#maybe I do my makeup today OOH I COULD PAINT MY NAILS

[elytrafemme]

today might be a lyric posting on main kinda day

[ootori-sibs]

Kyoya's second shot

Episode ten: Tamaki makes a discovery!

Tw: self harm (mentioned and implied) starving (mentioned)

The next session was more peaceful, he didn't have to talk to any guests, he could just watch Tamaki, whilst stirring his coffee lazily. Tamaki's way of acting evil was incredibly satisfying to watch; he kept pressing gentle kisses to the prop skull, running his tongue against his perfect teeth, the way he purred his words towards the girls- playing up his natural accent to make the ladies swoon, he drew his words out, lounging about in lazy regality. Kyoya had no idea Tamaki could do that, it was incredible… nearly enough to make him drool if he was honest. He wanted nothing but to sit there under Tamaki and let him woo him like that… but that could never happen. Kyoya looked at the girls, the guests, laughing and giggling and watching Tamaki with wide eyes… and he was consumed by jealousy. How dare they, how dare they get to enjoy so much attention from Tamaki, whilst Kyoya has to sit there, just wishing. They're so horrid, so vapid, they're worse than Haruhi, they don't even deserve his hatred.

Oh. The coffee stirrer had shattered in his hand, he growled under his breath and pushed the cup away from him. He turned to his laptop for comfort, opening the finances, he's not doing anything, just toying with the graphs and such. He takes out his phone as well, opening the council group chat.

Shadow king: Seika, I need you to do something. Now.

Woman#2: Ooh, someone's pissy, what happened?

Shadow king: That is irrelevant, just do something.

Hurt her.

Woman#2: You want me to hurt her? How? Are you sure?

Shadow king: I don't care how. Just do it.

He put his phone back in his bag, hands shaking from the anger. He wanted to leave, he felt angry, he felt he was going to scream. He took his glasses off, rubbing his face and running his hands through his hair, deep breaths, he just has to take deep breaths.

"Senpai?" Haruhi's soft voice cut through his calming breaths, sparking the rage in him again, he looked at her, putting his glasses back on. She looked worried, a soft smile on her face, she had no idea how much she was hated, "are you alright?"

He tenses up, did he have the strength to lie? He felt like punching her in the face here and now, but he knew he couldn't do that. He was tapping his nails on the table, trying not to tell her to fuck off, his lack of ease was clear to her, as he gritted his teeth and forced a smile. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? I'm just sorting out the finances right now, did you need anything Haruhi?"

She paused, sensing the danger though being unable to see why, her smile turned to a frown, "I… no, I just wanted to check on you, I'll… go back to my table now." She took a few steps back before turning and heading back to her customers, she should have been focusing on them anyway. Kyoya felt a little worried about how she'd clearly noticed something, wondering if she realised how much he hated her.

He couldn't focus on anything, nothing at all, so instead he took out his notebook, beginning to doodle. It was a human, it had sharper features then a human; a pronounced nose, a tiny neck, very sharp shoulder blades- Haruhi was softer than that, was he drawing Haruhi? He fixed the shoulder, smudging the offending ink with his finger and rounding off the shoulders. He focused on her hair, it was similar to Tamaki's, but uglier, flatter, brown. Her expression was one of disdain, one Kyoya had never seen on her face before, she was disgusted, like he knew she would be when she realised what he'd been doing- if she realised, commoners were never smart. Was the school badge on the wrong side? He always struggled with mirroring, it was hard to remember. Her eyes were bleeding silver from his pencil, he would have grabbed a pen but he had no blue, he didn't want to touch his red, it was the only red pen he had- Haruhi didn't deserve it.

She was disgusting, selfish, she didn't deserve Tamaki, she was just some dumb commoner… commoner, commoner, he said that word a lot, but Yuuichi had said it was regular- just regular people, they were the minority in real life. It was a strange feeling, they all had so much power yet there were so much more commoners in the world, it was strange, it was… odd. His breaths shuddered as he wrote words, the same word, over and over and over and over again around his sketch.

Commoner.

She's a commoner, and he hates her.

The session ended after a while, and the tables were pushed together, guess Tamaki had ordered a meeting. The others had gone to get dressed, so Kyoya hesitantly followed. When he got to his corset, he really didn't want to leave it, besides, the others hardly ever do any inventory so it's not like they'd notice it missing. He toyed with the tightness for a little, before slipping his shirt and blazer over it, something sparking in his mind as he put his tie on. An idea that led him to pull said tie as tight as it could possibly go… then loosen it a little- a tie isn't as safe as a corset apparently.

He took his place at the table, opening his laptop and closing his book, "so, what's this meeting about then Tamaki?"

Tamaki paused, looking unsure for a moment, there was something about how he'd looked at Kyoya that made him suddenly very uneasy, "well, just about everything and anything, just thought I'd switch it up, cause I uh- I wanna do something on Friday!" He smiles, clearly having just made that up, "care to give us a finance report?"

Now that was something Kyoya could do, he nodded, opening the finances graphs and charts and tables. He took out a remote for the projector that sat in the ceiling, waiting until Tamaki got the whiteboard out for him, then he projected his screen onto it. "So," he actually smiled, he loved talking about numbers, "we're actually doing rather well, profits are up and I have to say welldone, all of you are contributing to the profits equally, although of course, Tamaki is still number one." He pulled up a chart depicting each hosts individual profits, complete with images; obviously he'd manipulated the graphs, the twins were actually doing better than Tamaki by 2% but the graphs only purpose was was to make Tamaki feel good, and to hide the fact that Kyoya himself literally avoided hosting at all costs. The hosts seemed to enjoy the graph, though Haruhi had frowned, to which Kyoya nodded, "unfortunately, Haruhi has been slacking recently, is there a reason for this?"

All eyes were on Haruhi, and Kyoya felt incredibly vindicated by this. She paused, blinking in surprise, "well I don't think I was falling behind, I could've sworn I did more hosting then you have senpai��" Her tone was a pondering one, but Kyoya felt the rage spark up again.

"Well there's no need to be so rude about it," Kyoya glanced around, hand on his heart, maybe it was time to take a risk, "you've been awfully spiteful towards me lately and I'm not sure why, is something the matter Haruhi?" He kept his tone soft and almost hurt sounding, hand pressed against his head as the other loosely held the remote for the projector, he did his best to paint Haruhi as the aggressor- he could tell Tamaki was still too hurt from her distance on Sunday to stand up for her, but he looked torn, not sure who to believe. The twins glanced at each other, then between Kyoya and Haruhi, they'd been privy to the discussion that morning and were likely still hesitant. Honey and Mori were the wild card, Mori was unreadable as always but Honey looked sympathetic to Kyoya, and Kyoya felt a little spark of victory.

Haruhi stared across the table at him, trying to read him and failing, Kyoya was not going to let his guard down. So she sighed, "I haven't been rude to you senpai, you've just been jumpy, I even asked if you were alright this afternoon, remember?" Oh god, she was being honest, he wasn't sure how to combat honesty, unless he could twist her words into what he wanted…

"Haruhi, I'll be perfectly honest here, you should probably stop neglecting your duties. As I said this afternoon, I was too busy to converse with you, and you had clients anyway so you should have been at your table instead of bothering me with questions about whether there's anything wrong with me." He paused, taking a breath and letting it sink in, he was taking a huge, huge risk here, and he hoped it would pay off. The twins seemed to at least somewhat agree that Haruhi should have been doing his job, Honey seemed concerned about what was said, Mori was still unreadable, and Tamaki… Tamaki looked almost angry, but at what, Kyoya wasn't sure.

Haruhi was startled, "I… I didn't mean it like-"

Kyoya shut her up with a wave of her hand, "that doesn't matter Haruhi, what matters is that you left your station, and should pay more attention to your duties, are we in agreement?" She nodded and he smiled, changing the slide, "but yes, profits are up, even if the recent theme cost quite a lot, namely in the diamonds for Tamaki's prop skull," he glances down at the king, seeing Tamaki's smile made him feel fuzzy inside, he's so glad these idiots don't think about things for more than three seconds.

But then Tamaki spoke, "oh, about today's theme, I made sure to put all the costumes on the hangers when you were all setting up the table… Do you remember where you put your corset, Kyoya?" Oh god, oh fuck, Kyoya instantly glanced away, hand going to his abdomen, feeling the bones of the corset through his shirt and blazer.

"Well I-..."

Hikaru snickered, holding in a laugh, "did you keep it on? Couldn't you get it off?"

Karou joined in at that, chuckling softly, "like when you took too long this morning? Were you actually just struggling?"

Kyoya felt his face go red, and was glad of the makeup, he frowned and glared over their shoulders, "that's… that's not why I-"

"So you did keep it on?" Honey spoke up, tilting his head, smiling, "but for a different reason?"

Tamaki sighed, "aww Kyoya, I offered you help you if you got stuck, there's no shame in it." The tone he used, it was one you'd use for a jumpy, frightened animal- he was offended but he couldn't say it didn't sooth him slightly. He also felt the idea of Tamaki helping him with the corset was certainly someone that made him feel fuzzy but he was too tired to protest too much. He just sighed.

The meeting was cut short a little, Kyoya wasn't entirely sure what happened, he remembers the twins did a talk about the costumes they have for the themes lined up, and Honey gave feedback on the cakes he had ordered… but Kyoya was a little fuzzy through the whole thing, maybe the corset and the combo was a little too much. He could glance back down at his notebook to clarify that he was taking notes, though it was a larger font.

16:26 - Clothes look good, cake was dry...

It trailed off, and Kyoya's face feels hot, he's dizzy, and feels like he's so close to passing out. He closed his eyes and felt cold fingers against his skin, opening his eyes he saw Tamaki carefully untying the ribbons of his corset for him, his eyes were full of concern, "Kyoya… this is way too tight… how could you breathe?"

"Hm… couldn't…" Kyoya's words were slurring, god, he really was about to pass out.

Tamaki's eyes flickered up to Kyoya's face, noticing how clouded his eyes are and sighing, "oh no…" he reaches up, loosening Kyoya's tie for hum, their faces were so close, and Kyoya wondered if Tamaki could feel the heat from his face, "you tied your tie too tight too… please don't tell me it was on purpose…" he looked at Kyoya with those big doe eyes that Kyoya can't resist, and something in Kyoya just breaks. He's crying now.

Shocked, Tamaki pulls him into an embrace, just letting him cry, "oh… oh Kyoya… why? Why would you do that to yourself? Does this mean you lied about the reason for your starving too? Is this why you've been so antsy?" Kyoya didn't answer, he was sobbing now, the floodgates were open, there was no moving until he was done. Tamaki let him for now, a lot of things probably making sense in Tamaki's mind, he shifted so Kyoya and he were both more comfortable. The curtains parted slightly and Kyoya couldn't see who it was but Tamaki snapped, "hey! Don't look! Let him have privacy, just go home." Kyoya appreciated Tamaki caring so much for his privacy but felt a little bad at intruding on his.

Tamaki cradled him softly, rocking back and forth as Kyoya sobbed in his arms, Kyoya felt awful, absolutely horrible, he had been hurting himself, he had and that was awful, he had upset Tamaki, he upset his darling best friend and crush by letting him find out about the self harm. He was a horrible friend, he should have hidden it better, god he was terrible…

"Kyoya," Tamaki hummed Kyoya's name, pushing back slightly to look Kyoya in the eyes, wiping his teeths gently, "you know you can talk to me about anything right? You're my best friend and I love you, you're very important to me and I don't want to see you so hurt. Take care of yourself, I know it's probably hard, but just try your best, ok?" He smiled softly at him, his hand on Kyoya's cheek, Kyoya's own hand came up and touched Tamaki's, his eyes were wide and he couldn't help but smile. Tamaki's so wonderful, so brilliant, Kyoya loved him with every inch of his being, Kyoya simply adored him. "Promise me I won't ever see you so hurt again?"

Kyoya just nodded, he would hide it better next time, he wouldn't let Tamaki see even the idea of Kyoya being hurt, he hated himself for how he'd upset Tamaki- he wouldn't let it happen again. Tamaki had smiled and stood up, helping Kyoya up before fully undoing the corset, letting it fall to the floor. Kyoya felt a shiver run down his spine and Tamaki gasped, "oh you must be so cold! Here, let me help you with your shirt!" He bent down and buttoned Kyoya's shirt back up, humming a sweet little melody, one that made Kyoya's heart soar like a bird. He stood and put a gentle hand on Kyoya's shoulder, "I'll see you tomorrow mon ami, take care of yourself."

Kyoya was silent on the way home, his bodyguards couldn't get a word out of him, his fingers drummed on the cover of his black book, he wanted to write, but he didn't want to have to get his pen out of his bag. They got home eventually and Kyoya stormed up the driveway and into the mansion, he practically ran upstairs, slamming the door to his room the moment he entered it. He threw his bag at the table, before following it and kneeling down, placing his book down and opening it.

17:56 - Tamaki realised why I had the corset so tight, he helped me take it off, his hands are so soft. He knows about the self harm, I promised I wouldn't let him see it again but it's too late: he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows…

[artificialqueens]

You Know You Love Me, Chapter 8 (Branjie) - Kiki

A/N: Not it being almost a month since I updated this lmao. Honestly, is anyone being productive right now? (Pls say no to make me feel better lol) I hope everyone is doing good and I hope you enjoy this chapter, just 3 more left until it’s finally finished!

Saturday was Brooke’s favourite day of the week.

She got to wake up whenever she wanted, she didn’t find herself rushing to make it to school on time and she could fill her day with all of the things that made her happy.

She woke up in a good mood since there was no alarm clock blaring at her in the early hours of the morning and she felt at ease. She knew that today was going to be a good day for three reasons; she was able to spend the rest of the morning and afternoon completely relaxing and doing absolutely nothing, there was a big Halloween party happening that night so she would be able to dance and drink and have fun with her friends and, the biggest reason; she got to see Vanessa.

Brooke put her furry slippers on and slowly walked down the stairs of her penthouse apartment and found herself immediately walking over to the coffee machine. Her body was on autopilot as she prepared her first coffee of the day and made a quick breakfast of fruit, yoghurt and granola.

As she walked to the living room with her breakfast, she turned on the TV and sat down on the soft leather couch and wondered exactly what she was going to do today. It was already 12pm (she had definitely slept in for longer than she intended to) and she had to be at Vanessa’s at 3pm to have lunch with the girls and start getting ready for the party. Vanessa wanted Brooke to help her curl her hair and Brooke wanted Akeria’s help with her eye makeup so they all figured it would just be easier to get ready and travel to the party together.

She decided to have Gilmore Girls on in the background (this was probably her fifth time re-watching it) while she scrolled through her phone. After spending a couple of minutes on Twitter and Facebook, she got bored of looking at other people’s social media feeds and was about to put her phone away until she saw it: a Gossip Girl blast entitled “Vanessa Mateo Gets Her Revenge”.

She immediately clicked on the link and saw that the post went up last weekend. She couldn’t believe she missed it for so long, usually she clicked on anything that Gossip Girl put up about her friends straight away, especially since the post that she had put up about Brooke and Vanessa.

Brooke was extremely confused while she read the post. There were pictures of Kameron being escorted away by her parents and…security guards? Brooke had to squint her eyes to focus on the three people in the background and her heart sank when she realised that, yes, it was in fact Vanessa, Akeria and Silky in the background with massive grins on their faces while Kameron was being dragged away.

Brooke scrolled down some more and saw that Gossip Girl had revealed exactly where Kameron’s parents were shipping her off to and Brooke Lynn couldn’t help but feel bad for her old friend. She knew how it felt when your own parents made plans to get rid of you and she couldn’t imagine how angry she would’ve felt if she knew that someone her own age had influenced her parents to make that decision.

Granted, Kameron did deserve some revenge after what she put Vanessa through. But being shipped off to reform school and probably never being able to earn back her parents trust? Brooke thought that was a step too far. Brooke wanted to call Vanessa about what happened but she knew that now probably wasn’t the best time, it would just end in a massive argument where they were both screaming down the phone at each other down. She thought about it some more and came to the conclusion that Akeria would leave out all the important details and would make it seem like it wasn’t that big a deal so that Brooke wouldn’t be angry at Vanessa. Silky was the only one who would want to tell Brooke everything purely because she loved to talk shit about anyone when she had the opportunity to do so.

Brooke grabbed her phone and called Silky, who picked up immediately. Straight away, Brooke demanded to be told exactly what had went down last weekend and Silky was more than happy to fill Brooke in.

“Ooh, Miss Brooke Lynn, I wish you could’ve been there to see the look on Kameron’s face. It was hilarious! And Vanessa was throwing shade and we were all laughing, it was a real good time. Shame the girl had to be literally shipped off for it to happen, but she got what she deserved.” Silky said smugly. Brooke could tell that Silky really didn’t care what happened to Kameron and only added in that last part to sound like a good person but Brooke didn’t have enough time or energy to focus on that bit right now.

She spent the next fifteen minutes drilling Silky with questions. She heard all about how they tried to get Vanessa to plan her revenge but Vanessa had been reluctant at first, how she had finally given in and they had spent hours combing through her social media and how Vanessa had text Kameron off of her phone.

Brooke couldn’t help but feel a bit used. She thought that Vanessa coming over with coffee for her and her mom was a really sweet and genuine gesture but now finding out that it had only been a distraction in one of her crazy revenge plans? Brooke was hurt.

“Brooke? You there?” Silky asked and Brooke realised that she must have zoned out towards the end of the story but she knew most of that from the Gossip Girl blast anyways.

“Yeah, Silk…sorry but I gotta go. See you later.” She promptly hung up and threw her phone to the other side of the couch, wondering what to do next.

—

On the drive over to Vanessa’s apartment, Brooke’s anger grew and grew. She had left her house with good intentions: she was going to go over there and have a civil and mature conversation with Vanessa about what she did and how wrong it was. But the closer the cab got to Vanessa’s street, the more upset Brooke felt. She knew that this probably wouldn’t end well and that they had a party to go to later and would have to at least pretend that they were getting along so that Gossip Girl didn’t write yet another story about them, but right now she didn’t care about any of that. Right now, all she wanted to do was scream.

As soon as the doorman let her in, she walked with a speed she didn’t know she had and found Dorota dusting the dining room table.

“Where is she?” Brooke asked angrily which startled Dorota. She pointed at the staircase with her duster and Brooke ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. She swung the door to Vanessa’s bedroom open and found the brunette laying on her bed in her pyjamas, painting her nails.

“Brookie! Hi!” Vanessa said while jumping up excitedly and running over to give Brooke a hug. Before she could reach her, Brooke’s pushed her back to stop her from getting any closer and Vanessa realised she wasn’t okay. She looked extremely pissed off, anyone with eyes could see that. But there was something else that only Vanessa could recognise because of how well they knew each other. Her green eyes were full of emotion and Vanessa frowned when she realised: Brooke was sad. Not just sad, extremely upset. “B…what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Hmm, I dunno. Maybe the fact that you schemed and planned a freaking revenge attack on Kameron and got her shipped away to a reform school and didn’t tell me about it?” Brooke yelled as she talked and Vanessa was a bit taken aback. Sure, she knew Brooke was gonna be pissed off when she found out what Vanessa had done but she didn’t think she would care this much. Vanessa had to take a moment to recover and plan her next move because she really didn’t know how to reply to Brooke.

“Brooke…are you really that mad about it?” Vanessa asked quietly, wishing that Brooke was just pranking her and she didn’t actually care as much as it looked like she did.

“Are you seriously asking me if I’m mad that you got a girl shipped off to reform school, lied to me about it, told our other friends not to tell me about it, came over to my house to distract me while you stole my phone so you could pull a stupid scheme? Of course I’m mad, Vanessa! How could I not be?” Brooke’s voice was only getting louder and louder as she spoke and Vanessa knew she had fucked up big time.

“I’m sorry…look, B, I know you hate it when I do stuff like this but I can’t just let her get away with doing what she did to me. That’s not how I am. If she can try and ruin my life then why can’t I try and ruin hers?” Vanessa knew she sounded like a child who was getting scolded by her mother but she couldn’t stop herself from saying what she felt.

“Because your life wasn’t ruined, Vanessa, everything ended up fine.”

“No it didn’t! I was upset for so long after what happened and you know that!” Vanessa argued back, her anger levels now rising to match Brooke’s.

“You ended up with family and friends who supported you and no one dared to say a bad thing to you about it. She’s now being shipped off and probably hated by her parents because of this. You always act before you think, it’s like you think there aren’t any consequences to your actions!” Vanessa had to take a step back and try control her emotions after hearing what Brooke said. She didn’t know what she was feeling more; sadness or anger. Was Brooke Lynn really defending Kameron? After everything they had been through? “I just can’t believe you used me like that, Vanessa. I’m used to you tricking other people like that but not me.”

“I’m sorry, B…” Vanessa was willing to forget about Brooke Lynn defending Kameron considering how sad she looked at that moment. She couldn’t focus on being angry when Brooke looked like she was about to cry.

“That’s the thing, though. You’re not sorry. If you were sorry, you’d apologise to Kameron too. Her life is probably ruined now after this. Not to mention the fact that her family life is probably broken now too. You’re really not getting how bad this is, are you?” It was as if Brooke’s entire personality had changed. Two seconds ago she was holding back tears and now she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She knew deep down that she was more upset at how Vanessa had used her as a pawn in her scheme but she was playing it off as anger.

Vanessa’s personality had changed very quickly too. Just a moment ago, she had been willing to get on her knees and beg for Brooke’s forgiveness. She would’ve done anything to make her feel better. But defending Kameron twice? She couldn’t accept that. She was instantly filled with jealousy and although she absolutely hated it and even the thought of acknowledging that jealousy made her feel like shit, she knew she couldn’t ignore it.

“Why are you defending her so much?” Vanessa asked quietly. Brooke looked up and could see by Vanessa’s facial expression that she was pissed.

“What do you mean?” Brooke asked, not wanting to speak before she understood what Vanessa meant.

“I can understand you being mad that I lied to you. That I took your phone and used it behind your back as part of a scheme. I completely get that. But why are you defending her? Why do you keep emphasising how bad it is for her?” Brooke could see where Vanessa was coming from but she knew she was being irrational. This was supposed to be about Brooke being mad. Vanessa didn’t get to be mad too. That wasn’t fair. “Did you go yell at her after what she did to me? I’m pretty sure you didn’t. So why the hell are you so angry about what I did to her? Was she your little side chick or something? Are you mad I got your side bitch locked away?” Vanessa was fuming at this point and Brooke knew that this was going to end in a disastrous way.

“You cannot be serious right now Vanessa.” Brooke said sternly. “You seriously cannot be accusing me of sleeping with Kameron after I told you about what happened between me and her in the past.”

“Then why are you so pressed about it?” Vanessa asked with her eyebrows raised and a hand on her hip.

“Because it’s wrong, V! It’s such a shitty thing to do. I can understand Kameron doing shitty things but not you. You’re supposed to be my Vanessa. The one with a heart of gold. This isn’t you.”

“But you’re defending her! You’re on her side!” Vanessa yelled, angry tears forming in her eyes as she tried her best not to let them spill.

“No I’m not, V, there aren’t any sides here! I just want you to take some fucking responsibility for what you’ve done!”

“I’m fucking sorry, Brooke! I’m so sorry that I hurt you! But you’re literally picking her over me and I can’t accept that.” Vanessa’s tears slowly rolled down her cheeks and Brooke wanted nothing more than to wipe them away and kiss her better but she held herself back.

“I’m not picking anyone, Vanessa, seriously.” Brooke rolled her eyes at how Vanessa was acting whilst Vanessa’s heart was breaking.

“You seriously wouldn’t pick my side over hers?” Vanessa whispered softly, looking Brooke directly in her eyes.

“I swear to God, Vanessa, for the last time: I’M NOT PICKING ANY SIDES!” Brooke couldn’t contain herself anymore. She felt like a volcano that had been due to erupt for a long time now.

“You’re supposed to pick me. You’re supposed to support me if someone does something bad to me, not defend the other person.” Vanessa was full on sobbing at this point, she couldn’t contain it.

“I can’t support you doing things like that. I just can’t.”

“That’s fine, but why do you have to defend her like that…it’s like you don’t even care how I felt, you just wanna make me feel bad for getting revenge on someone.”

“I do wanna make you feel bad, Vanessa, what you did was awful.” Brooke knew that she was being harsh. She knew that Vanessa was in her feelings right now and that she wouldn’t be okay with the things that Brooke was saying but she had to get them out. She couldn’t control it.

“Can you leave please? I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” Vanessa mumbled as she wiped her eyes. She was so thankful that she skipped her makeup routine that morning otherwise she would’ve had mascara smeared all down her face.

“No, Vanessa, you need to grow up and deal with the consequences of what you’ve done.”

“Brooke, I’m so sorry about what I did to you. I feel so guilty about lying to you like that. But I won’t apologise for what I did to her. I just can’t.”

“I don’t think I can see you the same way as I used to then, V…” Brooke replied and Vanessa was coming to terms that whatever she had with Brooke was probably over by now.

“I knew this was too good to be true…” Vanessa whispered.

“What are you talking about?” Brooke asked out of frustration.

“You and me…we could never be together. It was too good to be true.” Brooke was shocked at Vanessa’s statement. She kind of just assumed they would work through this like they worked through everything else, but it didn’t seem like Vanessa had come to that same conclusion.

“V, stop…don’t say that.”

“No, it’s true. Because I can’t be with someone who defends someone who has wronged me and not only that, tries to act like they’re on some fucking moral high ground when I do something wrong. Newsflash, Brooke, everybody makes mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Are you really gonna act like you haven’t done and said some stupid shit in your life? Because I could probably list twenty things you’ve done if you want me to. But I’m not about to take this kinda scrutiny from you. It’s not okay. I’m not having you fucking roast me this hard every time I fuck up.”

“Well I’m not gonna let you get away with being a manipulative bitch and act like what you do doesn’t affect people.” Vanessa’s face immediately hardened and that was when Brooke knew that they had both taken it too far. To the point of no return. Vanessa took a deep breath in, told her to get the fuck out of her house, and stormed off into her bathroom and locked the door.

Brooke stood there stunned for a minute not knowing what she should do. But as soon as she thought about the things Vanessa had said again, anger was the only thing she could focus on and she stormed out of her bedroom and down the stairs. It was only when she got to the living room that she realised leaving would probably be the worst mistake of her entire life. She quietly walked back up the stairs and opened the door to Vanessa’s room as quietly as she could and what she heard broke her heart. Vanessa was openly sobbing as if someone had died. Brooke felt the anger leave her body all at once, as if it was never there. She walked over to the bathroom and sat on the floor, leaning against the locked door with Vanessa on the other side of it.

“V?” Brooke called out, hoping that Vanessa responded.

“Go away.” Vanessa sounded like she had a cold, her nose was all sniffly and her voice was hoarse from crying.

“Nessa, please…open the door.” Brooke begged, wanting nothing more than to hold the smaller girl in her arms. Vanessa didn’t reply so Brooke came to terms with the fact that she was going to be doing most of the talking for the moment.

“Listen, V…I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to put it into words how sorry I am, I completely overreacted and I shouldn’t have done. I’m so so so sorry Vanessa.” Brooke had a hard time keeping her tears in but she knew that there had to be at least one of them not crying for this conversation to go successfully. All of a sudden, the bathroom door opened and Brooke was met with a puffy eyed Vanessa. She stood up and followed Vanessa over to her bed where they sat down. Vanessa immediately wrapped herself in her pink blanket, gently wiping her eyes with the corner of it.

“You didn’t overreact, B. What I did was dumb and I know that.” Vanessa admitted and Brooke knew that they were on a good path to recovery here, especially if Vanessa was admitting that she was wrong so quickly into the conversation.

“That doesn’t mean I should treat you like I did. I think I was just hurt that you lied to me and instead of dealing with that, I focused on the anger part because it’s easier to deal with.” Brooke smiled weakly and put her hand on Vanessa’s knee, stroking it gently. “I’m so sorry I let it go that far. I think I need to work on controlling my anger a bit.” Vanessa laughed softly at what Brooke had said.

“I’m sorry too, Brooke. I know what I did was wrong. I promise to stop meddling in people’s lives from now on…especially yours. I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you what I was doing and that I lied to you. It won’t ever happen again I promise.” Vanessa put her hand on top of Brooke’s hand on her knee and squeezed it gently. “Am I forgiven?” Brooke nodded and climbed up to be beside her on the bed.

“Am I?” Brooke asked as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa from behind and Vanessa nodded slowly, turning her head around slightly so she could see Brooke’s face. Brooke gently grabbed Vanessa’s chin and moved her face up before connecting their lips together and both girls shared a sigh of relief that they were on good terms again. Even though the fight was short, Vanessa was sure it was the worst she had felt in a long time, even worse than when Kameron had outed her.

The two of them knew that they still had a lot of issues to overcome but right now, all they wanted to do was focus on kissing each other…and they did. For about an hour. The only reason they stopped was because Silky and Akeria arrived to get ready for Halloween, otherwise they probably would’ve been there all night.

The girls spent their time doing their makeup and hair and finalising their costumes, listening to music and talking and overall, having a great time. Brooke had missed nights like this when she was in boarding school and spending time with all of her friends made her so grateful to be back. She couldn’t wait for the night ahead.

—

The girls arrived to the club that was hosting their school’s annual Halloween party in the black limo that Brooke had ordered and they were bursting with excitement. They had drunk numerous glasses of champagne on the short drive there and they were ready to have an amazing night.

Brooke had decided to dress up as Marilyn Monroe, her hair curled short to recreate Marilyn’s iconic waves. Vanessa had been speechless when she saw Brooke in the short dress but she had to force herself to refrain from doing anything for the sake of Akeria and Silky. Akeria had dressed up as a cheerleader simply because she was mad that their school didn’t have a cheer team and she thought it was a shame that everybody hadn’t seen her in a cheer outfit. Silky was dressed up as a Roman Goddess (Vanessa had been extremely confused as to how she was going to pull that off but she decided not to question it) and the costume consisted of a white bedsheet that she had wrapped around her body and strategically pinned in place. She was hoping that by the end of the night, the sheet would be gone and she’d be in someone’s bed and had told everyone proudly that the costume was worn for “easy access” only. Vanessa had decided to dress up as a salsa dancer and got her mom to design a super short red sparkly dress for her. It fit her like a glove and she had her hair down curled to perfection (with Brooke’s help) and she felt amazing. Brooke couldn’t stop staring at her ass and her legs because they looked so phenomenal in that outfit.

Brooke and Vanessa walked into the party hand in hand and absolutely everybody had their eyes on them. It was like royalty had just walked in. People parted to make way for them all whilst staring at them intensely.

Brooke gently squeezed Vanessa’s hand in reassurance as the group of four found the booth reserved for them and quickly ordered a round of drinks for their table. Brooke worried that Vanessa would start to feel anxious or upset with everybody’s eyes on the two of them but if she was, she wasn’t showing it. Akeria locked eyes with Vanessa and Vanessa nodded reassuringly, letting the group know that she was okay. They downed a shot of tequila each and quickly hit the dancefloor.

Usually, Vanessa would be all over her friends while dancing at a party like this. She remembered the party that happened the night before Brooke left for boarding school and how they had danced and grinded up on each other pretty much all night, but things were different now. Now, people knew her secret and they were definitely watching her to see what they would do.

Brooke could tell Vanessa was overthinking things as they were dancing. She was trying to appear normal but she was definitely focusing her energy on dancing with Akeria instead of with Brooke.

Vanessa wanted nothing more than to dance with Brooke and be all over her but there was something holding her back from doing it. She felt like a ten-year-old girl who was too afraid to tell her crush that she liked them. It was pathetic. She absolutely hated how she wasn’t feeling like her confident self. On any other day, she would walk through the halls of her high school with the exact same people that were in this club with her right now and not give a crap what they thought about her. She was trying her hardest to bring that confidence back to herself but it just wasn’t working.

She looked over to Brooke who was dancing and joking around with Silky. When Brooke saw Vanessa staring, she gave her a small smile and a discrete wink which made Vanessa smile in return. Brooke was the one who made her feel like she could conquer the world without even saying anything.

She was instantly brought back to what Brooke had said to her that night she had planned to run away: “You’re a Mateo, remember? People don’t tell you who you are, you tell them.”

“Fuck it.” Vanessa thought as she walked over to Brooke, grabbed her face and kissed her slowly. She could almost feel people’s eyes piercing into her (and also could hear Silky screaming loudly with pride) but she decided that she didn’t care. At the end of the day, she was the most popular girl in school for a reason and kissing Brooke wasn’t going to change that. When Vanessa pulled away, she could see Brooke was stunned.

“Wow…um, I wasn’t expecting that.” Brooke said, clearly flustered from the unexpected kiss. Vanessa giggled in response and went back to the other two girls and continued dancing with them. She felt so much better now that she didn’t have to restrain herself. She could confidently dance with Brooke and make everyone jealous that she was able to make out with the hottest girl at the party.

After a while, the DJ announced that he was going to play a song for all the couples and as soon as the slow song started playing, Brooke held out her hand to Vanessa.

“Ness, may I have this dance?” Brooke asked sarcastically and Vanessa accepted immediately (of course). Vanessa, being an absolute hopeless romantic, was dying on the inside. She felt like she was starring in her own romance movie and she loved how it was going. They spent the next few minutes wrapped in each other’s arms, swaying gently to the music.

Both of them were so happy that, even though the day had been eventful to say the least, it had still ended so perfectly.

[howrry]

ice

a/n: finally! i’m settled into skool lyfe and bella is back in business bitch (we love alliteration) here is that full fic of ice i’ve been hinting at :~)

w/c: 4.2k

warnings: this fic has an age gap of about 4 years and one of the characters is an older teenager! this is totally legal where i’m from but if it’s not where you are or it makes you uncomfortable then maybe don’t read this? also smut

***

Waiting for that one Facetime was like watching a huge pot of water boil. It was cliché, but you were running out of mundane things to do since you’d gotten home from uni. Seriously—laundry, reorganizing your soulless childhood room, even fully unpacking despite having weeks to get comfortable. Of course, as soon as you came back, you had your reunion with your parents and other family, but you hadn’t quite reached the seeing-friends phase of coming home.

At least, not until that lovely ringtone hummed through your room and you pounced on the bed, swiping on Gemma’s beautiful face. “Babe!” you cried.

“Hush,” she joked, crunching on a red apple on her side of the screen. You could hear her turn down the volume by clicking the buttons on her phone.

“Are you ready for me, then?” you asked, bouncing up and down on your tippy toes.

“No, don’t want to see you,” she crunched again, “just wanted to call to see how your mum’s doing. Of course I’m ready, twit!”

“Watch your language!” you chastised. “But I’ll be over in a New York minute.”

Getting ready was a rush—at this point you were just ready to get down the street. You shoved your feet into your Birks and grabbed your phone and keys, and once you’d padded down the stairs, your parents merely got a “be at Gem’s, later!” before you slammed the door.

When you got there, it was Harry who greeted you. You’d knocked and waited, since their house was always locked anyways. He threw the door open so fast that his cross necklace was still swinging when he rested his head on his forearm propped up on the doorframe. “Sorry, we don’t want any Girl Scout cookies,” he joked, smirking around his own jab.

“Ha ha ha,” you sarcastically bit. “Move it, Fisher-Price, I’m here for your sister.”

“I had a great semester, thank yeh for askin’,” he smiled, moving back and letting you in. “What about y’self?”

“It was productive, actually. Good to see you again, H,” you responded congenially. Ahh, the smell of your friend’s home was so nostalgic and inviting. It was fall all year round with the pumpkin in the living room, vanilla in the foyer, pine needles upstairs…

“Likewise,” he winked just before you went upstairs to your friend’s room.

Harry had always been a little charmer. Anne raised him to be very polite and he was naturally entertaining despite his introverted tendencies, but he’d always been Gemma’s annoying little brother to you. He always tried to butt into your hangouts with her, as far back as when he was four and you were eight and he wanted to play outside with you two, up to when he was 15 and you were 19 and he tried to buy beer from Gemma.

But soon, things changed. Harry got taller and his voice dropped and his skin got clear, and suddenly he wasn’t just the annoying little brother anymore. He was almost an adult, and he certainly developed a way with girls. The first time you went to see Gem and Harry had a girl over, something you couldn’t describe churned in your stomach. There’s no way Harry didn’t notice the way you cut your eyes when you initially saw her.

Ever since then, he just took a different light in your eyes. Going to Gemma’s house suddenly had double the benefits since you were seeing your best friend and her stupid hot little brother. If she left you alone for any period of time, you’d do anything to get Harry’s attention. He would chat with this amused smirk, one hand in his pocket and the other fiddling with his cross necklace, as if he knew you were subtly pining.

It was honestly kind of pathetic. He was still in high school, and you were in the home stretch of university. You had a potential hook-up pool that was at least five times the size of his and a much better selection, yet you were yearning for a guy who can’t even buy his own cigarettes.

But you didn’t care, and obviously Harry didn’t either. He humored your goofy flirting and gave it right back to you. For the most part, it was just harmless compliments and light schoolyard jabs and never escalated past that, until, well, it did.

You were going to go to brunch with Gemma that day. She’d gotten a part-time job as a photographer’s intern downtown that year, and invited you to try a new café with her. It was the perfect excuse to wear that flowy Free People dress you got, so you agreed.

While getting ready, Gemma called you in a panic. “Y/N! I forgot my wallet on my vanity at home,” she breathed. “Do you mind getting it before coming over?”

“Not a problem,” you hummed, checking your lipstick.

“Thanks, love. My mum left the front door unlocked when she got in this morning so just make yourself at home looking for it. See you soon!” Gemma blew a kiss into the phone before hanging up.

Her front door was open, just like she warned, and you hopped up the stairs to her room. Unfortunately, Gemma was more of the messy type, so finding her wallet was no easy task. Her vanity was covered in makeup and hair care bottles and papers from the previous semester. Where the hell could the wallet possibly be?

“Looking for somethin’?” Harry asked, leaning on the door frame with a Coke can in hand.

You looked up, pushing the hair that had fallen in your face to the side. “Need your sister’s wallet. It’s brunch time.”

“Ooh, bring me back a ricotta toast,” he ordered, reaching into Gemma’s Louis purse hanging by her door and pulling out her black wallet.

“You’d be lucky if I brought back a napkin,” you sneered, taking the wallet from him and going to shove past him.

He blocked your exit and held a hand up to your shoulder. “Wait, doll. Your earring is twisted backwards.” The hand that stopped you trailed up to softly ghost across your face and fix your earring, which must have gotten tangled in your wild goose chase.

Fuck, he was close. You could hear the soft breaths fanning out from his nostrils, his almost disinterested gaze slowly morphing into his classic smirk, and hand not leaving your skin in a timely fashion. His piercing green eyes rendered you stupidly frozen.

And the tension snapped. Within minutes he had you out of your dress and was fucking you into Gemma’s floral duvet. Everything was happening so fast; you didn’t even stop to think about how wrong it was. The feel of his teeth dragging across your neck and the stretch of his cock inside you were really the only things on your mind at that point.

It was rough and quick and dirty (and quite possibly the hottest thing you’ve ever done) but by the time you two were adjusting yourselves and catching your breath, you were twenty minutes late to lunch. You blamed it on traffic and Gemma didn’t care to push it.

So that’s how it started. It wasn’t anything exclusive, it wasn’t intimate, and it certainly wasn’t something you talked about outside of the bedroom. “The bedroom” being figurative, of course, since Harry and you liked to get it on whenever you had the chance. It wasn’t weird if you ended up bent over a washing machine or on your knees in front of him pressed up against the wall in a hallway.

When you thought about it, like reallypondered in a hot shower, you knew it was fucked up to be doing what you’re doing. It’s not like it was illegal—you just felt like you were betraying Gemma. You were closer to her than anyone else in the world and you were sneaking around with her brother.

He didn’t make it fair, though. He was so poised and smooth and fucked like he wasn’t still in AP Physics. The way he bantered with not only you but his sister and mother was definitely more witty than most boys his age. It only made sense to let him rearrange your guts.

So you had a bit of an internal dilemma. Frankly, if your little affair is well kept from Gemma, it shouldn’t be a problem at all. So you thought.

***

“So, do you have lice or something?” Gemma asked, raising an eyebrow from behind her magazine. The two of you had finally settled into winter break time and were taking turns spending at each other’s houses. Today, it was girls’ night at the Styles’ home.

You froze, one hand ruthlessly digging in your hair. “What? No. There’s just a wicked knot in my hair and I can’t get it out.” It was in the most unfortunate location on the back of your scalp, and your fingers could make no sense of the mat of hair.

“Do you need some help?” she offered, setting down her literature.

You reared back even though she was sitting at her desk across the room. “Gross, you just painted your nails! No thanks. Besides, I think I’m getting it.”

She shrugged and blew on her soft blue nails. “Whatever. I’m getting a yogurt.”

“I want one too,” you hummed, sliding off her comfortable duvet and gently pulling out a few strands of broken hair. A tiny plopaccompanied your feet on the rug and you spun in confusion. The noise was too soft to be a phone, but you still checked that yours was in your pocket. Barely visible in the fibers of the shag rug rested a solid black metallic ring. It was Harry’s.

You stared at it in horror. The ring had been in your goddamn hair. Earlier that day you’d given Harry a blowjob that left him slack-jawed and pink-cheeked and his hands had been so tangled up in your hair that your hair stole his ring. Which just fell out onto the floor in Gemma’s room.

“Is that Harry’s ring?” she hissed, gaze locking on the ring standing out from the white rug.

Oh no. Oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck—

“He’s such a twat. Why does he leave his jewelry everywhere? You could’ve stepped on that!” she continued, reaching down to pick it up. “I’m gonna throw it in the trash.”

When she moved to her trash bin, your eyes widened and you squealed a “don’t!” That ring was really nice and you knew Harry would be devastated if she threw it out.

Gemma turned slowly. “Why?”

Your mind raced to think of a good excuse. “Because, if you throw out a ring he wears all the time, he’ll throw out something of yours that youcherish.” You gestured towards her vanity where the Tiffany box sat. She’d just bought herself a necklace for doing so well on her exams and you knew that Harry would retaliate with it.

Your best friend eyed the necklace and then the ring in her fingers. “You’re right,” she finally agreed. You let out a huge breath—there was always the risk of being too weird about Harry and blowing your own cover, but once Gemma ducked into her brother’s room and pinged Harry’s back with the ring, you knew the cover was totally intact.

***

God, you didn’t want to party. The break ended next week and soon it’d be books and schedules and debt again. Who could be shotgunning 4Lokos at a time like this?! Plus, none of the bars were open this day of the week so the only option was a freakin’ house party. What uni students over the age of 21 go to house parties?

But Gemma wanted to, and what she wants, she gets. Though you loved her tenacious attitude at times, all you cared about right now was taking off your revealing top and climbing into bed.

You nursed on straight Coke in the kitchen and absentmindedly watched Gemma go hard. You trusted her and vice versa; she knew her limits but still could have a really, really good time. The men of the party were in awe as she threw back tequila and slapped the bag right after, and even the inside of yourmouth was feeling withered just watching her.

“Hey, there,” you heard from off to the side. You casually lulled your head over to see a shockingly attractive guy. He had thick, dark hair with a sprinkling of light brown freckles on the bridge of his nose.

“Hi. You lost?” you joked, moving to make room on the upholstered bench next to you, where the mystery man joined you.

“Not anymore.” Mm. The faint scent of alcoholic breath wafted to your face but this stranger was keeping his composure quite well. “I’m Russell.”

“Y/N, pleasure,” you hummed, shaking his hand.

He started chatting you up, but to be fair, it was in one ear and out the other. He was clearly throwing words to the wind, and not even his good looks or nice cologne could draw your attention. It wasn’t like Harry, who could entice you with conversations about chopped liver if he so wanted to.

Ahh, Harry. You wondered what he was up to right now. He was probably at a party himself, drinking watery beer and flirting with any bird with eyelash extensions that gave him attention. God, why were you getting so jealous of him? You certainly didn’t owe him any loyalty and neither did he. In fact, if you so desired, you could go out and get laid right now and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it!

Your attention drifted back to the cute boy next to you. Somehow, as Russell droned on about his recent physics prof, you started to see Harry in his features. Certainly not in anything coming out of his mouth, but the curls that flopped down into his face were just like H’s after he’s played footy all day. Russell’s hands had prominent veins on them, just like Harry’s hands when they were grabbing at your skin and smacking your ass. Even the way he toyed with his bottom lip while thinking aloud.

Though H was really the last person you wanted on your mind right now, all these physical thoughts were making Russell more and more attractive by the minute. He wasn’t Harry, but maybe he could be Great Value Harry. You reciprocated his flirty chatter and got touchy with him, and things quickly devolved into kissing in the corner of the kitchen you two occupied.

Things were happening surprisingly fast for how sober you were. You went upstairs with him, you made out with him on a random bed, you undressed each other, and before you knew it he was rolling on a condom and pushing himself into you.

It wasn’t necessarily that it was bad sex. Russell had soft lips that kissed your neck as he thrusted and he certainly wasn’t small, but it didn’t really blow you out of the water. Your toes didn’t curl and your eyes didn’t roll back into your skull. He even lasted a decent amount of time, but once you made your mind up about not getting an O, you kinda just wanted it to end.

Once it did, he got busy falling asleep and you tried to not take it personally (c’mon, it’s pretty taxing for a guy to cum). You tugged your clothes back on and went out to look for Gemma, and of course she was upstairs as well, throwing up into a bathroom trashcan.

“Hey, Gem, how you feel?” you asked, rubbing at her back and tucking your hair behind your ears.

“Better now that this is out of me. Wanna go home?” she mumbled, sighing and wistfully staring at the toilet that she was seconds from making it into.

“Yep. C’mon, I’ll call an Uber,” you said to no one, hoisting a lackadaisical Gemma onto your shoulder and out of the house.

Once home, getting Gemma situated was the most difficult part. Her mother worked late and Harry was probably out, but even without the chance of running into one of her family members, she was still heavy. Her choice to not use her legs at all certainly didn’t do you any favors, either.

When the front door opened and the familiar smell of her abode hit Gemma’s nose, she perked up. It became minimally easier to hoist her up the stairs and into her bed. You did your best to scrub at the makeup that had lasted through her dancing and puking without waking her, but she was so tired and lulled to sleep by her drinks that an earthquake wouldn’t make her stir for at least eight hours. You nodded at the unopened cheap water on her nightstand, reminding yourself to get her a reusable bottle.

Your work was done. Gemma was snoring smoothly within minutes with a clean face and a drink waiting for her in the morning. You got laid, even though you were completely sober, it wasn’t exactly a great dick review, and you’re a 21-year-old who got fucked at a house party. Maybe it was just time to go home and accept the night for… whatever it was. You padded downstairs softly despite the minor coma your best friend was in. Common courtesy, you supposed.

Thump.

Face first into a chest. It was totally dark in the house and you definitely didn’t expect there to be a solid torso in Gemma’s living room for you to bump into. A sharp gasp filled your lungs and the figure reached behind and clicked the lamp on. Harry, of course.

“Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me,” you breathed, slapping a hand to your chest.

“It’s my house,” he grumbled. As your eyes adjusted to the light, you saw his puffy eyes and messy hair and wrinkled clothes. He’d been sleeping.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you? I thought you’d be out.” Just seeing him in such a soft state made your lower belly swirl.

He shook his head a bit. “What are y’doing here?”

“Went to a party with Gem. She got too wild so I put her to bed,” you bluntly explained.

Harry pursed his lips, crossing his arms and eyeing you focusedly. “Did you have a good time?”

“No,” you answered quickly, because you didn’t. “I didn’t drink and I had to take care of Gemma and I fucked someone.” That last part fell out of your mouth before you had a chance to think twice.

There were a few beats of a heavy silence and you wondered if you made a mistake. “Did they fuck you good, baby?” he finally asked, no emotion inflecting his words.

You couldn’t have been less prepared for that response. “No,” you whimpered, face getting hot at his critical stare.

“Oh, doll, they couldn’t fuck yeh like I can, huh?” His voice was pure sex—every response he had to you threw you off more than the last. Everything he said just floated off his tongue and danced into the room and onto whosever’s ears they were around.

“No, they couldn’t,” you choked out. You felt like your throat was closing. “No one fucks me like you do and I can’t understand it. I shouldn’t be seeing you because it’s so wrong but...” God, shut up shut up shut up. Your word vomit amused Harry beyond belief. The smug look on his face was making you feel even smaller than his height already did.

“Oh, I know what you’re sayin’, doll,” he laughed. “You wanna do the right thing by m’sister but yeh just can’t. Deep down y’know you’ll always come back to me, hmm?” Harry took a step towards you, and you completely froze. You thought that he was about to bend down and kiss you but he surprised you yet again by snapping a hand up and gripping it around your neck. “I own you, y’hear me?”

You nodded, or at least the best you could with his vice grip on you. Every breath you tried to take stopped short in the back of your throat, and it almost felt like your feet were about to lift off the ground. Your own hands flew up to claw at Harry’s hand before his grip finally softened. A thick gasp sucked in and your legs threatened to not support your body, but he grabbed at you and steadied you. His fingers grazed your quivering lips. “Who’s mouth is this?” he asked, intently staring.

“Yours,” it came out as a whisper. Normally he’d be much meaner and wouldn’t accept such a quiet response, but he was feeling generous, apparently. He leaned down and kissed you, sucking in on your bottom lip and biting the red flesh.

The two of you made your way down to the couch, such that you were straddling Harry and he was cupping at your ass. Your hair kept falling in your faces, but he didn’t care and continued to kiss you and grab at your throat.

He took a break and leaned back on the couch, taking his time to lazily cup at the soft skin behind your thighs. “Mmm, and who’s ass is this?” When you breathed out another “yours” he smacked it audibly. “Goddamn right, pet.”

He didn’t take your shirt off, nor any of his clothes. He lifted you just enough for you to tug your shorts and panties down, and for him to pull his leaking cock out of his dark sweats. You tried to tease for a moment, grinding your bare center against him, but he put a stop to that. “Do I even have t’ask if this is mine?” he growled, assertively cupping your cunt with his big hand. You shook your head and he smirked, guiding his tip up and down your slit.

“Nope, because I know it’s mine,” he whispered, letting you slip his whole length inside your wet pussy. He shoved his hands up the back of your shirt, dragging his nails down the soft skin. Once you’d bottomed out and you were desperately grinding your clit against his pubic bone, he put a hand flat on your chest. “Lean back and ride me, pet.”

You obeyed to the best of your ability. You put your hands behind you on his knees and shifted your weight back, allowing him to fully watch himself disappear into you. The coarse, dark curls at the base of his member lightly stimulated your clit on the downstrokes, making you helplessly whimper while you fucked yourself on him.

“Are yeh sure you fucked someone?” he grunted. “So fuckin’ tight, I just don’t believe it.” His fingers snaked down and played around with your clit, which undoubtedly threw off your bouncing. Your hips begged to stay down and enjoy the circles he was tracing over your button, but he wouldn’t let you. His free hand went to your hip, just above where it bent into your thigh, and guided you to start moving again. “Uh-uh. Keep ridin’ me, love. I know yeh can keep a rhythm, hmm?”

So you kept riding. The pressure of his tip ghosting around your G-spot combined with him stimulating your clit was making it difficult to stay quiet. Sure, Gem was asleep, but she wasn’t dead, and if you made a ridiculous amount of noise, she’d definitely investigate.

“Gonna cum, aren’t yeh?” he asked, and fuck, he was right. That knot was already starting to form in your lower belly.. “I can tell. Yeh gonna let go, all over m’cock? Gonna make a mess fo’ me?”

His words caused you to spill over, and you were no longer able to hold yourself up leaning back. He was very forgiving of this, and let you grab at his shoulders while riding out your high. Once you’d stopped shaking and panting into his neck, he thrusted his hips up into you once, twice, three times and came inside of you with a grunt and some more nail-digging, this time into your thighs.

And then it was silent. You meekly got off of him and shakily pulled your shorts back up. You two quietly redressed, Harry nearly dead from his draining orgasm and you weak in the legs from your sexual workout. The only noise was the scratch of fabric on fabric and your shared heavy breathing. Finally, when you were gathering your things to leave, Harry spoke in his sultry, hoarse voice.

“I like when you come around,” he smiled, and you immediately returned it. It didn’t seem like much, but this was Harry’s way of expressing affection. Regardless of how good he was in bed or how witty and charming he came off, he was still a goofy teenage boy who had trouble talking about his emotions.

A little giggle came out of your nostrils. “Thanks, Haz.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, hmm?” he asked, pinning that unconfident noise at the end despite knowing you’d be back. He was already relaxing, crossing his arms behind his head and lazily eyeing you scramble towards the front door.

“Yeah,” you dreamily affirmed, giving a quick wave to Harry (which he goofily returned) and floating out the front door. “Tomorrow,” you said to the empty street in front of you, toying with your car keys in your hands.

[eddie-boii]

Never Let You Go (part 9/14)

Fic info: Both Eddie and Stan live because I do what I want. Multichapter.

Rating: Teen and up (may change). Language.

Pairings: Reddie, Benverly.

Ao3 link: here

Summary: The Losers prepare for a wedding. Here’s some fluff before the wedding happens. In this house, we love and appreciate Audra and Patty.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

*

Richie awoke to a pillow slapping his head and a pleasant greeting of “Wake up, fuck-face!”

“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” Richie groaned, rolling over in bed and burying his face deeper into his warm pillow so as to ignore the tiny hypochondriac man currently trying to force him out of bed. A brief glance at the window told him it had snowed overnight, and he’d much rather stay in his cosy bed than venture out there.

“Come on, asshole, today’s the big day!” Eddie said, pulling the sheets off of Richie magician-style before immediately releasing a sound not-unlike one of those rubber chicken dogs toys and clapping his hands over his eyes. “Where the fuck are your clothes?!”

“Why the fuck would I wear clothes when I was supposed to be sleeping alone?!” Richie said, finally dragging himself out of bed to slip on a dressing gown and smirking slightly at Eddie’s red face. 

“Are you decent yet?”

“Morally?” said Richie. “Hard to say.”

“Do you have clothes on, dipshit?”

Richie rolled his eyes. “Yes, Eduardo, you can look again without gagging.”

“Why would I gag?” said Eddie, finally lowering his hands, and Richie swallowed the urge to make a blowjob joke.

“So what brings you here this morning, my dear spaghetti?”

Eddie scowled at the nickname. “Maybe because this is my fucking assigned room, jerk-off.” When Richie raised an eyebrow at him, he rolled his eyes. “Bev kicked me out and your presence is requested to help the bride prepare for her special day,” he explained, fluttering his fingers about sarcastically as though disgusted by the romantic notion of it all.

“Well why didn’t you just say, spaghetti-bear?” said Richie. “You mind giving me some privacy while I shower and get dressed first? Unless you wanna get all steamy with me?” he added with a wink, grinning when Eddie’s face flushed red once more even while he wore that adorable scowl.

“Whatever, asshole, I’m going to help Ben get ready.” He retrieved one of his many suitcases - the one containing his suit - and made his exit, leaving Richie to get ready for the day.

Nobody could say Richie didn’t make an effort to look nice; he’d had a haircut a few days ago, and now he actually shaved and put on deodorant after his shower before putting on his fanciest outfit: jeans and a tuxedo t-shirt.

“Don’t all fawn over me at once, ladies,” he declared as he flung open the door to Bev’s room to find Stan, Patty and Audra all fussing over Beverly’s hair and makeup.

“Nope,” said Stan, taking one look at him. “You are not wearing that, no fucking way.”

“Bev said I could wear whatever I wanted!” Richie protested as Beverly tried valiantly to hide her grimace.

Stan gave him a deadpan look. He walked over to a suitcase and pulled a suit bag from it, shoving into Richie’s arms. “Go change.”

“Why do you have this?” said Richie, frowning down at the bag. It was black and opaque so he couldn’t see what the garment it held looked like.

“Because I knew you’d try to pull some shit,” said Stanley. “Go. Change.”

“No offence, Staniel,” said Richie, eying Stan’s bird-patterned tie, “but I don’t trust your fashion taste.”

“I picked it especially for you,” said Stan, and shook his head when Richie looked even more apprehensive. “You’ll like it, trust me.”

Richie wasn’t convinced but went into the en suite to change anyway. As soon as he unzipped the bag, he grinned. He’d never doubt Stan again.

“Now you’ll really have to try not to fawn over me, ladies!” said Richie, grinning widely as he stepped back out of the bathroom all decked out in a suit, except this one wasn’t boring and black like all the ones he had to wear to red carpet events that he hated so much; this one was colourful and patterned with bright flowers all over, not unlike his favourite Hawaiian shirts. The shirt underneath was black, but Richie didn’t care as it made sure the whole look wasn’t too over-the-top. He looked pretty hot if he did say so himself. “You really outdid yourself, Stan-the-man!” he said, pulling Stan into a tight hug.

“You’re welcome, Trashmouth,” Stan laughed. “Patty helped me pick it out,” he added, and Richie gave Patty a big hug too, momentarily distracting her from doing up Bev’s hair.

“You actually look really handsome,” said Bev, looking him up and down.

“You sound surprised,” said Richie, feigning offence.

“More handsome than usual,” Bev rectified. “That nightmare outfit actually suits you.”

“It does scream Richie, doesn’t it?” said Stan.

“Alright, I think we’re done here, hon,” said Audra as she made a final sweep of blusher across Bev’s cheekbone. “You want any makeup doing, Richie?”

Richie blinked at her, momentarily caught off guard. He joked about that sort of thing a lot - a way to detract attention from the fact that he really was a huge ‘fairy’ like his school bullies always said - but Audra seemed completely serious. Richie hadn’t really considered actually indulging in feminine things now that he was out and proud without making it a joke.

“Uh,” he said, “what kind of makeup?”

Audra tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I reckon you’d look really hot with some eyeliner and painted nails.”

“Careful you don’t make Eddie have a fit,” Stan murmured, and Bev snorted as Richie shot them both a glare.

Audra didn’t seem to hear as she was too busy retrieving a bag containing about a hundred little bottles of nail varnish. “Wanna pick a colour?” she said, passing Richie the bag.

Richie perched on the edge of the bed and shuffled through all the bottles, marvelling at just how many colours there were. He contemplated picking a pink that matched some of the flowers on his suit, but decided to play it safe and pulled out a plain black instead.

Audra took the bottle off him and sat beside him on the bed, pulling his hand into her lap. She filed down the jagged edges first - courtesy of a nail-biting habit Richie had never managed to get rid of despite his mother’s wishes - then opened the bottle carefully. Richie stayed perfectly still, watching the little brush sweep over his nails one by one.

“Wow, you actually got Richie to shut up and stay still,” said Stan. “We should’ve made you an honorary Loser sooner.”

Richie flipped him off with his free hand but was careful not to move the one Audra was working on.

“It’s part of my charm,” Audra said simply, not looking up from what she was doing.

“All done, Bev!” said Patty from across the room, and Richie looked up to see the finished result of Bev’s makeover. 

Her makeup was done to perfection thanks to Audra and her movie-star expertise; her eyeshadow blended expertly across her lids and the colour bringing out the green in her eyes, her eyeliner perfectly neat and even on each side, her cheekbones highlighted expertly and her lips painted a pretty pink. And her hair was flawless, pulled back in a loose bun bordered by a braid that had been woven around little silver flowers, wavy strands of amber locks falling free to frame her face.

“You look gorgeous, Bev,” said Richie.

“Thanks, sweetie,” said Bev, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. “And thank you, girls, you did amazing.”

“You’re welcome, honey,” said Patty, smiling softly. “You make such a beautiful bride.”

“Yeah, I’m only, like, ninety per cent jealous right now,” said Audra and Bev laughed. “Alright, handsome, don’t touch anything while that dries,” she said to Richie as she finished painting the last nail. “Now, let me see what I can do about eyeliner.”

“Ooh, I think your hair might be long enough to braid,” said Patty, coming over. “Can I?”

“Suddenly I’m eight again and acting like a doll for my sister and her stupid friends,” said Richie, but he didn’t protest as Patty grabbed a brush and some hair ties.

“You love it,” said Bev and Richie just stuck his tongue out at her.

Stan had to run off to take a phone call before Richie’s makeover was complete. He stood in front of the mirror admiring Patty and Audra’s handy work. Thankfully, Patty hadn’t gone too overboard with the braiding, and Richie didn’t match a certain photo his mom had on her fridge depicting him with about twenty bunches and bows in his hair and glittery eyeshadow all over his face. This look was far more subtle.

“You look like a Viking-emo-hippy,” said Bev. “It shouldn’t work but it does.”

“I look hot as fuck,” said Richie humbly.

“Twenty-bucks says Eddie pops a boner,” Bev whispered not-so-subtly to Audra.

“You’re on.”

“Will you please stop with the fucking bets,” said Richie. “Or at least let me in on them, I bet I could make big money.”

“You wish, sunshine,” said Bev.

Stan reentered the room a moment later, a frown creasing his face. It must have been serious because he didn’t even look twice at Richie’s makeover.

“Uh, Beverly, don’t freak out, but we have a problem.”

“Oh no,” said Bev, paling instantly. “What is it?”

“There’s been a lot of snow overnight and the minister can’t make it,” said Stan.

Beverly stared at him. “What?” she cried, her voice cracking with panic as she grasped Richie’s arm for support and Patty rubbed her back comfortingly. “We can’t have a wedding without a minister!”

“Bev, it’s going to be fine,” said Stan, holding out his hands giving her a calming look. “I can perform the wedding, my father made sure I was ordained.”

“But we’re not Jewish,” said Bev, still far from calm. “Can you still do it? Is that going to be a problem?”

“I’m not a Rabbi, it’ll be fine,” said Stan and Beverly gave a great sigh of relief before rushing into his arms and giving him a tight hug.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said emphatically before pulling away so as not to smudge her makeup. “Oh no, but who will walk down the aisle with Mike?”

“Don’t worry, babe,” said Richie. “Your man has two hands.”

“God, this wedding is just getting further and further away from traditional,” sighed Bev.

“Did you expect anything less?” said Stan.

“Good point.”

“You better get going, babe,” said Audra after checking her watch. “You don’t wanna be late.”

“We’ll see you at the second ceremony,” said Patty. She hugged Bev then gave Stan a quick peck on the lips. “Good luck.”

“You’ll be fine,” said Audra, giving Bev’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “That is one good-looking hunk you’ve snagged yourself.”

“And so respectful,” sighed Patty dreamily.

“I’m standing right here,” said Stan.

Patty soft smile turned into a grin, her eyes glinting mischievously. “No one can beat my man’s sweet little behind,” she replied, reaching her arms around her husband. He yelped suddenly, his face turning red, and Richie realised she’d pinched his ass. He couldn’t blame her.

He gasped dramatically. “You married a girl with a wild side, Stanley!”

Stan shot him a glare but Patty winked at him.

“Oh, he’s got wild side too.”

“Patty!” Stan squawked, and Patty giggled, reaching up to kiss his nose.

”See you later,” she said, then she linked her arm with Audra’s and the two made their way out of the room.

Stanley was still blushing and Richie nudged him playfully. “Man, I really wish I’d been at your wedding.”

Stan rolled his eyes at him but then looked at the ground, his smile falling slightly. “Me too,” he said softly.

Beverly moved forward and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “We’re all together for this wedding at least.”

“Yeah,” said Stan, looking up at her and smiling. “You ready?”

Bev returned his smile a little shakily, wringing her hands together. “As I’ll ever be,” she replied.

They all bundled into thick winter coats, obscuring most of their outfits for the time being.

“We’re really doing this outside?” said Richie, eying the garden through the frost-flecked window which had become a winter wonderland overnight.

“For the aesthetic,” said Bev, giving him puppy-dog eyes. “And for me.”

“Ugh, fine,” said Richie.

“Shouldn’t take long,” said Stan. “Then we’ve got the second ceremony inside where its warm.

“Can’t wait,” said Richie. “This better be fucking spectacular in the meantime.”

“I hope so,” said Bev. She stepped between them and took their hands. Richie squeezed her hand and she squeezed back, smiling up at him, nervous but… Excited. Really excited.

“You’re about to marry Ben,” Richie whispered, and Beverly nodded, unable to speak, but her eyes were bright and glistening.

The words still didn’t feel quite real. Everything that had happened, everything they’d been through, and here they were. Alive. Two of his best friends in the world getting married. Only a year ago, weddings to him were just boring events he attended for the benefit of the press. Just turn up, smile, eat the free cake and leave. But he hadn’t had real friends back then, or at least, he hadn’t remembered them. He’d spent twenty-seven years with a pit in his chest he couldn’t seem to fill and no idea how it had gotten there. But now, standing here holding Beverly’s hand with Stan, preparing to go meet the others, he felt whole again. Finally. He may not have remembered the Losers for those twenty-seven years, but he’d missed them so much more than they could ever know. They were more than just friends to him; they were soulmates, all of them. Their absence had left a huge gap in his life, but now they were back, and he was never letting them go.

Beverly sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She squeezed the hands of both the men either side of her tightly, drew her shoulder’s back, and they all turned as one to face the door. 

“Ok,” she said. “I’m ready.” 

Richie smiled down at her. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s go get you married.”

*

Previous Next

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Sixty One

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

December 14th, 2020

Roman turned his head to look at the guy behind him in his math class. It looked like Ryan was wearing nail polish, but he couldn’t be...could he? Was wearing nail polish something Ryan liked to do? Was Ryan secretly in the closet and he hadn’t told anyone he was actually a woman, or nonbinary? Was this his way of coming out?

After class that day, Roman quietly asked Ryan about the nail polish. “Oh, yeah!” Ryan said, glancing at his nails. “I almost forgot I had it on. I went to a punk rock concert last night, and to get into it I painted my nails black. I think it’s pretty cool!”

“Aren’t you worried people will think you’re, you know, a girl?” Roman asked.

“Nah,” Ryan shrugged off. “Guys can wear nail polish too. It’s just a little less common. See you later!”

And as Ryan walked off to his next class, Roman was left stunned and scratching his head.

March 27th, 2021

Roman was mentally and physically exhausted as Dee wrapped up his game that he had been playing, with Roman acting out the part of the evil Dragon Witch. Honestly, Roman loved Dee, but he could be exhausting if Roman wasn’t careful and didn’t watch what he was doing. And he certainly didn’t watch what he was doing today.

Dee thanked Roman for playing, before running off to do whatever he wanted to do next, and Roman flopped face-first into the couch in the basement. He groaned when he heard slightly hesitant footsteps approach not thirty seconds later. That meant it was either Virgil, or... “Roman?” Patton asked.

Roman just groaned in response. He really was not up for this today, not that he had much of a choice. Patton would probably want to play something equally as draining, and Roman had difficulties ever saying no to Patton. He turned his head to look at them. “You good, Pat?” Roman asked.

“I should be asking you that,” Patton retorted. “You’re the one who played with Dee for forty five minutes straight.”

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. “That was probably a mistake, but seeing him happy was worth it.”

Patton smiled at him. “You’re a good older brother. A great older brother,” they corrected themselves.

“Do you want something? Or are you just trying to genuinely compliment me instead of buttering me up?” Roman asked with a sigh. “I’m just...really tired right now, Pat. I’m not up for much.”

“Oh,” Patton said. “I was wondering if you’d want to help me with makeup at all. You know that Dad and Ami got me a little makeup bag with some stuff inside it for my birthday, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to help me try some of it. I know how to use lipstick, but I have no idea what the other stuff should do.”

Roman sighed. That sounded like fun, and he didn’t want to say no to Patton, but he was genuinely exhausted. “I don’t know if I’m up for that right now, Pat. Though, if you want, maybe we could do each others’ nails?”

Patton’s whole face lit up. “Do you mean that?” they asked.

“Yeah,” Roman said. “So long as you use the bright red nail polish, I’m great with it.”

“Cool!” Patton exclaimed. That was another gift they got on their birthday—a few small bottles of nail polish. “Can we do it now, or do you want to nap for a little bit?”

“Eh, naps are kinda unhealthy after a certain time, and I’d be waking up at three in the afternoon if I fell asleep now. But I’d be so groggy I’d probably go right back to sleep,” Roman said, standing up and stretching.

Patton cocked their head to the side. “Isn’t it one in the afternoon?”

“Yup,” Roman agreed.

They went upstairs together, and nearly got run over by Vanellope and Dee rushing down the hall. “Dee, slow down!” Roman called.

“Never!” Dee called back. He had been talking bit by bit at home, claiming that so long as no one took any accidental tone as what he meant to say, that he’d feel comfortable using his voice. And he had used it more often when someone asked him for something but they couldn’t see him signing.

Roman shook his head and walked with Patton up another flight of stairs to their room, and Patton immediately went to their dresser, grabbing the red and the yellow bottles of nail polish. “Ooh, feeling cheery, are we?” Roman asked.

“I want to try the yellow out,” Patton said with a shrug. “Besides, it’s nice and bright and Dee might like it.”

Roman shook his head playfully. “One day, Patton, you’re going to paint your nails full rainbow, aren’t you?”

“Probably,” Patton agreed, getting on their bed. “Do you want me to do your hands or your toes?”

“Hands, please,” Roman requested, also sitting on the bed.

They sat in silence for a minute, not really needing to say anything, or having anything they wanted to say. Then, Patton idly said, “I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a crush.”

“Never?” Roman asked. “Not once?”

Patton shook their head. “Nope. I’m not really sure I want one, either. Romance is weird, and like, it’s okay if other people want to do it, but I’ve never found someone who I really want to do romantic stuff with. Is there a word for that?”

“Aromantic,” Roman said, letting Patton wave their hand a little bit over Roman’s fingers. “You could always be aromantic.”

“Huh,” Patton said. “What if I thought that I could maybe date someone, but like, only if I knew them really well? Like, I wouldn’t wanna date anyone I just saw on the street, that seems kinda weird. But I could see myself dating a friend, if they were okay with it.”

“That would be demiromantic, then,” Roman informed Patton.

“Oh!” Patton looked briefly surprised. “Okay. I didn’t know there was a word for that.”

Roman waited for Patton to say something else, but he didn’t. “That’s it?” Roman asked.

“That’s it,” Patton said, glancing up at Roman in their nail painting. “I’m demiromantic, until proven otherwise, I guess. Not a big deal, is it?”

“I mean, no, not if you don’t want to make it one,” Roman said. “I just thought you might...want to make it one.”

“Nah,” Patton said. “I don’t care too much about my gender, why should I care about who I love when I don’t have someone to love at the moment?”

“Fair enough, I guess,” Roman said, frowning. “I’m just...surprised.”

Patton grinned. “What, that the metaphorical heart of the family can’t be the heart when it comes to love?”

“Not what I meant!” Roman exclaimed. “I don’t want to push you into that specific category if you don’t want to be there. And there’s more to love than romance, you of all people should know that.”

“Yeah, I do,” they said with a cheeky grin. “I was just trying to tease.”

Roman narrowed his eyes and said, “As soon as my nails are dry, I will tickle you relentlessly.”

Patton laughed. “Good luck with that!”

“You know I can outrun you,” Roman warned.

“Yeah, but if I tickle you back, you stop your tickling and collapse into a useless heap,” Patton pointed out. “And I know all your weak spots.”

Roman’s jaw dropped. “Is that a challenge, my dear sibling?”

Patton’s grin grew mischievous. “And if it is?” they asked.

“Well, I would say that you’re in for a rude awakening!” Roman laughed.

Patton giggled and shook their head, continuing to paint Roman’s nails. When they had finished the last pinkie, they put the bottle of red nail polish on their nightstand, and offered the yellow one to Roman. “Can you do mine now?” they asked. “While your nails dry?”

“Sure,” Roman agreed, twisting the cap off and beginning to paint Patton’s nails. He was wracking his brain for something to say. “So, what’s it like being nonbinary?”

Patton shrugged. “Why do you ask?” they replied.

“I’m just curious,” Roman said. “Because there’s rejecting societal norms and gender conformity, and then there’s actually living outside the binary. Logan has told me a little about what it’s like swapping places on the binary, but I was wondering what it’s like outside it.”

“It’s...definitely interesting,” Patton said. “There’s not really one way to show that you’re nonbinary, you know? There’s no one size, or no one presentation, that will make people look at you and go, ‘Oh, they’re clearly nonbinary.’ A lot of people haven’t even heard of the term before. And you can dress vaguely masculine but have androgynous features and people may wonder, ‘Are they a boy or a girl?’ but they never ask if the person is nonbinary. Besides, not all nonbinary people want to present as vaguely masculine.”

“And if you dress at all feminine people assume you’re a trans girl or in drag, is that true?” Roman asked.

“I dunno about drag, because I’m only ten. There aren’t really drag queens my age, you know?” Patton laughed. “But yeah, people have asked me if I’m a boy or a girl, and the mean ones have asked it with a sneer or used the word ‘transgender’ like it’s a slur. It’s...it’s frustrating sometimes, but more often than not it’s just tiring. Why can’t I be allowed to just be myself, and not put a label on it? Sure, nonbinary is a good label, but if there could be no labels at all, it would be nice. I know some people feel better with labels, but I...don’t, usually. It’s nice when there’s a word for something like demiromantic, so I know I’m not alone, but if I have to use the label to explain why I’m not interested in someone, it’s just...yucky, you know?”

“Yeah, you don’t want to be forced into a box, you want to be in that box because you choose to be,” Roman agreed, finishing one of Patton’s hands. “I completely understand that.”

Patton hummed their agreement. “I’m super glad you understand,” they said softly. “Because sometimes it feels like others don’t. They don’t like being pushed into boxes because they’re the wrong boxes. Ami’s genderfluid. Logan’s a guy. I just...don’t like being put in any boxes. All the boxes are wrong.”

Roman nodded. That sounded really difficult, and he wished that Patton didn’t have to deal with that. His little sibling deserved better than those who insisted everyone be placed in a box. “Anything in particular you want to do after our nails have dried?” he asked.

“Nah,” Patton said. “Maybe we could just relax on your bed for a bit, or read downstairs, but I don’t want to do anything super high-energy today.”

“Oh, good, because I don’t want to either,” Roman sighed. “I’m exhausted.”

“I could tell,” Patton said, their grin just a little too big for Roman’s liking. “You never pace yourself when it comes to doing stuff with me, Virgil, or Dee. You’re a big softie when it comes to us.”

“Am not!” Roman protested. “I treat all of the family equally!”

“Then why don’t you do the same to Logan?” Patton challenged.

“Because he can be a jerk and we argue more than we get along,” Roman said.

“When anyone else is around,” Patton said. “Logan has told me that the two of you get along better without supervision. You act like mature adults who can handle problems on their own. But not if anyone else is around. You like putting up a front, but the two of you love each other.”

“Don’t tell anyone!” Roman hissed. “I have a reputation to protect, come on, Pat!”

Patton giggled and shook their head. “Come on, everyone knows that you two love each other, it’s not some government secret or anything.”

“Well, yeah, but it doesn’t need to be pulled into the open for inspection either!” Roman protested. “Seriously, Pat. It’s something that Logan and I share when we have time alone. If everyone knows that we’re civil alone, then someone will say they expect us to be civil all the time, and that will lead to actual arguments, not just arguing over who used the last of the eggs to make breakfast, or who stole who’s sweatshirt.”

“Okay, okay, okay, I won’t tell,” Patton promised. “I don’t see the big deal about having to be civil, though. Virgil and I get along almost all the time, whether other people are around or not.”

“Well, that’s different,” Roman said. “Because you don’t have the reputation of being a ‘Type A’ personality. People expect us to clash. If we don’t, they’ll get suspicious, and if people are scared of us getting along, they might spread rumors that would make us fight for real, and not want to talk anymore.”

“People would do that?” Patton asked, wrinkling their nose.

“Yup,” Roman said, finishing Patton’s second hand of nail polish. He put the bottle on the nightstand and sighed. “People are dumb sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Patton agreed. “Good thing we’re not just ‘people’ to each other, then, right?”

“I guess so,” Roman said with a smile.

[textingnct]

FRIENDS TO LOVERS WITH RENJUN PT. 2

after he had asked you to be his girlfriend, and after you accepted, he asked you again

he had your favorite flowers and a basket with all types goodies

and though you had said yes already and went through the confession, you both were still so excited and happy to finally start a relationship

the emotions you two held for each other will finally be able to pool out bc you're!! dating!!

the awkward tension of holding one another or giving the sweetest affection you won't give to others won't be weird anymore

and you can be all lovey without ppl saying anything bc!! you're!! finally!! dating!!

if anything, the other guys are finally happy that you two are together bc

dream couldn't take it anymore

all renjun did was talk abt you when you weren't around and his uwu's were always spilt

on the other hand.. the other members are always asking you how you feel about having a bf

specifically having renjun as a bf

and you're always blushing, it's so cute taeil can't help but squish you bc it's so soft

what you're most excited abt in the relationship is using pet names

of course you already use them, it's how you showed your affection as friends,

but now you can call him by his nickname and send him all the hearts you want

he's excited for the hugs and smooches, ngl he's shy and isn't sure if the first kiss will be everything you're expecting but he loves you sm

you're both always with the other dudes, and they're always trying to leave you two alone

but there's always that one person whose ready to ruin it

"why do we keep walking faster and faster?? also y/n and renjun were left back there.. let me go get them"

"mark omg donT you get it they're dating theY caN be alOne"

but lol here he comes with both of y'all with slight disappointed faces, pulling you two

so a few days after that, also a few weeks after you two started dating, the boy finally got the guts to take you out on an actual date

no one else taking care of you, no one else asking if you want to be alone and making it awkward... no one else to bother you

he was extremely excited as he was typing out plans and asking you where you'd like to eat and spend your time as a couple at

and just like when you were close buddies, you went to the cafe you always went to together

"hmm.. this is a new pastry, do you wanna try it y/n?"

"yeah yeah!! it's our favorite flavor i'm sure we'll both like it (:"

his heart was beating the whole time bc you looked so cute with what you were wearing and you smiled even more than usual

"i'm happy we can finally be together without mark parenting us or chensung giving us ugly faces"

you spoke up as you fed renjun a piece of the pastry, his face lighting up with joy from the taste

"or nomin giggling behind us"

you two giggled as you shared more memories about the others

sipping your coffees or beverages and sharing with one another

he loves it when you call him out lovingly, or when you want his attention

his heart just explodes and he's worried if it physically happens bc that's exactly how he feels everytime

"ahh babe... renjun why do you keep bothering donghyuck?? listen to me ):"

"o-oh i'm sorry... babe... i'll listen to you, wanna go get some ice cream it's pretty hot out today"

cue nomin sweating bullets and screeching their throats out

"sweetie you're out of bread... do you guys even eat? you need to eat bubs, stay healthy <3"

"actually i know it's pretty late but if you want!! we should go to the market!! i'll make kun come with us for he can pay for everything"

gets jealous pretty easily

it either be with the other guys, someone from school, or someone you're friends with.. he doesn't want anyone being handsy or cute with you

"why are you touching y/n's arm??? who are you?? are you even relevant? let's go babe"

"he was asking if i could tutor him for biology.. renjun don't be jealous, it's all fine"

"i have him for biology and he has a higher grade than me y/n.. you're mine okay?"

doesn't like it when the other members compliment you, though they do it to tease him nonetheless

"woaaaah, y/n you look really cute with your hair styled that way!! how come you've never done it like that??"

"jisung who do you think you are?? i'm older than you, respect me maybe?"

"but he was talking to y/n! and she's okay with receiving our compliments! you're just a jealous boyfriend"

"i'm just protecting my girlfriend chenle is that wrong?"

proceeds to attac

loves it when your relationship is hyped on

"ooh look at them being all cute.. awh they're wearing couple clothing (: my children are growing"

doyoung crying in the corner

you two are always wearing couple clothing might as well bring it up (((((:

almost half of your closets are filled with couple clothing...

and you have matching things scattered around your rooms

like matching cases, glasses.. possibly stickers

you're that one couple that have pictures of each other framed in your bedrooms

or have cute letters on your walls that you've made for each other

he's always drawing for you and your bedroom wall is filled with his paintings or drawings

he's your little picasso, and you love hyping him up abt his artwork bc he deserves it

and he has most of your stuff in his room, it either be from clothing for when you sleep over, even your school notebooks or a few of your makeup stuff

if u use any makeup lol i don't so i won't get too into that

you two happen to be really touchy and handsy with each other

either always holding hands or playing with the others fingers or cheeks, and hugging.. there just has to be some friction between the two of you

the cuddle couple™️

no matter what's happening, you'll always end up wrapped up in his arms, your head on his chest as he rubs your shoulder lovingly, talking to you about what's happened between him and the boys or how you've been

inseparable.. you two always go out together, it doesn't matter where the other will for sure follow behind

"heyyyy renjun, i'm about to go get my nails done with my friends what's up?"

"oh!! you're gonna get your nails done?? let me join along.. I'm not busy and seeing your cute face would be nice (:"

your own friends are sometimes surprised by how interested he actually is when he's out with you guys

"y/n you've totally gotten the best boyfriend.. mine doesn't want to tag along bc I get too loud..."

"ahhh well.. y/n's friends are my friends!! i'd like to have an open mindset as well"

"hmm maybe he just wants to spend more time with his honey.. for all we know he's cursing us out in his head... cute"

renjun desperately tries to speak over your loud giggly friends lmao but gives up anyways

but in all seriousness your friends rlly do love him as a friend and as your boyfriend

he's the best you've done and if you haven't date well you started off with such a great partner

and they all absolutely love how he's so open to what you like and how much he's willing to take to see you have a good time

like he could be waaaaaay out of his comfort zone but he'd do anything for you.. and figure out it wasn't as bad as he thought it'd be in the end

and though your friends do anything to tease him, and took a while to accept him completely, they love having him around

"hey y/n you should invite renjun no?? doesn't he like themed restaurants??"

"hm, you're right he does.. you're sure you'd be okay with him around?"

"uhh yeah the dudes really funny and he gives dirt about his friends"

you're the one he goes to first when he wants to give off steam or speak about one of the members

or if he was feeling sad or just out of it... he wants to tell you and let you know how he's feeling

he doesn't let his feelings eat him to the point where you start feeling worried for him and have to ask if he's okay... he wants to let you know and doesn't want to worry you even a tiny bit

and you try to be like that too but sometimes you're so deep in your head you even forget to tell him

resulting in the boy figuring out how you're feeling himself and keeps an eye on you, he wants to feel like you can tell him anything so he doesn't try forcing you to tell him what's up unless you're feeling rlly bad then that's when he's asking and asking

"hey babe... you hungry? i can make you something to eat, you haven't eaten much today"

"hm? oh oh, yeah if you're gonna eat i'll eat too"

"okay, i'll make smth quick, how was your day? you can always talk to me alright y/n?"

he loves you with all of his heart and he wants nothing but for you to be happy and to be by your side for as long as the world allows him to be

you as well love him so much, with such an amount that you thank the universe for letting such an amazing boy be by your side as your best friend and boyfriend

you both play huge parts in each other's lives and it would ruin both of you if anything happens to the other... you're both deeply in love with each other and see a far future together 💗💗

lol hey guys!! sorry for not updating quickly ): I was in a small slump and writers block lol... I've been a bit busy with family stuff too so (: but I'll be more active starting today lol

i'm working on smth for lucas for that anon who requested btw (: hopefully this was good enough! love you guys 💗

[trash-on-wheels-blog]

Behind the Tattoos and Flowers

Guys this is my first smutty phan fic so please feel free to criticize me or submit requests. I don’t really know how to do this, so sorry if the format is kinda off. Also, this has a plot, but it’s pretty shitty, but bear with me, I’m trying.

Genre: Smut

Warnings: punk!Phil, pastel!Dan, top!Dan, bottom!Phil, anal sex, blowjob, all that jazz

Summary: punk!Phil and pastel!Dan are the most popular couple at the school, for being the cutest and most obscure. Phil is covered in dark tattoos and is always dressed in black and leather. Dan has soft, curly, brown hair adorned with a colorful flower crown and dressed in light colored sweaters and his favorite lavender Converse. What everyone doesn’t know, is that they are completely different behind closed doors.

All eyes looked at the couple as they walked into school, holding hands and glancing at each other with so much love even the coldest of people would melt. They reached Dan’s locker and he opened it and pulled out his first period books. Phil leaned against the lockers next to Dan’s and talked to Dan about happy nonsense they always babbled on about. The first period bell rang and they leaned in for a kiss before parting ways to their class.

The first four periods went by in a breeze. Dan was waiting by Phil’s locker for him to arrive and walk to lunch together. Unfortunately, Dan’s least favorite person sauntered up to him.

“What do you want, Alex?” Dan spat at the captain of the football team.

“Ooh, Princess has an attitude today”, Alex smirked.

Dan noticed Phil marching over to them. He quickly pushed off the lockers and met Phil before anything else could happen. Of course, Phil insisted on giving Alex a piece of his mind, but Dan caressed Phil’s hand to calm him down and started walking to the cafeteria.

As they sat down, Alex swiped Dan’s flower crown off his head and “accidentally” poured his food tray all over Dan’s light blue sweater and white jeans. Dan looked to Phil to hold him down, but he was already up and lunging towards Alex. Phil landed on top of him and started punching down, leaving cuts and bruises on Alex’s face. Dan finally pulled Phil off of him and dragged him to his car.

Dan started driving home without saying a word to Phil. About half way through the ride, Phil broke down in tears and hiccups. Dan pulled over and turned off the car. After taking off his sweater, he pulled Phil into his lap and wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy.

What people didn’t know, is that the boy with tattoos, piercings, black hair, and dark clothing is actually very sensitive and light. His room is painted seafoam green and he likes to wear light colors, maybe even a bit of makeup sometimes. Both he and Dan don’t know why they don’t just be themselves and dress how they want, but neither of them want to be bullied for the sudden change of appearance and actions. It’s quite pathetic, but makes sense if you think about it.

After Phil calmed down, Dan nudged him back to his seat and continued home without a word.

Once they arrived at Dan’s house, they made their way up the stairs to Dan’s room. Dan opened the door and Phil plopped down on Dan’s black and white bedsheets and glanced around the room. The walls were a dark gray. Well, they would be if there weren’t so many rock band posters everywhere. There was a small corner that was painted light pink, a drastic contrast to the rest of the room. In the patch of color was pictures of Dan and Phil and their favorite memories together. Phil’s mind jumped out of thought when Dan layed down next to Phil.

“Why do we keep doing this?” Dan sighed.

“Doing what?” Phil asked.

“Pretending to be who we’re not. We’re so concerned with keeping our reputations that we’re going as far as not standing up for ourselves just to keep the act up.”

Dan turned on his side to face Phil. Dried tears were stained on Phil’s cheeks until Dan wiped them off with his thumb.

“I love you the way you are. If people can’t handle that, then fuck them. I don’t want you to beat someone up for me just to keep up the bad boy punk charade,” Dan stated.

“But I’m scared, Dan,” Phil said, turning to face him. “It’s a big change. I mean, I know we act different when it’s just us, but I don’t want to deal with people’s reactions.”

“I know, but I hate seeing you cry like that. You’re just not that person to go around beating people up to defend his boyfriend. Let’s just ease into it. I’m sick of us hiding who we are.”

“Daniel Howell. I love you,” Phil whispered, leaning in and meeting Dan’s lips.

A simple kiss led to Dan and Phil both naked on the bed. Dan was on top, grinding down onto Phil. Moans erupted from their mouths, hands begging for more to touch. Phil flipped them so he was on top. He slowly started kissing down Dan’s neck and chest, getting closer to Dan’s dick. His hands held Dan’s hips down to prevent movement.

“Please, Phil. Blow me already,” Dan demanded, hands shooting down to grip Phil’s hair.

Phil wrapped his lips around Dan and sunk down around his cock. Dan’s moans filled the room and bounced back as if they were echoing. Phil glanced up to see Dan’s face scrunched up and his eyes shut, clearly enjoying what Phil was doing.

This wasn’t their first time, but they still enjoyed seeing each other’s expressions just as much, if not more, than being pleasured themselves.

Phil bobbed his head up and down. Fingers raked through his hair and lightly pushed down, silently asking for more. Minutes passed before Dan pushed Phil off of him and on his back.

“I need to be in you, love. I can’t wait anymore”, Dan panted.

He reached for the lube inside the bedside table drawer. Once he found it, he put a generous amount on his fingers and brought them to Phil’s hole. He put his right hand by Phil’s head as his left pointer finger pressed into the dark haired boy. Phil moaned and nodded, begging for more. Dan entered another finger, and another as Phil began grinding down on his fingers. Moans were escaping Phil’s mouth like a river when he felt the familiar feeling in his stomach.

“Dan. Please. Fuck me already”, he begged.

“As you wish, princess.”

Dan put on a condom and applied another glob of lube to his hand before gliding it on his dick, moaning at the warmth of it. He leaned down and placed his elbows on the sides of Phil before pushing in enough to let Phil adjust. He nodded and Dan pushed all the way in, both of them moaning as he bottomed out.

“Move, Dan. Please. Fuck me so hard I can’t walk.”

Dan took that as a challenge and began pounding in to Phil. The headboard slammed against the wall as Dan’s speed increased. They were both moaning profanities and praises as they edged to their climaxes.

“Oh my god! Fuck, you feel so good, baby. So so good. I love you so much,” Dan moaned.

“A-ah, Dan! I’m close, I’m close!” Phil warned.

Phil’s nails were creating crescent shapes in Dan’s skin, but he knew he didn’t mind. Dan loved being marked up by Phil, knowing that he is all his. Phil loved being marked up by Dan too. They had to be careful about placement since Phil was supposed to be the “top” in the relationship, but since they’re going to start to be themselves, Dan can mark him wherever he wants and everyone will know who belongs to Dan Howell.

Dan thrusted into Phil as Phil clenched around him, telling him that he’s about to come.

“Dan, I-I’m gonna c-come,” Phil whimpered.

“Come for me, babe. Show me how good I make you feel. God, you’re so amazing.”

With that, Phil came on his chest and Dan. Dan continued slamming into Phil, chasing his own orgasm and bringing Phil through his. Dan suddenly came into the condom and slowed down his thrusts. After a few seconds, he pulled out of Phil, took the condom off, and tossed it into the bin on the floor. He grabbed a tissue and cleaned Phil, not wanting to wake up to a sticky mess. He collapsed next to Phil and pulled him in.

“You’re perfect,” Dan praised.

“I love you,” Phil panted, still regaining his breath. “In pastel clothes or not.”

“I love you too,” Dan mumbled, drifting off into sleep.

Phil smiled at his boyfriend and closed his eyes, falling asleep on Dan’s chest.

Eeee sorry that sucked. I’ll probably write more that’ll hopefully be better.

[notjustagirltattoopodcast]

Not Just A Girl: Trailer Trash

You can listen to the fourth episode with Mimsy Gleeson here. Or you can view the footage of this interview on YouTube with English subtitles/closed captions here.

NOT JUST A GIRL: Tattoo Podcast

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Season 1, Episode 4: Trailer Trash

Eddy: Hello friends and welcome to Not Just A Girl, you're friendly feminist tattoo podcast. I'm Eddy and I'm back to share with you the experiences of artists whose practice is having a positive impact on tattooing. On the fourth episode, we'll be discussing painting for fun, respecting tattoo traditions and running a studio.

Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people whose land was stolen and never ceded. I am honored to be on the ancestral land of the Awabakal people. I pay respect to the Elders past and present and extend my recognition to their descendants.

My guest today is someone that I have looked up to since before I even started tattooing. Um, I've loved her work and even had printouts of it on the wall above my desk. Um, her kindness, uniqueness, um, and respect for the traditions of tattooing are part of why she continues to inspire me. I have the great honor of speaking to Mimsy Gleeson today. Um, Mimsy works at her studio Trailer Trash in Brisbane. Um. Her work, as many of you would know, is probably best described as kawaii traditional. It's all bubblegum and glitter and all kinds of adorable. Um, thank you so much Mimsy for joining me today. It's so good to talk to you.

Mimsy: Hi Eddy. That was, so lovely. Thank you so much. You're amazing.

Eddy: You know, I'm one of your biggest fans.

Mimsy: I don't know what to say that was, that was really beautiful. And, um. I love your description of my style because I struggle with that myself so much. Thank you very much I'm really stoked to be here.

Eddy: Well, um, I guess to start with one of the, I guess probably most common questions, like, um, how long have you been tattooing and what did you do beforehand that led you to tattooing?

Mimsy: Ooh, yeah I struggle with this question because when I started tattooing, there was not I didn't even have a mobile phone, so I don't even know. Like I wish I had a date that I started, but basically I started working in a tattoo shop when I was 20 and I'm 43. Uh, the first year was just, you know, answering the phone and cleaning the studio. Um, so it's been over 20 years. What did I do before that? Well, I was only 20, so it wasn't a heap of time to do too much before tattooing.

Eddy: Still a baby

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I felt like it, but I have to say, I do know a lot of people who started a lot earlier than that. So. Um, to me, I felt like that was really young to start at 20. So I really feel like I grew up in a tattoo studio. Um, but before that I tried going to uni. I studied, um, gold and silver smithing at uni. Um, yeah, at the Queensland college of art. And I really only did that because I couldn't get into the course that I wanted to do. I wanted to do fine art, um, which is just hilarious to me now because obviously that is not my jam.

Um, and I, they knew that. Um, so I, I did study a little bit at uni. Um, I didn't finish my degree. Um, uh, was partying a bit too much at that age.

Eddy: Who wants to do uni anyway?

Mimsy: Yeah, I think it would have been really valuable. I actually learnt a lot when I was there.

Eddy: That's awesome.

Mimsy: Yeah. But other than that, um, previous to that I just did odd jobs. I worked at a screen printing company, um, and I did a lot of designing for them as well for their t-shirts. Um,

Eddy: So you've always circled around creative industry, like even before you were in tattooing?

Mimsy: Well, I do a lot of like I was a checkout chick and you know, I did that, kind of worked at a sandwich bar for a couple of months. Um, but when I could, yeah. The working for the screen printing company, I think I was only 17. That was amazing because they put a lot of my designs on their t-shirts. Um, so that was, that really sparked a, um something in me I suppose. But yeah, definitely. I've always, I've always created since I was, can remember. Yeah.

Eddy: Oh that's so interesting that you worked for a screen printer cause you do so much cool merch and stuff now. Like I've got a whole bunch of your shirts at home and you're always like bringing out like interesting stuff. Like you did, um, a collaboration with a clothing label as well. Didn't you?

Mimsy: Yeah. For awhile there I did heap of stuff with Sour Puss clothing and I loved that collaboration because I love seeing my artwork on clothing, but I am not interested in marketing, marketing myself. I find that business side of things kind of boring. I just want to do the creating and then pass it to someone else. So that company was great to work for because they had the you know, they're like a worldwide company. Um, and they're so great at marketing and putting their little labels on everything. Um, so that was super fun. Yeah. I love doing that. They do dresses and shirts and shower curtains were really popular. Yes

Eddy: That's awesome.

Mimsy: That's where I knew I made it, I made it to a shower curtain.

Eddy: Your stuff lends itself so well to that rockabilly culture and that style of clothing as well. Like it's such a perfect match.

Mimsy: Yeah, I hope so. I love that style. I love that um, yeah, that sort of cheesy nineties, sort of, uh, yeah, rockabilly, psychobilly kind of style. So, yeah, it was heaps of fun.

Eddy: That's perfect. That's so good. Um, like with your kind of kawaii style that you've come to now, have you always done that or is that just something you developed over the years? Like did you always have the cute pink, bubbly, glittery kind of look in your work?

Mimsy: I probably, ah, that's a tough one. I've probably always wanted to, but never quite maybe knew how. I've always loved that style. Um, my Bible has always been a book called Hell Babies called Jun, uh, by Junko Mizuno. Um, I don't know if you've heard of it.

Eddy: No.

Mimsy: Anyway. Um, uh, yeah, I love that stuff but I also, I'm torn because I feel like that's not really taken that seriously.

So, but I love that you described my style as kawaii traditional because I really still do like to have my roots in, um, more of a traditional style as well. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm torn with that stuff, but I don't know. I don't know why I do what I do. I just, there's no thought behind it. It's all impulsive. It's just like, Oh yeah, I feel like doing this?

Eddy: That's perfect though because then it's really genuine.

Mimsy: There is no method to the madness. Honestly, every day I go for a walk and something stupid pops into my head and I'm like, Oh yeah, I've got to do this, or, yeah. Yeah, I can't, I can't stop myself once I get a silly thought in my head, I have to just do it even if it doesn't work out.

I dunno if that answered your question. Uh, it's always been an influence. Um, but yeah, like I said, I've always really admired people who could mix that kawaii traditional style, like Japanese tattooers, I suppose would be a good example. Um, someone like Sabado, back in the early two thousands, um, was doing all this epic like bodysuit work, but it was also really kawaii, like Japanese style back pieces, but it was just like a giant cat with eyelashes

Eddy: Oh my god

Mimsy: And cherry blossoms. Yeah so

Eddy: I can see traditional Japanese influence in your work, like the way that you do backgrounds and stuff like the clouds and the waves and all that.

Mimsy: I love Japanese tattooing. That's my favorite style. I don't proclaim to be able to do it or even know really hardly anything about it but to me that would be the pinnacle of tattoo style for me, is to treat the body as one canvas. And I'm just big bold work that's not necessarily anywhere near perfect, but just the overall look of a full body. Yeah. So, yeah, I love that style.

Eddy: So amazing. I love when you see um a Japanese backpiece, that's just one subject matter, but huge like a giant koi just across the whole back. It's stunning cause it's beautiful from any distance that you look at it.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yes. That would be the dream. More back pieces

Eddy: I like. I love that back piece you did. Um, that had light was it a backpiece? That's like all mermaids and like sea creatures and stuff or was it a sleeve, I can't remember now. It was like a mer. I'll find a picture.

Mimsy: I think I've done a few like that. To be honest. The idea of doing a back tattoo is terrifying at the moment I might have to wait a while to get back into that.

Eddy: Yeah, we'll ease back into it slowly. Yeah. I love how you, you do mix the cute into it. Like when Sophie and I came and got tattooed by you and you had that entire little flash sheet for us, which I've still got on my wall with all the little cat, things like those cat banana, and I got a cat lady. And Sophie got the little, um, cat makeup compact.

Mimsy: Thank you, Eddy. It's just silly stuff.

Eddy: I don't know. Like you say that your stuff's not taken seriously, but I think that there's a really important place for cuteness in tattooing because I think you know, now more than ever, women are getting tattooed far more than men. And I dunno for some, some, some women getting like big serious, like angry dragons might not be their thing, or like a big angry skull might not be their thing, but if it's something that they feel is like cute and makes them feel beautiful and adorable in their own skin, like that's really powerful for a woman like that, you're doing more than you realize.

Mimsy: That's a good way of looking at it. And I mean, obviously when it comes to that style, the, the industry has changed exponentially over the last 10 years. There's so many of us doing that style. I mean, I don't even know if I can say I do that style because there's so many people that do it way better and like really nail it and do exquisite work in that sort of genre. So I feel like I'm like, I've got to take a step back because I can't even

Eddy: You paved the way, you paved the way for cute tattoos in Australia.

Mimsy: Thank you, Eddy. You know what? A lot of people have said that to me over the years, and even though I feel obviously really uncomfortable and awkward. I also feel really, I feel really grateful and I'm proud of the next generations for being able to, um, express that to me and and I accept that now. I feel really, I'm honored and I feel like I, that's how I feel about a lot of my peers who are older than me and paved the way for me. So I really appreciate that the younger generation or the new, newer tattoo generation, um, are really respectful of people who've gone before them. So thank you.

Eddy: That's alright. I think that's a really important part of tattooing and in some groups that's been lost, like you know, the good traditions of tattooing and respecting the past and the history and how it's come to be where it is now. Like if we can't look back with respect, it's really difficult to imagine how we can look forward.

Mimsy: That's what tattooing is all about for me. That is the bottom line. That is everything is the people who paved the way for me and you. That is, that's, that's our religion. You know, this, you know, if you don't have that, you know, you're right. You've got nothing. So, yeah, I agree.

Eddy: Yeah. I remember another thing like, cause I've, I've always picked that up from from watching you just like online and just from following you and being a fan, like how much respect you have for the past. But I remember the first time I ever met you in person when I guested with you, like a million years ago now but, um, you told me that, you know like to have a good, successful tattoo career. It's not about like fame or likes or followers. It's all about like the customers and those regular customers who come back to you and showing them respect and being kind to them. And that's always stuck with me because our careers are made on those people. And without them we have nothing. And I think like that's a really important thing as well. Like that kindness to our clients.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well that's really cool that you still think of that. Um, probably my horrible voice haunting your, your brain. Um, but I do say that I'm, I say that to any, you know, tattoo apprentice or anything. The first 10 years of tattooing, I was terrible at least, and sometimes I still am, to be honest, but the thing that's always gotten me through is just the connection to my customers being super kind and polite and just the utmost respect for everyone that walks in the door if they're showing it to you.

Eddy: Yeah

Mimsy: Of course. Um, yeah. That is everything is to treat each person like they are the most important part of your life when they in your, in the, in your tattoo chair. So even though, Oh my God, I've done so many terrible tattoos, but those people in those beginning years, a lot of those custumers most of them still come in and get tattooed by me because we have, we have that connection. You know, you become family. Yeah. I strongly feel that one side of tattoo, do you your, you're in my fold. You know, you're in my circle.

Eddy: Yeah. It's more than just a customer for sure. Like because you're spending prolonged periods of time with them, like it's much more intimate and you actually get to know them as people.

Mimsy: Yeah, definitely. And that's why I don't have any friends cause I just don't really need them. I get that I get that interaction with my clients, you know, and they become my friends. Um, so that can be, yeah, that can be a bit dangerous, actually, not yeah. For me, I, I tend to lose, um social skills in the outside world because I get that from my clients. Yeah.

Eddy: It's so funny how like tattooers like a so used to just like in the tattoo shop and interacting with clients and colleagues a certain way that in the real world we're just like, I don't know. It's like there's normies and then there's us.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I don't so much feel that, but I definitely feel hermit life and being in, being in isolation for two months, it's not a stretch for me. I love it. Yeah. I'm not, yeah. I don't really feel like I missed, um social life or going out or anything like that. I want more time. It's never enough time for me. I want to paint more. Um

Eddy: Yeah, you've been painting like mad.

Mimsy: Yeah, but it's not enough. That's all I can think about honestly. It's all I want to do.

Eddy: Amazing. But like you can do that. You don't have to tattoo all the time as well. You can just paint if you want to.

Mimsy: Yeah, well, it's been a really interesting experiment because I've always wondered if I could make a living off my art. I did that. Again,

Eddy: No quotation marks, it's art.

Mimsy: Well, I've always wondered that, and it turns out at the moment, I probably could. Um, yeah, I don't really feel like I need to go back to tattooing as extreme as I was. Um. But I can't because I have to get up every 20 minutes and make my teenage kids food. And they're pretty good, honestly. But it's hard because I get interrupted a lot, so I'm glad that they're going back to school in two weeks.

Eddy: It must be hard like you know, being a business owner, being an artist, being a tattooer, and being a mom as well as a partner an all in one thing and then just being stuck in isolation with all of these different hats you have to wear all at once.

Mimsy: Uh, I have a really amazing husband who pretty much just does everything for me and allows me to just function like a toddler most of the time.

Eddy: Pony's so lovely

Mimsy: Uh, yeah, he really just, uh, yeah, we we're a team like that. So he is so supportive of my art that he just allows me to create all day long and he runs around and does all the errands

Eddy: That's perfect.

Mimsy: And, um, all the boring like business stuff. That's, that's all him to be honest.

Eddy: That's awesome

Mimsy: Um. I do take the lead more so on, um, managing the people at the studio that I run. Um, I know that's not specifically what you asked, but I think it's interesting to note, and you might be able to relate to this. Um, I think it's really important that the person managing the people in your studio is also a tattooer

Eddy: Yep, I agree.

Mimsy: Or at least have. Or at least has been,

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Is very strongly, passionately connected to tattooing

Eddy: Well, you can't really understand how they feel unless you've been in their shoes. Because you know, I think maybe sometimes from an outsider perspective, you might think, Oh, they're just a bunch of babies. Like, but when you're in their shoes and you feel that pressure and stress, you can understand where artists come from with certain behaviors or things they do. So it's maybe a bit easier to have empathy and to approach it in a way that they can understand.

Mimsy: And I'm sorry cause I did just change the subject that you asked me,

Eddy: No

Mimsy: But I've always felt like it's really important as someone who runs a studio to be on the front line with your crew, with your co coworkers always, I'm not a boss, I'm a coworker. I'm on the front line. And that's why as tempting as it has been over the years to not tattoo as much, um, I feel like it's really important to keep that connection and to be there most days alongside them on the same level, doing the same stuff, getting in there, cleaning, whatever, you know, you can't be, there's gotta be someone running a studio that is here with with everyone, you know?

Eddy: Yeah, I agree a hundred percent and I think artists appreciate that too. Like for myself, having worked in studios where it was a clearcut, I'm the boss you do what I say, you're less because you're a tattooer and you work for me and you rely on me. It's kind of like, it feels a little bit belittling, but when you work with someone who's also an artist, they understand you. You can communicate to each other. Like, and you don't feel like they're better than you, like you're just learning together. It's so much like, I think it's a better creative environment as well.

Mimsy: Yes. It's a co-op. We're all in it together. Um, and I really think it's the only way it could work nowadays anyway. The industry is too competitive. Um, you know, your artists could just go and work at their home and register their business at home. So what, what's in it for them if they're going to be treated like they're not on the same level you know.

Eddy: Absolutely.

Mimsy: But I didn't really answer your question. You were talking about all the hats and mum being a mom and stuff. Um, yeah, I guess I could say, you know, my kids are 13 and 15 so they're really self-sufficient.

Eddy: That's awesome

Mimsy: They really, they just want to be in their bedrooms, playing video games or watching trashy YouTube anyway. Um, but they've really, they've really grown up with me, um, being absorbed in my work. Um, and I do have a lot of mum guilt about that, which I'm sure you've probably sort of touched on that subject with other artists before as well. Um, but, um, a lot of other people I've gotten feedback about that, um, seem to think that that might benefit them later on being influenced or having a mom who is really self motivated and focused on, um, you know, providing for my family. Hopefully that will translate to them as well. Um

Eddy: Yeah absolutely. And the fact that you and Pony are able to like work together as like parents and business partners. I think that sets a really good example as well for children that, you know, um, it's, it's got nothing to do with gender. It's just like people doing what they do best and working together with their skills to create an outcome.

Mimsy: Yeah. It's quite awesome for business Biz and Lula because there are no gender roles in our relationship. Um, apart from doing the washing Pony does all of that. But yeah. Um, no we don't. Yeah. Pony has always been the Mr mom, like he ever since they were little kids, he was the one who took them to a kindy every day and hung out with the other moms and he joined the PNC. I was never on the PNC. He became the ah treasurer, I think he was of the PNC when they're in primary school and used to hang out with the other moms. And, um, uh, when my kids were really young, um, my daughter got sick and he decided, uh, we both decided that I would go to work tattooing and that he would look after my daughter. Um, so that was a role reversal because he was full time dad, you know, I was full time work, but he was still working in the business as well. Um, so yeah, that, that was a bit of a role reversal at the time. Um, I think things have changed a lot now in the world, and there's a lot more dads doing that nowadays.

Eddy: Which is amazing.

Mimsy: It's amazing. And there's no need for that. You know this. It's the ebb and flow, you know, cause one day the balance could change. It doesn't matter. Male, female. It's just about the partnership and helping each other out.

Eddy: Absolutely. Like that's the rule. My husband and I have, it's just like, you know, if I've worked a longer day, he does more of the house stuff and vice versa. Like we always try to meet each other equally and contribute equally to our lives as a whole. But it's never like a fight or an argument. It's just like you do what your part because you're a human and like nothing else matters apart from making sure that your lives run easily.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yeah. Well. You're very lucky too, because you've got an amazing partner as well, so

Eddy: He's lovely.

Mimsy: I mean, I can't really see it working any other way, and I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have that. I suppose really, to me, it just seems like the norm. I don't really see gender roles or, you know, I don't really see any of that in my, in my world.

Eddy: Yeah. I think we're really lucky, like I think especially now in the world we're in where we can just focus more on being humans and on creating equity and not focusing on all that like bullshit that we've been programmed with and just be nice, have a good life.

Mimsy: I hope so. And it's interesting because you know, you've put together this amazing, um, movement with the, Not Just A Girl, you know, starting with the flash day and now this podcast. Um, so, but yeah, for me personally, it's, I feel weird about it because I just don't see it. Like I, I guess I'm just in my bubble and it always shocks me when I meet or see people on TV or anything like that who don't have, you know, gender equality, I suppose. So

Eddy: Yeah. We are very, very privileged to be in our little bubble where we are treated with respect and where we're safe and yeah, I think

Mimsy: That is a very good point.

Eddy: Yeah. I think, you know. Sometimes like that's because that's what we create for ourselves. Like, you know, we do have the privilege of creating that. Not everyone does, but you know, for myself, I don't allow toxicity into my life because I'm not going to have anything that's going to affect me negatively or get in the way of what I need to do. And for me, my focus is producing art and being happy. So like that's everything in my life is centered around making that happen in a positive way.

Mimsy: You're a very amazing role model when it comes to, uh, yeah the self-awareness like that. And I think you are really inspiring. And I wonder what's led you to, to that path and having such a clear vision of, um, of what you, what your beliefs are as well.

Eddy: Well, I've got a, I've got a strong, I got a very strong mom who like from a very young age, was just like you never accept anything less than what you feel you deserve. If you treat other people with kindness and you don't hurt other people, you have a right to like be respected, to be treated with kindness in return and just like respect yourself enough to demand what you deserve. And that was like the biggest thing and taking responsibility for everything you do and feel as a human like cause once you take responsibility then everything else kind of gets a bit easier to cope with. I think so. I'm very, very lucky that my mother is so strong and has set me up to a point where I can maybe try to do good for others in return.

Mimsy: Amazing. Thank you Eddy's mum, you created a beautiful human

Eddy: Big Don. Um. Yeah. Anyway, we got, we got totally off the topic, but that was lovely. I love mom.

Mimsy: I'm sorry I do that.

Eddy: It was mother's day yesterday, so happy mother's day for yesterday, by the way.

Mimsy: I got Kmart vouchers, so I'm stoked

Eddy: Awww, Kmart. Didn't you do a Kmart flash sheet one time?

Mimsy: Yeah I did

Eddy: I love um with your work, how it's just like, there's a lot of humor in it. Like there's a lot of like sarcasm and irony and like you're always kind of, even though you know, not overly like outspoken about lots of different things, you can always like just get like little hints of humor and like ideas and opinions in your work. But it's in a really like cute and easy to digest way.

Mimsy: Thank you for noticing that. That means a lot to me. Um, what can I say about that? That's my way of coping, I suppose. Um, yeah. I've never been, I've tried being a little bit of an activist about certain things over the years that I feel strongly about. Um, but I do feel like artists, um, if any, actually anyone who has an audience has a vehicle to affect people.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: I don't want to say that I have a responsibility to, cause I don't, I don't know about that. But I do feel like, you know, if, if I've got an audience, like it's, it's not much, but I have a few people following me on Instagram or you know, anyone looking at the piece of paper in front of them, you know, if I can make them think a certain way that's what it's all about to me. I just want to affect people somehow. Like when I go, see, when I go to the cinema and I see a movie, I want to come out of there feeling something. I don't care what it is. I just want to feel something. So yeah, to me, I want people to look at my art and if it makes them have just a little bit of a smile, just even a little bit, I'm like, fuck yeah or something, or sad or anything. I just want people to feel something. That's what, that's what gives me joy, I suppose.

Eddy: I think. I mean, having a message is inherent in our work. Like you said, anyone who's got an audience, it's just inherent part of it. Even if it's not what you're trying to do, you're still, even if you're not putting a message out there on purpose, it still is impacting people and influencing people in a way. But I think, yeah, your stuff definitely has that happiness, like that joy in it. Like, you know, you did a cute little vegan flash sheet cause I know that veganism is something really important to you. And at first you're like, Oh, it's just so cute. All these cute little things. And then you look at it again, you're like, Oh, it's like a vegan thing. I'm like, Oh yeah, like, and then it kind of gets that conversation going about those things and those thought processes, which is really good.

Mimsy: I like to sucker punch people, you know like do just yeah like, just shock people a little bit. If you can just do the juxtapose of things or, yeah. You look at something and think, Oh, that's so beautiful, but then if you look closer, it's actually really disturbing.

Eddy: Like your little COVID drawings you're putting up at the start of isolation I was losing my shit over that.

Mimsy: We're all fucked. You got, I mean, if you don't laugh, you cry right.

Eddy: Absolutely

Mimsy: Kind of a helpless feeling where you just got to go, Oh, well, I'm just going to do something completely fucking ridiculous because who cares anyway?

Eddy: Yeah. I think it's cool to let go of that idea of like worrying about what people think and just do something fun and ridiculous because that's what's going to lead you to something more impactful anyway.

Mimsy: Yes. It's hard sometimes to let yourself or to, yeah. To get your head around that. Um, but that's, to me, that would be the ultimate goal as an artist, is just to never have a design brief and just take, take things too far as you could and further because you're creating it. There's no, I mean, I'm talking about, you know, like not necessarily tattooing because I guess there are constraints, but you've got the ability to make something look like it's flying or, um, I dunno anything, take, take it as far as you can. If that's what you want to do, you're not confined by anything. So

Eddy: Yeah, we don't have restrictions with artists really. Like when we're creating work for ourselves.

Mimsy: That's the dream.

Eddy: Yeah. That's what I feel like, like for those of us who are privileged in this situation, to be able to get like welfare or whatever and live comfortably and not have too many stresses, you know, we can explore those things and like a lot of the people I've spoken to a realize that, Oh, Hey, after this I can actually make time for my art because I realized how important it is in my life and process. And so like coming into this new world after, you know, COVID or whatever, we can still tattoo but we can still have time for art and be a more full version of ourselves.

Mimsy: I don't know how I'm going to have time to do it all. Honestly, I, I'm scared. Yeah. I don't know. It's going to be so weird trying to fit tattooing back into my life.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Because yeah, I'm going to have to start slowly I think

Eddy: Definitely cause I mean making art is in itself is a pretty big job.

Mimsy: Yeah. It's definitely a mental sort of a thing that's always there, isn't it? It's just always there.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: The responsibility yeah I'm not saying it's bad it's just, you know

Eddy: It's different

Mimsy: Probably been good for everyone to have a little break, right?

Eddy: Yeah, I think so. I've really enjoyed it, actually, like aspects of it, obviously. But yeah, it's, it's nice to like not be boss for a bit and just be another person who can't tattoo.

Mimsy: Yeah, yeah. Well we're all, we're all in the same boat, aren't we? Everyone's. Yeah. Um, I can't remember what I was going to ask. You can ask me something cause I forgot what I was going to say.

Eddy: Well, um one of the, one of the things like. Like, I've always wondered about, like, you know, with your studio, like Trailer Trash, it's so iconic. Um, you know, I remember when I first started tattooing, and I think even before when I was going to conventions, you know, your trailer was always the highlight you had your pink sparkly trailer, the grass, like the fake grass, the little white picket fence, the pink flamingos everywhere. Everything was just like so fun. And it's literally the only thing I remember about conventions, like the Trailer Trash thing and it was the same when I came to visit your studio when it was at Archerfield airport, like just how cute it is. Like is that, was that always the plan to have this like studio that's literally a whole other world and experience. Or it, is that just something that came about naturally, like, yeah, I've always wondered about that.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I think it's a bit of both, to be honest. Um, I'd always wanted a fifties caravan, like obsessively, I needed a fifties caravan and I had one, I had a couple, and then I spent, I realized, I mean, I love. I love that era and I loved the caravan and I love tattooing. Hello.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Hello. Just makes sense. Right? It was like, Oh my God, this it's in front of me like this. This is what I'm meant to do.

Eddy: It's such a perfect fit

Mimsy: I was so excited. And then the name, I mean, I don't even know if it's very politically correct, but to me the name, um, Trailer Trash Tattoos represented, uh, the idea of this is what I am, take it or leave it. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I just do me. I do trailer trash, tattoos. Like, I just, I just do like, sorry, I can't be this fine artist that you want probably it's just who I am. So it was like, I'm just putting myself out there. The way that I am, take it or leave it. Um, so yeah, when, when I got the trailer and I realized that, and then I found out that I could legally do it, um, that was pretty exciting. Uh, my dream at that point was to tattoo in the trailer full time. Um, and then my dream was to actually own a trailer park

Eddy: That's amazing

Mimsy: where it was all. I know that was my dream. So then when I started, um, when I opened the Archerfield studio, we found a warehouse, as you may remember, cause you worked there. Um, I want, I wanted a warehouse. And to set up a trailer park in the warehouse.

Eddy: It's so good

Mimsy: And so my, the only way I could do that financially was I had three three fifties trailers in the warehouse. Um, but then I realized it's not really very comfortable and no, no other artist is gonna want to do that. So there was a mezzanine level and I wanted that to overlook the trailer park. That was my dream. I wanted like a panoramic view looking down on the trailer park that was in the warehouse. But of course the reality was the window that we could cut into that wall was only so big. It wasn't, yeah. It wasn't a panoramic

Eddy: You could still see the trailer park.

Mimsy: You could. So in my mind it was this, you know, trailer park in a warehouse and I tattooed in the trailer, and then I had people tattooing on the mezzanine as well. And it was the whole yeah step into my world. Like a, like a museum, like a fifties trailer park um, all set up. And I'd be all dressed up and it'd be just the full experience. Yeah. Cause you can right, there's. Well, like who's to tell you what you can and can't do, except for the government? Of course,

Eddy: They love to tell you what you can and can't do.

Mimsy: So there was that restriction. So to be honest, that's, that's where my mindset was at it was just like, wow, I'm going to do this ridiculous thing. And of course the reality was it got whittled down to the you know, three caravans in a warehouse

Eddy: It's still worked. It's still had its impact.

Mimsy: Yeah. It was. We Pony and I, like I was saying before, we took things as far as we could, it was completely impractical. Um, yeah. And we lasted I think we were there for five or six years, which is insane, because it was in the middle of nowhere. It was literally in the middle of nowhere. It was ridiculous, and somehow, I don't know how we attracted all these incredible guests artists like yourself, and I could name 20 other artists. They will all, they all want it to be a part of this from the start they wanted a piece of this ridiculousness.

Eddy: It's so good though. I feel like it's become a part of Australian tattoo history though. Like just this crazy other world that you created.

Mimsy: I hope so but I have to admit it's gotten harder now that we're it's gotten harder for me to preserve that part of myself, but I hope to go back to it in some way.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Yeah. It's not all written. The books aren't closed on that because there's possibility there could be a reinvention, some point in my career.

Eddy: I look forward to seeing that. But it's cool that you're able to just like go with the flow and just work with what you're given as well. Like, you know, you're in a beautiful building now, although you guys haven't had the best year with the fire and everything, but yeah, like you still always got a beautiful space to work with.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, we, when we moved there, which is in Annerly, which is about 15 minutes from Brisbane CBD, um, we were actually looking for a space that was a street shop. Uh, of course, Pony and I got led carried away by our hearts when we found this old Queenslander building and we'd moved into that space, which is where we are now. Um, so it wasn't really the plan, but to be honest, the reason we, you know, I've evolved in that direction is because of my workmates. I haven't really, um, worked with anyone who particularly really wanted to be in my kawaii bubble. I don't even know if there is anyone else in the world that would want to, because its a bit weird in there.

Eddy: You're in a world of your own.

Mimsy: The idea. Right. So the idea with this evolution of trailer trash is to include everyone. So not I, you know, not, it's not all pink and sparkly and whatever. The studio, it's more inclusive and for all, for everyone's clients as well. It's still beautiful. And my room that I work in is still pink, but the idea behind this evolution was to respect everyone that I work with in the way that I represent the studio.

Eddy: Yeah. That's so beautiful. And that's like, I think a really good example for other studios to follow that you know, it's important to be inclusive and not just like focus on your own ideas, but include everyone you work with because that creates more diversity and invites more people into the space.

Mimsy: Yeah, I always want, um, the people that I get to work with, I always want them to have their own space to create as well. I think that's really important. Even if it's only a wall or a couple of walls or a corner, everyone needs to be able to express themselves cause we're artists. Um, that's, that's how I feel. Um, so we're really lucky. Even though we did have like you were saying that you have bad luck at the beginning of the year with with our fire. Um. We're really lucky that now we have a space where a Swazi and Alegra and I all have our own room, and then we have a whole downstairs level as well. So there's heaps of space for us now, which is going to become really handy because we're all gonna have COVID safe.

Eddy: Hmm.

Mimsy: Plans going forward. So that's going to be handy for us, even though, like you said, we did experience some bad luck. Um, on the flip side, the positive is now that the studio is being renovated again after the fire, a lot of us can have our room and we've heaps of space to spread out.

Eddy: That's awesome. And you've got such a good team to work with as well. You've always got the most incredible lineup of artists at your studio.

Mimsy: Yeah, we're very lucky. We're very lucky, but also probably not just luck. Um, I'm pretty, how would you say, yeah, I'm pretty full on when it comes to two first impressions and also it takes quite a lot for me to completely trust someone. So when I put someone on full time, you know that I think that they're worthy cause I'm not mucking around. I'm 43 I've been tattooing for over 20 years. If you're, you're not going to take things seriously, or you know, be a good person is the main thing.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: That's number one.

Eddy: Absolutely

Mimsy: I'm not muckin I'm just not mucking around.

Eddy: Yeah, that's, that's good though. You go to set boundaries. I do the same here. Like my most important thing is that the person is a kind person who's inclusive and thoughtful and respectful. And then after that it's their work and how they treat their customer. And then, you know, like a whole array of other things. But everyone has to be able to work together or not at all.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a tricky balance, but we do it.

Eddy: It can be hard managing tattooers egos, cause we've all got them, whether we like to admit it or not. But

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I have to say that's probably the secret of the success of the current crew that I have is that there's really not much of that at all.

Eddy: That's amazing.

Mimsy: That's just out the window, like were all just nerds or you know, just social dysfunctional people. Like they're just, there is just no ego in our studio at the moment. It's really easy to go to work every day, and I love that feeling when you just, you feel like you could go in your pajamas and no one would bat an eyelid. Do you know what I mean?

Eddy: That's the best

Mimsy: Just noone cares, all we care about is the tattooing. You know, and just looking at what each other does. And, um, yeah, that's, that's all we care about is that, that's our connection with each other. Yeah.

Eddy: I love that. When you're in a studio where everyone's looking at each other's work and enjoying each other's work, that's just like, that's the best feeling ever.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, we, weirdly enough, another great thing that came out of the fire that we had is that we all had to move downstairs. So there were, I think there was seven of us, or eight of us. Sorry, I'm really bad at remembering. We were all tattooing sort of in the same space and really closely. And I'll, cause usually I'm upstairs in my own room, so was Chantelle and Alegra and Swazi, but we all converged downstairs for a few months. And um it really bonded us. But now we're separating again cause when we're ready to be apart again

Eddy: I think customers enjoy it too when there's, um, a good relationship between the tattooers like, it makes them feel more comfortable and safe to come in as well. And like, you know, whether another tattooer comes up to them and goes, I really love the tattoo you've just got a really like enforces for them that, Oh yeah, I did, I made the right decision with this life changing thing that I've just done to my body.

Mimsy: They love it. And also you might be able to relate to this. Um, the upstairs level of trailer trash is all girls and it didn't intend to be that way. It just evolved that way and it's been so great, like a lot of our, well, not just female customers. A lot of our customers just feel so relaxed and just, yeah. I mean, there was no ego anyway, but there's definitely no ego when you're. I don't know, it's been, it's been so good and just so easy.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Do you have any comments on that? Is that a tricky subject?

Eddy: No, like I think it does change the dynamic. Like I, in the last year I was at STR, I worked with two guys or three guys, sorry, who were amazing and there wasn't any issues with them at all. Like I absolutely loved working with them, but then when I came and opened FLT, I had no intention of like hiring only like female identifying people. But that's just what happened. And even though I loved working with these boys, working with just the girls for a while, it was actually like really a welcome change. Like again, I don't judge people on their gender or anything like that, but it just was different. Like, you know being able to come to work and not really worry about what I was wearing, how I looked. I could talk about menstruating and like PMS and all of those things that I felt awkward talking in front of other people about. But then suddenly it was just like everything's on the table. And then it was like there were no walls anymore.

Like talking about all kinds of personal things, like there's no such thing as too much information anymore. We're just so comfortable. And that made our customers more comfortable as well. And so even though now we've got Paul working with us, I'm like, it still hasn't changed. Like he's just fit into that, that thing like that, I guess new vibe where it's just all about being yourself, being comfortable, being honest and not competing, not trying to have this like weird bravado or anything like that. And it's made work coming to work so much more pleasant.

Mimsy: Hmm. Amazing. And it is a tricky subject though, cause I think you actually used to get asked that a lot before you had, is it Paul before you had, yeah, it is a tricky subject. And like I was saying, to be honest, it was really refreshing going back downstairs and working with all the guys again as well. Yeah, I'm the same. It doesn't matter. I don't care. It's your personality that the clincher it doesn't matter. But

Eddy: People really grasp onto it though. Like we were always like, Oh, you're the girl shop, aren't you? And I'd just be like, no, we're the tattoo shop, we happen to identify as women, but we are tattooers. Tattooers first and foremost. None of the other stuff matters. But people would really like get funny about it. Like we had one guy who canceled, um, a full day appointment when he found out there was no men here because he didn't he didn't feel comfortable being tattooed when there were no men around.

Mimsy: Whoa.

Eddy: Yeah. And we had,

Mimsy: I don't know, I mean, I guess he can't judge like can you, cause maybe that's a valid feeling that someone has.

Eddy: Yes, It's really interesting that like that toxic masculinity, that that idea of like he could not trust women to do as good a job as as men. And cause the way he worded it, that's what it had actually come down to. Like, I do find that I've had a few incidents like that where it's like, people were shocked that like, you know, they would often ask me if my husband was running the studio with me. Like as if I couldn't do it without a man behind me. Or like, I dunno, like, well I'm safe in my world and I'm not judged on based on my gender, I'm only judged on my abilities. You know, it's interesting people who are outside my little social circle coming in and being like, Oh, why aren't they boys here? Like, you know, it's a different tattoos shop, it's just a tattoo shop. You know? No one questions, whether it's okay for a woman to go and get tattoed at a shop where only men are working, but then we would always be like, Oh, what are men allowed to get tattooed at your shop because there's only a female tattooers. And I'm like ofcourse everyone is welcome here. You're all safe. You're all welcome. Please come. But please treat us with respect to, but yeah

Mimsy: I know that feeling really well, but I guess I'm kind of shocked that that is still happening so much. When I started tattooing, because I was only 20 so I looked like I was 10 I was so young. But then people that walked in the shop I think it was probably women too, probably. Um, yeah. They wouldn't take me seriously. That'd be like, Oh, I was one of the guys here

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: To talk to. That was a combination of me being female and young, so I get, I get the inexperienced thing. Yeah. I'm a bit shocked that that's still a thing. I don't, I don't really come across it anymore myself, but I wonder if that's just because I just, I mean, you're the same though. I just have a zero patience for that at all, and I think I put that vibe out there so strongly because I've been in the industry so long, I'm really confident with people who are going to act like that and I just, they just don't last very long around me, I suppose.

Eddy: I think the way that we come across on social media, we attract the kind of customers who are going to treat us with respect. Like. I think when they take a look at our work or our social media or whatever, like they know that they're not going to get away with that. You know, like on my bio, it's hashtag feminist, you know, so they know that it's not going to fly here, but it's see and that's where I can't tell if it's happening less or it's just that I'm not attracting those kinds of clientele anymore. But like, I remember the first time I really noticed the difference. Like I always knew that, you know, I was always asked if I was the receptionist and all that, but I remember one time I went to a customer with a design and they were like, this is terrible. I want this and this and this changed. And I explained to them from a technical point of view why these things wouldn't work as a tattoo and what we would do instead and what their options were. They were like, no. No, I want what I want. And then my colleague, um, Drew came over and repeated exactly what I said, and they were like, Oh, yeah. And he just turned around and he was like, what the hell, yup, that's what it's like.

Mimsy: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure it probably still. Yeah. I mean, let's, let's get into it. I feel like the tattoo industry is still, females are still very underrepresented. Um, in this industry. So I suppose that's kind of related, it's all, it's all connected, isn't it?

Eddy: Yeah. That's why I wanted to do this because I've been in isolation. I've been listening to podcasts, and there's some amazing podcast out there that I've really enjoyed, like tattoo themed ones. But the vast majority of the people who were being spoken to are white cis-het men. Like they're just. It's bro culture and I can't relate to that, and it's great that they've got a platform, but we would also like a platform.

Mimsy: Yeah. Thank you, Eddy. That's awesome. It's always been something that's really bothered me in this industry. I remember the first tattoo convention I went to. They had a press conference, um, at the beginning of it, which is weird. I didn't know they did that. They had a panel and there was media there and stuff, and there were 10 people on the panel representing the tattoo convention, not a single female on the panel. And I just was watching this thinking, there's nothing for me here. I this. Yeah. And anyway, even now. It really irks me. There's so many things, like, you know, art shows, for example, to tattoo art shows that, and they're not, they're not like um meant to be a particular thing, but you'll see a lineup of 40 artists tattoo artist and maybe there's one more two females on there. I mean, what's with that?

Eddy: Yeah. It's like you've got your token woman to shut them up.

Mimsy: Yeah

Eddy: But yeah,

Mimsy: I mean, if you have to go out of your way and represent fairly, if you don't know any female tattooers that you can invite, you know, if, if your circle of friends is all male and you're organizing this art show or whatever. Well guard or some trouble and get some more females on there. Like why wouldn't you?

Eddy: Yeah

Mimsy: It's just weird. It's weird to me.

Eddy: We need to be more inclusive. Like it's the only way to make people feel more comfortable and safe. And I think as well, like the more inclusive we strive to be, the less we're going to see issues with abuse and stuff in the tattoo community be that of artists or clients.

Mimsy: Oh, that sounds, that sounds like a can of worms that I don't know about.

Eddy: Yeah. Let's not go down that route. But yeah. But I feel like there are some conventions. Like going back to the convention thing, like there are some where they're trying to be more inclusive. Like, like we both love the New Zealand. Um, tattoo and art festival, cause that does I as a woman there, I don't feel objectified. And same as Literary Ink, um, in Chattanooga in Tennessee. Like that was one, it was probably the most inclusive and safe convention I've ever seen in my life.

Mimsy: Wow. It looks amazing. Okay, so cool. Yeah. I've never thought about feeling objectified, but maybe that's because I'm usually like in like with my trailer all trashed up. Maybe I objectify myself in some weird way. So I don't know.

Eddy: You're in your little bubble.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. The pendulum has swung so far on one side, for all of humanity

Eddy: Yep

Mimsy: If it swings a little bit too much this way for a while. That's the way it's meant to be maybe so that seeing things can come back here.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: But if it has to swing a bit this way for women for a while. It's because it's swung that way.

Eddy: Yeah. I think that's the only way to achieve true equity anyway. Like you can't just suddenly turn around after years of like you know, inequality and oppression and whatnot, and just be like, okay, now we're going to treat everyone equally. No, you've got to like first raise women up raise trans and non binary people up and give everyone an equal footing to then start from and to go from there and yeah. That's, I'm seeing more and more groups generally, but in tattooing where they actually fighting for space and for a platform to say, no, I'm going to be heard from now on.

Mimsy: Wow. Sounds amazing.

Eddy: It does let's hope that like, you know, in, in 20 years time, like people coming into the industry are all treated with much more kindness and equality and not mistaken for a receptionist.

Mimsy: It's hard to imagine what the tattoo industry would be like in 20 years time, isn't it?

Eddy: Yeah. Well, I guess that would be a good. A good question to finish on, like what would you like want to impart on future tattooers or even like people recently coming into the industry, like from your 20 years of experience and seeing things change so much, like what would you love to see people bringing into it moving forward.

Mimsy: Well, firstly, I guess I have to comment that my 20 years is a drop in the ocean. I feel like I'm only half way to earning some kind of a respect as being like a, you know, uh whatever, whatever you want to think of it. Um, because I look up to tattooers who've been tattooing for 50 40 50 years, and they're the people who I go, wow, you know, you've paved the way. So I don't feel like 20 years is anything, but anyway, what would I, what would I impart.

Just, yeah. Just to respect the people who've, who've gone before you and to, to understand that. And, uh, it's, I can't, I can't relate to the newer generations. I just can't because I, yeah I didn't even have a mobile phone until I was 25. Like I'd already been tattooing five years, so there was no Google or anything like that. It's really hard for me to relate to the younger generations or people who are coming into tattooing, but I guess, you know what it just comes down to is just be passionate about it. Just be obsessed with it and love it. Otherwise. Just don't bother, um

Eddy: It's almost like it's almost like a kick in the kick in the back or something when they don't love it.

Mimsy: Well, yeah, you mean the, I, I'm not don't want to judge anyone, but I just think if you, if you love and are passionate enough about something. Then you will research it properly and treat it with, with the care that it deserves. This craft that has been handed down person to person needs to be kept and treated really carefully and gently and, um, with respect. And that could be, that could mean so many things. But I dunno, I just stay connected and um, yeah, it's, stay connected to you to your pencil and your paper as well, and not just your iPad maybe as well. Um,

Eddy: You do get a disconnect with the iPad, I think, like I was using iPad almost exclusively for about a year. Like I just kind of eventually slowly went over to that and then in isolation started sketching in my sketchbook again and it was just like, I guess this cause it's so much more tactile and there's like a transfer of energy or something and just the feeling of the tooth of the paper under your pencil. There's something special about that that we should definitely never lose.

Mimsy: Well, don't get me started on the iPad. All it's done is confused my brain. I've got one, I think it was probably just over a year ago, and what has happened to me is exactly what I thought would happen. Now I'm just stuck in like a limbo between two worlds because you're right. I feel like you need to just work on the iPad for a long time to master it or to be any good at it. Um, to just dabble in it like I really can hardly do anything on it, but if I'm on the iPad for a prolonged amount of time I'm so disconnected from painting and drawing. That's really hard to get back into that.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: So to do, to do both is really hard and confusing.

Eddy: Yeah. I think there's definitely a place for both, but I think it's, if it's possible, like not losing a connection with just pencil and paper, I think will help people and their art making so much more.

Mimsy: I guess so, but I would never want anyone to feel like I'm judgy or like have a preconceived idea of what an artist should be either.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: You write your own book when it comes to that. But, um, I guess I can only just say from my own sort of perspective, maybe that's my advice to myself. I don't know if I can give anyone any advice that would, that would seem like I'm some kind of a, um yeah like, like, I know what I'm doing.

Eddy: We're all just like chickens with our heads chopped off, running around trying to figure shit out.

Mimsy: Pretty much.

Eddy: Oh, it's been so good talking to you.

Mimsy: Thank you Eddy. It's been great. Even just to see your face and have a chat too. Cause you know, I don't really talk to many people nowadays.

Eddy: I think the last time I saw you was in New Zealand last year.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, we'll see if it's on again this year. Were you booked to go?

Eddy: Yeah, I was, I was going to take, um, some of the crew as well this time and

Mimsy: It was going to be November. But yeah, I mean, I think we'll be lucky if it is on hey.

Eddy: Yeah. If not, it'll happen again.

Mimsy: Um I was meant to be tattooing in Melbourne last weekend too, so I'm wondering, yeah, I'm wondering if our borders will reopen, but I don't want them to reopen until it's safe though.

Eddy: Yeah. Exactly. It's like, you know, part of you is like desperate to be able to travel and do all the things you used to do, but then you kind of like people safety is actually more important right now.

Mimsy: Yeah, I'm not, I'd rather just stay here in my office and paint everyday, I feel bad cause I've still got, you know, deposits from 20 people who have booked in with me in Melbourne. So it's just, that's how, that's why I feel bad and I'm going to get down there

Eddy: Yeah, you'll get there eventually.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for including me in your amazing podcast, and I wish you all success in the world with this Eddy. It's a really great way to reinvent, um, the Not Just A Girl concept. Um, and you know, I'm really grateful that we ha, you know, in Australia we have you as our icon for. For that, and you really are, you really become that for us and you, you become a real leader and someone who inspires. Um, and that's really important and just, I have to say you're really brave as well for doing that. Um

Eddy: I just feel like I'm doing what I need to do. Like, just want to uplift other, other women, other people, like just want to do my bit to make tattooing happier and safer.

Mimsy: It's amazing that you feel that calling and that you're acting on it because that does take a lot of bravery to physically go out and do something about it. And you know, we owe you a lot for that, so thank you.

Eddy: Oh, I don't think so. See, I feel like, you know, it's women like you paving the way, like inspiring, you know, my generation to tattoo is like, we owe you all our gratitude.

Mimsy: Well, thank you. And I love you too.

Eddy: Well, um, just to our listeners, if you'd like to, um, check out the footage, you can see our YouTube channel. Um, you can follow us on Instagram at Not Just A Girl underscore Tattoo for regular updates. Um, in the show notes, I'll link all of Mimsy's details and Trailer Trash details so that you can see their wonderful work. Um, please subscribe, follow and share and help spread the love of tattooing. Huge thank you to the wonderful Mimsy for joining us today and sharing your story. Um, yeah. Like I really appreciate you coming on and I really appreciate everyone for listening. So thank you so much. I love you Mimsy

Mimsy: Love you, thank you, stay cute.

[ootori-sibs]

Kyoya's second shot

Episode three: Return of the bully

"What are you doing here?"

"I'd like to request Tamaki."

The twins paused, sharing a glance before looking at the girl once more. "You're blacklisted, remember?"

"No I'm not." She crossed her arms, looked like he'd have to step in.

Kyoya was at the twins side almost instantly, book in hand. "She was blacklisted last year yes, but this year she's done no wrong. You remember Tamaki's philosophy don't you?" He glances down at the twins, watching them frown and shrug, wandering around.

"The boss is weird, we don't trust her." They left to return to their post, disagreeing but conceding.

Kyoya looks down at Seika, his gaze crueller then she could ever manage. "Just tell him your banishment has expired, he'd be happy to welcome you back."

"Using Tamaki's philosophies against him?" She raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you a manipulative little homo~."

"Our agreement shall not be spoken of here, keep to yourself, princess." Kyoya gives a fake bow, gesturing towards Tamaki's table. "Have fun."

She approached Tamaki's table, Kyoya sighed and went to sit down, staring at the numbers on the screen. He glanced around for a moment before taking out his phone.

Shadow king: Eclair, have you spoken to that woman yet?

Woman: No, I've been busy. I don't see why I should talk to her when you're not even dating Rene yet.

Child: Who?

Woman: You'd know him as Tamaki.

Child: ah

Shadow king: It won't take that long, and convincing that dreadful woman will.

Woman: Ugh, at least get some progress done before you start hounding me you bitch.

Bitchboy: Speaking of which, my article is ready to print.

Shadow king: Send me a PDF.

An email arrived in Kyoya's inbox, with a link to a pdf file. He opened it, scanning down the page with a critical eye, opening a seperate application in order to edit it. No basic spell check, at least this fool knew how to spell and use grammar. But Kyoya did need to edit out most parts that painted gays in a bad light, making the story focus more on Haruhi and Renge and less on the fact that they're both women. He even attached an image of the duo holding hands, knowing full well that holding hands can often be platonic, but the girls at this school are basic, and will do anything to believe a scandal. He sent an email back, with the new link, and sent a message to the chat.

Shadow king: Post it.

At lunch, Haruhi complained that her new phone had none of her photos, she was sad to have lost all those memories. Kyoya had to sympathise with her there, he'd sort of assumed she used the cloud. Then her complaints changed when she realised her lunch box was missing from her bag- it had been stolen. As expected, Tamaki instantly rushed to her side, promising to buy her lunch for today, and she agreed, apologising as they left the club room. Huh. Tamaki didn't ask Kyoya to join today…

But it was ok, he was alone now. He made his way to Tamaki's bag, it contained two cards, Tamaki's own money, and the club's budget. Kyoya had the details memorised of course, that wasn't why he needed it. He quickly snuck over, and slipped the card into Haruhi's wallet, next to her own. He smiled cruelly, ready to play his part. He'd spent all night thinking about what he would actually do in that situation, so he's more than prepared for his starring role. Of course he'd prefer to not have the starring role, but he is the one who's in charge of finances, he has to react like he actually would.

He sits back down at the table, he needs a reason to ask for the card… he looks on his laptop, finding a little cafe in town that sold custom food platters, entirely customizable… oh, Tamaki did suggest a commoner food theme, maybe a customized platter for each host would be a good idea, and he and Tamaki could even go in person. Oh it was all coming together now! Kyoya had wanted to try some new makeup things, he'd mostly been doing the same face every day, it wasn't exactly catching any eyes by the second week. He should do something special for their day out.

Kyoya was practically bouncing in his chair, clicking his pen as fast as possible when he heard the door quick, scrambling to look busy, and normal. The other hosts entered the room, getting to their seats and doing the usual finishing touches to their appearances before the door opened. Kyoya watches Tamaki comb his hair carefully, his hair almost sparkling in the light. He called over to the king, "Tamaki! Get over here, I want to show you something."

Tamaki hurried over, leaning over Kyoya's shoulder. "What is it mon ami?" He looked at the screen, then glancing to Kyoya. Kyoya smiles softly, switching his window to the website of the little commoner store he'd found.

"Remember when you mentioned that commoner food theme? We could get customised platters for each host?" He suggested the idea, looking at Tamaki closely for his reaction. Tamaki's face lit up, clearly finding the idea a good one.

"Ooh that's perfect! Weldone Kyoya!" He pats Kyoya on the head gently, condescending but oh did it make Kyoya feel actually proud. Funny how that works. "We can all go! A club day out!" Ah. Kyoya's moment of joy evaporated at the king's words, he definitely didn't want that… but Tamaki seemed to notice how Kyoya defeated, looking at him in slight worry. "Is something wrong?"

"Well…" he started, sighing when he realised how stupid it sounded, "I'm sorry Tamaki, I was under the impression we would go alone, it does seem like a more behind the scenes type action as opposed to something we want everyone there for." He wasn't sure exactly what he was saying, he just definitely didn't want to spend time with all the hosts outside of school, that would almost definitely overwhelm him.

Luckily, Tamaki seemed to understand, he smiled, nodding. "Oh of course! It's been so long since I've spent some good quality time with my bestest friend in the entire world." He chuckles and hugs Kyoya, pressing his cheek against Kyoya's face. Said shadow king's face was heating up, feeling a pit drop at the word friend, but feeling still proud to be Tamaki's favourite person, he can ignore Haruhi's existence for a second for bliss.

"If we're going in person," Kyoya began, knowing exactly what his lines were, "you should probably get the club credit card out of wherever you've hidden it." He looked up at Tamaki, watching the recognition spark on the king's face.

"Oh! It's just in my bag, I never take it out." He hurried over, searching through his bag, Kyoya's phone had vibrated so he checked it.

Bitchboy: We're having trouble with the printer, it should be fixed by tomorrow?

Shadow king: Alright, post it tomorrow then.

He looked back over at Tamaki, smiling when he saw the colour drain from the monarch's face. "It's gone!" This caused all the other hosts to look over at him, he looked around at all of them in turn. "The club's card! The one with access to all the club funds! It's gone missing!"

Time for Kyoya's starring roll, his eyes widened, and he spun around in his seat as fast as he could. "What do you mean it's missing? How idiotic to you have to be to loose the club's money!?" His words, or at least the way he'd said them, seemed to spark panic in the other hosts, if Kyoya was worried then surely they should be too.

"Where did you last have it??"

"Doesn't Kyo-chan handle the money?"

"Did you check again?"

Words from the hosts echoed around the room, everyone was sent into a bit of a tizzy. Only shutting up when Mori speaks, quietly, but speaking nonetheless. "Calm down, check your bags and pockets, it may have been dropped and picked up by someone else." Oh, he was a voice of reason, when he managed to find that voice. Kyoya might be head over heels for Tamaki but he can't help but admit that that voice makes him a little weak at the knees.

The hosts do as he tells them to, searching through bags and pockets, Kyoya does so only to keep suspicion away from himself. He was listening for it, he knew it was coming, "oh…" and there it was. He glanced over, to see Haruhi holding the little card, and looking extremely confused. Kyoya got to his feet and was by her side in an instant, plucking the card from her fingers, face contorting into a look of disgust, one he'd cleverly practiced all night.

"So you're a thief now too?" His voice was cruel, and if any of the hosts weren't looking before, they were now. Haruhi looked up at her, eyes widening by the second. "I know you live in squalor but please, don't take us for fools."

"Wh- what?? Senpai, you know I wouldn't do that! I'm not a thief!" Clear panic on her face as she glanced around, realising that Kyoya's word ranked above her own. Kyoya knew this too, but he also knew the other hosts adored Haruhi completely, so time to take a better tone.

His voice sunk into sounding hurt, he was in charge of the money of course, but he was still a friend. "Haruhi please, you don't have to lie to us. You know if you needed money, you could have asked Tamaki, he'd be more than willing- as would most of the others." He glanced to the side, the others were nodding, Tamaki looked hurt as he rushed to her side.

"Are you ok Haruhi?? Is anyone threatening you into paying them money? If you're having troubles we can help you! We would always help you!!" He clasped her hands in his own, eye full of sadness and pity.

"Senpai… I really don't know how the card got into my bag I promise, I wouldn't steal from you guys…" She looked slightly annoyed, but it was clear there was panic behind her eyes. Kyoya was about to say something more, put another nail in her coffin- when the twins spoke up.

"Maybe it was princess Ayanokoji, she loves to bully Haruhi." They spoke in unison, frowning, hands tilted just a little. They weren't wrong, they just didn't quite get it, they were close though, and that scared Kyoya.

"Oh yes," Tamaki stood up, his pondering clear, "she recently told me her blacklisting had expired…" He looked at Kyoya, with eyes that unwittingly make the shadow king's hands shake, "was that something we wrote into the rulebook?"

Kyoya swallowed dryly, nodding once. "Yes," he gestured vaguely, "you said something about redemption and growth whilst we were discussing the club back in the planning stage, so I wrote it into the rules. I'm surprised you don't remember." Yes, that was a good idea, put the spotlight on Tamaki, what kind of a king doesn't remember his own rules.

The twins spoke again, "there's a rulebook?" They frowned at Kyoya, ugh, idiots.

"I gave everyone a copy when you first joined, the big binded file? With the colour coded ribbon?" It was true that he had given everyone a rulebook, and he was quite insulted they couldn't remember, he'd spent a whole week on those.

"Oooh," Hikaru began, a look of recognition on both faces as Kaoru finished, "yeah we threw that out." Kyoya was incredibly angry at that, but simply turned to go and sit down, clicking his pen in a more negative manner, he couldn't lose his temper, he couldn't lose his cool. Not right now.

14:25 - the card was found in Haruhi's wallet, the twins saved her. They don't care one bit for any effort I had put into the rule book, it seems my efforts are an expectation for them.

"That wasn't a very nice thing for you to do, Kyoya had worked hard on those rulebooks. I watched him bind those folders himself, there was glue everywhere!" He could hear Tamaki scold the twins for him, feeling a little better for all Tamaki cared.

"I never got a rulebook when I joined senpai?" Haruhi spoke, clearly sounding slightly shaken.

"Oh!" Tamaki exclaimed, clicking his fingers, he didn't even need to say anything else, Kyoya knew what to do.

"...I'll send you a pdf." He said flatly, going through his google drive, he was going to have to make an edit or two…

Halfway through the session, a sound was heard. Kyoya glanced over to see Tamaki coughing and spluttering, from what little he heard, it seemed Haruhi had put salt in his coffee, or rather Seika had switched the sugar for salt, he knew this was true by her smirk as she watched Tamaki scold Haruhi for being so out of it today. To Kyoya's surprise, Haruhi actually sounded stressed out when she responded. When the session ended she didn't stay behind to help clear up, she just grabbed her bag and hurried off to class.

Tamaki sighed, "I'm worried about her… she's so out of it, I wonder if she's feeling alright."

"She got caught stealing," Kyoya began, not meeting the king's eyes, "only got saved by the twins, got scolded for screwing up something as simple as coffee and didn't even bother to help clear up? Sounds to me like she's trying to spite you for something."

Tamaki paused, looking at Kyoya in clear interest, Kyoya refused to let Tamaki peer behind the curtain like he had so often done. "Are you mad at her? Do you really think that?" Oh great, he'd done it. Once again, Kyoya was angry at this man being able to see straight through him.

"Well, she did try and steal our hard earned funds, you can forgive me for being on edge." It wasn't a question, he wasn't asking to be forgiven, and Tamaki knew that. But Tamaki didn't care, he just sighed. Kyoya didn't stop, "it seems to be like there's something else on her mind, something opposing you." He didn't want to mention Renge, cause he feared that might lead Tamaki to realise he had something to do with the upcoming news.

Tamaki frowned, looking genuinely worried, "she has been distant lately…" Oh, and there was the sound of Kyoya's heart breaking, as much as this was his goal, he hated seeing his love in pain. He sighed, putting his laptop down, throwing his own pain away.

"Hey, I'm sure it's fine Tamaki, even if she is hurting you, you are so far above her, it's only natural she'd seek to lash out." He smiles softly, taking Tamaki's hand in his own. "You've got nothing to fear."

"So… you're saying she's lashing out because she feels inferior?" Tamaki tilted his head slightly, looking confused, Kyoya sighed, sure, that was close enough, he nodded. Tamaki frowned, "oh… she shouldn't, I should think of something to cheer her up. Perhaps I'll take her on a date this weekend!"

"Not before our day out?" Kyoya frowned, hating the outcome of this situation, becoming confused when Tamaki chuckled.

"Oh of course not Kyoya, don't worry." The king smiled, reaching up and ruffling Kyoya's hair. "I missed spending time with you, even if you can be a little demanding at times."

Kyoya had to chuckle at that, feeling reassured that Tamaki was still going to prioritize him. "You're one to talk, remember when we first met?" He didn't even need to elaborate to have Tamaki laughing, knowing full of what Kyoya had referred to.

There wasn't a hosting session at the end of the day, there'd been too many accidents that Tamaki had decided to hold an impromptu meeting. Haruhi was late, so where the twins but that was irrelevant. Kyoya frowned as she walked in, crossing her arms. "A thief and a truant? Are you planning on playing the delinquent this year?"

"Shut the hell up Kyoya!" Hikaru snapped at him, causing Kyoya to all but squeak in alarm, he hadn't been expecting resistance. "She's being bullied if you hadn't noticed, and your stupid comments aren't fucking helping!" Kyoya glanced around the table, it seemed he'd gone a little far, but no one cared about what he'd said, in fact he was being completely ignored in favour of their precious Haruhi being bullied.

"You're being bullied??" Tamaki stood, looking so very worried. "What happened?"

Haruhi didn't say anything in response, choosing only to sigh. It was Kaoru who spoke up, "someone spray painted on the window outside the classroom, essentially calling her a gay whore."

"Oh ouch." Wait shit, did he say that outloud? The other hosts were looking at him, at least they'd stopped ignoring him?

"Yeah…" Kaoru began, letting Hikaru finish, "we stayed with her to talk to the teacher."

Haruhi went to sit down, burying her face in her hands. "I just want to go home and take a nap…" God, Kyoya hadn't expected to feel for her, but Ayanokoji had gone way too far, this was disgusting.

Shadow king: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??

A GAY WH*RE? DID YOU REALLY FUCKING CALL HER A GAY WH*RE?

Child: cranky cause you're also a gay whore aren't you?

Shadow king: You're like 13 shut the fuck up.

Woman#2: You told me to make her life hell, that's what I did.

"It's ok Haruhi, you can leave if you want…" Tamaki started, frowning, eyes full of sadness. But he paused, looking down at Kyoya, "who are you texting?" Uh oh.

Kyoya spoke plainly, not letting the other's see his eyes behind his glasses. "I'm putting Seika Ayanokoji back onto the blacklist, at least until she proves it wasn't her." He pauses, noticing how Tamaki appears to approve. "I will also have a talk with her about why she was removed from the blacklist, and how she can get back off of it."

"Hm, good idea Kyoya." Tamaki nods in approval before turning back to Haruhi and going to hold her, she lets him for once, but doesn't reciprocate.

Shadow king: I've put you back on the blacklist for the time being, the hosts are on to you.

Woman#2: But our agreement???

Shadow king: Is only valid if you're actually useful.

So try being useful.

Everything but the graffiti was alright.

And don't forget the school has cameras.

Woman#2: Don't be such a baby.

Shadow king: Don't be so insolent.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. Tamaki glanced at him, clearly on edge, and Kyoya decides this silence is too unbearable to stand. "Well, I think this meeting has been enlightening. But I'm sure we're all tired, so, Tamaki?" He didn't have the power to dismiss the hosts, but he had the power to ask Tamaki to do so.

And who was Tamaki to refuse him? The king nodded, sighing and curling a lock of Haruhi's hair in his fingers. "Of course, you're all dismissed, you may leave if you wish."

Most of the hosts got up and left, mumbling condolences to Haruhi as they did so. Kyoya began slowly packing his stuff away, he could feel Haruhi's eyes were on him. He didn't feel shame, only pity. He stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He glanced down at Haruhi, "I hope you have a better day tomorrow," he spoke curtly, almost mocking her in a roundabout way, but genuinely meaning that, the news story won't affect her nearly as much as the graffiti, and at least she'd get a reprieve.

Shadow king: Before I forget, don't go after her tomorrow, the article will be enough.

Woman#2: So much for making her life hell, you coward.