#maybe ill do a part two about this
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When other Yellowjackets fans, majority who are poc themselves, talk about how weird and frustrating it is that the writers introduced a random yte character and gave them a storyline when there were two (technically three but they killed off Lottie even when there was an opportunity for more) woc, who have been around since s1, that could've fit the mold instead (like Mari) and have actual personalities outside of building up/being the lapdog for another character. Or how often times many of the, limited, poc characters are often either treated poorly and killed off, or pushed to the side (Simone, reduced to the disposable black girlfriend trope and is nearly killed by her partner because she's in the way of a ship; Travis, since s1, had his trauma dismissed or ignored and was overly hated but no one talks about how he was SA'd by the girls he's now stuck with on top of having to eat his brother and not be able to grieve over it). How Taissa's whole storyline is just revolving around Van even with all the potential, especially given she's fighting to be free from her own mind, how Lottie's mental illness is treated so poorly as if it's not the butt of a joke then it's met with heavy criticism (and the only time she is met with sympathy for it, it's through the lens of a yte character embodying her and having an emotional conversation with her father). How you can have all of these reasons (and more) for being annoyed by Melissa's character or the direction of the show, and be met with #those fans downplaying these concerns, or just being overly antagonistic just because they find yte character #243 entertaining so obviously these conversations don't have merit. But this fandom has always had an...."interesting" way in which it discussed the poc characters on the show, so I'm not surprised.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets critical#mind u in the og script lottie was a black girl who had to suffer racial abuse from an old rich yte woman that she never recovered from...#like tai has a premise for such interesting storylines (that don't revolve around yte characters) and the show still does her dirty#and even regarding her relationship why would tai be so dismissive of her family over van? why is there hardly any shaunatai scenes?#a yte woman's introduction to the show being her potentially killing an indigenous woman struggling with mental illness and only for said#woc's death to be discovered through a true crime forum and used for a competition between two yte characters....yeah there's no problem at#all there#like so much of melissa's character feels at the expense of woc who were already established and had more to show for it than her#and it gets so annoying seeing those fans try to skirt around the problem or speak over poc fans when called out#like why does mari receive such hate or lack of understanding in comparison to yte counterparts who do worse than her? i thought the yjs#shouldn't be judged heavily bc they're teenagers going through the unimaginable? or is that mindset not shared with woc?#and im not even getting into how the plot is all over the plsce#like why is the teen timeline (where most of them are going to die) more diverse than the adult? and adding another yte character was#supposed to do what?#lottie matthews#taissa turner#like so much of s1 was about shauna heck even some parts of s2 so i thought maybe s3 would be tai's. nope#yellowjackets spoilers
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As a boy king in Narnia, Edmund Pevensie once swore privately to the stars that should his siblings ever die in battle, he would die with them. Protecting them to the end, so their fear might be lessened by the thought that they werenât alone.Â
But irony would have it that the bloodshed of war did not bring about their end, but rather a train built of steel and glass, hurtling from its tracks onto the greenery of a steep English hillside. Â
Edmund does not forget the promise he made so long ago, in another world he can no longer access. He remembers that promise in his final moments, as the train flips and rolls and flings him and his siblings like rag dolls. He feels it burning deep in his heart, feels the stars smiling somewhere in the distant past as he wraps his arms around Lucy and Peter and shuts his eyes a final time.Â
Only a few minutes before the derailment, the three of them sit in an otherwise empty train compartment, silent and each occupied by their own thoughts. Edmund is gazing out the window at the flashing scenery when he gets the sensation that something is horribly wrong.Â
There is a faint tingling that crawls suddenly up and down his spine, chilling him to the bone, and he sucks in a breath, eyes going glassy as the scenery blurs outside the window. For a moment he is back in Narnia, standing by Peterâs side, hair windswept and helmet tucked beneath one arm as he surveys the battlefield before them. He can almost see the army sprinting towards them over the lush grass, can almost hear the roars and yowls and screeches from both sides, can almost smell the tang of unspilled blood. His sword is nearly tangible in his fingers, heavy in his grip, the engraved hilt cold and familiar against his palms.Â
The tingling against his spine swells into a roaring pressure, and Edmund is pulled roughly from the battlefields of his memory, jolting back into the present with violence. This feelingâ this horrible, gut-wrenching, bone-crushing feeling that grips his throat and lungsâ this is how he felt before his first battle against the Witch and her army. A sense of impending doom, scraping against his teeth with aggression and burning his heart; he knows it all too well.Â
Edmund swallows again, missing the distant weight of his sword in his hands as he fully returns to himself. The train is shuddering slightly as they advance along the track, English countryside flashing by outside the windows. Next to him, Lucy hums the haunting melody of a dryad, idly sketching daisies in a blank page of her journal; across from Edmund, Peter flicks through a newspaper, brow furrowed with an intensity Edmund well recognizes from his brotherâs days as High King. They are alone in the carriage, the rest of their traveling group crammed into a different car, and for the briefest, most traitorous of moments, it almost feels like their old days, just the four of them. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, together against the world.Â
But Susan is no longer with them, and these are not their old days, and something is terribly wrong.Â
âPete.â Edmund keeps his voice even-keeled as always, and his brother doesnât look up from his paper, simply answering with a distant âHmmm?â that Edmund knows well enough to translate that he isnât fully listening. Lucy, on the other hand, flicks her gaze towards Edmund, eyes bright and curious as always as she tips her head. Edmund doesnât meet her questioning stare. If he dared to, she would read his face in an instant, and he doesnât want to scare her without necessity.Â
But then, he reminds himself with a self-directed scoff and a shake of his head, her title was Valiant.Â
It will take more than his current fears to scare her.Â
So Edmund pushes away his misgivings and tries again. âPete,â he says a second time, louder than before.Â
This time there must have been an edge to his voice, a sharpness that heâs rarely allowed to frame his words since his days as a bully. Peter looks up from his paper, seeming suddenly to recall that this was the tone Edmund always used in times of peril, and instantly recognizes the expression on Edmundâs face. Calm and controlled, but with an undercurrent of panic flickering at the edges. Panic that was not befitting of a king of Narnia, but that Edmund sometimes couldnât keep from slipping onto his face in the early days. After all, he had only been a boy then, a boy king in a strange world. Now they are back in their own world, but it is foreign to them, and sometimes he is afraid. Â
A touch to his arm. Lucy is leaning towards him, face earnest and undaunted.Â
âYou sense something, donât you, Ed?â she asks him simply, and his final facade crumbles.Â
He nods wordlessly, hands gripping the flaking leather seat of the train car.Â
Peter moves to sit beside him, and Lucy watches them both, waiting. Edmund glances towards her. âLu,â he says quietly, and reaches for her hand. She takes his willingly, her fingers squeezing his own, and he half-smiles, his other arm stretching towards Peter.Â
The High King grasps his brotherâs hand firmly, and Edmund exhales, his heart soothed by the wordless reassurance of his siblings.Â
âI donât know quite what is going to happen,â he tells them softly, voice gentle as a winter snowfall and soft as a shaft of sunlight in the western woods. âBut something is coming.âÂ
He sees Lucy the Valiant swallow, her fingers trembling just slightly in his, and Peter the Magnificent lifts his chin, cold fear burning in his eyes.Â
Edmund grips their hands tighter.Â
âI wonât let anything happen,â he says fiercely. âTo either of you.âÂ
It is a vain promise, but they cannot peer into the future. They cannot foresee the grinding, twisting metal and searing flames that await them, mere moments ahead. And so his siblings simply smile at him and scoot a little bit closer, holding his promise close and silently vowing to do the same for him. Peter sits tall and straight, his shoulder pressed against Edmundâs, and Lucy leans her head on his shoulder, her journal forgotten.
Edmund is just beginning to think that perhaps he was wrong when there is a deafening, thunderous screech from the front of the train, a grinding cacophony of clashing metal. Â
The sound of the world ending.Â
In the same instant, Lucy and Peterâs hands are ripped from Edmundâs with a feral violence. âEd!â Lucy screams, thrown backwards against the wall of the car. Peter slams his head into the roof and slumps unconscious to the floor, and the car bucks wildly, windows shattering and spitting out shards of broken glass.Â
Edmund tumbles head over heels as the train flips and rolls in its derailment, crashing into Lucy and Peter again and again as they each come dangerously close to being thrown from the broken windows, yet somehow escaping each time. He catches snatches of broken screams filtering from other cars, desperate and agonized, and swiftly pieces together that they have mere moments before the end. Â
Lucy slams into Edmund again, hair askew as she scrabbles to grab hold of something, and Edmund wraps an arm around her, stopping her tumble midair. His other hand closes around the now-empty frame of a window, briefly anchoring them both, and the train slows suddenly in its maddening descent. Edmund has the distant thought that perhaps that is not mere coincidence, because the train seems to be rolling almost in slow motion, shards of glass flying past their faces as if in a dream.Â
Peter, still unconscious with blood dripping down his forehead, tumbles over to Edmund and Lucyâs feet, faster than the train is currently moving, and Edmund makes a swift calculation.Â
âGet down,â he says softly to Lucy, releasing her. She drops into a crouch next to Peter, and Edmund kneels beside her, taking a final look at the train car as it rotates with an almost magical slowness, allowing them to have a last moment together.Â
Seconds. They have seconds left. He doesnât know quite why heâs certain of that, but he is.Â
Lucy has flattened herself against Peter, weeping softly and whispering with the irrationality of grief, âWake up,â and Edmund wraps his arms over both of them and closes his eyes, hugging his siblings tightly with all the love he was never able to articulate aloud.Â
âGoodbye,â he whispers, though peace fills his heart as light begins to glow through his closed eyelids. âIâll see you both soon.âÂ
Lucy's hand finds his and squeezes it tight.
The train flips a final time, and glass and metal explode in a deafening burst of fire, smearing the sky in clouds of ash and smoke. A lionâs roar echoes briefly in the flames of the wreckage.
And somewhere, in a realm flooded with golden light, the Pevensies open their eyes.
#this is a bit darker than usual but it's been in my drafts for almost two years so i figured it was time to edit and post it LOL#it originally opened with something like 'when edmund pevensie dies his arms are wrapped around his siblings' but i changed it a bit#i think i saw something that inspired it about how edmund was always protecting his siblings and how he probably did it to the end#or maybe i made up the part about him doing it to the end idk#but either way this is how i think it would have happened#and of course then they go to be with aslan and their friends and family and the narnians so it's no longer sad :)#but still. it must have been scary for them regardless#and i think he would have gone out protecting them as best he could#also the magical slowness of the train car flipping was indeed actual magic#aslan giving edmund the time to fulfill his wish to protect peter and lucy :)#anyway ill shut up now lol#narnia#the chronicles of narnia#lucy pevensie#peter pevensie#edmund pevensie#ramblings from the void
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i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either
#like i heart bisexual men so part of me is like no yeah he does like women. he literally loves women#>what if this is just love as general blind devotion solely on the basis of them not being men#we all know he likes men without much of what would be societal shame but he still grapples with it in that personal way#in the if i like men it means i like them despite what happened to me -> i secretly like what happened to me way#talon like i like men and women but i could never spend my eternal life with a man. as a way to just focus on one thing (finding said women#instead of letting himself think about anything else at all#oc text#ill let it float into my mind but idk because this would mess up his original plot before i kept him#though tbh i want to keep keeping him idk if ill ever let him go back home ykwim. long gone concept at dis point he's mine now. ours#talkys#also this makes things more interesting too in the way of#well it was previously thought that talon has a great interest in [smunker] because of smunkers Body#a sort of unintentional and subconscious rejecting of [smunker's] gender and seeing him#as not a man#now its like. what if its not that. it rly is just sole attraction to men because well al is also a pretty feminine guy#views challenged because noâ men one way (bad) and women another way (good)#but theres TWO guys here who exhibit femininity so he's like wait hold onnnnnn waittttt#that subconscious conflict still exists though in the fearing al (at first) due to his body and both terrorizing and clinging to [smunker]#because of his#the terrorizing because talon sees his original self in smunker (weak and youthfulâ cherubicâ naive)#theres so many layerssss#anyway yes. loving women as in of course i love women. beautiful and they keep me safe#but not in any way further than that... i love them i can and will kiss them and do much more but it doesnt feel The Same#i dont think i actually even have any fully gay guy characters [EXCEPT MAYBE THE SELF? LMAO IDK] bc i love bisexual men so much#groundbreaking...#wait sorry more oc rambling this actually would also make sense too because how i imagine talon with women is exaggerated#complete personality change to be pleasant and pliable and you can do whatever you want to me#when its also known that the reason he ''acts out'' with al and [smunker] is because he feels safe enough to drop any and all masks to do s#hmmmmmmmm i must keep thinking
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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ch3 of danganronpa CLEARED but like. why did so many people imply that was gonna be a bad and annoying chapter. i had fun lmao, and the trial didnt feel any more or less frustrating than all the other ones ??
#i feel like ppl keep saying it about like that one and maybe the next one or two also#but i didnt dislike 3??? so idk maybe ill be fine w/the others too lol#dr liveblogging#that reminds me i gotta go back to ace attorney#bc im ALSO at a chapter there that people say is like infamously frustrating and hated#which i think put a mental halt on me LOL it's hard to keep going on something#when everyone is like OH THATS GONNA SUCK like okay. do u want me to play or not LOL???#but even w/ AA theres a person or two i follow that i think have been playing it too#and i think i remember them saying they didnt mind that chapter??? maybe even liked it#so i dunno man. i dont really want other ppls perception of game to warp my perception before i get there#i say that and yet i am going into dr with many sporadic spoilers ksldhfLHFSDLKJG lol but what can ya do#like i knew how ch3 was going to end and i knew who was getting killed#so maybe that removed any distaste bc i wasnt surprised about those parts#bc i knew about them years ago lol#well wahtever i thought it was fun. i miss ibuki tho <///3
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On the idea of âis Paul lying about this being the best pathâ my interpretation is no, he's not. At the very least not purposefully lying, although it may not be the actual truth. And by that i mean that there's no future where all the Harkonnens die miserable painful deaths and then yippee the Fremen rule Arrakis and Paul is there living happily ever after with Chani, that he sees. but what i do think is true is that the path Paul chooses is the one that allows him to meet all his goals which, in relative order of priority I'll say are:
revenge on the harkonnens
keep the people he loves alive (jessica, chani, alia)
free the fremen from harkonnen control (maybe, if it's convenient or if he has time)
and the really shitty thing about this list is that number three is extremely convenient and helpful for number one but not in a good way and number one is really non-negotiable for him. Like from his perspective he needs revenge against the Harkonnens, that's why he joins the fedaykin because fighting against the Harkonnens like that feels like revenge. But the idea of taking it all the way to the top and getting revenge not just against the Harkonnens but also the emperor for killing his family and the entire imperium for standing by and doing nothing is too tempting for him to ignore. And he caveat on the second point is that the people he loves being happy isn't necessary just that they're alive. (*cough cough* Chani in the movies *cough cough*)
So i think that the future Paul picks, the narrow way through is the one that satisfies all those best and you'll notice that âdo right by the oppressed indigenous peopleâ and âdon't murder 62 billion peopleâ aren't really on there. not because he doesn't care about those but⌠he doesn't really in comparison to the aforementioned goals. Post-water of life, he sees "the best path through" where he gets everything he wants and sees the jihad as an acceptable price and reasons it as "inevitable" whether or not it actually was.
all of this means that yeah, to him there very well may only be one way and yeah the one that he chooses is the best one from his perspective even if you've read the books you'll know that he kind of fails at point number two in trying to protect both Chani and Alia.
Lastly, in the later books Leto II talks about the Golden Path and that its the only way to save humanity and blah blah blah. Frank Herbert pretends like he mentioned it in Dune and Dune Messiah but he didn't. Although I do believe he had some ideas about it in Messiah but it wasn't fully formed until Children of Dune. How I always interpreted that in retrospect is that Paul saw the Golden Path but wasn't willing to make the sacrifices necessary (becoming a sentient sandworm god, living for four thousand years, etc. which... fair) and tried to half walk the Golden Path without ever fully committing to it and fucks it up and leaves it to Leto II. All of which to say, the Golden Path isn't a thing in the original book so the "narrow way through" is not the Golden Path because Frank Herbert hadn't made it up yet and its not what I'm talking about.
#people who are like âoh pauls an unreliable narrator and therefore hes probably lying about this being the best pathâ annoy me just a little#because like yes he is an unreliable narrator but also do you really think he's just straight up lying to the narrative#whats that post thats like âdo you really think the character would just lie about thatâ or smthn#bc it makes no sense for him to just completely lie#and on the last bit about CoD ill admit im only about two thirds through god emperor so if im entirely wrong about the golden path thing#let me know#ive always thought the reason why leto ended up taking the golden path and not paul is because#paul was entirely too human and letos was never really human maybe ill make another post about that#dune#dune part two#dune part 2#paul atreides#dune 2024
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The real problem with Going to Therapy is the part where I have to Go
#personal#the therapy part is fine its just the like going out and having to Do Things that is the problem#but im trying not to cancel so much and I'd rather go today then next week which is when I'd reschedule#plus it will be good to talk about the last two weeks#im just so tired also though đ#but i need to go pick up my groceries anyway so i might as well go to therapy beforehand cause its on the way#maybe ill have some tea and that will help
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I think fans want Jason to be a good person or be becoming one. To have a character that is well meaning and compassionate but decided murder is ok and to stand against main heroes whoâs beliefs and actions go against the people he cares about and wants in his life. Itâs confusing for people. People want their fav characters to be happy. But Jason canât have his familyâs support and follow his moral code. Heâs cares about people and Gotham, and heâs an asshole who kills. Itâs messy. Itâs not black and white. I donât even think Jason cares about being a good person or in the right anymore. I think he cares about what will save the most people instead.
Oh my goodness gracious Iâve been bamboozled
Batmanâs definition of Good is not synonymous with absolute good/right no matter how much dc insists it is. Torture, battery/assault, surveillance, those are all condemnable actions too. I wonât get into the exhausting and frankly dumb debate of comic book morality wrt killing because Iâve already reblogged plenty of posts from other people who explained my thoughts on the matter far better than I ever have the patience to sit down and articulate. I also just think the notion that thereâs something to be done about fictional characters who kill nazis and senseless murderers is stupid. Jasonâs point is that the âmainâ heroesâ sanitized definition of right has its unaddressed holes and flaws which ultimately result in more preventable fatalities, and that heâll work to correct those missing spots.
He doesnât not care about doing whatâs right. What he doesnât care about (at least during his Winick characterization) is whether Batman thinks heâs right or wrong, because he sees the flaws in Batmanâs methodology (and since he has a mind of his own). Batmanâs methods alone cannot address Arkhamâs revolving door and the rogues that come and go through those doors who have no intention (or capability from the doylist pov) of ever changing or undergoing redemption. Jason knows that heâs minimizing the number of preventable deaths by killing his targets, typically Characters Who Simply Do Fucked Up Shit Just Because, Why The Fuck Not?
Secondly, Jason is compassionate ⌠to a fault. That was his fatal flaw. If he wasnât so hell-bent on saving his potential birth mother he just met from that bomb despite everything she did to him prior, he could have protected himself instead, however slim his odds of survival were. What about his relationship with his other parents? He was a caregiver during his early childhood years for Catherine, until her death. Even mature adults who are financially stable find being a caregiver to a dying parent to be extremely burdensome on their bodies and minds, but he never complained about it or resented Catherine for being unable to care for him. Despite how none of his parents have really been what he needed them to be, he doesnât blame them for their failings, and even continues to think highly of them (Bruce included).
And post-death? Enter Lost Days. Despite being dead set on plotting his revenge on Bruce, he constantly sidelines this in order to save other victims who are helpless like he once was. His own anger, trauma, and mission donât remain his priority. (Sound familiar? Something something my own trauma above my sonâs, mission above all else, etc.). Why would he waste precious time and risk his own life to do this if he wasnât empathetic towards these victims or didnât care about doing the right thing. He is simultaneously horribly traumatized and full of rage, and also incapable of ignoring whatâs happening to victims around him (even as he claims that itâs indeed not his priority). And in that same vein, the entire premise of his rebirth outlaws run was that he doesnât care if the public views him as a villain, an outlaw, so long as he can protect Gotham. And anyway where is this portrayal of him not caring about being in the right anymore. Almost every modern Jason story is about him grappling with where he stands with Bruce/Batman. During the early 2000s was probably the last time he did not care (hello, tentatodd??).
Jason has very evidently been portrayed as a kind and compassionate character. He is also simultaneously a calculated killer who doesnât hesitate to kill when he deems necessary, and does so without remorse. Itâs called being a Complex Character With An Edge⢠that as you said, people so often claim to love. However when he fulfills that latter part, that seems to upset people because âkilling badâ, and they then try to shave off and round out all his edges and claim he shouldnât be that angry. In that case I guess you should just stick to liking traditional one-dimensional characters instead of claiming to like Jason but then encouraging his character assassination attempt by dc. Lol.
Lastly, who said anything about the batfam making Jason happy? Just because heâs written nowadays to want acceptance from Bruce (a shoddy attempt at forcing a non-existent nuclear batfamily), doesnât mean that itâs a sound decision or that it does his character justice. I certainly donât empathize with the idea that Jason needs the familyâs approval or acceptance to be happy. (And anyway he has enough outlets for angst and pain aside from the batfam hello explore his other sources of trauma and do more deep dives into how he thinks when heâs alone). I donât want them to magically make up and become one big happy family. This is not disney Lol. Besides, there are plenty of stories from dc that have that type of âwholesomeâ (hate that word utilization) characterization for Jason (Liâl Gotham, Tiny Titans, wfa, and even new stuff like the brave and the bold mini) and that is sufficient imo. Jason fans who are invested in the character deserve accurate, nuanced characterization and well-written stories, whether they be from his robin days (e.g., Batman: The Cult) or as red hood.
#fellas. ya know what else is wholesome? avenging your own death#you can have moments of âreconciliationâ or peace but still maintain a strained relationship which is far more realistic#âheâs an asshole that killsâ and Bruce is an asshole who doesnât kill. lol.#you canât claim Jasonâs conflicted and disturbed but go on to say Bruce is perfectly sane those two are mutually exclusive#also please realize that a character acting out of anger does not mean they lack compassion.#implying that he doesnât care about doing the right thing is saying the same thing that person said;#that he doesnât actually know what heâs doing. that he hasnât thought through his moral stance.#âJason didnât put any thought into anything he did in utrh heâs just a poor mentally ill lost soul who needs the batfamâs love to heal đâ#đ¤#âjokers just a poor victim of society đ he just needs someone to understand him and maybe one day heâll heal and realize heâs wrongâ#what they both have in common is that theyâre misunderstood in opposite directions#the joker doesnât have a point to prove. thereâs no deeper meaning behind what he does. everything is a joke to him.#he isnât unaware of right vs wrong lmfao#jason todd#dc#asks#my post#and I think youâre implying that heâs utilitarian based on that last part but I donât think he is#user mintacle posted a few metas regarding that and again they explain it much better than I prob could#anyway it isnât difficult to understand his character if you know why you like him and you actually read his stories#that post specifically was from someone who clearly said they did not read the comic so. technically theyâre on their own wavelength#edit: grammar
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Fuck my stupid lonely gay life
#AUGHH. AM I EVEN CAPABLE OF CONNECTING WITH OTHER HUMAN BEINGS#gun to my head. am i even a real person anymore#i dont even like talking to other people is the worst part#sometimes i wonder how my life would be if i hadnt developed insanely severe social anxiety in high school#never trust how you feel about your life after 8pm <- repeating this over and over#how do people even make online friends. like. i guess i would have to actually talk to people#but even then what if i say something wrong. what if i dont have anything to say. scary#i think a new hyperfixation would fix me (haha ) but i havent been able to enjoy anything on that level recently and its kind of#PISSING ME OFF but whatever. is this what neurotypical peoples lives are like. how do they do it#pacing in a circle zoloft takes 8 weeks to work zoloft takes 8 weeks#i guess i use this account as a vent mostly but thats because i have no where else to . LOL#whatever. another vent post for the ages. this ones not even coherent. im so good at talking about fucking nothing dude#vent#talking#i like going through my own vent posts and analyzing my character development like im from a story#hey past me i hate to zay it but stimulants did not fix your problems. in fact they sent you into a major dissociative episode#got put on ritalin now but i dont think its gonna help probably. but maybe thats because the last two adhd medications were so terrible#but i think my adhd too bad for weak stimulant and my anxiety too bad for strong stimulant . my mental illness cocktail untreatable#im so glad you cant see views on tumblr that shit made me so anxious on twitter i deleted an entire account lol#bro cant make friends and he cant maintain the friendships he has đ what a loser
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#not to overshare but#my partners sex drive is a lot lower than mine and its starting to make me feel. unwanted.#like we fuck maybe once every two weeks#and i know that thats a lot more than a lot of people but my brain and body want much much more than that#and i know its just his natural sex drive but part of me is afraid that hes just not actually into me anymore and idk what to do about it#like yeah we're open and i could just go fuck other people but that only fixes the physical part of things not the emotional#idk. i need to get railed by someone whos desperate for me#im sure ill delete this later
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ok i love daredevil but marvel is so ass sometimes... im rewatching s1 and bruh tell me why this man just used plain old water to put out a chemical fire and it WORKED </3 and this one old lady always listened to english speech and responded in only chinese without a translator in between and then the characters were surprised she speaks english?? hello do you know how this works?? daredevil is such a compelling idea (catholic, lawyer, vigilante!) and i really do love the main characters and plots but the attention to detail is so horrible in like every aspect. the terrors of loving something bad you also hate
#im yet to finish the show ive just rewatched the first two seasons over and over loool maybe this time ill finish tho#and thats bc i got too hooked on mattfoggy when IT ISNT EVEN CANONNNNNNNNN i mean of course it isnt but IT SHOULD BEEEE#shipping aside their relationship is so neglected by the plot tbh i wish they expanded on it a lot more than they do#but the nelson v murdock angst is nice i do like this plot i just wished they established the relationship a bit more beforehand#also karen is such a good character ugh i love her and CLAIRE theyre both amazing and tbh i think their romantic endeavours with matt kinda#diminish their characters. in claire's case it isn't too bad but karen bruh i love her in s1 and then when she gets with matt its just bleg#i think they would be more compelling as their own entire characters rather than just love interests... which karen isnt realllyyy but the#interesting parts about her just get rounded down as she fawns after matt idk#anyway. you know what can fix this? fanfiction âď¸#oscar.exe
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Where's that one Ford art post thats like I'm in the best years of my life clutching a hot pink thermos thingy with hot gurl juice when he's clearly not. cause damn . Yeah
#ive got it actually downloaded on my phone. so dont actually need it forwarded to me. but also#christ man what day. what a life. what am i doing man. im so exhausted. trying to figure out my masters. which like. UGH first pushed to#do things and then im like oh okay yeah makes sense ill do it and then suddenly people are like a YEAR LATER wait what do u actually want.#like. idk man i do enjoy what im doing and enjoying myself. but also fuck im tired. but also i would be excited to do further work on what#im doing. like. i get my aunt dying recently has suddenly all my other aunts reassesing their lives but its just like. yeah and now suddenly#youre reluctant about the shit youve pushed on me huh#and CHRIST the stress of figuring how the dynamics work since everythings changed up here and ive gotta move AGAIN#and the oma needing to be medivac'd out today like fuck man. and then i fucking went to craft night and started weavibg a basket#like. what the fuck man. and then finished two typesets.#ughhhhhh. and was like damn i needed to make those hours for work today but whatever i guess. tomorrow it is#me w my sad little micky of liquor and my laptop for typesetting and antique roadshow on in the background trying to relax#omas probably fine but CHRIST last i was in they were like shes fucking dying. okay wait shes a little better no one else is in can u#look after her. horribly stressful#yeah. sure. prime of my life. to stress out about everything.#hugin personal#had a breif moment sitting on my bed where everything dropped away and i was like damn what the fuck am i doing. what is going on.#how am i still moving. anyways. i think i need a vacation#its fine its just been a long few months and things keep piling up and im supposed to be making importnat life decisions and i feel like an#impaled beastie on a fork writhing around. AND im not home so i dont got my snuggly boy to cuddle. i just need some sleep i think#the prof i was thinking of supervising me seemed super nice... and talking to stydent this week also where nice and only had nice things#to say. idk man also been thinking this week about growing up and never having your work being acknowledged. its just why havent you not#done that. like. damn. dont think i can recall my dad every saying im proud of you. ughhh some ways good to be out of the house since dads#stressful af to be around and the parents still arent sure about maybe getting a divorce but its also awkward af dynamics here#the rents seem fine for the most part but yeesh. the fall was not good. also i miss my boyyyyyy#anyways. yeah classic NDN thing of your life being fucking run by your aunties somehow work wise#also being asked point blank what i want was like fuck man. what do i want. can u just leave me alone to do hobbies actually...#jk i do enjoy my job. i love research tbh. coordinating stuff less so but it do be a part of it#ok well. whoops rambles on here wayyy more then was expecting
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience đ#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings đđ ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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Iâm starting to hc Miguel as Miguel Rivera (from Coco)âs great grandson.
Itâs mostly because Iâve been doing my family tree for a good while now, so most of my free time is occupied with tracking down Mexican ancestors, looking for resources to better understand the different settings they lived in, reading old Spanish handwritten records, etc. So, with genealogy on the brain, and seeing some names repeated down family linesâŚI think having Miguel OâHara be descended from Miguel Rivera would be a neat lil idea.
Like, imagine little Conchata growing up in Mexico with a famous musician grandfather who loves her and dotes on her and her cousins. Yes, heâs a famous musician, but heâs a family man first and is always ready to pass down stories from his life and his loved ones, dead and living. She loves her grandfather so much she decided to name her firstborn son after him.
She wasnât always the best mom, especially to Miguel, but she passed down those stories and traditions, including singing and a love for music. And Miguel grows up loving to sing, and being good at it but keeping it to himself and Gabriel because George hated to hear it.
Gabriel, on top of being a good artist, is a pretty damn good guitar player and also has a great voice. He mostly keeps it on the down low, though, even in adulthood.
Miguel didnât pick up any instruments, but he sometimes wishes he picked up the violin before he became Spider-Man. Instead, he let Gabriela pick out an instrument she wanted to play, and if she happened to pick the violin, the onions that manifested were a complete coincidence.
Plus, itâs literally canon that Miguel goes to Mexico to celebrate DĂa de Los Muertos and that his suit in the comics was one he wore to the festivals. I think itâs better for that to be a thing he does bc the holiday is a big deal in his family rather than bc itâs an excuse to party or whatever.
His mother had an ofrenda and so does he.
Miguel Rivera is still alive (he was born in like 2005, he could totally still be alive in the 2090s and 2100s, so he is in my hc âşď¸) so Miguel visits him in Mexico, too. Miguel is shy about singing in front of anybody, but his bisabuelo is able to bring him out of his shell, especially by singing his old songs that Miguel grew up listening to.
The more I think about it, the more attached I become to this hc.
Now I want to write a fic where Miguel is visiting a dimension in the 2020s (616B, 1610B, etc) and he happens to see that a young Mexican musician is starting to trend, and itâs his bisabuelo Miguel as a young man 𼚠so he buys tickets and flies to Mexico 𼚠to watch him live 𼚠and yes he knows this isnât his bisabuelo but he is as close as he can get to a young Miguel Rivera at the start of his long and successful career and it just hits him in the soul đĽš
And if Miguel Rivera happens to notice a 6â9â giant at his show, who looks strangely familiar, watching him perform like itâs the best thing heâs ever seen⌠whoâs to say.
#miguel o'hara#miguel rivera#spider man 2099#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#coco 2017#i just think itâs a fun idea#maybe ill create a lil quick family tree for this lol#nothing crazy like my togruta anakin tree#but look man coco is one of my favorite movies and so is spiderverse#if i mix the two together thatâs my business#but now im also thinking about an au where miguel rivera becomes spider man#like maybe he got bit in mexico city while and now needs to balance his superhero life and his super star musician life#and people create conspiracy theories about mexican spider man being the musician miguel rivera#most people donât believe them but it becomes a meme#and miguel just loves the memes even if they do also stress him out lol#anyway imagine he gets recruited to the spider society (part time heâs much to busy to be there often)#and heâs given the low down (multiverse. hq in the future. leader is named miguel oâhara)#and he meets miguel oâhara and is like lol we have the same name are you my grandson or something?#completely joking but miguel just says âgreat grandson actuallyâ#and heâs just flabbergasted lol he was joking he wasnât expecting miguel to actually be his descendant lol#anyway they become bffs đŻââď¸#hasan't
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trying to start S2 Ep 6 of IWTV and I've already paused it like 10x in the first 10 minutes because it's just kinda getting hard to care what they're going on about and I keep getting distracted tbh
#idk if i will end up finishing it#it's kinda losing me#idk it's frustrating that this show def cares about the characters & the source material but there's just a few too many things bugging me#like i havent watched any other VC adaptation before that actually felt to me like the actors and writers had read the books#and cared about the deeper parts of the characters other than this one (and MAYBE tom cruise as lestat in the 90s movie actually lol)#so thats a nice win for it#but also its just not doing it for me aesthetically and some of the show writing choices and changes ruined certain big things for me#like ruined me sympathizing with lestat and/or caring about his relationship with louis at all. and some of the stuff about claudia too#and now im just getting confused by the plot and i dont know if it's because im zoning out or mixing up the show timeline w the books#maybe ill just take a break from it and finish rereading the third book instead#this is kinda why i dont watch shows or ever finish them either usually too like#they so rarely stay good all the way through and its just hard for me to stay interested past a season or two regardless#i feel like i can only maintain interest in short form videos (like movies) and long form writing (like novels/book series) sometimes#not a big fan of short stories and not a big fan of long tv series#i have no idea why#other than i find tv series often overstay their welcome and short stories often leave me unsatisfied in the opposite way#p#vmpcs
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Oh my god I was NOT expecting to leave the Sun & Foxy fake date ep. mildly shipping Puppet and Foxy?? Help when I clicked on it I was kinda thinking âoh. More fake kidscove stuff. Thatâs always fun :)â but then everything happened and???????????? Huh??????? Like I donât really ever ship TSBS characters just cuz it feels weird to me but?? Oh my god
#HELP???#I donât know how to feel#like the whole Puppet Bodypillow situation is very 𤨠on Montyâs part obviously and kinda very weird#BUT#but but.#Puppet what was that reaction when Foxy kept it??#like Foxy was being completely normal about it. he took it because well Why Not and to maybe sell as a âcollectors itemâ#then YOU made it weird#I donât. hm#is Puppet catching feelings for Foxy??#like. there is NO WAY they included over half an episode of JUST the two of them for. nothing#like Monty at the end was even like âđ¤¨hey. hey buddy why are you. Being Like This? Hm?â#I. I donât know to me personality it honestly kinda seems like it. could work??#like it just felt so REAL to me when they were in Puppetâs new apartment and like. Foxy knew EXACTLY what Puppet would want#and he got EXACTLY what Puppet would want. and you could see how happy Puppet was they were just trying to act not excited#âI like. Couches. I like comfortable couches.ââ and âYou have a very comfortable couchâ like??? excuses to just. be in Foxyâs house more???#I am reading waaaaaaaaaaaay too much into this but CMON. PUPPET YOU WERE NOT NORMAL ABOUT ANY OF THIS BUT WHY??? PUPPET.#and FOXY?? FOXY YOU ARE POOR. Foxy the most recurring thing about you is that You Need More Money. and then you.#spend MILLIONS of dollars on an apartment for Puppet???? adhdjfjskdjdhagfjskfsjd#like. going back to Puppet. she even EXCPLICITY made some romance-related comments regarding Foxy and?? I donât know. I donât knowwww#IS SHE catching feelings?? IS she?? I just. that felt like Something. their entire interaction the whole time felt like Something.#puppet x foxy#(kind of)#mgafs#mgafs puppet#mgafs foxy#i rambled a bit#THAT JUST. chat I am TELLING YOU there is SOMETHING. there is something. I really hope we expand on this because PLEASE. please#it just. as a Ship it feels soft and comfy?? like a comfort ship?? idk I just really hope they expand on this#if they donât Iâll live. Iâll just be Silly in my head and imagine it being real. BUT IF THEY DO. ILL NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN
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started the sims 3 legacy challenge. being myself i made a spreadsheet ta plan out how ta get as many points as possible n keep track of which lifetime wishes ive gotten. they dont call this thing a challenge for nofin yall like bein broke as hell ta start has genuinely got me thinkin bout the sims gameplay differently akjwerkkjwe HAVIN A GOOD TIME i love the sims
#spain speaks#got a mod that lets same sex couples have kids cause this is a challenge about different generations but im also. a lesbian n dont care abo#t the guys in this game akjwerkjkjwekjw#i think its seasons or some shit that has the wildflowers that spawn around town but those're genuinely a good way ta get some extra cash i#u find the more rare ones akjwerkj n by god do u need that i am Not jokin bout the bein broke part O_O first in game day i had literally on#y a sleeping bag and like. two lights in my house đ#ITS FUN ill keep yall upd8ed. maybe . im not doin the whole postin pics/storylines thing but i Will be makin up stories as i go lol
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