#maybe it’s soulmateism maybe it’s maybelline

[heretherebedork]

Okay, I went back to episode one to try and figure out more about this disorder and what it means and when it develops. I did not get much help, honestly. But I am still trying to figure this out.

Because the biggest question I have is when does this disorder typically start? Is this something that just happens randomly and at any time? Is it something you're born with? Maybe it's Maybelline? Because we need that info for what's going on with Lomfon.

Although honestly rewatching this at this point in the show... this is screaming 'metaphor for being visibly queer and homophobia' and it's only become more obvious in retrospect. Because so much of this is about the idea that the disorder can be good or bad depending on your point of view and how people seeing others with this disorder will make assumptions about them and who they love and honestly it's really interesting in that regard, especially with Patts being pan and/or bi while Tai feels much like a gay man (Patts sought a relationship outside of the disorder while Tai never did, waiting despite his own loss of faith in the idea and isn't that just fascinating when you consider the ideas of love and loss and fear of coming out but also fear of losing love to society and just the layers are all there.)

Also, this is fascinating when you consider how private the rainverse seems but whether or not it is... well, that's a big question the show is asking now, isn't it?

The isolation of it all, the idea that this silence even when people are around you puts you completely in a different place than everyone else despite seeing around him how many people are deeply connected despite their rain deafness. Honestly, the main isolation we see during these times are either because the people around them forget they're deaf or because they choose that isolation (Patts staring at Tai out of the car window, Tai locking himself in his room after his parents break up) but we also see the very loving date of the non-soulmates who aren't isolated or struggling at all even as the rest of the world judges them and again the queer vibes of it all.

TAI. TAI. Don't just say that I need more answers, damnit. GIVE ME ALL THE DETAILS PLEASE. When does it develop? How? Is it something you're born with, is it contagious, is it just something that randomly happens? What is it?!

Again. The queer vibes. The metaphor. The very real face of queerness in the face of a homophobic society no matter how queer people represent themselves.

(The straight couple that aren't soulmates in the restaurant, the assumptions of the workers that he had to have a soulmate even though we later find out that only a fraction of people with hearing loss have one... the assumptions that because he has one visible difference that lends itself to a conclusion that their conclusion is correct. Dying.)

I feel like this implies that the disorder typically starts before twenty and the beginning of hearing their soulmate happens at 20 but Lomfon was obviously able to hear Tien in the rain right before he started hearing their voices. What does it all mean, damnit? He's had a crush on Tai this whole time so it isn't about queer realization and it's not the first time he's been with Tai and Patts in the rain (remember when he told Tai he didn't believe in soulmates? The was in the rain and he definitely didn't hear them both in that moment... or at least I assume he didn't from how they showed the scene in the last episode) so what is going on!!!

It's so fascinating because it really is a great metaphor for queerness, particularly the visible type, and honestly the break up between Patts and Nara when faced through the lens of how so many people approach bi/pansexuality as a whole but Lomfon is just the wrench in everything. Is he polyamory? Is he about falling in love with the wrong person or at the wrong time? Is he about how realizations and choices can be contagious? I don't know!

Anyway.

... I dunno, I love this show and I am fascinated by trying to figure this out but I am most heartbroken thinking about how Tien is now the only one in this group without a soulmate based in the idea of destiny when he's the one who believes in the idea the most and has never doubted the Tai's soulmate would be the love of his life despite watching his parents divorce despite being soulmates and I just... I just want him to be happy, okay?

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

I know it's 2022 and perhaps some mysteries of the world would be best left unsolved but like...

THIS MOTHERFUCKING PICTURE?!?!

The uncanniness of this, like, HOW CAN THIS MAN BE MIRRORING THE FACE OF A MAN THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE HIM DOWN TO FUCKING BONE STRUCTURE I---

Can you tell it still haunts me at night?!? CAUSE IT FUCKING DOES!!! And I have no logical answers, only this:

1- Shapeshifting

2- The devil

3- Witchcraft

4- Soulmate shit

5- Fucking Illuminati clones or whatever the fuck the theory on replacing celebrities was

6- God (???)

7- Collective histeria (a.k.a this picture never happened, it's an hallucination)

Maybe one day I'll know, maybe I'll go insane in the process, maybe it's Maybelline...

For now? Sleep sounds like a good idea, ngl.

[tiedisms]

          ◟ *  hello  and  welcome  to  tiedisms  :  my  brand  new  baby  ,  which  will  hopefully  help  you  out  when  you’re  plotting  ,  putting  together  a  connections  page  for  ur  muse  ,  etc  !  while  i’ll  mostly  be  reblogging  gifsets  &  other  inspo  -  posts  ,  i  wanted  to  kick  things  off  with  a  connection  masterlist  ---------  under  the  cut  you’ll  find  some  possible  connections  +  some  promts  to  get  you  going  ,  as  well  as  examples  of  specific  connections  i’ve  written  for  my  wanted  pages  .  i’d  appreciate  any  likes  and  reblogs  if  you  find  this  helpful  at  all  !!  

◟ *   platonic  .  

childhood  friends  :  did  they  grow  up  on  the  same  street  ?  perhaps  they  could  look  into  each  other’s  rooms  through  their  windows  ?  muse  a  knows  how  muse  b  got  that  awful  scar  above  their  knee  &  muse  b  knows  the  details  of  muse  a’s  first  kiss  .  people  who’ve  known  each  other  their  entire  lives  often  work  in  synch  ,  tend  to  think  they  know  what’s  best  for  the  other  ,  too  .  have  they  managed  to  stay  friends  through  the  years  ?  did  they  grow  apart  after  high  school  or  maybe  get  into  a  huge  fight  ?  so  many  possibilies  !

this  said  ,  friends  who’ve  grown  apart  :  losing  a  friend  can  cause  just  as  much  heartache  as  a  break  up  !  did  life  get  in  the  way  or  did  something  cause  a  strain  on  the  relationship  ?  did  one  person  have  to  exit  the  situation  because  the  friendship  was  becoming  more  and  more  toxic  ?  have  they  been  asking  mutual  friends  about  the  other  or  did  they  cut  ties  entirely  ?  

roommates  .  did  they  want  to  move  in  together  or  did  they  respond  to  the  same  craigslist  add  ?  did  they  move  in  at  the  same  time  or  did  one  of  them  come  around  later  ,  new  girl  style  ?  do  they  get  along  or  do  they  butt  heads  at  every  corner  ?  who  cooks  and  who  does  the  dishes  ?  who’s  always  way  too  loud  and  who  complains  about  the  noise  ?

best  friend’s  sibling  /  sibling’s  best  friend  .  extended  family  of  sorts  ,  have  always  remained  at  the  sidelines  of  each  other’s  lives  .  do  they  seem  to  take  on  sibling  roles  around  one  another  ,  too  ?  or  are  they  pretending  to  get  along  for  their  friend’s  sake  ? 

shared  ex  .  listen  to  fiona  apple’s  ‘  newspaper  ‘  !  you  can  read  this  plot  ,  as  i’ve  written  it  for  my  own  connections  page  ,  down  below  .

good  /  bad  influence  .  people’s  lifestyles  rub  off  on  each  other  !  is  one  actively  trying  to  change  the  other  or  is  it  simply  a  side  -  effect  of  them  spending  so  much  time  together  ?  does  the  bad  influence  ever  feel  wrong  for  taking  the  other  down  a  dark  path  ?  does  the  good  influence  ever  worry  the  other  is  far  beyond  saving  ?

◟ *   romantic  .

friends  to  lovers  :  perhaps  my  favorite  trope  of  all  time  !  look  back  at  that  childhood  friends  connection  &  now  add  years  of  unspoken  feelings  .  how  long  have  they  been  in  love  with  each  other  ?  who  fell  in  love  first  ?  are  they  even  aware  of  their  feelings  ?  growing  in  love  instead  of  falling  !  what  would  their  families  and  other  friends  think  ?  are  there  already  rumors  and  jokes  about  them  being  together  ?  is  one  of  them  currently  in  a  relationship  or  getting over  an  ex  ?  do  they  find  it  hard  to  commit  to  other  people  ,  unaware  that  they’re  always  going  to  put  each  other  first  ?  //   alternatively  :  friends  to  lovers  but  after  it’s  crashed  and  burned  ,  hate  each  other  for  how  things  ended  between  them  ,  but  still  feel  so  much  love  for  each  other  because  they  were  always  friends  first  .

casual  exes  :  the  type  that  ended  on  good  terms  ,  are  maybe  still  friends  ,  too  .  why  did  they  break  up  and  how  did  they  manage  to  do  so  amicably  ?  i  heard  somewhere  that  if  you’re  still  friends  after  a  break  up  u  either  never  were  in  love  or  are  still  in  love  ---  is  that  the  case  for  them  ?  do  they  find  it  easy  to  laugh  about  their  time  together  or  is  there  still  some  awkwardness  there  ?

unrequited  crush  .  let  your  muses  have  innocent  crushes  !  we  all  fall  in  love  with  the  idea  of  a  person  sometimes  .  does  the  person  they  have  a  crush  on  use  that  to  boost  their  ego  ?  or  are  they  constantly  trying  to  distance  themselves  ?  does  your  muse  want  to  make  a  move  or  are  they  content  admiring  from  afar  ?  what  do  they  like  about  this  person  ?

sexual  tension  .  the  air  is  heavy  between  them  &  there’s  clearly  something  there  that  they  haven’t  acted  upon  yet  .  why  ?  is  it  because  they  want  to  be  mindful  of  other  people  ?  because  they  don’t  like  each  other  much  ?  because  they’re  good  friends  and  don’t  want  to  ruin  that  ?  have  they  acted  upon  their  feelings  before  but  promised  to  never  do  that  again  ?

◟ *   examples  .

*  you  don't  ever  have  to  be  stronger  than  you  really  are  . ———  in  which  .  .  .  whenever  tears  pool  in  the  corners  of  doe  eyes  ,  the  other  is  there  to  stop  them  from  flooding  the  room  .  the  purest  love  x's  ever  known  ,  a  guardian  angel  ,  a  hand  to  hold  when  things  get  tough  .

* we  were  cursed  the  moment  that  he  kissed  us  . ———  in which  .  .  .  a  shared  love  for  someone  who  can't  show  affection  kindly  brought  the  two  closer  than  anything  else  ever  could  ,  the  overlapping  memories  of  a  past  lover  binding  them  forever  .

*  it's  a  bad  time  for  a  good  time  .  ———  in which  .  .  .  nothing  stings  like  rejection  does  ,  pride  often  stronger  than  unfulfilled  desires  .  now  ,  they  spit  venom  whenever  they  try  to  lure  them  back  underneath  their  sheets  .

*  pour  a  little  salt  ,  we  were  never  here  ———  in  which  .  .  .  love  lingers  just  underneath  the  surface  ,  heard  in  every  word  they  say  ,  but  never  confessed  .  doomed  from  the  start  ,  both  nearly  choke  when  calling  each  other  just  friends  .

*  you  can  count  on  me  to  misbehave ———  in  which  .  .  .  just  kids  playing  games  ,  felt  young  whenever  she  was  around  them  until  a  drunken  night  changed  the  way  they  saw  each  other  ,  newfound  tension  bringing  nothing  but  chaos  .

*  in  my  head  ,  i  do  everything  right  ———  in  which  .  .  .  heart  full  of  love  ,  but  hands  empty  ;  x  was  careless  with  their  feelings  ,  ran  away  the  first  time  they  had  a  fight  ,  fell  right  back  into  someone  else's  arms  .

*  fuck  and  make  up  like  it's  maybelline  , ———  in  which  .  .  .  tangled  up  in  each  other's  sheets  almost  every  day  ,  can  never  truly  say  goodbye  despite  their  constant  fights  ;  anger  fuels  lust  ,  the  roughness  of  it  all  only  makes  it  more  exciting  for  a  girl  dying  to  feel  anything  .

*  don't  blame  the  drunk  caller  , ———  in  which  .  .  .  late  nights  have  never  been  kind  to  x  &  there's  a  number  they  never  removed  from  their  speed  dial  .  both  swear  the  love  has  gone  cold  ,  but  x  still  calls  and  they  always  pick  up  .

*  baby  ,  i  was  born  tired  , ———  in  which  .  .  .  end  hard  days  tangled  in  each  other's  arms  on  the  couch  ,  smoke  filling  the  air  ,  no  pressure  in  a  safe  space  .  a  platonic  soulmate  ,  someone  to  cling  to  when  you  need  it  most  .

*  must  try  harder  than  kissing  all  of  my  friends  , ———  in  which  .  .  .  nothing  stings  like  rejection  when  you're  used  to  people  crawling  at  your  feet  ,  x  has  weaved  her  way  into  the  lives  and  beds  of  people  around  them  ,  as  if  to  prove  a  point  ,  begging  for  attention  .

[sunny1ace]

Fix You - Part 3.4 of the FamAU

Characters: Patton Hart, Janus Viper, Logan Viper

Summary: It’s almost like everyone except Patton wants him to tell Logan the truth

Words: 2087

Warnings: Sad feelings, anxiety, let me know if I should add more :)

A/N: Listen we all just needed some soft platonic Mociet

Taglist (let me know if I should add you or take you off): @espepspes, @kaileah-kat, @i-need-you-buddy

***

Patton is running out of time. 

On one hand, he has endless time. Even when they graduate, it doesn’t mean it’s the end. But on the other hand, who knows what will happen! Logan could move overseas or go to space!

(Admittedly, the second one isn’t very likely, but Patton has come to realize that with Logan, nothing is impossible.)

It doesn’t help at all that Dee has been giving him that look since he met up with him back in their dorm room after class. Maeve isn’t much better, but at least she’s mostly focused on painting Dee’s nails ten different colors. 

“Remind me again why Aldridge didn’t convince you?” Dee asks with a sigh.

“Stop moving!” Maeve protests. Dee sticks his tongue out at her.

Patton shrugs, pulling his blanket around him tighter. “I guess I know there’s a chance we’ll find each other again, but what about all the time we’ll miss spending together?”

“Patt,” Maeve says, not looking up from Dee’s fingers. “What’s so hard about saying you wanna bang him?”

“Maeve!”

“Stop moving!”

Dee huffs at her. “What Maeve would say if she had any sort of elegance-”

“Fuck you, for one.”

“-is that if you really care about him, tell him. Holding back will only hurt you.”

Patton makes a pouting face. “Worse than him not feeling the same way?”

“At least that way you’ll know.”

The room falls silent aside from Maeve’s out of tune humming and the occasional hiss from Dee whenever she gets nailpolish on his hands. Patton watches them, and part of him is jealous. He wants what they have. Complete trust and care and openness.

He could have it.

Patton bites his lip. “Okay.”

Maeve jumps at the sudden break in silence, “Dee don’t move!”

“I didn’t!” Dee glares at her, then looks up at Patton. “Are you sure?”

“Aw, kiddo, I’m always sure!”

“I’m not a child.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Just paint my nails, Maybelline,” Dee snarks back at Maeve. He raises his eyebrows at Patton. “I’m serious. I watched the two of you dance around each other for four years, and you’re just deciding this here, now?”

Patton shrugs. “No time like the present!”

Dee snorts, “Tell that to the you of the past.”

“If I could time travel, I’d make sure to let him now.”

It takes Dee a few seconds, and he blinks blankly. “Truly one of your best puns, darling.”

Patton smiles shyly, “Yeah, I’m nervous.”

Twisting the cap on her nailpolish kind of violently, Maeve flops down onto her back, sticking one foot out to poke Dee in the face with it. “I feel like I’m at a middle school sleepover. Just call him!”

Dee shoves Maeve’s foot away and tosses Patton his phone. Patton fumbles it, accidentally hitting it back at Dee, who looks very tired as the phone and Maeve’s foot hit his face. Patton grimaces, “Sorry! One more time.”

Tossing it slower, Dee ducks, only straightening when he’s sure Patton has the phone securely in both hands. “Good, now dial.”

“And say what? I can’t confess over the phone!”

Maeve sits up again, blowing her uneven bangs out of her face. “You’re having lunch with him, right?”

“Yep!”

“Ask him if you can tell him something important when you meet, that way you can’t chicken out.”

Patton tilts his head. “Hey… that’s pretty smart!”

“That’s because I’m pretty smart,” Maeve says, throwing a pillow at Dee when he makes an ‘eh’ noise.

Giggling, Patton shakes his head. His friends are pretty weird. With a deep breath he dials Logan’s number, holding his phone to his ear. It rings four times and Patton starts to think Logan won’t pick up when the line clicks.

“Patton, I was just about to call you.”

Patton is well aware of Dee and Maeve’s eyes on him as his face brightens. “Really? Well I guess I beat you to it!”

There’s something off in Logan’s voice when he says, “I suppose you did.”

Ignoring it, Patton fiddles with the blanket around him. “I wanted to ask you something, but you go ahead, okay?”

“Very well.” Logan clears his throat and Patton already knows it’s bad news. “I’m afraid I- well you see something came up and- Patton I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel lunch.”

Apparently the disappointment on his face is obvious, because Dee starts waving his hand with a question look, “What?”

“He has to cancel lunch,” Patton whispers.

Maeve makes a face. “Dick.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason!” Patton defends, still whispering. “I’ll just talk to him tomorrow.”

Dee shakes his head. “No, you won’t. I know you. Tell him now!”

Patton stares at him, one beat, two, then goes back to the phone. “That’s okay, Lo! Don’t worry about it!”

Both Maeve and Dee groan.

“Excellent, now what was your question?”

“Oh…” Patton goes back to whispering. “He wants to know what my question was.”

“Tell him!” Maeve and Dee whisper shout at the same time.

Patton gives them an apologetic look, raising his voice for Logan, “I was just wondering where you wanted to meet. That doesn’t really matter anymore though!”

Dee slaps his forehead, Maeve goes back to painting her toes.

Panic starts to settle in Patton’s chest, the same feeling he gets when he accidentally procrastinates on homework and only realizes the day it’s due. He’s pretty sure Logan says something else, but he can’t make it out over the rushing blood in his ears. “I’ll see you around!’

It’s only after he hangs up that he realizes he didn’t tell Logan how incredible he is, which is definitely something Logan would notice. So now Logan probably hates him.

Dee stands up and ruffles his hair, “Come on, sunshine. Maeve is going to meet her sister for lunch, you and I can grab something together.”

Forcing a smile, Patton nods. “Okie dokie!”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Pretend you’re fine.”

Patton shrugs, and then Maeve is hugging him. “Dee doesn’t know what physical affection is,” she says.

“Shut up,” Dee replies, but he smiles encouragingly at Patton and his hand stays on his head. 

Maeve huffs into his shoulder. “You’ll be okay, sweetheart. There’s always tomorrow.”

“Right.” Patton hugs her back. “Tomorrow will be better.”

“There you go.” Maeve pulls back and stands, and just like that her soft, caring behavior is gone. “Now I’m going to go eat the hottest wings that place downtown has!”

Dee’s eyes widen in alarm. “What!? You can barely handle normal hot sauce!”

“That’s what my sister said!” Maeve is already halfway out the door. “Time to prove her wrong!”

“Or go to the hospital!”

“Sounds like an adventure!” The door slams, Dee pinches his nose.

Patton smiles, “She still wants kids, right?”

“Yes. I’m terrified.”

“I’m excited.”

Dee snorts and passes Patton his cardigan, “Let’s get going, I want steak.”

“I bet you take it rare-”

“Oh god.”

“-like you!”

Rolling his eyes, Dee stuffs his hands in his pockets. “You’re a comedian, Patton.”

“I know that was sarcastic, but I’m going to take the compliment!”

Campus is busy, friends and couples rushing from place to place, to get food or to class, some are already going home. It tugs at Patton’s heart, that he won’t see these things anymore come next week. He glances at Dee, puffing up his cheeks. “So… you mad at me?”

“Never.”

Patton smiles, sticking his hands in his pockets and his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he tries to keep pace with Dee. Unlike Logan, he doesn’t slow down for him. “Hey Janus?”

“Uh oh.”

“What?”

“You only use my real name when it’s serious.”

“I do not!”

“Do too.” Dee throws an arm over Patton’s shoulders. “Come on, let it out.”

Patton huffs. “Do you think that if you really love someone, you’ll always find your way back to them?”

“No.”

“What- that fast?”

Dee shrugs. “I don’t think love is on the universes scales of who you happen to run into on the street. There’s no such thing as soulmates, Patton.”

“Then…” Patton wrinkles his eyebrows. “What do you call people who are in love, who want to spend the rest of their lives together?”

“Idiots.” At Patton’s affronted noise, Dee sighs. “Happy idiots.”

Stopping, Patton turns to frown up at Dee. A bicyclist passes them, and Patton can’t even force himself to smile and wave like he usually does. “So what happens if graduation comes, and I never tell Logan?”

“Most likely? You get a good job, you buy an apartment with a leaking sink, Maeve stops by at least once a week to annoy you, we have Sunday dinners that move to Friday’s after Maeve has a kid. We learn how to golf of all things, and that replaces the parties and “wild nights”. We get old, we retire, we die and I give my law firm to one of my godchildren, and we’re buried next to each other like the codependent bachelors we are.”

Patton giggles, “That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“No. It doesn’t.” Dee rolls his eyes and sets a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “But it would be so much better if you had Logan.”

“I know.”

“Then tell him.”

Right on cue, Patton’s phone plays the familiar “Up” theme. He takes it out of his pocket, staring at Logan’s contact. “I can’t tell him.”

“Darling-”

“I want that.” Patton puts his phone away and smiles at Dee, “I want the golf and leaky sink and annoying Maeve. I want to get old with you.”

“And without Logan?”

No. More than anything, no.

Patton smiles up at Dee, “Come on, Janus. Lunch is waiting.”

It’s not until Janus is walking ahead of him that he pulls out his phone to text Logan an apology. Maybe Dee is wrong. Maybe one day they will find each other. One day when Patton isn’t so scared.

The rest of the day is a blur. Patton puts so much effort into trying to keep up a happy facade that every minute blends into the last until he’s sitting in his dorm, and Janus sets a bottle of blue nail polish in front of him and says, “Tomorrow will only be better if you let it.”

Staring at the blue shade, Patton imagines a yellow one next to it, an orange next to that. He imagines his mom’s voice that he can barely remember past the few home videos in a box under his bed. 

Tomorrow will only be better if you let it.

Was that her mistake? Is that his?

“Patton.” Dee sits down on the edge of his bed, taking the nail polish and setting it gently in his palm. 

“I know.”

Dee nods, leaning forward to kiss Patton on his forehead. “You’re letting fear keep you from being happy.”

“I am happy!” Patton argues, and there’s weight behind it. He is happy. He loves Janus and Maeve and his dad and he’s so excited to get his degree-

“You’re not the happiest you can be.” Janus smiles, “Tell him, for our collective sanity.”

Patton’s phone dings. The roommates both lean over to see who would be texting at this hour, Patton half expects it to be Maeve, asking if they have any frozen burritos left. 

It’s not. It’s Logan.

Library? Only if you wish to.

“Should I say yes?”

Dee gives him a deadpan look. “No. You should turn down this perfectly timed opportunity because of campus curfew.”

“Oh..”

“Say yes!”

Patton jumps. “Oh!” he fires a text back, jumping up to shove on his shoes. He turns and looks at Dee. “Tomorrow will be better.”

“Because you’re going to let it be, you giant sap.” Janus throws Patton’s cardigan at his face and waves his arms at the door, “Go!”

Ten minutes after that, Logan is standing in front of him in the empty library, breathtaking and smart and tired and sad.

Patton tries to remember all the love stories he’d ever heard, a song lyric or a poem, any one of the things Janus had beautifully said about love over the years, some way to tell his best friend and love of his life how he feels.

At least forty forced smiles, the rollercoaster of a day, and the late hour make it so very, very hard.

He shuffles his feet and then sighs, he can do this. “Logan-”

“I’m in love with you,” Logan blurts.

Patton’s eyes widen.

The world stops.

[murphystartedthefire]

Hey, while we’re on the subject, I find zero (0) things funny or cringeworthy about the line “We found each other in a cage,” said by Echo to Bellamy while he’s having trouble speaking in full sentences because he’s so scared he’s never going to see her again.

I mean.. they did. They did find each other in a cage.

They literally met while experiencing some of the worst trauma of their lives, and she spit in his face and he told her he was gonna kill every person in the mountain, and they protected each other, and they got out. Before they knew anything else about each other except that they were afraid, and strong, and on opposite sides of a war they were on a very temporary break from.

Of course that’s the thing they go back to. Whatever happened after that -- ugly things happened, they killed people who didn’t deserve to die, she lied to his face and stabbed his sister and he choked her with his hands -- something in the universe kept pulling them back together, then stuck them in a spaceship for six years and let them be happy. (Part of that something was him, saving her life before he’d fully even forgiven her.)

That connection *meant* something. (Maybe it’s romantic! Maybe it’s unhealthy! Maybe it’s Maybelline! I already made this joke in the tags!) Everything they survived, everything they put behind them. That core of who they are that they saw reflected in each other.

When Echo’s freaking out in 5x01, Bellamy reminds her of when he came to her rescue in Praimfaya, convincing her to face an uncertain future. When Bellamy’s freaking out in 5x06, she reminds him of the cage, that they’ve been through worse than this. It’s a cheat to the audience a little bit, reminding us they do have a history together that wasn’t just “offscreen” or bad. But it’s also... exactly the moments in their relationship that they would use as touchstones, to tell each other everything will be okay.

[Btw my Becho tag is “what are we gonna be now” because that is the line of hers that I love the most. There is so much awareness of the roles they’ve played, to each other and in general, and the fear this current version of them where they’re happy and playful and not killing anyone at all is not going to last. There’s an honest possibility they’re only *good* in a cage, trapped and bored and grieving and separated from all the things that make them worse people than they want to be. COUNTERPOINT they were really cute at battle-coupling in the finale so idk, it looks like they found each other there too. KanyeShrug.gif]

Anyway it doesn’t matter whether you believe they’re “endgame” or not (UGH LET THAT WORD DIE I BEG YOU), whether you believe they’re soulmates, whether you believe they’re Doomed in one way or another now that they are non-caged again. This we’ll find each other shit is REAL for them. It’s something that was true before, in spite of literally everything, and they need to believe it now.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, October 12

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Meg Ryan’s new life revealed 

Page 1: Big Pic -- Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo Jr. holding hands and wearing masks in NYC 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: Contents 

Page 4: Halle Berry happiness at last -- after years of heartbreak Halle has finally found true love with Van Hunt

Page 6: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s private world -- they’ve got successful careers and a solid marriage but the thing they’re most proud of is the beautiful life they’ve built together and family is everything to them 

Page 7: Jessica Simpson swore off reality TV after her show Newlyweds led to her split from ex-husband Nick Lachey in 2005 but she finds she misses working in front of the camera and after multiple offers to do a reality show with husband Eric Johnson and kids Maxwell and Ace and Birdie including one from Ryan Seacrest she’s seriously considering it except Eric thinks it’s the worst idea, Taylor Swift is itching to get her girl gang back together after taking a break from throwing A-list bashes and while she has been loving life in Nashville with fiance Joe Alwyn she feels like she’s neglected other important people in her life and to make amends she’s already making plans to gather girl squad members Gigi Hadid and Blake Lively and Martha Hunt and Katy Perry at her Rhode Island beachfront mansion, Madonna is ready to spill all and her exes better watch out because she is gearing up to direct a movie which she’s cowriting based on her storied life including her romances with Warren Beatty and ex-husbands Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie and baby daddy Carlos Leon who are all reportedly unnerved by the project and she’s getting a savage pleasure knowing her famous exes are nervous 

Page 8: Nikki and Brie Bella were known for their sculpted physiques in the WWE ring and since welcoming baby boys this summer they’re eager to get back into fighting shape by doing Zoom workouts together including Pilates and yoga and giving each other daily pep talks, Kourtney Kardashian has a new crush and has been hanging non-stop with 19-year-old TikTok sensation Addison Rae because she finds Addison incredibly refreshing and fun but Kourt’s obsession with Addison who is 22 years her junior has been raising eyebrows -- Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian are trying to be cool about it but they find it a little creepy how Kourt hangs on this girl’s every word, Lori Loughlin was sentenced to two months in federal prison for paying bribes to get her two daughters into college and she wants a seriously cushy stay behind bars because she figures that with her fame level and wealth and influence there’s no reason why she can’t have many of the perks she’s used to including an air-conditioned cell and cable TV and gourmet food and yoga and Pilates classes and even her own private security guard but especially time off for good behavior 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars look dreamy in Oscar de la Renta -- Evan Rachel Wood, Kiki Layne, Scarlett Johansson 

Page 11: Regina King, Nicky Hilton Rothschild, Daisy Ridley 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Rachel Zoe vs. Molly Sims, Jamie Chung vs. Skyler Samuels

Page 13: Cara Santana vs. Kristen Taekman 

Page 14: News in Photos -- Johnny Depp looked relaxed and happy at the 68th San Sebastian International Film Festival for his new documentary Crock of Gold 

Page 16: The cast of Schitt’s Creek Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara and Daniel Levy and Annie Murphy, Olivia Culpo was joined by her dog Oliver during a day of shopping in West Hollywood, Miley Cyrus closing out the iHeartRadio Music Festival 

Page 17: Jessie James Decker running errands in Nashville, John Leguizamo playing chess in Washington Square Park, Eva Longoria urged Latinos to get out and vote at a campaign event for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris 

Page 18: Kaley Cuoco filming a scene for her show The Flight Attendant, Ian Somerhalder kissed the grass at the premiere of his new documentary Kiss the Ground 

Page 20: Drew Barrymore lit up the Empire State Building yellow to celebrate the premiere of her daytime talk show, Olivia Wilde and fiance Jason Sudeikis play soccer at the beach in Malibu 

Page 21: Tiger Woods ahead of the U.S. Open

Page 22: David Harbor grabbed a bite to eat solo in New York City, Jesse Metcalfe on his motorcycle, Paris Jackson showed support for longtime family friend Paris Hilton during a screening of her documentary

Page 23: Hailey Bieber on a pool floatie, Josephine Skriver filming a Maybelline commercial in New York City 

Page 24: Janelle Monae at the premiere of her new film Antebellum, John Legend made a grocery run in Los Angeles 

Page 25: Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs and former football pro Troy Polamalu shoot a Head & Shoulders commercial, Duchess Kate Middleton and Prince William made their first joint engagement after their summer break visiting a job center, Jennifer Garner picked up a bouquet of flowers while out and about in L.A. 

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Mariah Carey spent lockdown in a luxury estate in Bedford Corners, N.Y. 

Page 28: Drew Barrymore swore off men after her third divorce in 2016 but she’s had a change of heart because she’s been talking to Tom Cruise a lot during lockdown and now they’re on the verge of a full-blown romance

Page 30: It’s been a little over a month since Scott Disick and Sofia Richie pulled the plug on their romance but the pair are still hooking up on the DL which suits them both because Sofia is still attracted to Scott but she wanted freedom to date other people and the two of them have this warped attraction that they can’t find elsewhere, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have spent 37 blissful years together but after six months of quarantining together they’ve hit a serious rough patch bickering nonstop since lockdown started because they’re both independent spirits and being cooped up together day in and day out is just too close for comfort, Robert Pattinson and Suki Waterhouse are planning to tie the knot in a top-secret wedding this winter in the U.K. -- they want to have a small ceremony in London around Christmas with just family and a few close friends to toast with -- the two feel they are soulmates and feel it’s time to get married and settle down and maybe even start a family in the next couple of years 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Meg Ryan back and better than ever -- after taking a breather from Hollywood the new and improved actress is ready for her big comeback 

Page 36: Priscilla Presley putting family first -- how she is helping her daughter Lisa Marie Presley and grandchildren pick up the pieces after a tragic loss 

Page 38: Coming Clean -- stars open up about living booze-free -- Lucy Hale, Joe Manganiello, Bradley Cooper 

Page 39: Brad Pitt, Miley Cyrus, Jada Pinkett Smith, Daniel Radcliffe 

Page 40: Interview -- Keith Urban digs deep -- the country crooner talks about his eclectic new album and life at home with his favorite girls 

Page 42: Olivia Munn 40 and fabulous -- how the stunning star stays in such great shape 

Page 46: Style Week -- Kate Hudson is adding Inbloom a plant-based powdered supplement brand to her growing empire 

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury’s new Walk of No Shame collection offers five new universally flattering ways to get a glow up -- Miranda Kerr 

Page 49: Steal Her Style -- Cate Blanchett reigned supreme at the Venice Film Festival -- here’s how to wear her look for less 

Page 50: Getting Organized 101 -- freshen up your space for fall with the Home Edit founders and Netflix stars Joanna Teplin and Clea Shearer sharing their top tips for how to conquer clutter 

Page 52: Beauty -- Scent-sational -- time to add one of these new fragrances to your vanity 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 55: Q&A with Troy 

Page 58: Buzz -- Crikey, it’s a girl! Bindi Irwin and Chandler Powell share their baby joy in a zoo-themed gender reveal 

Page 60: Sound Bites --Chrissy Metz on getting ready to release her debut album at age 40, Ryan Reynolds on getting tested for COVID-19, Keke Palmer on staying true to herself, Carrie Underwood on forgetting to thank her family during an ACM Awards acceptance speech, Chrishell Stause on getting bad pick-up lines in her Instagram DMs 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Libra Kate Winslet turned 45 on October 5 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Machine Gun Kelly

[randomtesta]

My tumblr is supposed to be about deep stuff and feelings, but wtf i own this blog ill write whatever the fuck i want 

So I keep thinking of different things I want at different times, so why not channel this insatiable need to sell my soul to commercialism and list down different things i want at different times. It would be interesting to look back and see how my taste evolved. 

A little back story, if you happen to be some rare special person reading my blog (which would be kind of crazy because I havent shared this with anyone nor do i use tags) 

I have been unemployed for 10 months now. Initially I quit my job (which paid really less tbh) because I believed in greener pastures (dont we all) I had hoped i would quit my job, travel to another country, find a new job in a few weeks and move out forever. 

Well jokes on me. In my head i have always been the superstar. Maybe a complex i developed being the eldest child or because I was an exceptional student in school? 

Life has been pushing me into realization that i lead a life of mediocrity, that i deserve nothing exceptional, that i belonge in the 64th percentile. Whether it was the shockingly average grades in high school, to going to a College I always thought was beneath me. I agreed to all the mediocre choices I had to make, thinking it was temporary, I rememeber when I got into college (and i got a scholarship) i thought ‘Well its only four years, after that im going to NYC for my masters” well, that never happened! 

When i started applying for jobs, i was sure i would be snagged up by the biggest glitziest corporation, where I would wear power suites, make big decisions and have an office with the skyline view. In reality I was unemployed for two years after graduation. Which completely broke down my confidence, shattered my illusions, and made me accept a ‘work from home’ job I had always mocked before. Even there, I think i excelled, and took pride in my work. 

Then for a bit, things went my way and I got job offer from a company that was internationally known, but the universe has a way of making sure i stay confined in that mediocrity, the company offered me a very low salary. Imagine earning 1/3 of what my friends and family were earning. But the company was great and I thought id work for six months save and then travel and transfer to another country. God, was i wrong, or naive, or maybe just plain stupid. The job was not easy, it required me to get involved physically, emotionally and mentally. I was drained, i was stressed but i was proud of my work. In 1.5 years i achieved big milestone, albeit lack of recognition, and then one day irealized i had saved enough money. I had allowed the 6 months to turn into 1 year six months, i had enough experience and money to go abroad and find a good job. AGAIN boy oh boy was i going out of my league imagining a future beyond what was destined for me. 

Fast forward. Here i am 10 months from leaving that job. Completely broke. Literally my wallet is empty, my bank is empty. If at this point i need to buy ANYTHING i need to rely on my parents. Thank GOD i was born in an affluent family where my parents dont rely on me to support them, where they have big enough house where I can live comfortably. Without them expecting anything in return. 

If conditions were not this suitable, if my dad hadnt worked all his life to have good retirement, i would be on the street right now. That is the sad reality of that big dreamer. 

I try not to let these thoughts get into my head. I tell everyone, my company couldnt afford me, when they recently interviewed me and rejected me. 

When people ask me what i am doing these days, i use my rehearsed line about being ‘in between jobs’ or i work from home, blah blah 

You know what, i got tired of writing this sorry ass tirade. I am not giving up. I have NEVER given up! I found unconventional love, i found my rare soulmate, i travelled far and beyond my means and met her. I created a life i always dreamt of, i did things people my age especially women in this country cant even fathom. And i did it with joy with laughter i travelled far, i ate exotic food, i laughed all night with her, and i have a lifetime waiting and promises to keep. So sorry, scratch the melancholic drama I wrote, i am sure im hormonal these days. I am healthy, i have a purpose, and whatever i do, i give my 100% Yes i dont have money and i dont have job. But, i have my resolve. I have my dreams and i l still live a better life than most people while i transition to self actualization. Fuck self pity. 

Here are the things i want these days 

Foundation (Maybelline) 

Scented Candle ( I dont know why, maybe I dont really need it) 

Some good chocolates (just because) 

Fuck the chocolates, its the stupid pressure of valentines day

Im good fam 

[ao3-rickylmerthurj2]

A Thousand Lifetimes by <a rel="author" href="/users/DarylDixonGrimes/pseuds/DarylDixonGrimes">DarylDixonGrimes</a>

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2B1JRRG

by DarylDixonGrimes

The strange old woman makes Rick feel less wary than he knows he should. She talks cryptically about answers to questions he doesn't know he has, about tea and journeys. His curiosity brimming, Rick lets her guide him (and Daryl) through the infinite seas of time, through all the moments that help them remember exactly who and what they are.

Words: 4124, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Walking Dead (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Daryl Dixon, Rick Grimes

Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes

Additional Tags: Soulmates, Past Lives, occasionally rick and daryl are other genders, idk - Freeform, this is hard to tag, maybe witchcraft, maybe it's something else, maybe it's maybelline, rick and daryl are lesbians for a second, which is a tag that will make sense in the context of the story, brief sexytimes, but not very explicit sexytimes, hand holding, Aaron approves

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2B1JRRG