#maya to any older men that show even a hint compassion to her: i diagnose you with father figure

[trashbinbackyard]

in which my two faves interact

Navigating the streets of Nia Vasileos as a cat was easy. They were simply everywhere and generally nobody paid attention to them other than the occasional coo and scratch on the head. Walking the narrow alleyways and climbing the ladders to the rooftops were easy. Frankly the cat form offered a lot. Nia Vasileos was built on the bones of the old empire of Thani, not a place she was too familiar with even during the first age; she and Lucas preferred the wild lands of the south.

Maya was no stranger to the city, but every time she’s been here was undercover, either of darkness or an animal form. Lucien and Viessa had set up a base in the Pera district, a bunch of aristocrats and other rich people inhabited the area, and would not look kindly on her. On the hill at the very tip of the crescent that was the city, in their high homes they would look down upon the city, mere mud in their shoes.

It wasn’t so different from the grand cities of the first age. She never liked them, the great cities, too many people, too much noise. If she walked around without hiding herself, people would stare at her, the bright hair, out of place clothes and ears larger than those of an elf.

Her kind had gone all forgotten since the first age, and the feeling of loneliness during the second age was even more intense than it used to be. Sure she had Lucien and Viessa to turn to, but they had grown really close, and she felt like she was intruding more often than not. And then there was Dimos, who was more of a shadow than a man, and not great company. But she had a matter she needed Viessa’s aid on, so bothering her and Lucien it is.

She climbed a fire escape ladder to the very top of the house they lived in, dropping her cat form as she made it. Opening the latch on the skylight was much easier with opposable thumbs. It was very handy when she needed to get in unnoticed, in the middle of the night or when the Harrows were out doing their own thing. The house was theirs, but they had let her know she can come and go as she likes. Viessa had conjured up a whole room just for her so she could have her own spot and a place to keep most of her belongings when she doesn’t need them.

She opened the skylight just enough for her to slip through and drop herself on a stairway railing. Balancing on it she carefully let the skylight down so it wouldn’t break or make a noise. She stood on the railing and peeked down, still on the third floor, no new floors had appeared. She stayed still and listened for signs of anyone being home. No rustling of books or pens from Viessa’s library, no thumps or groans of Lucien working out. She did hear the pitter patter of the tressym that had invited itself to stay there.

With no one home, she hopped off the railing to the very first floor, gracefully breaking the fall with a roll. The metal clasps of her armor and the bag she carried with many trinkets inside jingled as she hit the marble floor. She took a step towards the hallway that led to her own room, where she could wait for either of the elves to come back. 

Seems like she wouldn’t need to wait long, as the hairs on her neck raised and she quickly took a step to the right.

A shimmering orange dagger made of pure energy flew past her ear as she narrowly dodged it. The blade was incorporeal in nature, and it disappeared from the air before hitting anything. A soulknife, not for cutting, but definitely for hurting.

“Sharp as always Maya”, she heard Lucien’s familiar voice behind her

“I wouldn’t have to be if you stopped chucking those things around”, she sneered, as she turned her head enough to meet his gaze. Still she couldn’t help but let the grin she was holding back appear on her face.

With a step backwards and fast high kick to the man’s chest, she made Lucien lose his balance, sending him stumbling down the hallway. It was all in good fun, they often smacked each other around. While Lucien was adept with most weapons he couldn’t keep up with Maya hand-to-hand.

“Oof, good one,” he breathed out as he reached out to the wall and steadied himself, “what brings you here this time?”

“Does it have to be something, as I remember it, you lot said I could come and go as I please. What if I’m just picking some stuff up and dropping some in return”, she shrugged her shoulders and resumed walking towards her room.

“Because you hate the city and wouldn’t venture here if you didn’t need something more specific.”

It was true. She would rather avoid the city if it was up to her. She’d be hibernating somewhere down south, away from the reach of mortals or immortals alike. But Lucas… or the being that once was Lucas needed her. Something about preventing some unfortunate soul from finding something of great value and great capacity for harm. She wasn’t sure where to look for it, so that’s where Viessa comes into the picture. She could get its location with even a vague description, or if she couldn’t, there was bound to be something in her library to point her to the right direction. It was their pact, they could call on her for aid and she could rely on them to help her out in turn.

“So what can we do?” Lucien continued as he followed her close behind, “Well what can I do, Viessa’s out for the whole day, she’ll be back gods know when”.

“Well, not much, I need Viessa. Unless you want to learn a completely new set of skills.” 

“You wound me.”

Maya pushed the door of her room open with her foot, hoisting her bag ready to dump all its contents to the floor. Her room looked like her, wild and messy. She had refused a bed in favor of a mattress on the floor where she could pile on pillows and blankets for a makeshift nest. Heavy earth toned curtains hung from the ceiling, giving the room some warmth and softness. The cabinet lining an entire wall was filled with little trinkets, bones, feathers, jewelry, anything she had found on her time away and found interesting enough to bring back here.

On the floor were rugs of woven fabrics and pelts, a couple stones and a spare set of armor she had left lying around. She turned her bag upside down and another batch of small curiosities dropped on the floor with a clatter. She gave the stuff a kick, enough to clear a path towards her bed. Being barefoot she would need to be careful stepping around, and she couldn’t be bothered to organize her haul just yet. But she did have something for Lucien. She picked up a small black bead from the pile.

“Last time I was here you said you had a necromancer getting a little too close to the truth of your nature, so I tracked them down and took care of it. They had a talisman they used to conjure undead to fight back, but I knew those things are better to destroy. But they also had this-” she presented the bead on the palm of her hand, “It somehow protected them, deflecting my blows until I managed to overpower them. Could be useful to you”.

“Well I won’t say no to that,” Luciens picked the bead from her hand and held it up to the window so the sun would shine through it. It was somewhat translucent, and inside was a cloud of dark smoke that swirled. Hollow obsidian, not rare by any means, and material very easily imbued with all sorts of magic. 

He continued: “Looks like a shadow pearl, I’ve heard of them. Can do much more than just protect when used to their full potential. This is a great find.”

“You can have it.”

He slipped the bead into his chest pocket and gave it a tap for good measure.

“I actually have something for you as well, came across it some weeks ago.”

“Oh?” She perked up, Lucien wasn’t often just handing things out without some ulterior motive.

He snapped his fingers and a dusty book appeared in his other hand. It wasn’t thick like most books she had seen lying around the place, the binding was loose and looked like it could unravel at any time. The pages were yellow and bent as the covers couldn’t press them neatly together. A layer of dirt on the front cover hid most of the text she recognised as Asayan, a language that hasn’t been spoken in many centuries.

She took the book from him and gave the cover a quick wipe to see the full title of the work. A brief history of the later Asayan kingdom. She carefully opened it, knowing full well these types of books were extremely fragile and they were more than likely to fall apart at the slightest mistouch.

She did a quick read of several pages and she flipped through it. Catching names and years and locations she recognized from her lived experience.

“This is about Ivor’s time.” She muttered quietly. Nayden’s son, considered to be the first king of the later half of Asaya’s existence. The book would make a mention of Nayden as well, and Ivor’s children, and their children, all whom she had met. Well, meet is a strong word for it, that would call for mutual recognition, she had seen them, was very familiar with them in fact. Aside from Ivor, none of them knew she even existed, never got to know she knew their ancestor. She was cast aside, from the people of her land and history itself.

“What is this supposed to mean? Remember the times you were nothing? Was part of nothing? When you were destined to be forever unknown to everyone around you?” She said in disbelief. The more she read, the more unwelcome feelings started to bubble in her chest. She was there for all of it, yet she was naught but a whisper in the wind.

She continued in a tone mocking him, as she grasped at the thought in her head: “Back when you were so special but no one could know of you. Back when you were just Lucas’ pup, abandoned by everyone else. Is that what you’re trying to tell me with this?”

He was perplexed by her sudden change in mood. He had thought the book would be something to reminisce over.

“You don’t like it?” He was genuinely trying to understand where she was coming from.

“I already know all this! I’ve lived it! I don’t need some text to remind me of all of it. I don’t want to know how insignificant I was, still am, to this world, where I’m supposed to be one of the most powerful beings out there that no one even knows of! What’s the point?!” her voice raised with every sentence.

She dropped the book on the floor and kicked it towards the door.

“I’ve already told you. We’re not meant to be remembered. Imagine the harm that could come our way if we were known. You’ve hunted down just as many bad and power hungry people who caught a whiff of some ancient power far beyond their understanding. We do it to protect them as well as ourselves.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t be remembered at all! They don’t need to know what we are to remember us!”

“Too many people are looking for threads to connect into wild theories already without us meddling in. It’s part of our duty to not let anyone know. What do you think would happen if people read about a pink haired girl of a race that no longer exists from different centuries? They would start connecting the dots really fast.”

It was his authoritative voice coming out. He’d had this conversation with everyone in their little group, Maya included. It was he who had come to the conclusion that in order to play their part, they needed to not make waves, not push anyone’s actions into a desirable direction. They could aid mortals in their quests, but never intervene should their choices backfire. It was like a game, they could cheer or comment from the sidelines, but the resolution is never theirs to choose. It was what Deanoh demanded of him. In order to play their parts, lest they become hunted for their power, is to stay hidden from the public, and that means no history would ever be written of them. They would be legends, folk stories, omens, but never anything concrete.

“I get my gesture is not what you wanted, but sometimes holding something physical from your life before can help you ground yourself,” he tried to explain.

“This is not what I came here for, an impromptu lecture on what we need to be or do. You and Viessa have each other, you do your thing as diligently as you want, coo about the things past as much as you want, because you got to experience it with someone you get to actually remember. I, on the other hand, will be somewhere far away, covered in a layer of dirt so I can forget this whole world exists, as the world forgets I exist, so I can be at peace for a little while before I’m called again to do some meaningless fetch job for an entity that is no longer the one I knew.”

“Maya, that’s not-”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.” She stood up on her toes, trying to close the height gap that made her feel even smaller in the moment. 

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Shut up!” She snapped finally. Her eyes burning hot and piercing Lucien’s. 

She stepped away from him and collapsed on her bed. She brought her knees up to her chest, suddenly wanting to feel hidden.

She was not the type to put up a fight against her friends. For the longest time ever since she was a little girl from a nothing family, from a nothing island, she would just bow her head and do as she was told. She didn’t know any better back then, that she could make her own choices. She loved Nayden, and Sharni, Wane, Brianne, everyone, surely they wouldn’t lead her wrong. And they all left her when they had something better going on. It hurt of course, but she bore her sadness with a smile on her face. She met with them ever so often, but they had moved on from the life they shared with her.

Lucas was the only constant in her life since then. He was supposed to look after her. And in a way he did. It was the wrong way, but he tried. When he ended up bringing her back from the dead, she took to her new reality the only way she knew how to, graciously. But as the centuries went on and Lucas was called to other things, she came to realize that she shouldn’t have just accepted her new reality.

Lucien was older and smarter than her. He had fought the crippling loneliness and feelings of lacking purpose way before she was even born. He knew what he was talking about most of the time. So why did she feel like he was in the wrong now. He clearly appreciated thinking of the past, holding it close to his heart and making sure the people he knew won’t go forgotten like he did. He had made peace with it, and perhaps in a way it was comforting for him to think about all the things he’s lost.

She was lucky someone had gone through this before her. She would have no idea how to even begin to untangle the mess that is her thoughts. Lucien had gone through his own journey, on his own, and came to a conclusion that he was satisfied with, and he was just saying things that made sense to him. But she needed a different approach. She was sure he had gone over this with Viessa as well, but they were much closer, and he could guide her to something that made sense to her more easily.

For the first time they’ve known each other, Maya was sure Lucien was lost for words. The silence between them was heavy. As she sat, her eyes darted between Lucien and the book that now lay unceremoniously on the floor. It was uncomfortable. She wanted him gone for now, and he was thinking of a way to not leave this conversation on bad air.

He turned his back to her and took careful steps towards her cabinet where he picked up wolf tooth to fiddle with. He thought for a while how to verbally approach her. He kept his back turned to her to not come across as confrontational when he spoke up once more.

“I get that your circumstance is different from mine, and that you want a different meaning for it all, why you’re still here,” he started, inspecting the smooth surface of the large canine tooth, was it hers or Lucas’?

Maya huffed in response, acknowledging his point but offering no retort. 

“You were made immortal not because of desperation, nor for bargaining with a force far beyond your understanding. You were made immortal out of love. Lucas loved you so much he went against his own creed, the creed of the gods, just to share a few more moments with you.”

He was right, the thing that made Maya mad was how Lucien always noticed the details that matter. 

“And you want other people to know and remember you like Lucas does, to remember you as you were, the girl from the bay of Asaya, who traveled with their king, who brought great joy everywhere she went. But Lucas ruined it. By making you his, unintentionally or not, you’re bound to his will now, and his will is the same as the other gods’: never interfere, no one must know us.”

She stayed silent, her eyes never left her knees as the light from the window got blocked when Lucien kneeled down before her.

“And you’re supposed to be grateful, that someone so special cared for you that much, that you meant so much for him. It’s supposed to bring comfort right? But it doesn’t feel like it, does it?”

She shook her head, her eyes felt prickly from the tears threatening to gather. It had been a long, long time since she last fought with these thoughts. How she resented Lucas for what he did, despite also feeling blessed at times. It was tough, dealing with two contradicting feelings that both are ultimately true. She is supposed to feel blessed and grateful, Lucas did a great deed for her, but the same thing causes her so much pain. She had never felt more lonely.

She mustered up her strength and with a quivering voice she answered: “It doesn’t”

Lucien wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. The gesture would’ve been unthinkable if it was during their own lifetimes, but circumstance had brought them together, and whether they like it or not, had intertwined their lives in a way only they understood.

She wrapped her own arms around and dug her nails into his back as she sobbed into his shoulder. The thick material of his coat absorbed her tears swiftly.

“Will it ever be okay?” She asked in a broken voice.

“I won’t lie, I have no idea”