#maybe i Should listen to it all the way through
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honourablejester · 1 day ago
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So it's not that authors consciously believe that crusades were good - they just took all the 18th-19th century glorifying poetry and applied it to a fictional world, or maybe just took the mythology of a just war of absolute good versus absolute evil. Or maybe they want to play a wilderness campaign with added chivalric theme and that's the first framing they thought about.
It doesn't matter. What matters is that sometimes we get works that glorify fictional crusaders, through this glorify real crusaders and then help fash to mask their intentions. It's also not like a crime in itself - nobody is going to jail for accidentally writing a work about noble knights waging a war against some absolute evil in a way that resembles crusades. But it has to be avoided and dealt with when created.
But what does that mean? ‘It has to be avoided and dealt with when created’. Do you genuinely mean just not portray crusades, holy wars, good vs evil, at all? Because otherwise what do you mean ‘avoid and deal with’ it?
Because people will use literally anything to forward their cause, no matter the intent of its authors or the internal resemblance to said cause. There are rabid nationalists who use Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born in the USA’ as a rallying cry despite the fact that any clear-headed listen to the song would show that it’s very much not that. So is the answer here that no one play that song again? That he shouldn’t have written it in the first place?
I don’t think that censorship, or self-censorship in anticipation of potential reactions, is the answer to defeating propaganda. I don’t think that we can or should just make whole areas of history or means of expression taboo to try and avoid them being co-opted. Because all that means is that no one ever learns about or questions those areas of history. Or questions themselves about those areas of history.
The crusades were a massively complicated, centuries long period of history involving several cultures, religions, and a whole host of varied motivations among every side involved, with the end result of centuries of warfare. There were ‘good’ and ‘evil’ people on all sides. There was false piety and genuine belief, there was rampant opportunism, there was raw imperialistic greed disguised as moral piety. Different crusades had different causes and different results, were enacted by different players. It was complicated, and fascinating, and educational, and it deserves to be examined, from any number of angles.
A piece of work going ‘if the thing they said they believed was happening, that a force of evil was attacking something precious, was what was happening, would it have justified what they did?’ and then taking the time to play that out and entertain nuance and come to various conclusions, that work is more valuable to me than …
I mean, what’s the alternative? No work at all? Nobody ever questioning the fascist portrayal of events?
The burden is on the audience to examine what the work says, what the work thinks it says, what other people are saying about the work, and, on the balance of evidence, who the audience then thinks is right, if anyone is, and to what extent. You don’t defeat propaganda by telling people not to look at things. You defeat propaganda by telling people to think about everything they look at. The fascists can ‘claim’ whatever the fuck they want. That doesn’t mean it actually belongs to them.
Yes, certain topics are going to attract more nazis. And yes, that means people who want to explore those topics for other reasons need to be on the look out for said nazis. But it doesn’t mean that that topic should never be mentioned again. Because that lets them claim it. Lets their stories be the only stories about it.
Generalisations do not help. Taboos do not help. Censorship does not help.
Let people write whatever the fuck they want. In whatever cause they want. And then just question all of it. And teach other people to question all of it.
kind of concerning how married the fantasy genre is to "crusades as a basically good thing"
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galaxy-stardust · 2 days ago
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Simon Ghost Riley x you
He teaches you the language of his work
You sat cross-legged on the bed, watching as Simon cleaned his gear with practiced precision. The way his hands moved—effortless, efficient, lethal—had always fascinated you. Tonight, though, you wanted more than just to watch.
“Teach me,” you said suddenly.
Simon glanced up from his work, an eyebrow raised. “Teach you what, love?”
You gestured toward the radio earpiece resting on the nightstand. “Your language. The stuff you and the team say during missions. It sounds like code, but I want to understand.”
Simon leaned back slightly, arms crossing over his chest as he studied you. “Why?”
You shrugged. “Because it’s part of you. And I want to know every part of you.”
His expression softened just a little before he shook his head, smirking. “Alright. Let’s see what you can handle.”
He picked up his radio, flicking a switch before tapping the side of it. “First thing—comms check. We always confirm we’re on the same channel before anything else. So if I say, ‘Check, one-two,’ you say…?”
“Uh… Check, three-four?” you guessed, grinning.
Simon huffed a laugh. “Smartass. You’d say, ‘Loud and clear.’”
You nodded, filing that away. “Got it. What else?”
He set the radio down, eyes glinting. “Breach and clear?”
You thought for a moment. “Going in and making sure the area’s safe?”
“Good girl.”
The praise sent a shiver down your spine, but you bit your lip, staying focused. “What about ‘Oscar Mike’? I’ve heard you say that one.”
Simon smirked. “Means ‘on the move.’”
“Okay,” you nodded. “And what about ‘RTB’?”
“Return to base.”
Your eyes lit up. “See? I’m getting it.”
He hummed, clearly amused. “You are. Alright, one more. ‘Sitrep.’”
You tilted your head. “That’s like… an update on the situation, right?”
Simon’s smirk widened. “Look at you, pickin’ things up quick.”
You felt a warm flutter of pride in your chest. “Maybe I should join your team.”
Simon’s expression darkened instantly. “No.” His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument.
You blinked. “I was joking, Simon.”
His jaw clenched, and he exhaled through his nose, running a hand through his hair. “I know. But I don’t like hearin’ it. Don’t want you anywhere near that life.”
The intensity in his voice sent a different kind of shiver through you—not fear, but something deeper. Possessiveness. Protection.
You reached out, fingers tracing his forearm. “I just want to understand you better. That’s all.”
Simon’s eyes softened, his fingers curling over yours. “You already do.”
There was a pause, thick with tension, before his smirk returned. “But since you’re so keen on learnin’, let’s see how well you follow orders.”
You arched a brow. “Orders?”
Simon leaned in, voice dropping to a low, teasing rasp. “How about this, love—‘assume the position.’”
Your breath hitched, heat rushing through you. “And what exactly does that mean?”
Simon smirked, his hands sliding to your waist as he flipped you onto your stomach in one swift motion. He leaned over you, his lips brushing your ear.
“Means you listen, you obey… and you don’t ask questions.”
Lesson learned.
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steddieas-shegoes · 3 days ago
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because it's yours
for @steddielovemonth using the quote prompt: "If there is love, smallpox scars are as pretty as dimples. I'd love your face no matter what it looks like. Because it's yours." - Stephen King
rated t | 1250 words | no cw | tags: post-vecna, eddie munson lives, pre-relationship, injury recovery, first kiss, getting together
▪️◾▪️◾▪️◾▪️◾▪️◾▪️◾▪️◾▪️
Eddie’s not allowed visitors in the hospital, at least according to Wayne and Hopper. It’s for his own safety, they say.
Steve knows that’s partially bullshit. He’s good at sensing bullshit. But he plays along anyway, convinces the kids to just visit Max and they’ll plan a welcome home party for Eddie when he’s released. It gets harder by the day, especially when all the news they hear is that Eddie is healing well and should be good to go home even sooner than they thought.
No one tells them when he’s released.
Steve only finds out because he walks by the room Eddie’s been in, and instead of the door being closed, it’s wide open. There’s unfamiliar voices coming from the room. It could be doctors or nurses, but something makes him pause and peek in the doorway.
It’s an older woman and what appears to be her adult children, all of them having a very serious conversation about how she needs to be more careful while gardening.
Steve leaves before he’s caught eavesdropping.
He considers stopping by Dustin’s, see if he’s heard the news. Maybe the kids found out first.
Who is Steve to Eddie really?
Just because they gave each other looks and flirted a little and Steve carried him out of the Upside Down and-
He swallows the hurt and decides to go straight to Wayne’s new trailer. It’s just outside of town, easy to get to even with the damage done by the cracks. He’s been there a few times to check on him, even helped him set up his cable.
When Wayne opens the door, Steve knows something is off.
He doesn’t invite him in. Instead, he steps onto the porch and closes the door behind him. He gives Steve an awkward smile instead of his usual warm, comforting one.
“Is he home?” Steve asks.
“He’s sleeping,” Wayne allows. “He’s still recovering.”
“Do the kids know he’s home?”
“Son, he-“
“Why is he hiding? Everyone’s worried and just wants to make sure he’s okay. No one would keep him from resting!” Steve hates that his voice pitches higher. His hands are shaking. He’s never spoken to an adult he respects like this. “We just wanna know he’s safe.”
“He is.” Wayne sighs. “I told that boy no one was gonna stay away for long. He insisted everyone would forget him. I said no. He didn’t listen.”
Steve’s eyes dart over to the window he knows goes to Eddie’s bedroom. He’d been the one to help set it up when Wayne moved in.
“Can I please see him? I’ll be quick. I won’t even tell the kids yet. I just need to see,” Steve begs. “Please, Wayne.”
Wayne wordlessly opens the door and gestures for Steve to come inside.
He leads him to Eddie’s room, reminding him with a look to be quiet and not wake him up. Steve gives an understanding nod and walks into the room.
There’s sunlight sneaking through the blackout curtains, just enough to light up the bed that Eddie’s already wide awake in. Steve can’t help the smile blooming on his face.
Eddie looks scared, though.
His eyes are wide, and he’s pulled himself to the farthest corner of the queen sized bed. His hair’s a mess, proof that he probably was asleep just before Steve got here.
“Hey, Eddie,” Steve waves. He doesn’t come any closer to the bed. “I just wanted to get eyes on you. Feeling alright?”
Wayne’s standing in the doorway behind Steve, probably trying to determine if he needs to step in or ride this out. If Eddie asks, Steve will leave. He doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.
“What’re you doing here?” Eddie asks.
Steve watches the way his jaw moves around the words, how his mouth twists differently, like it’s taking more effort to talk. The scar going across his cheek, up into his temple, and down to his neck seems to be the cause of it. It’s still an angry red, stitches visible in some places where the bites must’ve been deeper.
He walks forward slowly. Eddie doesn’t stop him. Neither does Wayne.
The scar is big. It’ll always be big, though Steve has plenty of experience with scars and knows it’ll fade into a paler pink than it currently is. It’ll be a reminder, every day, of how he almost died. Eddie will have this memory every time he looks in the mirror, every time his own fingers brush against the ridged skin.
Steve cups the side of Eddie’s face that’s scarless.
Eddie gulps.
“Is this why you didn’t want anyone to visit?” He whispers.
Eddie doesn’t answer, but his eyes closing and head tilting down is answer enough.
“Eddie, look at me.”
Eddie opens his eyes.
“Do you really think a scar could scare any of us away? After how we found you, a scar is the least of our worries. You don’t have to hide from us.”
Steve’s not sure if Wayne’s still standing in the doorway, too focused on the way Eddie’s holding his gaze now. He’s lost weight and he’s still pale, but he’s alive. He’s still beautiful.
Maybe even more now.
“You’re alive. Everyone just wants you alive.”
“I’m gonna look even weirder now,” Eddie rasps out. Steve wonders if there’s damage to his throat, something his voice may never recover from entirely.
“I dunno. I think it’s pretty badass. Since when do you care about looking weird, anyway?” Steve smirks. “The Eddie Munson I know would find a new ridiculous story to tell every time he’s asked about something this cool.”
“I was leaning towards making people believe I got in a fight with a dragon,” Eddie shrugs one shoulder. His cheeks are red, warm underneath Steve’s touch.
“And won.”
Eddie leans his head forward, resting his forehead against Steve’s. “Of course I won. A knight in shining armor saved me.”
“You saved everyone else first. Don’t forget that part of the story,” Steve reminds him.
“A hero’s brave sacrifice…” Eddie mumbles. Steve chuckles. “Maybe true love’s kiss?”
“Isn’t that supposed to break a curse?” Steve whispers, suddenly nervous about all the times they flirted before. Flirting is harmless until it’s not.
“You’re right. In this case, it’s the curse of never kissing a nice guy.”
“And you think I can break that curse?”
“Can’t hurt to try.”
It’s a little awkward at first, mostly because parts of Eddie’s jaw are still numb from nerve damage and moving in certain ways is difficult. But once Steve adjusts, and they both giggle against each others’ lips, it’s easy. They fit.
Eddie tries to deepen the kiss, but he is still healing, and he has to pull away when his stitches tug painfully.
“Your battle scars won’t matter to any of us. They damn sure don’t make you less beautiful to me. Everyone misses you,” Steve rubs his arm, the one with no visible bandages. “Can I at least bring Dustin over later? Let him see that you’re actually alive and the hospital and government haven’t been lying?”
“Is that what everyone thinks?”
“You have to remember we’ve been through this a lot. Hopper was dead until he wasn’t. Anything can be faked.”
“That’s reassuring,” Eddie groans. “Yeah. Bring everyone by tomorrow. I’ll even shower.”
Steve kisses the top of his head. “Do you need help?”
“With showering? I just might, big boy.”
The way Eddie smiles is different now, but Steve loves it all the same.
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cressidagrey · 3 days ago
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The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 1
Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)
Summary:
Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.
Warnings and Notes: 
Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.
As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble
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The smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the cozy café, the kind of place that hummed with quiet conversations and the occasional clatter of ceramic cups. Lizzie sat in the corner, tucked into her usual spot by the window,  her mind was elsewhere.
The Laptop was open, her fingers hovering over the keyboard, but the words…the words refused to come. 
Instead, she sipped at her now lukewarm tea, absentmindedly, running her fingers through Mara’s soft fur. Mara’s chocolate coloured head was resting on Lizzie’s knee, watching her, her tail rhythmically thumping against the floor. 
They often came here..nearly every day, to be exact. 
Elizabeth Treshton’s life was built around her routine after all. 
She knew the exact number of steps from her apartment to the cozy coffee shop on the corner. She knew the best seat—by the window, tucked away, where Mara could curl up at her feet while she wrote. And she knew the barista always had her order memorized: earl grey tea with a dash of milk, one sugar, and a small bowl of water for Mara.
They knew them both. They knew not to bother Mara while working, even when it looked like the dog wasn’t working. She was. 
Mara told Lizzie when her body once again decided that having seizures was something it should do and then stayed with her through the whole…shitty ordeal that were said epileptic seizures. 
Still, they thrived on their usual routine. And they hadn’t been able to have that for weeks, because Lizzie had been busy with all the publicity surrounding An Autumn of Flames and Stone and the fact that her little book had reached No. 1 of the New York Times Bestselling list. 
Which meant…that she now got to write the last book in the Seasons of Fate Series…Something that she never thought she would get to do. 
This had been her dream since she was a child…and now…now she finally got to do this. This was her job! Her dream job!
And if this chapter was finally going to start going her way, then maybe Lizzie would be feeling like she actually knew what she was doing too. 
Just at that moment, Mara suddenly lifted her head, ears alert and then stood. Lizzie’s pulse spiked. She waited with baited breath for Mara to tell her that another seizure was incoming, even when Lizzie couldn’t feel anything yet. 
“Mara?” Lizzie murmured, feeling her stomach knot.
Her service dog didn’t react to her voice. Instead, Mara’s attention was locked on something—or someone—across the café. 
Lizzie turned just in time to see Mara move.
Straight toward a guy at the counter.
“Mara, heel!” Lizzie called, already pushing back her chair, heart pounding.
But Mara wasn’t listening.
Mara always listened. Lizzie had not once been in this situation. 
Mara was always well behaved. Mara had been trained so well that this was nothing Lizzie had ever needed to worry about…but apparently that day Mara had decided that her time as picture-perfect seizure dog was over and instead she would run across the cafe, straight to random guy…
The guy turned just as Mara reached him. He was tall, wearing a hoodie pulled up over messy brown curls, and he looked as confused as Lizzie felt when Mara pressed her nose against his hand.
“Oh,” he said, blinking down at her. “Uh. Hi?”
Lizzie practically skidded to a stop beside them. “I’m so sorry—she doesn’t normally—”
And then she got a proper look at him.
Her brain stuttered.
Because that wasn’t just any guy in a hoodie.
That was Lando Norris.
Formula 1 driver. Twitch streamer. Walking, talking social media chaos generator.
She knew who he was. Of course, she bloody knew who he was. 
They were literally in Woking. A stone thrown away from the McLaren Technology Center. 
And even if Lizzie hadn’t grown up seemingly right next to the headquarters of a Formula 1 racing team, she still would have grown up as the daughter of a man that believed that Formula 1 was just as important on Sundays as church services were. 
Her dad was the original F1 fan and Lizzie had easily inherited his love for the sport. 
So to say that she was…a little bit starstruck, because there was Lando freaking Norris standing in front of her, holding a  coffee cup in one hand, a half-eaten croissant in the other, looking between Lizzie and Mara with increasing confusion, was an understatement
“So, uh.” Lando tilted his head. “What’s happening?”
Lizzie swallowed hard, her mind racing. “She’s a service dog,” she managed, her voice tight. “She only does that when—”
Mara insistently pushed her nose against Lando’s hand again. When he didn’t react she started to headbutt his thigh aggressively. 
The realization slammed into Lizzie with the force of a freight train. Mara had alerted to him.
Lando still looked baffled, shifting slightly like he wasn’t sure what to do. “Is—uh—is she okay?”
Lizzie swallowed hard. “I—I think she’s actually asking you that.”
His brow furrowed, then a flicker of something passed over his face. A split-second of realization. “Oh.”
Lizzie watched as Lando’s hand curled slightly, his fingers flexing like he was suddenly hyper-aware of his own body.
“Do you feel off?” she asked, voice softer now. “Lightheaded? Dizzy? Aura?”
His lips parted like he wanted to argue—but then he hesitated. “I mean… I was feeling a bit weird this morning.”
Mara let out another small whine, nosing at his wrist.
Lizzie exhaled sharply. “You need to sit down.”
“I’m fine—”
“Sit. Down. And drink some water, for god’s sake.”
He blinked at her in mild shock, but something in her tone must’ve struck him because he moved, letting her guide him to an empty table.
Lizzie crouched next to him, all business now. “Do you have any underlying medical issues? Mara was trained to alert to my Epilepsy. Have you ever had a seizure?!”
Lando shook his head. “No, nothing like that. But—” He ran a hand through his hair. “I do get migraines sometimes. And sometimes before I get one, things feel… off.”
Oh. 
Lizzie sat back on her heels. “Then she probably picked up on that.”
Lando looked down at Mara, who had now settled next to him, still watching carefully.
“Is this—normal?” he asked.
“For her, yeah.” Lizzie scratched the back of her neck. “She’s trained to detect seizures, but she picks up on other stuff too. She’s never alerted to someone else before, though.”
Lando let out a short laugh, like he wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned. “Huh. Well, I’m still here, so I think I’m good,” he finally said and Lizzie exhaled. 
“Sorry, about that,” she apologised. “She has never done that before.”
Lando grinned, slow and teasing. “Guess I’m just special, huh?” he teased. 
A pause. Then, hesitantly, Lando reached down, fingers brushing Mara’s head.
“Thanks, I guess,” he murmured. Mara’s tail gave a small, reassuring wag.
“So, like… I am not dying, right?” Lando asked her suddenly, and Lizzie let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head. 
“No. But she’s never wrong about this kind of thing.” Lizzie sighed. “Drink some water. Eat something. Just—don’t ignore it.”
Lando hummed. “Noted.” Then he tilted his head, studying her. “And you are?”
She blinked. “What?”
His smile widened. “Your name. And her name too.”
Lizzie felt warmth creep up her neck.
She bit her lip.
“I am Lizzie. That’s Mara.” 
Lando grinned, like he was committing both names to memory. “Lizzie and Mara. Got it.”
Lizzie wasn’t sure why her stomach flipped at the way he said her name, but she pushed the feeling aside. “And you’re Lando,” she said, more to ground herself than anything else.
His grin widened. “So you do know who I am.”
Lizzie scoffed. “I live in Woking. I’d have to be actively avoiding the internet to not know who you are.”
Lando let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “Fair point.” He glanced down at Mara, who had finally relaxed, still keeping a watchful eye on him. “So… does this mean I have, like, a cool dog guardian angel now?”
Lizzie rolled her eyes, though a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Only if you promise not to ignore your body when it’s telling you something’s wrong.”
He hummed, tapping his fingers against the table. “Noted.”
The café felt warmer than it had before as they looked at each other. Lizzie, still crouched next to Lando and Mara. The air between them felt charged, and Lizzie was suddenly reminded of a fact she had never forgotten: Lando Norris was unfairly attractive.
"So...are you here often or was today my lucky day?"
She blinked at him, caught slightly off guard by the question. “I—uh. Yeah. I’m here most days.”
Lando nodded like that was exactly the answer he was hoping for. “Cool. I might have to come by more often then.”
Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “Because of the coffee? Or because of the dog that just diagnosed you?”
He smirked. “Both. And maybe because the company’s not bad either.”
She stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was actually flirting or just naturally charming. Either way, it was… a lot.
Lando hesitated, then scratched the back of his neck. “Look, this might be weird, but—can I give you my number?”
Lizzie’s brain stalled. “What?”
His grin turned a little sheepish. “I mean, you know, in case Mara ever wants to check in on me again. Or, uh, if you ever want to.”
Lizzie exhaled a laugh, shaking her head. “That was smooth.”
“I try,” he said, dimples on full display.
Lizzie couldn’t help the smile tugging at her lips, part amused and part baffled at the whole situation. She had gone from sitting in her usual spot, writing away in her notebook as Mara dozed by her feet to now crouching next to a Formula 1 driver giving her his number. What sort of alternate universe was this?
She hesitated, but then Mara nudged her hand, like she was making the decision for her. Lizzie huffed, pulled out her phone, and slid it across the table. “Fine. But if you start texting me memes at 2 AM, I’m blocking you.”
Lando chuckled, tapping in his number before handing it back. “No promises.”
Lizzie glanced down at the contact name he’d put in: Lando ‘Not Dying (Yet)’ Norris.
She sighed. “You’re impossible.”
Lando shot her a cheeky grin as he got to his feet. “It’s part of the charm.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes, the smile stubbornly clinging to her face. It only widened when Lando bent down to say a quick goodbye to Mara, who promptly licked his hand in response.
Lizzie shook her head, but she couldn’t quite fight back her smile. “Come on, Mara. Let’s go before you decide to start diagnosing other random strangers too.”
As she walked away, Lando called after her, voice warm with amusement. “See you around, Lizzie.”
She didn’t look back—but her stupid smile stayed all the way home.
***
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***
The morning air was crisp, the kind of early autumn chill that made your breath curl in the air but wasn’t quite cold enough for a proper coat. The park was quiet, save for the occasional jogger or dog walker, the golden sunlight filtering through the trees.
Lando arrived a few minutes early—not that he was eager or anything. He just… didn’t want to be late. Which was not the same as being eager.
He shifted on his feet, hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie. He wasn’t nervous. Not really. Okay, maybe a little.
It wasn’t a date. Not officially. Just a walk. With a girl. A very cute girl. Who had a dog that might have magical powers if yesterday was anything to go by.
He heard her before he saw her—the sound of Mara’s paws on the pavement, the soft jingle of her collar. Then—
“Morning,” Lizzie said, smiling as she approached. She had a bright red scarf wrapped around her neck, her dark hair pulled up into a messy bun, and Mara trotted happily at her side.
Lando tried not to notice how good she looked or how her smile lit up her face. He was cool. He was casual. He wasn’t a blushing teenager getting flustered over a girl.
He failed utterly.
Lando exhaled, grinning back. “Hey. You actually showed up.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of amusement in her expression. Mara padded over and sniffed at Lando’s hand, her tail wagging excitedly.
“As if you weren’t expecting me to,” she said, eyes glittering with humor. “Did you really think I’d ditch you?”
Yes. Yes, he had. 
“I dunno. Maybe you’d wake up and realize agreeing to go on a walk with a random guy from a coffee shop was a terrible idea.” 
Lizzie laughed, the sound surprisingly musical. “It probably was. But you’ve got Mara’s seal of approval, so you can’t be too dangerous, right?”
She glanced down at Mara, who panted happily up at Lando, as if in agreement.
"Can I touch her?" he asked carefully. "I should have asked yesterday, I am sorry." He may had spent too much time yesterday reading up on Service Dogs. And what exactly they did for their handlers, especially if they had handlers that had epilepsy like Lizzie had.
Lizzie smiled, her expression softening. “It’s okay. I know it’s not exactly common knowledge.” She nodded. “You can touch her. She’s off-duty right now, so you’re good.”
Lando crouched down, holding a hand out, allowing Mara to sniff him. When she didn’t shrink away, he cautiously patted her on the head. Her fur was silky-smooth to the touch.
"Hello Mara," he greeted her. "I even brought  Peanut Butter for my saviour.”
He probably shouldn't have said that. At the sound of these two words Mara suddenly perked up, immediately sat down before Lando’s feet.
“You shouldn’t say the magic words unless you plan to give some to her right at that exact moment,” Lizzie said drily.
Lando laughed in surprise, looking down at Mara as she sat there, looking up at him expectantly. “She is serious about peanut butter, huh?”
He pulled the jar out of his pocket, unscrewing the cap before holding it out for Mara to sniff. She stuck her nose in it, tail wagging furiously.
“I think she approves,” he said, watching as Mara licked at the peanut butter.
Only after she had been allowed to stick her snout in there for a full 5 seconds was Mara ready to continue their walk. 
“So, how’s the head?” Lizzie asked, tilting her head toward him.
“Better. I took something last night before it got too bad and slept it off.” He glanced down at Mara. “Not sure I would’ve done that if someone hadn’t warned me.”
Lizzie hummed. “She’s good at her job. Even when she has never alerted to somebody else before.” 
Lando tried not to let that go straight to his ego. Tried.
Lando tried to sound casual as he spoke, but couldn’t quite hold back a hint of satisfaction. "I guess that means I’m extra special, then?"
Lizzie raised an eyebrow at that, but there was a laugh in her eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head.”
He chuckled, shoving his hands back in his pockets. “Yeah, too late for that.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, just walking together, the sound of the leaves crunching under their feet and Mara’s paws filling the air.
“So, what do you do, exactly?” Lando asked, trying to shift the conversation somewhere less awkward. Though he was pretty sure that the abrupt topic change was not gonna help at all. 
Lizzie smirked. “You mean besides walk dogs?” she joked. 
“Yeah. You know, because you know what I do” He gestured at himself dramatically, trying to be playful. “It’s not fair that you are the big mystery.”
Lizzie laughed and shoook her head. “It’s not fair,” she agreed. “I write books.”
Lando blinked. “What kind of books?” he asked, his curiousity piqued. 
“Romantasy,” Lizzie answered, watching him closely, waiting for a reaction.
What? 
Lando frowned. “Like… romance and fantasy?” Was that a thing?
“Exactly.”
“Is that, like, dragons? Or is it—”
“Faes,” Lizzie supplied. “And magic, and epic love stories, and usually some kind of dramatic war.”
Lando’s eyes widened as she talked, the concept of 'romantasy' sinking in. “Wow. So, like… magic powers and romance and all that good stuff?”
Lizzie nodded, a faint smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “Pretty much. And there’s always a bit of adventure thrown in for good measure.”
Lando thought for a moment, picturing tales of epic battles and star-crossed lovers. It sounded…. Nice.
“You write those books that people fight over on the internet, don’t you?” he asked. Because he was pretty sure he had seen things about Morally grey love interests and a enemies-to-lovers arc and people fighting with other people about which fictional man was hotter. 
Lizzie’s smile widened, her eyes glittering with humour. “Guilty as charged. I write the books that people have passionate debates over online. The ones where people are way too invested in the love triangle and have very strong opinions about which fictional man is hotter.”
His brows shot up. “Wait—are you, like, famous?”
She shrugged. “Depends on who you ask.”
Lando narrowed his eyes, then pulled out his phone and started typing.
Lizzie swatted at his arm. “Are you Googling me?”
“Uh, yeah?”
"What are you evening googling? Lizzie Romantasy?" she asked him with a snort. "You probably won't find me. Try Elizabeth Treshton."
The results for 'Elizabeth Treshton' appeared on the screen, and he scrolled through for a moment, articles and book covers, reviews and interviews popping up.
A moment later he got his answer.
"You sold millions of books."
Lando stared at Lizzie with a mixture of incredulity and awe. "I think that counts as famous."
Lizzie shrugged. “And yet, my dog still expects me to carry her up the stairs when she’s being lazy.”
Mara wagged her tail like she agreed.
Lando laughs, shaking his head. “I have a feeling Mara has you wrapped around her paw.”
She hummed in agreement, her hand going to the end of Mara's leash as the dog stopped to sniff at a tree.
“I swear, she knows exactly how cute she is and uses it to her advantage.”
Lando slipped his phone back into his pocket, shaking his head. “That’s actually really cool. How’d you get into it?”
Lizzie hesitated, then exhaled. “I have epilepsy. Had a lot of seizures when I was younger, which meant a lot of time in hospitals. You get really bored after a while.” She snorted. “So, I kept busy. Told myself stories, read, learned to crochet. But writing stuck. Studied English lit at uni, got a publishing deal right after. I was really lucky.”
Lando nodded. “That’s kinda sick, actually. You get to make stuff up for a living.”
Lizzie chuckled. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.” She glanced at him. “What about you? What’s it like, racing cars all day?”
He grinned. “Honestly? A lot more boring than you’d think.”
Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “You drive 300 kilometers an hour for a living.”
“Yeah, but I also stare at spreadsheets for hours. It’s not all fast cars and cheering crowds.”
“I mean, if you didn’t look at data, I think there would be bigger problems,” Lizzie said, teasing.
He rolled his eyes. “I do look at it, I promise.”
“So, how’d you end up doing that?”
“My mum tried to get me into horses—wasn’t into it. But I wanted to drive. Did quad biking, motorcycle riding… then my dad took me to a kart race, and that was it.”
“That’s sweet. My dad and I have watched F1 together since I was a kid," Lizzie said with a grin.
Lando glanced at her. “Really? That’s awesome. So, are you, like, one of those people who actually knows what’s going on during a race?”
Lizzie grinned. “You’re just mad because I probably know more than you.”
“Impossible,” Lando said, acting affronted. “I drive the car, I know what I’m doing.”
Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “Do you, though?”
He gaped at her. “I can’t believe you just questioned my driving skills.”
She just laughed. “I can’t drive at all, you know.”
“I can teach you,” he offered immediately.
She laughed. “I am legally not allowed to get behind the wheel,” Lizzie told him drily. “Epilepsy, you know. If I get a seizure while driving, I would accidentally murder people,”
“That sucks,” Lando said quietly.
“It’s just one of those things you get used to. You get used to not having control over that part of your life.”
Lando felt a pang of sympathy. “That must be tough.”
Lizzie shrugged. “It is, sometimes. But Mara’s a huge help. And I get by.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Lando said, glancing down at the dog, who was happily leading the way once again.
Lizzie smiled. “She’s the best. And it’s not all bad. Gives me more time to write, at least.”
Lando grinned. “I’m definitely interested in reading some of your work now.”
She laughed. “You are aware that they are all like 500 pages, right?”
Lando groaned dramatically. “You’re telling me you’ve published multiple million-selling books, and they’re all doorstoppers?”
"I am a wordy person, you know," Lizzie shot back.
Lando groaned again, but he smiled, too. “You’re making me work for it here.”
Lizzie just shrugged, her mouth curving into a smirk. “You’re just going to have to deal with it.”
” Lando grinned, already planning his next move. “Alright, super important question,” he said, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket.
Lizzie raised a brow. “Oh?”
“Who’s your favorite F1 driver?”
She let out a soft laugh. “You really want to know?”
Lando nodded, deadly serious. “This is crucial information. Make or break.”
She laughed, a strand of dark chocolate brown hair escaping her bun. 
“My dad is a die hard Ferrari fan,” she told him. “Seriously. Like you know that quote that there are only two religions in Italy, Catholicism and Ferrari? That’s pretty much my dad,” she said with a shake of her heard. “So for him it was always Schumacher…
As they strolled through the park, Mara trotting ahead with her nose to the ground, Lando shot Lizzie a sideways glance.
Lizzie hummed, drawing out the suspense. “When I was little, I loved Kimi Raikkonen.”
Lando groaned. “Kimi? Seriously?!?”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “You asked! I was, like, ten. You weren’t even in F1 yet.”
“Still hurts,” Lando muttered. “Alright, fine. What about now? Who’s your current favorite?”
Lizzie smirked. “Are you asking because you want me to say you?”
He feigned innocence. “Noooo… but also, yes.”
She pretended to consider. “Well, I do appreciate drivers with great car control and a smooth racing style.”
Lando’s grin stretched wide. “That does sound familiar—”
“Which is why I love watching Lewis.”
Lando gasped, scandalized. “Lizzie, what the hell?”
She laughed. “What? He’s a seven-time world champion! You can’t be mad at me for that.”
“I can definitely be mad at you for that.” He shook his head in mock disappointment. “I thought we had something special.”
Lizzie smirked. “Would it make you feel better if I said you’re my favorite driver I’ve ever gone on a walk with?”
Lando narrowed his eyes at her, fighting a smile. “Barely.”
***
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sonotpattismith · 2 days ago
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let him make a woman out of me
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pairing: martial arts!sukuna x preacher's daughter!reader word count: 13.5k content: angst, religious themes, religious trauma, low-key sacrilegious at points, implied sexual harassment/abuse, mentions of miscarriage, smut, 18+ a/n: this was just supposed to be a self-defense trainer sukuna fic, but I was listening to Ethel Cain and my religious trauma jumped out idk what happened SORRY- also thank you to @yoyoheart for the inspo :')
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You had never been sure who’s wrath you feared more: your father’s, God’s, or the world that both of the aforementioned possibilities sheltered you from. Perhaps they were all one in the same, as your father lived to enforce his own version of God’s will, and the world of the small community surrounding you bent to their every whim. 
Of course, you had never been so naive as to believe there wasn’t a whole other world beyond the confines of your father’s commandments and God’s watchful eye, even though you had never seen it— a faith you had learned from the very Bible that shackled your mind— believing without seeing, the presence of the other world lingered all around without your needing to touch it to acknowledge the fact. 
None of these things though could have prepared you for the trials and temptations ahead of you; not your father’s scorn, not God’s promises, and certainly not the world that had kept you barred for so long— because you never knew this was what all these things were hiding from you.
Nothing could have prepared you for Sukuna. 
Here you were though, staring up at the martial arts gym in the middle of a city you had never known, with hopes that it would help bring you that much closer to feeling confident in the world you were always a fingertips brush away from. Second doubts were creeping into your muddled mind though, because the man emerging from the back of the gym at the sound of the front door jingling with your arrival was monstrous, unlike anything you’d ever seen before, but everything you imagined Lucifer’s deceptive beauty to be. 
He was tall, ducking his head ever-so-slightly through the archway as he took a long swig from his water jug. Even the way his long finger’s wrapped around the plastic appeared perilous, the flimsy material bending under what looked like it was supposed to be a casual grip. Tugging the wire from one of his headphones down, he raised a brow at your timid stance while leaning his hands on the front counter. 
“You my six o’clock self-defence beginner?” His question rang in your ears, making your heart pound violently against your chest. 
This was supposed to be who would be training you? He looked like the very people you were hoping to learn how to defend yourself against, what with the menacing marks that littered his otherwise captivating face. He reminded you of what the scripture had said about how even Lucifer masqueraded as an angel of light. 
“Oh, um…” Your gaze flickered, taking note of the way the sleeves of his compression shirt strained pitifully against the swell of his biceps. This man could kill you with a flick of his wrist should you make a wrong move. Twisting your fingers into the hem of your hoodie, you mustered the courage to respond to him as his brows rose in an exasperated go on expression. “You’re the… martial arts trainer?”
“There a problem with that?” The subtle edge in his tone had your breath hitching, every doubt that you were sure you had buried when you left your hometown flooding back to you. 
“No! I just…” Your anxious voice trailed, and the silence in the modestly sized gym had a premature sweat breaking out onto your neck— you were alone with this man. “Is there maybe a um… female trainer?”
His face remained intimidatingly neutral for a few seconds before the slightest of amused smirks broke the sudden tension. Pushing off the counter, he trailed around to the front, a motion that had you inching back in a manner you could only hope was subtle. Instead of stopping in front of you though, he moved past you and toward the front door. You watched with furrowed brows as he pushed it ajar before shoving the door stopper between it and the frame. 
“Look princess— this is my gym.” He explained with a resigned sigh. 
For a moment, Sukuna had contemplated rolling his eyes at your request. It wasn’t that he was offended— no, he was far too accustomed to the intimidated stares and shuffles away from his vicinity. Still, irritation was a state of second nature to him, built up over years of needing to put up with the aggravatingly shallow individuals that had plagued his life since he was a teenager and first sprouted both in size and fear factor. 
Taking a better look at you though, he had to remind himself of how he came off most times. Your comparably small frame was swallowed up by his shadow, and by the way your wide, dewy eyes darted about the gym, it told him that perhaps he needed to tone it down a notch. After all, you were a kind-looking girl all by herself in a gym with a six foot something bodybuilder who couldn’t understand it when people told him he had a perpetually murderous look in his eyes. 
Standing up once the door was successfully propped open, he made his way back over to you as you tried to conceal your shell-shocked expression. Meanwhile, the assessing glint in his ruby eyes as he dragged his gaze up and down your tense figure did nothing to ease your nerves. 
“So, no, I’m the only trainer here.” He finally continued before meeting your eyes once again. “What are you here for?”
“Um… what am I here for?”
“Why are you taking these lessons?”
 You blinked apprehensively up at him as memories of your life leading you all the way here to this stranger’s gaze flooded your mind. Gulping down the lump in your throat, you tried to straighten your posture in an attempt to appear more confident than you actually felt. 
“I want to protect myself.”
He nodded firmly at your answer, leaning his elbow against the counter. 
“And do you think anyone fucks with me?” He fought back an amused smirk watching you flinch back at his crass words. It made him wonder what the fuck you were doing here, as it was becoming abundantly clear that you were likely heavily sheltered. In his experience, girls like you always had some helicopter parents doing all the protecting for them, even at their grown ages. Your lips twitched nervously as your eyes continued to flutter up at him. “Hm?”
“No— no, I don’t think anyone… bothers you.”
“And why not?” At this point, you were almost sure he just enjoyed seeing you sweat as he continued to press with a mocking tilt of his head. Sensing your apprehension, he nodded encouragingly. “Go on, I’m a big boy— I can take it.”
“Well, you’re— y’know, tall and… big.” You weren’t sure what other term to use without flat out calling him scary, but he seemed to have understood you anyway— much to your relief. 
“So, you’re telling me you’d rather have some pipsqueak trying to teach you how to kick someone’s ass?” 
“Oh… well I guess that—”
“Oh—” The pink haired man mocked before pushing off the counter to head toward the center of the mat that was covering the majority of the gym. “Get your ass over here, we’re already running behind.”
Despite the nerves still taking hold of every inch of you, you quickly sprang into action at his command. Setting your bag down by the counter, you gave one last hesitant glance his way before tugging down the zipper of your jacket. Shrugging it off your shoulders, you were left in your long-sleeve top that, despite covering nearly every inch of you, made you feel unnecessarily exposed in his presence. You tugged at it in hopes it would stretch into a less form-fitting material as you walked to stand before him. 
“Take that off.” 
“W-What?” You stammered out, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. He jutted his chin toward you. 
“Your necklace— if it gets caught on something while training it’ll fuck up your neck. Don’t wear jewelry when you come here.”
Your fingers slowly creeped up to curl around the cross that dangled from the dainty chain around your neck. It was the one your father had gifted you after your first Communion so many years ago, and it hadn’t left your body since. With a small nod, you reached up to unhook the chain. Your fingers trembled though, slipping and sliding the hook out of your grasp as your face began to heat in embarrassment. 
“Sorry.” You attempted a nonchalant smile, but it appeared more like a grimace as you continued to struggle with the clasp. 
Sukuna watched you silently, the way your eyes wouldn’t meet his, the guilt that swam behind them as you fought to maintain your composure long enough to do what he’d asked of you. 
He had been teaching self-defence lessons for a few years now— not as long as he’d been involved in martial arts, but long enough to recognize certain cues and quirks in the people that passed through his gym. It had begun out of irritation, all the kids being brought into a martial arts class by their parents because they were getting bullied, all the women fearing the rising crime rates in this city— weak people bothered him, they pissed him off like nothing else. 
When deciding to begin teaching individual lessons geared specifically toward self-defense, Sukuna tried to tell himself that it was because he wanted at least one less wimp walking out into the world each time he finished a class— that, and the extra income certainly didn’t hurt. It was beginning, though, to teach him harsh truths about himself and about the world he had convinced himself he hated for so long. 
It was never weak people that bothered him. No, instead he was quickly coming to the startling realization that he saw himself in each frail recruit. Of course, it was never the version of himself that he had now grown into, but the young boy who had been alienated by the world under the false pretenses of love and righteousness. Sukuna had to be reminded each day that where weak people were— the self proclaimed righteous were never far behind, and nothing infuriated him more.
In the midst of your mortified fumbling, you hadn’t noticed that he’d stepped closer to you, reaching behind you to push your hands away and nimbly unhook it himself. You peered up at him through your lashes as though too scared to meet his gaze head on as his large hand came back around to hang in front of you, dangling the cross just beside your nose. He was glowering down at you, sharp eyes seeming to assess your every breath, and, for a moment, you were sure he could see straight through you. 
“Thank you.” You mumbled sincerely, holding your palm up for him to carefully drop the necklace in the center of it. 
The towering man stepped back to allow you to place the jewelry safely into your bag before rejoining him. In the minuscule interaction, you came to the comforting resignation that he had already had the chance to use that grueling size of his to his advantage, but the only use he put to his hands thus far was to help you. 
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little nervous is all— I was being judgmental. Let’s start over.”
“No, remember that.” Sukuna insisted with a nonchalant shake of his head. He raised a splayed out hand in front of him before nodding toward it. “Punch me.” 
“Punch you?” You repeated, eyes flickering apprehensively between him and his large palm. “Aren’t you supposed to… I don’t know— put gloves on or something?”
His expression deadpanned at you, and you could practically hear that unimpressed glint in his eyes asking you— are you serious right now? The borderline exasperated look on his face actually managed to break through your nerves for the first time since you’d walked into the small gym. A horribly concealed, breathy laugh escaped you as you realized the ridiculousness of your question. It made him look away from you for a moment, fighting back a tired smile of his own that showed just how long he’d been working today. 
Quickly collecting yourself, you squared your shoulders to show him that you were ready. He nodded at you, barely adjusting his stance to prepare for whatever force your comparably small fists would deliver. His scarlet eyes observed your form as you hurled your balled up fist forward with what looked to be all the strength you could manage. You wouldn’t have the chance to see if it dealt any damage because you were quickly curling back, cradling your fist into your chest with a pained groan.
“That’s why you need to correct your form before you jump into anything else.” He explained simply, not at all phased by your pathetic attempt at a punch as he cracked his neck concerningly loud. 
“If you knew that, why didn’t you teach me that first?” You gaped in exasperation, wringing out your now throbbing knuckles. 
“Because now you’ll never forget to fix your form, huh?”
The first thing you learned about Sukuna is that, when there was an option to learn the hard way— he always took it. It didn’t matter that he was lightyears taller than you, or that the only thing you’d ever hit in your life was your pillow, or that you were a girl. In that hour that you were his student— he was going to make sure you learned. 
Despite the dull ache that remained in your hand the remaining hour as he demonstrated the proper posture to take, even down to how you should be breathing, it was exhilarating to have been taken seriously for once. His corrections, though gruff and direct, were never the condescending tone you had grown so accustomed to among the men who you grew up alongside in the church. 
They, like your father, had so many stories to tell you of the heathens that were often drawn to the city with allures of its greed and idolatry. These caricatures they’d conjure up would leave you shaken at night as you prayed to the Lord for any alternative— stuck between the fear of what may be awaiting you should you leave the safe confines of your hometown, and the isolating horror of what it may mean for you if you stayed. 
It began to make you wonder though as you placed your water bottle back into your bag and shrugged your hoodie back on. You questioned the tales you had been fed your entire life— because none of them had ever mentioned that the people in the city, who had a knack for giving into the sins of the flesh and denying the name of the Lord, would also be the first to speak to you instead of at you. Perhaps it was just Sukuna though— you wouldn’t know.
“I have you down for the same time next week.” He instructed firmly while moving to shelf the weights he’d been having you use to practice your form. “Better be practicing too— I can tell if you’re bullshitting me.” 
It had only been a little over an hour, but you had somehow felt as though you’d already grown accustomed to his intense way of speaking. Then again, there was also the possibility that it was sliding off your shoulders because he was treating you with the kind of basic human decency you hadn’t even known was possible for so long. Additionally, you took comfort in the fact that you knew what he was thinking— what with him being so terribly honest even about what pissed him off. You didn’t have to guess what atrocities might be hiding behind sickly sweet, feigned smiles and traitorously kind words.
So, you only smiled and nodded affirmatively at him as you bid him a goodnight. From behind you, he only grunted in response, casting one last look at you from over his shoulder as you left the gym, still practically bouncing with adrenaline. That exercise-induced dopamine hit only lasted so long though, because you were soon reminded of how far you’d parked your car as you stared out into the now pitch-black night surrounding you. 
Your fingers fiddled with the straps of your bag as you lifted yourself onto your tiptoes to survey all the dimly-lit alleys between yourself and your vehicle. All your skepticism about the fear-tactics you had been fed your whole life flew out the window in favor of recalling all the stories about what happened to girls like you out in these big cities. Gulping down the anxious lump in your throat, you bounced on your heels apprehensively. 
Slowly sliding back, you found yourself pulling open the door to the gym once again, where Sukuna was cleaning the space up for the night. He looked entirely absorbed in the task at hand, headphone tucked snuggly into his ears and face scrunched initimidatingly firm. It made you hesitate, but you weren’t able to concern yourself any longer about if you were being a terribly annoying inconvenience to him, because he caught your hovering form in his peripheral. 
“You forget something?” He questioned with a calculated raise of his brow. 
Chewing on your cheek, you remembered the fear that look struck in you the moment you’d seen it first— the subtle temper that seemed to be permanently lurking behind it and how his stature did nothing to comfort his observers. 
“No, um…” You pursed your lips, your blunt fingernails rapping against the door as he watched you expectantly. At the ridiculousness of your own request, you found yourself flushing.
“Spit it out.” 
 “Do you think you could walk with me?” You finally squeaked out at the sound of his impatient order. He blinked incredulously at you a few times, so you clarified. “To my car? I-I just parked kind of far and…”
Your words trailed in embarrassment as he watched the way you glanced behind you uneasily, but he knew. How could he not? He’d been doing this for far too long, after all.  
Though the man had his own, begrudgingly personal reasons for being in the line of work he was in, it always ended right when that hour was up. Knowing that he had already done all that he would have been able to in the time allotted, there was never any pull for him to try harder or dig deeper. Of course, it could also have been attributed to the fact that he’d never been one to care much for connection— not when what he had learned so early on about connection severed so many critical parts of him at such a young age. 
Still, it was the very reason his typically automatic refusal faltered. The look in your eyes was humble, flickering between him and the darkness that lay behind you. Your gaze held a vulnerability not unlike the kind he so vehemently detested— the one that had once glimmered in his own eyes. 
With a soft click of his tongue, he tugged his headphones out and shoved them into his pockets. Your lashes fluttered as his long legs began striding toward the door, and you stepped aside for him to push through it. Already a few yards ahead of you, Sukuna paused and swiveled his head around to see that you were still at the door.
“You coming, brat? Or do you need to be carried too?” Despite his taunting words, his tone didn’t hold the malice he intended it to, and you knew it too. With a soft, wobbly smile of appreciation, you quickly fell into step beside him, nodding in the direction of your car. 
It was silent as you two walked beside one another, the only noises permeating the peace being the thuds of your feet against the concrete and the jingling of his keys deep in his pockets where he had shoved his hands. Sukuna’s crimson eyes regarded you discreetly from his peripheral, noting the way you walked as though the ground might give out on you at any second. It was becoming clearer to him by the second that you were new to being out in the world on your own— at least that’s what your shifting eyes and tense shoulders told him as the rowdy conversation of a group of men grew closer with each step of your trek. 
Even through your attempted subtlety, he picked up with a sharp precision the way you inched ever-so-slightly closer to him at the sudden intrusion. Casting his eyes to the side, his fist clenched twice in contemplation before he pulled it from his pocket and rested a guiding hand on the nape of your neck as you two passed the group in what he hoped would be a message to chill the fuck out.
The motion stung at your nervous system for a moment before you felt his fingers tighten as the two of you brushed against the men on your route. The protectiveness that came like a second nature to him spread a subtle warmth through your chest, one you were sure to stomp out before you let it fester anymore. Now a safe distance from what sounded to be a drunken group, his grip on your neck eased up. Clicking his jaw, he felt a sense of relief for a fear that wasn’t his to shoulder as he wondered what would have happened had you not come back for him.
The worn down car beeped a few feet away from you as you clicked at the key, and Sukuna’s hand slowly fell from your neck. 
“Thank you.” Your tone was overly sincere for an action as miniscule as walking you to your car, but it only added to the growing, twisting sensation in his gut that said something was off about the look in your eyes. Despite this, you smiled up at him, far more assured than the tense one you had given him when you still feared him. 
“Yeah, whatever,” He muttered, shoving his hands back into his pockets as you tugged open your door and settled in. Finally taking the chance to glance over you again, the man leaned his hand against the dingy vehicle. “Don’t park so fucking far next time. There’s a lot behind the gym.”
In the growling irritation that laced his tone, you were still able to detect that he was trying to help you— even if he wanted it to seem like you were deeply inconveniencing him. Still, you didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness, so you nodded ardently. 
“Behind the gym, got it.” 
His lips twitched up softly at your sincerely affirmative tone, but he made sure to turn his face away before you could see it. 
“Not everyone’s out to get you.” Sukuna grumbled as you clicked your seatbelt on. Perhaps he was jumping the gun with his assumptions, but he had a sneaking suspicion about the way you view the world around you. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at his words. “And get a can of mace, will ya? Not always gonna be around to play knight for you.”
He didn’t give you the chance to respond, closing the door firmly with his monstrous hand. Waiting until he heard the soft click of your door locking, you watched as his broad frame stalked away from your car. 
God won’t allow you to be tempted beyond what you could bear.
It was meant to provide you solace as you recalled the scripture, however it only fed your doubt the entire drive to your apartment, thoughts of how his warmth felt against your skin haunting your once steadfast beliefs. 
It was more than his sinful beauty that plagued you though— it was the wisdom he seemed to keep about the very things that terrified you. Like a gatekeeper into the depths of your naivety, Sukuna seemed so sure of his every move and belief, and, in turn, he seemed to hold that same confidence in you. It was so foreign to you to receive that confidence without the need to prove yourself first— always guiltily fragile before proven innocently competent. 
You busied yourself as best you could in the days that followed, trying to build your new apartment from the ground up and make it into some semblance of a home. It was with a haste that you came though, only a duffel bag on your shoulder and certainly no furniture to liven up the space. With the limited budget you were working with, you spent a day searching though thrift stores and garage sales for decent enough pieces that would suffice for your living space. 
With each bill you pulled from the modest wad of cash you kept hidden within a sock at the corner of your bathroom cabinet, the looming reality of being truly on your own was settling in, and you wondered who the hell would hire you with only babysitting experience. It was just another reason to curse your upbringing, never having prepared you for the real world, because in their version of it, teaching you to bring up a child was all the preparation you needed. 
You shook your head in an attempt to veer yourself away from where your thoughts would eventually take you. In your journey of self discovery, you were quickly learning that pitying yourself wouldn’t save you from the uphill battle of moving forward. 
A determined huff escaped you as you finally located the parking lot Sukuna had told you about the week prior. Though you no longer feared him in the way you had upon first meeting, it was the energy he emanated that had you needing to hype yourself up to enter the gym for your second lesson that evening. 
He was doing warm ups when the bell on the door chimed alerting your arrival, his long legs spread into a near completely horizontal line on each side of him as he leaned to the right to grasp onto his foot. His movements were almost supernaturally fluid, and it was jarring to see such precise agility coming from a man with such an imposing figure. The hem of his black, compression shirt had ridden up in the midst of his stretch, revealing the wickedly small sliver of his sculpted back. 
There was the smallest of parts between your lips as you found yourself leaning forward with each centimeter the fabric continued to crawl up. The abrupt lifting of his head snapped you from your pathetic gawking though, his scarlet eyes finding yours instantaneously. 
“What’s wrong with you?” He questioned brashly, taking note of the subtle flush in your cheeks. He twisted his torso to crack his back before standing easily from his place on the mat to gather a few gloves and weights for the lesson. 
“Oh— nothing.” You shook from your thoughts long enough to smile at him, to which he only responded with a quirk of his brow and an unconvinced grunt. 
“You practice like I told you to?” 
You nodded at him, dropping your bag carefully onto the side of the counter before moving to unzip your jacket. This time around, you had half a mind to pick a less form-fitting t-shirt lest you be forced to anxiously readjust yourself between every move. 
“I tried. I don’t really have any weights though, so…” 
That subtle vulnerability, the unnecessary embarrassment in all your explanations was driving him insane. It made him want to shake you, to scream at you to fuck the world and stop being so damn scared of everything. It’s not what he was here for though, so he pushed the timid twitching at the corners of your lips to the back of his mind and nodded for you to stand before him and demonstrate the form he had spent so long perfecting with you the week prior. 
You felt like shifting your weight under his scrutinizing gaze as it dragged from your firmly planted feet up your parted legs and to the controlled stiffness in your spine. Sukuna circled around you, akin to a predator stalking its prey— at least a helpless lamb in the jawls of a wolf was exactly how you felt at the moment. 
He hummed, placing one hand on your shoulder and the other at the center of your back to straighten your posture. Nodding to himself at the correction, he almost allowed his hands to fall when he caught sight of the deep bruise forming on your forearm. 
“The fuck happened to you?” The man questioned with a laser-like focus, lifting your injured arm to emphasize what he was inquiring about. 
When your eyes fell upon his target, that infuriatingly familiar blush coated your cheeks once again. Pulling your arm from his grasp, you traced a gentle palm over the nasty mark. 
“I was… trying to put together a coffee table.” You murmured bashfully, not lifting your gaze for fear of his reaction. 
It was silent for a moment. 
“A coffee table?” Sukuna repeated as though perhaps he’d just heard you wrong, a subtle exasperation in his tone. You only nodded. “And what, did it grow fucking arms and fight back?” 
At this, you giggled hesitantly, but his seriousness only made your laughter bubble up uncontrollably. Had he not been so perturbed at your claim, perhaps he would have found himself fighting back a smile at the sound. Quickly adjusting to fix your posture once again, you shook your head in an attempt to fight off your tickled smile. 
“No, no, I just—” You shrugged sheepishly as he stared impatiently down at you. “I’ve never had the chance to do stuff like that before, so I don’t really know how to use all the tools.”
“Right,” He responded doubtfully, still eyeing the blackening mark just above your wrist for a moment longer before he released it. “You at least get the shit standing?” 
“Well… no, but my landlord offered to come over after he got off work to help me with it.” 
This made Sukuna pause mid shoulder stretch, a volant sense of unease seeping into his chest. Slowly lowering his arms back down to his side, his cautionary gaze struck you sharply. 
“Your landlord?” He began lowly, making you nod hesitantly. “Offered to come to your house to help you build a table— at night?”
You gulped at his warning tone, the growing expression of exasperation on his face gave you pause. The disbelief in those crimson eyes suddenly made you feel sickly insecure about the decision that you were so confident would fix your little dilemma. Picking at your nails, you cast your eyes to your feet where they still sat planted firmly in the mat below you. 
“I mean, yeah. I don’t really know anyone—”
“So you were gonna let a stranger into your place by yourself?”
“You were the one that told me that not everyone was out to get me.” Your feeble attempt at a defense only made him scoff disbelievingly under his breath, hands on his hips as he looked to the side in frustration. 
“Yeah, but—” He clicked his tongue with a shake of his head, and it was clear that he was trying to reign in his temper. “I’ll teach you how to put the damn table together. Don’t let that asshole into your place, so help me god.”
You gaped at him as he moved around you to shift around the weights that he’d set out for today’s lesson with no real rhyme or reason. Sukuna only knew that if he didn’t do something to distract himself from the possibilities of what kind of scumbag you were about to let into your space, he would have barrelled out the door to find the asshole himself. 
“But—”
“But what?” His abruptly challenging tone made you flush. It wasn’t out of fear though, it was the finality in his tone that was stirring that familiar warmth in the pits of your stomach that only seemed to make its star appearances when he was nearby. 
It wasn’t his intention to come off so harshly— though it never was, that sharp tongue was simply ingrained into his bloodstream— but there was a fierce protectiveness that stirred in him that needed to guard that infuriating innocence of yours the way no one bothered to protect his. Taking note of your flushed cheeks, he released a calculatedly controlled sigh before softening his tone as best as he knew how to. 
“Quit overthinking it. I’ll show you how to do it so you don’t gotta be asking assholes to help you for stupid shit.” He grumbled, finally coming back around to stand in front of you as he nodded for you to get back into form. 
It took you a few moments, too busy staring up at him with a type of gratitude he wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of. To be fair though, he was holding out something that you too had yet to grasp at, and it was the chance of independence Sukuna was forcing into your unsuspecting hands. Your eyes shone even through the downright ugly lighting of his gym, flaring your presence throughout the space in a way the very walls were unworthy of. 
He could barely look at you as the two of you exchanged numbers after your lesson that evening, feeling for the first time in so long defenseless against what your perfectly intact soul would do to him should he continue meddling with it for too long. That fear didn’t stop him from knocking— perhaps a bit too firmly— on your door just a few days later, because if anyone was going to be blinded by whatever fucking sunshine you miraculously still kept in your pocket while living in a city like this— it sure as hell wasn’t going to be your creep of a landlord. 
“You live in a fucking shoe box.” Sukuna commented gruffly as he ducked in through your front door. 
This made you glance around the modest apartment, but your estimation couldn’t possibly be correct now that his imposing figure was taking up so much space. There was a subtle sense of your heart racing in your through at the sight of him, hair rustled and damp as though freshly showered, in his joggers and the t-shirt you had been praying would be loose enough to not showcase each rippling muscle in his abdomen. It seemed your prayers had fallen on deaf ears though— much like they seemed to have been your whole life. 
Sukuna was big, and devilishly handsome, and generous— and he was a man in your apartment unchaperoned, and you couldn’t tell if the notion scared you or excited you. It made you wonder if whatever threat Sukuna was so sure your landlord would pose to you would have been safer than the temptation this man wafted toward you with each confident step into your space. You felt small beside him, even more so here than you ever did in that gym. 
“I moved in a little bit of a hurry.” You explained with a bashful huff, finally finding the courage to shut the front door. 
Quickly falling into step behind him, you followed as he stalked toward the heap of wood on the floor of your living room. 
“Shitty roommate?” He guessed absentmindedly while squatting down to inspect the disheveled instruction manual on the floor, setting down the toolbox he’d brought with him.
“Uhhh, yeah, I guess you could say that.” You offered a forced smile as you allowed yourself to fall back onto the couch behind him. 
The pink-haired man abruptly lifted his head at the sound of the second-hand furniture creaking softly under your weight. His brows were raised into his hairline as he shook his head expectantly at you.
“Uh-uh, you better get your ass over here, Princess. I told you I’d show you how to do it, and I’m fucking showing you.” 
His sharp command had you springing into action, hopping off the couch to kneel down beside him. From so close, the scent of the musky body wash that still clung to every inch of him. Hiding your sheepishly tickled smile, you nodded affirmatively at him. He regarded your eager posture with a sidelong glance, the anticipation you held for learning how to put together a damn coffee table softening his brash expression ever so slightly. 
“What— your old man never teach you how to use a damn screwdriver?” His grumbled question, though accusatory, held more curiosity than he was willing to admit that he held for you. 
“He always said that was… man’s work.” The soft laugh you attempted didn’t conceal the regret laced in your tone, especially not from Sukuna’s keen senses. 
Your explanation had a scowl forming abruptly on his already intimidating face. That grossly outdated sentiment sounded so familiar to him, and he found himself pressing to confirm despite the way his question may reveal a part of his past he tried to bury under all his muscle and tattoos. 
“Jesus freaks?” He didn’t look at you as he made his assumption, instead focusing on laying out the tools you two would need. 
“He was— is a preacher; my dad.” 
It was all beginning to click into place— your near irrational fear of the world around you. The odd slip up in tenses wasn’t lost on him either, and it only added fuel to the fire of his building questions. 
“Preacher’s daughter, huh?” Sukuna whistled lowly in amusement. You hung your head down so your hair would curtain your face. “Surprised they let you leave the nest without a ring on your finger.”
He had been half expecting you to reciprocate his banter with that bashful defensiveness that seemed to roll off your tongue so easily, but you had fallen silent as he picked up the base of the table. Pulling his lips into a thin line, his eyes seemed to unconsciously drag down toward your neck, noting that it was still bare of the cross he’d unhooked from it weeks prior. An inexplicable guilt panged deeper at his chest with each second that passed within your silence. 
“Eh, I think it’s all bullshit, anyway.” He wanted to ease that tension he’d unknowingly placed upon your shoulder. A determined sigh escaped him as he shifted onto his knees. “Grab me one of the legs.” 
At this, you glanced up at him in surprise, lips parting gently, too thrown off by his confession to be relieved that he’d shifted the topic from your leaving home. With a fluttering gaze, you did as he asked. 
“What do you mean?”
“All that religious superiority crap— it’s all bullshit.” His reiteration only made you scoff out an uncertain laugh. A smirk tugged at his lips at your shock. “Quit blubbering and watch me. You’re doing the next one.”
“So what do you believe then?” You challenged, leaning against your hand that lay splayed out just beside his hip as you observed the way his hand curled around the grip of the power drill.
“If you’re asking me if I believe in some all knowing god or fairy or whatever the hell it is you people come up with to feel better about yourselves— then no. There ain’t no higher power, I don’t buy it.” 
The dull buzzing of the tool filled the small space separating the two of you. About a minute passed before he finished securing the respective screw, and he pulled back to assure you were still paying attention. Your eyes narrowed along with your accusatory smile. 
“You don’t really believe that.” 
“You don’t think so?” He muttered with a small smirk, nudging at your arm for you to take the power tool from him. 
Your breath hitched as his warm hand enveloped yours over the grip to press down against the two fingers you had placed over the trigger. The heat from his chest was radiating against your shoulder that had subsequently pressed right into him. Once he was sure you had grown used to the weight of the hefty tool in your grip, he slowly released your hand. 
“I think you only want to believe that.” You weren’t sure where you had found the nerve to test him in such a way, but something in the way his haughty smirk faltered subtly as you turned back to observe his reaction made you believe that there was some truth to your words. “It just sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself, is all.��
“Yeah? And what about you?” He prefaced his rebuttal by sweeping the hair from your neck, revealing the absence of your own symbol of belief. The sudden brush of his fingertips across your sensitive skin made your fingers stall against the trigger. “Never put that pretty necklace of yours back on.” 
“So?” You tried desperately to sound more confident than you felt at the moment, but the breathlessness that lingered in your tone betrayed you.
“So, maybe you’re trying to convince yourself that you still believe it, too.”
It was his fierce defensiveness over the walls he’d built around that part of him that was talking right now, stomping so carelessly over what was clearly a sensitive topic for you. No matter how much you didn’t want to hear it though, you knew he had dug deep, and you couldn’t understand how he had seen right through you. 
The guilt of your doubt was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. Laying awake at night these days, you prayed and prayed for signs and answers, begging the Lord to tell you that what you had to do to protect yourself wouldn’t damn you. You were running though— running from the very temple you were meant to be tethered to. Would God grant you his mercy still? And if he was a merciless God, would it be so blasphemous of you to turn your cheek against him?
Your pained vulnerability reflected in your dewy eyes as they bore into his. Sukuna’s jaw ticked, taut with the type of vexation he only reserved for himself. It wasn’t his intention to wound you, only to disarm you against looking too deeply into him. If you pried too far, perhaps you would understand that he wasn’t just terribly astute. Rather, the doubt etched across your gentle features was much like a looking glass into his own past— he saw himself.
Sukuna blinked slowly at the war waging on in your mind against righteousness and safety, and he saw a young boy ostracized in the name of the Lord. He saw a boy frenzied in his turning the already frayed pages of his Bible in search of answers that would have been blurred by his tears should he have found them. In spite of all the ways his faith excommunicated him, even he couldn’t deny the way the promise of an all merciful God comforted him even as he was tearing himself away from such sentiments. 
“Don’t listen to me.” The man finally grumbled, turning from you to survey the screw you’d just secured into the table. It was a bit crooked, splitting the wood surrounding it ever so slightly, but it was secure nonetheless. “It’s good to… believe in something bigger than you. Hold onto that.”
Because God only knew how lonely it felt to have been burned so savagely that he was rendered incapable of belief, but the sting of the Father’s loving punishments always hurt much more. 
Sukuna left you that afternoon with a freshly built coffee table and more confusion than someone who seemed so sure of himself should have been able to provide. Sinking down on your couch, you eyes remained glued to the fruits of yours and his labor, your mind running over all the eye rolls of feigned annoyance he’d offer whenever you’d mess something up. None of them ever negated the subtle pride evident in the twitch of his lips every time you’d beam up at him with the hope that you’d finally gotten a technique down. 
No matter how quickly he tried to backtrack, his words only fed the ever growing mountain of doubt that had sprung up before you had even packed your first bag to leave home. It sounded personal to him, as though he was speaking from painful first-hand experience. Just a few months ago, someone so confidently spouting heresy in such a way would’ve had you running the other way, back to the safety of conformity. Now though it only seemed to draw you deeper into his contrasting orbit. 
Each lingering, crimson stare and brush of his calloused hand worked their way into perspiring dreams, accompanied by sensations of longing you weren’t sure you had ever allowed yourself to feel. Either that, or the neatly groomed, prim and proper boys of your church you had been surrounded by growing up could never come close to permeating the barrier the Lord had put up in your mind against sinful thoughts of temptation. 
Sukuna though— Sukuna was temptation incarnate. He was everything you had been warned against, and he seemed to have been pulled straight from Ezekiel, boiling over with each accusation the Lord wrought against Lucifer. He was the seal of perfection, that sharp tongue of his full of wisdom, and his flesh perfect in beauty. The signs all pointed toward deception— yet, much like a naive and longing Eve, not even the fear of damnation could hinder you from how sweet that forbidden fruit might taste against your awaiting lips. 
“Focus.” Sukuna growled as you were knocked onto your back for the third time that day. 
Though it took every ounce of courage left in you to show up for your next lesson the following week, that gnawing urge to let your fingertips brush against the fire outweighed any survival instinct you held for your poor soul. It might as well have been for not though, because you couldn’t for the life of you concentrate hard enough to brace yourself for the test attacks he continued sending your way. 
The trainer wasn’t fairing any better though. This had somehow become personal to him. Each strike he was able to land and stance he was able to dismantle struck an unanticipated irritation in his chest, because if he was able to disarm you so easily— surely someone else with less favorable intentions would be able to as well. He tried to be tougher on you, push you harder, but, in truth, it was difficult for him to focus on his own technique each time he pressed himself against you in demonstration. 
It was borderline pathetic. Sukuna had been in this field for years now, and he prided himself on the level of professionalism he always maintained with his students. Perhaps it was one of the reasons he never allowed himself to toe the barrier of professionalism and connection, because they could pant and press against him all they wanted, but it never meant anything to him— not until you. 
That type of determination in your eyes wasn’t uncommon for the women who came in for self-defense classes, but his fatal mistake was digging deeper. Now, despite the puzzle pieces still being strewn about and disorganized, he still held an ample amount of them to begin to be able to see the bigger picture. 
“I’m trying.” You huffed out in frustration, brows drawn together in subtle embarrassment as you took his outstretched hand to help you up. 
“Bullshit.” He spat out instantaneously as you stumbled up with the force of his pull.
 Shooting a palm out toward his chest to steady yourself, you tried to keep your eyes trained on anything but him. It was no use though— he had been picking up on each little lingering eye and flushed cheek of yours since last week, and it was driving him insane. 
“Shouldn’t you be teaching me how to like… I don’t know not get kidnapped?”
“Should I be?” He challenged immediately, and this time his bewitching eyes caught yours with no real intent of ever letting them go. The question was calculated— prying. Sukuna wanted to know why you were here, that much you could tell.
“Aren’t you the teacher?” You tried to reciprocate that same level of trial, but this type of banter was new to you— especially with a man. 
“Aren’t you the one paying me?” 
Sukuna’s lip curled up at the way your resolve slipped under his logic. Nonetheless, he hung his head for a moment as though collecting himself before stepping back a few paces. Once backed up sufficiently, he nodded at you. 
“Okay— new lesson. Try to escape.”
“What am I escaping?” You laughed hesitantly, looking around the small gym like a child would scope out potential hide-and-seek locations. 
At once, a wolfish grin lit up his face, casting his eyes ablaze with a dangerous glint that had you regretting asking for a change of pace in the first place. A nervous gulp forced its way down your throat.
“Me.”
No quicker than you could process his response was he lunging forward, his monstrous hand closing around your forearm in a crushing grip. You yelped in surprise as he tugged you forward. 
“C‘mon, you would’ve been in the back of the van by now, Princess.” He taunted as he watched you struggle against him. “What would you do?”
With a grunt, you tried to pull away from his hand’s demanding weight, but it only made your wrist ache with the strained effort. 
“Ground your feet again.” The man demanded, continuing to yank at your arm. “Forget your posture and your ass is getting taken.” 
It took a disciplined focus to halt your attempts to fight against him long enough to plant your socked feet into the mat once again. With the proper distance and subtle bend of your legs, it had admittedly become easier to keep yourself from falling against his firm tugs. 
“See where my thumb is?” His free hand reached up to pat at where his thumb curled around his middle finger on your forearm. “It’s the weakest part of my grip. Twist your arm out toward the weak spot instead of fighting against the strongest part.” 
With a fluttering gaze of determination, your face scrunched up as you maneuvered your arm against the Achilles heel he’d revealed to you. A triumphant laugh escaped you as your arm twisted underneath his own and subsequently broke free. There was barely an opportunity given for you to give a hop of glee, because Sukuna wasted no time lunging forward once again. The motion made you squeak in surprise, jumping into action to race across the gym, where his thundering footsteps weren’t far behind. 
“What happened to your victory dance, Princess?” The man taunted as you ducked behind the counter, knocking over your abandoned bag in the midst of your pursuit. He prowled on the other side, knees bent ever so slightly as if waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce on you. With a mocking tilt of his head, he offered you an intoxicating smirk. “What— you think a kidnapper’s gonna let you go just cause you got out once?”
“Well, I was hoping he would—” You jolted to the right as he pounced to the left as though to swoop in on you. An anxiously tickled smile tugged at your lips. “—grant me a little mercy considering I got it on my first try?”
“He was granting you mercy by giving you a head start.” 
A shriek left you as you watched him hop over the counter with ease. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins as you barely escaped his grasp, his fingertips catching against the fabric of your t-shirt. In the back of your mind, you knew you should have been taking this seriously, and your activated fight or flight response certainly was. The less disciplined part of you though— the one still riding on the high of her newfound freedom— couldn’t help but like the game of cat and mouse he had sprung upon you. 
It was something in his predatory eyes and lascvisious smile, with his canines glittering under the dim lights above you— it was almost making you want to be caught. You wanted to know what he would do, how his victory would translate against the grips of his sinful hands. 
That shuddering falter in your step as the blood rushed down your body made sure you’d find out soon though, because his arms were quickly taking advantage of your misstep, wrapping around you from behind to clutch at your wrists. You couldn’t stifle the gasp that ripped up your throat as he pressed himself against your back.
“What now, hm?” Sukuna challenged as you finally began to struggle against his grip. 
You could barely concentrate enough to hypothesize what might be the right technique to use here, because heat was bursting from his chest and soaking through your clothes like rays of the sun, and it was rendering you useless, your breathing laboring with each nudge of his chin against the crown of your head. 
“Drop your weight.” He finally offered, and it sounded as though he was expending no effort to keep you secured. 
Against his chest, he could feel each ragged expand and deflate of your ribcage as it became clear it wasn’t only him being affected by the proximity. Though his mind was telling him to hold you tighter, keep you this close just a bit longer, he wasn’t sure how long he could maintain his composure without causing a serious problem. 
With a shuddering nod, you allowed yourself to fall into his grasp, your t-shirt sliding up with the sudden movement. 
“Faster— all at once. You’re supposed to catch them by surprise, make them lose grip.” His arms quickly hoisted you back up in tandem with his barking order. “Do it again.”
You nodded deliriously at his command, nearly drunk on the scent of his body wash lingering on his perspiring skin. Doing as he said, you quickly kicked your feet out from underneath you, your weight falling limply into his arms. 
Sukuna grunted softly, and you had assumed it was from this catching your now dead weight. You were painfully unaware of how the swell of your ass had rolled against his groin on your way down, and he was fighting forces greater than demons to continue this lesson. Glancing up toward the ceiling in a desperate attempt to shift his focus, he sucked in a calculated breath. 
“Good, now wriggle out with your hips, make it impossible to keep the grip on you.” 
He regretted his instruction as soon as it left his mouth— because just as you began writhing out of his grasp, no mouth of counting back from one-hundred, or repeating multiplication tables he hadn’t thought of since middle school was able to stop all the blood remaining in his brain from rushing to his dick. 
“C’mon,” The man grunted half out of desperation for this to be over with already to maintain any sense of professionalism he could still manage. “Use your feet— kick me— get out.”
In your hazed oblivion, you did as you were told, swinging back to land a barely impactful kick to his shin. When that did nothing, you reared back once more, this time making sure your foot collided with his knee. This maneuver finally did him in, though his arms remained locked around you as his leg gave out under him.
You tumbled to the ground along with him, the air temporarily abandoning your lungs at the impact of his firm chest against your rib cage. From under you, he groaned from what you thought was the force at which he hit the ground. Unbeknownst to you though, it was the fact that you were now frantically shuffling around to apologize to him, and you had sat directly onto his growing… dilemma. 
“I’m so sorry.” You gasped out, your hands that had finally been released falling forward on either side of his head to support yourself. “Are you…”
Your breathless concern trailed off as you looked down at him to find he was already staring up at you, ruby eyes half-lidded with a certain hunger you weren’t sure you could place. Despite this, the intensity of them made an incriminating heat spread between your legs. Unlike you, Sukuna had experience in this walk of life, and he could pinpoint that look in your eyes that told him he wasn’t alone in his wandering thoughts. Still, he felt it was far from his place to make the first move— not when you’d clearly never been in such a position before. 
So, he stayed perfectly still beneath you, save for the ragged rise and fall of his chest as your hair curtained around him and enveloped him in your scent. The tips of his fingers dug into the cushioned mat beneath him. 
The tendrils of temptation swirling in his heated eyes made you realize that it was no wonder you had been so quick to believe the cautionary tales you were told about lust growing up. In all your years being raised alongside what were meant to be God’s children, his born again men, all of the lecherous gazes sent your way in the midst of sermons or while receiving the body and the blood— every last one of them held the threat of caged animals. 
God said to abstain from the passions of the flesh because they’d wage war against your soul, but the scripture failed to mention the white flags your heart would so quickly wave when met by the eyes of the right beholder. Sukuna wasn’t sin, or lewd temptation— he wasn’t the morning star that would soon capture you in his fall from grace, despite how the uncharted emotions he stirred in you led you to believe. He couldn’t possibly be all those things— not when he was staring up at you as though your poorly timed awakening was a gift you were bestowing upon him. 
The apprehension in your gaze was palpable, and, though he couldn’t be sure what his encouragement might mean, he allowed his head to tilt in the subtlest of nods at you. You hoped all the romance novels that you’d hide under the shoebox in your old bedroom hadn’t failed you as you leaned down with a timid quiver of your lips to offer your first kiss to him, one he could feel all the years of repression hidden behind. 
A baritoned hum reverberated in the back of his throat as he allowed his eyes to shut, relishing in the feeling of your exploration. The sound served to validate your reserved actions, allowing you to melt against the way his doughy lips molded against you with all the confidence of an experienced man. Your chest gradually lowered against his, the hands that had since been idle by his head instinctively sliding up to grasp at his strapping shoulders that flexed dangerously under your touch. 
It felt as though that incandescent ball of energy that had been building in your chest since the moment you first laid eyes on him was traveling up your throat, trailing a blazing heat in its wake while it spilled from your whimpering lips to find its home in him. Sukuna’s neck strained up to hungrily leverage a better angle to take whatever it was that you were willing to offer him. 
The way your hands remained ever so timid in their exploration, one remaining balanced on his shoulder as the other trailed hesitantly up his neck— it was filling him with a warmth unbeknownst to him if from the anticipation of your next move, or the burning fondness that seemed to gnaw at his stone heart each time he was reminded of the innocence that had been forced on you. Whichever it was, it had his hands finally moving from their respectful place on the ground to lace your fingers together, guiding your trembling hand up to brush against his flexing jaw and heating cheeks until the message was set in stone that you could do with him whatever you pleased.
The sudden reassurance made way for your fingers’ insatiable journey up the remainder of his face and into his pink tufts of hair. Sukuna moaned unabashedly at the sensation of your once shy grip curling into his roots, the sound sending shockwaves through your already buzzing system as he bit at your bottom lip before his tongue raced out to chase the subtle sting away. 
You arched against him, and it was then that you became painfully aware of the unfamiliar stiffness pressing against you. Though you knew that you had already crossed that strictly set moral line separating your human instinct from the parts of you that you could actually accept, it was still evident that this was completely different territory than a mere kiss. Even so, you couldn’t deny the way his concealed arousal excited you, pulling you like a magnet deeper into his allure.
The hand you had remaining on his chest curled into the fabric of his compression shirt as you pressed your hips down in a way you hoped was subtle. Of course, he could feel every breath and tremble of you though, and most definitely heard your gasp when your small shift caused him to press sinfully against your own heat. 
It wasn’t what he had expected, not with how much courage it seemed to have taken for you to give into your temptation to simply kiss him, but he was pliant beneath you. Sukuna was offering up his own body to the altar of your self-discovery— and despite all the verses he swore to erase from his mind, he could suddenly recall through his wanton haze that the Bible referred to one’s own body being offered in sacrifice as the utmost form of spiritual worship. It was far from him to agree with the very pages that tormented his youth, but as you experimentally rolled your hips against him to chase that pooling desire spreading through you, he was sure that he was a man of the Lord once again. 
Your lips parted from his, foreheads still pressed together while the barely audible, breathless moans slipped from you. He watched your expression fervently, taking note of that subtle frustration that creased between your brows in the pursuit of a relief that your clumsy ruts were insufficient to provide. Reaching up, his hands closed around your waist to adjust you over his straining length. 
“Try now.” Sukuna instructed in that husky tone of his that only made your affliction that much more damning, slipping a strand of your hair carefully behind your ear to get a better look at you.
Ever the obedient student, you did as he said, though it hardly took any effort on your end as his urging hands aided in the steady rhythm of your thrusts. It wasn’t long before you were steadying your hands against his chest, too overwhelmed by the foreign pleasure to be embarrassed by your pitched moans. 
Faster than you could grasp, everything that you had been told for so long was being pushed to the back of your mind to make room for him. He was rendering you utterly speechless with only his half-lidded stare and charitable hands. Sukuna thought if he didn’t keep his hands glued to your hips that they may be tempted to drift up your top, ablaze with an infuriating curiosity of what it was you always hid under those baggy shirts. 
He didn’t though, and perhaps that’s why you felt emboldened enough to chase the pleasure you’d been told was corrupt all this time. You couldn’t possibly feel the immorality the congregation always spat upon the act, because his hands were so much different than the pleasure-driven ones that grabbed at you with no regard to your own wishes. Sukuna’s hands were driven by a desire to teach you as they had been doing so diligently for weeks now, eyes studying you much like they studied your posture before you’d take a swing at him. 
Your release was building, swirling within the pits of your stomach and so incriminatingly evident in your shortening gasps, your scrunched face and nails that dug into the firm muscles of his clothed chest. The groan that escaped him sounded so melodic through the blood coursing in your ears. It left your fingertips brushing against the waves of your release, encouraged by the knowing glint in his eyes. 
A muted gasp of his name began to fall from your parted lips, but he only nodded at you hazily. 
“I know, Princess, c’mon.” 
The safety of his encouragement had you tipping over that rapidly building precipice, squeezing your eyes shut until he tapped at your ass with a firm command to look at him. It was when you opened your eyes back up though, a peculiar type of fuzziness clouding the edges when a glimmering caught your attention from your peripheral. Your gaze drifted up to where the dull lights were catching on the charm sprawled out on the floor by your fallen bag. It was your cross necklace— the one that had been lying forgotten at the bottom of your bag for weeks now. 
The sight of it clutched at your already racing heart, bringing you to a stammering halt as you jolted back with a mortified gasp. Sukuna quickly sat up at the sudden abandonment of your release.
“What—”
“I-I’m so sorry.” You whispered frantically, your fluttering gaze desperately attempting to hold back the tears lining your waterline. 
You flinched back when his grip on your waist tightened with concern, and it was enough to make him release you all together. His hands fell slowly in bewilderment while you shuffled backwards until you were off of him. 
“The fuck do you mean ‘sorry’?” His tone was harsh as always, but he just wanted to understand the sudden fear in your energy that hadn’t flared up in his presence since that first time you two met. 
“I shouldn’t have…” You shook your head, a trembling hand coming up to cover the lips that you’d allowed to act so blasphemously. “It was wrong, I—”
“Did it look like you were doing anything fucking wrong to me?” 
“But I should have known better— I do know better.” At this point, it appeared as though you weren’t talking to him anymore, but to yourself, to whatever part of you was telling you that what you two just shared was anything other than pure. Shaking your head, you stumbled up to your feet, and Sukuna quickly followed suit. “If they found out—”
You stopped yourself, almost as though you knew you were about to open a can of worms that he would not be so easily coaxed to close back up. He narrowed his sharp eyes at you. 
“If who found out?”
“I should leave—”
“Like hell you should.” Sukuna hulking arm shot out over your head to shut the door you were frantically prying open. The tears you had been desperately withholding were stinging furiously at your fluttering eyes. “Who are you trying to protect yourself from?”
At his astute question, you only looked down, somehow feeling both exposed and safe entrapped by his imposing figure. 
“Huh?”
“I don’t know, Sukuna.”
“You don’t know.” He chuckled bitterly with a nod, staring at the wall by your head with a far off look in his eyes that told you he wasn’t letting this go anytime soon. “Why don’t you show me what you’ve learned then, huh?”
An urging hand was placed at the small of your back, and he was leading you quickly back to the mat. 
“Please, just let—”
“Nah, we’ve still got half an hour left.” Sukuna firmly shut down your plea before nodding for you to get into proper form. “Go ahead and take me down.” 
It didn’t matter how unwavering you attempted to make your glare, his firm stance didn’t falter as he awaited your first move with a calloused expression that contrasted so starkly against the passionate way he was gazing up at you just minutes prior. Sinking your teeth harshly into your bottom lip, your body trembled as you adjusted your posture and lunged into a side step to swipe at his feet. 
It was just as he’d taught you— always using your opponent’s size against them to knock them off balance. You had done it perfectly too, but this time around he wasn’t so lenient in falling over in demonstration as he normally did. This time, he had a point to prove, and his firmly planted feet didn’t falter at your sweep as he took the opportunity to reach down and swallow you up by your midsection. 
A grunt of frustration rolled from you as he hoisted you easily into the air. You kicked out your legs, trying with every last ounce of your waning energy to hit his groin, his shins, stomach— anywhere that might allow you to escape. It was all for naught though, and he was absorbing each of your comparably weak blows as he kneeled to the ground and pinned you beneath him. 
“Escape.” The practically fuming man commanded again, pinning both your hands at the small of your back. 
Your flaming cheek was pressed against the cushioned mat, beginning to gloss over with the sheen of sweat your exertion was producing. Each exasperated pant that escaped you was bringing you closer and closer to understanding just what it was that he was trying to prove, yet you still strained against his grip and jostled your shoulders desperately. 
“What are you gonna do if whoever the fuck they are find you, huh?” He had lowered himself until his chest was pressed against your back, his lips brushing against your feverish ear. 
The since built up tears finally boiled over as the last shred of hope and energy abandoned you, falling limp against the mat as the salty waves cascaded freely down your cheeks. His grip on your wrists slowly eased up, and that harsh scowl was being replaced with a more resigned frown. 
“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Sukuna rationed with you. 
In truth, his resolve was breaking with each heaving sob that spilled from your lips. Finally releasing you all together, he watched in barely concealed unease as you made no attempt to move from your position on the floor. So, he instead worked to pull you up himself, shoving your trembling form against his chest as his eyes remained locked blankly at the counter behind you. 
“I left— I-I ran away.” Your confession was barely comprehensible through your desolate sobs. “I didn’t tell anyone, I just left. I had to leave. I had to—”
“What do you mean you had to?”
Your nose burrowed deeper into his sternum before you shook your head. 
“I tried; I tried, and I prayed, and I begged God to lead me back on his path, but I just… I couldn’t do it anymore.” You continued to babble as you clutched at his shirt. The more you spiraled down the memories you left behind, the more scared he was becoming of what you might tell him. “I thought he was trying to test me— test my faith, but how could I trust in a God that abandoned me like that? That let them…”
Your face scrunched with the trailing of your words. It made a ball of nauseating dread pool in Sukuna’s stomach, his face hardening once again. 
“Let them what?”
“They told me that lust was blasphemous, that God’s children didn’t give into sins of the flesh, but they used the same hands to pray as they did to wander when offering me my blessings every Sunday. What was that supposed to tell me about my God?”
The man’s jaw clicked with the force of his clench as he absorbed your infuriated explanation. Your tears were rapidly becoming ones of rage, continuing to recall each time you stood in waiting, dreading your weekly eucharist as you knew how the associate preacher’s hands liked to stray too far as he performed the sign of the cross against your chest. 
“I thought I was doing the right thing.” You cried, pulling away from him to shove your face into your hands. “So why do I feel like I’ve damned myself? Like I’ve turned against God’s will?”
“God’s will wasn’t for you to be used by those lowlife fucking perverts hiding behind the Bible.” Sukuna finally snapped, trying with everything in him to level his voice lest he displace the rage swimming through his veins. 
“But how am I any better, Sukuna?” Your sudden outburst took him aback. “I gave in too.”
He scoffed incredulously at you. It wasn’t you that he was so bothered by though, it was the depths in which those people had sunk their claws into your psyche that irked him so deeply. Grasping at your jaw so you’d look him in the eyes, the solemn expression on his face made you shiver. 
“How are you any better? Because you wanted it this time, and so did I.” He emphasized, and your damp face flushed furiously at his words. “Don’t you dare fucking compare what they did to you to what happened back there.”
Clutching at the wrist of the hand that grasped you, you tugged at it to no avail, shaking your head once again against his hand. 
“You don’t get it—”
“Oh, I don’t?” Another menacingly bitter laugh slipped past his lips. “You don’t think I grew up hearing the same bullshit? That I had to beg forgiveness for shit that wasn’t my responsibility to be sorry for?” 
The grip you had around his wrist faltered as his words sunk in. You allowed your eyes to rake over his tattooed face, as though you couldn’t believe that someone who appeared so starkly different than you had once absorbed the very lessons that had placed you before him in the first place. 
“I had a twin, you know— least I was supposed to. Preacher used to tell my mom that God took her baby away because she gave into temptation out of wedlock.” 
The tremble in your bottom lip didn’t stop him from driving his point home, not even when your eyes began to pool once again with regret. 
“You know I still remember that damn verse line for line? No matter how much I tried to forget it.” Sukuna’s desolate tone continued to tug at your heartstrings, but it was almost freeing to hear that perhaps you weren’t the only one forced by your circumstances to question the faith that had been thrust upon you. “‘But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away from his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.’”
His thumb reached up to swipe at the fresh tears that began to fall from your sorrowful eyes despite the fact that it was his grief that was filling the space between you. He had finished his drawn out battle against his own spirit long ago though. 
“You think that’s what I am? Death conceived? That I was a punishment from God cause my mom wanted to fool around?”
“No— I don’t think that.” You finally cried out firmly, and it was the first decision you’d made in quite awhile that you felt confident in. “You’re none of those things. I won’t believe that.”
“How do you know that?” He tested, drawing you closer to him with a burning desire to kiss away each tear that dared disturb that kind face of yours.
“Because you’re good, and you’re kind, and you’re everything they ever told me to be afraid of,” You heard the sharp inhale he tried to conceal, because of all the sharp tongues that had spat troves of profanities at him, no one had ever called him good. “But they were wrong about you, and so was I.”
Humming deeply at your explanation, he tilted his head at you. 
“So, what the fuck makes you think they were right about anything else?” 
His challenge lingered in the heavy air between you, your breaths mingling as you stared down at the lips that had just spun your world on its axis. It had been a lifetime of being told that your body wasn’t to be trusted— that it would test and betray you time and time again. At the very least, despite the notion acting as a marionette puppetting each thought and breath you’d experienced thus far, there was some sort of safety in the familiarity of your cage. 
Still, Sukuna seemed to be awaiting you outside the confinement of your apprehension with all the beauty you once thought akin to the devil himself, but you had come to realize that he was the closest thing to holy you’d ever held within your grasp before. You wrestled with the part of you that had been conditioned to believe your worth was in your virtue and your purity, and the part of you that thought his lips were proof that man truly was created in God’s image.
He could see the storm brewing behind your apprehensive eyes, biting back the sharp lecture that was instinctively conjuring up in the back of his mind that would shake at your shoulders to snap out of the chains they’d bound your mind with. Instead, a strained sigh fanned out across your face, and he was suddenly reaching behind you to grab your abandoned necklace. 
“I’m not telling you to give all this shit up.” He murmured, twisting the cool, silver cross between his fingers.
 Looking down at the pendant, you weren’t sure that you could recall a time that it ever appeared so blinding. After a moment of contemplation, he lifted it carefully before draping it across your neck once again. Your nose brushed against his chest as he leaned forward to secure the clasp in the back. Of all the years it spent weighing down on your chest, you couldn’t help but feel that Sukuna had taken a certain weight off of it that had since been suffocating you. 
The tips of his hair tickled at your cheek as his head dipped down to press heated kisses to your jaw. Your lips parted, head falling to the side unconsciously to allow him more room. The gentle moans he was procuring from you made the corners of his lips twitch up as they trailed down your neck and left goosebumps in their wake. It wasn’t long before his descent led him to the pendant laying proudly against your chest, and he pressed a final kiss to it before lifting his head once again. 
“But don’t let it make you believe shit you don’t want to, you hear me?” You only nodded, eyes transfixed on his lips as they drew closer to yours. His thumb pressed down against your chin to hold you in place for him to offer you a fervent kiss, sighing yearningly into you before pulling back. “If I’m not a sin then you sure as hell aren’t one either.”
You smiled softly at his words, chasing his lips while your hands twisted more confidently up his nape and into his hair. 
Truthfully, you weren’t sure if it mattered to you anymore whether or not Sukuna was sin incarnate, or a test of your faith, or God’s punishment to an unholy woman, or whatever it was that your father would so ardently convince you of. Right now, his hands were traversing your waist with a tenderness no man had ever bestowed upon you, and his heathen tongue was knocking at your lips in search of permission to enter. You understood more with every inch of you he kissed why Lucifer had fallen from grace with the hope of being worshipped himself.
Your father, if he was even looking for the daughter that had fled from his feigned mercy, would simply have to forgive you of your sins.
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a/n: where my ethel cain girlies at
masterlist | requests | talk to me ❤︎
I love hearing everyone's thoughts! ◝⠀(ᵔᵕᵔ)⠀◜
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cceana · 3 days ago
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Arcane Highschool!AU 2
characters - vi, caitlyn, jinx, sevika, ekko, jayce and viktor content - 6.1k words, part 1 here, established relationships except for vi's, Star athlete!vi x band!reader, Childhoodbestfriend!caitlyn, New kid!jinx x Class president!reader, Troublemaker!sevika x Tutor!reader, Artist!ekko x Muse!reader, Bestfriend!jayce, and Enemies to lovers!viktor
A/N - lmaoo.. sorry yall for not posting for like a really long time ;-; studied my azz off last week which was def worth it cuz i did so feaking well on that exam hehe. this was lowk rushed bcuz i rlly wanted to post. hope yall enjoy queens (> 3 <)
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— Star Athlete!vi and Band!reader
The weeks following that unexpected late-night moment between you two felt different—charged with something new, something unspoken but lingering in the air. It wasn’t just the occasional brush of hands when walking side by side, or the way she’d glance at you across the cafeteria before looking away just a little too fast. It was the warmth in her voice when she teased you, the way she stuck around after practice just to sit beside you while you tuned your instrument.
She never said why she stayed. You never asked.
But you both knew.
It started with one call—past midnight, your phone buzzing against your nightstand.
“I can’t sleep,” she said when you answered, her voice rough with exhaustion.
You could hear the faint sound of cars passing outside, the rustle of her shifting under the covers.
“You’re calling me because you can’t sleep?” you murmured, trying to ignore the way your heart pounded at the thought of her thinking about you this late.
“Yeah,” she admitted. A pause. “Your voice is kinda nice.”
Heat rushed to your face. “Oh.”
“Don’t get a big head about it.”
You smiled, rolling onto your side.
From that night on, the calls became routine. Sometimes she ranted about her coach pushing her too hard. Sometimes you talked about your music, your fingers unconsciously tracing the melodies you’d played that day. Other times, you simply listened to each other breathe, neither willing to hang up first.
one day, she told you about a celebration party her teammates where hosting
She invited you.
“It won’t be the worst thing ever,” she had said, arms crossed as she leaned against your locker. “Just show up for a little bit.”
You’d raised an eyebrow. “Since when did you want me at parties?”
Her lips had twitched, almost like she was fighting back a smirk. “Since I realized you never leave that damn band room. It’s tragic, really.”
So here you were, awkwardly lingering near the kitchen, nursing a half-empty cup of soda while bodies moved and music pulsed around you.
And she? She was in the center of it all—laughing, drinking, surrounded by teammates who treated her like some kind of legend. She belonged here, in the chaos and the noise.
You? Not so much.
You should have left an hour ago, but something held you in place. Maybe it was the way she kept glancing at you between conversations, like she was making sure you were still there. Or maybe it was the warmth in her eyes whenever your gazes met.
Either way, you weren’t leaving just yet.
You had just decided to step outside for some air when you felt a strong hand wrap around your wrist.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
You turned, blinking up at her. She was closer than expected, her usual cocky smirk in place—but there was something else in her expression, something tense.
“Just getting some air,” you replied. “It’s suffocating in here.”
She hesitated, then nodded. “Come on.”
Before you could respond, she was leading you out the back door, weaving through the crowd with ease. The cool night air hit you instantly, a sharp contrast to the heat of the party.
You leaned against the railing of the back porch, inhaling deeply. “Finally.”
She chuckled beside you, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Didn’t think you’d actually come tonight.”
You shot her a look. “You asked me to.”
She was quiet for a moment, staring out into the night. Then, in a voice softer than you’d ever heard from her, she said, “Yeah. I did.”
Something about the way she said it sent your heartbeat into a sprint.
You shifted, watching her carefully. “Why?”
She exhaled slowly, running a hand through her hair. “Because I wanted you here.”
Your breath caught.
She turned to face you fully now, her expression serious—no teasing smirk, no sarcastic remark to deflect. Just raw honesty.
“I know I’m not the easiest person to be around,” she started, voice steady but laced with something vulnerable. “I’m stubborn, I’m hot-headed, and I probably piss you off at least twice a day.”
You huffed out a quiet laugh. “At least.”
Her lips quirked up slightly before she continued. “But you… you’re different. You challenge me. You don’t put up with my crap, and somehow, you still—” She exhaled sharply, shaking her head. “I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Your heart pounded so hard you were sure she could hear it.
“I keep catching myself looking for you in a crowd,” she admitted, shifting her weight like she was forcing herself to stay still. “I wait outside your rehearsals, even when I could’ve left. I call you at night because your voice is the only thing that makes me feel like the world isn’t spinning too fast.”
She took a shaky breath.
“I like you.”
The words hung between you, thick with weight, with meaning.
“I don’t just like you, actually,” she corrected, her voice barely above a whisper now. “I—I think I’m falling for you.”
You stared at her, stunned, unable to form words.
Her fingers flexed at her sides, like she was bracing for rejection. “If that’s weird, or if you don’t feel the same, just—”
You stepped forward before she could finish, reaching for her hand.
She froze as your fingers slid between hers, as you squeezed lightly.
“You idiot,” you murmured, your chest aching with something overwhelming. “I’ve been falling for you this whole time.”
Her eyes widened slightly, like she hadn’t fully considered that possibility.
Then, after a beat, she huffed out a laugh. “God, we’re dumb.”
You grinned. “Yeah. A little bit.”
For the first time in what felt like forever, she looked nervous. “Can I—?”
You didn’t let her finish. Instead, you pulled her down into a kiss.
It wasn’t perfect—she was clumsy, caught off guard, but warm and sure the moment she realized what was happening. One of her hands came up to cup your face, rough and calloused but impossibly gentle.
When you finally pulled away, she was breathless, eyes flickering between yours.
“So,” she murmured, voice lower now. “Does this mean I can start calling you my girlfriend?”
You rolled your eyes, laughing softly. “You’re insufferable.”
“And you like it.”
You sighed dramatically, pretending to think. “Unfortunately.”
She grinned, lacing your fingers together. “Good.”
And as she pulled you back inside—back into the noise and the chaos of the party—it didn’t feel overwhelming anymore.
Not when she was right beside you.
Not when she was yours.
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— Childhood Bestfriend!caitlyn
The days that followed felt like something out of a dream. The kind of dream you never wanted to wake up from.
She had been true to her word—she didn’t want to let you go again. Every morning, you’d wake up to a good morning text, and by the afternoon, she’d have already made plans for the two of you, whether it was a quiet café visit, a stroll through the city, or simply lounging in her estate’s massive library, reminiscing about the past between pages of old books.
She had slipped back into your life as if she had never left it.
And yet, there was something new about this—something deeper, sweeter
Like the way she’d always find an excuse to touch you, whether it was resting her head on your shoulder when she was tired, bumping her knee against yours under the table, or absentmindedly playing with your fingers when you sat next to each other.
Or the way she would wait for you. Even when she was drowning in responsibilities, she would insist on having lunch together, texting you just to tell you something random about her day.
Or the way she’d steal your snacks.
Without fail, if you had food, she would somehow find a way to take at least a bite. “Sharing is caring,” she’d say, plucking a fry from your plate before you could react. And if you tried to call her out on it? She’d just smirk, pop whatever she took into her mouth, and say, “You love me, so it doesn’t count as stealing.”
(And you couldn’t even argue. Because she was right.)
Then there were the nights.
Those were your favorite.
She was always busiest during the day, but at night? That was when she really let herself be soft with you.
Like when you’d both curl up on the couch, watching movies that neither of you paid attention to because she was too busy tracing lazy patterns against your arm, or playing with your fingers, or resting her head in your lap with the most peaceful look on her face.
Or the nights when she’d show up at your door unannounced, eyes heavy with exhaustion but still full of warmth as she mumbled, “Just needed to see you.”
You’d let her in without question, and she’d collapse onto your bed with a tired sigh, reaching for you without hesitation. “Come here,” she’d murmur, voice softer than usual, more vulnerable. And when you settled next to her, she’d just hold you, burying her face against your neck, breathing you in like you were the only thing keeping her steady.
Or—your personal favorite—the way she looked at you.
Soft. Fond. Like you were the most precious thing she had ever laid eyes on.
One evening, as you sat curled up on the couch in her study, she nudged you with her foot. “Hey.”
You looked up from your book. “Hmm?”
She grinned. “Let’s make cupcakes.”
You blinked. “What?”
“I want cupcakes,” she repeated matter-of-factly, already standing up and stretching. “And I want to make them with you.”
You laughed, setting your book aside. “Since when do you bake?”
“I don’t,” she admitted, offering a hand to pull you up. “But I’m a fast learner. Come on.”
You sighed but let her drag you to the kitchen. What followed was absolute chaos.
Flour on the counter, sugar accidentally spilled on the floor, a mess of ingredients neither of you fully measured properly. She kept getting distracted, flicking flour at you, grinning mischievously every time you yelped in protest.
At some point, she wrapped her arms around you from behind, resting her chin on your shoulder as you mixed the batter. “I think we make a good team.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s because I’m doing all the work.”
She hummed, tightening her hold on you slightly. “And you do it so well.”
Your cheeks burned. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And you love it.”
You sighed dramatically. “Unfortunately.”
She laughed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before pulling away. “Okay, okay, let’s get these in the oven before I distract you too much.”
Too late, you thought, but you didn’t say it aloud.
Instead, you watched as she carefully placed the tray in the oven, a proud gleam in her eyes despite the fact that neither of you had any idea if the cookies would even taste good.
It didn’t really matter.
Because moments like this—messy, chaotic, ridiculous moments with her—were worth more than any perfect, scripted day.
And when the cupcakes came out horribly burnt, she just laughed, tossed one to you, and said, “Guess we’ll have to try again tomorrow.”
And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.
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— New kid!jinx and Class president!reader
Loving her was like standing in the eye of a storm—unpredictable, consuming, and just a little dangerous.
But you never wanted to be anywhere else.
She was everything you weren’t. But in the same way that she crashed into your life like a hurricane, she had also settled into it, leaving pieces of herself in all the places she had touched.
And now, she was everywhere.
You didn’t even know when it happened, but somewhere between her dragging you into trouble and worming her way into your perfectly structured life, she had become a permanent fixture.
No, more than that.
She had become yours.
Your mornings were different now.
Instead of waking up to your alarm and immediately drowning in responsibilities, you woke up to her texts.
chaos incarnate: WAKE UP chaos incarnate: pres, you better not be ignoring me chaos incarnate: hello?? chaos incarnate: fine. i’m calling you.
And then, not even a second later, your phone would start ringing.
You groaned, answering it without opening your eyes. “You’re the worst.”
“Good morning to you too, babe.”
You sighed, rolling over. “It’s four a.m.”
“Yeah, well, I missed you.”
Your heart stuttered, heat rising to your cheeks.
You hated how easily she did that.
“…We saw each other yesterday.”
“And? That was a whole eight hours ago.”
You groaned again, but this time, you couldn’t fight the smile spreading across your lips.
The entire school knew about you two.
Not because you told anyone, but because she made it impossible not to know.
She’d sling an arm over your shoulder in the halls, leaning in obnoxiously close just to see you flustered.
She’d steal your lunch, even if she had her own, just to make you roll your eyes and huff at her—because, according to her, you looked cute when you were annoyed.
She’d sit in on student council meetings—uninvited—kicking her feet up on the table like she belonged there, just to watch you glare at her.
And if anyone so much as looked at you for too long?
She’d pull you closer, smirking as she draped herself over you and drawled, “Mine.”
You pretended to be exasperated by it all.
You weren’t.
One second, she was smirking at you from across the room, her gaze sharp, teasing, full of something wild you could never quite pin down. The next, she was leaning against your desk, spinning a pen between her fingers as she sighed dramatically about how boring the student council meetings were, just to get a reaction out of you.
And sometimes—when no one else was around—she’d be quiet. Soft. Like a storm that had momentarily calmed, if only for you.
It was confusing. It was frustrating.
But it was also thrilling.
You never knew what she’d do next, but somehow, you always ended up right there with her.
“We’re skipping.”
You blinked up at her from your pile of papers. “What?”
She grinned, already grabbing your wrist, tugging you out of your chair. “I said, we’re skipping. Come on.”
You pulled back instinctively. “I can’t. I have to finish—”
“Boring,” she cut in, rolling her eyes. “You work too much. If you spend one more hour staring at those papers, you’ll turn into one.”
You crossed your arms. “And you get into trouble too much.”
She smirked. “Yeah? And yet, here you are, still standing next to me.”
You sighed, but the fight was already slipping out of you. With her, it always did.
She took advantage of your hesitation, intertwining her fingers with yours, and your heart definitely didn’t just stutter in your chest.
“Come on,” she murmured, giving your hand a squeeze. “Just for a little while?”
And just like that, you were done for.
The two of you ended up on the rooftop, the one place where no one ever checked.
She sat on the ledge, legs swinging slightly, looking up at the sky like she had never seen it before.
For a moment, she was quiet. Contemplative.
Then, without looking at you, she spoke.
“You know, you’re the only person who’s ever stuck around.”
The words were soft, but something about them hit harder than anything she had ever said before.
You swallowed, watching her carefully. “You don’t make it easy.”
She laughed, a little breathless. “No. I don’t.”
Silence settled between you, comfortable in a way you never expected.
Then, before you could think too much about it, you reached out, gently brushing your fingers against hers where they rested on the ledge.
She went completely still.
You hesitated, pulling back slightly, but she caught your hand before you could.
Her grip was tight—like she was afraid you’d disappear if she let go.
“You drive me crazy,” she muttered, shaking her head. “You’re stubborn, and you worry too much, and you never break the rules.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Thanks?”
She huffed, exasperated, before turning to face you fully.
And then—before you could react—she leaned in, pressing a soft, fleeting kiss to your cheek.
Your brain short-circuited.
She pulled back, smirking at your stunned expression, but there was something warm in her eyes, something real.
“You’re mine now,” she declared, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
You opened your mouth—probably to protest, maybe to demand an explanation—but she just squeezed your hand again, tilting her head at you.
“…Unless you don’t want to be.”
You swallowed, heartbeat hammering in your chest.
And then, slowly, you laced your fingers through hers properly, squeezing back.
“…I think I do.”
Her smirk softened into something almost gentle.
“Good,” she murmured.
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— Troublemaker!sevika and Tutor!reader
You weren’t sure when this became normal.
When tutoring sessions turned into something more—into lingering glances across textbooks, into stolen moments between classes, into a relationship that neither of you ever really talked about, but both of you knew was real.
It had started with her grumbling about the stupid school system, about how she didn’t need to study when she had “better things to do.” But now? Now, she was here—on time, every time, sitting across from you with a scowl like she hadn’t just walked across campus grinning at you like an idiot when she thought no one was looking.
She had changed.
Or maybe she hadn’t, and you were just seeing her differently now.
Either way, she was yours.
And that was enough.
“You’re staring.”
You blinked, realizing that, yes, you were staring, and, yes, she was very much aware of it.
“I’m not,” you lied.
She smirked. “Yeah? Then why haven’t you flipped the page in five minutes?”
You opened your mouth, then shut it.
Damn it.
She leaned forward, resting her chin on her palm, her eyes glinting with amusement. “Didn’t take you for the distracted type, tutor.”
You sighed, closing the book. “Maybe if you actually studied, I wouldn’t have to get distracted.”
She scoffed, leaning back. “I do study.”
You gave her a look.
“Okay, fine,” she huffed. “I study when you make me.”
“Exactly.”
She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.
Instead, she tilted her head, watching you in that way that always made your stomach do something weird.
“Why do you even put up with me?” she asked.
The question caught you off guard.
Not because you didn’t have an answer, but because she sounded genuinely curious.
Like she didn’t understand why you were still here.
Like she didn’t realize how easy it was to love her.
You frowned. “Because I want to.”
She stared at you for a moment, something unreadable flickering in her expression.
Then, suddenly, she reached across the table, grabbing your hand.
It wasn’t gentle.
It never was with her.
But her grip was warm, steady, real.
“…Good,” she muttered, squeezing your fingers once before pulling away. “You’re stuck with me, anyway.”
You smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Dating her meant learning to navigate her world.
The world of bruised knuckles and reckless grins, of sharp words and sharper instincts, of someone who had spent so long fighting that she didn’t know how to stop.
You didn’t mind.
She never hurt you—not really.
But sometimes, she’d show up to your study sessions with a fresh cut on her cheek, or a bandage wrapped around her hand, or a bruise blooming on her jaw, and every time, you’d sigh, pulling out your first aid kit without saying a word.
She hated it.
“You don’t have to—”
“I do.”
She huffed but didn’t pull away, letting you press a cotton pad to her cheek, wincing when the antiseptic stung.
“Idiot,” you muttered, brushing your thumb over her skin after you were done.
She smirked. “You love me.”
You didn’t argue.
Instead, you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the uninjured side of her face.
She tensed for half a second before melting into it, her fingers curling around your wrist, holding you in place like she never wanted you to leave.
“…Yeah,” you murmured. “I do.”
There were other parts of her world, too.
Parts that had nothing to do with fights or scraped knuckles.
Like how she always walked you home, no matter how many times you told her she didn’t need to.
Or how she’d steal your pens just to hear you complain about it, only to return them later with a smug grin.
Or how she’d grumble about studying, but when you fell asleep next to her, she’d pull a blanket over you without saying a word.
Or how she’d stay, even when she didn’t have to.
She wasn’t the best with words.
But she didn’t need to be.
Not when she loved you like this.
“Hey,” she called one day, leaning against your locker.
You raised a brow. “What?”
She didn’t answer immediately.
Instead, she shifted, suddenly looking a little… awkward.
Which was weird, because she was never awkward.
You frowned. “Are you—”
“I got you something,” she blurted out.
You blinked. “You what?”
She huffed, shoving something into your hands.
It was… a necklace. Simple, understated. Something you would actually wear.
You stared at it, then at her.
“…Why?”
She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “Because I wanted to.”
You looked down at it again, running your fingers over the chain.
It was nice.
And it was from her.
Your heart did that weird thing again.
“…Put it on me?” you asked softly, handing it back.
She blinked, like she hadn’t expected that, before scoffing. “You really like making me do things, don’t you?”
You smiled. “Yes.”
She muttered something under her breath but moved behind you, fastening the clasp.
Her fingers brushed against your skin, and you shivered.
“…There,” she murmured.
You turned back to her, letting her see the way you were smiling. “Thank you.”
She shrugged, but her ears were red.
You grinned.
Then, impulsively, you reached up, cupping her face in your hands before pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.
She froze.
“…You absolute menace,” she muttered after a second, her voice half-choked.
You laughed. “You love me.”
She groaned. “I hate you.”
But the way she grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together as she pulled you down the hall?
That told a very different story.
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— Artist!ekko and Muse!reader
The world felt different when he painted you.
Maybe it was the way his eyes softened as they traced your features, the way his lips quirked up ever so slightly in that absentminded, faraway smile. Or maybe it was the way he became so completely immersed in the moment, like nothing else existed except you, him, and the quiet hum of creation between you.
You weren’t sure when it had started—when you had become his muse, when his hands had memorized the slopes and curves of your expression more intimately than you ever could. But at some point, it became normal to sit in his studio, to let him paint you while the sun spilled golden light across the room.
At some point, it became home.
"Stay still," he murmured, his voice soft but firm.
You huffed but obeyed, shifting just slightly to get comfortable. “You know, I’m starting to think you just tell me that so I don’t walk away.”
He smirked without looking up. “Would it work?”
You rolled your eyes. “Obviously.”
He chuckled, dipping his brush into a fresh stroke of color. "Then I don’t see the problem."
You watched him work, watched the way his fingers moved with practiced precision, his brow furrowing in deep focus.
It was so like him—to get completely lost in his art, in the way he captured emotions in strokes of paint. You weren’t even sure he realized how much he gave away when he worked. The quiet admiration, the unwavering patience, the unspoken tenderness in the way he committed you to canvas.
The thought made warmth curl in your chest.
He loved you.
Even in the moments when he didn’t say it outright, you felt it.
“…You’re staring,” he noted after a moment, amusement dancing in his tone.
You smirked. "So?"
"So," he mused, dabbing a final stroke onto the canvas before finally looking at you, "stay still."
You scoffed but didn’t argue.
His gaze lingered, studying you like he was committing every detail to memory.
Then, suddenly, he set the brush down, wiping his hands on a cloth before standing up and making his way toward you.
Your brows furrowed. "Are we done?"
He hummed, stopping right in front of you. "Almost."
Before you could question him, he reached out, gently swiping his thumb across your cheek.
You blinked.
“…Did you just wipe paint on me?”
His lips twitched. "Maybe."
Your jaw dropped. "You menace—"
He laughed, grabbing your hands before you could retaliate. "It’s barely anything!"
"You smudged me!"
"You’ll live."
You gasped dramatically. “I can feel it on my face—”
"Would you like me to fix it?"
You squinted at him, suspicious. "How?"
He smiled. "Like this."
And then, before you could react, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, right where the paint had been.
You froze.
Your heart stumbled over itself, warmth blooming beneath your skin.
"...That doesn’t count as fixing it," you mumbled, embarrassed by how breathless you sounded.
He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his smile soft, fond.
"I disagree."
Loving him meant understanding the way he saw the world.
The way his hands itched to create, to turn fleeting emotions into something tangible.
The way he’d go silent for long stretches, caught up in his own thoughts, before suddenly dragging you into his latest project with that spark of inspiration in his eyes.
The way he loved you—not just with words, but in the way he painted you, over and over again, like he was trying to keep you forever.
And maybe, in his own way, he was.
One night, long after the city had gone quiet, you found yourself back in his studio, curled up on the couch while he worked.
You weren’t posing this time.
You were just there, watching as he sketched in his notebook, his focus unwavering even as the hours slipped by.
“…Do you ever get tired of painting me?” you asked suddenly.
He paused, looking up at you.
Then, without hesitation—"Never."
You stared at him. “You say that like it’s obvious.”
"It is obvious," he said simply, setting his notebook aside as he moved toward you.
You let him sit beside you, watching as he reached for your hand, tracing absentminded patterns along your fingers.
“…There are infinite things in the world to paint,” he murmured, his touch feather-light, reverent. “Landscapes, emotions, stories… But you?” He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your knuckles. "You are my favorite."
Your breath caught.
You weren’t used to this—to his quiet, devastating sincerity.
He didn’t always say how he felt outright. He spoke in colors, in soft touches, in lingering glances over paint-stained canvases.
But this?
This was something else entirely.
“…You’re ridiculous,” you muttered, feeling your face grow warm.
He smirked. “And you love me for it.”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t deny it.
Instead, you tugged him closer, resting your forehead against his.
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
You just existed—wrapped in warmth, in paint-stained fingertips and whispered affections between the silence.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
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— Bestfriend!jayce
There were moments where you still couldn’t believe this was real.
That after years of laughter, inside jokes, stolen hoodies, and whispered dreams of the future, you had ended up here—curled up next to him, his arm lazily draped around you, as if this had been inevitable from the very start.
In a way, maybe it was.
Loving him never felt like a sudden thing, never like some grand revelation that struck you out of nowhere. It had crept in slowly, weaving itself between every late-night conversation, every lingering glance, every touch that lasted just a little longer than it needed to.
And now? Now it was second nature.
He was yours.
And you were his.
“You’re doing that thing again.”
You blinked. “What thing?”
He smirked without looking up from his book. “The thing where you stare at me like I put the stars in the sky.”
You scoffed, shoving him playfully. “Get over yourself.”
He chuckled, finally turning his attention toward you. “Not denying it, though.”
You rolled your eyes, but the warmth creeping up your neck betrayed you. “Maybe I was just zoning out.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Or judging you.”
“Doubt it.”
You sighed, dramatic. “God, dating you is exhausting.”
“Right?” he teased. “Can’t believe you fell for me.”
“Yeah,” you muttered. “Can’t believe I did, either.”
His expression softened at that, his teasing smile melting into something fonder.
Then, suddenly, he reached out, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face before letting his fingers trail down, tracing the curve of your jaw.
“…Lucky me,” he murmured.
Your breath caught.
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
You just sat there, the warmth of his touch seeping into your skin, your heart stumbling over itself at the way he was looking at you.
Like you were something rare.
Like he had been waiting his whole life for you.
“…You’re such a sap,” you whispered.
His lips twitched. “Only for you.”
The thing about dating your best friend was that nothing really changed.
Not in the way you expected, at least.
There were still late-night fast food runs, still study sessions that turned into existential conversations, still a constant presence at your side whenever you needed him (and even when you didn’t).
But there were differences, too.
Like how he held your hand without hesitation now, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Or how he hugged you longer, pressing his face into your shoulder like he needed to be close to you.
Or how he kissed your forehead absentmindedly whenever you did something that made him proud, as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
Or how he whispered, "Love you," so casually, like he had always been saying it.
Like he always would.
“Okay, real talk,” he said one night, sprawled across your bed like he owned it.
You hummed, flipping a page in your book. “Mm?”
“If we weren’t dating, would you still have a crush on me?”
You blinked, giving him an unimpressed look. “What kind of question is that?”
“A valid one.”
You sighed, setting your book down. “We are dating.”
“But if we weren’t,” he pressed, propping himself up on his elbows. “Would you still be into me?”
You narrowed your eyes. “What kind of answer are you looking for?”
“The truth.”
You stared at him, trying to figure out what he was really asking.
Then, with a smirk, you shrugged. “Dunno. You’re kinda annoying.”
He gasped. “Rude.”
“But,” you continued, reaching over to poke his cheek, “I’d probably be in love with you anyway.”
He grinned. “Knew it.”
You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”
“Hopelessly in love.”
You groaned. “Why do I even like you?”
He laughed, grabbing your hand and lacing your fingers together.
“…Because we were always meant to end up here.”
Your breath hitched.
The words were simple, said so casually, but they settled deep in your chest, spreading warmth through your entire being.
Because he was right.
Every moment, every choice, every little thing that led to this—it had always been leading you here.
To him.
To this.
To something more than forever.
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— Enemies to lovers!viktor and reader
It still surprised you sometimes—how things had changed.
How the cold rivalry that once existed between you had melted into something warm, something constant, something that made your chest tighten in the best way whenever you so much as thought about it.
About him.
Once upon a time, you and him had been at odds with each other, a battle of sharp words and stubborn ideals. He was relentless, fiercely determined, a mind constantly working ten steps ahead. And you—well, you were the opposite. Passionate, chaotic, diving headfirst into the unknown with little concern for anything but discovery.
But now?
Now he was yours.
And God, you loved him.
“Stop working,” you whined, dramatically flopping onto his desk.
He barely spared you a glance, eyes still locked onto the notebook in front of him. “Can’t.”
“You always say that,” you huffed, watching as he furiously jotted down another equation, his pen moving like it had a will of its own.
“Because it’s always true,” he shot back, voice carrying that familiar unwavering certainty.
You rolled your eyes. “Five-minute break.”
“No.”
“Two minutes?”
“No.”
You sighed, tilting your head at him. “What could possibly be so important that you can’t take two minutes to—” You peered at his notes and blinked. “Wait. Is this…” You trailed off, recognizing the layout of a physics equation, the bold scrawl of hypotheses scattered between calculations.
He finally glanced at you, the sharp glint of his focus not dulled in the slightest. “I had a thought earlier and needed to get it down.”
You stared at him. “You had a thought so urgent that you couldn’t even pause for two seconds?”
“Yes.”
You exhaled, shaking your head. “You’re crazy”
“And you’re distracting.”
“You love me, though.”
A flicker of something softened his expression. He didn’t answer immediately, just studied you with those impossibly sharp eyes, the ones that always seemed to be unraveling the mysteries of the universe—except, in that moment, they were solely on you.
“Yeah,” he murmured eventually, the intensity of it making your breath catch. “I do.”
It was rare, hearing it outright like that. He wasn’t one for grand proclamations, but when he did speak—when he let himself be honest—it always hit you like a tidal wave.
You swallowed, warmth pooling in your chest. “Then take a break.”
He sighed, exasperated but amused. Then, to your utter delight, he set his pen down.
“Two minutes,” he relented.
You grinned, holding out your arms. “Hug me.”
He stared. “…Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.”
For a moment, he just looked at you, like he was analyzing the request for its deeper meaning. Then, without another word, he leaned forward and pulled you against him.
You melted instantly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. His arms were strong, steady—the kind of embrace that felt unshakable, like he would hold the entire world together if it meant keeping you safe.
“…Better?” he murmured.
You nodded against him. “Much.”
His fingers lingered at your back, just the faintest trace of hesitation before he fully gave in, relaxing into the embrace.
And neither of you let go.
Dating him had been an adjustment.
He wasn’t the kind to wear his emotions on his sleeve. He was driven, always looking forward, always chasing after the next big thing. His brain never stopped, his heart never wavered, his ambition burning like an unstoppable fire.
Which meant he showed affection in his own way.
Like the way he never actually said I love you, but instead muttered things like, don’t forget to eat or stay inside, it’s cold.
Like the way he pretended to be annoyed when you interrupted his work, only to immediately pull you back when you tried to leave.
Like the way he sighed every time you teased him, only to let you lace your fingers with his under desks, his grip never faltering.
And the thing was?
You wouldn’t trade it for anything.
One evening, you were in the library together, him completely immersed in his research while you doodled aimlessly in your notebook.
The silence was comfortable, the kind that had become second nature between you.
Then, suddenly—
“…You make me reckless.”
You blinked. “Uh. Excuse me?”
He didn’t look up, his fingers tapping idly against the table. “You make me reckless,” he repeated, almost contemplative. “It’s irritating.”
You squinted at him. “Are you… saying you love me?”
He hummed. “Statistically, it would be hard to deny.”
Your heart stumbled over itself. “Oh my God.”
He finally looked up, arching a brow. “What?”
“You just confessed your love for me like it was a scientific fact.”
“…And?”
You let out a laugh, completely endeared. “You’re unbelievable.”
He rolled his eyes but didn’t look annoyed. If anything, there was something fond in the way he regarded you, something soft in the way he reached out, tapping his fingers against your wrist.
“…You already knew,” he murmured.
It wasn’t a question.
Because of course you knew.
You had known for a long time now.
But hearing it—even in his own, methodical way—still sent warmth flooding through your entire being.
You smiled.
“Yeah,” you whispered, reaching for his hand, lacing your fingers together. “I did.”
And if he squeezed your hand just a little tighter?
Well.
You didn’t mention it.
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352 notes · View notes
brawberryz · 3 days ago
Text
Please don't leave me alone
Batfam Yan! × Eva Pilot! Reader
Note:English is not my first language, sorry if there is any translation error
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You were a normal student
Or well almost nothing was normal in this world, but in your life it was pretty normal
You were a first year student, you weren't very sociable but it's not like you didn't have friends either. You were the middle point of being someone extroverted and introverted
But that's not the main issue, a few days ago you had received a letter from your father, father...
Years ago you hadn't heard from him, well when you were younger you remembered him but since the incident you haven't seen him anymore
Since then you have been living with your teacher, he was a good guy and he was a good father figure for your depressed self
You didn't imagine that after so much time your father would want to talk to you although you didn't complain
You were in front of a telephone booth, you were trying to contact the boy in the photo which your father had sent to look for you
Richard "Dick" Grayson
But your attempts failed, all the telephone lines were cut so it was impossible to have some kind of contact, apparently it was because of the attack of something, you didn't know very well what but the streets were empty so it must be something serious and dangerous
"Ugh, I shouldn't be here..."
You said as you left the phone and picked up your bag, you were still in your school uniform, they hadn't even given you time to change, now you were here in the middle of an abandoned city with no signal
"I guess it won't make it in time, I should go to some shelter"
You said letting out a long sigh, you knew it wasn't a good idea to listen and come to this place, but your desire to be able to see your father after so long won but you were slowly regretting that
You put your bag on your shoulder and began to walk through the abandoned streets trying to find some kind of shelter to protect yourself
But before you could do anything a loud explosion was heard near you made the whole city shake like some kind of earthquake or schism, that explosion could have easily damaged your eardrums and made them bleed
"What's going on..."
You said scared looking up right where like some "airplanes?" Strangers came out of a place
And there you saw it... a giant thing maybe bigger than a 30-story building, it was too scary you had never seen anything like that before, your body was in shock and you weren't able to move
You tried with all your might to make your body react in some way but it was impossible, it was as if your feet were stuck to the ground
Some large missiles passed close to you and you instinctively crouched down protecting your head, whatever that thing was was too dangerous
You saw how those missiles barely did any damage to that creature, what kind of strange monster was that creature, the only thing you could do was watch in a daze as the fight developed
The creature threw something from its hands causing one of the planes to fall and to your bad luck it fell right next to you, you could barely react when the plane fell in front of you, you were lucky not to be crushed
But it seems luck was not on your side today (if it ever was) You were lucky) there was another explosion and the creature staggered towards you causing its foot to step on the plane causing a huge explosion, you fell to the ground and tried to cover yourself with your arms accepting your end
But you didn't feel anything, you heard the sound of a car braking hard in front of you and the door opening, you looked up and saw it
"Come in, sorry for being late"
The boy said giving you a sad smile, you could barely process everything that was happening it was too much for your poor teenage brain
"What are you waiting for? Come in now!"
The boy spoke again, it felt more like an order than a request, you quickly came out of your state of shock and quickly climbed into the passenger seat, buckling your seat belt tightly.
"Hold on tight, this is going to be a bit of a dangerous ride."
Before you could respond, Richard accelerated the car as fast as he could before the car was run over by the creature.
He drove as fast as the car would allow him until he reached a more remote place, you felt like you were about to die from the car flipping so much.
After a few minutes, Richard stopped on a small hill in the distance, he let out a sigh of relief and then turned his gaze to you.
"Sorry about that, I know it was too much to process but- wait a minute."
Richard stopped talking in the middle of his sentence as soon as he saw something in the window, he quickly took out a pair of binoculars from a small drawer in the car.
He quickly moved closer to the car window to see more clearly.
"Wait a minute, are they going to use the N-2 mine!?"
Richard said in surprise before grabbing your arm and pulling you against him to use his body as a shield.
"Bend down and hold on to me!"
You barely had time to react when a huge explosion was heard making everything nearby shake, with so many explosions you heard today you swore you were about to go deaf
A strong gust hit the car causing it to fall and spin around on the ground, you felt Richard hug you tighter, he wasn't going to allow you to get hurt in any way and if that meant he had to be some kind of human shield he was going to be
After a few minutes things calmed down and they were able to get out of the car unharmed
"Hey little one, are you okay?"
Richard asked worriedly looking at you on the ground trying to calm your labored breathing
"Yes...yes I'm fine"
You gave him a half smile, so many things had happened in less than 1 hour and your head was only full of doubts and more doubts
You just wanted to go home and have that monotonous life
"Okay, now help push the car"
You just nodded getting up from the ground and shaking off your uniform, you helped him push the car with all your strength
It was difficult the car was too heavy but after a few minutes they were able to do it
"Thanks for the help, (name)"
He gave you a grateful smile, he gave you a small pat on the head
"Don't worry, I should be the one who should thank you, thanks grayson"
You said shyly, in a way you were grateful that he had risked his life to protect you
"Just call me Richard, there's no need to be so formal"
You just nodded and then got into the car with him. It was going to be a long trip, but you felt a little safe with him. It was like having an older brother.
_
"This place is so big!"
You said in amazement walking through the large facilities, you had never been in a place like this
NORV was an amazing place, you couldn't believe that you were going to have something to do with this place
"Too big I would say.."
Richard said as he looked at a map of the place, he hadn't remembered that the place would be so confusing and giant
The two of you were going down an escalator, you were too focused on reading the manual that Richard had given you to pay attention to your surroundings
"I wonder where Barbara is..." he said in a small whisper "I'm sorry, I don't know the place that well"
The boy said embarrassed, you just nodded without paying much attention to what he was saying
You were walking for a few minutes until you reached a hallway
"I think it should be here, follow me"
He said grabbing your arm, you weren't going to tell him out loud but it bothers you a little that you touched you so freely, you felt that he had gained too much confidence in such a short time and that made you uncomfortable, he barely gave you your personal space and treated you as if he had known you all your life
You just made a small sound of acceptance and then continued walking, you got into a small elevator and you were there for a few seconds
Just when the elevator opened a red-haired woman appeared with a serious expression looking at Richard
"Ah!, hello Barbara, how long?"
Richard said greeting her with a smile, you just kept your eyes on the book pretending not to pay attention
The girl just nodded and got into the elevator with you
"I could say the same..."
She said in a monotone as she leaned against the wall of the elevator, Richard let out an awkward laugh as he adjusted his uniform
You just pretended not to feel the awkward atmosphere that the two of them radiated together
"Is this the girl Bruce was talking about?"
Barbara pointed at you, you just shrank further into your book
"Yes, the institute reported to us that she is the third kid chosen"
Mmm, I see, well it's nice to meet you"
He gave you a small smile as he gave your shoulders a small squeeze
"Likewise"
You nodded nervously, you returned your attention to the book at this moment you felt that your only safe place was this manual on the NORV facilities
"You and your father look so alike, it seems that neither of you are able to smile or show your emotions"
Richard let out a small laugh as he said that, Barbara simply nodded at Richard's poorly made joke
They continued to go up in the elevator, they began to talk about something that you didn't really understand nor did you care
They exited the elevator and arrived at a hallway, just as the three of them arrived and entered the door slammed
"I-it's really dark!"
You said confused, it's not that you were afraid of the dark you were just afraid of not seeing your way and tripping over something
But before anyone could answer the light went out Suddenly it turned on
And there it was, it was the biggest robot you had ever seen in your life, you could only see its head but it still looked big, it was buried in a bright pink liquid you wanted to ask what it was but you decided not to say anything
You decided to flip through the book to see if you could find any information about this giant robot
"You won't find any information there"
Barbara said staring at you
"Uh..."
You looked at her confused as you listened to what she was saying
"This is the latest combat weapons system created by humans, an artificial life form called...evangelion or in a few words unit 01"
You just nodded at all the information you received, you barely understood what she was telling you, this was too much to understand for a teenager like you
"Is this what my father does?"
You asked curiously staring at Barbara
"You got closer, congratulations, (name)"
You heard A voice, one you recognized all too well, you looked up and there he was
Watching you from a window above, it seemed as if nothing had changed he still had that cold and disinterested look he always gave you when you were younger
"D-dad..."
You said in shock, so much time had passed that you didn't even know how to start a conversation with him, what should you tell the man who left you for more than 10 years
"Activate the Eva"
Bruce said bluntly as he stared at you
"Activate the Eva!? But unit 01 is still in preliminary phase, did they lose their minds?"
Richard couldn't believe what Bruce was asking, it was too dangerous for you to get on that Eva, you could easily die or get hurt
The mere thought of you being hurt made Richard's stomach turn, he wasn't going to allow another innocent child to get hurt to fulfill Bruce's whims
"We have no choice, Richard"
Barbara said dryly
"But Damian is too hurt to be able to be a pilot and (Name) doesn't even know how to fly one!"
Richard tried to get Barbara or Bruce to see reason but his attempts were only ignored
"Well today he will learn, are you ready (name)?"
Barbara turned her gaze to you, you swallowed hard you felt too scared and confused were you supposed to get into that thing!?
"What...really?"
You said confused
"Yes..."
No There was time, all the pilots they had were too injured to be able to handle any Eva, (name) was the last salvation
The angel was approaching and causing destruction in its path, it was now or never, the fate of the world right now weighed on your shoulders
"But it took Damian more than 6 months to synchronize with the Eva! She barely arrived and if it's too dangerous and she won't stand it, have you thought about that!?"
Richard got defensive again trying to get Barbara to see reason
" (name) just needs to get into the capsule and everything will be fine" Barbara said "But-" Before Richard could speak again Barbara interrupted him "defending humanity from the angels is our highest priority, we need someone to be able to synchronize with the Eva even if the chances are almost zero"
Richard just stayed quiet, he knew she was right but he didn't want to admit it, he hated the way he felt his heart tighten every time he thought about the possibility of you getting hurt or worse yet dead
"Fine, but if something happens to (name), you'll regret it"
Richard spoke in a somber tone looking at Barbara, the woman just looked at him for a few seconds before just nodding
"Okay, (name) get ready you'll get on the Eva"
You just nodded, you didn't know what was about to happen but you didn't like it
_
You had woken up in a hospital bed, your whole body hurt, you felt like you had a bandage on your left eye
You barely had time to react when the door opened abruptly, there was Richard
He had a worried look on his face, before you could say anything he launched himself at you giving you a big hug
"(Name)! Thank god you'are okay I thought you were going to die..."
He said hugging you tighter, you didn't know what he meant by that you could barely remember what had happened but you thought that finally you were going to be able to be calm
But how wrong you were
The days passed faster than you would like, you were accepted to be an Eva pilot
It seems that in your fight with the angel the Eva went into an aggressive mode and controlled itself while you were in a state of shock
During your short time being an Eva pilot you learned to control it better But you still hated handling it
You managed to meet other Eva pilots called Tim and Damian
Tim was very talkative not as much as Richard but he still talked a lot, you made a small friendship with him
With Damian it didn't go so well, he was too quiet it seemed as if he had no emotions, you simply decided to leave him since you thought he didn't like you
Days passed and you met more people like Jason, stehp, Cass and Duke
Some were retired pilots and others who helped repair the Evas like Jason and Stehp
For the first time you felt important as if you really mattered
Too bad that happiness ends little by little
Every day that passed you felt like each one of them became more possessive and weird
Every time you met someone other than them that person disappeared out of nowhere
Every time you came back from a fight with an angel and was too hurt Richard treated you like a fucking baby
And you hated him too much, you were old enough to be able to take care of such superficial wounds
They didn't even let you be with other people other than them, they even fought to see who would sit with you at lunch, in those cases you simply went to your room to lock yourself in and eat
But you didn't even feel safe there, the last time you checked your room to clean it you found a hidden camera among your things, and there was only one person who would be able to do that
Bruce, that son of a bitch you swore that if you saw him again you would kill him
But you knew very well that you would never You were going to be able to do it
You had no one, Bruce was the only family you had left out there you were no one, not even your mother her death was still engraved in your head, you still had nightmares about it
The only thing you could do was ignore all of that and pretend it didn't affect you
You felt like you were tangled in a spider web and every time you moved you only got more tangled
Maybe you should just stop moving and hope that maybe at some point those spider webs would loosen and you could get out
But you knew it wasn't true
You were trapped just like an insect, being the spider's prey and you would stay trapped there until your body is completely rotted
Dying there without being able to be free again
What's the point of living if you're not even able to enjoy life
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If you see any similarity with Evangelion chapter 1, it is literally lol
So far I think this is the longest one shot I wrote
I hope the person who asked me for this enjoys it, I'm really happy with the result
Maybe I'll do other one shots about this Evangelion AU 🔥
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hoonieyun · 2 days ago
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a lovesick girl's guide to heartbreak
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˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ex!heeseung x reader hell is not the same without you... summary: you thought everything was going well 3 months after your breakup with your ex-boyfriend!heeseung until you realized that maybe you miss him more than you hated being with him.
warnings: profanity, toxic relationships, morally grey characters, huge red flags in dating, consensual skinship, kissing, overall 18+ wc: 2332
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something was missing, like there was a looming feeling that there was something absent from your daily life and as hard as you tried to push down that feeling and act like it wasn’t there; it was all your mind drifted off to. 
the missing thing in question? heeseung. 
your boyfriend of 2 years.. ex-boyfriend that is. the two of you had broken up just a few months ago and since that day you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. sure a lot of the thoughts that surrounded heeseung that swam in your mind were negative and left a sour taste on your tongue, but then it would lead to you thinking about all of the sweet things he’d do to make up for the bitterness he put you through. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 
“why can’t you just listen to me?” you shouted from the top of your lungs as heeseung rolled his eyes with an aggravated sigh. “i’d listen to you if you weren’t acting like this! you’re so emotional!” he yelled back. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 
several memories replayed in your head involving heeseung, you wished you didn’t have to think about it but after you left him it felt like that was what was left of you. like you were no longer the person that you were when you were with heeseung. like he took something with him when you broke up and has refused to give it back. 
you just weren’t sure what it was. 
it shouldn’t be like this but you’re left in this limbo of uncertainty and heeseung was the only way of adding any solace or clarity, but he was no longer there. you hadn’t seen him since that night, broken dishes, cracked picture frames, and a hole in your chest where your heart is supposed to be. your relationship with heeseung started off how a lot of relationships start, it was great. he was sweet and so were you, your love overflowed into one another and it felt like everything was sunshine and rainbows and then one day, it wasn’t. you were spending nights crying yourself to sleep while heeseung would leave you to cry because he didn’t want to deal with the emotional mess that you were and still are. 
that’s how your breakup went, you cried, you both yelled, and heeseung walked away. it was like a routine, a deadly cycle that neither of you could get out of until three months ago. this cycle was endless and exhausting yet it was all that you knew. as fucked up as it sounds, you found comfort knowing that you had heeseung on your side even if it didn’t seem like it. 
even when he would walk away from you…
even when you felt like he was ignoring you to prove a point…
even when it felt like you were the one person that he hated most in this world…
no matter what, it felt like heeseung was always by your side. like a shadow that you couldn’t feel but was always there. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 
your phone sat in your trembling hands as you contemplated on whether or not you should hit the send button. it was like the button on your phone had a strong gravitational pull and you found your thumb hovering over the button, the tiniest sliver of space between the skin of your thumb and the glass screen of your phone. 
there wasn’t even any time to process your final thoughts before your thumb was making contact with the cold glass and the familiar sound of the text being sent rings throughout your bedroom, much louder than it should’ve sounded. 
like it was an echo that rang in the room as a reminder of the decision you’ve just made. 
hi hee.. i dont even know why i’m sending this im just so lost. i didnt ever think that i would be missing you the way i do right now but you’re all ive been thinking about the last few months.  i miss the way you hugged me when i would cry.. granted i’d be crying because of you.  i miss when you would whisper sweet things into my ear when my brain got too loud and would lead to arguments.  i just miss you so much and you might not even respond to this but i just.. i miss you..
whether it was a good or bad decision however, was still out for debate. 
surprisingly enough, another familiar sound rings throughout your room, indicating that you have received a text message. 
hey pretty girl. i’m so happy to hear from you, can i come over?
it was short but definitely effective because you were responding in seconds and telling him that you’d leave the door unlocked to which he tells you that he still has a copy of your house key and would be there in no time. 
your heart was pounding a lot harder than moments before, like you had just put yourself in a life or death situation and in a lot of ways you did. death more than life. being with heeseung felt like two things, heaven and hell. it was either bliss or chaos whenever you were with him and neither heaven or hell was the same without him. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 
you had decided to change into your pajamas that just happened to be heeseung’s favorite. a pair of silk pajamas that barely left any imagination of what you looked like underneath; hence why it was his favorite. you’re brought out of your thoughts when you hear a knock on your bedroom door as it slightly creaks open, revealing heeseung who looked like he was going through just as much as you were. 
it was slightly comforting to know that in the time you were broken up until now, you weren’t the only one suffering. 
you muttered a whispered “hi” as he walked towards your figure sitting on the bed. the closer heeseung got the more visible his eyebags were. he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his hair a mess, and he was wearing the same hoodie that he was wearing when you told him to “get the fuck out i fucking hate you” all those months ago. 
“hi, pretty girl. are you ok?” he asks, even though you both knew that you were the furthest from “okay”. 
he stands right in front of you and gently cups your face to look up at him, his touch instantly brings you warmth and a sense of comfort that you wouldn’t associate with him, not for the last year at least. 
“hee… i miss you.. but-” you begin to say and he interrupts you by softly rubbing your cheek with his thumb. a simple action that brings chills down your spine as you think about all of the other times he soothed your mind with that gesture. melting into his touch wasn’t something you weren’t accustomed to but this all felt so foreign and uncertain even if you knew where it was going. 
you were now back to the cycle that you were once in. 
“but?” he says, squatting down so that you two were somewhat on the same level. 
“i don’t know if it’s a good idea to want you. i miss you everyday that you’re gone but it doesn’t bring comfort knowing how much you hurt me..” a hiccup slips past your lips as you speak and heeseung is finally seeing what he’s done. you looked utterly broken and he knew it was because of him. his pretty girl that he loved so much was shattered and ruined because of him and he wished that he had realized it sooner. 
“baby.. shh.. its okay.” heeseungs says, pulling you into his arms as you cry into his chest. his hoodie getting soaked as you let out your emotions that he shamed you for in the past. “everything is okay, baby..” hee coos, rubbing the back of your head gently as you wrap your arms around him. 
if heeseung was being honest, he didn’t know what to do in this situation and it was only making him realize further how shitty he was. he barely knows how to comfort the girl he loved so much and it was breaking his heart. it may seem selfish that he was reveling in his own discernment and that he’s trying to wrap his head around his past mistakes instead of the one currently crying in his lap. 
“i’m sorry, yn.. i’m sorry, please stop crying, baby..” he whispers into your ear, hugging you even tighter than before as if you were going to slip away from his grasp any second now. 
he doesn’t know what to do now and he didn’t then. 
it was like you guys had each other wrapped around one another’s finger, knowing that one way or the other, one of you would crawl back and start the cycle all over again no matter how many times you may think it’s finally over. 
the two of you stayed that way for one moment, in one another’s embrace, your heartbeats syncing up with one another and for once in a long time; your hearts were in the same place. you were finally on the same page when it came to your love for each other even if it meant being in a place of uncertainty… you were sure of one thing, the love you had for each other, if you could even call it that, was something you couldn’t lose. 
“heeseung.. will you stay?” coming out of your lips as you slightly pull away from him, your eyes originally intending to land on his doe eyes but instead they fall onto his plump lips that glistened just the right amount from the small light in your bedroom. “i’ll stay only if you want me to.” he responds and you nod eagerly, like it was the only thing you could want. 
and in a lot of ways, it was. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 
that night you slept in heeseung’s arms, a place you once vowed to never return to but as a cycle rounds itself, you found that his embrace was the place you were the most familiar with even if loving heeseung only brought uncertainty and a sense of unfamiliarity that brought you so much dread that you never know if the world you were living in was a heaven that wasn’t anything like you expected or a hell that was much worse than the words you’d hear on a sunday morning. 
however, no matter where you were; you wanted heeseung to be there because none of it would be the same without him. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 
“good morning, pretty girl.” heeseung says, his voice was low and a bit raspy as he pulled himself up from laying next to you. you stirred as he readjusts himself, turning to face him and he’s got a smile on his face you haven’t seen in a while. a smile you loved so much and the longer the two of you were together… it began to fade away. it only appeared for special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, then one day; heeseung just never smiled the same way ever again. 
you sat up, wrapping your blanket around yourself as you situated yourself in front of heeseung who did the same. “hee.. what are we doing?” you asked, the events of last night replaying in your head as you recall crying into heeseung’s chest and him trying his best to comfort you. 
“whatever you want, my love.” heeseung was good at that. saying all the right things to make it seem like everything was just that, alright. he would soothe your worries with empty promises, a soft rub on your back, and a gentle kiss on your lips. 
a kiss… something you craved from heeseung. 
“we’re too toxic for each other… but i don’t think i ever want to lose you. you’re all i’ve ever known and i feel even more lost when i’m without you. there’s so many signs that tell me to turn around, to stop, that this is just a dead end, but if i just keep ignoring the signs– it always leads me back to you. 
it always leads back to you, hee.. 
i don’t ever want to lose you but… can we even do this without falling apart?” 
heeseung looks at you momentarily, eyes flickering from your own eyes to your lips, something he also craved to feel. 
“you’ll never lose me, not even if you push me away… i’ll always pull you back no matter what. i don’t care what anyone says, they don’t know us like we know each other. the way i know your brain and body… and even soul. 
you’re mine and i’m yours, even if it destroys us.” heeseung’s face has gotten a lot closer with each word he speaks, nose slightly grazing yours. 
“i love you, ok?” he says and after a long time, you believe it. like he was willing to fix up any of the issues you two had if it meant that he could hold you every night as the two of you drift off to sleep. your dreams being filled with your happiest moments with each other instead of the nightmare of losing one another. 
you jump onto heeseung’s lap to which startles him at first but your hear his low chuckle in your ear as he embraces you in his arms. you would’ve said i love you back but you weren’t sure if you would mean it or if it would even change anything. 
you guess you’ll just have to see in a few weeks to know if things have changed and if the cycle is finally broken. your life was nothing without heeseung and whether or not you loved him was uncertain– you did, however, know that nothing was the same without him.  
"toxic" meovv the usage of song lyrics is credited to the artists above
copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved
all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3
heart not broken enough? let's try again... ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
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silent-stories · 3 days ago
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𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎
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Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader
Summary: based on this.
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Noah felt it before you even said a word.
That something sitting between you, like you were about to say something that was going to change everything. You were curled up on the couch, picking at a loose thread on your sleeve, your knee pulled up to your chest like you were trying to make yourself smaller. That wasn’t normal.
And then you spoke.
"I got a job offer."
His fingers stilled around the beer bottle, grip tightening just enough that he could feel the condensation slide against his skin. He didn’t look at you. Didn’t trust himself to. "Yeah?"
"In another city."
The words hit harder than he expected.
For a second, just one, he let himself think about what that meant—about this house without you in it, about days without your voice filling the empty spaces, about knowing you were somewhere else, somewhere new, somewhere without him.
And it made his stomach fucking sink.
But you didn’t belong here, did you? You never had.
You weren't his and he wasn't yours. All you had ever been was just friends.
He always knew you’d go. He just never thought it would be so soon.
You kept talking, explaining—something about better pay, bigger opportunities, a smart move. Noah heard it all, but it was like listening through static, every word just another reminder that this was real. That this was happening. That you weren’t just thinking about leaving. You were already halfway gone.
And what was he supposed to do? What was he allowed to do?
Because yeah, maybe he thought about it. Maybe he thought about pulling you in, pressing his forehead against yours, telling you he didn’t want you to go. That he needed you here, that he—
And then, for the first time, it really hit him.
He never told you. Never fucking told you.
Not when he first realized that the way he looked at you wasn’t the way a friend should. Not when you laughed at his dumb jokes, and he caught himself staring at your smile like it was something he could get addicted to, wishing he could bottle up the sound of your laughter, save it for the nights when the silence felt too heavy—when you weren’t there to fill the space beside him.
Not when you fell asleep on his shoulder during long car rides, and he stayed perfectly still, barely breathing, just to make the moment last a little longer. Not when he watched you dance around the kitchen in his hoodie, not when he felt his heart ache just being near you.
Not when he should have.
Not when it would’ve mattered.
And now, sitting here, the words he should’ve said—I like you. No, I love you. More than a friend. More than anyone—were useless. Too late. You were already slipping through his fingers, and he had no one to blame but himself.
So he stayed quiet. Because what was the fucking point now?
What was he supposed to do—throw everything at you now, at the last second, when you had a whole future waiting for you? When you were basically already half out the door? When he had every chance before, and he wasted them all?
No. That wasn’t fair.
Not to you. Not to the life you were about to build. Not to the love he’d never had the guts to give you.
So he bit his tongue. Kept his hands in his lap so he wouldn’t reach for you. Forced his voice steady as he said, "You should take it."
And fuck—he hated how easy it sounded. Hated that it came out smooth when his chest felt like it was caving in.
You hesitated. He could feel you watching him.
"You think?"
Noah swallowed hard, leaned forward, let his eyes settle on the floor instead of your face. "Yeah," he said. "Sounds like a great opportunity." Another shrug. Another lie. "You’d be an idiot not to."
The silence that followed was the worst part.
Because he could feel it—the shift, the way something between you cracked, just slightly, just enough that he knew it wouldn’t go back to how it was.
He tried to imagine what it would feel like to be around someone else the way he was with you. He’d never been able to picture anyone else in your place, never wanted to. You were a part of him now, you were the person who knew him best, the one he always leaned on when things got heavy, the one he could rely on when everything else felt like it was falling apart, the one who always answered his texts sent in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep.
And now you were walking away. And he couldn’t imagine filling that gap.
The comfort of having you around, the steady presence of your friendship, even if it had always just been friendship, was something he never thought would disappear. It was just always there. And it was hard, almost impossible, to wrap his head around the fact that it might never be like that again.
How would he ever find that again? He couldn’t even begin to picture it. And the worst part? He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to. You were it. And now, as he sat there, heart heavy with the weight of what he couldn’t say, of what he had never had the guts to tell you, he knew that he had just let you slip through his fingers. The easy, effortless thing they had—the laughter, the comfort, the quiet moments, the understanding—was something he couldn’t replicate. Not with anyone. Not now. Not ever.
"Right," you said, voice quiet. "Yeah. That’s what I thought."
Noah didn’t move. Didn’t look at you.
Because if he did—if he saw the way you were looking at him, if he saw even the smallest flicker of doubt in your eyes—he knew he’d break.
And if he broke, he’d beg you to stay.
So instead, he just sat there, fingers gripping the beer bottle like it was the only thing holding him together, and let you slip further away.
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A few days later, you were sitting on the leather couch in the living room of the house you’d spent so many nights in again.
Folio was giving you one of his usual "don’t forget" lists—one that had become a comforting part of your routine over the years for all the times you went on a tour or trip together. This time, however, it sounded different, as if it was the last.
"Okay, remember to pack all your jackets. And the extra batteries for your camera. Oh, and make sure you’ve got your phone charger, you always forget it!" He waved his hands in the air as though he was trying to remind you of the most crucial thing in the world, like the fate of the universe rested on you not forgetting your phone charger.
You chuckled, leaning back on the couch, a small smile tugging at your lips as you gave him a playful eye roll. "Yeah, yeah, I got it, Nick. I’ll pack everything. No need to worry."
Folio grinned. "Good. You know I worry." He paused, then his tone softened, almost hesitant, like he was preparing to say something serious. "I’m really going to miss having you around. It won’t be the same without you here."
The words hit you harder than you expected. You had been preparing yourself for this goodbye for days, but hearing him say it out loud made it real, made it feel final. You swallowed, forcing a smile. "I’ll miss you guys too. And don’t worry, I’ll send plenty of pictures. And I’m sure I’ll come back to visit."
Folio nodded. "Yeah, of course. And we’ll come to visit you, too. So you don't forget us." He said it with such certainty that for a brief moment, you let yourself believe it—believe that things could stay the same, even when you knew they couldn’t.
But as Folio finished his sentence, you glanced over at Noah. He had been sitting at the other end of the room, quietly listening, but now he abruptly stood up, his movements stiff and awkward, as though something had snapped in him.
Noah didn’t say anything, just turned toward the door and walked out without a word. His departure felt like a heavy silence in the room.
You blinked, watching him leave, confused. "Did I say something wrong?" you asked softly.
Folio didn’t seem surprised by Noah’s reaction, but there was a hint of concern in his eyes. "It’s been like that for a couple of days now," he said, his voice low. "I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s been… off. Something’s going on in his head, but he won’t talk about it."
You felt a knot form in your stomach.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the way he had acted the first time you spoke about the job offer. That cold, almost detached response, like he had no opinion on the matter at all. You replayed it in your mind over and over: "You should take it. Sounds like a great opportunity." But something in the way he said it—something in the way he couldn’t even look at you when he spoke—made you wonder if there was more to his reaction than he let on. Was he angry? Disappointed? Did he hate you for making the decision to leave?
You tried to push those thoughts away, but they kept creeping back. It was impossible, you told yourself. He couldn’t possibly hate you. Because you were just friends, right?
But just friends never felt like the right term for what you two had. Not for the long nights you spent talking, for the way you always seemed to understand each other without saying a word, for how comfortable you felt in his presence—like you were home when he was around. It had never been just friendship for you. Not really. Maybe it had started that way, but over time, something shifted. You couldn’t pinpoint when it happened, but you’d always known that your feelings for him ran deeper than what you were supposed to admit.
You thought back to that first time you’d met him, to the way he’d walked toward you with that easy, confident stride but still looking so damn shy. You liked his long hair t, and his eyes—those brown eyes, warm and sweet—that had locked onto yours in that instant.
He had smiled, and you’d felt it all the way down to your bones. It was like something clicked, something undeniable. That’s when you knew, even if you didn’t have the courage to admit it then, that there was something about him that made your heart race.
And all these years, that same feeling never really went away. Not when he touched your hip for a second to grab a cup from a high shelf you couldn’t reach, not when he would pass you the last slice of pizza even though he was starving, not when you’d sit together in silence and it never felt uncomfortable.
You told yourself over and over that it was just a crush, that you were just friends, but every time he touched you, every time his hand brushed yours or he’d take your hand in his while walking through a crowded space, your heart would skip.
And when he would hold your hand, you’d feel the heat flood your face, and when he was on the stage and his eyes locked with yours for a moment, it was like the world disappeared. It was just the two of you.
Did he ever notice?
Did he ever feel what you felt? Was it possible he ever sensed the way your heart raced when he would grab your hand, as if the world didn’t matter and you two existed in your own little bubble just for a while? You wondered if maybe, just maybe, he’d caught the way your breath would hitch when he’d look at you with those brown eyes, like you were the only person in the room.
But now, all of that was left in the past. You were about to leave, and nothing between you two was ever going to change. You were just friends.
You thought about getting up and going after him. But what could you say? "I'm sorry I'm leaving?"
He was the first person to tell you to take that job, it wouldn't have made sense. So you stayed there.
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The day had finally come. It felt surreal, the finality of it weighing on you as you stood in front of the door, ready to say your goodbyes. You had spent the last few days avoiding the inevitable, pretending like you still had time, still had something to hold onto. But now, as you stood there, your suitcase in your car and your heart feeling like it was somewhere deep inside your chest, the reality of leaving was all too clear.
You walked into the living room, where the band was gathered. They were all quieter than usual. Folio was the first to greet you, giving you one of his bear hugs that made you feel both comforted and sad at the same time. “Take care of yourself, alright?” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Don’t forget the pictures. And don’t be a stranger.” You nodded, blinking back the sudden lump in your throat.
“Yeah, yeah, I will,” you managed to say, your voice wavering a little.
Then, one by one, the others came over to say goodbye.
“Don’t forget us,” Matt said, pulling you into a quick hug. “I'll miss the food you made for us.”
You laughed and pushed him away as he pretended to be hurt.
Finally, there was Noah. He was standing a little apart from the group, his hands in his pockets. He didn’t approach you right away, and you weren’t sure why that felt different. But when your eyes met his, his gaze softened, and you could see something unsaid flickering in his eyes.
He stepped forward slowly, pulling you into his arms, and for a moment, you didn’t want to let go. You hugged him tightly, the warmth of his body against yours a reminder of all the small moments you’d shared over the years. You could hear his breath, steady and calm, like he was trying to hold onto this moment too.
He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you, and the quiet between you both felt almost too much to bear.
“I’m really going to miss you,” you whispered, your voice cracking just slightly.
Noah gave you a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. His hand lifted, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face, a touch so tender it made your heart ache.
“I’ll miss you too,” he said softly, then, without saying another word, he kissed the top of your head.
You only looked at him for a few seconds before taking a step back, as if if you stayed longer, it would only hurt more.
Then, you finally turned toward the door, ready (or maybe not) to leave and start something new. But you also knew, deep down, that no matter where life took you, a part of you would always be right here, with them. And with him.
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About two hours later, Noah was sitting on the edge of the couch, his leg bouncing up and down nervously, the restless energy radiating off him like a low hum. His gaze was distant, unfocused, as if he was somewhere miles away from where he actually was, lost in thoughts that seemed impossible to escape.
Nick, who had been trying to make sense of the silence in the room, finally broke it. "What's going on with you?" he asked, eyeing Noah with a raised brow.
Matt, who had been observing Noah for a while, leaned forward, a knowing look crossing his face. "It's about Y/N, right?"
Jolly, sitting across from them, raised an eyebrow. "Y/N?" he echoed, confused, like he hadn’t caught on.
Matt shot him a look as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Of course, it’s Y/N. He’s been in love with her since the first time he saw her."
Nick blinked, a little stunned. "What? And you never told me?" He looked genuinely surprised, a slight hint of betrayal in his voice.
Folio let out a smug little laugh. "Ah! I knew it. I ducking knew it!"
Noah, who had been tuning them out, suddenly snapped back to reality. He stood up, his frustration bubbling over. "Enough. You’re not helping," he interrupted, his voice louder than usual, the words spilling out in a rush. "I fucked up. I let her go. I feel like shit. Because…" He hesitated, but it was like the weight of it was too much to keep in. "Because I love her. I’ve loved her for years. And when she told me about the job… I thought it was too late to say anything." He shook his head. "I’m such an idiot. I'm such a fucking idiot."
"Yeah, you are." Said Folio, who had been waiting for the confession.
"It’s not too late." Jolly spoke.
Noah turned to him, shaking his head with a defeated look in his eyes. "Yeah, it is. She’s gone."
Matt glanced at his watch. "Her flight hasn’t left yet," he said, his voice steady, as if offering a lifeline Noah hadn’t considered.
Noah froze, his eyes wide for just a moment before the doubt came crashing in. "I can’t do it," he muttered.
Nick leaned forward, a serious expression on his face. "Do you love her?" he asked, not bothering with any other words, just cutting straight to the core of it.
Without thinking, Noah nodded immediately. "Yes," he said, his voice barely a whisper but resolute. "Yes, I love her."
Nick didn’t waste any time. "Then go," he said, his voice firm. "Go fucking get her."
The words hung in the air, and for a split second, Noah didn’t move. He was caught in all his own doubts, his fears, his regrets. But then, something clicked. Maybe it was Nick’s certainty, maybe it was the look in his friends’ eyes, but Noah felt it—he had to go. If he didn’t, he would regret it forever.
He had nothing to lose.
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Noah never thought he’d be that guy—the one who ditches his car in traffic, sprints through a crowded airport, and makes a total fool of himself in the name of love. And yet, here he is, running through the terminal, heart hammering in his chest, lungs burning with every breath, because you’re about to board a plane and leave, and he can’t let that happen.
Traffic had been his worst enemy, but he didn’t care. His car had been left behind in the middle of the arrivals lane, engine still running. The thought of you, suitcase packed and ready to leave, was all he could focus on. Every second spent on the road felt like an eternity, but he had to get to you.
He run through the airport.
He narrowly avoided a child who’s been skipping along, then almost tripped over a suitcase abandoned in the middle of the aisle. He bumped into people left and right, his shoulder knocking into a couple who glared at him as he shouted, “Sorry! Sorry, I’m in a hurry!” He didn't wait for their response, didn't care. His focus was on you only.
He cut through crowds, hands brushing against strangers as he weaved between them, the sound of his own breath growing louder in his ears. Another wave of people blocked his path, and he barely managed to swerve, knocking into a woman holding a cup of coffee. It splashed across the floor, the warm liquid spreading out in a wide arc.
“Watch where you’re going!” she yelled.
"I'm so sorry! It's important, I swear!"
The overhead announcement blared, sharp and unrelenting. Final boarding call for Flight 237, please... He didn’t hear the rest. His mind was focused on one thing: You. The gate was in sight. There you were, standing at the counter, your ticket in hand, a look of quiet resolve on your face, your eyes scanning the people around you.
"Wait!"
Heads turned. People gasped. A security guard stepped forward as Noah sprinted toward you, chest heaving, his breath coming out in ragged bursts.
"Don’t go," he blurted out, his voice raw with desperation.
Your brows furrowed as you turned to face him. "Noah, what—?"
He took a step closer, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to confess everything he’d kept locked away for years. "I love you," he said, the words tumbling out, frantic and real. "I fucking love you," He could barely keep his breath steady as he looked at you, his heart thundering in his chest. "And I know—I know I should’ve said this sooner, that I should’ve told you everything before it got to this point. I should’ve been braver, I should’ve figured it out sooner, but I didn’t. I’ve been so damn stupid, too scared to say what I’ve been feeling because I never wanted to mess this up. But I can’t—I can’t let you go without telling you, because if I don’t, I’m going to lose you, and I can’t lose you."
He ran a hand through his hair, "I know I don’t deserve a second chance. Hell, I probably don’t deserve even one, not after all the times I avoided the truth, but please—please don’t get on that plane. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. It scares the shit out of me, honestly, because I’ve let you slip through my fingers, and I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life than losing you."
He took a deep breath, struggling to steady himself. "Please, just… give me a chance. Don’t go. We can figure this out. You and me, together. I’ve been an idiot for not telling you this sooner, but I know now—I know what I want. And it’s you. It’s always been you. Just don’t walk away from me. Not when I finally have the guts to tell you that I have been in love with you since the first moment I saw you."
There was a moment of silence.
You were sure that a girl was filming the scene, ready to post it on tiktok, probably without even knowing who Noah was.
The security guard took a step toward him, but Noah didn’t flinch. “Sir, you can’t be here—”
"Just give me one second," he said with his eyes locked on yours, pleading.
You stared at him for a moment, a mixture of shock and disbelief in your eyes. Then, as if the weight of his words hit you all at once, your ticket slipped from your fingers and hit the ground. Without thinking, you grabbed his face, pulling him into a kiss.
It wasn’t like the movies—there wasn’t a crowd cheering or anything like that. Just the hum of the airport and the soft murmur of an old woman sitting nearby, who, after a brief pause, simply gave a small smile as she went back to reading her book. It made you almost laugh, the absurdity of it all.
Noah smiled against your lips, the warmth of your kiss sinking into his chest.
“You are such an idiot,” you murmured, smiling through the kiss, your hand gently resting on his cheek.
“But an idiot you love, right?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes.
You rolled your eyes, but there was no hiding the affection in your gaze. "Yeah, you idiot. An idiot I love."
You both shared one last smile before you pulled away, glancing back toward the gate. The security guard had stepped back, his hands raised in surrender.
Noah took your hand, leading you out of the airport, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief.
As you walked with him, you couldn’t help but tease him a little. "I never thought you’d pull the 80s movie move to tell me you love me."
Noah gave you a sheepish grin. "At least the security didn’t tackle me."
You laughed, the sound light and free, as the two of you walked through the terminal, together.
"You should write a song on that, you know?"
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Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lacy1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme @hurricanesfollowyou @ichoosetenderomens @chey-h @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @missduffsblog
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leighsartworks216 · 3 days ago
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Claw Machines
Sylus x gn!Reader & MC
Raven deserves the world and more and I need to heal their inner child so so bad and who better to help than MC?
Warnings: fluff, silly, growing friendship, arcades, healing their inner child, kissing, swearing, banter
Word Count: 1,678
Main Masterlist
The Raven Masterlist
First Love and Deepspace Masterlist
Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist
Third Love and Deepspace Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
Sylus was 'busy', but you're dead certain that was just an excuse to nudge you into bonding with Miss Hunter. When she'd called to invite him out, you saw the smirk that curled his lips. You'd glared at him when he said you'd take his spot. You'd even been tempted to ditch her, but you couldn't in the end, knowing how much she means to him.
The claw moves around the box, following the movements of the little joystick. She looks as if she's facing down a Wanderer, not a stuffed koala with a teddy bear. Her tongue pokes out of her mouth, head swivels to the sides of the box to make sure she's lined up properly, fingers tapping impatiently on the machine before she hits the button. The claw descends. Closes. And as it rises, the koala is stuck in its grasp.
"Yes!" Miss Hunter laughs giddily as she bends down and grabs her prize from the chute. She squishes its face, eyes shining brilliantly with glee. Suddenly, she turns to you. "Have you ever played before?"
You shake your head, appearing quite bored with the whole thing.
"Do you want to try it? I can give you some pointers!"
A relentlessly stubborn part of you wants to refuse. Stand around like her own personal bodyguard while she travels from machine to machine with tokens purchased with Sylus's card and a bag full of toys.
But... you're also curious. You'd peered through shop windows and seen kids with toys your whole childhood, without any hope of having one to call your own. You'd made peace with that a long time ago, aided in the fact you now have plenty of money to live comfortably, though you keep that money close to your chest. Now Miss Hunter's barging through that peace, eyes shining and full of childish energy. And you give in.
You step up hesitantly to the controls. She squeals in glee and stands right beside you, nearly leaning on your arm. "Okay, this is the joystick! You use it to move the claw around. And then when you're lined up with something, you push this button and it'll try grabbing it."
You quirk an eyebrow at her. She smiles deviously. "It's a lot harder than it looks, trust me."
You should have listened to her. She makes it look so easy; you have to wonder if she's somehow using her Evol to cheat. No matter what target you went for, it always slipped through. Sometimes in the most ridiculous ways - bouncing off the edge of the plastic surrounding the chute or flipping off into an unreachable corner. You're not usually one to give up on a challenge, but this is getting ridiculous.
Miss Hunter smiles apologetically at you after your target falls over, just out of reach of the claw. "Maybe this machine isn't calibrated well," she suggests, but it's a half-baked excuse. "Let's try another one."
So you do.
And another.
... And another.
It's agony. She'll take over, pleading with big round eyes and a pout that works like a charm on Sylus to play a round, and get a plushie on her first try. Her bag is almost overflowing. She considers asking for a second one, but she looks sorry when she says so out loud.
Another machine catches her eye and she dashes over like a child. You watch her go.
It's... confusing, contradictory, to see someone like her be so carefree and childish. Her life has not been a cakewalk, and she's been through things normal people would never recover from. Yet here she is, squealing and giggling with delight, while you stand amid the flashing lights and chiming bells, arms crossed and frowning.
You hate to think you could ever possibly be jealous of her. Jealousy was unnecessary when you had all the means to get what you wanted so easily. Still, it's difficult not to envy in some ways the ease with which she enjoys such simple things.
You sigh. You damn Sylus for having you take his place on this little playdate with Miss Hunter. Damn the machines and their stupid claws. Damn all the plushies that seem to hate you.
The arcade is relatively small. When you begin walking around the various machines, it's easy to keep an eye on her. After all, if something happened to her here, it would be your fault. And you don't exactly want a repeat of last time.
It's by pure chance you happen to glance over. Pure random chance that your eyes slipped onto a series of miniature claw machines, stacked 3-on-3 in an alley between the bigger machines. You would not have stopped if you hadn't then done a double-take to make sure you saw what you thought you saw. And sure enough, as you step up to the small machines, you see in one a tiny keychain in the shape of a crow.
It's adorable. Big eyes that take up half its body stare longingly out at the arcade, half-closed with an air of disinterest. A little white ruff wraps all around its body. Two little feet with three toes each stick out the bottom.
You glance around to find Miss Hunter. She's moved on to the Balance machines, where her skilled fingers shift the two-pronged claw to nudge the box off the poles. An employee already stands there, waiting to re-setup the machine, as they chat with familiarity. She seems safe enough...
After a moment of watching to make sure the employee doesn't try anything, you reach into your pocket and pull out the tokens she gave you earlier. You insert one, and a small LED display counts down a timer.
The joystick is tiny in your hand - you can only imagine how it would fit in Sylus's. You shift it over top the crow. After spending however long failing on the other machines, you don't have much hope, especially when these are designed to give the impression of being easier so people will want to try them even more. You push the tiny button, and the claw lowers. The crow is picked up, shifting slightly in its loose hold. It's carried to the chute...
A tiny jingle plays, similar to the one that follows Miss Hunter around every machine.
You... you did it?
You hesitate before opening the little hatch, as though you just imagined all of that and you're going to be woefully out of luck when you reach in to find it empty. But no. You reach in and your fingers touch soft fur. You pull it out. There he is - your very own tiny crow plush.
The crow's big eyes seem to stare up at you, unimpressed. But your mind says he's happy, free from his cramped little prison.
Footsteps approach and you're immediately back on alert. You'd been smiling without even realizing it, but that is wiped away for neutrality. Miss Hunter doesn't seem to notice, gushing over the prize in your hand.
"Awe, you won that! It's so cute!" She pokes its cheek with her finger, giggling. "I've never been able to win anything from these machines. How many tries did it take you?"
Something flutters in your chest. A feeling you'd only felt when Sylus praised you - pride. You really managed to do something she couldn't? It sounded impossible after seeing her win over and over again without fail.
You hold up a finger. She gapes at you.
"What? It only took you one try?!" She looks at the machines, and all the cute mini plushies within. She frowns, considering something, before pulling out a handful of tokens. "Maybe they made these easier, somehow? Let me try."
-
"Have fun?"
You dangle the toy in front of Mephisto. He stands in your lap, playfully pecking and nipping at it. He's careful not to damage or tear it - he's always such a good bird.
Sylus wraps his arms around you from behind the couch. His chin rests on your shoulder, large hands massaging your sides. He kisses your cheek. "You're smiling."
Your first instinct is to turn away, but he stops you. Fingers grab your chin and turn you to face him instead. Crimson eyes, smug and teasing, meet yours.
You sigh. You have to admit that it was fun, even if you'd love to be stubborn and say it wasn't. Maybe if you hadn't won anything, you wouldn't have to pretend you hated it. Unfortunately, the toy that dangles from your finger is evidence to the contrary.
"She's a menace on those machines," you say, voice low, like it's a secret.
He chuckles. "How many did she get?"
"I lost count."
You glance back at Mephisto and shift the toy to rest in your palm. He grabs it in his beak, cawing around the object in his mouth, and flits off to go put it with his little hoard. Or, well, you thought he would. Instead, he flaps off to his perch and, using his foot and beak together, manages to hang it by its chain on the end of it. They look like a matching set as he fluffs up and settles down to rest
Sylus kisses the corner of your smiling mouth. You feel exposed. How is it possible for something so small to catch your emotions off guard?
"I'm glad you had fun," he whispers sincerely. "If you'd like, we can go together sometime."
"We wouldn't win anything," you tease. You rub your nose against his, drawing out a soft look of love from his eyes.
He shrugs. "Then we'll steal one."
"How criminal. This may be your most dastardly scheme yet."
"Mhm. And I'll need my best man on the job to help me pull it off." He closes the small gap to kiss you. His thumb rubs over the ball of your chin. Another kiss and his hand shifts to your jaw. Another, then to your neck. He draws you in, over and over, languidly savoring you, like you have all the time in the world.
---
Tag List:
@the-golden-jhope @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko @deusfoundry @that-lost-one
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shin-kenooubu · 3 days ago
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Confession Headcanons!
featuring: Ranpo Edogawa
(sfw, fluff, gn!reader, no content warnings)
• author's note: more ranpo because i love him.
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Ranpo isn't used to being uncertain about things, in fact, there is nothing in the world that he is less accustomed to. He always has things figured, it's always taken him seconds and it somehow takes him Even Less Time to blabber out the answer.
But that certainty comes from cold hard facts. Feelings are far, far, faaaar trickier.
So obviously. Instead of figuring out a way to put his feelings into proper words and going through the grueling feeling of vulnerability and heat rushing into his face and down his neck.
He makes you do it.
Eventually, you won't be able to keep quiet about your feelings and he knows this. But at the rate you're going, it's going to take ages. So he's going to help speed up the process! Because someone needs to confess.
And its certainly not going to be him. For obvious reasons.
So heres now it goes:
- All up in your space. He knows you get flustered when he's near. Filing some paperwork? He's sitting on your desk. Taking a break on the couch? He's sitting down and draping his legs over your lap. You're taking your lunch break? He's hungry too!!! Buy him a treat!!!
- Makes you accompany him whenever he gets sent out. It doesn't matter if you can drive or not, he'll tell you everything he's already figured out about the case on the way there regardless! He's basically figured it all out already anyways. Isn't that impressive? Isn't he the best? Praise him, please and thank you.
- Compliments you. Indirectly. All the other members of the ADA always mention how highly Ranpo seems to think of you. It's clear that he values your input, he finds you incredibly dependable as well, y'know, he's even mentioned that you're pretty easy on the eyes. Don't tell him they told you that, though. (It's all part of his master plan.)
- Shares. His supply is dwindling even faster because of you! You should feel honored. Or maybe not. He doesn't actually mind, don't feel bad for taking anything. Hurry up and eat the damn thing already.
- Listens to you. Actively. He makes sure to show that he's paying attention to you because he knows that you appreciate it. He doesn't really get it, he's always listening even if it looks like he's busy playing around. But feelings are weird and fragile. He'll be a little extra careful with yours.
- Makes an effort to not insult your intelligence. Not that he ever actually means to, his wording is just off. Which is why recently you've found him growing quiet in conversations for a few seconds. A small pout on his lips as he considers his words before snapping right back into place and continuing whatever tirade he was going on. All without throwing out an indirect jab. It's cute, and also very thoughtful.
- Minimizes the opportunities you have to get hurt in his plans. Obviously some things don't come together as neatly as one might hope but damnit if he isn't finding a way to keep you safe. You can be useful And out of harms way.
He's obvious, he doesn't trust you to not brush off his vaguer advances as him simply being friendly. He wants you to get the hint. Needs you to, really, because he's sick of pining just as much as you are.
When you do eventually ask to speak to him privately, invite him into your space and sit him down, his heart pounds.
Ranpo knows the outcome of this, he's set it in motion for weeks, maybe even months, but theres still Doubt.
He can't see the future.
He can infer it, maybe. Can imagine a future where you and him are happy, where everyday, the two of you lay in bed together, and you smile at him as you run your fingers through his black hair and his mind grows muddy.
But this isn't like any simple murder case. He knows some facts, yeah, but none of it will ever, ever be enough to be Certain. Certain of you and him. Together. It scares him.
But when you take his hands in yours, a little clammy from nerves, and whisper your feelings to him, he can't help but surge forward and press his lips to yours.
A wide smile. A simple, "I know."
You can feel his quiet laughter on your face.
He's lucky he didn't wheeze it out, with how tight his chest feels from pure giddiness.
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esotericfaeryfeminism · 17 hours ago
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I do think women tend to look strange (like aliens) or ugly with makeup on.
What I find really sad, is the ones who are so used to wearing it all the time, that they've destroyed their skin and now they wear makeup to not look like they're wearing makeup.
Young women, please just don't wear makeup in the first place. Don't start yourself into this obsessive, expensive habit of pandering to patriarchy, and giving yourself health problems that go beyond bad skin. Men aren't worth that, and you're worth so much more.
Most men (even if "only" subconsciously) view women who wear makeup as performing for them the way porn actors and prostitutes do.
I'd rather be considered ugly to everyone, than a desired rape victim.
While of course all of the blame for all rape lies with the rapist, that doesn't mean we have to make ourselves look like we're trying to attract them.
And, not that I would ever recommend that even straight women should take a chance on creatures with such high crime stats, but if you're going to keep dating them, cultivate your confidence in other ways. Learn new hobbies, sports if you want (but definitely self-defense) & muscle up. Read books or listen to podcasts about whatever interests you, to grow your mind too.
Do it for YOU primarily, and learn all of the red flags. The first time a red flag appears, don't be like me for decades and try to justify it with stuff other women have told you about how, "men are just like that".
Get toys if your hands bore you, and fantasize about fictional men. Your pleasure is always more important anyway. One of many reasons for why women are superior is that we're blessed with the easy ability to have multiple orgasms without penetration. There's never any need to deliberately risk pregnancy, as condoms break.
Before I realized I was (the original and real definition) of asexual (for those who think it only happens due to abuse, I have secretly known I had no real sexual attractions to others before I experienced sexual abuse), I felt deeply flawed because I wasn't attracted to anyone. I spent years trying to fake it til I made it by having a few relationships with men. Because that's what all people are brainwashed from birth to do. This is similar to how lesbians and gays have beards, because society is not designed to meet their needs with the equal compassion which they deserve.
However, as we're living in a world of people with sex drives which are aligned towards others, my view is unique in that I naturally (and healthily) lack the drive to attract a partner.
I do appreciate that most women are not asexual, and so there are more driven and easily programmed reasons for why many continue to pander to patriarchy, or mask as non-radfems by wearing makeup.
I think as women we should all try to consider that people may have valid reasons for that behaviour. Maybe where they live they get less (or no) unwanted male attention for masking through wearing makeup.
Makeup-obsessed girl: You have nice skin. What's your routine?
Me: Hot water and soap.
Makeup-obsessed girl: ...Oh. Have you ever thought of just using eye makeup? I can show you the best type of concealer and best colours for you.
Me: No thanks.
Makeup-obsessed girl: Come on, are you sure? You said you're single, well, you want to stand out, right?
Me: No. I'm happy single.
Makeup-obsessed girl: ...What about your eye-brows? I know a quick -
Me: I said no thanks. I think everyone looks better without makeup. Wear it if you want, even though it's unhealthy because it ages skin and contains harmful chemicals linked to health problems. I see no reason to be ashamed of my natural face, and I don't care that some people think I'm ugly. Nature is beauty and as a part of nature, I'm beautiful.
~
The brainwashing to tow the line for patriarchy is sad in all kinds of ways. Usually when I have this kind of conversation, the other woman reacts as if I'm being rude for stating a preference and trying to prompt her to research the harmful effects of makeup.
And if I thought it was a friendship that was developing, then it goes nowhere.
The wild animals who coercively rape them are fawned over, yet the rest of us women who don't sacrifice our own dignity to fit in and put our throats up for men to slice, are discarded.
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cherryxbooo · 3 days ago
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Love is never easy
Summary: Meeting a certain footballer wasn’t on your bingo card, but falling in love with him was even more unimaginable.
Reader x Pablo Gavi
Genre: fluff/angst
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They say love should be simple.
That when you find the right person, it’s effortless, like a perfect pass that lands gently at your feet, as if it was always meant for you.
A connection so natural, so fluid, that you don’t even have to think.
But what happens when love feels like a game you’re always one step behind in?
When you’re constantly chasing, reaching, hoping, only to feel the ball slip just beyond your grasp?
I met Pablo Gavi in the most unexpected way, by quite literally crashing into him outside the stadium on a stormy evening.
The rain had been relentless, the kind that soaks through your clothes in seconds and turns the world into a blur of grey.
I hadn’t even been at Camp Nou for football.
My best friend’s brother worked security there, and I had come to meet her, completely unaware that fate had other plans.
One moment, I was battling my umbrella against the wind, the next, I was colliding into someone with enough force to make me stumble back.
My breath hitched as I looked up, my heart pounding, not just from the impact, but from the realization of who I had just crashed into.
Pablo Gavi.
His brow furrowed as he rubbed his arm where I had hit him, a soft curse slipping from his lips.
"Joder…" His voice was slightly irritated, rough around the edges, but the second his eyes met mine, something in them shifted.
His frustration faded, replaced by something else, curiosity, maybe. Amusement.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice softer now.
I could barely find my words. "Y-yeah, I think so. Sorry about that."
He let out a short chuckle, shaking his head.
"You put up more of a fight than most defenders I face."
I didn’t expect him to remember me after that.
But he did.
The next time I visited my friend, I felt a pair of eyes on me before I even saw him.
And when I finally turned, there he was, leaning casually against a railing, arms crossed, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
"Still fighting with the wind?" he teased.
That time, I laughed.
The time after that, we talked.
And before I even realized what was happening, he had become a part of my life.
It felt easy. Too easy.
Like a dream you don’t dare wake up from.
But love, love is never easy.
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They say the best love stories begin with friendship.
That the strongest bonds are the ones built slowly, quietly, in the spaces between laughter and late-night conversations.
That was us.
For months, Gavi and I existed in a space that wasn’t quite friendship but wasn’t something more either.
A delicate balance of playful teasing and unspoken feelings, of being each other’s first call at the end of a long day, yet pretending we didn’t notice the way our voices softened when we spoke to one another.
It started with late-night phone calls.
"Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?" I’d ask when my phone buzzed at nearly 2 a.m., his name lighting up my screen.
"Can’t sleep," he’d mumble, voice groggy but warm, like he had already been dozing off.
"Tell me something."
"Like what?"
"Anything."
So I would. I’d tell him about my day, about a funny thing my professor said, about how my best friend had tried (and failed) to set me up with someone.
I’d hear him scoff at that, muttering something under his breath that I could never quite catch.
Sometimes, it was the other way around.
"Tough game?" I’d ask when he called me after a match, his voice quieter than usual.
"Yeah," he’d sigh. "I just... I don’t know. I should’ve done better."
I’d listen as he talked, let him get it all out, the frustration, the pressure, the weight of expectations that never seemed to ease.
And when he was finished, when there was nothing left but silence, I’d whisper, "You’re too hard on yourself, you know that?"
His response was always the same, a quiet exhale, a soft "Only you say that."
I never knew what to do with the way my heart reacted to those words.
Then there were the little things.
The way he always seemed to know when I was having a bad day, sending me a simple "You okay?" that somehow made everything feel lighter.
The way he showed up at my university when he had a rare afternoon off, waiting for me outside my lecture hall with a coffee in hand.
"You didn’t have to do this," I’d tell him, but he’d just shrug, like it was nothing.
"You always forget to eat when you’re stressed," he’d say, handing me a sandwich like he had memorized my habits better than I had.
We never talked about whatever this was.
Never acknowledged the way his hand always seemed to find the small of my back when we walked through a crowd.
Or how we lingered just a little too long whenever we said goodbye.
It was easier this way.
Easier to pretend we were just friends.
Even when everything we did felt like something more.
Even when I already knew, I was falling.
And then, without realizing it, I had already fallen.
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I fell for the way he looked at me, like I was something rare, something worth holding onto.
I fell for the way his fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on my palm whenever we sat in silence, as if memorizing the shape of me.
I fell for the way he always pulled me closer in a crowded room, his grip firm, protective, like he was afraid I’d slip away.
I fell, hard and fast, like I never had before.
But love, love is never just about falling.
It’s about what happens after.
And somewhere along the way, something changed.
It didn’t happen overnight.
There was no sudden, dramatic shift.
It was slow, subtle, the kind of change you don’t notice at first, like the days getting shorter, the cold creeping in before you even realize summer is gone.
It started with the little things.
The way his replies to my texts, once almost instant, started coming slower.
At first, I brushed it off he was busy, caught up in training, exhausted from travel.
But then, the messages themselves became shorter. A simple "Yeah." or "We’ll see." replacing the playful, teasing paragraphs he used to send me.
The voice notes that once made me smile, his laughter, the way he always seemed to have a story to tell, became fewer and fewer, until one day, they just stopped.
The late-night calls faded too.
"Are you awake?" I would text, staring at my phone, waiting for those three little dots to appear.
Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn’t.
When they did, it was always the same answer.
"Tired. Talk tomorrow?"
But tomorrow came, and we didn’t talk.
At first, I told myself it was fine.
I told myself I was overthinking it. That he was just busier than usual, that he was under pressure.
I made excuses for him, ones he never even had to say out loud.
"He’s training harder." "He needs space." "Nothing’s wrong."
But deep down, I knew.
I knew when he started canceling plans.
It wasn’t dramatic.
No last-minute apologies, no elaborate excuses. Just a quiet shift.
A "Can we reschedule?" here, a "Next time, yeah?" there.
Plans that were once effortless, ones he used to fight for, rearrange his schedule for, suddenly became too difficult to make.
I knew when he stopped showing up unannounced at my university.
When I stopped catching him watching me from across the room.
When his touch, once so natural, so certain, became hesitant, like he was holding himself back.
The first time I felt it, really felt it, was at a party.
It was crowded, loud, the kind of scene he usually hated but endured because I was there.
I saw him across the room, talking to someone, a teammate, a friend, I wasn’t sure.
He was laughing, the kind of carefree laugh I hadn’t heard from him in weeks. And then, for just a second, his eyes met mine.
A beat of silence.
And then, he looked away.
I swallowed hard, trying to push down the sinking feeling in my chest. Maybe he hadn’t seen me.
Maybe I was imagining things.
But later that night, when I reached for his hand the way I always did, he didn’t pull me closer.
He let go.
And that was when I knew.
The boy who once fought for every second with me was now letting moments slip away.
The boy who once looked at me like I was his safe place now seemed distant, distracted, like he was carrying something he couldn’t share.
And then, one night, everything came crashing down.
It wasn’t one thing, it was everything.
A missed call that turned into three. A message left on read. An excuse that felt too rehearsed, too empty.
And finally, the truth, the thing I had been too afraid to admit to myself.
I wasn’t losing him.
I had already lost him.
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Meanwhile,
The ball bounced off his foot awkwardly, rolling too far ahead.
Gavi cursed under his breath, sprinting to recover it, but his timing was off again.
The pass he attempted was sloppy, the kind of mistake he never made, and when he looked up, he caught the coach watching him with narrowed eyes.
"Focus, Gavi!" the coach called out.
"Sí, míster," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
Something was off with him today, had been for days, if he was being honest.
He felt it in the way his movements were just a fraction too slow, in the way his mind wasn’t fully locked into the game.
Football was supposed to be his escape, the one thing that cleared his head. But lately, it wasn’t working.
And the reason?
Y/n.
He had been trying not to think about her.
Trying to push away the ache that settled in his chest whenever he saw her name on his phone screen and didn’t answer.
Whenever he caught himself reaching for his phone, only to stop himself. Avoidance was supposed to make this easier.
It wasn’t.
He didn’t notice Fermin watching him until his friend nudged him, breaking him from his thoughts.
"Alright, qué pasa contigo?" Fermin asked, keeping his voice low as they walked off the pitch for a water break.
"Nothing," Gavi answered too quickly, wiping sweat from his forehead.
Fermin snorted. "Yeah, sure. That’s why you’ve been playing like absolute shit today?"
"Fuck off," Gavi muttered, but there was no real bite behind his words.
Fermin wasn’t having it. "Seriously, bro. What’s going on? You’re not yourself."
For a second, Gavi considered brushing him off again.
But something about the way Fermin was looking at him, genuinely concerned, made him sigh in defeat.
"It’s about Y/n."
Fermin’s eyebrows raised slightly in recognition.
"The girl you’ve gotten close with?"
Gavi nodded, running a hand over his face.
"I thought you two were good. What happened?"
Gavi let out a breath, shaking his head. "Nothing happened… that’s the problem."
Fermin frowned. "Okay, you lost me."
Gavi hesitated before finally admitting, "I fell for her." The words felt heavy, like they had been weighing on his chest for too long.
"And I don’t know what to do with that."
Fermin stared at him for a beat before laughing under his breath.
"Pablo, you’re acting like that’s the worst thing in the world."
"You don’t get it." Gavi exhaled sharply.
"I never had someone like her before. She’s… different. She actually knows me, not just the football part of me, but me. And if I tell her how I feel and it ruins everything, I lose that. I lose her."
Fermin tilted his head, considering his words.
"So what? You decided the best solution was to avoid her?"
Gavi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I thought maybe if I put some distance between us, it would go away."
Fermin blinked at him. "Go away?"
"Yeah—"
"Are you dumb?" Fermin cut him off, looking genuinely baffled.
"Like, actually, physically dumb?"
Gavi scowled. "Qué?"
"You’re trying to avoid losing her, but you are losing her. Right now. Because you’re pushing her away." Fermin threw his hands up.
"Bro, you’re literally doing the one thing you don’t want to happen."
Gavi clenched his jaw, looking away.
He knew Fermin was right, but hearing it out loud made his stomach twist.
"Just talk to her," Fermin said, his tone softer now.
"Be honest. If she doesn’t feel the same, then yeah, it’ll suck, but at least you’ll know. At least you won’t lose her like this."
Gavi sighed, staring down at the grass beneath his feet.
"And if she does feel the same?" he asked quietly.
Fermin smirked, clapping a hand on his shoulder.
"Then you stop being a dumbass and finally do something about it."
Gavi rolled his eyes, shoving his hand off. "You’re annoying, you know that?"
"And you’re dramatic," Fermin shot back.
"Seriously, this is some novela-level shit."
Gavi groaned, tossing his water bottle at him. "Shut up, tío."
Fermin just laughed, dodging it easily.
"Nah, but for real, you owe me when you and Y/n get together. I'm talking VIP tickets, front row seats."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Gavi grumbled, but there was a small smile tugging at his lips now.
For the first time in weeks, he felt like he knew what he had to do.
He had to stop running.
And he had to tell you.
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Pablo had called.
Twice.
And then he had texted. "Can we talk?"
But I didn’t answer.
I told myself it was because I was still mad.
That I wasn’t ready to hear whatever excuse he had for pushing me away like I meant nothing.
But deep down, I knew the truth.
I was scared.
Scared that if I let him back in, he’d hurt me again.
That I’d start hoping, start falling again, only to end up in the same place, alone, confused, wondering where it all went wrong.
"You’re overthinking this."
I blinked, snapping out of my thoughts.
My best friend sat across from me, legs tucked under her as she scrolled through her phone like she hadn’t just said something completely outrageous.
"I am not overthinking," I defended, arms crossed.
She gave me a pointed look. "Oh really? So what do you call ignoring him for days instead of hearing him out?"
"I call it self-respect."
"Mhm, sure," she said, unimpressed.
"Or maybe… just maybe, you’re terrified of whatever he has to say because it might actually make sense."
I groaned, flopping back against the couch. "Why are you on his side?"
"I’m not on his side," she argued.
"I’m on the side of common sense, which neither of you seem to have. Look, men are dumb, babe. They don’t know how to act. They get feelings and then short-circuit like malfunctioning robots."
That made me laugh.
"So what, you think he just malfunctioned?" I teased.
"Obviously," she said dramatically.
"Poor guy probably thought ignoring you would fix his feelings. Meanwhile, here you are, going through all five stages of grief in your pajamas."
I smacked her arm, but I was laughing now, the weight in my chest feeling just a little lighter.
"I hate you," I muttered.
"No, you don’t," she sang, standing up and stretching.
"Alright, I gotta go. Just… think about calling him, okay? At least to yell at him properly. You deserve that much."
I rolled my eyes but nodded.
"That’s my girl," she said before grabbing her bag and heading out.
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The apartment was quiet now. Too quiet.
I sat on the couch, staring at my phone, thumb hovering over Pablo’s contact.
Should I call him?
My best friend’s words played in my head. "You deserve that much."
She wasn’t wrong. I did deserve an explanation.
But was I ready to hear it?
To let him back in when I wasn’t even sure I had fully healed from the way he had pushed me out?
I sighed, rubbing my temples. Maybe I’d sleep on it.
Maybe tomorrow—
Knock, knock.
I frowned.
Was my best friend back? Did she forget something?
I stood up, walking over to the door. "Did you leave your—"
My breath caught in my throat.
It wasn’t her.
It was him.
Pablo stood there, hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie, his hair slightly messy like he had run his fingers through it too many times.
His eyes met mine, and for a second, neither of us spoke.
"Can we talk?" he asked, voice quiet.
I should’ve slammed the door in his face.
Or at least made him wait longer, the way he had made me wait for an explanation.
But I didn’t.
I stepped aside, letting him in.
Pablo sat down on the couch, his knee bouncing slightly like he wasn’t sure how to start.
"I know you’re mad at me," he finally said.
I crossed my arms. "No shit."
He sighed. "I deserve that."
"Yeah, you do."
Silence.
He ran a hand through his hair.
"I messed up, Y/N. I know that. And I hate that I made you feel like I didn’t care, because I do. More than I should, probably."
My heart clenched, but I kept my expression neutral.
"Then why did you push me away?"
Pablo hesitated, like he was still debating whether to be fully honest.
Then, he exhaled sharply. "Because I fell for you."
I blinked. "What?"
"I fell for you," he repeated, looking at me now.
"And I freaked out. I thought if I ignored it, if I put space between us, maybe I wouldn’t ruin everything."
I stared at him, waiting for the logic to kick in.
It didn’t.
"So let me get this straight." I leaned forward.
"You caught feelings… and your solution was to avoid me?"
"Yes?"
"Pablo, that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard."
"Okay, Fermin already told me that, no need to gang up on me," he muttered, rubbing his temples.
"No, because—" I let out a frustrated groan.
"Do you even realize how badly that hurt? You were my best friend, Pablo. And then you just… disappeared."
His eyes softened, guilt flashing across his face.
"I know. And I hate that I hurt you. But, Y/n, I didn’t know what else to do. I’ve never had someone like you before. Someone who actually sees me. Not just the footballer, but me."
My heart skipped a beat.
"And I didn’t want to lose that," he continued, voice quieter now.
"I thought if I told you how I felt, I’d ruin what we had. But then, avoiding you just made me lose you anyway."
I sighed, shaking my head. "Yeah, it did."
Silence again.
Then, softer this time, he asked, "Can I fix it?"
I exhaled slowly. "You really are an idiot, you know that?"
He cracked a small smile. "Yeah, I’m getting that a lot lately."
I didn’t even realize I was smiling too.
The tension in the room slowly shifted, the weight in my chest lifting ever so slightly.
"So what now?" I asked.
Pablo hesitated before saying, "I don’t want to just be your friend anymore, Y/n. I want more. But if you don’t feel the same, I swear I’ll—"
I cut him off by grabbing his hand.
"You’re an idiot," I repeated. "But you’re my idiot."
His breath hitched. "So…?"
"So, you better not run away again."
His grin was instant, and before I could say anything else, he pulled me into a tight hug, burying his face in my shoulder.
"I won’t," he promised. "Not again."
I let myself melt into his embrace, my heart finally at peace.
We broke the hug, but his gaze never left mine.
Before I knew it, I felt his hand on my cheek, gently pulling me in for a passionate kiss.
Damn. It really was worth the wait.
Eventually, we both pull away to catch our breaths.
"So, does this mean we’re together now?" Pablo asked, grinning.
"I don’t know," I teased. "Are you gonna ignore me and be stupid again?"
"No!"
"Then I guess so."
He smirked. "You could’ve just said you wanted to be my girlfriend, princesa."
"And give you the satisfaction? Never."
He groaned, flopping onto the couch dramatically.
"Great. I’m dating a menace."
I threw a pillow at him. "And I’m dating an idiot. Perfect match."
He caught the pillow, tossing it aside before grabbing my hand again, this time intertwining our fingers.
"Yeah," he murmured, looking at me with that familiar, warm gaze.
"Perfect match."
And for the first time in weeks, everything felt right again.
The end
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alaia777 · 1 day ago
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i so squealed when i saw ur recent post could i request can we trade? yours is way better! with rin tysmmm i love ur work
oh my goddddd thank you so so so much, i hope you like it :’) i also love ur work !!!!!
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if you knew he was going to frown and grumble the entire walk to the café, you would’ve just left him at home. but no—he couldn’t listen. you warned him. you threatened him. if he so much as touched a football on his day off, you were going to invite his brother over to your guys’ place. and yet, here he was, dragging his feet like a kid forced to run errands, acting like this was some huge punishment.
the least he could do was suck it up and come with you, especially after you sat through 90 minutes of a match between two teams you couldn’t even be bothered to remember.
“if you want to spend quality time together, then you should sit down and do something i enjoy for once.” that’s what he said at the time. and thinking back on it now, you try not to cringe. he wasn’t just watching the game—he was in it, barking orders at the screen like a wannabe captain. or coach. either way, he gave you the ick that day.
“my friend told me this place is amazing. they make the best crepes in the world,” you say, glancing at him.
he stops for a second, frowning even harder—if that was even possible.
“crepes? you made me skip lunch because you were taking me out to eat, and we’re getting crepes?”
you ignored him and picked up the pace as soon as the café came into view. luckily, it wasn’t too crowded—you wanted to sit down and actually enjoy the atmosphere. you didn’t bother waiting for him, heading straight to the counter to order. and, okay, maybe you went a little overboard with the toppings. whipped cream, chocolate, and peanut butter sounded like a great combo in theory. but now, staring at your plate, you weren’t so sure. especially when you saw his. simple, golden, and so much more appetizing than the sugary mess in front of you.
you cut into yours and take a bite—or at least, you try to. the way all the toppings mix together on your fork makes your stomach turn. rin doesn’t even have to look up to know you’re staring at his. you’re not exactly subtle, practically slouching over the table to get your plates closer together. he can already hear you—
“can we trade? yours is way better!” you blurt out, already reaching with your fork.
but he’s faster, dragging his plate away before you can even think about stealing a bite.
“no. yours looks disgusting. what were you even thinking when you ordered that?”
you huff, glaring at him. “i was hungry, okay? not all of us spend hours strategizing our meals like we’re in a champions league final.”
you sigh and settle back into your chair, feeling a little guilty. how selfish of you to want to take his plate after you starved him of his lunch just because you couldn’t think straight in front of so many amazing toppings and flavors. you glance up briefly to see him getting out of his chair, probably to use the restroom, and you don’t bother looking away from your plate. maybe if you just open it up and eat it from the inside… or maybe you could fold it differently? you squint at it, trying to find a way to make this work.
you don’t even know how much time has passed since you started trying to figure out how to eat your damn crepes. all you know is that you’re completely lost in your thoughts when suddenly, your plate is replaced with another one. one with a single topping on it—your favorite one! you look up, and rin is already sitting back down, casually eating his own crepes.
“rinnnn,” you say in a whiny, happy voice, leaning toward him with a wide grin, “you actually love me so much, like, you can’t live without me, right? and you want to marry me right now, right?”
rin doesn’t even look up from his food, his tone deadpan as he answers.
“yeah, sure. after you finish that thing you call a crepe.”
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thezombieprostitute · 19 hours ago
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Your Champion: Changes
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Summary: Steve takes you somewhere safe.
A/N: Reader is female. No other physical descriptors used.
Warnings: Implied violence, Manipulation. Please let me know if I missed any!
Series Masterlist
Previous Chapter
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Steve did end up taking you out of the apartment, but not as payment for your father's debts. He tells you it's because he wants to keep you safe, to get you away from such a dangerous man.
You fight the urge to laugh at the absurdity. Steve literally burst into your life and started hitting your father. From what he's told you, he hurts a lot of people, even enjoys it! But sure, he's "rescued" you. If there's one good thing your father taught you it's that you don't argue with people who can hurt you.
So when he told you to pack your things, all you could think to do was comply. All of your clothes and your only photo of your mother fit into a single garbage bag with room to spare.
Your face burned with embarrassment when he asked, "is that really all you have?" But when he followed it by grumbling, "should have finished him off," you go cold. Your best option is the same as always: be quiet, be good.
"I'm gonna take you somewhere safe," Steve informs you in the car. "It's a halfway house, but it's still safer than living with your old man." You nod, relieved he isn't taking you back to his place.
"I'll also be driving you to and from work from now on."
Your eyes widen as you turn to look at him.
"I'm going to worry about you otherwise," he explains. "It'll be a longer trip to work than you're used to and I'd rather give you a ride than put you on the bus with a bunch of strangers."
Your eyebrows furrow on confusion. Does he not realize he's also a stranger?
"You are not to leave the house or the grocery store until I pick you up," he orders. "Do you understand?"
No, you think. But you nod your head yes, trying to placate him.
"If I had things my way you wouldn't even be going to work," he continues. "You'd be kept somewhere safe while you healed up from living with that monster for so long. But I've been told that routines can help and having a job can help your sense of worth. So I'll abide by Boss's rules and take you to Nat. But so help me, you need anything you tell me, ok?"
Again you nod. You don't understand much of what he's talking about, but you know what he wants from you. He's just like your father, he talks you listen.
"If your dad is smart he'll stay away from you. But I'll do some security checks around the halfway house and the grocery store from time to time. Just to make sure he's not lurking."
There's a long silence before he shakes his head at you. "Too in shock to even say 'thank you.' What the hell did he to you?"
"I'm sorry, sir," you blurt. "I didn't know you wanted verbal responses."
He huffs through his nose and places a hand on your knee. "No need to be so formal. Just call me Steve."
"Yes, Steve," you quickly reply. Anything to keep him happy, calm, placated.
When you finally reach your destination your somewhat grateful for Steve's insistence on driving you. You have no idea where you are in relation to Pete's Grocery, let alone where the bus stops are. You'd never had need to know any routes outside your normal ones. You've never been so far away from the familiar buildings.
A redheaded woman steps out the front door and she smiles at you.
"Hello there! Steve texted me that he was bringing another rescue."
Your shoulders relax a little. Maybe he does this a lot. Maybe he's just overly helpful to new "rescues". In any case, this woman seems to be used to him so maybe she can help you with him.
"She's agreed to let me take her to and from work," Steve interjects. "That should make things easier for you."
"Is that true?" Nat gives you a meaningful look.
You should tell the truth, that you didn't know you had other options. But it's also the truth that you agreed to his escorting you. And you were just thinking about how grateful you were to not have to ride the buses.
"Yes, ma'am, it's true."
"Okay then," she smiles. "Let's get you set up here, ok?"
Steve tries to follow into house but Nat stops him.
"Don't you need to report to Barnes?"
He sighs angrily and you freeze up. You wish you were strong like Nat clearly is. You can't imagine standing up to anyone like Steve but she's acting like it's not a big deal.
"I'll make sure she calls you before her next shift," Nat reassures him. "But I need to get her feeling safe and you can be quite intimidating."
Steve looks hurt. "I would never!"
Nat raises her hands in a placating gesture. "I know." She points to the house, "they probably know." She points to you, "she probably knows, too. But you can't always control yourself and I don't need you accidentally triggering these poor people."
He looks at you, "you know I'd never hurt you, right?"
"Yes, Steve," you quickly reassure him.
The response seems to soften his look from angry to grumpy.
"Ok. I'll be back to take her to work around 6 tomorrow."
"Sure thing, Champ," Nat smiles.
As Steve gets in his car he smiles and waves to you. You wave back but your brain keeps thinking, how does he know when my shift starts?
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Next Chapter
Series Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @darsynia; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @kmc1989; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63
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nilla03 · 2 days ago
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𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑥'
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𝑃𝑙𝑜𝑡:𝑗𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝑢𝑝 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒
𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠: 𝑏𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑗𝑒𝑎𝑛!
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Jean Kirstein wasn't just your baby's father
—he was the man who ran things. Tall, broad, dressed in crisp button-ups with the sleeves rolled up to show off his expensive watch and strong forearms, he always had this aura about him. He walked into a room, and people listened. He spoke, and people jumped.
And you? You were his spoiled little headache.
Not his wife-you never married-but that never seemed to stop him from acting like he owned you
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Jean barely had time to look up from the stack of papers on his desk before your voice cut through the quiet of his office.
“Kirstein, are you fucking serious?”
The door slammed shut behind you, your heels clicking furiously as you stormed toward his desk. Dressed in a sleek, black midi dress that hugged every curve just right, paired with strappy heels that only made you look more intimidating, you looked every bit like the spoiled, pissed-off mother of his child. Your gold jewelry caught the light as you crossed your arms, glare sharp enough to cut through him.
Jean leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples, already knowing exactly what this was about.
“Let me explain—”
“You forgot to pick up your son from daycare!” you snapped, cutting him off. “Jean, I had to leave work early because they called me saying he was the only baby left! Like some damn orphan waiting at the window!”
Jean sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “I got caught up with work, mama—”
“Oh, you got caught up?” You huffed, crossing your arms under your chest, making his eyes flick down for a second before snapping back up. “Right, because closing a deal is so much more important than picking up our son, huh?”
Jean exhaled, standing up and rounding the desk, his full height towering over you as he got closer. “Don’t do that,” he murmured, voice low and authoritative. “You know he’s my priority.”
Your glare didn’t waver, lips pressing into a pout, but Jean could see the way your shoulders tensed when he got close—like you already knew how this was going to go.
“I just—” You huffed again, looking away. “You said you’d get him, Jean.”
Jean tipped your chin up with two fingers, forcing you to meet his gaze. “And I fucked up. Won’t happen again.” His voice was softer now, but firm, like there was no room for argument. “Now, you done yelling at me, or you wanna keep this up?”
You narrowed your eyes. “I should keep this up.”
Jean smirked, his hands sliding down to your waist, tugging you closer. “Mm. Maybe.” His lips brushed the shell of your ear, voice dropping lower. “But you’re gettin’ all worked up over nothing, mama. You know I’ll make it up to you.”
You swallowed, your breath hitching as his hands tightened on your hips. “Jean—”
“I’ll pick him up all week,” he promised, lips ghosting over your cheek. “You can relax, go get your nails done, go shopping—whatever my pretty girl wants.”
Your pout deepened, but Jean could tell you were already softening. He grinned, knowing damn well that as mad as you were, it wouldn’t last long. You huffed in frustration, and with one last look at him, you turned on your heel, stomping out of his office.
Jean stayed where he was, leaning casually against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.
He could hear the muffled whispers from the nearby offices as his coworkers tried to sneak glances at you. One of them, a younger guy from finance, turned his head too quickly, his eyes flicking over you before immediately darting away, knowing he’d been caught.
Jean didn’t say anything at first, just standing there with that intense, quiet presence of his—until he caught the way the guy’s gaze lingered a little too long. His jaw tightened, and a subtle grin tugged at the corner of his lips as he pushed off the doorframe and moved toward the group of his coworkers.
He didn’t raise his voice, but the effect was immediate.
“Think I don’t notice what’s going on around here?” Jean’s voice was smooth but carrying just the right amount of authority. He tilted his head toward the young man who had been caught staring. “Eyes where they belong, or you’re working through lunch.”
The young guy froze, wide-eyed, and quickly averted his gaze, his face flushed with embarrassment. Jean’s smirk deepened as he leaned in just a little closer, the air around him shifting, becoming tense.
the entire office now aware of who exactly had the boss’s attention. And it wasn’t just business that had him intrigued—it was you.
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