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ivystoryweaver · 6 months ago

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It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This has been in my drafts for a year, enjoy that

Poe Dameron Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summary: You expected your best friend to be as optimistic about Life Day as he is about everything else. But he's different this year. (This is set after the events of The Last Jedi if you're interested in the timeline)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Content: Poe is a sad/tipsy/handsy puppy, angst, inebriation, drinking, kissing, misunderstandings, discussions of death, probably inaccurate Life Day nonsense, friends to lovers, pining, this boy's trauma deserves some attention ok

Poe wasn't at breakfast.

He missed your morning run together.

Life Day spirit was in the air and General Organa had released as much personnel as could be managed, particularly those who celebrated.

Maybe Poe headed back to Yavin 4 without mentioning anything?

Your best friend usually told you everything, so if he left without saying goodbye...

"Have you seen Poe?" You asked a few dozen people throughout the day, even going so far as to find General Organa, pleading with her to tell you if he was off on a solo mission, or a secret one.

She assured you she had ordered no such mission.

So where was he?

Deciding to head back to your room to change for the festivities, you tried to shake off the anxiety prickling your skin. After a quick trip to the fresher, you put on your best outfit - which was basically the only thing you owned that wasn't Resistance-issued attire.

Upon checking Poe's room one final time, you reluctantly made your way to the mess hall, which, for the people remaining at the Resistance base, would serve as a dance floor.

Colorful strings of lights illuminated the dimly lit room, mismatchedbulbs from droids and ships and even various lanterns. Trinkets special to Resistance members were strung up here and there - good luck charms and souvenirs from missions - anything that would reflect and sparkle and shine.

As if holiday magic itself was guiding you, the sparkle of a familiar gold necklace glinted, catching your eye. All the sudden, there he was, sitting in a corner, surrounded by people, slurring his way through a story of battle glory.

Shit, he was already tipsy? Not good.

His dark brown eyes brightened as they landed on you.

"There you are," he laughed out, reaching out for you, suddenly ignoring the others vying for his attention. "I was just talking about you, come here."

Despite the fact that he was nestled in a corner booth, he insisted you shimmy your way to sit down beside him.

"Poe, it's okay, there's no room. I can just - "

"Nooo, 'sokay," he waved his hand dismissively before reaching up to pull on your sleeve. "Sit with me, right here. Been waiting for you."

Poe was so damn stubborn when he'd been drinking...which is how you ended up smooshed up against his side, halfway on his lap.

"You smell so good," he murmured, burying his nose behind your ear as his arm slid around your waist.

Nudging him with your shoulder, you couldn't help but smile. "How much have you had to drink? It's early."

The corner of his mouth curled knowingly as he touched his forehead to yours. "Started early. You weren't here to stop me."

Your face heated up at how flirty he seemed this evening. "What are you talking about? I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Not everywhere or you would have found me here," he shrugged, pushing his half empty drink toward you. "Gotta catch up."

"Uh, no thank you," you giggled, trying to find a comfortable sitting position that didn't land you all the way in Poe's lap. On second thought, maybe if you finished Poe's drink, you could keep an eye on what else he chose to imbibe for the rest of the evening.

"Actually, give me that." You downed it in a couple gulps, to Poe's great amusement and a whoop from your table mates.

"Okay, okay, you have to play the game too," a fellow pilot informed you, nodding to a cheap looking bottle of something or other in the middle of the table. "Truth or dare?"

You glared over at Poe. "Truth or dare? How old are we?"

"Four-hundred thirty-seven," an alien pilot opposite you teased. "Haven't played Truth or Dare since I was around two-hundred."

"Exactly," you decided to let a couple of centuries make your point.

"Come onnn, play with us," Poe breathed on your ear, goosing your ribs, which sent your backside jerking against his thigh as you shrieked in surprise. You nearly lost your balance, but Poe wrapped his arms around your torso to steady you.

"Truth or dare?" You were asked again.

With a groan, you decided on truth.

"You've hooked up with Commander Dameron," she declared. Everyone at the table leaned in, ready for your answer. You should have known.

"No, I haven't. That's the truth."

"Commander?" She challenged, fact-checking your statement with Poe.

"Don't ask me, it's not my turn," he mysteriously shrugged, which elicited some 'oooh's' and made you groan.

The game continued until it was Poe's turn. He choose truth and was posed the same question as you. His answer confirmed yours - no hookups between you. That fact didn’t stop his thumb from languidly tracing circles on your stomach as he held onto you.

On your next turn, you tried to avoid another probing question by choosing dare.

"Kiss Commander Dameron," the older alien pilot challenged. You felt a chuckle rumble in his chest.

"Fine," you shrugged, turning your head to peck him on the cheek. A chorus of 'boo's' went up, but you silenced them, letting them know they didn't specify where or how you had to kiss Poe.

So, naturally, when it was Poe's turn, he chose dare, and was dared to kiss you. On the mouth.

"Okay, time for bed," you decided, attempting to climb out of your crowded seat and off Poe's thigh, which you were certain had fallen asleep by now underneath your weight.

"Aw, don't go," Poe complained, keeping a loose hold on your wrist, but not holding you back, in case you really wanted to leave. "It won't be Life Day without you. Promise I won't kiss you."

Your eyes met his and you swore you saw a flicker of sadness dance across them. "Okay, I'll stay, but no more Truth or Dare." Hitching your thumb at your table mates you whispered, "They're ganging up on us."

"Then let's go dance," Poe proposed, releasing your wrist and clambering out of the booth and onto the dance floor. Just to make you laugh, he did a silly twirl and struck a pose before offering his hand. “Shall we?”

"Wow, you are so drunk," you cackled taking his hand and following him willingly.

You made it to the middle of the makeshift dance floor, and he pulled your hand to his chest, slipping his other arm around your waist as you began to sway to the music.

Smiling at him sweetly, you released his hand, pushing your fingers up over the exposed skin of his chest, revealed by one too many buttons unfastened. Not that you were complaining. Up your fingers traced, toying with the chain nestled there, over the smooth column of his neck. His throat bobbed under your touch.

Looping your arms around his neck, you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth, swaying back and forth with a silly, dramatic flare, which earned a chuckle from Poe. His hands found your hips and squeezed, dragging you closer until your chest pressed against his and his forehead dropped to yours.

"What is going on with you?" You murmured, heart fluttering in your chest as you attempted to keep your wits about you.

"Nothing, just...really glad you're here. Missed you today," he whispered, alcohol tinged breath ghosting your lips.

"Could've fooled me. I couldn't find you anywhere, Poe. I thought you went back home for Life Day without even telling me."

"Without you? No," he shook his head as if trying to clear the cobwebs. "Not without you. Without telling you, I mean."

“But I couldn’t find you,” you insisted, resisting the urge to toy with the curls at the base of his neck. It felt good to be close to him - to have his attention. But he wasn't in his right mind and you couldn't take advantage of your friendship. "I thought maybe you were avoiding me. I was worried."

His gaze dropped, jaw clenching as your swaying eased to a stop. "I'm sorry."

In a group, drinking and telling stories, he could keep up a festive facade but you saw right through him.

"Hey," you softly redirected his gaze back to yours. "It's Life Day. You love Life Day. Right? The tree and the lights?"

"Yeah," he whispered, eyes flickering down to your lips. "I just...I'm not feeling so festive this year."

Stepping back, you ran your palms down his arms and took his hands. "Wanna get out of here? Let's get some air. We can look at the tree."

He nodded, following your lead out into the night, gripping your hand as if you might evaporate right before his eyes if he let go.

You walked quietly for several moments, cheeks burning as a few passersby noticed you holding hands with the Commander, prompting you to finally release your hold. Without the tether, Poe’s walking slowed, turning into a listless stumble, which was how you realized he might not be in any shape to take a stroll through the woods.

Perhaps he was better off tucked into a booth, surrounded by people. The fact that you misread the situation and his needs brought a wave of trepidation and regret. You stopped walking and turned to him, pressing your palms against his chest.

It took his mind a second to catch up, so you guided him around the side of the closest building - closed for the holiday. Steadying him up against the wall, with hands on his chest once more, you apologized. “I should take you back to your room.”

Gripping your elbows, he stared at you so intently it made your knees go weak. As your body swayed into his, he wrapped his arms around you, gathering you close. Mistaking it for a hug, albeit an intimate one, you turned your head to lay it on his chest, but his mouth met yours, capturing your lips in a breathy kiss.

All the air rushed out of you as he tasted you, spreading his hand over the curve of your back and pressing and pulling you into him harder. The heat of his tongue and the solid warmth of his body consumed you utterly and you found yourself kissing him back with fervor.

The sound of voices and a clattering bottle nearby jolted you out of...whatever this was, sending you stumbling back, dazed. You felt as drunk as Poe apparently was, but from him alone rather than the half drink you’d downed.

Poe, mistaking your withdrawal as rejection, reached for your arms, murmuring, "No, no, I'm sorry, don't go."

Noticing his obvious distress, you allowed his touch, gripping his biceps through his leather jacket. "It's okay. I'm here," you breathlessly gasped, mind reeling and heart pounding. "Let me take you back."

"I don't want you to go," he whimpered, grip on your forearms tightening. "Don't be mad. I don't want...I can't - "

"Hey," you soothed, touching his cheek to direct his bleary gaze to yours. "I won't leave you. Not ever."

This seemed to appease him and he followed your lead back to his room. Your instincts seemed to somehow be way off with him tonight, and you regretted tearing him away from the fun he seemed to be enjoying before you interrupted.

Maybe it was you. Perhaps that's why he'd avoided you all day. Hot tears burned your eyes as you guided him to lie down on his bed. As he pleaded with you not to go, again, you hushed him, swearing you wouldn't.

You worked his boots off his feet before helping him sit up to remove his jacket. Climbing into bed, you wrapped your arms around him, guiding him to lie down on your lap. His distress calmed almost instantly as he murmured, "thank you" a few times, burying his nose in your tummy.

"Love you so much," he whispered so faintly, you convinced yourself he must have said something else.

Raking your fingers through his slightly damp curls, you shushed him a few times, realizing you'd never seen him like this. Tipsy? Yes. Drunk? Maybe once or twice. Handsy? Always. But broken? Not like this.

He fell asleep in minutes and only then, did you let tears escape your eyes. Before long, you felt your eyes grow heavy, so you worked your way down onto the bed, hoping not to wake Poe.

Somehow, exhaustion mingled with the pounding in your heart - from worry, from sharing Poe's bed, from the flavor of alcohol on your lips from his kiss. And from the words he uttered - things he probably wouldn't even remember.

Sleep finally came, granting you both reprieve.

The next morning, you awoke while there was barely light in the sky. Since Poe was still asleep, you decided to freshen up a bit and get him some toast and something hot to drink. You crept out of his room and back again as quietly as you could manage.

Upon your return, you were surprised to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows digging into his knees and head in his hands. Dark curls tumbled over his fingers, obscuring his handsome face from you. His shoulders slumped defeatedly.

"Hey there," you softly greeted, presenting the tray of bland food and hot tea to him like an offering. "How are you feeling?"

"Like an asshole," he lamented, voice muffled by his hands.

"Well, I'm used to that," you attempted lightly. "But you had a lot to drink last night. What was that about?"

Raking his fingers down his face, he managed to face you then, eyes bloodshot and lips parched. It was kind of endearing to see him not looking completely perfect for once.

"First of all, tell me how pissed you are. I can take it." He visibly withdrew, waiting for your verdict on how he behaved last night.

"I'm not pissed," you assured him, "just really worried. Why don't you eat something and then we can talk?"

After Poe choked down some toast, you decided to swing by your room and change while he visited the fresher. You promised to return, and when you did, he was waiting for you with open arms.

Folding you close, he breathed on your ear how sorry he was, over and over, while you pressed your nose to the clean scent of his damp neck, exposed by the clean, thin shirt he wore.

Easing back, you reached to toy with the wet curls flipping out behind his ear. "What are you sorry for?"

"Where do I begin?" He scoffed, his gaze dropping. "I ruined your Life Day. I ignored you all day. Kissed you."

"So...you're sorry for kissing me," you clarified, your stomach dropping.

"Yes. No." He shook his head, confused. "I didn't want to be alone." He winced, regretting the words as they left his mouth.

Your jaw clenched as you struggled to maintain your composure. "So you're sorry for kissing me? Or you're sorry that you kissed me while you were drunk, just so you wouldn't be alone?"

Pacing away, one hand landed on his hip while the other tore through his hair. "That's not what I meant. I...I was trying to forget everything and just drink and have fun, but not with you."

Shit. Wrong wording. Again.

"So, that's why you avoided me all day." It wasn't a question. The realization of it stole your breath from your lungs and you sank down on the bed as tears burned your eyes.

"No, baby. No." Poe was quick to kneel down before you, reaching desperately for your hands. "This is...shit, this is coming out all wrong." Seeing tears pool in your beautiful, shining eyes seared his insides with guilt and shame - his companions ever since the events leading up to the Battle of Crait.

"Tell me what's going on," you whispered. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," he insisted, bringing your fingers to his lips and kissing them urgently.

"Too many people have died," he finally confessed, his head bowed and his voice a broken whisper. "It was supposed to be Life Day, but there's only death. We lost over half the fleet."

"I know."

"So many families couldn't celebrate Life Day. Too many." His eyes met yours, wet with fresh tears. "And how many of them are dead because of me?"

"Poe, we all know what we're signing up for when we join. We're all ready to give our lives, you know that. You can't possibly take the blame for what the First Order has done to us."

"There's blame enough for me to share, believe me," he insisted. "And I just couldn't hang anything on the tree yesterday and celebrate life. Not with over half of us gone."

Eyeing him sympathetically, you squeezed his hands. "Life Day isn't only about being alive. Death is a part of life. Life Day is also about remembering the dead. And part of living is grieving the dead, and sometimes feeling a little guilty that you're still here."

“But I don’t, though,” he admitted. “I’m glad I’m here, and more than that, I’m glad you’re here. You, most of all. You're the one person I don't wanna...that I can't..."

"Come here," you coaxed. Poe joined you on the bed but never let go of your hands. "You're my one person too, you know. The person I look for after every mission. The one person I need to be okay.

"It scared me so much yesterday when I couldn't find you," you went on.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. "Please don't hate me for yesterday. It's been a long time since I had that much to drink. I know it's no excuse for what I did."

"So you don't remember, then...what you said?" You should have known Poe would only kiss you and utter heartfelt confessions when he was wasted.

Releasing your hand, he titled your chin up to meet his gaze. "I know what I said. I do love you. Always have." A nervous, breathless laugh escaped his perfect lips. "But I understand, you know, if you don't - "

You silenced him, pressing your mouth to his for a tender kiss. "Believe me. I do."

The sadness lingering behind his eyes started to seep away, replaced by a flicker of hope. "Is there any way we could re-do yesterday?" He proposed, tracing the shape of your jaw. "I only have one meeting today."

"That sounds perfect," you agreed, leaning into his touch.

Hand in hand, you visited the Life Day tree, said the prayers, remembered those lost. Then you had something to drink with friends - just one though, before dancing and laughing all evening.

When he kissed you this time, he meant to do it, and everyone saw it. And when you walked back to his room, he asked you to stay. And you did. Every night.

1000 Follower/Holiday Celebration Masterlist

Poe Dameron Masterlist | Main Masterlist

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #life day #star wars #poevember

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goosewriting · 4 months ago

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Our New Empire

summary: reader and Cal dress up for a costume party and share a moment alone.

relationship: college!AU Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: fluff, maybe second-hand embarrassment lol, kissing

word count: 1.5k

A/N: inspiration struck just in time for valentine’s day! this one’s for @soka-writes-things <3 thank you for your support always and for your patience, this took a while :’) <3 this is technically a spin-off to class is now in session. i hope you’ll enjoy all the meta references xD

[all masterlists] 🪶 [star wars masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Every year, the university would host a handful of events, mainly for the freshmen to meet new people and explore the campus. Many of the older students still like to attend, though; the university does know how to throw a party, after all. You’ve been looking forward to it for months, and even pitched an idea to your faculty to make it a costume party. To your delight, everyone was immediately on board.

Luckily, the organisation went without a hitch, and everyone even pitched in for food and decor. Since the event would become more of a party than anything else, the university would allow for it to still be held in one of the bigger halls, with the condition that there’d be an assigned group of people who’d stay and clean up afterwards. So the faculty held two raffles: one for prizes and one for the clean-up crew. The latter was announced before the event, and you and Cal both got drawn. But neither of you minded, as some of your friends got drawn too, so at least you know you’d have a good time with them.

As for the party, you decided to dress up as Jedi Knights from that one movie, ‘Galactic Conflicts’. When you found out that Cal is also a fan, you were delighted, and you easily settled on matching costumes. Others also wore costumes from the franchise, and you’d go up to them with your plastic sword and challenge them to a duel, quoting some lines here and there, happy when they’d play along.

An hour or so into the party, you start to feel your shenanigans catching up to you. The air in the main hall, which has been converted into a dance floor, is pretty stuffy, and the bass thrums in your ears. The several layers of robes you’re wearing are starting to cling to your skin since you’ve been running around, taking your Jedi role very seriously. So you decide to step outside for a while, and look for Cal while you’re at it. You lost your companion a while ago in the colourful mass of people.

You navigate through the crowd, careful not to hit anyone with your sword, and head for one of the exits that leads onto an elevated patio. The evening air is pretty cool, and you breathe in deeply, welcoming the sensation. With your hands on your hips, you stand by the railing, looking down at the cobblestone path that snakes around a small pond. You wonder if there’s any fish in there, and if so, if you could get the chance to feed them.

“Hello there!”

You recognise the voice, and turn around with a chuckle, shaking your head. Standing on one of the nearby benches is Cal, his arm extended, sword aimed at you. The lamp post shines a halo-like light over him, his copper hair glistening with specks of red and gold, contrasting his dark robes.

“General Kestis,” you respond, playing along.

”I have the high ground,” he continues, striking a silly heroic pose from where he looms over you.

”That’s not how the lines go!” you laugh, and he shrugs, giving you a lopsided smile.

“I was looking for you,” he says.

”Yeah?” You lift your sword, shifting into a battle pose. “You want me to kick your butt again?”

”I’m afraid it won’t be so easy this time,” he says, flicking the switch on his sword to elicit a whirring sound effect, and the blue colour changes to red. “I’ve turned to the dark side. It’s Darth Kestis, now.”

You hum, not bothering to cover the fact that you’re checking him out.

“I have to say, for a Sith Lord, you look really good,” you say, and Cal breaks character for a split second when he can’t hold back the smile spreading on his face. But he’s quick to return to his serious expression, jumping down from his bench and coaxing you to approach with his free hand.

”En garde!” you exclaim, holding your sword up, and he mirrors you so that your weapons form an X.

”That’s not-“ he breaks again with a chuckle, shaking his head. “Ah, never mind. Let’s go!”

You two play fight for a while, adding your own sound effects when your swords clash, throwing banter back and forth, switching to slow motion for particularly cool moves. It doesn’t take long for you to break out in laughter at the silly antics, unable to hold back any longer. This means you let your guard down, and in one swift move he swipes your sword from your hands, caging you against the railing.

“Gotcha,” he says, panting softly; you two really took this seriously and are slightly out of breath.

”Oh no, whatever shall I do,” you say in mock distress, bringing the back of your hand to your forehead in an exaggerated manner. But the grin on your face betrays you. “So tell me, Darth Kestis. Did you perchance grow very powerful now that you’ve turned? Brought peace to the Republic?”

“Indeed,” Cal responds, turning both swords off and clipping them to his belt. He places his hands on the railing on either side of you.

“What about the younglings?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at him.

”All safely evacuated, of course,” he retorts, looking like he might add something else, but he decides against it. Instead, he continues, “I’ve brought peace, justice, freedom and security to our new Empire. I’ll overthrow the Chancellor. We can rule the galaxy together. You know how it goes.”

His tone is so matter-of-fact, you raise a brow at him with a chuckle.

”So, will you join me? To rule together?” he asks, his tone surprisingly earnest, and it kind of makes your heart flutter a bit.

Cal pushes himself off the metal bar, standing in front of you with an extended hand. In your mind, you can perfectly imagine your surroundings on the lava planet, everything bathed in reds and oranges. You give him a knowing smile, sighing dramatically.

”You know I always say the Queen should have gone with Vader.” Taking a step closer, you place your hand in his, and he brings it up to his lips to place a kiss on your knuckles. Without letting go, he lets his arm fall back down again.

“So, what should our first official decree be?” he asks, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand as he comes even closer. You hum, as if musing it over, deep in thought. His face is so close to yours, you can feel his breath fanning over your cheeks.

”Free healthcare for everyone,” you start, and he hums in agreement. “Retirement plans for the Clones. Guaranteed food and housing for all inhabitants.”

“Anything else?” he asks in a whisper, his lips brushing over your ear, sending tingles all over your skin.

“And once the government stabilises a bit, I’ll bring you back to the light.”

Cal stops his ministrations, pulling back to look at you in surprise.

“Emperor or not,” you continue, bringing your free hand to cup his face. “I’d never let you lose yourself.” At this point, the line between reality and role-play is blurred. You swallow, feeling the heat rush to your face as you add, “You mean too much to me. I’d never give you up.”

Cal’s brows furrow for a moment, then an unreadable expression washes over his face, and you fear you’ve ruined the moment. You open your mouth to say something, but your words get swallowed by his lips capturing yours. A squeak of surprise escapes you as he kisses you with urgency, but you reciprocate, bringing your arms around him to pull him closer. Cal’s hands sneak around your waist, slipping underneath the outermost layer of robes which aren’t cinched by the belt, hugging you to him.

After breaking for air momentarily, he tilts his head slightly and kisses you again, this time much calmer. He pushes against you and you take a couple steps back until your backside hits the railing, where the kisses shift into a slow make-out.

“Hey lovebirds!” a voice calls out to you suddenly, and you both flinch in surprise. Cal takes a step back to give you some space, holding onto your hand as he turns to the patio door. Sabine and Ezra wave at you from there and call you inside, several more heads peeking out as well to see the spectacle, and you hear a whistle or two accompanied by cheering.

You groan in embarrassment, burying your face into Cal’s shoulder, who laughs heartily, and you feel it vibrate through your whole body, heart still racing.

”We’ll be right there!” Cal calls to the group, then turns back to you. He places one last kiss on your temple as he unclips your sword from his belt, offering it to you.

“Ready to go recruit more people for our cause?” he asks with his boyish smile that you love so much.

You bring your hand up to run through his hair, smoothing it down a bit after messing it up, then take the weapon from his hand.

“And take down anyone who stands in our way,” you reply, placing a quick kiss on the tip of his nose as you take off. “Race you!”

”Hey, no fair!” he calls after you with a laugh, already spotting another Jedi in the crowd. Truth is, he didn’t care if he turned to the dark or light, as long as he was with you.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght @galaxtic-writings @kalea-bane @padawancat97 @riddikulus-obsessions @optimisticprime3 @starilicious @ivelostmyabilitytoeven @alternatescififandomelover @lovelyygirl8 @cathyket @wildefire @ghostkestis @reckoning-star @wyvernthekriger @padawan-solimar @batboysandgirls @toelady @hardkiddonut @theblazes-world @bluesprings18 @call-me-a-fool @braveangel780 @mmcringelordmcgee

#goose feathers #cal kestis x reader #star wars cal x reader #jedi fallen order x reader #jedi survivor x reader #star wars x reader

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panravenc · 1 month ago

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desert husbands: track one, a codywan playlist.

i. the great war by taylor swift

all that bloodshed / crimson clover, sweet dream was over / my hand was the one you reached for / all throughout the great war

trust is hard to come by. but as battles pass, as the blood piles up, cody learns obi-wan will always have his back; obi-wan learns cody will never let him down.

the war rages on, the sorrow drags on.

and in the midst of it all, it's each other they find solace with. alone, obi-wan always reaches for cody's hand. alone, cody allows their fingers to interlock.

in the battlefield, that warmth keeps them alive.

you drew up some good faith treaties / i drew curtains close, drank my poison all alone / you said i had to trust more freely / but diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

cody thinks he could drown in his general's ocean blue eyes, calm unlike kamino's seas. he thinks, sometimes, that if obi-wan asked, he would find the way to give him every star out in the night sky.

but obi-wan says after the war, and cody nods and wonders if such thing can even exist. but the jedi looks so sure of it, so gentle with it, that cody can't help but surrender.

even if every touch burns.

even if it's nothing but wretched hope for a clone.

it turned into something bigger / somewhere in the haze, got the sense i'd been betrayed

in the end, he was right. obi-wan asks himself a thousand questions, and never manages to answer why would cody, why would their troopers betray the jedi?

there is no after the war, and cody must be laughing, because he never believed in it, and maybe - maybe he knew what was coming.

obi-wan can't bring himself to fully believe it, because -

if cody knew all the while, if he never believed in them; why would his hands reach out for obi-wan's so reverently?

we can plant a memory garden / say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair / there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

on tatooine, obi-wan replays all his mistakes like a cheap holofilm that never ends. he guards luke, he tends to his herd, he repairs the vaporators.

and he remembers cody, and he still loves cody, even though the man tried to kill him.

of course he does, it's cody. how could he not?

there was no after, not for them. there was no morning in which they could bask in each other's company, no kiss of glory, no grin of victory.

there is just obi-wan, the desert, and the memory of cody's hand on his.

i vowed i would always be yours / if we survived the great war

they made a promise, once.

#pau writes #star wars #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #codywan #codywan playlist drabbles #just me on my feels lmao #i'll try write a little drabble for every song on that list

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thedarlingdearestdead · 2 years ago

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Serious:

Summary: Inspired by that line in Ahsoka - "Would you like me to be more serious?"

Warnings: Kissing? Angst? Fighting.

Word count: 1,125

The battle had been long, even now, hours after it ended and the Republic had come out victorious, you could feel the weariness in your bones. Maybe it was because you were still so surrounded by the consequences of the war. Bodies were being transported across the hall, people treated for their injuries, generals shouting over the din trying to issue orders of evacuation.

You just sat there and watched. Sitting on the ramp which led up to your ship that had not been cleared for safe flight. Waiting for a better mechanic than yourself to come fix it. Waiting for someone to help. You would have loved to just leave. Go back to the Jedi temple, back to the gardens, the library, The idea of sleeping and meditating, once so boring to you, seemed like a rescue after such trying days as these.

One of those loud Generals in particular caught your attention. Maybe it was because of his excessive volume or lightness of voice. Either way your eyes met the back of his head in a glare. Anakin Skywalker. He was engrossed in a heated discussion with Captain Rex, the leader of the 501st Legion.

You knew that Anakin had been through a lot during this battle. His skills as a pilot and a warrior were unmatched, but he had a tendency to take risks that left him and those around him in dangerous situations. It was one of the qualities that made him a formidable warrior but also a source of concern for the Jedi Council. His behaviour didn’t make him any less of a liability.

He was laughing. Men were being dragged across the room by their feet for lack of stretchers and he was laughing.

As you watched, Anakin suddenly turned, his eyes locking onto yours like he felt your glare. There was a flicker of recognition in his blue eyes, and he made his way towards you, his footsteps echoing in the cavernous hangar.

“Master L/N”

"Anakin," you responded coolly, not bothering to hide your disapproval at his behaviour.

"Something wrong?" he asked, his tone challenging, eyebrows raised.

You scoffed. “Evidently not, indeed it seems the war has not dimmed your spirit.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Levity is one thing, Anakin," you said sharply. "But this is not a time for jokes. Lives have been lost-“

“I know that.” He says sternly.

“Do you? It seems you couldn’t care less.”

“You want me to be more serious?”

“Yes”

"I care about the lives lost, L/N. You know that. But what good does it do to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves? We won this battle, and we need to start planning for the next one. Who are you helping? Sitting there, staring out into space- it’s miserable. It’s pathetic.”

“I’ll take that over callous.”

“Is that what you think of me?”

You sighed, feeling a sense of deep exhaustion wash over you. It was true that you were tired, physically and emotionally, but you refused to let your guard down around Anakin. His impulsiveness and lack of regard for consequences had caused trouble more times than you could count. You were grateful for his skills, but that didn't mean you had to approve of his attitude.

“I don’t know what I think of you.”

Your words hung in the air, the tension rising between the two of you. Anakin's expression was stony, his jaw set in a hard line. For a moment, it seemed like he might lash out at you, but then he sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped.

“Force, Y/N. Sometimes I just want to…”

You watched him for a moment, seeing something in his eyes that you couldn't quite place.

"Want to what, Anakin?" You prompted. He’s silent for a beat too long, studying you unnervingly. "You're not injured, are you?” You ask.

“No. Apologies Master L/N. For everything- my behaviour.”

You regarded Anakin with a mixture of surprise and concern. It wasn't often that you heard him apologise, especially not for something as ingrained in his character as his irreverent sense of humour and his tendency to shrug off any responsibilities.

“Please, allow me to take you to an alternative transport. Yours is… Smoking.”

He had a point and you didn’t really know how to refuse him, or respond in any other way than to follow him out of the hangar. The eyes of all remaining clones and junior Jedi following the two of you out.

The noise and chaos began to fade away until you were quite alone. That’s when he paused.

Anakin turned to face you, his expression unreadable. You couldn't help but feel a sense of unease creeping up your spine. It was rare to see him so serious, so contemplative. You had seen him in battle, watched as he faced down countless enemy soldiers with a fierce determination in his eyes, but this was different. This was something else entirely.

“You know, I can be very serious when I need to be.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, unable to decipher the meaning behind his words. Anakin had always been a puzzle to you, his emotions running deep and his thoughts often shrouded in mystery. You had learned to keep your distance, to stay professional and focused in his presence.

“I’m sure you can be, Anakin,” you said, keeping your tone neutral.

He took a step closer to you, his eyes searching your face.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I don't know what to believe," you admitted, feeling a sense of vulnerability that you rarely allowed yourself to feel. Anakin had a way of getting under your skin, of making you feel things that you didn't want to feel.

Anakin stepped closer to you, his face set in a serious expression. “Let me show you what I’m made of.”

Before you could respond, Anakin leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. You were taken aback by the suddenness of the kiss but found yourself unable to pull away. His lips were soft and warm against yours, and you felt a surge of desire rush through you.

As the kiss deepened, you felt yourself succumbing to the heat between you. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer to him. The smell of smoke and burnt metal filled your nostrils, but you didn't care. All that mattered was the feel of Anakin's body pressed against yours, the taste of his lips on yours.

But just as quickly as the kiss had started, it ended. Anakin pulled away, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. You couldn't bring yourself to say anything, for once you had nothing to say to him. He smirked.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #clone wars #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #star wars fanfiction #star wars prequels #star wars fandom #star wars #darth vader #tcw #ahsoka

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vodika-vibes · 3 months ago

Note

bly with a jedi shadow reader, maybe? like, maybe this shadow is in a similar position to rynn, squad assignment wise, and the squad teams up with the 327th for a missio ? could be a first meeting, could be them relaxing after a battle, could be something spicy. you've got free reign for context, vod'ika

The Dance

Summary: Dating a soldier in the middle of a war you’re both fighting is the height of bad judgment. But, even so, it doesn’t stop you.

Pairing: Commander Bly x Jedi Shadow GN! Reader

Word Count: 1333

Warnings: Uh...kind of bittersweet at the end, tbh

A/N: So I don't think this is exactly what you asked for, but I hope you like it anyway.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

War is hell. You’ve known this since you were a small child, when your Master had no choice but to turn you into a proper child soldier to help stop a civil war before it started. He promised that he would do all he could to prevent you from having to be in a war ever again.

Of course, that was always going to be a lie.

Your career has been you careening from one war to the next, all across the galaxy.

At this point, you know war better than you know peace.

And the Clone Wars are exactly the same as all of the other wars you’ve ever been involved in. The only difference is that this war gave the Jedi the Clones.

In your professional opinion, the Clones are probably the best thing to ever happen to the Jedi. Your own Squad (Havoc, Boomer, Blue, and Checkmate) are like the brothers you never knew you wanted, and they are both your biggest supporters, and your most fervent cheerleaders.

When you admitted that you had a crush on Commander Bly from the 327th, they teased you relentlessly about it for several months, and then stepped up to introduce you to him and let you have some alone time with him.

Really, it’s because of them that you found yourself in the position of Bly asking you to be his girlfriend.

Though, you would sooner shoot yourself in the head than admit that to them.

They already have massive egos, after all.

But tonight isn’t about them.

You, and your squad, have been given the night off. Your first night off in what feels like years, due to the nature of your job. And while your Squad is off to hang out with some brothers they haven’t seen in ages, you elected to take the night to have a proper date with Bly.

You glance at your chrono, sitting on your inner wrist, and you sigh.

You showed up early, because you were so eager for tonight, but time seems to have slowed to a crawl, and you’re starting to regret showing up as early as you did.

Bly will show, of course. You have no doubt about that.

You just have to wait for him to get here.

It’s only a couple of minutes later, when you’re starting to consider going and buying a cup of caf from the stall down the street, when you see the familiar figure of Bly approaching you.

He’s dressed down today. Well, he’s dressed up, really. A nice button up shirt and slacks, that make him look at the more attractive to your eyes. Though, you have to admit, he looks just as amazing in his armor.

“Am I late?” he asks as he moves into your personal space and slides his arms around you in a welcoming hug.

You eagerly lean into his touch, feeling more settled than you have in a while as you feel his warmth radiating off him, “No, I was early.”

“Eager?” His voice is lightly teasing as he bumps his forehead against yours.

“I haven’t seen you in six months.” You reply dryly, “Eager is kind of an understatement.”

His eyes soften, and he reaches up to cup your cheek with one calloused hand, “I missed you too, cyare. The late night comms just aren’t the same as being able to hold you when we talk.”

“And you only got to talk to me a few times,” You add as you lean your head into his touch, rubbing your cheek against the palm of his hand.

“Yeah, that too.”

You turn your head to kiss the palm of his hand, and feel him almost melt against you, “If I had the ability to comm you more often—”

“I’m not complaining, Sunshine. If I have to just not talk to you for a couple of months to ensure that you remain safe while you’re undercover, then it’s a sacrifice I’ll happily make.”

“And that’s why you’re perfect.”

He grins at you boyishly, the weight of war lifting from his shoulders the longer he’s with you, “But, I’m guessing we didn’t come here to talk about the war? I mean, I’ll talk to you about anything and everything under the sun. But I’d rather not talk about the war tonight.”

“Actually,” You lightly trail your hand down his chest, “I was thinking—hoping, really—that we could go dancing?”

“Yeah? I like the idea of that. But not many clubs are overly welcoming of people like me.” Bly points out.

“That’s actually why I asked you to come here,” You lean against him, “This club is owned by a friend, and she’s very welcoming of all sorts.”

“Even clones?”

“Well, I would say especially clones.” He shoots you a slightly confused look, so you clarify, “She’s dating one of your brothers. Doom, I think his name is? So she created this place. As an alternative to 79s. Clones get in free, because of obvious reasons, but everyone else has to pay.”

“Huh, well let’s check it out.”

Saphir, the newest club on Coruscant, is very nice. With cozy booths for couples to cuddle close, but also large booths for large groups, and a massive bar in the center of the room. The first floor is dedicated to club dancing, while the second floor is more designed for the slow dancing that some couples prefer. And the third floor? A proper restaurant that can be accessed without going through the club.

Your friend put a lot of money into this endeavor, and it shows.

Bly releases a low whistle, “Nice place.”

The club is slowly filling with young couples, and single clones, dancing wildly to the thrumming music.

There’s a nice energy flowing through the building, and while you’d normally be more than happy to tug Bly to the dance floor, you’re not in the mood for club dancing today. The very idea of having dozens of sweaty bodies pressed around you makes you want to gag.

So, instead, you take Bly’s hand and tug him to the stairs, leading him up to the second floor.

This floor is a lot less crowded, but even so there are over two dozen couples on the dance floor, wrapped up in each other to the point where they don’t even notice you or Bly.

The music flows, loud enough that the music is obvious, but not so loud that you’d have to shout to be heard.

It’s soft.

Romantic, even.

It’s perfect.

You flicker your gaze to Bly’s face, and see him already watching you. His small smile widens when he realizes that he has your attention, and he brings your hand to his lips.

Bly presses a light kiss to your knuckles, “May I have this dance, cyar’ika?” He asks against your knuckles.

“You can have all of them.” You reply.

He presses one more lingering kiss against your knuckles, and then he twirls you into his arms, and moves you to an open spot on the dance floor.

Now, you can ballroom dance with the best of them. You had to learn for a mission when you were a teenager, but this isn’t ballroom dancing.

This is Bly holding you tightly, his forehead pressed against yours. This is you with your arms around his neck, and enjoying holding him and being held by him. It’s both of you, swaying in time to the music while quietly talking to each other.

And you know, as you look into his eyes, that you’ll never love anyone the way you love him.

And you know, even if this ends in tragedy, even if it ends with you in tears and hurt, you wouldn’t give up this dance for all of the credits in the galaxy.

And so, you smile at him, “I love you, Bly.” It’s a soft admission.

And so, his eyes soften and his arms tighten around you, “I love you too.”

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#star wars #tcw #commander bly x reader #bly x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #gn!reader fic #answered asks

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rose-sophia-isabella-rogers · 7 months ago

Text

Written in the Stars: Chapter VII - A Tragedy

Chapter Summary: You're happy and sometimes forget the war rages on in the galaxy. Until it comes knocking on your door. An attack on your planet takes a lot from it… and you. You will need all the support you can get and your husband is there to provide it. What will you lose and what will you gain? And is the sun going to shine on you again?

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker/Reader

Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Reader, C-3PO, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Rex, Fives, Jesse, R2-D2, Mace Windu, Sheev Palpatine

Word Count: 8232

A/N: Warning: this chapter has heavy angst at the beginning. And smut at the end. Again, if you're underage or don't like reading such scenes, skip from: "He carries you to the bed and lays you down." to: "He kisses your forehead and pulls out.". Gif is not mine. The words of an oath are inspired by a real one. Enjoy!

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@drinix

@astro-kitty-launch

@nikiloveshayden

It's been almost three years since the Clone Wars have started. It seems odd to you. So many things have happened in such a short time. You fell in love (although you suspect your feelings for Anakin started blooming around the time you first met), got into a secret relationship and then got married. It seems it happened so fast to you. But you don't regret it. You've never been happier. But every once in a while, clouds cover the sun…

The day starts normally, innocently. You join your father and mother for meetings, work in your room, spend time with your family, go visit the people… Same day as every day.

But it changes when you take a walk. You do it because you're tired after having a difficult conversation with the Chancellor Palpatine over the holocoms. You need to clear your head, so you go with Lanash and C-3PO to the woods outside of the palace walls. It does relax you and allows you to find a peace of mind. Until there's an explosion behind your back.

'What on the gods?!' your maid shouts, holding to C-3PO to regain her balance, as the ground shakes from the impact. You turn around and your eyes go wide. There's smoke over the city. But what's even more horrifying, ships show up on the sky. So many of them.

'Oh no,' the droid gasps. 'Are we being invaded?'

'How they were not spotted?' Lanash asks with wide eyes. 'They shouldn't have entered the atmosphere if they have hostile intentions.'

You agree with her, so you immediately dial spaceships on guard duty. All lines are dead. You look with dread at your companions.

'I fear our atmosphere guard was either taken hostage… or they're all dead,' you say.

'What are we going to do?' Threepio asks. Instead of answering, you call someone else. You know your father is too busy at the moment. You have to call for help.

'Princess [Y/N], something the matter is?' Yoda's hologram asks.

'Master Yoda, our planet is under attack,' you say quickly. 'I don't know yet by whom. But our sky is dark from their ships. I fear our ships in the space that were supposed to protect and warn us are… gone. There's too many of them. I don't think we can battle them on our own.'

'Hold your ground, you must,' the Jedi says. 'Send help immediately, I will.'

'Thank you, Master Yoda,' you say, relieved.

'May the Force be with you, Your Highness.'

'And with you.'

You end the call. You look up. You hear and see more explosions.

'We should be safe here,' Lanash speaks up after a moment.

'I'm not going to hide,' you say, straightening your back. Before they can stop you, you dash toward the palace, knowing very well that's where your enemies will be heading. They scream after you but you ignore them. Your heart is beating fast. You have to be with your people. With your family.

By the time you get to the palace, the fights are all over the city, maybe even the planet. The enemy is already inside your home. Before you get into a secret passage, you notice what armors they're wearing. It causes you to stop in shock. Jantoth. They're Jantothains.

You will regret this. This isn't over.

'No…' you whisper, horrified, and dash into the secret passage. A moment later Lanash and C-3PO (who was almost carried by your maid) rush in after you. They managed to catch up to you when you stopped.

'Please, tell me I saw wrong,' she whispers. 'They can't be-'

'They are,' you answer grimly. 'Come on. We must get into the Throne Room.'

You sneak quietly through the secret corridors. You wince at the screams and sounds of battle. Your heart is beating fast. For the first time in your life, you're not sure if you're going to make it out alive.

'My lady, I think we should stay here,' Lanash whispers. 'We should keep you safe. If something happens to you-'

'I don't care,' you interrupt her. 'I must be with my family.'

You reach the hidden door to the throne room a moment later. You open it and sneak inside, your friends behind you. You're behind many pillars, hidden from everyone that doesn't know about this place. You freeze when you hear a voice that doesn't belong to anyone from your family. Your friends drag you back into the shadows. But you still can see what's happening in the room.

To your horror your family is kneeling on the floor, their wrists tied behind their backs. They're surrounded by soldiers. And around the room is pacing… Jordari.

'My patience is running out, Your Majesty,' he says, irritated. 'I'll ask one more time. Where is [Y/N]?'

'Even if I knew I wouldn't tell you,' your father responds. 'You'd be wise to get off of my planet.'

'Why would I do that?' the Prince laughs. 'You have no chance with my army.'

'It won't be long before the Republic comes to our aid,' the King explains. 'Your army and the droids the Separatists lent you are going to be in a deep trouble then. I'd reconsider your moves if I were you.'

Your eyes go wide. Separatists? Jantoth has joined the Alliance? When did this happen?

'I wouldn't be so sure they're going to be here so fast,' Jordari snorts. 'They never are.'

'You're in for a surprise then,' Andrrei says. You admire him for being so calm and collected in this situation. Would you be if it was you?

'I don't think so,' the Prince says, stopping in front of your father. 'And since you're so against collaborating, I think you need a little encouragement.'

He nods at one guard. He walks to Astrariel and yanks her up by her hair. She yelps and you make a move toward her, but C-3PO and Lanash quickly stop you. Your sister is brought to Jordari, who turns her so she'd be facing the King and presses a knife to her throat. Your heart is beating fast.

'Where is [Y/N]?' the Prince asks and smirks. 'Or is your older daughter worth more to you than your younger one?'

'They both mean the world to me and I value them equally,' Andrrei says, barely restraining himself. 'So, I won't trade one for the other. Let her go. Now.'

'You see, the mistake you keep making is that you believe you have any power here,' Jordari says and swiftly slices Astrariel's throat. 'While you don't.'

Your maid quickly puts her hand on your mouth. But you're too shocked to make any sound. Contrary to your mother, who screams in pain. Your father stares into your sister's eyes, watching as the life slowly leaves them. Before it happens, she's dropped on the floor.

'No… help her,' the King demands. 'Help her!'

'It's okay… daddy…' Astrariel says and takes in her last breath. You cry as you stare into your sister's lifeless eyes.

'Where is [Y/N]?' Jordari asks. 'Tell me or your wife is next.'

'You're a monster,' Lyra says between sobs. She's slapped immediately. The Prince walks to her and grabs her face with one hand.

'Anything you'd like to add, Your Majesty?' he says through gritted teeth. Your mother stares fearlessly into his eyes.

'You will never accomplish anything in your life, because you don't have a heart,' she says. 'Nothing makes me so glad as the fact my daughter is not and never will be your wife.'

She spats at him. He roars in anger… and plunges the knife in her heart.

'LYRA!' Andrrei yells in agony, drowning out the whimper you make this time. Your mother looks at him with love and smiles. Jordari lets go of her and she falls on the floor. You're all forced to watch her die.

'I didn't want to do that,' the Prince says once her chest stops moving. 'I believe you wouldn't let her die.'

'That's why she provoked you,' your father says, his voice croaked. 'She preferred to die than to endanger her daughter.'

'I will find her anyway,' Jordari says, walking to the King.

'Oh, I don't doubt it,' Andrrei says and smiles. 'Or maybe she'll find you. And then you'll understand why I told you to run.'

They stare at each other for a moment. You struggle against Lanash and C-3PO, knowing what will happen in a moment.

'I really didn't want this to happen,' the Prince finally says. 'But you brought this on yourself.'

He stabs your father in the stomach and twists the knife. The King doesn't make a sound and keeps staring into his murderer's eyes. You cry and shake in your friends arms.

'Find the Princess!' Jordari orders, pulling the knife out, making Andrrei fall. 'I want her alive!'

One by one, your enemies leave the room. Once they're sure they're gone, your maid and droid let go of you. You run to your father and take him in your arms. He's still alive, but he's nearly there.

'Dad…' you whisper, caressing his face. 'Daddy…'

He opens his eyes and smiles. He tries to lift his hand. You take it and press it against your cheek.

'I'm glad… you stayed there…' he wheezes. 'You have… a chance now… You'll be… an amazing queen… You'll make me… proud… You already do… sunshine…'

'No, don't leave me!' you beg, sobbing. 'Please, don't go… I'm not ready… Please…'

'You are…' your father whispers, closing his eyes. 'You've been… for a long time… I love you… Don't blame yourself… for this…'

'I love you too,' you cry. 'So much…'

Your father smiles… and his hand goes limp in your hold. His chest is not moving anymore.

'No… no, no, no…' you sob and press your face to his chest. You allow yourself to cry for a bit. But then, you press a kiss to your father's forehead and stand up. You say your goodbyes to your mother and sister and kiss their foreheads, ignoring how their blood stains your dress. Then, you head to the throne.

'Your Highness?' you hear a voice. You whirl around. You see soldiers gathered at the threshold, staring with shock at the massacre. Your eyes land on Lanash and C-3PO.

'They were in the dungeons,' your maid explains. 'We thought… I mean, they wouldn't look for you here…'

You understand. Not only did they allow you to say goodbye in peace, but they found the soldiers as well. But they feel guilty for leaving you alone. Your look softens.

'You did well,' you assure them.

'What's our next move, Your Hi- Your Majesty?' Hawk asks, his voice cracking at the end. You turn around and walk to the throne. You pull out your father's sword, the sword of the kings and queens, and turn back.

'Let's take back our planet,' you say, your voice determined and cold. 'And make them pay for what they did.'

Anakin slays another droid and glares at Obi-Wan. Beside him Ahsoka does her best to watch his back. They're advancing toward the palace.

'How come we weren't informed Jantoth has joined the Separatists?' Skywalker asks and continues fighting.

'I think we didn't know,' Kenobi answers solemnly.

'How is that possible?' Tano asks.

'I wish I knew,' the oldest Jedi sighs. They continue forward. Anakin scoffs and his face twists into a scowl when he sees Jordari in front of them, on the courtyard in front of the palace.

'I'm calling dibs on the little prince,' he says.

'I'm afraid no harm can come to him,' his former master reminds him.

'Oh, and they can do harm to all these people?!' his friend asks, furious.

'No, but we're better than them,' Obi-Wan reminds him. His former padawan scoffs but continues onward in silence. The Jedi and Clones beside him to the same.

Suddenly, the door to the palace bang open. You stand in the threshold, your clothes and body covered in blood even more.

'[Y/N],' Skywalker sighs with relief. He's terrified to see so much blood on you, but you're standing straight so he assumes it's not yours. At least not most of it.

You are surrounded by your soldiers. With them you slowly descend the stairs, your eyes fixed on Jordari. He sees you as well and smirks. Oh, you can't wait to wipe that smirk off of his face.

'Princess! How nice of you to join us!' he calls and shoots another of your people. Your nostrils flare. Your grip on your sword tightens.

'You're going to pay for what you did,' you say, your voice strangely calm. 'All of it.'

'No, Princess, you're the one that's paying,' he snorts. 'I told you this wasn't over. You should have just agreed to marry me.'

'After what you've done, I'm even more glad I hadn't,' you say, seething. 'You don't deserve to be the king of people of this planet.'

He shakes, enraged. Before he can say another word, you take off your bracelet and throw it at his feet. He stares at it, stunned.

'We'll settle this with a duel,' you demand. 'If you win, you will be the king of Luth. I win, you and your people leave for good. I don't want to see any of you here ever again. Agreed?'

'Very well,' the Prince snorts. He puts away his blaster and takes out his sword. You start circling each other, both angry, both determined.

Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan dart to you. But Juando extends a hand, stopping them.

'No,' he says. 'She has to do it alone.'

'Are you crazy?!' Skywalker growls. 'She needs help!'

'She can manage,' Juando says and stares at you sadly. 'She must.'

'But… why?' Tano asks. 'We can help her.'

'Because her taking up that sword can mean only one thing,' the General says with sorrow.

'Which is?' Kenobi asks, frowning. The man who fought many battles with your father gulps.

'The King is dead,' he answers. The Jedi stare at him with horror. In the meantime, you and Jordari start your duel. It is watched by everyone in silence.

'Right now, she has to prove to everyone she can protect this planet,' Juando says. 'She must win this alone.'

Obi-Wan nods gravely. Ahsoka bites her lips, nervous. Anakin looks at you with despair.

The duel continues. It is hard to determine who will win. But then you catch the glimpse of the Jedi. Seeing your husband here and your friends gives you a needed boost. You block the next move of your opponent and attack him without letting him to give you a blow. His eyes become wide with fear.

At last, you disarm him and make him fall on his bottom. You press the tip of your sword to his chest. He stares at you with terror in his eyes. You stare at him with hatred in yours. You raise your weapon to strike… when you remember a memory from when you were seven years old and your father started to teach you how to be a good queen…

'A good ruler doesn't allow anger, hate nor sorrow to control their actions and decisions,' he said to you, as you were strolling through garden. 'Mercy, compassion, kindness… these are the qualities of a good king or queen. You should follow your heart but also keep a level head to control it.'

'But what if someone does something bad?' you asked then, frowning. 'Like, murdering a lot of people?'

'Let them stand trial,' he answered. 'And if they can't be put to one for some reason, don't rush your decision. Think what would be best for our planet. Even if it breaks your heart.'

'It's not easy being a ruler,' you sighed. He chuckled. He looked up at the setting sun.

'No, it is not,' he agreed and put a hand on your head with a kind smile. 'But I have no doubt in my mind that you're going to be a very wise and good one…'

You swallow down your tears. You want to kill him. But that won't be the best option in this situation. So, you crush your hate and lower your sword to the side. Jordari stares at you in bewilderment.

'Leave and never return,' you say, your voice cold. 'If I ever see you again… if you ever dare to attack my planet again… there will be no mercy for you. Now go. Go!'

His soldiers hurry to his side and help him up. They drag him away to his ship. You stare at it and all other ones until they rise up to the sky and disappear. Then, you look at your soldiers.

'Long live the Queen!' Juando shouts and falls on his knee.

'Long live the Queen!' soldiers and other subjects shout, kneeling as well. 'Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen!'

You stare at them for a long moment, your expression unreadable. When the chant stops, your eyes fall on the figure of your father's friend.

'General, with me,' you order. He gets up and heads your way. You cast one glance at the Jedi and turn on your heal. You hurry back to the palace, the sword still clutched in your hands.

When Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka manage to finally catch up to you, you're standing in the middle of the throne room. Tano gasps at the sight of the bodies of your family that are being examined now. Her companions stare at them in shock as well.

'What a monster…' Skywalker says, enraged, clenching his fist. 'The Queen and Astrariel as well? Why?'

'He wanted to know where Princess [Y/N] was,' they hear. They turn their heads and see Lanash coming their way. Her clothes are bloodied as well but she doesn't look injured. But she looks very tired and stricken with grief.

'He used them as leverage,' she explains. 'When threatening Princess Astrariel didn't work, he did the same with the Queen. But she provoked him into killing her. With no other leverage… he killed the King.'

'You saw that?' Kenobi asks, stunned. Your maid nods.

'We were outside,' she says. 'Me, my lady and C-3PO. We got back by a secret passage. We stayed hidden until they left. The Princess… she wanted to rush in and save her family. But Threepio and I held her back… There were too many of them…'

'You did well,' Obi-Wan praises her. 'You saved her life. And yours. You couldn't have helped them. You'd only end up dead yourself or…'

'Sell our planet to them,' she finishes in a whisper when he cuts himself off. He nods gravely. They all look at you. You look so small and lost…

'What now?' Ahsoka asks quietly.

'Now… we must keep to every formality,' Lanash says and exhales shakily. 'Examine the bodies to confirm our version, so no one has any doubts. Then… we bury our dead. After that the coronation. And then… we grief and rebuild.'

'It won't be easy,' Kenobi says quietly, staring at you sadly.

'No,' your maid agrees and forces a smile. 'But we'll get through it. She will get through it. With the help of friends.'

She gives Anakin a pointed look. He nods, letting her know he understands what she tries to say. He looks back at you. He sees Juando and Hawk walking to you and talking to you quietly. You nod numbly and go toward a private door.

'Excuse me, I must see to her,' Lanash says and hurries after you. The Jedi stare after you two sadly. Rex enters the room, his expression grim.

'Orders, sir?' he asks.

'Help wherever you can,' Anakin answers. The Clone nods and walks away. Ahsoka follows him. Kenobi grabs Skywalker's shoulder.

'Give her a moment to gather herself… and go to her,' he says, surprising his friend. 'You're her best friend, she needs you at the moment.'

The younger Jedi nods, looking at his former master with gratitude. His companion pats him on the back and then they go to help.

Anakin knocks on the door softly. It opens after a moment and he sees C-3PO, who somehow also looks as if filled with sorrow.

'Oh, Master Anakin!' he says and lets the Jedi in. 'How good you're here. Please, she's in the bedroom.'

Skywalker hurries after the droid to the pointed room. He stops in the threshold. His heart breaks at the sight of you.

You're in your nightgown, your hair is loose. Your face is white, your eyes red and puffy. You look so fragile, so broken…

'[Y/N]…' he says softly, his voice breaking. You look up and he's relieved to see a spark of light returning to your eyes.

'Anakin…' you whisper and stand up. He hurries to your side and takes you in his arms. You clench your fists in his robes and soon your body is shaking from the sobs. C-3PO quietly closes the door, leaving the two of you alone.

'I'm so sorry,' your husband says, crying as well. 'I should have been there. Or at least I should have arrived faster. I'm so, so sorry…'

'You didn't know this was going to happen,' you say, your voice muffled by his chest. 'You were needed elsewhere. And you arrived as fast as you could, I know it. I don't blame you. The only ones to blame are Jantoths.'

He holds you tighter, closing his eyes. You stand like that for a long time, grieving together. His presence gives you a lot of strength.

Some time later, you're sitting on your bed. He's leaning on the headboard and you on him, closed in his arms. You don't speak for a bit.

'I hate to ask it… but what now?' he breaks the silence at last. 'With us, I mean?'

'… Since my people know about us, we both should be crowned as king and queen,' you respond after a beat. 'But given the circumstances… I think they would understand if you… if we… wait a bit.'

'What about you?' he asks quietly. 'What do you want?'

You mull the question for a moment. You want him by your side. But that would be selfish of you. Still, you don't want to lie to him. He'd know if you did anyway.

'I would love to be crowned with you by my side,' you answer. 'Of course, I understand if you-'

'How are we going to do it?' he interrupts you. 'I don't think the rest of the world should know about it and I imagine the coronation is going to be quite public.'

Warmth feels your chest. He doesn't ask how would you do it, he asks how will you do it. There's no hesitation, no pondering. He wants to be by your side as he should. Or at least as much as he can.

'The coronation is taking place in the Temple of All Gods,' you start. 'We must invite our friends, allies, senators, kings, queens… Chancellor Palpatine. But they will only observe my journey from the palace to the temple and then attend the feast. The most important part, the coronation, is an intimate act. I will enter the temple alone and there the priests will crown me as the queen. You will observe the "parade" with other Jedi and then you will sneak inside the temple. Lanash can show you a secret entrance. Inside, a priest will wait for you to take you to me and we'll be crowned together.'

'That… is a very good plan,' he says and grins. 'It can work.'

'At least it should,' you say. 'People of Luth should know of course about it. They will demand to know if you are/were crowned with me. They expect it. About 501st and Ahsoka-'

'They must know as well,' he puts in. You nod, agreeing to it. You sigh and close your eyes.

'I'm scared…' you whisper after some time. Anakin pulls slightly away and cups your face. You look at him with sad eyes.

'Whatever comes next, we will face it together,' he promises you. 'You're going to be a wonderful, kind, strong queen. And I will do anything I can to support you. We can do this.'

You smile at him and he smiles back. He kisses your forehead and pulls you back into the hug. He comforts you like that for a really long time. When he has to go, he does it reluctantly. If it were up to him, he would stay at least for the next few days.

The day after is very hard for you. You get a lot of calls with condolences. Some more honest (Padmé, Bail), some less (Palpatine). At the same time, you must plan your coronation, prepare the funeral for the dead and govern your country. You want to scream at the end of the day. And it continues for the next few.

Finally, the Jedi receive an invitation for the coronation. The funeral of your family has already been held. It was a private ceremony, no one from the outside was invited. But the coronation is supposed to be grand and very public, so the most of the most important people in the galaxy are here.

'It looks like a perfect opportunity for a terrorist attack,' Fives says grumpily. Some Clones were invited as well.

'Who would be stupid to attack in this weather?' Jesse asks, staring at the gray clouds. It's pouring which adds to the already grim atmosphere.

'Some may think it's a perfect cover,' Rex puts in.

'Can you stop?' Anakin sighs.

'Apologies, sir,' Fives says. 'But you must admit that so many politicians, Jedi, soldiers in one place is asking for trouble.'

'Oh, he already discussed it with his wife,' Ahsoka says.

'Shh! Keep it down, Snips!' Skywalker hushes her, looking around nervously. Tano rolls her eyes.

'Relax, SkyGuy,' she says. 'If anyone had heard me, they will just think I'm teasing you. Most of the people jokingly calls you a "married couple".'

'It doesn't mean someone can't understand it in another way,' her master hisses. She just sighs and doesn't say anything more.

'So, about that conversation with your not-wife, General?' Jesse asks. Anakin glares at him. Others try not to snicker.

'There is no danger,' Skywalker says. 'The security is very high. Plus… among the guests are some really important Separatists leaders.'

'What?!' his companions ask at the same time, surprised. He sighs.

'She used to be friends with them before they left the Republic,' he explains. 'She felt she has to invite them. Plus, it makes the risk of our enemies attacking smaller, since they're here.'

'But there are still things that can go wrong,' Fives points out.

'Guys… please, stop,' the Jedi Knight sighs. 'I'm already nervous as it is.'

Others exchange a look. Ahsoka smiles and puts a hand on his shoulder.

'It's gonna be okay,' she assures him. 'And you're going to be great.'

'I won't be able to properly be their king,' he says quietly after a beat. 'To properly support her. Help her.'

'There's no "proper" way for this, sir,' Rex says. 'You just have to do the best you can with the means you have. And we know you will. Not only because you love your wife. But also because you care.'

'That's why we all admire you, sir,' Jesse says. 'Because you actually care. More than you should as a Jedi.'

Skywalker looks at them with wide eyes, moved. He smiles.

'Thanks, guys,' he says and quickly becomes serious, because other Jedi that are present join them. It's time. And true enough, soon they hear drums.

What seems like a long time after, as a tradition commands, you show on the street in a chariot. Anakin's breath hitches. You look spectacular in your white and golden dress. He can't wait to take a closer look at it. And maybe take it off.

Because the Jedi are your close friends, they have one of the best views. Thanks to that, they clearly see the moment the chariot stops in front of the temple and you step out of it. The guards stay outside, as the priests lead you inside. The huge doors close loudly and silence falls.

'It's… terribly grim for a coronation, isn't it?' Ahsoka asks hesitantly. 'I thought they're going to be more cheerful.'

'We may be crowning a new ruler, but that means we had to bury our previous ones,' a new voice suddenly speak. 'We're still grieving. It doesn't feel right for us to cheer just yet.'

Everyone turns and sees Lanash joining them. C-3PO shows up a second later.

'You're right, of course,' Obi-Wan says, nodding solemnly, then looks at her with curiosity. 'To be honest, I thought at least you're going to be with [Y/N].'

'No one is allowed inside,' she denies, shaking her head. She gives Anakin a look. He nods and turns slightly to his troopers.

'I need you to distract others and keep them occupied,' he murmurs. His soldiers and padawan nod.

'You can count on us, sir,' Rex says quietly. Tano steps up first.

'Master Yoda, were you present on the coronation of King Andrrei?' she asks.

'Yes,' the old Jedi master confirms. 'Beautiful, it was. Sad, but touching. Married to his wife, he already was. Both crowned, they were. A sight to behold, it was. Although, nicer, the weather was.'

'Yes, that makes everyone worried,' Threepio says, troubled. Everyone looks at him.

'According to a superstition, the weather on the coronation reflects how the reign of the ruler is going to go,' the droid explains. 'The rain doesn't bode well.'

'That sounds interesting,' Five says. 'Please, tell us more about it.'

C-3PO is startled by it, but seeing Skywalker sneaking off with Lanash, he understands his role. So, he begins the tale of this superstition and how many times it actually came true. In the meantime, your maid takes your husband away.

Anakin and Lanash reach a secret entrance. Your maid activates it and a door in a wall slides open. A dark corridor looms ahead. She reaches for a torch, lights it and hands it to Skywalker with a smile.

'Good luck,' she whispers.

'Thanks,' he murmurs and steps inside. The moment he does, the door closes. Feeling claustrophobic, he hurries forward. A few minutes later he sees a light. He rushes toward it and finds himself at the exit. Behind it stands a priest.

'Welcome, Anakin Skywalker,' he says, raising his hands. 'We are glad you've decided to do this.'

'I knew what I was getting into when I proposed to [Y/N],' the Jedi says, putting away the torch. 'It may have come sooner than I thought and hoped, but I'm not going to back down. I'm just sorry it can't be in the way you deserve.'

'We're satisfied with you being here for now,' the priest says and leads him down another corridor, this one lighted. 'But be aware, that sooner or later the people of Luth will demand for you to take more active part in our affairs.'

'I understand,' your husband says. A few minutes later they enter a chamber. Anakin's heart skips a beat when he sees you waiting on a chair. You smile and the priest bows to you both.

'We'll start in a few minutes,' he says and leaves you. You stand up and meet Skywalker halfway. You embrace.

'Thank you,' you say quietly.

'Of course,' he murmurs. You wait in silence. Finally, the large doors open and you hear singing. You pull away and stand shoulder to shoulder.

'Ready?' he asks, nervous.

'I was born for it,' you answer calmly and squeeze his hand for a second. 'And you?'

'With you by my side?' he asks. 'I'm ready for anything.'

You smile and you two start walking. You enter the main chamber. It's full of statues of the gods. On both your sides there are rows of singing priests, each of them holding a candle. At the end, there's a statue of the first recorded king and queen of Luth. Beneath it, stand two priests – one male, one female. You reach them and fall on your knees. Silence falls.

'We lost so much recently,' the female priestess – Ayla – says. 'But we must not allow our grief to consume us. A new dawn has risen. And with it we're getting a new queen and a new king. Today, in front of the gods and with us as the witnesses, they will make their oaths to lead this planet justly and kindly. And then, by the power the gods have vested in us, we will crown them.'

Two other priests walk to you and put cloaks on your shoulders. The male priest – Korg – walks down to you with the Book of the Laws. He offers it to you.

'Princess [Y/N], place your right hand on the book and the left one on your heart,' he asks, You do as he says, your heart beating fast.

'Do you swear,' he starts, 'to be the protector and defender of the planet Luth and its people in all ways that you can be of help so far as you shall he supported by the gods' aid, according to your knowledge and ability?'

'I swear,' you answer.

'Do you swear,' he asks, 'to your power cause law and justice, in mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?'

'I swear,' you confirm and look him in the eyes. 'The things which I have here before promised, I will perform and keep. So help me gods.'

'So be it,' he says seriously. You drop your hands. Korg turns to Anakin.

'General Skywalker, place your right hand on the book and the left one on your heart,' he says. Skywalker does so, trying to remain calm.

'Do you swear,' the priest starts, 'to be the protector and defender of the planet Luth and its people in all ways that you can be of help so far as you shall he supported by the gods' aid, according to your knowledge and ability?'

'I swear,' the Jedi answers.

'Do you swear,' Korg asks, 'to your power cause law and justice, in mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?'

'I swear,' your husband confirms.

'And do you swear,' the priest asks for the last time, 'to support your wife, our queen, and help her rule this planet rightfully, wisely and with heart?'

'I swear,' Anakin says and looks him in the eyes. 'The things which I have here before promised, I will perform and keep. So help me the Force.'

'So be it,' Korg says. Skywalker drops his hands. You watch the priest walk back up the stairs. He passes the book to another priestess. He and Ayla spread their arms.

'In the presence of gods and with us as witnesses, they made their oaths,' the priestess declares. 'Let us now crown them, so they could rule this planet rightfully and protect its people.'

They now descent the stairs to you. Two priests with two bowls approach you. Ayla and Korg put their fingers in the bowls and then they stand in front of you.

'The crown from the gods,' they say at the same time. The priestess draws a symbol on your forehead, while the priest does the same for Skywalker.

The priests with bowls walk away. In their place priestesses with crowns show up. Ayla and Korg take the crowns and approach you again.

'The crown from the people,' they say together. The priest puts the crown on your head and priestess does the same for the Jedi. All at once it feels real. It's not the dream. You're the queen now.

'It is done!' Ayla says. '[Y/N] [L/N], Anakin Skywalker, you've been crowned as the queen and king of Luth. Live true to the oaths you said today, follow your hearts and be wise in your rule. And you'll make your ancestors proud. Now rise… and go to your people.'

You and your husband stand up. The cloaks are taken from your shoulders. You turn around and leave the main chamber. The doors close behind you. You both exhale shakily.

'So… no turning back now,' the Jedi breaks the silence. You smile slightly and reach for him. He takes your hand in his. You look at each other.

'We can do this,' you say. 'Together.'

'Together,' he confirms and walks to you. You kiss softly, wanting this moment to never end. But it's not over. You pull away with regret.

'You should return to others now,' you say. 'And I'll… present myself to the people.'

'I love you,' he says and kisses your forehead.

'And I love you,' you respond. He leaves the room. Outside the priest from before is already waiting. You give him a minute, then leave as well. Other priests are already waiting for you.

Outside the temple, 501st, Ahsoka, R2-D2 and C-3PO are doing their best to make sure no one notices Skywalker's absence. But no one can fool Obi-Wan forever.

'Wait a minute,' he interrupts Jesse's story, frowning. 'Where is Anakin?'

Everyone looks around. Tano desperately tries to think of something. Threepio looks up.

'Oh, well, at least it stopped raining,' he says. 'And I think the sun is trying to shine through.'

Kenobi opens his mouth to say something, but at that moment the doors to the temple open. At the same time what the droid said tuns out to be true, because the sun comes out from behind the clouds. At once, the city is covered with rainbows. People gasp and cheer.

You come into the sun beams and look up. You smile, unaware that your husband is doing exactly the same thing by the secret entrance, as he exited it the moment you left the temple.

'What do rainbows mean?' Rex asks C-3PO, smiling.

'Oh, honestly, it's the best that could have happened,' the droid answers, excited. 'Rainbows mean prosperity, peace, joy and justice.'

'Peace and justice, huh?' Windu asks, staring at the rainbows. 'It would be good if it was a prophecy for the whole galaxy.'

'Who knows, maybe it is?' Skywalker, who's just showed up along with Lanash, asks. At once everyone looks at him.

'Anakin, where have you been?' Obi-Wan asks.

'We've tried to look inside the temple,' your maid lies to everyone's horror. 'Oh, don't worry. It's a tradition. During every coronation someone tries to look in. I was nervous about my lady, so I tried to take a peek. Luckily, General Skywalker noticed and followed me. He made sure I didn't do something stupid like storming through the window.'

'Well, she almost did that,' your husband lies, earning a glare from her. His former master shakes a head at him, but his eyes tell he's amused.

'Wow, that dress looks so pretty now,' Ahsoka says. Everyone follows her gaze and see you descending the stairs, waving at clapping and cheering people. Turns out there are crystals on your dress that are now shining and glistening in the sun.

'Did she know it's going to be sun after all?' Fives asks.

'No, but she hoped for it,' Lanash explains and smiles. 'She's always an optimist.'

You get on the chariot. You're now to take a ride along the capital to see your people and let them see you. Then, you will go back to the palace for the feast.

'They seem more cheerful now,' Ahsoka says, looking at the crowd below.

'Mostly because of the rainbows, I guess,' Lanash says. 'But yes. We're happy.'

'Good queen, she's going to be,' Yoda says and everyone turns to him. 'Feel it, I do.'

Your maid smiles and excuses herself. She must come back to you. Others return their gazes to you. Anakin does it just in time to see you looking up. You smile at each other. Whatever happens now, neither of you has fear. Because you have each other.

The feast is loud and messy. Very quickly you want to throw all the guests out. Lanash and Obi-Wan barely manage to stop you from doing that. Mostly by directing you to people you actually like and want here when someone annoys you too much.

'Difficult times are ahead of you, dear [Y/N],' Palpatine says when, unfortunately, you have to stop to chat to him. 'You have to show strength but also not too much. And, of course, make people to trust you, while your government to listen to you.'

'I've been schooled for this since I was seven years old, Chancellor,' you say, annoyed he's so forward with you. 'And I'm not alone in it. I have faith I'll manage.'

'Of course, of course,' he chuckles. 'But if you ever need an advice, I'm only a call away.'

'I'll remember that,' you respond, forcing a smile. 'Now, excuse me, I've just noticed Padmé and I haven't talked to her yet.'

Without waiting for a response, you hurry away. You maneuver your way to Amidala and link your arms with her.

'Save me and walk with me,' you beg.

'Who are we running from?' she laughs. But she obliges and walks with you.

'Palpatine,' you say through gritted teeth. Her smile falls.

'I wish you two would get along,' she sighs.

'Oh, no problem,' you snort. 'He just has to stop being so fake and condescending.'

'He's not fake-' she starts to argue.

'Pad, we've argued about it a lot of times,' you interrupt her. 'Let's not do this again. Not today.'

She sighs but nods. For a moment you stroll in silence. You nod your head politely at everyone who bows to you.

'How are you holding up?' the Senator asks at some point, worried. 'Really.'

'It's hard,' you answer after a moment. 'I keep expecting to wake up… and see them. Alive.'

'If you ever need to talk…' your friend says with sorrow. You smile at her and squeeze her arm.

'I know,' you say. 'Thank you. I hope it also means I can call you when I'm going to need an advice on ruling?'

'Of course,' she confirms. 'But I don't think you're going to need it.'

You smile at each other. You open your mouth to say something, but just then Ahsoka joins you. She shoots a look at the door.

'Senator, I was hoping for a moment of your time,' she says. You look at the door and see your husband hiding in the shadows.

'Of course,' Padmé says and unlinks your arms. 'Unless, you-'

'Go, I need some time alone anyway,' you say. You share a brief hug and two women walk away. You quickly hurry toward the door, avoiding any conversations that people try to start with you.

'Anakin?' you call in a hushed voice. Suddenly, a hand grabs your wrist and you're pulled into the shadows.

'It's me,' Skywalker quickly whispers and pecks your lips. 'Maker, I wanted to do that for the whole evening.'

'Why did you decide now?' you ask quietly. He sighs.

'We're going to leave soon,' he explains. 'I wanted to say goodbye.'

'Then let's do it properly,' you say and take his hand. Quickly, you guide him through the corridors to your bedroom. You barely close the door when his lips are on yours again. You sigh and answer the kiss hungrily.

'I need you…' you whisper. He growls and picks you up. He carries you to the bed and lays you down. You undress each other. He starts peppering your face with kisses until he starts going lower with them.

'Oh… have mercy on me tonight,' you gasp as he sucks on your breast. 'Please…'

'Your wish is my command, my Queen,' he murmurs, his eyes locked on you. You shiver under his gaze and then moan when his fingers start pleasuring you down there. You grab his hair and bring him up for a kiss, as your other hand finds his manhood and starts stroking. He groans and heats up the kiss.

'And what does my King wish for?' you whisper. He freezes and looks at you.

'I wish… for you to tell me how much you need me,' he answers.

'As you command,' you say and move your mouth to his ear. 'I need you as much as I need air to breathe…'

He gasps and his fingers speed up. You take in a shaky breath.

'You complete me,' you go on, going faster with your hand as well. 'I am not fully myself unless I have you by my side. My heart longs for you all the time when we're apart.'

He groans and twitches in your hand. He adds more fingers. You continue whispering sweet things into his ear, your voice quickly turning to pants. He finally can't take it anymore and pulls away. You look at each other softly and with lust.

'I love you,' you say at the same time and chuckle. You kiss gently, lovingly. You gasp when he suddenly enters you. You look up at him and see him smirking at you. You scowl at him but then he moves. You moan and your face relaxes.

'Look at me, my star,' he says quietly. You open your eyes and see him gazing at you with love. You smile and cup his cheek.

'Make love to me, Anakin,' you say. His eyes light up and he starts moving. You embrace him and pull him closer to you. You both moan and groan, as he speeds up every few moments.

'[Y/N]… my star… my life… my amazing wife…' he murmurs into your ear and kisses your neck. You moan and move your hips against his hips. He groans and goes harder.

'Anakin… oh, Anakin…' you pant and tug on his hair. Your eyes lock. You kiss once more. You love doing that. You can't get enough of it.

You make love to each other for long minutes. You want to prolong it as long as you can. Feel each other as long as you can. But finally, you both can't take it and come undone almost at the same time.

A few moments pass before your husband lifts himself up, panting. He kisses your forehead and pulls out. You whimper at the loss.

'I know,' he murmurs against your hair and falls on the bed next to you. 'I know…'

You turn and snuggle into him. He puts his arms around you at once. You lay in silence like that for a bit.

'Obi-Wan will be looking for me,' he speaks up at one point. You don't respond.

'I'm scared,' you say instead after a moment. He frowns and looks at you.

'Of what?' he asks. 'Of Jantoths? They won't attack you again, I'm sure of it.'

'Oh, I'm not worried about it,' you dismiss it. 'I know they won't.'

'Then what is it?' he asks.

'I'm afraid of failing,' you whisper. Skywalker thinks carefully over his answer.

'It's understandable,' he finally says. 'You didn't expect to become a queen so soon. But you are ready. You're going be amazing. Do you know why?'

'Why?' you ask, looking up at him. He smiles down at you.

'Because you care,' he answers. 'You care about your people so much. That means you're going to be a wonderful queen. And I'm going to be by your side. Remember, even if I'm not here, I'm just a call away.'

You smile at him, actually feeling better. You lift yourself up slightly and kiss him. The kiss is long, sweet and tender.

But all good things come to an end. You get up and get dressed. You don't even realize when you're on the platform, saying your goodbyes to the Jedi.

'Remember, always help in us, you have,' Yoda says as you shake his hand.

'Thank you,' you say with a smile. 'It's mutual. Nothing has changed. And thank you for arriving so quickly that day and helping.'

'Still fast enough, we were not,' he says, hanging his head. You smile sadly.

'It was meant to be,' you say. 'There's no point in dwelling on it and wishing on doing something differently. It is done. Let's focus on our future now.'

'Wise words,' Windu praises you, nodding his head seriously. 'The people of Luth are going to have a really good queen in you.'

'Thank you for your kind words,' you say and bow slightly. 'I wish you a safe journey.'

You go to others. You hug Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, as well as talk to them for a moment. Then you wish farewells to the Clones. And at last, you walk to Anakin. You stare at each other sadly, then hug tightly.

'I leave my heart with you,' he murmurs. 'Take a good care of it.'

'Only if you take mine with yours and hold it close,' you respond, smiling.

'It's a deal,' he agrees and pulls away, just to grab your hand and kiss it, while looking into your eyes. 'Until next time… Your Majesty.'

'Farewell, General,' you say, your voice breaking. He nods at you and reluctantly lets go. He joins others and soon enough you watch how their ship rise in the air. There are tears in your eyes.

Thank you for reading! I'm sorry for the angst, I hope you don't hate me and enjoyed this chapter at least a bit. Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Seriously, even if it's just to leave a thumb up. Every bit of feedback keeps me motivated. Until next time!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60214684/chapters/154926283

#anakin skywalker #reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin & reader #anakin & you #anakin/reader #anakin/you #star wars

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fandomstars · 2 years ago

Note

Hi :) I was wondering if I could request tbb boys with a male Jedi boyfriend? (With orange light sabers/saber since that's the color I have and it is pretty uncommon to see in the star wars universe. Also maybe have the reader be trans?)

(Sorry can’t do Trans/non-binary/poly/genderfluid. I’ve never done so and I don’t have enough knowledge to do so. Plus, I don’t want to offend anyone. The rest though I can do!)

Bad Batch x Male Jedi

Hunter:

First thing that caught his eye was the orange saber. He didn’t know too much about Jedi like Tech and Echo, but he knew enough that something was different about him.

It took him a few seconds to realize like yeah, and he’s also good looking.

Cue him being between flustered and trying to seem cool in the Jedi’s presence.

His brothers tease him ridiculously, especially since Hunter is usually the least likely to romanticize with anyone.

So when Hunter began to actually have feelings for said Jedi, it didn’t help Tech managed to find out enough about him to add him as the batch’s first Jedi.

Y/N didn’t really find out of just why the batch with the reputation of ‘No need to a jedi, we got a Hunter’ were so nice to him. Of course he had a crush on Hunter, I mean have you seen his hair?

Y/N was just as flustered around him, and even more so once the two began to get closer and go into battle together.

Let’s just say Hunter might do the first kiss due to the heat of battle more than anything.

—-

Crosshair:

Crosshair might of gotten a glance at him from afar one time, can’t say exactly how he ended up at the sparring room, but there he was battling a couple of training droids. Despite usually not interested in Jedi stuff, he couldn’t help but watch the entire training session.

Said Jedi knew someone was watching him, it didn’t help the force seem to draw some sort of connection to the mysterious person. (Force ships hard!)

Crosshair waits till he stops training (trying hard to hide the blush of being turned on by the Jedi decapitating the two training droids in one move. Not that he’ll admit it) to ask him for a drink.

The Jedi accepts, which has Crosshair wondering if he’s an imposter. No way a goodie twos Jedi would indulge in alcohol.

“It’s not that, Jedi occasionally drink alcohol (once of age), they just either do so in secret or rarely one forgets they do.” - Y/N

“I don’t drink alcohol, but the milkshakes at Dexters are the best.” - Y/N

Which leads the pair to the 79s bar, followed by Dexters for their first date.

First kiss happens the first place they meet, cause that training move basically made Crosshair this time, not try to hide his excitement and adoration.

——

Tech:

First thing he thought when he saw you was, ‘I can totally get more knowledge on Jedi lore from him!”

Wasn’t till he actually came up to you, that he became partially speechless on your beauty, but also flustered and stuttering of his request.

You smile and accept helping him learn more of Jedi lore, which makes him even more red.

So starts the two of you study dates. Tech rambling, yet blushing since you basically lean to his every word each time.

First kiss happens by your first move, followed by Tech nearly going all out passion before realizing the two of you are in the archives.

Tech knows Jedi have rules about dating and so on, but thanks to his intelligence, is able to loop hole around it and eventually let it be public (beyond his brother and sister) without any fear.

Loves to shower his lover with gifts, especially if you bring back some cool item on one of your missions.

——

Echo:

Unlike the rest of the batch, he’d already seen plenty of Jedi fighting and knew a lot of lore (the guy carried a manual a good portion of his life after all).

Still, it wasn’t to say he wasn’t impressed by Y/N’s moves, and once he became the batch’s Jedi, he was crushing hard.

He basically was the perfect gentleman for you. Making sure you got off the ship okay (hand holding bonus), back you up in battle (he surprisingly felt more alive fighting side by side with you)

He didn’t confess his feelings for awhile, mainly due to being part cyborg and all.

But you didn’t care, in fact, it got you to show him one of your favorite holo shows with a cyborg character.

Made him feel better, and it was during said binging holo dates, that he made a move.

Loves to see you use the force, maybe more way than one if you know what he means.

Will not let any Sith hurt you is he can help it. Beware Grevious and more.

——

Wrecker:

This guy is the king of the party, so it’s no surprise first meet up was at the 79s bar.

He was just chilling with his brothers, when across the bar he spots you.

He is usually upbeat and social, but he could literally feel his palms sweating just wondering what he should do.

His brothers encourage him, and so he does, and good timing too. Some drunk brute tries to assault you.

He cracks his knuckles and gets ready to throw hands. But then he sees you (after the brute knocks your drink off the bar) circle throw him into a nearby table before calmly asking the bartender for another drink.

Yeah, he was smitten. And the night seem to go by like that, and before he knew it, he was leaving the bar with his brothers, with your pad number in hand.

First kiss was defiantly after a usual sparring date, and it may of gotten heated.

Loves to show you affection, no Jedi or clone can stop him.

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cosmicmunsonwrites · 2 years ago

Text

always forever pt 2

pairing(s): anakin skywalker x oc!padawan

warnings: puking

summary: after getting hurt in battle, anakin and obi-wan are there to comfort serenity.

authors note: hi guys. this is another snippet of my anakin skywalker fic on wattpad! read here.

not edited

do not copy my works. i do not condone rewrites, translations, or edited versions. all my content is my content that i wrote.

not my gif

her head was spinning, her stomach cramping, and the acidic fluid was slowly crawling up her chest to her throat. she managed to swallow it back down and open her eyes, looking around at the basic room. she'd never been here before. she didn't recognize it at all.

she attempted to sit up, immediately hearing a protest from across the room. "i wouldn't do that if i were you," anakin said.

she groaned and laid back, rubbing her eyes and looking over at him. "what?"

"its not smart to try to get up right now," he said softly. "you're hurt."

she sighed and immediately felt the pain in her thigh return. "i'm fine," she lied.

the corners of his lips curled up slightly. "oh really? tell your mind that."

"you're reading my thoughts?" she asked curiously. qui-gon had taught her how to keep people out of her head. she'd been using that technique ever since. how was he doing that?

he let out a chuckle under his breath. "because you're hurt," he replied. "it makes you more vulnerable. when we first met, i couldn't read anything."

before she even had the opportunity to reply, the door was opening and her mentor was entering the room. she feared what he'd say. maybe he'd never send her on a mission again. it wasn't her first, but she felt as though it may be her last due to this. and his silence was only making it worse.

"i'm sorry master," she blurted out immediately in defeat. "i failed you."

he moved to sit on the side of the bed next to her, a comforting smile on his lips. "no need to apologize. you did not fail me, dear. things happen and thats alright. not everything goes as planned. you handled it better than i could've asked," he said softly, holding her hand in his own. "i should've never sent you out there with no protection. because of my reckless decision, you got hurt."

maybe if i were a better fighter and less scared of the possibilities, i would've never gotten hurt and i could've completed the mission, she thought, completely forgetting the two could read what she was thinking.

obi-wan let out a soft sigh and squeezed her hand tighter. "anakin, may i have a word with serenity? alone please?"

he nodded. "yes master," he complied, stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

"you did not fail me, serenity," the jedi said. "you are one of the greatest i have ever known. at your age, i couldn't do half the things you can. if i were in your situation, that hunter would've killed me. you can even ask qui-gon. therefore you should be proud, dear. you held your own."

she shook her head slowly. "if i didn't waste so much energy, i could've taken him and got the job done. i wasn't thinking and it cost everything."

"it did not," he reassured. "my top priority isn't finding some planet or meeting the prime minister, its about keeping you and anakin safe. and you're still alive, aren't you?" she nodded in response. "then you have nothing to worry about. you did better than i could've ever asked of you."

she squeezed his hand tighter and took a much needed deep breath. "thank you master."

he gave her a crooked smile. "now keep those negative thoughts out, alright? i'm proud of you, dear," he said before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "anakin, you may come in."

the padawan quickly returned, once again closing the door behind him and returning to his spot by the corner.

"why did he come after me?" serenity asked suddenly. "the hunters. i thought they wanted senator amidala."

"it is clear that they've also taken a liking to you and your abilities as well," obi-wan said distastefully with a scowl. "that yellow mist was to weaken you. we're not sure how long it'll take to wear off, but the nurses gave you something to help bring it back up faster. and until we can confirm your safety from these hunters, anakin will be stationed with you to keep you protected while you heal."

she dug the heels of her hands into her eyes and groaned. "i'm fine master. i feel normal."

"i can read you, reni. you're not fine," he replied like a parent.

she huffed out a frustrated breath, immediately regretting that decision when she felt a burn slide along her throat. she immediately sat up despite the pain in her body and headed towards the bathroom. leaning over the toilet to vomit up the contents of her stomach. she felt a comforting hand on her upper back and another holding her hair away from her face.

she felt like she wanted to cry. she wasn't sure the last time she genuinely did cry, but her fear of throwing up was really hitting her like a bus right now.

once she felt somewhat okay, she used a paper towel that was laid out to wipe her mouth and lean back against the wall. she watched as obi-wan entered the bathroom while anakin continued rubbing soft circles with his palms.

"you feel fine, right?" their master teased softly.

she nodded, stomach turning again. "i do. i just have a fear of vomiting," she admitted embarrassingly.

"you're meant to fight in some of the most difficult situations and you swore yourself to the jedi code for a lifetime but you fear vomiting?" he said with a slight grin, trying to hold his laugh back.

she once again nodded with a straight face. just thinking about it was enough to cause her to hurl over the toilet and let out whatever was sitting uneasily in her stomach. anakin held her hair away again, lightly patting on her back this time to try to get everything out to spare her from this pain again.

she wiped her mouth once more and leaned back, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. she absolutely hated this disgusting feeling. "i don't think i have anything else left in me right now," she mumbled weakly under her breath.

"do you want to lay back down?" anakin asked softly, offering a hand for her to take, which she gratefully did with a soft 'yes.' he carefully pulled her up and escorted her into the bed with a hand on her lower back, making sure she didn't fall or anything on the way.

"i'm gonna go get you something to eat, alright? you need something in your stomach after that." obi-wan said. "watch over the room anakin, i will return shortly." and with that, he disappeared out of the room.

the padawan trailed over to the singular sofa and took a seat to give his legs a break. "you shouldn't beat yourself up over this too much you know," he said softly. "one time when i messed up so bad, he banned me from going on missions for three months until i finally got over myself and admitted that it wasn't my fault," he explained quickly. "the sooner you admit that it wasn't your fault, the faster this journey will continue for you."

"three months is harsh," she chuckled softly. "is that why he took me on missions so often for a while?"

anakin couldn't help but let out a laugh. "probably." the room fell into a comfortable silence now. he looked over at the bed she was laying in then towards the door their mentor would be walking through soon. "he seems to really care for you."

she was a bit caught off, trying to comprehend what he was talking about. "what?"

"master kenobi," he said clearly. "he seems like he has a soft spot for you." he shifted slightly in his seat and got a bit more comfortable. "how'd you two meet anyway?"

"i could ask you the same," she replied with a slight grin.

he smiled and breathily chuckled. "i'll tell you if you tell me," he offered.

#gracie writes anakin skywalker 🥀#anakin and padme #anakin and ahsoka #anakin x reader #anakin smut #sw anakin #anakin fanfiction #obi wan and anakin #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin x you #fanfiction #star wars #darth vader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan star wars

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marinersubmariner · 1 year ago

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I finished Jedi Survivor, gotta blab about it!

SPOILER SPACE

BODE?!??!??!? I kept thinking he was gonna die, especially in the lead-up to the final Dagan fight—they gave him so many hallmarks of a tragic death that I never suspected a classic video game companion betrayal (one of my favorite things!!!)! So that twist threw me for a LOOP, not just the betrayal but then the reveal that HE WAS A JEDI TOO WHAAAATTTTTT!!??!?!?! Absolutely bananas.

It's funny because Dagan's death felt pretty anticlimactic, and I knew the game wasn't over yet so I was like… what else is there? And I still couldn't have anticipated how OH SHIT the "what else" part could be.

Because then it's PLAYABLE CERE!!!! Which was so fun because she felt SO powerful to play as, and the whole time I was reeling about the betrayal and why am I Cere now what the fuck what the fuck what the fuccckkkkk. And then as soon as the door opened on Vader I instantly got teary-eyed because I knew exactly how that was gonna end. Of COURSE you're out-of-left-field playing as Cere for her last stand. ;___; Of COURSE they couldn't include Vader just for the player to narrowly escape again. ;___; Cere wasn't even my favorite character and she felt so distant in this game, but having her death take place amidst the destruction of the archive that she'd been building that whole time, plus HER LAST WORD BEING "TRILLA," plus BEING MURDERED BY VADER EXACTLY LIKE TRILLA... way to make it as painful as it could possibly be!!!!!! I gotta say, not only do these games make Vader VERY scary, they also make me hate him more than ever. FUCK YOOOOUUU MURDER MACHINE

I am shocked they went all-in on Cal/Merrin just because… romance in Star Wars????? Since when??? Hahahahaaaa…….. I kid, I kid, we have fun. I love them. Although my main inclination in the first game was Cal/Trilla (it was immediately after TROS and the extreme Reylo of it got to me!!) and somewhere along the way I had gotten the impression that Merrin was a lesbian (or maybe that's just the default Nightsister vibe). But truly I consider everyone in SW to be bi/pan/ace/anything but fully straight, so honestly, whatever. Related side note: I was really pleasantly surprised by the directness about how many supporting characters here were gay!

I LOVED the first kiss followed by the totally bonkers portal-jumping battle, that was such cool teamwork. And the end of the game was sooooo saaaad but thankfully they both lived and so now I'm real emo about the orphan Jedi and the orphan witch and how far they've come since she tried to kill him. 😭

Backtracking a bit I REALLY enjoyed Dagan getting dumped out of the bacta tank, getting pissed off, and IMMEDIATELY bleeding his crystal. It was very ooooohhh SHIT dude making some major life decisions here!! So cool! So dramatic! Escalated so quickly! I'm pleased that I did end up enjoying Dagan a decent amount, because going into this I was annoyed by a) not liking Cody Fern's face and b) not liking the High Republic aesthetic.

Honestly I was very ready to dislike both Dagan and Bode because I was really not happy with the previews showing they added a bunch of dudes while hiding Merrin and Cere, and Trilla being dead…… blugh. But thankfully trailers are misleading and there was plenty of Merrin. (and her surprise entrance was THRILLLINNGGGG) And the dudes were alright and they wound up dead anyway. So! …Hm.

IT WAS SO SAD. I'M SO SAD. The "Ghost Star" lullaby was so pretty and haunting and it messed me up BAD, because of course I'm not just thinking of this game I'm thinking of all my dead Star Wars friends (and obvs one ghost in particular…….. sob). There are so many. Star Wars is littered with corpses. AND IT'S SO SAD.

Cal using the dark side was craazzzyyyyyy and when the first prompt for it came on screen I was like "uh oh!!!! I don't wanna." Wild how becoming more powerful in a video game can be so fun and so upsetting at the same time. I did actually die in the final fight with Bode because I refused to tap into the dark side when prompted, lol. I was like "maybe if I don't do it something different will happen!" Haha, nope! USE THE DARK SIDE OR DIE. Which is an interesting moral quandary for Star Wars, because if the dark side is always more powerful 100% of the time, and there are certain situations where it's either fight a dark side opponent or die… what does the Force really want you to do? Stick to the light side and be defeated? Is the ultimate end goal of the Force for everything to die and become one with it? AH JEEZ

Part of me expected Tanalorr to not work out in the end, because "magical top secret planet where we can hide and be safe forever" is obviously too good to be true. But I also think every pre-OT story is always having to find an out for why these characters weren't around for the OT, so in that sense of course Tanalorr had to work out! It's the perfect loophole for this time period! It just felt like every story beat was pointing to the dream of Tanalorr being too much of a corrupting influence—Dagan lost his arm, Santari, and then his life because he refused to let go, and then Bode did the same, and I thought it would come down to Cal also facing that dark path and being forced to give up the dream, like by having to choose between Merrin and Tanalorr. In Grail quests you always have to give up the Grail! But no, now they're really gonna live in the ethereal weird forbidden promised land. FEELS CREEPY BUT OKAY

On the one hand I do kind of wish there had been more planets to explore—it felt strange for the journey to be less expansive than Fallen Order. But there was still so much to do on Koboh and they had some cool locations in there nonetheless. I'm just greedy for ~*~galactic exploration~*~! Anyway they made up for it with the strong story, because I think the plot and character work in this one were even better than Fallen Order.

I'm not sure how to piece it all together but I liked the small late-game talk of Vader and the Inquisitorius acting outside of regular Imperial command, when you're undercover and you get the scoop that there's a rivalry with the ISB and that the Jedha attack that happened was not the Jedha attack that was planned. Empire/Sith infighting, Vader vs. Tarkin and Krennic, how does stifled ISB employee Dedra Meero fit into all this, hm hm hm much to think about. Bode was a former Jedi being used by the Empire but he wasn't an Inquisitor—it was the same thing in the end but the particular type of tragedy was different. Wizards in the Empire but the Empire hates wizards, which type of leash are they gonna put you on and who's actually holding the leash?

Fav saloon regulars: TURGLE, of course I knew everybody loved Turgle, what a goober, A+, amazing frog; Caij, because apparently it's a biological imperative that all Nautolans are cool as hell; best bartender Monk; and I particularly enjoyed all the conversations with Tulakt and Moran.

Of course I was thrilled when I first encountered Skoova, his little hover fishing schooner was the BEST. Just an absolutely stellar amount of funky alien dudes in this game.

The powerful heavy swings that the crossguard stance uses…… hehehehehehehehehe. Where did they get that idea I wonder!!!!!! The only thing is that I don't like how small and thin the High Republic-style quillons are, so the aesthetic isn't as satisfying and proportional as Kylo's saber. You gotta beef up those crossguards fellas!

I didn't know that there was an interim story to explain why Greez has a prosthetic arm now, so I was like "did I really forget THAT MUCH of Fallen Order?" Even I can't keep up with all these Star Wars! I liked Greez a lot in the first game (MY PLANT GUY!!!!) but I really loved him even more in this one—he seemed much softer than I remember with his devotion to Cal and their whole family unit. And his braided hair of course delighted me.

And speaking of delightful new hair: Merrin's haircut! I LOVE HER SO MUCH. They gave her so much great deadpan humor while also enhancing her emotional maturity, so not only is she still super cool she's also soft and nice when it's called for, and I'M SO GLAD SHE DIDN'T DIE.

Kata is extremely cute and I'm already dreading her looming apprenticeship and the long-term outcome of who makes it to the next generation. I'm always having to remind myself of the bigger picture that Cal is older than Luke. And I certainly can't handle the thought of old Cal or dead Cal, but when you add kids into the mix, that's where this is headed!!!!!!

I took so many goddamn screencaps I'm probably only gonna post a minuscule fraction of them, but there were so many good aesthetic things and fun details to look at. And honestly part of my excessive snapping away involved lofty notions of using things as fanart reference. I LOVED all the new hair and wardrobe options because I absolutely just used Cal for Ben Solo AU cosplay. 🤪😎🤩✌️💀 The windswept hair is so good!!!! I mean I mainly chose it to look like Ben but it also just looked really good on Cal, to the point where it's hard to see him with short hair anymore, although I really should try out some of the goofier looks. (so many facial hair options that I hate and look stupid on precious ginger babyface!!!)

I just get soooooo excited about being able to explore and take pictures inside a Star Wars thing, and play dress-up and pick hairstyles and decorate and do all that silly life sim stuff but in space! Games capture such a unique experience of discovering worldbuilding minutiae, and I love having the ability to just look at things and take in the environment at your own pace, it makes me so happy. Even the goofy LEGO game gave me that feeling. It's just so nice! I love wandering! Observing! Interacting! Running my little guys around! Having my own experience that can't be easily ruined by a shitty story!

It's made me reminisce about playable Kylo and Rey in Battlefront and how I wish you could combine them with the exploration/story/gameplay style of the Jedi games and the [nearest approximation of] post-canon Ben Solo of the LEGO game, and THAT would probably be my ideal Star War (outside of, you know, a new movie that checks off every single item on my impossible wish list hahahaaagdhagdsf). Dress them up and customize their lightsabers and their home base and their spaceship and give them a droid friend and a garden and take them on new adventures on new planets… The Dream 😭

I actually started ruminating on whether I can do screencap mashups of Battlefront character models in Survivor outfits/environments, because I can't do mods, I am just a simple photoshopper and console gamer, but I want to pretend!!!!!! The problem is I don’t really like the Battlefront faces because they all look dead in the eyes. :/ The idea I settled on is that I might do some straight-up redraws instead. (WE'LL SEE. But the fact that I'm even mentioning this should tell you how completely lost in the sauce I am.) I briefly went looking and of course people have made Ben Solo mods for Survivor, but what you really gotta do is graft Cal's customization options onto Bode's body type or else it doesn't look right. Y'KNOW?!?? Size… matters……… I'm so sorry Yoda

Anyway!!!!!! Excellent gaming experience despite being terrible at Jedi parkour! Now back to tending my garden, hunting down post-game Force echoes, and rearranging Cal's wardrobe

#star wars #jedi survivor #sw meta #time once again for another round of star wars word vomit #will i find a way to make it about benjamin organa solo? you bet!!#coincidentally posting this while the reylos are melting down on twitter 🙃 every day i am in pain

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toschestationed · 1 year ago

Text

Knockout Ch. 20

Chapter Summary:

At the beginning of this expedition, if anyone had asked Fox, he would’ve sooner kissed a Gungan than traversed the lower levels with a squad of unfamiliar frontliners. However, after spending the better part of the last 24 hours with them, he’d grudgingly admit that they weren’t half-bad.

Chapter 20: A Bad Feeling About This…

Sure, a couple of them were too nosy for their own good, but that’s probably how they discovered the chips, and Fox would much rather have a nosy trooper than a dead one. And so far, they hadn’t accidentally picked a fight with a civvie or gotten lost in the underworld, which was more than he could say for most frontliners, Cody included. He also appreciated the fact that they were willing to pull their weight and help carry the medical supplies, even if he’d been hesitant at-first to accept the help when they’d offered.

It’d been a while since he received an offer of help from anyone other than another Corrie, at least, an offer without any strings attached. If there was anything he’d learned from working alongside the Senators, it was that there were always strings attached…

Then again, maybe he’d spent too long on Coruscant, if that was his first reaction to someone offering to share the load, but that reaction was something that kept him safe– and it kept his troopers safe too. They couldn’t rely on handouts from anyone, not even their brothers.

That instinct hadn’t come naturally, though, and realizing its necessity had been a battle hard-won. Growing up on Kamino, brothers shared everything with their closest vod, and that had been the same for Fox and his batch. Living in the same spaces, learning the same things, and nearly inhabiting the same skin, Fox could hardly describe what it felt like to be the one left behind on Coruscant while everyone else marched ahead.

He’d felt like he’d been dunked in the Kaminoan ocean the first time he noticed the growing rift between himself and his own brothers, and that rift only continued to grow as their supposed gap in experiences widened.

After the first few months of the war, he’d learned to stop comparing their experiences to his own. That usually got rolled eyes at-best and raised voices at-worst, especially when Wolffe was involved. To be fair, it was hard to compete with losing an entire battalion of brothers (not that the grief of a lost brother would ever be a competition), but especially in those early days after the Malevolence attack, Fox had learned quickly that a brother lost on the front lines wasn’t worth the same as a brother lost in the lower levels of Coruscant, and he’d never been able to forget it.

Between teasing jibes tinged with jealousy, then the cold indifference of Senators, civvies, and even at times the Jedi, he’d learned to keep his experiences to himself– and he’d shared that lesson with the rest of the Guard, although many of them came to that conclusion themselves. After all, how could the Guard possibly know what it was like to put their lives on the line for their vode?

(Nevermind the fact that their Republic wouldn’t give two kriffs about whether they lived or died, caring more for their profit margins and whether delicacy supply lines were obstructed by a war that killed their brothers by the thousands with every day that passed.)

But those thoughts were too dangerous– and probably more than a little treasonous, so Fox pushed them aside for now, focusing instead on the pack of medical supplies on his back and keeping a steady pace, ensuring they made good time to meet up with General Vos’ contact at the temple.

They were just turning a corner before the next turbolift– Rex and one of his troopers had fallen a little behind– when Fox’s comm started to chirp. Glancing at the others, Fox gave them a sign to stay put while he ducked into a nearby alleyway to answer the call without the others in-sight, just in case.

Fox’s paranoia came in handy when, instead of Stone or Thire on the other side of the line, Chancellor Palpatine’s voice crackled on the comms, and Fox took a moment to appreciate the fact that budget cuts had ridden the Guard of any holoprojectors that might have given away his unusual circumstances.

“Chancellor Palpatine, sir. What can I do for you?” He asked, tone stiffly professional in the way that most senators preferred.

“Tell me, Commander, have any of your men seen Captain Rex?” The Chancellor’s sickly-sweet tone was interrupted intermittently by comm static.

Comms were always a little buggy on-planet, given that any and all bandwidth was shared with literal trillions of life forms, but in this case it actually worked in Fox’s favor, providing an excuse for any background noise as he turned down another twisting alleyway and far away from Rex’s still-chipped mind. He thanked the Force that Rex had moved to the back of the group not-long ago, wanting to check up on Tup, who’d started lagging behind the tiniest bit.

“Not recently, sir. A squad reported seeing him near the GAR barracks landing pad, but that was a while ago.” Fox reported, creatively interpreting the truth– the Chancellor had always been too good at knowing when someone was lying, so Fox generally stuck to a policy of malicious compliance when interacting with the politician, not that he’d ever admit it. After all, a single trooper could count as a squad during a staffing shortage, which the Guard had been experiencing since the beginning of the war. The Chancellor didn’t need to know that trooper had been him.

The Chancellor’s chilling voice was carefully light even as he accepted Fox’s explanation. “Indeed? In that case, I would like you to post an all-points bulletin on Captain Rex. He has been reported MIA for 24 hours, and according to Kaminoan reports, may very well be carrying a dangerous pathogen, one causing fever, paranoia, and hallucinations. If seen, exercise extreme caution and move to apprehend him and any associates before additional contagion occurs, with lethal force if necessary, according to guidelines stated within Order 55.”

“Copy that, sir. I’ll notify the Guard.” Fox nodded stiffly, feigning cool indifference despite the way his heart was hammering in his chest. The bacta patch on his temple pulled at his skin, and his stomach tightened with dread even as he felt nearly dizzy with relief that he wasn’t about to be forced to hunt down Rex, his vod’ika and batchmate in every way that mattered. He turned his attention back to the Chancellor as he continued speaking.

“I trust that the Guard will not fail me, trooper?” The Chancellor asked, eyes as cold as ice. Even more than usual, Fox noticed his tendency to avoid using their names.

“Of course not, sir. We have this well in hand.” Fox responded, hands trembling the moment he shut off his comm, wary now of the not-quite-veiled threat towards the Guard should he fail. Taking in a shaky breath of air, Fox was unable to deny the lingering sense of deja vu he’d felt from that whole conversation…

This wasn’t the first time the Chancellor had activated his chip– or tried to, at least. Can’t activate what’s already gone.

Ignoring the growing pit in his stomach, Fox stumbled out of the alleyway he’d ducked into before running back to the rest of the group, breaths coming faster than the short distance justified.

“We’ve got a problem.” Fox announced, getting the attention of the rest of the group. Rex was back with the others now, so before he could do anything else, Fox grabbed the Captain’s wrist with a tight grip and removed his commlink before dropping it on the duracrete and crushing it with his boot.

“Fox, what the– Hey!” Rex started to protest, but Fox interrupted him, not bothering to waste his breath with an apology.

“Just got word of an all-points-bulletin on Rex, and anyone with him. The Chancellor must’ve gotten wind of the chips, somehow.”

“What?!”

“How the kriff did he–”

The others started to protest, but Fox cut them off again. They didn’t have time for this. “Look, I don’t know, but I need to contact my Corries and have them run interference, because he snuck in an Order 55 at the end, and I don’t want to see what that’ll do to my troopers in the long run.”

At that, Rex inhaled sharply, eyes widening at the realization. Fox had a moment of irrational panic, worrying that mentioning the Order by name could activate the one in Rex. Thankfully, the Captain couldn’t exactly follow-through with an all-points-bulletin on himself, even on the off-chance it had been activated, but he’d need to be more careful relaying the information to his troopers.

Inwardly, Fox groaned– he’d never be thinking like this if Stitch hadn’t confiscated his kaff after his concussion. The minute this was over, Fox promised himself the fanciest kaff he’d ever seen– the Senators were always ordering in from that overpriced kaff stand near the main entrance, and sometimes those orders went mysteriously missing. It wouldn’t be hard to add an extra shot or three to the chocolate monstrosity he’s seen Senator Taa get most mornings.

Fox’s mind still spun with what this could mean, even as he typed in Thire’s comm frequency. He didn’t like the implications of any of this, or why someone as high-up as the Chancellor would be trying to cover up the chip’s existence– and not long after a separatist vessel had hijacked a ship and kidnapped the supposed last living clone who knew about their true purpose.

He’d never trusted the Chancellor– not after experiencing the brunt of the man’s double-minded policies and general distaste for clones. It also didn’t help that most of his policies only served to lengthen the war that his vode were embroiled in, and for every budget cut or policy change that hurt the Guard, the Chancellor had been at the head of it.

Before pressing the last button to comm Thire, Fox glanced up at Fives. The ARC trooper had done the most work on figuring out the chip’s purpose, from what Fox had heard. “Will I activate my trooper’s chips if I contact them?” He asked, tone tight with nerves.

Fives blinked, surprised at being addressed before responding. “Uh, no, it should be fine. I’d avoid using the specific order number though, just to be safe. From what Boost and I could tell, when we were compiling the data, the signal to activate the chips was audio-based, but there seemed to be another part of it that didn’t quite make sense, like a failsafe. He thought it might be a way to differentiate between an individual activation or activating the whole GAR’s chips simultaneously.”

The squad went quiet at that remark, dread and horror filling the stale Coruscant air until Fox finally moved to comm Thire.

“Thire here. You back from the lower levels yet, Fox?” Thire asked, tone light but cautious, like always, and Fox took a moment to appreciate his second before throwing a wrench into everything.

“Not yet. I just got a comm from the Chancellor, ordering that we put an all-points-bulletin out on Captain Rex and anyone he’s associating with.” At this, Thire snorted, obviously aware that Fox was currently associating with Rex.

Fox’s tone was dry with amusement despite the circumstances as he continued. “Apparently, the Captain came into contact with a dangerous virus or something, causing fever, paranoia, and hallucinations, per Kaminoan reports. We’ve been ordered to exercise extreme caution and move to apprehend him and any associates.”

“Paranoia and hallucinations would explain you letting frontliners into the medbay, sir.” Fox didn’t have to see Thire’s face to know the other Commander was wearing an osik-eating grin.

But Fox’s expression shifted to one of seriousness as he continued, and the group’s earlier dread returned. “The Chancellor tried to use one of the Orders on me, and authorized lethal force. Somehow, Palpatine learned about the chips, and I’m not sure how much longer we can keep this under wraps, but we have contingencies for this.”

“Time for a bandwidth shortage, sir?” Thire asked, and for the second time that day, Fox thanked the Force for his second-in-command. Bandwidth shortage was code for a comms blackout, and while they were pretty common on Coruscant, it would be a strange day when the entire Coruscant Guard was completely unavailable over comms. Of course, they’d make sure an actual bandwidth shortage happened too, but sometimes it came in handy to make oneself intentionally difficult to reach.

“Time for a bandwidth shortage. We can’t turn off everything, not without gaining suspicion, but try to at least encompass the GAR barracks, the Guard headquarters, the Senate Dome, and anything near the Jedi Temple. They have their own servers, so it shouldn’t affect them quite as much, but better safe than sorry.”

“Can it cover the 500 Republica too? And the Senate Guard’s barracks? Kriffing natborns get all the nice quarters while we’re practically hot-racking, and Senator Nitschui’s been bullying the shinies again. I know for a fact that he’s got plans to see that new holodrama tonight, and I’d pay good money to see his face when the finale’s interrupted by a well-timed power grid cycling.” Thire asked, and Fox agreed easily.

“Fine. Also wouldn’t hurt to include one of the usual suspects in the mid-levels, just in case someone comes looking for a cause for the comms blackout.”

Whenever there was a power outage or a ‘bandwidth shortage,’ it usually came from the same couple places in the mid-levels, including one not too far from the Senate Dome. The Coruscant Guard weren’t the ones to cause the problem, but they’d be di’kuts not to take advantage of it when it happened. Especially after their first report about the issue had been blatantly disregarded– which was just another thing that had made Commander Fox suspicious of the Chancellor.

“We’ll get that set up on our side. I’ll also increase duty patrols to areas where the good captain was last spotted. The GAR barracks, right?”

Fox’s lips twitched in a half smile and he nodded in agreement, even if Thire couldn’t see it. “The landing pad, yeah. Thanks, vod. I owe you one.”

“Let me know if there’s anything you need, Fox.” Thire responded before ending the call, and Fox gave a small huff before putting away his own comm.

Turning towards the others, he spoke again. “The rest of you should ditch your comms too, or at least remove the power source. Probably not too many 501st signals this far down, and it wouldn’t take much for someone to put two-and-two together once they start looking for us.”

Fives and the others nodded firmly, choosing to dismantle their comms rather than destroying them entirely. Rex grumbled to himself, but it really was safer this way, so he couldn’t be too mad. As soon as the comms issue was dealt with, they continued on their way, picking up the pace now that they knew someone was on their tail.

Falling into step beside him, Rex asked Fox, “How do you think he knew? And what’s with that whole comms blackout thing?”

Fox raised an eyebrow. “How should I know? And we’ve been saving the bandwidth thing for a rainy day– never know when another clone rights bill will get shot down. It never hurts to be prepared.”

Rex snorted in amusement, and the group continued up the next turbolift together.

———————————————

They made it another two hours without spotting anyone, and Rex had just been starting to think that they’d make it home free when he caught sight of a flash of blue and white armor, and then another. They’d given 79’s a wide berth, not wanting to risk getting so close to a regular clone hangout, but Captain Rex knew a standard search pattern when he saw one, and it wasn’t long before they were dodging into alleys and side-streets every other minute. Even with the Coruscant Guard off the streets, there were still hundreds of 501st troopers on-planet for leave, and another hundred from the 41st, although the usual jovial air that followed troopers on shore leave was mysteriously missing.

It wasn’t until Hardcase froze in his tracks that Rex realized just how familiar one set of 501st armor looked.

“It’s Jesse—“ Hardcase hissed under his breath, eyes wide as Jesse led a squad around the corner ahead of them, and Rex caught a glimpse of the hard look on his face, alien despite the familiar tattoo. Rex’s heart ached for his troopers. Hardcase had already lost one batchmate (lost as-in missing, not lost as-in gone), and now seeing Jesse marching down alleyways stiffly with none of his usual assuredness— Jesse, who still didn’t know about what happened to Kix— Rex found himself staring too, until Fox pulled the two of them back behind the nearest storefront.

“This isn’t working.” Fox announced, eyes shifting between the two of them as he spoke. “This area is too heavily trafficked not to get caught, especially with a group this big, especially if you’re going to be gawking at every trooper we pass on the street.”

“It was my batchmate…” Hardcase murmured, and Fives squeezed his shoulder sympathetically. From what he could tell, the chips could be turned off again once they’d been activated, as long as the failsafe hadn’t been used, but it didn’t make it any easier to see Jesse walking around like a clanker, eyes dead and empty.

Understanding flashed in Fox’s eyes as he looked between the others. Rex spared one last glance for the street Jesse had disappeared from before coming to a decision. We need to split up. I’m the one with a target on my back, and the data’s a lot safer with one of you than it is with me.”

“W-We can’t just leave, Rex!” Fives cried, mindful of keeping his voice down at the last second.

“I’d stay with him, make our own way up to the rendezvous point.” Fox interrupted. Privately, he thought they’d be a little faster with a smaller group, especially because Tup had been slowing down this past hour or so. The younger trooper tried not to show it, but Fox suspected the Coruscant lights were starting to give him a migraine, if the way he kept wincing and adjusting his hood was any indication. Dogma had been keeping an eye on him, staying in-step with Tup and offering him some of his own water rations as they walked, but it was likely they wouldn’t be able to address the issue until after they got to the temple. Rex seemed to follow his train of thought, if the meaningful look towards the younger troopers was any indication. Rex didn’t want to endanger his troopers any more than Fox did.

Continuing, Fox explained the rest of his thoughts. “You, Fives, would lead the others the rest of the way to the rendezvous. It’ll take a little longer, but if you swing closer to Coco Town, there should be fewer patrols.”

Now it was Hardcase’s turn to protest. “Rex, we can’t just leave you behind!”

Rex sighed, looking tired. “Hardcase, the data’s most important. Now we know that even the Chancellor’s trying to hide their existence, and I don’t like it, but this is the best way to make sure that everyone makes it out of here in one piece.”

Fives looked like he wanted to protest again— this felt too much like abandoning a brother, leaving him behind— but the tactical part of him agreed that it made sense, no matter how much he tried to silence it. They’d been avoiding public transportation first for General Vos and then because of Rex, but if they were going their own way, then maybe Tup could finally catch a break. It wouldn’t be forever, just for the last couple hours of their journey until they brought the info about the chips to the Jedi.

Finally, Fives relented. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Rex, but alright.”

Hardcase grumbled in disagreement, but in the end, he gave in too, reaching forward to clasp the captain’s arm with a bruising grip. “Make sure you come back to us, sir.”

“I will.” Rex huffed, a small smile gracing his face as he nodded in agreement. Fives was quick to repeat the gesture with just as much strength. Rex gave Tup and Dogma a quick squeeze on the shoulders each before urging his troopers on their way. They’d be alright– all of them would be, and Fives could keep an eye on them until he saw them again.

Rex had almost managed to convince himself of this as they rounded the next corner– and ran straight into that same squad of troopers from earlier who'd apparently circled back around. They were clad in 501st blue, and a familiar voice startled Rex out of his thoughts as he stared at a blue republic cog on the trooper's helmet. “Identifications please.”

Rex had one last moment to be thankful he’d given the data back to Fives before everything descended into chaos.

———————————————

AO3 Link:

#my fics #my stuff #knockout fic #hard knocks ‘verse #chips arc #captain rex #commander fox #clone trooper hardcase #clone trooper tup #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper dogma

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ivystoryweaver · 1 year ago

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The Only One

Episode 7

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Summary: The last time you saw Poe was right before he blew up Starkliller Base - a huge victory for the Resistance. Things go to hell after that and you are separated from Poe, needing to rely on your instincts...and the Force. A huge secret starts to be revealed.

a/n: This Episode glosses over the events in the film The Last Jedi. You don't have to be knowledgeable about the sequel films to continue the story - everything that relates to Elia is summarized here. She is a bit separate from Poe during film events, so this is not a re-telling.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x female original character. Fic is written in second person, but the female "you" has a name (It reads basically the same as any other xreader)

Word Count: 1.6k

Content: violence, action, little angst (no more than in the films), not beta'd

PREVIOUSLY on "The Only One"...

He turned around one more time, granting you another sweet smile. “Wait for me, Ells. I’ll be right back.”

Somehow his humor and good nature gave you hope. Poe always gave you hope.

“May the Force be with you,” you whispered to no one really. Or, to all of them.

The next week was hell.

Which was, perhaps, what a demon like yourself deserved.

At first, the Resistance buzzed with the thrill of victory. Poe and his team destroyed Starkiller Base after Rebel legends Han Solo and Chewbacca worked together with the stormtrooper who defected and a young woman named Rey.

But before you could celebrate or have much of a reunion with Poe, the stormtrooper, who you learned was named Finn, was sent to medical in critical condition, while Rey supposedly flew away to find Luke Skywlaker.

Kylo Ren had murdered Han Solo.

You thought taking out Starkiller Base would give the Resistance a huge advantage in the uphill battle against the First Order, but the New Republic had suffered tremendous losses, crippling, if not obliterating support for the Resistance.

Your assignment kept you apart from Poe for days, so you hadn’t seen him since that fateful moment directly before the Starkiller Base battle.

...where he kissed you and asked you to wait for him.

So many had been lost since then - the chaos, nonstop. After the most recent attack took out most of Resistance command, someone named Holdo took over.

You were dying to see Poe, desperate to see for yourself that he was okay. Every time something else exploded, you felt sure you’d receive a report of his death. The stress piled up as you worked separately from Poe, thinking he might die, or you might die.

To make a desperate situation worse, the attack on the ship's bridge left Leia seriously wounded. And directly before Holdo took command, Poe was demoted, which infuriated you.

And, aside from the fact that you were (thankfully) able to focus, or hyper focus, as it were, on computer programming and other computer tech needs, the news of Commander Dameron's demotion was all you could think about...

...or talk about.

Thankfully, Perrha was with you for the past few days and was a wonderful grounding force for you.

Now, the Resistance was trying to safely land transports on the planet Crait.

Everyone watched in horror as one after the other, the First Order blew them out of the sky. You kept yourself busy working, tears streaming down your face at the thought of Poe being on one of those obliterated ships.

Poe felt the same way.

After maybe the worst week of his life (aside from when his mom died), Poe woke up from the little nap Leia's stun gun gave him. He listened patiently as Leia explained Holdo's plan, then watched in horror as transport after transport was obliterated.

"Where's Elia?" He asked Leia, as if she might somehow know. He had lost too many today, not only on the bridge, but when some of his closest friends died in the hangar explosion.

Leia shook her head, unsure.

Poe stared out into space. "Which one is she on?" He murmured, thankful that his new friend Finn was at least safe for the moment. Hopefully.

The planet's surface was so close. You and Perrha might make it through this. But who could be sure what awaited you on Crait, with the First Order bearing down hard?

As you entered the planet's atmosphere, the transport closest to yours exploded - near enough to your own that the blast and debris wreaked havoc. You were taking serious damage - hit hard enough to crash, just not to explode instantly like the neighboring transport.

Everyone around you was astoundingly calm, focused and professional, but a crash landing would not be avoidable.

Perrha's eyes met yours frantically as fire, debris and smoke filled the transport.

"We're not gonna make it," they gasped, coughing from all the smoke.

Panic gripped your heart. You didn't want to die. For once in your life, you really wanted to live and not just in terms of survival. You wanted to help the Resistance. You wanted them to win. You needed to learn about the Force, and ascertain from Leia if you were truly doomed to be a servant of the darkness.

Perrha was your friend and so was Poe. Your very best friend. Your heart broke as you thought of never seeing him again. It couldn't end this way.

So instead of giving in to despair, you opened yourself up to the flow of energy - no. The Force. A wall of fire swept through the transport.

"No." Your voice could barely be heard over the commotion. It wasn't a plea but a command.

Perrha cried out your name as you stretched out your hands and literally pushed the fire backward.

Your breathing steadied, your countenance - a mask of serenity. Your eyes fluttered closed as the Force surrounded you, flowed through you.

The fire would not touch you. Nor Perrha.

The remaining Resistance fighters watched from their transports, in awe, as a transport-on-fire gently touched down on the planet's surface.

You heard nothing. You only felt.

Calm.

Finally, you heard Perrha screaming your name. "This thing is gonna blow, come on!" They quite literally jerked you away - your boots thumping on the planet's surface as you ran for your life.

The ship exploded, knocking the survivors to the ground with a concussive force - dangerous, but not fatal.

Your ears rang, dusty salt filled your lungs, but Perrha hauled you up. You ran again, as fast as you had ever in your life.

The First Order had entered the planet's atmosphere and took up position at the mine entrance - the old Rebel base. Unfortunately, your transport's crash left you quite far away on foot. But thankfully, the First Order would assume your exploded crash site would leave no survivors - giving you time to run.

A battle raged overhead and in the distance. Blaster and cannon fire, and boot prints turned the ashy, salty surface blood red.

Your group finally made it to the mine, but there was no getting in the front entrance. The huge blaster door was sealed, but under heavy attack.

"Is there another way in?" You wondered aloud.

"Is there another way out?" Perrha countered, panicked. "Are they trapped in there?"

Your ragtag team rallied, determined to find a way to either get in to the safety of the mine, or help the remaining Resistance fighters escape, if they were trapped.

Suddenly you saw an old rust bucket ship zoom overhead and land at the edge of a shallow cliff.

Your team arrived just in time to see a young woman...making dozens of piles of rocks...float. This action served to clear a blocked path, allowing the Resistance fighters to escape the mine.

You saw the stormtrooper, Finn. The young woman must be Rey. You were so distracted by her dazzling display of the Force, that you almost didn't notice that just beside Finn...

was Poe.

Finn raced into Rey's arms for a hug, but it was Poe who noticed your ash-covered, singed, rag-tag crew, confused, for a moment, as to why you would have appeared with Rey.

"Elia," he breathed, pushing his way past anyone and everything in his path, including the huge boulders Rey had lifted moments before.

You were an adorable mess, most of your hair had tumbled out of your twin buns. Soot tarnished your cheeks and clothes. By some miracle your unlaced boots stayed in place while you ran for your life.

As Poe clambered toward you, your hands anxiously grabbed for your backpack straps…only to come up empty.

“M-my backpack,” you gasped, frantically touching your arms and chest.

Okay, people were dead.

Your transport crashed and exploded.

You only survived because you wielded the Force and ran for your life.

The First Order was bearing down.

Poe was alive!

But your brain?

“My backpack,” you repeated, desperately, craving the familiar soothing touchstone of its frayed straps.

“Here, sweetheart,” Poe gently offered, reaching for the fallen strap, to pull it back onto your shoulder. “Looks like the other one got burned.”

Which meant…

You grabbed for the other strap urgently, realizing the little pack might have been destroyed, leaving your wings out in the open.

Poe, so relieved to see you alive, wishing with all his heart that the could throw his arms around you, tried to understand…

“No, no no …” You shook your head, eyes wide with horror.

“Ells?” He asked, confused, holding up his hands in a supplicating manner, trying to show you he wouldn’t touch you if you didn’t want him to. “Baby, are you hurt?”

“I can’t…my backpack,” you gasped, short of breath. “I can’t…” Shaking your head rapidly, you backed away, running into Perrha…who got a look at your exposed back.

“Oh, Elia. A-are you - w-what happened…” they trailed off, glancing at Poe, confused at the sight of your tightly furled, dark wings. Perrha wasn’t sure if you were burned, or what was going on.

“What is it?” He demanded. “Is she hurt?” He reached for your arm to turn you around, but before his hand made contact, you clenched your fists and cried out.

“No!”

…sending tiny bits of rock flying outward from you body in every direction.

This got Rey’s attention.

As far as the young Jedi trainee knew, she and Leia were the only ones capable of this sort of thing.

Poe backed away, stunned, brushing bits of gravel from his face and hair, exchanging worried glances with Perrha, but determined to make sure you were all right.

He thought to approach you, but stopped short at a miraculous sight.

Your hair had tumbled down, beautiful and wild, your eyes closed in concentration.

Hands clenched by your sides, you held yourself still as bits of rock and earth circled you slowly.

And behind you, dark, slick wings unfurled.

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goosewriting · 1 year ago

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Across the Galaxy and Beyond

summary: some time after the Mantis crew split apart, Cal has an unexpected reunion with reader on Koboh

relationship: Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for Jedi Survivor, vague-ish mention of events from the Battle Scars book but i don't think it counts as a spoiler, hurt & comfort, flashbacks, kissing

word count: 8.9k 👀💧 ...i am unwell about this man what can i say

A/N: started writing this when i first started jedi survivor, and finally got around to finishing it now that i finished reading battle scars and the cal kestis brainworms are attacking me again. story doesn't follow the game exactly. also this could be read as a separate story from my wherever you go, i go trilogy, but i like to think it's the same reader and timeline lol so go read that if you haven't c:

Navigation: Part 1 (you’re here!) | Part 2 (wip)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — — Part 1: Just like old times

After Cal's escape from Coruscant, the Mantis was pretty shredded. The main problem was the gyro, but upon entering Koboh's atmosphere, all systems started failing and the Jedi had to make an emergency landing somewhere on some cliffs.

It took a lot of climbing and wall-jumping and fighting the aggressive local fauna, but after a couple of hours, Cal and BD finally made it to the outpost where Greez' cantina was located. On the way there he also encountered bandits who called themselves the Bedlam Raiders, as well as old Separatists battleships and battle droids, of all things. Just what has Greez got himself into?, Cal thinks to himself after saving a local from Rayvis, the leader of the Raiders, and outing himself as a Jedi in the process.

When Cal and BD finally enter Pyloon's Saloon, they meet with Greez. Since the Raiders have just been at the saloon (and the place doesn't look all too inviting either), there are no customers, so Cal and Greez catch up at the bar. The Latero is extremely happy to see the boy and his droid in one piece after all this time. Over a drink, the redhead tells him about the last job on Coruscant gone wrong, how only two of them made it out. He expresses his frustration, how the Empire is only growing stronger and everything he does feels pointless. Things haven't been easy since the Mantis crew split up.

After catching up a little, Greez tells Cal that he has some spare parts and will take care of the ship. He'll send someone to bring the ship to the landing dock behind the saloon. In the meantime, he should take a breather and explore the outpost. Cal doesn't like feeling like he's wasting time, but with the state the Mantis is in, there really isn't much else he can do.

The Latero shows him the room in the basement, telling Cal he can stay as long as he needs. Greez wasn't kidding when he said he had a room just for Cal: there was a meditation area in the middle of the round room, and even his old clothes and some unfinished tech projects were all stashed away in a big chest.

They both sit down on the edge of the bed, and it doesn't take long for the conversation to take a direction Cal doesn't like. Not because what Greez is saying is wrong; on the contrary, he's probably right, but the redhead doesn't want to hear it. Not right now. Greez, in a genuinely concerned tone, goes on about how the game is rigged and Cal should walk away while he can, maybe even settle down somewhere. Cal lashes out for a moment, claiming someone has to keep fighting.

— — —

You approach the stable in the outpost riding on your nekko, humming a happy tune to yourself. You're lost in thought, letting your trusty mount walk the last stretch to the stalls by himself, as he knew the way. Once you reach the structure, you get off and start putting away your haul; you just came from a successful hunt. You'd skin and prepare everything later though, so you pack the preys away in special boxes where everything would be preserved for a couple of days.

“Hello master,” a robotic yet chirpy voice greets you.

You turn around with a smile, facing the Separatist battle droid you had found and reprogrammed to help you out at the stable.

“Hey there, Connor,” you greet back. You've told him several times not to call you that, but he insisted, saying you saved him and now his purpose was to serve you. You take a moment to inspect his blue and black markings that have started chipping more noticeably; maybe it's time for a new paint job.

“Did I miss anything while I was gone?” you ask, taking the saddle off your nekko and placing it onto the designated wooden beam.

“Yes, in fact,” Connor replies, placing new food and clean water in the trough. “There's a ship on the landing pad behind the saloon that I've never seen before.”

“Is that so? What kinda ship?”

“A modified S-161 Stinger, and it's pretty busted up. I'm surprised it even made it this far.”

You stop in your tracks, your grip tightening around the halter you just took off the nekko, which is now happily munching away on its fresh feed.

“Interesting,” you remark, putting the rest of the equipment away and turning around to face the droid. Since you spent most of the day down in some caves, you didn't see or hear anything. “Do you know who was on board?”

“I didn't see who came off the ship, but I overheard some prospectors talk about a newcomer that went one on one with Rayvis,” Connor comments, then leans in closer to you, looking around as if to make sure no one would be listening in on your conversations, when it's clearly just the two of you at the stable. “I also heard Turgle mentioning a Jedi being seen around here.”

“Huh,” is all you manage to say, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. There was no way he was here, right? After all this time? As far as you know, he doesn't even know you're here. So if it is him, he isn't here to see you, but Greez instead. It's probably because of the Mantis; Cal is in need of repairs. This thought immediately replaces the initial anticipation with a strange, cold feeling.

“Can you believe it?” Connor goes on. “I've never even seen a Jedi. I would love to meet them.”

You take a long look at the droid, remembering the state you had found him in. He had never been in the war, actually. He spent several years in an abandoned Separatist camp, never even getting to be activated. So he only knew his programming: serve the Separatists, fight the clones and kill the Jedi. Yet he had never lived any of it. Reprogramming him had been easy in that regard, as his memory banks were mostly blank. Back then you were looking for a droid companion to help you out at the stables, and even though you know what battle droids mean to the Jedi, you can't help but think that they are kinda cute. The B1 models, at least. The B2 series and commandos are pretty scary.

So you gave your new friend a name (you couldn't decide between Hank and Connor, but decided to go with the latter as it somehow suited his demeanour better) and a new purpose in life, and he seems content with that. The only fighting program you left in him is for defending the stable and nekkos. First and foremost it is his mission that they are not harmed. You also ordered him not to leave the outpost, for his own safety. You don't want the raiders to find him and get access to his memory bank. They would use the information against all of you at the outpost, and either scrap him or reprogram him to join the raiders. Once they were dealt with, however, you promised Connor you would take him around Koboh first, then show him the galaxy.

“I'm going to the saloon,” you announce. “Can you take care of the rest?”

“Roger roger!” Connor replies with a salute, getting to work.

You find yourself smoothing out your clothes and hair as you make the short trip to the saloon. When you reach the bar you're met with Monk, the witty bartender droid. He greets you with a happy tone and some strange phrase that you don't entirely understand, as he always does. You ask for Greez, and he points towards the door to the side, saying he's in the basement with some old friend of his that just dropped by.

With a gulp and a forced smile, you thank him and head down the stairs. The urge to turn on your heel and run away grows with every step. As you're about to reach the door, you hear voices coming from the other side.

“-to be something more than a lightsaber.” That's Greez, you think. He sounds… sad? “Think of yourself. Settle down, find a home.”

“What home, Greez?” You swear your heart actually stops beating and accelerates at the same time when you hear the voice, his voice. “There is no home. Home was the Order. It was my teacher.”

You've stopped a couple steps away from the door so it wouldn't open and have you interrupt the conversation, but you involuntarily lean forward to hear better what Cal says next.

“It was everyone I lost… Home was the Mantis with you, Cere, Merrin, and–”

The automatic door whooshes open and Cal and Greez turn their heads towards you as they stand up from the bed they were sitting on.

“I- I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sheepishly state after a moment of uncomfortable silence from everyone, approaching him but staying at a distance. “Hey, Cal. It's been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” he retorts, and you can't really read the tone of his voice.

You look each other up and down, taking in how different you both look since… Since the last time you saw each other. Since you split up.

A thousand thoughts go through your head, and a thousand different feelings resurface, making your heart tighten in your chest, like there isn't enough space for everything it's trying to process.

Greez can't take the tension anymore, so he clears his throat loudly.

“Lemme show you something, Cal,” the Latero says as he walks towards a panel on the far side of the room. He presses a couple of buttons and a section of the wall slides open with a creak, revealing a path behind it. “This is an old smuggler's tunnel, you'll find spare parts in there. Just… be careful, I have a pest problem.”

With that, Greez walks by both of you, giving your arm an encouraging pat, before leaving the room. It's just you and Cal now.

“Spare parts?” you ask, trying to make some conversation. “For the Mantis, I take it?”

“Yeah,” Cal replies, looking at the tunnel entrance but not moving from where he stands. “Gyro's fried.”

You two stand there in silence, and you want to smack yourself in the face. You feel like an awkward 12-year-old all over again, not knowing how to talk to your cr– You stop your train of thought before you dare finish that sentence and potentially embarrass yourself further. The heat on your cheeks that refuses to leave your face since you've laid eyes on the Jedi can't possibly have gone unnoticed by him.

“You know, Greez has had this room set up for you for quite a while,” you tell Cal, shooting him a quick smile. “So I take it you'll be staying for a while, right? The Mantis isn't going anywhere.”

Cal shrugs and shoots you a quick, unsure glance, then casts his eyes back down, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was just about to head out,” you lie. Your plan for the evening was to have a drink at the bar and unwind, but him being here changes everything. “You could join me and I'll show you around if you'd like…”

Cal looks at the tunnel again, weighing the options in his mind. One is going down there to fix the Mantis as soon as possible, then taking off to who knows where. The other… you're not so sure. And if you're being honest with yourself, you're too scared to ask.

“Sure, why not,” he finally agrees with a sigh and starts walking towards the door that directly leads outside from the basement, but you feel like something, or rather someone, is missing. You look around the room, scanning your surroundings for a certain droid, then turn back to Cal.

“W-Where's BD?” you ask, fearing the worst. You'd really hate it if something happened to him.

“Oh, he wandered off somewhere earlier,” Cal says and you release a breath of relief. After calling for him, the little droid comes hopping down the stairs and into the room.

“BD!” you greet the little companion, and he excitedly beeps at your reunion. He comes running towards you and you pick him up in a hug.

“Oh, how I've missed you,” you spin him around a couple of times, then set him back down onto the floor. “I have a droid of my own now, but you're still the cutest. Don't tell him, though,” you add with a wink.

“You have a droid?” Cal asks as BD climbs onto his back and you all make your way out.

“Yeah, he helps me out at the stable,” you explain, pointing at the building as you reach the end of the stairs. The stable is practically behind the saloon. From these stairs it's a very short trek to reach the paddocks.

“Those are nekkos, right?” Cal questions, approaching the fence and looking at the two animals chilling in the sun. “I met Mosey earlier. She said she worked at the stable,” he turns around to look at you. “But she didn't mention you.”

You're about to retort by saying she couldn't have possibly known that you two knew each other, but you're interrupted by a chirpy voice.

“Master! You're back already?”

At the sound of the familiar robotic voice, Cal instinctively draws his lightsaber, and turns towards the side entrance to the stable. You hurry to get between your droid and the Jedi; you don't want to see Connor get sliced today. Not by him. Said droid peeks out from behind the archway, and BD beeps repeatedly, alarmed.

“Wait!” you exclaim, holding your hands up into the air defensively. “That's my droid!”

“Your- Your droid?” Cal repeats, clearly confused. He puts away his weapon nonetheless.

“He's reprogrammed, and he's never even been in the war,” you explain, walking backwards as Cal starts approaching the stable to inspect the battle droid further, with you still between them. “He was never even activated. He's good, I promise!”

“Master, who's this?” Connor asks, walking back into the stable to make room for Cal and you. “Is he bothering you?” The droid activates the blaster you had built into one of his arms, and Cal's hand goes to the hilt of his sabre again, while BD beeps in exasperation.

“No, stand down!” you order, and the blaster immediately turns off with a whirr. “Will everyone please calm down?”

Still standing between Cal and the battle droid, you let out a huff, looking from one to the other.

“Cal, BD; this is Connor, my droid,” you start introducing them. “My good and reprogrammed droid, whose mission is to protect the stable and the nekkos, nothing more.”

Cal seems unimpressed, still looking at Connor with narrowed eyes. You turn to the droid.

“Connor; these are Cal and BD,” you start. “And you know what? Cal here–” You look at Connor with raised brows and lower your voice. “–is a Jedi.”

Connor brings his hands up to where his mouth would be, gasping in surprise.

“You- You are?” he asks, quickly going around you to take Cal's hand and shaking it vigorously. “It's such an honour! I've always wanted to meet a Jedi!”

“So you could get up all close and stab me in the back?” Cal retorts, his voice laced with uncharacteristic venom, and pulls his hand from the droid's grasp.

“What? No, I–” Connor starts but you push him to the side a bit.

“It's okay, Connor. He'll warm up to you, eventually,” you comfort him. “Please go get the nekkos ready for us?”

You've never heard a sadder 'roger roger' in your life and it sends a sting of pain through your chest.

While the droid goes to prepare your mounts, you turn around to Cal and frown at him. He crosses his arms in front of his chest defensively.

“Why would you say something like that? He's genuinely excited to meet you,” you explain. “When was the last time someone was actually happy to see a Jedi, hm?”

“Not a battle droid, that's for sure,” Cal retorts with a huff.

You look up at him for a moment, holding his rather cold gaze. You wonder just what happened these past few years that had him like this. Sure, you understand why he isn't a fan of battle droids. Normally you aren't either. But there's just something about Cal that's… different. He looks older, but it might just be the beard. He also looks more tired, carries himself differently. With confidence like he always did, but also in a “don't mess with me” way that wasn't there before. Gone is the spark in his eyes, that glimmer of optimism and hope, replaced by the promise of not holding back if anyone were to cross him.

For several moments, you just look at each other, and you're sure he's analysing you just as you are him, and you wonder what is going through his head.

“The nekkos are ready,” Connor announces, leading both of them out of their respective stalls by the reins.

You allow the animals to sniff Cal and inspect him, while you give a short explanation on how to ride and guide them. Cal's mount is white with a dark face and legs, while yours is a dark purple and brown. After thanking Connor and waving him goodbye, you both hop onto the saddle and head out of the outpost. You know your way around, taking a route that would keep you hidden from the patrols, both the imperial ones as well as the raiders. You'd much rather deal with the local fauna. And you do come across a couple of rawkas at the river, and a pack of gorgers when heading further up the Southern Reach. But you two make quick work of them.

In fact, Cal has grown stronger, and not only that, but he also has a new array of weapons it seems; now he double-wields his lightsabers, and he also has a blaster, which completely takes you by surprise.

Once you reach the base of the big silo, you get off your nekkos and climb the rest by foot, getting on top of the structure and sitting at the edge. It's not a super well-hidden spot; if the patrols under you decide to look up they would definitely see you, but it's a good vantage point to show Cal the different places. You point towards the landmarks, explaining them to him so he can orient himself and navigate beyond the outpost. You tell him about the caverns, the mines, to look out for different patrols and what areas to avoid; be it because of the raiders, like fort Kha'lin, or because of bigger fauna like bilemaws, goroccos and mogus. Especially mogus. They are fierce.

Once you're done with your explanation, you lean back onto your hands with a sigh. Cal attentively listened to everything, but he doesn't seem interested in keeping the conversation going, as he hasn't said anything.

He's looking out, scanning this corner of Koboh as far as he could see from here, taking in the view and probably trying to commit to memory everything you've said. You look at him from the corner of your eyes, your gaze falling onto the holster on his hip.

“So,” you try starting the conversation again. “You now double-wield and you have a blaster. Which, by the way, is pretty uncharacteristic for a Jedi, no?”

“A lot has changed, I guess,” is all you get out of him.

“Do you have any other new tricks?” you ask, and the memory of him re-discovering his Master's lessons after his escape from Bracca comes back to you, making you smile fondly to yourself for a moment.

“Hmm,” Cal thinks aloud, also leaning back and finally tearing his eyes from the landscape to look at you. “There aren't any new Force-tricks, if that's what you mean. But I do have this.”

He brings one of his arms up, showing you the contraption on his brace.

“Grappling hook. Comes in pretty handy,” he explains, showing you some of the mechanisms. Your hands reach up to gently hold his wrist, so you can inspect the device better, and you could have sworn you heard his breath hitch at the contact. At that moment, you realise that's the first physical interaction you've had since he arrived, and you quickly let go.

“We should head back,” you say as you stand up, dusting off your legs. “It will get dark soon, plus you must be hungry. I know I am.”

“Yeah, I could eat,” Cal replies, getting up to his feet as well, and BD beeps in agreement.

Cal climbs down the silo first, while you scan the area one last time for any patrols. When it's your turn, just as you're almost at the base of the rather unstable ladder, your foot slips and you lose your balance. You hold onto the next best thing, which happens to be Cal. Seeing you're about to fall, his arm reaches around you and he pulls you towards him while with the other hand he tightly holds onto the railing that goes along the walls of the structure.

“You okay?” he asks, and when you look up at him this time, you're finally met with a pair of eyes that you recognise. There's concern in his gaze but also a certain warmth, amused at how you were a fierce warrior yet managed to be clumsy in small things like these. He found it cute, which you knew for a fact because he would tell you often, back then…

“Y-Yeah, thanks,” you mutter, separating yourself from him now that you're back safe on the ground. Feeling the heat spreading on your face, you can't help a sheepish smile. “Guess some things never change, heh.”

“Guess not,” Cal says with a small smile of his own, and your chest tightens at the sight.

The ride back to the Outpost is silent, and you wonder if his body is also reacting as strongly as yours; ever since slipping, your skin feels like it's tingling, and your heart hasn't calmed down in the slightest.

Once you're back at the stable and the nekkos have been taken care of, Connor mentions that Greez left some food for you, and hands you several small containers wrapped with a cloth.

“You wanna eat at my place?” you find yourself asking Cal, who's scratching behind the nekko's ear. He turns around to you with raised eyebrows in what you assume to be a surprised expression, but he's quick to relax his face back to normal.

“I have a room behind Doma's shop,” you explain, holding up the food in your hands and you gesture to it with your chin. “And Greez knows this is far too much food for myself.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Cal replies, calling BD back to him, who was scanning some stable equipment. “Let me help you with that.”

Cal takes the food off your hands, and you say your goodbyes to Connor, who stays at the stable. It's a quick trip past the saloon's entrance into Doma's shop. She's behind the counter organising some of her merchandise, and returns your “hello” from afar without looking. Only when she hears Cal's greeting does she turn around. She shoots you a look and you know exactly what she means, heat prickling again at your cheeks. You give a curt shake of your head, quickening the pace to evade Doma's questioning, heading for the door at the back that leads to the place you have been calling home for the last year.

It isn't much, but it makes do: one big room, that's both kitchen and a living space, with two doors at the far side that lead to a small bedroom and the refresher. The main room is decorated, you like to think it's warm, cosy and inviting. You even managed to thrift an old couch somewhere, refurbished it yourself, and it now essentially serves as the centrepiece of the room. There are several rugs on the floor, as well as piles of pelts and leather in the corner that you still have to finish working on so you could sell them. These days that's your main source of income.

Cal stands at the door for a moment, taking everything in, and you suddenly feel very self-conscious. The space is clean, but the fact that you can't read his face makes you a little nervous. To distract yourself, you take the food from him, bringing it to the kitchen counter.

“I think the food is still warm,” you say as you start opening the containers, the delicious smell filling both your noses. “Do you mind setting the table?”

Cal and you make quick work of getting everything plated and grabbing some drinks, then sitting down in front of each other at the wooden table to eat. You make some light conversation between bites, catching each other up on what has been going on in your lives recently. He tells you about some of the missions he's been on ever since the Mantis crew split up, and you tell him of your own solo adventures before you came to Koboh.

When the plates are empty, your bellies full, and the conversation is about to die down, you ask if you can check out Cal's lightsabre. He unclips it from his belt to hand it to you, and you catch yourself being relieved at the fact he still trusts you enough to just give his sacred weapon to you without further inquiry.

He's changed some parts and the materials, and you hold the device in your hands with the utmost care, admiring the beautiful design and intricate markings on the wooden accents. Rather suddenly, a feeling of regret and shame spreads out in your chest, thinking about how not only this sabre but also Cal himself went through so many changes, and you hadn't been there for any of it. There's so much you want to tell him, about how sad you are that you weren't there for him, about how sorry you are with the way you left, about how you've been thinking of and missing him every single day. But telling him that wouldn't be fair. You have no right to be selfish like that.

“So what exactly happened that got the Mantis in such a state?” you decide to ask instead, reaching the lightsabre over the table to give it back. Cal takes it with a deep sigh, putting it back to his belt, feeling immediately comforted by its familiar weight.

“A job on Coruscant that went… wrong,” he starts, telling you how his team was gathering intel for Saw Guerrera, and it had all worked out until the very last moment, where everything went wrong, and he lost his whole crew in an instant. Only him and another person made it out of there. In fact, one of his crew members saved his life by pushing him out of the way and taking the blaster shot herself instead.

You listen intently, and your heart grows heavier by the second; you can hear the frustration in his voice, the voice of a man who's this close to giving up entirely, because he's just so tired, but he can't. He won't. You know Cal took it upon himself to fight the Empire by himself if he has to. A trait you genuinely admire but also despise. After all, that was one of the reasons you left.

Then he mentions the Ninth Sister, and your attention is fully back to what he's saying.

“I tried to get through to her, I really did,” Cal says, his voice cracking for a second. “But she wouldn't let up. I had no choice.”

“Did you…?” you ask carefully.

“I killed her,” he says matter-of-factly, but you can tell it's been eating away at him.

“I'm so sorry, Cal,” you offer, reaching across the table and placing your hand on his. “That couldn't have been easy. I'm sorry you had to go through that.”

He doesn't meet your eyes, his gaze fixed on his half empty cup instead, watching the drops of condensation slowly fall along the outside of the glass onto the table, staining the wood. But he doesn't pull away either, so you give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“You look exhausted,” you finally tell him, and he lets out a breath through his nose, as if saying 'you have no idea'. You offer for him to take a shower here instead of at the saloon before heading back, telling him yours is nicer, to which he chuckles lightly, and he accepts.

He insists you take a shower first while he takes care of the dishes, so you do just that. Once you're out, it's his turn. You hand him a towel and a change of clean clothes, and you can tell he wonders why you have them in his size, until he realises that they're actually his. It's an old shirt and lounge pants that you would always steal from him and had apparently taken with you. He doesn't comment on it though, instead he simply stares at the clothes in his hand for maybe a second too long, deep in thought. Then he blinks a couple of times, as if he just came back from zoning out, gives you a short 'thanks' and gets into the shower.

While he cleans up, you take a seat on the couch, pulling up the novel you're currently reading on your holopad. Only now that you're sitting with your legs stretched out along the length of the cushions do you realise how tired you are, both physically and emotionally. Out of everything you could have thought would happen today, meeting Cal was certainly not on the list. Still, you can't deny that you're happy to see him. For starters, he's still alive. And you've missed him, much more than you care to admit to yourself.

After reading the same sentence of your book over and over, failing to focus, you sigh and look at BD instead, who hops onto the coffee table and tilts his head at you with an inquiring beep.

“Has he been taking care of himself?” you ask the droid, pointing over your shoulder in the direction of the refresher, where you can hear the water running.

BD lets out a sequence of beeps and boops, and you narrow your eyes at him for a moment. 'He keeps himself busy' he said. Is he dodging your question?

“Is that so,” you reply with a hum, and BD shoots the question right back at you. You're a bit surprised at his concern, and for a moment you consider opening up to the little droid, but you hear the water turn off, so you bring your attention back to your book again instead, trying your darndest to focus on what's happening in the story. The washroom door opens with a whoosh.

“Where should I put the towel?” Cal asks, still standing at the door frame.

“Just put it in the hamper underneath the sink,” you reply over your shoulder, and in the corner of your eye you can see BD still looking at you, waiting for an answer. Then he tilts his head with an amused boop; he's got you all figured out.

“Oh shush you,” you start scolding the little droid, but Cal appears, walking around the couch to sit down. Except that your legs are stretched across it, so you start lifting them off the cushions and intend to bend them at the knee to sit properly, but Cal gently grabs your ankles, lifting them off the couch to sit down, and places them over his lap instead. His hand comes to rest on your shin, and you can feel the warmth he irradiates seep through the fabric of your pants.

“You looked comfy,” he points out, his hand gently rubbing up and down below your knee, while with his other hand he props up his head against the back of the couch.

You swallow hard, unable to answer, and bring the datapad up to your face to hide behind it. Why is he being so nice suddenly? Is it because you aren't outside where others could see? Or is it because he realised he still has you wrapped around his finger so he's just teasing you? You're beyond confused at the sudden sign of affection after he's been so distant the whole day, like he hadn't planned on ever seeing you again. And to be quite honest, you deserve the cold treatment. After what you did, the way you left.

Feeling the sting behind your eyes, knowing what's coming, you shrink further into yourself, holding the holopad even closer to your face to hide it from Cal's view. He can't see your expression from where he's sitting, so he gives a light chuckle, thinking you're just flustered. The sound feels like a dagger in your gut, and you unsuccessfully choke back sob.

Now Cal's face changes completely to one of concern, and he pushes the pad out of the way only to be met with your crying face.

“Whoa, wait-“ Cal says, and he retrieves his hands, holding them both up in surrender. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I thought we-“

“I'm so sorry, Cal,” you croak, crying freely now, as you let go of the device and it falls onto the floor with a 'clunk'. “I'm so sorry for everything, for what I did. For leaving you alone.” Your hands wipe away at your cheeks in a vain attempt to dry off the tears, but they just keep coming.

After the crew split up, the Mantis felt unbearably empty. After the failed mission on Hosnian Prime, after saying goodbye to Fret and Irei, who had definitely changed the dynamics of the crew (you still weren't sure if it had been for better or worse), everything felt like it started falling apart.

The first to leave was Merrin, saying she needed to recentre her fire and find herself again, to be able to draw all the power she now knew she was able to use.

Then, it was Cere and Greez. The Latero trusted Cal and left his beloved ship in his hands, telling him to look after it until he'd be back. Except everyone knew that he didn't really intend to. The loss of his arm had hit him harder than he wanted to admit, and for Greez it had been the wake-up call needed to “leave the game while you can because it's been rigged since the start”, as he would often say. Cere on the other hand took off with new-found determination. Her and Cal's goals weren't all that different: the endgame was to defeat the Empire, one way or another. However, Cal believed in taking action now, while Cere had her sights set on the future, being able to help those who would come next, long after she and everyone else were gone. She wanted to build a legacy, as the 'Jedi's knowledge was far too valuable to be lost to time and circumstance.

After everyone was gone, it was just Cal, BD and you.

The Jedi had become irritable, like he had already convinced himself that you would leave him soon too, as did everyone, apparently. You reassured him to the best of your abilities that you believed in what he stood for and wanted to stay by his side. However, now that you didn't have a whole crew to count on, you had to be more careful than ever.

“We have to be smart about this!” you'd plead, seeing Cal running head-first into danger time and time again.

When the nightmares became too much, you'd hold him tightly, kissing his tears away as he'd cry out for his master, Tapal.

“You were just a kid!” you had yelled at Cal one time, when what was supposed to be a quick run-down of the plan had become a big argument. “You act as if the whole universe is counting on you and only you to defeat the beast that is the Empire. Do you think that that's your destiny? As dictated by the Force? We've had our share of big, successful missions as a group. Now it's time to back down, Cal. We're just two people, what do you expect we'll achieve here? It's time to move on.”

Needless to say, those words had not calmed Cal down in the slightest. Now he felt just as betrayed by you as he did by the rest. More words were thrown at each other like daggers finally let free after being pushed back for far too long in an attempt to keep some level of normalcy between you two. But there was no going back. So you did what you told him as well: you moved on. That same evening, you packed your things and left.

Your heart bled and tears kept streaking down your face with every heavy step you took away from the Mantis, but at the time, you didn't know what else to do. You'd never wanted to leave Cal, and you hated yourself for doing this to him and to yourself, but what you had going on was no way to live anymore. Maybe, hopefully, now that you were gone, he would understand that.

You know it had been a horrible thing to do, especially like that. After years of telling him how you'd follow him to the end of the world. After telling him every day how much you loved him. After promising you'd be there for him. The worst part was that being away from him was far more painful than it was with him. He left a void in your heart that only he could fill. You meant to go looking for him many times, but were too scared. You didn't deserve to have him back. Not after what you did.

But now he's here.

Between cries, you apologise over and over again, saying how what you did wasn't fair, that you wished you had never left and worked it out instead, that you missed him so much it was hard to breathe.

Cal doesn't answer immediately, and you force your somewhat blurry gaze up to meet his eyes, and you see he's starting to tear up himself. He leans forward, lifting you up and settling you sideways onto his lap, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. You hold him just as tightly, crying into his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” The more you say it, the emptier it feels, but it's all you can manage for now, and you mean it. “I really am.”

“I know,” Cal says, squeezing you a little tighter. “I felt it. When you gave me the clothes earlier.”

You remember the countless nights you've cried yourself to sleep in the very clothes he's now wearing, the times when you missed him so much you felt like your heart would rip its way right out of your chest, muttering your regrets into your pillow, as if it could carry your apology and bring it to Cal somehow. You groan in embarrassment; you always forget that your stuff also carries imprints he can feel.

“I'm so lame,” you mumble and pull back to look at Cal, giving him a weak smile that quickly turns into a grimace again as a new wave of tears come rolling down your cheeks.

“No, you're not,” Cal reassures you, one hand cupping your face and wiping over your cheekbone with his thumb. You lean into his touch with a sniffle.

“I've missed you too,” he finally says, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “And I'm sorry—” He kisses your cheek. “—for making you feel like you were less important than the missions.” A kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I took you for granted.” His lips brush over yours. “Can we try again?”

You close the minimal gap and kiss him hard, like Cal was the air your lungs needed after being underwater for too long. He reciprocates just as intensely, pushing you down onto the couch and climbing on top of you. When he finally breaks the kiss, you're both panting. You run your fingers through his hair as he trails kisses along your jaw, and you giggle at how ticklish his beard feels against your skin; that's a new sensation you'd have to – no scratch that, want to – get used to. Your giggles turn into a low moan as he bites the spot over your collarbone, and when you turn your head to give him better access, you're met with BD still on the coffee table, now sitting comfortably, looking up at you two as if it was the most interesting spectacle in the world.

A strangled sound of surprise and embarrassment comes from your throat and you push Cal away a bit by his shoulders, to which he raises his head and grumbles in annoyance for interrupting him.

“We have an audience,” you whine, hiding your face behind your hands, and Cal lets out an amused laugh. BD beeps matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean 'don't mind me'?!” You turn to the droid and you swear that if he had a face, he'd be wearing the cockiest of grins right now.

“Some things really never change, huh,” Cal comments with an amused smile, thinking back to all the times you'd become flustered when you kissed in front of BD, saying it was inappropriate or something. If only you knew that Cal often did it on purpose because he loved seeing your cute, flustered face.

“Unlike this right here,” you point out and bring your hands to his face, stroking over his beard, enjoying the prickly sensation. “This is new.”

“Do you like it?” Cal asks genuinely.

“You know I like your scars,” you say, tracing over the one on his lower lip. “As long as they're not covered up, I think I can get used to it. It does look good on you.”

Cal smiles down at you tenderly and for a few moments, you simply enjoy each other's presence, taking each other in. Making sure that this is real and it's happening, that you're back again. Until you let out a hearty yawn.

“Let's get to bed before we fall asleep on the couch,” you say, rubbing your face, but stop to look up at Cal, who seems very content with his current position and hasn't moved yet. “You are staying here tonight, right? I mean, if you want to, you don't have to. Greez has the whole room thing for you, so I understand if—“

Cal interrupts your rambling with a quick peck.

“Yeah, I want to stay,” he assures you and finally stands up, helping you get off the couch.

“Let's go, BD,” you tell the droid to join you as you take Cal's hand and guide them to the bedroom.

You climb into bed, BD at your feet as he would always do on the Mantis, and Cal lifts the covers to get in as well but stops for a moment when he sees the holopicture on your night stand. In the small frame he recognises Greez, Cere, Merrin, Cal, BD and you in the cockpit, all grinning at the camera. Smiling to himself, he finally gets into bed, hugging you to him.

“I have the same picture of us on the Mantis,” he says after letting out a content sigh at finding a comfortable position. “Guess we still were connected somehow all this time.”

You hum in response, a bit surprised at the romantic implication, as if you were lovers who found comfort in looking at the same moon even though you were separated. But you like the idea nonetheless, and you agree.

The warmth both on your skin and spreading in your heart makes quick work of carrying you off to dreamland though, so before you can even give a proper reply, you're fast asleep in Cal's arms.

— — —

The next morning, you wake up to BD's beeping. You groan, turning over to cuddle a little longer, except that the other side of your bed is empty. You blink away the sleepiness in your eyes, and pout at the lack of Jedi in your sheets. Your nose is quick to pick up the scent of freshly brewed caf however, and the grogginess is quickly forgotten as you get out of bed and make your way to the kitchen, where Cal is preparing breakfast.

After a quick meal and lots of stolen kisses, Cal announces it's time to go check out Greez's smuggler tunnel to find that gyro.

“Be careful,” is the last thing you tell him before he leaves.

“Always,” he shoots back at you with a wink and takes off. You playfully roll your eyes at that, thinking back to the countless times on the Mantis you've had to patch him up after a mission inevitably went astray from the original plan.

While Cal is looking for parts for the Mantis, you go back to your own things, checking in on Connor and the nekkos at the stable, as well as preparing some pelts and sewing up your most recent leather project.

Time goes by fast as you skilfully work the needle and thread through the thick material, finishing the piece after a couple of hours. Setting it aside, you stretch your arms and back with a satisfied grunt. You check to see if your comms are working; they are, but there's no new messages. Strange, you think, Cal sure is taking his time to find that gyro. Is he not back yet?

Suddenly feeling uneasy by your own thoughts of how he might have got lost in the tunnels, or how he may have encountered trouble down there, you decide to go check with Greez yourself.

You quickly make your way to the Saloon, going down the stairs that lead to the bar with such speed that when you reach the end and see someone standing there, you bump into them before you can stop yourself.

“Whoa,” a deep voice exclaims at the impact, and you push yourself away from the man's back you just ran into. He turns around slightly towards you. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, didn't see you there” you reply, regaining your composure and walking around him to get a better look.

He's not super tall, but he has a strong and broad build. Although you already felt that when you bumped into him and it was like walking into a wall. You give him a quick up-and-down, trying to gauge if he's friend or foe, but you can't quite read him. He narrows his eyes at you ever so slightly, probably doing the same.

“A new face, how rare,” you start, walking over to the bar and leaning on it with one arm. Your other hand finds its way to your hip, where you realise there is no holster or weapon; you mentally reprimand yourself for leaving your staff at the stable.

“Care for a drink?” asks Monk from behind you.

“No, I'm looking for someone,” the man says.

“Of course you are,” Monk replies with sarcasm. You give the bartender droid a nod; you'll take care of this. As he wheels back into the kitchen, you hear him mutter something about how his bar isn't a lost and found counter. Before the stranger can go on however, the doors at the back of the saloon whoosh open.

“Who's this?” asks Greez as he enters the main room.

“I was just about to ask him,” you reply, your eyes still trained on the man.

“I'm looking for Cal Kestis,” the man in question says instead, and your hand on the bar involuntarily curls into a fist.

“Who? Kal Restis?” Greez asks as he approaches him. “We don't know any Kales. Listen, if you're not gonna order something, get out of my saloon.”

“No, not Kale”, the man says, getting slightly exasperated as he repeats the name slower, and Greez keeps getting it wrong on purpose.

Just as you're about to intervene and send the man away, the entrance doors open and in comes Cal, a soft smile of self-satisfaction on his face.

“Cal!” The man greets the Jedi. You hear Greez mutter “Oh, this Cal Kestis” under his breath as they clearly recognise each other.

“I found the gyro,” Cal announces first, throwing a small mechanical part to Greez, who's taken by surprise but still catches it. Then he turns to the intruder with a smile. “You made it!”

“Good to see you, Cal,” he replies, and the two share a friendly handshake.

“Greez Dritus, this is Bode Akuna,” Call starts introductions, telling this Bode your name as well. You merely give him a short nod in acknowledgment as Cal continues. “He was on Coruscant. Wouldn't have made it out alive without his help.”

Oh, that changes things.

You leave your spot at the bar and drop your rather cold gaze to join the group. Coming to stand next to Cal, you take his hand, and try your best to give Bode a thankful smile. He returns it, quickly catching on.

“Wait a minute. Another one?” Greez quips, looking behind Cal. You were so focused on Bode, that you hadn't even noticed the strange looking droid that came in with the redhead. “Cal, you have a very bad habit of picking up strays.”

“I am ZN-A4,” the droid introduces herself with an exaggerated bow. The design and material she’s made of is something you’ve never seen before. “Humble servant of the Jedi Order.”

What.

“Oh, I take it you haven't broken the news yet,” Bode says to Cal, who sheepishly shrugs his shoulders.

Cal then brings everyone up to speed, telling you how when he was in the tunnels with BD, they stumbled upon this old chamber where the droid was stuck, so they freed her. Turns out she's a droid that belonged to a Jedi from the High Republic, of all things. Her master, Sandari, had sent her to activate the so-called forest array (that strange building the other side of the river that doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the scenery; you've always wondered what it was but never found a way to get in). However, Zee, as everyone started calling the droid, is in really bad shape, and she'll never make it that far. She looks dejected as she says that if she fails her mission, then the key to Tanalorr may be lost forever.

At the mention of the name, Greez chimes in, telling the group that there's an old prospector legend about Tanalorr being a world filled with treasure. But treasure or not, the important part is that it seems to be a real place, one potentially beyond where the Empire can reach: a safe haven.

Zee is delighted and very thankful that everyone seems on board with her mission, and the group is quick to formulate a plan: while Monk gets her up to speed regarding the state of, well, everything, and she gets some much-needed repairs, Bode and Greez will take care of the Mantis. Meanwhile, Cal, BD and you will go to the forest array to check it out.

As you're making your way to the stables, you nudge into Cal's side with your elbow.

“You didn't get hurt down there or anything, right? You sure took your time,” you ask him. It did not go unnoticed by you how in Cal's retelling of events, he skilfully left out how he happened to find that mysterious chamber in the first place.

“The tunnels were pretty old and unstable, but we're okay,” Cal deflects, shooting the droid a quick look. “Right BD?”

BD beeps in response, and you shoot Cal a glare accompanied by a muted gasp, stopping in your tracks.

“You fell through a hole the equivalent of several stories?!” You can't believe this guy.

“It's fine!” Cal tries to reassure you, bringing his hands up to your shoulders. “I promise, it's nothing a stim didn't already fix. So there’s no need to worry, okay? We have a job to do.”

You sigh in defeat as he places a soft kiss on your forehead. You first cup his face softly, then pinch both his cheeks.

“Just what am I going to do with you, Cal Kestis?” you ask rhetorically, taking his hand into yours and resuming the short trek to where Connor is already waiting and waving at you both.

Once you're all geared up and hop into the saddle, you tighten the strap of your staff, adjusting its position on your back.

“Just like old times, huh?” you ask at no one in particular, scanning your surroundings and taking in the scenery; it just never gets old. Cal's nekko trots up next to you.

“Just like old times,” he repeats, with that boyish smile you can't get enough of, and the glint of adventure in his eyes.

Your nekkos take off, and the freckles on his face seem to shine in the sunlight. They form the ever familiar star map that you'd follow time and time again, finding your way back to him. Because from the first time you looked at him, you knew: you'd follow this man across the galaxy and beyond.

— — —

A/N 2: if you understand the droid name reference you get a cookie 🍪

A/N 3: in the book Battle Scars there’s a part where BD tells Cal, and i quote, “Where you go, I go”, and when i tell you that i screamed omg (the first part of my “wherever you go, i go” fic was actually called ‘where’ but i changed it to ‘wherever’ when i added more chapters because to me it sounded better asdsdf) BD-1 and me sharing one brain cell obsessed with Cal fr😌

~~~~~

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#goose feathers #cal kestis x reader #star wars cal x reader #jedi fallen order x reader #jedi survivor x reader #star wars x reader

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