#maybe im otherkin maybe that's what my problem is

[inkblot-skyz]

I want wings i want wings so bad but not necessarily like bird ones with feathers like. Those would be rad too i love birds but like. Specifically i want wings with STARS in them that would be Gender so much ANDANDAND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO FOLD THEM UP TO MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE A CAPE!! Maybe i want dragon wings?? Dragons don't have feathers but fucking dammit i'll make it happen ALSO i like insect wings so???? As long as i can see the spacetime continuum in them I'm fine!! WORMHOLE WINGS ACTIVATE!!!!!

what do you mean that's impossible where are going waig listen to me aughaughghh

[roughentumble]

Sorry to be an overly parasocial anon, but have you thought about seeing a therapist? It seems like you are experiencing some intense dissociation from your sense of self. Which personally sounds very scary to go through and it might be worth it for you to talk about it with a professional, to make sure everything’s okay?

LMAO wrote out a whole reply to this but realized it was really long and rambly and had a stupid metaphysical explanation that maybe didnt make much sense? but anyway anon, while maybe i dont have the Most stable sense of self, mostly i am just otherkin, which i dont talk about often but doesnt cause me distress. in the same way some folks Are cats or dragons or elves, i Am logan, and a host of others(my brain tends to kin shit in pairs/small groups, i guess as a defence against getting lonely? or maybe just because whatever souls reincarnated into me, were so attached to each other that they clung together when entering a new body. or maybe its all in my head and i just makes me happy to think that way! who knows, i just work here.)

maybe a therapist could "give me a more stable sense of self" but i feel like they'd just tell me to stop being otherkin and "embrace who i am" or whatever, and i feel pretty myself when i am expressing myself this way, and i feel it all on an embarrassingly spiritual level. i'm more fictionflicker-y than some other more stable 'kins which is probably part of my problem too, but holding onto one "self" above all others is so dull and difficult. i'd rather just see who's awake today.

i can post the explanation too if anyone's curious what i wrote but you're probably not. and i can list the various 'kintypes i have/have had, but again idk why anyone would be interested. and maybe i just "have too strong interests" and they "take over my mind" for a while, maybe i "lose myself" in movies, but quite honestly that explanation is mostly just what i say to myself when i start feeling "fake" and it causes the most emotional instability and causes me to lose my sense of self instead of helping me "be whoever [this vessel acting with a singular soul in its drivers seat] is", so im pretty sure thats Not true and its just my anxiety fucking with me.

[fictionkinfessions]

it might be harmless but kffs are getting on my nerves

ive been here in the kin tag all by myself for two years since i awoke as simon, and i was so lonely...when i heard about f&c coming out i lightened up a little because hey!!! maybe itll wake up/reawaken other at kins, so they start posting w me! i didnt wanna be alone

but so far its been an influx of- hes soooo me i identify with this awow i kin (talks abt their kintype in third person as if they just relate)- like what are you saying???? is that you or isnt it? cmon man.

and also why is everybody me? i know im relatable but. i wouldnt mind doubles if you were being for serious. like i dont just 'identify with' i AM simon. im forreal.

and maybe im just a cranky older kin but it gets on my nerves because im fairly certain the disconnect in language is because of a slight generational difference. people from other sites talk about being kin much differently, and they tend to be slightly younger. early twenties shouldnt be so different from me being mid twenties, but it feels like it.. im frustrated, not because of tradition or whatever, but because I FEEL ALONE AGAIN!!! our experience is different! i cant relate to any of handful of kin blogs ive found! i learned abt being otherkin/fictionkin not just from tumblr but from the older forums. of course older kinmunities has its own share of problems but at least i found kinship there.

im just lonely and bitter again, man. where is everybody?

#☆0☆

🐸

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

[shadowfae]

Honestly, Copinglink really needs to be more known. Posts like the one you responded too, I see them quite often and it's exactly as you said. And I wonder why the first instinct of these people is "im Kin Ina different way, accept that" instead of "maybe I'm not Kin, is there a better fitting term?"

[exhausted noises of ‘I don’t know’]

Maybe it’s because we don’t talk enough about it, and ‘kin is all these people know, so they assume they must fit in somehow, and if we talked more about copinglinking outside of ‘fuck you you’re not ‘kin’ that might fix it???

Like, would it help if everyone just talked more about linking in general? Do y’all want essays on my copinglinks, past and present, and how that works out? Should we make it a Thing to be open and loud about our links as well? Would that help?

Fuck, man, I don’t know. I just know that if you’re a ‘linker, otherkin’s focus on introspection can actually be wildly damaging, because we focus so much on making sure we’re right and not faking and not off on a tangent, and the nature of ‘linking requires that you trust yourself and don’t shatter any illusions about it. And linkers saying they’re otherkin is how I get told it’s not so serious and I can’t have exotrauma and to get off my high horse when I say “This happened, this ruined my life, it took a monumental amount of effort to fix!”

A linker getting dysphoria from their links should probably fix how their link works. An otherkin getting dysphoria is going to get a shrug and a “yeah you’ll just have to suffer, sorry”. 

It’s like. Fuck. It’s like that one post about how European wolves are vicious and bully farmers and NA wolves are shy and run from people, so if you’re a werewolf and you don’t know if you’re an Old World or New World strain, you get all the conflicting information on “Just go to a park and run around! :D” versus “On the full moon, lock yourself in a kennel and Do Not Leave or you Will Kill Someone.”

That’s the problem we’re having here, because people refuse to admit the two strains require a completely different approach, and insist everyone is a New World strain werewolf when uh, hello, some of us are fucking Old World strain and insisting we’re just shy uwu wolves is going to get someone majorly hurt!

... Actually that’s a better metaphor than I thought, huh.

I have feelings but I don’t know what the fix is and I feel like if we had more linker voices we’d have a better guess at a solution! Gah!

[ixnova]

hhhh i need to get this out of my head so ignore me

Posting here to just rant I guess bc it allows for any length post I want and I don’t use my tumblr much at all now so I don’t really care about it But uh I’m just going through like a bunch of emotions and I don’t really know how to deal or what to do with myself? My main question hitting my head is “What if I’m trans?” I got a trans friend tho and I don’t wanna like ask my dumb questions and upset him or look like a fucking bigot or an idiot or my worse fear, trans trending. But I’ve always been extremely boyish, tomgirl, I fucking hate being a woman because of all the complications, I always wanted to talk about it with my doctors and such but I don’t even know how to bring it up and now I don’t even think I could be trans even if I wanted to bc my hormones are already fucked sideways to begin with. I’m on pills to try and level it out bc my ovaries are broken for one, and I got extra hair growth and stuff and I’m like uhhhhhhgggg If i were to get testosterone pills how would that fuck up with all that stuff?? I don’t think i can honestly so that bugs me. Two, i fucking hate having to keep my hair pretty and such, id love to cut it short, dye the shit out of it, etc. I’m sticking to my long hair bc im like “Well i might as well try to be a girl” since i dont think I can be trans, but I wouldn’t mind being a guy when I think about it. I mostly get along with guys, I do a lot of guy stuff, etc, and where I’m bi its not like liking girls would be a problem at all then lol, tho id still be bi bc some men just ruffle my jimmies I think I’m having a huge identity crisist as I get older and am starting to do stuff for myself, I dont dress how i really want to, bc im afraid to. my rooms not really how i want it, because im not allowed to make it that way, etc. I cant drive and am still dependant on my parents but i really wanna get my liscence and break free of that. i wanna move out etc, but im also fucked bc i dont know what i wanna do for further schooling.

im also like questioning kin and idk what to do about that either, as much as i hate the concept of otherkin i also kinda get it and i might be falling back into my bullshit, but its just so messy and odd, idk how the fuck i could be a fictional character in a past life that makes no fucking sense but yet im drawn to some characters in the kintype manner and i just ugghhhh its so confusing.

my biggest thing is my main ocs are a projection of myself, Xavior is how i wanna be, how i wish i could look, and my other main oc is male presenting as well. i hate my birth name and would love to change it, and i find myself wanting to dissapear online again and go by either a “kin” name or my ocs name, Xavior is a swell name gotta admit. so is Wiley. Online i COULD do that but i have irl friends now even if they are long distance and they know me as i currently am and its so odd to just roll up and ask they  call me x or z or something. i just i dont know. its weird and i have no idea how to tell my parents about this at all, i dont even know if they’re actually aware im bi or anything. i havent outright said anything gay but i also havent been suddle about saying shit like “zarya can bench press me any day” and actually said “I’m gay” aloud in response to hot women ive seen within earshot of my mom.

maybe in the future now that i got my own money and resoures ill try to get in shape and at least dress the way i wanna dress - kinda punkish, leather jackets, ripped jeans, boots, god i want a nice pair of boots...

[element-of-empathy]

I feel like I might be kin, but im not sure what exactly I am yet and Im not sure how to fully accept it. Its still a new concept to me that im not sure i fully understand yet. I feel like I am a mix of wind, fae, and bunny all in one. Do you have advice for accepting this and perhaps a way to properly learn more? Research has led to not much clarity...

Hi anon! Sorry for the wait!! 

Back in the tender year of 2015, I - like many others - thought the concept of Otherkin was ridiculous (mostly because my only experience was trolls, really) so when the first thought struck “Hey! I might be Faekin!” I had a hard time accepting the idea too. 

The idea wouldn’t leave me alone, so I looked into what it really meant to be Otherkin. Identifying as Otherkin means you involuntarily Identify, fully or partially, as something non-human (contrarily, “voluntary” identification for purposes of coping with different problems is called “copinglink”, not Otherkin.) 

On the surface it sounds ridiculous, I know. But as I’m sure you’ve found, kin folks do know we’re human. Our identities are spiritual or psychological. For instance, my soul is primarily constructed of Magic from the Faerie Goddess Dana. Hence, I’m that Faerie Goddess! I’m a new person, but with a patchwork soul. 

Polykin are also a thing! My soul is primarily Magic, but there are also parts of another soul in the patchwork - a piece of which I share with Snow White. Again, I’m a new Person! But I’m also Snow, and feel comfortable taking that identity.

So identifying as Wind, a Faerie, and a Bunny isn’t unreasonable! The best thing to do would be to examine the boundaries between these identities. Is the identity of wind connected to the identity of a Faerie? Elementals are a thing. A Faerie who’s domain is wind, or air. Does the identity of a bunny connect to any of the others? Or are they all intertwined? 

Really, there’s no wrong answer. Not everyone has the same Otherkin experience - in fact, I’d wager that most people don’t, actually, because these things are as unique an experience to us as our identities as human, or our personalities would be. 

I think, personally, that the best method of research on Otherkin would be to communicate with other kin. (Ba dum tss!) Hear about their experiences and learn about your own! 

In the Divine community, I learned the concept of “Godshard” - a small piece of a God transplanted into a Human Body - which described my relationship with Dana. Likewise, you can learn things about yourself and your experiences through the community - most of us have been through the ringer of “jeeze, what do these feelings mean and what do I do about them, are there others who feel the same way?” already, and who can also help you navigate this sorta thing. 

And I think, most importantly: go with your instincts. If you feel like the best thing to describe you would be something like, “Wind Faerie who could shapeshift into a Bunny” then go with it. That’s your identity. And don’t be afraid to be wrong! Labels are for your use, for you to figure out what you’re feeling. If months or years from now you find something that better suits you, or you feel like your original identity doesn’t suit you anymore? There’s nothing wrong with changing how you present yourself. 

I thought I was Sunset Shimmer from MLP. I tried out the identity, to see if it fit me personally. Turns out it didn’t - not in the way I expected, at least. Hell, I went by Tib for ten years and recently changed my name to Snow! That doesn’t make it fake or mean that you were just pretending or being frivolous. It just means that you’re still learning about yourself, that you’re growing and changing and maybe making a few mistakes along the way, which most people do! 

In fact, accepting new ideas and identities as they come is better than being stagnant out of fear of skepticism and feeling like you’re not you anymore. 

I know I’m long-winded, but I hope this helps!! My askbox is always open if you ever have questions love

[taffybuns]

got a bunch of furry asks in the past few days please dont send any more

gonna answer whatevers left under the cut

Anonymous said:Lmao anon really??? Furries arent a kink??? Its just some art, can you maybe chill????

Anonymous said:literally who the fuck decided that being a furry was a fetish. i'm fucking ace and hate yiff and i'm a furry. where are your parents other anons. also may i add that your 'sona is a sweet bean whomst i love because they are

Anonymous said:To clarify: Furries are fans or people interested in the concept of anthropomorphic animals. Anthropomorphic means non-humans with human characteristics. As a furry myself, I can tell you that most furries you will meet are friendly people, and a good amount are not interested in the sexual side or are simply disgusted by it. Although this doesn't mean I'd say it doesn't exist. Furries know the porn exists, we just try not to associate with it. (Enjoy this hopefully helpful explanation)

Anonymous said:To that one anon: Mon can do what they want, you should stop attackingg them. They never promoted "child rape" or the sexual side of the furry community- which, by the way, they SPECIFICALLY STATED they were not a part of. Their fursona is adorable and everyone would appreciate if you would kindly stop being rude because you have some sickening idea of furries based on stereotypes and hate.

Anonymous said:i was seeing a lot of furry hate, but personally i think furries are cool and aren't always just porn???

Anonymous said:Holy fuck what is going on. Who compares having a fursona to child rspe?? Im gonna go lay down..

lemoneychicken said:@anon furries arent a fetish... by definition its people who like anthro animals... yes, there are people in the community who do/enjoy those things, and i am in no way defending them, but you shouldn't blame a huge group of people for what only a chunk of them do

Anonymous said:why are you getting those nasty anons at furries like ??? you're a sweet pea mon

Anonymous said:Don't know what the heck was up with that anon hate earlier. Furries aren't inherently sexual. In any case your fursona is a 10/10 qt 3.14. I know they aren't even the same species but for some reason I get a lot of UT Alphys vibes off of it. Stay cute.

Anonymous said:lmao that anti-(fun) furry anon mustve had a real big problem w/ zootopia amirite

Anonymous said:Soup you're so nice I don't understand how someone could be so mean to you for having an (adorable) fursona. Don't listen to the haters who use the anon button to hide from being punished for their harsh words. <3

oh thanks guys

i guessssss its a fetish to some people? but by definition not really

what really rubbed me the wrong way was equating it to child r*pe, what the fuck, dont do that that’s seriously invalidating a serious problem, you can hate it and that’s fine but don’t do That

Anonymous said:It's chill other anon but you will still be s furry by definition.

if anon doesnt wanna be called a furry thats up to them

Anonymous said:serious furry question would being a furry be the same as having a kin (or otherkin is that term still used??) or is there a difference? idk much about kin tho so sorry if i get its meaning wrong

for some people yes for the most part not really, i dont kin personally

Anonymous said:your fursona is suber cute!!! could you tell us more about them please?? who is they?? ? ?

ajhgjafg i have no info on them but they have a....furvilla

Anonymous said:For the anon. Don't think you have to stay with actual "furry" animals either. One of my favorite fursonas I've seen is an oxtlotl.

yeah theres those? i guess some people call em scalies but thats strange to me

Anonymous said:My fursona is a Suffolk sheep

adorable!!

Anonymous said:u make furries look good

ahah thanks!

Anonymous said:ok a lot of the furry community IS like that but most of it is just kids having harmless fun with ocs...

i made my first fursona when i was 11 on deviantart so yeah idont exactly see how its inheritely an nsfw thing

scironex said:Okay, maybe weird compliment, but your fursona, like, perfectly fits your art style. I've always thought of you as the poofy marshmallow artist, and your sona looks like an adorable marshmallow with ears.

aww shucks dude thank you ;;

[starlightbarbie]

(don’t reblog this post if you’re not one of my friends talking to me)

okay, you know, i changed my mind? i’m cleaning house today, airing out laundry, so why not do the same emotionally?

it’s been weighing on me too long and making me feel like a bad person but i’ve been so terrified of burning bridges that i never want to admit when i have a different opinion social-justice/spiritual-wise than my friends on here.

bc a lot of people seem to have the attitude that having a different political opinion than someone means you literally can’t interact with them again or continue being friends.

which i understand, it’s an online safe space and you want to surround yourself with like-minded people so you can enjoy your time away from the real-life people whose opinions you’re stuck around. tumblr is kind of the only place you CAN talk to ppl about lgbt, race, gender, etc issues and avoid other types of ppl.

but it just seems so, in a way, divisive and un-productive to alienate people who you enjoy talking to and being friends with, who share all of your political, social justice beliefs except ONE or TWO....just because their ideology doesn’t match perfectly with yours.

especially when they’ve been respecting your opinions the entire friendship and there’s no reason you wouldn’t be able to continue talking just without discussing those topics you’ve never discussed in the first place because they’ve been silent about them...

so maybe i’m afraid of all my friends finally learning my two differing opinions and immediately going “wow youre a bigot we cant be friends” and maybe thats presumptive and wrong but i can’t help my instinctual worries, you know? am i putting up too much self-defense here??

i hope i dont sound attack-y which i’m worried i might because whenever i get ranty....but whatever, this is all just MY opinion and if you read it i hope you can understand where im coming from and then, take from it what you will.

.hhmm. enough stalling...

ive never been “anti” otherkin--as i understand it’s a spiritual belief for some and a coping mechanism for others, and there’s no reason for me to bash that or find any fault with people who just feel a connection to a certain animal or whatever. that’s been happening for all of human existence, there are religions which believe in reincarnation, and i’m agnostic anyways.

i wasn’t raised religious, tho my mom was raised catholic--she wanted my sister and i to come to god on our own terms in our own time instead of being brainwashed by a church since babyhood. so far it just made us very secular. but i’ve had jewish, christian, muslim friends, and never disrespect anyone’s spiritual beliefs. i do preach separation of church and state and hold the political views that come with that, but i believe in freedom to express religion as long as it doesn’t infringe on another human’s rights.

but when it goes past otherkin...people identifying as animals, plants, and galaxies, that doesn’t harm anything--but when it comes to fictionkin and factkin it makes me very uncomfortable.

it feels extremely like theft of intellectual property and theft of identity. factkin, i have never actually seen a person identifying as, just people having “discourse” over, so i dont know if its even real but if it is...i dont even know if i have to argue against it, it’s literally pretending to be another person who is alive?? and is themselves. it’s way beyond wrong to pretend to actually be a famous person, and it is NOT a healthy coping mechanism. it could actually really scare or harm that person they’re pretending to be.

fictionkin is something i have seen a LOT and have friends who id that way, so that’s i guess the big topic here. no problem with otherkin, no one i know is factkin, but fictionkin....

i understand where it would come in as a coping mechanism, i really do. i can relate. i have characters that i’m very attached to, that i relate to very much, that i look up to and want to emulate. some of them i even feel unreasonably possessive over, like “well that’s my favorite character, they can’t be your favorite character if they’re already mine” which probably comes in to play with fictionkin feeling like they ARE the character so nobody else can be the character.

but the thing is, i can’t help but to feel like it’s intellectual property being stolen. it’s one thing to roleplay, to say “hey i know i dont own this character but i’m gonna pretend to be them and explore different scenarios.” the same for cosplaying or writing fanfiction and making fan art. using characters somebody else created to INSPIRE your own art is all fun and games as long as you dont claim to own any of the copyrighted materials.

claiming to BE the fictional character is totally claiming to own it. not legally obviously, i don’t think any fictionkin think they legally have rights to their kin, but definitely a huge mark of ownership to say “This is Me.”

they didn’t create that character. they didn’t spend hours, days, months, pouring their heart soul sweat blood and tears into bringing that character to life. the writer/artist did. when you write, you put literally all of yourself into your characters. every bit of it comes from your thoughts, your unique worldview, the things you’ve seen and learned all mixed together and spat out in a new form. it all comes from the mind of the character’s creator. in a way, their characters are each, them, or have their blood running through their metaphorical veins.

i am PASSIONATE about writing.

claiming to BE that character, that a writer put so much of themselves into, is almost like claiming to be that writer too. at least like carving out a piece of their mind and saying “this is mine, it came from my life in another universe. it doesn’t belong to you. it’s not a unique pattern of emotions and ideas and creativity that you spent years developing. it’s just me from another universe, what a coincidence, right?”

it’s so offensive to steal another person’s hard work like that. and tumblr--tumblr--is supposed to be this place where people care about art theft and crediting the owners matters? and that makes me very, very uncomfortable as an aspiring writer who has my own original characters developing in my head.

important side note: i dont think you can say that fictionkin doesnt actually hurt anyone the way factkin obviously would. i have seen personal accounts from people on tumblr that said people were tagging their ocs/self portraits as kin, or telling them that they were kin with their ocs and they were writing the story wrong in some way, and they were very distressed by it.

so. i have never said anything because i dont want to hurt anyones feelings and i dont want to lose friends, but i also have to be honest and say what i believe if i want to respect myself as a person. so that’s what i believe.

and i don’t think it’s a necessary course of action to cut off ties with someone because they dont believe in fictionkin. its like stopping being friends with someone because they have a different religion than you. i’ve had christian, jewish and muslim friends and as i said, i’m non-religious.

i understand that maybe identifying as a character is more tied with your personal identity than your religious identity, so it’s natural you would feel like people should accept that that character is part of your personality--but please understand that i can accept that there are aspects of all those characters in you and that you relate to them, without expecting me to believe that infinite universes AND reincarnation across those universes exist, which is more than any of my religious friends have asked of me. (ie no one has tried to convert me to their personal spiritual beliefs)

so that said, idk if anyone read all of this, but if you want to stop being my friend over it i wont try to make you change your mind. if youre uncomfortable talking to me after this, its fine and i wont push it. i gave my reasoning for why im willing to stay friends and put our different beliefs aside so know that youre always welcome in my life if you want to be, but i wont force you if you dont.

the next one is worse. stay tuned.

[kinsidering]

Hello! I figured I could come and ask you this since you are a kin-based blog, but may I ask what kinds are?:)

no problem!! im going to copy and paste an answer ive given on my personal blog :> i hope this explains it!! if you have any more questions feel free to ask! -mod dirk

so you have a couple of types, fictionkin and otherkin.i believe there is also factkin, but i am not knowledgable enough to give you a good explanation on that.

as the name would suggest, fictionkin is when you are kin with a fictional character. essentially, you see yourself as that character, that character is you. sometimes it may be stronger than others, as well.

otherkin is when you are kin with something ‘other’ than human, ranging from things like glitchkin and cloudkin to dragonkin and selkiekin as well as wolfkin and magpiekin and the like. another term used for specifically earth-based kintypes is ‘therian’.a lot of people get memories from their kintypes!! maybe about people, places, specific interactions, various things.

sometimes people will feel kind of weird on their current body! i know occasionally ill accidentally duck through a doorframe because i expect to hit my horns on it, and other times it will feel strange bc i don’t have my wings and ill want to stretch them, but not everybody feels this.

there are really no specific reasons someone is kin, anyone could be kin. among mentally ill people, especially people with personality disorders and identity issues, it can be a very helpful coping mechanism.

[seagreenflowers]

for your consideration this pride month:

A non-binary, bisexuals probably homophobic opinions on gender and sexuality

for starters, i’d like to say this is just my personal opinion and i don’t expect anyone to actually read this other than maybe one friend i have on tumblr and people i specifically send it to, but in the event that this blows up because ya know, it’s the internet: I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s gender expression, sexuality, person opinions, labels, or thoughts on the community. this is just how i personally view everything concerning LGBT from my lived experiences.

to begin, i think that there are two main opinions from people in and outside the community over the number of labels we use and they generally fall into these categories either: “we have too many, these fucking snowflakes” and “i don’t really care, you do you” there are very, very few actually “”snowflakes”” that use the terminology we’ve all seen and had opinions about. therefore, why is it still in use? why do they have their own pride days in the month? well, from what i can see, my best guess is the definitions of everything are very muddled and the minute differences are expanded upon in ways that simply do not make sense to me.

for example, the sheer number of words we have for an attraction to multiple genders, while they all have their own differences, why can there not just be an umbrella term and people describe their individual sexual desires to the people they need to define it to. just to make my case here’s the words i’ve found:

bisexual

pansexual

omnisexual

polysexual

queer

all of these words have a basic meaning of attraction to more than one gender that it is inconceivable to me why we need all of them. if there’s discourse around how bisexual doesn’t just mean two, then why does poly exist? and if there’s discussion about bisexuals not always have a gender preference then why do pan and omni have distinctions? to me personally, in a perfect world, we need zero labels, but how we live today, we need the labels. if straights and gays aren’t equal and we take away the distinctions, they’ll never be equal. but stemming from that, i have qualms with words like this that feel like preferences over an actual distinction in sexuality. because the argument from the community (which i 100% agree with) is that you don’t Choose sexuality, things that feel like Choosing demean the entire system. things like bi where you see gender feel to me like “when looking for a partner, i Choose based on gender” definitionally and maybe that’s a misinterpretation of the word choice because in dating and sex everyone has to experience choice, that’s consent, but really you fall in and out of want instead of saying “i’m looking for a 5’4 blonde girl that has freckles” because as much as you can have a wish list it will never be fulfilled in the way you intend because people don’t bend to specifications. and maybe that thought process of not looking for a gender or a set of attributes makes me pan, but that’s not how i identify, so this is where we get to the point. if people don’t identify with the words that most describe how they actually feel because there’s another word that explains them, why do the words exist in the first place!

this is why it took me 4 years to actually come to the conclusion that i was bi. 1. because of the sheer number of words to describe how i was feeling but 2. if bisexuals can have any split between male and female attraction (doesn’t have to just be male and female but for examples sake) if i am not split 50/50 that would fall into the realm of poly and omni. and 3. girls are cute but are girls like date cute or are girls just like delicate cute (but that’s beside the point)

now i think i continue to beat a dead horse if i go into discussions about asexuality and all of its subgroups 1. because i’ve proven my point with multiple gendered love and 2. that’s not my community i would get something wrong and that’s not my intention. but GENDER!! FUN!!

so anyway that i go into this is going to sound offensive and it will get kind of rude but it’s out of pure inability to comprehend most of this. if someone wants to educate me, go right ahead.

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GENDER IDENTITY AND GENDER EXPRESSION

gender identity is the gender you feel. the sex. male, female, non-binary.

gender Expression is how you interpret that label. things like demi girl and gender fluid feel in this category to me because you Cannot in any case change gender day to day. period.

you are allowed to dress more masculine and feel more comfortable masculine one day and feel more comfortable feminine another. that’s not your gender changing!!!!! that’s just PREFERENCES!!!!!!! that’s Choice!!!!!!

what i’ve always understood in my heart the way to tell if you’re feeling a shift in expression or in identity is these 3 categories: perception, privates, personality. the three Ps (i did just come up with this)

are you worried or uncomfortable with someone using a certain name or set of language that hints to gender (such as queen v king) [the pronoun discussion is for later i don’t find it appropriate to include it here] this is perception

do you dislike something being a part of your body, not because you find it ugly, uncomfortable, or unnecessary but because you Want the Parts of Another Sex. for example there’s a difference in “oh i wish i didn’t have a uterus because i hate periods” and “i wish i didn’t have a uterus because the thought of that being a part of my body makes me feel sick because i want *male anatomy*” that is privates

and finally, personality. just because you’re a tomboy doesnt make you trans. just because you like dresses or skirts as a boy, doesn’t make you trans. everyone’s personality and individualism is what makes this difficult. you’re allowed to have interests that are “of the opposite gender” that don’t make you trans.

and something that i feel is an important distinction and will lead us into the pronouns portion, and this sounds rude but it’s not, it’s the truth. there are a lot more people that claim ftm than mtf. there just simply are, and the problem with that arises with a lot of women are upset about the condition of being a woman in today’s society, with all the pressures, expectations, lack of rights, etc etc that they would rather be perceived as a man. they would rather be a man to avoid the constant taunting of women and as much as that’s relatable, being fed up with the human condition of womanhood DOES NOT MAKE YOU TRANS. all of the “she/they non-binaries” that arise today that have no problems with being identified as a woman in public, that have no want to change their physical bodies because they want the ones of the opposite sex, and act Like A Woman *are not really trans* because that demeans every aspect of what it Actually means to be trans and honestly it’s kind of insulting to be someone that experiences extreme gender dysphoria to just see people with the desire to be less of a woman out of, here’s this again, Choice, when really they’re mad about society. and oh boy is it completely valid to be mad about the conditions of women, and it is valid to identify as she/they or he/they. it’s just, the distinction between people that actually experience gender dysphoria and the ones that don’t like the way that boobs make the world interact with them.

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK ARE NEOPRONOUNS????? i don’t get it. i’ve never understood it and i don’t think i ever will but like, bold claim, furries and otherkins aren’t Part of the lgbt community???? and i might be mislead on what neopronouns actually are but the only time i’ve seen them actually used are in cases with otherkins and the like wanting to be referred to as pronouns that correspond with their *preferred species* which is a whole other can of snowflake worms that i don’t have time to get into today but like,,,in my humble opinion, i feel as tho he she and they kinda cover the spectrum. you’re fem identifying, she/her. boom, solved. ur masc identifying he/him. lovely, awesome. you feel in between, they/them. great. excellent. you have kinship with both femininity and androgyny she/they (or vice versa he/they) but like IM NOT CALLING SOMEONE LIKE “”BUNSELF”” CAUSE YOURE A BUNNY. THATS NOT HOW LANGUAGE WORKS???? this is only a phenomenon of the english language because most latin languages DONT EVEN HAVE A THEY/THEM FOR EVERYDAY CONVERSATIONS. and we have the AUDACITY to come up with this stuff???? i don’t- i don’t get it. like i speak spanish (i’m not a native, i’m still learning so don’t roast me if i say something incorrect) and it’s nearly impossible to find a way to refer to yourself as a they/them because the words simply don’t exist. i’m lucky enough to be okay with he/him pronouns but in languages and cultures were every single thing you interact with is labeled with a gender there’s simply no time to come up with and incorporate things like Neopronouns when we can’t even find a way to express the basics in another language... and the whole point of the LGBT community is to be inclusive to everyone no matter their sexuality, gender, race, ethnic background etc etc but this is something that quite blatantly leaves out most of the World.

anyway, these are some of my opinions. feel free to ask questions and ignore typos. once again i’m open to education, but this has been my ted talk.