#maybe im just too short to look as cool as other people do in the same outfit

[hearts4golbach]

could you write something about reader and johnnie related to the line 'he love me but he fucks me like he hates my guts' from the song yummy? ty 💕💕

Tease.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

warnings: use of ma, baby, mama, love, babe, slut, cheating, rough sex, unprotected sex (please use protection lol), overstimulation, implied hair pulling.

third person.

Johnnie had never thought of you as anything more than his best friend. maybe he had thought about you late at night, biting his tongue so as not to wake up jake in the room over, but never past that. he had always shooed away the thought, anyway.

ever since his past girlfriend, he had refused to ever think of another person romantically. although, he had acknowledged from time to time how funny, kind, and beautiful you were. he admired you in a friend way, he told himself.

although, whenever you had posted a selfie laying in your bed in the cutest outfit he had ever seen, it made him rethink your relationship.

he thought about the way your face lit up brighter than the sun when you saw him and the way your hand would purposefully graze him every chance you got. how could he be so oblivious? he began to think as his feelings for you grew.

you never seemed to mention other guys until you did. it was late at night whenever you had walked into johnnies room and asked him for advice. you wanted to know how to respond to a flirty text some random guy on instagram had sent, you explained. You thought he was cute and lived just a city over. this infuriated johnnie, as his feelings had been brewing for about 3 months now.

it didn't help that he got to see you every day, not that he was complaining, but it was torture. he frequently thought of you in your booty shorts and oversized band t-shirt early in the morning, making breakfast. or the slutty dresses youd wear to parties every other weekend. dont even get him started on the rhinestone belts you incorporated into every outfit. you had one in every different color, and he believed it was the cutest thing, your little addiction to them. it became too much to bear, and he frequently considered pouring his heart out to you. but he never did. things were going well with the other guy, and all he wanted was for you to be happy.

first person.

"Why are we even hanging all of this up? everyone is gonna be too drunk to notice, anyway." i complained, my arms beginning to ache as i held the decorations of choice to the wall while johnnie pinned them.

he shrugged, his eyes trailing down my body as i stretched. "cause were cool."

"i guess," i sighed, "im so worried, the guy I've been talking to is coming tonight." truth was, i could give a fuck less about that guy. yeah, he was sweet, but he wasn't johnnie. he wasn't anywhere close to being as prefect as johnnie was.

i looked into his eyes, praying he would beg me to uninvite him and be his, but that didn't happen. "Don't be, you'll be good," he responded nonchalantly before turning away to go put up valuables in the house that could be broken.

i stared at him for a moment before turning around and tending to my own work.

"Do you think this dress is okay?" i asked frantically.

"y/n, people are about to start showing up, and you're still trying to get dressed -" johnnie began to scold as he turned around.

his face flushed as he admired me in the dress. his eyes hesitated, staring at the slit in the dress that revealed my thigh and how the cut of the dress complimented my cleavage. he stayed silent.

"...so?" i asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"yeah, its whatever. its good." he brushed me off, going to unlock the door.

i hated how much he acted like he didn't care. i rolled my eyes and walked back to my room to put my shoes on. even though it was my own house, i didn't want anyone looking at my feet, of course. i put on my comfiest pair of heels and went to grab the drinks from the kitchen. i organized them on the table, setting out the plastic cups. i felt an arm wrap around my waist as a presence moved next to me.

"hey, its good to see you." the guy from instagram whispered in my ear. i leaned into his touch, ignoring the growing ache in my heart. "you look stunning."

"Thank you," i smile, "it's good to see you, too." This was only the second time we had ever seen each other in person.

i heard johnnie laughing behind me, presumably speaking to jake. i glanced behind me to see him leaning on the counter. he looked at me at the exact same time. He held his breath as his eyes ran over every part of me before turning his attention back to jake.

i sighed, "you wanna go dance?" i asked, hoping he'd say yes and hoping johnnie would hate it.

his eyes shined with lust, "Of course."

i grabbed his hand and dragged him into the other room, making sure we were still in johnnies vision. the guys hands moved to my hips immediately, pulling me onto him. my eye twitched with anger. i hoped it would work. i hoped and prayed johnnie would give in and make me his, so i had a reason to end this situationship. distractions weren't working anymore.

i kept my eyes on johnnie as he turned to watch. his eyebrows scrunched together whenever he saw the way i was pressed into the guy. his hand gripped the cup tighter, his knuckles turning white. i held eye contact the whole time, my gaze never leaving his as our movements became more sexual.

johnnie turned back to jake, saying something before setting his cup down and walking over to me. "can i steal you for a second?"

"Sure, bro," the guy said, taking his hands off of me and letting me walk away with johnnie.

"what, johnnie?" i groan, "im just trying to have fun."

he pushed me into my room and shut the door behind us and locked it. "what the fuck do you think youre doing?"

"what do you mean?" my heart raced.

"You know exactly what you're doing." he whispered in my ear, his pale arms snaked around me and grabbed my hips. "You've been teasing me for so long."

he pulled me closer. i pressed my hands against his chest. "really? what makes you say that?" i taunted.

"Those tiny jean shorts you wear around the house. you never wear them out, so i know they're for me. and those studded belts you always wear that somehow make your body even sexier than it already is." his hands slid down my thighs and pulled up my dress. it bunched around my waist as he squeezed my ass. "you really think i dont notice all the slutty little things you do?"

i bit my lip, feeling his nails digging into my flesh. "i was hoping you did. ive wanted you for so long."

"me too, mama." he replied before crashing his lips onto mine.

the kiss was rough and needy. he pressed me against the wall, his hands dragging up my body to my tits. he squeezed and pawed at them, not bothering to be gentle. i let out a soft moan on his lips. i felt him grow harder through his jeans as he pressed into me. i began to pull off of his shirt, immediately returning to the kiss as it landed on the floor. he wrapped his hand around my neck, squeezing gently. our teeth occasionally clashed as we tried to take as much of each other as possible.

he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist before bringing me to the bed. he tossed me down on my back before crawling on top of me. his mouth found the soft spot on my neck, biting and sucking until dark hickeys covered my neck and chest. he pulled the top of my dress down, revealing my bare chest.

he hummed, "god, you're so beautiful." he murmured before taking my nipple into his mouth. his tongue swirled over the bud, sucking gently. i moaned and arched my back, grinding onto his buldge.

"fuck, johnnie, let me have you." i pleaded, beginning to unbuckle his pants.

"Yes, ma'am." he complied, pulling his pants and boxers down around his ankles. his hard dick sprung out of his jeans.

i hissed, "shit."

johnnie slipped his middle and ring finger in my mouth. "Spit, baby." i did as he told, licking his fingers before spitting on them. my gaze never left his. i watched as lust overtook his eyes. "Good girl."

he rubbed my spit on his cock, wincing slightly as the friction. his slender fingers slipped through the lace strap of my underwear, pulling them down. i choked out curses as the cold air hit my pussy.

"god, youre fucking soaked." he smriked, "youre going to do so good for me, ma."

he gripped my hips, aligning his tip with my entrance before slowly sliding his cock inside of me. my mouth fell ajar as a soft moan escaped my lips. he bottomed out, giving me a moment to adjust to his size. my walls squeezed his cock, sending shivers through my body.

"fuck," he choked out, "are you okay?" he checked, running his hand over my cheek and pulling on my bottom lip.

i nodded quickly, wrapping my legs around his waist. his fingers intertwined with mine, putting one hand above my head. his other stayed on my hip, gripping so tightly i figured there'd be bruises in the morning. he began to thrust slowly, taking his time with me.

"I've wanted to feel you for so long," he muttered on my lips before kissing me softly. "god, youre so perfect. do you think you can take me, babe?"

i hesitated before nodding. "yes, oh my- please."

he moved his hand, so he had a firm hold on my hips. speeding up his pace, he whispered sweet nothings under his breath. "That's it, baby." his hand flew to my clit, rubbing circles.

my back arched slightly as i threw my head back. he took that to his advantage, his cock driving further into me. "Oh, shit." i moaned, placing my hand on his chest. "johnnie, i-i can't.."

"Yes, you can, love. i believe in you." his eyebrows furrowed. "im not done with you, yet."

i nodded, letting pleasure take over my body. moans and curses flowed out of my mouth. his pace was relentless. my mind was fuzzy, and i couldn't form any words besides his name. i moaned his name loud, forgetting other people could hear.

"you arent worried about your little boyfriend hearing you?" he chuckled in between pants, "youre such a slut, i love it."

"only you," i repeated, "only for you."

"That's my girl," he slammed my g-spot over and over as a knot began to form in my stomach. "youre mine."

i nodded eagerly, "'m gonna cum, baby."

"Me too, where do you want me?" he asked breathlessly. his thrusts became sloppy.

"inside. im on the pill," i moaned out, louder than i was expecting.

"i fucking love you." his raspy voice responded. "cum with me, mama."

his thumb met my clit again as my walls milked his cock, taking every last drop of his cum inside. my orgasm took over my body, making me go limp.

he kissed my forehead. "god, you're amazing," he flipped me over so i was bending over the bed, "give me one more."

all i could do was nod as i was still recovering from my previous orgasm. without warning, he was inside of me again, his quick pace never faltering.

my moans became high-pitched. the overstimulation was a mix of pain and pleasure. his fingers tangled in my hair, pushing my head down into the bed as he hit a different angle inside of me. his other hand gripped my ass as low whimpers slipped from his lips.

"fuck, i love you so much." his sweet words contradicting his actions. i tried to say it back, but it came out unintelligible. he stopped thrusting, balls deep inside of me. "use your words, baby."

"fuck, i love you." i grinded my ass into his hips, "i love you so much."

his cock began to drill into me again as i felt the knot in my stomach tighten again. "You close?" i moaned out in agreement. "Me too,"

my second orgasm hit me like a truck at the same time his did. johnnie collapsed onto the bed next to me. "we'll go shower when everyone leaves." he said breathlessly. i nodded in agreement. i laid my head on his chest and knocked the fuck out.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Wheezy Winters

Pairings: Wandanat x R

Word count: 1.1K

Summary: you had always kept your asthma a secret… until you couldn’t.

TW: asthma, fainting, hospitals (at the compound), swear word (just the one)

A/N This is so true for me. I know I shouldn’t be but I’m low key so embarrassed to use my puffer in-front of other people, even if I need it.

You’d had asthma long before you had joined the avengers. But when they had you fill out the medical forms you left out your condition in fear of placing your job in jeopardy. Who knows what they would have done. Less missions maybe? Less training? Less work? No. You loved your job. Over the first few months you found yourself under the two resident red heads wings. Slowly the three of you painstakingly became girlfriends. Joining the red headed relationship. They were sometimes overbearing but that was ok and justified by their traumatic pasts. All was going well until one winter morning.

You woke late. The clock read fifteen minutes until 6. Steve’s morning jogs were the bane of your existence and in your haste to be ready you forgot to take your preventer. The little purple puffer was a must in the winter. With the cold air and exercise being your main triggers, you had to take it each morning of the cold months. However in case needed you always carried around the blue puffer, to be taken if you had an attack. Shouldering your mini backpack you kept with you always, much to the amusement of the team, you ran down to the compound foyer.

The team grinned at the sight of the small bag. Clint and your girls often teasing you for your attachment to the bag. But pride and shyness kept you from telling them the real reason you kept the small black pouch on you always. Tony smiled at the sight.

“Got your bag of secrets?” He asked, poking fun. You smiled along not taking it to heart, they didn’t know.

“Come on love, you can leave it with Bruce if it makes you feel better.” Natasha smiled, kissing your knuckles lightly. You blushed slightly, embarrassed by the attention.

“Uh, no. It’s fine. Let’s just go.” You choked out, not missing Wanda’s raised eyebrow.

“Alright.” Nat sighed, pulling you out into the cold. Starting off slow, you broke into a jog, falling slightly behind the team a bit, matching pace with tony. You cringed at the slight jiggling sounds coming from your backpack. Not missing Tony’s feral grin. He made some snide remark, which you ignored. Focused more on the slight tightness in your chest as you realised you forgot the most impact the part of getting ready. You quickened you pace, wanting to be near Wanda in case of an attack. Your girls always made you feel safe. Nat was too far away to catch up to. Realising your mistake when your chest began to tighten more. Wanda noticed the discomfort, slowing to run beside you. You sent her an appreciative grimace and huffed a small ‘thank you’.

“It’s alright darling… are you feeling ok? You look a little puffed?” Wanda’s worry was justified, normally you ran circles around her without so much as a strained breath. But your chest was too tight to respond. Your breathes becoming shorter and shorter. Wanda slowed again. Dizziness overtook you as you sat down heavily.

“Baby? Are you ok?” She crouched beside you as you laid on the cool concrete. Her brow furrowed at your lack of response. Your arms reaching for something you couldn’t find.

“What do you need?” Wanda asked again.

“Wands? What’s going on?” Nat asked, having come back to see whats was happening.

“Im not sure, but Y/n/n’s breathing doesn’t sound too good.” Nat placed an ear to your chest, frowning at the raspy short breathes.

“Sweetheart, whats happening? use your words baby.” Wanda cooed, stroking your knuckles with her thumb.

“Need… backpack… front… pocket.” You wheezed between short breathes. Your lungs felt like they were being popped.

Nat grabbed the bag you had dropped. Neither of them had seen what was inside before. Pulling out the small blue device Nat frowned. Wanda quickly snatched it off her.

“Y/n/n I need you to open your mouth.” Wands said softly. Your vision began to blur as you lost consciousness. Opening your mouth before passing out.

“Shit.” Wanda swore. “Nat hold her mouth open and support her head.” Wanda shook the puffer a few times before removing the cap as Nat pulled your head into her lap.

Carefully Wanda tilted the puffer up slightly, angling it down your throat as she gave two puffs into your mouth.

“Now shut her mouth and pinch her nose.” Wanda instructed

“Why?” Nat asked not moving.

“Just do it.” Wanda responded. Nat moved and did as she was asked. “We need the medicine to stay in her lungs for a bit for it to work properly” she explained.

Wanda counted to five before telling Nat to let go. Repeating the process, she administered another two puffs before placing her ear to your chest again. Satisfied with the less raspy breathes you drew.

Wanda nodded to Nat, who scooped you into her arms and the two lightly jogged back to the compound.

When the made it to the lab, they placed you on the bed. Explaining to Bruce what happened, he placed you on a low flow of oxygen through a mask.

Coming out of the blackness was hazy. You felt a warm hand brushing the hair from your face, stroking it backwards softly. Eyes flickering, you drew both girls attention.

“Oh sweetheart.” Wanda cooed at the sight of your teary eyes. “Its ok. We understand.” She read you loud thoughts of your fears. “Honey, do you know how I knew what to do?”

You slowly shook you head, peeling back the mask to respond. “No.” You rasped. Nat’s hand placed over yours as she guided the mask back to your face.

“Honey, Pietro had asthma. It did nothing to stop his place on the team. But we needed to know. We’re sorry you felt you couldn’t tell us.” She whispered, her lips grazing your knuckles again.

“Love, don’t worry about anything. I’ll be beating Clint and Tony’s asses if they give you anymore grief about the backpack. Im glad you carried it with you despite their teasing.” Nat smiled, placing a kiss on your cheek.

After a few hours of rest. Life returned to normal. The only difference, now your two girls both check each morning to make sure you had taken your puffer, before they let you out of their sight. It warmed your heart in the cold months to know they cared.

|| PART 2 ||

Master list

[puripurin]

Yan! Llama Hybrid x SheepHybrid! Reader

— Recently, on the farm, a bunch of coyotes and wolves started to snag some sheep hybrids into the woods when they would get too close to the fences. It has gotten so bad that they would do it in broad daylight.

The owners decided that they would introduce a new addition to the herd to combat the coyotes. A male Llama named Lumi. All of the sheep were skeptical at first because they all thought that it was a little odd that the new sheep would have such a long neck and a lot bigger in size, but soon enough, they couldn't help but warm up to him.

Lumi, on the other hand, was still in his awkward phase. He'd recently entered into adulthood and was feeling sad and lonely without his parents there to guide him, but it wasn't until he saw your gorgeous curls and your small little tail that wagged in excitement. Just in that moment, he'd decided to be your life-long mate and started the process of courting you.

You did not give a shit about Lumi. You only cared about the coyotes that ate the rest of the flock. You wanted to start making sacrifices to grow your cult of small critters such as squirrels and rabbits.

This was because you heard from a passing by sheep hybrid that was being transported to another farm about how you could obtain everything you wanted if people devoted their lives to you.

However, you didn't expect Lumi to be so dedicated to you that he'd easily deciphered your messages to your devout followers and your weekly gatherings.

As you walked out of the dead of night, with the intention of killing a coyote that night. But it was oddly still, as if it was waiting for something. The trees didn't ruffle against each other, and the cool wind was nowhere to be seen

You stiffened up and silently walked back. If one of the other sheeps found out about this whole cult thing you had going on, you'd be ousted and killed by the coyotes instead.

But, you were immediately thrown down and turned over. Your eyes widened in panic and started to attack the person who held you down silently, only to realize that blood was dripping on your face.

"My love, I've killed one of those tainted and unpure coyotes for your sacrifice. I would hate to see your delicate hands get stained with something unworthy of your desire... but why... Why do you yearn and look at someone else with interest other than me? ... Only I shall be your eyes and ears, my love..."

Random and barely edit post after months of not posting. I was watch yt shorts and i came across a video abt guard llamas w sheeps. Its been on my mind for 3 weeks and i started this 2 weeks ago. I only decided now to finish it.

You can see the point where i went fuck it because i had no idea what to do with the reader's background so i was like "Ooh maybe they want to smash the coyotes... what's close to smashing coyotes... Cult." Cult leader YN it is.

Anyways below is for the rest of people who want to know what happened after that incident.

I feel better about my dog's death, but we weren't able to get him back due to the poor weather and the fact he was last seen in a drain. So there wasn't a proper burial, but I'm happy that we didn't end up with 2 losses. We had them since they were puppies, and its upsetting that the younger one died, but i understand why they had to kill him.

He's a dangerous breed of dog even though he's docile most of them time. He was a cane corso, and my older dog is a rottweiler and pitbull mix. So not the most safest dogs to be around, but what are you gonna do when your country is busy locking up a man for money laundering bcs they shit at their jobs.

Right, if I'm not lazy enough, I'll go back and redo every one of my ocs bcs im on the verge of deleting them all from embarrassment. Then that will hopefully be a small week long event for my tumblr as im not used to those things. But this might take months.

Also, no won't do kinktober, im lazy, and smut isn't my forte. Anyways bye-bye, see yall when my coffin feels too stuffy~

(soz if this is shit as well bcs i didn't do a whole lotta explaining abt Lumi's behavior)

[sexhaver]

ive been playing Cassette Beasts for a minute and it never stops being funny to me how flagrant they are about making this "Pokemon but with features you didn't know Pokemon has always needed". off the top of my head:

super effective/NVE hits have added benefits/debuffs beyond just doubling/halving the damage (hitting Electric types with Ground reduces their evasion and speed, hitting Steel types with Poison gives them poison-coated spikes that do contact damage, etc)

legally-distinct-Pokemon will learn new moves while in your party without having to battle, and you can then straight up steal these moves from them and put them on a not-Pokemon you actually care about using, which gives an actual incentive to hunt down and raise otherwise fringe not-mons beyond completing the not-Pokedex

we all played the Pokemon Infinite Fusion fangame right? we know how fusions work? okay so this game has them as temporary per-battle things instead of permanent ones, which is only marginally less cool while being infinitely easier to balance around

attempting to catch something shows you the percentage chance of success so you know whether you just got unlucky or if you should save your Pokeballs-i-mean-blank-cassette-tapes

leveling up is tied to your not-trainer instead of your not-pokemon, so you don't end up in the classic trap where your starter is way overleveled and everything else is underleveled and then you hit a fight your starter can't solo and have to spend an hour grinding to get the weaker not-mons up to par (funnily enough most Pokemon Nuzlocke romhacks have already figured this out and give you infinite rare candies with the only restriction being that you can't level past the next gym leader's ace pokemon, because Pokemon fans have realized that grinding is the worst part of the game way before Game Freak has)

moves, not-Pokeballs, not-PokeCenter visits, and healing items are all bought using entirely separate currencies which stops you from trivially breaking the economy in half

the soundtrack, fittingly, is pretty good! the vocals were a bit much for my taste but there's an option in the settings menu to straight up turn them off (letting the BGM play on its own), which i've never seen in any other game and really appreciate

downsides:

on a game design level, i understand why can i only carry a max of 5 not-Potions and 1 not-Revive at a time - it's to put a limit on how far away from fast travel points i can get by just running away from everything and healing off damage. on a gameplay level, however, this feels pretty bad

the pixel art style is trying to look as much like Pokemon as possible without actually being Pokemon so the overworld sprites look more like beta stuff from Pokemon that they cut for looking too weird. i have yet to find a haircut that doesn't look bad

this is super petty of me but something about the bloom and lighting of the 3d environments combined with pixelated 2d sprites that still cast shadows makes me painfully aware im playing a video game. it's like they were going for the same aesthetic as Octopath Traveler but fell just barely short. i can't think of a better way to articulate this feeling but if you know you know

it does that really obnoxious half-assed style of voice acting where plot-relevant characters will sometimes (maybe every third or fourth textbox) speak the first two or three words of dialogue before trailing off. mashing through textboxes (as one does) means constantly getting jumpscared by "hmm"s and "haha!"s "okay then!"s

i get that they wanted to make the player feel involved in the story, and it has a pretty decent hook so far, but oh my god. the amount of dialogue "choices" that just transparently do not matter. you know how people memed on Fallout 3 and 4's dialogue choices all leading to the same outcome, to the extent that you were basically choosing between "yes" and "yes (rude)"? and you know how Bethesda would at least attempt to justify how both options led to you accepting the quest anyways, even if it was really dumb? Cassette Beasts has streamlined this process even further by making the options in most of their binary decisions so identical that they don't even require different followup dailogue before rejoining into the main conversation thread. a solid 2/3rds of the dialogue options in this game so far feel like checks that you're still awake. i know this is a minor issue because people aren't playing Pokemon-likes for the engaging "choices matter" approach to storytelling, and i did ignore it at first, but it's so pervasive that you really can't ignore it

[sanshoney]

older brother & male!child!reader

reader is 10, older brother is 18

no plot, just fluff

shout out to boys who never wanted siblings, only an older brother

(intentional lowercase, no use of y/n)

– to be honest, having dead parents is a burden alone. but also having a little brother you have to take care of now? yeah, noah knows it all too well.

– seriously, he can barely take care of himself. he barely graduated! and he can't even live alone because of his stupid brother. things aren't the best right now for him.

– of course, you're not the one at fault here. you didn't want your parents dead, right? besides, you had never been particularly too close with your older brother. maybe it's the big age gap or maybe it's his unbearable personality. or the combination of both.

– if he were a bit kinder to you, everything would be just fine. he never touches you and rarely talks to you. there are times you don't see him for days. you find yourself missing your father's warm embrace and loving words.

– still, you try so hard to get his attention. you ask him about his day everytime he arrives home. for your efforts, you get a short 'boring' from noah and moments later he's off to his room.

– you know it's hard for him. being an adult must be hard... especially in his case. you appreciate everything he does for you, from working to cooking dinner. you always say "thank you, big brother!" with a wide smile on your face, hugging his waist. you're a well-mannered boy, after all. he usually groans and pats your head awkwardly, muttering a quiet "whatever."

you decide he's not good with words or touch or... well, you decide to draw your affection for him! you work on the drawing for an hour, wanting it to be absolutely perfect. your final product on the paper is quite good! the sun is shining on the left upper corner, the grass is a pretty green and the clouds are blue. in the middle, there are two people: a short and a tall one. the short one is you, wearing a blue t-shirt and green shorts. you're holding the hand of the taller figure, who is noah! he's wearing a red tee (you found out red is his favorite colour!) with grey pants. a happy smile is plastered on both of the boys' faces.

you grab the paper satisfied, ready to give it to your brother. you sprint to his room, knocking loudly. a muffled "come in" can be heard, so you hurriedly open the door. you stand in front of him, hiding the paper behind your back. "big brother, i have a surprise for you!" you announce, almost bouncing from exhilaration. he looks up from his phone and waits for you to continue. you reveal the paper and place it on his bed. he looks down confused and lifts up the paper. hes looking at it, scrutinizing it and... his lips curve into a faint smile. "why did you make this?" you can tell by his tone that he's a bit flattered. "i thought you'd like it... thank you for everything you do for me!" you smile at him innocently, really hoping this will change something in him.

– ever since that day, something truly had changed. whenever you ask him about his day, he says more than one word and he even asks you the same question! when you hug him, he runs his hand through your hair. you always lean happily into his touch and smile, which makes him smile.

– recently, you started hanging out in his room. usually, he's showing you photos he took. you learnt hes working as a photographer, which is pretty cool in your opinion.

– sometimes, he gestures for you to go closer to him. he wraps his arms around you and rubs your back slowly. "little brother, y'know it's just us, right? im sorry for being distant. it's... hard. but thank you for being understanding and patient. i appreciate it." you nod and hug him back.

– in the end, all that matters is that you are always there for each other. maybe the harsh reality of the everydays can lose their sharpness a little in each other's arms.

hope you enjoyed!! ♡

what do you think about him? :3

[yinorathedragontamer]

HIII BABES i saw u write for spn so here's a req if ur willing !!

can i have a sam x genderfluid reader (or nonbinary is fine !) where reader saves sam from a monster attack and ends up tagging along w him and dean, during which sam kind of follows them around and admires them a lot ??

thanksss xx and hope ur enjoying the show

a/n: SURE THING BABE!! im actually so excited because this is my very first supernatural request, so thats really cool! i love the username btw, and the banner thing on your profile, really mixing my hyperfixations there! (dead boy detectives + supernatural) if you want another part, or another prompt whatsoever just request!

pairing: Sam Winchester x genderfluid!hunter!reader, platonic!Dean Winchester x reader, set with season 2 in mind (Dean doesn't have a deal yet)

note: i am not personally genderfluid, so im sorry if there are any inaccuracies, i tried my best with the knowledge i have. reader rides a purple motorcycle, Dean and reader are little shits to eachother but we love it here. reader is a badass because i said so. reader knows about Dean and Sam because of Bobby. reader is mentioned to wear eyeliner once. reader likes metallica (same)

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it started with a simple case, it was a quick vamp nest, in and out.

what they hadn't thought of, was the fact that maybe, maybe, the kind woman who was hitting on both of them at the bar at an ungodly hour might've been a vamp too, and perhaps wanted to get rid of them, keep them away from her oh-so-lovely nest.

so here they are, tied up, gagged with a cloth, vamps practically circling them.

Sam could count 4 in sight, and atleast three taking naps a few feet away.

while Sam racks his mind for a solution, Dean can't help but shoot a wink to the vampire who hit on them at the bar a few hours ago, trying to act as chill as he can.

suddenly, all four of the circling vampires look up at the sound of a motercycle, and before they know it one comes crashing through the wooden wall, a guy with a helmet, you, being on top of it.

you jump off the motorcycle, letting it crash right into two vampires and lodging them against the opposite wall while you take out your machete, slashing at the other two, cutting their heads off with great skill.

next, the three napping vampires wake up, and immediately fling themselves at you.

you avoid them, dodging as if its a walk in the park, and cut off their head too.

for a second, you forget about the last two vamps, who are now free from your motorcycle, and charging at you.

one of them manages to knick your arm, leaving a small cut, and the other just completely misses, her leg having been crushed from the crash.

you handle them both pretty well, slashing at them and effectively killing them.

you take off your helmet, letting out a relieved sigh.

"damn, it better not be broken too bad" you mumble as you walk over and set your motorcycle upright again.

you hear muffled... something, coming from one of the guys tied to the pole, and see them both looking at you.

"oh, right, people" you mumble, taking a few long strides to get to them, first removing the cloth from their mouth and then the rope from their hands.

"you two good?" you ask, helping them up.

"how the fuck did you do that?" the shorter one asks, running a hand through his short hair.

"lets see, training, training, practice, did i mention training?" you say sarcastically, earning a chuckle from the tall one.

"hey, that was pretty cool, im taking it you're a hunter? we are too, im Sam and this is my brother Dean" he says with a smile, it reminds you of a golden retriever.

"wait, your last name doesn't happen to be Winchester, right?" you reply with a small smile of your own.

"its nice to meet you, i'm [name], i heard of you two from Bobby"

"well, your motorcycle seems pretty fucked, one of its tires is going empty and there's a piece hanging loose" Dean comments, dusting off his hands.

"oh for fuck's sake, i just got it fixed!" you groan in annoyance.

"oh, you can tag along with us if you want, we got a motel nearby" Sam offers sweetly, earning an elbow in the ribs from Dean.

"thanks, but i'm good, i got a motel room nearby too, infact, it wouldn't surprise me if we got the same one. Sunshine's Seashell Motel?" Sam looks surprised, Dean just looks annoyed.

"right, great, we'll see you tomorrow, maybe" Dean comments, before grabbing Sam's arm and practically dragging him away.

you smile to yourself, shaking your head before walking out aswell, going back to the motel.

the next morning, you put on a tanktop and some comfy jeans, matched with a flannel. you walk out, hair loose and some eyeliner on.

you walk out front to bring back your key, a duffelbag over your shoulder. you thank the worker behind the desk, and hear mumbling behind you.

you turn to the sound, and see Sam and Dean standing there, Dean making a face while Sam seems to talk wide eyed.

"im telling you Dean, that's the guy who saved our asses last night!"

"bullshit! thats just some girl in a flannel who looks like him, im sure of it!"

you smile, and decide to walk over to them. "hey boys! rested up from the whole thing yesterday?" you can't help but grin at Dean's flabbergasted face.

"im sorry, but i could swear you were a guy last night" Dean says, looking very confused.

"i was" you say cassually, walking along with them as they exit the motel and walk to their car, which you can't help but admire.

"what?" Dean looks even more confused, and Sam speaks up.

"genderfluid, Dean, she's genderfluid" Sam looks almost interested in you, but you shrug it off for admiration or something.

"atleast, i think thats it, right?" you nod, coming to a stop as Dean just shakes his head in disbelief and gets into the drivers seat, dumping his bag in the back, and Sam is about to go into the passengers seat before he looks at you.

"you wanna come with us? we're going to Bobby's, and im guessing your motorcycle isnt in a driving state." he smiles kindly at you, and you can swear he checks you out with his eyes before you shake it off.

"yeah, that'd be great, actually, thanks" you get in the back of the car, a grumbled scoff coming from Dean.

the moment he turns on the car, metallica 'sad but true' comes blasting throught the speakers, and you bob your head along the beat.

"ah, i see you actually have style! you know what, you can drive with us whenever you want" Dean says with a shit eating grin, earning and eyeroll from Sam.

"right, so she likes your music, and suddenly its all fine?" he scoffs and looks out of the window.

you can't stop the fluttering feeling in your chest.

maybe, for once, hunting can bring you something good, something better than just saving people.

maybe it can bring you your best ally you'll ever gain.

maybe it'll grant you a lover.

little do you know, that Sam is looking at you through the mirror, admiration apparent in his gaze, and he looks away again. he looks at Dean, who gives him a knowing look.

his brother is down bad already.

[scentednuttragedy]

A Love Like No Other

Leon S. Kennedy X Reader

P.S. : Reader is like a Spy/Agent who's working on their own and stealing/destroying virus sample before bad people gets to them. (basically idk there's like many plot holes when it comes to the readers profession) This is like my first fanfic writing so please don't judge me<3 thank you<3

Leon S. Kennedy, The man that everyone knew as President's Golden Boy. Everyone questioned if he had a lover, his friends thought Ada was the one for him but no. Ada may have been a part of him but his heart, soul, mind and every inch of him was with someone else…. His secret lover and his dirty little secret

The first time you had met him was when you had rescued Leon from a zombie back at Raccoon City Police Department. You were not police, you didnt work for anyone. You were in a league of your own wanting to help people even if it meant being criminal in everyones eyes. He didnt trust you at first but your goals were same, what you did was for the greater good and he respected that maybe admired you too for being so cool and badass but he didnt wanna admit it right in front of you.

He remembers it very well, when you gave him your lucky pendant which was given to you by your family as a protection charm. He knew you cared and he did too but both were too stuborn to admit it.

Leon remembers you taking a shot for him as you laid unconscious in his arms, he was terrified. How could someone he met for such a short amount of time make him feel this way… he was scared to lose you. He remembers the feeling of your lips against his when you opened you eyes and asked him if he was ok, even when you were the one hurt, he had made sure to put every thanks and care into that kiss. Oh how he wishes he could experience it all again, kissing you for the first time.

When Ada had kissed him suddenly in that elevator, He felt so guilty as he glanced at you apologetically. All he had and still has in his heart is you and you only. And when you had kissed him goodbye promising him that you will meet him again, he had looked forward to that day. He remembers all of those little adventures, letting each other know about missions so you both can go together. You both were unrivaled, fierce and so in love. You were his other half and without it he knew he would fall apart.

Leon was a stoic and reserved man and only you knew under all his demeanor he was just a lovestruck puppy.... only for you. He hated the cat and mouse chase, it took so much energy and time of his but you. You didn't make him chase you, you were genuine and you weren't afraid to love. And how could anyone deny the way you both looked at each other? as if there was more to your relationship than what it looked like at the surface.

All those missions you both went on, all those things you did for each other, All the times you almost died for each other, how could he ever forget that? No matter how far apart you both were, you always came back together in the darkest of nights. He was grateful for having you and he made sure to prove it to you every night. All the desperation and unspoken words shown through actions only lovers could do. He was just a man after all…. He loved being with you and feeling like home.

He remembers when in Spain you came to rescue and assist him. that very second he knew he was gonna make it out alive. He remembers when Ada had appeared, making him question his love for you but he knew better, you were better. The smirk on Ada's face when he had rejected her offer to go with her just for you, he remembers it all too well. That was the moment Ada had known where his heart lied, and it was with you. You were His and He was Yours.

Thank you guys<3 im scared its not as good T_T

[keen-li]

HOLAGE |

Synopsis: a tale of a very yendere jungkook

Warnings: mentions of blood, tying up, mentions of cuts, a blade, wound. Reader is kinda babyfied. Possessive jk. [Let me know if I Let something out]

Jk x fem reader.

#Maybe there's a dead dove that you don't wanna eat.

18+. Minors dni

"Now you see if didn't try to run away i wouldn't have to do this"

The man behind you scrubbing your body with a cloth says. His tone very light diminishing all dominance you thought you had.

The warm water falls on your skin lightly but with the way your heart is racing each drop feels like a slap on the skin. You'd think warm water would make you feel relaxed but it doesn't.

And the fact that jungkook has you sandwiched between his naked wet body and the shower wall doesn't help. He doesn't do anything suggestive he only repeatedly rubs the foam drenched cloth around your body, making sure to get off the dried blood on you. Not your own blood but of the man who tried to help you by giving you a lift.

Jungkook never understood why people wanted to take you from him. Well he kinda knew why. You were perfect, the immaculate depiction of the woman in his heart and fantasies. He's dreamt and thought of you everyday, there's no time when you aren't on his mind. And he believed people knew that that's why they'd try to take you from him, but he'll never let that happen. Never in his fully woken self, even in his sleep he can find you.

You can hear his breaths become heavier as he runs the cloth against your breasts then your nipples and runs it down your stomach. He's movements are slow and gentle, if it weren't for your racing heart and the situation you'd be aroused. Jungkook never really pushed the idea of sleeping with you though you could see him here and there struggling with his own body for control. You knew he thought about you that way, you could tell. Especially when you'd see his bulge peaking from his sweat pants as he tucked you into bed after your shower.

Today was no different you could see his bulge through his dark pants as the water rinses your body. He always kept his trousers on when he helped you shower even though you're sure it was uncomfortable for him, you guess it's for self control. You're glad though.

"Why do you always run away like I'm a bad person." He says your bodies facing each other as he dries your hair with a towel. You stand still like a mannequin, not knowing what to do in this situation.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" His eyes are bright and large as he looks down at you and you up at him. You look away trying to avoid his delicate and innocent gaze. It's a facade and you know it, this man was far from delicate and innocent. Even though sometimes he can act to be, you knew better than to fall for it.

He uses his thump and index finger to trap your chin and pull your attention to him.

"Do you think I'm a bad person baby" he asks expecting an answer and his eyes demand one too. You know he doesn't like being ignored. You're already on his bad side for trying to run away, so it'd be best if you just played along.

You shake your head giving him your answer but by the look on his face he's not satisfied by your answer.

"N-no I don't think you're a bad person" you say timidly. He liked it when you were timid.

"I'm glad that you think that" he says brushing your hair.

"But why do you always act like im a bad person." he brushes

"Why do you run away huh?" He brushes a little harder and you can feel and hear him get angry.

"When all I do is take care of you and give you all you want" he brushes harder again and you want to do something cause he might end up ripping your hair from your scalp, wouldn't be the first time removing your hair. One time when you tried to ran away he cut your hair to teach you a lesson. It's been a year since then and your hair has grown from the short length.

His eyes focus on the brush as he continues to list the things he's done for you and all you think about is a way to cool his brewing anger.

Validation.

"I know and appreciate what you do for me" you place your hand on his chest as you spill lies from your mouth.

"Your actually the reason why I'm still alive" though jungkook can tell when you're playing with him he decides not to acknowledge it.

"Then why do you ran away"

"I'm just silly jungkook. You know that. Sometimes I do things without thinking" you look in his eyes and he must be buying it.

"I just wanna go out sometimes. You know" You say playing with the locks of his hair.

"You know I wanna take you outside." He runs his hand in your hair.

"But you're such a bad girl that I can't do that" he says as you feel his demeanour shift, not longer gentle and delicate.

"And you know what happens next"

"I'm sorry babe" you try to use a pet name to soothe him but it doesn't work. You know what he means and tears fill your eyes as you think of it.

"I'm really sorry" you whine tears falling from your eyes as you try to plead your case.

"Its too late for sorrys now" his eyes glare at you and you can feel the darkness and cold pool from them and his aura.

Your heart begins to pound against your chest, you're afraid your chest might rip open. Jungkook begins to pull you to your bedroom and you try to stop him from taking you there, little 'I'm sorrys' leave your mouth that's now collecting your tears. But he doesn't listen he continues to drag you to your room.

"No dinner for you today" he says coldly, eyes on the ground he's dragging you on. You'd even forgotten how hungry you were because of the fear you were feeling.

Even though it was your room, it wasn't good when jungkook took you there. He'd always let you sleep in his room on his white and comfy bed. He'd always let you sleep there. The only time he took you to your own room to sleep was to punish you. The room itself isn't bad but it's not as good as jungkook's.

The thoughts of what he's gonna do to you and has done to you in this room make your weeping louder. Jungkook never liked seeing you cry, well sometimes, but he had to do what needs to be done to teach you the lesson you never seem to learn.

"Jungkook I'm sorry... I'll listen this time" you yell, mucous now filling your throat. You gag feeling like you wanna puke.

"I-i-i pr-promise I'll listen this time please, I'm sorry I'll never do it again" you plead but it's like he can't hear. He actually can and it hurts him but those feelings are pushed aside. He needs you to be a good girl and if this is the only way so be it.

He steps back and stretches after tying your hands behind your back. He didn't gag you cause he wants to hear your screams and pleads. Your legs are untied and he knew you knew better than to kick him or struggle.

"Why do you have to be so bad" he says hovering over your shaking body. You were sweating from fear, your entire body moist. He stares at the little 'hello kitty' panties you're wearing. He knew you'd look great in them when he bought them.

He chuckles.

Turning around to go to the little drawer you'd never liked to see him approach. You hear the drawer open and the clanking of metals together and your wailing grows louder.

"Jungkook please"

"The audacity you have to even call me by my name" you hear him scoff as the drawer is closed and he approaches you.

You almost lose your breath when you see the blade in his hands. It's become so familiar to you, you know every pattern and design on it by heart and mind. He'd always do this when you misbehaved but especially when you tried to ran away.

You shake intensely when he squats in front of you and spreads your thighs revealing the other 3 wounds you got when you tried to ran away.

"D-da-" You want to say it but its so hard. Maybe if he hears you call him that he'll take it easy on you.

"Oh look at these" he says tracing his fingertips over the 3 soon to be 4 scars on your thighs, when he does this the pain you felt from them resurfaces. You can hear him laugh at the memory.

"Daddy please I'm sorry" you finally say it bit it doesn't change his mind. He simply sighs at the name, he loved when you called him that but you only did when you were in this kind of situation trying to escape his wrath.

"I'll never ran away again" you've said that many times, "I mean it this time" and that too.

"Daddy plea-"

"Why don't you ever just want to be a good girl...my good girl" he seems low his voice not so aggressive, but it still makes you scared.

"I'll be a good girl, I promise" you continue to plead trying to lift yourself up and find his eyes.

"Shut up" he yells shutting you up. But you can't shut your sobs up.

"I don't like doing this you know." He spreads your legs wider and he tries his best to not stare at your core.

"All I want is for you to be a good girl..." he says gliding the blade against your skin and you continue to cry.

"...my good girl..." he pokes the blade againt your skin as your skin tears.

"...a good girl...for me" he finishes saying as the blades begins to drag against your skin, lining the mark with the others. Its like he's counting tallies. Immediately a line of blood follows. You scream and he smiles as he watches the liquid follow the blade.

"You just don't like to listen huh?" He says finally stopping his movements.

"I just want you to know I'll never stop until you learn... I'm never giving up on you Y/N"

[flemlem]

okay so. warning, this is Long (for me anyway) and kind of unfinished? unpolished? its 1am and i am having Thoughts.

Little analysis of qTubbo and Morning Crew because ive been seeing a lotta opinions and I wish to add My Own into the Melting Pot.(I may get off track, im sorry, im incoherent at all times, thats why my posts are so short.)(also all characters just in case)

So first of all, Im putting it out there. Fit and Pac still care about Tubbo. From an outside view, from the audience, we can clearly see that. Unfortunately for us, Tubbo is infact not acting with the same knowledge in mind.

As far as Tubbo is aware they are going to move on without him. They have eachother now they dont need him anymore

With him and Fits relationship We can see that the jokes are banter and just silly, even if ill timed, but how was fit supposed to know that. We see this moment kinda throw tubbo back into 'I have to be worth something, because why would anyone Actually want to team with me if i cant give them something, if I cant make up for being Me '. He starts being more reckless about wanting create back, not really caring to try get out of the cage, even though he probably could of glitch blocked up there at the start.

Ive also seen people mention the fact that Fit 'told him he was family'. Now please genuinely correct me if im wrong. Fit only told Sunny she was family("Youre family"). Sure, he was Right There, but we know that tubbo sees Sunny as more important than him, its totally plausible that Tubbo thought that that wouldn't include him. Its never specified that that was directed at more than just Sunny (out loud), Tubbo also didn't know what sunny wrote (as far as im aware).

I had a whole paragraph on Pac too but it got too messy to salvage, maybe another day.

Tubbo has always been slightly weird about his place in Morning Crew, especially since it started "becoming an isocoles triangle". Im not sure if im more on the side of hes trying to push them away before they get the chance to to save himself the heartache, or if he's trying to show them how much they need him like a 'look at how weird it is when im not there At All. Look at my Cool Town with Foolish and Not you. Please need me still'.

Im Most on the side of him distancing himself, not to save himself the pain(maybe still slightly), not to try get them to come Get Him Back, but to almost hint at them that they Can move away from him. Trying to show them that he does have Other People they dont Need to be around him if they dont want to. The thing about this that isnt working is that Fit and Pac Do still want to be around him.

TLDR: Fit and Pac still care, but no matter how obvious, q!tubbo is mentally ill and has convinced himself that since they got together he is becoming Less and Less important, only catastrophising further at each thing that could be taken as cold even when theyre not.

[k-tarotz]

https://www.tumblr.com/k-tarotz/748310935714791424/hello-can-u-do-theo-p1harmony-ideal-type-tysm?source=share thank u for the reading! now i wonder if he's an old soul cause the reading is very wise?🤔 can u describe his energy during your reading? like is he easy to read/very open or maybe the opposite etc? also im so excited for the next reading again thank u!!!

Theo’s Ideal Type;

appearance

DISCLAIMER tarot is a form of entertainment, not a set in stone truth. please read this with a light heart, don’t take it too seriously. whether you fit these or not, you are pretty.

his energy… is pretty shy, but also honest. his higher-self didn’t back away from telling me his preferences. it’s almost as if he aimed to perplex me, in a playful way. pretty playful guy.

nine of cups, the emperor, knight of swords

tanned skin - everybody has a preference for skin tones and he might prefer tanned skin. sun kissed, a deep shade of beige. (completely unrelated, he might also think freckles are cute.) regardless, he also thinks pale skin is pretty, but if it’s harmonious with the rest of xyz features. (for example he might like light hair on paler people. not necessarily blond, I am getting more of a white or brightly coloured one with red/orange in a pastel way. just something unique.)

long hair - he doesn’t really care too much, he just prefers it both on himself and his partner. no specific length, anything below your shoulders is probably long for him already. even if his s/o or crush has short hair he doesn’t really care much.

pretty hands - came through really strong, for whatever reason. he prefers ones that look elegant? clean, neat and well looked after. he doesn’t expect anything to have a routine, he just likes pretty hands.

shorter than him - like around 160 - 168 is the ideal in his eyes? that’s just a guess from the vision I got though. he would prefer a shorter s/o due to him finding it cute and an easier opportunity to playfully tease.

dark colours - darker hair, darker eyes, darker clothing style. it’s a natural attraction. he seems more attracted to people with a little bit of diversity but still feels more comfortable with a darker “pallet” if that makes sense. say someone who often wears black clothes but they still have colourful ones. it’s hard to explain, because he doesn’t really care so he doesn’t really think about it. it’s just there.

feminine and masculine - someone with balanced feminine and masculine energies. not in a forced kind of way though, just one that comes to him naturally. for example if he is attracted to men then he likes masculine guys who paint their nails, but not black to seem cool and get flirting points but because they genuinely enjoy it. if he likes girls then girls who can dress up cute, have make up on but also know when to lay back at home and just allow themselves to be messy? have messy hair, pjs on while doing whatever. I don’t know his sexuality and I won’t assume because it’s neither mine or anyone else’s business, my point is he likes the diversity in movements and behaviour. the way a person carries themselves. to him that has a lot to do with how one appears. (might be true for personality as well, he doesn’t seem to like people that lack depth.)

naturally inviting - as in, energy wise. someone you look at and know that they won’t judge you. that they are friendly and accepting of people. he mainly wants someone like this because he could enjoy cuddling and being close to people. so, someone that is nice to cuddle. (he might also think some people are more comfortable to cuddle than others.)

smells good - smells have a lot to do with how one is perceived looks wise! for him, he prefers someone who smells good due to naturally viewing them as someone who takes care of themselves and their appearance. his favourite might be baby powder & soap (reminds him of xyz being freshly showered) and/or floral scented fragrances.

thank you for reading!~

- C

[definitelynotshouting]

Okay, so, question I've had for a while but never got around to asking, what the FUCK is up with Grian's wings?

If all physical differences in players (like those particularly ascribed to 'Hybrids' in mcyt fanon) in Hunger AU are a result of conscious altering of your own code for the express purpose of achieving YOUR IDEAL BODY(tm) then what does that mean for Grian and his wings? No one seems to regard Grian's wings as "What The Fuck, You Can DO That?!?" so presumably wings aren't so big of a change from normal biology that players can't do that. If so, why is it not more common? Man, if I could have wings I'd jump on that in seconds. Especially with the sheer utility the ability to fucking FLY gives players. Are wings (and maybe other larger alterations) just like, REALLY HARD to code in? If so, that might add a really cool layer of "Oh wow! They must be a really good coder!" to players who meet people like that.

On a related note, Grian seems to have a positive regard for his wings, which is interesting because I would be willing to bet he didn't have that before *insert sounds of worm-bursting and non-consensual body modification*. I imagine seeing his wings would likely feel like a reminder of the Watchers and what they did to him. BUT, Watchers manipulate their own code when they change like Grian did to, y'know, not be a worm anymore so Grian probably specifically chose how he looked, right? So, unless he did so really rushed and somehow made a mistake while doing so (which he might not be able to risk the structural damage of correcting), keeping the wings was a conscious decision. Does Grian just not associate his wings with the Watchers or is it something else? Does he just really enjoy having wings?

HELLO I AM SO GLAD YOU'VE ASKED THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ‼️‼️‼️‼️ MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Okay okay so these are all SUCH valid questions, lemme go through them one by one. Wings are indeed something anyone could have if they wanted to code them in-- and in fact, i do believe many other Players have wings throughout the universe!!! As far as body mods go, i like to think of them as decently popular, so its definitely not anything too weird to see. In chapter 5, i even make a mention to Pearl having moth wings she occasionally codes in due to preference!!! So wings of many different types are definitely available-- but the catch is that they're real fiddly to code. You cant just give yourself wings, you have to code in the bone structure, the muscles, the tendons, etc etc, and then you have to change your entire body structure as well to work with and fully support them. They can be awkward and unwieldy, as ive tried to show in the fic itself, and i think that alone can be a big discouragement for Players considering coding in wings, along with the sheer coding effort needed to obtain them and make them functional

And the thing is, elytra already exist-- they're far more compact, they dont take up as much space, you can take them on and off super easily without having to mess with your coding, and they basically do the same thing. Sure, its a pain to get one, but a lot of Players really enjoy the sense of accomplishment, and i think theres a bit of cultural prestige too in that regard. Server milestones are a huge thing in Player culture, and getting your first pair of elytra is a big one!!! So it makes sense to me that people who just dont want to go through the effort of coding in wings (which can then in turn complicate how they code other future modifications) primarily stick to elytra.

And everybody is different-- some people prefer attributes that arent wings. I like to think everyone in hermitcraft generally is a mix of "jeez thats effort, i could be building my base instead of doing that" and "eh im fine how i am, i like it" and "well we have elytra shops everywhere so why bother".

So in short, yeah!! Wings are a bit complex to code in. They're still pretty popular, i think plenty of Players do choose to incorporate them, but it takes a lot of hard and thorough work to make sure they function right and wont bug you out when you use them. There are billions of Players scattered across the universe, so what you're seeing in the fic right now is truly just a drop in the ocean when it comes to Player body diversity :] and then, elytra basically already help Players achieve a form of flight without the hassle of recoding their entire body structure, so i think the majority of Players just prefer to use them instead.

AS FOR GRIAN'S WINGS IN PARTICULAR......

Well..... its complicated. Particularly his feelings about them-- in the fic, i referenced them as the only good thing the Watchers ever gave him, and thats how he sees it, i think: a thin silver lining. He's had many, many years to get used to them, and i think he goes through periods where he hates them and the memories attached, too. Ultimately, he's kinda stuck with them, so i think he hit a form of acceptance (as bitter-tinged as it may be) out of sheer necessity for his own sanity.

As for why he has them, and hasnt coded them out: i think of it as a particular quirk of biology/structural coding. Watchers have a more instinctive way of coding than Players, but a Player-minded Watcher is still going to think like a Player, and thats going to muddle things a lot. Grian essentially had to relearn how to code, in a way that satisfied both Player and Watcher-style coding, and the results at first were.... a little rough around the edges. Once he managed to finally take on his original former appearance, the wings from his true form just kind of.... stuck. I like to think it took a few increasingly desperate tries before he realized he just could not figure out how to get rid of them (bc of how different his new code was), and had to accept that this was just how he was gonna have to live for a while until he finally figured it out. And then, well.... you can get used to anything, if you're stuck with it long enough. I think after a while it just stopped being a huge priority, and then he reached a point where it would be more awkward to live without them than with them, and he eventually dropped the idea altogether. And i think sometimes, they function almost like a scar, to him-- a reminder of what he went through, yes, but a reminder that he did manage to escape. And, ofc, he also just really, really likes flying skdjskdjdj

So yeah, loads of complicated feelings there about his wings, and its stuff i do plan on exploring later in the fic!!! This got a little rambly, but i hope this makes sense and answers your questions!!!! :D its a fun little complicated knot that im glad someone has gotten curious enough to ask about!!!!

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.

[sotogalmo]

hi soto ! i hope your fine with me calling you that, but if not, sorry ! !

i just wanted to ask, which alnst ocs do you think flor would get along with in general ?

Oh Im fine with any names !! So I don't mind what you call me!! (I have lots and lots of names,,, soto, Itzusumi, Amy, Audrey, Kellie, Garrett, Satan, Kit/Kitsunami, etc)

Ooughh. Toughie toughie.

Maybe your OC? They seem very-very similar (to me that is tho). Like Siamese twin cats (tho she already has a twin)! Tho Flor would be more of a talker out of the both of them??? imo that is, but who knows- she makes a lot of sounds due to boredom <- random fact. She rlly likes hanging out with Auri: stress relief time!

Solei ( @shakingparadigm ) . Flor is so so fascinated by their knowledge of "animals". What's that called?? Why do they have that,, weird thing?? What's their powers??? What can they eat?? 'Bugs'?? What's that? . Flor is just. So amazed by their knowledge,,, would honestly ask what animal Solei thinks she is. No need to answer! Just a curious gal. Is so amazed by how some of the animals are fuzzy looking. Gets the itch to touch the page (she does it either way). maybe she asks some very weird questions of how the animals taste, but she was raised by an alien that likes food and likes making food. So can ya really blame her with her fascination for food??? Food<3

Khoi ( @junebluues ) . Flor is,, Flor would like to hang out with him! Maybe like. Help with some lyrics?? She writes poems from time to time, and that helps her with making some good songs (real example(s) are of my og song I did not too long ago!)

Lang ( @pwippy ) . Loves her hair. If Lang doesn't mind Flor would love to brush her hair! The black and white is so pretty and cool looking. Lang likes breaking things??? Flor joins in on the chaos!!! Only when her emotions get the best of her, she goes to join Lang and her common breaking things habit. It's really nice to let off some steam (no she's not crying)

Toon ( @nottoonedin ) . Loves her hair x2. Gets the biggest BIGGEST urge to brush it ,,,,, it looks like those "lion's" "manes" that Solei would talk to her about !!!! So prettyb. . ... What if she just shrinks enough to lay in Toon's hair... Small ittybbitty kitty in lion mane....

Stasya ( @billwasnot ) . Flor finds it very comforting that they take a big sibling role (Flor is 17!) ,,, reminds them of her own siblings. So she's very attached to Stas (even gives them a nickname!). Flor likes being round Sta, quiet time! Kinda like how she is with Auri tbh. Just on a more,,,, nicerr??? Scale???? I dunno how to explain it well,,,

Rose ( @rosedeleca ) . Loves their hair x3. Good Lord she's pretty as hell. Flor would just be such a common silent admirer of Rose. If she remembers the name and what it(a flower) looks like (her guardian is also very interested in plants. Not a big fan of animals), she would say “nomen nihil est nisi decorum! (The name is nothing but beautiful!)” (her guardian teaches her in Latin & Latin based languages). Hides behind Rose for fun!

Man. Sorry if some of these are really short (I dunno bout other ocs or if people wanna be tagged here,,, so this is all I have for now -!!) or honestly really predictable-

[dykevotions]

what's the buntom lore I've seen u post abt it a lot and I'm curious

HI. HELLO. WHATS UP . i be keeping this shit Short and Compact. Trust me

here are summaries of friday league and saturday league of beastlife. aswell as my beastlife guide post . neither of the summaries include the most recent season which. is the one buntoms in. but yknow. you win some you lose some.

SO. BUNTOM. WHATS HER FUCKIN DEAL !??!?!

feat. mild spoilers* for beasts, and . decently wordy! *some of you know already, but im trying to film a cool video about it and edit it tonight alright... .

SO. buntom is a animal crossing inspired cartoon character, who is an mctom (my cubito ocs) who only speaks in animalese and tomlang! now you might be asking. what the fuck is tomlang. as you should be. Ask all the questions ever.

Tomlang is a conlang I(1) made, based entirely off of symbols on a standard english keyboard. pretty + right?

link to the tomlang guide. not required reading, but its pretty short, and < think its pretty cool.

now if you read it (which. again. not required!) you'll have seen.... this

now this is not Andromeda(2) but is LUNATIC !! I LOVE LUNATIC TSHIRT THAT SAYS I LOVE LUNATIC (this is about buntom i swear. this will make sense)

lunatic (atleast this specific one!(3)) preforms hexes to be less than a pixel tall and understand buntoms thoughts. lunatic is the only person that has ever understood buntom, and nobody knows he exists.

insert comics . Yeah

so buntom exists with lunatic for a bit of time. not a while, but they just chill in the forest.

then buntom gets pulled into a death game (with a skyblock gimmick this season! how fun!) , with lunatic alongside her. this is where 🎈s #story really starts

to summarise everything to happen to buntom throughout the season (saturday leauge s4, plus a guest visit to friday leauge s3) : she is dehumanised , treated as an animal or uncontrollable/feral by multiple other teams, downright called his teams PET by someone (hi sonicmike. hows your day . ) and destroys shit and kills people over it. as you do. and also helps build a giant network of paths in the sky (skynet) which are burnt down (he rebuilds them) (wtf sonicmike)

he gets mixed up with sheeptom (the other mctom in beastlife) after they go to a wedding on applecraft (another server. hard to explain) and deals with new people who are.... nice to xem for the most part? And treat er like a person? he has to bury one of them. besides that, it was good for him. she likes the people in friday league.

and then ves back. and he wakes up at her teammates grave. with more time(4) and signs from sheeptom telling her that it was sorry that they had to do it. and that their teammates love them. there's a funeral for someone else. hardly anyone honors space for dying too. he resents them for this.

the only teammate he has around at this time, is echidna. and echidna is walking away from where they live, so fuck it. and he follows. and theyre in the middle of nowhere together, far above the others. and hes safe for a while there. they both have a few hours till they die, but its peaceful.

they shouldve broken the path to where they were. practically the entire server comes to find them and hunt them down. they spawn kill them. they barely escape. they go back to their old base. they get found. echidna runs out of time. buntom dies, but still has time. he hides. she goes to the nether. tom covers the portal in lava. xey trap themself in the nether for the last hour(ish) heart has to live.

he resents herself for this. xey cut their dyed parts of hair off (they liked their dyed hair. it was her favorite part of how he looked, but it made him not fit in. if only he was like the others, then maybe they wouldnt have hated him. maybe then echidna mightve been alive.) and play tic tac toe with lunatic. over and over. and over and over.

and its the last session

and you have 24 minutes left to live

and you play tic tac toe

over and over

and over and over

and you admit that you're scared to die (this isnt the first time you've told lunatic this. you did it when you first hid.)

and you make your own grave (and lunatic, you are buried together.)

and you make echidna a grave

and you play tic tac toe (your move!)

and you have 10 seconds

and you look at how you hid from the world

and you die

and you're coming back next season! but in the meantime, shes in hell :D ! all mctoms get their own personalized hell, and buntoms is made for two! buntom has lunatic ignoring and not listening to xer, and not moving, and is so scared that his best friend is like the others. that she really is what everyone else thinks of him. that this is how it was always going to end. and lunatic just has to stand there! and cant talk, or move, or communicate at all. horrible world for autistic people

thats . basically it. Yeah . i think that covers most of my bases . buntoms also canonically aroace and autistic. so . Win!

footnotes :

1: okay my brother helped a bunch and so its like. partially him aswell

2: echidnas friday leauge character! her name does that when he tries to say it.

3: see. worldhoppers vs worldbounds. except lunatic is a seperate third thing. theres multiple lunatics out there thats all u need to knoww

4: limited life gimmick. u know the deal

[haptronym]

(Im sorry for so many questions) Between Toshinori and Izuku, if one or the other died, who do you think would take it worse? And who do you think would handle the aftermath better? How do you think each of them would react to witnessing it/finding out?

What an interesting question!

There is the obvious answer that, if Toshinori died, Izuku would instantly get a Force Ghost version of him in his head to chat with forever and ever. He wouldn't be truly gone; he might even be able to be more accessible to Izuku than ever before. This would skew my answer a lot. While I think it would be really cool to see a story that explored the subtle pain and grief of "losing" someone in all aspects except for a mental projection, I'd rather just pretend that part doesn't apply here. Maybe OFA got destroyed, or Izuku passed it on to someone else. In that case…

Izuku's waterworks are one of his defining traits. He's gotten far more stoic over the years, but I am sure this would bypass all that progress. He would be inconsolable, losing the person who shaped his life since he was a baby.

At the same time, Izuku has spent the series growing a strong, healthy network of people who support him. He has family and teachers and friends. He'd cry, a lot, but he'd be able to do so on plenty of shoulders. And he has a lot going on in his life! He has a career to start, he has adulthood looming - he has so much to look forward to, and so much of it became possible thanks to Toshinori.

It would hurt each time he hit a milestone, I imagine - to get on the hero charts for the first time, or do his first big fundraiser, and not be able to share that success with the person who gave him the chance to do so. I would never say that a person's death is "good" for someone, but I think it would be something that spurred Izuku on. "I'm blessed to have been able to know him at all," I could see him saying. "He would want me to keep doing my best."

Izuku loves to ruminate. I am sure he'd never be able to fully stop wrestling over how he could have changed fate and been able to stay by Toshinori's side just a little longer. But everyone dies someday. Toshinori lived a long, full life, and left behind an incredible legacy, one that Izuku proudly helps keep alive in his stead.

Toshinori, I think, would look far less devastated by comparison. He is stoic and solution-focused. He would probably be comforting Izuku's friends and family and doing his best to fix things as best he could. That's what he loves, after all: being of service to others.

But Izuku's passing wouldn't feel like a neatly finished chapter in a book. Old people die, but young people aren't supposed to. Losing someone so bright and talented with so much ahead of him… what a senseless, unfair waste it would be.

And what a blow it would be to Toshinori. After everything he's been through, he finally found someone like him, someone with his heroic spirit, someone who changed his life and his whole way of thinking. He already lost his health, his quirk, and most of his life. To lose Izuku too, after all that, would be unimaginably painful and cruel. His brightest light, snuffed out too soon. And we know how much Toshinori beats himself up about not being able to save people.

Toshinori is a resilient person. He's been through tragedy before, and he bounced back. I don't think he'd break down and become a ruined hollow shell of his former self. But when it came to the private, unseen pain, I think Izuku's passing would harm him far more deeply than the inverse.

So it's interesting: I think Izuku would appear far more wrecked in the short term, but would ultimately heal and be able to carry on and live a full and rich life. Toshinori would seem far less affected, but it would be a crippling loss for him.

That was a fun mental exercise, thanks anon.

[minmin-vs-physics]

Hey! I’m gonna be a physics major next year, and I was wondering if the Mac and iPad combo have worked well for you, or if there’s something else you recommend tech wise?

short answer: yes.

but, im gonna use this has an opportunity to yap about my current study set up. this goes without saying, but what worked for me may not work for you, and my set up evolved over the years as i found what was best for me.

i use an iPad for lecture notes and homework. i think its the most organized you can get them to be without straight up LaTeXing the shit out of them (and i know people who do exactly that, more power to them)

i just write faster than i type, and an ipad allows me to copy paste equations and add photos and stuff which is helpful for diagrams. i use goodnotes 5, and i will sing its praises till the end of time.

i think it pays to develop a clear style for your homework and lecture notes, bc your work will be easier to navigate. here's an example of my lecture notes and my homework.

[hehe general relativity moment]

HOWEVER, you will mostly be having paper exams as a physics student so i recommend you don't get too reliant on your iPad. i tend to do all my studying in notebooks, or loose sheets that i can refer to. practice problems are always on paper.

[stat mech studying i did last week]

i started using legal pads for this from the end of junior year bc they're so convenient! im also incentivized by the stock our dept keeps in the mail room.

i have to do a lot of calculations for research and i prefer to do them on paper or a blackboard if it's something im reasoning out. idk it's so much easier to be stupid on paper than on goodnotes. ofc my research log is kept digitally, but i keep a binder with all my old calculations (both correct, and incorrect) along with my main reference papers.

[i was flipping through this just now and realised how much bs is in it.]

LaTeX is a good skill to have which i didn't realise until too late. if you have to write any paper that's remotely scientific, LaTeX is the way to go. none of that google docs bs.

i use both vscode and Overleaf for editing. i mainly just LaTeX my finalized research calculations into one big doc. it's much easier to show my advisor. also it looks cool.

i got a monitor when my laptop screen broke sophomore spring (something inside me broke as well that semester it was so fun). and if you have the option, i would totally recommend getting one. it's useful having a second/bigger screen.

i use mine for a bunch of things: coding, reading textbooks, genshin impact, Netflix, grading.

on the topic of textbooks, i use digital bc im cheap. but i do buy secondhand physical copies that i rarely reference, but keep around bc it doesn't hurt to start your hypothetical professor office bookshelf early. i only buy the ones i actually respect, like Peskin's Intro to QFT. but the digital copies are usually much handier. i keep an extensive digital collection of books and papers i might never need.

don't be like me keep your digital library more organized!

and yeah circling back to electronics! i use a Macbook Pro rn which has served me well. i guess things are different if you need to run solidworks or other specialized software, but you can always use the lab computers, so that was never a problem. i have an apple ecosystem bc im a slut for capitalism.. i mean i was already halfway there and now im just really used to it, so i like all my devices being friends with each other. my tip is always get more RAM than you thought you needed, and double the storage. but maybe that's bc im mean to my laptop and love hoarding files.

i also keep all my previous notes and printouts so may be i have an academic hoarding problem in general.

in the end, a mix of old school and new age technology bs works best for me!

thank you for your question! i hope this helps :)