#maybe a birthday hat for his nui

[broh3m3]

Gonna be at SFU Summerfest next week, table J12! Hoping to have some extra goodies in prep for Jamil's birthday

[vtmusicomp]

That Day

I’ve been doing mostly upbeat posts about our time together chronologically up to this point, but since this is glioblastoma day (at least the senate says so!) I wanted to go out of order and share what happened on that fateful day. It really all started in December of 2016. Grant had the flu. It was also around this time he told me he was having slight memory issues; specifically, that he would see people at work who weren’t a regular part of his team and he couldn’t remember their names. I admit to thinking nothing of this – he was turning 45 in January, and I teased him that he was having problems remembering things because of his advanced age. Sometimes I have trouble remembering things I could easily have recalled in my 20s, and I thought it was the same. Here’s a picture of us at BART in San Bruno from that time, on our way to see Primus at the Fox Theatre in Oakland, CA - NYE 2016.

A few days into the new year, he started feeling bad again. He went to urgent care and they told him he was probably just having lingering flu symptoms. He took a couple extra days off work to rest and seemed to get better.  I had scheduled time off on 1/19/17 and 1/20/17 to get an outpatient procedure done for my sinuses, so I was recuperating through the weekend and feeling mildly sorry for myself. Saturday 1/21/17 we went to IKEA because I was restless and we were still trying to add a couple small pieces for our condo we’d just bought in May. We went across the street for mid-day ablutions/a snack; I was talking to him about something inane, and he told me to hold on a minute. Then we just sat there in silence…after maybe couple minutes I asked him what was wrong, and he said he didn’t know. The way he described it was he got confused and needed a moment, but then he was himself again. It was such a short blip in the day that I didn’t think too much of it.

Sunday 1/22/17 we went to the mall in Woodland Hills to get birthday gifts for Naomi. While I was purchasing something, Grant went to get coffee from a kiosk. When I was done, I found him waiting for his drink. He told me he had a hard time ordering his coffee, that it took longer than it should and he had gotten confused. There was a lot of noise and activity in that section of the mall – there were children running around and parents yelling, also a couple dogs, in addition to the noise of the coffee kiosk itself – so I could see why that might have been distracting. Again, I didn’t pick up on anything out of the ordinary. We went home and relaxed for a couple hours, but I wanted to try this gastropub in Sherman Oaks we read about online. This picture is from his 45th birthday, on 1/8/17 at Chris and Anne’s house.

Dinner time rolled around and I decided to drive because I chose the place. Usually, he liked to drive us to dinner but we reversed roles that night – and it’s provident we did. I was turning to get on the freeway, and talking to him, when he again told me to hold on a minute. That minute stretched out into the entire length of the drive. At first, I thought maybe he was tired - he had been battling that flu and also had mentioned to me at some point over the weekend that his stomach hurt. I changed my mind and told him since he wasn’t feeling well, we shouldn’t be going out to some random bar we’d never been to before. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, but we were coming up on the exit to Van Nuys Blvd, so I got off and headed towards the Mendocino Farms next to Guitar Center in Sherman Oaks.

At this point, Grant had said nothing to me for a while, and I started asking him questions. I wanted to know what his stomach felt like – did he feel like he was going to throw up, was it a dull pain, was it localized in some area? I was thinking maybe he needed to get his appendix taken out or something. He would only grunt at me, which got me thinking maybe he was annoyed with me for asking him so many questions, so I shut up. I confess to being a little annoyed myself that he wasn’t communicating with me (I wish I could take that feeling back). Mendocino Farms is part of a larger structure with a parking garage and a couple different restaurants. I parked and asked him again if everything was ok. He got so frustrated he started talking to me, only what he was saying didn’t make any sense. He was using vowels and consonants but it was all gibberish.

Initially, I couldn’t figure out what was going on, because what was coming out of his mouth sounded so close to actual words, I thought my hearing was the problem. I didn’t always take good care of my ears in the early years of playing in a band; maybe I was losing my hearing. I told him I didn’t know what he was trying to say and asked him to repeat it. I asked if he was talking about the restaurant but he couldn’t tell me. He tried to get out of the car anyway, with the intention of going in to order something, but I stopped him.

I want to describe what this felt like but I’m not sure I have the right words. I got a chill that went right through my body. My head felt just a little faint and I couldn’t quite focus. I wondered if he was having a stroke, but his face didn’t look like it was drooping and he was able to operate all his limbs just fine. We sat there for only a few seconds more and I told him I thought maybe we should go to urgent care. I took Woodman to the Kaiser in Panorama City; it was dark out, raining and cold. The whole drive, he kept talking gibberish to me; and I kept telling him I didn’t understand him but that was ok. Every now and then he’d pepper an actual word in there, which made me think he was making sense and it was just me who couldn’t understand. So, I’d apologize and ask him to repeat himself, he’d respond, I would say I didn’t get it, and so on. It was a loop that went around and around.

When we got there, we went to urgent care first – my default. He had progressed to being able to put some words together – we were at half words, half gibberish. Of course, the intake desk at urgent care told us we should go to the emergency room. The ER is across a driveway in a separate building, so we walked over there in the rain under my umbrella. Someone was waiting to take us back – the urgent care folks had called ahead. Then it was this whirl of activity – four nurses and a doctor getting his vital signs, drawing blood, asking him questions he couldn’t answer because he still couldn’t quite talk. They took him for a CT scan about five minutes after we arrived, and then he was back in his ER bay ten minutes later. The whole time, a lady was screaming in the next room, and hilariously, I felt like I was in a horror film. I mean, turns out we both were, we just didn’t know it yet.

At first, they wouldn’t tell us what was wrong. Panorama City Kaiser doesn’t have neurology, so we did a video conference with the neurologist at the Sunset Kaiser – this was Dr. Guzman, and he would eventually become Grant’s neuro-oncologist. He asked Grant to identify pictures on a laminated sheet. Grant was able to get some of them right, but he couldn’t tell the doc what a cactus was, or a feather, or a chair. By this time, Grant was able to talk again, albeit not confidently, but he could at least form sentences and tell me things. I sent a text to Grant’s sister Kim, telling her what was going on and asking her to help me relay this to his parents, Larry and Connie. Shortly after that I was in touch with Connie, messaging her the little I knew about what was happening. She told us they were coming out first thing the next day and requested we keep them updated in the interim, no matter how late.

After the neuro guy was done, the ER nurses told Grant he was being transferred to the Sunset Kaiser. I was so confused by this point, and also so hungry, that I wanted to know if they’d let me pull up to the ER door so Grant wouldn’t have to walk back to the parking lot. No, Val, they’re transporting him by ambulance (duh). I wanted to ride with him, but I also didn’t want to leave the car behind in case we needed something, so I ended up following them on the freeway. The guy drove 55 the whole way – I’m sure the people behind us were thrilled! I could see the paramedics talking to Grant in the back of the ambulance. Later I learned this is when Grant learned there was a mass on the CT scan and that’s why he was being admitted.

When we got to Sunset, I figured it was going to take a bit before they got Grant settled; my phone was dying and my stomach was grumbling so I went to the Rite Aid on the corner of Hollywood and Vermont. I am never going to that Rite Aid again because I don’t want those memories. I bought the cheapest phone charger I could find and bag of Chex Mix, then I went to the hospital. Kim texted she was on her way and asked if we needed anything, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I found Grant in the ICU on the 6th floor just by the elevator. He was talking and laughing with the nurse. At this point he’d gotten most of his words back and was able to tell me what the paramedic told him. Even though I know he was worried about what they’d found on the scan, he was also feeling better because he was able to communicate again. He asked me to call Alicia and let her know what was happening – it was 11pm by then and I had to leave a voicemail. That’s probably the worst voicemail I’ve ever left a person. One last picture, this one of the first evening we went out after his surgery, wearing a hat Carrie knitted for him.

The week that followed was insanity – but I’m going to stop here for now. I hope this isn’t too much information; I know we told some of this story to different people in fits and starts, and I’m happy to be able to share it fully. He didn’t really want people to know much of what happened when it was happening, but he was so brave it’s almost not fair to NOT share it. He did so incredibly well; his will to keep going stayed strong despite all the challenges, and it remains inspirational to me. A better role model could not exist for this horrid disease. Thank you for reading.

[cribcrate22-blog]

Kaua‘i Restaurant and Shopping Guide (with Kid Friendly Ideas!)

Oh, Kaua‘i. It’s like a dream! The Garden Isle definitely lives up to its name — everywhere you look is lush, dense, tropical vegetation that’s so perfect you swear it can’t be real. If you love laid-back adventures and natural beauty, this is definitely your island. We’re digging extra deep into our Kaua‘i travel guides because there’s so much to do, see, eat, and experience. So up first is our Kaua‘i restaurant and shopping guide! And the good news is that almost all of this is kid friendly. (Come back later this week for our list of things to do and pack).

Where to Eat in Kaua‘i, Hawai‘i

I knew we were going to see beautiful beaches and tons of nature, but I didn’t realize that we were in for some amazing food, too! For such a laid back island, there are some incredible restaurants, ranging from hole-in-the-wall to super fancy (and everything in between). A quick note: we had our kids with us at every meal, so I’m considering all of these places kid-friendly. We were never looked at sideways for having kiddos with us, but we do take a lot of time for training when it comes to eating out so they were (mostly) behaved pretty well. See the links below for our top spots.

Ama. North side, Hanalei. Gorgeous outdoor setting with killer good ramen and fun cocktails. We had three toddlers and a baby with us and nobody batted an eye. That being said, this place is definitely upscale so if you have a rowdy kid you might not want to spend the money to have to wrangle them all night. 😉

Tahiti Nui. North side, Hanalei. A local legend and easy standby. Go for the pizza, stay for the luau if you’re into that sort of thing. They also have live music in the bar (where we were welcomed to sit with the kids) — a couple of sweet older locals playing Hawaiian music.

Kalypso. North side, Hanalei. Fun atmosphere for lunch or dinner. They have crayons for the kids and a menu with a little bit of everything. I loved the poke bowl, and the cocktails were pretty tasty too.

Hanalei Bread Company. North side, Hanalei. One of my favorite meals! This spot is awesome for breakfast. Get a few things to share around — we loved the avocado toast, breakfast sandwich, and frittata. Also, the Ginger Julius smoothie was insanely good. Eat out on the patio or at the picnic tables.

Hanalei Gourmet. North side, Hanalei. I didn’t actually eat at this joint but it was super kid-friendly and a fun atmosphere. Ryan said the fish and chips was legit.

Chicken in a Barrel. Various locations. This is a local semi-fast food joint with the most delicious chicken ever. I just had some shredded chicken on a green salad and it was to die for. Also, the fries are perfection.

Kaua‘i Juice Co. Various locations. I’m adding this here because they bottled my favorite kombucha I’ve ever tasted — Lilikoi Lychee. SO. GOOD. You can find kombucha on tap at their shop, along with lots of other grab-and-go snacks that are super healthy and super delicious.

Wishing Well Shave Ice. North side, Hanalei. A local favorite and a quirky, fun spot for shave ice. I recommend Da Bomb (root beer and cherry shave ice over vanilla soft serve OHMYGOSH).

Lappert’s Ice Cream. Various locations. Delicious, rich, creamy ice cream stop for the kiddos. Or let’s be real, the grownups.

Makana Terrace at Princeville Resort. North side, Princeville. This is the terrace restaurant located in the old St. Regis Hotel. The views from the terrace are spectacular, especially at sunset. They have a kids’ menu, but no kids’ entertainment (i.e. crayons), so we brought our own coloring books and stickers. This is another place where if you have kids that aren’t used to eating out, maybe get a babysitter or save the cash and find an easier spot.

Kauai Poke Co. South said, Lawai. Food truck heaven! I had poke four times during our trip and this was my favorite bowl, hands down. I recommend the Plantation Bowl.

Kickshaws. South side, Lawai. This was Ryan’s favorite meal all week! This is another food truck, with down & dirty hot sandwiches, burgers, and more. Ryan won’t stop talking about the cheesesteak.

Sushigirl. North side, Kilauea. An awesome little sushi spot located by some fun shops. The sushi burrito is a fun twist on a poke bowl or a roll.

Where to Shop in Kaua‘i, Hawai‘i

I love to check out local shops when I’m traveling to a new place, and I totally wasn’t expecting to find so much great stuff in Kaua‘i! The local makers are top notch, and the boutiques there seem to source the most beautiful odds & ends. Here were a few favorites.

Ohana There’s a small location in Hanalei and a much larger one in Kukui’ula Shopping Village in Poipu. They have the loveliest gold jewelry, wall hangings with shells from local beaches, kids stuff, and locally woven hats & bags.

SoHa Living Also in the Kukui’ula Shopping Village, this shop was actually closed when we were there but I did some intense window shopping and was SO SAD to not be able to go in. Lots of fun home goods.

Beauty Bar A small shop in Hanalei with fun beauty products you might not find elsewhere, also a few little jewelry pieces and an awesome selection of Quay sunnies.

The Barn 808 Ryan fell in love with this pair of shops! One side is home goods and the other is clothing — they have lots of funky stuff for kids, too. They were having a huge 50% off sale when we were there so be sure to ask about any deals.

Wishing Well This little outdoor shop is part of Wishing Well Shave Ice but we found some of our favorite kids’ t-shirts here, along with a sweet little gold bracelet for Maggie. The t-shirts are locally dyed and printed.

Kokonut Kids A fun kids’ store with lots of toys and a ton of swimwear (Maggie got a couple of rashguards here because we found out on the first day that she burns really fast!). Awesome spot to pick up something for a baby or kid if you have a birthday coming up.

Warehouse 3540 One of my favorite stops of the trip! This is a warehouse with a handful of various artists shops set up inside (food trucks and coffee trucks too!). Ocean Paper is here, which is kind of a Hawaiian version of Rifle Paper Company and sells lovely hand-painted cards and art. You can also get some organic watercolor paints there in a little travel kit! So cool! Another fave shop in the Warehouse was Hawai‘i Says HI — perfect for pretty souvenirs or little housewares.

Aloha Exchange An awesome surf and skate shop with a little something for everyone! The kids loved the hats, t-shirts, and swimsuits. I loved the women’s clothing, blankets, and surf books. The dudes in our group loved the Patagonia selection and outdoor gear. This is one to add to your list for sure. There’s also a fun mural on the garage door outside the Kalaheo location.

Hunter Gatherer Another fave! This pretty shop has a mystical vibe, with tons of crystals and rocks, and lots of pretty housewares. It actually had a good section of really pretty hand-carved blocks for kids and fun kids books too. But beware here: it’s definitely a place where you need to keep an eye on kiddos who like to reach out and touch things. 😉

Hope these suggestions help you plan your trip to Kaua‘i! Come back later this week for our recommendations on the best beaches and activities, plus a big fat packing list for families! xoxo

Source: https://lovelyindeed.com/kauai-restaurant-and-shopping-guide-with-kid-friendly-ideas/