#maybe i’m bucket crabbing myself idk

[kabutone]

there are so many beautiful trans men in the world

[purplesurveys]

819

what is a food that you’d hate to be allergic to?: Omg SEAFOOD. Can’t live without it. If I was allergic to it I’d be that person who brings tons of antihistamines everywhere I go so I can power through when eating crabs and mussels and shrimp. I just can’t live a life of being forced to watch others eat seafood while I can’t lol.

what color was the last towel you used?: Light blue.

would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? Same height or a tad bit taller is fine; I’m not super particular when it comes to height.

when was the last time your nose bled? My nose has never bled before and I dread the day it happens for the first time, because I’m totally unprepared and blood freaks me out and I will highkey probably pass out for a bit hahaha.

how old are you turning this year?: I already turned 22 last April. Considering the circumstances, my birthday had surprisingly gone really well too.

what is your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie?: French fries from Potato Corner. My go-to bucket size is Mega and I will typically request my order to be 1/2 barbecue and 1/2 cheese fries. I’ll feel super uneasy if I don’t have that exact order when watching a movie at the cinema.

swimming pool or hot tub?: So I had to look up hot tub because I wanted to know how it’s different from a jacuzzi, and holyyyyy crap I’ve learned something new - Jacuzzi is a brand of hot tubs, wtfreak my life has been a lie I thought it was a word!!! Hahaha in any case, I do prefer hot tubs more. I’ve always felt dirty hanging around in swimming pools.

can you swim well? I’m not able to perform any of the strokes like an Olympic athlete, but I can tread well and for a good amount of time.

what body part do you wash first in the shower?: Not really a part of the body per se but I’ve always washed my hair first.

who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? No thanks, I find that too invasive. 

what kind of first impression do you think you make? Cold and a little aloof, which isn’t too far off from the truth especially if I’m not approached first. If someone does talk to me for the first time, it’ll depend on their body language whether I’ll choose to continue to be reserved, or if I’d want to be bubbly and vibrant around them.

name your last reason for using a camera? My dad honked his horn as he parked in the carport to let us know he was home, and my dog ran up the screen door and sat patiently to wait for him to come inside, his tail wagging the whole time.

where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Sometimes I’ll line up our dining chairs together so it can turn to some sort of bed, and I’ve been falling asleep on that often lately.

what are you excited about? To drink the rest of this milk tea my dad bought me :) He went out to run some errands and I guess he’s been hearing me talk about how I miss having milk tea, so he went out of his way to go to a Chatime and get drinks for me and my sister.

seven days from now, will you be in a relationship? Yes.

are you a happy person? My emotions are always all over the place. I’m never consistently in a certain mood.

when was the last time you laughed really hard & why? I was bored and missing normal life last night so I went through my uploaded photos on Twitter so I can see what I used to do before everything went downhill...and by doing that, I realized that I’m quite good at tweeting HAHAHA most of my captions made me laugh and my content/photos weren’t all that bland or bad either. Idk, this is one instance where I can confidently say that I’m funny hahaha.

what are you wearing? A UP shirt and a pair of shorts.

what do you want? For my college to post the official list of graduating students for this school year so that I can finally partake in the tradition of changing my Facebook DP to my senior photo. I REALLY love how my portrait turned out and I can’t wait for my loved ones to see it.

did you enjoy your weekend? It was okay I guess. My mom was annoyingly cranky throughout Saturday for no reason, but it mellowed out by the next day and that’s good enough for me. Other than that, it was just as uneventful as the last three months have been.

do you regret anything you’ve done recently? Just little stuff that I get over quickly like, “oh I regret making this coffee at 11 PM because it’s now 3 AM and I’m jumpy as fuck.” But no big regrets recently.

is there anybody you wish you could see? For fucking sure. I don’t even have to tell y’all who it is.

have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j or m? Nope. I almost went out with an M, though.

how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2 3/4 lol. I trust Andrew 110%...and I mooooostly trust my dad. Not with every single topic under the sun, but I still trust him a whole lot nonetheless.

do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? I hope I will be by then.

what makes you mad most about girls? Definitely wanna avoid generalizing in this question but the way some girls will fawn over men is super hypocritical and that bugs me to no end. Girls shaming other girls for a range of things is also annoying, whether it’s over wearing too much makeup, not wearing makeup, choosing to abort, physical appearances, their diet, etc. Some really need to mind their own fucking business.

have you ever been given roses? Yes.

do you even like getting flowers? I love receiving stems or bouquets but I’m not obsessed with them in that I wanna get them regularly. Giving me flowers for Valentine’s Day or on our anniversary is more than enough for me.

what’s your favorite flowers? Peonies.

could you go out in public looking like you do now? No. I’d change my shorts.

who’s the first person you texted today? I haven’t texted anyone today.

would you move to another state to be with the person you loved? That’s a toughie...it would depend on the opportunities I have wherever I live in the present, and whether there are better ones where my partner is. I’m young and still building up my career, so realistically I’d wanna look out for myself first instead of clumsily jumping in headfirst for love lol.

how’s the weather today? It’s strangely warm and humid and uncomfortable, which is annoyinggggg. News has said that the wet/rainy season already begun, so I don’t know why the sun is still hanging around and being, again, annoying.

what color are your eyes? Really dark brown, almost black.

do you like poptarts? In my country we only get the same five flavors but my favorite out of all of them is chocolate fudge. I really wish we had a wider selection though :(

where will you be 12 hours frm now? Getting ready for bed most likely.

is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated? No. I’m usually the one who involuntarily makes others feel intimidated, oops.

do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Not exactly but it’s definitely gonna be one of the several tops and shorts I’ve just been repeatedly wearing at home since March.

are you on a desktop or laptop? Laptop. I haven’t used a desktop in ages.

does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure one or two people do, but I genuinely can’t care less.

what are you planning to do today? Finish my milk tea, maybe take another survey or two, eat the salted egg chips that my dad bought, and, if it cools down later in the day, take a quick nap.

play an instrument? I can play the recorder. I also memorize several songs on the piano, but the key word there is memorize lmao. I just know which keys to press due to watching covers over and over; but I can’t read notes, I don’t know which letters match which keys, have no idea what major and minor is, and I basically know absolutely nothing about using a piano.

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Just to get closure from certain people or events. If I can go back in time I’d spend more time with my late grandpa, for one.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? I’ve already forgotten.

have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an r? No. I’m an R though, heh.

have you ever passed out? Yeah numerous times. I’m a big fainter, which just sounds so uncool lmfao.

are you easily confused? Yes I feel lost quite easily. I’m often the butt of my friends’ jokes because of this, but I don’t mind hahaha.

do you think you would make a good wife/husband? I like to think that I would be, but I dunno. I’m still insanely young and I know I’ll be a completely different person with different priorities, mindset, attitude, etc., by the time I get married. It’s too early to tell.

what’s your favorite kind of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Queso real is also a really good flavor and it was my favorite for some time before my taste shifted to cookies and cream.

do you like coffee? Love coffee.

do you like summer? I like it when I get to go to the beach or when my family books trips out of town or the country, but I reeeeeally could do without the hot and sticky weather. It’s definitely not my favorite period of the year.

where were you at 8am this morning? I was asleep for half of it, then by 8:30 I was up and scrolling through Facebook.

do you fall for people easily? No. That is one thing I can’t do as a demisexual haha.

everything happens for a reason? This is usually my mindset, yes. It helps me process and accept circumstances better and much more quickly.

have you ever dated someone more than once? Yup, Gab and I have broken up before.

who have you texted in the last 24 hours? No one. Not really big on texting these days as I’ve been using Messenger to contact people throughout the quarantine.

what color nail polish is on your toes? My toes are never painted.

do you find members of the preferred sex confusing? People of any gender have the potential to be confusing. < This.

what are you listening to right now? Right now all I can hear is the work being done for the new house that’s being constructed in front of ours, so I’ll hear the occasional shoveling of stones and trucks coming in and out of the construction zone. The last music I listened to was the Presto from Summer of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons because Portrait of a Lady on Fire always makes me feel things.

how has the week been? It hasn’t been horrible, I’ll give it that. I’ve been revisiting my old fandoms out of boredom but it’s turned out to be a lot of fun; my mom brought home cupcakes at the start of the week; I had milk tea today; and we just had Kimi groomed this afternoon so his fur is all gone and now he looks like a giant rat.

is there something you wish you could tell someone but can’t? I wish I could have respectful debates with my Duterte- and/or Trump-supporting relatives, but I know that’s impossible.

what are your biggest turn offs? People who: can only hold shallow conversations, are disrespectful to those in the service industry; are casually homophobic, racist, sexist, transphobic, and/or fatphobic; take their religion way too seriously; and neglect their pets.

favorite shirt to wear? My CM Punk Best in the World shirt, without a doubt. I’ve been wearing it semi-regularly for nine years and have absolutely no intention of throwing it out.

favorite drink? Depends on my mood and the occasion. If I’m studying I’d wanna have coffee with me, if I’m casually dining at a restaurant I’d be happy with iced water, etc.

last person to say ‘i love you’ to you? Gab.

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah, but when that’s gonna happen again I still have no idea...

what’s your favorite color gummy bear? I always find myself reaching for the red ones.

what is the nicest part of the opposite sex’s body? I don’t consistently stare at a certain part of a guy’s body.

have you ever run into a dishwasher? No, those aren’t common here.

ever had a song sung about/for you? Nope.

is there a baby in the room with you right now? No, not technically. But I do consider my pets to be my babies. < Same. Kimi, now a giant rodent, is walking around the living room at the moment but he never strays too far from me.

where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other? CAAAAAAAAAR. This is a big reason why I miss driving, I haven’t been able to belt out in a while.

what is your favorite thing that is green? I don’t own a lot of green stuff since it’s my least favorite color...buuuuut I do have a printed flowy dress that I just love to wear, and it’s mostly olive green.

what did your last text message say? It’s an automated text from a vet clinic I went to last December telling me that I should bring Kimi back for a checkup. I appreciate the gesture but I’m not going back there after how condescending the vet was acting towards me.

what is the way to your heart? Acts of service has been my love language for the longest time.

what do you smell like? I smell nothing off of me now but I do know that I don’t smell unpleasant, because if I did I would’ve noticed it immediately and would feel more conscious.

what’s in your pocket? I don’t have any.

anything in your mouth? Not right now but I’ve been sipping milk tea with pearls all afternoon.

ever hurt yourself playing wii? Only after my first day of playing Wii Sports. It was like a workout for my tiny 10 year old body and I woke up all sore the next morning.

do you have freckles? No, not a common feature here.

what’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Knives Out.

ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on? Noooooooooo. I feel like that’s super uncomfortable; I’ve always entered pools with a swimsuit or bikini. My glare is usually enough for people to understand that I wouldn’t appreciate being thrown into a pool while I still had clothes on.

are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday? Technically. I took a shower in the evening and changed into the clothes I’m wearing now, but that was in the evening so it’s not like I wore them all day yesterday.

name a song that you know all the words to: Every single Paramore song. Guaranteed.

what’s the last thing you watched on tv? If we’re really going with a physical TV, the last thing I watched was Descendants of the Sun when I used the Netflix app on our TV. The last series I watched in general was Friends.

what can you hear right now? Two fans whirring in the living room.

did you feel better or worse or the same yesterday? I’m slightly better today. I’m glad Kimi has finally been groomed since his fur had knotted up in the last couple of weeks. Plus I also have milk tea today, and that’s always a winner :)))

are you close to your siblings? With my sister, but we treat each other like buddies and are more of the tough-love type. We banter more than anything and we don’t hold heart to heart talks.

do you bite your nails? No we have a nail cutter at home that I use. If I’m going through a period of heightened anxiety I will bite my nails though.

do you like your feet? Uh, I guess. I’m not complaining about them? but I’m also not attracted to feet. Mine are just there and I’m fine with them.

do you sleep well at night? For the most part.

[janedemonium]

here I am bitch

fair

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I don;t actually remeber, either my mom or my friend Mandy

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing i guess

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

a lot of people, but i guess largely my friend Evan

4. Are you easy to get along with?

more or less, i like arguing a lot but usually in a fun way

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I’m in between people I like

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People who are nice and fun to talk to

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

unlikely but still possible

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my mom

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

yes if it involves me, otherwise no

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my roommate

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

I’m starting to actually enjoy beer, help

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

You Only Live Once, The Strokes

No Scrubs, TLC

Rich, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Intergalactic, the Beastie Boys

Blue, Marina and the Diamonds

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

YES

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yes for luck in the sense that I make my own, no for miracles

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got paid

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I doubt it

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

no19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes but I haven’t taken one in years20. Do you like your neighbors?

yes21. What are you bad habits?

i chew my nails, avoid doing my laundry, and occasionally tell small lies to fuck with people22. Where would you like to travel?

Australia, Hong Kong, or Prague23. Do you have trust issues?

kinda24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

showering25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my back26. What do you do when you wake up?

i lay in bed for a while27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

not really28. Who are you most comfortable around?

myself, alone. maybe my roommate29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

no30. Do you ever want to get married?

yes31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

no32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

I don’t think I’m cut out for anything but monogamy33. Spell your name with your chin.

msrj34. Do you play sports? What sports?

no35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yes37. What do you say during awkward silences?

very little38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

too many teeth, an unsettling aura that I’ve met them before, hazy outline, voice of legion, knows too much39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

big fan of Target, or Amazon if that counts. 40. What do you want to do after high school?

I am an actor.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

yes, don’t make it a third, that’s when I run out of mercy42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

white hot anger or extreme embarrassment

43. Do you smile at strangers?

yes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

fear of dying having wasted my life, love of new stuff46. What are you paranoid about?

no one really loves me47. Have you ever been high?

yes48. Have you ever been drunk?

yes49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

no50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey51. Ever wished you were someone else?

no52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

know how to talk to people53. Favourite makeup brand?

sally hanson54. Favourite store?

see question 3955. Favourite blog?

its-me-goku56. Favourite colour?

red57. Favourite food? 

crab58. Last thing you ate?

pumpkin pie59. First thing you ate this morning?

french onion soup60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yes, best actor61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

no62. Been arrested? For what?

no63. Ever been in love? 

yes64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

we went and saw Gravity when it was in theaters. we held hands. I asked if I could kiss them. They said yes. We kissed. they tasted like popcorn.65. Are you hungry right now?

no66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

no67. Facebook or Twitter?

no68. Twitter or Tumblr?

no, and i don’t know why I stay on this hellsite69. Are you watching tv right now?

no70. Names of your bestfriends? 

mandy, graham, quadry, reed, emily71. Craving something? What?

affection72. What colour are your towels?

white72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

273. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

idk they sit upstairs in a bucket, maybe 30 but i havent looked at them in years75. Favourite animal?

i like narwhals, really into cats, big otter fan76. What colour is your underwear?

black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

lemon cream79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

i’m not80. What colour pants?

i’m not81. Favourite tv show?

big question, right now Nathan for You82. Favourite movie?

Hot Fuzz83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

karen86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory87. First person you talked to today?

My sister88. Last person you talked to today?

my sister89. Name a person you hate?

I don’t hate anyone. maybe Donald Trump90. Name a person you love?

Steve Harrington91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

no92. In a fight with someone?

no93. How many sweatpants do you have?

294. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 5 or 695. Last movie you watched?

Thor Ragnarok96. Favourite actress?

Saoirse Rona97. Favourite actor?

myself98. Do you tan a lot?

no99. Have any pets?

4 cats100. How are you feeling?

ok101. Do you type fast?

not really102. Do you regret anything from your past?

sure103. Can you spell well?

W-E-L-L104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeah105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

i’ve been to parties that had bonfires, so sure106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yeah107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yeah, at summer camp108. What should you be doing?

sleeping109. Is something irritating you right now?

not really110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yeah111. Do you have trust issues?

not really112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i honestly don’t remember113. What was your childhood nickname?

didn’t have one114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah115. Do you play the Wii?

not recently116. Are you listening to music right now?

no117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

no118. Do you like Chinese food?

yes119. Favourite book?

the Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson120. Are you afraid of the dark?

no121. Are you mean?

I try not to be, but sometimes122. Is cheating ever okay?

no123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

no124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no125. Do you believe in true love?

yes126. Are you currently bored?

no127. What makes you happy?

coffee, card games, good conversation128. Would you change your name?

yes129. What your zodiac sign?

capricorn, ox130. Do you like subway?

the sandwhich shop is edible but rarely if ever my first choice131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

depends on if i like them. if yes then sure132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

see question 10133. Favourite lyrics right now?

The World is a Vampire134. Can you count to one million?

i can but i won’t135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

that i don’t believe the moon exists136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed137. How tall are you?

6′2″138. Curly or Straight hair?

straight139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette140. Summer or Winter?

summer141. Night or Day?

night142. Favourite month?

October for climate, December for character143. Are you a vegetarian?

no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee146. Was today a good day?

yeah147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?

“now is a bad time for making enemies” -Voltaire, on his deathbed being asked to reject the devil149. Do you believe in ghosts?

no150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“They had to hear Bilbo’s account of what happened to him twice over, before they were satisfied”

[dreamingflight]

I connected to a lot of repressed memories through my magic.

There were three things. Periods of what I can only liken to "soul loss" (whether this actually maps to real shamanic soul loss, idk, don't @ me), reinvention and constant moving leading me to leave whole parts of myself in towns I left behind, and at one point, what I suspect was 1) either a spirit hanger-on who was affecting me or 2) my unconscious symbolizing my problems as a spirit hanger-on. After I "depossessed" myself, I discovered that lots of things I had assumed about myself were in fact wrong.

The problem is that I have learned that for 25 years, since about age 20, I've been operating with fundamentally wrong assumptions about myself. The problem is that anything that changes your sense of yourself. And so much of my life - my relationship, my friends, my world, my system of interdependencies that I live in - are based on the self and world I've built from these wrong assumptions. It's hard.

I literally forgot that I had been a vibrant, ambitious, social human being once, and now i remember, but I'm not in a space where I can easily take that back. If I were to do magic to "get ahead" in any way that I recognize as "getting ahead," would possibly unzip my entire world, and that's a big reason I've been holding myself back.

I am afraid to do that. I have responsibilities now. But I feel like my social space is a low level crab bucket to some degree (not a huge one, but the people around me have never left this town and every ambition is around staying here, and I CAN'T stay here, for ethnic reasons- I will be totally alone here and feeling unsafe once my parents are gone), and I know that doing magic to change my life will possibly upend my life in ways I'm not prepared for.

And I want to have my cake and eat it too. But I can't be both a big city person and a small town person. The two are fundamentally different things, and I can't miraculously turn the people in my life into big city people.

The conflict is that I've found love and nurturance and acceptance here for just being who I am, not judged for my social class or considered how I can benefit them, and having chronic illness this has meant a lot to me. I don't even know that I *could* physically meet the demands of work and commuting that would be involved in living anywhere else, I get to have a slow life here. But it's like I'm not in a place where I can even grow as a person and like it's okay not to grow. And I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like I'm too young to retire. Settling down here feels like giving up on my future or on life.

And I was reasonably happy enough staying here before I did this deep introspection work or my reintegration work.

Maybe we just reach a point where we have to accept that we can't have everything. I don't know.

I was raised in an environment of social climbing in a big city, was not "good enough" for the people my family expected me to be around, etc... I never moved back to LA mainly because I realized I might never find love there, because the very personality traits i needed in a partner get beaten out of a person early, growing up in a big city and working in the corporate space.

I just wish there were a Goldilocks Zone between my middle class LA upbringing, and the small town I live in.

[cassidy-malta]

March 22: Q & A

Holy buckets, based on the amount of food questions I’ve gotten, I will make an entire post dedicated to food in the very near future. Here’s some of my favorite questions! 

(This week we went to a Mexican restaurant where Hayes, Kameron, and I bought 3 burgers, 2 tacos, a nachos plate, a pizza, and a piece of cake. When Luther is paying, we go all in.)

“I have a question: how are you affording all this stuff?” -Tracy Jaquette

This is a very very very valid question. To be completely honest, I’m mainly using my mom and dad’s credit card and they get mailed the bill (ha- only half joking!). My family and I have been saving for this experience pretty much my entire life, as going abroad has never been a “maybe/maybe not” for me but a “definitely- I want that” type of deal. In addition to saving, my extended family have been chipping in by helping to purchase little travel-needs, weekend excursions off the island, and my flights to and from America. Luther supports me greatly in that all of my scholarships transferred over with me so the comprehensive program fee is my remaining Luther tuition (after financial aid is added) + $1000 dollars (I’m on my own for my flights and spending money beyond a $70 weekly food stipend Luther gives me). Finally, I’ve been stupidly frugal while here. To fly around Europe is cheap (I spent about 30 euro to get to Greece and back), when traveling I stay in hostels (dorm-like hotels with many beds and few amenities) and pack many of my meals/make my meals in the flats. I always ask for student discounts and kids meals when I’m out. Every euro counts! 

“Quality of the classes.  I get that there’s in class and out of class education going on.  It sounds as though the benefits are split 85:15 with out of class being the most helpful.” -Steve Woods

“Is the percentage of religious participation as low as the rest of Europe?” -Steve Woods

“Is there much of an environmental ethic?  Parks, clean waters, no litter, etc.  (Greece was horrible for litter and polluted harbors.)” -Steve Woods

These questions are actually all related! Out of class time is certainly beneficial but I would say in terms of education, it’s more of a 60/40 split (out of class is still more beneficial, but not that much of a split). I’m taking two courses on Catholicism (For those in Malta who do practice religion, they’re more than likely Catholic. With a cultural history and identity so ingrained with Catholicism, it helps to have a basic understanding of the religion), a Maltese contemporary ethics class (we examine ethical issues facing the country including religious issues, welfare systems, healthcare, immigration, business, diversity, etc...), and finally a history course (we literally started with the cavemen and are currently working our way through the medieval period). So because of these classes, I am better able to understand the layout of the island, the people, and I am able to answer your other questions! 

According to our ethics course, in the 70′s church attendance was at 84%, and steadily decreased to 43% by the early 2000′s. This is due to a political shift in the 1970′s that pretty much is the equivalent to our “Separation of Church and State”. After a long staunchly Catholic history, the passage of laws (decriminalisation of homosexuality & adultery, laws based on gender, divorce, lgbtq, womens rights, etc) by a non-Catholic government in addition to how interconnected Malta has become with the rest of the world (which consequently has made people more outspoken and opinionated on issues of morality) are said to be the main reasons that Maltese church attendance has dropped. 

In terms of environmental ethics, before Malta’s 2004 entrance to the European Union, it had outlawed plastic bottles and established an extensive glass recycling program. However when joining the EU, they had to abandon their anti-plastic ways for legal reasons but many of the products on the island still come in recyclable glass bottles. The streets are messy but that could just be attributed to the waste removal system as well as the fact that this is a city. Products on the shelves are marked if they’re bio-friendly. Compared to other cities, it seems to really be progressive overall. It’s certainly not perfect and there is a hefty amount of trash on the streets. 

“Any weird animal encounters?” -Steve Woods

I took my shoes off last night to move a big crab. 

(I almost lost a toe to this big guy because I took my shoes off. What this picture doesn’t show is my peers yelling at me telling me to run away as the crab was in attack mode)

“What is one thing you're gonna miss most when you are back in the States?” -Nam Nguyen

“If you could never go back, what would you miss the most?” -Natalie Hackbarth

This was a tough question to answer that had me stumped but I’ve decided that I can not capture with words what it is that I am going to miss most. I am simply going to miss Malta. If I had to choose, I will miss the walking the most. I am definitely going to miss the necessity of walking everywhere, the weather that allows the walking, the people, families, and dogs I see when I’m walking, and the adventures I embark on each time I walk out of the flat door. The large lots and spread out cities in America do not compare to the tightly condensed and claustrophobic atmosphere I have learned to love here in Malta. Not having Walmart or Target at my fingertips can be frustrating, but the adventures I’ve gone on in search of a single item are valuable and exciting and I certainly will miss that part of Malta. 

“Where is Gort?” -Joshua Lutz

Here, enjoying the sunshine.

(Gort, my trusty sloth aquired on my Mission Trips summer job is here with me in Malta, enjoying the wine culture as much as I am!)

“The real question: what's your average Fitbit score?” -Liesl Allen

Painfully high. 

(These are averages- my personal record while in Malta was a Sunday in February when I got 35,000 steps)

“Favorite phrase to spout in Maltese...” -Margo Nelson

“Mela”. A Maltese word that means: whatever, yes, no, maybe, sure, okay, although, alright, therefore, um, but, so, then, well (etc). We hear it between every word in Maltese conversation. 

“Have you gotten lost in Malta yet, and if so, how did you find your way? (idk i'm just a sucker for mildly embarrassing stories)” -Lexa Krug

Girl I get lost every single fricken day. The best moments are when I finally swallow my pride and admit to my companions that I have no clue where I am and they inform me that we are a block away from the flat (sigh). 

“Oddest encounter with a boy human.” -Avery Mossman “You find yourself a nice Maltan boy?” -Chris Kim

There are no men on this island. I haven’t seen a single male in 3 months. What’s a boy?

“To someone going on this trip next year, what is one useful piece of advice you would give me?” -Wyatt Anians

To take the words of StoryPeople author & Decorah artist, Brian Andreas, “Say yes. Whatever it is, say yes with your whole heart & simple as it sounds, that’s all the excuse life needs to grab you by the hands & start to dance.” Let life take your hands. Do everything you thought you never would. When someone asks you to go to the new lebanese grill, get happy hour drinks, go out for St. Patricks day, whatever- just say yes. Go with it, dude. Message me when you start packing (slippers are a must. As is stick deodorant). 

(I said “yes” to hitting the town during St. Patty’s day and ended up in the midst of a massive street party- much larger than I ever anticipated. I had so much fun though!)

“If your trip to Malta was a reality show what would your tagline be and what would your theme song be?” -Natalie Hackbarth

My tagline, “Sorry, I was napping.” 

My theme song would probably just be an array of screaming. 

“What, if anything, have you learned about yourself while there?” -Chloe Grube

I thought I was strong before this, but this has given me a whole new resilience I never knew I had. I’ve survived every one of my worst days. I know my posts make it seem like I’m having the time of my life, but there are ups and downs. Our group has quite a bit of interpersonal drama, I miss my friends and family painfully, and I haven’t gotten any decent alone time in about three months. This is an incredibly challenging and stressful adventure but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

(This is my roomie, Maddie. She’s been an amazing friend and source of comfort to me when things get rough)

“What is one highlight of the experience?” -Joan Francois

One highlight would certainly be Rome. Rome was a dream come true and exactly what I was expecting from this trip. It opened my eyes to a new culture and I got to see the things I’ve been dreaming about. Additionally, I had a lot of very very very good food. 

(just look at me cheesing in The Colosseum!!!!)

Thanks for your support and all of the awesome questions- Some remained unanswered as you guys had some really tough ones and this was already a really long post! On Friday, I embark on an adventure to England all by myself- yes, two days after a terrorist attack. Yes, I am going to London, yes, I am going to the location of the attack, and yes, I’m scared. However, I know the risk of getting hurt is small and I will not let my fears hold me back from exploring the world. That being said, send your prayers, good vibes, etc my direction as I travel.