#maybe i should've thought about the visuals more

[vesperaominosum]

Second Reason

@purplerosebouquet asked:

"Heyy! Could you do a res4 Leon x fem reader fic where reader is his colleague/ fellow agent who has a situationship w Leon but he’s getting hung up on Ada and reader is jealous? Maybe even confronting him about it? Lots of angst but good ending 😭"

Summary : You escape burnout by turning your life around and becoming a government agent. Old mistakes haunt you and you find it difficult to replace old problems with the new, especially when you find yourself in a situationship. Pairing : RE4 Leon! × Fem Reader Tags : Angst, angst, ANGST, unreliable narrator, unethical therapy mention, hurt/comfort, slight smut, moderate strong language, slow burn (for a one shot) jealousy, open ending perhaps, reader is not okay and grew up watching cop drama. Word count: 10k A/N: I did NOT proofread it as well as I should've. It starts off as a hard read. but gets better eventually.

You always held pride in your emotional intelligence. It wasn’t superficial, you had a degree in psychology after all, so you knew it to be true. Managed to practice as a therapist for few months before taking time to reflect and turning your life around. It was quite a big stretch to jump from your ideas of becoming a therapist, leaving your straight A student persona behind, ditching those PhD dreams and leaping into a cycle of never-ending physical trainings, on your way to become a government agent. It was a shock to everybody in your life, but to you it wasn’t. Not in any way.

There were two reasons.

First, you mapped up the time, glued up a dream board and realized that it would take you years to finish your academic journey before you could actually do what you intended to. You also realized that watching a lot of daytime TV did you a disservice and planted an unrealistic idea in your head. You wanted to seek our murderers using your knowledge of the human nature. Help the police track the bad guys, interrogate them, wear expensive suits and even go out in the field wearing bulletproof vests with a real gun.

After years in university, this concept revealed itself as unattainable. It would take you decades to even get on a level where your expertise would be sufficient to write a decent report that could be used in court. And no one would ever let you go after criminals with a gun. And what was it about it that drew you in? What were you planning to do exactly in this scenario other than looking good and feeling badass? In case they actually hire you for that job, as a profiler (which would take additional years and expertise), you’d be too old to be physically fit enough for any of the badass visions. And when it came to those visions, you’d have to be too visually old to be taken seriously as a woman in the field anyway. At least some grey hair and wrinkles to get any respect from the men who stepped anywhere near military. It was not at all what you wanted.

Second reason was a bit more personal and way more grounded in reality. You didn’t like to think about it, but you had to be honest with yourself. Sometimes you wished you were a little bit less honest, just in your head. You wanted to sugarcoat things, and ignore problems and patterns, but you couldn’t. Admitting that you wish you could cloud your mind was too, a testament of seeing things clearly. You assessed the situation you got yourself into, and left. You didn’t like thinking about the second reason, it was a little too private, even for your own thoughts.

The third reason, that wasn’t mentioned, was the one you kept repeating to others. It wasn’t mentioned, because it wasn’t entirely true. After all, you couldn’t lie to yourself, but lying to others was easier. You told everyone that therapy was stressful and not at all physically demanding. You got into university with a scholarship because you were an athlete in school and the prospect of growing stiff sitting around and stressing wasn’t alluring. Stress needed a way out. You needed an active job. That was true, you knew it better than most and had a degree to back it up.

Training for becoming a government agent wasn’t easy. You did your best and still couldn’t get in the first year. Nevertheless, you weren’t known for the lack of determination, and soon enough you were an agent. Your dreams of wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying a gun were close enough to grab, if it wasn’t for all the paperwork you were hired to handle.

Didn't take long before you found out they only decided to accept you because of your degree, which to them made you a perfect candidate to process large amounts of information fast and make important connections. Heading straight into severe burnout, you nagged your way into a mission once, where you successfully managed to enter the building without drawing too much attention, and this success turned everyone’s eyes to you, becoming your golden ticket into the world of real missions, where the stakes were high, adrenaline was rushing and your actions actually mattered.

It was your dream life, bulletproof vest, a gun, you signed commands to your teammates, had a codename “Dove” (that you chose yourself) and for the first time in your life you felt in the right place doing the right thing. Your family and friends did not agree.

Every time you got back home, people would ask whether you found yourself a husband, implying that you only got into the field because “that’s where the real men are” since you must've gotten tired of those whiny boys you met in therapy and uni. You were perfectly aware that they tried to devalue your achievements and it made you want to never ever settle down out of spite, which wasn’t healthy, but you couldn’t help yourself. Poor coworkers that were bold enough to try their luck asking you out - got rejected, before you even thought of it. The idea of your family ending up thinking they were right all along and smirking about it for the rest of their lives made you sick. You were emotionally intelligent, yes. It didn’t mean that you were suddenly a robot and their toxicity didn’t get to you. Understanding and admitting this issue was a part of it, keeping it in mind was enough. Besides, it’s sensible to know better than confusing professional with personal.

You had it all figured out at first, the work/life balance thing. While most people in the filed allowed themselves to lack focus, only wishing to go back to their families, or on the contrary, spent all their time working as a distraction from not having any personal life or hobbies - you managed to be right in the middle. Hobbies, friends, self-care, education. At first.

Your optimistic desire to learn and improve yourself led to you taking on all the available courses that work managed to provide, which in turn led to you dealing with things mostly outside of your grade of training. Every time they were short on agents, you came in to help. Never alone, you were still too inexperienced and a woman. Nobody wanted to be responsible for writing you off dead. Even though your work was impressive, sending a young girl on a mission which resulted in her death cold not possibly look good on paper.

You disliked working with most agents. They happened to be arrogant, bad at commutation and for some reason always acted insulted that you were given the same task. It was never about teamwork to them. One of the agents once greeted you with a “Seems like I’m going to be your babysitter for this mission”. You knew better than to bite back, you never spared them the reaction they wanted to get out of you. Always friendly.

It took a toll on your mental health, but it wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was them being nice, making you finally feel accomplished, just to badmouth you behind your back afterwards.

Laugh about you being a burden and whatnot. You knew they just tried to keep up their image, to appear tough to other guys and to make sure everyone knew that they did not take you seriously, so their little crush wouldn't be that apparent. You also knew that everybody knew that, so it wasn’t getting under your skin most days.

Some nights it felt too unfair to ignore, so you imagined telling them off and commanding respect, like the women in those daytime shows you loved to watch as a kid. But every morning you felt too professional and too grounded in reality to pay it any mind. Maybe too small, but it was a secret you kept, unable to grant yourself at least a little courtesy, at least a little white lie, a lie by omission. Some silence that would protect you from self-doubt. Had to be cruel.

That nagging and flattery bothered you up until the moment you got paired with the moodiest agent. It was a brief time, a small task to help him out on a mission, getting into the building pretending to be barista and retrieving a package with intentions to pass it on to him. Got caught in a little bit of a cross fire and ended up helping out beyond your instructions.

He was famous for extreme cases and a cool attitude so you prepared for the worst. To your surprise, he happened to be extremely easy to deal with. A bit cold and he made a weird joke once that almost didn’t seem like a joke coming from him (or at best, for sure didn’t land). You hated that it didn’t go according to plan and prepared to hear all about how you were trusted with something delicate and created problems (even though it wasn’t your fault, it rarely was), but when you learned of his reports praising you for having potential and a fast reaction, you started seeing him in a different light.

Leon Scott Kennedy kind of proved to you wrong just when you started to think you were doomed to drown in self-deprecation before finally quitting. Your higher ups mentioned him giving you positive feedback and you didn’t waste time telling them that you found working with Agent Kennedy productive. He didn’t need your praise, so you praised your synergy. In all the best and seamless ways you knew how to, in order to manipulate them to pair you together more.

Your skills did not disappoint, soon enough you were working together every other mission. You were cautious not to seem annoying, but he had a way to make you feel at ease. He’d smile when you saw each other. He wasn’t a talker, but you didn’t feel any pressure. You were comfortable with his professionalism, it made you feel understood and respected.

After some time working, you were happy to return the favor, tolerated (a fair share of) his weird sense of humor. He’d alert your walkie-talkie with a stern “Dove.” and when you answered, he’d say “Flying high today?”

Made you roll your eyes every time. And finally, you were the one who got to feel annoyed, instead of feeling like you annoyed others.

He appreciated your attitude, sometimes he’d call you up to the shooting range at the base and helped you adjust your aim dealing with a bigger recoil than you were used to.

Maybe it was when he put his strong arms on yours, standing so close behind you without the gear being there to block his body heat from warming your back.

Maybe it was when he asked you if were okay at the end of the day. Maybe it was when he protected you from danger as his first priority every mission. Maybe it was when he trusted you with his life. Maybe it was when he wrapped up the mission before completing the task, because he didn’t want to risk you loosing too much blood due to your injury that one time.

Maybe it was when he texted you later. Lying in your hospital bed, you read “Dove. How’s the flight?”, how it made all the pain irrelevant. How you never answered because you suddenly didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but did everything in your power to hop back to your feet and get back to work. Maybe it was the shift in the energy that you felt once you saw him again, maybe it was the way you noticed how attractive his attitude was (when it was directed at everyone else but you). But you noticed that he certainly had an effect on you.

It was him who was the first to tell you that you’d have to stay put for a while, no feet on the ground, just “remote work”, as he kindly put it.

“Found a way to get rid of me?” - you joked before letting the sadness seep from your tensed up eyebrows straight into your eyes. He noticed and reassured you it’s temporary. And for the better. “If you say so.” was all he got. You were agreeable and there was nothing to discuss really. It was the first time he made you feel hurt. It wasn’t his fault, and you knew it, you were very mature after all. Emotional intelligence. But you still wanted to test if he’d feel bad about it and judging by the sigh that he let out, it worked. Smirk on your face as you walked away.

Same smirk curled up your lips when he came by the headquarters to ask how you’re doing, seeing you in hoodie with your hair down, talking to an intern, a young nerdy guy who was explaining something you pretended to care about.

“Getting comfortable?” – he asked, you weren’t sure if he was referring to your friendliness with an intern or your blunt dress code violations. Truth be told, you knew he was entering the base and let your hair down intentionally.

“Yeah…” – you put a hand through your hair, - “Keep getting headaches staring at the screen for hours and all..., hair ties do not help”.

You noticed his gaze lingering, - “Can’t catch a break, can you?” – he joked.

“Well, if everyone writing me off counts as a break, it’s all I’ve been catching.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” – he rolled his eyes, before looking at the intern, the guy's name was Nail, Neville, Niall something like that. Niall pretended to work behind you, and Leon lowered his voice, softened even, - “you know it’s not like that.”

“I know, I’m just making sure you know I don’t like it.” – you lowered your voice to match his, - “However it is.”

“Came here to make sure of that.” – there was a hint of a smile in his voice as he leaned closer to say that, before pulling away, - “Planned on disrupting your little holiday soon.”

Your eyes sparked, - “You did?”

“Can’t afford all my mentoring go to waste because of one stab wound. Ridiculous.”

“Your mentoring?” – you laughed, watching his relaxed smile for the first time, you liked that smile, - “Sure, that would be criminal.”

Getting back to work was easy, you never really needed that much time off anyway. You’d consider it a waste of time, if it wasn’t for a conformation that Leon cared about you in some way. You got bolder equipped with that knowledge.

Things generally shifted a little. His usual teasing turned into “Dove. Flying high? Both wings intact?”, he switched to a more hands-on approach, moving you around and grabbing your arms to stall you more than usual. He got more comfortable. It was like after your first big injury he got his conformation that you can handle harm and stopped acting like he was responsible for your every step, even though he never was.

Things got more easy until they got more complicated. When adrenaline got the best of you after speed climbing an abandoned military base wall to get away from landmines that were about to be triggered by a fallen satellite tower. Both heaving, lying on the floor, ecstatic that you made it.

Leon crawled his way to you, putting his hand to your side, where you were stabbed (three months ago by now), - “You okay?” - he put his hand on your forehead and brushed his knuckles over your temples, like it will give him any indication.

You sat up slightly. “Yeah…” - grabbing onto his forearm to get up, but getting lost in the vision instead. You both were high on the rush, him almost on top of you, sweat covering your faces, breathing deeply, it was only natural to put your hand on his shoulder and letting him kiss you. Kissing him back. Falling back on the floor, hearing him grunt into your lips as he fell onto you, putting your hand into his hair, pressing him closer, deepening the kiss. You made it out alive. You were so alive.

“Fuck,” – he breathed out between kisses, - “we got to go back”, - he kissed you deeper, as he let his hand grab your chest, moving it to your back, possessively, lifting you up, closer.

You held onto his arm, as if ordering it to stay there. Ordering, begging, approving… Nodding, - “yeah,” – and kissing him back. You both knew this moment might be the only one to steal. It was all there. It was all there was.

But you managed to pull away, the spell was broken and it turned into tension. And you got back without any distractions. Silent on the helicopter, both solemn in your own throughs.

Both planning on how to go about this incident, both trying to keep it professional, without ruining your partnership. Both failing as your off-duty talk turned into you kissing him against the wall of your on-base apartment, his knee between your legs, your hands under his shirt.

The story was: you both had the same monologue prepared, your ideals, sense of professionalism and morals aligned. And since it all aligned anyway, why does it matter?

You were great when it came to team work, you trusted him with your all and he met you in every way possible, every kiss, every thrust, every bite, he even came through with it every time all you needed to cum was to hear him moan.

You managed to keep it professional outside of the bedroom (or any room really where no one could see). It worked. You were too busy for proper relationships, you knew how to make each other feel good, you cared about each other, and you both wanted it. That’s what you kept telling yourself.

But you were a bad liar when it came to facing yourself. You knew damn well that you didn’t want any other proper relationships. You also didn’t want to change how things were, you did not put everything at stake for this career to throw it away on some good dick. Some good dick. Nice shoulders. And strong hands, that held you up, like they designed you and were making sure it stayed in place. Big legs and steady hips, that felt just right every time you came down on them. Firm lips, that took what they wanted. Soft voice that was sharpened with a rasp, always asking if you’re all right, if it’s okay, if you like it, if you’re close. Never had to ask, in his mind he always knew. His mind, always busy. Baby blue eyes, attentive, detached, sad. Ghosts, so many ghosts.

You wanted to take it away, you could. You saw past his exterior, you wanted to repair it, whatever it was. Your past mistakes coming back to the surface. Your second reason. Never could keep any boundaries. Drawn to all the broken things, too invested. You made a bad therapist, an even worse agent as it turned out.

But it was different with Leon, he was on the same page. There was no disbalance, no uncomfortable power dynamic, besides that in the bedroom, where he could easily overpower, holding you down, as you shake, as you pull his hair; him not letting you come down from your high before forcing another round of bliss onto your overstimulated body. No, outside of all that, there was no disbalance. You were on the same page. You were both okay. You were equal. It was better, he wasn’t your client, you didn’t have to feel bad.

You could care about him and it didn’t mean going back to destructive patterns. And it’s only natural for a person to care about another. You weren’t his therapist. You weren’t even his friend. You were just two people who understood what they..., were to each other and who were on the same page. Whatever that page was. He wasn’t letting you down this road alone. He had you. Whatever it meant.

It was special. And you felt like it was all worth it. It was scary to let your mind wonder to places he occupied, but soon enough you had trouble finding any space he didn’t. He was everywhere, like a new puzzle you tried to put together. What shaped him into this man you wanted to disappear into? What weights him down? What was he like as a child? What’s on his mind when you’re not together? What are the missing pieces? What pieces needed mending?

It was not your intention to let yourself get so wrapped up, but it was hard not to when he wrapped your legs around his shoulders, riling up the tug in your stomach with his tongue until your mind went white. So so wrapped up. Messed up. His hair, your body, your thighs, your thoughts.

You cut down on joint missions, couldn’t risk it. Seeing him in action distracted you, it wasn’t safe. He understood. It was hard seeing you in gear. It was really hard.

When you finally learned how to behave, you happened to work together more, couldn’t risk growing too far apart. Had to keep your hands to yourself, your thoughts focused on the task. Despite betting your all on these changes helping you to prioritize your career, you found yourself more ready than ever to throw it all away. Head first into his embrace, you didn’t care about your family gloating about being right, about proving it to yourself that you’re unable to keep anything professional enough. Despite every wall you’ve built. He made it seem worth it. Inviting. Safe. And if you were on the same page…, Were you on the same page? He had to be.

Where was he?

Those thoughts were doomed to be pruned before blooming because you couldn’t let the reality slip away. You had a dangerous job, even if you leave to make it more acceptable for you to be together, he won’t. And you can’t trust yourself to be okay with him putting himself at risk with no means to help out or at least to know what’s going on.

And you couldn’t forget that the only reason you happened to fall into this was out of convenience. Maybe not the only reason, but the main reason. One of the main reasons.

You were sensible, but in your head, you were retired in a house near some sea, lying on a blanket on some beach, reminiscing the old days with a smile with Leon next to you. For now, your goal was to collect as many memories as you could, make sure you have plenty to look back at. He’d be hot with grey hair. He’d kiss your temple and there’d be no ghosts in his eyes by then. You could see it so clearly. You’d love it all down. It would be perfect.

The day you wrapped up another mission (a big round number for you) you started planning the celebration. It was how it was done here. Had to plan ahead, but was way too busy daydreaming.

You knew it would be risky to have other agents, you and Leon at the same table. Add alcohol into picture, and the risk is high. But not inviting a person you owe at least half of the number you’re celebrating to, would be even more suspicious.

Little did you know, the reason why it was the worst idea ever never even crossed mind. The topic of you two wasn’t brough up until most of the guests left, the bar was almost empty, it just you and some of the agents who knew Leon “forever”, to quote them.

“So, Leon keeps snatching up all the ladies?” – came from one of them.

You had no idea if they knew anything or simply insinuated, so you looked taken aback. That’s when the guy added, - “Oh, I’m just kidding. I know Leon does not shit where he eats, not after Ada Wong!”

You didn’t know what to process first. To be relieved you were off the hook, to be disgusted by the phrasing, or to pay attention to the way Leon’s face changed after the mention of the name. He said the guy’s name sternly. A warning.

“Oh sorry, hit a nerve. He doesn’t talk about Ada.” – he finished his beer before adding, - “Would you believe our Mr. Cool over here fell for an enemy out of all people? Now he’s above it all, sure. Let that bitch walk all over and still-”

Leon stood up, - “Shut it. And take her name out of your mouth. You know nothing.”

It was your cue to deescalate the situation, but you just sat there. Silence filled the bar, and Leon walked out.

The guy who brought it up whistled, - “You’d think he’d be over it by now.”

“Hopeless romantic, that one” – cackled another, - “You must be used to his temper by now.” – He looked at you knowingly.

Before they left, you said that you’re were going to stay for a while, you had some business with the bartender. And you did, asked him for something stronger than beer.

At first you waited for Leon to come back, not letting any thoughts seep into your head. It wasn’t the best idea. You were better than this.

Did they know? Did they suspect? Was it their way to warn you?

You knew of Ada Wong, not much. Clearly not enough. It didn’t matter.

Didn’t it?

Whiskey never eased your thoughts, just made them flow more freely. It was a mistake to drink more after what happened. Another mistake.

Was it all a mistake? A thousand thoughts you desperately tried to keep at bay broke the dam and flooded your mind.

So that’s what it was about. Not about you, just him falling back to his habits. How could you judge? You weren’t exactly exhibiting a golden standard of professionalism yourself. It’s not a big deal. You both knew it wasn’t a big deal since the start, on the same page. Were you?

Suddenly everything felt disgusting, the bar, waiting for him felt embarrassing. Your thoughts right now, your dreams earlier. God, you were stupid.

You paid for the drinks and headed out. Bartender asking you something, as you turned to leave, not even listening. That was rude. Disgusting behavior.

It will all go away in the morning. It’s just too much information. Not enough information. Most people your age had past relationships; Leon was a couple years older. It’s not a big deal, he’s a young man with needs.

And you were just there to aid him with that. You had needs too. It was convenient and fair. Never gave any promises. Except that you did.

A lot of silent promises, it was convenient. Didn’t have to follow through if the only person who knew of them was you. Falling asleep was a challenge. You prayed for sleep to take away these thoughts. These feelings. You begged for a clean emotional palette in the morning.

But morning felt heavy on you on your shoulders. Sticky thoughts clinging to your consciousness and spreading like a disease. Embarrassing, grotesque, ugly.

You did your best to pick right through them and cage unwarranted ones. You were an adult.

So what, he had an ex. So, he didn’t want to talk about it with others. So, he didn’t want to be mocked. So what? It makes sense.

Was it because of her? What was it? You wanted to interrogate him, to strap him down to a chair and to get it all out of him. Make him confess it all to you. You deserved it. He owed nothing to you. You were way too mature to think like that.

You knew it was unhealthy since the start, you never learn. You needed a reality check. It felt like a slap in the face; hot, burning. Shame.

You were stupid enough to think you were special. You were stupid enough to overthink it now. Always overcomplicating. Was she the ghost in your eyes?

It wasn’t about you, it was your curiosity that made you walk into the office, wasting your day off, finding the intern you used to flirt with. By the time he got a promotion. Cut his hair differently, training weathered his frame a little, a beard making it's way to his face. Almost handsome. You tried your best to gather a crush, to cling to some dignity. It wasn’t all about Leon, your mind was capable of thinking of other people as well. And when you asked ex-intern to get you all info on Ada Wong he could find, it wasn’t about Leon as well. It was about your case. You saw him as a puzzle after all, it wasn’t personal. Just a curiosity.

Leon looked unaffected, if you weren’t there that evening he got all insulted over a mention of his ex-whatever, wouldn’t have a clue. He’s good at hiding. What else is he hiding? You thought you had your clues, not one.

Reading Ada’s files made you feel stupid. You kept thinking to all these times you thought it was sweet of him to care about you, to train you. You thought he liked feeling like he had something to teach, something to show. You were wrong, if Wong was what he wanted, he found your training sessions pathetic at best. She was better than you, better than him. Is this what he liked? You were so stupid. She was beautiful, not in the way you were.

You learnt all about how she wrapped Leon around her finger, he messed up. It was pathetic of him, embarrassing. You tried your best to transfer those feelings onto him, to project. It didn’t work. He wasn’t pathetic, he was this hopeless romantic with a ghost of a lover in his eyes. A woman who managed to steal her way into his heart even after betrayal. That wasn’t pathetic. You were, collecting any piece of information about her that you could. Now that was pathetic.

How you wanted to solve this puzzle, convinced that once you do, it will let you go. Set you free. You couldn’t possibly spend much longer on his leash. Tracking all your thoughts to him. To her.

They made you feel sick. You hated her for disrupting your fairytale. You hated him for not playing his part right. You hated yourself for allowing this fairytale to take roots.

It was stupid. You had so many guys after you in university, so many people at work who’d die to ask you out. You had all the cards when it came to dating, and you knew it. But you felt stupid and ugly. It was like all the miserable scenarios; all your jealousy seeped its way through your skin and you had to wear it heavy on your face. Ugly.

He ruined everything. He was not responsible for your feelings. You took pride in your emotional intelligence. Even that, he managed to take away from you. It was all tainted.

You weren’t jealous, just disgusted with yourself. Ashamed of being naïve. Ashamed of your thoughts and reactions. Was it even her real name? Ada Wong. Seemed fake. She surely made that up, who in their right mind uses a real name with a job like hers? If you can even count it as a job.

You wondered if Leon knew her real name. He knew of her nature, knew what she was doing for a living, he killed people for less. And yet couldn’t stand someone speaking badly of her. Left you alone.

Maybe it was a way to escape the conversation, maybe he knew something, knew these people and knew they would dig to find the truth about your affair if he stayed. This had to stop. You couldn’t afford to advocate for him just to justify your lack of maturity. You had sex because you were two adults in close proximity who happened to find each other attractive enough. That was it. Any complications will only hurt down the road.

The urge to shut off and be cold was as immature as it was natural. You could not force yourself to be any different. Couldn’t let go of the only shield that you knew, even though you knew it was childish, you knew it was wrong. You know it, you knew it all. You were smart. You were beautiful, you were capable and daring and independent. Why on earth did you do this to yourself?

You were miserable.

You had to let this go. It was in your head. Ada Wong was nowhere to be found, she was an evil, horrible person who betrayed people, a criminal with no regards for anything other than money. If Leon fell for it, he’s pathetic. You had a moral high ground in the situation regardless of any circumstance. At least you weren’t a criminal. The days you spent in therapy came to your mind. That was unethical, not illegal. It would be considered illegal in some states.

You weren’t a bad person.

Seeing Leon on duty was easier than you anticipated. Acting like you didn’t drag your dignity through the mud was harder, but you managed. Made it work.

A little more quiet than usual, but it was fitting for the mission. You flew over to another country to assist Secret Service agents responsible for president’s safety by tracking down the shooter. They knew assassination attempt was planned, but couldn’t risk to let it be carried out, so you had to track down whoever was smart enough not to die by being too bold, but dumb enough to be entangled in this mess. Not very physically demanding for the most part, a lot to do with getting into the head of someone who puts their life on a line to do something stupid.  

Daytime shows always portrayed these criminals as some genius people who had a plan and an ideology. Reality was disappointing; it was mostly poor people with no education, desperate enough to do any “job” for a promise of money they never end up seeing.  Their handlers weren’t much smarter, bribed to organize the mess you had to take care of because violence pays.

They were all stupid at the end of the day, putting their lives at risk for money. Just like Ada Wong. She was less stupid than your regular criminal, had to give her that. Maybe that’s why she was able to leave such a lasting impression. She’s just like a daytime TV drama character.

So smart and horrible, but since she’s sexy and rich, it can all be forgiven, it makes her cool. Was she rich? No idea, but she had to be, a lot of money involved in the field, if you can even call it that. Surely, she was sexy, you saw the photos that were in the system. Studied the 3D model of her face that was created to identify her under all the wigs and disguises just in case. You looked at her face for hours imagining Leon kissing her lips, what it would feel like. Desensitize yourself, so you don’t get visually bothered next time someone brings her up. To understand him better, perhaps, he was just a puzzle at the end of the day. You were invested as a phycologist; it was essentially just research.

“Missing the action?”

“What?” – you looked at Leon, who was setting up yet another spyglass set (that looked more like a telescope fit to see what was happening on Mars) in the empty apartment you were stuck at.

“Looks like you’re not enjoying our little getaway.”

“That’s not a getaway, Leon, we’re on duty.”

“Could be worse.” – a sly smile as he adjusted the lens, eyes hidden by the steel tube.

Fuck, he was hot. You knew better than to open your mouth, feeling the word vomit coming up. You were going to mention her name, if you kept talking. This whole thing turned into obsession that wasn’t healthy. Let it go.

There are ways to process those emotions. Therapists can provide valuable assistance in dealing with feelings of jealousy over a partner's ex by offering various strategies and approaches. You’re capable.

Understanding Emotions. Exploring and understanding the roots of this jealousy. Was it insecurity? Fear of abandonment? You had nothing to be insecure about. And there’s no abandonment if you weren’t an item in the first place. Knowing someone could be this close to you and not head over heels might have hurt your self-esteem. So, he was kissing your neck as your bodies collided, but it wasn’t enough to forget another woman. Like you weren’t that special. That hurt, we all want to be special. Sometimes you felt your pride suffer when a barista ignored your smile as they gave you your coffee. That rarely happened, maybe once. But you still remember. It was an issue to work on. Nothing to do with Ada Wong.

Cognitive Restructuring. Cognitive-behavioral techniques were useless on you, you had no irrational thoughts. You got high on feelings, got hurt, humbled and it was an uncomfortable situation to deal with. Your negative thought patterns associated with jealousy were mostly about your pride. It wasn’t about other people. They had no control over you.

Communication Skills. There was no point in talking about something you created in your own head. You were not in a relationship with Leon, you did not know the Wong girl, whatever her real name was. It was about you and your self-esteem issues. Thinking it through was enough.

So, building self-esteem was the way. What were you defined as that you took most pride in? It used to be your academic achievements. You gave it up. Your job? Where you really any better than hired criminals who put their lives at risk for someone else? Where you really that much better than Ada fucking Wong?

There was no pride in your job anymore. Daytime TV lied and you weren’t even the best at what you were doing. Did you find pride in your looks? Yes, but now that you were used as a fuck doll, it was pretty hard to do it. Your maturity and emotional intelligence? Not when you were crushing out because a co-worker you screw for fun has an ex he didn't manage to get over. As if it matters in any capacity. Ridiculous how you let yourself get so low. All this inadequacy and competitiveness was a result of doing a job you did not even like anymore. A burnout.

Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation. You had to regulate any and every ugly thought, filter your goddamn mind. No more wallowing.

Setting Boundaries. It wasn’t even an affair; you were just helping each other to blow off steam. You had to trust each other with your bodies at work, it worked. Could trust each other with your bodies off work; not a big deal.

Had to reframe the relationship in your head. Remind yourself of the frame.

Comparative Analysis. Ada was nowhere to be found. Hiding like a criminal, that she was. And you were there. There was no way she could realistically get in the way of you living your life, and even if that happens? She can have him and moody ass any time. You do not need his energy bringing you down anyway. She can play these mind games with him; you just liked the way his body felt. The rest was hormones, you must’ve been very hormonal when you made all these things up. And you analyzed him because you missed your true calling.

Finally, the curse is broken. You took a sip of hot green tea, relaxing into the sofa in your hotel room. It was nice to be back, to not feel guilty, to finally make sense out of everything.

A knock on the door. Leon, Leon, Leon. So predictable. You debated opening the door for a split second before realizing that it’s a perfect opportunity to prove to yourself that you can finally trust your mind to not act like a lunatic. Essential even.

“Hey, I thought…” – he couldn’t finish his excuse, before you grabbed his shirt and tugged him inside, put him up against the wall. He looked at your hands, taken aback slightly; like it wasn’t what he came for. So charming, just how you like him.

You kissed his jaw, broad kisses travelling down his neck, - “Now that’s a gateway”, - you smiled as your hands dropped to the belt and felt up his thighs, teasing.

“Yeah…”, - he swallowed, throwing back his head slightly. Like he was contemplating something. You felt his neck move under your lips and it made you think of all the ways his body could move, will move in few minutes, the bottom of your stomach feeling tense, - “I thought… Had to check up on you” – he hissed as you bit above his shoulder.

“Check up on me, huh? I got a couple ideas…” – the hands on his pants circling closer to bulge that was very much prominent at this point.

“You must have some ideas” – he let out a breath, brows knitting slightly, - “Spent so much time at the office lately.”

You laughed, so silly. Did he keep track of your whereabouts? Waited for you to be available? – “Mhm… I have friends there.” – the circle came to a point and you palmed him, squeezing lightly.

“Like that Niall guy? What’s his name?”, - he tilted his head down to look at you, fast enough for you not to see it coming, you found yourself scared you might accidently kiss his lips. It terrified you for some reason, so you sank lower.

And lower, - “You’re thinking about me with Niall?” – slowly stroking the outline clear under his clothes, - “Does it turn you on?”

“What?” – he made a face, scrunching his nose, - “No”.

Hilarious, - “What about us three together?” – a frustrated huff through the nose, - “What about us three but with another girl?” – you picked up the pace, undoing the belt with a free hand, it was so entertaining riling him up, all this frustration, he could let it all out on you.

He called your name in that assertive tone that you liked, made you laugh as you licked the skin between the pants and a shirt, - “What if it was Ada Wong?”

He said your name again, catching both of your hands in a tight grip. Had to ruin all the fun.

“Come on, what now?” – you whined, rolling your eyes.

He yanked you up to your feet and looked at you. Studying, disappointed, accusing. What did you do?

You started at each other for a moment. You didn’t do silent treatment. “What?” – you repeated, this time more genuine annoyance in your tone, - “Use your words, Leon, fuck. I’m too tired for this.”

That look of a disappointed parent. Or a pet owner, - “Get some rest then.” – so full of it as he set in motion.

“No need to react this way, threesomes aren’t for everybody.”

“And don’t,” – he closed the door before lecturing you more, - “Don’t ever mention her name."

“Fine!” – you exclaimed, raising your eyebrows, - “Jeez, thought she made you hard, didn’t know she was such a boner killer.”

“You don’t know anything about her.”

“Fine! And I don’t want to!” – he wanted to act like an angry dad, you could match. It didn’t sound at all like you wanted, you didn’t have the authority in that scream to back it up; so, you stood there in silence for a slip second, - “Get out.”

The sound of the door closing felt like a punch to the core, a sob coming straight from your ribs before you chocked it with a hand to mouth. Pressing hard, tears flooding your fingers, tickling.

So fucking stupid. Everything was so fucking stupid. It hurt that you were just another fling at work, yes. But it hurt more that she wasn’t.

You hated her. You couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. You wanted to die.

The pain in his eyes, the disappointment. Did she do this to him? The ghost in his eyes? Was she the one who could make it go away? The burn in your chest rang up your ears and breathing got harder.

If she was so dear to him, you’d find her. Set them up together. And then you’d die. Horribly. You’d fall off a cliff, rocks breaking every bone and smashing away your body parts and then some… Some wild dogs would tear you to pieces and he’d watch. And before the fall someone would shoot you like ninety times. Straight to the heart, and then you’d fall. And as those wild dogs ate your flesh, they’d growl loudly. And he wouldn’t care.

He would be happy with his glorified criminal knowing that you died for it. And you’re the only reason he got to be happy. And it would… It would haunt him forever. He would look at Ada and see your ghost. Finally, she would be the one dealing with the ghost of you staring back from his beautiful eyes.

You were mature and rational. And you’d rather be dead than live through this.

You never learned how to lie to yourself, no matter the effort. It was never meaningless to you; it was larger than what you allowed yourself to dream of. And he was never a puzzle.

He was the only person who made you feel like you had nothing to prove. Like you were worth the effort with no payback. And you had such deep respect and love for him. It hurt to admit. Knowing that your feelings were yours alone. It hurt to know that truth.

That all these times he trained you, he missed his very much skilled lover. That every moment that was meaningful to you, was just a distraction for him.

You didn’t want to be small, your ego was through so much, but maybe it was the lesson you had to learn. To let go of that thing that stalled you every time you made a mistake.

You weren’t special, nobody cares if you’re in the right, if you’re better, smarter, ethical. So, it’s okay if you fall short. That you’re going to live through this.

You are going to live through this.

Last day of the mission the weather was mockingly good. Feathered clouds hugging the sun just enough to soften the rays that danced on the ground as if they were playing hide and seek with the wind. Daytime TV always matched the weather to the feelings of the main character. Maybe you weren’t. Not even special enough for the weather to reflect your turmoil. It made you smile, the realization. Bittersweet, but you could handle knowing this truth, so you could handle the rest.

Leon was even more brooding than ever, weather didn’t pick him as the main character either. You were both doomed. Warm wind merrily moved his hair, as if it was pleading “Play with me, play with me, Leon!”. He didn’t care for it.

Leon noticed you looking at him, tucking his radio set in a pocket, he was about to say something when you interrupted, - “I’m quitting.”

The wind decided to try you this time, tickling your face by messing up the hair and exposing your neck, you smiled. That wind reminded you of a little kid. You weren't in the mood to play, sorry.

Leon nodded, said “Okay, we’ll get back to that” and picked up the radio set. Just like he would if you weren’t there. Just like he will.

Sure, but there was nothing to discuss. He could go back to whatever he wanted.

The flight home was silent. It was nice to be on a plane for a change, a private jet, not being thrown into the helicopter. You realized you never got to say goodbye to those views out of that noisy flying box. You never knew your last helicopter work transfer would be your last the last time you were there. Funny how things work. You have it all figured out and before you know it, everything changes and you don’t know whose body you’re in. Who is this strange person? What will this person do? Will it feel familiar ever again? Will it feel like home inside your skin?

Your blue-eyed partner spent the flight staring at the window, deep in his thoughts, up until he decided to occupy the seat next to you, leaving quite a bit of space, like you might not be safe to get close to.

“Hey…” - his voice soft, you’d like to remember that voice instead the one that he used earlier, - “Listen… Did something happen? Is it your family? Did something happen at home?”

The tenderness in which he carefully approached almost surprised you. You looked at him.

“You’ve been… I’ve never seen you like this. Noticed for a while… Now you want to quit.” – he glanced and looked away, not to pressure, - “You know, you can tell me”.

You slowly shook your head, - “Nothing happened.”

Silence once more claimed the cabin. It was comforting to have him around, not too close, just there, - “You spent so much time at the office lately. Reading, studying… Do you miss it? Want to go back?”

You looked at him, indifferent yet with so much pain in your eyes, tired, raised your shoulders in a little shrug. You looked so broken.

“You know… I understand. I had my moments… I was the best at the academy, put my all into it, and when I… When I graduated and it hit me that you can’t always measure… How good you did something…”

He was truly good. You could never paint him a villain in your story. Not even when he hurt you. He managed to find the root of the problem, you missing the career you left behind, dodging every shameful detail. Took your time spent studying as something upstanding instead of what it was, dignified your most embarrassing lows. You really loved him. And it tugged on your shattered heart.

“What are you doing?” – you asked him kindly, his attention fully yours, - “You don’t have to mentor me…” – you reached out and put your hand on his, comforting. It was okay.

A warm look, those blue eyes studying yours, looking for something, - “I’m not…”

“It’s okay.” – Gave him a bittersweet smile.

He took your hand in his. Strong warm fingers, brushing carefully, - “The sky is going to be lonely without you, Dove.” – you hummed, humoring the joke, - “I’m going to be lonely.” – he added, it hurt.

You sighed, - “You’ll find another.” - Took your hand away, - “You and the sky.” – There was no malice in those words, you truly meant it, - “After all it’s not your first affair at work. Won’t be last.” – it was comforting to finally accept it. Accept it to the point where you could say it and not feel rage. It broke your heart, but you’d learn how live with it. It wasn’t your first affair at work as well, after all.

Silence was cushioned by the mellow sound of the engine, white noise; after some time, he got closer and you put your head on his shoulder. He kissed your head as you pretended to fall asleep. It was something that will always stay with you. Had no photographs, it was too late to borrow his clothes, nothing. Just this one memory that wasn’t tainted by jealousy. That wasn’t butchered by an autopsy and fragmented into pieces to be devalued in a shrewd attempt to glue your ego back together. And it was nice. He was nice. It was okay.

You sat up straight when you were convinced that Leon fell asleep, looked at him, expecting to memorize his features. To your surprise, he was awake, completely still. You could swear his eyelashes were more matted than before. Your poor baby, it wasn’t worth it.

“You know… Ada.” – his voice heavy. Oh. Well, perhaps that was worth it. Perhaps she was, - “We met… Few times. She was the one who took something from me. Made it impossible to care for others.” – That explains it. Finally, the puzzle is coming along. Your goal is about to be complete and there’d be nothing left to do here. You almost didn’t want to know all the answers of why he couldn’t ever care about you, - “I spent years thinking I gave my heart in vain. I was so sure all I was good for was to be used.” – hearing him say that was devastating, - “But when I met her again. I figured it wasn’t like that. She saved me, more than once. More than in one sense. She really cared. She did. But she couldn’t act on it, fully, because she wasn’t free. It wasn’t me who was good for nothing. It was her, refusing to let go of her cage. I owe it to her, recognizing that there’s something worth breaking the rules and cages for, and if you don’t…”

“You embody the cage that trapped you?”

He nodded, - “Hollow.”

You wanted to move to hug him, to hold his hand, anything, but he wasn’t done.

“So, I owe it to her. Nobody gets it. I owe it to her to not end up the same. I know that she l…- “– he bit his lip, angry at himself for some reason, - “She loved me. I know it. She had love in her. And she walked away from it. So, I promised myself not be like that.” – there was a build up in his tone, what seemed to be a sob story about his one true love, was revealing itself a charged speech that was about to go off, - “So you may it call an affair, us, but I cannot agree with this. I don’t. And if you want to treat it that way, it’s your call. But you have to be honest with yourself.”

That was a lot to process. A lot of cracks in your theories to fill. What kind of strategy is this? What was he getting you into? This is disruptive, it made you uncomfortable.

“Understand that. I care, okay?” – he nudged your shoulder, - “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m all ears.”

That last phrase sounded a lot like “I’m all yours” to you at first and when the realization of what he actually said hit, you found yourself looking for an escape from that corner he got you in. You’re hearing what you want to hear again. That’s unhealthy.

That man didn’t even belong to himself. Despite what he’s saying, he’s a lot like Ada, a thought ran through your head. He saw so much of himself in her, and he didn’t like it. He must’ve seen enough of goodness in her to not give up on himself in that case. You spent so much time cursing the woman who in actuality convinced him to care about you, if you buy what he says. Did he have a reason to lie? Where you becoming just like them? Jaded.

Above all, she saved his life. You owed it to her. And in that moment, it hit you all at once. The stress you’ve been under. The idea of Leon dying, not being able to talk to him again, to touch him. Ada Wong and her love that she never got to share. Was it fair that she saved him for someone else? Where was she? How was she? Were you experiencing ego death?

Your eyes hurt, tears filling up the corners, chocked up, - “I’m so tired.”

Leon must’ve pulled you in, because for a moment, the world narrowed down to black, feeling of wet cheeks against a fabric, the sound of your heart pounding in your ears, temples pulsing, and it smelled like him. Must’ve been an awkward position, couldn’t tell where your limbs were, but you felt his hands caressing the back of your head, rubbing your back; you stayed like that till you breathing evened out, and you wiped your face, standing up and excusing yourself to go wash your face.

When you came back, he offered you a water bottle without saying a word.

Lingering sadness in the air. What a wild mess. Who are you going to be when you walk out of the jet?

“How can I help?” – poor guy looked genuinely worried, was probably convinced something bad happened and you were going through a lot. Maybe you were.

You shook your head and he dropped it.

Usually, he’d carry the bags with equipment out to the storage facility once you land, a courtesy to the staff. This time he followed you, calling your name and on land you felt more strangely claustrophobic next to him, more so than in a tiny cabin in the skies, so you quickened you pace, hearing him call your name. Dangerously bad at goodbyes, so much for being mature, you just took off and ran. You wanted out.

Leon caught up to you, trapping you in an empty hallway, both of his hands against the cold white walls, your shoulders in between, didn’t touch you, but you knew you couldn’t get away easily. You whined and closed your eyes, when will this interrogation stop? You wanted to sleep.

He got closer, studying your swollen face intensely, traced your jawline with his nose, pressed a soft kiss onto your lips, the corner of your mouth, to the side of your nose, you tried to push the man away; your palms on his chest, but he grabbed your hands by the wrists and pinned them to a wall, next to your face. So dependent and reactive, every time one of you got tougher, the other got weaker. It was obvious what was coming, you had no strength in you left to fight it, it wasn’t clear why you were fighting it to begin with. He kissed your lips, soft and intimate. A deep kiss, slow, it was the most vulnerable thing between you to this day. Heartbreaking, for no reason at all. His hand, cupped your face, as soon as he felt tears on the lips, then he took your face in both, - “Fuck, not this…” – he kissed your cheeks, stroking your jaw; rough hands suddenly tender and careful, - “Please, baby…”

You clung to his neck, hiding, gripping, he picked you up, held closely, before sliding down the wall, squeezing you in his arms, like you’d fall apart if he were to let go. It was true.

You were so scared of letting go of the life you grew to be familiar with. Scared of starting it all again. Scared of facing the truth that running away from problems was the biggest problem of them all. Scared of letting another person in, the one who had too much power over you, who had an affect on you so profound you were no longer the one in control. Scared of not letting him in and ending up alone. Scared of loud noises because of all the blood and the pain. Scared of this job traumatizing you for life for no good reason.

Someone appeared from the left side of the hallway, you heard rushed footsteps echoing and a worried voice, - “Is everything alright?”

Scared of footsteps.

“Need a medic.” – Leon’s voice firm, full of urgency.

You felt like you were going to die.

You didn’t die though, and no one did. Got looked at, got a strong prescription, got sent home. Got a service dog, kept you active as well as safe and alert when it got worse. Leon loved that dog, sometimes it even made you slightly jealous, making you laugh at how immature you could be. You quit. On your way of getting a PhD, working on most severe PTSD cases and yet still sometimes jealous over the silliest things like your boyfriend paying too much attention to your dog. It was hard to stay jealous through, catching Leon’s adoring eyes every now and then as he watched you. And he loved watching you; as you were studying, writing, doing chores, cooking, walking, playing with the dog. You never wondered what was it, never tried to read his mind. His mind was his and you trusted him with it. Couldn’t see far enough into the future, but you trusted him with it too.

_____________

I typed a lot straight to tumblr at the end there and if doesn't go through i'm gonna kms bc it will be lost forever

[kari-go]

Hi. I noticed that Stephan has hand- and legcuff like elements in his designes, like characters uses to keep them down? Bedide being visually awesome, is there a deeper meaning? Like is he afraid of his powers (Cat and Snake, well, not a cake😅) or does he has something in his life that keeps him down?

Oh, there is no deeper meaning. It's just a design element (is that how you call it?). I have a template for the suits (and other stuff, like the fins and wings), so when I make kwami swaps the suits seem... unified or recognizable for the person, so like, when you see it you go 'ah, that's Stephan." I think Stephan's suits are the most recognizable.

Patter. I think it's called a pattern.

This is how Stephan's template looks like. I don't always have to do everything and I make slight changes.

Honestly, I think his situation is the opposite of what you said xd. His parents are very accepting and love him very much and he's not afraid of his powers as Lion is. The things keeping him down are the entire 'you can't tell anybody about the miraculous' thing, he's very honest, especially with his parents and he's never really had a reason to lie them so that's more of an issue.

[whateveriwant]

Can you please do Task force 141 finding out they’re having quintuplets! I’d imagine that they wouldn’t plan to have that many….at least not all at once 🧍‍♀️

Ghost

When the technician points out the five distinct dots on the ultrasound, he immediately goes dead silent

I mean, he's always pretty quiet anyway, but this is like quiet quiet

He doesn't utter a single word for the rest of the appointment, nor on the ride back home for that matter

This has you more concerned than you care to admit because you know that, not that long ago, he didn't think he'd ever have (much less want) kids of his own some day

So now that he's learned he's about to have five? You can't imagine what's going through his mind right now

It isn't until you're walking through the front door that you're being stopped with a gentle hand tugging on your wrist

You turn to look at him and, without a word, he drops to his knees before you, rolling up the bottom of your shirt to expose your belly

He'll press the softest of kisses just beside your navel, before looking up at you with expressive eyes that convey the foremost thought in his head: Thank you

Soap

Nearly shits a brick the moment the words leave the technician's mouth

All the color swiftly drains from his face and he has to sit down before he keels over right in the middle of the office

It's not so much fear that has him going paper white but pure shock at hearing the unexpected (yet not unhappy) news

While you'd already discussed having a big family together one day, you didn't think you'd get it done in one fell swoop

However, maybe you should've seen it coming since you both come from families that have had multiples

The possibility of this happening was decently high, so in a way, you're not all that surprised by the revelation

Once he's composed himself and is a little less ghostly pale in the face, he's eagerly requesting the technician to print out an excessive number of copies of the ultrasound

Why? Well, he's gotta send them to everyone, of course! His family, your family, all the lads at work. Hell, maybe your neighbor Charlie would like one too. Better print several just in case

Gaz

"C– Come again?" He thinks he misheard the technician at first

However, even hearing it a second time, he has to stand up, round the bed, and get about an inch away from the monitor to confirm for himself

It's almost comical the way his eyes widen at the screen, darting around the black and white image like he can't comprehend what he's seeing

It'll take some coaxing to get him back in his seat, and as he does, you hear him mumbling to himself – something about nappies, never sleeping again, and *shudders* University

At some point, out of the corner of your eye, you see him messing with his hands

He's putting his palm in front of his own stomach then drawing it about a foot or two away, as if trying to visualize the size your belly is destined to grow

Even when you get back home, it's like reality hasn't fully hit him yet

It's not until you find him at 2am looking up double decker prams that you realize it's finally starting to sink in, and he's more than ready for the challenge ahead

Price

Seems awfully calm when the technician breaks the news to you two

Based on his reaction – a light smile and mere "Oh, that's wonderful" – you'd think he'd just been informed of the weather or something

To be honest, his reaction (or lack thereof) is a little disarming, but you don't comment on it until you're buckling up in the car, mentioning his seeming total lack of nerves about the future

He chuckles and jokes that he already has to look after three big kids at work. What's five little ones at home to compare?

Though you think you can see what he's getting at, his cool-headedness about it all still has you in a bit of a tizzy

Is he not even a little surprised by the news? After all, it's not every day that people fall pregnant with quintuplets

At your question, he smiles and leans to press a bristly kiss to the back of your hand. When he pulls back, he's smirking, giving you the smuggest look you've ever seen from a man

"Told you I've got strong swimmers, love"

[luvyeni]

genre smut 𖹭 warning subby!wonbin, unprotected sex, toy usage pairing — roommate!wonbin x fem reader | back to library .

request. imagine wonbin is just sneaking around in readers room or hes looking for something or whatever n he finds her vibrator. his imagination is running wild and he HAS to use it on himself now ,, like poor boy just cant help it 🫣🫣 hes so lost in the pleasure he doesnt even notice her walking in on him 😖😖

he only needed the charger you took from him a week ago; you never returned it to him and he needed it. That is the only reason he was even in your room to begin with — he never expected to go looking through your things.

“what did she even need the charger for?” he said to himself , looking around your bed where he knew you charged your things; unsuccessful , he was about to leave when he saw the drawer to your night stand was open. ‘Maybe’ he thought to himself , maybe you put it in there for safekeeping and forgot to give it to him.

He opened the drawer; fully preparing to just take his charger and go — but it was right there , in the open; your pink vibrator. wonbin should've left, he knew shouldn't have picked it up; but he did anyway, his mind going through to so many place. did you use this often? What did you sound like? Have you used it recently?

He could feel his cock twitch in his pants, the visuals of you using it turning him on. he still had the chance to put it down and just go in his room and jerk off; but he couldn't stop himself , turning the toy on , feeling the vibrations through his fingers; moving it through his hands, his eyes closing as he reluctantly moved it to his clothes nipples , gasping as the vibrations went through his body.

moving it along to his body , down his stomach, past his waist to his clothed cock. he moaned out and pressed down harder on his length; it felt so good , he was so deep in his own pleasure , he didn't notice you come in, making your way into the room. “wonbin?”

he almost jumped out of his skin , trying to hide the toy; but it was too late , you saw it. “i-i was looking for my charger I lent you.” you look at his hand , and then back to the boy , eyebrow raised. “that doesn't look like a charger binnie?” you say, walking further into the room. “that looks like my vibrator.” he began to stutter out an apology. “did you like it?” you asked , taking the vibrator from his hand. “h-huh?”

you bring the toy back to his cock; turning it on. “y-y/n.” he moaned. “I asked you a question binnie, did you like using my vibrator on yourself?” you turned up the settings. “y-yes, shit!” he cursed, “i-im gonna cum.” he whimpered , you turned it off. “wh-why?” you smiled. “don't worry baby, you'll get to cum.”

That's how he ended up under you , his cock used beyond his limits; covered a mixture of both your multiple releases; tears streaming down his cheeks as he felt you turn the vibrations back on , placing it back on his sensitive nipples. “why are you crying binnie?” you move the vibrator down his stomach. “didn't you want to cum?” you tease. “so cum for me.” the vein in his forehead prominent as cum shot from his cock , leaking from his cock down to his base , puddling with his past releases.

“fu-fuck wait.” he felt you straddle his waist again. “I can't cum again.” he whimpered. “You can give me one more right?” you tilt your head, he knew he couldn't; but he wasn't thinking with his head; thinking with his cock, he nodded. “fu-fuck yn!” he moaned as you sunk back down on his cock. “Please don't move, I'm gonna cum.” you smirked. “cum then baby , cum as many times as you want.” you rocked your hips back and forth. “Come on , show me how you were about to cum, using my vibrator like a perv.” you moan out, bouncing on his cock. “fu-fuck wonbin.”

he literally felt like he was gonna shoot blanks as you moved the vibrator back to where you were connected; turning the vibrator on the highest level — both of you basically shaking in pleasure. “fuck fuck fuck.” he cursed, “I'm gonna fucking cum!” he sobbed out. “fuck I'm cumming!” he yelled , cumming for the final time, you followed soon after, your body hunching over as you both recovered from your orgasms, he was spent; his cock softening inside you.

“I've never cum so much before.”

©️LUVYENI

[bywons]

WITH AND WITHOUT ﹆ LHS

⌕ where lee heeseung realises he messed up too bad

𖦹 pairing. toxic!bf! lee heeseung x f!reader w.c. 0.7k tw/cw. cursing, implications of cheating at end genre. angst/hurt sru's note. pls don't let this flop TT ( CATALOGUE?! )

¤ feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!

heeseung's head aches more than ever, and for every second that he stares at the minimalist silver pendant sitting still between your collarbones, it's thin silver chain hugging your neck ever so softly, it aches even more.

and now it's the time for his heart. he physically cringes out of guilt when he watches you retract your hand away from his. he just wants to hold your hand in his, wants to embrace the soft warmth that once felt like home, that cosy and cordial sensation that gave him butterflies.

but now that is long gone.

it started with heeseung really. from your shoulders missing the embrace of his arm to his cheeks missing your tickling, feathery kiss. neither of you know when this started; an invisible wall growing between you two, and all you can do is sit and watch, letting the wall increase the distance you've already built in between you both.

“you should focus on the movie instead”, your tone is boring, maybe even annoyed. or maybe none, heeseung simply doesn't know. he can't concentrate on whatever's playing in front of him, his eyes are fixed on your necklace, sending such visuals to his brain out of which he can only think of scenarios that hammers his heart even more.

the pendants’ a heart. it's a fucking heart.

“yeah, i am”, heeseung lies, again. just like the way he lied to you three months ago saying he would definitely attend your birthday party albeit his rough basketball practice.

you searched for your boyfriend's compelling face for hours that evening. waited for him the whole night, an hour passed by, then two, then three. every face in your apartment left and the one that should've been there by your side on the couch, holding you in his arms and kissing you all over, was not there. lee heeseung indeed broke his promise that day, along with a piece of you.

“really? what just happened right now then?”, you yawn, munching on the caramel popcorn, a flavour you didn't really like. but heeseung is unable to answer your question right now, he doesn't find enough words to formulate a sentence and explain why he didn't really know what was going on in the movie. his eyes just mindlessly read over the subtitles at the bottom of the screen not really getting the context behind it, there are more vital thoughts in the back of his head, eating him alive in this moment.

heeseung mentally curses himself for instances that took place months ago. instances which once broke your heart, you cried over it, burying your face in the pillow and then eventually forgetting about it. instances that heeseung never cared enough to think about twice before going to bed, or use to reflect on his actions or even think about it.

but suddenly heeseung wishes he could go back in time and return to your birthday party that evening, he wishes he was not that casual to flirt with your best friend in front of you, he wishes he hadn't caused those meaningless arguments with you, he wishes he'd never told you that his ex was better. heeseung wishes he was a better boyfriend for you.

“this one new?”, and heeseung's eyes are back on the necklace you were wearing, it's dainty silver heart infuriating him even more and he can't find the reason why. why the fuck can't he recognize the necklace?

“this one?”, you very well know which one he means when you point at the silver necklace on your neck, or else why will you be sitting with your cardigan pushed all the way down to your collarbones? “you gave it to me, don't you remember?”, you smile.

“not really”, heeseung trails off, a smile from you felt odd after days of cold shoulder from you. it doesn't feel genuine though, so he returns another fake smile hoping you wouldn't notice, “maybe i forgot.”

heeseung can never forget, never ever when it comes to you. he might have been the worst boyfriend ever but he's dying for your touch right now, maybe playing hard to get in your own relationship got him? he can't bet on being ‘good boyfriend’ all over again, he knows he fucked up. but he can bet on one thing though.

he swears and he swears to god and all his 23 years of life, he has never bought that necklace for you.

‘cause why the fuck would it have a ‘J’ engraved on it?

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

(📌) :: TAGLIST IS OPEN! @euncsace @fleumiu @leaderwon @dimplewonie @yrhome @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaasia111 @ashtxrie nets! @/k-labels

[flame-shadow]

A breakdown of my quirrel!nosk comic from last year (original post here) since I like doing breakdowns and talking about my process, and I know at least some people like reading those things. :)

First of all, a little background. I made that comic in an evening with just a pencil, a black marker, two grey markers, and a yellow-orange marker. (All markers had a thick tip and a thin tip, and all were water-based markers, so they don't blend like alcohol markers, but they can still be layered to affect the values) I had a text post from @g0at0ad saved in my drafts that said "gotta say. massive missed opportunity to not have nosk mimic quirrel to lure the knight into its lair." and finally, I had an idea for how to illustrate the reveal and felt I had a decent idea for the nosk's design.

I wanted to follow the same encounter order as the game provides, and by happy coincidence, I realized that the route from first sighting to nosk den includes the hot spring, so it made perfect sense for that location and the real Quirrel to appear in the comic.

Ghost spots a Quirrel-like figure in the darkness in the first panel, and then as the path continues and drops into the hot spring, there's (real) Quirrel, so clearly that's who Ghost saw a minute ago. Yay, friend! And since Quirrel explores around, it's not strange that Ghost would spot him again in an area not so far away, though it's odd how he got ahead of them. Perhaps a different tunnel? And it seems like Quirrel wants to lead the way to something, so Ghost follows, until- That's not Quirrel.

In addition to the potential of a reader already knowing the game's locations and recognizing the path to the nosk's den, there are other visual clues that subtly communicate that something might not be right. I made it so every panel but the hot spring one has black silhouettes encroaching on the space within.

The third panel is the mildest one being encroached upon because Ghost doesn't yet feel like something is off (still reassured from seeing Quirrel in the safe hot spring) but the trap is coming together. The existence of the spider web in the corner is a nod to the trap because it's a common visual symbol for being trapped.

Also note how both the first and third panels have some safety via straight panel edges. Contrasted with the fourth and fifth panels which have no straight edges as Ghost cannot escape and there is no safety.

Another subtle reinforcement of danger vs safety is how the use of black is very limited in the hot spring panel. It's a brighter room mechanically, yes, but it's also a Safe Room. The only black is Ghost's void parts and a thin outline around Quirrel (and also a bit of shading on his arm that I did out of habit before remembering that I wasn't going to use black to shade him here, oops!)

And, note that in the only panel with Real Quirrel, he isn't framed against a darker shape in the background.

Okay, and finally, I will share a bit about the nosk reveal panel and its design...

This pose and angle are dramatic and all, but they're The Worst for showcasing the actual design of the nosk! Just a complete mistake on my part that I did my best to roll with, since I didn't realize until too late how I'd messed myself up.

Which happens! I don't always get it right, and especially when I'm working traditionally, there's a point where I can't go back, so I just have to make do with what I gave myself. :) I don't hate what I have here, but I have been dissatisfied with it ever since I drew the lineart.

A thought I have had since then was that maybe I should've drawn it larger, to be more threatening? Maybe a different pose to show off the side-body frills? I explored a couple ideas below, but honestly, I think the whole panel would have to be reworked to get it right.

Making sure that the background frames the nosk effectively would be one of the main things I'd redo, but I'm getting tired and don't feel like drawing more, so I'll just leave it at the nosk replacement sketches.

And since I don't think I did a good job with displaying the nosk's design effectively, I quickly sketched some of the features to maybe show them off a bit better.

I like the gimmick of the nosk turning its head, so I pretty much always maintain that with my nosk designs. This one is no exception. Quirrel's head and face become the cranium and upper jaw while Monomon's mask becomes the lower jaw - the extra length causes an underbite. I've always been a fan of when people add a veil hanging from Monomon's mask while Quirrel is wearing it, so that's where the frills come from. ("Why didn't you include the veil in your Quirrel drawings, then?" I hear you ask. And honestly..... I don't know! That could've been an oversight or it could've been deliberate and I just don't remember my justification. That happens sometimes XD)

Anyway uhhh yeah! I think that's it. I like making comics. I like thinking about nosk. Tadaa~

[sadagios]

another very long analysis from @misticalnova !! 6w6 this time im going to cut your ask into parts not because i'm going to omit some points you've made like i did last time, but because the ask is really long haha. i also would like to tackle each part. so this time i'll post your ask in its entirety!

i loved that idea so much i had to add it, especially gria's reaction to scar's voice. but yes-- since third life was one of the later seasons i watched, i was so used to proximity chat that i thought it was so endearing how they were excited about it during their first session. grian was so excited about it and the fact that someone could just catch him from behind talking to his audience, and in the lens of this au it might be a detail i could just gloss over but... thinking of VR games, the surround sound and proximity chat is one of its fun features and one that makes it incredibly immersing! Virtual reality games are so easy to be immersed in, and i do believe that if i were gria i wouldnt question the npcs having voices right away. i'd have an "oh hold on," moment way later. out of all of them, it was actually him who was the first to find it strange. even if joel found out about it at the same time as him, and -- going with third life canon -- jimmy meeting scott early on, they wouldn't find it suspicious or odd right away. that's because they're all easily immersed in the game.

for hermitopia and the life game, it was really hard for me to explain the mechanics only through descriptions and comparisons to existing games, so i do hope to create a game UI or fake screenshot of the games for better visualization of what i imagined. and yes, hermitopia is a popular game! not one that is mainstream that anyone outside the gaming sphere would know, but it might be notorious among spaces like how the elder scrolls franchise is. it's also the titular game of an AAA video game company, one that could afford to release it not only on consoles but also port it to PC, which is how Gria got to play it. i'm excited to talk more about that one when we get there.

the XP points are something i hope to play around with so i added it, as well as the customization aspect. i'm still working on the character designs, and i should've also drawn what they looked like when they played the alpha version, which was a huge oversight on my part! (one of many, now i realize) but for now, please imagine the customization to be something like how they all (mostly) shared a steve skin on EVO smp during the starting episodes. the customization was something new to their current game, but they were still able to use preset skins in the alpha test like how we have other default skins (ie. alex, efe, noor, etc). i genuinely forgot to tackle this aspect and it's now bothering me like a finger splinter ... ToT expect a chapter 0 where theres no words and just designs because now im going crazy over this

no you're not reading into it too much, but i did not think of this aspect and i now have plenty of ideas with it (and details i wish i could change in the last update ToT). I do want to say that they all look a tad bit different from what they look like irl! a good comparison would be their portraits here in the first part and something similar to my art of lifers in my style. but as for the facial expressions, that is a detail i did not think about... i was going to say they only rely on each other's tone of voice, but now im thinking maybe (at least only in this beginning part of the au) they have limited facial expression options that could show if they are smiling, frowning, or angry. something like this, maybe! :

i do like this idea!!! i like it a lot. that is something i havent thought far into. currently, they do not feel pain. the beginning part will be them going through it and focusing on the game mechanics, and they would react to "pain" like an immersed gamer would (ie, the streamer you watch saying "ouch" if they have been hit in-game). i wont say when they will feel real pain, but i love your take on it and i might be inspired by this when i get to writing this part. (of course, only if you're okay with that)

the background noises are such a great detail ... and i only have thought about gria's living condition, which is him renting a small apartment with his desk setup near a window (i have to draw this at some point, too.) as for the sitting down part, i do think the evo gang + joel are all standing up when they played real life, except skizz. so that is a fun idea to play around with...

ive thought about the limited movement in minecraft vr (specifically in 'real life') so much that it was my basis when i wrote the prologues instead of nicer, better tracked movement in VRChat. so ... there is motion tracking but it's incredibly janky.

scar interacting with gria was one of the only things i was intentional about, especially him putting his arm around gria and him winking. he has more control of his actions and expressions than gria and the rest of the gang at this point of time, yes :D and i am excited for the scarian moments ahead when gria is able to move freely like him. so excited.... very excited. :)

dont be sorry! your last ask helped me out a lot when i wrote the last update and it was such a delight to read through and think about. your ideas are so cool and i love them, and i am thankful something i wrote received such a long and thoughtful feedback.

thank you again so much nova !! i'll definitely come back to this ask frequently as i draft the au haha. i hope you have nothing but wonderful days ahead!

[cyxnidx]

EXPRESSIONS !

characters: soap, horangi, keegan

content: semi-fluffy x smutty, a little bit of passive aggression in keegans and maybe horangi?

a/n: love the idea of a stoic reader with expressive partners omfg. this took wayy longer than it probably should've.

JOHN 'SOAP' MCTAVISH

strangely enough, he adores the fact that you're quite stoic in the face.

he actually prefers it.

when talking to you casually and he says something that catches you so off guard you make a visible expression? he gets so giddy.

you blink, haulting in action as you stare at the man in front of you, a stupid grin across his face. which, in contrast to your visually concerned expression, is odd to see. though, in his eyes, this is like getting a little kid that was too shy to even look at him moments ago to become a giggling mess - he feels accomplished.

he makes it a personal goal to get you to laugh at least once, every day.

especially since it seems like he's the only man alive to actually get a laugh out of you.

you look around, quiet and confused on why everyone was laughing at a joke one of the soldiers had said moments ago. though, when you look at soap, he makes a face. a face you recognize, and a face you find quite childish - almost like something an adult would make to a child. but, in contrast to the classic joke that was slid earlier, you begin to giggle at the funny face. "jeez, mctavish. tell me, what's ya' trick for gettin' the lil lady to laugh?" a voice asks.

soap can't help but laugh, nearly boasting about how you receive his odd actions as entertainment.

though, he still has no real idea of why exactly you let em do it.

now sexually? oh boy.

as stoic as you are, you're just as, if not more quiet. so when he gets the chance? he pushes every button possible.

sometimes it's like a primal need - to hear you is a gift. a moan, a small curse, whimper, uneven breathing. anything.

soap thrusts with precision, hands on your waist as he watches your expression closely. he knows your enjoying it, he can feel it. but that's not exactly what he's looking for. and almost like clockwork, he hears a whimper. something small, something most would push off and forget about - but not him. that? that was a door of opportunity for him. getting back to position, he thrusts in that same area, arousal growing when he hears your whimpers and groans turn into full fledged moans and pleas of pleasure. "that's right, lemme hear you, pretty. l'me hear your pretty little noises, yeah? doin' so good f'me."

HORANGI

he finds it odd at first. he never really got to explore it much, he never thought to.

somehow overlooked it?

"i didn't notice how.. stoic, you were." he mentions, completely randomly. you blink, tilting your head, hinting confusion. "what do you mean?" "you don't express much in the face, y'know?" you hum, continuing back to your previous task. "how did you not notice?" horangi shrugs. "i've never cared to look so closely."

after that, he pays more attention to your stoicism.

not only does it notice it's a bit creepy, but almost challenging.

"what's it gonna take to get an expression outta you?" he questions, placing a finger on your forehead. and as he looks at you, he notices your eyes drop a bit lower than normal, eyebrows a little too relaxed compared to what he's used to and he backs up a step or two. the glare you give him is unsettling, and if looks could kill? he'd be dead. "damn, baby, is that how you look at your enemies before killin' em?" you only roll your eyes. "and that's the last time you'll see me willingly give express myself physically."

to get you to express something is a bit difficult for him.

except for you glaring at him like he slapped a close family member.

but then, of course, what if your expressions weren't exactly voluntary?

and that's how he found yourself between your legs, watching as every move he made evicted an expression.

"why, there we are.." he smirks, licking his lips from the orgasm he just brought you to. "you sound so pretty moaning, baby." he kisses you, "n' you look even prettier coming on my face." you look down at him, still sighing heavily from your high. "suck a dick." "that's no way to thank me, but alright.."

KEEGAN

he understands it, to an extent. he made an effort to be close friends with you before asking you out.

he likes to annoy you, a lot.

just to see you get a little irritated, to see the rather dull look in your eyes light up a bit. even if it is with a little fire.

"keegan, can you please get the fuck on." you warn, tired of his constant teasing. though, he stops for a moment and pouts. "you mad at me, baby?" "no, i'm fucking ecstatic." you say sarcastically. "oh, come on. nothings wrong with a little friendly fire." "everything is wrong with friendly fire right now."

he's literally like a little ball of curiosity when it comes to you.

he craves more - more knowledge, more experience.

sometimes he just does dumb shit. why? no reason.

creeping up behind you, keegan pinches at your arm, eyes full of curiosity when he watches you jump slightly and turn to look at him. "what the fuck." you say flatly. "i love you," he says with a goofy ass smile.

he likes to see watch and see how you always seem to try to hold yourself together sexually.

it literally seems like every time he's mildly teasing you, it's like you want more but holding yourself back.

you sigh, resting your head against the cupboard behind you. keegan has you sitting on a counter in the kitchen, and seconds ago his lips and hands were all over you. until he stopped. "what is it, baby?" he questions, looking at you knowingly. you chuckle, mildly annoyed. "nothing, you fuck."

he loves to get a rise out of you, especially sexually. he soaks in every expression and little noise that escapes your pretty lips.

fingers up your cunt, keegan finds himself grinning as he watches your hips grind in synchronicity with his fingers while your usual neutral expression is now contorted with pleasure and desire. though, that feeling is stopped when he removes his fingers from your cunt before licking your juices off his fingers greedily. only to be met with one of your burning gazes. "what is it? somethin' you wanna tell me?" he tempts, watching you frown at the lack of pleasure now.

[pain-is-too-tired]

You know what, should've done this last month,but heck I'm combining stuff for this month as well so-

Queer and Disabilitiy hcs for PJO characters

(I'll be mostly mentioning physical disabilities, but pretty much all characters are adhd and dyslexic(and ptsd) and will probably add lot as autistic so gdgd.)

Percy

I havnt really thought much on his Sexuality and such, maybe Bi?

Think he at least suffers from some form of asthma/ breathing related disability due to Tarturus. Drinking fire can not be good for your throat,definitely sleep apnea. Maybe back/ muscle problems from strain of holding up the sky? Not sure what that might do to someone tbh hdgd

Annabeth

Same as Percy pretty much, don't think much on her Sexuality and identity before and the same experience in Tarturus and the Sky holding stuff.

Think she also has some what of a permanent injury with her ankle/leg. At least enough to effect how she walks and such.

Also. Autistic, maybe ocd?

Rachel Elizabeth Dare

Aroace. I stand by that.

Also, her visions I feel like could be enough to be considered a disability. Maybe similar to Epilepsy? Since it can happen randomly and she collapses from it and all that. Like yeah it's part of her job description, but still hard to find a human job with that I feel.

Piper

Queer/Unlabeled, pretty much canon.

Leo

Demiromantic Graysexual

Probably some muscle issues and such post death? Or something like Fibromyalgia or Neuropathy

Autistic

Jason

Apagender(Gender Apathetic, just think he really don't care too much on how he's perceived gender wise-) Nebularomanic and Pansexual. Constant confused feeling of "do I like them or are we just really close friends-" feels fitting to him. Gdgdf

Also, canonically needs glasses. I feel probably partly due to getting hit in the head so often fgdf

(Also I could see him with visual snow/ static)

Maybe heart problems related to the use of electricity effecting his body? Like POTS or something hdgd

Also. Autism.

Nico

Gay(canon)

Similar lung problems as Percy and Annabeth cause Tarturus. Probably more issues related to being in a death coma in a jar. When he shadow travels/uses his powers too much he passes out cause of low electrolytes and blood sugar(cue Gatorade and Kitkats)

(most demigod abilities uses your electrolytes and sugar/carbs but powerful ones like shadow traveling where your form literally shifts uses more. In this essay I will-)

Also. ✨️Tism✨️

Will

Bi(canon)

I do love the hard at hearing hcs ngl hdgdf

After tsats,probably has same lung issues.

When using his healing also feel he uses a lot of his own needed electrolytes/vitamins and such which can give him a deficiency depending on how often he's doing it

Also Tism

Kayla

Aroace(I can not explain why if feel this fits but I do)

Type 1 Diabetes. Uses Insulin pump, Will has to stay on her case about keeping up with it fsgdg

Lee

He/They

Panromantic Graysexual

For the short time after, had complications from an injury from the Drakon fight.

Michael

Demi

Tism(especially sensory issues with sounds)

Jake

Queer(canon? We know he came out but nothing else. So you know what? I give him Queer label cause I can and feel like it'd fit him.)

Honestly probably so many problems from injuries. My man was in a full body cast guys.

Tbh, feel like all the Hephaestus cabin is Autistic. Feel in my bones.

[goth-mami-writer]

💙Reserve💙

♡

~💙The final part💙~

♡

~(Au) Leon Kennedy × f!Reader work.

♡

~(Find parts one and two here 💙)

💙 @antagonize-me-motherfucker 💙

⚠️(Smut warning, 18+)⚠️

~~~~

《 “Well, darlin’, you got anybody on your to-do list this weekend?” Leon's partner asked vulgarly under the guise of a joke, but Leon knew he wasn't kidding as you all waited for the chief to interview you about the case in the tiny interrogation room. He tried not to laugh, though he knew you were unafraid of hurting someone's ego.

Especially a man's.

You'd seen this one in particular in the club several times. He asked for a lot with only crumbs to pay for it and the memory of his stingy pockets made you giggle beneath your breath. Leon hoped you wouldn't antagonize his partner too hard. But now he watched as you made a show of the cherry lollipop that hung from your lips and your high heels propped up on the corner of the table.

Leon's colleague watched in sultry awe as you dragged the sucker across your tongue, only to quickly place the sugary center on the loop of his tie, breaking his daydream. You giggled evilly as it stuck to the fabric now, hanging away from his shirt by the candy. The man sighed after being torn from his visual tease, seeing his now ruined tie, and you answered his question,

“Yeah, probably your little wife.. Hope you got a good lawyer, big boy. She might fall in love with me after I make her eyes roll back.”

Before Leon could laugh at his coworker's annoyed face, the Chief rushed in the door with an urgent, hurrying presence and a face that spoke of trouble.

“We got a call. You need to get her home.” He said to Leon, out of breath in the adrenaline of finally cornering this perp across state lines after a call to their tipline.

Leon and his co-worker stood to get you out of the room but you felt Leon's hand guiding you down the stairway. It was silence between you two amid the sounds of running feet that stomped and trotted to get to the police cruisers. You felt Leon sharing their energy now as he slammed the door to put you in the car and rush you home.

You felt that this might be one of the last times you sat in his uncomfortable silence when he put the car in reverse to speed you downtown, trying to evade traffic.

You wanted to cherish it somehow.

Leon felt that he had to say something. He knew this tension was coming from the fear of what came after this case was complete. Which felt like tonight. He gripped the steering wheel harder and said with his stomach hollowing in the thought of being without you.

“You know….I plan on coming to see you. Maybe at the club sometime.”

You rolled your eyes to that comment that felt more dishonest than anything. After days and days of kissing him, piecing him back together after so much of himself given to this job- your only way of seeing him now was through monetary gain being half naked. You felt cheated.

“Yeah-” you mentioned sarcastically in your silent heartbreak, “-Maybe I'll see you at your bachelor's party or something. We'll have a ball.”

Leon sighed realizing that he should've chosen his words better once again,

“Don't be like that. You know that I'll want to see you ag-”

“You ever show your face in my club Leon Kennedy, I'll be the next one you hunt down.” You said short and spiteful as his tires met the paved driveway. You slammed his car door with hurt in your eyes as you approached the front door. He called your name, standing from the driver's seat to fix this and you shook your head to tell him you'd be waiting at the doorstep for him to return.

With your bags packed and your heart broken.

This case should've been freeing you. You were safe now that someone dangerous was off the streets. But the thought of being away from Leon felt like a trap you were trying so careful not to find yourself tripping into.

In the hours that he was gone, you packed your things into your large suitcase. Platform heels tucked away, money that had gotten lost in one of your bras stuffed in the pockets and makeup bags that you only needed for work now. You didn't even wear makeup around him anymore. He didn't want you to.

You made your way into his large walk-in closet to retrieve some of the dresses from their garment bag you couldn't fit in the guest room and you found his wide rack of dress shirts. Never thinking you would do this for a man ever.. you pulled one into your nose as you knew his cologne always lingered no matter how many times he dry cleaned them.

Your eyes watered to the soft, lingering scent of him upon the collar of the cotton thread you loved to lie your head on at night but the door downstairs opened suddenly. Quickly you wiped the tears from your eyes and hurried out of his closet.

You were at the top of his stairs when you found him removing his leather gun sling from his back, clearly wounded and moving carefully in pain. He turned to see you, having a small cut right at the top of his cheek lined in fresh blood and you gasped softly.

“That description-” He said stuttering from exhaustion and adrenaline all flooding his veins at once as he spoke somewhat tiredly triumphant,

“The one you gave us the first night was the only thing that helped us find him. He put up a hell of a fight but we got him..”

You raced down to make sure he wasn't bleeding anywhere else but he told you to stay up there. He climbed the steps, taking off his tie with an exasperated tug as he clearly moved out of breath and he saw your large suitcase already packed.

He swallowed heavily with a gulp but you moved your sleeve up to try and blot away the fresh blood away from his knicked face. He winced softly as you tried to treat him,

“I'm glad you're already packed.”

“Yeah- well. I know I've gotta go.” You mentioned hollowly as you wiped his cheek.

He looked down to you, knowing all this adrenaline and chase in his blood was making him crazy. But he had one thing on his mind now that he had no perp on the street ready to take you away from him. His eyes glanced down to your lips and he said quietly with a groggy warmth in his tone,

“Well, it'll make things easier to move your stuff into my room.”

You felt stopped by those words, wondering what he really meant but you suddenly gained clarity when he pushed you back against the wall. You were silly for ever thinking he'd let you return to life without him. His lips moved to your mouth with a hurried need and you gave yourself to his kiss without an ounce of hesitation.

Softly your fingers tussled into his hair, but your heart rate tripled in speed when he hoisted you up to wrap your long legs around him during the kiss that never slowed, only grew in passion. You felt fire this time when he kissed you so needful and deep. It wasn't like the times previous where you felt his mouth pecking soft to test the waters- this was yearnful.

His hips pressed into yours, giving that sweet pressure between your legs and your eyes rolled back as you were still joined to his lips. The only word you could muster before you felt his hand reaching up your skirt, moving your thin string underwear aside was merely,

“Leon..!”

You choked on a moan that nearly embarrassed you from the volume and desperation but you quickly recovered as he wrapped your arms around him, bracing you for what was next. You felt only one of his hands lowering down, unfastening his belt as his breath grew choppy when he kissed your neck and you gasped loudly in lust to feel him pressing himself inside of you.

His grip around you tightened, pulling you closer by your waist then also the back of your neck as he moved his hips now. Your legs fell limp, but your ankles stayed locked behind him loosely. Gently they shook now from the pleasure of realizing what you'd been missing.

He rested his forehead against yours, reminding you of the first time you kissed him and he said breathlessly in a mutter as he fucked you,

“You gonna stay here and be mine for a while?”

“....A while?” You asked with your mouth agape and practically sharing his breath,

“You think I'm going somewhere?.....After this?”

Men paid you to touch them. It was your gospel. But Leon Kennedy, he'd have to pay you to leave him. You smiled with him as you both heaved for air against the wall with your eyes widening to the feeling finally giving in. 》

[mrdixon]

A Rugged Muse | Chapter 1

pairing: eventual daryl dixon x f!reader

wc: 3.1k

warnings: swearing, violence, slight depiction of gore, vomiting

summary: reader has a shit day. basically the day of the outbreak.

A/N: FIRST CHAPTER WOOOO i am clearly not an art major…. im in the different arts. so apologies to you visual artists im going off from my lack of knowledge from my hobby lol. i really hope you guys enjoy this series because i am EXCITED to write it.

a rugged muse masterlist |regular masterlist

“Fuck,” you groaned, slamming your forehead onto the desk in front of you. A few heads turned to look at you in the library, you cursed under your breath and looked up again after a moment. Adjusting the glasses askew on your face before looking at the paper on the desk. The paper before you was worn with erased pencil marks, slightly wrinkled. Art block was the worst, you’d rather be ten feet under than stuck with art block.

You sighed, it’s been months since your last project and even that was a fail. It didn't help that you only worked at a fucking minimum wage job, maybe you should've listened to your parents and became a doctor or something. It wasn't like it was always like this, no… art school was a breeze. You had hosted real galleries where people came to see your art, and now look at you. Moping around in a library, desperately trying to find something to draw.

After tapping your pencil against the table which by the way, earned many dirty looks, you scooted closer to the table. Picking up your old sketchbook and frantically flipping through it to find…. so many god damn drawings of, him. Your god forsaken ex boyfriend, but he was gorgeous.

You met him ironically enough in art class, way back in high school. He was there by choice, you were not. Yet everything about him was just so captivating that you couldn't help but not switch out of the class, thank god you didn't. You enjoyed the class more than you expected, painting being one of your favourite forms of art, oils being your preferred medium. You painted and sketched every moment of the day, not putting down that brush for one second. Your ex boyfriend was your inspiration, every detail on that stupid face was engraved in your mind like a marble statue. His beautiful plump lips and the beauty marks that scattered over his face being two of your favourite features.

Art was everything to you, and so was he. He was all you drew, he made life seem prettier and happier. But then he dumped you for some random chick he met in a bar, that was six months ago.

Since then you've had no motivation and no inspiration for your projects. Flowers no longer had their charm, abstracts looked dumb to you again, oils looked muddy. Nothing worked.

You picked up your pencil and started at the paper again, pushing your glasses up before hesitantly sketching out lines. Your mind wandered back to him, you still couldn’t believe it. After years of being together he’d just leave like that? Those years of pure, innocent love where you’d make breakfast with him, take baths together, even paint each other for fun. Date nights that were full of giggles and messily painting on each others skin, his fingertips grazing over your eyelids and nose as he sculpted you out of clay. He threw that all away for a woman he’s known for one night.

Your pencil moved furiously against the paper, scarring it like he scarred you. When you looked back down at it you noticed it was him, those hostile eyes from that night staring right through you. Those words of heartbreak echoing through your mind, words that came from lips that used to kiss you every morning. You huffed angrily, no matter how much you hated him, he always came back. He was always in your mind, plaguing your thoughts like venom. Slamming your pencil down you stood up, ripping the paper furiously.

Now there were whispers, people looked at you weirdly. After remembering your place in the world, you picked up your things and packed up quickly, aching to get back home to your bed. While in your haste, you dropped something. You already were in an irritable mood so you took a deep breath before causing a scene over a dropped item, crouching down to pick up just to notice it was the painting knife he had gifted you months before you broke up. The words ”To the love of my life…” engraved on it. After shoving the painting knife back into your bag angrily you quickly got back on your feet and headed towards the door, not before throwing half your sketches into the bin. As if you couldn’t get any more frustrated, someone bumped into you which caused you to whip around. Though no words came out of your mouth as you took in the sight of the person.

They were sickly pale, sweating profusely and trembling. Their eyes were bloodshot, matching the… bite wound on their forearm? They shook looking at you, mumbling a meek apology and pushing their sleeve down over their arm before walking away. Weird. Anyway.

You turned back around, must be some weird prank or something. Whatever, you were extremely tired and needed to get back to your apartment asap. As you left the library the humid August air hit you like a truck, not helping your heated mood at all. Grumbling to yourself you tried not to let it affect you, instead pushing your hair behind your shoulders, what a convenient day to forget your hair tie. Nothing was going your way, it was like the world was against you. A scream broke your thoughts, it came from somewhere ahead of you. Great, someone probably got mugged and now you were next. Just another thing to keep you moody.

A woman turned the corner, running towards you. You braced yourself for the mugging but to your surprise, it never came. The woman’s face was drained, it was as if she saw a ghost. She didn’t stop running, she was terrified and stuff was falling out of her purse but she didn’t even bother to pick them up. You watched as she ran past you without batting as eye, what is going on today? Shrugging, you picked up the stuff she dropped, finders keepers. Gum, tissues, tampons, condoms, and… her wallet. You almost jumped in joy, you could really use the money right now.

Finally out of your mood you practically skipped down the street, looking through the wallet and counting the cash. $10… $28… $48… $130… $135— oh wait that’s a Canadian $5 what the fuck— $140. One hundred forty fucking dollars in cash, that woman must’ve been loaded to carry this much cash. Well, now you carried it.

Another scream broke your daze, but this time it was closer. You looked up and saw another terrified woman running towards you, this time knocking into you which caused you to crash onto the floor, the cash scattering across the pavement. Back in your mood.

“What the fuck is your problem!?” You yelled, watching the woman continue running and not even look back. Is there a goddamn marathon you didn’t know about or what? You fiercely picked up the scattered cash, shoving them into your bag immediately before crossing your arms and continuing your walk back to your apartment. Fixing your glasses you saw a man get tackled to the ground by another man a street in front of you, was this happening to everyone???

Much to your horror you watched as the man on top mauled into the other’s neck, tearing through the skin and splattering blood everywhere. You froze, feeling your blood run cold at the sight. You watched as the man kept eating away at the now, dead person. The man’s head turned slightly to grab at more of the bloodied flesh, you now noticing the cloudy eyes and gray skin. This man was already dead, so how was he…

You snapped out of it, turning the other way to avoid whatever was happening. This had to be a sick joke. Your heart was beating in your ears, weaving through the back lanes to find a different path to your home. Hair stood at the back of your neck as your senses were now alert, if whatever that was is real, you had to be way more careful. It was quiet in the alley, calm. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Stopping for a second to catch your breath and recollect your thoughts, bending over slightly and placing your hands on your knees.

“Jesus christ,” you muttered. You couldn’t get the visual out of your head, that man was murdered right in front of you. His eyes bulging out of his head when he couldn’t even scream for help, that… monster ripping his throat out and devouring him in broad daylight. You shook your head, running your fingers through your hair frantically as you tried to rid your brain of that image.

A low groaning filled your ears and before you could register it you were falling to the ground, a grunt escaping you as you quickly turned onto your back. One of those things were falling over you, your quick reflexes holding them up by their shoulders. You got a clear view of what they looked like, their eyes were clouded over, veins more visible under their pale skin, their lips and chin dribbling with blood. You grimaced, trying to scream but nothing came out, nothing but a flow of air. They were strong, jaw snapping closer and closer to you. If you didn’t do anything now you’d end up like that guy on that street. No fucking way you were going to die like that.

Struggling a little, you lifted your legs under them and kicked from their stomach. Throwing the thing off of you, grunting you scrambled to your feet. The thing quickly following, their leg twisted as they got up from the position you flung them in. Surely it would’ve hurt if it were you, but unlike you, they weren’t living. You opened your bag and shoved your hand in, cursing yourself in your head for shoving everything in there. You held out your other arm protectively while stepping backwards from the thing. The hand in your bag searched wildly for something to defend yourself with, something to kill with. Could you even kill them?

Your back hit the wall, panic filling your body as the thing got closer. Before it could get any closer you tucked your forearm under their chin to hold them back, a loud cry escaping you as you fought to hold them back. When you were starting to give up, the hand in your bag finally found something metal. Ripping it out you immediately swung at it with the item, sinking it into their head which was surprisingly easy. Adrenaline probably. The thing fell to the ground, dead again.

You let out a heavy sigh, sliding down the wall. You looked down at your hands, bloodied with what you could only hope wasn’t your own blood. You were shaking profusely, your breathing uneven. You closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing as you pressed your knees to your chest, the heel of your palm placed on your forehead. You stayed like this for a moment, you don’t know how long. But once you were ready you let out one last shaky breath before opening your eyes again, and glancing down at the thing on the ground in front of you.

You almost laughed as you realized you used the painting knife to end the thing, but you didn’t. You silently reached over and pulled it out, swallowing as it made a gross squelch sound. Looking down at your painting knife which was now covered in its blood, you wiped it off on their shirt. Taking a closer look at the body and noticing a bite mark on their shoulder, much like the person in the library. Your lip quivered as you imagined what had happened to them, what might’ve happened to you if you stayed. There was a low pit in your stomach as you stood up, your mouth suddenly filling with saliva before hunching over and vomiting. Your eyes filled with tears just realizing how close to death you were, throwing up your lunch.

You coughed, wiping your mouth on your sleeve before shoving the painting knife back into your bag. You had to get home, now. Your feet moved quickly, not stopping for even a second. There were barely anyone on the streets and you wondered if your home was even safe. Stop, your feet stopped. Don’t think like that. With a heavy breath you took off again, walking even faster towards your apartment building. Please, please, please….

You jolted suddenly as your phone started ringing, you grabbed it but didn’t stop walking. Answering without even checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” You said almost too quietly, still shaken up from your encounter with the thing.

“(Y/N)?? (Y/N), are you okay!?” The anxious voice yelled, it was your older brother, Glenn. You almost cried in happiness, walking even faster now.

“Yes Glenn, yes I’m fine…” you mumbled into the phone, breathing a sigh of relief that your brother was alive. “What is going on?”

“God, I don’t know. All I know is people are dying and coming back to life and eating each other and dying and coming back to—”

“Yeah, yeah I get it!” you cut him off, “I almost—” you stopped, deciding not to tell him about your fight. He was anxious enough, he always was but you didn’t want to worry him even more.

“Almost what?? You didn’t get bit did you!?” He yelled which caused you to pull your phone away from your ear in discomfort.

“No I didn’t, stop yelling.” You replied irritated, you heard him sigh on the other end. Hearing distant voices in the background. “Where are you?”

“I was at work when I saw everything go down, I drove back to the pizza place immediately.” He said more calmer, “but we’re gonna move out soon.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, “wait why? Isn’t it safe there? Why not wait for help?”

“You didn’t hear? I thought you were always on your phone,” you scoffed in annoyance at his probe. “They’re setting up camps, courtesy of the military I think.”

You chest filled with hope, you were going to be safe. “Oh thank god, okay wait I’m going back to my place to grab some things. Where is the camp?”

When Glenn responded his end was filled with feedback, static. “It’s gonna. Arou— Ta—”

“Glenn?? You’re… you’re cutting off.” You said nervously, nearing your apartment.

“A— Yo— I’m—” And the call failed.

Dread filled your body once again, now you really were going to cry. You shakily walked through the apartment building, keeping guard for potential things around. Opting for the stairs, you walked swiftly up them. Out of breath by the time you reached your room, fortunately there was nothing to stop you.

Once you got in you immediately dropped everything, locking the door and collapsing to the floor. Tears filled your eyes once more and you let some of them escape and trickle down your cheeks, you were scared. Scared of those things roaming around, they could kill, you’ve seen it. You removed your glasses momentarily to wipe your face. You shook your head you took a deep breath and stood up, you had to pack and leave immediately. You didn’t know where you were going but you had to leave, you had to find Glenn.

Putting your glasses back on, you crawled over and rummaged through your closet carelessly, trying to find a backpack that was big enough to carry all your necessities. Your apartment was already a mess so you didn’t bother being slow and careful right now, which might have been a bad idea as you snagged your finger on a stray box cutter.

“Shit,” you muttered while pulling your hand back, a cut dragged along your index finger. You rushed over to the sink, washing it quickly before throwing a bandage over the cut. While doing so you heard a police siren drive by, the sound dying off as it drove farther and farther away. You sighed before returning to the closet, grabbing a big enough backpack and shoving as much clothes you could get while also leaving room for extra things.

You stood up and looked around your small apartment, your bed looked so inviting. You were exhausted beyond help, your body aching with the need to rest. I shouldn’t. You thought and continued scrambling for items to take with you, the amount of scattered pages of sketches filled the space that was your floor. Your heart broke at the thought of leaving your things behind but you knew it’d be useless to take with you, but you couldn’t take nothing.

You grabbed a few pencils and brushes, along with a small paint palette and placed them carefully into your bag, an empty sketchbook joining them. While searching you opened your desk drawer, three daggers which you made in a welding class a couple years ago. They were sturdy and well sharp enough, thank god you were good at making things. You took them and put them into a sheath to prevent stabbing yourself. You grabbed a few more things like a lighter, some bandaids, and batteries. You frowned at the lack of supplies you had on hand, but you tried to convince yourself that you’d be taken care of at the camps.

You moved over to your small kitchen and grabbed a water bottle which you filled, also grabbing a couple snacks that would keep you full for a few days at best. You heard a few distant screams outside, some screams of pain which caused you to wince. The sudden thought of living in an apocalypse dawned over you, a feeling of dread rushing through you. You couldn’t shake the feeling off but you chose to ignore it. You did not want to go into a panic right now, you had to have a clear and positive mind if you wanted to live.

You pulled your bag over your shoulders and walked over to your mirror to take a look at yourself, grounding yourself for the world outside. You wanted so badly to sleep but you knew you had to get a move on if you wanted to get to a camp safely.

“I can do this..” you whispered under your breath, clutching at the handle of one of your daggers, turning to the door. You just had to get to a camp, but more importantly you had to find Glenn.

★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★★○★○★○★○★○★○

more a/n: for the sake of having glenn as reader's older brother im having him be around 24-27 years old right now, reader being like 23 ish. and daryl will be like 32….??? i dunno im trying to make this as canon as possible BUT UGH IT IS SO $&£”*^%*£ so yeah there will be a little bit of an age gap between reader and daryl but i hope that wont be too much of a problem for you guys…. probably not. and do not quote me if i get settings or the timeline wrong like twd is confusing enough for me……….. again im also like rewatching and making sure to make everything as close to the show as possible, but theres also the possibility of me altering the timeline (muehehehe). anyways tysm for reading and stay tuned! ★

[dennydraws]

What do you mean it's mid February!?

Anyone else feel like time is kinda speed racing? :D;; only me?? Work has been a landslide, holiday event after holiday event which made me overdo my regular coffee intake and now I suffer the consequences of wrecked sleep, migraines and back pain and my friends will probably put me in time out box after reading this... u_u;; I always stress eat/drink during work's more intense periods... and by drink I mean coffee - alcohol is not something I'm fond of anymore.

It feels like a pattern of, work gets busy, I stress, I can't manage with my own personal project, I try to unwind with shows/games then feel guilty stressed I didn't work on said projects and aaaa...

Now that work is calming down, I'm trying to get back into healthier habits and reducing the coffees to 1-2 during the day instead of having the coffee machine injected into my veins through the weekdays lol;;;

I feel iffy I've fallen off with my OCKiss Week challenge, I was excited to do it and my eyes are always super tired once I'm home after work. I hope to get at least 1 drawing done ;u; I was thinking of sketches but maybe just 1 finished piece will be okay. Kisses are still actually kinda hard for me! I end up locked in a loop of adjusting the sketch forever xD;; but that's also fun part of the challenge!

I'm iffy I'm still not done with Sneric Comic chapter 15... I do good progress then something else pops up and I have to do that in the weekend instead. It doesn't help that it's like 9-10 pages and procreate suddenly reminded me I have way too many layers :D;;;; It is a bit too much for a chapter, I admit. My chapters are like 5 pages top and this one is twice the size. I did recently do an overlook of what's left to illustrate, there is still some big story points to hit... so much about "short comic" ...u_u;;;

Admittedly when I started this, supposedly short story, I didn't think it will go for over a year. I did learn some things though! Like, I miss when I draw pages traditionally and I should never underestimate the importance of pre-planning and thumbnailing xD;; I should've learned by now but nope... I thought I could yolo it cause I wasn't super serious with this comic and went off with purely vibes.

Other than that... I'm at the final post end game content in Rune Factory 4! It was a ton of fun :D I loved the characters so much! I am floored at the amount of dialogue and attention to detail. This game spoiled me greatly... u_u;; I don't know if I can finish the Rune Prana dungeon by the end of the month but I will try (Suikoden Remaster is coming in March aaa)!! My Frey got to marry Arthur and I was not prepared for the amount of feels his events brought me. This poor, poor man needs to be pampered and loved. I hope I can squeeze some fan art sometime soon... T^T;;;

Other than that, I'm eating well with Severance season 2!! Oh gosh, this show is an absolute delight to watch... visually and mentally. I'm kinda glad there is one episode every friday otherwise I'd have binged everything and this show feels like it needs a slower consumption. xD It's nice to see a show where the little "whatfuckary" is actually well thought out and intentional.... unlike this other show -side glance at From- .... at least this is the impression I'm getting so far! :D Anyhowsies! This was my quick life update... and I need to scoot back to work now! I hope everyone is doing well and enjoy the chocolates for St Valentine, spend some time with loved ones or give yourself some much deserved quality time! :>

Thank you for stopping by, dear reader!

[symeona]

It's also so normal and human to just not be into someone romantically though.

Like i get liking them together but why do people always have to pretend there's any actual evidence for romance when their interpretation basically boils down to "you wouldn't do that for a friend would you". Like maybe not, much more likely for a best friend than a boyfriend though.

It's obvious how much they love either other. Textually that's all there is. Literally nothing points to romance.

Obviously you wouldn't do that for a friend irl. But you also wouldn't do that for a romantic partner. Also Magic isn't real. Also romantic or not it's clearly not meant to be a normal relationship anyway.

Why does it always have to be romance

I read your other ask anon, and don't worry I don't think you come off as unnecessarily combative or rude at all!!!! No need to apologize for sharing your opinion!! I appreciate it actually!! 🤘

I think these discussions are super interesting so don't worry at all, this is the fun of different perspectives imo. And if you had the time and energy I'd love to hear your interpretation of Jayce and V! I don't think my word is law, I just speak on what I feel. Feelings can change lol

And here's mine if u want more context for my dumbassery✨

I'm with you on that 10000%, not everything has to be romantic, not every sacrificial act has to be for the sake of romance or attraction. I think *my* favorite example of that is Zoro and Luffy from One Piece? If you haven't watched it, they truly are DEVOTED to each other and if Oda came out one day and made them romantic partners I would be mad 💀 I would make a post or two about that lmao

And for Arcane, I find examples like Sevika and Vander to be similar to that. Even though maybe I'm reaching here, there was clearly history between them before Sevika joined Silco. And she clearly felt guilty about what happened later, when she stood in front of his statue. I don't think there was romance there, but there must have been something close to a friendship or a level of respect. Same with Vander and Silco, those two had more visual parallels with Powder and Vi. I never got the feeling that there was something more there, the show was very clear. In fact, I genuinely thought they were brothers before I rewatched season 1.

But Jayce and Viktor piss me off dbndndhd

I didn't care much for them, I didn't even mind how the show treated their arcs or dialogues or anything. What bothered me were the creators, later. Because to me, they made no sense?? I don't consider myself illiterate in terms of film? Or human interactions for that matter?

Jayce and Viktor had many visual parallels to Vi and Cait. Like genuinely, the way they were treated cinematically was very similar, and I could get into it, but truthfully this doesn't mean THAT much to me djjdjddn I'm ace myself, and very firm about what it means to love someone as a friend vs a partner.

It's not that Jayce went too far for his friend, it's the long stares, the DIALOGUE ayo, the visuals that made me question wtf was going on between them. And it wasn't really anything more than a raised eyebrow for me, until the creators spoke up.

Cause, full transparency here, I don't like the discussions around Cait and Vi's sex scene. I really don't. I don't like how straight men seem to be so invested in releasing the full scene. And it makes me question, perhaps *unfairly*, the creator's motivations behind all the queerness in the show. Again, it doesn't have to be black and white. This is my genuine question though, how come none of the queerness touched no masculine ppl or men? Is it because of LoL and its predominantly straight fandom? Or was that just how the story was built.

I don't want to see V and Jayce get together, I honestly don't think they should've actually gone there

1. There was no time, you needed an extra season to convince me that either Jayce left Mel or that they became a throuple

2. Eh, not necessary for the story imo

But I just don't buy that their relationship was an uncomplicated friendship. I straight up don't, I think it got weird, i think it got even a little queer. And I thought it was fun that way. And I just wish the creators didn't speak on it at all. Just let it be weird.

Thank you, this was my essay bffjdbdb

[dayoldbaguette]

re: arcane season 2 finale

Long summary of my viewing experience under the cut:

A summary:

They really dropped the ball on the whole social issues plot and theme, in like, everyone's stories, huh. rip Sevika, I knew the end was near when they gave you that terrible hair cut (fr, zaun needs better barbers on top of everything else). There was no point where it feels like Piltover was forced to reckon with its actions towards Zaun in a major way. There was no uprising, no recognition that maybe we shouldn't have retaliated like this post council chamber explosion. guess the oppression continues as usual (or okay, small incremental changes through sevika on the council I guess but like, narratively this feels deeply unsatisfying). Zaun should've pressured Piltover into giving them independence or smth during the attack. But no. Turns out Piltover can oppress Zaun all they like and only tear down the barricades when they need more meat for the war meat grinder.

wow. they really ruined caitvi huh. yeah. who went 'i'm the dirt under your nails' would be cute and similarly, who said 'oh yeah this sex scene in A JAIL CELL, right after your sister heavily implied she's about to go off herself, with your ex who has not quit oppressing the city you're from or even apologized for all she's said/done' is about true love and not, you know, reeking of desperation that in another show I would assume would be reflective of like, having such incredibly low-self esteem this would be rock bottom. Grow a backbone Vi, your girlfriend thinks you're an animal and has yet to apologize for it.

magic is boring and I feel nothing now. I liked it more when magic was basically a metaphor for technology in unequal societies. Viktor was more interesting then, and this 'humanity is a weakness' conflict is much less interesting than the social issues conflict we had in the first season. I'm not a jayvik shipper, thoroughly ambivalent towards them, I just. Could not manage to care about that plotline at all basically.

Episode 7 is the only good part. they really teleported into a coffee shop AU/everybody* (except Vi) lives fanfic of their own show. can someone write a season 2 that had episode 7's energy. (and I don't mean I want it to be perfect reality I just want that sort of episode, focused on like, 1-2 events with lots of character work back. It's by no means perfect, but I at least feel something positive about it without feeling hollow so)

visuals and artsy montages are cool but they are not an excuse for literally skipping character development. they literally just. did not give any character development to cait between ep 3 and 4 and just hoped we'd be fine with it. what. last episode she hated these people so much she wanted to gas them and become dictator, next episode post time skip she's gotten what, bored?

This is silly but I don't like jinx's hair in the final scenes. i like the multiple dyes, but she went too short in the back. it's giving witness era katy perry a little bit. and her outfit without the hood to make it cool is just not it.

they really did my girl dirty. justice for jinx, give her the redemption she deserves. by this I mean 1) isha felt like a stock character there to flip jinx's switch from happy to suicidal, felt like a cheap manipulative trick and 2) making her die/fake her death is uhhh, dumb. no, I refuse, she deserves the chance to work to make zaun and piltover better, just like she deserves to finally have a good relationship with her sister

Justice for my boy ekko. give him a seat on the council, why does he end the series alone and mourning a girl who prob isn't dead

the ending feels hollow tbh. the social issue aspect of it is secondary to well, the arcane, and ironically arcane to me was never about 'the arcane', but about everything surrounding it. It's not about magic, but the people it affects. without issues that we face irl to ground a story about magic, it becomes hollow. a pretty dream or thought experiment. what part of 'my friend has become jesus and is now convinced he needs to destroy emotions because they make us flawed' is relatable. wish the resolution to the series was you know, something that felt like a puzzle coming together, a resolution that involves all the characters, not literally just a 'I know you're somewhere in there' fight between Jayce and Viktor, one which Ekko is the only one to contribute to, and this by just, chucking his machine at Vik's head. what. what does that mean other than. if you encounter a magical problem throw a magic machine at it. cool. great story. I love investing my time in this. what thrilling character driven storytelling. don't you feel like all of the character development has been leading to this pivotal drive chucking scene??? Aren't you impressed by our wit and clever writing???

honestly, they should've given us less ambessa and mel drama. all felt very disconnected from the rest of the plotlines

we never get time to linger, we never get time for character development, it's like we have a list of beats to hit with no regard for how we get there. 'evolution has a destination' indeed, victor, and the destination is apparently all this season cared about, who cares about the journey and characters on it, right?

ugh. it's 3 am. I want to go to sleep.

[thefudge]

challengers thoughts, fresh out of the cinema:

so this was a very understated experience. i mean it was so mild??? good mild, even great mild, but still quite mild. the way the film was marketed and the buzz around it, i was expecting smth way more risque and ballsy about the triangle/threesome, but it was all very low-key and elegant and maybe ultimately a little thin, but still worth seeing

i really liked the almost-bursting eroticism of every scene, the way each frame, especially on the tennis court, was so raw and intimate. i do think the eroticism was more enhanced when it came to the men and their half-repressed desires for each other, but i hunger for films that embrace eroticism as visual and tactile language

that being said, i do think this movie held back a lot. i loved the sensual style, mixed in with the sort of aggressive punchiness and frustration of three people who can't bear to be with or without each other, but i don't think this triangle ultimately works because the desires are unequal and the dynamics are not equally compelling

tashi/art needed to have more spark, imo; for the triangle to work all sides need to be interesting. even if the passion has sort of fizzled between art and tashi, their dynamic should've still conveyed some kind of compulsive need. it's not enough for art to be 'pathetically' submissive to her, we need to see why tashi likes that submission, why art can still get under her skin. and i don't think they delivered on that

yes, patrick is the agent provocateur, he's the one who rattles art and tashi, but art has to rattle tashi and patrick back, and while there is a sort of attempt to do that, it doesn't quite land for me.

that's why tashi feels left out of the movie, at times, because when the boys are left to their own devices their chemistry is more interesting than tashi's chemistry with art (and even her chemistry with patrick)

yeah, tashi/patrick was hot and well done and i obviously fuck with them and will be writing smth about them for sure, and that scene where patrick grabs her face in the car and they're basically going at each other, having a mini tennis match and they're not even fucking yet? cinema 10/10. ditto the scene where tashi basically tells him he'd be better off with a gun in his mouth. that's romance babey. but even so! i still think they needed a little smth extra, a little oomph, if you will. we needed to spend more time on the toxicity, on why this pairing didn't work when they were young. i really liked that one fight they showed us back in college (can u tell i liked all their scenes) where they get into the nitty gritty of winning and patrick lets her know he's her peer, not her fanboy, and i wanted more of that!!! more heated discussions about who's in charge, more back and forths about their ambitions and obsessive tendencies, more twisted moments of tashi trying to get in his head by using art and patrick doing the same to her. where's the toxicity!!!! where's the metaphorical tennis!!!

(incidentally, you can see that tashi/patrick and art/patrick scenes play out like riveting and sometimes literal tennis matches, but art/tashi....doesn't. that's why i'm saying this triangle didn't work)

anyway, even with all that, i appreciate the fact that this movie exists and i love that zendaya as tashi was allowed to be really messy and vulnerable but also in charge of her own mistakes. i do agree with folks who say that she was a little sidelined, but i love that she was just as morally devious and hungry as patrick, for instance.

big pluses for the soundtrack, the sound editing and directing. the way luca guadagnino had those boys moan every time they hit the ball lol sir, i see you. i also like that the final act was basically a long, sublimated threesome and the climax was the coming together of all three parts, and the winner didn't matter anymore, because it was always about these three finding a balance, finally tennis became a relationship, like tashi said in the beginning (i just wish the movie had dwelled on this more in order to earn this final scene)

but shooting a tennis match from the POV of the ball??? yesss, this is what i go to the movies for. give me more creative batshit camerawork like that

loved the little things that were communicated entirely without dialogue, things that were planted early on and brought back visually, just the sensual language of cinemaaaaa

so to conclude, i did want more from this experience but i'm glad ppl are still making psyschosexual dramas of this caliber. we desperately need more interesting and three-dimensional media that tackles the intricacies of desire. and we need more crazy camerawork set to trent reznor and atticus ross!

[redfurrycat]

🤠🐓The Chicken Peach & the Zenithal Cowboy Fic Recs🐓🤠

Check the Top Gun Masterlist post for the latest updated version. 💕

Ao3 Authors:

WITHOUT PLOT* — Acetonitril, Anonymous, Crueltether, Dalearden, Discosleaze, Dornfelder, Earthangel_44, Elizabethgee, Ginnydear, Indybob, Irrlicht74, K0ralik, Lesbiseresin, Lovelybattle, Magdarko, Nimuetheseawitch, Nixie_DeAngel, Popstar, Renai_chan, Shadowdancing, StoriesofmyLife, Tasteofoxidation, Teacupivy, UsedDivinity, Winterbucky.

WITH PLOT *— AllForReading, Aphroditedany, BethAnnAngel, Dracculaura, Earthangel_44, FlowersOnMyMind, ForMaverick, Fuddlewuddle, HalbarryTrashcan, Halestrom, Hangmanbradshaw, Ilarina, Indybob, Leavemeinthelibrary, Lesbiseresin, Local_troubled_writer, LoveMadeThemDoIt, Mackwinnon, Magdarko, SaintClaire, Teacupivy, Vannral, VarjoRuusu, Winterbucky.

*Purely subjective. + May include variations other than the targeted theme, so read the Ao3 Tags, Summary & Author Notes with caution! :)

PWP {🤠🐓} > Bosom!Hangman > The Perched Rooster & the Brooded Texan > Everywhere. Every-Fucking-Where.

‼️Art Visual‼️ ==> Cock-A-Doodle-Do by lowlife_symptoms {E}

/WITHOUT PLOT/

your body's writing checks (that I wanna cash) by StoriesofmyLife {E}

Sometimes, in a rare show of vulnerability, Bradley will let Jake take the reins. Or: After waking up from a nightmare, its Bradley’s turn in the cockpit, so to speak. Aka: the Jake tops Bradley fic that this fandom is severely lacking.

They Could Have Had That So Much Sooner by Irrlicht74 {E}

The kiss was deep and passionate, more tongue and teeth than real finesse, but it made Jake lose what little had been left of his mind after the first time Bradley had kissed him. Short and sweet by comparison, but intentional, saying yes to... Well, him, Jake Seresin. A relationship. Maybe more. It was... about fucking time, to be honest. They could have had that so much sooner if they hadn’t been such idiots about it.

the way we move by Anonymous {E}

"Oh, fuck. Holy shit." Bradley's words catch his sharper attention now, pulling him from the dizzying state of bliss he'd been losing himself in. He opens his eyes to see Bradley's head turned to the side, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape. Jake realizes he's looking at something, eyes laser-focused in. "What? What is it?" Jake asks as tries to follow his gaze. "It's..." Bradley breaths, and Jake's breath leaves him like a punch to the gut as his gaze finally reaches its end destination. As he sees what exactly it is that Bradley's looking at that's got him looking more heated than Jake's seen him in a while.

I’m in the mood, the rhythm is right, move to the music (we can roll all night) by StoriesofmyLife {E}

“You don’t see me for over a year,” Bradley pants, moaning when teeth bite at his neck, a hot tongue soothing the sting a moment later. “And that’s how you greet me?” ”You don’t seem to be too put out about it.” Jake drawls. “Least of all from where I’m sittin’.” He adds, rocking his hips upwards for emphasis. * Or what should've happened, in my opinion, after the bar scene ft. sex in the Bronco and Bradley (attempting) to be the ultimate power bottom.

You got me stuck on the thought of you by Popstar {E}

“Where’s your hat?” Javy asks as he comes to stand next to him. Jake’s eyes flick from Bradley to Javy, then he jerks his head towards Bradley but keeps his gaze on Javy. “Rooster just took it.” Javy’s eyebrows shoot up at that. “He came by and took your cowboy hat?” “Uh-hu.” “Does he know about the rule?” “I doubt he does.” Or the one where Bradley takes Jake’s cowboy hat.

The Octagon by Earthangel_44 {E}

Monday

“Unless you can’t mount me,” Bradley baits in a low voice, “unless you can’t fuck me like you think you can.” Bradley cups Jake through his sweats and squeezes. “Unless I need to find another alpha to fuck me and finish what you started.” AKA: Omega MMA fighter Bradley with Alpha Boxer Jake.

Tuesday

Bradley watches Jake fight for the first time since they’re together.

Whipped Cream by lovelybattle {E}

Bradley hummed, “you taste good.” He tasted like whipped cream, mixed with the spiced rum that Jake had been drinking along with some hot chocolate and a hint of cinnamon. All topped off with something that was just Jake, a taste that Bradley has come to love.

Take me to places I can't imagine by UsedDivinity {E}

Rooster gives off bottom vibes and he's gonna get bullied for it the fic

hold me close and make me yours by Anonymous {E}

It's completely unfair, really, how attractive one man in a worn-soft long-sleeved t-shirt and old gray sweatpants can look just silently reading a book, sinking into the cushions with his legs splayed out like that and looking so relaxed.

Santa, Baby by Renai_chan {E}

Jake puts on another costume for Bradley, and Bradley isn't quite sure about this one. On the one hand, Jake is sexy in all his forms. On the other hand, he's dressed as Santa.

I Tried to Read Between the Lines by Earthangel_44 {E}

Bradley finds himself between a wall and hard spot

spend it like it's gold by dalearden {E}

There’s something about the closeness, the primal need for skin on skin that keeps them hot for each other even now they’ve got rings on their fingers and are getting older every day."

just friends by ginnydear {E}

we passed "just friends" about 20 fucks ago.

you flipped a switch and now im on you by tasteofoxidation {E}

Jake knows how the night is going to play out when Bradleys first port of call is not to answer to the call of his name. Instead, he waves Nat off with a raise of his finger, goes to the bar, and doesn't look at Jake once.

old habits by crueltether {E}

“How long are you stationed here?” Bradley asks, toeing his shoes off. Jake sets his bottle down on the table just next to the door and shrugs a shoulder. “Long enough. You wanna keep talkin’ or do you wanna get what you really came all the way out here for?”

virgin beefcake bradley gets fingered by confident hunk by elizabethgee {E}

Bradley has never been with a man. Jake has. Bradley gets much more than he bargained for (but he's not complaining).

Cravin’ You by indybob {E}

Bradley has been feeling some type of way all day. His not-so-subtle hints to Jake all seem to have gone unnoticed. That is, until they get each other alone. Or: Bradley has been desperate for Jake all day, and Jake loves riling him up.

sugar on my tongue by discosleaze {E}

"pierced nipples taste like keys and baby, i'm coming home" - Bradley Bradshaw's pinned tweet, probably. Jake has a pierced nipple. Bradley is incapable of thinking about anything else.

big boy, come on 'round by acetonitril {E}

Jake can admit that he’s always had a thing for Bradley’s more sturdy body parts, the ones he could hold on to and sink his teeth into. So seeing Bradley like this feels like an invitation, like something just for Jake. Bradley’s still very much the same, but there’s simply more of all his favorite bits now. Bradley, enhanced.

I only pray (don’t fall away from me) by Anonymous {E}

Jake Seresin has an acquired taste. It comes in the form of the clubs most desired; Rooster. His wide doe eyes, ridiculous pornstache that fits him so perfectly, and his tan, toned body. And what Jakes wants, Jake gets.

relax by Anonymous {E}

austin interlude by lesbiseresin {E}

Long distance is something that isn’t easy to pull off. Some nights, Bradley missed him so much that he could feel his absence aching in his ribs, right behind the place where he’d cracked them during the mission with Maverick. Letters can only do so much. Phone calls make it more bearable, but nothing is better than having each other close. That’s how Bradley usually feels, anyways. He also usually likes Texas, but right now— “I wish we’d never come here.” (alternatively: jake & bradley finally sharing the domesticity they deserve)

I just want back in your head by nimuetheseawitch {E}

It's the faculty holiday party, and all Bradley wants is for his ex-husband to notice him. Once Jake does, the rest is history.

your DNA's bein' messed with my touch (can't beat us) by teacupivy {E}

“What do you need?” “Don’t know,” Bradley’s already shaking his head. “Just distract me.”

humorous beautiful weeds by winterbucky {E}

Life on a ranch is hard but rewarding, and Rooster finds himself happy - probably for the first time since he left his home. The only downside is the annoying son of the owners, Hangman, but... even he has some pros. Like getting Rooster's back blown out under the stars. Or pretending there's nothing but sex between them. Spoiler - pretending isn't going great or ranch au where they fuck under the stars and possibly start something more

taste your beating heart by magdarko {E}

Wanna take you home and get my mouth on you, he’d said, wanna spread you out and make you scream for me, and Bradley had nodded desperately against his mouth. * In which Jake does... pretty much that

curiosity killed the cat by k0ralik {E}

Bradley Bradshaw has been told his whole life that men don't cry. That men are conquerors and should never show any weakness, let alone ask for something. They shouldn’t ask, no, they should take it, rip it out with their teeth, fight for it tooth and nail, even if they get their hands dirty. But he doesn’t feel any less a man when he asks for it. or: bradley wears nothing but a maroon rope and a pair of socks, and jake rules his world

Now I'm Down Bad by Nixie_DeAngel {E}

Sometimes secrets coming to light is a good thing. And sometimes secrets coming to light is the start of something wonderful.

drippin' in my favor by k0ralik {E}

Apparently, surviving a suicide mission by the skin of your teeth not only takes a physical and emotional toll on you, but can also give you insomnia. There’s the feeling of restlessness pulling at Bradley’s chest, making it more difficult to breathe, and if there’s one medicine to it, Bradley knows where to find it. or: bradley can't sleep. jake soothes him. Apparently, surviving a suicide mission by the skin of your teeth not only takes a physical and emotional toll on you, but can also give you insomnia. There’s the feeling of restlessness pulling at Bradley’s chest, making it more difficult to breathe, and if there’s one medicine to it, Bradley knows where to find it. or: bradley can't sleep. jake soothes him.

he's not the jealous type by discosleaze {E}

dear diary, don't* date a twin. love, bradley. *nevermind.

Your Body Is My Alter by Nixie_DeAngel {E}

Sometimes Jake just needs to wring every ounce of pleasure from his husband as he can.

that's my good girl by shadowdancing {E}

Jake Seresin is known for being an observant man. He sees the hand prints on Bradley's waist and the hickeys on his throat. He sees the way his eyes light up when he's praised. And based on the frustration in his body, Jake knows he isn't getting fucked like he wants...like he deserves. Bradley Bradshaw is known for being an intelligent man. For years, he's been letting sexual encounters mark him up, just so he can get Jake's eyes on him. He knows Jake sees them, determining that under Bradley's bluster, he's desperate for Jake to fuck him, to give him what he needs in a way no one else can. This is the story of two men pushing and pulling at their desires, figuring out their feelings, and satisfying each other in the way they've been desperate for since they met.

I'm Gay, You're the Chicken by dornfelder {E}

Rooster has never kissed a guy. Hangman – kind of – volunteers.

/WITH PLOT/

Top Gun: Maverick retold by Fuddlewuddle {E}

I'll ride in this life with you

Rooster is called back to Top Gun along with 11 other pilots for an important mission. Not only does he have to deal with the unresolved issues with Maverick now the Captain is going to be the one training them, but he's also been assigned to live with the one person who seemingly lives to infuriate him; Hangman. He'll be lucky if he even makes it to fly in the mission in the first place. (Or, my alternate take on the events of Top Gun: Maverick if Rooster was made to live with Hangman).

Promise me, Just hold my hand

It follows Rooster and Hangman's relationship over the months and years following them getting together.

fever started a long ago by vannral {M}

'Okay, Bradley has to admit, this wasn’t one of his brightest ideas. He should’ve stayed home, taken some ibuprofen and just sucked it up and passed out but no. He had to push it. And here he is, dealing with the consequences of his own stupidity.' In which Bradley gets sick, Jake gets jealous of a guy at the bar and takes care of Bradley. They’re both pining for each other and are even worse at hiding it.

learning steps by vannral {E}

”So, an instructor?” A straight hit. Bradley shifts uncomfortably on the leather seat and clears his throat. ”… Yeah.” In which Bradley becomes an instructor after the mission, Jake keeps showing up to his classes and his students are very curious about their dynamic.

A One Time Thing by ForMaverick {E}

“I’m fine. Stay the fuck where you are.” Bradley inches closer to the shower wall, the coolness of the wet tiles soothing against his burning skin. “Or better yet, leave.” “You don’t look so good—” “Fuck off.” Bradley closes his eyes again as another wave of pain and nausea sweeps through his body. “I’ll be fine, just leave me the fuck—” “Bradley.” That makes Bradley stop in mid-sentence. Jake using his first name is a rarity. ‘Rooster’ is familiar territory. A teasing ‘Bradshaw’ is not too uncommon either. Hell, sometimes that menace of a man will even drawl out the full ‘Lt. Bradley Bradshaw’ when he’s going for maximum asshattery. But just ‘Bradley’? That’s—that’s new. Bradley exhales shakily. “I’m asking this from the bottom of my heart and as politely as I possibly can right now: please fuck off.” “Are you—” Jake pauses. There’s a sharp inhale. “Dude, are you going into heat?”

the way we surrender (tender, no pretense) by vannral {E}

’”Well, Rooster, you’d better not be expectin’ any flowers, though, that’s not gonna happen.” A small, treacherous part under Bradley’s sternum falters, twists into knots. No. It’s a bad idea. You’re gonna get hurt in the long run. There’s a reason why you two are always at odds.’ In which Bradley and Jake agree to blow off steam together, all the while being in love with each other and convinced this is all they're able to have. It’s a train wreck from the start.

Paper Rings by Earthangel_44 {E}

Jake comes back from deployment and Bradley has waited too long.

if honesty means telling you the truth (I’m still in love with you) by local_troubled_writer {E}

Bradley “I got sent on a suicide mission” Bradshaw and Jake “and I took the ‘suicide’ part personally” Seresin. Aka, the one where they go on the impossible mission, somehow make it out alive and someone confessed some feelings.

this side of paradise by lesbiseresin {E}

“I don’t know if I should–” “Why shouldn’t you?” Natasha asks, completely matter-of-fact. It’s like she’s already got a read on his bullshit, which is both endearing and unnerving, because Bradley isn’t really all that used to people not letting him run away from his problems. Or in this case, a perfectly good chance to spend some time with his friends. “Most of us flew that mission. We were all trained to. We’re in this together. Only reason Bob’s not coming is because his mom would kill him if he didn’t come home for his grandma’s birthday.” Bradley runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, but eventually can’t stop himself from asking— “What about Hangman?” (alternatively: seven thirty-something year olds holing up in a rich person’s vacation home for ten days ft. bradley trying to convince himself the crush he has on hangman is something he can easily get rid of)

Riding In Cars With Boys by SaintClaire {E}

He doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or the anniversary or something else altogether, but he usually has to wring Bradley out for a lot longer than this before he gets him begging so easily. His pretty boy, normally so reluctant to admit what it is he wants and how he wants Jake to take it.

I will love you, dear, forever by FlowersOnMyMind {E}

"Do you have someone to take care of you?" Jake asks. "Are you offering, Seresin?" "Are you asking, Bradshaw?" or Jake and Bradley help each other through their ruts and heats. Jake pines.

Rolling Hills and Stormy Skies by VarjoRuusu {E}

Everyone thinks Jake Seresin is from Texas. Something he doesn't bother to correct, he just enjoys when his friends try and pin down exactly where his family ranch is, north, south, it's near Dallas, no it's near Austin. He sips his beer and lets them guess until the topic changes. He elbows Rooster in the side when the other man can't stop snickering because only Rooster knows Jake Seresin's ranch is in Montana. -Or, a tale of Bradley and Jake.

all night, I’ll riot with you by lesbiseresin {E}

Bradley would really like to say that Hangman is the one who started it. It being their return to petty squabbling, starting straight from the moment they first came face-to-face with each other for the first time in years. But to tell the truth, he’s not sure of how true that claim would be.

First Love/Late Spring by HalbarryTrashcan {E}

These memories are the scenes replaying in Bradley’s mind over and over again as his plane plummets towards the earth. He always thought when he died he would be thinking about his dad or his mom - hell, given his weird and fucked-up situation with Maverick even that could have been an option. This was the last thing he expected.

Take Me Home Tonight by indybob {E}

“You’re not a pilot, are you?” Jake asks. Bradley shakes his head, “No, I’m actually an aerospace engineer, but I work for the Navy at North Island. It’s how I know Natasha.” “I figured you weren’t a pilot,” Jake says, “I would have met you before, and I don’t think I could forget a face like that.” Jake gives him a suggestive look, and Bradley realizes he’s flirting. His heart jumps at the idea, and he feels the blood rush to his face. “Is it because of the mustache?” Bradley asks, trying to play it cool. “Not just,” Jake winks. Or: AU where Bradley is an aerospace engineer who is getting back into the dating scene after a breakup. He meets Jake at a bar with Phoenix, and the sparks start flying.

You Can Make My Wish Come True, If You Let Me Treasure You by hangmanbradshaw {E}

“Jake…you know you’re my family right? If we do this, we do it together. It’s not a Bradshaw only thing.” The man blinked at him and then smiled softly. “Okay. You’re my family too so if you’re doing this, I’m riding shotgun.” Bradley nodded and grinned brightly. “Think we’ll have to fight off any zombie founding fathers brought back to life?” “I’m putting $5 on at least two. I call dibs on fighting off Franklin though.” Or, The one where, fresh off their mummy adventure, Jake and Bradley steal the Declaration of Independence, make way too many mummy related jokes, and get married, all with a little help from their friends.

Everything You Lose is a Step You Take by mackwinnon {E}

A comment from Bob turns Jake's entire world on its axis. Or: Jake thought that Bradley was just really great at handling things, unflappable and steady. It's a good thing the Navy didn't pay Jake to think.

Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away? by LoveMadeThemDoIt {E}

Jake has no illusions he’ll come back from this mission. He’s the best fighter pilot the Navy has got on staff and this is not his ego talking. He’ll fly the mission, and it’ll be a shit show, because none of them have even managed to fly the simulation in the way they need to. In his weaker moments, Jake wonders if his father is how he’s gotten this gig.

Two Times The Love by Leavemeinthelibrary {E}

Maybe they were right.” Jake whispered. “When they said “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” “It wasn’t better” Bradley whispered softly, instinctively checking over his shoulder and then forced Jake to meet his gaze. “Trust me.” Bradley sighed. “It wasn’t easy for my dads or their time in the Navy or me. The policy was wrong, plain and simple and I was happy to see it go.” Jake swallowed hard in disbelief. “Your dads? As in more than one?”

jet blue skies by winterbucky {M}

Neither Hangman nor Rooster have any idea how come none of their friends know they're married, and have been for years. Sure, they're not the most affectionate in public, but they're smitten with each other, and to be honest, they went at it in way too many public spaces not to be caught. Apparently, their friends and Captain are just not that bright, which turns very interesting when Rooster becomes obsessed with getting Mavering and Iceman together. Somehow, through it all, neither Hangman nor Rooster realise their marriage is somehow a secret... or secret relationship hangster but their friends are just idiots + icemav getting together + a lot of fluff

I want to brainwash you into loving me forever by hangmanbradshaw {E}

“So…this is fucking weird and I have no clue what to say here.” Bradley smiled warmly and leaned his forearms against the table. “Don’t worry, Mav already filled me in, and I’ll do it.” Jake blinked. “You’ll do it?” “Yeah.” Bradley sat back with a nod. “You want to come out, right? If us appearing to be in a stable relationship will help, then I’m in.” Or, Jake Seresin has it all- fame, money, a NFL MVP trophy, a Super Bowl appearance, a lonely house, and a problem. He wants to come out on his own terms. Enter Bradley Bradshaw, the solution to said problem, or maybe, the beginning of a new problem. After all, you don't fall in love with your fake boyfriend. aka the Fake Dating NFL AU

hold me like a grudge by lesbiseresin {M}

Whatever truce he and Hangman might’ve temporarily made on the beach still wasn’t enough for Bradley to want to hang out with the guy in his free time. Except, here he is with the Bronco pulled into one of the spaces that line the stretch of sidewalk beside Hangman’s house. He can see Hangman’s truck sitting in the driveway and the light for the living room turned on inside. Hangman is here, and so is Bradley. For what exactly, he isn’t sure. He knows he’s searching for something. An answer, maybe. Figuring that out would require thinking, which isn’t what this is supposed to be about, but the uncertainty must show on his face. Hangman opens the door without him even having to knock, eyebrows raised and the obvious question quick to come. “What are you doing here, Bradshaw?” (alternatively: in which bradley takes the phrase ‘don’t think, just do’ a little too literally)

Messy by BethAnnAngel {E}

Jake gives Bradley what he wants in bed without having to ask for it. But a lack of communication has them both lost for a moment there.

top gun missing scenes by teacupivy {E}

the whole time, under the lights

Jake "Hangman" Seresin is unraveling the mystery that is Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, one thread at a time, if it kills him. They've been fighting and fucking for years, and everything comes to a head when they're recalled to Top Gun for a special training detachment and find themselves competing to be team leader.

as he falls from his perch

Bradley Bradshaw has a knack for losing people, either watching them go or running them off. Jake Seresin seems to just keep coming back.

It's all white and azure blue to me by Aphroditedany {E}

Bradley, Jake, and an ever growing half Greek family. Or, when your boyfriend gets you all hot and bothered just by speaking in the language of his maternal family.

spend my time trying not to feel it by lesbiseresin {M}

“There was a flier for what their upcoming events are. You know Halloween is on Thursday.” Fanboy waits for him to nod to go on. “They’re doing something every night this week. Different themes on different nights.” Bradley raises his eyebrows. “Let me get this straight. You’re trying to drag me to a costume party?” (alternatively: halloween, a gay bar, jake, and bradley. what could possibly be complicated about that?)

this shirts made of boyfriend material by halestrom {E}

A night out on the town, while dressed to the nines, sounded like the perfect way to have a little bit of fun and spend time with the newly formed Dagger squadron before they were back on duty. Especially since, ever since the Mission, things between him and Hangman had changed, the anger from the years before gone, and in its place was the promise of something new, or perhaps, the promise of something that had started forming long before Bradley was willing to admit.

cuz you know I love the players and you love the game by hangmanbradshaw {E}

Jake's the star quarterback, Bradley's the star baseball captain. They both like playing games, turns out they want the same prize. Or Bradley dresses as a cheerleader for the team and Jake hates him (except that he totally doesn't)

here i stand (i'm your man) by magdarko {M}

Ever since that first night back after the mission, when Jake had cornered him out behind the Hard Deck and grinned winningly before dropping to his knees and making Bradley see God, all Bradley’s wanted is to lay Jake out, map out that golden body, store up Jake’s gasps and moans and soft, bitten-off words. Bradley has a good thing going with Jake, but deep down, he wants more. So when everything he wanted drops into his lap, it's the best thing that's ever happened to him. Right?

Are you ready, are you ready for love? by Ilarina {E}

Bradley had, deep down, loved the dance between rivals that they had maintained for years, ever since the naval academy. After flying, there was nothing that made him feel more alive than talking to Jake and bickering with him about everything. He knew they were like two sides of the same coin - Bradley methodical and calm, Jake cocky and quick - and the awareness of how much he made Jake alive had come to him on a silver platter with a last-ditch save and a pair of bright green eyes smiling happily at him from a plane hovering next to him. No further demonstration was needed for Bradley to realize that Jake felt the same feelings that he, for years, had tried to bury under their jokes, the looks and the tension that enveloped them like a bubble. He had rushed to save him, disobeying a direct superior order and risking his career for him – he might as well have shouted that he loved him by writing it in the sky with airplane acrobatics. Well, he pretty much had done it. [Bradley and Jake are finally a couple. But there is something else that Bradley wants to give to the man he loves]

Weekend Trip by AllForReading {E}

Jake's first weekend with Bradley in the Mitchell-Kazansky house. It's chaos and banter and maybe also a bit embarrassing but they nevertheless can't leave their hands off each other.

i've got a blank space (i'll write your name) by halestrom {E}

Bradley just wants to find love. Jake is his divorce lawyer.

Maybe We Were Always Meant To Be by indybob {E}

“And since my flight got rerouted I have to stay at a hotel nearby. It’s supposed to be a nice one at least.” Jake sounds a bit on the annoyed side considering he’s going to be stuck at a hotel for his entire leave, and Bradley can’t say he blames him. The idea of Jake having to live out of a hotel doesn’t sit right with Bradley. It sounds just as boring and lonely as it’s been for him alone in his house. He’d hate for his friend to go through that for two weeks. The perfect solution suddenly dawns on him. At least, it’s perfect logically, but in reality, it’s probably a terrible idea. Oh well. He’s got to jump off the perch sometime, right? “What if you come stay with me?” Or: Two boys. Two weeks. One everlasting love.

Hold me closer, tiny dancer by Ilarina {E}

Bradley loved Jake, and it had been such a quick and ordinary process that he didn’t even feel the panic that perhaps he should have felt at that realization. It was insane how the boundaries between them had been torn down, how what was once thought to be hate or aversion was simply a safe way to be close to each other without putting themselves on the line all the way – insane for two pilots who risked their lives in the sky every day. In the following six weeks since the Mission, Bradley had learned to accept the love he had never thought he deserved in his life. And the source of this solid love was the man who at that moment was arranging pots and dishes in his kitchen. His boyfriend. [five times Bradley wants Jake to live with him and one time he finally manages to ask him]

when we hit the ground by dracculaura {E}

Bradley doesn’t ever plan to see Jake Seresin again, had written off their one night as just that – a one-time only thing. If he were in the habit of kissing and telling, it would even be a fun story about that time he got fucked by a professional bull rider.

I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me by Ilarina {E}

“Try not to miss me too much, Roo,” Jake stated with his usual self-confidence, his Texan accent entering Bradley’s ears like warm, liquid honey. Bradley snorted an exasperated breath on his skin and rolled his eyes, his mustache curling in a mock-irritated expression. “You’d like that, babe. I don’t think I’ll even have time to miss you... life here in San Diego will go on without you, you know?” Bradley replied, his fingers caressing Jake’s smooth cheek, soaked in his aftershave and soft as velvet. A low chuckle spread from Jake’s chest at those words, like the little rumble of a perfect plane about to take flight. “We’ll see how your life has gone when I get back on Thursday night,” Jake said, his jade green eyes looking straight into Bradley’s chocolate ones as if there was nothing else in the world at that moment except the two of them, standing at five in the morning next to Jake’s car. [Jake goes back to Lemoore for a few days, and that pushes Bradley to really think about their relationship and their love]

for real? by teacupivy {E}

“Hey Siri, set a timer for ten minutes,” then to Bradley, hands on his thick hips, “I really gotta go after—“ “Don’t care.” Bradley wrenches a hand into Jake’s hair to pull him into a bruising kiss, the other now moving more firmly in his pants. or: Jake gets an idea, and it ends with tears, begging, and a love confession

Caught by the taste of your kiss by FlowersOnMyMind {E}

"You put on quite a show." "Yeah, it's kinda what I do." "And what else do you do?" Jake asks with a grin. He sees Bradley's eyes flick down to his lips. Or For Jake Seresin AKA Hangman, life was good. He was the leader of the most feared gang in LA. He had money and could have anyone he wanted in his bed. What more could he want? The answer comes in the form of Bradley Bradshaw.

hit me with your best shot by hangmanbradshaw {E}

There's a reason Jake hates mob cases, a fact only proven further when his car breaks down less than 24 hours in. The last thing he needs is a complication in the form of Bradley Bradshaw, a mechanic wrapped up in the organization he's investigating. But sometimes love is driving off the metaphorical cliffside together to Pat Benatar. Or Jake's an FBI Agent who always gets his man, Bradley's the Auto Repair Shop Owner who doesn't need saving, and they finally meet their match in each other.