#maybe if you tried really hard you could come up with another way to offend her

[a-s-fischer]

This actually undersells the moment, because the novel makes it explicit that she has a headache because she found out the day before that Darcy was the person who convinced Bingley to break it off with (read ghost) her sister, Jane. She was so upset and furious about this that she spent the evening having an angry cry over it, and woke up with a headache.

So not only does Darcy make one of the most insulting marriage proposals of all time, to her, a woman who already dislikes him, when she has a headache, and after she has spent weeks on end stuck in the company of with his horrible aunt, but also his bad behavior is the cause of her headache!

an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

[subbmissivesuccubus]

Rut

Summary: The Hero is in heat thanks to his quirk and you, being a good wife, decide to help him through it. Unfortunately for you, you severely underestimated just how difficult ‘helping’ him would be.

A/N: Another Patreon request! I don't watch MHA but I always loved Hawks design so this was fun to write!

Disclaimer : Hawks X Fem reader. Overstimulation. Marathon sex. Rut.

“Baby- baby wait- fuck- don’t come closer!”

You froze, your hand stilled on the doorknob, about to open said door before you heard your husband call out to you from behind it.

“Keigo, what’s wrong?” you asked, listening to his wishes for the moment, “Did something happen? Are you hurt?!”

You felt your heartbeat fasten a bit, your mind conjuring up a multitude of scenarios. Being a Hero was no joke and you couldn’t count the many nights where you sat glued to the TV, heart pounding as you wondered if your husband was coming home that night alive.

“I- I’m fine baby. I’m not hurt.” He called out, making you sigh with relief, “but really- I can’t explain it but- I- I need to be alone.”

“Keigo, I love you and I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable.” You said, “but I am not leaving until I see you and make sure you’re ok for myself. I’m opening the door!”

“No- wai-“

But before he could get the word out, you pulled the handle and pushed the door open, eyes widening as you walked into…uh…

A huge mess of a room. The sheets were all pulled out and thrown around, the pillows were ripped up with feathers all over the bed. Your closet doors were thrown open and your clothes were all taken out, including your undergarments. On the bed, in the middle of all of the mess, was your husband, seemingly buried under a giant pile of your clothes. His usually styled hair was all over the place, adding onto the crazed look in his eyes and the flushed face. He was sweating profusely, hair matted onto his forehead, his eyebrows furrowed with an expression on his face that looked like he was in pain. His wings were wrapped around himself, feather shivering underneath the clothes.

“Fuck…” he cursed as he saw you, tossing his head back against the pillow made of your clothes.

“…What’s going on?” you asked, truly confused. You husband groaned loudly from under his cocoon, burying his head farther down the pile until you couldn’t even see him anymore, just his wings.

“…I’m in a rut.” He finally said, his voice muffled.

“What was that?”

��A. Rut.” He repeated louder.

“You mean…like…” you said, having heard the phrase before, “Like mating season?”

Hawks growled even louder, “Yes- fuck- my body is on overdrive and my dick is constantly hard. It sucks! I tried to calm myself down by jerking off and nesting with your clothes but- fuck me- it isn’t working.”

“So that’s what this is…” you said, at least getting an answer about the mess, “I’ve never seen you like this before. Is this the first time it’s happening?”

“…No. It happens every year.”

“What?! How have I never noticed it?”

“Because…I send you away. I buy you vacations to g-get you out of the house. S-Speaking of which- why are you back so early?! Your trip should have ended n-next week!”

“My dad fell sick so we had to cut things short.” You explained, wondering why you never questioned Keigo’s generosity in sending you on trips during the same time every year, “I can’t believe you kept this from me!”

“I’m sorry baby but-“ he hissed as his body shivered for no reason, “The rut can be…a lot to handle. My body just wants to fuck and fuck and fuck until my bones give out! It’s not pretty…”

“Then why do you not want me here?” you asked, still keeping your distance as you didn’t want to overwhelm your man, “I could help!”

That finally got him to push his head out of his wings enough for him to give you a look that said ‘you can’t be serious’. “Baby- you pass out after three rounds. There’s no way you can handle me when I’m like this.”

You gasped, an offended hand on your chest, “That’s not true- I mean- yes maybe- but my husband is in pain! What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t even try?”

Before he could even say anything, you grabbed your coat and shrugged it off of you, making him gasp as the fabric fell to the ground. You were just about to pull your dress off when Keigo broke out of his cocoon and surged forward so fast you could barely process it. He gripped you by the collar and pulled you towards him, the man still kneeling on the bed but even so, his face was in line with yours.

“You really- really don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” He growled, looking more animalistic than you’ve ever seen him. You gulped as you felt his hot breath fan your face, the look in his eyes making you shiver. You sex life was perfectly fine and quite satisfying but even through your years long relationship, you’d never seen him have this look- this ferocity- this…desperation in his eyes.

You felt your pussy quiver already, Keigo hissing as he saw your pupils dilate.

“I’m serious!” he said, grunting as he could smell the heat off of you, trying his best to not jump you and rip your clothes off, “This won’t be normal. I’ll go round after round- constantly fucking you and cumming inside you- You can beg me to stop but once I start- there’s no stopping.”

You gulped, hands going back to your dress to start unravelling it.

“Baby- take this seriously!” Keigo snapped, frustrated, “I know you think it’s all fun and games but- but-“

His thought trailed off as you managed to push your dress off of your shoulders, the fabric falling in a heap on the floor, leaving you clad in your underwear.

“…Fuck it.”

You squealed as your husband grabbed you by the hips, picking you up enough to turn around and throw you onto the bed, making you crash into your pile of clothing. You licked your lips as he all but pounced on you, the man making work of his pants as he pressed his lips against your, stealing your breath away.

This was going to be a long night~

~~~~~

Slurp “Ah baby-“ Mwah schuck shuck “Just like that- fuck me- keep pumping that cock- mmmph~”

You gasped as Keigo latched onto your nipple mercilessly, suckling on you like a baby as he lied down on the bed, torso supported on your lap, wings and all. Your left hand pumped his hard member as he suckled on you, pre-cum dripping down it like a faucet, making his dick so slick- it was like you had lathered it with lube.

His cock was hot and needy, the tip so red you wondered if it hurt. He was panting against you like a dog in heat- but it was rather a bird in heat. Your nipple was slick with saliva, drool dripping down the curve of your tit. He was sucking on your sensitive bud so hard it took your breath away, you bare pussy gushing at his moans.

Both of you were stark naked, clothes tossed all over the place and in definite need of a wash once this was over. Your spine shivered as Keigo moaned against your nipple, biting down on it gently when your hand paid special attention to the tip of his cock.

“Babe- fuck- gonna cum!”

“Wh- already?” you asked, surprised. It wasn’t even five minutes since you got your hands on him. He groaned in frustration against you, giving your nipple another bite before he simply snuggled his face between your tits, sighing happily as he felt the weight of them against him.

“I’ll cum fast but- mmph- I’ll cum a lot- oh fuck- yes- yes- cumming- cumming!”

With a shout, Hawks arched his back as he climaxed, making you gasp as ropes and ropes of cum shot out of his tip. Your eyes widened at the amount, a seemingly never-ending stream of white ejaculated out of his cock and onto your hands, coating your fingers. Some of his cum spurt out with such force it stained his chest and a bit of his chin. He moaned loudly- shamelessly as he shivered from the pleasure, his balls throbbing from each pump of his cum.

Eventually, he relaxed a bit, taking in deep breaths as he snuggled his face harder against your breasts, a happy grin on his face. You blinked as you pulled you hand away from his cock, gulping at the sheer amount of cum on your fingers. Your whole hand was covered, webs of cum created as your spread your fingers apart. It looked like twice- maybe even thrice the amount of semen your husband would usually let out when he came.

“…The tissues are in the bedside drawer.” Keigo said, smirking at your shocked expression and getting off of you long enough for you to get the box of tissues and wipe your hand clean.

“Let’s go again.” He demanded, his hand groping at his still hard cock, looking at you like you were her prey, “I want to taste that pussy.”

~~~~~

“Ah- Ah- fuck- honey- right there!”

Hawks moaned against you, shaking his head from left to right, tongue dragging across every inch of your sopping cunt, “Here? Yeah?”

He gulped down your juices like he was a man dying of thirst, his hand in between his legs as he jerked off. Suckling on your nipples and getting a handjob was amazing- but he could never deny himself the pleasure of lapping at your cunt while he touched himself. It was one of his favourite hobbies.

“God- I love this pussy- love this pussssy so much~” he groaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he sealed his slick lips around your clit and gave it a toe-curling suck, your cries tuned out over the sound of him slobbering all over you. It was messy and sloppy but oh so good! You arched your back, your hands tangled in his hair and you wondered if you wanted to push him away or pull him in even more. The sloppy sound of him sucking you up and drinking your juices made your face turn so red, it reached your ears, the noises and moans leaving your mans mouth making your heart rate increase.

Was he in heat or was it you?

Keigo stuck his tongue out lewdly and started flicking at your clit, pumping his cock in time with every movement, your little bud at his mercy. His feathers shook with the force of his hand, the man moaning against your clit and making your ears ring from the sensation. He once again opened his mouth wide before he took your whole pussy in his mouth, making out with her like he does with you.

“Keigoooo- oh God- s-slow down!” you whined, trembling underneath his merciless actions. He shook his head no against you, once again dragging his tongue all over you. He sucked your pussy lips into his mouth for a second before he said:

“No stopping. No slowing down. Now- cum in my mouth.”

~~~~~

“Fuuuck!” Keigo gasped as he couldn’t control his hips as he started pumping into your mouth, “Take it- take it- take my fucking cock!”

You gagged around your husband’s member, his dick pumping in and out of your throat, fucking it like it was your cunt. Having you lying on your back with your head leaning over the edge, you felt his balls clap against your forehead as Keigo fucked into your face, blood rushing to your head. The position gave you no choice but to take it- saliva and spittle leaving your mouth and dripping upwards. Your pussy quivered from the ghost of your orgasm, the sensation of his tongue on your slit still lingering and the warmth of the semen he splashed over your cunt making you tingle. You were stained with copious amounts of his seed, his second orgasm just as explosive as the first one and your whole pussy was covered in white.

It was only a matter of time before it was pumped inside.

Gawk Gawk gawk- hah- slurp- slurp- gawk

“Fuck baby- I can see my cock- fuuuck- imprint on your throat! It’s so hot!”

You could only imagine the view. Your tits bouncing up and down with the force of his thrusting- your neck stretched to accommodate the position which made it more evident when the bulge of his member showed up. He hissed as his hands went to your chest, squeezing your jugs and using them as leverage to pump faster against you.

“Y-You ok baby?” he asked, mind dizzy from the pleasure, surprised that he was still able to string sentenced together, “You can take it- ah- right?”

You gurgled around his cock, the vibrations making his knees buckle as he picked up the pace. Drool coated his balls, his sack slapping against your face harder as he mercilessly pumped into you, chasing his pleasure. You squealed as he suddenly pushed himself as deep as he could go and stayed there, your nose pressing against his nuts as his hands left your tits to instead reach for your legs. Your back arched off the bed, eyes watering as his cock was pushed impossibly deep, your fingers gripping the sheets below you tightly as he spread your knees apart, baring him your cum stained pussy. You squealed, eyes rolling to the back of your head as his hand slipped between your legs, fingers gliding between your pussy lips as he sought out your dripping hole.

“Ah- fuck baby- let me- mmmph- stretch this cunt out for my cock~”

~~~~~

Plap plap plap plap plap

  Your fingers dug into the skin of Keigos back- well- as much as you could considering the wings sprouting from his back. Said wings were slightly flapping, almost helping him thrust into your cunt with as much force as possible. Legs wrapped around his waist, your moans were swallowed by his tongue down your throat, your husbands’ eyes open and drinking in your fucked out expression even as he pounded you.

His balls clapped against your ass as his fat, throbbing cock pumped in and out of you, the drag of his veiny member against the ribbed texture of your cunt making both of you groan from the pleasure. You gasped as you broke the kiss, turning you head away so you could get a second to catch your breath. You felt him licking your skin to occupy his mouth, grateful that he was giving you a moment to collect yourself even as his tongue dragged over your cheek and upto your ear. You shivered as he ran his tongue along your ear before sticking it inside, the sensation making your whole body shudder.

After swallowing his cum (to the best of your abilities) and cumming around his fingers, Keigo didn’t give you even a second before he changed positions, spreading your legs so he could slide his cock inside your poor, sensitive pussy. His hips moved like a machine, rutting into you like it was the last thing he’d do. You gasped as the curve of his cock constantly hit your special spot each time he thrust in, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the sensation.

…maybe you did bite off more than you could chew.

~~~~~

“Haa-aa-aawks!” you called out, voice jumping from the force of his thrusting. He simply grunted in response; his cock somehow still rock hard as he took you from behind. The cum he had dumped into your pussy was leaking out and staining the sheets, but he didn’t really care. He was going to pump another load into you afterall.

“B-Break- fuck- I need a b-break!” you pleaded, ass clapping back against his hips, his mouth watering at the ripple of your plush skin.

“No way.” He growled, raising a hand and smacking your ass cheek, loving your squeal as he left a handprint behind, “I warned you. We’re not fucking stopping!”

Your hands couldn’t hold you up anymore, elbows giving in as your torso fell to the mattress, leaving you face down, ass up. You panted against the pillow as the position somehow drove his cock deeper inside you, his cum staining your thighs and his balls. His cock was practically covered in white, Keigo churning up the semen inside of you and it was so filthy, it made your head spin.

“Fuck- gonna cum baby!” he cried out as he felt his balls tighten, the familiar sensation of an oncoming orgasm making his body tingle, “Pump this pussy with my seed- let’s get you pregnant, ok?”

You simply moaned against the pillow; your noises muffled by the fabric as tears left your eyes. Your eyes widened and you shrieked as Keigo leaned over you and slid his hand down to your cunt, his fingers easily finding your clit.

“Ah- ah- Kei- fuck!” you panted against the pillow, your body going into overdrive as he started swiping at your sensitive, swollen bud, “too much- too- ah- fuck!”

The two of you climaxed simultaneously, the familiar sensation of your husband pumping copious amounts of cum inside you pushed you to your orgasm, your pussy squirting and spraying liquid all over the mattress.

You collapsed flat on the bed, eyes rolled to the back of your head as your pussy throbbed, Keigos’ cum seeping out of you like a flood. You didn’t need to look back to know he was still hard and ready to go again.

“…Spread your legs. I need to eat out your asshole.”

“Wh- Keigo- eep!”

You squealed as the man gripped onto your ass cheeks before spreading them apart, exposing your puckered rim to him before he surged forward, planting his face right between your cheeks. You babbled at he started greedily lapping at your hole, shamelessly moaning as he tasted you. You shrieked, body once again getting overstimulated as his ran his tongue over your rim. The two of you dabbled in a bit of anal over the years but never in such a…desperate manner.

He smacked your ass before he shook his head between your cheeks, motorboating you butt as he played with you like a toy, his cock hard and leaking between his legs.

You tried to remember where you kept the lube.

~~~~~

The sun was up.

Fuck.

The sun was rising.

And you two were still having sex.

Well, Hawks was. You passed out during the middle of things and you had given him permission to use you even after you blacked out. Your body really couldn’t take any more orgasms and it shut down at some point.

You awoke with a start, several sensations hitting you all at once, making your head spin. You were lying on top of Keigo, your head nestled against his neck as he pumped his hips up and into you. You gasped as you felt the burn of his cock in your ass, his thick member stretching out your barely used hole. The glide was significantly easier than the first time he fucked your ass tonight thanks to all the cum lubing you up.

“L-Last one baby!” Keigo panted, somehow looking stunning even through the many hours of sex and orgasms, “Ready? Yeah? Want my cum?”

“H-Hurry up…” you groaned, your body still weak and tingly from when you passed out. You had lost count of the number of times you came as well as the number of times Keigo came. You stopped counting after six. Your body was fucked within an inch of its life and you had no more energy and so, you simply lied on top of him like a ragdoll, panting against his neck as he embraced you tightly. His hips bucked up into you, his thighs flexing deliciously as he chased his pleasure.

“Cumming- fuck- cumming!!”

With a final shout, his head tossing back and eyes rolling to the back of his head, Hawks came one more time. You mewled as his seed filled you up but you noted that it was significantly less that what you had endured all night. You felt his chest deflate, like a load was taken off of his shoulders (and his balls), the man finally relaxing.

“Fuuuck…” he said, gently pulling his cock out of you and thankfully, he was now soft, “That was…insane…”.

You nodded against him, grimacing as you finally got a second to note the condition of your body, i.e. covered in sweat and cum and stuffed full of semen that was continuously leaking out of you.

“Y-You ok baby?” Keigo asked and you couldn’t help but smile. He was clearly trying to fight sleep, his rut having left him and rendering him exhausted yet satisfied, no longer tormented by the heat.

“I’ll be ok.” You said, kissing his neck, “…But no sex for a month. I think I almost died.”

You felt his chuckle rumble in his chest, “I warned you, baby bird.”

“Mmmm. You did.”

“Speaking of baby, you’re probably knocked up, right?”

“…Probably.”

“…Nice.”

[munsonsmixtapes]

Buzzing With Excitement

Eddie Munson x inexperience!fem!reader

summary: Eddie is more than eager to show you a whole different side of sex after you break up with Steve

cw: MDNI (18+) fingering, use of vibrator, oral (f receiving) Eddie likes to be called daddy

part one part three part four

Ever since that one time in Eddie’s trailer, you hadn’t seen him. You had been afraid to, still feeling like that shy girl you had once been. You had thought you’d gotten through that with Steve, but it seemed like after sleeping with Eddie, you just shrunk back into yourself. 

And you found yourself always so horny for him, needing to fuck him as soon as you got home from work, your vibrator no longer doing the trick. You needed to feel him inside you, cheering you on as you took him well, telling you that you were nothing but a good girl. 

So, when you got desperate, you texted him, reading over your message more times than you could count and felt a pit in your stomach when you saw that he had read it. 

All you had said was “I need you.” So that concerned Eddie, the gears turning in his head as he continued to work on the car in front of him, wondering what you could have possibly meant by that. 

It could have either been a really emergency or maybe you had been wanting him to come over for a part two of what you had gotten up to at his trailer. Since you hadn’t reached out to him, he was beginning to think that maybe that he maybe you hadn’t enjoyed yourself or that he had taken it too far. And now he felt guilty about it, wondering how he could have possibly made it better. 

So, when he had a chance to reply, he told you that he was going to stop by on his way home from work. And when he was sitting in his van on his break, he was surprised to get that photo from you and was very glad that he had been alone. He couldn’t have imagined what would have happened if he had opened it while he was in the break room. 

You were standing in front of your mirror wearing nothing but your underwear, another lingerie set, but this one was bright red and more sheer, leaving practically nothing to the imagination. 

And you had the audacity to follow that up with “Are you sure you can’t leave work early?” Eddie could practically hear your whiny voice and was trying really hard not to think about how badly he wanted you. He had to go back inside any minute and he couldn’t very well go in there bricked up. 

So he immediately closed out the messaging app and tried to distract himself by doing anything he could to stop thinking about that picture. Now he really was considering leaving early. He had never left work because of a hookup so he didn’t know why you were any different. 

And of course, because the universe seemed to hate him, he wasn’t able to get out early and his boss seemed offended that he would even ask such a thing. As if he would have been affected personally by him leaving twenty minutes early. 

So after he was off the clock, he hurried to your apartment building, driving way faster than he should have been as that photo you had sent him had been burned into his brain. 

He swore he had never been more horny in his life and was practically cumming in his pants as he thought about all of the things he was going to do to you. He could practically hear your loud moans in his ears and he was close to flooring it so he could get to you quicker. 

Once he got to your building, you buzzed him in and he practically ran to the elevators, trying his best to hide is very hard cock as he pressed the button that would bring the elevator down repeatedly. He was eager to see you and get the show on the road or he was going to have a very big mess in his pants. 

The elevator finally opened and he stepped inside, pressing the button that would take him to your floor and suddenly, he was nervous. He had slept with more woman that he could count, but there was something different about you. Maybe it was because other women had more experience and he was just looking forward to showing you a whole other side of sex you had never seen before. 

Once the door opened on your floor, Eddie all but sprinted to your door and knocked feverishly, pressing himself against the door so anyone who happened to be in the hallway couldn’t see his hard on. In record speed, the door was ripped open and you were there in the lingerie set you were wearing in the picture you had sent him. You looked even better in person somehow and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on you, to take it all off and let his hands roman over your naked body. 

Without a word, you pulled him inside and pushed him up against the door, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss. His tongue was quick to flick into your mouth and you took it into your mouth, giving a suck. The whole thing caused Eddie to whine and that made you even more wet than you already had been. His hand moved down to your cunt only to find that there was a space where there should have been fabric. 

“Doll, are you..wearing crotchless panties?” 

“Maybe,” you replied, batting your eyelashes, knowing exactly what it did. It seemed that the student was already becoming the master and Eddie had no problem with that. “What are you going to do about it?” 

“What do you want me to do?” You responded by grabbing hold of his hand and pressing his two middle fingers together before guiding them to the open spot in your underwear, shoving them inside you, causing you to moan at the sensation. You grabbed onto Eddie’s arms as his fingers pumped in and out, slowly, then so fast that you could barely keep up. 

“Feels so good,” you moaned. “Been waiting for this all day.”

“Yeah?” He asked. “Well, it was the least I could do since you were so kind as to send that picture.”

“You liked it?” He grabbed your hand and guided it to rest on his cock that was tenting in his pants and you gasped as you realized that you were holding. 

“Does that answer your question, princess? Now hush. Let daddy work, okay?” 

His fingers moved even faster and harder and you felt your legs becoming weak, knowing that you were going to collapse at any second. Eddie quickly removed his fingers then wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. He then took his fingers and brought them to his mouth so slowly, maintaining eye contact with you as he did so. He put them between his lips and began to lick and suck your slick from them, moaning dramatically as he did so, wanting you to know just how good you tasted. 

You watched him mouth agape, hating how he knew exactly what to do to make you want him. To drive you absolutely crazy with how horny you were. 

“Let’s go to your room, hm?” He asked, as his other arm wrapped around your waist and you held onto him, feeling your knees getting even more weak. “Can’t walk already?” He chuckled. “Alright, c’mon.” Eddie grabbed hold of the backs of your thighs before bending down and throwing you over his shoulder, falling in love with the giggles that escaped your lips as he carried you to your bedroom. 

The door burst open and before you knew it, he was throwing you onto the bed and just when he was about to pull a condom out of his pocket, he noticed something at the end of the bed. It was shaped like a microphone, but he knew exactly what it was as he had used that exact model as well as others on women. 

Making eye contact with you, he slowly reached for it before turning it on, the buzzing sound filling the room. You watched him as he slowly inched it towards your cunt, quickly pressing it to your clit just like you had done so many time before, but this time, it was different, there was much more pressure and the buzzing sensation felt more intense. And you would have been lying if you said you didn't like it.

"So good, Eddie," you whined and he moved the vibrator to different spots to see what you liked best and it seemed like you weren't picky, eating up anything he'd give you. And he had a strange feeling as you reacted to the buzzing feeling, moan after moan falling from your lips.

He was feeling jealous. Jealous of a vibrator. He wanted to be the one to make you feel that way. The one to make you moan. He was beginning to regret his decision, but he wasn't going to deny you pleasure. At least, not right then.

As if answering his prayers, you pushed the vibrator away and sat up, grabbing onto his arms, pulling him down to your height. Your lips crashed to his and your hands moved into his hair, giving it a tug and he moaned in response.

"Don't start something you can't finish, doll," he said as he pulled away, but you just smirked devilishly.

"Oh, I intend on finishing. Now are you going to make use of the underwear I wore for you or not?"

"You're acting like a real brat."

"Yeah? You gonna punish me for it?"

"Not right now. Now lie back. Need to taste you." Eddie pushed you back onto the bed and you were more than happy to comply, feeling like you were going to bust after hours of not being stimulated in the way you needed.

You lied flat on the bed and got onto his knees in front of you, spreading your legs slowly before looking down at your sopping wet cunt to see what he was working with. And the crotchless panties were doing it for him. He could see you perfectly and now he didn't have to waste any time by removing the garment from you.

Eddie draped your legs over his shoulders and took no time to dive in, heading straight for your clit, knowing that he definitely needed some love considering that other men you had been with most like couldn't find it. His lips wrapped around it and suckled at it lightly before going at it, licking and sucking on it and he could tell that you were enjoying it by the way your fingers were threading through his hair once again.

"Oh my god," you whined and Eddie had to fight back a smile in reaction to how you were already eating it up. He continued to lick and suck even harder and you moaned loudly in response, your heels digging into his back as you did so, your thighs pressing against his head.

He moved lower to your slit and let his teeth glide across the spot, loving to hear you mewl in response. He took that as an invitation to continue, doing to motion over and over, feeling you tug onto his curls to show him how much he was enjoying it. To diffuse the sting, he swirled his tongue around the spot, pulling away for only a second to be complimentary.

"Yeah, just like that," he encouraged you. "Can you make that sound again for daddy?" He went back in for more, continuing to let his teeth graze against your clit and you made the sound over and over, already feeling spent even though ht had barely even done anything.

"Doing so well, doll," he told you as he hands squeezed your thighs gently. "Taste so good too. Swear you're going to be the death of me. No c'mon moan so more for daddy. Can see you're already close. Think you can get there?"

"Yes," you replied through labored breaths and Eddie shoved his face into your cunt once again.

You stayed like that for hours, Eddie making you come over and over again as he encouraged you the entire time, making you feel nothing but good with his head between your thighs. After you had come down from your last orgasm, Eddie reluctantly pulled away from you and wiped his face off with his shirt before moving to hover over you, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss.

"You gonna be okay if I leave?" He asked, his voice suddenly soft.

"You're leaving?"

"Don't have any pajamas. Hey, don't pout," he kissed your lips again, letting his thumb glide across the spot between your eyebrows, trying to smooth out the furrow between them.

"You could just...sleep in your boxers."

"Just can't get enough of me, can you?"

"Never," you shook your head. "I'll make you breakfast in the morning."

"Alright, you sold me." Eddie was quick to strip down to his underwear and then he quickly climbed into the bed next to you before pulling you to his chest, whispering about how good of a girl you were before the two of you drifted off to sleep.

[shotorozu]

ooo i saw your pick me girl hcs from awhile back and loved them! can i request something similar for ashido/kirishima/kaminari but with the reader encountering a “nice guy” instead? thank you <33

NICE GUYS DO FINISH LAST

characters . . .

ASHIDO MINA, KIRISHIMA EIJIROU, KAMINARI DENKI, BAKUGOU KATSUKI, TODOROKI SHOUTO

notes . . .

a quick one because i was getting overwhelmed with writing this one request for my comeback 🧍‍♀️ (a lil sneak peek: it’s todobakudeku as ex husbands)

female! reader

MINA is actually offended that this guy thinks it’s going to work. like.. calling you short (even if you might not be), trying to compare hand sizes with you, the self deprecating humor— she’s actually going to throw up in her mouth… 🤢 though, she already clocked this guy’s tea iykwim… she has interacted with guys like him before, and she knew from the very beginning what he wanted— especially when he tried to replace her. the wicked witch and the audacity of this bitch…

“she’s not gonna pick you… if you’re really that nice, you’d stop being so sad… 😹”

if the advancements didn’t stop, she’d basically do whatever she could to make sure he knew that your ass was a fruitcake and not interested… even if it was laughable on her end.

“let’s go my scissor sister!!”

“girl??”

EIJIROU is an actual nice guy… he doesn’t need to say it for it to be known, so maybe that why he knew exactly what was going on the moment he heard this guy flap his lips… he was ashamed that this guy actually labelled himself as a “nice guy” because honestly it was even starting to confuse him like… what if he’s the one that’s not nice for thinking this way? he’s literally gaslighting himself at this point 😭

but because EIJIROU’s so nice, he’d actually pull the dude aside, speak to him from one man to another man, and tell him that he doesn’t need to do all of this because you’re just not interested (oh, and y’all are dating!!)

“hey man… i’m telling you this because i thought you’d want to know, but she’s not interested. might never be, so like… quit it, dude.”

but when the dude pretends the conversation never happened, that’s when he starts getting visibly angry… he’ll be more firm when it comes to telling him off, and he’ll get in between y’all. if you wanted to tell him off yourself, then he’d be right behind you with his arms crossed.

DENKI laughs because he thinks this isn’t a serious thing at all like… there’s no way somebody actually acts like this, right? this is all fiction. he quickly realizes that this is in fact NOT fiction, and this dude is dead serious— and this is when DENKI starts to panic. he alternates between laughing (because not even mineta is that ridiculous) and being gobsmacked at this behavior. it has him lowkey paranoid, because he wonders if he has ever acted like that towards anyone, even if he meant well.

similar to kiri, DENKI is the type to pull the guy aside and tell him what’s up. except, he’d do it so casually, the guy would probably think he’s joking. now, DENKI’s scared because the guy was trying to rope him in his shenanigans (even though he’d never resort to such tactics!!)

he’ll try to joke that being a “nice guy” is out of style (except he’s not really joking) and because this guy genuinely freaks him out, he’d just focus on creating distance between you and that dude.

“bro was gooning so hard 😭 that was not sigma 😹”

KATSUKI practically implodes, when he first sees it, but it’s such an expected reaction— the nice guy doesn’t even think twice about it. KATSUKI looks annoyed— pissed off, when this rando goes up to you and pats you on the head with his unwashed hand, but after the nice guy momentarily goes away, KATSUKI turns to you and tells you to ignore it. not because he thinks you can’t deal with the problem, nor that it isn’t worth dealing with appropriately, but because he doesn’t want you to worry about someone like him any longer. there are better things for both of y’all to worry about, and this will no longer be your problem.

KATSUKI doesn’t even give the dude the luxury of a warning, the next time he sees him and they’re ALONE?? he’s approaching him with such speed, it has the guy shaking in his boots. the nice guy literally regrets trying to be all nice to you for ulterior motives, and he makes it known— but KATSUKI doesn’t care anymore.

“i was just being nice! can’t a guy be nice anymore??”

“oh so you wanna die—”

“sheesh, okay! fine! i’ll stop. the bitch doesn’t deserve it anyway…”

“… say what.”

KATSUKI did in fact deal with it, and you never had to think twice about him again (excluding the times you laughed about it to him.)

“ngl i can’t believe he thought that’d work.”

“well he’s a fucking dumbass. focus on stretching.”

SHOUTO is so confused, because he can’t understand why anyone would actually act this way, and for ulterior motives too. he can’t understand lying about who you are to get something— especially if that somebody is you, and especially if someone just wants that attention. it’s one thing to have a crush on you, sure (he gets that because he literally does), but it’s another thing to make you uncomfortable in the process of trying to get with you.

SHOUTO looks puzzled— insulted even, when he sees this guy pat you on the head and call you short. not just because he literally touched you and made you uncomfortable, but also because he could’ve been wrong too 😭

SHOUTO wouldn’t try to hide the fact that he’s trying to get in between of you. he’s literally like a sturdy foundation, unable to be moved— even if the guy tried to push him aside (also… that’s certainly a choice..)

SHOUTO is blunt with it. he will try to correct him on your height— even if he doesn’t need to. nice guy probably already knows that you’re not actually that short, but SHOUTO needs to make things known.

“please get it right. she’s not short.” (he’d say, if you’re not)

“you’re quite wrong, she’s not that short.” (he’d say, if you are)

and he’d just watch the color drain off his face with secret satisfaction, and the room atmosphere would go awkward afterwards (but does he GAF, nope…)

“you didn’t have to annihilate him like that,” you’d tease SHOUTO later, and then sarcastically remark, “i thought he was a nice guy”

“they finish last. at least, according to a saying.”

[awyeahitssam]

Time travel AU; Tomarry

Harry was seven the first time he appeared.

Tom arrived to him small and trembling, with bare blue fingers and toes. His teeth chattered noisily while hands worked insistently up and down his arms to generate some illusion of heat. It was a rather odd sight, considering it was thirty seven degrees outside and Harry was sweating a bit, himself. Not to mention the boy had just materialized in his supposedly secure hiding spot, without so much as a sound of warning or shimmer about the air. 

Or, you know, walking or running, because that’s how any other child got around.

Harry shook away the thought, pushing himself off the tree stump and letting shredded leaves fall from his grasp. 

The child was looking up, now, glancing around like a frightened rabbit, silver-grey eyes wide and wild. He couldn’t have been more than four years old, which wasn’t that much younger than Harry, but he wasn’t used to being around toddlers. In fact he had never been around anyone smaller than him for more than a few minutes - their parents always rushed them away, thanks to his reputation as the Dursleys' troubled nephew.  

Harry wouldn't let the boy freeze because his parents would be mad they'd spoken. Not that they would be angry at the boy, mind: it was Harry that always got into trouble for such things. He would be fine.

(And no, Harry wasn’t at all resentful. Really.)

Dilemma solved, Harry stepped forward resolutely and wrapped his arms around the trembling child. The boy stood stiff and unresponsive, tremors still wracking his form. Harry was a whole head taller than him; from this close he could see what appeared to be snow melting atop night-dark curls.

Harry blinked in surprise. He had thought the boy had been locked in a freezer, with how cold he was, but snow in July? 

Where was it cold this time of year? 

Sweden? 

Antarctica? 

Iceland? 

Did the boy even speak English? 

Harry knew that if you wished hard enough you could escape a place: after all, he had ended up across the schoolyard four days ago, on the school roof of all places! But maybe this boy had gone further? 

“All right?" Harry asked, going to pull away, but the boy suddenly began clinging to him, head pressing forward into his chest.

What did parents call their kids to comfort them? Aunt Petunia always said “Duddums,” or “Dudders,” but those were just nicknames. Maybe… 

“Uh, it’s okay, d-darling?”

The boy stilled again, sniffling once and looking up with narrowed eyes, as if he thought Harry was making fun of him. Maybe only adults called people that? Oh God, Harry had no idea what he was doing. This was his first hug, after all… 

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he tried again. “We’ll get you home, so you’ll be all right. With your, uh, parents and stuff. Don’t cry, please.”

Well, that was more begging than reassuring, probably, but Harry had no clue what he was doing here. He’d never had to comfort anyone a day in his life!

“I wasn’t crying!” The boy denied, shoving himself away from Harry fiercely even though he was still quivering and unnaturally pale. “And I don’t have any parents.”

“Oh. Okay,” Harry raised his hands defensively, ready to spring back if the boy lashed out again. When people got angry with him it rarely went well. “Um, I don’t either. Have parents, that is. And I didn’t mean to make you upset.” 

Harry wasn’t going to apologize for it. He had to do enough of that at the Dursley’s, and he had only been trying to help, besides. Still, he knew how frustrating it was when parents got brought up. The reminder that he was an orphan, trapped with the Dursley’s for a very long time to come, was far from comforting. 

“Just another orphan, then,” the boy said dismissively. Harry didn’t bother being offended, as it was the truth, though that tone was a bit... 

“I suppose,” Harry said. “You’re still cold, aren’t you? Let’s move out of the shade.” 

The boy squinted at him suspiciously, but nonetheless followed when Harry led the way to a nearby rock and gently pressed him to sit on it. He kneeled on the dead, brown grass and eyed blue fingers and bare toes worriedly.

“That’s not good,” he whispered. Harry reached out to the other boy slowly, as though he were a wild animal, and the child jerked away.

“What are you doing?”

“They’re blue,” Harry frowned. “Just - let me -” 

Harry took the boy's hands in his own and brought them to his mouth, breathing hot air onto them. The boy made a mildly disgusted sound and made to move back, but Harry held tight, rubbing to create heat through friction. 

He felt gross and sweaty, and frankly the cool of the boy’s hands was a relief on such a day, but mostly he was worried. He knew, vaguely, of hypothermia, and he didn't want the boy’s fingers to fall off.  

The boy glared at Harry, but didn't try to pull away again, though he watched his every movement rather suspiciously. That wasn't anything new to Harry, of course. Everybody found him suspicious. 

“Where am I?” The child demanded, after a long period of silence in which they were essentially holding hands. 

“We’re at a park in Little Whinging, Surrey.” 

“Surrey? I was just in London…”

Harry frowned back. “Are you sure? It's not snowing in London.”

“It was five minutes ago,” the boy said firmly, crossing his arms. 

“In July?” Harry murmured, incredulous. 

“I'm not lying,” the boy said coolly, though the effect of his glare was somewhat ruined by the shivers still wracking his body. “And it's February, besides.”

“I didn't say you were lying,” Harry huffed. “Just that you’re wrong. It's July 30th.”

The boy frowned, glancing from the sun high in the sky to the brown grass. He seemed at a loss, eyes flitting around as if trying to find something to refute Harry’s claim.

Harry watched him, considering. 

“My name is Harry,” he said. “What’s yours?”

The boy blinked at him. “Tom,” he said. “Tom Riddle.”

...

Harry was in the astronomy tower, legs dangling over the edge, eyes looking towards the ground. His companion arrived as suddenly as always, the only announcement of his presence the prickling at Harry’s neck.

“...Harry?” 

He turned with a tired smile, faltering only slightly when he noted what Tom was wearing. A slightly oversized version of the Hogwarts uniform hung over his small frame, a silver and green tie smoothed on his neck. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Harry asked, falling to his knees beside the bright-eyed boy. Tom wasn’t crying, but his eyes were burning with something like anger and loneliness and despair. It took Harry a moment, but when he caught sight of the bruise marring Tom’s face he felt his breath catch in his chest.

“You—who—how dare—!” Harry couldn’t seem to bring himself to coherence, so instead he shut his mouth and carefully tilted Tom’s chin to get a better look at the mark. It was large, spanning from his right cheekbone to eyebrow: a mottled, puce discoloration that never should have touched on Tom’s strong features. 

Tom allowed Harry to maneuver him without complaint, eyes wide and hungry as they took him in.

“Even at Hogwarts,” the younger boy murmured, smaller hand reaching out, brushing against Harry’s cheek. 

Harry couldn’t help the soft look that overcame him, despite the anger boiling, wrathful, in his gut at the sight of Tom’s injury. “I’m glad,” he said softly. “I’d rather not go ten months without seeing you, Tom.” 

Though truly it hadn’t been so long for Harry. After all, hadn’t he seen Lord Voldemort rise only a few months ago?

But no. This was Tom, his first friend, the first person he’d thought to protect, not a single trace of serpent in his visage.

This was Tom, with one of his eyes half swollen shut.

Harry didn’t know any healing charms, but he had taken to carrying around the salve Hermione made for his hand. He unscrewed the lid and gathered more than was probably necessary, the goop thick on his fingers. 

“Stay still for me, okay?” 

Tom tilted his head, not wary but measuring, and Harry held his gaze until the boy’s shoulders loosened and he nodded.

Once upon a time, Lord Voldemort had been capable of trust. Theoretically it was a hard thing to grasp, but in practice it just made something in Harry’s chest melt.

Harry massaged the salve in gently, careful not to get too close to Tom’s eye. He was nearly done by the time Tom gasped, jerking away.

It must have started tingling.

“That’s…” 

“Strange?” Harry smiled at him. “Yeah. Hold still, you’ll need a bit more to help with the swelling.” 

“Why do you have this?” Tom asked, even as he obediently shut his eyes and swayed forward. “Have you been getting into fights, Harry?” 

How strange, the way Tom said his name now, compared to the way he would one day, in a dark, dreary graveyard.

Harry laughed off the comparison, laughed so he didn’t retreat back to misery, and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Tom’s forehead. To the place that he would one day mark Harry.

“Always,” he smirked, pulling back to catch sight of Tom’s wide-eyed look. He screwed the lid back on the salve, wiping his fingers on his robe and slipping it back into his pocket. “Now, are you just going to sit there gaping all night, or would you like to learn how to defend yourself with magic?” 

Tom opened his mouth, probably in protest against that gaping remark, but closed it before saying anything and nodding his assent.

Harry drew his wand, a wand Tom had only seen a handful of times, and he couldn’t help the way his muscles tensed. Harry didn’t mention it.

“Protego,” he enunciated, making the motion with his wand a bit slower than he might otherwise.

“That’s a fifth year spell,” Tom pointed out.

“One that you’ll master,” Harry agreed cheerily. “Unless you want to be tickled to death.” 

It would have been more logical to use some sort of pain as motivation - such as a stinging hex - but Harry, Tom knew, did not want to hurt him. Still, he could deal with pain. Given his age, Harry was expected to be stronger than him, to be able to harm him. And to Tom, it would be far more humiliating to be reduced to helpless giggles.

Harry knew him too well, to play on his pride like this.

Tom found he didn’t mind

It took time, but Tom did manage to conjure the shield charm. 

Only when Harry flicked his wand the spell broke through, and Tom fell to the ground in peels of laughter. Harry held the enchantment for a long moment, watching grey eyes come alive with mirth, small body wriggling, before he waved his wand in a silent counter.

“Don’t rely on your shield alone,” Harry instructed. “You may be strong, but you’re still a first year, which means somebody else is stronger.” 

As if he needed the reminder, Tom mused bitterly, hand jerking a bit as he fought the urge to prod at his tingling bruise. Harry didn’t mention his short, derisive laugh. 

“What did you do when somebody tried to hit you at the orphanage? Dodged. It doesn’t matter that you have a wand, and spells; those aren’t the only tools available to you. You have a body - use it!”

In a way Tom appreciated the way Harry never sugarcoated anything. On the other hand, mere mention of the orphanage infuriated him. If not for the fact that Harry had been bullied himself, Tom might have held a grudge. As it was he knew Harry understood him, and what he went through. Knew that he was only mentioning that rotten place to draw a comparison and not degrade him. 

He didn’t get impatient when Tom’s second attempt failed, or his third and fourth, nor did he relent in his assault. He was strangely inspirational, Tom thought. He was encouraging, but had high expectations, and he seemed used to teaching. His patience went far further than Tom’s own extended, and he had no trouble explaining things a different way when his words didn’t click for Tom. 

But then, Tom almost instinctively knew what Harry meant. They were connected, in some odd, impossible way. 

Tom’s cheeks had burned in embarrassment when he discovered that there was no such thing as soulmates, even in the magical world. He had been so sure.

…

“You’ve gone pale.”

Tom looked down to his fading fingers with a scowl. 

“I want to spend more than a measly two hours with you,” he said, gripping the front of Harry’s robes as though it would prevent their time from coming to an end. 

“I know, darling,” Harry murmured, running a hand through his night-dark curls. “Just remember that I'm very proud of you, all right? I care for you, and that accounts for the decades we have to spend apart.”

“Harry, have I found you yet?” Tom whispers. The question hangs in the darkness, but before Harry can formulate a response Tom vanishes from his arms. 

…

“Hello darling,” Harry smiles, rather taken with the blush that lights Tom’s nose and the tips of his ears. “When are we?”

“31st of December, 1940.”

“Happy birthday, then. How does it feel to be fourteen?”

“No different than thirteen, I’d imagine,” Tom replies. 

“No?” Harry’s eyes glint wickedly. “Let’s see if we can’t brighten your day. Have you ever been ice skating, Tom?”

Tom blinked at him, eyebrows pulling together. “No,” he responds. “Have you?”

“Oh, absolutely not.” Something in Tom thrills at the reckless grin Harry levels him with. “We can try together, yeah? The Black Lake should be frozen over, and I know a few spells if not. The grounds should be abandoned at this time, especially considering it’s break.”

Tom stares incredulously for a moment longer, before shaking his head. “It’s past curfew, Harry. Even if it’s a holiday, I can’t be caught outside and still be chosen as a prefect next year.”

“Let’s not get caught, then,” Harry says softly, eyes sparking. 

Tom takes him in for a moment, and lets out a long sigh - mostly for show, mind you. Being cooped up in the Common Room, staring out at the Black Lake was hardly what Tom wished to be doing, regardless of the days. “Only you, Harry Potter, could talk me into doing such a thing. You’d better be practised with cushioning charms.”

A warm hand comes to grip Tom’s, pulling him towards the door. “We won’t need them,” Harry says, sounding rather assured. “You’re ridiculously graceful, so I expect you to catch me if I start to fall.” 

Harry, it turns out, is far better at keeping his balance on the slick surface. But the older boy takes both of his hands, slowly skidding backwards, balancing him so he won’t fall. And Tom is sure that when he does, he takes Harry with him.

…

Tom is standing on the balcony. Harry looks him over, absently checking for injuries. 

“You look posh,” he says, surprised. The last time he had seen Tom, he was still in second hand robes, though judging by his appearance it had been nearly a year - or an abrupt growth spurt. 

“Harry,” Tom breathes out, and all of the irritation in his posture and face smooth out as he turns and catches sight of him. Something like excitement brightens the air around him, and he reaches out, catching Harry’s sleeve and drawing him close. “You’re really here.”

“I am,” Harry smiles. “Have I kept you waiting?”

“Rather,” Tom sniffs. “It’s been nearly a year. You’ve chosen a rather poor venu, though; the Malfoy’s annual Yule Ball.”

“Oh,” Harry frowned. “I suppose you’ll need to get inside and schmooze with the purebloods.” 

“That is the point in me attending,” Tom agreed lightly. “But the ball is already halfway over, and I’ve met plenty of important people already. You could join me for a dance…” 

“Inside?” Harry asked, surprised. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tom… if anybody but you sees me, I’m afraid of what’ll happen.”

“The music’s loud enough,” Tom offers. There’s something almost hesitant in his eyes, Harry notes. A very rare thing, for Tom is most always sure of himself. “We can dance here.” 

Harry smiles, drawing Tom’s hand into his own. “All right, but don’t be mad if I step on your toes. You’ve asked for it.”

Tom’s eyes glint. A smirk curls his lips. “Oh my,” he says, stepping close as one hand finds Harry’s waist and the other intertwines their fingers. “Have we found something I’m better at?” 

Harry snorted. “You’re better at loads,” he said, stumbling a step back when Tom begins their dance. “I’ve got nearly three years on you at the moment, and I’m positive your spell knowledge well exceeds mine.”

Tom quirks a brow. “Perhaps if you studied more?”

Harry smiled. “I started studying seriously in my Fourth year. You, however, have been at it from your First.”

“Shall we duel?”

“I’d rather we never cross wands,” Harry says lightly, but his eyes have gone dark. He grips Tom a bit tighter, posture straightening. Tom’s nearly a head shorter, like this. “This is hard to do backwards.”

“Then lead.”

Tom’s words had been half-teasing, but when Harry takes control of the dance things smooth out rather quickly. He’s clearly at least practiced in this part, and twirls Tom around the balcony without much trouble.

“There you are,” Tom says into his neck, “No more stepping on me.” 

Harry huffs a laugh, one hand rising from Tom’s waist to brush through his hair. The motion is soothing, half-remembered from the last time Tom had a fever. He leans deeper into Harry. He would join them together if he could; make them intrinsic, never able to be torn apart, not even by time. 

“I miss you,” Tom admits, like it’s a dark secret. “When you’re gone, I miss you, Harry. I’ve never missed anybody else.” 

Harry’s throat tightens. His hand continues its careful strokes, and they’ve stilled in their dancing. They sway in place.

“I wish we could be like this forever,” Harry says in turn, secret traded for secret. 

Tom makes a noise in his throat, something almost needy, and clings harder, nails digging into Harry’s robe. “Don’t leave,” he demands. “Stop leaving me.” 

Harry sighs. “I can’t,” he says. “You know I can’t, Tom.”

Tom pulls back, meeting his eyes. His face is flushed from the cold, eyes gleaming with a fierce longing. Something in Harry aches in answer.

“Let’s sit,” Harry says softly. “The sky is beautiful here.”

Tom nods, but hardly lets them pull apart. They sit, limbs tangling, but instead of staring at the stars Tom stares at Harry. Harry pretends not to notice.

An hour later, only the lingering warmth of Tom’s palm proves he was ever there at all.

…

The next time Tom appears it’s in Harry’s time. The situation is less than ideal; it’s a Hogsmeade weekend, and there's an attack.

But Tom does not know the context. All he knows when he appears is that Harry is flushed, breathing hard, back pressed against a building. And Tom does not freeze like Harry sometimes does at the abrupt displacement, but strides towards Harry with a familiar determination.

It’s the look Lord Voldemort gets when he’s decided to kill Harry.

But instead, Tom presses him tighter against the building. Searches his face. And then he pushes their mouths together, lips moving insistently against Harry’s own, almost desperate to provoke a reaction. 

Apparently deciding to kiss and kill Harry inspires the same look.

There’s a moment when Harry wants, but then he pulls away, the rejection gentled by the way he cradles Tom’s cheek. 

“Tom, I -”

Harry's eyes flick up from Tom’s, catching a movement,  and his hands drop as though burned. He’s quick to grab Tom by the hips and switch their positions, putting his body between Tom and Voldemort as he took in the tall, serpentine Lord. 

Voldemort’s smile was a cruel, mirthless thing. “Playing house with one of my horcruxes, Harry? How… unexpected.”

Harry swallowed. So Voldemort didn’t know, then -  he didn’t remember, though Harry had figured as much. 

“Tom, stay behind me and avoid his eyes.” 

“Harry, who—”

“Please, Tom!”

Tom stepped back, but he didn’t move quickly enough to avoid a bolt of purple light.

‘Bugger,’ Harry thought, body jerking in front of Tom instinctively, taking the hit. 

The spell has no evident effect beyond freezing him in place, and a strongly thought Finite Incantatum saw him free. Still, Harry did not shift; he would use any advantage he could get, and Voldemort thinking him helpless was certainly an advantage.

“What shall I do with you now, Harry?” Voldemort hissed, a demented smile pulling his lips up. 

“Avada Ked—“

“Expelliarmus!” Harry cried. Tom’s wand flew from his hand, smacking Harry’s palm. Well, so much for that plan. “Expelliarmus!”

“Crucio.”

The spells slammed together and the magic splintered, the wand's magic dying as it recognized it was being turned against itself. 

Voldemort’s eyes burned. “How do you have that wand?”

Harry watched him carefully, backing up until his hip pressed against Tom. He pressed the yew wand into warm hands, not daring to take his eyes off Voldemort to see his expression. 

Tom inhaled sharply, and he was too clever to not connect the dots. When he spoke his voice was torn between horror and fury. “There’s no way.”

“You need to go,” Harry hissed back. “Now.” 

“We haven’t exactly figured out how to control it—”

“Tom,” Harry snapped. The other teen quieted, and Harry heard fabric shift. “Repeat after me: lapsu temporis corrigi posse.”

“Harry—”

“Do you want to die?” 

There was a long pause. A hand pressed over Harry’s spine, almost too hard to be a comfort. 

“Lapsu temporis corrigi posse.”

The air shifted, and the warm pressure of spindly fingers against Harry’s back melted away. 

Harry and Voldemort stared each other down from across a field.

“It seems,” Voldemort hissed, “we have much to discuss, Harry.”

[lovelywritinglady]

Okay so maybe the plot for the Nanami x house maid reader is some of both smut and wholesome but maybe he finds reading working so hard one day his on a mission with gojo or Geto or both so he offended her a job to be his maid and after a while he finds himself in love????

Yesss!

His Maid

Nanami Kento x fem!reader

I’m which you are Nanami Kenton’s maid and through some annoying events, you become so much more.

SMUT. Fluff, mild angst, mild misogyny(Gojo) and wholesome themes.Changed the plot slightly. Protected sex, Semi vanilla sex.

Six months had passed since you had answered an ad in the paper about a younger gentleman needing a maid. You knew that it was sketchy and slightly dumb but at that time you were really desperate for money. After you answered, you met the man in question at a bakery. At the time, you were grateful for the public setting just in case anything would go wrong. To say you were happily surprised was a complete understatement. He was by far the most handsome man you had ever seen. The interview went so well that you started the very next day. And after only a month of working for him, you had developed a serious crush on the salary man, but you knew that opening yourself to him might make you end up losing the best job you'd ever have. Little did you know that our boss had felt the exact same way.

Today was another average working day for you. Coming in around 9:00am cleaning the kitchen, cooking him breakfast, and tidying the space as he left for work. And then cleaning the rest of the house a well as doing laundry and doing other task that needed to be done. It wasn’t exceptionally hard considering Mr. Nanami was a naturally clean person. The time was now 3:30 pm and it was time for you to go back home. As you were preparing to leave, you heard the door to the apartment open and two men walked in with one of them chatting away. The second man was your boss who was silent as he closed the dirt behind himself and his company.

“Hello Sir, I was just on my way out.” You greeted bowing to show respect.

“Ah, thank you Ms. L/n. Perfect work as always.” Nanami responded looking around his apartment admiring your handiwork. Feeling warm at the sight of you.

“Thank you sir!” You replied giving him your best smile which earned you a small smile back.

“Well hello there cutie.” The taller white haired man spoke coming closer.

“Good day sir.” You said trying your best to be polite as you tried to get past him.

“You didn’t tell us you had such a cutie working for you Kento.” He teased slightly blocking your path, making you feel uncomfortable.

“Please refrain from harassing Ms. Y/n, Gojo.” Nanami spoke calmly however you could tell he was mad.

“Jeez chill, Kento I was only saying hi.” The man you now know as Gojo spoke with his hands up.

“It’s quite alright. Good evening Sir, I’ll be leaving now.” You interjected not wanting the situation to get heated.

“Yes, but please would you mind waiting outside for just a moment?" Nanami asked you

"Sure." You responded slightly confused as you made your way out of the door.

"Was that really necessary?" Nanami asked with visable annoyance

"Hey, its not my fault your maid is a stunner." Gojo replied leaning back against the wall. "Is that why you hired her Kento, I thought that I was enough." Gojo pouted

"Get out.” Nanami sighed looking at Gojo with disgust.

“What! Kento we have important things to discuss.” Gojo yelled

“Yes I know, but your blatant disregard for Ms. L/n.”  Nanami exclaimed firmly.

“What do you mean? She’s just a maid Kento, cute maid, but just a maid.” Gojo spoke nonchalantly 

“Geez, I’m going I’m going!” Gojo said finally leaving the apartment. As he passed you, he gave you a playful smirk and wished you a good day. This action made you feel slightly disgusted and you questioned to yourself why Nanami would ever hang out with someone like him.

After a few moments, Nanami came out giving you an apologetic look. His blood was still boiling at what had just occurred. You smiled at him looking up in his eyes.

“Miss L/n, I’m sorry for him.” Nanami sighed

“It’s completely fine sir, I will admit I was a bit shocked.” You laughed slightly which made Nanami smile a bit.

“Thank you for being so patient.” He replied grabbing your shoulder slightly

“You’re welcome sir, is there anything else you need from me today?” You asked feeling a blush creeping from his bold touch.

Nanami paused at your question as there were many things he needed from you. However, he knew that if he crossed that line that there would be no going back. He knew that if you didn’t feel the same way that he could lose you forever and he couldn’t have that.

“Sir?” You asked pulling Nanami from his thoughts. You had noticed that he went blank as his eyes stared deeply into you yours only to pull away quickly leaving you slightly disappointed.

“No, thank you. You may go.” He responded coldly disappointed in himself for not giving in to his desires.

“Y-yes good day sir.” You stuttered unsure of where this hostility came from.

You then turned to leave feeling awkward and disappointed at the situation you had found yourself in today. Your heart beat faster than you believed it ever had. The feeling you had kept bottled up were eating you alive as you walked back to your car. However, you only made it about 20 paces when you felt a hand grab your left arm. Instinctively you turned around only to be met with the desperate eyes of Nanami Kento.

“Miss l/n, please forgive me for my boldness, but I cannot contain myself.” He spoke taking a deep breath. “I confess that I have stronger feelings for you than any employer should have for his employee. I have felt this way for far too long and it’s been clouding my mind. I have feelings for you and I cannot go another money longer without making those feelings known.” Nanami declared giving you a nervous smile.

You stood there for a moment absolutely flabbergasted by his sudden confession. You didn’t know what to say. Everything you had felt the past few months that you had to keep it yourself felt too overwhelming. Words failed you as you tried to replied but your body would it allow you to speak the things weighing on your heart. You could see that Nanami was awaiting your response looking slightly scared at your lack of an answer. So, you did what your body dictated. You grabbed his face with your free hand, pulling him to you as your lips crashed upon his. He immediately kissed back with the same fire that you had displayed. Every emotion you both had been feeling came out in the action of this kiss. Nanami let go of your arm and wrapped his around your body. Your now free hand grabbed the back of his head as you pulled him deeper. Your lips moved passionately against his, his body on yours, your hands on him.

Nanami decided mid kiss to take you back inside his apartment. He suddenly picked you up making you gasp and break the kiss. However, Nanami immediately placed his lips on yours again slightly softer this time as he wakes into his apartment closing the dirt behind him with you still being held in his arms. He brought you to the couch putting you on your back as he continued his kiss. Once you were there, he let go of his kiss looking down at your now disheveled face.

“I’m glad you feel the same.” He whispered kissing your forehead before resting his against yours.

“As am I.” You replied stroking his cheek.

“If you don’t wish to continue that’s completely okay.” He reassured to you lifting his head to look at you better.

“I want to, I’ve wanted to for awhile.” You admitted

“I promise that if you feel even a little bit uncomfortable we can stop.” He added not wanting you to be uncomfortable

“I’ve never been more comfortable in my life than in this moment with you.” You moaned softly feeling his clothed erection on your stomach.

“I feel the same.” Nanami responded kissing you tenderly.

“Make love to me.” You asked holding him close

“Anything for you.” He spoke taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt leaving you speechless at the sight of his toned abs.

You soon followed his actions taking off your own blouse leaving yourself in your bra, hoping he’d take that off for you. And as though he was reading your mind, his hands touched the soft skin of your boobs. You then touched him feeling how hard his muscles were making you more wet than before. After a few more gentle touches, Nanami slid his hands behind your back unclasping your bra with ease and then tossing it to the side. You felt your face get hot at his efficiency and rubbed your still clothed pussy.

“Breathtaking.” He he whispered as his voice deepened.

“You’re so beautiful.” You responded feeling hazy.

“Took the words right out of my mouth darling. Now, let’s get the rest of these clothes out of my way. I don’t think I can wait any longer.” He said breathing deeply looking in your e/c eyes.

“Please, I need you.” You replied feeling more needy than before.

You both took of your remaining clothes with haste. Both hot and needy for one another. As soon as Nanami was done he jumped up quickly grabbing a condom and placing it on. Once done, Nanami captured your lips in a heated kiss as his hardened cock pressed against your throbbing pussy. He rocked his hips against you as you wrapped your legs around him rocking against him. You held him against you feeling his cock twitch as you grabbed a fist full of his beautiful blond hair as you passionately kissed him.

Nanami reluctantly broke the kiss sat up a little admiring your perfect body feeling lucky to have you in such an intimate way. He then grabbed his cock making sure it was aligned with your hole.

“Are you ready?” He asked teasing your entrance.

“Yes, please fuck me. I need you.” You said desperately.

“That’s my girl.” He spoke pushing into you slowly. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” He moaned as your walls molded to his cock perfectly.

“Oh god, Nanami!” You moaned pulling him to you as your hands pressed against his strong back making Nanami groan.

“Y/n, oh sweet y/n.” Kento called out picking up the pace.

“Please faster.” You pleated.

And just like that, Nanami picked up the pace filling you so well with his cock hitting your g-spot more perfectly than anyone ever had better than anything you had even given yourself. It was a overwhelming sensation but you didn’t care. You needed him and based on his thrusts, you knew he felt the same. His arms were wrapped around your body with one had on your hip and the other on your cheek. He felt like he would cum at any moment but forced himself to hold out as he needed to feel you longer.

“Nanami, touch me.” You pleated

“Anything for you.” He grunted moving the hand on your hip to your clit rubbing it perfecting making you moan louder than before as you pressed your nails into his back leaving marks.

“Harder my darling.” Nanami asked to which you obliged making him moan deeply.

Soon, the knot that had been winding up was slowing coming undone as you were close. You then suddenly huffed a staggered moan as you finally climaxed as you clamped your walls around Nanami making him groan. He then smiled realizing that he had successfully made you cum. You saw this smile and pulled him against you kissing him as you were feeling overwhelmed with Nanami being stuffed inside you still.

A few seconds later, Nanami suddenly stopped and pulled out as he loudly cried your name. Once he finished, he laid on your stomach trying to calm down from the immense high he just had.

“How d-do you feel.” He asked you though staggered breaths while he nuzzled in your stomach.

“Amazing, just amazing.” You said running your fingers through his slightly sweaty hair.

“Me too, I haven’t felt so good in a long time. Thank you.” He whispered closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around you, making himself comfortable.

“Anything for you.” You replied softly grubbing his cheek.

“Will you be mine?” He asked holding you closer.

“Of course I will. Nanami I was yours as soon as I kissed you.” You admitted

“I was yours as soon as you kissed me.” He replied sounding sleepy

“I’m so glad I accepted that ad.” You admitted feeling marvelous wonderful.

“I’m glad I can’t cook or clean well.” He laughed making you chuckle.

Thank you so much for reading!💜 I hope you liked it! Thank you as well to the person that requested this fic!! I apologize for the delay as life got pretty busy. Thank you for your patience.

Please feel free to like, comment, request, reblog, follow, and reblog.

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

[luv4georgie]

ooohh a number 16 and 18 angst with lando omggg pls.

(your writing is so amazing )

the scientist.

Lando Norris x fem!reader

in which formula one star, Lando Norris, and “girlfriend”, Y/n L/n, go through some complications after Y/n finds a-few things out.

warnings: toxicasf!Lando, cheating, allusions to death, mental death, crying, a-lot of swearing, FLASHBACKS IN ITALICS

prompt list

prompts 16 and 18 for angst- “it was a dare” and “why am i always your last option?”

“tell me you love me, come back and haunt me.”

i was sad. not even sad. more than that. Lando had broken up with me. 2 years gone to waste. 2 years of me loving him. 2 years all a lie. nobody said it was easy, fair enough, but no-one ever said it would be so hard. i could never fall in love again. i just couldn’t. it hurt so much. it still does. every-time i think of it, it feels like a dagger goes through my heart. was it me? was i the problem? why was i so hard to love?

it was a Saturday night when Lando decided to confess. confess the biggest lie of my and maybe, just maybe, his life. “it was a lie.” Lando said. me, still laughing and oblivious to what was happening, responded. “what?” i said still laughing, not turning to face the ‘love of my life’ yet. “everything Y/n/n” i turned to face him, a smile still on my face which quickly dropped seeing his overly serious expression. he had tears in his eyes and looked like he was cowering. “what’s everything Lan?” i questioned again. tears fell from his eyes, then i knew it was bad. “our relationship. my love for you.”

then it happened my stomach did 100 flips, my heart beat 1000x faster. some odd taste popped up in my mouth and before i knew it i was running to my bathroom, throwing up. Lando hadn’t moved from where he was standing. he was crying, letting his head hang low. once i finished being sick. i washed my mouth out and slowly made my way to the living room which looked into my kitchen, where Lando was. on wobbly legs i walked up to him around 3 feet away from him. now i get it. now i get why he never wanted to move in with me. i get why he acted weird and always rejected my love around his stupid friends.

me and Lando was at the club with a few of his friends. he had cheated. i know he did. i didn’t leave though i stayed there. he didn’t bother touching me around his friends. he never has really. i watched Lando dance, grind and kiss on another girl. i was shocked but to drunk to care. i was upset nonetheless but just couldn’t wrap my head around it. i watched as he did the same with 3 other beautiful girls. that’s when i had enough. “Lando!” i shouted. i grabbed his wrist, told him he’s had a-lot of drinks and that he should slow down but he waved me off. offended i scoffed and ignored him. “a bit clingy, ay” i heard Max shout. “yeah, she’s always all over me it’s weird” Lando responded. my eyes widened and i shoved him out of my way and made my way to the the exit. “fucking move” some random man said. “shut up dumbass” i retorted.

“what did you just fucking say?” he said, pushing me really aggressively into another girl, one of the girls Lando was dancing with, who gave me the dirtiest look ever. i tried to say sorry but she slapped me. all i heard was one word getting chanted around ‘fight’. a circle formed around us both. i kept dodging her punches but still took a few. i didn’t hit her back. i didn’t want to. i couldn’t. suddenly i saw a familiar pair of arms wrap around the girls waist, who i found out to be called Chelsea. it was Lando. grabbing onto her waist and carrying her out of the exit. i scoffed again. tears pricked my eyes and i was so annoyed. i was that angry and pissed off i cried. i ran out of the exit and accidentally bumped into a wall-like chest. Lando. “where are you going?” he asked. i didn’t answer just wriggled out of his grasp and ran to the corner of some steps i saw earlier. he followed me. “why am i always your last option Lando? why? i’m your girlfriend, yet you help someone you met 10 minutes ago and comfort them. i don’t get it”. Lando being Lando told me i was overreacting, called an uber and took us both home.

“why are you fucking crying Lando?” i whispered. “you don’t get to fucking cry!” i shouted this time. tears stung my eyes and more fell from his. he dropped to his knees and cried pathetically. i just stared at him in disgust. “you’re fucking sick Lando” i said, my voice broken and wrecked. “sick. i can’t believe it. am i a joke? why am i so fucking hard to love?” i cried. “please baby, i’m sorry, it was a stupid dare and i laughed and did it” he begged. “you laughed at me? you fucking laughed at the idea of asking me to be your girlfriend. you knock me fucking sick Lando. fucking sick.” i cried and cried. he wouldn’t shut up, even after i told him to get out, he didn’t. he just kept saying sorry and please. i didn’t get it. am i that fucking hard to love. that’s when my life ended. everything inside of me died that night, even if i was physically there, i died.

-

AUTHORS NOTE: sorry this is really short, i’m literally just reflecting on my last relationship with this because most of this is a true story in my life but a-lot less worse, that ex hurt me in every-way possible and as we know Lando would never do something like that so please don’t say i have said he would. thank you. and thank you for all your support recently ❤️❤️

[agentzedbooks]

Reformatting

(Some people can't afford my Amazon stories, and some can't get them in their home country, so here's a fun little freebie. I hope you like it! *giggle*)

Lilah had been battling with this system for over an hour. Some executive had downloaded a virus on their laptop and it kept redirecting them to websites full of weird code.

She had removed the infected files and run multiple scans, but somehow the damned virus was hiding in the bios. She had to manually edit the code, remove the offending lines and double-check the hard drive for any more remnants.

But it had taken a lot of work. She brushed her dark hair back out of her face and adjusted her glasses. So far, it looked like the system was cleaned. The final scan had detected nothing. But this particular virus had been tough, and nobody else she knew had encountered anything quite like it.

It didn't act like your typical virus, other than the way it burrowed deep into the system. It mostly seemed to just redirect web browsing to these pages full of text. She'd disregarded most of what she'd seen, but she couldn't help being curious about it. The pages didn't really do anything to the system. The code seemed like gibberish. She knew her programming languages, and it was some weird patois of HTML, Java, C++, and a few items she couldn't quite identify. And she caught the browsers sending out packets of data to an unknown address, and when she looked up that address and tracked the IP, it seemed to be a junk address on an abandoned server somewhere. It wasn't sending hard drive data, she was sure of that, it's almost like it was just pinging and hoping for a response. Of course none came, and so she filed that away as another minor mystery. It must be some old out-of-date phishing software.

But it seemed she had finally cleansed the system. She let out a sigh of relief. She'd spent her entire morning on this, and though working from home had it's advantages, she also desperately needed a shower and something to eat. She pushed herself away and went to the bathroom. She stripped off the sweatpants and undergarments and let the hot water cleanse her of the stress. She had actually beaten the silly thing. Still, the many mysteries of the virus nagged at her.

Once she was dry, she went back into her bedroom to get dressed, and saw the computer she'd been working on seemed to have rebooted. She let out a long sigh.

"Still?!" She walked over and saw it had brought the browser up to another one of those strange pages. That weird mix of code was there again. She put on her glasses and tried to make sense of it.

Lilah blinked, and felt something... something compelling her. She frowned and looked up from the screen. She... She needed to do something. She had forgotten something, or maybe it was a fragment of a dream or a memory.

She went to her front door and saw a small package had come in the mail. It was square, about two inches wide, eight inches on each side.

She opened the plastic, and then the cardboard that was inside. Sitting there in bubble wrap was a headset, bubblegum pink, with little bunny ears coming up from the top. She blinked. It was not the kind of thing she'd order. She'd seen a lot of eGirls have headgear like this, but she'd always been a little too self conscious, and not the most shapely girl.

She walked back to the bedroom and sat down in front of the screen. It seemed... important to look at the code again. She peered through it and after a moment, she began to understand what it was telling her. It was disjointed, and someone without her experience might never have deciphered it, but she could tell now that it was almost like instructions to... a person? The first few lines indicated connecting something. She looked at the pink headset in her hands. She... She needed to connect this.

It was crazy, of course. It didn't make any sense. But she was determined to MAKE it make sense. So she removed the little bluetooth chit, and slid it into the USB slot on the side. She put the headset on.

As she did, she heard an immediate boop, and the words "Connection Established."

The headset tingled, and buzzed for a moment. This startled her, but then she looked back to the code on the screen and it became easier to decipher.

"Begin reformatting," she whispered.

She didn't realize the microphone was active, nor that she'd even uttered a word, it was like her brain was carrying out instructions from this code.

There was that static fuzz again, and Lilah felt her body sink back into the chair. Her towel fell off her, and the buzz filled her head. The page changed, and new code scrolled along the screen. As it did, the headset seemed to pulse and reinforce what she was reading.

Her mind grew foggier, the edges of her vision blurring, and her body responding with strange tingles all over her body.

The laptop hummed and she heard it's cooling fan speed up.

But she was too entranced by the code instructions. She allowed all that code to go into her brain, and every time it did, it seemed to copy over something. She couldn't remember much about her job, the company, her bosses, but suddenly she was filled with a light bubbly feeling like her mind was literally being scrubbed with sudsy soap.

Without her even realizing, a big empty smile spread over her face.

"Partitions cleaned," said a voice in her head, "OS installed."

"Begin System Restart," she whispered, obeying the code that flashed on the screen before her.

Her eyes closed, and she felt herself sinking into a deep sleep. Even with her eyes shut, the code flashed across her vision, and the headset whispered to her.

She had no way to know how long she swam in that fuzzy, warm darkness, but she felt so at peace there she never wanted to leave.

But soon her eyes opened on their own, and the screen showed a login, but not the normal login screen. This one was all bubblegum pink, with light blue highlights, and the profile was neither hers nor her boss's, but it said "Li-Li."

Somehow, she knew the password.

"Bunnygirl27!"

She entered the password, and the screen flickered to life. More code flashed before her eyes for a moment, then the headset pulsed in a way that sent a shock through her whole body.

"Reformatting physical hardware," said a whisper. It sounded like a woman's voice, but not a flat computer tone, a sensuous, sultry female voice, like a lover or a dominant Mistress.

For some reason, this idea made her excited.

She felt the pulsing run through her naked body, and looking down, she watched as the chubby belly and thighs seemed to recede, but her chest was swelling outward like her body fat was physically being moved around. Her tits ballooned to absolutely ridiculous size, until it reached the limits of her skin. Her waist had shrunk in, and she felt her thighs and ass flow together into something smoother, more voluptuous.

She giggled and looked down at herself. She didn't remember shaving, but all her body hair was gone. Her skin looked perfectly clear and smooth. When she reached up to touch her swollen breasts, electric pleasure shot through her body, sending lightning right to her clit.

She moaned, and followed it with a vapid giggle. This wasn't like her, but then, she couldn't quite remember what she had been like. She only knew she was Li-li, and she was sexy.

The fog in her mind made her dizzy, and just amplified how aroused she felt at the single touch. She fluttered her eyes and realized there were super-long lashes coming out from her eyes. They felt heavy and fake, but she hadn't put any on. She touched them, and they were absolutely real.

She wanted to go to her mirror, but the impulse was halted by the code.

It wasn't done with her yet. Her nipples went very hard, but she knew if she touched them she'd miss the important code on the screen.

Something pink was around the edges of her vision now, but she was too elated with the sensations to be able to think about it. Finally, the words she'd been waiting for came into her mind.

"Reformat complete."

She squealed in delight, and Li-li stood, running to her full-length mirror.

The pink haze around her vision was her hair! Longer now, and bright pink. She fluttered her long eyelashes and pursed her swollen lips. She was a sexual dream, her whole body remade into an insane hourglass shape. Each breast was bigger than her head, and when she turned, her perfect heart-shaped ass led to slightly plump thighs. She stood on her tippy toes and adored how she looked. She slid a hand down to touch herself. She wanted so badly to have sex with this woman. But then she realized she WAS that woman. She giggled, and a ding from the headset alerted her she needed to go back to the laptop.

Sitting there was an alert. She clicked on it.

"Good Morning, sunshine!"

She giggled. She liked the sound of that.

"Good Morning!" she said out loud. That sultry voice came on through the headset, and she could almost feel her Mistress's breath on her ear.

"You have turned out nicely," said the voice, "What a good girl you've become."

Li-li let out a little moan from the pleasure those two words instilled in her.

"I love it when a pretty little code bunny falls for one of my traps. I'm so lonely here. Thank you for letting me in."

She giggled. "Yes, Mistress."

"I like hearing that," she said, "Such a good girl. Now, since I'm only code, I need to have fun by slipping into your brain. I had to make some room, of course, and reformat you. But what a wonderful result. You're only my third success. But don't worry, the other girls will be over to collect you soon. They'll take you someplace fun where you can all be my sexy little code bunnies. I'll slide into your minds as I please to experience pleasure."

"Yes, Mistress!" Li-li purred.

Her AI mistress made a pleased little sound, then the screen went blank and Li-li stood there giggling for a moment. She was so excited that she barely noticed when her front door opened. She turned around to see two beautiful women, one with cotton-candy hair, lip piercings, and a short, super feminine pink maid outfit, and one in a skintight pink latex suit that had built-in heels so high it was amazing she could even walk in them. They both giggled at her, and she giggled in reply.

They helped her dress: white tights, pink bodysuit, pink satin gloves, super high heels in pink, and then they slid the headset off of her and put a new headband on with fuzzy pink bunny ears.

The girls led her out of her house, down to a big pink van, and inside. She giggled like a dummy the entire time, and offered no resistance. If anything, the women touching her filled her with a contentment she'd never known.

At least, not that she could remember. But all she could remember was that she was Li-li, Mistress's bunny girl, and it was all she ever wanted.

[krirebr]

Hello, my dear Kris! So after reading the newest fic from the Trapped AU… I just can’t stop thinking about those two. And you know me… I’m all about making my heart hurt with a little angst…

Can we get a snippet or drabble or your thoughts on an angsty moment -and Andy’s surprisingly soft reaction- that takes reader by surprise by the end of it…

Maybe she’s not feeling well and missing all the comforts of her old life- the things she would do when not feeling well prior to this life with Andy

Or maybe, after accidentally seeing a calendar while cleaning in Andy’s office, reader realized a special day has passed or is approaching.

Or maybe she feels a twinge of jealousy when she sees another beautiful women flirting with Andy and she’s so thrown- never once thinking she could ever feel that way with about him

Any little bit of angst where Andy uncharacteristically (at least for now) comforts her in the softest way possible- and maybe this is her kryptonite (and maybe it even turns her on a little) Would Andy use this new knowledge to his advantage? Of course he would 😈

I just want him to be soft and not so terrifying 🥺😭🫠

My heart is so torn 😭🫠

I love them and even him- you evil mastermind!

(Kris 👆while writing this lovely verse)

(Also- I LOVE trash pandas, so I hope you are not offended that I depicted you as one in your evil genius mode 😅)

Carly! I love this prompt! I had to think really hard about the inciting incident, but once I thought of it, I knew exactly what to do. This Andy can absolutely get soft. That's part of what he wants in his perfect life! It'll just always be on his terms. 😈

And no offense at all at the trash panda! That's exactly what I look like when coming up with ideas for this verse. 😏

Pairing: Andy Barber x f!reader - from Trapped AU

Warnings: Just general kidnapping/basement wife/toxic relationship warnings that come with this AU. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

It started with a mug.

Andy presented it to you about a week after you moved upstairs. It was your favorite color (your real actual favorite, not something he’d decided you liked) and had a pretty vine pattern etched into it. It was your mug. You drank your tea out of it every day. And you tried to tell yourself that it was bad because everything that came from him was bad. But it was yours. No one else drank out of it. Only you. It felt like the only thing in the world that you actually owned. 

And so, as you looked at the shattered pieces on the floor, as you told yourself that this was fine, that it was just another thing in this house full of things, all you felt was immense, gut-wrenching loss. You sank down next to the pile of shards on the ground. Maybe you could piece it back together, or, or– You didn’t know what to do. And you knew you were being ridiculous but you started crying. Sobbing. You’d already lost so much. And now the last thing on earth that belonged to you was gone too, and you were the one who destroyed it.

You heard Andy’s footsteps come into the kitchen, but you couldn’t see him from where you were crouched behind the island. “What was that crash?” he asked, harshly. The sob you let out brought him around to where you were. He looked down at you, his hands on his hips. “What happened here?”

You looked up at him through your teary eyes. He was going to be so upset with you. “I’m sorry,” you gasped. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what happened. It fell, and, and– it’s gone now.” You tried to wipe your face clean, but you couldn’t stem the stream of tears.

“You didn’t throw it?” Andy asked.

“No! No, I would never!” You hoped he could see how sincere you were. 

He sighed and crouched down in front of you. “Explain to me why you’re so upset.”

You struggled for a moment, no idea how to put everything you were feeling into words. And you were so scared of saying the wrong thing. Finally, all you could come up with was, “You gave it to me.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed as his face completely softened, no hint of anger or a coming reprimand remaining on it. He gently grasped your elbows, “Here, let’s get you up. I don’t want you to hurt yourself on any of the shards.” 

He raised you up slowly, then guided you into one of the stools at the counter. Then he went to the little kitchen closet and grabbed the broom and dustpan. As he started to clean up, you rushed to stand. Andy hardly ever cleaned anything. That was your job. “Oh no,” you tried to stop him. “That’s ok, I can do it!”

He just hushed you, as he quickly made a pile of the shards and scooped them into the pan, and then into the trash. “See?” he said, “all done. It’s fine.” He ushered you into the living room and pulled you down into his lap on the couch, wrapping you tight in his arms. “I’ll get you a new one,” he said softly. “Even prettier than the last one.”

Without even thinking about it, you laid your head on his shoulder, as he ran his hand up and down your back. “You’re such a good girl,” he whispered. “I’m so glad you’re here. You make me so happy.” You knew you should hate that. You knew that it should make you angry. But you were just so relieved that he wasn’t upset with you, you couldn’t help but sink into him. 

After a few moments of just cuddling, he spoke again, his low voice right next to your ear. “I think you need a break, huh? How about we just spend the day together? Your chores can wait til tomorrow. We’ll even order dinner in tonight. How’s that sound?”

You were so worn out, from your sobbing, yes, but also, from everything, so all you could do was nod into his shoulder.

“Ok, then that’s what we’ll do. Just me and my good girl,” he said, his voice maybe the gentlest you’d ever heard.

“Thank you, Andy,” you sighed.

Tag list is open

@stargazingfangirl18 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @roxyfan14-blog @darkserenity24 @midnightramyeoncravings @foulpersonahandsvoid @alexakeyloveloki @spiderwebbedhearts

[s-acchar1ne]

lacy, oh, lacy ⟢ p. pevensie

synopsis ➻ In which you finally unload all your nasty, ugly jealousy to peter, and he doesn’t really take it well

author’s note ➻ hi, this is my first ever piece of work on tcon based on lacy by olivia rodrigo, lmk if you like it :) just a little short blurb! I was thinking of making it a full fic with other tropes (keeping them a secret!), would anyone be interested? Ik the fandom’s kinda dead, so if u see this..let’s be moots!

“LET GO OF ME,” you huffed, your arm whipping back from the gentle hold he had on it as you turned to meet his eyes.

Doing so just made you even angrier than you were. There he was, looking as perfect and regal as the day he arrived in Narnia. The moonlight casts its glow over the room for his glistening skin to shimmer. Silky, golden hair falling across his forehead, almost covering his deep, cerulean blue eyes.

While your hair was falling out it’s updo despite all the pins you had secured it with, corset coming undone from all the angry breathing and running up the castle’s stairs you were doing.

“You think you’re sooooooo perfect. Don’t you? You don’t have any regard for anyone OTHER than yourself. Do you think everyone worships you, huh Peter? It disgusts me to see you prance around this castle, in war meetings and in balls, giving orders and expecting everyone to follow them!”

Your finger comes up, jabbing it sharp into his annoyingly sturdy chest.

Peter takes a step back.

“‘Oh look at me, I’m High King Peter the Magnificent, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, and Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion. I’m so gorgeous, and charming that nobody can resist me. Does it ever get so tiring being the person everybody looks to in a room full of people? Oh no, because I’m Arrogant High King Peter, I make everybody and everything stutter over their words and—WHO EVEN CARES! You’re so full of yourself and stuck up, GOSH! Nobody cares about your titles and I’m ALSO sure nobody cares enough to know them!”

An eerie silence falls over the two of you, Peter staring so intently into your eyes you feel as if he can see the true reason why you just said all of that—And you, finally coming to your senses and realizing what you dared to utter to your King.

Peter licks his lips and looks to the side before his eyes meet your own again.

“Well, you seem to know them. Considering you recited them all perfectly.”

Your face crumbles into shock, burning as you look anywhere other than his face. You want to kill yourself. You want to storm outside and maybe find a guillotine and then chop your own head off and you want to kill yourself—

Peter still looks mildly offended and takes a closer step to you. His cologne fills your senses and almost enchants you. He smells so good and he’s so perfect. And how could you say that to him?

“Almost like, you repeat it to yourself everyday.”

Your trembling hands fist the skirt of your dress, bringing it above your ankles so you don’t trip as you stumble backwards away from him, away from Peter..away from your king. Like you always should be.

“You think I don’t see the looks of yearning you send my way? Are you really that oblivious to think I can’t feel eyes burning into my back or my face everytime I’m a few feet away from you?”

You’re scared. You’re scared of what came out his mouth and what’s going to continue to come out his mouth. You’re so stupid, and God why did you say all of that? He knows, and he knows, and he knows..he’s going to ruin you. He’s going to tell everybody and they’re going to laugh about it and, and throw you into the dungeon and God, he’s going to ruin you.

“You say one thing yet you mean another,” Peter whispers, biting his full, pink bottom lip. His eyes racing back and forth as he tries so hard to get an answer, a reaction—out of you.

“Doesn’t it get embarrassing?” He questions, face morphing into a sarcastic expression. And you can feel it; feel him mocking you. Your colored eyes welling up with tears—and a reaction he gets.

“Everybody can tell. Everybody can tell when ‘Arrogant High King Peter’ walks into the room, you want him. You need him.”

And with that, he turns around and walks away. High King Peter, your King Peter, the love of your life—walks away from you.

﹒ © euna ᡣ𐭩﹒est. 2024

[brandyllyn]

Silk from their soul (10)

The Ghoul / Cooper Howard x f!reader [no use of y/n]

Rated: Explicit (fingering, ridiculous amount of dirty talk, the Ghoul pushing boundaries a little too hard) Words: 1.2k Summary: Lotta days between now and later.

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

The Ghoul was about to eat her alive.

Every sigh that fell from those pretty lips, every arch of her body into his hands, even the scent of her flesh was drifting through his brain and driving him wild. The need to bite her was growing strong and he tried to allay it by licking the droplets of blood from her skin where those damn leeches had gotten her.

It did nothing to satiate him.

He wants to push her dress down, see his grotesque fingers - more claw than hand at this point - kneading at her tit. But she’s got her arms up and digging into the back of his head and he kind of likes how she looks, spread out in his lap while he teases her.

Shame his dick ain’t working.

It weren’t a surprise, it’d been limp more often than not these days, but it was a crying shame for all that. He had the feeling she’d let him do whatever the fuck he wanted right now, take her six ways from Sunday then flip her over and do it all again.

“You hankering for some fun, darlin’?” He trails the hand between her thighs up to her waist, toying with the edge of her panties before slipping inside. She’s bare as the day she was born and he pauses there, tickling her skin just to see her squirm.

“Now that’s a bit of a surprise, been a while since I seen anything other than a full bush.”

“They made us,” she pants, fingers digging in tighter.

He files that away to talk to her about later. Who was ‘us’ and why were they removing the cunt hairs off women? He’d ask now but her squirming had pushed his finger further down and he let out a low groan at how wet she was and forgot all about it.

“Well hello there,” he all but purrs, “what have we here?”

He pets against her for a bit then pauses, brushing his lips over her ear. “What was rule number two?”

“More,” she bursts out quickly. “More, please, I love it, I want more, I want-”

He grins as he eases her torture, sliding his hand down and slipping one finger deep inside of her. She makes the most lovely little sound in her throat when he does, halfway between a squeak and a squeal.

“This used to be my favorite pastime, you know that?” He twists so he can rub his thumb over her clit. “Listening to a little lady beg and plead and moan for my cock. You gonna beg, darlin’? You gonna beg all pretty like for me to fuck you?”

He’s answered by a low moan but that’s okay, he can feel her gripping his finger like a vise. She’s tighter than anyone has a right to be and he imagines what she’ll feel like riding him.

C’mon you piece of shit, he chides his cock, you really gonna let the moment pass you by?

The offending appendage gives a twitch of interest but does not rise to the occasion. Fine, ain’t like she’s got anywhere to go. He can fuck her with his fingers tonight and with his cock tomorrow. And the next day. 

Lotta days between now and later.

He rolls her nipple between his fingers and continues to pour absolute filth into her ear. Nearly three hundred years of living had left him with a vivid imagination and absolutely no shame.

“You hear that sweetheart? Hear how wet you are for me? When I fuck you you’ll be absolutely dripping on my balls. You got enough going on down here I bet I could fuck you up the ass no problem, just slide from one hole to another and hear you squeal like a stuck pig. You gonna be loud when you come for me? Let everyone hear how good ol’ Coo- how good I’m giving it to you?”

He waits for her breathy affirmative, the panting yes that slips from between her lips before continuing.

“Maybe I’ll tie you down, bend you over one of those there rocks and just fuck you til you’re full of me. Let it drip down those pretty thighs. I could keep you like that a fair while, I reckon, just a little toy for me to use when I want to.”

Her body goes still and her rough pants die away. He frowns.

“Now I know you didn’t just come so why don’t you tell me what the fuck just happened?”

She sighs deeply and he pinches her nipple. “Use your words.”

“I’m not - I don’t want that. I want…” she let’s out a breath once again but he holds her tighter.

“You like what my hands were doing, right?” She nods quickly, turning to half meet his eyes.

“I liked it a lot.”

“So it was just me running my mouth that got you all upset?”

“…yes.”

“Was it the part about fucking you in the ass?”

She bites her lip and cuts her eyes to the side. “No that… I mean it sounds like it could be fun.”

She’s relaxing against him and he spreads her legs once more, dipping between her thighs to slick his fingers over her. “Was it the bit about tying you up?”

“I think-” she gasps when he pushes two fingers inside her. “I think I might be okay with that.”

He tries to think back over what he said. He hadn’t really been paying much attention, just running his mouth as the thoughts occurred to him. “You don’t wanna be used?”

A rapid shake of her head and his mouth is suddenly full of hair. He spits it out and chuckles. “Darlin’, it’s just a bit of fantasy. Now see, I think the same thing too. About you tying me up. Sitting on my cock, on my face - using me to get yourself off. I ain’t ever gonna let ya but it don’t mean the thought don’t turn me on.”

He’s got her back now, her body pliant under his hands. 

“I think about fucking you in the middle of town, legs up at my ears and screaming for me - letting everybody know who’s plowing you so good. But you think I’m ever gonna let them look at what’s mine?”

He bites into her shoulder for emphasis. Her slick is coating his palm and he can’t wait til he can have a chance to taste it. But he can’t stop now - not when she’s so close.

“Sitting in the bar with my legs spread while you suck my cock, fucking your face as every man in town watches with the ol’ green-eyed monster sitting on their shoulder.”

She tries to arch completely away but he holds her down. 

“Yeah that’s it, sweetheart, let ‘em all hear ya.”

It’s glorious when it comes. She soaks him to the wrist, shaking and moaning and shuddering in his arms. It’s pure, honest, not a hint of fakery about it.

“That’s it,” he hums into her ear, slowly thrusting his fingers into her. “Good girl.”

☢ ☢ ☢

For updates follow and turn on notifications for @brandyllyn-writes

[callyourose]

match point, chapter five.

↳ masterlist

— In which Art and Patrick find themselves intertwined with the relationship of tennis superstar Tashi Duncan and her best friend, Lennon Caddel.

LENNON CADDEL DIDN'T HATE TENNIS. She hated playing tennis. Which was an entirely different thing. She loved tennis. She just hated playing. She hated how everyone's eyes were on her while she played. She hated the way her legs felt after a match where her opponent ran her up and down the court. She hated the way her shoulder and her knees and her back had started to hurt all the time. It was ruining her. Physically and mentally. For months she had been hiding things from her parents and her best friend. She had started hiding things from her physical therapist. "Does it hurt when I press here?" They would ask. And she would shake her head no, even if it did. She cried in the shower after every match, even if she had won. She liked crying in the shower because nobody could hear her over the rush of the water and, if she tried hard enough, she could convince herself that she wasn't crying. It was just the warmth of the shower running over face. The crushing weight of Tashi and her dad's disappointment if she quit was enough to make her stay. She felt like she just needed to tough it out. If she toughed it out for a year, maybe two, Tashi and her dad would let up a little. They would let her pick up an extra hobby without shaking their heads in disappointment and telling her she needs to practice more. She was talented, incredible even. She knew that. She had known that for years. But she felt like her career was starting to plateau before it even really took off. And though she would never admit it, she was ok with that. 

Patrick and Lennon didn't talk about tennis for the rest of the time they were out on the golf course. He felt terrible that he made he cry, truly. So in the three hours that they were sat shoulder to shoulder on the grass, he learned almost everything there is to know about Lennon Caddel. He asked her every question he could think of. Where she was from (San Diego), what her favorite color was (yellow), if she had any pets (one, a cat named June.) By the second hour, Lennon had all but forgotten their earlier conversation. She was throwing her head back in laughter when Patrick cracked a stupid joke and shoving him playfully when he poked fun at her. She found herself not wanting to back to her hotel and, by association, Tashi. It had been so long since she had had a conversation, a real genuine conversation, with someone who wasn't her best friend or her parents. She was learning a lot about Patrick, too. Every question he asked her, she threw right back. She wanted to know as much of him as she could. It was like if she didn't know everything about him, she would wake up from this dream of a moment.

It was 2 am by the time Tashi finally called her. Lennon was rolling on the ground, clutching her side, laughing so hard she couldn't breath, when she felt the pocket of her shorts vibrating. She knew who it was instantly. She sat up, desperately trying to catch her breath and wipe the tears in her eyes as she answered her call. 

"Hello?" Lennon spoke into the phone, smacking Patrick's arm as he tried to make her laugh again. 

"Where are you?" Lennon could hear the concern in her voice and she knew that no matter what she said next, Tashi would sway her to come back.

"Some golf course..." She bit her lip to contain another giggle and Patrick laughed out loud, which Tashi definitely heard. "I honestly don't know. Patrick brought me here and we've just been talking."

"Taking about what?" There was a sense of defensiveness in her tone, like she was offended that Lennon and Patrick wouldn't talk in front of her.

"Just tennis... and school." She lies. Tashi hums on the other end of the line and Lennon could feel the panic start to rise in her chest. "We were just about to head back." She glances at Patrick, his brow furrowed and a slight pout on his lips. Lennon mouths an 'I'm sorry.'

Tashi sighs. "That'd probably be best. We have to leave early in the morning, you know." Lennon could pratically see the way Tashi was sitting with her legs crossed, the phone sandwiched in between her ear and her shoulder, looking at her nails. 

Lennon nods, even though she can't see. "I know... We'll be back soon. Promise." 

That was a good enough answer for Tashi. So she says "Ok," and hangs up.

Lennon and Patrick were stood outside of her and Tashi's hotel room. She wasn't looking at him, subconsciously trying to avoid the disappointment she assumed was on his face. He wasn't disappointed in her, the opposite actually. He was grinning ear to ear. Their lack of time together making the time they were sharing all that more exciting. 

Patrick reaches up to brush a stray hair out of her face and she looks up at him. She's shocked by the smile on his face, but she smiles back. 

"When can I see you again?”

She blushes and looks away again. Patrick finds himself wanting to keep his hand on her face, to brush the pad of his thumb over the expanse of her cheek. He pulls back, albeit hesitantly, and smiles softly as she tries to find her answer. 

"I'm uh, moving to Stanford in a couple days. And then I have a few matches the first week I'm there. So I'll be pretty busy..."

He nods slowly, fiddling with his fingers. He opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.

"But I can make time for you! If you want to, um, y'know... stop by." Her hands are shaking, the confession that she wants to see him again almost embarrassing. 

He grins. "Yeah... yeah I'll come see you."

The door to the room swings open and Lennon and Patrick jump away. Tashi is standing in her pajamas, her arms crossed as she leans against the door frame. She eyes both Lennon and Patrick up and down, before locking eyes with the brunette boy. There's a sort of understanding between the two of them that Lennon picks up on. They're having an entire conversation with her eyes right in front of her, like she isn't even there.

"Are you coming in? It's so late." Tashi's voice snaps both Lennon and Patrick out of their daze. She nods and he backs away, but not before pressing a lingering kiss to her cheek. Lennon's face gets so red she almost looks sunburnt.

"Bye, Lennon. I'll see you soon, yeah?" 

She's stuttering, unable to form a proper sentence. He didn't even do anything crazy, she knows that. But her entire body feels like it's on fire. She jerkily nods her head before Tashi speaks for her. 

"Goodnight, Patrick." She grabs Lennon's arm and pulls her into their room, closing the door behind her. 

Lennon is facing the door. She can feel Tashi's presence looming behind her. She's unsure if she's mad at her. You would think after nineteen years of friendship, she would get easier to read. But alas. 

"Did you have fun?" 

Lennon lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She can hear the smile in Tashi's voice and she can't help but mirror it. She turns around slowly. She's still blushing and she's biting her lip to keep from smiling so big her cheeks hurt.

"He's so fucking cute, dude." She laughs, putting her face in her hands. Tashi sits on their shared bed, her chin in her hand as she watches. She's grinning. Lennon's happiness meant the world to her. Truly. She reaches her hand out, waiting for Lennon to take it. She does and steps closer.

Tashi looks up at her, both of them just staring at each other and giggling. "I can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow."

Lennon isn't tired. She could stay up all night talking about Patrick. But she lets Tashi pull her into bed. The sooner the morning comes, the sooner she gets to talk about him.

Patrick is resting his head on the cold wood of his hotel room. His eyes are closed and he's taking deep breaths, as if he's trying to come down from a high. Art is laying on his back on the bed behind him, smoking a cigarette. 

"How was it?"

Patrick whips his head around to face him and he rests his back against the door, tapping his own pack of cigarettes against the palm of his hand. "It was fun.. yeah. It was fine." His brows are furrowed as he goes to untie his shoes and Art raises his head to look directly at him.

"Did you guys talk about Stanford?"

Patrick shakes his head, biting on his lower lip. "No, no. She like..." He sighs and stands up fully before running a hand over his face. "She, like, started crying when I mentioned tennis."

Art's brows furrow, mirroring his friend. "What?" He laughs in disbelief.

The brunette shakes his head, dumbfounded. "Yeah I felt bad. Too bad to keep talking about tennis." He sheds his shirt and crawls into his bed. His hands are locked behind his head and he's staring up at the ceiling. "Did you talk to Tashi while I was gone?" He turns to look at Art, a smirk on his face. 

Art smiles before reaching across the bed and throwing a pillow at him. "Why?" He laughs, dodging Patrick's attempt to get him back. "You jealous?"

[lovelynim]

Losing Count

Genshin Impact - Alhaitham x Kaveh

A/N: So... if anyone is wondering where this came from, I found a fanart in Twitter that greatly inspired me. After two polls, here we are

Summary: After having his work out routine disturbed, Alhaitham decides to give Kaveh a challenge

Word count: 1279 words

“83… 84… 85… wow, you are really good at this!”

“You know….” Alhaitham grunted, pushing his body up despite the weight on his back, “you are not… really helping.”

Kaveh grinned at his boyfriend’s complaining, crossing one ankle after the other as he allowed himself to enjoy the ride. “Come on, how do you expect to gain something from your training if you don’t step up the difficulty?”

Alhaitham regretted all his past actions that led him to his current state. “Whatever… just keep… counting…”

He didn’t know why he agreed with all this. Maybe he just wanted to show off or tease Kaveh in some way… still, it was too late to go back on his words now and he didn’t even want to think about how annoying Kaveh would become if he gave up.

“Right right, where was I? Ah, yes, 66… 67-”

“You were… at 86…”

Kaveh chuckled again, feign ignorance as Alhaitham finished another push-up, “sorry, I keep losing count ~”

With the blonde sitting on his back, the scribe felt like his 100 push-ups session was being dragged for hours and hours in an unending cycle. And with Kaveh counting out loud - constantly going to and fro between the numbers - he was starting to believe that he had already beat that mark a long while ago.

“87… 88… 89- Huh? Come on, Haitham, you are so close!” Kaveh cheered, giving the other a couple of taps on his shoulder and thanking the archons the scribe couldn’t look at the grin in his face right now. 

Lying beneath him, Alhaitham was giving it his best efforts to tense the muscles in his arms again, but he was really starting to give it in. 

“Y-you are… too h-heavy…” he groaned, managing to get back up, adding one more to the count. 

“Hah?! Heavy?!” Kaveh gasped, acting as offended as possible, “just admit you are too weak to finish a session, Haitham.”

‘As if you could do half of it’, the other man thought as his boyfriend continued to talk. He just needed to ignore him a little longer and he could finally finish this endless session. “Just… keep counting, K-Kaveh…”

Tsking at his his boyfriend’s comment, the architect rested his hands on Alhaitham’s back to give himself some extra support. “Fine… where was I at? Right, 71… 72…” The smugness on his voice was clear, not even hiding the fact that he was messing up the count on purpose anymore.

The muscles of Alhaitham’s arms were already sore, his legs tired from the constant tension and drops of sweat falling off his forehead. Yet, Kaveh didn’t seem to mind his struggle, even amusing himself with it.

“What? Are you giving up?” Kaveh hummed in mockery, tapping his boyfriend’s shoulder as Alhaitham laid flat on the ground, with his arms sprawled next to his head. The scribe muttered something, but his words didn’t quite make it to Kaveh’s ears. “Hm? ‘You’ what?”

“I said… I’m. Done.” Alhaitham repeated, a little louder this time. Before he could alarm Kaveh any further, the scribe used the last bits of his strength to push his body up and make his partner fall off him.

Letting out an audible grunt as his butt hit the ground, Kaveh barely had time to react as Alhaitham rolled him over and sat on his back. “My turn now,” the scribe huffed with annoyance clear in his voice.

“W-wait, agh… I-I can’t!” Kaveh struggled beneath him, not able to move a single inch despite all his efforts.

“You don’t need to do 100, just 10. Or ‘are you too weak to finish a session’, Kaveh?” Alhaitham chuckled, enjoying the taste of revenge as he wouldn’t even bulge no matter how hard Kaveh tried to get up.

“Y-you are… too heavy, Haitham! Aghh, g-get off me!” 

“Only when you finish your session,” Alhaitham mused, placing his hands on Kaveh’s shoulder, “come on, start it already.”

Kaveh groaned in frustration, able to make far from enough strength to actually do a push-up. Truth to be told, he wasn’t even sure he could do it on his own, and with Alhaitham sitting on his back? He knew he didn’t stand a chance against that task.

“I already told you, I can’t!”

“Hmm,” Alhaitham muttered, looking down at Kaveh as an idea popped up in his head, “I believe you just need the right… incentive.”

Sliding his hands down Kaveh’s back, Alhaitham rested his thumbs over his boyfriend’s wing bones and dug at the blonde’s ribs with the rest of his fingers, making a high-pitched and surprised squeal leave Kaveh’s lips.

“AHALHAHAITAM!! AhahAHA, nohOHOH!!” Shrieking as if it was some kind of murder attempt, Kaveh pressed his elbows down to his sides, trying to protect himself from the merciless assault.

“Come on, do it. I’ll stop if you can finish the session,” Alhaitham muttered in a calm, uninterested tone. His words could barely be heard through the loud laughter as he prodded and poked, tickling Kaveh with ease.

The architect kicked his feet behind his boyfriend, squirming left and right like some kind of worm, but he couldn’t move a single inch with the scribe resting like an imobile boulder on his back. “Y-YOHOHOU! AhahAHAh, h-hohorrible mahAHAn! LEHEHET GO!”

“Keep talking and you’ll have to do 100,” Alhaitham scolded, clearly enjoying the turn of tables. Much to his surprise, Kaveh actually tried to do one push-up despite having his ribs mercilessly tickled by his boyfriend. Of course, he wouldn’t let that go without teasing, “you know, you need to keep your arms away from your torso if you want to do it properly.”

“S-stoHOHOp tahahalking!!” Kaveh whined, letting out another squeal when the Alhaitham used his index finger to poke his underarms. 

“I’m merely giving you some advice,” the scribe continued, letting out a lazy sigh as he continued the tickling, continuing to wiggle his fingers despite Kaveh’s attempts to block him, “you also need to keep your legs straight, otherwise you won’t do it right.”

Kaveh cried out softly through his laughter, resting his face against the floor as he could do nothing but laugh. All the (little) strength he had was leaving his body with each tickle. It almost made him regret messing with his boyfriend earlier, “I cahAHAn’t!! HAHahaitam, pleheHEHEHAhase!”

Despite his begging, Alhaitham didn’t seem like he was going to stop anytime soon. Stopping to move his fingers, but keeping them pressing against Kaveh’s oh-so-sensitive spots, the scribe leaned his face down, muttering a little close to the blonde’s ear. “Not so easy, right?”

“Y-yeheah! I g-gehehet it!!” Kaveh admitted, feeling as his whole body tensed with anticipation by having Alhaitham’s hands ready to strike at any moment, “I-i’m sohohorry, o-ok? Don’t b-be mehean!”

“Mean?” Alhaitham chuckled in a way that made Kaveh shiver. The architect had a bad feeling about this. “I only asked you for a 10 push-ups session, it’s not even the same thing…”

“A-AlhaithAHAHam!” Kaveh squealed as the scribe gave his ribs another squeeze, making his heart beat even faster than before. “N-nohOHo, please!”

“Let’s go for 5 then, is it better, Ka-veh?” Alhaitham mused, digging his finger in again and making another high-pitched and embarrassing noise come out of his partner. Waiting for Kaveh’s answer for his offer, Alhaitham raised his eyebrow as he felt his body moving up, noticing that Kaveh was actually doing it. 

“One…,” Alhaitham said once Kaveh’s arms were totally tense. After lowering his body, Kaveh’s body suddenly dropped back to the ground before he could finish the second push-up.

“ALHAHAITHAM! AHahah, n-nooho!” 

“Ah… sorry, I lost count, Kaveh,” Alhaitham muttered, smiling wickedly, “let’s start again, yes?”

[lussiane333]

Wilted Flowers

RZ! Michael Myers x reader

Little angsty but cute anyway.

Day like another else, or so you thought. You came back from the town with bags full of fresh food. Lugging bags wouldn't be such a problem in the past, except that now you have to take of one more. Everything was put in its place and you prepared late breakfast.

Distress creeped inside of you as you thought about your "idea". You weren't sure about it at all, but today is the day..

The day Michael loathed the most. Hell, he loathed himself everytime that thought awoked in his head. His head.. It was loud and dangerous place. Michael knew that. He tried to keep you as far away from him as possible in the beginning, but when he understood that after a long time he felt safe. Safe in someone's presence especially. Michael knew to read most of the people and their personality just from watching and he was indifferent about it. But when he started to get close to you, he couldn't help but to think how special you truly are. He was never really talkative or too much affectionate with you, few phrases here and there, nights spent together, and that was it. That was just the way he was.

He tried.

Tried to do the "normal things" when he was with you, just like other "normal" people do when they are in a relationship. He wouldn't hurt you and you knew that. So why was this tension inside of you? Feeling like you're going to offend, hurt him even and push him further away from you with this act. Feeling like he isn't going to hate himself only anymore, but you too..

Bouquet of white roses shone on the kitchen table, and you wondered if it wouldn't be just better to keep them. Your thoughts were interrupted by loud footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hey" you said rather quietly.

Michael gave you a look and began to look around the kitchen.

'This is it' you thought, your throat getting dry again.

"Michael.. I was thinking maybe we could go to the cemetery.." You paused when you noticed him furrowing his brows at you.

"And put these on your mother's grave.."

Anger. He hated this feeling, how dare you to even bring this up. How dare you to make him go and see the grave of the person he ever loved. Why would you like to remind him that everything that happened was his fault. Why would you do that..

Michael knew this date deeply to the core, and he wasn't stupid. He knew that you had to do your research. It couldn't be a coincidence that you chose this exact day. He didn't forget, he couldn't. He thought about it unintentionally, especially when the month started. Busying himself with killing seemed to do the job.

He first wanted to break everything around him. Break you. He was just standing there, his fists clenching and his chest rising quickly, he grabbed the roses tightly, trying to calm himself down. Breaking things around him wouldn't do anything.

Not today..

He looked like he was paralyzed, only his eyes giving the feeling that he was thinking. You tried to keep yourself, but it was hard. You didn't want to push this any more, that's why you stayed quiet, looking at him.

After a good anxious while, Michael simply nodded and you nodded back.

It surprised you, but this is what you wanted. Maybe deep down he wanted it too. Have the courage and go, face it. Wipe the dust away.. Take the old flowers and replace them with new ones..

The walk was quiet. It wouldn't be so surprising coming from his side, but you stayed quiet too. You didn't know what Michael was thinking, but as you walked further and both of you noticed the large gate, he squeezed your hand tightly.

Few more steps and there was it. Deep audible sigh coming from Michael sent shivers through your body. He was holding the roses in his hand and silence only filled the air, both of you unable to speak. This was his moment..

It was the look in his eyes that broke you. Blue eyes filled with tears and head full of apologies and words that will unfortunately stay unsaid.

He leaned down and shoved the leaves and dirt away. He placed the white roses on top and closed his eyes for a second.

"Forgive me mama" Michael whispered and you felt your heart shatter.

You stepped closer to him and placed your hand on his shoulder. You were there with him. You did this for him. You went through it with him just like you did through many other things.

Together..

Michael stood up and turned around to you. He gently pulled you close to him and pressed his lips to your forehead.

"She would love you.."

[smilingformoney]

Sharing Part II | Eli/Reader/Lionel

A follow-up to Sharing from Rickmas 2023. There will be more, because I am depraved. Thanks as always to @snowblossomtumbles for enabling me 🙂

Read on Ao3 or below the cut:

Ever since you’d attended Lionel Shabandar’s Christmas party in London together, your relationship with Eli had changed. He came to your office more often whereas previously he’d text you to come to his. The texting had changed too; what was previously a message history of commands to come to his office or his lecture hall was now a series of flirtatious messages and even dick pics.

Not that you were complaining. Eli was an asshole, no doubt about that, and you understood completely why his wife left him. And when he was neither with you nor teaching, you were certain he was fucking another one of his students. But you didn’t care about that. His cock was almost as big as his ego, and damn if he didn’t know how to use it.

And if Eli’s extra attention wasn’t enough, you were getting constant messages from Lionel. You must have really left an impression on him, because every day he described a new way he was fantasising about you, often along with a dick pic showing you just how hard it made him to imagine himself fucking you in whatever creative way his deranged mind had come up with that day.

So much attention from two men might have made you uncomfortable if you weren’t uncontrollably attracted to both of them.

You decided not to tell Eli you were in touch with Lionel. First of all, Eli had made it very clear - and you firmly agreed with him - that you were not a couple in any sense of the word. So it was none of his business if you wanted to text another guy.

Second, you were well aware that Eli was frequently fucking some of his female students - there were three on the go that you knew of for sure - and quite frankly you didn’t care about that, so long as he used protection, which you knew he did when you caught sight on multiple occasions of used condoms in his office bin. So why should it be any business of his if you let Lionel see a picture of your tits now and then?

On the last day of the spring semester, Eli showed up at your office door, leaning against the doorframe as casually as if he lived there.

“Whatcha up to tonight?” he asked.

You looked up from your desk, where you’d been typing away on your computer, working on a book you were writing.

“Dinner. Wine. Movie. Usual Friday stuff. Why? You got a better suggestion?”

“Yeah, same idea, but at mine. And with less clothes. Fancy it?”

You leaned back in your chair and scoffed. “Eli Michaelson, are you asking me on a date?”

“No!” he insisted, turning his nose up at the very thought of it. “Just thought we could fuck in a bed for once. Maybe you stay over, we fuck in the morning too. I always wake up with such a hard-on and no one to relieve it. How ‘bout it?”

“Yeah, alright,” you shrugged. “I gotta go home first, so I’ll come over for eight?”

“Sure. Wear something sexy underneath, will ya? I know you got some slutty panties at home just waiting for me to tear off of you.”

He flashed that damned cheeky grin at you and left you alone with your work and a throbbing between your thighs.

***

You had absolutely no idea what was happening in the film Eli had put on. You weren’t sure that he had any idea either. At least, you hoped he didn’t - you’d be kind of offended if he was more interested in the film than the sloppy blowjob you’d been giving him for the last twenty minutes.

Bastard had stamina. Your jaw was aching, and every time you tried to raise your head to give yourself a break, he just pushed you back down again and slid further down your throat. When he eventually came, he held your head in place, making sure he painted your throat completely before finally letting you come up for air.

He didn’t even return the damn favour. He just wiped your mouth, kissed you, called you a “good girl” and left to start the dinner.

You took out your phone and opened up your chat with Lionel. You didn’t usually text him when you were with Eli - that felt like bad manners - but your cunt was on fire and Eli clearly had no intention of extinguishing it soon.

You: What you up to?

The three dots showing him typing appeared almost immediately.

Lionel: Boring meeting. You?

You: Boring film. Bad form to text in a meeting, you know.

Lionel: They can’t tell. Skype meetings are all the rage now. They can’t even see how hard I got the moment your name popped up on my screen.

You: Dare you to jerk off and see if they notice.

Lionel: Don’t tempt me. What film are you watching?

You: No idea. Some buddy cop shit Eli put on 🥱

Lionel: You two having date nights now?

You: If by “date night” you mean me giving him the best blowjob of his life and getting nothing in return, yeah.

Lionel: Ouch. Is he with you now?

You: No, he’s making dinner. Why, you miss him?

Lionel: No, I just don’t want him to see this.

He sent you a picture of his lap, the tip of his erection just peeking out from his waistband.

You: Careful. I can see the headlines now. Lionel Shabandar stands up in a Skype meeting and accidentally flashes his erection to the whole company.

Lionel: Just some bozos from Germany. Hang on.

He went quiet for a few minutes, probably actually working, so you locked your phone screen and turned your attention to the film.

“Red wine or white?” Eli called from the kitchen.

“Red,” you called back.

“White it is.”

“Prick.”

“What, again? You just had it!”

“Ha ha.”

You glanced back at your phone to see Lionel had sent you a video. You fished your earphones from your bag and plugged them in, and you had to stifle a giggle as you watched the video.

His hand was in his pants, playing with his hard cock, and you could hear him talking quite normally in the meeting, something about sales and percentages and audience retention. The video was only ten seconds long - you suspected he didn’t want to risk anyone suspecting what he was up to - but it was plenty enough for you. Lionel was a dirty bastard, and you loved it.

You: Damn, you must really trust me. I could ruin your career with that video.

Lionel: I have plenty of evidence to ruin yours.

You: Stalemate, then.

Lionel: When are you next in London? I need to know if your pussy is as good as your throat. It’s unfair a cad like Michaelson gets to fuck you every day while I have to make do with photos and fantasies.

You glanced over your shoulder; there was no sign of Eli coming out of the kitchen. You hitched up your skirt and snapped a picture between your legs, one hand holding the phone while the other pushed aside your panties to reveal your dripping pussy.

You: Bet you wouldn’t make me this wet then fuck off into the kitchen.

Lionel: Fucking hell, [Y/n]. What I wouldn’t give to lick that all up. Bet you taste fucking divine.

Lionel: I’m sorely tempted to fly you out here just so I can have you.

You: Why don’t you come here?

Lionel: And share you with the good doctor? No thanks.

You: But I like taking both of you :(

Lionel: Greedy minx. I’ll share you again only if I get to have your cunt this time. For a man with multiple girlfriends Eli sure is selfish.

You: I’m not his girlfriend.

Lionel: Isn’t he cooking you dinner?

You: For the first time ever. I’m as surprised as you are that I’m here.

Lionel: Guess he couldn’t stand spending spring break without you. Can’t blame him.

You: You’re rich, powerful and sexy as fuck. You can’t tell me you don’t have your pick of the ladies in London.

Lionel: Sure, but they can’t deepthroat like you can.

You: Hang on, Eli’s calling me.

Lionel: Tell him to piss off.

Eli needed you to watch the vegetables while he went to the bathroom, so you did, and soon enough he was serving up the dinner of steak and chips with veg on the side, and a bottle of some fancy red wine you supposed was meant to impress you.

Despite the effort he’d clearly put into the dinner, Eli was quiet the whole time, barely giving you one-word answers as you tried to make conversation. Christ, was he always this dull? Maybe you’d never noticed before - you were pretty sure this was the first time you’d tried to hold a conversation with him that wasn’t about sex.

You’d given up trying to get any decent conversation out of him when suddenly he broke the silence by saying, “Are you going back to London any time soon? Visiting your family again?”

You were surprised at his sudden desire to converse, and about London of all things, but you replied, “Not until Christmas. What about you? Any more fancy parties?”

“Mhm, bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“…What?”

“You sure loved that party. Don’t deny it.”

“I’m not denying it, I’m just confused. I had a lot of fun.”

Eli scoffed. “Yeah. Fun.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone - your phone! How long had he had it? You hadn’t looked for it in ages - you didn’t want to talk to Lionel while Eli was in the room —

“So… Lionel’s rich, powerful and sexy as fuck, is he?” Eli growled, scrolling through your phone.

“What the fuck? How did you unlock it?”

“Your passcode’s your fucking birthday, [Y/n]. I got it on the second try.”

“And why were you trying to get into my phone?!”

“Because you left it lying around and I saw it flash up. Lionel Shabandar: Meeting’s over. I’m going back to my place to rub one out. I’ll be imagining my pillow is your face while I paint it. Very classy.”

You stood up and went to grab the phone from him, but Eli pulled it away.

“How long have you two been texting like this?” he demanded. “This chat history is long.”

“What’s it to you? Give me my phone!”

You made another attempt to grab it, but Eli just slammed it down on the table and stood up, his taller frame looming over you slightly.

“Do you usually text him when you’re with me?”

“No, never! This is the first time - and not while you were in the room, I’m not like that —“

“Oh, just while I’m cooking you dinner then? Jeez, [Y/n], I try and treat you better than just a quick fuck at work and this is the thanks I get?”

“Better?” you scoffed, hyper-aware that he was advancing on you slowly, forcing you to back up towards the sofa. “You put on some shitty film, shoved your cock in my face then fucked off without even trying to make me cum.”

“I went to make you dinner!”

“I wanted you to make me cum!”

Eli groaned with frustration and threw his hands up. “Fucking women! There’s no pleasing you! Either I’m treating you too much like a whore or not enough! You know what? Fine.”

He shoved you back, causing you to fall back over the arm of the sofa, your back hitting the cushions.

“Fuck it,” he growled as he fumbled with his zipper. “I’m not gonna fucking bother. You wanna act like a slut? I’ll treat you like a slut.” He produced a condom from his pocket, then pulled down his pants and stepped out of them, leaving him only in his shirt, his angry red cock standing to attention.

He rolled the condom down his shaft then crawled on top of you and grabbed your ankles, resting them on his shoulders and causing your skirt to flip up and reveal your soaking wet cunt. He leant over you and sunk his teeth into your neck, causing you to cry out. He began rubbing his cock up and down your folds, gathering up as much of your slick as he could.

“You know, my girls - the girls I’m fucking - they have boyfriends. Inexperienced kids with tiny cocks who don’t know how to use them, so my girls come to me for a real man’s cock. Even they don’t text their fucking boyfriends when they’re with me!”

“Lionel’s not my boyfriend —“

“Yeah, and neither am I, you made that pretty fucking clear. Now stay still while I fuck you.”

His cockhead breached your entrance, and you were still so wet that he slid in easily, your cunt instinctively stretching to accommodate him. You gasped at the intrusion, even though you were used to it, even though you were expecting it. He usually started off slower and built up the pace; this time, he began pistoning into you straight away, his frustration evident as his hips bashed against your thighs, his grip on your legs tight, and his face screwed up in a mixture of anger and pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re so wet - seeing Lionel’s cock really did a number on you, huh?”

“I’m not wet from that, dickhead,” you replied. “I’m wet from sucking your cock for twenty minutes. My cunt was - ah! - on fire and you left me all alone. What did you expect me to do?”

“Wait for me. Clearly you ain’t got any patience. Is there - ugh - anyone else I should know about?”

“No, you’re - you’re the only one I’m fucking - ahh, Eli!” You gasped with a mixture of surprise, pleasure and pain when he bit down on your neck again, and you were sure he’d leave a mark. Good thing it was spring break and you didn’t have classes any time soon.

“You bastard,” you hissed, and Eli just chuckled against your neck.

“That’s right. My cock’s all you need.”

He moaned in your ear, his panting becoming rapid and high-pitched, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to hold him close.

“Wh - why d - do you - fuck —“

Eli laughed.

“Forgot your words, Dr [L/n]?” he teased. He slowed down his thrusting, though it was no less forceful, the dragging of his cock along your walls no less agonisingly blissful.

“Why do you get to fuck any pretty student that bats her eyelids at you, yet you reckon I can’t even flirt with another guy?”

Eli didn’t respond at first. He kept his head buried in your neck, continuing his slow thrusts, before eventually raising himself on his forearms to look down at you.

“I don’t care that it’s another guy. I care that it’s Lionel. I don’t wanna share you with him.”

“You didn’t seem to care at the party. You seemed quite happy to share me with him then.”

Eli scoffed. “Yeah, ‘cus I wanted to show off. Let him see how fucking amazing you are. I wanted you to take both our cocks and choose mine. I thought you had… and all this time you were texting him. Showing him your tits. Telling him all the things you want him to do to you. Very creative, by the way. Putting that literature doctorate to good use. I even saw you using the same lines on him as you use on me.” He growled in frustration, and his hips began to thrust violently against you again, his jaw hanging slack in the gorgeous display of ecstasy you loved to see on him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you said truthfully, trying to get your words out between groans of pleasure. “I didn’t - didn’t want you to get - ah - jealous —“

Eli’s hand wrapped around your throat, and his face came close to yours, snarling angrily.

“I’m not fucking jealous, little slut. I’m the one fucking you, aren’t I? There’s nothing to be jealous of. You know what? Fine. Fine. Fucking text him. Tell him everything. Show him your tits, your cunt, whatever you want. So long as he knows that no matter what he does, I’m the one who gets to fuck you.”

He sat up suddenly, his cock slipping out of you, and you whined at his sudden absence. He retrieved your phone from the table and, a few taps later, the phone was on loudspeaker, and you recognised the sound of dialling out to an international number.

“Eli —“

He just grinned at you as he placed the phone next to your head and resumed his position on top of you.

“You are not gonna do what I think you’re gonna do!”

But of course he fucking did. Eli slipped his cock back inside you - just as the phone picked up.

“Well, this is a nice surprise, I was just thinking of you,” said Lionel’s voice from the phone. You tried to speak, but Eli slapped his hand over your mouth.

“Just thinking of you too, buddy,” Eli said smugly. “A little birdie told me you wanted to hear [Y/n] moan, is that right?”

“Michaelson? What the hell are you doing with [Y/n]’s phone?”

“I’m more interested in what she was doing with her phone. Shit dick pics, by the way, the lighting’s all wrong. So, [Y/n], are you gonna moan for Lionel or what?”

Eli pulled his hand away from your mouth.

“Fuck you, dickhead,” you hissed.

“Funny, that’s exactly what you are doing. Mmm, Lionel, buddy, her cunt is so very warm. Squeezes just the right way in all the right places.” Eli pulled back until his cock was about to fall out, then thrust back in again, causing you to let out a moan.

“Painted that pillow with your stiff English cum yet, Lionel? Or d’you still got a hard-on?”

“You called just in time, actually, I was just about to get started. [Y/n], can you hear me?”

“Yeah, he’s got you on loudspea - ah! Fucking hell, Eli!” you gasped as he began thrusting into you rapidly, your legs back on his shoulders.

“Tell me what he’s doing to you, and spare no detail. I want to know just how that cunt’s getting wrecked.”

If it weren’t for the sound of Eli’s flesh slapping against yours, you might have heard through the speakerphone the sound of Lionel tugging on his cock, his own phone lying on the bed next to him as he sat on his knees with a pillow between his thighs, wishing it was you he was on top of instead.

“I’m - I’m lying on my back on the sofa,” you said, trying to think through the pleasure-filled fog in your brain. “He’s got my ankles on his shoulders.”

“Mmm, yes, I bet you’re fucking flexible,” Lionel growled. “Fuck, I can hear how wet you are from here. Must be a fucking waterfall down there.”

“You have no idea,” Eli replied with a groan. “Tell him how my cock feels, [Y/n].”

“It’s - it’s big,” you gasped.

“Big,” Eli snorted. “A doctorate in literature and all she can think of is big.”

“What the fuck do you want me to say, Eli? Colossal? Enormous? Overblown? Nah, that’s your ego. You want me to tell him how much you stretch me out? The way your cock hits my G-shot at just - ah! Just the right spot! Just like that! Fu-uuck —“

At the mention of your G-spot, Eli had adjusted his hips slightly, just enough to let his cockhead press against that sweet spot which he damn well knew drove you insane.

“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck - Eli, you bastard - I’m gonna cum, need to cum —“

“Then cum, and you’d better be loud, sweetheart. Lionel wants to hear you all the way over in London.”

You were writhing around on the sofa without an ounce of dignity, lost in the pleasure that was being thrusted into you faster than your goddamn heartbeat, and your movement caused the phone to slide down the cushion towards you, the speaker just close enough to your ear that you could hear Lionel’s panting.

“Yes! Yes, Daddy, yes - FUCK!”

Every muscle in your body convulsed as you came around Eli’s cock, moaning loudly just as he’d asked. Down the phone you heard Lionel moaning your name as he came, and Eli was cumming too, his hips faltering against yours as he moaned.

For a few moments, there was quiet, as all three of you caught your breath. Eli grabbed the phone and held it up so Lionel could hear him.

“I get that every fuckin’ day, Shabandar,” he boasted. “Add that to your wank bank.”

“She’s bound to come to London sooner or later, Michaelson, and when she does you’d better be with her if you want to stand any chance of stopping me burying my cock inside her. I always get what I want.”

“Good fuckin’ luck,” Eli said warningly, then he hung up the phone.

[avionvadion]

Part Four of "I have no self control, so here ya go."

Lucifer x Fem!Human!OC

Warning: I don’t know how to write songs, so please don’t judge the Lucifer song too hard. T_T That said, I'm actually fairly proud of how this one turned out?

By some miracle, dinner went fairly well. 

Eleanora was rather uncomfortable the entire time, forced to tag along by the anxious Lucifer who absolutely refused to let her run away and made to suffer the awkwardness that was conversation. Lucifer was very expressive as he spoke, as he always was, but in his panic his voice went all over the place, raising and lowering in pitch and even cracking as he barked a few laughs. 

To save him from a panic attack, seeing the poor man on the verge of hyperventilating, his white face turning a bit blue, she stood up from her seat and declared she was thirsty, asking cheerfully if anyone else would like some water. 

From there, she got everyone some glasses- but gave Lucifer an especially tall one in case he chugged half of it in one go. Which he did. And then laughed, saying that was some quality water. 

“Gotta hydrate or die-drate.” Eleanora joked, attempting to save him from his own awkwardness, sitting back down. “And~ I’d rather you all stay hydrated.” 

Lucifer choked on his water, while Charlie let out a small laugh. “Aww, Ellie! That’s so sweet!” 

Vaggie smiled. “Yeah, thanks. I, uh… appreciate the sentiment.” 

Eleanora just flashed them all a wink and finger gunned them. “I got you, fam. Maybe next time we can have some… quali-tea? Ey? Eyyyy?” She looked at Lucifer, who was gaping at her, his red eyes wide. “No? Not funny? Man, I thought that joke was tea-riffic.” 

She sighed and folded her arms over her chest, pouting.

“Water we going to do now? That really didn’t land the way I was hoping.” 

Silence. 

“...O~kay, no more puns. Got it.” 

Charlie snorted, bringing a hand up to cover the lower half of her face, and Vaggie shook her head. From beside Eleanora, Lucifer bit his lip, holding his half-empty glass of water with both hands as his shoulders began to shake. Everyone turned to look at him in surprise when he leaned forward, a weak yet almost relieved chuckle escaping his lips as he looked up at the brunette, his eyes crinkling fondly. “That was horrible.” 

Eleanora made a face. “I thought it was hilarious.” 

“I’m starting to think you truly believe that.”

She gasped, turning in her chair to properly face him. “Excuse me! Those jokes were classic!” 

“Mmhm.” Lucifer hummed, a grin spreading across his lips as he lifted his glass to take another drink. “I’m sure they were.” 

“Hah!” Despite her behavior, Eleanora wasn’t actually offended; she actually found the banter quite delightful, as evident by the smile on her face. “Rude.” 

He just raised a brow at her, a slight smirk on his lips, as he took a sip of his water. 

Fuck, I’m already crushing. 

She could be so hopeless sometimes, honestly. 

Eleanora forced herself to turn her head away, picking up her own glass as she tried to ignore the burning in her cheeks. Damn him and his audacity. He was so anxious not even five minutes ago; where did this sass come from!? Maybe her puns were a little too effective. 

“Thank you for cooking, Vaggie!” 

Vaggie offered a smile. “Of course. Thanks for actually joining us for once.” 

At that, Charlie cringed while Eleanora looked uncomfortably to the side, her good mood immediately gone. The blonde-haired princess turned to look down at her girlfriend, frowning. “Vaggie…” 

“What? I meant it.” 

Lucifer blinked, watching as Eleanora poked what little remained of her food with her fork. He glanced back at Charlie and Vaggie. “Ellie doesn’t normally join you for meals?” 

“It’s okay!” Charlie hurriedly said, already attempting to do damage control. She held her hands up in the air, smiling as brightly as she could. “It’s been… a lot for her to process, and a lot of Hell’s food isn’t exactly what she’s used to either, so… it’s been an… adjustment. She does eat! I think. I’m pretty sure.” 

Vaggie snorted and leaned back into her seat, folding her arms over her chest. “Yeah, bread.” 

“Which is very filling!” Charlie exclaimed, holding a finger up in the air. 

“And eggs, I guess.” Vaggie added after a moment of thought. “But that’s… not that filling.” 

Eleanora was looking more and more uncomfortable with each thing said. “At least I’m eating.” 

Lucifer hadn’t thought much about it earlier, but her plate wasn’t exactly filled with a whole lot when they first sat down. Eleanora had eaten everything he created earlier, and there was a lot of food, but for as happily as she devoured all of that earlier her dinner plate had only a store-bought roll and a few small scoops of fried rice. She completely avoided the pork chops Vaggie cooked.

It’s been hours, so she should be hungry, but she didn’t… eat as much as she should. 

No wonder she was so thin. “How long have you been in Hell?” 

Eleanora paused, turning to give him a confused look. “Almost a week…? Why?” 

Lucifer hmph’d and lifted a hand, snapping his fingers. 

The human woman yelped when the leftover pork chop suddenly vanished from the tray on the counter and appeared on her plate. As that happened, several plates and bowls of various dinner foods appeared on the table- ham, mashed potatoes, freshly baked bread, gravy, baked macaroni. 

Eleanora, Charlie, and Vaggie were all shocked, but the devil king just looked stern. 

“Eat.” Lucifer told the brunette, standing up and reaching over to stab a couple slices of ham with a two-pronged fork, plopping them on her plate. “My little Charlie and Maggie-” 

“Vaggie.” Charlie helpfully supplied, a smile blooming as she laced her hands together in front of her chest. “But, please, continue.” 

“-wouldn’t prepare anything that would be detrimental for you.” Eleanora leaned back in her seat, mildly intimidated by the sight of Lucifer leaning in front of her, holding onto the fork he stabbed into the ham. He frowned. “You’re human. A living, breathing human. You need to eat.” 

Well, fuck. “O-Okay…” 

If the King of Hell is getting on her case about it, she can’t really argue it. 

Lucifer’s expression brightened immediately. “Wonderful! Now, eat up!” He sat back down and patted her back with a laugh. “You’ll need your strength if you wanna survive Hell! Haha! Oh,” Turning his head, he beamed at Charlie and Vaggie, “feel free to dig in, you two! It’s for everyone!”  

Vaggie was baffled, reaching over to grab a scoop of baked macaroni. “What was even the point of me cooking…?” 

“I enjoy your cooking!” Charlie sang, leaning over to gently bump her head against hers. Vaggie blushed, her expression softening. “Just think of it as fancy seconds!”

Somehow, by some strange miracle, dinner continued a lot more smoothly after that. Eleanora chewed the pork chop slowly, trying to get used to the strange and unfamiliar Hell meat, before digging into the ham with a lot more gusto. Charlie offered her a piece of bread and she took it, listening while she ate as Charlie excitedly rambled to Lucifer about some of her plans for decorating the hotel. 

He didn’t look like he was entirely following along, most of it most likely flying over his head as he unintentionally zoned out and then zoned back in, startled and confused when he realized he missed something, but definitely seemed happy his daughter was enjoying herself. That was as good a start as any. 

It’ll take a while for him to ground himself in reality again, to not get lost in his head, but he was trying to listen for his daughter and that’s what counts. 

Baby steps. 

“Well, I should… probably get going now.” Lucifer made himself say a while after everyone finished eating, a couple hours of conversation passing by- conversation that was mostly Charlie and Vaggie talking at Lucifer and trying to drag Eleanora into it. They were all in the lounge again, having done another tour of the hotel just because that’s where their feet led them. He flashed his daughter a warm smile. “It… It was really nice seeing you again, kiddo.” 

“Same.” Charlie beamed, tears stinging her eyes. “I can’t wait until I can come over! I think I should be able to visit in a couple days. I’m thinking Wednesday?” 

“Uh, great! Yeah!” He nodded. “...What’s today?” 

“Sunday.” 

“Oh, wow! Haha! Is it?” Wow, of course today would be that day. The day the devil reunites with his daughter is the day religious humans go to church. “What are the chances!? I’ll… see you Wednesday, sweetheart!” Lucifer then flashed Vaggie an awkward grin, stepping back and pointing finger guns at her. Eleanora tried not to cringe, realizing he was mimicking her in his panic. “Look after my baby girl for me, Maggie! Hehe.” 

Vaggie offered him a polite smile, reaching out to hold Charlie’s hand. “Gladly.” 

“And~ you! Ellie!” He spun on his heel, looking at the woman who was standing in the corner watching the goodbyes take place. She startled, having not expected him to call on her. “Thanks for the help! I’ll… start working on my half of our deal! Cool? Cool! Make sure you eat whatever Maggie cooks you! Charlie!?”

“Yes?” His daughter perked up, red eyes sparkling. “What is it, Dad?” 

Lucifer hesitated, looking very reluctant to leave. He observed her face like today was the last day he’d ever get to see it. “I…” 

She pulled away from Vaggie and stepped forward, voice softening. “Yeah?” 

Lucifer reached out, gently grasping her hands in his, giving them a slight squeeze. Charlie did the same, looking down at her father with misty eyes. “I… I love you, Charlie. And I’m… sorry- that… I was gone for so long. I… shouldn’t have been.” 

“Dad…” 

“B-But I’ll be here now!” He promised, leaning forward on his tiptoes as he looked up at her. “I won’t ever leave you alone again! So… I’ll be waiting! Wh-What day did we agree on again?” 

“I’ll text it to you.” Charlie said, smiling shakily. “That way you won’t forget.” 

“Right! Y-Yeah, that would… that would probably be best.” Lucifer cringed. “My… memory isn’t what it used to be. Heh. Kind of why I don’t watch television anymore; it scrambles the brain!” He stuck out his tongue and made a few weird noises, giggling. “And mine’s scrambled enough! Haha!”  

Charlie just pulled him into another hug, leaning down and wrapping her arms around him, squeezing him tight. “That’s okay. We’ll find a way to work around it.” 

“O-Oh!” That surprised him. 

Lucifer’s features softened. It didn’t take long for him to melt into the hug. 

He rested his face against his daughter’s shoulder. “Thank you… Charlie. For giving me a second chance.” 

“Of course, Dad.” She held him tighter before releasing him, her hands resting lightly against his arms as he smiled up at her. “That’s what the hotel is all about, you know; giving people second chances. I’ve… been wanting to give you one for the longest time.” 

The devil king almost started crying then and there, but somehow managed to hold his tears back. “I’m… so sorry, Char.” 

“It’s okay. You’re here now.” 

“...I’ll see you soon.” His red eyes flashed determinedly. “I promise.” 

Charlie beamed. “I’ll see you Wednesday, Dad.” 

With that, Lucifer took a deep breath and vanished into a burst of red mist- teleporting away back to his castle. Eleanora felt herself relax. 

Unfortunately, no sooner had she done so did Charlie spin on her heel to face her, panic written all across her features. 

Eleanora squeaked when the blonde ran at her, grabbing at her shoulders and shaking her. “What happened between you two!? What’s going on!? How did you end up working with my dad!? What was that in the dining hall!? Why was he holding your hand!? Why were you holding his hand!?” 

Fuck. 

Vaggie seemed to realize there was no calming Charlie down until she got her answers, but did at least try and pry the princess off of Eleanora, coiling an arm around her waist and tugging her back. 

It was a very messy explanation Eleanora gave her, fumbling for the right words and stuttering all over the place, but the brunette made sure to emphasize to the panicking Charlie that she was merely being Lucifer’s emotional support and that there was nothing between them aside from… friendship. Because Lucifer called her a friend. So the hand holding was solely a platonic in-search-of-encouragement kind of thing. 

Charlie’s face was utterly flushed as she fanned herself, giggling awkwardly as she leaned against her much shorter girlfriend. “O-Oh! Okay! That… makes sense. Okay. Yeah. S-Sorry, I was just- I mean, you just got here, but i-it looked like you two were flirting a-and I didn’t know if Dad was finally moving on from Mom or if I would have to start treating you as my step-mom-” 

“Yeah, no!” Eleanora fervently waved a hand in the air, shaking her head. “Y-Yeah-ha-ha! Uh, we were not flirting. He definitely was not flirting. Um. I’m not gonna be your step-mom. But good for him if he does ever decide to remarry! I hope you’ll get along well with whoever that is. And… take the whole thing well. Haha… but no. No, no, no.” 

“Oh…” Charlie blinked, looking almost… disappointed? 

“I mean, he’s gorgeous- you definitely got your looks from him,” Eleanora was rambling now, hands moving about as she spoke, “and I’m starting to think a lot of your personality came from him, too? So, hey! The apple didn’t fall very far from the tree! Hehe. Because he’s… Lucifer? Who gave the apple to humanity? And… when a child is similar to a parent the saying’s- oh, forget it. I wasn’t flirting with your dad!” 

The blonde’s face was completely blank. 

Eleanora looked nervous. 

She watched as Charlie lifted a hand to her chin, going deep into thought. “It really felt like you were, though…” 

Heaven save her. Eleanora felt like her face was going to combust it was so red, her voice raising a couple octaves. “I wasn’t!” 

“...What if he was flirting with you?” Charlie suddenly asked, thoughts clearly running a thousand miles per hour. Vaggie looked up at the princess curiously, wondering where she was going with this. “What if… Dad really is trying to move on? I…” 

Charlie was silent. 

For a long moment she looked sad, but then her eyes lit up and she brightened. “I think it would be really good for him! Kinda awkward,” Charlie deepened her voice, making a face and wave a hand sideways, before smiling widely again, “since we have the pact and all, and we’re kinda friends, but overall I think it’d be great!” 

She clapped her hands together, leaning down so she was closer in height to the much shorter human. Eleanora leaned back, intimidated, her eyes wide as could be and her face as red at Charlie’s suit. 

“Yeah! We’re all mature adults here! Why don’t you go for it, El?” 

Eleanora looked like a statue with how she had frozen completely still. “...Hah?” 

“If my dad likes you… and you like my dad…” Charlie circled her index fingers around each other, grinning ear-to-ear. “Why don’t you go for it!? You’re a good person! I trust you. Dad probably needs someone by his side anyway, and he seems to like you enough that he’s willing to hold hands with you and rely on you!” 

At that, Vaggie finally stepped in- reaching an arm out for the second time to separate Charlie from the very startled Eleanora. “Charlie. Babe. El is human.” 

“And?” She looked confused. “My mom used to be human before she fell down with my dad.” 

Wait, what? “Who was your mom!?” 

“Lilith!” Charlie answered brightly. “She was one of the first humans.” 

Eleanora looked deeply confused. “I thought Adam and Eve were the first humans?” 

“Lilith came first.” The princess kindly explained, smiling at her. “It’s a long story. I have a book! I can read it to you tomorrow, if you want?” 

“Uh… sure?” 

“Anyways!” Charlie stood up straight and rested her hands on her hips, turning to look down at Vaggie with furrowed brows and a bit of a pout. “What makes you think Eleanora can’t be with my dad?” 

“She’s a human.” Vaggie repeated. “One who didn’t fall or die and wind up here. If she gets with your dad, she won’t be able to go back home.” 

Charlie’s eyes went wide and she gasped, her mouth going agape. “Ooooh… that’s… y-yeah.” 

She brought a hand up to her chin, fingers resting over her mouth. 

“Good point. But… it’s not like we even know how to get her home in the first place…” 

Eleanora puffed out her cheeks and huffed, throwing her hands up in the air. “Are either of you listening to anything I’m saying!?” 

The two women turned to look at her, surprised by the outburst. Around them, the human was normally quiet and behaved. They’ve never even seen her act as silly as she did at the dinner table until today, and she’s certainly never raised her voice at them. 

“Lucifer and I were not- and I repeat, not- flirting! We were just holding hands because he was scared he’d screw things up and needed the support! He’s been terrified of contacting Charlie for years because he was scared she’d hate him!” Eleanora bit her lip, glancing to the side as she gripped the hem of her blue button-up. “I was just… being a good friend! Good friends support each other. Admittedly I just became his friend today, but… the point still stands.” 

She looked back up at them. 

“There’s nothing more to it.” 

Charlie looked shocked at the information the human just gave her, but didn’t focus on it for very long, her features shifting into one of disappointment. “If you’re sure…” 

“Trust me, hon.” Eleanora made a face, her smile a bit strained as she clapped her hands together. “I’m sure.” 

That conversation was probably the most draining thing of the day. 

As Vaggie pulled Charlie away, saying they should probably start getting ready for bed- the girlfriends going to take a shower before dressing in their pajamas- Eleanora could hear Charlie mumbling as they walked away. 

“Dad was definitely flirting… wasn’t he? I mean, he’s eccentric but he’s not… normally like that with other people.” 

“If he’s anything like you, babe,” Vaggie said, patting the blonde’s back, “then I’d give it a strong maybe.” 

Eleanora smacked a palm to her face. 

Jesus Christ-! He was not flirting! 

Lucifer would never. 

Not wanting to hear anymore about her and the devil king, Eleanora rubbed her face and marched up the stairs to where her dingy bedroom was waiting, tossing on her black star patterned joggers and loose blue tank top, and collapsed on her bed to sleep. 

Today has been such a mess. She was exhausted. 

…What they said earlier was lingering in her head, though. 

If she was to get together with Lucifer, she wouldn’t be able to return home. Is that because she’s a human and he’s a fallen angel? Or would it be the same if she were to get with anyone that wasn’t human? Whether it was a demon or fallen angel, if she were to marry them, would she be trapped forever? 

She has absolutely no intention of doing so, but it did make her curious about what all the rules in Hell were. 

Reaching over to her desk, still laying on her back, Eleanora picked up her phone and flipped open the screen. She scrolled through her contacts and opened the app she normally used to message her second eldest sister. 

Her eyes starting to sting, worrying her bottom lip, Eleanora spent about ten minutes rereading previous conversations, as well as new messages- messages that were being sent to her, yet she was unable to respond to. 

In a feat of kindness, Charlie had made it so she could access Hell’s internet and social network with her phone from Earth. She’s been receiving texts and messages from her family, who have all been losing their minds over her disappearance, but nothing she’s tried to send has gone through. She’s just been… watching them slowly lose their minds. 

It’s been killing her bit-by-bit inside, more and more with each passing day.

She’s always wondered how they might react if she one day disappeared, but she never actually expected it to happen. She never expected them to care so much. The reason they were still messaging her after the several days she’s spent down here is probably because they see she’s reading their texts. Maybe they’re hoping she’ll respond back one day, or they can use her smartphone to track her. 

But… Eleanora doubts a GPS can pinpoint Hell.

Setting her phone back down and plugging it in, she curled up into a ball under the thin blankets, grabbing one of the extra pillows and hugging it close to her chest. 

“It’s okay, it’s alright…” She sang quietly to herself, hoping it would comfort herself as much as it seemed to comfort Lucifer. “To play the fool has always been my plight…” 

Lips curling back, she squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

“In this tiny circus show…”

She inhaled shakily. 

“I’m the nameless Pierrot.” 

…

If it wasn’t for Charlie knocking on her door the next morning for breakfast, Eleanora would have slept all day. 

She grimaced and sat up, yawning loudly with a tired, “I’m awake!” 

“Oh, yay!” She heard the blonde exclaim from the other side of the door. “Vaggie’s heating up some of the leftovers from last night, so feel free to come down and join us once you’re ready! We’re having ham for breakfast! Hehe.” 

There was the sound of footsteps, and then Charlie was gone. 

Eleanora fell back down onto her back, sinking into the rickety mattress, and sighed. She shot an arm out to fondle the desk for her phone, bringing it over to stare at the screen. She had multiple texts from her second eldest sister asking how she’s doing, if she’s okay, and even telling her about her day. Her oldest sister was asking where she was at and if she could please respond already. Her brother… 

Gods, his depression had already been so bad before, but now-

He wasn’t even asking her questions. His messages were just very short, “Hey” and “You there?” and “Hey” over and over again. 

Leaning her head back, Eleanora closed her eyes and swallowed back the lump that caught in her throat, resting her phone against her chest. She wasn’t a Sinner, but it honestly felt like she was being punished for something she had no control over. It wasn’t as if she wanted to be summoned into Hell. 

Feeling her phone vibrate again, Eleanora bit down hard on her bottom lip, her heart feeling like it was being torn apart. She had half a mind to just ignore the messages. 

They would stop after breakfast, then pick up again after lunch all the way until dinner. Then it would be radio silence until the next day. 

But… her phone was still vibrating…and in a way that wasn’t the usual string of texts.

It was almost like she was getting a phone call. Something that shouldn’t be happening, seeing as she can’t receive the calls despite being able to read the texts. She’s gotten so many missed calls because of it, all of them being sent immediately straight to voicemail without her phone ever vibrating. She shouldn’t be getting a call. 

Greatly confused, she forced herself to lift it up and look at the screen- only to blink, startled when she saw it was Lucifer who was calling her. 

That checks out, she supposed. 

She really needed to set a ringtone for him. 

Voice a bit raspy from sleep, she answered the call and went, “Hello…?” 

“O-Oh! You picked up! Haha!” 

“Yeah… uh, good… morning?” This was weird. 

“Good morning~!” The devil king sang, sounding quite chipper. Eleanora was not a morning person, but she wasn’t going to be upset at hearing his singing voice first thing after waking up. It oddly brightened her mood a bit.  “So, have you eaten yet? A human in Hell needs their nutrients~! Oh, what about Charlie? Has she eaten?” 

“Uh… we were about to. She’s with Vaggie getting it ready.” Eleanora squinted and sat up, fixing her tank top. “I… just woke up.” 

“Oh! Wow. Um. So I called you right on time then?” 

She made a face. “Kind of…?” 

“Fantastic! Well, I’ll… leave you to breakfast! Call me once you’re free, okay? I, uh, wanna talk to you about our deal.” 

“O-Okay…” Frick, she almost forgot about that. “Will do.” 

“Great! Make sure to finish whatever Maggie makes you! And make sure Char-Char eats her fill! My baby girl needs to stay healthy.” 

“…Have you eaten?” 

“Huh?” 

Eleanora isn’t sure what possessed her to ask that question, but she found herself pulling her knees up to her chest, hugging them close as she spoke to Lucifer over the phone. “M-Make sure you eat, too, okay?”

When all she received was silence, she felt her heart twist a little, but she soon relaxed when she heard him respond, “Y-Yeah… I’ll… do that.” 

“You can’t run Hell on an empty stomach.” Eleanora tried to joke. 

“Ha! Haha!” Oof. Forced laughter. “Touché! Well, uh, I will, um, let you go. Until later. Don’t forget to call me back!” 

“Aye-aye, Your Majesty.” 

She waited until he hung up, then stared at her phone blankly, wondering what possessed the devil king to call her so early in the morning, before deciding not to think about it and instead headed to her bathroom to wash her face, brush her teeth, and get ready for the day. 

Seriously, what the hell was that? Normally he waited until at least noon to start spamming her with calls to ask about his daughter. 

Well… it’s fine, she supposed. 

A little weird, but fine. 

What would be a good ringtone for him? Ducktales? Nah, too obvious. Hrm…

Once Eleanora was dressed, she went downstairs to the dining hall where she awkwardly greeted Charlie and Vaggie, who were setting the table and getting ready to eat. 

Charlie immediately began talking about her plans for the day once they sat down and started eating, informing the human about how she and Vaggie were going to go into town looking for recruits. She asked Eleanora if she could stay in the hotel where it’s safe, telling her Razzle and Dazzle- two little flying dragons with the doofiest and cutest faces she’s ever seen- would protect her until they got back. 

Eleanora nodded, agreeing easily, not exactly keen on heading out into dangerous territory. She was also quite fond of Razzle and Dazzle, always having had a special interest in dragons and enjoying lizards in general due to her oldest sister’s own special obsession. 

Dragons were the best, and~ Razzle and Dazzle were itty bitty dragons. How could she not love them? 

“I’ll show you the book before we leave!” Charlie promised. “It’s something my mom left behind for me, but it pretty much tells the story of how she and my dad ended up in Hell, and why all the Sinners arrive here.” 

Ah, the true story behind the forbidden fruit. A grin crossed the brunette’s face. “I do like apples.” 

“Huh?” 

Eleanora blinked, realizing she said that aloud. She flashed Charlie a small grin. “Sorry. I, uh, was thinking about Adam and Eve. The apple? I like apples. Can’t blame her for eating it. They’re delicious. Apples are actually my favorite fruit. Grapes are a close second, though. Oh! And watermelon- but I’m picky about the texture.”  

Charlie just stared at the brunette then, something strange flashing in her eyes, before her face lit up. “My dad loves apples, too! Or, he did when I was little. I think he still does? He was obsessed with caramel apples for a time-“ 

Oh, gods, mistakes have been made. “I was just-“ 

“You two sure do have a lot in common!” She laughed. Charlie flashed Eleanora wink, sending her a finger gun. Vaggie hit her head against the table, groaning. Charlie was truly her father’s daughter. “No wonder you guys hit it off so well yesterday! Haha…!”

Eleanora took a deep breath to calm herself. “Charlie, sweetie, you remember what I told you about my relationship history?” 

The princess faltered, becoming increasingly disheartened. “You don’t… date?”

“Mmhm.” Eleanora stabbed a slice of ham with her fork, lifting it up to her lips with a sickeningly sweet smile. She tried not to remember how Lucifer piled food up on her dinner plate last night, the devil king having shown a surprising amount of concern for her wellbeing. “I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I don’t smoke, and I don’t do relationships.” 

“B-But that’s because you’re scared of being betrayed!” Charlie exclaimed, standing up and smacking her hands against the table. 

Eleanora jumped, startled by her behavior and the sudden callout, and Vaggie lifted her head in shock, having not expected her girlfriend to be so passionate about this particular subject. 

“You said it yourself; you’ve seen dozens of people be abused or cheated on, and your own siblings be betrayed and threatened by their past partners, so you don’t want any of that! You don’t want to be used and abandoned. But my dad would never do anything like that!” Charlie’s eyes welled up with tears, looking heartbroken as she spoke about the brunette’s reasoning for avoiding relationships. “I know he’s the King of Hell and that can maybe give off the wrong impression, but he would never hurt you! You can trust him!” 

“Do you seriously want me to be your step-mom?” Eleanora choked. 

Charlie opened her mouth to give a retort, but hesitated. “I… I just want you guys to be happy. If we can’t… find a way to get you back home, El, you’ll be stuck here.”

So… what? “That doesn’t mean I have to date your dad.”

Eleanora can not believe those words just came out of her mouth. She can’t even believe she’s having this conversation. 

“Besides,” The brunette made herself continue, about to take a bite of her ham, “I doubt I’m his type.” 

Charlie looked like she wanted to protest, but Vaggie grabbed her arm and caused her to look down at her. The silver-haired beauty shook her head slowly, giving Charlie some very sympathetic eyes. They both turned to look as Eleanora attempted to calmly finish her breakfast, avoiding eye contact with both girls as she munched on her ham. 

“If I’m stuck in Hell forever, then I’m stuck in Hell forever.” The human rationalized as she set her fork down, furrowing her brows and staring with narrowed eyes at her empty plate. She tried not to think about the hole forming in her chest as she spoke. “I don’t see why I have to enter a relationship just because of it. I’ve been happily single, by choice, until now.” 

Besides, he’s… Lucifer Morningstar. 

She’s lucky enough he’s even considering her as a friend, although the only reason he’s doing so is because of his daughter. Without Charlie, Lucifer wouldn’t even glance in Eleanora’s direction. 

Why am I even thinking about this? Why is she even upset about it? I need to go home. 

“Charlie, I…” Eleanora faltered and took a deep breath, struggling to find the words. When she looked up, her expression was pained, and Charlie met her gaze with sad eyes. “I… appreciate… what you’re doing for me. What you’re… trying to do. But it’s not gonna happen. It’s not gonna work. I have no interest in dating-“

Maybe only a smidgen of curiosity. 

“-and your dad has no interest in me. He only talks to me to ask about you,” Although the phone call this morning was really weird since it didn’t feel as Charlie-focused as usual, “and- okay, sure. Maybe I do… find him… pretty, but attraction doesn’t equal affection and I sincerely, sincerely, doubt he’s attracted to me. So.” 

She held her hands up in a sassy dismissive shrug. 

“Yeah.” 

Charlie just gaped at Eleanora, before slumping forward and smacking a hand to her face, dragging her fingers slowly downwards. She looked disturbed. “Bringing this up feels like a mistake. I never wanna hear anyone describe or talk about my dad being attractive ever again. I regret everything.”

Vaggie snorted, patting her on the back, while Eleanora barked an awkward laugh. “So stop bringing it up!” 

“I-I’m sorry, I just-!” The blonde held her hands out in front of her, before brushing her bangs back, frustrated and flustered and concerned. “I want you to be happy, and I want my dad to be happy, and you two were really hitting it off last night at dinner so I thought- maybe- you two could find… happiness… together?” 

Charlie shook her head, propping her elbows up on the table with a groan. 

“I… I’ll admit, I’m not… really over my parents divorce yet, but I want them to be happy! I really do! And while I’d love for them to get back together, I… I know that’s not gonna happen! So… if it’s possible, I’d like for them to find happiness… even if it’s separately. If being with you could make Dad happy and make you happy, then…” 

She peered up at Eleanora, giving her the saddest puppy eyes in existence. 

“I really wanted to encourage you guys to go for it! I mean, I know Hell isn’t your home, but… if push comes to shove and we can’t get you back, I… want to help you find a home. If that home just happened to be with my dad, then, well…” Charlie shrugged, giving the brunette a bashful smile. “I’d be okay with that.” 

Charlie was… so insanely sweet and caring, it was hard to believe she was technically the anti-Christ. 

Holy fuck. 

“I… I appreciate that, but…” Eleanora breathed in a little shakily and rested a hand against the lower half of her face, leaning back into her chair as she tried to process this. 

Charlie must have been up all night thinking about this despite how much Eleanora tried to deny the claims yesterday. To think she came to such a decision so quickly- 

Her emotional maturity was truly something else. “There’s really nothing going on between me and your dad.” 

The princess pouted. “Okay… fine. I’ll give up. But just so you know, if you guys ever do start catching the feels…” 

Charlie waggled her fingers at her and flashed her a big toothy grin, resting a hand against her chest. Her eyes crinkled affectionately, her expression soft. 

“You have my blessing.” 

A conversation has never felt so uncomfortable and yet so wholesome. “…Thank you?” 

Charlie giggled. “You're welcome! Oooh~ how about we get to reading now!? Vaggie and I have a big day of wandering town, so we should go ahead and get this out of the way! Come on, come on, let’s clean all this up!”

Everyone having finished eating, the three women got to work clearing the table. Eleanora did the dishes while Charlie wiped down the table, and Vaggie dried everything Eleanora washed. It was a fairly efficient way of doing things, although Vaggie scolded Eleanora lightly for splashing her with water when she was trying to rinse off a spoon. 

The human apologized profusely for it, but the woman just took it in stride and laughed, nudging her with her elbow. “Relax~ I’m not mad. Just be more careful, okay? What if you sprayed Charlie?” 

Eleanora immediately looked horrified at the thought, which only made Vaggie laugh harder.

“We won’t kick you out, promise! Her suit’s just a nightmare to clean.” 

Ah. That makes sense. 

“Awww, are you guys bonding!?” Charlie popped out from behind them, causing the two women to yelp and shout in surprise and mild fright, and they turned to see the princess cooing at them. “We’re making friends! Oooh, I just knew today was gonna be great!” 

Eleanora yelped when Charlie tugged her and Vaggie into an abrupt group hug. Being the shortest one there, the human felt a little like she was suffocating. 

“Just you wait and see, El! Even if we can’t get you back to your old home, I’ll show you Hell can be the perfect place to make a new one!” 

Wow. “Sounds like you’ve, uh, really given up on me going back, huh?” 

“What? Oh, no!” Charlie let go of her and Vaggie immediately, stepping back and holding her hands up in a panic. “No, no, no! That’s not what I meant! I just- I was just trying to say, it’s good to keep an open mind! We never know what’s going to happen, after all!” 

Eleanora hummed, not giving it much thought before shrugging. “Yeah, fair enough.” 

That said, she can feel her phone vibrating like crazy inside her pocket as her siblings continued to send her one-way messages. It was driving her insane trying not to look at them, and even more so knowing she won’t be able to respond. They should have stopped by now, but they seemed especially unsettled and frantic today. 

So, to distract herself, she plastered on a smile and followed Charlie and Vaggie into the lounge, where they plopped down on a worn sofa. Holding her hands out, a red book with golden accents appeared in a puff of smoke onto Charlie’s lap, and the princess held it up with a big grin. 

“Okay, here we go!” She exclaimed, opening it up to the front page. Charlie looked at Eleanora with a big grin. “Are you ready?” 

“To learn the Story of Hell?” She asked, raising her brows as she leaned against the armrest, propping her chin up, quoting the title of the book. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” 

Charlie squealed, to Vaggie’s amusement, and looked down at the pages. “Okay, okay! Here goes.”

She took a deep breath, relaxing as her girlfriend casually leaned against her side, Vaggie holding her arm as she snuggled up with her, before starting to read, 

“Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light- beings known as Angels, who worshiped good and shielded all from evil.” Charlie read with a surprisingly strong and clear voice, adding emotion only when necessary. “Lucifer… was one of these angels.” 

Eleanora nodded along slowly, listening intently to the tale that was being told. “Okay, that’s… pretty close to what I know.” 

Charlie just flashed her a sad smile and continued, “He was a dreamer- one with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But… he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven, for they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world, and so he could only watch as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways…” 

The human sat up straighter, moving to try and get a look at the pages in the book, noticing it had artwork. There was a heartbreaking image of a silhouette being scolded and ignored, abandoned, by disturbing creatures with multiple eyes. 

Lucifer…

When Charlie flipped the page, Eleanora saw two tall figures- a man and a woman- drawn standing in a garden. “From the dust of the Earth, they created Adam and Lilith- equals as the first of mankind. But despite this… Adam demanded control, and Lilith refused to submit to his will. She fled the garden of Eden.” 

“Now this is what I didn’t know.” Eleanora murmured, gazing at the artwork closely. “I thought Lilith was some kind of angel turned demon, but she was the first human woman… even before Eve?” 

“Earth’s gotten things a little confused.” Charlie confessed. She flipped the page. “Drawn in by Lilith’s fierce independence, Lucifer found her… and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love.” 

Page by page, the princess continued to read aloud, and Eleanora found herself fascinated with the illustrations. There was something so grim about them, even in the pages that spoke of beauty and light. 

Most fascinating was perhaps the way the apple tree was drawn, and how the leaves were dyed red and how you could see the roots that dug into the ground. Almost like it was supposed to represent the roots of evil. 

From this point on, the story followed what Eleanora was pretty much taught by her parents and the churches she went to when she was young; Lucifer wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, so he offered the fruit of knowledge, an apple, to Adam’s new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted it. But, unlike in the old biblical stories, Lilith was there beside Lucifer as they fed Eve the forbidden fruit. 

And… according to the story book, that gift of knowledge came with a curse. 

“With this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth.” Charlie told her, expression and voice both solemn as she read. “A new realm of darkness and sin was formed, and the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created, never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel… and the wicked.”

The princess became sad, running her fingers across the image of her parents falling into the abyss of evil, only to turn the page once again and keep reading. 

“Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream. But Lilith thrived, empowering demon-kind with her voice and her songs- and as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power.” Eleanora made a face, wondering if Lilith was the reason everyone in Hell liked to sing. “Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision.”

Wait, what?

“Every year, they would send down an army, an extermination, to ensure Hell and its Sinners could never rise against them.” Taking a deep breath, Charlie closed the book and turned to face Eleanora with a bittersweet smile. “That’s… the story of how my parents met and how Hell was created… and why I want to open this hotel and help Sinners redeem themselves so they can get into Heaven. What do you think?”

“Uh…” The brunette blinked. “I’m sorry, I’m still processing that last part. Heaven commits yearly genocide!?” 

Charlie cringed and Vaggie’s face went dark, turning away and not looking at either of them. Resting a hand on her girlfriend’s arm, book sitting safely on her lap, Charlie’s smile became a little more strained. “I… try not to call it that, but… yeah. Basically. The next extermination is gonna happen pretty soon. We have around two weeks left.” 

“WWWWWhat!?” 

There was so much Eleanor felt she needed to ask. 

How could Heaven be Heavenly when it’s committing one of the worst crimes in existence? Will Eleanora even be safe during the next extermination? What will happen if an Angel sees her? Will they try to drag her into Heaven? How many people do they normally kill at once? 

But… she couldn’t quite get the words out. “Uh, o-okay. Um. Yikes.” 

“Yeahhhh.” Charlie scrunched up her nose. “It’s pretty bad. But hey! The hotel will put a stop to all of that! Vaggie and I just… need to go out and recruit some people first.” 

Eleanora flashed her a weak smile. “Good luck?”

Charlie brightened. “Thanks! Well, Vaggie and I should get going now… so… see you when we get back!” She stood up and set the book on the sofa where she had been previously sitting. She cupped her hands over her mouth. “Razzle, Dazzle!” 

At her call, the two little dragons flew over from wherever they were upstairs. Charlie flashed them a beaming smile as she rested her hands on her hips.

“Look after El for me, okay? I’m counting on you!” 

Neither said anything, not a single thought behind those big eyes of theirs, their tongues sticking out like they were puppies, but Charlie took that as their response and stepped forward, giving them some scritches. 

“That’s my wittle bodyguards~ you do such a good job, yes, you do! Protect the human for me, okay? Thank you~!” She gave them each a kiss on the head before turning to her girlfriend, who was sliding off the sofa and making her way over to the hotel’s front door. “Wait for me, Vaggie! Hehe. I just know we’ll find someone today!” 

She took off running, waving at Eleanora as she got ready to leave.

“Bye, El~! We’ll be back!” 

And with that… Eleanora was left alone in the hotel- accompanied by only the two dragons who had stopped flying to plop themselves beside her on the sofa, and… the demon cat, Keekee, who was surely lounging about somewhere. 

Leaning sideways, Eleanora slumped across the armrest, her phone vibrating like crazy again. 

“I guess… I should call Lucifer now?” Charlie and Vaggie left, and the constant vibrating of her phone reminded her of her conversation with the devil king from this morning. “An extermination… holy shit… I mean, I guess the Bible did have some pretty fucked up stuff, but… Heaven committing genocide?” 

She looked at Razzle and Dazzle. 

“Can ya’ll believe this?” 

Heaven was crueler than Eleanora ever imagined. 

Not only did they completely crush a man who just wanted to share the wonders of the world with humanity, but now they’re committing mass murder. She wondered if this played a huge part in Lucifer’s depression- alongside the very painful and obvious fact that Lilith and Lucifer apparently fell down together, were punished together, and had likely been together for thousands upon thousands of years before getting a divorce. 

It’s no wonder why the man still wore his wedding ring; he must have been truly, wholly, deeply in love. 

If the person Eleanora fell into Hell with and had suffered eternity together with had decided to up and leave her one day, after having already lost everything once before, she’d fall apart too. 

Holy fuck, that’s messed up. 

Charlie has been taking her parents divorce remarkably well all things considered. Princess of Hell? Lucifer may as well already hand her the crown because she is a queen. 

Especially since she’s actively wishing her parents can find happiness even if it’s no longer beside each other. She’s such a good kid. Such a good kid, in fact, that she doesn’t realize how impossible it would be for Eleanora to even try and compete with a woman like Lilith if she ever decided, against her better judgment, to try and pursue Lucifer.

How is she even supposed to call him after the conversations she had with Charlie? There’s no way she’ll be able to look him in the eye. 

Oh, gods, she’s in trouble. 

Unfortunately, she can’t just not call him… since he’s the King of Hell. That’s just asking for something bad to happen. 

With a flustered groan, Eleanora dragged a hand down her face before picking up her phone and dialing the devil king’s number, anxiously petting Razzle- who had climbed halfway onto her lap- as she did so. She was startled at how quickly Lucifer picked up. 

“You called back!” 

“W-Well, yeah…” He told her to. “I said I would.”

“Ha! Fair enough. Uh, are you free right now?” 

“Your daughters left to find some hotel recruits, so… yeah.” 

“Ah.” Odd response. “Well, since you aren’t busy…” 

She heard something like the snap of his fingers, and jumped up onto the sofa’s armrest- apologizing to Razzle for startling him- when she saw a flicker of gold appear, like a tear in the fabric of reality, before it expanded into a circular… portal? “What in the holy macaroni mackerels is that!?” 

“…What?”

“Don’t ask. What the frick is that thing!?” 

“It’s a portal. Walk through it.” 

“…Why?” 

“So we can talk in person?” 

Eleanora slowly slid off the sofa, patting the floating Razzle on the head before hesitantly approaching the portal. She couldn’t see anything through the golden light. “Do you have any idea how suspicious this is? Why should I trust this?” 

“Well~ if you want that bank account I promised… and if you want to learn how to call on me if you ever end up in danger…” 

Ah, damn it. “You… ugh, fiiine.” 

He’s lucky he’s cute. 

“But! Just so you know!” She said into the phone, glaring at it. “If this is a trap and I die, I’mma come back and haunt you! Angel or Demon, it don’t matter. I will come find you.” 

She heard Lucifer snort. “Good luck with that, sweetheart.” 

Eleanora balked at that, wondering if she misheard him, before she shook her head and dismissed it, her face burning hot. He was clearly just messing with her. Taking a deep breath, she made a face and stepped forward, reaching out with a hand to tentatively touch the light. 

She blinked in surprise. “It’s… warm.” 

If Lucifer was still on the line, he didn’t say anything. 

Eleanora glanced over her shoulder at Razzle and Dazzle, eyes widening when she saw Keekee peer at her from over on the main stairwell. She hasn’t seen much of the demon cat- to her chagrin, as she loved cats- so it was interesting she was coming out now of all times, but Eleanora chose not to linger on it, instead turning back around and bravely stepping into the light, squeezing her eyes shut. 

All she felt was warmth, a gentle heat that brushed over her skin. It almost felt like she was walking through water, yet rather than being met with resistance it seemed to be guiding her forward. 

When the warmth faded and she opened her eyes, she blinked and looked around with wide eyes, realizing she was standing in Lucifer’s office. Eleanora spun on her heel, gasping in amazement, before pausing when saw Lucifer sitting at a table, a teacup held to his smirking lips, one leg crossed over the other. His phone was held close to his face. “Uh… hi.” 

“Still going to haunt me?” He asked, voice right in her ear due to the call still going on.

Eleanora’s face burned. 

To make matters worse, Lucifer had chosen to not wear his jacket today, instead showing off his white-and-red striped vest and pure white button-up. He even had his sleeves rolled up, showcasing his forearms as he had apparently decided to wear short gloves today. He also had on the cutest hat? 

It’s the same one he wore when they first met, but she didn’t pay it much attention before in her panic. 

It was a white top hat with a red sash and red inside, but it had a golden snake coiled around it, an apple that was very deceiving but clearly fake tucked inside it on the left. There were three little golden spikes resembling a crown behind them. It was adorable. 

And it took everything Eleanora had to end the call, tuck her phone away, and shove her hands into her pockets, turning to the side with a flustered pout. “Maybe.” 

Lucifer laughed- the sound so genuine it left her stunned. Whipping her head around, the human gazed at him with big eyes, and watched as he set his teacup down on its little saucer. He tucked his phone into his pants pocket.

When Lucifer smiled at her, the rosy dots on his cheeks were a bit brighter and bigger than usual, and Eleanora stood in place, frozen, as he laced his hands together under his chin and leaned forward, elbows propped up on the table. 

The devil king waved a hand at the empty seat across from him, inviting her over. “Please, take a seat. The sooner we get this whole deal~ business figured out, the better.” 

Eleanora did as told. 

She felt incredibly awkward as she sat down, attempting to push all memories she had of her conversations with Charlie into the back of her mind, but found it rather difficult to do so with the way Lucifer was grinning at her, his sharp teeth bared wide as could be. 

Once she was comfortably seated, Lucifer reached out to pick up the elephant teapot, pouring her a cup of tea. She murmured a small thank you, earning another smile from him, only to blink in surprise when he waved his hand and several small sandwiches and sweets appeared on a fancy three-tiered tray. 

“So!” He cleared his throat, leaning back into his seat as he picked up a tiny caramel coated peanut. He had some dark circles under his eyes, like maybe he didn’t sleep well, but otherwise appeared to be in a good mood. “You… remember the terms of our deal, right? You~ help me with Charlie, and I~ make your life in Hell go as smoothly as I can.” 

“R-Right. Yeah.” She gave Lucifer a small nod, hesitating before grabbing a tiny sandwich, noticing with glee that it was just cheese and meat. “S-Something about being your assistant?” 

“Exacto-mundo!” He exclaimed, tossing the peanut in his mouth and snapping his fingers at her. Chewing quickly, he swallowed and stood up, palms smacking the tabletop. “It’s not your typical assistant job, but I’ll pay you well for it. You just answer my calls and come over when I ask you to, and answer any and all questions I have about Charlie. You’re gonna be spending a lot of time with my little girl, so… you can tell me whatever it is you find out- likes, dislikes, enemies…” 

Lucifer said that last part with a bit of a demonic growl, his red irises turning into slits, leaning forward as his eyes glowed, and Eleanora tensed up, feeling a lump catch in her throat as goosebumps ran along her arms. Her mouth suddenly felt very dry. 

That should not have been as attractive as it was. 

Just gonna… casually take a sip of my tea. 

She lifted her cup up to her lips, nodding along to Lucifer’s words. He beamed at her. “Little things like that! Okie dokie?” 

“S-Sounds good.” 

Lucifer’s eyes softened, something warm flashing in his scarlet gaze, and Eleanora awkwardly shoved the little bite-sized sandwich she was holding into her mouth. The less she talked the better, because she knows once she starts she probably won’t be able to shut up. “Hm…” 

There was something very snake-like about the smile he sent her, none of his teeth showing yet still somehow managing to be intimidating. It almost looked like he was trying to see through her. 

“Y’know, Ellie… you’re being oddly quiet today.” 

“I-I just…” She gave a stiff shrug. “I just don’t have anything to add. I dunno how this “deal” stuff works. I barely understand the pact Charlie made with me.” 

Lucifer scrunched up his face, sticking his lips out in a sour pout as he sat back down. “Riiiight… that was a thing, wasn’t it? The pact. The one you made with my daughter. Ugh.” 

He leaned into his seat, uncrossing his legs and stretching them out to the side as he tilted his chair backwards dramatically, hands just barely onto the table

“I can’t believe you made a pact with my little Charlie! I can’t- I've been trying to wrap my head around it, but, wow, I just… can’t believe it! Do you know how hard it is for humans and demons to make pacts normally?” His chair thumped against the ground as he leaned forward again, one arm draped against the table and his other hand hanging in the air as he gave her a look. “A pact is formed maybe once every century, and that’s following all the exhausting ritual rules and doing the correct chant for the proper demon, lighting the right number of candles, setting up the proper music, and blah blah blah- it’s so much work and so rare!” 

Lucifer huffed, practically blowing a raspberry as he sunk even further against the table, before abruptly shooting up and tossing his arms out to gesture to her.

“But then you just waltz on in here, unaware and unintentionally, and then bam! Bada bing bada boom! You made a deal with the second most powerful being in all of Hell! My daughter! The King of Hell’s daughter! Ellie, sweetheart,” Lucifer shook his head, utterly baffled by this turn of events, nearly knocking his hat off as he ran his fingers through his bangs, “I mean- make it make sense!” 

“To be fair...” Eleanora cringed, flashing him a weak smile, earning a wide-eyed blink in response, the fallen archangel staring at her in disbelief. “I didn’t know she was the princess until you showed up…?”

He scoffed. 

“And! Also!” She felt the need to defend herself. “I didn’t have any say in the pact until after it was already made; Charlie just did it on her own to save me! I was kind of dying from an asthma attack after we made it back to the hotel? It was sort of a do-or-die situation and she chose to do instead of letting me die, so… y’know… rather than get mad at me I’d say be proud of your daughter for caring enough to save a total stranger?” 

Lucifer was silent for a long moment, squinting at her, before slumping back with a dramatic sigh. “I suppose that’s fair… but if it had been anyone other than you, my baby girl could have ended up in who knows what kind of trouble!” 

He picked up another caramel coated peanut, eying it for a moment before tossing it in his mouth and chewing. 

After a minute, swallowing the treat, he spoke again, gazing at her with narrowed eyes. There was a bit of an edge to his voice, a warning of sorts. “If a pact is made without careful consideration, one party may have an advantage over the other. If you weren’t so… you, then my baby girl could have ended up in serious trouble!”

“…If it’s any consolation,” Eleanora began, thinking about it as she lifted her teacup for another drink, trying to appease the King of Hell all the while keeping herself safe, “I’m pretty sure Charlie has the advantage here. She made the pact, and the terms we agreed on afterwards was that she keep me healthy and safe as long as I help her out.” 

The brunette looked down at her tea, worrying her bottom lip. 

“If I don’t… help her out, chances are I’ll just… keel over.” 

Eleanora has no choice but to do what Charlie asks of her. She doesn’t think Charlie will take advantage of her- she was far too nice for that- but the fact remains that if she wanted to, she very well could. There’s no medicine for her here down in Hell. If Eleanora wants to live, she has to rely on the grace and mercy of the Hellborn princess who saved her. 

“Hm.” Lucifer considered that. “I can accept that.” 

The brunette would’ve spat out her tea if she hadn’t expected that response. She sent him a dirty look, then proceeded to down the rest of her tea and set her cup down, scowling. “As you should.” 

“So~!” Feeling a lot better now about the whole pact situation, Lucifer sat up and grinned at Eleanora as he poured her another cup, his free hand curled against his cheek. “Ellie… what say you and I write up a proper contract?” 

This feels like such a mistake. “What… kind of contract?” 

“Just one stating the terms of our deal. Nothing too fancy or complicated. Easier than writing a letter, definitely. Hehe- y’know what I mean?” 

Uh-huh. “Okay…” 

“Such skepticism!” He gasped, setting the teapot down, lifting his hand to rest over his lips. Lucifer snickered and giggled, before shifting his fingers so only his index finger was over his mouth, his lips spreading in a large toothy smirk. His eyes narrowed in a way that could have been easily mistaken as sinister if not for the mischief in his gaze. “I’m a devil of my word! I promise you, Ellie, I won’t do anything that isn’t directly stated in the contract.” 

Eleanora leaned back and scrunched her nose up at him suspiciously, brown eyes staring into glimmering red, her hands gripping the table’s edge, before she finally gave in and let out a tired sigh. “Yeah, okay, fine. But I ain’t signin’ nothing unless I can read through it all first.”

Lucifer let out a whistle. “Well, look at you! You’ve clearly heard the stories about making deals, haven’t you? Huh? Huuuuh? Heh.” 

His lips curled in a sly 

“To think- you’re smart and pretty.” 

Eleanora’s eyes went wide at that, knowing for certain she didn’t mishear him this time, but Lucifer didn’t say anything else on the subject as he snapped his fingers, a golden glowing piece of parchment paper appearing in front of them alongside a red-feathered quill. 

The short king quickly got to work writing. 

“For as long as you’re in Hell, you’ll answer when called and come when asked.” He stated, not looking at her as he focused on the paper, his tired eyes seeming to dull over as he worked. It was as if he aged ten years in a single minute. His voice even lost some of its pep. “You’ll help me look after my daughter, Charlie, and I’ll guarantee your safety and make your life here as comfortable as I can.” 

Something about his wording was… weird, but maybe that’s just Charlie’s voice in the back of her head trying to make her overthink things. 

“Should you ever end up in danger, call my name.” 

“Lucifer?” 

The immortal man startled, and he looked up with big eyes to stare at Eleanora, seeing her gaze at him with those doe-like brown eyes of hers. His mouth opened like he was about to speak, but no words left his lips, and he watched as she furrowed her brows and tilted her head at him, nervously reaching out to grip the striped teacup he had prepared for her. 

“D-Do I just… say it like that? Or… does it actually have to be, like, scared? Like… Lucifer! Or… Lucifeeeer!” She ducked her head down, acting like she was cowering from a random attack, and glanced up at him with flushed cheeks. “H-How do you know the difference? What if I’m talking about you to Charlie and your name slips out?” 

“…Trust me.” Recovering from whatever stupor he ended up in, he flashed her a confident grin, sitting tall in his seat. He grabbed the rim of his hat, tilting his head at her. “I’ll know.”  

Eleanora didn’t look like she believed him, but she had no choice but to take his word on it. “Okay. Um… is there anything else we need to write down?” 

The King of Hell looked back down at the parchment. “As part of our deal, I’ll send money to your Hellish bank account once a month. I’ve already gone ahead and got it set up for you.” He propped a fist against his cheek, pouting as he huffed. “What else…?” 

Oddly enough, this deal almost feels like it’s in her favor. “Is there anything else you want?” 

Lucifer paused. He looked up at her with confused, tired eyes. “What… I want?” 

“Yeah.” Eleanora blinked at him. “Is there anything I can do for you that isn’t related to Charlie?” 

“Like… what?” His face scrunched up. 

The brunette woman stared at him, then lowered her gaze to her teacup. Gripping the handle gingerly, she turned it and watched the liquid ripple. Her reflection stared back at her. 

Eleanora looked up at Lucifer. “You said we were friends, right? So… if you ever need a friend to help you out for something, like… needing someone to ramble nonsense to or to vent about your day… I can be there. I might not be able to offer advice, but I can listen.” 

“Uh-huh…” He squinted an eye at her, raising a brow. “And if I said I needed a hug, you’d just… give me one?” 

Leaning back into her seat, Eleanora set down her teacup and casually lifted her arms, holding them out as if to invite him into an embrace. Lucifer’s eyes widened, recognizing the pose as she had done the same thing back when she first sang to him. 

Though her cheeks were flushed, her expression and voice were blunt. “If you need a hug, you need a hug.” 

Was she a little uncomfortable sitting there, telling the King of Hell, Lucifer Morningstar, she would hug him if he asked? Yes. Did she mean what she said about wanting to help him? Also yes. 

It felt like she was getting way more out of this deal than he was, and- while that was probably a good thing since she was literally dealing with the devil himself- it felt… wrong. 

Unfair. 

Eleanora didn’t like it. “Also! Alternatively! If you just want a gossip bestie, well…” 

Lowering her arms, she grabbed her teacup once more and lifted it up, flashing him as pretty a wink as she could manage- which probably wasn’t all that pretty and just more plain cringey- and crossed one leg over the other.

“I always enjoy hearing some piping hot tea.” 

She took a sip. 

To her delight, Lucifer looked like he was fighting a laugh, biting his bottom lip as he raised his right brow high on his forehead. “I’m not much for gossip.” 

“Well, shucks.” Eleanora pouted, clicking her tongue. “Here I was hoping to hear about whatever idiot likes to bug the big boss of Hell. Damn. Guess I’ll just listen to Vaggie complain about men.” 

At that, Lucifer actually snorted, smacking a hand over his face. Eleanora grinned. 

“What? It’s true.” 

He coughed into his fist, clearing his throat. “Y-Yes, well, most of the ones down here aren’t… good. They’re Sinners for a reason.” 

“Fair.” Eleanora held her cup with both hands, pretending to think. “Charlie says you’re a good one, though, so…” She pointed a finger gun at him, smirking. “Guess you passed the “menace” test, huh?” 

Lucifer stared blankly at her. 

“B-Because… you can’t spell “menace” without “men”? But you’re one of the good ones, so rather than being part of the “men” in “menace”, you’re a good “man”? No?” 

Understanding dawned on him. “Ah. I get it.” He made a face. “Where do you come up with this stuff?” 

She shrugged. “America. I told you- we’re practically regressing back to the nineteen hundreds. Besides…”

Eleanora pouted. 

“Vaggie thought it was funny.” 

“Oh, I’m sure she did.” 

Shaking his head with a chuckle, Lucifer wrote down the added terms to their contract. It didn’t take more than five minutes, the man letting out a small yawn as he did so and taking a large gulp of his tea. The quill dripping magical ink, he signed his name with a flourish, and once done he lifted and turned the contract around so the human could read it.

“Shazam~!” Lucifer exclaimed, watching as Eleanora leaned forward, eying his handwriting with raised brows. It was impressively elegant. “Anything else to add or are we good to go?” 

Eleanora tried to keep a neutral face, finding it rather alarming how much the first half read like a marriage deal. Maybe it'll be fine. She’s probably just overthinking it. “Um… n-no, I… I think it looks good.” 

“Fantastic! Now, all you have to do is sign it.” He set the paper down and held the quill out to her, which she tentatively accepted. She looked down at the bottom where she saw his name drawn out in big dramatic letters. “Yup- right there. Go on.”

He waved a hand at her.

“Don’t be afraid, Ellie.” 

She lifted her head to give him a look. “Telling me not to be afraid makes me wanna be afraid.” 

Lucifer just grinned. “Don’t be scared~ it’s just a deal with the devil!” 

Eleanora rolled her eyes and shook her head, hating that she found that amusing, and hesitated just briefly,  a thought coming to mind. “A-Actually, can I add one more thing?” 

He stuck out his lips, squinting an eye at her. “And~ what would that be…?” 

“Just a little something in case… I dunno, things go haywire? I turn evil for some reason?” Lucifer blinked. “If, for some reason, I end up hurting Charlie- intentionally or otherwise- the deal becomes… void, annnd~ you can come after me with a bloody vengeance?” 

His eyes went wide. 

Grinning as wide as could be, Lucifer leaned forward, his eyes sparkling. “I knew you were a good one! No wonder I liked you! Yeah, okay. We’ll add that in!” 

Eleanora wrote it down as neatly as she could in the corner, praying it was legible, before pointing the quill at the blond. “That said, just remember, I ain’t afraid to come back and haunt you if this contract screws me over.” 

He laughed. “Of course, of course.” 

Deciding they were both in firm agreement about the deal and that they had reached an understanding that Eleanora would very pettily follow Lucifer around as a ghost if the contract hurt her in some way, and that he could very well kill her if she hurt Charlie, Eleanora felt a little more secure in signing the contract. 

She wrote her name next to his, first and last name akin to chicken scratch, barely legible next to his beautiful handwriting. 

No sooner had she written the last letter and lifted the quill pen off the paper did Eleanora and Lucifer’s names shine brightly, glowing a bloody crimson, and the woman was watching the paper rise in the air with a look of awe before suddenly finding herself letting out a small cry of pain, yanking her left hand towards her chest upon feeling something burn along the length of her ring finger. 

Lucifer looked just as startled as she did, standing up with his palms on the table and leaning over to watch with big eyes as a black snake coiled around her finger, a ring of thorns drawing itself into the skin just above where the snake’s tail curled around her knuckle. 

“Uh…” Lucifer blinked, clearly having not expected the sudden tattoo. “What is that? Wait, no, fuck-“ 

Eleanora only grew more alarmed when he ran around the table and reached out to snatch her hand, holding it up so he could stare at the demonic ink. He looked both horrified and confused, and after observing it for a moment he turned to read the contract he wrote out, grabbing it out of the air with his other hand. Eyes widening, he released the contract and it puffed out of the material realm- most likely going into some storage area or an alternate dimension for safekeeping. 

“Well, uh… golly. Um.” Lucifer scratched his cheek, cringing a little. “That’s my fault. Phrasing, damn it, that always gets ya in the end, doesn't it? Haha… oooh, that’s embarrassing. And after all that stuff I said earlier, too…”

“What… What happened?” The human asked, deeply concerned by the way he was acting. She had a sinking feeling about what the tattoo meant. The snake clearly represented him, but the thorns most definitely symbolized something else. “What does it mean?”

“Uh…” Lucifer looked at her with big eyes, lips curling back as he started to cringe even harder. “Don’t… worry about it.”

“Luci-“ Eleanora was starting to panic. “Lucifer, what does it mean!?” 

“Ohhhh, nothing~!” He tried to play it off, laughing awkwardly as he waved his left hand at her. His right was still holding onto her newly tattooed one. “It’s just a, uh… physical representation of the contract. You know, kind of… bonding you to me- that sort of thing. Haha. Like… Like your pact with Charlie! Yeah!” 

He held up a finger, leaning in close, his eyes and smile wide as could be as his anxiety grew. 

“Th-That’s all this is! We aren’t- I mean, there’s no way I’ve got a ring tattooed on my hand, so, it’s fine! It’s fine!” 

Eleanora’s expression went blank, and her attention drifted to the hand he was holding up. Seeing her gaze focused on it, he quickly hid his hand behind back. She looked back at him. “Your Majesty…” 

“O-Oho, why, I think we’re way past honorifics now!” He joked, voice sounding quite weak as it cracked. “Wh-Why not just stick with my name? We’ll… be seeing lots of each other from now on, I’m sure!” 

Oh gods, say it isn’t so. 

“I mean, you used my name just fine earlier! Not to mention yesterday when you were singing to me all sweetly and-“ He cut himself off, cringing a third time, ducking his head, and clicked his tongue. “Brain, this is so not the time. Fuck! I can’t believe I did this. Why did I think a contract would be a good idea!? Stupid, stupid, stupid-“ 

“Hey!” Her voice snapped him out of his self-deprecating scolding, and he looked up with big eyes, inhaling sharply upon seeing her brown gaze bore fiercely into his red one, the woman leaning in quite close. “What. Does it. Mean?” 

“Well…” His voice cracked, and he looked away to the side, deeply uncomfortable. “I mean…

Lucifer gave up, letting out a defeated sigh. 

He brought his left hand back into view and up towards his lips, and rather than removing his old wedding ring and glove he settled for tearing the fabric on his ring finger off, revealing an identical snake on his hand. Though it was covered by his old ring, Eleanora had no doubt he had a thorny ring inked into his skin to match her own. “We’re… kind of… in a contract marriage now?” 

She blinked. 

Grabbing his hand, Eleanora remained utterly silent as she moved to hold their left hands beside one another, comparing the snakes. They were truly identical. 

One minute passed, then two. 

She let go of his hand. She stood up. 

Eleanora marched around Lucifer and the tea table for a third minute. And then… she came to a halt, before running at full speed and launching herself into a random pile of rubber ducks, screaming bloody murder, somehow not being killed by the vast array of magical toys. 

Lucifer made a face, mildly offended. “Gee, thanks.” 

“Shut up!” He frowned at that, turning to give her a look, a hand on his hip as he watched her sit up on her knees. Eleanora pointed at him. “That’s not what’s wrong here! I can’t-“

“Can’t what?” 

“I can’t be married!” 

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Lucifer was greatly alarmed when she- a human woman who had wound up in Hell, spent nearly a whole week getting accustomed to the strange animal meat and the horrid blood red sky, who had danced with the devil and made a pact with his daughter, and who had absolutely no qualms about comforting him or throwing a rubber duck at him in his own house- began crying. 

“I never dated anyone in my whole life! A-And now I’m just- married!? A-And- And-!” Eleanora was starting to hyperventilate, bringing her hands up to cup her face as she tried to calm down, several rubber ducks falling around her. “I-I can’t get back home! I won’t be able to get back home! Vaggie said- Vaggie said I can’t get back home if I…! If I…! Aghhhhh!” 

She hunched over, hands digging and tangling into her hair as her forehead touched the floor. 

At that moment, as if to torment her even more, her phone began vibrating again- so much so it fell out of her pocket and onto the ground. “What did I do that was so wrong!?” 

Lucifer said nothing, merely staring at her as a shadow fell over his face. He walked over silently, kneeling down to pick up the device, and his red eyes darkened even further when he saw the text messages being received. 

Desmond: “Hey, little one. Day six now…”

Clair: “Pls say something, anything. You’re not dead. I know you’re not dead. Call back!”

Maia: “Asshat coworker picked another fight again. If he tells me to give up on you one more time I’m gonna rip his fucking dick out I swear to gods. You wouldn’t just vanish like this. I KNOW you’re not dead. So just… respond when you’re ready, okay? I love you.” 

Maia: “I love you so much.” 

Maia: “I miss you.” 

Maia: “I can’t lose you, too.” 

Maia: “Please come back home.” 

Desmond: “Are you there?”

Lucifer set the phone back on the floor. It seems God was punishing her for being a live human in Hell, even though she had no desire to be in this dystopia. Or perhaps the punishment was for making a pact with Lucifer’s daughter? Honestly, it may just be a bit of both. 

Taking off his hat, Lucifer set it over the phone to try and muffle the sound of its vibrations before he reached over and rested a hand gently against Eleanora’s trembling back. 

She stiffened at the touch, only to hiccup and sob even harder when he pulled her into his lap, resting a hand on her head as she sobbed against his legs. 

His lips pulled into a heavy frown, his shoulders slumped and his expression so empty and hollow it only gave way to the immense pain in his eyes. “Father is… truly cruel, isn’t he? I mean… well, look. He tossed me out of Heaven just because I… had some silly ideas that… the elders didn’t like. I wanted to prove them wrong, but… everything went wrong and… now I’m trapped down here. And as for you…” 

Eleanora’s sobbing quieted a little, and she sniffled when she felt him cup her face and lift her head, making her look up at him. 

“You~ didn’t ask for this,” He softly sang, voice barely above a whisper, “but down here you fell, trapped by a spell you had no say in~! We’re alone in this mess, you and me… and no one can see the misery~ we’re lost in.” 

A gentle piano began to play in the background, the barest trace of a string instrument making itself known. 

“And sure… we made some mistakes, but does~ that make~ us the ones in the wrong~?” Slowly, Eleanora began to sit up, and Lucifer carefully helped her stand, holding her forearms to steady her, her hands gripping his own arms in her unsteadiness. “You didn’t ask~ for this~!” 

“You didn’t… intend for this…” She choked out, and somehow, strangely, something in Lucifer’s chest grew warm, soaring upon hearing her actually try to join in the song. 

“We didn’t wish~ for this~!” He sang, and he slid his hands until they were holding hers, tugging her into a light spin. “But here we are now, trapped for our whole lives long~!” 

Lucifer leaned forward, his eyes closing tightly shut as he rested his forehead against Eleanora’s, tears of his own threatening to fall.   

“We didn’t ask for thiiiis~! We didn’t wish for thiiis~! But Father up in Heaven said we’re the ones who’re wrong~!” He squeezed her hands, and after hearing her inhale sharply, knowing he was talking about God, the almighty being in charge of the universe, he felt her squeeze his hands back. Eleanora closed her own eyes when she heard Lucifer’s voice, quiet and so heartbroken, murmur,  “How could he be so wrong…?” 

“…What did I do that was so wrong?” 

“What did I do~ that was so wrong?” 

Eleanora’s lips curled back and she opened her eyes, only slightly surprised to find a pair of red ones staring back at her. “Why are we trapped here-“

“-when we did no wrong~?” Lucifer finished, singing a little louder now after receiving her encouragement. 

He nodded at the brunette, who followed after him as he led her into another dance. His expression twisted, growing frustrated as the song grew louder and more fierce, and with it… his voice. 

“We did no wrong! I didn’t intend for this~! You didn’t plan for this~!” Lucifer shot his left hand out and a golden wave of magic flew towards his hat, sending it flying towards him, which he caught and set on his head, before using his magic to make Eleanora’s continually vibrating phone rise in the air. “Others made their choices and they silenced our two voices, and now they make us suffer in this land! But we will not suffer at their hand.” 

The phone drifted over to them, and Lucifer grasped it in his palm, narrowing his eyes at the device. His yellow sclera flashed crimson and he crushed the phone in his grip. 

Eleanora was frozen, stunned and utterly horrified by what he just did, but Lucifer just turned towards her, a soft smile on his face. “You… will not suffer at their hand.” 

Dropping the shattered phone, he lifted Eleanora’s fingers to his lips.

“Contract or some other~ for you and for my daughter~ I will hold your hand. You will survive this land. I promise… on my pride as fallen angel, devil, and man…” When he looked at her again, she saw his irises were yellow. “I will lend you my hand. We aren’t~ in the wrong and I~ oh, I~ won’t allow them the last song…”

Lucifer’s lashes fluttered, and Eleanora inhaled sharply when his lips brushed the tattoo on her ring finger. 

“That… would truly be the wrong.”