#max beating the shit out of Bradley

[life-is-curious]

rough sketch and colour of Bradley getting his ass beat by max TWICE

[joykai]

Maxley Fanfic idea

Okay so people are actually interested in my ideas it seems lol so I'm gonna write it here for any writers who wanna use it as a plot <3 (plz credit me if you write this and if you have any questions about the plot DM me <3)

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Okay so It's a Spy/Agent x Assasin story

Bradley comes from a line of assassins and Max became a spy because he worked his ass off after his mom was killed in a gang altercation (she was just around the area and got caught in the crossfire). Max wanted to become a cop or something in law enforcement to help people so this wouldn't happen to anyone else and to bring the fuckers who killed his mom down. He ended up getting noticed by the ICA (Yes from the game Hitman) and got recruited.

Bradley's dad is a leader of a network of assassins but works as a CEO for some big company that sells security (that's how he breaks into stuff because basically everyone buys from him and he can disable stuff). Max get's put on the uppercrust case and he finds this one personal because he is investigating if they have any ties to the gang that killed his mom.

Important to note that Max's has a strict no killing rule, he doesn't want to be as bad as the guys he takes down. His job is to take the guys and bring them back to the ICA to get punished accordingly.

He decides that his best bet is to tail the son of Mr Uppercrust himself...Bradley. He goes undercover as an intern for Mr Uppercrust and becomes very close to Bradley. He is certain that Bradley has nothing to do with it so now he's in a situation that he is an Agent to sent to take down the father of the guy he's friends with (the guy he loves). He hides his identity from Bradley and Bradley hides his from Max. Max ends up on another case unrelated meanwhile to raid a gang hide out and he gets cornered and is in a bit of a pickle when one of the guys falls down clutching his neck. Something moves in the shadows and suddenly a figure comes out and takes down the men. It's bradley, Bradley explains everything to Max and they have a "I have to take you in" moment. Bradley explains how he can't let that happen and how he was forced into this role, how he never wanted this life for himself and just wanted to be normal. Max opens up about how his mother died and how the ICA believe that Bradley's dad is working with the gang and he has to take down everyone. Bradley has a moment of clarity and promises to help Max take down his father by being an inside man.

Bradley turns himself in and is working for the ICA (If he helps take down the gang he gets full immunity and a possible spot on the team but if he betrays them he gets either a bullet in the head or a longer sentence than everyone else involved).

Eventually Bradley's dad catches wiff of what's going on (Someone from the ICA was actually working for the uppercrust family to add some angst make it someone Max trusted or somone that bradley had a bad feeling about since day one but couldn't put his finger on it). Mr Uppercrust kidnaps Max and Bradley and as punishment forces Max to watch as he beats the ever loving shit out of Bradley and throws him off a cliff before knocking Max out and Leaving him there.

Max is found by some ICA members and turns out they imprisoned the traitor and kept him in a safe house for interrogation but he's not talking yet. Max get's taken off the case and sent back home to his apartment.

He ends up going rogue and vows to kill every member of the gang including Bradley's dad. He goes to the safe house and tortures the traitor for info before leaving him dead on the floor.

He is now wanted for manslaughter and has to hide out at his dad's place (He doesn't have the best relationship with his dad because his dad remarried too quick for his liking and it seems like he was already trying to replace his mom, he knows it's unrational but he can't let it go). ICA workers come to Goofies door and ask him about Max but Goofy being the good dad he is lies through his teeth to protect his son and Max hears all this from the top of the stairs and breaks down into his step moms arms about everything and how he wishes Bradley was here and how he could say sorry to his dad. Goofy ends up coming in and they have a bittersweet moment and hug.

Max's next stop is the gang hide out and he's been training so he's bulked up significantly and he's gotten better with his pistol and shit. He takes down a few guys but once again is outnumbered and cornered. One more time a figure in the shadows takes down a few guys before a figure steps out and fights hands on, It's Bradley (Turns out when his dad threw him off he landed on a ledge a little further down and once he woke up he dragged his barely working body to a friend of his who nursed his wounds, he saw on TV that Max was wanted and he tracked him down.

They fight together and re unite. They go back to Goofies and you know how that goes, he is gushing and taking about how happy he is and Max is embarrassed. They make a plan and decide to attack right at the source, they're gonna take down the uppercrust empire.

Max get's help from the few people he knows he can trust (P.J, bobby and bean scene girl. He also enlists the help of Roxanne who is a God on a keyboard the best hacker he knows, There is a sort of cute jealous scene that ends with Max telling Bradley he's the only one he wants.) Bradley also asks for the help of Tank <3

Bradley, Max, Tank, Bobby and P.J all storm the upper crust mansion and take down a few guards, Bradley is hit and Max runs back to help but Bradley tells him to go on and he can hold his own. Max ends up face to face with Mr Uppercrust and to make a long story short cuts off his head and places it at Bradley's feet almost like an offering to a god.

It ends with the gang running away and on a private island never to be bothered by the ICA or any remaining gangs (can have a part two that I will give the idea for of can be a stand alone fic)

[russilton]

No fr rosberg commits actual psychological warfare and everyone is like "baby angel 🥺 he didn't mean it they are childhood besties" but when george commits his silly little crimes everyone goes "KILL IT"

I CANT GRASP IT- how do you look at Nico Rosberg- a man who gave up his job in the paddock for a year because he refused to take an incredibly safe vaccine, who routinely shit talks Lewis and Merc, who LAST WEEK sneered at Lewis and implied he was arrogant and lazy for not driving in the rain, demanding Bradley lord “go and tell him to get in the car” before praising max verstappen for doing the same, the same nico who CROWED about how he beat Lewis by psychologically abusing him and built a career on “being the man who beat Lewis” and who Lewis wouldn’t even willingly REFERENCE until 2021-

How do you look at that walking hate crime- and think he is not only better to Lewis but PREFERABLE- to a guy who’s third word in any interview is about how incredible Lewis is. The man that Lewis has said on a POLYGRAPH he stills avoids in elevators Vs the guy Lewis willingly and joyfully teases and posts about.

Jesus Christ you don’t have to like George- BUT BELIEVING NICO IS BETTER TO LEWIS THAN GEORGE???

you don’t even have to compare differing incidents- LAST YEAR, while ON ZOOM because again, he refused to be vaccinated- Nico got to interview George after the Imola race- and He made a POINT to excitedly ask George how he must feel amazing because he got a better result than Lewis HAMILTON-

And George was so visibly disgusted with the question his face dropped and he took a deep breath before launching into an answer that fiercely pointed out he wasn’t better than Lewis in any way, because their car was awful- and that he would never compare himself to lewis in a time like this because nothing keeps lewis down for long.

You think this man- who called Lewis the goat more than I even have- is somehow more horrible than Nico fucking Rosberg??? I don’t- are we watching different directors cuts of the same sport???

[callmegkiddo]

Could I pretty please get some X Reader dating headcannons for either Bradley Uppercrust or Tank?😚

(I've lowkey wanted to request something from you for AGES but I didn't want to bother you. 😅 Thanks for taliung me into it! XD)

-Gamma🌸

Ohhh, some general dating HC's? That's a rare thing here-

But sure!

and please keep requesting @gamma-gal-24

General HC's of dating Tank and Bradley Uppercrust!

Bradley

Now, to date him your gonna have to reaaaally catch his attention-

No, seriously-

He has his mind focused on the X tournaments and skating oh and studies. But mostly trying to one-up Max.

If you do manage to catch his attention and ya'll start dating? He'll test your loyalty

And when I say that, I mean he'll straight up flirt with you and other girls

If you get jealous and try to pull him away to discuss it, he'll consider staying with you.

But if you cheat on him, that won't really affect him, thinking you used him for fame.

When he starts being serious about your relationship together, be prepared for lots of gifts. More specifically plushes and flowers

He's the cheesy romantic type, so he'll come home to gift you flowers and chocolates.

His love language is acts of service, so he'll help you whenever you need his help, or do things for you that he normally wouldn't do. Like cleaning the house, offering you bubble baths, or cooking you breakfast in bed.

He's a tease and a flirt, so expect to become a tomato whenever you cross paths on campus.

Over all, he's the cautious and careful type, but when he gets used to you, he'll be with you through and through.

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Tank

Now Tank is a sweetheart, he's also a mama's boy, and he's a feminist

But hearing you willingly want to be in a relationship with him shocks him a ton

He's considered to be the big dumb brute everyone on campus knows. So he thinks he intimidates you

He thinks Bradley put you up to this as another prank. But to see your dedication and honesty? It warms his heart.

Immediately focuses on your needs, he's an attentive lover.

This also means he'll know when something is up with you if ever you are just using him.

It'll upset him if you are though, he really did like you....

But if you're not? prepare for thousands of cuddle sessions while studying.

His love language is physical touch, he believes in the phrase "Actions speak more than words"

He will help you with anything, especially heavy lifting, he's good with that.

Please compliment his tummy, he gets pretty insecure with it, especially since Bradley called him fat during the X tournaments.

Lets you use him as a cuddle bear, he loves it <3

Overall? Wonderful boyfriend, he trusts you 100% and will beat the shit out of anyone, even the gamma's if you get hurt

[platypanthewriter]

Secrets and Butterflies

Harringrove April prompt day 5, “Butterflies”--Max and Billy friendship, abuse depiction

At first, after the trailer showdown where Billy got his ass kicked by his little sister, he kinda wished she’d just tell his dad, and get it over with.  Tell Neil Hargrove his son couldn’t be trusted not to punch a child, or beat a guy half to death, and let Billy take what was coming.  

It was grating, knowing Max didn’t fear him anymore.

She made him wait picking her up, and she brought friends over, and if he turned the music up too loud, she just stomped into his room and turned it off, or reached right over the gearshift and turned it down.  Billy snarled, and clenched his fists, and twitched every time she cleared her throat at dinner, waiting for her to triumph, but she mostly just ignored him—until she walked in on Billy and his dad.

Neil didn’t usually say anything much to Billy with Max in the house, was the thing.  He’d make sideways comments—point out a mess, or a project Susan needed help with, or compliment the neighbor kids—but he didn’t lean in and clench his fingertips in the meat of Billy’s shoulder with Max there.  He didn’t shove Billy into anything, with Max around, or twist Billy’s arm behind his back like this, while Billy swore, his face mashed into the hood of his car. 

“Why did the cashier at Bradley’s Big Buy tell me you were good friends with his son?” Neil asked, in the impatient voice he got when the mail was late, or Susan burned dinner, or he was about to dislocate Billy’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Billy gasped.  “Sir.  I don’t—”

“What did she see, Billy?” his father asked, and Billy tried to think—he’d made so sure not to throw his arm around anyone, or spend too much time with a guy—“Did you hear the question, Billy?” his father asked, tightening his grip, and Billy’s boots scraped against the cement floor of the garage as he forgot himself and tried to squirm away.

“I don’t know,” he panted, his eyes tearing up with the twisting pain in his wrist and shoulder, and he blinked hard, gritting his teeth.  “I don’t—I didn’t do anything, I swear, I didn’t—”

“Is that how you address your father?” his father asked, more softly, leaning harder, and Billy grunted with pain.

“No, sir,” he gasped.  “I’m sorry, sir, I’m sorry—”

“I had thought we were past this,” his father said, and Billy heard a creak of hinges, and looked up to see Max glaring at them from the door of the garage, her mouth falling open.  “I thought I was perfectly clear,” Neil said, and Billy nodded, swallowing, and trying to offset his crying like a fucking child by mouthing fuck off at Max.  

She mouthed back something he couldn’t parse just as his dad shook him, forcing all his joints a little further, and Billy bit his lips on a yelp, his tears dripping sideways over his face, over his nose and across his cheek to smear against the hood of his car.

“I’ve been—I’ve been good, I haven’t done anything, I don’t know what the hell she thought she saw...sir,” Billy gritted out, and Neil sighed.  Billy’s fingers were going numb.

Max turned on her heel and walked off, and Billy hated her, for a moment, for not giving a flying fuck.  All the time Neil had spent making sure she didn’t see, and when she did see, she was fine with it.  

Probably getting some popcorn, Billy thought, forcing down a laugh as more tears leaked out of his face, and snot dripped off his mustache.  Off she went, glad her shitstain fag brother got what was coming.  Neil took another breath—Billy shut his eyes, his breath catching in his throat—and then all of a sudden Susan screamed in the kitchen.

Billy’s dad slammed him down against the hood and walked quickly out of the garage, leaving Billy to swear under his breath, work his fingers, and push himself unsteadily to his feet.  He kept a hand on the wall as he crept out, and down the hall to his room, laughing a little at his own idiocy as his heart pounded like he was escaping enemy soldiers.

He opened his window and leaned out, lighting a cigarette, and drawing deep breaths of the fresh air.  “Shit,” he whispered, rubbing his forehead, and then his door opened, and he scrambled up, smacking his head hard on the edge of the raised window sash.

It was Max.

“Fuck you,” he muttered, sticking the cigarette in his mouth to hold his head with the hand his dad hadn’t been twisting, because that one was half pins-and-needles, and half numb.

“You sure about that?” she whispered, shutting the door.  “I told Mom I saw a mouse so she’d scream.”

Billy’s brain kinda hit a speed bump with that one, and he stared at her, touching the spot where the window had hit, gingerly, and grimacing at the tenderness.  “...the hell d’you mean,” he hissed.

“That’s what you meant,” she said, a little shakily, walking over and sitting on his bed like she owned the goddamn place.  “You—you kept saying it was my fault, and I could tell he was pissed at you—that’s why, isn’t it.”

“The hell are you talking about,” Billy asked, his head pounding, and his shoulder feeling like it might snap right off like an action figure’s arm.  “Actually, I don’t give a shit, get out—”

“When I told him you were parked with Matt Greeley,” she whispered, and Billy twitched.  “I just…” she whispered, swallowing hard.  “I just thought it was weird, you lying, you said you were on a date—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Billy grated out, his throat hurting.

“It was a date, wasn’t it,” she said, dropping her voice until it was barely audible.  “You weren’t lying.  It was a date with Matt Greeley.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Billy snarled at her, and she glowered back.

“And then he made you go outside to talk,” she whispered, “—but I didn’t—I th—I thought it was such a little thing.  That’s why we moved out here, that’s why we live in the asscrack of nowhere, isn’t it.”

Billy took a long, deep drag on his cigarette, his heart thudding in his chest knowing she had more to hold over him, now.  

“I’m not gonna tell anyone,” she whispered, laughing a little.  “I—I’m good at secrets, actually.  See?”  She sniffled wetly, and rubbed her nose with her sleeve.  “You didn’t even know I had any.”

“Why the fuck would you help me,” Billy asked flatly, glaring at her freckled, tear-streaked face.  “You wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire—”

“I didn’t know!” she hissed back, through bared teeth.  “I didn’t fucking know you were queer, okay, jesus, I mean…” she groaned into her hands.  

“...what,” he growled, tossing the butt of his cigarette out the window, and lighting another.  

“You don’t tell me anything,” she muttered.  “The hell was I supposed to know I was doing...that.”

That, he though, snorting a laugh.  Upending his life.  Making his dad go from barely tolerating Billy to hating him.  Oh, that.  There was a time, Billy thought, he’d have wanted to throw Max out a goddamn window, but he was too fucking tired.  “Whatever,” he grunted.

“...one of the girls in my class’ older sister kissed another girl at this nun camp,” Max reported, eyes intent, and Billy snorted a laugh so hard he choked.  

“What the fuck,” he said, between coughs, and wiped his eyes.

“And there’s David Bowie,” she said, glowering earnestly.  

“...there is David Bowie,” he agreed, sitting back against the wall, and taking a long drag off his cigarette.  Billy had read and reread the interview in Melody Maker over and over, unable to comprehend that somebody else had the same fucked-up feelings he had, and didn’t mind. 

Billy blew out a long trail of smoke.  “What’s your point, shitbird.”

“I don’t care if Steve Harrington gives you stomach butterflies,” she said, her eyes narrowing, as Billy sputtered and coughed some more.  “And I swear I won’t tell.”

“I don’t—fucking—butterflies—” Billy spat, snarling, and her mouth quirked, dangerously close to a smile.  “I don’t,” he growled.  “Why the fuck would you bring Harrington up—”

“No reason,” she said, with a smirk, and he burned all over, with humiliation, but also because she’d lowered her voice again and glanced warily at the door, like she honest-to-christ wasn’t gonna tell Billy’s dad.

“...you tell anyone and I’ll end you,” he growled, letting himself slump back against the wall, just a little.

“...he didn’t use to pull that shit, did he,” she whispered, frowning at him again.  “When we were kids.  Before—before I snitched.”

Billy remembered getting slammed into walls, shoved around so he staggered, and the bruises from getting yanked around by the arm.  He concentrated on the feeling of smoke in his mouth and lungs.

In the silence, Max whispered, “It’s worse now.”

“Shut up,” Billy hissed, on reflex.  

She sighed heavily, and let herself flop back on his bed, like it was her fucking room, and Billy scowled over.  “...it’s something, with Harrington,” she sighed.

“I don’t get butterflies,” Billy hissed, his face heating, and she started snickering.  

“Whaddya get,” she whispered, propping herself up on her elbows to snigger at him.  “Something tough?  You get Death's-head moths?”

She was still laughing, so he glared harder, even though the name sounded cool.  “The fuck is that,” he muttered.

“Roaches are tough,” she whispered, cupping her mouth with a glance at the door, and he snorted a laugh, and leaned to kick a leg of the bed, so she squeaked.

“I don’t have bugs, Maxine,” he grunted, and it felt...good, hearing her muffle cackles in his blanket, like it hadn’t felt since she’d sliced open his deepest, darkest secret, letting it spill out in front of everyone like a slashed vein, red and unmistakable.  He took another deep breath, and leaned his head back, listening to the sounds outside the window—cars, and the wind in the late Indiana spring.  

“We hang out with Harrington, sometimes,” she said, to the ceiling, with a sigh that sounded as tired as Billy felt.  “You can gimme a ride.  See if they’re roaches or butterflies or whatever.  Stomach slugs.”

“Fuck you,” he told her, and she laughed, softly.  “...it’s not butterflies,” he said again.

The other Harringrove April prompts I’ve done

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 77 Rundown!

Code Geass: So since Shirley’s dead, Lelouch has a similar thought to Cornelia and blames the power of Geass itself instead of her actual murderer. So instead of using the Geass Order like he planned he decides to say fuck it and burn it all to the ground, completing his Darth Vader transformation by not only killing the men, but the women AND THE CHILDREN AND THE SCIENTISTS (Science is the fourth gender, look it up, it’s in Dr. Stone). But yeah half of this episode is just murdering scientist who granted were making child supersoldiers but also don’t have any weapons, like they have zero security no wonder Cornelia was able to walk right up to V.V. And the Black Knights are pissed about killing civilians but I feel like once the horde of children starts making them shoot each other they should get the picture. Rolo murders all his friends, C.C. murders all her former supports, Dietard puts a ninja hit out on Ohgi and Viletta also wants to kill Ohgi, poor Ohgi the dude has like nothing going for him and just ended up in this fucked up chess game and he’s just some dude that fell in love when he saw Viletta naked (didn’t we all)  but anyway V.V. pilots Jeremiah’s Pumpkin Battleship and before Lelouch can make Rolo kamikaze himself for killing Shirley, Cornelia wipes him out anyway in probably her most badass moment in the series, using the Pumpkin Battleship’s Byakugan Blindspot to bring it down. V.V. is dead like five times over but Charles comes out to drag Lelouch into the Spear of Longinus so he can do Human Instrumentality or whatever.

Inuyasha: Naraku’s kidnapped Rin so Sesshomaru will kill Inuyasha for him and Sesshomaru hates two things more than anything: being implied he likes humans, and being told what to do, so he tells Naraku to fuck off and goes to fuck him up. This being one of Naraku’s plans of course Sesshomaru doesn’t actually have a choice in this and the battle is a farce so he can spread bits of himself all over and absorb Sesshomaru like Super Buu did to Mystic Gohan. However Inuyasha’s new powerup lets him throw a wrench in that by breaking his barrier and Kagura has to pretend to fight him even though she just wants the doggy brothers to fuck Naraku up. Also Kohaku and Rin have a cute little interaction while he’s holding her captive and Kohaku sees Sango again which triggers his selective amnesia shit. Like you get the feeling Kagura probably would’ve been a better guard for Rin but Naraku only has so many named demons and Kanna isn’t allowed to do anything so might as well throw Kohaku in there to get bonus mental damage to Sango which only works out if you know they’re going to split up like that. But again, this is one of Naraku’s plans so it’s like 50% torture, 50% just trolling people to fuck with their heads.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Younger Toguro faked his death and ambushes Yusuke’s date with Keiko because the plot just doesn’t want this relationship to happen. Toguro pulls up on a motorcycle which is just kind of weird to see and he takes Yusuke somewhere, idk if they walked or if Yusuke got on the back of the motorcycle but Toguro either tossing his motorcycle away to go walk to a car park with Yusuke or Yusuke holding onto Toguro’s waist while they ride are equally hilarious images. Anyway Toguro demolishes the parking garage while still breaking all the rocks that are about to crush Yusuke just to literally flex on him how much stronger he was than when they fought. It’s weird because Toguro seems to kinda be mad about having to fake a loss but also respect Yusuke as a fighter which is strange since Kuwabara was the one that put in the effort for that fake win. That doesn’t matter though cause it’s DARK TOURNAMENT TIME BABY! One of the most iconic anime arcs ever is about to begin and it’s kinda funny they yadda yadda over a two month training arc like there’s like three minutes of Kuwabara training with Hiei and Kurama (where Kurama is the bad cop ironically enough) and Yusuke training with Genkai again before it’s like “Okay let’s just get to the tournament” like I don’t think I’ve ever seen an anime where they announce the tournament and then go sign up for it in the same episode, usually they milk that shit to really sell the preparation but they go with “Here’s a few scene and Yusuke’s a lot stronger now, take our word for it” which is a funny way to start one of the most epic tournament arcs ever.

Fate Zero: This is an episode I’ve heard a lot about, Iskandar, Saber and Gilgamesh fuck around drinking, the whole thing kinda reads like a fanfiction or a Ghost in the Shell episode since 75% of it is just talking. Gilgamesh is basically like “Yo, see that shit? All that shit is my shit, even if I don’t know what it is, it’s mine, so fuck off.” Iskandar’s like “What could the man who once conquered the whole world want? To conquer the whole world TWICE!” and Saber’s like “Hey my whole country got destroyed cause I was thrown into a role I was grossly underqualified for so, maybe not that?” and this pisses Iskandar off because her regret and martyrdom isolates and enfeebles her, he sees the downfall of nations as inevitable and leadership as something to form a community that emulates their leader, not to isolate the ruler as some lone pillar. Also Kirei’s Assassins jump them and Iskandar uses Unlimited Dude Works to stomp them all. Basically it’s the whole Ling/Bradley discussion from FMA but with more nuance, rulers have to benefit their people but they can’t be so dragged down by it that it destroys everyone involved once that pillar collapses. So Iskandar’s like “Yeah you have a really toxic way of looking at things Saber, I’m out. Stop beating yourself up about what’s already happened.” And Gilgamesh is like “No, let her keep beating herself up, this fun, I’m having fun.” So Saber has the admiration of the villain and the disdain of the hero which is an odd situation to be in.

Konosuba: So this one is an OVA or something I think so we don’t get closure on the whole “Kazuma is going to jail for horny and non-horny crimes alike” subplot but we do get a cute little story about Kazuma slowly getting murdered while basically doing the Higurashi Punishment Games on everyone. Ironically he’s not pervy enough for Darkness or Aqua because he’s just a voyeur for Darkness and Aqua he apparently has no sexual attraction to whatsoever. It’s kind of interesting because a few times one or two of them heavily imply they’d just straight up take his virginity if it’d help and he doesn’t go for it, I don’t know if that’s better or worse than what he actually does but once again the ‘principled scumbag’ archetype comes into play and it’s always fun to see what Kazuma will or won’t do, it tends to be just enough that we’re willing to see him punished but not enough to make us hate him, it’s a surprisingly good balance. Anyway, Darkness is boobs, Kazuma may be a lolicon for Megumin, Yunyun and Wiz are also boobs, Aqua is boner repellant and Kazuma dies anyway because the real wish was the friends we made along the way but real friends are the ones that murder you when you’re a scumbag… or something. On to Season 2 next week!

Sailor Moon Crystal: I’m kind of  loving the Evil Tuxedo Mask aesthetic, like the bishie face with the red eyes and the suit is really cool-looking. Anyway Tuxedo Mask is evil now and seduces Usagi all over again with the power of evil and video games. There’s probably a message here about girls falling for toxic boys but that’s the subtext over a lot of Sailor Moon that there’s lots of bullshit out to get teen girls and they shouldn’t waste their energy on it. Usagi’s kind of having an existential crisis over evil Tuxedo Mask and Luna’s feeling bad about calling him evil before and now that he actually is evil she doesn’t know what to do. Anyway he finds Zordon’s Tower by hypnotizing Makoto and we do the full transformation scene and speech for four of the scouts so you really know they were stretching the plot with this one. Usagi gets over herself but it’s too late, Evil Mask has the crystal and summons Queen Beryl by… flapping his cape, guess calling her was that easy, man you’d think they coulda just stomped these guys a long time ago but oh well.

Durarara!!: We leave off where Shizuo just crushed someone with a car door, good times. Celty takes the knife they had, believing it to be Saika but is so superstitious about it she doesn’t even see it’s a crappy Pampered Chef knife that’s like two years old max. Then Haruna, the reporter’s daughter reveals not only did she have a weird relationship with the teacher hitting on Anri but she’s also controlling all the Saika zombies around the city because to swords cutting people is loving them like how sharks bite things to see what they are. She sics her army on Anri and Shizuo separately and goes after her teacher who was just coming to sexually harass Anri again so… yay? Anyway Shizuo says fuck you to being in a polyamorous relationship with hundreds of sword zombies and Anri reveals that Haruna’s Saika isn’t the real Saika because HER Saika is the real Saika, we got katana school girls here folks, it really is an anime after all.

[ravens-words]

Tell me how all this (and love, too) will ruin us

For @bamfalexmanes ❤ Elle, I hope you like it

The one in which Michael and Alex have a talk, some truths are revealed and a new hope is born.

This is a sequel of a sort to we burned down our paper house.

Happy Reading!!

.

"Are you okay?"

Michael looked up quickly, too quickly if the way his vision blurred for a second was an indication, and found Alex looking down at him with a frown of concern.

Michael hated it. He also wanted to put his lips to those three lines that resided in between his brows and kiss it away. 

"I'm fine," he mumbled pathetically, looking away before his thoughts became too hard to conceal and showed up on his face. Neither of them would be ready for that.

Alex crouched beside him and Michael's eyes flickered up to meet his. He smiled, and Michael's treacherous heart beat a hard rhythm against his chest. "You're not fine," he told him casually.

Michael laughed bitterly. Of course he wasn't alright. There was an ancient, psychotic alien who looked like his brother's twin living in his bunker. Max wasn't getting any better, seemed to be even more manic now that that they'd found Jones. And Michael had to live everyday with a regret that threatened to choke him alive every single time he saw Alex and Forrest together. When he'd walked away in the middle of Alex's song, he hadn't been thinking clearly. He'd been so sure that it wasn't their time, that they would have time later, that they weren't ready in that moment. He'd known, in his bones, that he and Alex were meant for each other. They'd loved each other through the worst of times, and still do after almost twelve years. Whatever thing he had with Forrest wouldn't last, Michael had convinced himself, but- Alex needed it. Alex needed something light and good and happy and fleeting, just like what he'd had with Maria. 

After he had tried with Maria, Michael's belief that Alex was the only one for him had been cemented. Selfleshly, he'd wanted the same to happen for Alex. Michael had desperately needed that reassurance. 

It had backfired on him, because of all the things he'd accounted for in the minute it took to make the decision to walk away, he hadn't accounted for the most important one; having to watch the love of his life be with someone else. Having to watch him kiss someone else, laugh with someone else and wishing that it was him. 

Jealousy wasn't a new thing to Michael. He'd spent his whole life, it felt like, being jealous. Jealous of Max and Isobel for getting the family while he got bounced around from home to home. Jealous of Max and Isobel when they literally killed people, and yet his life turne out to be the worst out of the three of them. Jealous of Isobel for getting married to the person she loved and building herself a home (before Noah turned out to be a serial killer). And now, jealous of Forrest Long, of all people, for getting to be with Alex in a way Michael had not been in all the years they'd been in love. 

"This is about me and Forrest, isn't it?" Even though it was phrased as one, Michael knew it wasn't a question. 

He didn't answer. Ashamed and guilty and relieved that Alex got it without him having to say it. 

Alex sighed. "I watched you be with Maria for a lot longer, you know," he told him mildly, tone almost teasing. 

Michael found himself silent again, because yeah, Alex had watched him be with Maria for nearly a year and had been gracious about it. He had been supportive, even, according to Maria. Michael wanted to do the same, had been trying for a little less than a month with varying degrees of success. 

He didn't know how Alex could stand it. 

"It's not about you and Forrest." One last ditch effort to be the friend and not the helpless fool in love. 

It didn't work. Of course it didn't work. 

Alex raised his eyebrows.  "Did you really think that would work?"

Michael shrugged. "Figured I had to try."

Alex shifted from his crouch to sit beside Michael, and their shoulders brushed. The touch sent shivers down his spine and he had to fight the instinct to lean closer. Damn, but he missed the closeness, the comfort of it. "Well, now that you have, are you ready to tell me why you're here on your own instead of being inside with all of us?"

"Is it me?" He found himself asking. He sounded like a small child and found himself looking down to avoid looking at Alex. 

He felt Alex stiffen beside him And immediately wanted to take it back. He didn't, though. After a few seconds of silence, Alex relaxed and let out a slow breath. "Something that you never managed to understand, Michael, was that at no point in the past eleven years was I ever ashamed of you. It was never about you. It was my father, it was the military, it was me. But it was never you. That is, until you chose to do something illegal on our first date."

Michael looked up at the sky and shook his head as they both laughed softly. He marveled at how far they had come, that they could laugh about something that had torn them apart two years ago. 

Once their laughter died down, Alex spoke again. "You have to understand that my father made me live in fear for a really, really long time. He- I was thirteen when I figured out I was gay, and twelve when he did. From that moment on, I lived in constant fear of being myself. The only time I wasn't aftlraid was with you. And we both know how that turned out."

It hurt to hear, because Alex didn't deserve any of it, but knowing that he had somehow helped, that Alex wasn't ashamed of him, was a balm on a gaping wound that had been bleeding for a long time. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Alex smiled, reassuring. "Now get up, suck it up and come inside." Though outwardly his demeanor was light, Michael could tell this was a test. He'd never failed a test in his life and he was damned if he was going to start now. 

He got up, followed Alex inside and sucked it up.

.................

"Guerin!" 

Michael grinned automatically and spun around to greet Alex. To his surprise, he wasn't alone. The man with him was just a little shorter, but was built like a tank. Alex clapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him. "Hey."

"Hi."

Alex gestured at the man. "This is Bradley Williams, a buddy of mine."

"Hey, man," Michael took over the introduction. "Michael Guerin. Nice-" he trailed off as the man's eyes widened and his head spun around to look at Alex with a speed that had him wondering how his head was still attached. "-to meet you?" He looked between the two men. The man was grinning ear to ear now, while Alex was glaring daggers at him. "Am I missing something here?"

"Yes," Bradley said.

"No," Alex countered, in a way that left no room for argument.

Michael was surprised to see the man back off immediately and wondered exactly how the two had met. It must have been the air force, but it wouldn't explain the evident closeness. The two seemed like brothers.

"Listen, his car is a mess. But h's stubborn and won't admit he can't fix it. Can you take a look at it and tell him he needs to have a professional fix it?" The last part, though addressed to him, was said pointedly in Bradley's direction. 

"Sure thing."

The car was a mess. Alex took too much pleasure in being right and processed to give Bradley shit the second Michael confirmed it. Seeing Alex like this, happy and carefree, never failed to make Michael's heart swell with fondness for him. It was seriously a problem.

About fifteen minutes later, Alex got a call and stepped away from them. "You know, this is gonna take a while, so you can just go and I'll give you or Alex a call when it's ready."

"Nah," he said with forced casualness. "I'm good here. Plus, he's probably gonna go back to the base- yup, there's that look." When Bradley pointed the bottle in Alex's direction, Michael's eyes followed and noticed the serious look on his face.

"I gotta go back to the base," he told them, putting the phone in his back pocket. "Let me drive you to the house?"

Bradley leaned back in his chair. "I'm good here, cap; you go ahead."

They locked eyes and after a few seconds, Alex nodded, giving him a wry smile. Michael felt like an outsider as they seemed to have an entire conversation without saying a thing.

Once Alex was gone, the other man turned to him. "Forgive my bluntness, but why the hell aren't you two together?"

Michael's head whipped around and he stared at the man, pissed off and in awe in equal measures. Had he managed to figure out Michael was in love with Alex from spending twenty minutes with them? "What?" He spluttered.

Bradley shook his head. "He told me about you. The way-"

Michael's whole world did a somersault around its axis. "He- he talked about me?"

The older man's forehead crinkled in a frown, but then his features softened and he let out a huff of a breath that could have been a laugh. "Yes, he talked about you. Not much, mind you. He kept a lot of things close to the vest back then, still does, but- everyone in our unit kinda knew there was someone special for him back home, way before he told me." 

Someone special. At a time where he'd thought of himself as an afterthought, a dirty secret, in Alex's life, the people closest to him at the time had thought he was someone special. 

"Every time he talked to you on the phone, he'd be settled, more- alive, I guess- for the next couple of days. Sometimes, I'd even catch him on the phone with you and he'd have this look on his face and I just knew."

"Knew what?" Michael managed to say, heart in his throat. 

"That he loved you. And from what I've seen, that hasn't changed, has it?" 

A part of Michael wanted to snap at him and tell him to mind his own business. Another part wanted to get down on his knees and beg him to tell him more. 

"What did he say about me?" He found himself asking, voice barely above a whisper.

"That you're smart. Kind. That he- he was bleeding out in my arms and all he could talk about was you." Bradley sucked in a harsh breath, and Michael envied his ability to do that, because couldn't draw a single breath. "He was dying, and all he wanted was for you to know; practically begged me to be the one to tell you."

"That he loved me?" Michael's voice cracked, but he ignored it, eyes on the other man. 

"That he'd died, Michael. He didn't want you to keep guessing, I think." Bradley looked him straight in the eye and Michael saw the tears that had gathered there. It made Michael feel better about the tears in his own eyes. 

"If something does happen to you, half the town will know before I do and that's because no one would even think to tell me." He remembered saying on the last phone call they'd had, nearly four years ago. 

He'd been angry when he'd said that; angry and afraid. The idea that his words had stayed with Alex, that he'd been thinking about him when he'd been bleeding, dying, broke his heart and mended it in the same breath. Not for the first time, he ached for him, for them, for everything they could have been and everything they could have had. 

Michael stopped working on the car and sat down heavily in the chair next to him, and Bradley kindly offered him the rest of his beer, eyes forward, probably to give Michael the opportunity to breakdown in peace. But Michael didn't fall apart, he just drank the beer and then stood up to finish the work, not saying a word even when Bradley stood up and walked closer. 

"I met Forrest yesterday. Between you and me? I'm rooting for you," he told him with a smirk, patting his shoulder twice before he left, leaving a stunned Michael in his wake.

......

It took two days for Michael to gather up the courage to talk to Alex. When he reached his house, he found him on a lawn chair, headphones in and his head bopping to the beat of a song only he knew. Michael stopped to stare at him, and really, it was ridiculous how far he was gone for the man that he was staring at the back of his head like a lovesick fool. 

He took a few steps closer, until he was beside him and when Alex looked up and smiled at him, Michael smiled back automatically. "Writing another song about me?" He asked, teasing.

"No," Alex told him with a laugh. "I think that was a one time thing."

His disappointment must have showed on his face because Alex shook his head. "Not many people have a song written about them, you know, you shouldn't get greedy," he chided and stood up. 

He didn't know what made him do it; maybe it was Bradley's words ringing in his ears- he was bleeding out in my arms and all he cared about was you. He wanted you to know; that he'd died.- but the second he was on his feet, Michael pulled him into his arms. When Alex didn't push him away; when he pulled him in tighter instead, Michael buried his nose in the juncture between his neck and his shoulder and took in a lungful of air. 

"Are you okay?"

Michael nodded against his neck and Alex's arms tightened around him. He tried desperately to think of something to say, tried to pull away, but found that he couldn't. 

"Is this about your talk with Bradley?"

Michael nodded again and buried himself further in Alex's arms.

Alex didn't seem to mind.

They stood like that for longer than they should have, but neither of them seemed to want to let go, so they didn't. Until, eventually, they had to. 

"Want to come inside for a beer?" He asked him gently.

Michael wanted more than that. Michael Wanted to hold him until the image of him, bleeding out in Bradley's arms while Michael was blissfully unaware, stopped haunting him in his dreams. He wanted to ask him to sing him the song again, just to hear the rest of it, to be able to appreciate it, to have a reminder that Alex hadn't forgotten about him. Michael wanted to talk to him about the mistakes they'd made and the future they could still have together. But, like he had a month ago, he knew it still wasn't their time.

So he settled for accepting the beer. And being Alex's friend. He owed it to the both of them to try. And he owed it to Alex to back off and let him be happy with someone else since that was what he wanted.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Yeah, I'd love a beer."

[gra-sonas]

In-depth interview with L’Odet

Michael is an actor based in Los Angeles. He's known for his work on The CW's "Roswell, New Mexico." The second season of Roswell dropped on Netflix this week. Photos by Davy Kesey for his Reflections series, a photographic pursuit of vulnerable, multifaceted, and deeply personal portraits.

CARIANN BRADLEY: What did your day to day look like filming the second season of "Roswell, New Mexico?" I know in our first chat together several months ago, you told me you tapped into your friend passing away this time last year. Can you explain to me your process?

MICHAEL VLAMIS: Season two of "Roswell" — it was crazy because so many things happened to me personally going into the season. A buddy of mine passed away; I recovered his body in the middle of an ocean after a freak boating accident . Friends and I were out in Panama, Central America, for a bachelor party and it went from the greatest time ever to one of the most wild experiences of my life. The kid that we lost was one of my childhood best friends.

That happened in May. Shortly after that, I tore my meniscus in my right knee, which is the third time I’ve done that, so I underwent surgery at the end of July. Once that surgery happened, I had to report to the set of "Roswell" about three days later. I couldn’t drive, so one of my roommates actually drove me out to Santa Fe — my roommate Roarke Anderson who I have lived with since college, we played baseball together at Chapman. And then I get out to the shoot and everybody is so worried about me because of my knee surgery. I’m limping and it’s hard for me to be standing on set or doing any physical contact and everybody is babying me so hard! I’m really bad at taking help. The "Roswell" cast and crew were so supportive, so helpful — they got me my own custom chair that I could sit in so my knee would heal quicker.

They were doing all of these things, going out of their way, and I don’t know if it’s a thing that I have — pride or ego or my stubbornness — but taking help from people, even when I need it, is tough for me. I was taking all of this help and then three weeks into shooting, the doctor said, “You can drive, but you don’t want to be hitting the break too hard; take care of your knee.” And on my way to set one morning, a priest turned right in front of me at a green light and I smoked this guy in my car; I totaled my car. He got knocked unconscious, but luckily he was okay, everything worked out — he was healthy, he got taken away from the scene but was able to walk away from the hospital and was doing fine. Right at that time, I was really just feeling the death of my friend, the knee surgery, the car accident — meanwhile, Max, my brother in the show, played by Nathan Parsons of course, is dead in the series.

So, while all of this is going on, I keep channeling my buddy and that horrific incident because it felt like if anything was gonna come out of that — he was a big supporter of my career, always telling people I was acting — I felt like I could do justice to my friend’s death, I could make a positive out of such a negative, and that’s what I did. I really tried to channel him and look to him between scenes and bring that for the loss of my brother in the show.

And, to be honest, I felt like I went too deep into that and it really caught up to me. A month and a half into shooting I just snapped one day. I remember the hair stylist on set all of the sudden told me that The CW thought the right side of my hair wasn’t as curly as it normally is, so they started curling my curls on set and, it’s so funny that that ended up being the last straw. Curling my curls made me feel like a helpless individual who just needed to be so pampered and taken care of and watched after and looked upon — and I didn’t feel like my own person. I ended up saying a dick comment to our hair stylist, who I love and really respect and appreciate, but in that moment I snapped and I got all teary-eyed and she was like, “Dude, what’s going on?” And I gave her a big hug and I’m like, “I’m sorry, this isn’t about you at all,” and I went to my trailer and I wrote a poem and I kind of got out everything I was feeling. From that moment on, which was about six weeks into shooting, I felt better. I had a little bit of a relief. And then, luckily, Max comes back to life halfway through season two and my big episode, episode five, when I channeled my buddy the most was a very tough experience. But once that was over I was able to let the passing of my friend go for a while and everything normalized, but that was everything just on set! You just get so focused on doing your best work that you kind of drive yourself insane.

C: Even just from talking to you the first time we chatted for l’Odet, you just seem like the most productive person ever. How do you take care of yourself? Especially when you’re exerting that much of yourself creatively. Do you do therapy or do you just depend on your support system?

M: I think that changes. At one point in my life it was meditation. I actually meditated for the first time this morning since February because I’ve been feeling so strange lately in the pandemic, right? It’s been ups and downs and I was feeling like I needed a little bit more calmness in my life. I know that I’m a person that really likes control and I like things the way they are and me having a grasp on things — it’s little things. I have a driveway that we park all five of the cars of the house and the cars are parked just back to back to back, so if you’re the first one in, you have to go to your roommates and say, “Hey guys, I have to do a car shuffle, I have to leave,” and it can be an inconvenience for people to go move their cars for you to get out. When I’m meditating and my mind is very relaxed, that doesn't bother me, but I’ve been noticing lately that I don’t want to park in the driveway because I’m gonna get stuck, but at a time like this? When I don’t have to go anywhere, I don’t have to be anywhere, why am I thinking about being stuck? What is going on right there? Why do I need this control again? This feeling of absolute freedom whenever I want when I can achieve that freedom mentally with my car being in the driveway. Little things like that make me realize that I need to get back to centering myself, so I’m going to start meditating again every day, because you asked what I do for my mental health — to be completely honest, I don’t really take care of myself that much!

I’m just kind of a go, go, go person and I like pushing myself. I look at life like a big video game; the more levels I can beat, the more fun it is, but eventually, you get tired of the game and you have to step back so I’m going to try to be putting meditation back into my life. Aside from that, I’ve been reading way more during the pandemic. I’ve read three books, "The Little Prince" is one of them; it’s a children’s book, but you can call it that! I read a book! I’ve read like three books which is more than I’ve read all through "Roswell" because I was just so occupied with writing, so that’s been helping me take a step back and unwind. Aside from that, I need pointers! I need to figure out what taking care of myself actually looks like, because it is peaks and valleys when it comes to my mental health.

C: It seems like you're always working, even when you're not shooting. You're a bit addicted to work, maybe?

M: I think so. I think I’m addicted to accomplishing things that I don’t even think I should be able to accomplish. The people that fascinate me are the Donald Glovers of the world. The guys, and women, who you hear they did something and you’re like, “How?!” How did they make a hit album, a hit TV show, act in all these movies, write for a TV show — all these things that just don’t seem feasible, but he accomplished them! I want that. I like that. I like being the person who is always pushing to just be outside of their comfort zones and accomplish something that was a dream at one point in your life that could turn into reality. I’m really fascinated by that whole process or turning dreams into reality.

C: I think people our age can get really discouraged if one thing doesn’t work out and for a person to be able to keep going, for it to only motivate them more — I think that’s probably a superpower.

M: Superpower or just a big ego! It’s one of the two. Ego is something that I’ve thought about heavily. I’ve blown relationships in the past because of ego, I think my acting work five years ago wasn’t good because of ego. Then you get stripped down, you get beaten down by life, and you get a little more comfortable with the uncomfortable and I think that’s where the best work comes from. For me, yeah, I think I just really like pushing myself. I do see life like this video game, so if one door closes, you don’t put the game down, you don’t all of a sudden stop playing, no, you keep playing in order to beat it! And sometimes that might mean buying the cheat code book or asking a friend how to beat this level or whatever it is, but those little things to figure out how to get past what you’re stuck with — I love those moments. I love getting through something that doesn’t seem like something I can accomplish.

C: Yeah, and something I wrote down, actually, was that from watching "Roswell" season two, I feel like your character is very jaded and he almost needs stuff proven to him to believe that good things can happen. Which makes sense because of all the shit he’s been through and all the trauma that he’s experienced in his life, but were you ever like that personally? Even after this really traumatic experience happened with your friend, are you more jaded because of all these things that have happened in the last year?

M: You know what? No, I’m not. Maybe I should be but, no. I have a tough time living life without leaving my heart on my sleeve and being vulnerable. I think the beauty is in vulnerability, and I admit that I’m not always good at that. I’m actually realizing I’m really bad at that when it comes to relationships with a woman that I may love. It can be very hard for me to say exactly what I want or what I’m feeling. I don’t know why that is exactly, but when it comes to anything else in life, I can say anything I want, anything I’m feeling — I could spill my guts to the cashier at a gas station and I can be okay with that and who I am. So, no, not jaded. The experience that I had with my friend passing, that has just made me more aware, right? Just knowing that accidents like that, freak accidents, like what happened to him on a boat in the middle of Central America at a time where you didn’t think you had a care in the world — that can be flipped on its head in a second. So, just kind of knowing that and that might mean me looking across the street, left and right an extra time, but just kind of learning from every experience but still moving ahead as if I’m just this kid in this world for the first time, soaking everything in. And if I get hurt, that’s just a part of the process. Me being a masochist for my art, because the more I get hurt in real life, the better my art is. It’s kind of a weird balance. If I wasn’t an actor, maybe I wouldn’t feel that way, but I’ve always been this way even before I started acting in my senior year of college. So, that’s tough. I don’t think I’ve been like Michael Guerin, though, where I’m just reaching for answers all the time. I, in the past, prove to myself that I’m a good person or I’m wanted or that I actually can find success in the things I love. It’s just put the hard hat on and go to work and keep plugging away.

C: Interesting. I think that you have really done a good job of truly just drawing on those experiences then, because you really portray that through Guerin really well. I mean, he’s just so different than you which, I mean, is how acting is supposed to be, I guess, right? [Laughs] I guess I don’t know too much about acting.

M: No, definitely! And maybe we even talked about this in the last interview, but I was always so surprised that Carina MacKenzie, our showrunner, said that, as an actor, I am the most different in real life than I am as my character. It kind of blew my mind! I feel like I am Michael Guerin! I feel like everything Michael Guerin does is exactly how Michael Vlamis would react in a situation, but the difference is, when it comes to acting, the truth I’m bringing is under the circumstances of Michael Guerin. So, what he’s going through is exactly how I would react in those situations, but I’m just not in those situations because that’s not how I think or operate in my life! But if I was to do that, then that is what you would get. So, it doesn’t feel that far off for me because I have all those things in me, that is who I am, a lot of those feelings of anger or jealousy or the feeling of not being loved or proving yourself, being wanted. I have all that stuff, it’s just not coming out on a daily basis because, in life, I like to keep things light for the most part — I like to make jokes all the time, but, deep down, I’m a very serious person who's had to work on anger issues in the past and had to really find balance in how I react to certain situations. The beautiful thing about Guerin is that I can just be the worst parts of me. I can put that on screen because that’s interesting to watch, you know?

C: I’m interested to see you in other stuff. I’m interested to see if your biopic gets made and stuff too, I haven’t seen you in anything else. Or write anything, you know?

M: Well, a lot of people haven’t, which is so funny to me, because I have been doing self-tape auditions right now for movies that are trying to be cast and no idea when production is going to happen, but people are trying to do virtual auditions, trying to fill their cast so that they can go shoot once this pandemic is over. A lot of things I’m auditioning for are comedies, but people are like, “Can he do comedy?” Which is so funny! Comedy is my bread and butter. Comedy is probably what I do better than anything, but people don’t know me as that! They knew me as that initially and that’s why I couldn't even get an audition on "Roswell," because I was the comedy guy, and now I’m, like, the dramatic guy. [Laughs] You always have to prove to people and make them see that you can't be put in a box. It will be very cool for the world to see me acting in other projects and, actually, my first feature film that I produced and starred in called “Five Years Apart” just picked up a distribution deal through an amazing distributor and in the states. We’ve got sales happening in foreign markets right now; we’ve locked up like three territories out of seventeen worldwide and this movie is very special to me. It’s an indie dramatic comedy, pretty much about two estranged brothers coming together over a wild weekend and a very specific incidence happens that forces them together and it’s very funny. It’s a really fun movie. It was a thirteen-day shoot in LA.

C: Wow! That’s not long at all!

M: No, no! It was very quick. We didn’t have a lot of money, you know? A lot of people said that we couldn’t make the movie for double of what we ended up making it for. Everybody who said that to us, these were line producers who have done big, successful movies, and were just doing us a favor with budgeting, and it comes down to that video game mentality again. Oh, you think I can’t make for this much? Okay, watch me make it for half of that and still do a good job! I don’t know, that might be the whole pride aspect — stubbornness, ego or whatever, but I’m very proud of this movie. We won best ensemble cast at the LA Indie Film Fest last year where it premiered and then we recently picked up distribution. Once this pandemic is over that movie should hit screens, hopefully a few theaters, and then some of the streaming platforms. People will see me in a totally different role than Michael Guerin.

C: I can’t wait to see it, that sounds awesome.

M: And then, for the writing, the Mac Miller biopic was the first dramatic screenplay I wrote. It’s funny that the drama that I write gets my writing partner and I all the meetings. We’ve met with some major companies since that script made The Black List, but all the other projects we have are all big studio comedies. We’re even about to finish, here in the pandemic, writing my next movie. We’re about 75% done with that and we’ll have a mob action comedy done within the next few weeks.

C: Oh my god! You’re so productive; it’s insane. It’s so amazing.

M: I just go, go, go, you know? I don’t know if it’s very healthy but it excites me. I live for the excitement. I live for the thrill. I live for the unknown. I was talking to my mom the other day and, I didn’t even know this story, but I guess when we were kids, my sisters and I — if I wanted something, my mom, even before I could really speak, was talking to me, asking questions. She was trying to get me to figure out what I wanted or how to get through a certain situation. If I had a problem with homework and I took it to her, she wouldn’t just do it for me or even just teach me how to do it, she would really push me to figure out how to do it myself. So, I think this feeling that I have really stems from those early days of always having to figure things out on my own. Of course, she would help me if I really, really needed it, but she always made me figure stuff out on my own and I take a lot of pride in that. I like doing that. I don’t know, maybe that’s where the productivity comes or maybe it comes from just not feeling like I’m ever really enough. I don’t actually know, but I know I’ve felt that in certain parts of my life, but I think I’m over that. Yet, the productivity remains.

C: And you can be proud when you make things because you’re actually doing the shit yourself. You’re actually self-made. You didn’t get this stuff handed to you.

M: Yeah, and also, don’t get me wrong, all the work that I do — these are my hobbies. What I do for a living are my hobbies, so I don’t think of it as productivity. I think of it as, this is what I need to do every single day. If I’m not doing something, I feel useless. I’ve had those bouts, and I don’t know if that’s healthy or maybe that is just me. Maybe I am just a born storyteller, that’s what I like to do. I like to sit around with friends, tell stories, hear their stories, figure out the little details that made that story so interesting, and then move on to the next story.

C: I mean, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong or bad to have a lifeline, especially in a time like that. It’s necessary; it’s what keeps us going.

M: Exactly. At the beginning of this quarantine, we were not writing, we were just figuring out our lives — what are these next few months going to look like? I was depressed. Then we started diving into this script every day and, all of a sudden, I have this purpose again. That keeps me going. That’s definitely helpful for my mental health.

C: I feel similarly about projects. I think I do tie a lot of my self-worth into success or self-defined success which isn’t always great, but it keeps me hustling. I’m never just sitting around like, “Oh, what am I gonna do?” I’m doing the shit that’s in my head and I want to make it happen.

M: There’s something very fulfilling about that.

C: I don’t have sympathy for people who just sit around and don’t know how to start living your life.

M: I know! I used to be that way even more but over the years I’ve realized that people didn’t have parents like I had. My dad was very tough on me, but always pushed me to be the best version of myself — both my parents did. Were my dad’s ways the best ways to do it? I don’t know. If you tell a lot of people how my dad was, they might think there’s some problems there, but guess what? It worked for me. I think about it as these other people who maybe aren’t feeling the same way as I am about productivity, whatever it may be, maybe they didn’t have the drive instilled in them from their parents. Immediately they’re at a disadvantage. It’s hard to judge somebody without knowing exactly how they were raised because I’m really realizing as I get older that that has defined who I am so much.

C: That’s true.

M: I don’t know. I mean, I’m 30 years old now. I turned 30 during the quarantine. I’ve experienced loss in a different way. Swimming up to a body floating in the ocean that you think you’re going to turn over and it’s going to be your buddy just making a goof! Just messing around. Pretending he’s floating in the water and then you turn him around and you realize this is way more serious that I thought it ever could’ve been. Living through a moment like that just makes you feel more and more. A lot of people take a step out of their body and they stop feeling because they don’t want to be heartbroken again or hurt. I’m a little bit the other way.

I kind of step up a little more. I think that getting so deep into that story — it’s a weird story to tell, but when my buddy died in Panama, I was the one that found him. I was an all-state swimmer as a kid in elementary school! Like, fifty-yard freestyle! I was very fast. So I’m thinking to myself, okay, he’s in the water, I’m probably the most capable of saving him, should something actually be wrong. I dove overboard into the ocean and swam as fast as I could into a pool of blood. I found my buddy and it was not a pretty sight. We got his body back onto the boat, got him to the hospital on the island, which looked like a rundown motel in East Hollywood, and he didn't have a chance. And then it’s this group of ten guys, some of us have been best friends forever, some of us just meeting for the first time because, maybe, college friends are involved and invited instead of just the high school buddies that grew up together. How these ten guys banned together and were there for each other to contact the family back in the states, let them know what happened, and go to the U.S. Embassy in Panama, talk to the authorities, the police, the doctors, and really step up. It’s just been an amazing, horrible experience — something I wish on nobody.

But it opened me up a lot and surprised me, especially with my buddies from the Southside of Chicago who I would never, ever in a million years thought would go to therapy. Those are the guys that make fun of therapy, right? Even I did at one point growing up. I thought, therapy? Who needs therapy? And then you go and you realize it’s a really healthy thing! I was really ignorant for thinking anything less than how important it is. But those guys are in therapy now and it’s helping them and I thought that that was such a cool thing to come from that experience. These masculine men who have kind of realized that it’s okay to actually be in touch with yourself.

C: Michael, I’m so sorry that that happened to you and it’s a tragedy that no one should have to experience, but I just want to say thanks for being open about it and being willing to talk with me about it. What you’ve learned from it and how you’ve turned it around and used it in your life and in your art is really beautiful.

M: Thank you. I know my buddy would be very proud, if he’s watching or listening, knowing that I try to make the most out of a horrible situation. That was a lot of what was on my mind during the photoshoot for this and the year anniversary just came up. Sometimes I tell that story and laugh. Such a horrific story but I’m laughing because it doesn’t even seem real! Then I go on a socially distant photoshoot on a trail in the middle of nowhere with Davy; when he asked me about it, it caused me to kind of dive into myself and how I’m feeling. I think a lot of those feelings about my buddy…they didn’t go anywhere, you know? No matter how much I mask them, they didn’t go anywhere. I think a lot of that came in the photos that he took. [Davy] definitely has a special touch for getting the truth out of people.

C: I’m honored that you talked to me about it and that I’m gonna get to show these photos on my website. I’m really thankful and I appreciate you.

M: I appreciate you! I love your interviews, they’re always my favorite. The most raw, organic conversations we can have are what I like and that’s what you do. I appreciate that.

C: Thank you for saying that.

M: Of course.

C: Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about while I have you?

M: I think I should thank anyone who’s reading this that has purchased merch from our second season merch line which just wrapped up a couple weeks ago — thank you so much. We beat our numbers from last year. I thought people maybe had enough merch out of me for once, but we crushed our numbers from last year in just a two week span!

C: That’s amazing.

M: It is so amazing! It’s so cool. I think it’s a big testament to my business partner Jesa Joy, who prints all of my merch and softens every single piece so it feels vintage, one of a kind. People got that merch and it could easily be a gimmicky thing, but instead, we’re really making quality clothes starting with Jesa Joy and that’s keeping people coming back. Hopefully, with how open I am on social media, I think that’s resonating with the fans and they appreciate that so the more I give, the more they give. It’s just this beautiful thing that’s setting me up to potentially have my own fashion line one day, maybe take it from merch to fashion, and that’s a goal of mine for many years down the road. The fact that all of my fans are so supportive and just totally understand my humor and what I’m doing means the world to me. It’s just a really cool thing to see and find success in. Otherwise, I pitched for that TV show, one of my childhood idols, one of the biggest comedic actors of all time, and we’re trying to get him attached to my show. He might say no and that’s totally okay because we got him laughing! He was laughing throughout our pitch yesterday and it felt so special. So, maybe, if we did this interview in a week, I’d have amazing news or maybe I would be bummed out because the guy doesn’t get attached to the show. Either way, it’s been experiences like that, little moments where you’re down, you’re out, you’re feeling depressed, and then you’re making a childhood hero of yours laugh over a zoom pitch. Moments like that have really helped me through quarantine — finding those small, little wins every now and then.

C: The wins are important.

M: And the win isn’t that you win! It’s not the outcome, it’s the process which I always thought was such bullshit. “Trust the process,” and I didn’t want to trust the process! I wanted to make the process! That’s not possible, you know? It’s only possible to a certain extent, you really have to let things play out as they want to and I’m finding the wins in letting things play out the way the universe wants them to.

[prkrnichols]

“DUDEEEEE... you’ve got like 1000 views!!” Yep... ‘Step-sister from HELL gets pranked with tarantula,’ was a real seller. After the success of his previous video titled ‘Annoying brother pisses himself THE HOT WATER TRICK,’ the fifteen-year-old Notre Dame student had been in search for his next victim-- uh.. talent. Which had at first proved difficult, because really Max pissing himself had been, so fucking great... was anything ever going to be able to beat it? Cue in stage right, Tahnee ‘Devil’ Conrad. Originally he hadn’t even thought about filming the incident... too caught up in the idea that the new girl living under their roof was the devil reincarnated or Devil’s kid or whatever Sam Neil had once played in that movie Parker had shown him and Max and Max had cried like a baby in... pussy. So, yeah... when his brother had sneaked into the bathroom alone (thanks, asshole) living him all by himself to do whatever he pleased, you could say a lightbulb moment had happened... as the curly hair brunette grabbed out his phone, hid it amongst his brother’s pillows and pressed record. The result? Sheer brilliance. He’d even been willing to share his ad profits with Parker, after he’d edited the entire thing, but that had been before his brother had showed up in his room the other day, talked some shit about an upcoming X Games Snowboarding Half-Pipe event... and how they should totally watch it together... while also slipping in the fact they should also totally stop messing with Tahnee... !?!? .... !?!?!?!?!!?!?!?.... and WHAT thE HELL! At first he’d thought that his brother had been blackmailed... even told him to use the morse code they’d taught each other over the years to spell it out in blinks... but nope... just... pure... traitor like stuff. His brother had been turned to the dark side. 

Something that had put him in a helluva of a bad mood all week long... “remember to share it on your Instagram, bro... gotta get this out there...” There would be no mercy. “Boys... BOYS...” his head turned.. spinning around to face his teacher Mrs. Norris, as she waved them into one of the bigger rooms in the Aquarium for their lesson on --- oh whatever he was too mad at Parker at the moment to care about silly things like school. His destiny didn’t lie in academics anyway and everyone in his family knew that... well maybe not his mom... but she’d eventually come around to it... he’d give her the time to. He was nice like that. Sitting down next to Bodhi, Jace and Craig, Brenden let his backpack slide down off his back as he kicked his legs up on the rail and waited for someone from the aquarium to do their annoying spiel about whatever marine life they had a hard-on for today. BUT WAIT A FUCKING SECOND... wasn’t that Bradley? As in Tahnee’s Bradley... oh fantastic. He’d always been planning on giving the aquarium nerd a lot of shit... but now that it was Brad... “Excuse me... excuse me... is it true that Octopuses will cut off their own dicks to throw at unsuspecting Ocotopussy?” The entire room erupted into laughter... as Brenden got his first warning from his teacher about language... “Uh let’s keep this lesson about sea cucumbers...” Oh, yeah Tahnee... you’ve hit the jackpot with this one... 

The entire lesson was a snore fest and by the time it was done, Brenden had been so eager to get out of there and back home that he’d left his backpack behind. Letting out a loud and frustrated sigh as he’d neared his mother’s Mercedes, Brenden spun back around on his heels... “be right back...” running back inside the aquarium at speeds that would put Usain Bolt to shame... before slowing down completely because oooo the aquarium was kind of a cool place when no one was around-- and also maybe security had pulled him up on it too. Walking back into the room that his class had been in earlier, Brenden had just locked eyes on his backpack and had been about to go over and retrieve it when he’d heard Bradley talking to someone... slinking back against the wall... he stayed quiet. He’d learned a longtime ago that when people didn’t know they were being watched by someone who actually knew them... they did a ton of crazy ass shit... but who was Bradley talking to? He snuck his head just around the corner... oh shit... it was that girl that he’d been flirting with all day. Some chick that worked at the Aquarium and that Brenden had def got some vibes that Bradley was into her, which could he blame him? Who wouldn’t want to find someone better to date than Tahnee? Though still... low blow... and maybe he could like break up with her first before he flirted-- OH SHIT... KISSED... he was fucking KISSING her... and no NO WAY... he watched as they pulled apart Bradley dangling some keys in front of her and her smiling and nodding and what? Was he about to take her into some octopus feeding room to eat her out or something? He could feel the bile rising up in his throat at the thought. Thankfully the keys had got them both back out of the room and he was able to grab his bag and run back outside to where his mom was parked. She was giving him a whole talk about being more organised or whatever... but he just couldn’t get what he’d just seen and heard out of his head... 

AND sure... he’d thought about doing the right thing...which was weird... but this whole thing was weird and something about it just didn’t sit right with the teen. BUT that had been before dinner had started and he was sat across Parker and Tahnee, who were what? Okay with sitting elbow to elbow with one another now? What the hell had he missed? When the hell had his favorite person in the entire world (outside of Gloria) become best friends with the ‘she-devil’ herself? It had to be voodoo or black magic or something, right? He couldn’t actually ‘like’ Tahnee Conrad, could he? He flicked the calamari his mother had ordered for everyone around on his plate... burying it under some cous cous while he was at it... “Hey Tay... when did you and Bradley break-up?” He could feel everyone’s eyes on him but he was used to that and well he liked life in the limelight anyway. “I just... I thought you were still a thing... or something...” He stopped... his eyes flicking over to Tay’s dad as he turned his attention to his daughter, “you two broke up? When did that happen?” Was he smirking already? No, no... he needed to hold it off just a little while longer... he wasn’t there yet... and if he blew it now he’d never get the result he wanted, which was to cause as much pain for the blonde that she’d caused him when she’d stolen Parker from him. 

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff?: Billy Dilley’s Super Duper Subterranean Adventure

WARNING: If you ever find my doppleganger, treat him well. He’s been traumatized. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

It’s a Super Pooper Scooper Booper Duper Adventure starring Bradley “Sly” Cooper

Aaron Springer is a pretty swell guy with a great resume on his hands. He’s worked on the best era Spongebob, he had a hand in great shows like Dexter’s Lab, Samurai Jack, Gravity Falls, Billy & Mandy, the likes, and he’s created a few original cuts that reasonably could not get picked up, like Korgoth of Babaria or my personal favorite, Periwinkle Around the World; a Mr. Bean-esque road trip extravaganza.

I’d say his Cartoonstitute short perfectly captures Springer’s preference for the bizarre

All in all, Billy Dilley’s Super-Duper,...Oh my god, this feels long, Subterranean Adventure is a genuine batch of looney tune silliness to enjoy. Taking place in a mucky cesspool near the Earth’s Core, scientific wiz Billy Dilley, his two new friends, and his rat must survive the subterranean world while fixing the big drill that got them there in the first place. It’s Sam and Max meets Planet Sheen. Wait, nobody remembers Planet Sheen. ANY WHO. These friends include Zeke, voiced by Ice King whenever he’s drunk tired, and Marsha, voiced surprisingly by what was once a Youtube vlogger named Boxxy back when Youtube was home to Youtube Poop, Eddsworld, and 3-part pirated cartoons under 360p resolution. She sounds nice. And, of course there’s Anaximander, a chill ass rat.

Like man, nothing beats a chill ass rat; it’s science

I really love the characters’ looks, reminds me of the Baby Blues comics before I remember it had a pretty tasteless cartoon, and the animating timing is something reminiscent of past comedies like Chowder or Misadventures of Flapjack. To be fair, I wasn’t too optimistic for this show; it looked like something I could watch lying on me back with loud sobbing and just felt like a oblong brother of Pickle and Peanut. I’m not that wrong, as this never feels like its trying hard to entertain you, and that’s why I mentioned Aaron Springer first off. His style in cartoon making is casual with an acute, sharp sense of bewilderment, and I do get hooked in seeing what could happen next. However, I think this is trying to be more out there while still being a Disney product, like Right Now Kapow which is also great, but unlike Springer’s Korgoth of Babaria, it restrains itself from truly getting anywhere beyond its cheeky “for kids” randomness. And I afraid I must point a finger at Billy Dilley and his WILLEY! hehe, willey

Hehehe, simple masculinity

Continuing, with talk of Billy Dill Pickle and his “big” adventure, I can be pretty annoyed towards him whenever the focus is much on him. Maybe it’s the voice, and I was fine with him at the beginning, but something about his character just feels off putting and hit or miss while knowing he’s the star of the show. Wait a sec, his voice. It’s a mocking voice, I swear. Yeah, this show isn’t that special or good. If you’re main character has a snarky nyeh-nyeh voice that’s his only one, then you know this series isn’t gonna speak well with audiences of any kind. So yeah, this show isn’t that good. It’s average. Par. Corner cutter. Decent doo doo. A place to fill the day...

Yeah, I’m trying to be positive here but I slowly see that my writing here is killing itself with each negative I find about Disney cutting corners with this to fill in a time slot while reruns and live action shows barely anybody watch take their place and I honestly can’t say this show is terrible, it’s merely white noise for kids to laugh at and Disney to make money off of their target demographic...

But, if you all are still waiting for Milo Murphy’s Law, Tangled, Hotel Transylvania the Series, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Penn Zero, Ducktales, or ANYTHING else, this is at least still a fair cartoon to watch. It has laffs(?), it has good(?) characters, and more than enough writers to keep things appealing as time passes. By next week the full season will be done and nobody will really give a shit, so basically it’s new, it’s there, it’s (probably) binge worthy, and it’s better than Pickle and Peanut, so it deserve a good chance. Now, this is coming from a man who is obviously overtly optimistic and remembers Captain Underpants too well, but my word is solid and it’s better than... other shows. So yeah, give this a shot? Also, go see Captain Underpants in theaters.

I am going to see Captain Underpants in theaters

[farfromdaylight]

beat andromeda! spoilers follow, obviously.

i really enjoyed it! i imagine it'll get some flak, but it's a mass effect ending so :') that's to be expected. honestly, i really just enjoyed that all of the NPCs i'd interacted with were a part of the mission! it reminded me a lot of me3, and obviously took inspiration from it, and in some ways it was as important (since, well, it was a Big Deal for the cluster) but also the stakes in me3 were very high, and couldn't really be matched in this single game.

i also FUCKING LAUGHED when i saw the architect-like-thing at the end. I FUCKING KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO BE A PART OF THE MAIN PLOT. I FUCKING KNEW IT. honestly the final battle wasn't hard as much as it was tedious

I SUPER LIKED THE STUFF WITH SCOTT, ACTUALLY, although it was. pretty obvious lmao i knew the stuff with SAM was going to come to a head and THIS IS WHY, CLEARLY. it was also very terrifying going from level 50 to LEVEL FUCKING ONE and only having a fucking pistol to shoot kett with, oh my god. oh my god.

(seriously my ryder has a high-powered sniper rifle and my skills are min-maxed to optimize it, getting stuck in scott was just like HOLY SHIT, WHY THIS)

rather annoyingly my game clear achievement has not popped. THANKS XBOX. my achievements have been so dicey lately. i could probably try and replay the last mission but fuckin hell it was so long, i dont wanna. weeps.

i REALLY enjoyed the epilogue scene after the credits; my favorite part of mass effect 2's ending was the fact that, well, it didn't just end! i could go talk to everyone afterwards! and they had stuff to say!!! i loved that so much. it was what i had always wanted in an RPG: my party members to actually give their opinion on the final battle. so i'm really glad that scene happened.

the bit about picking an ambassador felt like a udina/anderson choice all over again (and it totally was); i went with bradley after some hesitation mostly because he's been a solid dude. very helpful in liam's loyalty mission, helped me out on some other sidequests, proven he knows what's what. i did consider pathfinder hayjer but was swayed by the somewhat negative response by the nexus folks, and also the fact that hayjer has very little experience.

all in all, i think this game took inspiration from every game in the original trilogy -- me1's structure and explorable worlds, me2's loyalty missions/cast, me3's side missions -- and made it its own thing. it's not a perfect result, but that makes it just like every other mass effect game, honestly.

i think my biggest issue with the story is that it feels a bit unfinished. this game draws a lot of inspiration from mass effect 1, and in me1, while you don't get the whole story about the reapers in the first game, you get the basics: you learn about what they are, you learn that sovereign is the first of many, you go to ilos and learn a lot about what happened to the protheans. you really do get a lot of information! and it's all wrapped up in saren, and the plotline itself finishes in that game while leaving itself open to be continued.

i always look back to me1 when talking about mass effect's story because it really is the most cohesive, and it's evident when you look at mea's. mea asks a lot of questions that aren't answered in this game. who are the jardaan? why did they build the remnant? where are they now? who is the benefactor? where are they now? and so forth. these are all questions that the game leads you do, and then provides nothing further.

i'm tired so at this point this is very disconnected, but i'm sad that the quarian ark never did show up in this game. i hope that there's a DLC mission to find out what's up with them. i was really hoping that the message about it would spawn a mission, but no dice. this game lacked a bunch of my favorite species. quarian! hanar! volus!!!! seriously if there were krogan all over this game but no krogan ark you could have given me a volus.

all told, though, i really, really enjoyed this game. i have a hard time ranking the mass effect games (i'm biased towards 1, but i do really need to replay 2 and 3), but i really loved this game. i fucking loved getting to explore all these planets. i also absolutely loved how MUCH there was to do. i loved how long this game was, and how enjoyable all of the quests were. seriously, this game flew by. if i could erase my memories and play it all from scratch it absolutely would. it was that good.

ahhh, mass effect.

[comedianstalkingbaseball]

The Greatest Single-Game Hitting Performances of the Decade

You ever think it’s weird that we usually only celebrate individual game performances from pitchers? Everybody loves a no-hitter or a perfect game or some big strikeout total. Even an immaculate inning gets attention. But it’s much more rare that we talk about individual hitting in a game. Well, a stat exists for that. And so here are the 10 greatest single-game hitting performances of 2010-2018. Enjoy. 

10. Nolan Arenado. July 19, 2017. Rockies beat Padres 18-4.

Nolan Arenado doesn’t like days off. And to prove how grouchy he was about being sat the day before, Arenado went 5-for-6 with three home runs, 7 RBI and four runs scored. He said his only out (he lined out in the 8th) was when he was trying to hit a home run. Go figure. 

9. Mark Reynolds. July 7, 2018. Nationals beat Marlins 18-4.

Hey, you think 18 runs is enough run support for Max Scherzer? Good Lord. In this game, Reynolds went 5-for-5 with two home runs, a double and 10 RBI. He also scored three runs. He was only the 15th player in baseball history to collect 10 RBI in a game. And the only two performances the beat writers seemed to want to compare it to... come later on in the list.   

8. Jackie Bradley Jr. August 15, 2015. Red Sox beat Mariners 22-10.

With manager John Farrell on medical leave, the Red Sox decided to absolutely manhandle the Seattle Mariners. The best performance of all came from their 9-hole. Bradley went 5-for-6, with two home runs, three doubles, 7 RBI and five runs scored. At 25, Bradley also became the youngest player to ever collect five extra-base hits in a game. Pretty good for a guy who was A) facing Felix Hernandez and B) spending time in the minors the same season. 

7. Kris Bryant. June 27, 2016. Cubs beat the Reds 11-8. 

Imagine going 5-for-5 with two doubles and three bombs, being the first player in baseball history to do that specific feat, and then when thousands of Cubs fans are calling for you to take a curtain call, you refuse. The only problem for Kris Bryant in that scenario is that the Cubs weren’t playing at Wrigley Field on his giant day, which also included 6 RBI and 4 runs scored. The Cubbie faithful were trying to get a curtain call in Cincinnati. That’s how excited Cubs fans were in 2016. And as it turns out, they were right to be excited. 

6. Matt Carpenter. July 20, 2018. Cardinals beat the Cubs 18-5. 

The Cubs had been hot. So was Matt Carpenter. And on this particular day at Wrigley Field, Carpenter went 5-for-5 with 3 home runs, 2 doubles, 7 RBI and 4 runs scored. And he did all that in six innings before being pulled. Carpenter became only the 14th player in MLB history with 5 extra-base hits in a game. He joined Kris Bryant (who also homered in this game) as the only players in history to get 3 homers and 2 doubles in a game. Oh, and the Cubs had a double header on the horizon, so Joe Madden eventually used position players, Tommy La Stella, Victor Caratini and Ian Happ to pitch. So they were also the first team since the ‘79 Brewers to use three position players on the mound in a game. Yuck.   

5. Yoenis Cespedes. August 21, 2015. Mets beat Rockies 14-9. 

Acquiring Yoenis Cespedes at the trade deadline was a major reason the Mets went to the World Series in 2015. His best game that year came on a night that balls were flying out of Coors Field. The game had 8 home runs, but three of them (including a grand slam) came off the bat of Cespedes. In the game, he went 5-for-6 with 7 RBI and 5 runs scored. Yeah. I’d say it was a pretty good trade for the Mets.

4. Lonnie Chisenhall. June 9, 2014. Indians beat Rangers 17-7.

Nobody in baseball had hit 3 home runs, had 5 hits and 9 RBI in a game since Fred Lynn in 1975. And nobody in baseball history had ever gone 5-for-5 with 9 RBI. Then Lonnie Chisenhall faced the Rangers. In the game, Chisenhall went 5-for-5, with 3 homers and a double, collected 9 RBI, and scored 3 runs. That season, he had a career high... with 13 home runs. 

3. Josh Hamilton. May 8, 2012. Rangers beat the Orioles 10-3. 

Man, Hamilton was good. Just two years removed from his MVP season (and struggling with a relapse before the start of the 2012 season), Hamilton went yard 4 times off the Orioles (and twice off Jake Arrieta), who had the best record in baseball up to that point. It was the 16th 4-homer game in baseball history and the first since Carlos Delgado accomplished the feat in 2003. And since he homered the game before, Hamilton actually homered in 5-of-6 at-bats. The non-home run was a double. Jesus Christ. He ended the game going 5-for-5, with 4 homers, a double, 8 RBI and 4 runs scored. His 18 total bases became the new single-game record in the American League. Josh Hamilton was fucking good.   

2. Scooter Gennett. June 6, 2017. Reds beat the Cardinals 13-1. 

You know you had a good game when you have to send your entire uniform to Cooperstown. Gennett singled in his first at-bat. And then he homered his next four times up, including a grand slam, becoming only the 17th player to hit four home runs in a single game. The last to do it was Josh Hamilton in 2012 and the last National Leaguer to do it was Shawn Green in 2002. And only 7 other players had homered in four consecutive at-bats. Even better, Gennett did it in his hometown of Cincinnati. And probably the best part is that the 5-10, 185 lb Gennett was probably the least-likely of players to have that type of homer outburst. But still, this happened. Gennett went 5-for-5 with 4 HR, 10 RBI (which tied a franchise record) and scored four runs.     

1. Anthony Rendon. April 30, 2017. Nationals beat the Mets 23-5.

Rendon entered this early season game with no home runs and five RBI to his name. Then his entire team took advantage of Noah Syndergaard leaving early with an injury, and set an all-time franchise record (Expos included) for scoring in a single game. Rendon went 6-for-6 with 3 home runs, a double, and 10 RBI. He also scored 5 times. In the process, Rendon became just the 13th player in MLB history to collect 10 RBI or more in a game and was the first to do it since 2007. One of his home runs was off of the Mets’ backup catcher, Kevin Plawecki. Just because, you know, shit was getting ridiculous.    

[placetobenation]

After months of ups and downs, highs and lows, cheers and boos for your favorite (or not-so-favorite) teams, the 2018 Major League Baseball season winds to a close with the World Series. This year’s edition is the 114th Fall Classic, with the American League champion Boston Red Sox squaring off against the National League representative Los Angeles Dodgers.

One of the most wonderful things about baseball is its unpredictability and how just one bounce, one strong throw, one great pitch, can turn around an at-bat, an inning, a game, and even a World Series.

There’s no doubt we will see some magic on display over the next few games.

The 2018 World Series will be the first October meeting of the Red Sox and Dodgers since 1916.

History:

The 2018 World Series represents the 13th American League pennant for the Red Sox and gives the team a chance to pick up its ninth World Championship. The team’s most recent World Series win came in 2013 when Boston defeated the St. Louis Cardinals, four games to two. Boston’s first World Series appearance came in the inaugural “modern” version of the event, a best-of-nine showdown between the Boston Americans and the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1903.

For Los Angeles, this is the team’s 23rd pennant in the National League and a World Series win would net the team its seventh title. Despite a great deal of recent success, the Dodgers’ last World Championship win came 30 years ago in 1988 with a win in five games over the Oakland Athletics. For the Dodgers, their first World Series was in 1916, when the team was known as the Brooklyn Robins, where they lost four games to one, to…of course, the Boston Red Sox!

This is the first Fall Classic meeting between the two franchises since that 1916 matchup. 

In 1916, the Dodgers were called the “Robins” and the team was based in Brooklyn. Also, Boston employed some guy named George Herman Ruth.

How They Got Here:

The Red Sox won the American League East by eight games over the New York Yankees, with Boston posting the best record in baseball at 108-54. In the American League Division Series, Boston toppled the Yankees three games to one. They went beat the Houston Astros in the American League Championship Series four games to one.

The Dodgers triumphed in a Game 163 playoff against the Colorado Rockies to win the National League West with a 92-71 record. In the subsequent National League Division Series, LA defeated the Atlanta Braves three games to one before toppling the Milwaukee Brewers in a fantastic seven-game National League Championship Series.

Series skipper Alex Cora (13, L) and Dave Roberts (30, R) are former teammates with both the Dodgers and Red Sox. Now they face off in the Fall Classic for the first time.

Breakdown:

Boston dominated on offense, leading the majors with 5.41 runs scored per game (876 runs scored; 829 runs batted in). The team also led MLB in hits (1,509), doubles (355), average (.268), on-base percentage (.339), slugging (.439), and total bases (2,550). A real juggernaut here, folks.

Offensively, the team was led by right fielder Mookie Betts, designated hitter JD Martinez, and a superb supporting cast of shortstop Xander Bogaerts, third baseman Rafael Devers, and left fielder Andrew Benintendi. Lineup-fillers Mitch Moreland (at first), Jackie Bradley, Jr. (in center), Eduardo Nunez (at second*), and backstop Sandy Leon each have their merits, but it’s the stars that drive this lineup.

Depth is also important in the postseason and while Boston’s bench does not inspire fear, there are guys capable of giving Cora late-inning flexibility and delivering big hits when needed. Veterans Brock Holt, Ian Kinsler, and Steve Pearce could all come in handy.

*Boston is leaning towards putting Betts at second during National League games in Dodger Stadium in order to get Martinez in the lineup as the right fielder. It’s a ding on defense at both positions, but the offensive uptick may be worthwhile.

JD Martinez’s first season in Boston has been an unqualified success for the former Tigers slugger.

Los Angeles was first in the NL, and fifth overall, with 4.93 runs scored per game on 804 runs scored (756 batted in). The Dodgers had 1,394 hits, including 296 doubles and a second-in-MLB 235 home runs. The team slashed .250/.333/.442 for an NL-leading .774 OPS which trailed only the Yankees and Red Sox. It’s a strong-but-not-spectacular offense.

There is power up-and-down the lineup, led by surprise breakout Max Muncy’s 35 round-trippers. With a resurgent Matt Kemp (21 homers) and the versatility of Cody Bellinger (25), Enrique Hernandez (21), outfielders, Joc Pederson (25) and Yasiel Puig (23), along with catcher Yasmani Grandal (24), along with Justin Turner (17), Swiss Army knife Chris Taylor (17), and midseason pickup Manny Machado (13 homers in LA), the Dodgers boast a lot of power throughout the lineup, but no true superstars like Betts or Martinez. Still, a hot week from one or two of these sluggers could carry the team.

Max Muncy came seemingly out of nowhere to lead the Dodgers with 35 home runs and help the team capture another pennant.

The Dodgers have versatility all over the place with a very athletic squad, giving manager Dave Roberts a lot of options for who to play where and when. The bench bats include backstop Austin Barnes*, infielders Chase Utley and Brian Dozier, and outfielder Alex Verdugo. That is not including a couple of the above-mentioned starters who will likely be rotated in-and-out.

* Barnes is the nominal starter at this point because of his superior defense, but Grandal accrued 518 regular-season plate appearances, so expect to see them both behind the dish for LA at some point, with Barnes getting the bulk of the time overall.

Advantage: Boston Red Sox

On the pitching side of things, the BoSox were seventh overall with a 3.75 ERA and hits allowed (1,305), with 1,558 staff strikeouts against 512 walks. Advanced stats have Boston’s moundsmen just a hair worse with a 3.82 FIP, but overall the team still posted a solid 117 ERA+. In a time when “starter” or “reliever” has never been more blurry, the Boston starters posted a 3.77 ERA in 871 ⅓ innings, while the bullpen made a 3.72 ERA in 581 1./3 frames. If the Red Sox have a weakness, it’s on the mound late in games.

Sox starter David Price had been 0-8 in his career postseason ledger before Boston’s Game 5 win over Houston.

The Red Sox’s rotation of Chris Sale, David Price, Rick Porcello, and Nathan Eovaldi is a strong and capable unit, although every hurler listed has some kryptonite. The goal for the Dodgers should be to try to break into the Boston bullpen early and often.

Speaking of the Boston bullpen, closer Craig Kimbrel was fantastic with a 2.74 ERA and 96 punchouts in 62 ⅓ innings. The rest of Boston’s crew was, less than good, I guess. “key” setup men Joe Kelly (4.39) and Matt Barnes (3.65) both posted ERAs more in line with middle men than elite arms, while Brian Johnson (4.17) and Heath Hembree (4.20) were both serviceable. The second-best Sox reliever is probably Hector “Who?” Velazquez (3.18 in 85 innings) or Ryan Brasier (1.60 in 33 ⅔) frames.

Meanwhile, the Dodgers’ strength is, as usual, pitching. A staff ERA of 3.38 was second in MLB to Houston, while the team had a 3.60 FIP to go with a 115 ERA+. The team as a whole struck out 1,5656 batters (good for third in MLB) against just 422 walks. LA’s starting staff logged a 3.19 ERA in 894 ⅔ innings, while its bullpen had a 3.72 mark in 581 ⅓ innings. As with Boston, the Dodgers have a good bullpen, but it also the team’s weakest point.

This World Series will mark Clayton Kershaw’s FIRST-EVER start at Fenway Park.

Staff ace Clayton Kershaw turned in a fine, but injury-shortened season this year, but actually rose his career ERA with a 2.73 mark. Backed by fellow lefties Rich Hill and Alex Wood, along with rookie standout Walker Buehler, Kenta Maeda, and Ross Stripling, Kershaw is looking to shake his rep as a “poor” postseason pitcher (4.09 ERA in 28 games). Los Angeles has more starting depth than Boston, and in a short series where traditional roles often get tossed aside, it could prove a difference maker for the Boys in Blue.

LA’s relief corps is led by Kenley Jansen, the closer who had a down year with a 3.01 ERA. Along with key lefty Scott Alexander, fellow port-siders Hyun-Jin Ryu and Caleb Ferguson, as well as righties Dylan Floro, Pedro Baez, Daniel Hudson, Josh Fields, with another name or two from the starters already listed, this is a very deep bullpen. As long as Roberts resists the urge to use every tool in his kit and doesn’t get too cute with over-management, the Dodgers have a potential edge here.

Advantage: Boston on starters; Los Angeles on bullpen

On defense, both teams display flashes of greatness but are solid-not-special around the field. Both teams largely are made up of good defenders who make their living with the bat. While Boston features a fantastic center fielder in JBJ, and a great right fielder in Betts, any change to that alignment (i.e., putting JD Mart out there) is giving up outs in the field for potential at the plate.

The Dodgers do not have any standouts on defense, but the athleticism and versatility of the team, in particular Bellinger, Muncy, Hernandez, and Taylor, provide the team with great gloves when needed.

Advantage: Push, unless Martinez trots out to right field, or Kemp makes his way to center field.

Prediction:

This is going to be a great series either way you go, with a pair of perennial contenders slugging it out. The “advantages” given here are mostly slight ones, and it could simply come down to a hot hand, a poor managerial decision, a shit replay call, or any number of small things which decide this year’s World Series.

Let’s go LA in seven.