#maybe im just sad rip
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tagged by @pirateboy (hiii jorge 🤗) to add five songs you think are essential listening for understanding you as you are right now soooo
i’ll tagggg @omg-hellgirl (haha), @theclocky1 , @tiredfinch , @little-bit-of-mystery, @bargainoriley and anyone else who wants to do this !
#ronnie wood songs single handed rip me to shreds it’s so horrible#this was incredibly difficult i had to phone a friend but i ended up with just going to my on repeat and picking there#married with children is once more in constant rotation after a year because i like the way i lived it#lowkey all those kinda sad uplifting songs but maybe im just sad yet uplifting#tags :)
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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AU in which etho attended the charity event, just didnt tell anyone until he joined them at the after-party + had to drink the nervousness away
#i really want to read a fanfic with this plot#begging someone to write it and tag me#maybe i just drew that cause im sad my wine is empty#lost the reference and cant find it anymore rip#but its a pretty popular meme#ethoslab#ethoslab fanart#my art#mine
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#me the past few days:#“why am I so anxious and scatter brained? why are my sh habits coming back? I'm doing fine. My pain isnt even that bad rn.”#i thought at first i was dehydrated because I've been drinking less water but i realized today#im fucking exhausted#a storm ripped the roof off the hospital where I work last week#so needless to say work's been fucking weird AND busy#I've been churning out art like never before since figuring out AMM#I'm trying to get my life together and feeling a real drive and motivation to do that#I've never been so burnt out on things that I love before#i also realized I'm still mourning my grandmother#that was still less than a month ago and fuck it I'm sad#i need to rest but just dont know how rn#maybe I'll figure out after work#i hope i do
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I was devastated when i realized i deleted all of my DS2 audio files (i had to make some space on my work laptop / pendrive, DELETED THEM thinking i have the files on my old laptop and then found out that NO THEY ARE NOT THERE. I OBLITERATED MY TREASURES). So i extracted all of the files again and sorted them a bit. If anyone is interested in getting all of the voice files from the game - the transfer will be up for 7 days, grab em and share however u like if interested. The only thing missing is Deaths giggle (happens when he stomps on the scarabs, no idea where those files are). also if the link / files are busted pls poke me!
#darksiders 2#listening to these dorks talk genuinely gives me comfort oops#and by dorks i mean. karn.#manifesting berrarris into DS4 btw#i dont have time to replay the game to record deaths scarab laugh.mp3 atm but :c SO tempted#i might speedrun it JUST for that fckn laugh#its MOST of the audio files#i deleted some mob files that were EXTREMELY generic and not fun at all#a demons warcry x30 type of deal#will anyone even want this lol#i just feel like. i sat on this for years and MAYBE im not the only one who likes listening to game voice files?#it was waaaay better sorted in my og folder :c rip#like i had deaths voice lines sorted to happy / sad / angry folders#RIP IN PEACE#darksiders#games
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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised#or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna#make you deal with that#but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been#cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed#my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1#and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd#yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk#ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure#* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest#anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd#other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been#even longer since we could talk 1 on 1#like 2 weeks rip#maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip
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i have like an abnormally tender center of the chest atm and have for the whole day and looking it up as usual has unfortunately diagnosed me with dying. sad. well it was nice knowing ye
#luckily its not internal pain just external but still wierd. internet says im having a heart attack 👍#or cancer or like a specific sternum ailment. so rip#i think its cuz i was feeling so shit the other day i was pressing on it so its tender now maybe but yeah. really sad im dying#esp before i can join the 27 club 👎 booooo
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is it ok to be this emotionally invested in this character
#auagahah sometimes i feel like i might be too emotional about it#to the point i get sad about it u-u#i wonder if im going too far or that this isnt normal#maybe i am a little insecure ahahJAJSSJJDDJDJ#mmm#what if it could be ripped from my hand any moment#what if one day suddenly my ship just wont matter as much anymore and anything and everything i work for them just doesnt mean anything#auagahah#sorry i was having a decent day#then i just feel sad u-u#.vent#its ok ummm ill get over it in 2 days maybe
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being the least competitive person alive in a family of ppl who would kill each other if it meant winning did not do a single good thing for me as a person it turns out
#jackkal#like idk. its sad that i feel like i cant engage w the ppl i live w bc every single thing is Something#i literally feel like i live in kevin can fuck himself#its allllll a show and i feel like im the only one who cant play along#i just want to be nice to each other but i guess thats just weird!#god forbid#not to mention my childhood#holy fuck#i was the smallest of the entire family until i was 14 i was smaller even than my cousin she was 3 years younger than me too lmfao#nd rhey just LOVED to berate and make fun of me for physical things i could not control#get mad i was upset#then tell me i just needed to be better and not care abt what they said. well maybe stop saying things that make a 9 year old cry???#ughh whatEVER#Just pisses me off bc i can see how its affected every aspect of who i am and i still can't just like#stop being that way#correction actually i didnt get a growth spurt until 16 rip lmao
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i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them i miss them
#i miss them my god do i miss them#they are among the very few people in my life#that just cause this specific overwhelming wave of sadness to pass over me whenever i think of them#i wouldnt even know how to explain my relationship to them it doesnt quite fit in any boxes#but i see them once a year if all goes well and i fucking miss them#idek how much its reciprocated bc theyre adults and im a sentimental kid and they mean so much to me maybe more than they'll ever know#its also that that terrifies me bc theyre. not young. and anything could happen at any time#im scared ill never know them the way i could and THEY will never know ME the way THEY COULD!! THEY SHOULD!!!#IT WASNT VIOLENTLY RIPPED OUT FROM MY HANDS BUT IT WAS STILL TAKEN FROM ME AND I MISS THEM!!!#buck has spoken#bucks vagueposts ventposts
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Yall ever just like, think about the ways that crowleys flat and aziraphales bookshop are both opposites of their respective realms? Heaven is bare, cold, minimalist, and aziraphale makes his shop cluttered, inviting, and cozy. Meanwhile hell is cluttered with garbage, crowded, filthy, in disrepair, while crowleys flat is clean, with open space, and no clutter.
Maybe im just stating the obvious, but thats what im thinking about today
#ok maybe everyone knew this#but like im just thinking about it again#also rip the ending of season two made me so sad :(((#great writing and acting#but i will eat gaimans heart for his powers and write a third season if i have to#/j#tv good omens#good omens#good omens meta#kind of#crowley#good omens aziraphale#good omens crowley
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adrianne lenker. guys
#ik i post abt a lot of artists here but AAAJKHEFJHFDJHKTREWHKFDSHJKHFKJSDGHKFJ#banger after banger after#.#emptiness!!!!! tell me bout your naturee MAYBE IVE BEEN GETTING U WRONG!#also the way my angel cuts out makes me so severely unwell#i wanna cover one of her songs so bad................... but im still not there with guitar and i havent played piano in like 3 years rip#BUT! im gonna cover good news by jb because it seems pretty simple (guitar tabs tells me there are only 4 chords IM WINNING)#and it's well within my vocal range i think this is a sign#plus the strumming pattern....................................................say no more#back to adrianne lenker tho#only really listening to songs (2020) yet so i cant waaitt to listen to her other music :)) ive listened to ruined which i like!!!#but omfgggggggggg i really like not a lot just forever guys. and come. top two favs thus far i think#and my friend loves anything and shes learning it on guitar (theyre the one who got me into her in the first place love her fr)#they were all like “its sad lesbian music .youre gonna love it" and then i did.#anyway i am by proxy obsessed with anything and tbf it's LITERALLY such a great song#STARING DOWN THE BARREL OF A HOT SUN!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her music holy shit#hjkgfdshjkgsdfhjkgsfjkhsfgdjhkgsdf#gfdhgfdsjkhgfdshjkgsdfj#gkhjsjknfdvjknfvjknx
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Also while Jack and religion posting these lyrics from Belle's Palsy by Reverend Glasseye just felt so him.
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf jack#jack kennedy#him in the good ending to be fucking honest. ykwifm.#sorry im dropping so many fucks maybe that afterlife post i made was foreshadowing for how mad im gonna be when im send to hazbin hotel#sorry it was a long day today. im very tired. it was rough.#anyway I've become less of a man is so . him. bc if the title of the song doesn't tell you enough GO LISTEN TO IT 🫵👁️👁️ but also like#it's about a man falling apart bc illness like he's dying and talking to his god#and expressing how eager he is to meet his end#and by 3 jack really is so fucking done with being alive he's so tired AND. sorry. sorry this is no place for.me.to rip my hair off#he makes me just so sad it's unreal. I'd fix him. anyway um. like yeah#yeah he's all fucking rotten and tired and just wants to finally fucking die#also i like that the song talks of storm bc he does go up in flames so it's like. a silly contrast y'know :)
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I've been in the fucking trenches all week running on abysmally small amounts of sleep on account of several 9 am classes back to back, HOWEVER, I also got mods working on my Terra alt and it's had a catastrophic effect on my brainspace as of late. Giggling and spinning the camera around him for several hours while my partner's screaming and crying and wailing at me in vc to PLEASE just unlock dungeons and continue the main story
#saltfish games#ffxiv#kh#kh terra#yes im still gonna continue tweaking him later bc theres some mods i want on him that also break Other mods i have enabled for him#and its a whole mess of a jigsaw circus that i am not looking forward to wrangling but. i will. for Him#'salty arent there actual terra hair mods' yes. exactly one ripped directly from kh3. unfortunately its fitted horribly onto ffxiv models#so ill just deal and maybe bug a friend into helping with making a vanilla hair mashup to just cobble together something#that resembles the way i draw his hair myself FGSJDNSNDNSH#in case this takes off and people start wondering why the hell he has sideburns: thats just how i like to draw him dw abt it. hes Scruffy#and technically i do also have a mod for his canon outfit but it breaks the body replacement mod im using for him as a base 😔 sad. oh well#anyway. something so moe abt middie huyrs. its enchanted me
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literally consumed by thoughts abt my freaks .
#theyre giving me sooo much inspo for the religious aspects of my world which. its kind of a feedback loop bc these ckncepts were already#vaguely there but i was iffy on them BUT my freaks r inspiring me 2 make them more concrete.. its all coming 2gether.#i think maybe there will be only 2 like Primary goddesses. names pending... but see. well teehee. ive got it all worked out ok in my head#basically one is life the other is death Easy we get it. so basically the gidt is when you die. sad. rip. first.of all. but anyways#rhen your soul is like there and then un reaper comes 2 get u so u go and then yr in the underworld OMG THE GUY FROM FNV IS FROM KY?#SHUT UP NVM THE GUY FROM KY IS FROM KY YESSS YESSSS Y3SSSSS YESSSSSSS#AWESOME. FUCK YEAH GO BIG BLUE GO BIG BLUE GO BIG BLUE YESSSSSSS#anyways. sorry#um. what was i on about KRBRJGBDKNF the wildcat coursed through my veins...#oh right..soooo in the underworld your soul sort of hangs around until its time 4 u to be reincarnated. n then indeed u do get reincarnated#immm debating. bc like. Obviously ... population grows#so im debating on if like. Can new souls be created. or should it hust be that the souls sort of... split in 2 on occasion. sighhh. i have#2 think abt it...but anyways yes. so you have reapers who take your soul when u die AND reapers who deliver souls to babies So that they r#people.. teeheed. but basically originally deathgoddess managed both bc shes the older sister and lifegoddess was just fucking about up top#having a greag time like. creating squirrels and trees and shit. but then people keep on dying and getting born and it gets too much#so dg basically tricks her sister into coming to the underworld. method pending...#but yeah.. eventually lg escapes But realizes that she can only stay up top for half of a day. and this is why day and night existtt we get#it... but yeah now she manages the delivery of souls and dg manages dead ones.#and im imagininggg another girl whos sortnof a scribe/chronicler for all the souls originally inspired by geshtinanna from sumerian myth.#bc originallyyy i was thinking abt having my guys be originally from sumer... but now that theyre in my fantasy world im judt gonna take#inspo. bc also it felt kind of weird to just be like. taking actual sumerian religion ykwim. but yeah#dg and lg are also inspired by ereshkigal and inanna. Obviously lmao. but im gonna tweak them quite a bit#oh anwhays. my 2 freaks i think ive mentioned them. Basicallyyt they were sooo in love abd then Aur naur they doid... sad..... so then they#get 2 the underworld they hang out theyre happy and then lg is like Ok time 4 u to get reincarnated and theyre like yeyyyyy and then theyre#supposed to be put on seperate sides of the world. and probably would never meet so theyre like Actually fuck this ! and bust out#and then theyre judt On the run from the death authorities for the next few millenia#and they can possess ppl btw. so yeah now rheyre judt running ariund#but also theyre so divorced bc being one of two immortal beings. and having one other person whos immortal. You get sick of them so fast#so theyre very divorced and have literally thousands of years worth of shit to bitch about but they also do have crazy sex all the time#anddd theres like one specific reaper assigned to their case and well theyve got a weird gay thing with him too... so yeah
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man.
#i had this whole post ive been trying to formulate for so so long. abt my issues w ceewilbur and ccwilburisms and#to clarify i do like cwilb he is one of my faves. ik it may seem i wanna bite his arm off smtimes and i Do but#its mostly bitterness directed to the stuff Around him if that makes sense. yk the response to lots abt him#the way the overcompensation abt how he can be villanized swinging into a state where he Cant and never Did and wrong and if you critique#or acknowledge it you get snipped at and demeaned and treated like its a targeted hit on the mentally ill when its like#a mild disagreement with one of the most popular characters in the fanbase Easily#and w cc wil i do think he is just sm guy. im sure he's a nice dude idrc abt the ccs usually but he seems alright enough even tho he has v#goofy ahh takes and opinions but that doesnt make you Evil#but when i dive into what really has made me feel so alienated and snippy its. llmao its the racism yeah lol its super very much the racism#its very very prevelent and very common and very unchallenged. and it like. upsets me so bad its why i keep bailing on making my actual#full detailed post abt it. cuz everytime i try to formulate my thoughts i just get upset and frustrated i wanna rip my hair out#its hard not to feel like im talking to a wall when its so common and unchecked and. ive seen rightful critiques of these spaces and how#ppl interact with them Openly Mocked and brushed aside and treated like 'petty sensative internet drama' that ppl need to 'just get over'#sorry man im a fucking 🇲🇽 i cant exactly log off and Stop Experiencing Racism. and sorry that me feeling alienated and tired and sad abt#it is an inconvenience for you llol#and like idk. im not upset w anyone in particular this isnt a call out post or vague who give a shit and.#eh maybe im stupid but i really really believe a lot of ppl arent doing it on purpose#its just bein parroted ik i get it but#am i rlly not allowed to be tired? why should it feel like my responsibility to hold ppls hand and go hey mb treat poc and darker skinned#ppl like ppl. maybe you should examine why you need so many things made palatable to you through conventionally attractive whiteness first#idk. idk!!! am i crazy who fucking knows#but it has been weighing on me stupid style so bad#the shrinking fanbase and primarily yk common stragglers has just. rlly felt like a magnifying glass to my already existing issues abt it#idk man. idk im tired and im at work its 100°+ and my head hurts so this is all yr getting. lea me alone#and again this isnt a vague who Cares. just wanted to get it off my chest finally#huri.txt#discourse#<- ig
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