#maybe i’ll post progress pics probs not

[marsipaniscool]

finally comfortable enough with my building skills and style to start building newcrest :)

[klaineitupanotch]

Elfinder Fic Masterlist.

It’s late, but here’s my list of Glee fanfiction! Hopefully I’m posting this right lol. I’ll go oldest to newest (roughly anyway).  Another Time, Another Place What if Kurt had met Blaine a year earlier? How would his life have changed? In his sophomore year, during the spring, Kurt Hummel ends up by chance meeting a charming young man named Blaine Anderson, who turns out to be in his own Glee club. The two begin down the road of becoming friends and then the journey that their relationship takes them. Will they be able to face any problems ahead? No matter what they may be? https://archiveofourown.org/works/709573/chapters/1311324 Notes: My very first fic written in 2013 (I believe lol, or maybe 2012) so it’s far from perfect, but it’s where it all began for me.  A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Vows In the competitive city of LA, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson are trying their best to break into showbiz. Neither one figured their chance would come in the form of a modelling gig that would not only pay the bills but help the cause for marriage equality. Where this golden opportunity could lead to more than exposure in the media. https://archiveofourown.org/works/866205/chapters/1662102 Notes: Cute lil fic I did for the Klaine Reverse bang.  Knocked Him For A Time Loop In the year 1903, young magician Blaine Anderson longs for an escape from his impending arranged marriage. A spell gone wrong thrusts him into the year 2013, where he meets Kurt Hummel. Someone equally surprised to find the boy he’d chosen as an essay subject suddenly appear in his bedroom. As if trying to figure out how to get Blaine back to his own time wasn’t hard enough, both started to ponder the same question: Were they star-crossed lovers or merely kindred spirits thrown for a time loop? https://archiveofourown.org/works/962502/chapters/1886645 Notes: Second fic I did for the reverse bang.  What a Feeling Through the hell he faced while living in Lima Ohio, Kurt Hummel finally made it out of the backwards cow town to the city of San Francisco. However, to survive meant dreams had been crushed, hopes forgotten, and impenetrable walls built around him. Long gone is the naive youth who dreamed of Broadway and romance. To the new Kurt Hummel, romance is dead. After finally turning 21, Kurt decides to let loose and finally get laid. He didn't count on the two young men that would come into his life because of this choice. Enter Sebastian Smythe and Blaine Anderson, both offering different things within Kurt's life, and causing varied reactions within him. Will he be able to keep the life style he fought so hard to gain without the risk of emotions ruining it? https://archiveofourown.org/works/704320/chapters/1299141 Notes: This one is technically Sebklaine/Kurtbastian/Klaine/Seblaine, so be prepared of that going in. My first forray into writing Sebastian into the fray and I loved it, lol.  Hummel and Oates Klaine ‘80s AU. Sometimes even potential soulmates can get off on the wrong foot. Enter Kurt, the ballsy co-manager of Dare to Flare, the hottest gay club in the East Village, and Blaine, a newly hired cover band artist at the same club. Right from the start, the boys’ first impressions of one another go astray thanks to some incorrect gossip and an accidentally spilt drink. Can two men who aren't even on a first name basis ever put their differences aside? https://archiveofourown.org/works/1272997/chapters/2631142 Notes: This prob the fic I’m most proud of, even if it’s far from perfect. It was super fun to write. Who doesn’t like the 80s!

Viloncello Blaine Anderson finds himself being given the opportunity of a lifetime, when he is approached by Hunter Clarington the Third, a rich lord who’s singular goal is to become the best luthier of his age. Soon, Blaine gets the chance to play his finest creation, a cello that’s perfect pitch is spell-bounding, to compete at a world wide competition. Little does he know that accepting the job will also lead him to meet a mysterious young man with the voice of an angel. https://archiveofourown.org/works/2152764/chapters/4704513 Notes: Another Reverse Bang fic for 2014.  Sinner or Saviour After years of feeling lost, Blaine Anderson thought he’d finally found his path in life: one that would make his family proud while keeping him far away from a life of sin. But despite his best efforts to start anew, Blaine finds himself falling into the same morally reprehensible patterns as before. Seeking guidance, Blaine looks to God for help but never in a million years did he expect his prayers to be answered — especially when his potential angel-demon hybrid saviour stirs in him the very thing he had been trying so hard to escape. Notes: 2nd fic for Reverse Bang, I went out of my comfort zone for this one lol (religion, angels and demons).  https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249658/chapters/4936905 Threw A Wish in a Well Kurt Hummel is a winner, in his senior year of high school he got everything he wanted. He landed the lead role in the school musical, won the election for student body president and most of all got accepted in NYADA, the school of his dreams. The only thing missing from Kurt's fast paced life in New York was one thing: love. After coming back to Ohio during Thanksgiving to keep a secret going, Kurt makes a wish. To find the love of his life but Kurt never expected to end up falling on a cute guy in ripped jeans as the coin fell. Leaving Kurt and one Blaine Anderson to deal with discovering such a strong connection only to be kept apart soon after. https://archiveofourown.org/works/769966/chapters/1444797 Notes: I was tempted to not include this one since it is abandoned. BUT I do want to eventually go back to it and end it. Maybe it people read it that will help motivate me too. ;) A Wedding Fit for People Magazine Off in Estérel, France and tucked away from public eye, Broadway star Kurt Hummel and rock musician Blaine Anderson are about to marry. As the couple look ahead to their happy moment, they both think back to some of the key moments in the course of their relationship, and how they’ve come so far in spite of their fast-paced lives. https://archiveofourown.org/works/4520904/chapters/10284594 Notes: Reverse Bang Fic again. I think this story is one of my best (if not the best) I’ve written so far.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/4520904/chapters/10284594 Welcome to Paradise Kurt Hummel's life has been full of nothing but school work. Unhappy and alone, he grows bitter from the stress of it all and keeps himself closed off from the world. But when Kurt encounters a group of students who ask him to be their model for a fashion show, he suddenly begins to question everything about himself and his life. In spite of knowing nothing about fashion, Kurt finds himself drawn towards the project, the group, and most of all the group's leader Sebastian Smythe. https://archiveofourown.org/works/3752428/chapters/8328058 Notes: This is Kurtbastian, but without any Blaine hate in it. It’s a story very close to  my heart. I’m really proud of it, and loved writing it (though Klaine is still my otp I swear lol).  Who Do You Think You Are Blaine Anderson is preparing to embark on a new solo chapter of his life: entering college. To those around him, he might appear to be just another ordinary eighteen-year-old, but when his loving parents are none other than the Doctor--Earth's constant saviour and last of the Time Lords--and River Song--a human weapon who defied destiny and fell in love with her target--nothing could be further from the truth. Between the pressure that comes with having such a family legacy to live up to, and the stress of keeping so many secrets from everyone he knows, it's no wonder that Blaine has sworn off relationships. Yet on his first day at the Cambridge School of Visual & Performing Arts, Blaine meets Kurt Hummel and immediately feels drawn to him, challenging his convictions. Suddenly, surviving the wait until Blaine can join his parents in the TARDIS after graduation is the least of his worries. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13759926/chapters/31622952 Notes: My most current story, though I started it years ago. I’m super happy with this one.  For an added bonus, my current fic plans, though it’s slow goings at the moment.  In Progress Rediscovering Paradise The sequel to Welcome to Paradise, it pics up where the epilogue leaves you off. I am currently writing this story, I’m at chapter 4. The plan is to wait till it’s fully written and edited and I’ll post the whole thing in one. I’m also aiming for 8 chapters.  The continuation of Threw a Wish in a Well It’s on my to do list. I have a number of chapters I wrote years ago. They’d just need to be tweaked and revised heavily. I want to give this story a proper ending. So I’ll prob spend some time on it once the Paradise sequel is finished.  Not What I Imagined Another Kurtbastian fic! It will be my take on ‘what if Kurt had met Sebastian instead of Blaine?’ How canon would differ etc. No Blaine hate, no Blaine at all actually. Super excited to write this one. My headcanons are running wild. I’ll be writing this for me really lol.  I have various other ideas... no idea if and when I’ll get to them. The above three projects will keep me busy enough with the rate I’m going writing these days. 

[diana-panda]

wow I can’t even remember the last time I logged onto Tumblr. This place used to be my life, I even had to reset my password to log back on here. i’m amazed that I still have followers. looking at things I used to blog about is so bittersweet, I legitimately feel the things I felt back in the days. shit was really changed since then. been broken over and over and having to grow bigger and bigger. I decided every few years I'll make a  post, a lil update of my life so I can  continue to self reflect on the shit I wanna change. considering I know absolutely none of my followers, this is the perf place for me to just unload a bunch sack load of shit. covid was crazy this year, survived that shit and realize all those years smoking have really fucked my lungs up. today I got another call from Dahni, who I still consider as my best friend forever. one day when we both got our shit together and both thinking straight again, I know we’ll be able to be friends like we used to. I never pick up to phone numbers I don’t know but every fuckin time I randomly choose to pick up to a rando number - it’s Dahni. this is the 5th time she has called me from a mental hospital. it’s crazy, never thought my life would have be me working in a mental hospital and her coming in and out of one. after all these years, you’ve probs haven’t seen her in 3 years - but she has never ever forgot your phone number, even when she has completely lost her mind. she literally doesn't make sense when she talks. at the beginning, you sometimes understood the shit she said and understood what she meant and felt because you were that fuckin close to losing your whole damn mind before you decided to get sober. still so proud of you choosing to be sober, even after probation, even after drug tests. Dahni still remembers your literal exact address. she said she’s been sending you letters for the past 2-3 years but you haven’t seen shit, especially because you moved to Milwaukee this year. you texted daddy but he said he ain’t seen shit, probs lying, he would hide this shit from you. he always hated her but he doesn’t understand that it was actually you who got her into drugs in the first place. I pray all the time Dahni has completely lost herself or she’ll be able to return to herself again, I miss having my best friend around. after the call, you looked at oldddd ass pics like 2015 shit, yall were the craziest - up and just went to alberqueque, breaking into hotels and creating body slides out of tables and chairs in the ballroom, tripping at the trail of lights and deciding to just walk towards the Austin skyline, there were so many pics I don’t even know where we’re at. I miss that life with you dude, not giving two shits about anything and doing whatever we could to just live life. you were the one person I connect with in such a weird way. anyway 2020 was the year I had to finally grow up, and I can’t be more proud. the reason I got sober was because I was drugged then gang raped in 2016, but I have finally accepted that it happened and I am finally moving past it. your ptsd and anxiety was debilitating. months of therapy with no progress, Janet your psychologist thought the best option was drugs to calm you down but you refused, mommy had to move down to San Antonio with you, you got daddy to install security cameras around the house, you went to 3 different police stations and 2 different apple stores because you thought you were being tracked, a panic attack literally every fuckin day, you got your first gun - but damn shit has changed. I think when you got rogue, that was the start of your life changing around. you used to walk her literally only on your street but now you can walk her for hours anywhere. you got control of your own life again. texas sunshines helped you tremendously, you met a few life long friends - even though you made some besties but ended up losing them - either way, they helped you return back to your old self, the free spirit and careless golden wild beautiful soul you had. exposure therapy - that shit works. going to 6th every weekend, even a couple times a weekend helped you a lot. you had only a couple freak outs where you let your anxiety take over you but there was progress. you have grown so much the past 4 years, it’s honestly mind blowing because you used to be at rock bottom. you legit lost your mind at one point, legit rock bottom, even hearing voices and seeing shit, Janet said drug induced psychosis - but your resiliency and strong heart and soul helped you, with the help of god of course. you were in such a dark place but getting through that helped you be where you are now. but none of this could've happened without the help of your parents - they taught you the definition of unconditional love. maybe that’s why Dahni is still battling this love and hate relationship with drugs - she doesn’t have this support system like you. your parents never gave up on you dude, like how am I ever gonna repay them, because if it wasn’t for them - I'd literally be dead long ago. you still have only told a few of your close friends. Dahni and Mikayla a year after it happened. kiara, erin, and Gracie 3 years after it happened. maybe that’s all that ever has to know. this shit don’t define your life anymore girl. it sucked but you have let that shit take enough of your life. no more living in the past. you live and you learn. stop thinking of ways how you’ll somehow find these fuckers and make them pay, they’ll get what’s coming to them. I used to pray everyday these fuckers got killed and died a horrible and painful death but you’re letting them win every time you waste a second thinking about them. just be thankful you got out of that shit alive. you have this deep rooted reputation of a party girl. but never forget, daddy defended you when yall had guests over once - “yes she parties a lot, but she also studies hard too.” you’re legit a UT grad, you got into grad school - which you are killing. you’ve never been a straight A student but now you are in grad school whaaat. but you know if you studied this much and this hard during UT - you would’ve had a higher gpa, but no regrets. ever!! my time at UT was truly a blessing - it was the best time and worst time ever. that was boot camp training you to be resilient. you used to think you were being punished for having to move to Milwaukee for grad school but that was the biggest blessing in disguise. Jim howard was right, even if I did get accepted into UT’s msn program - I shouldn’t go or stay anywhere near Austin, I have too many distractions here, I would’ve failed out immediately - I need to start thinking like a healthcare provider, people’s literal lives will be in your hands. you can’t kill no one dude, losing your license will actually be the end of yo life and all this school and bullshit would’ve been for nothing. Milwaukee was rough at the beginning but you’ve grown to fall in love and appreciate its true beauty. you needed a break from Austin, it’ll always be your endgame and it aint going anywhere. you got to start over, start fresh, grow up, it was exactly what you needed. Milwaukee was the place where you defeated your ptsd, your annoying anxiety - I mean yeah sometimes you do psych yourself out but you have made the craziest progress, even Janet is so surprised and proud of you! you fuckin live alone and do a damn good job of it. but it wouldn’t have happened without Lola. rogue saved you 4 years ago and now Lola has saved you. they are both fuckin wild and misbehaving, but I am sooooo thankful I have them in my life. god put the most perfect dogs into my life, they helped you be where you’re at today. you even made a fuckin solo trip with just you and Lola from Milwaukee to Austin, stayed in Memphis with just yall 2 and literally no panic attacks. never thought that would have ever been possible. lol having your gun around definitely helps. this year you realized that you used to be fat, how come no one told you omg. but that doesn’t matter because you have finally reached the weight you had on your vision board that you made in high school - 105. you got home from grad school and literally every single fuckin person in your life has said you lost so much weight - girl you didn’t even know it, you don’t got a scale in Milwaukee. but looking at past pics, holy shit girl you lost weight. you still got some to go but good job dude - don’t ever let yourself get that bad again. your new goal is to be 100, then you can stop stressing. lol you’ve been trying to lose weight literally since high school, and all it took was grad school and being depressed AFFFFFFFFF to lose 20 fuckin pounds! with the help of addy too. yeah you were depressed, started in the 2nd semester of grad school and was at its worse at in the 3rd semester. but you yourself, and Lola of course, pulled yourself out of that. you walked to the beach, appreciate the scenery, focus on the sound waves - learn to love life again. you’ve changed so much dude, I feel like you’ve finally lost all of your old self now. quarantining for covid made you finally truly clean your room and rearrange it. took the biggest cleanse of your life, and damn it was a struggle because you the biggest hoarder out here. you found your old pieces, crazy how you still got them, you found old pills, even weed - proud of you for throwing everything away finally, and real quick. because you did think about smoking some and pop a pill or two - what’s the worst thing that can happen right. bitch you know what can happen, normal people can do that but you have forever fucked your mind up, like physically and biologically fucked up your brain. the way drugs works on your brain and Dahni’s brain only has a dark side to it - drug induced psychosis - every time, no matter what or when or how long it’s been, you have forever fucked that up. yall dropped the ball on that shit, yall did it too much, esp the mind altering shit and will never be able to enjoy drugs again - but that’s okay. you don’t need that shit. okay for guys, fuckin listen to me here girl. we ain’t going into zayne or Terren - yo first 2 boyfriends was just dipping yo feet in the waters for dating. you already know what you learned from them. you know what you want and don’t you ever fuckin settle.”life is a mess when you settle for less.” I loved Arin, and I'll always love him. your dumbass almost married him but why, knowing he does not meet half yo standards. from Arin, you learned you want someone that treats you like a princess like he did, he always showed you off, he put you on a pedestal, you were legit his everything - you want someone that does that, where you are their everything. but you don’t want someone who gets angry like that, who lets problems get bigger and bigger til they explode - shit needs to be fixed immediately, if your their everything - shouldn’t they do everything in their power to make sure it stays like that. from josh, you learned you want someone who you can be your goofy self and have fun and literally laugh all the damn time with you - it was such a fun time with josh, yall really did have this amazing connection. he truly loved you and honestly truly loved you. I loved josh, and I'll always love him too. he was the first relationship you had after getting raped, and he showed you how to trust men again. these 2 dudes lacked goals and had different visions for the future from you. you’re such a goal oriented and family oriented person - they were not. you worked hard to get to where you are today, and continue to drop the guys and the people who will get in the way of your goals. friends too - if they ain’t with you, drop em. in the end, it’s your family who will always be there for you. lol you truly treat guys like shit dude and everyone knows it, you don’t even feel bad about it, maybe it’s from being raped, maybe it’s from that ginormous wall you’ve built, or maybe you’re just that afraid of getting hurt, but that’s okay, you can keep doing that, it’ll get rid of the weak ones - what you can’t do is treat the good ones like shit, like tai. you never expected to find a dude so different, but maybe that’s what you need. he’s the exact opposite of the typical guys you usually go for - a fuckin gamer, not 6 feet, lol even asian. you didn’t date tai but yall definitely had something for 6 months. he has never done drugs and doesn’t want to even try drugs - I didn’t know that was maybe something I needed in a guy. from tai, you learned that you do want someone who went to college, grad school is even better, super caring about you. at one point you did think he was going to be the one - he speaks Vietnamese, he’s in pharmacy school, he can game with your brother. he may seem perfect but you learned a lot of shit you don’t want in someone. you’re not on social media a lot anymore, other than snapchat. you even had insta deleted for months - then when school ended for winter break, it took you awhile to download insta again, but when you did, you made one post and never got on it again. tai is super in the social media world, and you don’t want that. you’re starting to be someone who really lives in the moment, the shit happening right in front of you matters to you more, you don’t want someone super into the social media world. he doesn’t treat you like you’re a priority to him, he actually makes it clear that he actually doesn’t give two shits about you - so why you allowing yourself putting any efforts into that. the second he’s upset, he’ll drag that shit out and won’t try to fix shit at all - you need someone who will fix shit right then and there so yall don’t go to sleep at night angry, you need someone who will fight and continue fighting for you no matter what. he doesn’t apologize for shit and when he does, there is always an excuse - you need someone who owns up to shit and apologizes sincerely. you deserve someone who truly cares about you and is committed to you, they need to do anything in their power to keep you and show you love you and not give up on you. you did not get gang raped to settle down for someone who doesn’t make you feel loved. you did not graduate from UT and get into grad school for someone who causes you mental stress and make you unhappy. you did not grow into this strong, independent, brilliant ass woman to date someone who makes you question your worth. you deserve someone who continuously challenges you to be your best self and make you feel beautiful. cami said you deserve someone who spoils you, and she is damn fuckin right. you have come so far, getting sober, getting into grad school, someone needs to feel lucky as fuck they have you. but what’s the common denominator between all these dudes - quit pushing guys away, quit purposely ruining shit because you’re scared of shit, quit getting pissed because they don’t react the way you wanted, quit overthinking shit because you’re usually fuckin wrong. just don’t settle for less but allow yourself to get close. your trust issues ain't going anywhere, but learn to put your guard down a tad bit, let yourself get hurt - it’ll only make you into a stronger bitch than you already are. nothing will ever hurt you nearly as much when you got raped. if you got through that, you can literally get through anything. a lot has happened in the last 4 years, but you know what you need to focus on. continue working on your best self. keep thriving and surviving. maybe we’ll self reflect and reorient again when grad school is over in a couple years and you’re back in Austin. just be happy <3 do your best and fuck the rest

[ainatravelsto]

My Makeup Go To’s/What I Use!

HEY HEYYYYY

I’ve always wanted to share my makeup go to’s in a blog of my own.... since I do  have my own log.... why not hehehehe

Just an fyi, I was never really into makeup UNTIL 2016. I would say it was mostly my mom who made me started wearing makeup. Like after I had prom in late 2015 I just thought why not? I only ever wore foundation and a nude lippie in early 2016 but only late 2016 and 2017 I’ve slowly progressed my makeup game!!!! Here’s a lil comparison below: the first is early 2016 and the second is like the middle of 2017,, 

Me.... with some foundation... and barely any lipstick??? circa early 2016

Me now..... better foundation,,, highlight poppin and LIT LIPSTICK (and more stuff on my face too but due to sunlight you can’t see MUCH LOL) (keep reading there’s more)

I give creds to my uni friends too who helped me out with introducing stuff to me like contouring, using highlighters and shit like that. Without further or do let’s start!

The foundation that REALLY worked for me is Tarte’s Amazonian Clay Full Coverage Foundation. Bought it from Sephora in Suria KLCC. It costs RM164 in Sephora and I got it in the shade Medium-Tan Honey. My past foundations made me look kind of blotchy-ish but I found this foundation and I just...... look somewhat natural lmao. Oil free and its true it lasts for 12 hours!!!! & has SPF15!!!!!! I go to uni with this foundation and I stay long hours there and yet my foundation is still presentable!!! Bitch!!!!!!! 10/10 product it’s worth it. 

Next would be my Laura Mercier Loose Setting Powder!!! i got the translucent one. This one is a popular one and it’s usually sold out in most stores in Malaysia!!! That’s how GOOD it is! It really sets your face perfectly. Luckily my mom pre ordered ours at a Laura Mercier outlet.... in Pavillion Shopping Mall I presume. From the looks of it Laura Mercier is out of Sephora so no price there but I searched up its $38.

Next my contouring,,,, I use a bronzer jdskkjaskhj. I use Benefit’s Hoola Bronzer. Mom got this in Sephora. It fits most skin colors and personally like the color on me (pics at the end of this post). Its RM80 in Sephora.

Next up is my very own blusher that I use since my mom doesn’t want it anymore! It’s the Bobbi Brown Shimmer Blush in Coral 3! Ya as you can see it looks pretty used up lmao but it’s a good color on me skin!! Its $30 and my mom most prob got it from a local Bobbi Brown outlet.

NOWWWW one of my few faves, is this amazing highlighter, ladies and gentlemen,,,, its the Huda Beauty 3D Highlighter Palette. Got this at Sephora while I was in Sydney since Australian Sephora outlets sell Huda Beauty products and it costs 80 AUD. Me and my mom always wanted to try to get ourselves a highlighter palette and we ended up finding this! The one we got is the Golden Sands version btw. The Golden Sands version fits for medium to dark skin tones while lighter skin tones fit the other palette which is the Pink Sands palette.

As you can see in the second pic, the first one (Fiji), is actually a creamy base and you’re supposed to dab it on your face for sculpting. The second (Seychelles) is a powder base which basically sets Fiji. Tahiti can be used for contouring but tbh I rarely use it since I got the Benefit one. The last one (Zanzibar) is a mix of pink + some gold blusher which really fits this golden sands theme. I wear this all the time when I have outings and I am so happy with the product. Highly recommended!

I also have another palette to highlight my nose and chin, which is the 3CE (3 Concept Eyes) Magic Touch Facemaker. Mom got it from a local Sephora outlet and costs RM61. It comes with 2 powders which are Gold Beige and Brown. There are 2 types, the other has Pink Gold instead of Gold Beige! The Brown can also be used for contouring but I mostly used the Gold Beige to sculpt my nose and chin.

Now other fave part, lipsticks! Or basically, liquid lipsticks lmao. Let’s get into it:

These the lippies I got (in early 2016, got more later tho lol) Only 2/3 shades are on this pic above are my go to’s/faves (Lolita II & #OBSESSED) which is (from top to bottom: Lolita II- 4th shade & #OBSESSED- 6th shade). I didn’t swatch Iconic sorry guys :((((

My most overused or my go-to lippie is the Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in Lolita II. Lolita II is described as a terra cotta nude! Bought it in Sephora Mid Valley (?) and costs RM99. I swear to god I almost regretted getting it even though I did like it when I first tried it in Sephora. It was just so bright for me,,,, probably because I’m so used to nudes that getting something like that is just... wild for me lol. However I started wearing it often and I realized how good I look in it, especially with my skin tone. Literally, everyone I know,,, are prob used to me wearing this lol. It’s quite matte unless you eat oily ass food then it might be a problem and you should bring the lipstick with you at all times. :x Either way, love the color and I too love the formula, so props for them!

Next is Huda Beauty’s Liquid Matte Lipstick in Icon. I initially had the normal one but we also got the same shade in a mini version. It came as a bundle with 3 other shades which are called Gossip Gurl, Trophy Wife & Socialite. All of them are shades of pink and the bundle is called The Pink Edition Liquid Matte Minis. We bought it from Sephora while we were in Sydney too and it costs 59 AUD per bundle.

I LOVE the color and I wear it on my good days but hoenestly it REALLY doesn’t last at all especially if you’re eating out. Once you eat something, a lot of the lipstick will be smudged off already. Once you use it you’ll realize how watery it is from typical liquid lipsticks. I know we should highlight the liquid part but still.... too liquid for me imo. Like it was so liquid to the point it dripped some on my leather MK bag..... tragic. I think that’s something that Huda Beauty should work on BUT HOWEVER I LOVE THE SHADE WHATSOEVER AND I’LL STILL WEAR IT EVEN THOUGH ITS QUALITY AIN’T SOOOO GREAT. But of course, that’s just my opinion. 

THE LAST WOOOO, is a new fave actually. I’ve owned this for a while but I only used it recently and I LOVED IT SOOOOO MUCH. It’s the 3CE Liquid Lip Color in #OBSESSED. It’s a dark red shade basically. Bought it at Stylenanda in Gangnam I presume while I was in Seoul and it costs 18 USD. Click here to read up my adventures in Seoul in Day 1 hehhehehehehe.

Before I end this, here are some looks I’ve made with all the products above! 

YALL probably wonder why I didnt show any eyeshadow palette’s nor even a liner,,,, its bcs I haven’t exactly mastered it... yeah dont laugh pls.... 

I ONLY JUST LEARNT HOW TO HIGHLIGHT NOT LONG AGO BFHFDFJDS

So like...... if I ever get to learn,,, I’ll probs post abt the products soon... idk when.. .but sooon

THANK YOU SO MUCH READING THIS POST AND THIS BLOG LOL I TOTES APPRECIATE IT BEAR WITH MY WRITING IM TRYING MY BEST TO DO BETTER OK HSJHSGFHJSH

For now, goodbye! I plan to maybe make a post about movies or if I’m rajin enough.... do day 3 of seoul lols,,, ciao!

[hellotvv]

Sad Sometimes

Sometimes when I think about how things ended, I get kinda sad... I understand everything happened and obviously things ended due to mistakes on both parties. But I guess endings are sometimes kinda really tragic. I guess, when I think back. I truly loved her, and really tried to show her that I loved her. I suppose a problem could be is that maybe I was really invested in some ways? I guess sometimes I was scared to lose her, since despite some really hard times, I really loved her and always believed that hey it’s not that hard to be happy together. I guess in the process of idk really trying, doing sacrifices, trying to be a good bf (in my eyes ofc, very subjective), and really loving her/caring about her. Sometimes it leads to fights actually o.o since I guess when you’re really committed/care about something, you naturally get more emotional. So I’d be worried about her potentially falling for another guy or maybe repeating past mistakes or when it seems like she doesn’t love me/care about me and etc, that I get upset. I guess I realize that interestingly from playing Smash. When I beat some of these players (really good at sm4sh nowadays lol), people sometimes get really upset from losing to me. One guy slammed the table O_O and really scared me. Other people get really frustrated and etc. I guess they really spend the time playing sm4sh and when you put so many hours in something and care about it, losing probably feels terrible. I can only imagine what it would feel like waiting all years for the olympics and do terrible at it. Oh man, would someone be a sad boy. I guess this applies to relationships too o_o. I think I brought this up to Stefanie once before, that sometimes our fights are legit because we just really care about each other/don’t want to lose each other/etc. Idk I guess from playing in a sm4sh tournie today, it gave me a random epiphany after seeing how upset my friend was and how he was actually nearly in tears for whatever reason for losing a really close match to someone he really wanted to beat. I mean, I wouldn’t cry over a video game, but ofc that’s just me. I’m not as invested in the game as some ppl are, so I can’t understand but I try to tho. I can recognize that hey, he probably tries really hard, puts in the hours, and really just wanna win or whatever. So when he fails, it feels awful especially after being really invested, so naturally he/other ppl will either be really sad/give up or angry or however they might deal with their emotions. From recognizing that, I guess it’s possible to take it as a lesson for relationships. Sometimes fights are dumb af, and sometimes it’s just because ppl care. Like maybe a fight is caused by a jealous SO, and it’s only because they care. Or someone is upset at something and wishes the other person stop doing it, so the relationship would improve. But sometimes that causes a fight in the process, but I mean at the end of the day the fight started since a person really cares about the relationship. I think Kai and her bf had that fight over uhh his seemingly no plans for Valentine’s Day, since it seemed like he didn’t really care about her/their first Valentine’s Day life milestone, while she really cared about him and the celebration. Ofc, sometimes fights might just be idk pure fights due to conflict/etc. But it’ll probably be important to sit down and think, hey we’re kinda having a fight right now, but it’s only because we really care about each other and wants the relationship to be successful/wants to be happy together. So in terms of application to me, I guess looking back sometimes I do admit fights were started by me, since I just really loved her and was just worried about losing her/that she doesn’t love me back/feeling insecure, since I just really cared. Also I need to learn that in the future, I should try better to recognize that fights are ok and prob just makes the relationship stronger/better and it’s not a bad thing, and that sometimes fights are dumb and start out of love/caring a lot about the other person/relationship.

So I guess back to why I’m a bit sad sometimes when I think about things ending. I guess, it’s sad, since I just really wanted to be happy with her. I just wanted to do the things on our todo list, I just wanted to celebrate more life milestones with her, I just wanted her to look only at me, be able to do cute coupley things with her, and idk just go the distance like how I imagined we would sometimes. I do agree, when thinking about the future, it sometimes does seem hard due to issues. But I guess sometimes when you focus too hard on the future or think about it too much, things become ughhh. Like when I think about certain problems too much, I just make it out to be much worst than it really is O_O overthinking yo... Sometimes I realize I just gotta take things one day at a time, face my problems slowly, and things will generally work out. If not, at least I’m less stress/worried, which generally leads to better chances of solving problems! Interestingly enough, sometimes I think the relationship would have improved a bit more given time together. I ended up being far too free uh last quarter, this quarter kinda ehh busy, and etc. I have a really great solid group of friends (multiple diff friend groups) and parties that I go to that I could have introduced her to/invited her to. I’m going to have my own studio apartment/single apartment next year, so no more housemates :( Uhh, pretty down to live in Asia one day, due to multitude of reasons. Got pretty into chinese culture and read a ridiculous amount of chinese novels and learned a bunch of chinese idioms (http://www.wuxiaworld.com/chinese-idiom-glossary/) I read modern novels too and been considering watching some dramas. Uhm, idk have even more cool hobbies to share/teach about. I definitely stepped up on fitness game, legit like 138 lbs now from like 155 O_O. I was like 140ish freshmen year? I’d like to think that I became slightly more mature as time goes by too! I got better at photography and could have been a weird boy like the93044 and make an ig of just cool pics of gf lol. Uhh, I became slightly less picky of an eater. Grew to really like chicken, uhm slowly liking fish more, steaks, learned about even more cool food places, and etc. Idk making good progress! I also watch a good amount of cooking videos and been slowly working on that (really slowly tho lol). I baked a cake the other day, make pasta sometimes, cook rice pretty often, eat better, make eggs/omelettes, cooked a steak actually wowow, helped kristy cook salmon, quesadillas, and idk been slowly improving :OO. I’d like to get into cooking/baking more, and watch quite a bit. But idk generally too lazy/low motivation to cook if it’s just for myself lol. If I had another person to cook for, I’d be a lot more motivated. Uhm, I’m not super arts and craftsy, but I subscribed to this channel and was super down to make this box one day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRWtS06OI0A  maybeee I’ll get a chance to make this box one day, and it’ll be prob a sick gift for a SO!! :^) Idk, I try to constantly improve myself, so the next step in my handmade creative gifts would probably be that box! Jessica told me it’s not too hard to make, even tho it does seem overwhelming when watching it, and most materials can just be obtained from Michaels or Amazon~ Uhh, what else have improved about myself... Uhm, friends, hobbies, food/cooking/baking, arts and crafts/gifts, fitness, uhh I dress pretty much relatively the same with some wardrobe expansion (nott that much in the past 6 months), maybe maturity, some more free time, and idk? Idk what else comes to mind. Maybe slowly figuring out relationships more, myself, other people, and etc..? I guess that’s maturity tho. Uhm, my room got way cooler lol... ;-; I have posters and 6 foot bean bag chair, sick gaming chair, comfy bed, 2nd monitor, two laptops, ipad pro, and idk :( kinda cool room.. I still have a unique diction, and apparently very trendy/catchy. Since when ppl hang out with me, they start copying how I talk lol. Since I say, hii frend or fam or lit or cancer or lavish or sad boys or study boys or broads or you deserve it or idk what else I say at the top of my head. But lol legit 80% of my friends copy what I say nowadays :3 Kinda cool. Hmhm, idk what else improved about me, but I think I could have been an even better SO for her given some more time. 

I feel like I should recap my weekend, but it’s like super ehhh .-. like eventful, but not very lit. Maybe later on when it’s more lol~ Need to buy beyond ticket still tho with friends :O and decide on a cool airbnb to stay at together. Still miss her and wish she was in my life sometimes too :( and I guess that’s all for this weekend blog post with 0 recap, since .-. days

[hellotvv]

Who Am I As a Person

I’m in one of those late night procrastination moods, where I randomly reflect instead of writing my lab report or 5 page essay. I mean, I’m going to be up late anyways, so what’s the difference in an hour right haha. I guess I like to reflect on myself pretty frequently, since I’m all about improving as a person to become a better Theo. Since honestly having no goals or purpose or stuff to do/look forward to can make life pretty sad. So I try to always have some sort of goal and it’s good to do progress checks to see how far I’ve come. Maybe I’ll look back on this post and see how I’ve developed as a person from here.

So I’m Theodore, I’m 20 years old, 3rd year Biology majors (changing to Chemistry), Vietnamese, and currently in Santa Barbara right now. 

I’d like to think that while I’m not some altruistic person that treats strangers that I don’t know very well. I am at least a good person. I try to treat all my friends and people that I care about pretty well. I even treat acquaintances fairly well too! Example, freshmen year, I would pick up some hallmate of mine from the train station and then drive back to our dorm just because. I even helped another hallmate move her stuff from the dorm (bed/mattress/etc) to her new apartment that she was going to move to. Cathy (who I barely consider a friend), I’ve driven her to the train station so she could go home for the weekend numerous times without ever asking for gas money or a favor back. As for my friends, I treat even better honestly. I treat them occasionally, offer to drive pretty often, rarely rarely ask for favors, and happily do favors. I’ll probably post a pic of a cute letter Fyona gave me today later on this blog. But a recent example would be for my friend Kristy. I was in bed at 4:35 and she randomly texted me asking me to print her essay + staple it + deliver it to her before her class ends at 4:55 (which is when the essay was due). I was like holy fk, you’re asking now!? I legit went from in boxers + tee in bed to my computer to print + staple to driving in the rain to school to meeting her to deliver it lol all by 4:50. I legit changed, drove in the rain, stapled, printed, ran to her in the rain, all to deliver her a paper so she wouldn’t have to deliver her essay late and lose some points. I was very very comfy in my warm bed too :( So I’d like to think that I treat my friends + acquaintances pretty well. I guess the motto that I like to go by is kind of treat others how you want to be treated. Actually I try to treat people a bit better than how I’m treated as well. If someone does something nice to me, I honestly really appreciate it and try to do something nicer for them later on. I’m not the type that just takes favors/kind gestures for granted and sometimes go out of my way to offer/do kind gestures for friends without them asking. 

Something that I think is really important is my word kind of thing. Whenever I say that I’d do something or promise to do something, I really try to stick to it. You’d RARELY ever see me cancel last minute or not come through with a favor (if I agree to it) or anything. Like if I ask to eat lunch the next day with you, you bet my plans won’t change unless something crazy happens, and I wouldn’t bail even if I’m tired/sick/etc unless it makes me physically incapable of fulfilling my promise. Idk, I guess that’s also something I like in a person. I hate being cancelled on last minute, I hate it when ppl say they’d do something and don’t do it, and etc, since I legit try to never do that. If I promise something, trust me I’d try my hardest to fulfill, and if I say that I’d do something you can count on me to do it. Since idk I just want to be someone that I can rely on and I feel like if a man doesn’t have his word, then what does he have. So I dislike people that don’t follow through with what they say. 

I guess something about me is that I honestly am not the type to cling onto friendships. I know this sound weird, but hear me out. I definitely cherish my friends and appreciate any kind gestures and go out of my way to treat them better than they treat me. But if someone doesn’t treat me/other ppl well, is flakey, doesn’t follow through with their word, or isn’t very considerate. Then honestly I don’t mind if they’re not in my life or not. I’d ofc miss the memories and their companionship, but I wouldn’t mind. I know some ppl really cherish and cling on friendships, and I care too. But I honestly wouldn’t be too sad losing a friend, if they’re not someone who’s going to enrich my life. I do appreciate people that are similar to me. A lot of my friends nowadays are nice ppl that treat others well, makes an effort to make plans first/hmu first, are goal driven, and good companionship all around. 

I guess growing up as an only child it taught me to kinda be used to being alone. But I definitely work on my social skills and communication skills to make up for uhh not having ppl constantly around to interact with. I pride myself on being an incredibly fast texter with read on. I constantly meet new ppl nowadays (models) and learned that I’m gr8 at small talk haha and chatting up ppl to become new friends. Since I can be talkative, but I can be completely fine with silence. So if a friend is more quiet and prefer being on their phone just chilling, then I can easily do that too. If someone prefers to have conversation constantly, then I can easily do that too. I ask questions about people, I learned how to open up a bit more and share more about myself (ppl bond better when ppl can open up), and etc. I do get exhausted sometimes, if I have too many days of nonstop human interaction though LOL. So if I go out every night or something, then I do burn out and need a day or two just to myself alone. But I can also do days by myself alone and be perfectly fine tbh. I have a lot of hobbies and interests that keeps me busy, so I don’t need to always have someone to interact with or talk to. I can happily eat lunch or dinner alone, while watching a nice tv show/movie/reading/etc. Or I can go out with friends nonstop every lunch/dinner for several days, if needed. So I like to think that being able to be comfortable alone is something that I really appreciate about myself. Honestly I wouldn’t even mind going to a movie by myself one day o.o... Sounds like an interesting experience and I will prob get around to doing so in the future. But I do admit that like everyone, I can get lonely too. The thing is, while I can be happy alone, and having fun with friends. I do like having a SO, since it offers a different kind of companionship? I guess the emotional intimacy is something that can’t really be replaced with friendship. So I guess I do get lonely sometimes due to the lack of emotional intimacy aspect. I guess it does help having friends like Fyona, who I can facetime/open up with/talk about my day/random things with. But there’s always some small barrier that separates how emotionally intimate you can be with a friend compared to a SO. 

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Finally found time to start finishing up this post~

Money. I’d like to think that money in some way can buy happiness. Since it allows you to do things that could potentially make you happy. Whether it’s donating to charities, being able to support your family, being able to afford to travel, eating yummy food, or etc. My parents value money quite a bit like a good amount of people haha. They want me to grow up and get a well paying job, so I don’t have to worry about money. They can be frugal at times, but I think they know when to spend money and when not to. For me, although I would like a well paying job to have money, so I can support myself/family/etc, I’m not necessarily a greedy person? Like I’m not especially cheap either and don’t value money as highly as maybe I should or idk. Hard to explain but. I’m definitely not cheap, since I think there’s more to life than money and pinching pennies. I’d spend that money to treat a friend or family member out, I wouldn’t ask for gas money if i’m driving a friend, I would save up money just to spend it on a nice gift for someone special, and etc. Idk, I guess I can’t really articulate my views on money very well. I do know how to save money and can definitely be frugal living cheaply. But I’m not one of those people that go, omg I can’t take you out since I’m broke, charge ppl for gas money, or pinch every penny. Maybe since I’m not especially broke that I can relate to people that do.. But idk, I’m a big fan of making money a non-issue in my interactions with people. Like I’d save up to take a girl on a nice date or give a nice gift, I’d save up to get gas $$ to take my friends somewhere without asking them, be down to spend some $$ occasionally to eat out with friends, sometimes treat people if they randomly deserve it haha, and etc. Idk, I feel like I always have some cool ideas to write about, but when I end up writing about them... I just kinda suck at expressing my thoughts.. :(

I’d like to think that I can be a pretty optimistic person actually. Even when terrible things happen to me, I try not to dwell on how things suck. Since if you do, then well I guess you feel sad but it doesn’t really do anything. I always try to look at the positives and look at how I can make things better. This could be a bad thing, since stress honestly doesn’t affect me as much as it should lol... It’s also said that a bit of stress can be positive stress, which encourages ppl to do things. But uhh, I need a ridiculous amount of stress to do stuff lol... But uhm, yeah. Idk I generally view things optimistically and how things can work out and how to make things better/etc rather than dwell on things. Since I’m normally fairly positive, if I do ever get into a spot where things are really really bad. Then I uh probably take things very poorly :(

As for insecurities that I have... I feel like every have some sort of insecurity even if their lives seem perfect. For me, I’ve been doing better with having less things to be insecure about. I think I’m doing especially well as of this moment though. My skin is pretty clear, my room is pretty cool, I have a clean car, I have a bunch of hobbies to relate to people, and etc. Something I was insecure about was my appearance, but I’ve been GREAT with maintaining this diet and been doing work~ So I’m not particularly insecure about my appearance anymore and my skin is pretty good rn too haha. I’ve lost weight woo and just trying to keep it up, so I can look even better. I should definitely hit the gym more, but I’ve been going here and there along with my strict diet~ I guess I’ll always kinda be worried about school and the future and grades and doing well... But more of a concern/stress and I feel is always kinda going to exist. I guess I can hold a conversation pretty well, so not particularly worried that I’m too shy or uninteresting to talk to though. I dress pretty well too, so I’m no longer worried about how I dress. I guess I’ve always put in a lot of effort to better myself that I’m kinda glad I’ve reached a point where I’m more confident in myself again. I’ve also made pretty pretty good progress in becoming a less picky eater and I’m so happy about that honestly. I think I still have a lot of room to improve, but damn it feels good to kinda make progress in something that’s always bothered me. Yeah, I’m still a fairly picky eater, but I guess I have more faith that I can fix it, so it’s slowly becoming less of my biggest insecurity haha. Sometimes I do worry if my SO’s parents will dislike me though. It’s a small worry/insecurity that I have. I guess it all stemmed back in 6 (?) grade where I kindaaa had a gf, but not really. Her parents didn’t like me, since I was a picky eater T_T and thought I was spoiled sigh... So I was like noo :( So I kinda always wanted my SO’s parents to one day like me. When I spent time with Kristy’s parents, they actually liked me :O and it was something I was pretty happy about. Idk, I guess parents are just like normal people, sometimes you click with them and sometimes you don’t. Idk I think this worry will go away if I just keep working on myself in becoming so awesome, that it’s harder to find flaws in me. I guess that’s another reason to always strive to become a better you. 

Stubbornness. This could be considered a pretty bad trait of mine. I’d like to think that since my dad is especially stubborn, it kinda made me stubborn in a way. Like it’s incredible how someone could be completely wrong, but still refuse to admit it sometimes or refuse to apologize haha.... I do love my dad, but I admit he can be very very stubborn about things. The thing about stubbornness is that I think it’s both a good thing and a bad thing. I think being too stubborn and not willing to make compromises or sacrifices is definitely bad. But it’s honestly a very very good thing when people truly believe in what they believe in and won’t quit. I guess I’m trying to work on being less stubborn for sure. But I still wanna maintain my own beliefs and won’t be one of those ppl that easily changes their minds based on other people’s opinions.

I guess this is kinda similar to my insecurities paragraph. But I honestly truly like myself as a person right now. I’d like to think that I’ve improved and really worked on myself into becoming a pretty cool guy. I try to talk and use interesting vocabulary to be unique/funny. Idk I guess I have less things that I dislike about myself nowadays and feel that the things I do dislike about myself, I’m making pretty good progress in them! So I’m fairly proud of myself nowadays and continuing to try my best to improve myself.

I guess that’s all for now. I do have a lot of other random thoughts about things not listed here. But I feel like if I spent the time to write all my thoughts towards life/things, it would take forever haha... I kinda dislike how poorly I managed to express my thoughts in this post though... I feel like if I could talk about my feelings towards things, it would be a lot more clear T_T... Oh well.. I guess it’s good practice in a way, since I’m learning that I need to prove on expressing my thoughts in writing better. Maybe I’ll rewrite this post one day in the future and see if it’s any better or if my opinions/thoughts about things changes haha...