#maybe as many times as i cried writing this jfc

[gingerpeachtea]

for ask game :) ❤️💕🦋💡🤔🎨

❤️ what is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

OOO i rly have to think about this one… i’m gonna give u a silly one and a Dramatic Serious one bc i can’t choose :) they’re both from a fic i haven’t posted yet called bkeoat (bus kids existence of all time) (i promise that’s just a stand in title LMFAO)

silly: “Your life is more important than some ugly fucking couch, Robbie.”

unsilly: Even louder was Jemma’s call of her name, a damning summon that echoed off the bathroom tiles like she had cried it out to God in a long-abandoned cathedral.

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💕what is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

OAUFHGGHHH…… tbh i think i gotta go with bkeoat. but out of the fics i’ve posted, then definitely lose your faith in me!!

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🦋 which character is your favorite to write?

daisy johnson forever and always!!!

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💡 how many WIPs do you current have?

18 total; 15 for aos (but only 6 main ones and the others i just go back to whenever i have time) and 3 so far for graceland :D

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🤔 would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

hmm depends which fandom. i don’t think i’d be interested in adding to canon for agents of shield, but for graceland i would GLADLY write a s4 where mike gets to experience SOME kind of fucking happiness for once bc jfc😭

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🎨 if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

OOOOOAUGHH…. daisy covered in robbie’s blood while dragging him through the door in bkeoat >:) or maybe jemma and daisy’s kiss at the end of that fic :D

[phoenixyfriend]

Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak​.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death,  I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says  “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and  Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia:  I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

[galadrieljones]

The Walking Dead: Episode 4.12, “Still” Rewatch

So I rewatched “Still” in honor of the Stilliversary tonight. My thoughts are not related much to Team Delusional stuff, more so just thoughts and idle analysis, but I had fun and definitely did not cry.

Here we go!

Beth is already feeling it, right away, after the trunk scene, ie: what he must think of her. She’s just another “dead girl” who needs to be protected. It is both insulting and embarrassing at the same time.

Daryl misses that squirrel and breaks an arrow! Dammit, Daryl. This is just another trial, but it’s interesting in how we see Daryl in like rote provider mode, and yet he makes a mistake.

The suck-ass camp begins with some Garden of Eden imagery: While Daryl skins and cooks the snake, Beth is admiring the beauty of a ladybug crawling on a leaf. The music is actually full of wonder. Beth sees the beauty in the natural world while Daryl sees it only for what he can use. It is an essential masculine vs. feminine moment, in terms of their individual themes, and what propels them and their actions. Their masculine and feminine energies will be subverted later though, and well-complicated, because the writing is good.

Beth brings up Hershel’s death early: “He’s not exactly around anymore so...” She wants to have a drink, maybe to rebel against her father, maybe to honor his memory, maybe to seal her own fate. It is a complicated choice for Beth. It’s not just some “dumb college bitch” moment. She knows this, but how is she supposed to communicate it to Daryl?

Daryl is like an animal eating that snake while Beth tries to talk to him. Literally, out of body. I imagine being her and just like, Ugh. Gross, dude. Then, when she leaves, Beth totally expects him to come after her. When she doesn’t see him right away, she mutters, “Jerk.” She called him a jerk in season 3, too, after he takes off with Merle. I think Beth is used to being treated nicely by boys. Ofc, Daryl, while he may not be an overt gentleman in his scarfing of that disgusting snake, was there watching her the whole time. 

“You wanna spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes? Screw that. We might as well do something.”

I sort of missed this before, the mention of “the rest of our lives.” It is a small acknowledgement that they are now “stuck together.” Ofc, Beth’s idea is to “make the most of it,” to go out into and DO something! Embrace the future! Daryl sees only the here, the now, and the past. He would prefer to stay still.

Unrelated but: God, Daryl is peak hot in this episode. 

Anyway, so, the state of Pine Vista, and what happened there. Jfc. It’s very ugly and very sad. The Dogtrot seems a reference to a dogtrot house, which is an old Appalachian style home. Basically like two shacks connected via a breezeway. I see some sort of backcountry types having moved in here and tortured the rich folk. There is evidence that “fun” was had. “Rich bitch,” etc. Maybe it’s the same psychopaths who tormented the OG Terminus crew, ultimately turning them into crazy cannibals.

Beth finds the Washington D.C. spoon. Why?? It’s such an odd, pointed shot, with a slow zoom. Is that where we’ll find her? Does anybody else know anything about this?? Anyway maybe this is a TD post lol.

Beth finds that bottle of wine and it’s a shame she has to break it! I remember feeling so bad about that the first time I watched this episode. Like NO BETH YOUR BOOZE!! She uses it to stab the shit out of that walker though, and to defend herself. She’s kind of pissed at Daryl for not helping her, again used to only the kindest of attention from boys. But Daryl isn’t like other boys (lol). He was there the whole time, once again, but he let it play out, because he knew she could do it. I like that her first (almost) drink here sort of has to become a weapon instead. Nothing is ever easy! And sometimes, the environment IS best observed, not in terms of its beauty or promise, but in terms of how its use can best be served to survive.

Tempus Fugit - Time flies! Oh, yes. Yes it does lol.

Daryl and Beth both need to escape their old selves here. Beth with her pretty cloths and Daryl stealing the cash and the jewels. They need to shake that shit off. Burn it all down, if you will. I think this episode we mostly associate with Daryl changing and having his epiphany, but Beth changes, too. She is just quieter at it.

It is 3 o’clock! The grandfather clock is this interesting motif that puts pressure on the situation literally while also bringing the symbolic pressure of time passing, running out, etc. It makes us feel detached from reality, like this is a purgatory episode. I like when The Walking Dead does this, like when they take us to a new place in which we become critically aware that this thing we’re watching is fiction, and by the rules of fiction, anything (ANYTHING) can happen.

“I know you think this is stupid, and it probably is, but I don’t care.” She just is who she is. She doesn’t give a shit what he thinks. I think that attracts Daryl to her in this moment and emboldens him. I think Daryl actually really cares what other people think of him, that he is keenly self-aware in this way. We see this fear manifest as Merle in Chupacabra, ie: that the rest of the group thinks he’s a “freak,” a piece of “redneck trash,” and that they’re all “laughing behind [his] back.” Meanwhile, Beth is just like, “You probably think I’m just some dumb bitch. But guess what, Daryl? I DON’T CARE.”

Beth sitting at that bar trying to clean out glasses: “Who needs a glass?” She clutches the bottle longingly and then cries. I would argue she is thinking of Hershel and the line of questioning that arises in this moment. Should she do this? Is she betraying him? This moment also contradicts what she tells Daryl in 4.1. “I don’t cry anymore Daryl.” This is the moment that breaks him.

Beth keeps trying to make him feel normal, while they’re walking to the shine shack. She thinks he used to be a motorcycle mechanic. But Daryl’s normal is not hers, and he doesn’t really do small talk. In these little moments, we see him being who he is. Daryl is really good at being who he is when who he is revolves around passivity and silence.

They go from country club to moonshine shack. What we see is how a class divide might differ in longevity. A country club full of walkers, made out of humans who turned against each other, every bottle dry in the house vs. an empty shine shack, no death in sight, absolutely full of booze. When societal protections collapse around us, it is the ruthless and the bereft who will know how best to survive. It’s like Beth sad about Daryl, being “made for this world.” 

They are trapped! Tropes. So many romantic tropes! Lol at people who would like to ignore that any of this happened or that Bethyl was never canon.

This: 

Anyway, I think Daryl is actually pretty mean to Beth toward the end here, out on the porch, like the way he treats her, kind of tugs her around physically. He doesn’t hurt her, but he is not gentle. This puts things into harsh perspective for Beth, as I do think that, while he is not right in how he handles her here, he is right in some ways about who she is. She is not naive but she is used to protection and safety and relying on others, the same way he is used to the opposite of those things. Both of them need to learn how to exist from the other side. 

Beth also sees what’s going on, however. I think she also might be used to this sort of quasi-violent, performative, drunken behavior. Her dad was a drunk. I think it’s interesting that so much of this episode hinges on alcohol in Hershel’s wake. I always thought this might be one reason Beth is drawn to and accepting of Daryl. We only really see Hershel while sober (I mean, mostly). We never saw him in his deep element of alcoholism, but Beth did. She is not innocent to vices or men spinning out of control. It’s why Beth responds to Daryl’s whole insane story about the tweaker and Merle with, “You miss him, don’t you?” She doesn’t care that Merle was a degenerate drug addict. He was Daryl’s brother who died. She has loved and lost an addict, too.

Before, Daryl was just “drifting.” In this episode, Beth gives him a quest. I think that’s very important. She also gives him something to look forward to:

“You got away from it.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me of it sometimes.”

The hint at their future: “You gotta keep on reminding me,” he says, counting on them staying together. Beth is so kind to him here, too, even doting as she talks about him being the “last man standing.” I can’t imagine a girl has ever treated Daryl like this. I think she scares the living shit out of him.

Daryl suggests they go back into the shine shack, but Beth says they should burn the place down instead. Again, stillness vs. action. See their complimentary traits: Daryl is passive. He needs someone to tell him this is okay. Beth is active. She does what she wants. It is uniquely antithetical to their gender roles and subverts the power dynamic we might otherwise expect from a relationship like this: Daryl is older and a man. Ofc he should be the more aggressive, assertive one. The actor. But he’s not. It’s Beth who makes their choices in this episode. Daryl follows her and protects her along the way. 

The ending is so happy. Oh my god. Anyway.

Thank you for humoring me. Happy Stilliversary!! 😭🥺❤️

[homoose]

moose’s year in review

(this took me FOREVER i’m so sorry also it got so long so it’s under a cut)

@softyreid​ @idmakeitbehave​ @summerygubler​ @goldentournesol​ @reidscanehand​ @feverdreamreid​ @specialagentsergio​ @zhuzhubii​ @writing-in-april​ @moon-light-jukebox​ @90spumkin​ @gubetube​ tagged me as one of their favorite creators (OMG THIS IS INSANE I LOVE YOU ALL!!!)

first creation + most recent creation of 2020

first creation: Winning is a Habit!

most recent creation: Only the Best for Jeremy (sfw) and You Know Better (nsfw)

one of your favorite creations from 2020

Lighthouse, that’s it, end of story. that story is like all of the things i ever wanted for Spencer Reid all rolled into one fic. it was a BEAST to write but it is one of my favorite things i’ve written ever and objectively I also think it’s just a good piece of writing.

a creation you’re really proud of

Hype Man (mostly sfw), hands down. MANY people have told me that this fic helped them through a bad body image day/made them feel really good about themselves, and man if that isn’t the BEST feeling as a writer!!!!!

a new style you tried this year & a fic that uses it

ok Tie It Back (nsfw) is a very simple, beautiful, flowery, nondescript style of writing that I’d never written in before and i love it!!!!!!

a creation that took you forever

okay, so none of the individual stories took that long to write, but a very moosey ficmas was such an undertaking and collectively took me like two weeks to write

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes

Mission Accomplished (nsfw) has 751 notes!!!!!!!! jfc wow y’all some hornee benches

Weird is Good (sfw) has 730 notes and started off arguably the biggest writing project I’ve ever done and wow i’m just real grateful

a creation you think deserved more notes

To Rip or Not to Rip only has 69 (lol) notes and I know it’s because Tara doesn’t have a super wide fic audience but it’s the first fic i wrote for ficmas and i LOVE it because it is so domestic and i think I wrote Tara pretty well and also she’s a queen and I love her

a new fandom you joined & a creation you made for it

criminal minds is the only fandom i’m in!!!!!! all my creations are cm fics :)

a creation you made that breaks your heart

the latest chapter of TMSIDK really broke me tbh

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love

Santa’s Working On It is only 582 words but it is filled with so much love and I think that last paragraph is really something

a creation that was inspired by another one

Through the Smoke was inspired by the episodes it’s set in, but I don’t think i’ve written anything inspired by another fic yet

a favorite creation created by someone else

ugh SO MANY just go to my rec tag but if I had to pick my favorites:

the whole damn masterlist by @spacedikut​ because i’m not kidding i go back and read all of them like.... all the time (start with spooky scary skeletons maybe bc it’s one of my faves)

Serendipity by @idmakeitbehave​ because it is just so so so good. so soft and so magical wow yes.

The Statistical Probability of Falling in Love by @reidscanehand​ because it’s just so well-written, such an excellent characterization of spencer, and just give me all the fics of spencer being loved and appreciated just for bein himself

Be Careful What You Wish For by @goldentournesol​ because wow yes love the concept of reliving what you thought you wanted in a dream sequence and then realizing you don’t actually want that bc you love your life!!!!!

Illustrated Man by @definitelynotkatesblog​ because I seriously cried reading this it is absolutely one of the best things I’ve read on this site

Serendipity by @halloweenhoneylover​ because it is straight up one of the best characterizations of spencer I’ve ever read

Love My Way by @ssahoodrathotchner because soft hotch rights

some of your favorite content creators from the year

god SO MANY and I know I’m going to forget someone but other than the seven people i just mentioned: @joodeduarte (GORG gifs) @zhuzhubii @criminalmindzjunkie @andiebeaword @brywrites @90spumkin @specialagentsergio @sleepyreid @softyreid @moon-light-jukebox @writing-in-april @gubetube @squiggledrop @feverdreamreid @summerygubler @spencersblog

& for good measure, a couple more creations of yours that you love

Atlas (my first Spencer fic that still holds a place in my heart); Breaking the Seal (it’s just so domestic i love); Enter with Abandon (not! abandoned just trying to finish TMSIDK first); We Don’t Have to Pretend (EMILY!); Merry Christmas, Baby Girl (bc MORCIA); Enjoy It While It Lasts (bc GARVEZ); All I Want for Christmas (bc Aaron Hotchner is my soft boi)

tagging: i’m pretty sure most of y’all have already been tagged, but anyone mentioned that hasn’t done it yet!!!!!!!!!

[yehet-me-up]

Content Tag Game

Tagged by EXO sister-wife Kat @yeoldontknow​ <3 1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?

uhhh I definitely wrote half of several harry potter and lotr fanfics in HS but that was ‘the dark times’ many moons ago. so as an adult this is my only fandom! just stumbled into kpop and stumbled onto fanfics in the most backwards way possible (was sent a meme of a 1D ‘imagine’ and was like hey I wonder if they have these for kpop and then I found them and they were not a meme, but were fucking incredible AND NOW 4 YEARS LATER (started August-ish 2017???) here we are hahaha)

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

oh dear god i just remembered I have an AO3 account..... WHOOPS, shit 😅 might need to, y’know, update that at some point. jfc adhd object permanence is something else.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

Personally it’s sci fi/fantasy, but here in the fanfic space I’d say..... uhh slice of life, romance, angst but make it a happy ending?? fanfic is a way for me to share all the sort romantic hopeful feelings I have about love and life and friendship and purpose 💕

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

Used to be a pantser when I started this (and when fics used to be like ?? 3k-5k) now that fics in general are longer for one-shots and series my good lord I need an outline. Especially for exo mall which is *insert meme of crazy guy with the bulletin board* a lot for my brain haha

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

I’d say mine are usually 5k or so?? some series were shorter per chapter, depending on subject matter. I tend to write like... interconnected long as frick oneshots, so i don’t count those as chapters ☠️

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

uhhhhh good question haha. my book was 95k and I think exo mall is like *dammit math* 140k or something that has significantly gotten out of hand. I have two more fics so it will probably be like 180ish when it’s done?? not including the drabbles to come haha 

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I loved No Quarter and torturing Kat with her husband, also staying up all night to finish Chanyeol’s exo mall knowing kat had NO idea it was coming was a BLAST. Kyungsoo’s exo mall was one of the most ‘in the flow’ writing experiences i’ve ever had. I wrote this Baek oneshot at like 3am when i couldn’t sleep once and tbh it felt like I wrote it in a dream. ja;slkfjasd I love so many of these this is like a trip down memory lane, so I’m going to be a wh*re and say two more haha.  This is the most honest and close to ‘real life’ thing I think I’ve written on here (and also one of the only sex scenes I didn’t lose my goddamned mind trying to write a;sldkfja;sdf). And lastly Ablaze, which was the longest thing I’d written (I think) and let me know that hey? maybe I could write a book someday <3

11. favorite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

This request for Exo Mall Baek was such a joy to write! And for some reason this Taeyong drabble makes me wish I had the time/energy to write it into a full story, it gripped me so much when I wrote it, like a movie had fully downloaded into my brain out of nowhere.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

For sure! I’d say found family is a big one. Trusting that you’ll find your place even if things don’t make sense or you feel unsure. Believing that love is worth the risk and fear of trusting someone ;laksjdfal;sd. That love can be big gestures and super intense, but that after that fades away it’s the small daily moments that matter most - the people who stay and listen when you’re sad, holding hands and forehead kisses, taking care of people when they’re sick or scared or just need company, showing up to try again or to communicate even when things are hard. 

Someone commented on a fic of mine ages ago that I helped them see that real love (of that small, daily, consistent kind) is possible and MAYHAPS I cried because underneath it all, that’s what I’d want people to take away - that love of all kinds is scary, but it’s always worth it in the end <3

13. current number of wips?

Surprisingly just ... 3? wow how time has changed hahaha. I have Jun + Baek for exo mall (plus some drabbles but that will be something people write in about, so I wouldn’t consider them wips) and then I maaaaay continute on here with the Jun + Min regency baes series. We shall see :)

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

1. I can’t NOT write Baekhyun as the biggest cheesy dork in the entire world 2. That I’ll always have endless fantasy world to live in. I have to try actively to not start new WIPs because it’s so damn easy to be inspired. If I’m ever bored I know that I can jump into some story and let myself be carried away for a while 3. that who and how i am in real life is not usually the same person that i am when it comes to the vibe of my writing, and that that’s totally okay <3

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“I wish it had been with someone like you, though,” you say, squeezing his hand.

“Someone like me?” he says, raising his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

You look down at the floor, trying to figure out how to put how he makes you feel into words. “Yeah, someone strong, and steady. And safe.”

He lets out a laugh. “Safe? That sounds awfully similar to boring.”

“No, no. You don’t understand,” you say emphatically, coming to stand fully in front of him, grabbing his other hand as well. “You never ask me to be anything but who I am. You’re patient, kind, caring. For the longest time I thought that falling in love would be stifling. That it would… I don’t know, take my independence. Take my spirit. Make me into someone I don’t recognize.”

You step closer, holding his face in your hands. “But I can’t think of anything I want more than to be with you. You make me the best version of who I am. I don’t know how it is for you, being with me. But when I’m with you, it just feels like… home,” you finish gently.

- from Kyungsoo’s exo mall because THIS is how I feel about falling in love now, and this story was me working out what I believed about the process (like a goddamned emo bish haha)

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

For a moment you allow yourself this weakness. It won't destroy you to admire the strong lines of his body, the intensity and focus in the set of his brows, the deep, warm color brown of his eyes as they - oh lord, he's looking directly at you. As he notices you watching him his lips press into a small smile, inclining his head towards you.

'Oh no,' you say, mortified. In a breath you've blinked and drawn your arm through Maggie's, weaving your way through the crowd and dragging her with you.

'What's wrong?' she hisses in your ear, slightly off-kilter from the drink and revelry. 'You're going to tear my arm off.’.

'Sorry, he -' With a hand you push through the front doors, gulping in the cool night air and breathing deeply to steady the erratic pace of your heartbeat. 'Maggie, what's happening to me? He looked at me and I felt so... naked. I can't explain it.'

She realizes you aren't in actual distress and laughs. 'Good. About time you fell in love. I'm delighted.'

- From perhaps a future chapter of Jun and Min regency baes series....

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

Thank you so much. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. This fandom brought writing back into my life after such a long time away and I had no idea I would love it so much. The friends it’s brought me and the kind words that made me cry or cheered me up on a shitty day or made me laugh out loud and the watching other writers grow on their journeys. Getting to hear how something I made could help you feel less alone or less sad on a shitty day is all I’ve ever wanted from sharing all this. Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me <3

Tagging anyone who sees this who would like to do it, even if you don’t consider yourself a “real writer” yet (yes you are, stop doubting yourself!!!!) 😘

[sadaveniren]

Annual Writing Evaluation 2020

Ssssssh I know it’s the beginning of January. I’m late. I was tagged by @daggerandrose​ and @lululawrence​ to do this. They were two slightly different ones so I just... Mashed them together. Whoops

1. List of Stories published this year: Did you let him leave a necklace (yup)

Fellowship of Eroda

Can we pretend (honestly reality bores me)

Tastes like strawberries

Just for tonight (I can be yours)

Fun time candles

The animals play

Knife’s edge

You’re outta control (what is your mind)

When you’re good to mama (he surprises you)

One shot two shot (you and me)

Clean up, clean up (everybody have some fun)

So wonderful and warm

Here comes the men in black (my soulmate)

Here to stay (here to play)

The happiest season

2. Word count posted for the year: 161,374 (jfc)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Taste Like Strawberries

Bookmarks: Just For Tonight (I can be yours)

Comments: The Happiest Season

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):  That’s tough. I know in another post I was like EVERY FIC I POSTED WAS A VICTORY and that’s true. I think I’m most proud of Here to Stay (here to play) because for an entire month every night I sat down and wrote start to finish a whole fic. Sure some of those Fics were 400 words but listen... I come from fandom of old where there were the 100 fic challenges and even trying to write 100 word Drabbles is HARD. You’re making a whole story every day and it felt good! I felt accomplished!!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I really really wish Here Comes the Men in Black (my soulmate) had come out different. I had much bigger plans and they got scrapped and I just. Wish things had gone different. But I was writing it as I struggled with the dreaded 4 month sleep regression which lasted TWO WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS AND I DID NOT GET MORE THAN 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AT A TIME FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS AND GOD IT WAS THE WORST SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A SERIOUS HEALTH CONDITION. So the biggest thing to fall away during that time was my writing. And that fic sadly suffered because of it 😔

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Every reviewer who commented during Kinktober and said that they weren’t usually a fan of the kink of the day but they trusted me enough to give the chapter a shot. A special shoutout to those who tried the rape fantasy chapter because of that trust.

A special SPECIAL shoutout to the asshole who asked me to tag every time I wrote girl direction for kinktober and told me they refused to read any of the chapters on the off chance I surprised them with a vagina or something.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Literally all fucking year. March-April-May was a particularly fuzzy time for me. I think any writing I got done was on my phone, half asleep, with my fingers cramping

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Louis in Fellowship to Eroda was a lot of fun to write. That fic overall was really fun to write because I got to include a lot of DND stuff and some of my favorite dialogue was there.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: From You’re Outta Control (what is your mind)

“You wanna ride daddy’s cock?”

The train was barreling along and Harry knew he didn’t have much time to make his decision. He quickly nodded.

Louis made quick work of unzipping his fly and turning Harry around so his back was facing his chest. He pulled him back by his hips and settled him down on his cock.

They both moaned at the sensation, and being so exposed. And then they started to fuck. It was wild, erratic, and desperate.

“Just think,” Louis groaned, “if I had an alpha cock. How we wouldn’t be able to do this if I knotted you.” Harry’s breath caught and he wiggled his hips. “Or maybe we would. You stuck on my knot through fuck knows how many stops. People coming and going. Seeing you there. Squirming like a little slut.”

Harry gasped. His mouth hung open as he tried to suck in air and ride Louis’ cock at the same time.

“Louder,” Louis demanded. His voice was beginning to sound strained. “Want your moans to fill up the whole car.”

It took effort but Harry was helped along when Louis reached around and wrapped his fingers around his cock. Then he moaned and it echoed in the empty train car.

“That’s right. Fucking yourself on daddy’s omega cock. So much better than some alpha’s knot isn’t it?”

“Daddy,” Harry whined. He bounced faster, eyes closed. He knew if he didn’t come before the next stop he wouldn’t be able to stop and anyone who came onto the car would see.

“Think how much come you’d have to hide if I was some alpha. It would leak out. Drip onto the floor.” Harry gasped. He was so close and his cunt squeezed around Louis’ cock as he tried to pull Louis with him. “Instead you’ll be pumped full of my omega seed-“ Louis’ voice cut off as he came, pulling Harry down flush against his hips as he came in him.

Harry watched as his own cock squirted come onto the floor and he cried out in embarrassment and lust.

The train was still running as they both caught their breath and it only started to slow down for the next stop as Louis edged Harry off of his cock. Harry could feel the mix of his slick and Louis’ come starting to slide out of him as Louis pushed him to the ground.

“Clean daddy off,” Louis said. His fingers tangled in Harry’s hair as he pulled Harry’s mouth to his slick covered cock.

The train was slowing down. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest as he got to his knees. He caught Louis’ eye. The lights from the station were starting to filter in through the window. Louis squeezed his fingers in his hair.

“What are you waiting for? These are expensive trousers and I don’t want your slick ruining them.” Harry could see the stain his slick had already left around the zipper of Louis’ trousers. “Clean me off.”

They jolted to a stop and the doors hissed open. Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ cock, licking him clean. He spread his legs as Louis’ come leaked out of him and onto the floor.

The doors dinged, singling they were closing and Louis pulled his mouth off of him. Harry stared up at him from where he was kneeling on the ground and Louis smiled.

“There’s a good omega. Come sit up next to me.”

Harry looked around. The car was still empty. His entire body sagged from adrenaline and he turned to kiss Louis. “We would have been in so much trouble if we’d been caught.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I lost…. a lot of fucks. I used to agonize about the fics I put out, and I still did, but this year I waded through writing a lot of stuff that normally I wouldn’t just because I didn’t feel ~motivated~ that day. But between Kinktober, and my advent fic, and just, forcing myself to finish fics even when I felt uninspired, I produced a lot more than I planned and that’s really important to me! But it also means that I learned to let fics go a lot earlier.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: Continue to just… write. I don’t have any big things I want to work on. Maybe crafting overall non-romantic plots? I’m trying that out for my big bang…. we’ll see how that goes.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @lululawrence​ and @londonfoginacup are literally my rocks in writing at this point. They were so helpful while I cried about not being able to finish any fics ever, and reminded me constantly to be kind to myself. Jenna and @becomeawendybird were also just so so encouraging and I think without them I would be absolutely lost.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: lol. Yes. Next.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: write smut horny, edit after. (or don’t like… fuck it no one reading your smut is gonna care when they’re getting off to it)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m focused on my big bang which I hope people will enjoy. And then… Man if I could finish my eternal WIP that would be EXCELLENT. But who knows!! Maybe a plot bunny will hit me.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. I think everyone has done this cause I’m late. Whoops.

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[cinnaminsvga]

what are your favorite fics you read for every member? like the ones that resonated and left you a changed woman when you finished. could be because of characterization, or plot, or nostalgia, just the ones that come first and easy for every member, like, the iconic ones for you. can be mxm. i'm asking cause i just read worldwide lonesome and. damb. just. i kinda feel like i read seokjin’s diary or something? like it felt invasive just bc of how REAL he felt, you feel me? so. i'm curious about u

this is such a loaded ask because honestly, i had to think really deeply about this!! there are so many fics out there that have changed me as a writer and as a person in general that its hard to pick just seven... but i’m glad you mentioned worldwide lonesome because that fic is definitely!! fucking!! up there!! it might actually be my #1 seokjin fic, so you already got me there. but man... i put a lot of thought into my answer because my reading list is a never-ending pool of queerness and angstiness, as those tend to resonate the most deeply with me (since i am, after all, both queer and angsty HAHAH) so uhhh... here i go!! (also i apologize that these are mostly mxm... weirdly enough, i’m kind of more affected by those bc i relate more to them than reader inserts for some reason... the world is bombarded with hetero representation, so excuse me for clinging to my sole source of queer love lmao)

➤ for seokjin:

worldwide lonesome by loindexter [yoonjin] - i already mentioned it, but MAN... this fic left me stunned. the characterization of seokjin is what gets me the most, and by god, i am a SUCKER for coming out stories. as a closeted queer person, i’ve always wondered what other people’s experiences are with coming to terms with their sexuality, and op really hits the nail on the head. seokjin in this fic just feels... so real. like you said, it almost felt like i was looking into his diary!! it was maddening and tearjerking and oh so fucking human... you could feel his turmoil as if it were your own... and yoongi!! dear god, yoongi... that sweet fool... this fic just struck a cord with me because of how intimate and vulnerable it felt. i really hope i can write a fic like that in the future.

➤ for yoongi:

here comes the sun by fruitily [yoonkook] - this was unequivocally the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make in my life, mostly because i’ve read a plethora of yoongi fics in my day and it is quite literally so difficult to pin down a singular fic that changed me the most as a person. the reason i chose this certain fruitily fic (op will always be my biggest writing idol... if i could, i’d list down their entire masterlist as my favorite yoongi/jungkook fics of all time) because of the emotions it made me feel. there’s always something a bit sad about summer romances, and i’ve always been a sucker for that sort of trope because of the many possibilities you can do with it. it’s just... the way yoongi was portrayed here was just so darn REAL,,, you could almost physically feel his increasing want, his slow realization that yes, he does love the bucktoothed kid from summer camp. i absolutely adore the interactions he has with all the characters, because you can almost fool yourself into thinking he’s a real person. he’s a friend, and you’re watching him come to terms with what it means to love someone you only see once a year. dear lord i love that dude i’m gonna go cry now!!

(also bc i’m cheating but i also recommend the nights really were made for saying things you can't say tomorrow day by siderum... first yoonkook fic i ever read and dare i say it literally changed me as a person. there are no words.)

➤ for hoseok:

depaysement by 1honeypot (oilblotter/obiwrites) - okay i know this is fucked up for me to recommend a fic that doesn’t even exist on the internet anymore (op deleted her account on tumblr and has moved to ao3 but she’s never gonna reupload this fic again unfortunately) but MAN i still remember that fic to this day. it was so fucking GOOD and it made me realize the potential reader fics had that i never knew was possible. the entire plot was the usual make-over cliche (popular trendy girl makes the nerd hot yadah yadah yadah) that i had thought wouldn’t be interesting, but op managed to turn that trope into her own. it was hilarious, hot, moving, relatable... just ticking off every point that makes a fic great. i miss that fic so dearly and if you were some of the lucky few who managed to read it when it was still around... i think you all understand.

➤ for namjoon:

beta tau sigma by bazooka [namjin] - i cannot count the amount of times i’ve reread this fic. like, no joke, i probably memorize a few of the chapters from rereading it alone. holy fuck,,, as you can tell, i have a pattern when it comes to my fave fics and it’s all about: GAY PANIC THE MUSICAL!! yea... i just really like fics about self-discovery because MAN as a young adult traversing the mysteries of human nature and sexuality, i sincerely relate to namjoon in this fic. “am i gay, or am i just gay for my best friend?” is a question i have asked myself NUMEROUS times... dear god, namjoon is just a walking catastrophe and i!! could not!! relate!! more!! the plot flow and immersion you get from this fic is out of this world. you almost feel like you’re in the same frat as them!! i also love the way op made even the side characters have their own story arcs and backgrounds... they are what inspired me to give life to even the smallest of characters bc it just heightens the reading experience imo!! they really do feel like your friends in this fic, and this fic will always be my sources of comfort.

➤ for jimin:

darling, just say you’ll say by tusaisbts [yoonmin] - have i not sung this fic enough praises? i know it looks weird from the premise... cowboys? mail order brides? i thought it was odd at first too, but believe me when i say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. jimin’s growth as a character here left me absolutely speechless!! i just love his development: from a scared stranger dropped off in the middle of nowhere to a smart and capable teacher who can hold his own in this small rural town. i especially love how he interacts with yoongi, because op really makes you want to root for them. you want them to fall in love, to make their relationship work out. that yearning for two characters to get together is something i want my own readers to feel, and there aren’t enough words in my vernacular to explain how happy i was when everything turned out well. and jfc... rancher yoongi? got me so fucking hot n bothered and now i will forever be enamored by the thought of rugged yoongi... jfc...

➤ for taehyung (& jimin!!):

mudlands & yellow acacia by nonheather [vmin] - i remember the day i read this like it was yesterday. i had a final to study for, but instead i read this entire thing in one go and then i cried my eyes out even until the moment i walked into my exam room. i don’t know how else to describe this other than it was otherworldly. it was cozy. it was heartbreaking and magical and downright lovely. i especially loved the way taehyung was here... so fucking whipped for park jimin. he loved like no other man could, and jimin might have been a little too bullheaded at first, but they make it out okay. i’m not really one to believe in soulmates, but this fic almost made me believe they could be. it made me yearn for the first time, and i think that counts for something. to love another person and to have them love you back... op made me believe in love. 

➤ for jungkook:

years since you’ve been here by ameliabedelias [namkook] - okay maybe i’m just a crybaby and i cry at every fic under the sun but dear god this fic... might be The Fic That Changed Me As A Person. like, of course the other fics were mindblowing but this one in particular... wow. trampled all my expectations and caused a garden to bloom in my heart. jungkook is so sweet, so lost... he feels too much and he aches for namjoon. i know all too well that feeling of melancholy... when you love someone you’re not supposed to. coming of age stories will always have a soft spot in my heart, because i always tend to project myself onto the main characters. i want to grow and find my own destiny. i want to learn and be happy. jungkook finds his way, tumbles and trips the entire time, but he gets there. a symbol of queer triumph.

[eatprayworm]

rongzhi lil red riding hood/fairytale au headcanons

so yesterday i posted a lil red riding hood au fic for ding rong/wang zhi. i’ve come up with various headcanons for this ‘verse, and since i don’t think i’ll be writing up a proper fic for it, i thought i’d put them here if anyone is interested :)

ding rong is indeed a forest god (in the form of a wolf, though he can change into human form) and he’s bound to the forest. he cannot leave it.

so, wang zhi is the one who must do all the visiting, and he’s find with that. though when he reunites with ding rong, he notices the shack is still messy. and he’s like “this place is an absolute DUMP look if you want me to come back, you need to clean this place up. idc that you’re a wolf, this is unsanitary smh.”

ding rong is just so ???? amused and fond. this cute little human, bossing him around like he’s one of his men and not an ancient, powerful creature. so silly. so cute. glad he spared him. etc.

the next time wang zhi visits, the shack is indeed cleaned up! and wang zhi brought with him a few sets of robes. “idc that you’re usually in wolf form, when i visit you’re wearing the robes of the old apothecary, rest his soul, we gotta change that.”

ding rong is again Amused and Fond. he thinks that wang zhi kinda likes how ding rong’s shoulders and collarbone are exposed by the too-large robes but he humors the lil human and does wear the robes. the purple one is his favorite.

sometimes they just walk in the woods together, ding rong in human form. the woods feel different when he’s at wang zhi’s side. like the forest is responding to his presence. also sometimes random birds just land on his shoulder and ding rong gives them pats. 

jia kui notices that wang zhi visits the woods A Lot and he’s like “we should cut down the woods so enemies can’t hide in them” and wang zhi is appalled. like excuse me???? we are NOT doing that, what a horrible take jia kui, jfc.

one day jia kui follows wang zhi to the woods, and he too finds the cabin. cue jia kui seeing wang zhi on the lap of some strange man. ding rong knows he’s there and is about to Attacc but wang zhi intervenes. explains to jia kui. he is Very Tired (a theme of how jia kui feels about rongzhi in all my fics) but allows it

eventually wang zhi gets his military governor promotion, and he is excited but....that means no more visiting his man. :( so they have a very sweet, fond farewell. wang zhi def cries bc he’s soft and promises he’ll return when he can. ding rong, knowing this day would come, just wipes away a tear and nods.

wang zhi can’t visit for some time bc he is Busy. he’s about a month into his new position when a bird flies at his window, pecking incessantly on the frame to be allowed in. wang zhi knows he’s seen this bird before.... it’s a large bird, some kind of falcon or kestrel maybe, but wang zhi can’t be sure.

the bird is carefully holding a letter in one foot. wang zhi takes it and opens it, and it’s a letter from ding rong, who has the most elegant penmanship he’s ever seen. wang zhi is very !!! he writes a letter back and comments on his beautiful characters. ding rong snorts bc silly human. "such a flatterer. don’t you know you already have me?”

they exchange letters here and there, occasionally sending each other gifts. and one day wang zhi can visit and instead of seeing ding rong in human form, he is met with a giant wolf who gives him many sloppy kisses and wang zhi is like wtf!!!! now i have to bathe again, you got fur and drool everywhere!!! ding rong reverts to human form like “i can help you with that :)))” and wang zhi is less annoyed. the end.

[doux-amer]

Top books I read in 2019 in no particular order

❤️ = favorites, everything else = books I enjoyed or found fun. 

Hey wow, I didn’t notice this until now, but all but one of these are by women and gay men and two are by POC. I’m saying this not for woke points as this wasn’t a conscious decision—although I really do want to make a deliberate choice of reading more books by and about people from marginalized communities—but because if you’re looking for books by or about women, POC, or queer people, maybe this list will be of interest to you.

Know My Name - Chanel Miller ❤️ A MUST-READ. The book I need EVERYONE to read. Devastating, terrifying, and so beautiful. Grueling to get through, but it's worth it. Chanel's prose is so exacting and lyrical at the same time, and despite the darkness, there’s so much shining examples of love, compassionate, and bravery in this. I knew going in that what happened to her (for those of you who don’t know, she’s the woman in the Stanford rape trial) was horrible and that it’s difficult for victims to come forward because they have to relive their trauma. I still wasn’t prepared for how excruciating it is, and this is the first time I ever knew what it would feel like (or at least get an account so detailed that I felt like I was in Chanel’s body and mind reading it). I cried. I don’t know how I read most of this at work because I was on the verge of crying so many times while reading it. And yet, like I said, it’s not all bad. I was able to see how strong and compassionate Chanel is and just how enormously talented she is as a writer. I’m beyond excited to see what the future holds for her as a writer, artist, and human being.

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators - Ronan Farrow Fascinating account on how NBC, Weinstein, etc. tried to stop Ronan from doing his excellent and essential reporting and Weinstein's victims from coming forward. There are, I kid you not, spies involved, and the level of stalking and intimidation is terrifying. It’s unfathomable, what these women went through, and makes you understand why exactly so many of them kept quiet, other than the usual reasons why many victims do. Also, Ronan isn't shy about being critical about his shortcomings and is a nerd sometimes haha. Fun, irrelevant fact: I talked with Ronan this year and almost choked when I did (he was very nice though!).

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli Very cute! My sister said it was better than the movie which I didn't watch but is the reason I wanted to read this. I haven’t read a nice YA novel in a while so this made me happy. It’s an easy, fast read (and it’s a gay romance for those of you looking for queer content!), but you’re very invested in the characters and their feelings. I also want to punch you-know-who so badly, and I’m so relieved that that person wasn’t forgiven. 

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong ❤️  Most beautiful book I read this year. As raw and tender and sometimes bloody as ripped, torn knuckles. Ocean's talent is as vast as the ocean (unfortunately, I'm not as talented a writer as he is so please have this cheesy declaration of admiration). What. a. debut. So many lines have stayed with me, and I'm still sad over the relationships in this novel. Sorry to talk about white boys, but jfc let me cry over Travis, okay? Okay. The ruminations of race, gender, sexuality, grief, violence, trauma, etc. GOD. I had to put down the book and breathe deeply sometimes.

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell - Susanna Clarke ❤️  You can kill a person with this book; it's that big. I thought it wouldn't be my thing because it's so "old English" in both the prose and setting as this takes place in 1800s England, but it was a LOT of fun. Plus magic! Characters with major flaws! A rivalry that spans years! 

Vicious - V.E. Schwab ❤️  Fave book of 2019, tied with Know My Name. THE most fun book I read. Superpowers? Fresh take on the superhero genre, if you can even call this a superhero book? Morally gray antiheroes and great, compelling villain? Best friends turned archenemies? Incredibly cinematic writing style? BINCH...YOU KNOW I WAS HOOKED FROM THE FIRST PAGE. 

Captain America: Home of the Brave - Mark Waid & Chris Samnee We needed more to address the disgusting Hydra Cap fiasco that preceded this run. It wasn't enough. The story didn't go anywhere either and was uneven and weak...BUT this made the list because: 1. Waid knows how to write Steve, and I LOVE Samnee's art. His Cap art is always *chef's kiss* 2. I'm weak for road trip stories 3. Bro, when Waid captures the essence of Steve Rogers, he GETS it. i got emotional over some pages, and some of the lines will stay with me forever. That line about hope not being a plan but needing it in order to have one? That ending? Both are quintessential Steve Rogers. Thank you, Mark Waid, for bringing back our boy.

[dotthings]

S14 has no mercy. None. It’s merciless. I’m a mess on multiple TFW relationships at once. NO MERCY. NONE. Thoughts on SPN 14.12.

Two things to get out of the way. 1. as usual, too much Nick. In every ep he’s in. Always. This comes from lanes that normally don’t ever agree with each other. TPTB cannot hear our piteous cries of boredom. We just sit through the Nicking and endure. 2. has nothing to do with an issue with the ep really, nor am I surprised, but hmmm yes nobody listen to anything ERL says from now on, trust me it’s best for everyone.

However despite item 2, I’m not going to downplay the Dean and Cas, and Destiel content of this ep because along with the bro bond and Sam and Cas and TFW stuff the Dean and Cas part of this was out for blood. And the Destiel storyline continues to ramp up, we’re all slowly boiled frogs. It’s really fun. Hahahah I have so many feelings. Help.

Just going to write out some thoughts based on my disjointed notes. 

So Sam looped Cas in already and Sam is convinced neither he nor Cas can talk Dean out of it. Sam didn’t consult Dean about looping Cas in of course. Oh look, there’s Dean saying he can’t handle the “big goodbyes” so he’s actively avoiding Cas and Jack because he just can’t face their sad little faces as he marches off to his fated doom, which was plain obviously in 14.11 already, Dean’s just admitting it with words now. But I love that Sam has already gone to Cas with this crap. He went to Cas with speed. Misery loves company. And he hopes Cas, who Sam knows loves Dean a lot, can fix this. gdi. Sam having already confided in Cas (and of course we don’t get to see Cas’s initial reaction to this horrible plan but we can think about what it may have been and make everything worse) and Sam and Cas united together in looking for some way to get Dean out of this hurts my heart in good ways.

THAT SAM AND DEAN TALK IN THE CAR ABOUT JOHN. Dean convinced he wasn’t that great a brother to Sam and Sam not having with that or with “death-bed apologies.” Well I said Sam was miserable about having to go along with Dean’s plan and it’s showing in every scene. He’s trying to be brave. He doesn’t want to burn the world but also as I said recently, he isn’t exactly going to be ok with letting Dean die like this either. 

“Dad would send me away when I really pissed him off.”

Up yours John, and the horse you rode in on. The thing here is Dean being so open about saying it, point blank like that. No “he did his best” prevarications. He just drops that and the sadness in Dean is eating my heart. This is actually giving me hope about the 300th ep and what it may accomplish here. This is setting up and telegraphing. We’ll see.

I noticed the ep drew a line between Sam and Dean, and male twins. Unusually close siblings. With twins it’s biological. With Sam and Dean, brothers biologically, but not twins, nonetheless were bonded unusually close by circumstance and trauma initially. I just think twins is an interesting parallel to make instead of a regular pair of siblings. And the way a twin feels when they lose the other. 

CAS IS SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM DEAN JFC CAS CALM DOWN. 

As a character, Cas is not *effusive* usually. This just isn’t how he rolls. He can get intense and emotional but here he was just so openly damn excited and happy to hear from Dean and I want to cry forever. 

“Dean we need to have a conversation.”

“Dean we need to have a conversation.”

“Dean, we need to have a conversation.”

I actually scribbled in my notes, in sarcastic all-caps, “NO REALLY?!” with a pissy little arrow from that line of dialogue. 

Well maybe this is a “turning point” because I certainly have waited a long time for Cas to get assertive about this.

And then Dean that little shit ends with “It’s good to hear your voice.” 

At this point I’m internally screaming I barely even remember there being Nick scenes, were there Nick scenes after that Dean and Cas phone call, does it matter?

“Doctor.” “Doctor.”

SPN YOU DID NOT JUST RECREATE A SEGMENT OF THAT EXACT SCENE WITH DR SEXY FROM CHANGING CHANNELS ONLY WITH CAS IN THE DOCTOR OUTFIT YOU DID NOT JUST

Oh yes. Yes it did.

Dean and Cas aren’t done battering my heart and then holding it over an open flame in this episode.

Cas begging Dean: “Just stop.”

CAIN: She knew who I was... and what I was. She loved me unconditionally. She forgave me. She only asked for one thing.

CROWLEY: To stop.

-SPN 9.11

Oh so we’re back to this again, and right when I was just the other day thinking about Cas’s speech to Dean in 10.22, oh let’s quote some of that again, just to make everything even more painful: “if there is even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you walk out of this room.”

But Dean is adamant. He’s not going to listen. So there’s all this goddamn WOUNDED STARING and Cas says “so this is goodbye?”

So there it is, Dean having to be face to face with Cas as Dean marches to the doom he believes he’s fated for and he has to see Cas react to it. They are looking each other right in the eye, people. It is not for the faint of heart. 

And then they get INTERRUPTED because that is the life of a Destiel shipper.

Cas is realllly salty. “If there’s a spark of hope, then I have to try. You taught me that.” But he actually sounds...tender, as well. It’s another plea, not bitter, although yes he is salty and being really pointed.

Meanwhile Sam has gone to the salt mines, and mined the salt himself. “No rest for the self-destructive.”

Oh gosh I feel for Sam in this ep a lot. I just relate to this, as a fan of the characters, having watched their self-destructiveness for this long. Again...no they aren’t going to just let the world burn, but is self-destruction actually the answer either?

I am btw absolutely cheering that the ep lands on another chance to find another way, but without heedless to the impact of their actions or “screw it let the world burn.” They have to find another way. Save Dean, and the world both.

Sam is breaking my heaaaart. I really understand his frustration and he probably feels abandoned, even knowing it’s to save the world. It’s also a little brother desperate because his big brother seems to be giving up and seems too fatalistic. Sam needs Dean to have a little faith, and Sam isn’t at the moment on a hellbent path of “no matter the cost” like he was in S10. He just wants Dean not to give up yet. To let them try. It’s can’t be easy watching a loved one go off to sacrifice themselves, and Sam did it at the end of S11, which took courage, just as Dean did at the end of S5.

There’s a space between “screw all the consequences” and completely letting go.

I thought the bros scenes were really top-notch in this ep, however that wouldn’t have stopped me from feeling critical if Cas had been ommitted from that last scene, especially after all the Dean and Cas emotional stuff earlier in the ep that got interrupted. SPN is about the bro bond and it’s about Dean and Cas and it’s about TFW 2.0 as a family and here the ep reminds us we’re in S14 and this isn’t just about Sam and Dean, as Cas walks up to them and we have another singular-to-plural.

(to Sam) “I do believe in us...” (on seeing Cas) “I believe in all of us.”

And another singular-to-plural but less warm and fuzzy, what has to be done if their once more last ditch effort doesn’t work. (to Sam) “You have to promise me...you’ll put me in that box” (to Cas) “You too.” 

Not only is the story telling us Sam and Dean aren’t alone, Dean is fully aware of it. He had that confrontation with Cas in the hospital--he looked Cas right in the eyes, he knows. It’s not just Sam who cares and it’s not just Sam that will dig in his heels. I would like to see Jack’s response to all this, since he has been accepted part of the family and it’s relevant, but I love the Sam, Dean, & Cas interplay here and the multiple levels of ouch and the multiple relationships. 

[sennaleee]

this ain’t omo but I have a lot of random things to say and no Friends(tm) to say them to, so here’s an info dump/update on my Super Exciting life. Read the tags for a summary I suppose. Also this is really long so sorry. Kudos to anyone who reads all of it, lol.

So y’all know (unless you’re a newer follower, I guess) that the reason I’m MIA basically all the time is because I’m in school. I’m in my last year currently, and while it is absolutely the best year so far, it’s also super isolating. Every 2 weeks I’m doing something different and dealing with different people, and while this is absolutely the greatest thing in the world for me (I tend to get annoyed being around the same people 24/7, which is why the first three years of grad school were probably such a nightmare, haha), it’s also cementing how much of an outcast I am in my class. Like, most people are super nice, and I like getting to know people I haven’t had a chance to talk to much over the time here (my class is essentially high school with how many cliques there are, I stg it’s ridiculous we’re all 23+ years old and have a “don’t sit with us” attitude), but there are also random instances where someone I considered a friend is actually kind of a bitch and acts in a way that makes it very obvious that me speaking in her presence is the worst part of the day.

There are also people I have to work with who are legit working in my school - they are getting PAID to help teach me - and they very clearly do not want students around, which is so frustrating. I got a bad grade for one of my 2 week classes just because I wouldn’t take shit from them and stood up for myself. I was literally graded on my personality and was done so in a way that my feedback contradicted itself so like how could it even be trusted? This probably makes no sense. I’m trying to be somewhat vague and it’s just making everything confusing sorry. >.<

And then there’s the random superior who just does not give a frick about your time and thinks that what they want should be your #1 priority, but you’re also doing things for 3 other superiors simultaneously that are more time sensitive than what the first superior wants and then you lose an ENTIRE LETTER GRADE for that class because you “didn’t ask for help when you were overwhelmed” except for the fact that I DID ask for help from the first superior and was promptly shut down because she “has her own things to do.” God, I’m bitter.

I have all this stuff to complain about, but I have to emphasize that I am seriously having the time of my life. Some classes are better than others, but this year is for working out what we want for our future, and if nothing else, the classes I hate are helping me learn not to go into those specialties. And for every not-so-great mentor/superior, there are least 5 that are absolutely amazing, so there’s that. The bad ones are just the ones that stick in my head.

Despite being great though, everything is so mentally and emotionally draining. LIke, my recent class had a section where we had to handle parr/ots (yeah, if this doesn’t give away my school program, I don’t know what will...and yes I’m literally censoring the word ‘parr/ot’ don’t judge me.) and I was perfectly fine one minute and the second I’m just freaking sobbing over this bird and my partner is trying to draw blood from it and I can’t even see through my own tears so I had to make her stop and the instructor had to come over and try to calm me down and take the bird from me and I still don’t know why I cried? Literally the only thing I can think of is that maybe the bird was stressed and I somehow subconsciously realized that before I consciously did and my body’s way to get my attention was to just go “it is time to sob” and so I did. We did have to put that particular bird back immediately afterward because she was getting too warm, but normally I’m able to, you know, use my words to warn people about things like that instead of having an emotional breakdown out of nowhere.

Anyway. This is getting super long, and I also want to throw in - on a totally unrelated and very random note - that I saw It Cha/pter 2 today and I won’t spoil it but wow if anyone else wants to talk to me about that hit me up. I’ll probably be writing “normal” stuff about that for awhile because it made me angry and sad (and to think that I absolutely spoiled the entire thing for myself prior to even going to see it and that still wasn’t enough to keep me from crying in the theater, jfc I’m a disaster) and I don’t feel much of an urge to write omo for it but still want to write /something/ so I guess if anyone’s interested in reading that from me message me and I can let you know if I ever write it and post it somewhere.

K if you can believe it I actually had even more to say in regards to school and general social issues, but this is already hella long, so maybe I’ll come back to do another “Senn is a disaster” info dump in a few months or something.

Hope you all are doing well. <3

[undeadwicchan]

Rewatching RWBY: Volume 1, Episodes 6-10 [Live Blog]

The second half of Volume 1, and yes if you combine the parts. Volume 1 is actually only 10 episodes long.

[Episode 6]

I know it’s first volume and the budget isn’t as big as it is now, but Ruby’s arms in her uniform are unusually long.

Blake is actually somewhat OOC during the ‘Banzai’ then again, Blake is one of Miles’s hardest characters to write and it’s Volume 1 so…

Omg that Achievement Hunter poster

It’s always the quiet ones hehe.

I don’t understand why Ruby would cut the curtain to this very day unless it was an accident.

Weiss is womanlet compared to Yang omg.

Oh right, JNPR’s room is right across from RWBY’s!

“Remember when STRQ was late to class? Good times”

Okay so who is that guy with the black hair and green shirt?!

Also hello Port!

Yeah just yell at Ruby while Yang and Blake were cheering too lmao.

“Sheesh what’s with her,” tell me about it.

“Ozpin made a mistake” Oh hell no.

“My ‘Ruby is having a conflict with herself or with someone’ senses are tingling” - Ozpin, probably.

I love Ryan voicing Port omg.

“I have made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet” can we talk about how tired and sad Ozma sounds here? Yes, I strongly believe that this is Ozma in control talking to Ruby.

Boy I wonder how that opinion that Port has of Ozpin is going to change now…

You tell her Port.

Yeah, you see Weiss. Ruby is working very hard. Baby girl is doing her best and that’s all that matters. ;v;

HHHhhhhh Weiss is so sweet omg

And now it’s time for probably  the most skipped on and criticized arc in the series. Jaundice.

[Episode 7]

Now isn’t that some alluding regarding the characters they’re based off of.

So it’s been a considerable amount of weeks and a few months before the Vytal Festival kinda sorta starts. Interesting.

Omg Ren’s and Nora’s story telling.

Ruby and Pyrrha are on the same wavelength regarding their concern for Jaune

I WILL 1v4 YOU TEAM CRDL IF YOU CONTINUE TO BULLY VELVET.

Oh my god, I know it’s for comedy relief but, that’s kinda messed up Cardin would send Jaune trapped in a locker flying.

Cardin. You. Me. 1v1 now. You dare hurt the Bun?! Speaking of, I know Velvet’s teammates designs aren’t completed, but they would kick Cardin and his team’s ass.

“It must be hard to be a faunus” Yeah… Looking at how shitty society treated Adam and Ilia, it is not much of a brainer.

OOBLECK!

Aw poor baby is so hesitant to speak out about the discrimination she faced as a faunus :c

C’mon Jaune….

Oh man, Adam would just… have a field day with the way Cardin would show his disgust over the faunus .

YES BLAKE. GO PYRRHA. TEAR THAT MAN APART AND DRAG HIM

I wish I had a teacher like Oobleck back during my days of High School.

“You know, I really will break his legs” please do Pyrrha.

...F...Forever Fall is that you I hear? ;v;

I’m sorry guys, but the lyric version of Forever Fall messed me up so much, that if I hear it I start to tear up a bit…

Pyrrha deserves the world god damn it.

This arc does give some perspective on Jaune’s character and how he can grow. I actually love the Jaunedice arc.

SCREW OFF CARDIN.

[Episode 8]

I can’t even blame Pyrrha for being mad and disappointed with Jaune here.

I love this moment between Ruby and Jaune, they’re very supportive of each other and I really like they let each other lean on the other’s shoulder if needed to be. Lancaster man…

C’mon Jaune…

Okay. So we got a tease of Forever Fall in Maya via Adam and Blake shorts but, I really hope we see the forest again!

Pfftttt Nora.

How did Glynda not notice that box of wasps?

You hurt Pyrrha. I hurt you.

Don’t do it….

Yeah Jaune!

Oh no Jaune!

LMAO

Oh because I’m watching on the blu-ray it contains the bonus scene of Nora stealing Pyrrha’s collected sap.

YEAH JAUNE!

Cardin deserved that one.

“Time to save the boyfriend.”  - Pyrrha and Ruby, probably.

Go Jaune, go!

I’ll give Cardin this. He actually does keep Jaune’s secret a secret.

*cries internally* God damn Forever Fall…

Ah, there’s that smile from Pyrrha.

And so begins Jaune’s training arc.

[Episode 9]

Alright the Vytal Festival is coming!

Weiss being excited is so precious.

And so begins the Blake vs Weiss arc.

That’s racist, Weiss.

S U N. MY SUNNY BOI.

I miss him having gray eyes omg.

Okay so, Sun winked at Blake. An angelic choir suddenly starts playing and it makes it seem like Sun is introduced as Blake’s future love interest.

Blake looks like he took her breath away or just confused or both.

P E N N Y. MY BABY GIRL.

FRIEND.

Asdfghjkl I miss Penny omg. ;v;

“It’s a combat skirt” iconic.

Where did she find the time to draw that picture of Sun lmao

God damn it Weiss. That’s rude af.

I can feel the discomfort from here too…

“There’s no such thing as pure evil,” now if only a certain part of the FNDM can be aware of that….

Weiss’s anger is valid, but she shouldn’t be generalizing all faunus with the same mind set like that….

Damn, Adam managed to steal an entire train worth of dust even after Blake left all on his own?

Speaking of Adam, he indirectly caused Weiss to have a difficult childhood, I hope people remember that.

“Well maybe we were just tired of being pushed around!” How many do you want to bet Adam said the same thing…

I always wondered if there was a connection between the Faunus and the Grimm….

Awww Volume 1’s purple ears.

And so the S.S. Blacksun sails.

Jfc Weiss

In the manga it’s only been a like not even a full day, but here it’s been two days that Sun has been with Blake.

[Episode 10]

Sun’s disgust over the White Fang is interesting tbh like did he ever encounter them in Vacuo or Mistral?

The only time you see Blake with brown hair.

Okay so… the silhouette on the right…. That looks… an awfully a lot like Adam if you get rid of that tail…

Ffs Weiss….

That slow realization lmao.

What great teammates they are lmao

Sun is great here, he tries to help whenever he can.

Yang is still thinking about Weiss’s words, “Is she innocent?” “She’s our teammate we have to at least talk to her…”

Some nice insight….

Touche.

Yikes, Roman is pretty racist towards them too.

Battle time!!

Man Roman’s dialogue is so witty I love it.

GUN CHUCKS. GUN CHUCKS.

Sun has one of the best fighting styles, but I imagine it’s a pain in the ass to animate it though.

“You hurt my friend, now you’ll pay”

Get em’ Penny!!

Rip those members of the White Fang. Seriously how does Adam manage to bullshit his way into making them help Roman still after this.

“Kinda cute” Bless Ruby

Weiss get some off screen development

And Blake… finally is starting to get her wings… *cries*

How is Ozpin is getting that kind of live feed?

Wings plays and the credits roll for this volume…

But wait there’s more!

Volume 1 Mercury and Emerald look wack. I’m glad they look so much better in Volume 2!

And that’s Volume 1, and now onto Volume 2…. Where the bees start really buzzing since… I hardly could spot a thing for Yang and Blake except during their initiation in Volume 1 and Yang wanting to be understanding. In contrast to where Blake and Sun have established a friendship.  But, Volume 2 hoo boy… Buzz buzz.

Buzz.

[ferociousqueak]

probablylostrightnow replied to your post “It's been a pretty exhausting week of things I never anticipated...”

*belated hugs* I hope things are calming down & your brother is doing as OK as can be expected...

All hugs are welcome, belated or otherwise :D He seems to be doing ... okay. As expected, really. I’m giving him some space to do the things he needs to do (move, get his old house in proper order for the renter, get a new routine in play for his kids, etc.), but once things settle down, I very much plan on distracting him. Maybe we’ll write something together :D Thank you for the hugs, friend <3

mia-culpa replied to your photo “NO.”

we got real spring okay not just oh hey OH NO ITS SUMMER i don't think we can omplain this year

Oh, we’ve had an absolutely MARVELOUS spring. Even last night was gorgeous and I got a rainbow and even a few drops of rain and everything :D BUT I REALLY HATE SUMMER SO I DON’T CARE HOW ON TIME IT IS I’M STILL MAD ABOUT IT. *ahem* I’m also an adult and I can handle unpleasant weather with a sense of decorum and maturity. Pip pip, cheerio, stiff upper lip, etc., etc. *cries about it anyway*

bloomingcnidarians replied to your post “It's been a pretty exhausting week of things I never anticipated...”

jfc that is A Lot to deal with. so many hugs!

IT SURE TF IS! But! I’ve been really good this year. I got myself ORGANIZED, and I made HOURLY CHECKINS, and I’M ACTUALLY DOING REALLY WELL. So things are Super Stressful right now, it’s true. But I’ve set things up so that I can manage the anxiety, and it’s made all the difference :D I’m having lots of stress dreams where I get off on the wrong exit on the freeway that’s gonna make me late for the plane I have to catch, but in real life I’m doing just fine :D

forlornmelody replied to your photo “NO.”

....Already? We're lucky to break 60F over here right now

This is pretty on time for Phoenix, maybe even a few days overdue. I’M STILL MAD ABOUT IT AND I WILL NOT LET IT GO.

wolverineproportions replied to your photo “NO.”

I got real cranky about it hitting 80 here today. You have my sympathy.

For one thing, I’m sure you have much more humidity than I do, so I’ll consider your outrage on par with mine. SUMMER CAN GET STUFFED.

thisonelikesaliens replied to your photo “NO.”

it's not even star wars day yet wtf

I KNOW RIGHT. Of course, I have other expectations for Star Wars day (my best friend is due for her first kid that day and I AM EXCITE), but I STILL DEMAND CLEMENT WEATHER BEFORE BABY ZOE JOINS US, ON PRINCIPLE.

[aflairformisadventures]

I got tagged by @so-wrong-its-left like so many days ago lmao, thanks for this!! 😊

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am i named after anyone? - apparently I was named after a saint which is pretty ironic now lmao

when was the last time i cried? - listening to Andy Cizek's cover of Shameless by The Weeknd (it's so pretty jfc ;-;) and also his cover of Given Up by Linkin Park because that 17-second long scream??? Gives me so much life??? Fuck how is that even possible smshsj

do i have/want kids? - ew why the fuck would anyone ever want children

do i use sarcasm a lot? - at this day and age, who doesn't anymore smh

what’s the first thing i notice about people? - uhhh maybe their behaviour towards me I guess???

eye color - sh*t brown, almost black

Scary movie or happy ending? - SCARY MOVIES FOR LIFE Y'ALL STAB STAB STAB

special talents? - I am a maverick at pretending to be good at things when in reality I only have 5% of the skill I present

where was i born? - a quaint lil city just outside of my hometown

my hobbies? - listening to music, playing the guitar/ukulele, writing poetry/prose/fics/lyrics, reading, drawing and painting, skating, making trash edits, lying in bed for ten hours staring at the ceiling and not doing anything else

any pets? - we have a dog back home that is at least several years older than me

play any/ever played sports? - does skateboarding count? also, I took up football for our PE class and I'm in constant agony every Tuesday and Thursday so there's that

how tall? - 5′2" everyone else shhhh

fav subject in school? - probably english because I could always easily bullshit my way out of essays, and also arts because I get to make a mess out of things and have good grades for it ahaha

dream job? - a musician,, preferably not a broke-ass one but I'm fine with whatever either way. Literally anything to do with music,, or arts, or writing, and travelling,,,,,

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I don't really have anyone to tag bc i'm tragic like that so feel free to do this bc i like knowing about y'all 💖