name on a list, you just say it at the door and they'll let you in.''

''Yeah, I can do that.''

He smiled, biting his bottom lip. ''Can't wait, sweetheart.''

''If you think you're off the hook that easy, Eddie Munson, think again.''

Wiped that smile right off his face.

''What are you doing right now?'' you asked.

''Uh, nothing, just at my hotel room.''

''Good, can you lay down on the bed for me, pretty boy?''

Shit.

Eddie followed your command and laid down, resting his head against the soft pillows, his legs splayed wide on the bed.

''Now I want you to take out your cock and stroke it 'til it's hard,'' you instructed, voice smooth as honey. ''I saw pictures of you, you're real pretty, Eds.''

Eddie whimpered at the compliment, his cheeks flushing. He switched his phone so he could push his sweatpants down, just enough so he could free his already half hard member. Spitting in his hand, he wrapped his fist around himself, pulling on it slowly, smearing his spit all over the head.

''Such a good boy, I can already hear it. Does that feel good?''

''Y-yeah,'' Eddie's hips bucked as he ran his fist up and down, gripping tightly at the base and then running back up again, brushing his thumb over the slit, pre-cum dripping.

''Keep going, tell me how good it feels.''

''So good,'' his chest heaving, bolts of pleasure shooting up his veins, he continued to pump himself. ''Wish it was your hand instead, o-or your mouth or pussy, fuck.''

''What about my ass, Eddie? Would you fuck my asshole too if I asked?''

''Jesusss...''

''Tell me when you're close,'' you moaned out, just to stir him on.

''I'm about two seconds away from busting.''

''Stop!'' you barked.

''What? What happened?''

''Oh, you don't get to cum. Take that as your punishment,'' your evil laugh ranged through the phone.

''Fuck, you're mean,'' he groaned, fisting the sheets below him to stop himself from going back to his cock. ''I hope this isn't too forward, but I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tomorrow.''

.•♫•♬•

The day is here, finally you would meet Eddie. This whole thing has been fast, you admit, it's only been a month or so. Somehow that didn't scare you, like you thought it might. You were buzzing with excitement, even a little nauseous. You were a little anxious as well, it always made your tummy sensitive, so you had a small breakfast that morning.

Robin had agreed to come watch Dolly while you were away, probably dragging Cherry along, too. The day seemed to drag on and on. Robin promised to be there an hour before you had to leave to hype you up - that's what she said.

You didn't sleep last night, thinking how tonight will go. You weren't so much nervous to meet him, you already know what he looks like, who he is. What tugged at the back of your mind was, what would he think of you. You didn't look anything like the girls he had been pictured with. You didn't think you were ugly either, you were just... you. Would you be enough?

When you decide it was time to get ready, you showered and shaved every inch of your body, Eddie's promise last night very fresh in your mind, still. Since you didn't expect to go to a rock concert tonight, your outfit would have to do with whatever you packed. You were torn between a skirt or pants. Figuring the atmosphere would most likely be.. heavy, you went with the safe option of your black jeans. You matched them with a graphic tee, paired with shiny black Dr. Martens boots. Make up simple, as again, you didn't prepare for this and didn't have time to make a stop at home - mascara, some powder, a nude gloss.

Robin knocked on the front door just as you were screwed the cap back on your lipgloss. You let her in, Cherry following behind just as you thought. ''You look bomb, but just so you know, I would much rather be at the show than babysit some smushed face baby seal.''

As if Cherry had blown a dog whistle, Dolly appeared from the living room and trotted right up to her. ''Oh, hiii.''

You rolled your eyes in amusement. ''Your girlfriend is weird.''

Robin pulled you into a hug. ''She's just upset she can't go to the show. But I told her we're helping with the love story of the century and she caved. Cherry loves love.''

''Don't be dramatic,'' you huffed.

You walked Robin through the basics about Donna, what and how much to feed her, when she wants to go outside. Cherry was meanwhile busy rubbing baby seal's belly.

You slipped on your jacket and said your goodbyes, Robin wishing you good luck and hopped in your car. The drive back only took about 20 minutes, but it was enough time to fill your body with nerves. It took a few minutes to find a parking space, but you were lucky as you found one pretty close to the building. People were already lined up, but it looked like the line was moving at a normal pace, the doors were already open. You followed in line with others, seeing the entrance up ahead, Corroded Coffin's name on the billboard above it in big bold letters. You got to the front considerably quickly, the security guard asking for your ticket.

''Um, I'm supposed to be on the list, I think.'' You told him your name and the guy scanned his tablet, then nodded and let you through after taking a quick glance at your crossbody purse.

The floor was open plan, seating only on the upper floors. You made your way somewhere to the left hand side, as the first floor was already full of people. It was a bit far, but you could still see the stage. The microphones were already lined up, drum set at the back of the stage. It was 5 minutes until the opening act, when you got a text.

21.55pm - Eddie ''Are you here?''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Yes.''

21.56pm - Eddie ''What are you wearing? ;)''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Idiot.''

After a couple minutes, the lights went out and the opening act took to the stage, to a lukewarm reception. The band was alright, you guessed, you had never heard of them obviously. You bobbed your head to some of the songs, even took a few pictures. The set went by quick and now you only had to wait 30 more minutes for the main act, to the one you were here for.

By the time it was time for the main event, more people had filled the arena and now you were pretty squished, girls and guys on every side of you. You squeezed past some people, looking for more room at the back. You found a big enough space and settled there. The lights went out again and this time, the crowd roared. Music started playing and the drummer came out first, followed by three other guys a minute later. There he was, in all of his glory, guitar strapped over his shoulder. He smirked at the crowd and hit the first note on his guitar, followed by the high pitch eruption of women in the audience.

The show started, and though this music was not your prefered genre, you were absolutely mesmerized. Eddie's stage presence was magnetic, he owned the the entire arena. All eyes were on him as he strummed different notes and flipped his hair around, screaming, singing and even moaning into the microphone. People yelled, jumped, pushed around. Not to mention the mosh pit in the middle of the floor.

As Eddie sang the songs, his eyes kept looking around. Was he looking for you? You wanted to scoot closer, but it was impossible. The crowd was wild even at the back, you couldn't even imagine what was happening at the barricade.

They played for more than an hour. As the show came to a close, you clapped and cheered just like everybody else. He was amazing, the band was amazing. They all bowed, the bassist threw his picks at the girls in front of him. Eddie thanked the audience, his voice tired and raspy and so sexy. ''Hey Kiwi girl, come find me.''

You blushed, though nobody knew he was talking about you. You waited a while, watching the crowd slowly pushing out, before you had any room to made to the front. You made it to the barricade and and called another security guard over.

''Hi, I think I'm supposed to go backstage.'' You told him your name and that you had an invite from Eddie himself. He took a sceptic look at you and spoke something into his walkie talkie before ushering you closer and helping you over the railing.

He asked you to follow him and lead the way from the stage through a door, into a long corridor. Your ears were ringing from the loud music and your heart was doing flips. ''It's the last door to the left.''

You thanked the guard and he left. You took a deep breath and walked to the door, raising your hand to know, but the door flew open before you had the chance.

''Oh, sorry. Are you looking for someone?'' a guy, who you recognized as the drummer, asked. His face was all sweaty and he was holding a towel in his hand. There was commotion coming from the room and you looked over his shoulder, your breath hitching as you saw Eddie sitting on a sofa.

But he wasn't alone, far from it. Sitting next to him was the same girl, Madeline, her arms on his shoulders. Kissing him.

.•♫•♬•

tags: @hellfirewhore @ceriseheaven @feralgoblinbabe @ethereal27cereal @mystars123 @munsonsuccubus @alizztor @tlclick73 @nojamsonmytoast @b-irock @harringtonshairychest @hellkaisersangel @mcueveryday @other-world-s @santheweird @nightless @hiscrimsonangel @ali-r3n @latenighttalkingwithgrapejuice @tayhar811 @sarawithasword @eddiesluvt @maddieluvseddie @hellfires-harlot @dollalicia @donnavivienne @ashlynnkennedy @dumbblonde1630 @sanzu-holic @dontslayfay @eddieswife16 @bebe0701 @ganjababie @sidthedollface2 @brittanyyydamnit @lezzy-bennet @bibliophilewednesday @qcueef @rogers-sweatbands @christalcake @episcogoth @beep-beep-sherlock @milkymil-k

[pomplalamoose]

Ooohhh how about different eras of luke (ROTJ is my fav if doing one is easier) and maybe some modern dilf!luke 👀 reacting to you laying your head on his shoulder when you’re tired or have a headache pre-relationship?

Anonnn, you don't understand, I'm obsessed with this ask. I just HAD to do every single Luke era plus the Dilf AU as the cherry on top because it's been so long since I last wrote something wholesome😩

also it reminds me of the posts I used to do when I first started writing and ngl I'm feeling a little nostalgic

• sweet ANH Luke with his open smile and honest eyes is so easy to approach and befriend, resting your head on his shoulder comes almost naturally

• though unbeknownst to you he'd immediately be on the brink to loose his mind

• already he tends to be a little jittery with nerves whenever you randomly appear in the same room he is in

• even more so now that he's finally admitted his major crush on you to himself

• so just imagine his excitement the moment you decide to sit next to him

• as soon as your head touches his shoulder he goes bright red and doesn't dare to move in fear of accidentally shooing you away, his heart beating wildly in his chest

• for a slight moment he forgets how to breathe, though it's not like he minds

• this is the best day of his life

• not only does he finally get to feel the warmth of having you so close by his side, but also your soft hair aginst his cheek if he dares to tilt his head just a little bit

• when eventually he manages to somewhat normalize his breathing, his thoughts will start to wander

• he's SO proud you're clearly comfortable and feeling safe with him

• but should he strike up a conversation? Ask how you're doing? If everything's okay?

• maybe he could make you laugh

• your hands look so soft; what if he were to reach out and just take them in his?

• would you mind?

• he's not sure, his aren't as pretty and smooth as yours

• you smell very nice

• wouldn't your current position make you look like a couple to an outsider passing by?

• what if, and he feels very bold just considering, but, what if you...like him?

• quickly enough he has a very hard time remaining calm

• and how could he? He needs to tell someone about this RIGHT NOW

• good luck trying to catch ESB Luke sitting still for even once

• though should you be as lucky to catch him during a moment of rest and manage to lean on him, he'll feel similarly as ANH Luke; excited, a little nervous even, though not as much as his younger self would have been

• still he has to fight off the blush rising into his cheeks and will absolutely deny ever changing colors should someone (especially Leia, Han or even R2) point it out

• at the same time he wishes for as many as possible to witness this very monumental moment, hoping everyone will see that you're leaning on HIS shoulder

• HIS!

• yeah that's right! In your face, (add in name of random rebellion member that also takes an interest in you)!!!

• if he's feeling extra bold, he may use the chance to put an arm around your shoulder

• but very carefully so; he's afraid to overstep any of your boundaries

• after all he's not sure if you'd even like to be held

• there's only one problem: how is he supposed to do anything now?

• he has places to be, things to do, an Empire to fight!

• he's getting kind of warm too

• more than that actually

• Force, are you hiding a heater under all of your layers of clothing?

• also he just remembered; isn't there a meeting he has to attend?

• shouldn't he be working to improve his x-wing?

• he'll check on you out of the corner of his eye, trying to get a feeling for how long you plan to stay like this

• he needs to come up with a way to notify the others of his delay

• because there's no way he's moving even a single muscle

• he's not leaving you behind

• he simply can't!

• not when he was just chosen as your designated spot to rest your pretty but, admittedly, very heavy head

• but not to worry, of course he can handle it!

• he'll be here as long as you need him to be

• RotJ and post RotJ Luke is hard to keep tabs on and thus hard to find

• all you can hope for is to encounter him by pure chance, as he seems to simply have evaporated whenever you wander around searching for him

• though despite his withdrawn ways he's always welcoming and inviting should you happen upon him

• he, above anyone else, understands the importance of rest during a busy day

• he smiles mildly to himself as soon as you settle down and scoot close enough for your arms to touch

• the emotions you are unconsciously emitting, may it be nervousness, excitement or shyness, amuse him a great deal and he's keen to see whether you'll overcome them this time or not

• I don't think he'd tell you outright that he enjoys your presence, that it tends to calm him down and to ease his mind, until much later

• but despite what he is or isn't saying he can't help but feel a little warm inside whenever you come across him during the day

• despite that he can never not worry at least a little bit about your well-being and immediately feels the need to check in on you either with words or a gentle probe with the Force to make sure you're okay

• if he has the time to stay with you for a while he asks if you'd like to lay down

• see, he can shuffle to the side a little and then you could rest your head on his thigh instead of on his shoulder

• wouldn't that be more comfortable?

• he doesn't have a blanket in case you're cold, but maybe you could use his cloak?

• it's not the best, maybe a little rough and still a little dirty from his last trip as he didn't have the time to wash it yet, but it does a good job of keeping a person warm

• he doesn't show how happy he is should you follow his invite and agree to rest beside him, though maybe Leia would notice

• and possibly so would you by how he'd start to absentmindedly stroke your head and play with your hair whenever others are around to keep him properly distracted

• I think Dilf!Luke's reaction would really depend on the current situation/ on how far your relationship has already developed at that point

• here it's important to note though that he'd never tell you off or send you away for initiating contact, not even after just recently getting to know you

• yes he's standoffish and withdrawn, cold in demeanor, seemingly displeased with your presence in his house

• but when it comes down to it he is kind, always has been, even if he hides it away to protect himself

• his behavior towards you is nothing personal; the emotions you call forth are his to deal with

• he may try to at first but ultimately knows deep down that he can't hold you accountable for how his past still troubles him

• he's a father, deeply caring in nature

• no matter what, he could never bring himself to deny anyone his child's age comfort

• though he might be a little confused about why you chose him, of all people, to rest your head on

• after all it's not like he's been going out of his way to be peculiarly inviting or nice - quite the contrary actually

• he'll remain very still for the duration of your vicinity, involuntarily stiffening not only out of surprise but because it's been so long that anyone outside of his immediate family initiated intimacy

• he's so touch starved, so used to rarely feeling a person's warmth, that your simple act catches him off guard

• suddenly he has no idea what to do, how to continue on after

• for your own good and his child's sake he wants to keep you at an arm's length and yet...

• if he wasn't enamored with you before, he is so now

• he thinks back to those moments of doubt and insecurity frequently

• but where they once haunted him, they now serve as a reminder for how far he's come and what he was able to finally leave behind

• he's proud of himself too, yes, but most of all to call you his

• every little touch of yours, and may it be one as innocent as laying your head on his shoulder, fills him with joy

• never, in a thousand years, would he once have believed to be in a position to reciprocate your gentle displays of trust and affection

• but now that he can, now that everything feels a little less like a dream, it's all he wants to do

• (and he does)

• (forehead kisses are his favorite way to, he can't help it)

• (not when you placed yourself so conveniently)

[icarusignite]

Master Post

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Hey, Ace here, hope you have a good time on my page!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ (she/her), Ravenclaw, INTJ, fanfic writer of many fandoms, self-taught artist, kpop/anime enthusiast, feminist, procrastinator extraordinaire.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Tiktok/wattpad/AO3/instagram: ace_asterisk

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ AO3 | Wattpad | Carrd

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Fandoms I write for

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ for writing updates: @icarusignite-fics

(all fics are reblogged onto there)

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Requests: OPEN

House of the Dragon

Series

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ An Eye for an Eye Masterlist (Aemond Targaryen x OC)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Before the Sky Falls Masterlist (Aemond Targaryen x OC)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ For Whom the Bell Tolls | HOTD World War 2 AU

(Soldier! Aemond Targaryen x Nurse! Reader)

Oneshots

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I hate you I love you (Cregan Stark x Fem! Reader)

The five times you told Cregan Stark you hated him, and the one time you actually meant it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I want to fly with you on dragonback (and eat only cake) (Alicent x Rhaenyra)

Basically the title. Rhaenyra finally gets to take Alicent on that dragon ride and eat cake....and maybe kiss the girl she loves.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Like an old melody, my heart resumes (Daeron x Fem! Reader)

Parts: 1 / 2  / 3

After years apart and with several misunderstandings between them, you meet Prince Daeron at what is meant to be his betrothal feast. When secrets and unspoken desires come to light, you and Daeron are faced with a choice: to let go of the past and embrace a love that has always burned between them or allow your tumultuous history to keep you apart.

The Last Kingdom

Oneshots

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you

(King Alfred x POC! Fem! Reader)

Parts: 1 / 2

You are a prominent scholar from Baghdad, visiting Wessex to learn more about English culture and try to help its ailing monarch with your medical expertise. However, conflict arises when you find yourself falling for the Catholic king, knowing he cannot give you what you deserve.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Valhalla Bound  (Finan x GN! Reader)

During the ransacking of Rumcofa, you save Osferth thus exchanging his fate for yours. aka you die and Finan's reaction to that

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Night Terrors (Sihtric x GN! Reader) 

Sihtric has a nightmare, and he accidentally snaps at you. What comes after is the most awkward confession of his life and you are oblivious af.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Praying's just a poor man's way of begging 

(Sihtric x Fem! Reader) 

You are Earl Ragnar's youngest daughter and the boy you've spent many pleasant afternoons with as a child was none other than Sihtric Kjartansson. Reunited after years apart, will the two of you be able to face the truth of your feelings or will it all end in heartache?

In this labyrinth of time, our souls entwined

(Modern AU Finan x Fem! Reader)

Finan and his friends witness a bar fight during their night out and Finan feels a magnetic connection to the hero of the fight. This can be read on its own but it can also be seen as a continuation of my earlier fic Valhalla Bound where you died and now your reincarnation meets Finan's in another world and that's why you seem so familiar.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Go ahead and cry, little girl (Aethelstan x Fem! Reader)

You are Sihtric’s daughter from his first wife. Your mother dies after he leaves her for his current wife and you blame him for his death. Aethelstan is yoiur dearest childhood friend.

Ateez

Series

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Danse Macabre Masterlist (Jeong Yunho x OC)

Oneshots

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Pirate Ateez Masterlist

Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Oneshots

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I don't want your sympathy (i just want myself back)

(Luke Castellan x GN! Child of Hypnos Reader)

Terribly injured after returning from his quest to the Garden of Hesperides, Luke Castellan turns to the only person who can help him sleep.

Criminal Minds

Oneshots

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Steady Your Heart in Mine (Spencer Reid x GN! Reader)

Exam season brings you a lot of stress and Spencer Reid is there to walk you through it. Established relationship, descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks.

Lockwood & Co.

Oneshots

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I thought I dreamed her (Lucy x Lockkwood)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I love you forever, I'm not a dreamer (Lucy x Lockwood)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes:

Series

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ These Violent Delights Masterlist

[muzicgenerator]

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

[bvbyacid-666]

𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕞𝕤

Reminiscing on the Day you met the one and only druig

Warnings: None

Originally Written: 04/08/2024

Word Count: 645

“ You know it’s rude to stare right?”

You and druig were currently sitting under the tall trees of the amazon rainforest, admiring the billions of stars that resided above you. Well at least you were, it seemed as if druig decided to admire something else. 

“ Does my staring make you nervous, darling?”

Turning to face his narrowed eyes, you looked him up and down. Unable to think of a quick witty response that would match the multitude of his own. 

Laughing and turning away from him is the only thing that broke the intense silence between the two of you. No matter how many centuries had passed, druig was still able to make you laugh like the first time you met. 

5000 B.C: Mesopotamia

After protecting the locals from the deviants and essentially saving their lives, the eternals had split up, exploring the lands in which the locals occupied. 

You sat at the edge of the ground, where the waves crashing against met with the main rocks that littered the shore. The serene sound of the water crashing against the rocks created a sort of peace inside you, letting you calm down from the adrenaline high of fighting those deviants.

You heard his footsteps before you saw him. He still adorned his black suit that didn’t disappoint in showing off his muscles. He sat down next to you, not close enough in which your bodies were touching but close enough in which you could practically feel the heat emitting from your body. 

“What’s a beautiful lady like you sitting down here all by her lonesome?”

“ Am I not allowed to have some time to myself?”

“No, I just thought a beauty like you would prefer to be within the thick of the welcoming activities.”

“ Well lucky for me, I'm not that kind of girl.”

Turning to finally face him you could finally see the face of the man that had mysteriously wandered over to you. 

His face looked like it had been carved by Zeus himself, with not a single imperfection present and his eyes looking like the same waves you had watched for the past hour, clashing against each other in a sequence that could only be described as serene. 

It seemed as if you had gotten yourself lost in those very eyes, with him suddenly turning towards you with a questioning look on his face.

“Sorry did you say something?”

‘It’s alright beautiful. I was just introducing myself, my name’s druig”

He even had a perfect name.

“My names Y/N”

“Well it’s lovely to meet you darling”

Simultaneously as he said that he took your hand and pressed a light kiss to the centre of the back of your palm, making it feel like a touch from the gods themselves.

Flushed with embarrassment, you turned away from him. Deciding staring back out at the waves would give you less of an opportunity to embarrass yourself.

After several minutes the guilt of seemingly turning around and ignoring him seeped in. Deciding to try to climb out of whatever hole you’ve already dug yourself into, you agree that trying to strike up a conversation is probably your best bet at not perceiving yourself as some self indulgent asshole to this guy.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“It sure is.”

Turning around to face the man, you came face to face with his eyes looking straight into yours.

“You idiot, you weren’t even looking at it”

“I know, i was looking at something much more beautiful”

Laughing to shield the bashfulness that his bold statement has caused you, you can’t believe that such a man could say something on your first encounter.

“Is that seriously your way of flirting? Because if it is, it really sucks”

“Maybe, but does it work?”

“Maybe”

You didn’t realise then but that was the start of everything for you.

[bi-hop]

coming back to the kabru is like jesus if he was judas comparison. I think it's interesting that kabru always knew that he couldn't be the one to conquer the dungeon so he wanted to find people who could and support them, because he knows he's an excellent judge of character.

but the thing is, he still wants to be the hero. he still has a saviour complex. he's still envious that laios of all people is the one who has the potential to beat the mage. i think he wanted to be the one™ in some way . he *needed* to be needed by laios, he wanted to be like hermes, a psychopomp, or maybe charon, the ferryman that guides laios. so when laios /ignored/ him (not laios' fault truly he just . bad timing. sorry kabru) he felt resentful and yet even more determined to get in laios' orbit, to be the light. to be important in his eyes, like, judas when he said to the woman who used expensive oil to clean jesus ' feet. he said "why not just give it to the poor?" because he wanted praise. he wanted his teacher to look at him and go "look, i listened to you! i know what you teach!"

thats why laios rubbed off on him and he used a nutrition metaphor even because hes like. he wants to be jesus (the one to sacrifice himself and save the world from the dungeons to prevent another utaya) but hes judas (the adversary. the supporter from the shadows. the one who shows the soldiers (canaries) who jesus is. the one who " reported " him in the first place)

anyway yeah I think he has. a Jesus complex and when he met Laios he got mad with envy because he realized he was Judas help me

this is so good, turning it over in my head.

an element of kabru's character that grabbed me early on and is reinforced as he begins to bet on laios is his preoccupation with morality. people complain about the murder (bc people are lame BUT I DIGRESS!) but don't typically focus on the justifications he gives. even without knowing about the demon's nature, he is able to understand that greed and violence will only beget more of the same as those who can adapt will turn worse and those who cannot will be exploited or flee. for him, it's like ripping out weeds from a garden to protect what he cherishes.

I agree that he feels very self-critical when he finally admits that he can't be the knight in shining armor that he wants to be, due to his inability to survive as long as he wants in the dungeon. even without the motivation of going back to save falin, laios and his party had already went further on a regular basis than he has.

(shake me if I'm remembering wrong, but when we first meet kabru's party, isn't it one of their first times ever successfully making it to the third floor? lmao.)

and so the point to me was always that, yes, kabru wants to be the guy and yes, his party supports him as the guy, but realistically? he'd need someone else to at the very least support him. but he's very practical so it made immediate sense to me that he'd start looking for someone who he can either trust to take on the role or who is capable enough to get to a point where kabru could then take over. (again, all pre-finding out what being a dungeon lord truly means)

despite the latter being an option though, kabru's preoccupation with morality still stands. if he was truly the cold rational being some people seem to see him as, it would have been simple to simply throw his lot in with the first strong yet horrible person he observed. but he's picky selective. even with laios as his choice, he's CONSTANTLY fighting The Demons about it. his nightmare alone makes it clear that he has extremely well-rooted doubts and fears about what laios might do.

^ funniest page ever to me btw

but despite that, he still continually does the work of supporting him, albeit with a lot of setbacks and complications OADSJDODSOJD

i don't necessarily think the lens that we're currently taking is what ryoko intended but to conclude it is funny the themes of betrayal because technically kabru does betray laios' trust once lycion's like "ayo, he hates monster food btw, he's a SNAKE" and then he fumbles his way into... sort of regaining it? kinda? of course, by post-canon, he has it fully back, but speaking exclusively of the main story here.

[vocalcalibration]

Silver and Blaze need their own game.

This is a topic I, like many Sonic fans, have given a lot of thought. Ignoring for a moment that these two haven't been playable in an official capacity outside of mobile games and spinoffs since... Black Knight? Does that count? The potential for story and gameplay with these two in particular is massive!

Story:

Frankly the plot pretty much writes itself. But let me explain what I specifically had in mind. The story would start with Silver in a burning city he does not recognize. Crisis city would serve as the opening level to the game. At the end of it Silver would be surrounded by monsters and attacked by Iblis before waking up in his home, this is a nightmare he's been having for weeks now. We would then transition to Silver's second level where he runs and glides through the floating islands of his current future. Why floating islands? Because floating islands are cool. We'd meet some new characters who, establish him a little bit of his own supporting cast, that is until a portal opens up and a shadowy individual pulls Silver throufh it.

From here we cut to Blaze who is rather unenthusiastically attending to paper work before someone comes in and informs her someone fell from a portal in the sky. This would star Blaze's first level with her navigating the jungles and beaches of her home island, before coming across an unconcious Silver whom she brings back to the castle. While he's resting the same shadowy figure emerges in the city unleashing monsters onto the townsfolk which Blaze then deals with for her second level in her capital city. After this Silver wakes up and the two exchange notes, with Silver agreeing to stick around so they can figure out what's happening.

From here we can spend time both experiencing visions of 06's future, chasing the new villain through both the sol dimension and Silver's future, and realizing the bizarre connection the two of them seem to share might be more than just weirdly good chemistry.

For some further explanation on my choices here.

I'm building the story as a followup to 06 for a number of reasons. For one it's the game that established them as a duo so if we have a game with the two of them naturally we're going to pull from it.

The series keeps alluding to their 06 partner ship as well. The above is a Colors DS screenshot in which they directly reference their time in 06. Sonic generations has the two both found in the crisis city portion of the hub and has them standing next to each other whenever they're in a cutscene. And they're often paired together in the IDW comic books.

Which is in no way a coincidence. Most of all however is that Blaze's place in 06 is, to this day, one of the biggest unexplained questions in Sonic's lore. Why was she in original timelines future? Why was she so okay with killing Sonic if she was Rush Blaze? If she's not Rush Blaze why does she have such nice clothes in the apocolypse? All questions we've never gotten a proper explanation for.

There's also the fact that I think finally tackling 06 head on would be healthy for the series future. The games impacts on the franchise are undeniable and can be felt to this day. For a while they seemed to live in permanent fear of the game, like it would come back and haunt if they said it's name too many times. Then we had the self flogging era where they "got in" on the joke. Nowadays they seem more comfortable referencing the game in a more matter of fact way, but finally ripping off the bandaid and just acknowledging the game outright in canon may be how they finally put it to rest. In service to that the ending could have Silver and Blaze choosing not to allow whatever past life they had define them, instead focusing on the now and what they can do for it.

Some character stuff you could do could be maybe Silver, due to the events of 06 is cut off from the time line. Everytime he visitis Sonic and co in the past his future is slightly different, the people he does and doesn't know change, but he remains the same. His memories aren't altered to match the current future and so he finds himself in a world of strangers, part of why he spends so much time in the past as Sonic and the others recognize him and he feels like he actually has a place there, but feels as though it's selfish on his part to stay and alter the timeline even more. Meanwhile Blaze could find herself worn out due to her responsibilities as princess, the expectations that weigh on her and finds herself longing for the excitement and adventure she felt with Sonic during their time together. Or something like that, I'm just spitballing here.

We could also reintroduce Marine as a proper "Tails" to Blaze's "Sonic", taking a page (heh) out of the IDW books by having her be much more mature and concientious of her duties in a squire-esk position.

Granted IDW might have over done it JUST little, at least with the tiny bit we see her, so maybe have her keep a bit of that energetic and cocky attitude from Rush Adventure, just toned down a little. You could show her more developed as mechanic, having pick up things from Tails and due to her own practice and training. Also make all her Australian slang incomprehensible to Silver because that would be funny.

Gameplay:

Right out the gate I want the game to be based on the open zone formula of Frontiers, it's the direction I want the series to stick going forward, no more pulling a Sonic Team and jumping ship to a radically different gameplay style for seemingly no reason again. With that said I think I'd like to see it refined a fair bit. Instead of several open zones we have two much larger open areas featuring multiple biomes through which you access the various levels. The Sol dimension would be the first open zone, with the main island and various smaller island surrounding it. Water vehicles from rush adventure could return and exploring would have a bit of a wind waker vibe, sailing from place to place. It wouldn't be as intrusive as Rush Adventure, instead of being their own segments it'd be real time vehicles you can get in and out of whenever and all the major islands would have fast travel points once discovered.

The other open zone would be the same structure, albeit with two main islands connected via bridges surrounded by smaller ones, except they'd, again, be floating in the air and you'd travel via air vehicles. I guess like Skywar Sword... huh.

Blaze would serve as a more traditional Sonic gameplay experience, high speed platforming and action. Specifically base her moveset on 06 Blaze, which featured a double jump, homing attack and grounded fire tornado attack, while also adding in her fire spindash and hover from Rush. Her combat would resemble Sonic's frontiers combat in the open zone, of course with a focus on her pyro-kinesis for her abilities. To put in fighting game terms, she's be a true rush down character with some light projectile stuff.

Silver would be slower. Now let me be clear, Not slow, slower. He'd still move at a good clip but would be outpaced by Blaze easily. In place of that his levels would be more platforming and puzzle focussed. Silver wouldn't ball jump or homing attack, like 06, but he'd have hover, a high jump and a psycho slash move which kept his momentum so as to not slow him down. Also while Blaze would have something closer to the Unleashed-Forces boost, which damages enemies, Silver would have the non-damaging frontiers boost. His combat would be much more projectile heavy, with psycho-kinetic blasts and slashes and aoe attacks. Maybe also some kind of psycho mine that when activated holds ebemies in place? I think it'd be cool. Again in fighting game terms, a zoner/trap character with some light melee and grappling options.

In the open zones you could switch between the two freely, including mid-combo, to tackle the various combat and platforming challenges and puzzles. For levels there are a few options. You could have dedicated levels for both character, the advantage there being that you can taylor each level to their specific abilities. Maybe even take something from Forces Sonic/Avatar stages with select levels using both of them. Alternatively you could have every level accessible by both but with different paths they can take based on abilities. Or you could have it so you can swap freely mid level, kinda' like Sonic Heroes. They all have benefits and drawbacks and I can't really say which one is definitively the best choice.

But now we reach the end of my essay... thing. Thanks for reading. Also all art were taken from official sources including Sega and IDW. Ttfn. Tuh tuh for now.

[madhattervanessa]

Kill You To Try (Chapter 3)

-

Summary: Weeks go by and eventually, the numbness of grief forces you back to the ranch. You're caught between two chairs.

Warnings: self harm-ish things, isolation

Words: 2109

prev. Chapter - next Chapter

Series Masterlist

A/N: So sorry for the late chapter guys, I'm currently struggling with a uni project that got completely dismissed by my prof and some other life stuff - I might edit this chapter a little next week but I didn't want to leave you guys without anything :)

-

You must have fallen asleep,... again. The porch chair, despite its rotten-looking wood, offers a charming comfort. That, combined with the look out towards the water providing just enough ambient sounds, has continuously proven to make you drift off. 

It's not like you could actively remember the past few weeks.

The dust you had whirled up into the air more than a week ago now has settled again, nestling into the crooks of the wood and the dried lavender you had hung above the window of the kitchen. It had been a measly attempt at smoothing out the musky scent of the settling wood beams and the peaty soil underneath. 

Now that you've grown accustomed to it... the days are flying by. 

Mainly because you keep staring into the water, dozing off, and thinking about where it had all gone wrong. How you ended up here.

The faint gurgle of the water, the occasional hiccup and splash of the gentle stream kissing the mossy, slick stones brings you back and makes you open your eyes again. There's the faint chill biting on your cheeks, a testament to how much time you'd spent on the porch already.

Maybe you should leave the blanket inside when you come out in the morning.

You twist the artfully woven fabric mindlessly in your fingers, back and forth. The loose lint gets scraggly underneath the pressure, the fine fabric strings hooking into each other and balling up.

You frown at it, thinking about the few words you had managed to string together on your laptop since you had moved into the cabin.

A splash makes you look up from your musing. A lazy drift of your eyes, more like, still without coffee and food because the food you got from Gabriel every now and then had run out by now.

Your eyes wander over the river until you spot a brown bear.

Just barely in the first few gleams of the sun, it trudges deeper into the water, uncaring of your presence on the other side of the river.

You should probably take up cooking again.

Give yourself something to do; maybe you should cook something for Gabriel, at least once, in return.

A fish from the stream, perhaps.

You squint against the bright light, the reflections on the water, and find the bear, quite unsuccessfully, snapping at fish swimming past.

It has been a week since you've been down at the ranch.

Your fingers are itching for something to do.

Then again, meeting the judging, worried look from the Senior of the Dutton family has started to lose its appeal. It makes your skin crawl to see the gruff man level such a soft, understanding look at you without much prompting.

-

"Hey, sunshine."

"Hey yourself- you busy?" You set your tote bag with the empty Tupperware down at your usual spot at the kitchen island before glancing at Gabriel. He is chopping away at something, diligently working, even as you lean against the kitchen counter next to him. You watch his arm move, the way he fills the shirt up that he had chosen for today.

"A little. Working on supper preparations." He briefly turns and flashes a charming smile before he continues chopping some zucchini. "How was your week away from the ranch?"

"Insightful. I brought you something for all that food you made me. Just... a favor in return for a favor."

Perfectly cubed pieces of vegetable join the others in the big bowl next to him and you watch as he puts down the knife. When he dries his washed hands on the towel slung over his shoulder, he finally meets your eyes again. 

"That's awfully nice."

"I would have bought you a bottle of something good to drink but I don't really know what you like."

He chuckles with a slight nod before he risks a look towards the kitchen island where you have deposited the filled box.

"What's in it?"

"Special dinner. Didn't have time to make dessert, otherwise, I would have made you some of my homemade cinnamon buns."

"Mh, I've heard good things about those."

"Oh, is that so?"

You nudge him with your elbow before looking over the kitchen countertop more closely - the bowl is a rainbow of colors and you see a box of steak, deep in the mix of paprika orange and streaks of muted greens, a marinade that already looks promising. It's like you can smell the colors.

"Well, maybe we can make those together sometime soon, then." He nudges you back and you chuckle before hopping off the counter again.

"Yeah right. Every cook I know despises baking."

"Yeah because it's like chemistry-"

"-like chemistry", you say at the same time. You grin wolfishly before knocking on the countertop wood, twice.

"Well, I better go out to the barn. Check on the horses."

"Want me to walk you over?"

"What, do you think a wolf will get me?"

"Nah. I just... I could use the fresh air."

"Uhm, sure."

He throws a towel over the cubed veggies.

You don't say much when he follows you outside.

What are you even doing?

"Hardly noticed how nice the weather is today", Gabriel mutters, scratching his beard as you approach the barn. You hum and look out towards the mountains.

"Maybe you need to get out more often."

"Hey, I do get out." He smiles, despite the admonishment. You give him an unbelieving look.

"Yeah, right, Gator", you huff and turn into the barn. He stops right at the border of the first concrete tile and leans up against the wooden door.

"Well if you don't believe me, I'll just have to prove it. You free this weekend?"

You're mute.

What?

He is still staring at you, waiting for an answer, unabashedly waiting out the awkward silence.

"I uhh- I'll have to look into my calendar, I guess."

"When you do, you know where to find me."

You're left with no further explanation, your eyes following Gabriel until he is back at the lodge.

-

You don't know if you want to answer him, today, though. 

You frown and hold your breath as you push your hand deeper into the cow - it lows as you do and you shush it as you carefully press further.

"You look beautiful today, Bones!"

You glare at the young farmhand calling out to you and manage to raise your middle finger at him.

"Aren't those boys happy about summer starting", you grumble. You finally manage to feel the organ you had been looking for. John chuckles, leveling an amused look at the guys working the herd in the other gutter.

"You know how they get."

"Wish they'd get more useful, sometimes", you mutter, still busy mapping out the reproductive system of the cow.

John hums, still leaning onto the metal cage the cow is fixated in, leaving you just enough room so you don’t feel uncomfortable but always close enough to peer over your shoulder.

“So, what’s going on?”

You draw your arm back after another minute with a short murmur to the cow.

“There’s some abnormalities around the ovaries and uterus. I’m going to suggest we keep her in while I do some tests. But most likely she’s going to be useless for breeding, John”, you sigh as you tug your plastic glove off. He notes it down in his notebook, nodding slightly.

You throw your dirty glove into your bucket and move over to the side to draw some blood from the neck of the cow where Rip is standing.

He smiles at you as you take a short moment to pat the cow’s neck.

“Rip!”

His head whips up towards John’s voice, his legs already in motion. He pats your shoulder as he passes you. As you rummage for a needle in your case, you catch him looking at you while he listens to John.

A cheeky smile briefly breaks his serious grimace before he turns away from you again.

You busy yourself withdrawing some blood from the cow's neck, carefully filling up a few more vials that you stash in the cooled box next to your case.

"Alright," you call out as you straighten up, your eyes on the boys in the back. ", send me the next one in, guys! We still have two more left!"

You straighten your head and use your bandana to wipe off some sweat that had built on your forehead and neck.

It takes a few more hours to finish your work, carefully checking over all of the cows that would be used for breeding this year before you do the actual dirty work the next week.

“Got everything?”

You look up from your cooled box of blood vials, your pen hovering over your notebook pages with the cattle numbers. Rip has your travel mug in hand, the light clinking of the metal immediately giving away the contents.

"Well, now I do. When did you have time to make me an iced coffee?”

“Who said I made it”, he just retorts, pushing the cool container into your free hand. You squint at him before taking a sip and noting the last few comments down before you shut the book.

“Well I know damn well that nobody would willingly put oat milk in coffee in this part of the country”, you murmur- you chance a look towards the Dutton house and feel your cheeks flush as you see Gabriel leaning over the sill to wave at you.

Oh. So that’s where the coffee had come from.

You wave back and take another sip before you look back at Rip.

He’s looking out towards the ranch, checking on god knows what- maybe the farmhand busy doing the dirty work of the day.

“Do you need any help moving your stuff up?”

“The blood vial case is a bit heavy but I’ll be fine. After all, that is going on Milton’s back, not mine.” 

“Just askin’. I'm going into town to get groceries. Want to come along?"

"Oh- I am-" you stop and frown. "No, actually, I could use some groceries, now that you mention it."

"I'll pick you up at the cabin, later, then."

"That would be great, thanks, Rip." You lean your head against his shoulder for a brief moment before looking up at him. He is already looking at you - it makes you squirm, that look.

"I'll come pick you up in an hour."

You don't think you've ever seen Rip without at least two pieces of clothing that identify him as a cowboy: It's always a hat, the boots, the belt, and maybe one of the Dutton logos on his shirts.

"Alright."

-

You grin to yourself as you watch a younger man glancing at Rip nervously from the produce aisle. 

You gently squeeze the tomato in your hand before grabbing a few to put in your cart. Rip is frowning at some cucumbers next to you. 

"Stop frowning like that, you're scaring every teenager in the vicinity", you mutter and nudge him before picking one of the cucumbers for yourself.

"Just thinking."

"You want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing important, doll." 

You bite your lip instead of disagreeing. Instead, you focus on picking out some more produce, the faint 2000s summer playlist playing in the background. The AC is already blasting even though summer has barely started - you're almost freezing in your thinned-out sweatshirt. It's blissfully empty around this time in the grocery store- well, as empty as these giant stores can get.

Rip eventually catches up to you in the fruit juice aisle where you swear your teeth are chattering.

"I shouldn't buy this much- I can barely get all of this up to the cabin."

"I'll drive you back, you know that, right?"

He's close. Hovering. You two haven't been this close in months.

You miss the comfort of his hugs.

It's the only thing you can think about as you stare into the overfilled shelf.

"Pick some up so we can have those fancy little cocktails you like to make. Don't play shy about it."

"So what you're saying is you want me to make some cocktails again because you have been missing having those fancy fruity little drinks with me."

He doesn't say anything, just leans so close you can feel the warmth of his breath.

"If you tell on me, I'll tell the greenhorn you have a crush on him."

"Ohhh, I'm shaking in fear."

"Knew it wasn't just the cold."

Rip leans back again and you smile as you pick out a few juice bottles, despite the chill. 

He forces you to take his jacket when you get into the truck again and drives the two of you home.

You spend the next two days hugging yourself, wound up in it as you let your feet dangle into the cool water of the stream.

You do it until you feel your toes go numb. After going inside and warming them up, you do it again, your eyes steadily on the rush and splash of the water, the reflections playing with the lights.

The groceries stay untouched.

-

Taglist: @graniairish

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[silentglassbreak]

Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

-

K listen, I've haven't written any band FF in a LONG LONG LONG time, mkay? But Bad Omens...Noah Sebastian...mmmph. Let's see how far we get here. If you enjoy, let me know. If you want to be tagged in the next part, let me know that too. If you even so much as take the time to read MY SINCEREST GRATITUDES CAUSE WRITING THIS STUFF IS MY ESCAPE. xo

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 1 - Burning Out

Work had been long today. Longer than most days. The customers screaming at me had only taken it's toll so much, but having a God awful supervisor who was hell bent on making me late for my meeting, knowing full well how important my twice weekly meetings were, had completely wiped my energy and patience in one fell swoop. Needless to say, I was in no mood for excess attitude or traffic today. Which is why I found myself cursing at the jackass in the SUV in front of me, taking at least a year to make a right hand turn into the close to empty parking lot where the meeting was being held. It took the last of my self restraint to not lay on my horn and flip a specific finger at the driver.

Finally reaching the normal parking space in front of the unmarked office building, I silently breathed a sigh of relief. I had made it, only 2 minutes later than I should be. I began scrambling for my energy drink and my bag before shuffling out of my car and pressing the fob to hear the beep of the alarm set. My poor beat up Tahoe was doing her best, so I never took my frustrations out on her.

As I crossed the parking lot, I whipped my head around to gauge the spaces, noticing all of the regulars were already here, meaning I was the last to arrive. Sucks, given I'm the meeting organizer. Something caught my eye. A vehicle I didn't recognize, a black SUV. The same one who apparently can't make a right turn to save their life. Newbie? The rest of the offices were closed for the day, so I can't see why else they'd be here.

The building is always so quiet at 6PM, so the tapping of my chucks on the tile floors is louder than I'd like, drawing attention to my obvious lateness. (To who?). Didn't matter. I felt ashamed. These meetings are the most important facet of my life right now. I needed to be more punctual. Maybe next time, I'll tell Supervisor Sam to fuck right off like he deserves.

"Guys, I am so fucking sorry. Douchebag sup made me late...again." I announced as I backed into the door, opening it, and heading straight to the table to pull the Crumbl cookies out of my bag and setting them next to the water cooler and Keurig machine. I always brought sweets. It kept the cravings away.

"No worries Leena, we've just been chatting with the new guy." I turned around to see Abel, my veteran, who was gesturing to someone I didn't know.

I went around the circle of chairs, counting off my regular faces, some newer than others.

Abel, Rodger, Syd, Seth, Ali, Jackson, Mark, and Jillian.

However, sitting between Abel and Jillian was a newcomer, who currently had his back turned, slumped forward in his chair. Brown hair, longer than the hat he wore, black sweatshirt and dark blue jeans. Black sneakers. Hood up. Guarded, uncomfortable. What little of his hands I could see kneading together, they were completely tattooed. Even at Abel's mention of him, he didn't turn to face me.

"Oh! Well good! Great job guys. We can go ahead and get started." I grabbed my clipboard off the table, and rounded the group and took my normal spot next to Syd. By the way her hair was pulled back and her face looked dry and sullen, I could tell we had some things to talk about today.

"Well, my new folks don't typically like to talk first on their first day, but just know, that you being here is only the beginning. And we are all here to welcome you to our group. Right, guys?" I directed my statement toward the stranger, who I now can see more clearly. His face is pale, with the exception of the dark circles rested comfortably above his cheekbones. If I were to take a guess, those had been there a while.

The rest of my group nodded, with several of them giving a quick 'That's right.' and 'Welcome in.'

"I'm Leena, the group coordinator. I can answer any questions you may have?" The stranger just peered at me with dark eyes and shook his head. "Okay, we can jump right in, then."

I could feel Syd next to me bursting to talk, so I looked to her.

"Syd, do you want to get us started today?" She only nodded, wiping some stray tears forming on her cheeks.

Syd was such a beautiful girl. Only 21 years old, it was amazing that she found the strength to come to us so young, and work on turning her life around. Her neon blue hair was knotted on top of her head, and she was picking feverishly at her sleeve of her sweater. I could feel what was coming. I always could.

"I...I fell off the wagon." I only nodded, knowing. She had missed three meetings, and unless someone forewarned me about vacations or work obligations, it almost always meant they were on a bender of some kind.

"Okay," As her tears began pouring, I reached over and ran a hand up her arm. There was a reason I sat Syd right next to me. She had been one of my newest, and biggest challenges. Overcoming the demons was an every day, every moment, every second battle that she was still very much fighting. "It's alright honey. We're all here to support you. No one is judging."

She went on to explain she had began with a mimosa at brunch with her friends, who didn't know she was in recovery. She didn't want them to know, so she tried to just sip. It didn't work. It never does. The one drink lead to a blackout weekend and three days in jail for public intoxication. She lost the job she had just gotten at the local DMV. Syd was going through it. She would need Seth, her sponsor, more than usual right now. He was on the other side of her, clutching her hand as she cried.

Once Syd had finished her confession, and emotionally put her 30-day coin back in the jar, we moved on to Seth.

One by one, through the circle, we heard everyone's stories of recent achievements and sorrows. Challenges and victories. Their ongoing battles. Once Jillian finished telling us about her recent trip to Vegas with her friends, where she managed not to have a single drink. We applauded her, because we all knew how much restraint that took.

I would steal occasional glances at our guest, whose eyes would also glance back at me once in a while, but mostly followed the speakers, never moving in his chair, stoic as cement. This isn't uncommon for people coming here for the first time. It's not easy to do, and it's wildly uncomfortable at first.

However, the circle was now all looking at him, and a look of almost panic flashed across his face.

"Is it on me?" His voice was deeper than I expected, with a clear rasp to it that told me all I needed to know about his history. He belonged here, and we were glad to have him.

I nodded. "How much you tell us is entirely up to you, but all I ask is you at least tell us your name, and why you're here."

He bit his bottom lip, eyes cast at me from across the room, looking up through long, dark eyelashes. "I have to say it out loud?"

"That's one of the first steps." I kept a soft smile on my face. Being warm, and understanding was my entire job here.

Abel's elbow nudged the stranger, who glanced at him, encouraging him. "No worries man, we've all been here."

A hard sigh left his throat, ending with a sharp cough.

"My name is Noah. And I'm an alcoholic."

****

Once the meeting had ended, I was stacking chairs back against the wall, prepping the room for the next meeting, NA. They had their own setup, and would be in here in about 30 minutes. Most everyone had left, with the exception of Abel, Syd, and Noah. Our newest AA member had been pretty tight-lipped about himself, only admitted to being 27 years old, and in the entertainment industry. He didn't elaborate further. That was just fine. If he kept coming, we would encourage him further, but AA was all about getting you through it at your pace. As long as you didn't drink, I was happy.

I was putting away the leftover cookies, planning to take the last couple with me to work tomorrow for a snack. I happened to catch a glimpse of someone leaving the restroom, and I noticed it was Noah. Everyone else had left only a couple minutes ago.

"Oh, hey!" I waved at him to come over. He paced his tall frame over to me, towering over me easily. He had at least a foot of height on me, which was hilarious, given I was a year older and 3 years sober myself.

"Hey, thanks for having me today. I didn't know if you could just come to these things." I slung my bag over my shoulder, smiling at him.

"C'mon, I wanted to chat with you before you left." We made our way out of the building as Angie, the NA organizer walked in past us, smiling at us both.

We reached the parking lot, my green Tahoe and the same black SUV being some of the only vehicles left. It dawned on me that he drove the SUV. Well, he may need a driving lesson, but he seemed nice enough.

I turned to face him before heading for my car. "Have you talked to anyone about being a sponsor? The only requirements I have is that they have been sober at least 6 months. Almost everyone in our group is, with the exception of Syd and Jackson." I could see him chewing his lip, his fingers fiddling with his keys.

"No, I...I didn't think about it." His eyes were looking everywhere but at me.

"Noah?" I asked, trying to get his attention. "Do you know what a sponsor is?"

This drew a short, burst of a chuckle out of him, his lips curling in a sheepish grin while he shook his head. I saw his frame relax for just a second, his arm reaching to scratch the back of his neck.

"I don't." I nodded, chuckling myself.

"No worries! I didn't when I started either." I waved him over to the bench perched just outside the building. He followed me and we sat. "A sponsor is someone to keep you straight. Someone who will keep your head on when you feel like you might fall off." He was listening, eyes fixed on me. "This is the person you call when you want a drink. They'll talk you down, distract you. Support you." He nodded, understanding crossing his features.

"Do they have to be a member of the group?"

"No, not necessarily, but they do need to be sober. A sponsor is no good if they are drinking and setting bad examples."

"Makes sense. I'll think on it." I stood up then, stretching up on my toes to flex my legs that had been sitting most the day. He stayed sat, now looking up at me.

"I do need you to have a sponsor by the next meeting on Thursday, though. Have to have one by your second session. And if you don't have one by then, we can get someone in the group to sponsor you, no problem."

He raised a brow at me, a smirk on his lips. "Didn't you say you only had one rule?" This threw me off. Smartass? It was innocent, I could tell, but a joker. Hadn't had one of those in a while.

I laughed it off. "Well, I only do for your first day. There are only a few rules to AA, but they're pretty much common sense."

He stood then, towering me once again. "Can you tell me anyway? I don't want to fuck this up." We then began walking back towards the cars. When I walked toward mine, he followed. It was dark already, so I didn't mind. This was LA, after all.

"Well, the first is obvious, no drinking." I popped my driver door open and flung my bag in toward the passenger's side. He nodded at me and leaned against the rear door of my truck.

"Second, no coming in drunk. As obvious as that may seem, you would not believe how many people I've kicked out of the meeting for showing up mid-bender." He raised his eyebrows. "As much as I'd like to keep and eye on them, it's not good for the other members."

"No, for sure." His tone was even.

"And lastly," I then looked straight at him, so he knew how serious I was. "don't ever lie to me." I could see him straighten just a little, feeling the seriousness of what I was saying. "If you fell off, admit it. I'm not judging. I did, so many times. But if you lie, you're out." I then took a step closer, if only to make my point, "Because I always find out."

He kicked off from my truck, his body less than six inches from mine. He looked down at me, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

"Yes ma'am." I felt a twinge up the back of my spine. It was a little warm all of a sudden, and my mouth was dry. I stepped back, and was able to regain my brain.

I smiled brightly at him and swung myself up into my truck. Before I slid my legs in, I looked at him, now almost at eye-level.

"Great! I'll see you Thursday, then!"

[deerspherestudios]

How do you organise the process of creating a character? like, to me its too confusing, i dont know what i do first because there are TOO MANY THINGS TO DO, like backstory, personality, looks, what they like, so what would be the “steps” to make them?

(Since @isabellaswork asked the same thing recently I'm tagging you here, hope that's okay!) Omg I'm flattered I'm the person you'd wanna ask such a big question ;v;!!? Honestly the process is different for everyone, but I'll give it a go <3 This is how my process usually goes:

Personality first, backstory later. Flesh out the concept of the character before deciding their origin story if that makes sense.

Build a moodboard for your character! The more ideas the better!

Time for visuals! Sketch out multiple iterations, looking at the moodboard for inspiration. Colors go last.

Finalize! Once you've got your final sketch + colors, draw a proper illustration and see if you vibe with the design. Repeat previous steps if necessary <3

Extra: Since you've got the design and story down, add some fun facts. This is where interests, likes and dislikes go!

I'll use my VN characters as examples below in case someone wants it in more detail! Mychael (Mushroom Oasis) and Alma (Lift Your Spirits spoilers!! + horror imagery) process ideation under cut:

Usually I start with personality first. Because for me, when you first meet someone, you see what they're like in the present; their past doesn't matter as much until you get to know them. I can decide the backstory later so it doesn't limit the personalities I'm playing around with. Of course I must have gotten the idea from somewhere so these two things work in tandem most of the time.

Then it's just a matter of how they look!

After deciding on personality traits, I start by collecting references from everywhere, even the smallest of things. I think of how I want them to look plus how they would dress. Anything goes at this stage, so just go buck-wild gathering ideas!

Here's a moodboard for Mychael:

This one was for Alma, from their normal self to their monstrous self:

Then it's time for drawing and doodles. As I sketch, I look back at the moodboard I've made and pick out things I like, while drawing things really loose. Copy paste if I need to!

I've shared the ones for Mychael here, here and here! Here's some sketches for Alma from last year:

This part takes the longest but is always the most fun! Don't feel limited by what you had initially, just test out ideas! Here are the final designs!

Mychael(s):

Alma(s):

Then once I'm happy with the design I can flesh out the backstory as much as I like!!! so long as it fits the presentation of the character in current time. Of course this process can differ when you already have a story in mind and need characters to carry out the plot, but I'm definitely not big-brain enough to make an all-out story like that </3 I just enjoy designing characters visually haha

Oh and just for fun, I like to sprinkle in some extra (but kinda unnecessary) background info. It can be the most mundane thing but it gives them more life (to me at least!) Maybe they drink flat orange soda, or enjoy riding trains at night, or hate the smell of french fries, or think apples are disgusting etcetcetc.

Of course there's like, tips for professional character designing like silhouette, shapes, proportions but I assume this ask was for a more casual approach <3 That's all I could think of if I were to describe my process,,, I hope that answers your question!

To recap:

Start with personality traits and decide backstory later. Or work them together as one. It's more concept than visuals at this stage.

Assemble a moodboard for inspiration. The more ideas the better! Look up anything that might relate to your character if it helps.

Sketch, sketch and sketch again! Keep things loose and free. I usually start from the face, to clothes to accessories. Colors go last.

Finalize! Put everything together in one rendered drawing, and see if you vibe with it. You can always go back to previous steps if you're still not happy with it.

And you're done! :-)

[zivazivc]

Reading the tags of your recent Kunoichi Turtles post that Female Casey has a bit of a flirtatious personality has led me to headcanon that when Lavinia starts crushing on David (I think that’s Mona’s genderbent name in your AU?) she goes to Casey for advice and tips on how to flirt with a boy but when actually trying to use the flirting tips on David she fails miserably (like that flirting lesson scene from the movie Jumanji), but unknowingly to Vinnie the bad flirting worked and David is smitten XD

AHAHAHA! XD I would literally cry from second hand embarrassment if an episode like that existed. Maybe, maybe, I can see that happening a few "episodes" after David's first introduced into the story, after Vin finally comes to terms with her emotions. Because in this version the relationship progresses slowly over the course of like a season and a half (a lot of that due to David only visiting when his job demands it), and Vin has cold feet like for most of that time lol

David is the one who gets smitten with Vin first in my story and starts making subtle advances while Vin is completely on edge and skeptical of them and needs a while to realize that he actually likes her in a romantic sense, for real, and doesn't have some ulterior motive. After that she's just very awkward and tongue-tied about it.

You know how Raph kept telling Donnie to give up on his crush because they're all giant mutants that won't ever get a chance at love? I wanted to put attention on that part from canon since the show didn't give me that with the canon Ramona. Raph being a teenage girl can only make that mind-set worse, giving him/her more insecurity and self-hatred. Especially since Vin is the biggest of her sisters and the least "cute" and feminine of them. So I don't see her making the first move in any situation, and I think she'd only flirt after it would be made clear the other person feels the same way.

Ahh, sorry, that got a bit serious maybe. The two actually have a really sweet and healthy relationship (y'know, in my head, where it's been living rent free for years now lol), Lavinia just has to work out some things first before she's angst free.

In this AU we first meet David in the episode Newtralized, where David and Sal are trying to arrest the Newtralizer. Slash is there (he's an all-time baddie in this version), Vin gets captured thanks to David getting in the way of the fight, David feels responsible and goes to save her -> bla bla bla -> Vin has a rescued princess moment that she doesn't know how to feel about...

I've been trying to make this episode into an actual fic for the longest time. On the topic of Casey, I'm showing you a short section from the wip. It takes place toward the end when they've all reunited. I think it's also a good example on why Vin would not go to Casey for romantic advice XD

.

.

.

Casey leans in close to her face, her hooded eyes joining her friend’s thoughtful gaze on the young Salamandrian on the other side of the rooftop who is currently listening to his veteran commander going over what had happened while they were split up.

“Look at him standing there,” she says to her smoothly, almost whispering into her ear, “dark skin over toned muscle. Those abs, man.”

“Casey!” Vin cries out in shock and horror and swings around to face her friend’s smug smile.

“Like a chiseled renaissance statue,” Sofie helps with uncharacteristic coyness to her smile.

“Sofie, no!”

All four of the girls are grinning like Cheshire Cats at Lavinia’s discomfort, enjoying themselves way too much. Vin’s cheeks and nose are thoroughly covered in a deep blush and she hates that it’s there in the first place. She doesn’t even like the guy.

“David the Statuesque! That’s what I’m naming him.” Marie exclaims, sounding proud of herself for that one. “I was going to go with something more fun but since he’s your knight in shining armor—Literally!—I gotta be respectful.”

Vin can’t even hide her tortured grimace. Her shoulders sag and she sighs miserably. “I hate you guys.”

[peanutpinet]

No Regret - Tsukasa x Fem Reader x Yuta (slight)

Main Pairing: Tsukasa (Hokuto) x Fem Reader

Warnings: fighting, angst, right person wrong universe :')

A/N: hello everyone!! I LIVEEEEE!! Can't believe it's been more than a month since I posted on Tumblr :" work has really taken a toll on me and my mental health ain't really the best but after High & Low The Worst X came out on Netflix, you know I'm binging it and well, when I said binge, I meant I watched all of the H&L film series from "The Story of S.W.O.R.D" till The Worst Cross X (even though not in a good order) and lemme just say. I love Yuta's acting even though he doesn't get much lines but the way he expresses his face is 🤌🏼🤌🏼

Now, while I did enjoy the H&L The Worst films, I honestly much prefer the SWORD era films :') it's just that good. Coming from a film studies person, I like how the SWORD era has like a big plot that is continuous throughout the films (except maybe The Red Rain) and well, though there was closure in the big plot, I would really love to dive deeper into some of the gangs and characters. EHEM Amamiya Kyoudai :))

But anyways, here is my first (yes, girl is gonna make some other one-shots) of the H&L film series; starting with the man that caught my attention, Hokuto aka Tsukasa 🥰

Summary: you and Yuta have been friends long before he went to Korea. When Yuta finally had his acting debut, you were more than thrilled to support your best friend and may or may not fangirl over the other characters. But what happens when you and your best friend actually got to experience the other universe?

“Honestly why do you always get to hang out with the badass good looking guys?” you asked Yuta, your best friend who was staying over at your place and currently rewatching his movie, High & Low The Worst X, together

“Hey. What about me and the neos?!” Yuta scoffed, looking at your direction but you avoided his gaze; especially when your favourite character, Tsukasa showed up

“I mean, you guys are hot, I won’t lie. But look at Tsukasa!! Brains and brawns plus the look?! You have to introduce me to Yoshino-san, please!!!” you rambled as Yuta sighed

“We’ve watched this many times and you always say the same thing. That Tsukasa is the best and I went too hard on him during the fight” Yuta tsked as he turned off the TV

“YUTA!! HEY!! That’s not fair!! Just let me fangirl!!” you argued but Yuta didn’t budge

“C’mon, it’s late and we should really sleep. Plus, Hokuto, Ryoki and Kazuma-kun are coming tomorrow to visit. So, save up your fangirling self for tomorrow when you meet them” Yuta argued

“Hontoni?! They’re really coming?! Crap!! I need to plan out what I’m going to wear and how will I dress tomorrow. Yuta, you’re the best!!” you exclaimed as you jump to hug your best friend

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just sleep alright. Thank me after you meet them tomorrow. Good night (y/n)” Yuta replied as the two of you went to your respective rooms to sleep

“Tomorrow can’t come any faster” you whispered to yourself as you fell asleep

As much as you wanted tomorrow to come faster, you still want your beauty sleep but unfortunately, you were suddenly woken up by a loud crash. Blinking a few times, you were confused about how you were suddenly outside and on the ground. Was this Yuta’s way of getting revenge on you for neglecting his character? There’s no way. Right?!

What’s even more confusing is that it doesn’t look like your neighbourhood at all. Looking around, you tried to find out where you were and even call out to Yuta. As you got up, another crash occurred, making you fall and worry started to creep up on you.

Rushing back to your feet, you tried to find out the source of the crash and when you took a peak, you noticed that it was Kawamura and Yoshino having a brawl against Yuta and Ryoki. Confused, you shouted at Yuta, telling him if this is how he typically greets his friends but instead of Yuta telling you off, the others suddenly stop fighting and what Kawamura said shocked you.

“Who the hell is Yuta? And do any of you know who this girl is?” Kawamura asked as Yuta slowly approached you and grabbed your wrist, pulling you with him

“She’s a friend of mine dan just came back from abroad. Apologies everyone. I’ll be back later. Fujio, Tsukasa, let’s finish the fight later. Amagai, I’ll catch up with you later” Yuta stated, pulling you along with him, away from everyone else

“Yuta?! W-what on earth?! Why did you call the others by their High & Low characters? Are you guys doing some sort of role-play? Because if you are, this isn’t funny” you commented as Yuta pulled you so that you were standing in front of him; his eyes were cold yet serious and concern

“I don’t know what happened when we were asleep or if is this just part of your imagination but we’re basically in the High & Low world. Those guys don’t know who Yuta is. They only know Ryo Suzaki. As for you, you don’t exist in this world. Well, maybe you do. But not in this country at least. You’re practically a foreigner here” Yuta mentioned, making you laugh

“Very funny Yuta. You and your friends are such good actors. You can cut the cameras and all the staff can come out now” you laughed but no one answered you, making you gulp

“I’m serious (y/n), this isn’t a joke. I woke up earlier than you and immediately, Amagai, Fujio and Tsukasa asked me if I was alright because we were in a middle of a brawl. Lucky enough, they believed me that I didn’t remember because I hit my head” Yuta explained yet you still didn’t believe him

“Look. I don’t know how the both of us got here but want or not, we have to blend in until we can find a way to get back to our own universe. Which means, don’t get overly attached to anyone. Especially when your character doesn’t even exist in the High & Low universe. Got it?” Yuta reminded and you quickly nodded

“You handle them, I’ll go look around and find some sort of clues that might help us” you stated, about to turn around until you heard Tsukasa speak

“Don’t think it’s a good idea for a girl to go around this neighbourhood on her own” Tsukasa stated, making you a bit annoyed

“I think I can handle myself well. Yu—I mean Suzaki has taught me a few things about self-defence. You boys can go back to your brawl since clearly, it’s a boys-only thing” you scoffed, disbelief that Tsukasa would say something like this that you were about to walk away when Fujio suddenly stood in front of you, blocking your way

“What my friend meant is that, while we’re sure that you can probably take care of yourself, it would be better if you were with us. Especially since Suzaki-san mentioned that you were from abroad. It tends to get rough around here” Fujio explained, offering you a smile

“I’m Hanaoka Fujio and my friend there is Takagi Tsukasa” Fujio mentioned, offering you his hand for a shake which you accepted

“(L/N) (Y/N). Please to meet you guys” you stuttered, making Fujio chuckle

Ever since that meeting, you’ve been hanging out with the 4 men more often. Heck, you even got to meet the other boys including Todoroki, the four Housen Killer Cops, Sachio and even the Suzuran house. You got along with all of them which made you happy even if deep down you knew that this was all just temporary. Despite so, you couldn’t understand why Tsukasa seemed colder towards you when everyone has been opening up.

It’s been almost a month since you and Yuta came into this universe but neither of you has stopped searching for clues on how to get back to your own world. Though it wasn’t easy, the both of you managed to gain some information that there was a shaman who could talk to spirits and souls from other dimensions. After some digging, you manage to find where the shaman lives and decided to go there yourself because Yuta had to accompany Amagai for who knows what.

The more you walk on your own, the more worried you become because while you’ve gone around the neighbourhood and met with the other factions, you were still unfamiliar with the deeper parts of the neighbourhood. But you couldn’t back down now. You need answers and as much as you want to hang out with the H&L characters, this wasn’t the way you wanted.

You walked through the forest but right before you could go any deeper, you noticed that several other people were surrounding the area. Not knowing who they were, you hid behind the trees and tried to eye what these people were doing.

What you found out was that these guys were a gang from a rural area of the city which makes them an unknown gang. However, when you got closer, you overheard that this gang was aiming to take down Oya High sometime when the main heads are out of town; which you realised that it could be now because right now the main Oya High leaders like Fujio and Tsukasa were out with Housen, Suzuran and even Senomon.

Though you wanted to go and find the shaman, you knew that you had to go back and warn Yuta and the others about this potential ambush. Without wasting any time, you rushed to go back and find Yuta and the others because who knows where those boys are.

You only managed to get away for a bit before getting startled by a rabbit and tripped, causing suspicion among the unknown gang. While they weren’t looking, you immediately got back up and run away but those gangs were used to the twist and turns of the forest that some managed to caught up to you, surrounding you.

Though you were intimidated, you weren’t going to show any fear to them. Especially when they called Yuta and his friends some nasty names; saying how those guys always have it easy and never understand the actual pain of fighting without any backups or without any good resources like the other schools.

Angered by the comments, you didn’t hesitate to take the first move and punched the life out of some of them. Sure, you weren’t as skillful as Yuta or the others; but you could definitely do some damage and outsmart them.

Unfortunately, when you thought that you outsmarted them, one of them came up from behind you and grabbed you by the ankle, making you fall forward; hard. Though you hit your head quite hard, you still managed to return the favour before getting away from the messed-up scene.

Limping your way back, you tried to hang onto whatever it is that you can hold onto since your whole body felt like it was going to crumble any second now. Right when you just reached the Oya High gate, someone came up behind you that you instinctively tried to slap them but they managed to grab you.

Turns out, one of the gang members managed to sneak away and followed you. Unfortunately, because you had just finished fighting off the others, you barely had enough strength to pull away from this guy and he managed to grab you by the neck to the point where you started to lose your vision but at the same time the grip around your neck loosen and instead, a warm strong grip was around your waist.

“What the hell happened to you?!” you heard Tsukasa’s voice, his voice softer than how he normally talks when he was with you

“T-tsukasa…they, they’re coming. For the school. While everyone is…” you breathed out but your body gave up on you and you practically passed out, Tsukasa’s grip around your body tighten

“Hey, (y/n), what happened? Hey, wake up” Tsukasa mumbled, confused about what he should do especially when you passed out

Knowing that you wouldn’t say anything that you don't mean, Tsukasa called out some of his gang members to keep the guy that hurt you to be tamed while he gets you treated and get some answers from you first. But at the same time, he knew that while this guy was from an unknown gang, he can’t easily brush them off; especially when Fujio was out with other leaders.

Tsukasa made sure that some of the better fighters would guard around just in case if what you said about the school going to be attacked was true. Once he took you to the hospital and got you treated, he texted Fujio to let him and the others know on what happened.

While it seemed like Tsukasa only cared about the school and protecting his gang, he was actually worried about you. Sure, he didn’t have the greatest impression of you since he’s very much wary of any new person in the area; especially when he has never heard of them before. This is why when you first arrived and Yuta introduced you, Tsukasa was the first one that was suspicious of you. Girl or not, if you were a spy or someone that would come to destroy Oya High and SWORD, Tsukasa wouldn’t hesitate to put you down.

But as time passed, the more Tsukasa spied on you, the more he realised that you were truly someone outside of the area and even the country. You didn’t know a lot of things and the things you did know, Tsukasa assumed that it was because Yuta telling you stuff; not because you were from a whole different dimension.

Lately, Tsukasa has been keeping a closer eye on you. Not just to spy on you but also because there was just something about you that interest him. How you somehow managed to get close with the other guys not only in Oya High but also Housen and even Suzuran. Each school has taken a liking to you. Not only that, you just seemed too good to be true in Tsukasa’s eyes.

You weren’t the quiet or reserved kind of person. You were more outgoing and voiced out your opinions a lot. Even when you know that you would be outmatched, you kept going on and that is something that Tsukasa acknowledge about you.

When the nurse told Tsukasa that you were already treated and that you were currently resting. Tsukasa thanked the nurse and went into your room. Seeing you all bandaged angered Tsukasa that he swore he would make that unknown gang pay and even come to their knees to beg you for forgiveness once he was done with them.

Before Tuskasa could get closer to you, his phone rang and the other guys at Oya High told Tsukasa that he was right and some unknown gang was attacking the school. Despite being annoyed that he had to leave you, Tsukasa knew that you would be safer in the hospital.

Arriving back at Oya High, Tsukasa didn’t hesitate to knock some sense into everyone in the unknown gang. Their leader immediately fought head-to-head with Tsukasa which Tsukasa was more than happy to brawl with.

“Were you the one that started the attack on (y/n)?!” Tsukasa demanded, his eyes were sharp and angry at the same time

“Who? Oh, you mean that pesky girl in the forest? No, I didn’t touch her. But maybe I should have. To teach her a lesson and…” the leader spatted but Tsukasa immediately punched the leader. Hard.

“The fuck are you? An animal?!” Tsukasa growled, grabbing the leader by the collar and punching him over and over again to the point that the leader was unconscious, blood was dripping from his nose, mouth and Tsukasa’s knuckles

“Ya!! Tsukasa!!” Tsukasa heard Fujio shout, making the blonde stop

“What the hell happened around here? And why the hell are you beating someone until they’re unconscious?! Since when do you do that?!” Fujio snapped, pulling Tsukasa’s bloody wrist away from the beaten unconscious person under him

“Is it wrong? After what he and his men did to (y/n)?!” Tsukasa snapped back, getting off of the unconscious man and yanked his arm back, Yuta immediately came into the scene with the sound of your name

“What the hell happened to her?!” Yuta demanded

“She’s hospitalised right now. This guy and his entire gang were going to attack our school but somehow, (y/n) found out about it and rushed back to warn us but along the way, she was attacked. Badly. When I found her, one of them nearly choked her to death” Tsukasa explained, the other guys were now silent with the information

Before anyone can utter another word, Tsukasa’s phone rang and it was the nurse from the hospital, telling Tsukasa that you were finally awake and were searching for him. Without any more explanation, Tsukasa turned the phone off and rushed away to the hospital to see you.

Arriving at the hospital, Tsukasa didn’t even pay attention that he was pushing through some of the workers but once he got to your room and saw you sitting on your bed, never has Tsukasa felt this amount of relief. Seeing that Tsukasa was finally here, the nurse decided to give the two of you some privacy and left.

“H-hey, a-are you ok?” Tsukasa stuttered, scratching the back of his head as he took a chair and sat right beside your bed

“I think I should be the one asking you that” you replied, pointing at his bruised and bloody knuckles

“Oh. This. This is nothing” Tsukasa breathed out but you took his hand and a nearby cloth, wiping his bloody hand

“You shouldn’t fight so much. Who did you fight anyways? Were there that many people that attacked Oya High?” you asked, wiping Tsukasa’s hands clean from his own blood

“There were quite a lot but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that you got hurt because you were trying to warn us about the attack” Tsukasa explained but you just chuckled dryly

“Wh-what?” Tsukasa questioned as you put his hand back on the bed

“You never really cared nor did you spare me a glance when we first met. What changed?” you asked. It was Tsukasa’s turn to be nervous

You were right. Tsukasa never paid attention nor seemed to care about your sudden appearance. But he can’t help but be drawn to you. It was as if you were someone that he was looking for but when you were actually in front of him, Tsukasa just malfunctioned. He rarely encounters girls to begin with; let alone is interested in any of them.

“You’re right, this isn’t me. I’m not used to any of this yet nor do I know exactly how I feel but what I do know is that I was a coward. In the beginning, I thought that you were just some random girl that was probably a spy from Kuryu or something. But I spied on you, I realised that you were actually a regular girl that was just lost. I know that we didn’t start off well but if you’re alright to start over. If not, perhaps we can just try and get along, slowly…” Tsukasa replied, his hand making its way back on top of yours, caressing your hand

“Tsukasa…I hope that this isn’t a joke” you mumbled, not wanting to give in just yet

“I promise you that I want to start anew” Tsukasa replied back, intertwining your fingers together

But right when Tsukasa was leaning closer and you completely forgot about how you ended up in this world in the first place, Yuta came and stopped you both from going any further. His eyes were worried but sharp at the same time.

Noticing his glare, Tsukasa knew that Yuta would probably want to talk to you alone. “You don’t have to answer me now. I’ll wait for you this time. Get better soon alright? Let me know if you need anything” Tsukasa sighed, kissing your knuckles before excusing himself from the room.

Once he was sure that Tsukasa was out of the room, Yuta sat on the chair right by the bed and observed your current state before speaking up. “Where did you go before?” Yuta asked, still trying to process everything that has happened in the past few hours

“I got a lead about this shaman that would know how do we get back to our world. Along the way, I heard about that gang wanting to attack everyone in Oya High” you replied

“Then why didn’t you just go to the Shaman? Oya can take care of themselves. You didn’t have to go all the way back just to warn them. Look where it got you” Yuta cursed, making you jump a bit

“Well I’m sorry that I got attached to all of them. I love them not just as characters but who they are. Being in this world taught me that. I know we’re not supposed to think of this world as our own but the more I stay here and interact with everyone, the more that I care” you admitted, tears starting to build up

“I know. I know (y/n). I slowly also become attached and I guess that has become a problem for both of us. I know how much you adore Tsukasa but you can’t let him get close to you and vice versa. I’ll visit the shaman tomorrow and let you know once I come back. Until then, you have to set up some boundaries between you and the others; especially Tsukasa. Because from what I’ve seen, it seems like he has also grown attached to you in some way” Yuta suggested, holding your hands in his

“I know. I just. I feel bad. Turning down his feelings? Should we just tell them all the truth? Or at least let me go with you to the Shaman since the two of us are the ones that need to go back” you replied

“Fine. We’ll both go to the Shaman and once we got the answer from them, we’ll both go back to the others and tell them the truth” Yuta replied whilst hugging you, comforting you in the process

The next day came sooner than you’d like. You were getting better and luckily enough, the nurse allowed you to be discharged. Yuta helped you get up and the two of you head out as early as possible. Mainly to avoid the other guys.

The two of you walked through the woods you went through the other day and made your way to the Shaman’s place. Once the two of you reached the place, you noticed that the Shaman was doing their daily activities but stopped the moment the two of you stopped right in front of their house.

“Begone you two lost souls” the shaman stated as the two of you stopped in your tracks

“Since you already know who we are, I’ll get straight to the point. How the hell do we get back to our own universe? Clearly, this universe isn’t ours” Yuta blurted out, trying to get close but for some reason it was as if there was an invisible barrier preventing him

“It’s not about how you get back. But about you truly letting go of this universe. All you had to do to get back was find me but it looks like one of you isn’t ready to go back just yet” the Shaman stated, looking at you specifically

“Not just her though. The boy in this universe is also not ready to let her go just yet” the Shaman added on, making the two of you confused

“(y/n)…” Yuta whispered, facing towards you but his gaze was somewhere else

Just as you turned around and followed Yuta’s gaze did you finally understand. Tsukasa and some of the other Oya High students were there along with other guys from Housen, Suzuran and even Senomon High.

“Tsukasa…” you whispered out, tears were finally starting to fall one after the other while Tsukasa looked at both you and Yuta in disbelief

“You lied. All this time. Both of you. We were all foolish to let you both, especially you…” Tsukasa stated, looking deeply into your figure. “I was foolish to think that we could actually connect. That we have some sort of bond” Tsukasa spotted, his words were practically like acupuncture needles but sharper and would prick deeper into your skin

“Tsukasa. Chotto matte kudasai (wait for a moment). Let me explain…” you tried to reason but Tsukasa already turned his back on you

“Go home (y/n). Your actual friends are probably waiting for you. I won’t hold you back. Goodbye (y/n)” Tsukasa stated about to walk away but stopped when you had an outburst

“How the hell am I supposed to go back knowing that you probably hate me?! I can’t go back even more now” you exclaimed, not holding back anymore tears

“That was on you. You knew where you came from. You knew that you didn’t belong here. Yet you still like as if you were part of this world” Tsukasa shouted back, making you flinch since you have never seen him get angry before

“Ya, Tsukasa. Say anything hurtful towards her again, I’ll knock you out again. You think someone can prevent themselves from feeling how they felt?! Don’t say shit like this when you too also felt something” Yuta growled back, making Tsukasa even more pissed off that he went and stood in front of Yuta and faced him

“You also have no say in this, Suzaki. Or whoever you are in his body” Tsukasa spotted but was immediately welcomed by Yuta’s punch

“You can say whatever shit you want about me but not her. You have no fucking idea how hard it was for her to hold herself back. Not to mention the way you first treated her. Yes, perhaps it was wrong of her to get close with the others. But you also didn’t give her a warm welcome, now did you? Yet yesterday you seemed to be the most fired up when she was hurt and now you’re saying as if her feelings weren’t valid at all” Yuta argued, throwing punches and kicks at Tsukasa which turned the whole meeting into an actual fight

The two didn’t back down for even just a breather. Yuta would throw punches whereas Tsukasa would dodge them and try to hit back. You were sick and tired of all this fighting which happened because of you that you decided that you should put an end to it but right when you were interrupting them, Tsukasa accidentally hit your side and you stumbled and fall, holding your sides while coughing out.

The second Tsukasa hit you, Yuta instinctively grabbed you as all the others that were there went to see if you were alright. Despite you and Yuta somewhat deceiving everyone, they all still cared about the two of you. Fujio especially held Tsukasa back and smacked his friend for what he had just done.

“YA!!! Wake up Tsukasa!! Do you not realise what you’re doing?!” Fujio shouted at his friend, punching him that Tsukasa was now on the ground yet his eyes never leaving your sight

“Ryo was right. You didn’t even consider how she must’ve felt. She’s not completely at fault. You were the one that told me that you also caught feelings yet now it seemed like you’re blaming it all on her? Look at where that anger brought you!!” Fujio rambled, gripping his hair out of frustration of his own friend

“Fujio!!!” Yuta shouted at the leader of Oya, grabbing everyone’s attention. “We’ll stay here. It’s best that the two of us distance ourselves from everyone. Especially (y/n). At least let me take care of her first before I explain everything to you all. I owe you all that” Yuta stated as Fujio nodded as a sign of acknowledgement

Thankfully, the Shaman allowed both Yuta and you to stay at their place, saying that it would be easier for the two; especially when the two are ready to go back to their own universe. Once Yuta helped you, he told you to rest and to figure out your own feelings as he was going to explain to the others what actually happened.

“I should go too. It’s not just you. I was the one who was most at fault” you mumbled, making Yuta sit back down beside you

“We all make mistakes (y/n). But don’t you ever think for a second that your feelings were not valid. If Tsukasa can’t man up and understand then he doesn’t deserve your feelings. I’m also just going to tell them about what actually is happening so that they would hopefully understand” Yuta replied back, tucking you in bed

“Yuta…” you breathed out, holding his hand, Yuta turned to wait for your statement. “Thank you. When we get back, I think I owe you that omakase dinner you wanted” you chuckled, making Yuta smile

“I look forward to it. I’ll be back” Yuta replied, patting your head then left to explain to the others who were waiting outside of the Shaman’s house

“Honestly, I didn’t expect that all of you would still be here” Yuta stated, putting his hands in the pocket of his pants

“We all wanted to know the truth. After then will we decide” Fujio stated as the others agreed

Yuta then told everyone the truth. How he and you were not from this universe and instead in a universe where he and most of the other High and Low characters are singers; which clearly shocked everyone. In addition, Yuta also told them all that in their universe, you were a close friend of his and was also a fan of everyone in the High & Low universe.

“So basically, all of us have an alternate self in your universe and even if you guys go back, there will be another us over there?” Fujio asked excitedly, making Yuta giggle

“Yes. There are you guys in our universe as well. But I will say this Tsukasa. Even if there is another you in our universe. (y/n) already had an attachment with you as a character but now I guess it’s safe to say that she truly has an attachment with you and even if she has to let everything that has happened here go, she will still have some sort of attachment towards you but not just as a character but an actual person” Yuta explained, silence immediately filled the air

It was when Yuta explained to Tsukasa did he realise that you clearly had more to lose since once you go back, you will have to continue with the fact that all of this might just seem like a dream since in your world, everyone in this world is basically fiction. Knowing that he doesn’t have much time left with you, Tsukasa just wanted to have one final conversation with you. To hopefully bring closure to the both of you before you both part ways. And hopefully not have any regrets when you two actually part ways.

“Hey…How are you feeling?” Tsukasa softly whispered, noticing that you were wide awake and sitting on the bed

“Hey…Am better now. Now I know why they call you the sleeping lion” you joked as Tsukasa went to sit next to you

“About what happened. I’m sorry. I really am. I was just mad about the sudden discovery that all I think about was if you hadn’t been so close to everyone, it wouldn’t be that hard to let go. But after what Ryo, I mean, Yuta said, I tried to see it from your shoes and I’m sorry. I just hope that we can have some closure and well” Tsukasa rambled, stuttering with his words, especially with the next words that he’s going to say. “I do like you too and I know this might seem a bad timing since you want to go back to your own universe but I just feel the need to say it because I don’t want to have any regrets. I know that it might be hard during the first few times after you leave but at least I won’t have any regrets. At least, I’m happy to be able to be honest with you about how I’ve felt” Tsukasa admitted as he held your hand in his

“Tsukasa…” you teared up, slightly hitting his chest while he hugged you, stroking your hair. “You really have one of the worst timing ever” you tried to joke as Tsukasa sighed in relief, holding you closer to him

As you slowly opened your eyes, you scanned your surroundings and found yourself back at Yuta’s apartment. Looking at your phone, you noticed that not much time passed back in your universe.

Sighing, you got up and found Yuta asleep on the floor. You shook Yuta a few times until he finally woke up. Chuckled at his current state, you told him that you were going to make breakfast which Yuta thank you for and hit the shower.

As you made breakfast, the doorbell to Yuta’s apartment rang. Quickly, you turned off the stove and headed to see who it was. To your surprise, it was Ryoki, Kazuma and Hokuto, all in their casual wear but presentable enough just like when you were in high school about to hang out at your friend’s place.

“Hi. Sorry, did we come at a wrong time?” Kazuma asked politely which you shake your head, reassuring them that they didn’t and invited them into the house

“Hey (y/n), who is…Oh, hi guys” Yuta stated, making his appearance as he was also dressed. “Ahh right. This is (y/n), my best friend since before I moved to Korea. (y/n), this is Kazuma, Hokuto and Ryoki. Well, she knows all of you because she’s a fan of the High & Low movies. Plus, she’s a big fan of Tsukasa” Yuta blurted, making you blush and hit his bicep playfully, trying to hide your shyness as the other 3 male in front of you giggle

“Well (y/n). Pleased to meet you and thank you for being a fan. I think we’ll get along pretty well” Hokuto exclaimed, giving you one of the biggest smile you’ve seen him do

A/N: yeap, this almost 6k fic took me practically a month to write :') Anyways, I hope that you guys enjoy it and wow, it's been 3 years since I'm on Tumblr. What a ride it is and don't worry, I don't plan on stopping soon. I just hope that everyone who has similar interest as I do can enjoy the stories that I put out

Also, if anyone wants to ramble about the H&L universe (ehem, Amamiya brothers), please don't be scared to talk to me or send me a message or even a request because I'd be happy to do some H&L fanfics as I have not seen much of it :') Alright, I need to sleep (as of writing this). Thank you all for reading and sticking by for the past 3 years or so. Stay safe and may you always be happy :) xoxo Vinet

[inlibrariusvenefica]

My Solar Return 2024-2025

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

SR 2024 chart time! I'm about a month early with this, but whatever

Solar Return AC at 12° Taurus= With a Taurus ascendant, I may be approaching this year in a chill way or a lazy way or a conservative way, and may need to pay attention to my neck, ears, chin, larynx, lower lip, base of my skull, pharynx, mouth (in general), throat, or vocal chords. I might come across as affectionate, careful, patient, sensual, conservative, hedonistic, or materialistic this year. My SR AC falls into my natal 12H (anxieties, asylums, charities, cheating, hidden enemies, confidential matters, deceit, delusion, drugs, grief, hidden places, hospitals, imprisonment, "karma", secret love affairs, meditation, misfortune, occultism, psychism, occult religions, restrictions, secret societies, scandals, self destruction, solitude, the sea, sufferings, unhappiness). Since Taurus is a fixed sign, this year may be stable with not much going on.

6H Sun= Health is a concern. Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Emphasis is on the daily details of work; your profession is stable and you will be aware of immediate job issues. Reevaluate work routines and make adjustments if needed. Reorganization and mergers can happen.

Sun in a Cadent House= most activity happening in the last 4 months of the SR year

9H Moon= Reevaluate all beliefs in light of practical applications to daily situations. Personal philosophy should help you cope with everyday situations and issues facing you. There might be times when you find you can't reconcile higher knowledge with practical experience. Old beliefs may be outdated. Don't accept any higher knowledge blindly.

Capricorn Moon= Focus is on work. Maybe emotionally withdrawn and like being alone. Reputation may change for better or for worse.

First Quarter Moon= Breaking point. Finalizing plans. Progress

6H Mercury= A need to evaluate your health. Make choices that will have a positive effect on your health. Learn about health topics to make good decisions that will improve health. May be anxious about health. Job may get more detail oriented. Look for improvements that can be made to make daily operations in job smoother.

7H Venus= Important to relate positively to others. Your ability to create and sustain good relationships affects your ability to be successful. Learn to be compromising. Can benefit from connections with others. Be careful not to give up your personal freedom.

3H Mars= Ability to speak to others in order to get them to act. Assertive, direct, and to the point. Sharp mind. Energy and enthusiasm in speech and thinking. Watch out for losing your temper or refusing to compromise. Good time for learning.

2H Jupiter= Good financial situation or improvement of financial situation. Watch out for increased spending. May make money doing what fulfills you. Increase in self confidence.

11H Saturn= Need to reassess goals for the future. Working with a group of people may help you be more disciplined and organized. Working for the sake of a group. Might feel restricted working in a group. Might lose friendships in a way. May make serious or older friends. Wage freezes or delayed raises may happen.

1H Uranus= Major change in lifestyle or appearance. Time for a fresh start. Behavior might be disruptive or unpredictable. May form new unconventional relationships. Dramatic transitions.

11H Neptune= Develop spiritual bond with others. May be sensitive to needs of your friends. Spiritual connections. Watch out for savior-victim relationships. May have uncertain goals.

10H Pluto= Career or destiny transition. If you don't lose or change your job, may get more authority through promotion. If current job is stagnant, you may put life back into it. Push for success in job. Power issues. Conflicts with authority figures possible.

SR MC falls in natal 9H= Learning for work.

Other Points:

Vertex conjunct Juno (by 2°)= may have fated meeting with a "soulmate" or an ideal person

Vertex in 6H= fated events in job environment, health, daily routines

Starr (not shown) conjunct Part of Fortune (by 1°)= lucky/fame. SR Starr conjunct SR POF is conjunct natal Juno (not shown), may find ideal partner who brings fame

Cancer 4H= emotional, sensitive home life

SR chart ruler in SR 7H= focus on relationships this year

Part of Fortune in 10H= career and reputation may go well

Chiron in 12H= moving on, letting go of things that caused stress

Saturn sextile Ascendant= Seen as mature and an authority