#max plank

[sheeree]

معهد ماكس بلانك واحد من اهم ٥ معاهد في العالم مختص في الابحاث والعلوم، عمل دراسة عن علاقة الذكاء باللغة، وطبعا اللغة العربية كانت مكتسحة والدراسة اثبتت اللي كنا بنحاول نقوله من سنين ان اللغة العربية هي لغة الحب والشعر والذكاء! الصور اللي طلعت من البحث للمخ اثناء التحدث والتفكير بالعربية مذهلة! لا يمكن مقارنة اللغة العربية بأي لغة تانية على وجه الارض! جدير بالذكر ان في دكتورة اسمها انجيلا فريدريتشي قررت انها تتعلم اللغة العربية بعد ما وصلت لنتايج الابحاث دي مع فريق عملها من اكبر علماء المخ والأعصاب واللغويات، الصورة اللي ممكن تشوفوها بالالوان وشدتها هي انعكاس للروابط العصبية داخل المخ اثناء التفكير بالعربية او التحدث بها، وده اللي مكنش موجود ف اي لغة تانية، العربية لغة الحب والعبقرية ♥️

[grogumaximus]

[f1-obsessed333]

Great and informative thread 👊🏼

[keatxu]

having grown up familiar with ideas like quantum mechanics it's so weird to me when older physicists still talk about determinism as like "well if we knew the position and momentum of every particle etc etc" bc like, that's not how it works???? particles aren't like that??????? like it seems so painfully obvious to me but i guess it isn't if you didn't grow up with the concepts, like in your head particles are still just sneaky little balls bouncing around instead of the weird cloud things existing in multiple states they are accepted to be today

[bylertruther]

you guys really love max/lvmax huh 😳

[ashmp3]

she is just like me 🏋🏼‍♀️🩷🏋🏼‍♀️

[extervus]

Why don't you sit on your porch with a yummy drink in the late morning sun and then maybe you'll calm down

[neverendingford]

.

[keerysfreckles]

so american — MV1 (smau)

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader faceclaim; sabrina carpenter

summary: fans seem to notice y/n's song is about her best friend

warnings: like one curse word, google translated dutch

a/n: i. love. smaus.

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

yourusername just posted !

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 22,187 others

yourusername summer 🌟💐🍪🎀💿🪐🍋🐴 maxverstappen1

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user1 GORGEOUS GIRL!!!!!!

user2 y/n giving us max content during the break 🤞

danielricciardo never doing a 3 minute plank with max again

carlossainz55 save me a cookie 🍪🍪

yourusername ofc 😚

user3 who's still waiting for y/n's debut single

maxverstappen1 will you actually let me help with the cookies next time

yourusername only if you don't spill flour all over my floor again 🤗

maxverstappen1 just posted !

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 670,112 others

maxverstappen1 what an amazing weekend in my home race, got to spend it with some lovely people 💙💙

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user1 TU TU TU TU MAX VERSTAPPEN

user2 is that y/n in his hat in the end????????

lewishamilton pleased to be on the podium with you again lad 🙏🏾

user3 that HAS to be y/n

user4 omg y/n's first race?????

yourusername first time hearing the dutch anthem in person, i get the hype

user5 why can't you guys be happy about max's win? why does everything have to be revolved around y/n (no hate i swear) they've been best friends for years, why all the rumors now?? liked by maxverstappen1

twitter !

yourusername just posted !

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 401,773 others

yourusername who's gonna tell seven year old me SHE'S GOING ON TOUR!!!!!!!!! tickets are on sale tomorrow at 9 am pst 💌

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user1 GOING TO AS MANY SHOWS AS I CAN

user2 no arkansas date 💔💔

landonorris if we're friends do we get free tickets 🤭🤭

yourusername no 🫶🏻 only max

landonorris WHAT

carlossainz55 me and charles are so proud of you y/n ❤️

yourusername 🥹🥹🥹

user3 AWWW LITTLE Y/N 😭😭

user4 tour needs to start RIGHT NOW.

maxverstappen1 🫶🏻

yourusername 🫶🏻

twitter !

yourusername just posted !

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yourusername he laughs at all my jokes and he says i'm so american 💌 maxverstappen1

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user1 I FUCKING KNEW IT

user2 oh to have a love song written abt you by the one and only y/n 😖😖😖😖

danielricciardo you should've seen the smile on his face when he realized the song was about him

yourusername AWW DANNY YOU WENT TO THE SHOW TOO 🥹

danielricciardo me, max, lando, alex and checo went 😁 gotta support our fav girl

user3 the cutest hard launch ever 😭😭

maxverstappen1 time for me to write a song about you liefje

yourusername baby leave the song writing to me, you can do the fast cars thing

alex_albon are you guys our paddock parents

yourusername .....................yes

maxverstappen1 added to their story !

[mijn liefje 💌] (translated; my darling)

[kagesstuff]

Roll for a Feedism Challenge 

Feedee Edition!

Roll a d20 to get your challenge for the day

Original poster cute-feedism-things

1. Breakfast stuffing: get a dozen donuts and eat every last one (if it's Krispy Kreme make it 18). 

2. Worth the weight: hop on the scale and take a picture of the number. Do it again at the end of the day. Share the results (and impress whoever you share it with)

3. Moisturize Me: get comfy, get naked, and get in touch with your body as you slowly lotion every inch of yourself.

4.Consequences: for every 200 steps you take today you need to eat 1000 calories. Be mindful of how much you're moving your body.

5. Planks: set a timer for 3 minutes and get in plank position. Every time you have to pause the timer for a break is another 500 calories you need to eat today (make it 1000 if you're under 200 pounds). 

6. Pizza party: get a large pizza and finish the whole thing (make it 2 if you get thin crust)

7.Low Hanging Fruit: Get on all fours and take a picture. Show someone how low your belly is hanging these days.

8. Self care day: get comfy and surround yourself with your favorite snacks. Relax today and graze while doing all your favorite low effort activities.

9. Probable pounds: Roll 2d4. You need to weigh that much more (in pounds) before you stop eating tonight.

10. Empty calories: get at least 2500 calories from drinks today (you're probably going to want a milkshake or 2).

11. Extra large thighs… I mean fries: treat yourself to your favorite fast food and make sure it's over 5000 calories (it's okay if that means you need to treat yourself for 2 meals, you deserve it)

12. Find your max: count calories and stuff yourself until you physically can't anymore. That's your max. If you've already done this once, make sure to beat your last score.

13. Quiet contemplation: turn off all media and set a timer for 10 minutes. I want you to lay down, get comfy, close your eyes and just spend this time exploring your body. Has it gotten bigger? Softer? Where do you feel most sensitive?

14. Touch yourself while you stuff yourself: get in touch with your hedonistic side by masturbating while you eat. Don't cum until you've had at least 2000 calories.

15. The best shape you'll ever be in: do as many situps or pushups (your choice) as you can. Subtract that number from 20 and then multiply by 500. That's your calorie goal for today (if it's a negative, multiply by -1 and add 2000 calories)

16.Just Desserts: in addition to your normal meals today, you're going to eat at least 2500 calories of desserts. 

17. Cupcake game: find your favorite piece of feedist porn/fic/etc. Every time you start getting turned on, eat a cupcake. No touching yourself until you've finished all of them. (This works best with longer stories/videos)

18.This still fits: put on your tightest clothes that still “fit” (you can actually get them on your body) and take a picture from whatever angle makes you look fattest. Post it if you feel comfy or share with someone privately.

19. It's about the process: cook your favorite recipe and eat the whole thing for one meal. The dishes can be future-you’s problem. Just enjoy yourself for now.

20. Double trouble: Roll 2 more times and do both!

Let the games begin

Wanna play a game 😋

[chachavroomvroom]

2023’s Top Ten Chaotic Moments of the F1 Season (in no particular order)

The De Vries ➡️ Ricciardo ➡️ Lawson ➡️ Ricciardo musical chairs

The Mclaren boys getting their laptimes deleted live on camera post Qatar Quali under the befuddled eyes of George Russell 🧍‍♂️

George’s T-pose, Estie’s slayful catwalk and Charles’ soulful longing look in the F1 intro 💃

Charles’ triple threat of DNF/DNS/DSQ in one season 🥲

Several broken trophies this year (starting with the one Lando sent to the shadow realms with his champagne pop) 🍾

Max smacking that RBR sticker on Charles, shaking him around and then turning to the camera like 😀

Mika Häkkinen’s gift of prophecy: the man said McLaren would suddenly become competitive and we laughed at him 👁️

The stressed pairs of Merc/Ferrari guys being summoned to the stewards about the planks in Austin and showing up with the power of a piece of paper and a vape 💨

So many inter-teams padel dates?? 🎾

Perez’s Japan run: crashed, changed wing, got a penalty, crashed again, changed wing again, retired, unretired, served his penalty and retired again 🪦

Honourable mentions 🥈 :

Carlos illegitimate child rumour one hot afternoon on f1twt

Dany Ric sniped by that flying tyre in lap 1 of Brazil despite not being involved in the accident

Vegas Hunger Games opening ceremony

Seb’s bee corner

1644 mood collaborative insta post after joint DSQ in COTA

A lot of James Vowles thirst on the TL

Charles Leclerc, known non-believer, plans a pilgrimage to Lourdes to get rid of his curse

Lance falling off wet stairs

Nando being a tik tok celebrity

Dishonourable mentions :

Qatar heat

Vegas drain cover

Piastri being a punching bag on wheels for other drivers for a few races straight

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

We should be best friends too Lando X Fem reader

Summary: Y/n is Pietra's best friend, she considers Max to be a nice guy, but who she really can't stand is Max's best friend, Lando. At Max's birthday party, Pietra asks just one thing, an easy, fun night, but with Y/N and Lando in the same room, this is almost impossible.

Warnings: Bad words and alcohol.

Word Count: 15K Notes: I suck at second parts, so I'm taking my time with the pt2 of "Playing with fire". In the meantime, here's something new. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks for all your comments,

__________________________

"He's coming, isn't he?"

"Y/n, it's Max's best friend, please, please, please, no fights tonight"

"He's the one that always started them!"

"And you were amazing at going along instead of being the grownup and letting it go"

"Excuse me, who's your best friend?!"

"You, but please, just tonight, can you be extra patient with Lando?"

"I'll try"

Pietra had been dating Max for a year now, and it took four months for you to hate Lando. Almost every night you were together ended with a fight between you two. _____________________________

"Hey Mate, happy birthday!" You didn't need to turn to look at the door to recognize the voice owner. You sighed in annoyance.

"Friend of yours, I assume?" the guy standing in front of you, and whom you had been flirting with for the last hour, said with a sarcastic smile.

"Best friend" you rolled your eyes.

To keep your promise to Pietra you tried to stay away from Lando as much as possible and focus on the cute guy in front of you.

____________________________

"Let me get you a refill" Your date took the glass from your hand.

"Thanks"

"My pleasure" he winked at you and then leaned in to place a soft, quick peck on your lips. So far, the night seemed to be going better than expected, no interactions with Lando, and sex with a cute guy was coming your way.

"Isn't he a gentleman?!" His mocking voice was even more annoying.

You took a deep breath before turning around to face Lando.

"Fuck you"

"What's with the cursing? I was just making a statement, you seem to have great taste in men"

"Wish I could say the same about your date" You threw a quick glance toward the blond girl who had been all over Lando for the last 45 minutes, she had done nothing to you but you already disliked her and the childlike way she was giggling with her friends, probably talking about him.

"Ouch"

"Just move and stay away from..." you tried to walk past him but your stupid heel got caught on the carpet. Everything happened so fast. The Brit caught you mid-air, his arms around your waist as your hands fell on his torso, his black shirt was unbuttoned at the top, so your hand was against his skin.

"You ok?" You could have sworn you heard concern in his voice.

The tight grip on your waist and the feeling of his warm skin under your hand seemed to be a little too much for your alcohol-intoxicated brain to voice out a response, so you just nodded.

"If you wanted to cup a feel you could've just asked, you know you have a free pass"

And there he was again, the annoying self-centered prick.

"Please, don't flatter yourself, I would choose planking face first on the floor over this, any day." You pushed him hard, trying to shake away the feeling of his touch.

“And hurt that gorgeous face of yours?” His finger softly traced your cheek, down to your chin, but you pulled away “I would never let that happen. Also, I’ve been told my arms are nice and cozy.” He crossed his arms over his chest, making them seem even bigger.

“Too bad they are attached to a huge self-centered piece of shit like you!”

"Wow" Max's voice startled you. You had said that last phrase as the music changed from one song to another, so every person in the room had heard you, including the cute guy, who was now standing a couple steps away, staring at you.

"Y/n" the disappointed look on your best friend's face broke your heart a little.

"I'm sorry, P." You walked past Lando, took your bag, and left the flat.

A couple tears streamed down your face, falling on your cell screen as you searched for an Uber to take you home.

"Fuck!" you mouthed when the No cars Available text appeared on your screen. You closed the app and opened it again, wishing for a miracle. It was almost 2 am on a Tuesday, and getting an Uber in the middle of the suburbs was a nightmare, you walked to the end of the street, praying that from there, it would be easier to get a car, but again, nothing.

You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, trying to ease the tears, but the frustration and embarrassment were too strong.

A couple minutes later a car stopped right in front of you, from the engine sound it was a sports car, and you knew exactly who it belonged to. The driver's door opened, and you heard him walk towards you.

"Y/n" his voice was low.

"Go away" You didn't turn to look at him, your eyes were probably bloodshot from the tears, and you've had enough humiliation for one night. You opened the Uber app again to keep your sight down.

"Y/n, I'll take you home, come on" He walked to the passenger door and opened it.

"I'd rather crawl there" You answered bluntly.

Like a cruel joke, a sudden gust of wind blew against your body, and goosebumps covered your skin, it was unusually cold for July. As you walked to the threshold of the building, searching for some shelter, the bottoms of your feet reminded you of the heels you were wearing, if you dared to walk back home you might have to do it barefoot.

"Unless you're planning on going back inside, or a car has magically appear on the app..."

"How could I walk back inside there?" You cut him off "I just made a complete fool of myself because of you!" You finally turned to see him as a couple of tears threatened to fall from your eyes again. He looked down at the floor, he seemed embarrassed.

"Then please get in the car, I'll take you home...you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to" He offered you his hand.

You stared at him, he seemed honest and embarrassed. You hated yourself, the puppy eyes were actually working?

"Please, P and Max would kill me if I let you go home alone."

You sighed loudly and walked towards the car. You ignored his stretched-out hand, trying to make a statement, that you were doing it against your will.

As you got inside the car his scent hit you hard, you always claimed he used way too much cologne, but now it seemed nice, warm, almost pleasant, maybe finally being out of the cold was playing tricks on your mind.

The sound of his door shutting pulled you back from your thoughts.

When the car didn't move, you turned to look at him to find him staring back at you.

"What?" you asked in a low voice.

"The seatbelt" he answered as if it was obvious.

"Oh" you turned to pull on it as he started the car and drove away.

It was a quiet drive. From time to time, you discretely turned to look at Lando, whom you always thought was one of those annoying guys with sports cars that would find every little chance to show off, but he seemed to be a decent driver.

Your phone vibrated in your bag.

Pietra💗: Are you ok?

Y/n: Yes, I'm on my way home, I'm so sorry P 😔

Pietra 💗: Don't worry about it, Lando picked you up? He said he was going out to look for you.

Y/n: Yes 😒

Pietra 💗: Good, let me know when you get home, please don't kill him, he's truly embarrassed about how he behaved.

Y/n: Can't promise anything

"Pietra?"

"Yes" You answered without taking your eyes off the phone screen.

"Good to know I have witnesses in case I go missing" He looked at you with a mischievous grin as if you were great friends and this was an inside joke.

You turned to look at him, your face anything but friendly. Why was he acting like you were there because you were friends and not because he had been an asshole?

"Oook" He said in a low whisper and kept his attention on the road.

A few minutes later you heard a breathy laugh from the driver.

"What now?" You asked, breaking the silence.

"You look like a chihuahua"

"Excuse me?"

"You're trembling so much. Maybe you should have worn something more clothy" He stared down at your outfit, black shorts, a lacey bralette, and a matching black blazer.

"I was supposed to spend the night inside a flat"

"But you decided to throw a tantrum like a five-year-old and run out"

"It was all your fault! If you had stayed away from me, right now I would've been with..." You cut yourself off.

"With Mr. Charming?" He turned to look at you. "You just met him tonight." His tone was filled with judgment.

"Why do you care?" You turned to look at him with a raised brow. For some reason, the question threw him off balance, it was nice to be on the other end of the jokes and the messing around.

"Do you want me to care?" He turned to look at you when he stopped at a red light, your winning punch was short-lived.

"Pff, please." You were about to turn away when a sudden movement caught your attention. He turned his body towards you and his hand went behind your headrest. He stared at you deeply, and you stared back. What was he doing? He slowly moved towards you, and your breath quickened as you felt your body get warmer, why was he getting closer? Your mind screamed to move away, but your body didn't move an inch.

Your breath got caught in your throat when he was just inches away from your face.

"Here, put this on before you freeze" he whispered lowly, pulling a hoodie from behind your seat, his breath warmly caressing your blushing face. You stared at him confused.

"What?" He asked, a cocky grin on his face.

"Fuck you"

"If only I had a swear jar." He placed the hoodie on your lap and put the car in movement when the light changed to green.

You contemplated throwing the hoodie back to him, but the cold was teeth chattering, so you got it on. The smell of his cologne intensified, and it felt... it felt nice. You hated how much you seemed to like it. Maybe he had changed colognes, usually, you would find it repulsive.

He turned on the radio, that stupid grin still on his face.

You were getting close to your house, a weird feeling in your chest. Was it sadness? Why would you feel sad about getting home?

Suddenly, the car turned towards a Starbucks drive-thru.

"What are you doing?"

"You're still trembling and I'm out of hoodies, maybe coffee will help you get warm"

He got to the speaker and ordered your favorite drink and a hot chocolate for him.

“How did you know?”

“That coffee gets you warm? It’s basic knowledge, I know you think I’m stupid, but I know things, you know?”

“How do you know my coffee order?”

“Oh, umm the weekend you and Pietra stayed at my house in Mónaco I ordered coffee and P told me what you liked”

“It’s been ages since that happened"

“Yeah..." A weird look on his face, as if he had been caught red-handed. He turned to look away as he approached the window to receive the order.

"Here"

You took the warm cup off his hand. Who was this person?

You held the cup close to your body, giving in to the heat.

"Thanks" You smiled back at him.

"No problem" He drove off as you took a sip from the warm, delicious liquid.

"Is it working?"

"It is, it's nice... why are you doing this?"

"I don't want you to get sick"

"Why?"

"Because being sick sucks?"

"Why are you being nice?" You insisted

"I don't get the question"

"You've never been this nice to me. You're usually picking on me and... being annoying"

"I'm not"

"Yes, you are. You're always calling me names, saying I'm spoiled, uptight, a control freak, you also mock the guys I go out with, the music I listen to, the movies I like..."

"Weeeellll, you started with the name calling"

"Me?!"

"Uuh, yes"

“When?!”

“P’s birthday party last year”

“We had only known each other for like a month back then. What could I've done to you? I didn’t even talk to you that day."

“Well, it wasn’t TO me, but it was about me.”

You stared at him confused, and he continued.

“A friend of yours asked if you liked F1 and you said hell naw, they’re just a bunch of nepo babies that only know how to spin a wheel” He tried to mimic your voice. You were about to protest but he was right.

“In my defense, that was a private conversation... and the world does not revolve around you, I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about all the drivers"

“We’ll you were at a public party, and that statement doesn't really help your case"

You stared down at the coffee cup between your hands. This was embarrassing. Was all this feud with him your fault? You could have sworn he had started it, damn! You were a hundred percent sure it was his fault.

“Why do you hate us drivers so much?”

“It’s not you, it’s the sport… my ex was a big fan, and it ended up bad with him so..."

"...the breakup wasn't my fault" you quickly added.

"I didn't think it was" He tried to cover a mocking smile with his chocolate cup.

"Yeah, right" You rolled your eyes as a faint smile sneaked from your lips.

"Well, too bad an idiot made you hate us all"

It was seriously embarrassing, you could've sworn you were over the stupid breakup with Evan, but he seemed to still find ways to ruin your life even in an indirect way.

"I ...I'm sorry"

"That's new" He joked

"Don't make me regret saying that"

"Sorry" His big smile was kind of cute.

"But really, I'm sorry I was mean, I should not have projected my breakup on you"

"Well..." He parked in front of your building and turned off the engine. "I'm sorry I was childish and tried to get you to like me by bullying you, I swear I'm out of my 6-year-old phase"

"You wanted me to like you?"

"Yeah, you're my best mate's girlfriend's best friend, so if we're going to see each other so much, we should be best friends too. Also, you're actually nice, you don't have bad taste in music..."

"And I have a gorgeous face... your words, not mine"

The curly hair bounced as he laughed at your comment, and you could swear you saw him blushing.

"And you have a really, REALLY gorgeous face"

"Thanks" You framed your face with your hands in an exaggerated flirty way. "Sooo, drinking and driving is against the law even if it's nonalcoholic, and your house is far enough for your chocolate to get cold by the time you get there, as a peace offering, do you want to come up and finish our drinks in a warmer place?

"That would be nice" He smiled taking off his seatbelt fast, as if he was already waiting for the invitation.

He opened the car door for you and walked behind you, shielding your body from the cold British air. You had been so focused on hating him that you didn`t realize how polite and funny he was. It was like meeting a completely new person.

The elevator dinged, letting you know you had arrived at your floor. As you were about to walk out Lando grabbed your wrist and pulled you back in, making you clash against his chest, almost dropping your drink. He stared into your eyes, searching for any sign that you were uncomfortable. He must've seen the fire in his eyes reflected on yours, so he leaned in to kiss your lips, and you kissed him back.

The arm that held your cup wrapped around his neck as your free hand went to make a fist with his curls, one of his arms wrapped around your waist, and his free hand went to your neck, his fingers keeping a blood-rushing grip on it.

He broke the kiss and gave a soft bite to your lower lip.

"Sorry, couldn't help it" He sheepishly smiled as his hand moved from your neck to caress your cheek. "The sexual tension was killing me"

The elevator dinged again, and you were back down in the lobby. As the door opened, a young couple got on it. A knowing smile on their faces as they said hello.

You pushed the 7th-floor button again and stepped back against Lando's chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You could see the guy looking at the driver attentively.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, are you Lando Norris?"

"Yes" the Brit answered shyly.

"Damn, big fan, can I take a picture?"

"Sorry mate, I'm with my lady, but I can sign something for you if you want"

"Sure" He took a piece of paper from his wallet as the girl took a pen from her bag. "Thanks so much"

"Sure, mate, thanks for understanding"

The elevator dinged on their floor.

"Don't worry about it, have a good night." The couple exited and you turned to look at Lando as the elevator continued with its journey up.

"Your lady?" You asked with a raised brow.

"It sounds good, doesn't it?" He gave a small peck on your lips.

"I'll have to think about it" The elevator dinged again, and you took his hand, pulling him towards your apartment.

"Wait! Did you do all of this just so you could get inside my pants?" He pulled his shirt together, dramatically covering his chest, as you opened the apartment door.

"You wish." You answered as you pulled him inside.

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

[rookiesbookies]

Please I need more strength kink like you wrote for König but for the text of the COD men. Does Soap show off and lift heavier when he sees you saunter into the gym? Does Ghost try not to pay attention as you stare? I am down bad for these boys

So this is the most recent ask Ive gotten but dont fret my other requesters, yalls are taking more time bc they’re longer form pieces (I dont want to spoil but honeymoon/consummation night with Ghost (doing some research for this one), some Konig wifey bits (there’s two or three), and Ghost’s wife wearing his mask) Im so excited you all are interacting with me I just wanna say. I love you all *MUAH* big kiss.

Also I took Keegan off this one bc I don’t think I have a lot of Keegan fans reading? (ik I love him tho) so if anyone wants it just put a comment and I’ll write one and edit it so its in here.

Edit right here: I put Keegan down at the bottom. Dw Keegan girlies he’s here now.

Another edit: I put Krueger bc a reblog asked for it

Without much more here’s:

Strength Kink with the 141

Masterlist is pinned as always, also let me know if yall want any as full blown fics.

Price

Price is an “old dog” as he calls himself. He knows he’s getting softer, the wrinkles are setting in, he doesn't quite have the body he used to as a LT. Kinda got a dad bod after adopting 3 boys.

First time he sees you drool over him? He is down fucking bad. Will do anything to see his sweet lady all red in the face over him again.

Fucking saunters over to you, hits you with “you can feel if ya like, love. Go on.” just holds his arms away from his chest while he’s in his tank top.

If you take him up on this offer (and I assume yall are dating at this point) and even just grab at a peck, he is tense. His abs are tight, his butt is clenched, he is doing it all to seem like he still has his young and sharp LT body.

He knows you dont care and love his dad bod and all his soft pillowy goodness but sometimes he feels like the pillsbury dough boy.

Absolutely would pick you up and carry you bridal style at any chance.

Tells you he’s “just practicing” however he is very clearly showing off.

If you come find him at the gym to drool all over him, that max he was only supposed to do one of per set, he is not repping.

“John, are you sure- I’ve never seen you lift this much you look red-”

“I'm alright, love, just doing my reps trying to set a new pr.” Little do you know that by repping this, this is his new pr.

Gaz and Soap are sitting there mouth open because Price has never done that and not fallen over and now he just KEEPS. GOING.

And Price’s wife just keeps drooling over him as Simon spots the poor guy.

(This is what i mean btw)

Soap

The worst about it of them all.

I'm telling you right now, if you have an oral fixation on his muscles, he will mate for life like a swan. Because if you mark up his muscles he will do EVERY SINGLE WORK OUT shirtless until Ghost is like “Johnny. You look like a slut and smell like a whore with all that cologne. We’re in the bloody gym.”

He will walk around shirtless in the tightest sweatpants to show off his thighs and abs to you.

Will bench press you.

Put your weight on the hip thrust and will call you over or send videos of him doing it.

If you’re sitting somewhere he will just pick you up and move you for the hell of it under the excuse he wanted to sit there just to see you get red.

If you compliment his body once, I'M TELLING YOU ONE TIME, he will buy the TIGHTEST shirts imaginable around the house to show off his shoulders, back, pecs, biceps, and abs.

If you even mention having a bad day, your face is going between his pecs. He also absolutely can do the thing where he can flex them one at a time and he does it 24/7 for fun.

Catch him planking at the gym?

Feeling bold?Let’s shimmy under the poor bastard to look up at him.

“Do push ups.”

“Bonnie, the fuck you mean-”

“Come down, get a kiss, and go back up?”

“And if I fall? Which I won’t but I gotta ask.”

“Can’t feel any worse than when you dive onto the bed to wake me up in the mornings.”

He’s floored. Goes down, gets his kiss, comes up.

Price has watched Soap do more pushups than he ever has outside of a punishment when he was in basic training. Johnny has half the mind to let himself drop, smoother you in sweaty hugs and kisses. But he doesn’t. Not until he’s shown off. It’s embarrassing how much sweat is dripping from him though. He’ll just say you both need a shower.

Ghost

Totally doesn't flex when he hugs you.

Oh you think he does?

If you ask him, you’re wrong. Simon is the most casual of them all.

He’ll just randomly pick you up.

Like throw you over his shoulder, hold you like a koala, bridal style, you name it. Unlike Price, who is more careful about it, Simon has been doing exercises to work on his balance so he can safely carry you down a flight on stairs.

If he catches you staring, its over for him. He’s blushing under his lil mask, acting like he doesnt see you.

If you walk up and open your mouth to talk to him, he’s not listening to a word of that blabbery. He’s focused on the way you watch his legs while he’s in the leg press. How if he flexes a bit more you have the pause so you don’t choke on your words.

If you’re the bold on and you get down to the level of his head because he can’t easily escape this machine right now to say something. I'm thinking like a “Simon, I’m going to need a thigh riding session at 1800 hours. Put that on your damn schedule.” And just walk out. Don’t elaborate.

He’s struggling to get out of the machine, considering chasing after you, possibly having a stroke over it. He’s so flustered he’s down right gasping for air. If he didn’t have shit to do today he’d scoop you up and show you want all these muscles could do just to get you to feel like how flustered he is.

Konig

(see the fic about his wife seeing him lift, its on my masterlist (its pinned))

Gaz

By the time you’ve started dating, you know Gaz is jacked. Just look at him ffs. Anyone could see it.

So you do the only reasonable thing and insist on being his gym partner.

And in turn he will insist on spotting your squats.

If you get so nervous you fail a set his plan springs into action. Bro has it lifted in one hand. He doesn't care if it's a lot. He WILL be lifting it in one hand just so you can see how strong he is.

“Kiss for your savor?” He asks.

“Sure.” You reply, pecking his lips.

But no no no.

“Love, I meant you’re actual savor.” He’d say, flexing that one arm and pointing to it.

Just roll your eyes and do it. It’s easier.

He is GLOWING for the rest of the day. He will now take any and all opportunities to lift heavy things for you.

That big box? Lifted. Come kiss his muscles. Cuz if you don’t he's picking you up and putting you in air jail for being ungrateful.

I feel like because Gaz is so lean its kinda a sleeper build situation? Could be completely using that term wrong but IDC.

Lowkey loves nothing more than you feeling up his abs under his shirt when yall are going to bed. Like your hands feel so nice on them when he’s flexing extra hard so they’re rock solid for you.

First time yall cuddled he almost passed out because he was trying to keep his muscles flexed for so long.

Edit: here’s Keegan

Keegan

Keegan was always walking around the house in the sluttiest tank tops and the lowest waist line sweatpants you’ve ever seen.

He had been showing off since he first met you, so I’ll tell you how it happened.

What did he wear on your first date? Tight ass t shirt and a leather jacket with black jeans.

He essentially was giving a strip show when he slowly took off that jacket, made sure you were watching when he did it with a smug look.

“What wrong, doll? Distracted?” He was definitely flexing hard. Pecs and biceps on full display and don't get me started on how he was clenching to get his abs to show through.

He made sure to get real close to.

Oh dear is that a dirty puddle, let him just… yk… casually pick you up to carry you over the smallest puddle ever.

And when he’s at the gym? You are getting tons of selfies. Those videos of him curling weights that are slightly too heavy all because he knows you like the sound of the groans he makes as he struggles to lift it. Oh he is hip thrusting your weight and a half, so you know you’ll never be too heavy. There’s a video he sent that was 10+ minutes of just him thrusting your weight. You honestly thought it was looped.

Oh and he carries your weight when he runs on the treadmill so he knows he and run and keep you safe if need be.

Here’s Krueger (i got carried away, enjoy)

Krueger:

Sebstian knows he’s already strong.

Picking you up and benching you is his favorite hobby. The way you can't help but giggle and he has to scold you to stop wiggling.

He’s always throw around his weight with you. He knows he’s a big. He loves to lay on you to stop you from moving.

Loves to have you lay on his torso with the weight at his hips as he works on his hip thrusts. Got kicked out of a gym because it was dangerous so he got weights to do it at home. Will do it shirtless so you can trace his tattoos.

Definitely has never told you he committed murder because he doesn’t want you to stop looking at him like he’s your savior as you rub his sore muscles.

God he loves having you rub his muscles, he just tries not to drool as you rub his calves and biceps with all the force your hands can muster to gently rub the knots away. One time he felt so good he almost cried as you rubbed one out of the back of his neck, he got so bricked he couldnt help it he felt like he was gasping for air the pleasure was so intense.

He’d never tell you that tho, no he’d rather die and speak up and tell you how good it feels when your massage his muscles while planting small kisses after every knot you work out. Definitely going to keep asking you to work his aches away… wonder if he can convince you he has a knot in his dick, no no wouldn’t do that to you not yet.

[chuplayswithfire]

I have more thoughts on how and why the sex was a mistake. I will be thinking about this all week. All year.

Let's start with: the sex was consensual, they both wanted it, and that does not change that it was the wrong decision for their relationship in that moment. They should not have had sex! Ed is 100% correct and he is not running away when he says that! He is not just avoiding his feelings or getting cold feet, he is genuinely correct, and here's why:

They continue to be on different pages. They have not had a chance to talk it through. It's been like 2-3 max since Ed woke up from the Gravy Basket, and emotions are still running high. Even ignoring that they were just tortured in front of each other and that Stede killed a man right after Ed asked him not to, they were not in the same space emotionally regarding their relationship.

Fir one thing: Stede did *not* get his heartbroken (prior to this). He got his romantic affirmation. Season 1 was an entire arc leading to Stede realizing he is gay, that he is in love, that he is loved in return. For him, for HIM, sex is a natural next step, and we already knew he wanted it from how he deepened their kiss in episode 5. Their relationship itself is not a source of trauma for Stede; he loves Ed and he walked away from his old life to be with him, and now he found him again, and they've agreed to do it together, figure things out, his romantic hopes are realized.

And in that moment, adding to that background informations, is that Stede also wanted to avoid all his messy feelings by being physical. He was tortured and he watched Ed and his crew be tortured, he was insulted and had to listen to Ed be insulted, and he wanted to regain control and power by killing Ned Low, and removing the threat. That's where Stede's head is.

Ed, on the other hand, did get his heart broken and while the majority of what he's working through is about his self-hatred, his dissatisfaction with his career, and his desire to find a life that feels worth living, he is also dealing with a significant amount of trust issues with his relationship with Stede, because Stede left him. He has heard from Stede that he loves him, but Ed's deepest fear is that he's unlovable, and he hasn't gotten over that, or his hurt from how things went, in the like two days it's been.

But he loves Stede, and he's attracted to him, and he wants him, so when Stede initiates and manhandles him a bit and things get hot and heavy, he consents. He's all in, carried away by the moment.

And he regrets it.

He especially wasn't ready because Ed is a planner. I know we were all joking about how they definitely weren't going to take it slow and they were going to rush through, but I do genuinely think he meant it. Ed's natural state is as a planner and tactician, everything has an angle for him and even when he wants to just be simple, he always has a bajillion factors in mind that he's juggling, so we can be sure that Ed probably did very much have thoughts about how he wanted their first time to go, and what he wanted them to do and grow into as a relationship before they had sex, and instead they got tortured, Stede killed a man, and then they fucked in the aftermath.

Not bloody optimal indeed.

Now back to Stede: he is utterly unprepared for the idea that the sex could be a mistake because to and for him it was the natural next step in their relationship. This is his romantic fantasy is the thing; he was a cool brave pirate captain who made an enemy walk the plank in defense of his crew and his boyfriend, and then Ed came to him and Stede got to sweep him off his feet and shove him against the wall, kiss him, bring him to the bed, and pointedly shut the curtains on an audience that doesn't exist, followed by a lazy morning after with breakfast in bed.

So it probably hurts extra that Ed is like that was a mistake. This is literally him living his fantasy from episode 1, Ned Low even has facial hair and is mean to him like Izzy used to be. He could ignore all the realities of that situation, because he was living his fantasy, and Ed dragged them both out of fantasyland, back to the real world, where their relationship isn't fixed 100% and sex didn't change that.

They weren't on the same page. They still aren't, because they need to talk.

[sadhours]

billy hargrove head canons that are important to me and you can’t argue with

he watches jeopardy and honestly could go on it and win like five times in a row

billy likes to start his day early, watches the sunrise with a cigarette and a cup of coffee (he likes his coffee with a splash of cream and some honey)

he does a two minute plank every night, just right on top of his bed before he goes to sleep

he falls asleep to music, but it’s super quiet

he likes gambling, he’s pretty good at poker

his favorite movie is night of the living dead but he loves horror movies and action movies, he kind of idolizes snake plissken and has watched escape from New York a hundred times

Billy loves seeing live music, punk and metal shows obviously

most of his clothes are hand-me-downs from Neil

When he was a freshmen in high school, he became friends with the juniors and seniors and they’re why he started partying

Billy loves talking shit, he’s a huge gossip

he really likes animals and Neil let him have a cat but he couldn’t keep it because Susan’s allergic

he secretly likes tears for fears, and bought songs from the big chair on cassette

Billy and Neil have an agreement that as long as his grades are high, he can smoke cigarettes and drink beer

When he’s angry or stressed, he’ll drive to an empty stretch of road and go as fast as he can. He keeps track of his speed and tries to beat it.

He’s into bodybuilding but one time a crush told him bodybuilders aren’t sexy so he keeps toned instead of really beefing up

there’s moments where he and max get along pretty well, they bond over horror movies and pranks (max has to be careful with the pranks, billy has to be in a good mood or he’ll get really mad)

billy loves Mexican food, it’s like top five of what he misses about California

he’s really good at cooking, because Neil used to work late and he always has to fend for himself. because of this, he grew sick of a few foods— box Mac n cheese, ramen and eggs. He still really likes tuna sandwiches but he’s super picky about them.

he’s also super handy because it was his responsibility to fix things around the house

the camaro was a salvaged title, he earned half of the money for it and Neil paid for the other half; the catch was billy has to fix it up with his own money

he worked as a bagboy at a grocery store before they moved to Hawkins, all the housewives loved him because he was handsome and he bagged the best. he was actually pretty particular about it; veggies and fruit together, meat by itself, boxes together and cans together.