#maybe i watched too many gmod videos as a kid and it's been engraved into my brain lmao

[steakout-05]

would it be weird to say i'm a masculine guy but in an early Source games aesthetic kind of way... like, the dark low-poly graphics and the orange HUD of Half-Life 2 feels a lot like how i experience my gender oddly enough. being a weirdo gamer guy and causing havoc in Garry's Mod feels like my gender as a guy and i have no idea how to explain this. like i look at the blacks and oranges and greens that were present in a lot of 2000s games and i go "thats me. thats me right there". it feels like a lot of stuff that's connected to gaming is oddly masculine to me and maybe that's why i feel connected to it.

perhaps i'm finally experiencing the 2000s gamer boyhood after years since discovering i'm trans and Source games are just a part of that. maybe it's because i literally named myself after Scout TF2 when i came out as trans but y'know,,,

thank you Source Engine for weirdly validating my gender and making me feel nice!

also you know that video that's like "future gen. consels wii2 ps4 xbox720?" from like 15 years ago? yeah that is oddly validating to my gender and i think that is incredibly hilarious