#matt's face as well...my god...he Truly knew he was Cooked

[boyjoan]

looking back nothing will allow me to experience the euphoria of dominic sherwood calling matt daddario a fag, not knowing he was on instagram live . in the middle of their anti bullying campaign. like. even the memory is like cocaine to me

[wrenhyperfixates]

Of All the Places

Chapter 5

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: Washing up in a small town in Oklahoma was definitely not part of Loki’s plan when he came to conquer Midgard. There is one good thing about it, though: No one recognizes him as the one who just wreaked havoc in New York. So, Loki plans to recover from the battle and move on with his life. The only problem? He’s not sure he can leave you. Chapter Summary: The arrival of someone from your life before Loki knew you throws his head into a tailspin. He finally has to come face to face with his emotions. Chapter Warnings: a lot of sarcasm, tiny bit of angst, and fluff A/N: Thanks to everyone who’s been reading and/or chatting to me. I love hearing your thoughts on this, and I hope you enjoy the latest installment :) Updates every Friday.

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiantfavs​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​

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Disclaimer: Gif not mine

The sun beat down on Loki as he handed the carefully packaged eggs to the customer he was helping. It was the first time since his arrival on the farm that you were participating in a local farmer’s market, and he was doing his best to assist despite his less than ideal people skills.

“Have a nice day,” you called after the man as he walked away. “I’ll tell you one thing about your life, Loki. There is absolutely no way you worked in customer service.”

“No, I suppose not,” he agreed with a chuckle.

“Speaking of, you haven’t remembered anything else, have you?”

“I have not, but if I do, I promise you will be the first to know.”

“Mama’s not entirely wrong about the missing person ad,” Ana chimed in, taking the jam jar Matt had just picked up out of his hands. “It couldn’t hurt. Though I can think of a few reasons why you might not want to do it.”

Loki looked away as his cheeks flushed. He was thankful you were already with another customer by the time Ana made a little heart in the air around your heads. It seemed that she had gotten the same crazy idea that John had that he had fallen for you. If only they knew he was a god, then certainly they wouldn’t have reached such an outlandish conclusion. At least, he supposed, they did not know the true reason he wanted to avoid putting his picture out there, for if they did, he was sure they’d never look at him the same way again. Why that should even matter to him was one question he had yet to answer.

“Well, perhaps when Papa finds that camera,” Loki lied.

“Mhm. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Are you leaving?” Matt asked, tugging on Loki’s pants. “I don’t want you to.”

“I know, small one. Do not worry, I am staying put for now,” Loki said as he bent down to the boy’s height.

“Yay! More play time!”

“Indeed,” Loki laughed.

In the past few days, Papa had declared him an official farmhand and offered him a salary for his help. The trickster god declined at first, insisting that the lodgings and hospitality he’d been given were far more than enough. But, in the battle of the wills, Papa came out victorious, and Loki accepted a modest salary. His position, however, was little more than a glorified babysitter, not that he particularly minded. Everyone still seemed too nervous he was going to fall over and die at any given minute to assign him many real tasks. He still collected the eggs daily, and was being taught to milk the cows, along with a few other simple tasks. In addition, he was taking some cooking lessons with Papa. His attempt at pancakes did not go too well, but you reassured him it was a great first try, something that made him beam with pride.

One thing he wasn’t particularly fond of, however, was getting up so early. Though you’d all told him it was fine if he wanted to sleep in while he was still recovering, he felt bad to take you up on the offer. He was, after all, fully healed whether you knew it or not. And if he was accepting pay, he should have to be up as early as anyone else. Still, a part of him longed for his beauty sleep.

“Well, fancy running into you here,” a deep, unfamiliar voice said.

“Denzel?” you asked in a mix of shock and surprise. “Is that you?”

“Sure is, darlin’. Long time no see.”

“Uh, yeah. When did you get back?”

“Just last night. I was hoping to see you here. And it seems I’ve forgotten my manners. Who’s this?” he asked, nodding his head at the God of Mischief.

“Loki,” he replied, reluctantly extending his hand for a shake. “Charmed, I am sure.”

“Yeah, right. Nice to meet you, too. I’m Denzel. You new around here?” he questioned, sizing up Loki.

The raven haired god wasn’t exactly sure what it was about this man, but he rubbed him the wrong way. There was nothing particularly malicious about him, but the look in his eye sparked something in Loki’s chest. In a sudden panicked thought, he wondered if this Denzel person had recognized him. If so, he’d have to make a quick getaway, teleportation the only option. He wondered for a split second if he could grab your hand and take you with him, but he knew that wouldn’t be fair to you. Then again, nothing about this particularly was.

“Yes. You see, I have tragically lost my memory, but I was lucky enough to be taken in by this kind family,” Loki said.

“Interesting. But you remember your name?”

“Oh yes, I remember simple, everyday things, such as my name or, say, how to use a seatbelt. Something so simple surely would stay in everyone’s mind,” he joked, shooting a look at you as a huge smile made its way onto your face. You hid your laugh at the inside joke behind a hand. “Very odd how that works, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Like I said, interesting. Anyway,” he changed the subject, turning to you, “I was hoping to talk. Do you think we could maybe take a quick walk?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Can you guys hold the fort down?”

“Of course, honey,” Ana said, giving your arm a quick squeeze. “Take your time.”

You were off before Loki had any time to protest, but he kept up a cool facade as the next customer walked up to the booth. Once he finished, he put his elbow on the table and, slumping down in defeat, rested his head in his hand.

“Who was that Denzel character, anyway?” he asked your sister as his nose involuntarily wrinkled in distaste.

“Listen, don’t tell them I told you this, but he’s their ex.”

“Well, what happened? Did he hurt them?” he further inquired, perking up at the new information.

“Distance, I guess. He was a great guy, really, but it just didn’t work out. He just finished studying to be a doctor, actually. So he might be back in town for good. But,” she added, noticing the disappointment etched onto Loki’s features, “that doesn’t mean they’re getting back together or anything. It’s been a while. I really do think they moved on.”

“Do you not have that saying here, though? Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Or something else equally ridiculous as that.”

“Well, yes, that is a saying. But not from here, as in Oklahoma here. It’s kinda well known.”

“I am aware. I just meant... Oh never mind!” he quit in exasperation, a mood Ana chalked up to Denzel’s sudden arrival.

Loki tried to use his height to his advantage and spot you in the crowd, but no such luck. You were too far gone, away with Denzel, your ex. Someone who, Loki had to admit, was very pretty and smart and charming. But certainly he—Loki of Asgard, God of Mischief and Lies, rightful heir to not one, but two thrones—was prettier than this mere mortal. And smarter than this insipid fool. And far more charming than this bumbling oaf. Right? Or was he truly just the cold, chaotic, horrific, monstrous villain so many thought he was? Though, really, why should any of it matter to him?

In that moment, the answer finally hit him. He could never acknowledge it, though. It would only lead to pain and heartache for all involved. Not to mention terrible danger for you. But, if he were to allow himself just one peaceful second of bliss, he could imagine he was not a god, not a fugitive, but just a simple man. Just someone who could be able to love you and provide for you without any complications from his past misdeeds. If he could allow that, then he would admit he had feelings for you. But he can’t so he won’t. He’d let his inner demons have their way and only ever admire you from afar, accepting your friendship for what it was and nothing more. Though, if you were to make the first move, then perhaps things would be different. That, however, was an entirely unlikely course of events.

“Loki? Are you oki doki?” Matt asked, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Maybe you need a cookie.”

“I am fine, little one,” he said, laughing despite himself. “Thank you very much for asking.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a cookie?”

“Well, I suppose it could not hurt. What do you say? Would you like one?”

“Yes, please!”

You and Denzel reappeared just then, and Loki was suddenly very desperate to escape. He took Matt’s hand in his and informed Ana where he was off to with the child. She gave Loki a grateful smile for indulging her son and sent them on their way with a few dollars to purchase the sweets.

On the way to the booth with the most heavenly smell, Loki’s thoughts overtook him once again. He recalled his plan from when he’d first arrived; lie low and heal and then be off to Asgard. Off to claim the throne which technically should have been his. Really, it was not entirely his fault that his brother had been banished when the king fell into Odinsleep. And it wasn’t like he caused that either. No, his “father” confessed he’d been lying to him to all his life and then left him to deal with it by himself. And he was next in line for the throne at the time, but apparently he shouldn’t have taken it. Obviously, it was all perfect logic from the brain of Odin once again. And, yes, he would admit he made some mistakes. That was the sign of a true leader. But he was doing the best he could with the hand he’d been dealt. And perhaps the most frustrating part was he was starting to realize he liked this simple town better than any of that. That he didn’t actually want to leave, after all.

One short wait in line later, Loki pulled himself from the dangerous rabbit hole that was his mind. He ordered two cookies, pumpkin chocolate chip for Matt and a butter pecan one for himself. Then, on a whim, he also ordered a cup of hot apple cider for both you and Ana. Nothing for Denzel, though. If the Norns were smiling on him today, that man would already be gone by the time he got back. Gone as in away from the stand or out of the state didn’t really matter to Loki. Either worked for him.  

“Surprise,” he whispered in your ear after sneaking up behind you. “Hot apple cider, on me.”

You graciously took the cup and passed one to Ana, too. Loki also offered you a piece of his cookie, which you gladly accepted. The brush of your fingers as he gave it to you had him shyly looking away. Ana took Matt off to the bathroom once he was done eating, leaving Loki alone with you for the first time that day.

“So, Denzel,” he nonchalantly started after you finished a transaction. “He seemed... Nice.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. He is.” You picked at a loose thread on your jacket as you figured out what else to say about him. “Ana told me that she let you know our history. He said he’s back now and strongly hinted at us getting back together, but I don’t know.”

“I see. Well, from what I hear, he’s an amazing guy, so you should go for it,” Loki dejectedly said, though he truly did want you to be happy. “If that is what you want, of course.”

“It’s not, though. At least, I don’t think it is. Don’t get me wrong, he is really great. But the spark’s just gone for me, you know?”

“I understand completely,” Loki replied, hope creeping into his heart. Even if you were not yet smitten with him, at least you were not still pining for your ex. “You are certainly under no obligation to be with him again.”

“Yeah, I know. I just feel bad.”

“Darling, look at me,” he said, taking your hand. “You should never feel bad about what, or rather who, you want or do not want. It is entirely up to you, no matter what anyone else says.”

The irony was not lost on Loki that he should be saying those words. Though, he had found it was a common theme among Midgardians to be good at giving advice but never apply it to yourself. So, if anything, he was just doing an impeccable job of blending in.

“Thanks, Loki. I needed that. Anyway, on a much lighter note, Matt really seems to love you. You’re great with kids.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Absolutely.”

He felt his cheeks go scarlet again, entirely too happy that you thought he was good with kids. For a brief moment, the idea of raising a child with you popped into his mind, but he shut it down before he tortured himself too much with something that could never be.

“Well, I thank you for the compliment, but if you do not mind, I need some fresh air for a second. Or space, I suppose,” he corrected, considering you were outside. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Ok. Talk to me if something’s bothering you?”

“Of course.”

He knew that was a lie, and he was sure that deep down you did, too. It was, in the grand scheme of things, a little white lie. It’s just that it felt like so much more than that. In some ways, he supposed it was.

As he walked out to the edge of the market, he thought he heard some thunder ominously booming in the distance. Or maybe that was just his imagination.

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

professional pest

summary: Matthew Tkachuk and a relaxing night don’t belong in the same sentence. Or, in other words, your boyfriend is a nuisance and he knows it.

warnings: mentions of sex

word count: 1.6k

“I’m pretty sure I genuinely hate you.” 

There was absolutely no malice behind your words, and your boyfriend knew that, so that’s why he deemed it safe to laugh loudly. You turned to glare at him, but he lunged forward and pressed his lips to yours in a kiss so sweet you almost forgot why you had been so annoyed at him in the first place. Key word being almost.

You had come over to Matthew’s apartment to cook dinner and spend some well-earned time with your boyfriend, but you seemed to forget one crucial detail that could throw your whole plan out the window. 

Matt was a professional pest, on and off the ice. 

Cut to you standing in his kitchen, trying to get him to keep his hands to himself. It was almost like he couldn’t help it, he saw you minding your own business, cooking the spaghetti dinner for you both and he just had to annoy you. 

Instead of doing the typical romantic boyfriend thing, like wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your head as you worked, he decided to be twelve years old again and give you jumper cables. 

“Matthew, I swear to god, if you don’t knock it off—” You threatened, pointing your spoon in his direction as he giggled manically. 

“You’ll what?” He called your bluff with a self-satisfied grin that had you pouting in annoyance. Sometimes, you just wished that he wasn’t as good at being a shit-disturber as he was if only for the selfish reason that you wanted to win one of your typical back and forth teasing fits. “You love me too much to do anything.” 

“I’ll call your mom.” You turned back to the stove, stirring the noodles in and attempt to hide the grin that was quickly forming on your face. 

“And what, get me grounded?” He laughed loudly, slipping the spoon out of your hand and spinning you to face him. His smile was softer now, it was the one reserved for when he wanted you to know that despite all his teasing, he adored you. “Besides, if I’m grounded that means I’m not allowed to hang out with you.”

“Well, we can’t have that.” You played along, acting as if you were even contemplating telling his mom how much of a nuisance her son was. No doubt she knew, she had been subjected to having Matthew and Brady under the same roof for years. And even now, both boys grown adults you could still spot her growing a headache when the boys were together and started to bicker.

Matt grinned down at you, wrapping his arms around you kissing you soundly. You felt the love down to your toes, and everything around you seemed to melt away. You were so content pressed up against him the way you were that you didn't even realize he was smirking devilishly into the kiss, that his hands went from tugging you close to him to resting loosely on your hips. 

But you did feel him pinch your sides, fingers once more digging into the flesh there.

“Matthew!”

Hours later, you found yourself sitting on the couch with your feet propped up on Matt’s coffee table and his head in your lap. Your fingers had been threaded in his curls since the moment you both had settled into your spots, neither one of you all too eager to move. 

“Would you still love me if I shaved my head?” 

The question caught you off guard, you had been too engrossed in the movie he had picked. Plus, what kind of question was that? The hand that had been tangled in his curls froze, and you looked down at him with a goofy grin. He, however, looked serious, which made your brows tug together in confusion.

“Matty, please tell me you're not thinking about shaving your head.” You pleaded, tugging on his hair for added effect. His expression turned devious and you were rolling your eyes before he even spoke. 

“Nah, I won't cut it off. What else are you supposed to hold onto when I'm doing down on you?”

“Matthew.” You whined, shoving at his shoulder as he laughed. You never could understand why he found so much joy in annoying you, though what was even more confusing was how he managed to be endearing at the same time. “You’re such a perv.”

“You love it though.” He giggled, snagging your hand and pressing a kiss to your palm. You rolled your eyes once more, but were smiling nonetheless. “Come on, let’s go to bed. You’ve been yawning for the past ten minutes.” 

“Aw, he can be nice.” You teased, grinning as he took the chirp with a chuckle while he sat up. Once he was standing, he turned to you with the same devilish smirk you had been the victim of for the entirety of the night—actually, more like your whole relationship. Before you could even begin to tell him to not even think about whatever it was he so clearly wanted to do, you were upside down over his shoulder. “Matt! Put me down.”

“Can’t have people thinking I’m nice, now can we?”

If you thought that Matt would stop being such a pest while he slept, you would be wrong. Even when he was knocked out cold, if you tried to move away from his grip he would tighten his arms around you and pull you deeper into his chest. 

You’d learned to deal with it, but sometimes it got annoying and inconvenient when you had to wake him up in the morning so you could use the bathroom. On the days when he had to be up early for any reason, he'd pester you until you were awake too and sitting up against the headboard, just to be able to talk to you as his bounced across the room getting ready, occasionally stealing kisses and tickling your sides if he felt you were falling back asleep. 

But today you were the one that had to leave at a specified time, and that wasn't something Matt was all too thrilled with. Which was exactly why you, a grown adult, were standing with your hands on your hips scolding your boyfriend, who also was a grown adult. 

“Matt, where did you put them?” You questioned, looking down at your loving boyfriend who had been watching you search through his apartment for the past ten minutes for your lost items. 

“Why do you think I had something to do with it?” He threw his hands up, trying to play the part of an innocent bystander. He knew his acting skills weren't up to par and that you caught his fib just by the way you raised a pointed brow at him. It reminded him of how his mother used to scold him when he was a kid, but there was no way he was going to compare you to his mom when you were already annoyed as is. He may have liked to push your buttons, but even he wasn't stupid enough to draw attention to the comparison. 

“Well, for starters, sneakers don't just move on their own.” You huffed, continuing a futile search of his living room. Behind the couch, under the chairs, and you even looked under the throw pillows you had made Matt get for his apartment. And if you happened to toss it at his head while he was too busy laughing at you to defend himself, no one could truly blame you. “Seriously, Matthew, where are they? I’m supposed to meet everyone for brunch in fifteen minutes.”

“Fine.” He conceded, knowing you were reaching the point between amusingly annoyed and flat out upset for making you late. You cheered in silent victory as he stood to his feet, only faltering when you recognized that damn smirk on his face. “It's on top of the fridge.”

“Matthew.” You whined, slipping into the kitchen, his chuckling figure following behind you. You cursed him under your breath, craning your neck to look up on top of the appliance that supposedly held your shoes. “I can’t even seen on top of there, let alone reach.”

“Oh, wow, if only you had this really amazing six-foot three boyfriend who could get it for you? I’m sure he’d totally help if you asked.” He teased, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning backwards against the island counter. You rolled your eyes, checking the time on your phone to see if you had any time to fight him on this. 

“Okay, okay, before you start listing your scoring stats.” You joked, fighting off a smile to keep up your veil of annoyance. Matt didn't even try to hide his amusement, his barking laugh loud in the quiet kitchen. “Can you please get my sneakers down? Despite the fact that you put them up there in the first place?”

“Eh, we’ll take that for now.” He was grinning, but before he reached the fridge to get your sneakers down he stopped and pressed a quick kiss to your pout. Now, you really couldn’t fight the bright smile that grew on your face. 

“I don’t understand why you insist on annoying me all the time.” You huffed, no real malice to your tone, as Matt chuckled at your words. He handed you your shoes, having gotten them down with minimal effort on his part. His grin was wide and teasing, the very same one you had fallen in love with the day you met him.

“What can I say, I’m a professional pest.”

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 184 prt 1

184

Three wolves were a nightmare on his household budget. Not feeling particularly like cooking, they’d lived off the extra food Hunk had brought over until that’d run out and Lance had left the shopping to Rieva and Matt. Matt acting as if vegetables had insulted his family, Rieva not buying him a few big blocks of chocolate because too much sugar was bad for the twins. They were both banned now and Lance was having to get creative with stretching every meal as far as he could make it go with rice until he was both apologised to and bribed with chocolate.

Keith had taken over their bedroom. Not that Lance minded, things were still shaky and Keith still getting used to his ego, but their bed was now back to how it was. Blankets upon blankets with more blankets that Keith wasn’t allowed to tamper with because they made it easier for Lance to sleep. He was officially in his third trimester. The idea of giving birth more daunting than ever. Getting out of bed involved a three point turn, and there wasn’t a moment that his hips didn’t hurt with the weight of their foot and a half long subs. In some ways it felt to Lance that he was back at the start of his pregnancy. All he wanted to do was nap. He came out of a nap to pee, then straight back into the next nap. His hours now more nighttime, sleep rhythm out the window. How normal humans coped marvelled him.

It’d been a week and a half since the full moon. Keith had broken three forks, two knives, a cup, a bowl, and a plate, all by accident as he tried to help with the washing up only to use too much strength. His boyfriend felt bad. Insisting he’d replace everything, though Lance had countered that politely. What was the point of getting new things until Keith could control his strength. Currently Keith and Matt were hanging out the washing, while Lance was avoiding Rieva. She’d gone and put ideas in his head, that he now couldn’t get out of his head and seemed to haunt his dreams.

She thought he and Keith should have sex. Lance wanted to wait. But the sexual tension only seemed to be growing. He’d snuck off into the shower in the middle of the night with a vibrator just to keep a level head come morning. Usually he was the one oozing pheromones, yet lately all he smelt was Keith. The second things looked as if they were going to get heated, Lance would pull away, not wanting to force himself on his boyfriend. It was hard. So damn hard. Waking up wet and horny, aching for Keith, only to slip off to the bathroom and take matters into his own hands. Sometimes he couldn’t come, making him feel infinitely worse. If he talked to Keith about things, he felt like he’d be forcing their relationship. Plus Keith was still learning that privacy was a thing of the past now he could hear everything.

All he wanted was to be able to wait until Keith was ready.

“Lance?”

Hearing Keith call his name, Lance shocked himself as he moaned in response. There was nothing sexy about the sandwich he was currently making to satisfy his cravings. Coughing fakely to clear his throat, he knew he couldn’t take back the sound, but didn’t want to acknowledge it either

“W-what’s up?”

“Matt and Rieva are going for a run. They asked if I want to go with them”

Lance’s silly horny hopes soared, then in the same heartbeat crashed back to reality. Keith needed to be off doing wolf things and getting used to that side of himself.

Slicing through the tomato he’d been working on, the vampire tried to keep his voice level

“You should go if you want to. It’ll be good for you”

“Are you okay? Your scent is all over the place”

Fuck his scent. Pressing his lips together, Lance hummed instead of replying

“Mhmm...”

“If you don’t want me to go...”

“No! No... shit...”

He didn’t want to limit Keith. He didn’t want to bind him either... though he kind of did... Angry with himself, he nicked his finger on the knife.

Striding into the kitchen, Keith took him by the wrist, pulling him over to the tap to wash the wound

“Are you okay?! What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Sorry. I’m a bit distracted, but you should go. It’ll do you good”

“If you really mean that, why won’t you look at me?”

Lance knew the moment he looked Keith in the eyes he’d be well and truly fucked

“It’s nothing”

“You can tell me. I’m not going to get mad. If I’ve done something...”

Stupid Keith and his stupid considerate feelings. The question hurt more than his cut finger and he’d done a pretty good job on that

“It’s not... it’s fine. I’ve got this, it’s healing already”

“Lance... Please... I want to know what I did”

God give him strength

“You haven’t done anything wrong”

“Then why are you acting like this”

“Because I’m mad at myself. It’s not you. It’s me. Can you please just let me clean this up myself?”

Krolia had asked him if he’d had sex with Keith. Lance choking on air. The question coming out of nowhere, making Keith snap as the others laughed. He could feel the warmth of Keith soaking in through where he held his wrist. His damn dick twitching. He knew how good their sex life had been and now he... he wanted to jump Keith’s bones. For no apparent reason, Keith moved behind. His breath tickling Lance’s ear

“Could it be something else... like maybe your horny?”

Lance shuddered as Keith rutted against him

“Keeeeith... don’t...”

“Why not?”

“Because... I’m... trying to be... respectful”

“Matt and Rieva won’t care. They’ve already taken Kosmo ahead”

“So you knew... and you were testing me?”

“I heard you and Rieva talking. You could have talked to me”

Turning the tap off, Keith placed his hand on Lance’s belly. Nipping on his ear, Lance closed his eyes as he tried not to be swept alone

“You’re still healing... we don’t... don’t know... if... Keith...”

“I want to fuck you. I want to bend you over the kitchen table and fuck you until your fingers break the wood”

Jesus Christ. Werewolf Keith was as much of a slut as drunk Keith. Lance’s ego was all for having attention lavished on him. Some days it was on edge about Keith, but for a vampire, it seemed okay with Keith now the moon had passed and Keith was settling nicely. Sliding his hand down the front of Lance’s yoga pants, Lance’s head lolled back as he moaned

“Fuuuuck... babe...”

“Like that?”

“Mmm... feels... good”

“Then you’ll like what comes next even more”

Before Lance could ask what came next, Keith pulled his hand away. One moment he’d been at the sink, the next he was laid out on the kitchen table with Keith pulling his pants down. Bent as much as he could be thanks to his belly, the kisses they shared were frantic. Teeth gnashing painfully against teeth. Canines and fangs cutting each other’s lips as Lance moaned. Fuck. He needed this so much. He needed Keith so much. He wanted to feel their bond. He wanted to feel connected. More so then he wanted to be respectful. His overthinking went out the window. He wanted Keith to blow his mind. Nearly a full month without sex left him starved. Fucking Rieva was right, not that he’d tell her.

Keith didn’t seem to care about being patient and taking things slowly. Unable to stop himself, he tore at Lance’s shirt, Lance taking over to strip himself as Keith got the message and pulled his own off

“Fuck... I want to be in you already”

Shirts were thrown somewhere. Lance eager for more kisses as Keith fought with his jeans. It frustrated him that he couldn’t help, but his frustrations were rewarded by the strong mind numbing scent of Keith’s arousal. How one man could be so damn sexy annoyed him. Keith’s teeth poked over his lips, hair already mussed...

“You smell so fucking good. Look at you... I can smell your wetness...”

“Babe, I get you want to talk sexy, but less talking and more fucking...”

Keith grabbed him by the hips, yanking him to the edge of the table, before Lance was seeing stars. Legs up on Keith’s shoulders, the kisses he’d wanted went out the window as Keith buried his face down there. Fucking hell... the position couldn’t be comfortable for Keith, but his tongue... oh god the things Keith had done with that tongue... now he was... there was no hesitation. No asking. Keith seemed to see right through him and knew what he wanted. Slow and tender could wait for later. Now was about being in the now

“Keeeith...”

Gripping Keith’s hair, his boyfriend alternated between tonguing him and sucking him off. Lance lasted all of three seconds thrusting thirstily into Keith’s mouth, Keith growling as he swallowed what he could, before pulling back and catching the last pulse on his tongue. They’d barely begun and Lance was wrecked. They definitely shouldn’t be doing this on the kitchen table, but he was definitely going to hit Keith if he suddenly stopped before burying himself balls deep.

“Babe, you ready?”

Lance opened his eyes. Chest heaving. Legs shaking. Wrecked. But for all the passion, his boyfriend had stopped to ask...

“Yeah... God, yes. Please, babe. I want to feel you”

Keith smiled at him. A smile just for him. A smile that he appreciated yet frustrated him because he totally needed Keith to hurry up here

“You’re so damn pretty”

Lance deflected. He didn’t want to think about he looked like an already stuffed turkey with his bits and pieces up in the air for further stuffing

“And you’re horny”

“My pretty mate... fuck... I don’t know if I can last”

“I don’t care...”

With Keith being werewolf, Lance let himself feel absolutely everything. Not that he hadn’t before, but each and every time he’d marked Keith he’d felt guilty later. He’d fist the sheets to avoid scratching up Keith’s back... His nails scratched the wood of his table as Keith drove into him enough force that if his hands hadn’t been on Lance’s hips keeping him in place, he probably would have ended up falling off the table backwards. When Keith noticed, he’d made him grab him by the arms, Lance nearly wailing from the relief he felt as he came around Keith. Their bond was still there. That feeling that they were going to be okay. It wasn’t the same. Not in a bad way... just... a different way. But it lacked none of the warmth or glowy feelings that’d been there before. Keith lasting twice as long before he finally came, Lance clenching hard, feeling as if Keith was coming way too much yet didn’t want to waste any of it... not that it would do any good. Keith had long since knocked him up with his wonder sperm.

Carefully pulling out, Keith went into awkward mode. Lance knowing it was because they couldn’t cuddle with his stomach in the way and with him still sprawled across the kitchen table. Reaching a hand out, Lance could definitely go for cuddles and a nap, once they’d cleaned up. He had pretty much no energy left for anything other than being in Keith’s arms

“Help me up...”

His boyfriend looked conflicted

“Keith?”

“You look tired”

Yep. He’d called it

“I am... but I know a certain dark haired man who wants cuddles right now”

“I should have waited until...”

“Babe... don’t. That felt amazing... but now I’m stuck and I’m sticky”

Spinning around, it was almost comical as Keith searched for the tea towel beside the sink. Once he’d found it, he turned the taps on too hard, spraying water from the force against the bottom of the sink. Keith clearly couldn’t do the brain... which pleased Lance’s ego. Getting the tea towel damp, Keith then nearly dropped it

“Babe... I’m okay”

“I... uh...”

“Fucked me senseless?”

“Uh... um... yeah, that”

Lance hadn’t pointed it out, but since waking from his coma, Keith had started using the word “um” a lot more than he’d used to. He didn’t want to worry him by bringing it up. The brain was a complicated thing. The blood could only do so much...

“I... um... got carried away”

Struggling to sit himself up, Lance held his arms out, uncomfortable as heck over the cum between his belly and dick. He felt all squishy

“Hey, come here for a moment”

There was hesitation in Keith as he came into arms reach. Lance pulling him as close he could with his arms over his shoulders and his feet against the backs of Keith’s knees

“I’m okay... and you’re okay...”

“I just realised I didn’t think about the twins... what if I hurt them?”

“I’m built tougher than that... they’re okay... we’re okay”

“But... I... um... didn’t think. It felt so good that I...”

His arse was amazing. Keith had told him that many, many times

“Babe. Hey, no. Whatever you’re thinking, no. I didn’t... tell you I was feeling so pent up because I didn’t want to make you feel rushed or that I wanted anything more than you. Our sex life has always felt good. I like feeling like you wanted me as much as I wanted you”

Keith sighed softly, almost sounding regretful

“I’m still horny”

“Well, it has been a long time since we... did the do... and I’m pretty sure Rieva is currently laughing with Matt about us being horny idiots. I’m sleepy, but I think maybe we could... fool around a little more? In our bed?”

“You’re sleepy”

“Slow lazy sex isn’t so bad... especially when my big bad boyfriend is here to carry me up the stairs”

“Who says I’m carrying you upstairs?”

Lance shrugged

“Me. Now. I don’t think I can walk”

“Are you sure...?”

“I’m very sure. I’m very sure that you should listen to your pregnant mate and help me clean up before you carry me upstairs and give me so many kisses that I never want to leave our bed again... after I’ve peed”

Keith snorted at his comment. At last. He’d succeed in his mission to drive away Keith’s annoying overthinking

“You do pee, a lot”

“I know. It’s like my routine. Nap. Pee. Nap again. Remember to eat. Try to do the right thing. I’ve a very busy vampire”

“I can tell. Did... did you feel...”

“Amazing. Our bond felt a little different but I still feel like you’re the only one I could ever be like this with”

“It felt... warm... and... you felt... amazing. My ego... is happy”

Given Keith had most likely been horny since the full moon, his ego probably felt great satisfaction in being intimate with their mate

“It can’t be easy. Having so many new sensations to get used to. But we’re going to be okay”

“Are you sure I really didn’t hurt the twins?”

“Babe, they’re fine. Me on the other hand, I’m getting all crusty”

Keith wrinkled his nose

“I am too... can we take a bath? I want to take a bath”

“Can I wash your hair?”

He missed washing Keith’s hair. He missed the little things like that which all added up to a whole lot of small affectionate moments

“I’d like that”

*

Keith felt a Pringle’s ad. He’d popped and he couldn’t stop. His ego relished wrecking Lance. He’d tried to slow himself down when they’d had sex in the kitchen... tried and failed. Lance felt made to fit around him. Not that he hadn’t before, but he’d felt so damn much... a twinge of sadness did come with it. He’d loved Lance so completely as a human. He’d wanted to monopolise him. Now he had to share with his ego that was telling him that he had to take better care of Lance. He didn’t know how to take better care of Lance.

When Lance washed his hair, Keith couldn’t describe the new way he felt about. He’d enjoyed it before, but like with sex, it felt different now. He hadn’t been able to keep himself, reacting that mental fantasy he’d had as he’d first started drying Lance off, only to end up bending him over the bathroom counter and... well... it still hadn’t felt enough. In a lot of ways it felt like when Lance was in heat. His body so willing, and his scent screaming for more... only now, his scent was telling Lance kind of the same things and it felt weird.

He’d noticed Lance slipping out of bed. Then he’d been unable to not hear what he got up to. When Lance would cry, he’d wanted to go to him, his ego telling him he was a bad person for not going to their boyfriend. He just didn’t know how to settle himself... especially when he’d come twice and felt no signs of fatigue. He didn’t... know what to do with that. It left him with feelings that hurt to try and sort out. That he was being greedy. That he was making Lance feel used without knowing he was being used, even though Keith didn’t really get why he thought Lance was being used when he himself wanted to be intimate with Lance and wasn’t simply going there because Lance was convenient.

Even when they climbed into bed together, Keith couldn’t help but rut against Lance. Lance who desperately needed sleep and cuddles, not another orgasm and a good jabbing. Was he meant to be this horny? Lance was heavily pregnant. He looked ready to give birth as it was. His hips had widened and his stomach sat lower. When Keith watched his love’s stomach, he could see the way the skin moved as their twins moved. Plus Lance had been extra tired lately. Had he been pushing Lance too far and not noticed? Was this why Shiro wanted him home? Because he was bad for his mate? He couldn’t shut his brain up. He didn’t get the whole “mates thing” and Google hadn’t been kind. Werewolf porn was an actual thing. He didn’t want to... be like the wolves in the things online. He cherished Lance. He wasn’t just... someone to sex.

Sighing against him, Lance had placed Keith’s hand on his stomach, with his own over the top. Keith couldn’t help but squirm. From how hard he’d come, there shouldn’t be anything left down there, but still he wanted Lance so badly he found himself pressing forward to bury himself the best he could into his boyfriend. Lance had moaned. Lance had moaned and his body seemed to think it okay. His boyfriend felt so damn good that it was hard not to hard and rough as he slowly rocked against him. When he’d come, he hadn’t known what to say... Lance sleepily murming not to pull out as he wriggled back against him, falling asleep within moments... without having come. He felt like he belonged in a jail for horny werewolves. His ego would be quite happy if this was how things remained for the foreseeable future, and Lance seemed okay with it, but did that mean he was the only one freaking out here?

*

Thank god Matt and Rieva had work, and Lance was down for a nap. That’s all Keith could think about as he shut himself in Lance’s office. He’d wanted to go see Coran, but Platt was out of the question for now, so he’d been waiting most of the morning for the house to be clear. He was still unsure that being horny was okay. Lance seemed okay. Very okay seeing he’d woken up to Lance sliding into his lap and a very vigorous round of sex. While Lance might be okay with things, and he’d been very okay with things, he still wanted to know if having sex was okay.

Three cups of coffee and a trip to bathroom later, he’d had the courage to finally call. Using Lance’s landline, he kind of felt weirdly official, kind of like he was ringing up to order one dose of sexual advice. Being Coran, the phone had barely started ringing before it was picked up and dread flooded Keith’s stomach

“Lance! How are you my boy?! How’s our twins?! How’s our Keith?!”

Right. Coran was expecting Lance

“Um... Hey, Coran. It’s Keith...”

“Keith, my lad! How are you?!”

Keith moved the phone away from his ear. It didn’t matter how many kilometres were between them, Coran was loud

“I’m sorry to disturb you... I, um... have a question”

“Pish-posh, disturb away”

“Okay. I... guess... I was wondering if it’s okay for me to have sex with Lance?”

Someone shoot him. If the floor could swallow him right now, that’d be great

“This is not the conversation I expected. Has something happened between the pair of you? Don’t tell me you failed to preform”

Fuck. Of course Coran had no discretion talking about sex. If he started a trip down memory lane, Keith was going to hang up

“Um... think the other way”

“You can’t keep your hands off?”

“Kind of... yeah. My ego wants him all the time and I feel guilty”

“Keith, you’re a young wolf in your prime! You have a lovely mate, who’s highly compatible with you. These things are to be expected...”

“That doesn’t make it okay. Lance barely does anything but sleep. He’s exhausted. And I’m not okay with wanting to jump him when he needs his rest!”

There was a pause. Keith praying the pause didn’t lead to a story

“Ah. Yes. Perhaps I misspoke. What I meant was if Lance was happy and it was consensual...”

“Lance is too exhausted. I ended up jumping him in the kitchen. Even when he fell asleep, I wanted to keep touching him and I hate it. He needs to rest. How do I curb this?! I don’t want him to feel used but I feel like me not being able to control this is kind of the same as using him. I love him. I don’t want him to just roll over and cater to my needs!”

“Might I ask how long you’ve been feeling this way?”

“Yesterday was the first time... since... well...”

“Ah. Well I do have some idea. It could possibly be because you scent other wolves in the air and wish to stake your claim. It may also be due to this all being very new to you. You were rather horny on your first night of the moon without your mate there”

Keith looked to the ground. No convenient chasm opening to swallow him up

“I was?”

“You were. You howled the first night, not at all happy. Now I’m thinking about it, I suspect your ego is trying to bond with Lance as it missed its chance with the moon. Your compatibility is against you here. Vampires don’t naturally bond with werewolves. Lance isn’t a common vampire. His scent is appealing to both vampires and werewolves. You’re trying to appease your mate as your ego thinks it’s done something wrong by not being with him under the moon. Yes. It all makes sense now”

“I don’t care if it makes sense. I love him. I don’t want to be some kind of rabid animal”

“You’re not rabid. Your ego is still learning and it’s trying to make it up to Lance. There are plenty of things you can do that will help with the bonding between your egos”

“Other than sex?”

He wasn’t getting a story? Oh thank god. Lance would have laughed if he’d known he was sitting there listening to Coran’s sex life

“Other than sex. Grooming. Werewolves have a love of being groomed by their mate. Try small things like massage or brushing his hair. Vampires are quite the divas. The enjoy looking and feeling good. Though it may not be your thing, Lance does enjoy face masks. He and Allura had quite the time relaxing with face masks. Allura was talking for days over how he styled her hair for her”

“When did that happen?”

He hadn’t heard about this... or had he and he’d forgotten?

“Lance had... quite a hard time accepting your anger upon waking. Allura finally able to get through to him. He stubbornly refused to leave you side. That’s not to say he was alone. Pidge and Hunk visited as often as they could... You were quite upset. Accusing him of “shacking up with Allura the moment you were out of the picture”...”

Keith groaned. Recovering Keith was an arsehole

“He left that out. Coran, I don’t know how to face mask”

“Ahhh, but you have access to that amazing invention called the internet. Technology these days is truly amazing, back in my youth we’d never have dreamed such a thing. You could try making dinner for him. I suspect he’s working hard to feed the three of you well”

Keith loved Lance’s cooking, but if he had to have rice again he might murder the two other wolves in the house

“Rieva and Matt doomed us to rice. They didn’t buy the right amount of chocolate Lance wanted. If I cook, they’ll want me to cook for them. Plus, I think Lance is worried about our finances right now”

“That boy of ours does have a habit of worrying. If you’d like, I can transfer you through to Allura”

And have Allura knowing he was calling up to discuss his sex life? That was a hard pass

“No. I... um... guess I was getting too impatient”

“The most important thing to remember is that Lance loves you. He chose you. If you’re having doubts or urges, you should talk to him. He’s always been a bit uptight about his own urges. I’m sure he understands that right now you’re frisky. He won’t hate you for talking to him”

“Yeah. You’re probably right. I just didn’t want to worry him...”

“Is he really that bad?”

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

[tamarastevie]

Happier

Pairing - Matthew Daddario x Reader.

A/N - lmfao hi guys!! i apologise for disappearing on you like that! i just kinda got over matt, i suppose. but this was sitting in my drafts for ages, and i wanted to finish it! feel free to drop in a request for billy hargrove, i’ll do my best to write it! this was heavily inspired by Ed Sheeran’s Happier. I’m sorry for the angst!

Words - 1474.

Matthew was walking down the street when he saw his gorgeous ex-girlfriend walking into a bar with another man. He let out a deep sigh and entered the same bar since he was meeting his friend, Dominic Sherwood there.

It’s been a month since Y/N and Matthew separated. His work was getting the best of him and he was letting all of his frustration and exhaustion out on her. She wasn’t an angel either; her family issues were getting the best of her too. With her parents constantly pressuring her to get good grades, and get a decent job all while irritating her to talk to Matt about getting married and settling down.

Eventually all of these unspoken things brought their relationship to a downfall. Their relationship didn't end the nicest way possible. The two were screaming at each other at the top of their lungs, until finally, Matthew stormed off from Y/N's flat, and never returned.

The two haven't seen each other since. At least, until now. Y/N hadn't acknowledged Matthew's presence, since she didn't see him. As soon as he saw her enter, he fled to a nearby ally. He dialled up Dominic's number and awaited for him to answer, "Come on! Pick up you fucker!" he let out a sigh of relief after his friend answered on the third ring, "Dude, what's up? Where are you?" his friends British accent was heard through the phone.

Matt scratched the back of his neck "I-I'm not sure I can go in," he stuttered. Even though he couldn't see it, Dom's brows rose in surprise, "Why not?" Just as Matthew was about to explain himself, Dom spoke again, "Oh my god, dude. Your ex just walked in," the brunette was nodding until he realised his friend couldn't see him nod over the phone, "Yeah, exactly. That's why I don't think I can go inside. Things didn't end the best between us, as you remember all too well."

Dominic shook his head, "Look, whatever happened is in the past. You both are adults and should be able to be under the same roof without tearing each other's heads off. Come in, I'll buy you a beer, and we'll be fine, okay?" Matt let out a sigh of defeat before saying he'll be right there. He hung up and walked back to the entrance of the bar.

Upon entering, a doorbell at the top of the doorframe rang. Nobody really heard it as it was swallowed by the sounds of 80's rock music. The bar was known for its old-timey style. They even had a jukebox, just for show though. It wasn't even plugged in.

There were sets of different tables across the space between the entrance and the bar itself. They were all the same style, but different colour. The core was the same, metallic, round tables that being prepped up by a long neck that was spilt into four at the floor. All the chairs were metallic as well, but they were cushioned.

It also had booths. The booths were more deluxe looking. Wooden brown pressed up against same colour walls. The cushions were a lighter shade of brown. The dark tables were also pushed up against the walls.

Matthew spotted his friend immediately. Dominic was seated on a high bar stool, a beer already in hand and another one placed on a coaster on the table. He walked up to his pal and patted him on the back. Dominic smiled brightly and gave Matt a welcoming hug.

Dominic gestured towards the cold beer standing on the table, indicating it was for his friend. Matthew smiled and thanked his friend for getting him his favourite, promising to repay him with a tequila shot. The blonde tried to wave his friend off, saying it was okay, but the boy shook his head, already ordering two shots.

The two spent most of the time drinking the night away, hiding their sorrows in massive amounts of liquor. And it was working fantastically. At least, it did, until Matt's gaze wandered over the bar and his dark eyes landed on the girl who broke his heart no longer than three months ago.

She was laughing and he head was thrown up. She only did this when she was truly and genuinely laughing. His features softened at the sight of her, and he smiled. Until his gaze moved right and he saw the source of her laughter. His stare hardened and his smile disappeared, being replaced with a frown. His eyes were fixated on the man, thinking that if he'd look hard enough, he'd burn a hole through the man and make him disappear.

Dominic had to pull Matthew away by force, turning his head back to the bar, where he had another shot placed for the two. Matt downed it within seconds, loving the burn in his throat, as it distracted him. Sadly, the distraction didn't last long. Soon enough, Dominic went off with some red-headed girl that hit on him, leaving Matt alone. He waved Dom off when he gave the brunette an apologetic look while being pulled away from the scene.

Matt let his eyes wander once again to Y/N. She seemed so much happier now. Her eyes have regained their shine. Her smile was reaching to her eyes once again, her straight toothed smile dazzling everyone who looked her way.

Looking at her reminded him of all their good times together. How wide their smiles were. How happy they once were. Now? Now, her smile was wider when she was with her new guy. How happier she seemed. Matthew smiled sadly, looking at the couple.

He knew he had to get out before he broke down in front of the crown of strangers in the bar. He quickly paid his fare and left the place. He called an Uber and waited for it outside. He was afraid of returning to his flat, but he had no other place to go to.

Once at home, he realised how everything reminded him of Y/N. Every place he looked, he saw her. On his dark brown couch they were once cuddled on. He saw the two of them, she was being pressed up against him, arms around his waist while his was around her shoulders. They were watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Now the couch felt cold. And empty. He hated sitting there now. Instead, he always sat in the corner of the room, avoiding everything in his place. The place that he once felt so happy in, now broke him with every glance.

Another memory flashed in his eyes. This time the two were cooking together, and Matthew accidentally cut Y/N with a knife. It was a small nick, but he apologised profusely nonetheless. Even after Y/N reassured him that she was fine, he kept going. "Nobody hurts you like I hurt you," he looked at her. "But nobody loves you like I do," he smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Time went on, and he tried moving on, and leaving without her, but he couldn't. All of his friends kept telling him that he'll move on with someone new as well too. But he tried, he tried going on dates, tried dating apps, but to no avail. Nothing worked, he couldn't get Y/N out of his head.

He wanted to message her so badly. Tell her how much he missed her, how much he needed her back in his life, in his arms, but he couldn't. He kept telling himself how happier she is now. He didn't want to ruin that for her. So he did what he thought would be best.

Matthew decided to wait.

He was going to wait until her new lover broke her heart. And if he won't, he'll keep waiting anyway. Matthew didn't want someone else. He couldn't bring himself to get over Y/N. He was still in love with her. He adored her in every way possible and he couldn't live without her.

Just the thought of her not going back to him if he ever decided to reach out to her broke him. He was so afraid to face the truth so he ran from it. Whenever someone asked him about his love life, he said he was waiting for the right time to ask. He never mentioned what he was going to ask.

And that's how he spent the rest of his life. Waiting. For the right moment to message her again. For the moment that her new lover would break her heart and he'd be there to mend it. He didn't know if such a moment would come, but he wasn't going to give up on her. He was going to keep on waiting, even if it meant forever.

[bonnieiscool]

Butterfly Affect AU

Plot

In theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.

Well when the Future Tom and Matt went back to stop Matt from changing everything the may have messed up a bit. They had forgotten to lock Edd’s cell and he escaped again, grabbing the backup’s backup future time machine and a much more simple laser gun. He thought that if young him was smart enough he would have to go back a kill an even younger him.. He didn’t want it to come to this yet it still did.

Once he was back he was immediately face to face with Matt and Tom, who were just as shocked as him. He immediately turned around and ran away from the two, going over to a crosswalk that had enough people to hide him. The others were quick to catch him and were able to tackle him down. This had mad Edd accidentally pushed the lady in front of them onto the crosswalk right as a car past.

The three’s eye widen and they all started to freak out using the time machine that Tom and Matt had to go back to the future. They all knew if the police had gotten to them they would have had to come clean about being from the future and god know the experiments they would have to go through.

That day was the day of the second grade art contest.. The student’s teacher never came in and the so many students where looking up to this. The only teacher the school had available was the kindergarten one, so they then them to the class to judge the students art.

That day Edd was still the one to earn first place, but so was Eduardo. The two boy’s are rivaled for first place. Edd offered first Place to Eduardo but.. He didn’t accept it, he had actually insist Edd be the one to take it for being kind to the other. This repeated several times until the two started to get violent towards each other. In the end the teacher just recommend that the two just share first place, so they did!

.

.

.

This would be the first change in this universe.

Characters-

Main Crew

Edward “Edd” Golden-

Edd is the nicest guy you will meet ever. That is if you don’t actually get to know him. When you first meet Edd he puts on this little nice persona, one that will fool you into thinking he’s that one innocent artist that has never sinned.

Well he has. Edd out of this persona is that troll that’s just trying to test your Patience.

Eduardo “Eddie” Gonzalez-

This guy is actually a small bean that can get angered easily. Like the littlest things get him pissed off or mad, but he takes it all out on his room wall, which they had to replace. But that’s not him all the time, he is can actually be nice of you are nice back. He’ll make you cupcakes man.

Matthew “Matt” Hearthgrave-

Matt is.. Matt is actually married to himself, he has the ring to prove it. Though he may love himself a lot he also loves his friends, that’s why he’s out every night working his ass off to try and help pay off the house. You never see him in the morning, He’s most likely asleep at this moment.

T.M.-

Now this boy is a part of an unstable fusion between Tom and Mark. T.M. is were Tom is in mostly in control. Now T.M. is very, very rude. He will insult you if you give him the tiniest of bad vibes. Let’s not talk about the increase of his sassy.

M.T. -

M.T. is a mom. This is when Mark is in control and oh my god. He got all of the compassion and he tries he goddamn hardest to make sure everyone is okay. He worries about Matt the most, despite T.M. hating him. He’s not as sassy as before but there is still a hint in there somewhere.

ꍟ̴̡͉̜͉̪̭̻̿ꋪ̴̡͉͎̭̗̤͎̲ꋪ̴̧͖̱̖̠͋̃̈́́̔̕͘͜͝ꂦ̸̡͙̳̞͕̥͆͒ꋪ̷̼̣̗̯̔̆̎̓̔̅͊̾͂̕-

Do not, and I mean do not get anywhere near him when they are completely fused. They are very unstable and can turn into a beast, they have before when they first fused. So far there is no way to calm him down from this state. When Mark and Tom first fused they were like this but as soon as Tord touched his shoulder he went berserk and changed into a monster that Tord refuses to talk about.

Todd Lowsen-

Todd is- orwell was Mark’s australian boyfriend. He is the sweetest capitalist you will ever meet. No he doesn’t have the brains to be as smart as Tord but he does have, glasses so he looks like he is. He will act like a a father to all of his roommates because he basically is. Also low key has a crush on Eduardo but he doesn’t wanna day anything to mess up their relationship.

Ghosts

Jon Valentine-

Jon is a cold blooded leader who only cares for those who he sees useful. He’s like- if he had a choice to save you he wouldn’t. Instead he would push you off while calling you a useless toy. No one knows his real motives are or if he has any real emotions for that matter.

Tord Larkersen-

Tord is a double crossing no good very bad guy. Which is why he is Jon’s right hand man. He may live with the guys but that’s because he’s there, in charge of keeping an eye on the fusion. He has to give daily reports to Jon if something bad were to happen. Of course he originally did truly care for the others, but ever since he saw beast he knew that it would be dangerous to just let it roam around like it’s nothing.

Paul Vore-

Okay, so imagine Eduardo but not as sweet and a bit taller. He’s an angry normal sized man and is determined to take care of all of the soldiers as if they were his own children, especially Tord. He is the co-pilot to his to his loving husband.

Patryck Vore-

Three words, “Mother Bean Stick.” Patryck is a natural worried guy, the thing is he doesn’t really worry about himself. The people who he cares about are number one to him. Now when you first meet him he will often be cold to you and won’t allow you to even let you talk to anyone until you pass his test.

Neighbors

Laurel Jameson-

This is the sweetest jealous hoe you will ever meet. She was Eduardo’s ex-girlfriend for two years and never really got over him. So she moved in next door and is constantly trying to steal him back from Edd, who she hates more than anything in the world.

Diwi Jackson-

[c]Diwi is a chill laid back guy who only lives there because the rent was cheap. He often goes over to Edd’s house to hang out with his best buddy Todd and maybe the others. Laurel hates him too.

Larry Bong-

[c]Okay so if you take depressed and tired of Bing’s shit and smash it together this is who you get. Larry is stress because s the one who does all of the cooking, cleaning, and worrying. He’s like, normally he’s tired but when he sees Bing he gets extra tired. The only reason he puts up with him because they are cousins.

Bing Bong-

[c]This fucker right here is the craziest little shit you will ever meet. Like he has a secret lab under the house that only Larry and him knows about. He has cloned his neighbors and his roommates on more than one occasion. Laurel keeps him around because she gets to be featured in any crazy ass movie he makes.

[matthewxdavidson]

Night Before... || Mattcedes

Tagging: Matthew Davidson & Mercedes Jones Where: Mercedes’ room When: July 27, 2019 - Sometime after 1am Notes: none

Matt

Matt asked Blaine to meet with him that night, full knowing he’d not be okay with what’s happening the next day. This year he’d been hit with one blow after the next and his heart and head were tired. He put on the usual charm. Cracked jokes and did what most people have come to expect from him. These faces were well worn and slid on easy but it didn’t mean he wasn’t ready to just set them aside and slip away from the world for awhile. It was well past midnight by this point, Matt unable to hear the sound of music and singing from the room he rented for Mercedes’ bachelorette party. He thought he’d risk seeing her and hope she was in her room and not over at Jackson’s. Or Jackson’s at hers. His hand went up and knocked on her door, hoping this wasn’t some type of mistake.

Mercy 

Mercedes had had fun at the reception dinner and at the at the surprise party, friends and family, everyone came out and she just enjoyed herself.  About 11 she grew tired and knew she needed her rest. So saying goodbye to the girls she made her way back to her room and skype called Jackson like she promised. They had spoken for about 30 minutes when she knew they should both get some sleep. The knock on her door came as a surprise cause she didn't know who would be visiting her the night before her wedding. Opening the door she was shocked to see Matt. "Matt- what are you doing here?"

Matt

He thought he’d be a drunk mess by this point of the night but he was stone cold sober, which was for the best. He smiled and crossed his arms. “What? A guy can’t pay his best friend a late night visit the night before she gets married?” There was a small smile with this. “Can I come in? I promise to be a gentleman to Mr. Snuggles.”

Mercy

"I guess it would depend on why you are here? Why are you here Matt?" She sighed at his question and moved to the side. "What's going on?"

Matt

“Why are you making it seem like I’m here because I’m up to no good?” He looked around and then back to her. “I don’t want to do this out here. I actually have something I want to say.”

Mercy 

"Cause ever since I have known you you have been pretty much up to no good." She teased. Looking at him, she shut the door and wrapped her robe around herself. "Okay...."

Matt

“I have my good moments! This is one of them, I swear.” Matt went into the room and spied the pink and purple zebra. He walked over and picked it up before turning around with it in his hands. “Okay. I got what I came for. Time for me to go back to my room.” He pretended to leave but laughed at himself. Matt sat on the edge of her bed instead and looked at her. “I can’t believe tomorrow is the big day. There have been many times I’ve thought of how this day would go down. Even considered stopping the wedding but I know that won’t go over well. I also know you’ve got some serious feelings for Jack. I can tell with the way you talk about him. This look you get.”

Mercy

Mercedes blocked the door the moment he grabbed Mr. Snuggles. She rolled her eyes with a smiled as he pretended to leave but then sat down. She moved to sit next to him. "Yeah it feels like its been longer than six months. Way longer than six months. So much has happened and I don't really know how to deal with all of them. I mean I thought this would be me and you. We would say a big screw you to my dad and I would be your wife. But stuff happens, people change or want different things, or hurt you. And you just have to adjust." She ran her hands through her hair. "But I do like him, a lot. I still just have so many feelings."

Matt

Matt listened and set the zebra aside so he could take her hand. “Or people are too scared about breaking contract and dealing with not just the fines and jail time but the fall out. At least with this you’ll have a good man and your family. If I’d have gone and married you we’d have each other but your parents would be out of the picture. As crazy and controlling I think your dad is. After seeing how he was at the fire...he loves you too damn much. I think it would break him if you ever broke his heart.” Matt licked his lips and turned his head. He came here to talk about something else and didn’t anticipate this. Tears stung his eyes and he looked away.

Mercy 

Mercedes shook her head. "If he loved me at all he wouldn't have done this. I am all for people getting married but at least let them choose who they want to marry!" She sighted. "And if it was that important for the two to get married they would of. You wanted to Be with El and she was al-" Mercedes stopped herself from continuing. "Sorry, none of that matters. You came to tell me something?"

Matt

He wanted to shake her when it came to Ellie. But she had some sort of selective amnesia when it come to it and would it actually matter? “I swear to fucking God. The next time you bring up Ellie and how I wanted to be with her you won’t hear from me for awhile. Ellie was very aggressive and she basically wore me down and...you’re right. It’s the past. If we’re meant to come back to each other then we will. I just want you happy and not dealing with anything bad.” His hand went through his hair and then he took her hand. “You know I love you, right?”

Mercy 

Mercedes turned to him. "If I am not allowed to say anything else about her then I have to say this. It doesn't matter if she was aggressive, it doesn't matter if its what she wanted. You and I, we had something special. I knew if from the moment you kissed me. It wasn't because you saved my life, or because you were my best friend. It was because you were you. And when I asked you to marry me you said no. And it hurt but I stayed in your life because I got it. But when you came over to my house, and told me you and her were going to be together. That hurt me more than anything ever could. It didn't matter if I was falling for Jack or said we couldn't be anything. It meant you were willing to risk it all to be with her. But not me. Your side is your side but thats all i see when I think about it." She wiped her eyes. "I really do like Jackson, and I am glad that I took the time to get to know him, and that I am marrying someone like him. But I know marrying him means I have to let go of all the past hurt and everything." He took her hand and she nodded. "I know."

Matt

This talk wasn’t going at all as planned and Matt looked at their hands and a few tears actually worked their way down his cheeks. It was a fight he knew he’d have to put behind him. If he wanted to make things work with Bri and for Mercedes to have true happiness then what they had. What they shared. It was just a memory. Something they couldn’t have again. He moved and placed his arms around her, hugging her in a way he knew he wouldn’t be able to after today. “This isn’t what I came to talk about but I know I’m going to miss this part of us. The part that is filled with all the love I have for you.”

Mercy 

She laid on his shoulder and sighed. "I am gonna miss you too. So much. I just had to get that out Matt. Truthfully and in my heart I know you never wanted to hurt me, that you loved me, love me more. But it was weighing on me and now I can forgive it, forgive it and let go. But you have to forgive yourself too. We all make choices and its easy to hold on to the pain, because we feel we deserve it. You don't deserve the pain. You were good to me while we were together, so amazing. And despite how I felt about her and her actions I know El truly loved you. Let go of the pain you have from what happened with us and what happened with you and her.  Let go so you can be happy okay?"

Matt

His hand went to her cheek and Matt’s lips met her forehead. He pressed a firm kiss there and brought his lips to hers and gave her the lightest of kisses. “I will.” His forehead pressed against hers and sighed. “Jesus. I wasn’t planning on coming over and crying but I know this is something we needed.” His hand remained on her cheek and Matt looked at her. At the love of his life. “I want you to have the best future, Mercedes. I want it filled with so much laughter and promise. That you’ll have that future from that dream you told me about.”

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed. Matt kissed her softly and she smiled at him.  "Crying is good for the soul. You are my best friend Matty and I think in order for us to move on from the past then we need to be honest and I am glad that we are being honest  with each other. Glad we are on the same page about that." She sighed. "I want you to have the best future too Matt. All those things you wish for me I wish the same for you." 

Matt

“We’re just going to keep going and going with what we want each other to have.” He brushed her cheek and longed to kiss her again, but he couldn’t. Once was already crossing a line. “Okay.” He moved back but still held her hand. “You know how much my grandmother adored you. How you would hang out. She’d cook and talk to you in the kitchen and always make sure you were invited to everything ala Davidson?”

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded. "I think you and Bri, I think you guy are well on your way." She wiped her eyes and listened to him, she loved his grandmother, the woman always made her feel like family. "Yeah I remember."

Matt

He and Bri could have something great, but he knew a lot of that was being held back due to him and with what happened months ago with the whole Ellie situation. Bri rarely brought it up but it had to have made her think he was incapable of getting his shit together. Then again, that could all be in his head. "When she passed away we each got some things of hers. And there was something she wanted you to have, but only on your wedding day. She-" he paused and closed his eyes as he looked away and said, "she thought you and I were going to get married. She'd talk about you like you were my wife." he laughed and pushed his hand into his pocket. He removed a necklace with a sapphire stone. "It was one of the only pieces of jewelry she owned before my family had money. I updated the chain but the stone is all hers." He brought it out and showed it to her. "I know it'll mean a lot to he if you wore this tomorrow. If you make this your something blue."

Mercy 

Mercedes was surprised that his grandmother left her something but she shouldn't have been. Seeing the necklace brought tears to her eyes all over again. "Oh my Gosh.." She took the necklace in her hand. "I always told her it looked like the necklace from the titanic...and she always said that Rose was a self fool and there was enough room for Jack on the boat. Every time." she laughed. "Matt I cant take this. It belongs in your family. She thought you would give it to your wife. Bri should have it."

Matt

He shook his head and moved so he could put it on her. "She said you. Mercedes. You and she were close and she loved you." He wasn't going to take it back, not when it always belonged to her. "If only there's a way she can see this but I have a feeling she knows." he said after he managed to get the clasp and moved around to see it on her. "I can only imagine how that will look with your dress. It'll probably be eaten by your cleavage. Lets be real."

Mercy 

Matt put the necklace on her neck and she looked down looking at it. "Its so beautiful." She wiped her eyes. "She was the best. I missed her everyday." She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Had to ruin it didn't you? Couldn't just let me enjoy this moment?"

Matt

"Wouldn't want it any other way," he said with a smirk. "But I'm glad I was able to get that to you tonight. It's kind of why I wanted to know if you'd be with Jack or not. It'd be weird for me to show up and give you a necklace in front of him."

Mercy 

Mercedes sighed. "Yeah, you just missed him though." she said with a smile. "We skyped for a bit before bed." She reached down for the necklace. "This is incredible though. You are so much like her you know that?"

Matt

"I heard she was an absolute horn dog in her day, so yeah. I can see the resemblance." That wasn't true and Mercedes knew it. Matt picked Mr. Snuggles back up and hugged him to his chest. "I'm going to miss these late nights with you. Our talks. The sleepovers. How we'd watch the dumbest movies imaginable and mute them to come up with our own dialogue." He looked down at the zebra and pressed his chin atop his head. "I'd say we're growing up way too fast but I'm thirty and you're an age that's not thirty. I know better than to tell a woman's age."

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed hitting his shoulder softly. "She was not and she made me hit you." Mercedes watched him for a moment. "Look how about once a month we have a sleep over. Like we used too. We can even invite Bri and Jack and it will be like us hanging out 2.0?"

Matt

"An adult sleepover? Sounds like the start to some of the porns I watch." he teased and nodded. "But yeah. If it's something we can do I'm down. I know Bri wouldn't mind it. Still not sure how Jack feels when it comes to me but I hope he comes around at some point and doesn't think I'm trying to come between you."

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed. "It should be fun, at least I think it will and Jack will come around once we are married and he sees you with Bri, when I saw you guys on Monday it was clear you have fun together. He will see that too."

Matt

"I think she's going to start wearing her cold cream ala Mrs Doubtfire. You know, with actual cake frosting." Matt said, laughing. "But yeah. I hope that's what happens. You're too big a part in my life and I can't lose you. I think I might lose my mind if we stop talking." Matt moved Mr. Snuggles away from his chest and he booped her against Mercedes' nose. "Alright. I know you need to get some sleep and I should head back to my room."

Mercy 

"Okay thats cute." She laughed. "Matt you will never lose me we are a packaged deal. Its just weird for him because of you and me and you and El but he will be okay. I think we all will." She laughed at the boop and stood. "Thank you for the talk and for this.."

Matt

"Yeah," he said as he got to his feet and started the walk towards the door. "Good thing you were still up." He reached the door and went to turn the knob but stopped. His tongue went between his teeth and he thought to say something. To tell her to give him a sign if she needed him to stop the wedding. Some sort of way out of the whole thing but what way could there be? They were trapped in these arrangements. He turned around and looked at her. A soft smile spread across his lips and he reached to take hold of her wrist and tugged her to his body again. Matt wrapped her into another hug and he pressed his face into her neck, breathing her in and feeling her warmth against his own. It would be so easy to just undo her robe and kiss her the way he used to but he knew better. He couldn't do that to her. "I love you."

Mercy 

Mercedes sighed and looked over to him as he left, and when he pulled her over to him she hugged him tightly. "I love you too Matty." She held him for another moment, knowing they both needed the hug. "I will see you tomorrow. And thank you, thank you for being her for me." She pulled away from him and smiled. Good night Matt."

Matt

His fingers went through her hair and he brought them down to her chin, giving it a little playful squeeze before smiling, “Good night, Mrs. Pierce. The next time we talk you’ll be a married woman.” He turned around and walked out. As soon as he was a good distance away Matt pressed his back against the wall and let out a shuddering breath. A cry he’d been holding in after he said her new last name slipped out and he silently wept, eventually dragging his forearm across his eyes and collecting himself. He had no fucking idea how he’ll make it through that wedding tomorrow but he’ll do it. 

He’ll do it for her.

[vibing-in-space1]

Don't cheat on me

Warnings: kinda sad?

Pairings: Matt Murdock x reader

Key: y/n = your name 

Slight au to this, Karen lives in his apartment (you'll see what I mean lol)

________

The three nights I began hating Matt Murdock: 

The first night:

She sit in the booths sipping her red wine, sighing as she checks her phone for what must have been the hundredth time.  No texts from him, no calls, no nothing. This is the third time this week he has missed their date. 

She stands, putting on her jacket and laying down a tip on the wooden table.

By the time she gets back to their shared apartment she has already decided that she needed to just get over it. She gets a bunch of blankets from the hall closet and makes popcorn, deciding to binge watch whatever she could find on Netflix. 

The 2nd night:

Tears begin to form as she sits down on the cold bench. Matt and her were supposed to have a picnic for their anniversary. "Guess that doesn't matter to him either, much like our relationship" she thinks.  She stands, wiping the tears off her cheeks harshly. She puts away everything and then quickly drives home. 

When she gets home she does the same thing as always, cuddles in blankets and watches Netflix. Alone. She never felt better about her life. (note the sarcasm there lmao)

The 3rd night:

I sit at my round table, a nice dinner placed out thoughtfully. She knew how sensitive his sense of smell was, and loved hearing his sounds of approval whenever she made something he truly enjoyed. Cooking for him was a big deal to her. So when he, yet again, never showed her heart dropped and she felt embarrassed for ever thinking he would show. She puts away the now cold food, and goes about her usual "Matt didnt show up again, like usual" routine. 

She falls asleep that night on the couch, with tear stains down her cheecks and a hole in her heart. 

*time skip to a week later*

"Hey Foggy, thanks for letting me in." She smiles greatfully at the man as she walks into their office space. 

"His room is the door on the left." He states as he gives her a sympathetic yet loving smile. He had always loved the woman, and often felt anger at the man for hurting so many times. But Foggy knew why Matt missed all the dates, and couldn't possibly resent the man for saving people and stopping the bad guys. 

She knocks lightly on his door, knowing he'll easily be able to hear not only the knock but also her pounding heart. 

a small sweat breaks out on her forehead as she starts to regret showing up here. It was pointless really, he was busy and she was interrupting his important work and-

Her thoughts are cut off when the door opens. Matt's eyes widen a bit as he realizes who is standing in his doorway. They haven't seen each other in a few weeks, actually seen each other. Besides the fact that they lived together, they had hardly spoke to one another in ages. Matt would get home when the light began to rise above the city, and then y/n would leave a few hours later for work. Neither of them spoke to each other between that time, both usually asleep. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked gently, cocking his head to the side with a confused expression written on his face. 

"Well, I haven't seen you in forever, so I figured I could bring you lunch and maybe talk?" She questions.

Hes caught off guard by her idea. He knew they hadn't talked in over a month, his schedule didnt quite allow him.

He opens the door wider in a silent agreement with her. She comes in and places the bags on his desk.

"So, hows your work going?"

"Um good...I guess" he clears his throat and sits down, beginning to take the Chinese food out of the bag.

With a deep sign she asks the question they were both expecting.

"Where have you been Matt?"

An awkward silence fills the air, her heart breaking a little more each second there's silence.

" I have to show you something." He says suddenly.

Shes caught off guard, but quickly moves on with an eye roll.

"We have to go to my apartment." He says, already putting on his coat by the door.

Her eyes widen, "you mean the one Karen now lives in?" She questions.

"That's the one" he says, cracking a small smile.

* another time skip cause my ass is lazy *

"Wow" she breathes. Her heart has nearly stopped beating, or maybe its beating so fast it just seems like its stopped.

Her hands run over the smooth material of the suit he was holding.

She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

He was Daredevil! Him! Of all the people in the world she could date and she just happened to pick freaking Daredevil!

" Y/n I know it's hard to comprehend, but its be great if you could say something, I might die of anticipation" he said with a small laugh.

"You're daredevil" she breathes out.

"That's what we're talking about sweetheart" they both laugh now.

In one quick motion her hands are wrapped around him and shes stuffing her nose in the crook of his neck.

"I love you" she muffled out.

"I love you too babe, what's up?" He says with a wide smile

"Nothing, just grateful to have an awesome boyfriend like you" she responds looking up at him with a wide smile.

"But now that I know you arent cheating on me, can we actually go on dates now?" She pleads.

"Oh my god, y/n, you thought I was cheating on you!?" He exclaims.

Well, yeah I guess. I mean you were never around and I mean, you're dating me and most guys I've been with have cheated - I'm rambling sorry."

"Babe," he says pulling away some but keeping his hand on her shoulders tightly "I would never cheat on you, ever" he says, complete sincerity in his voice.

"I believe you" she whispers. Leaning up she gently places her lips on his. He wraps his arms around her small frame and pulls her into a hug.

An: thanks for reading! Sorry I'm bad at endings lmao. Let me know if there's any mistakes

[darkarfs]

Street Hunter

A film so mired in obscurity it doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. One of several films I own that never even got a bootleg DVD release, and you can probably only watch it if you find a Portuguese subtitled version on Dailymotion, or own the VHS and requisite VCR. Before we dive into this film, I should mention that the only reason I own this movie in the first place is that, around 2010-2011 (a simpler time, really) I became stone-cold obsessed with the career of one Reb Brown. Reb, for the MST3K set, played David Ryder in the South African railing-kill-fest that was Space Mutiny. You know, that guy. Tall, beefy, had all the acting range of an airhorn, looked kind of like a retired football player? He's actually had a storied, odd career, one that traverses a lot of genres and a lot of roles. Mostly, he did Italian knock-offs of movies like Terminator, Predator, Rambo, that sort of thing. A lot, and I mean a LOT of war movies, mostly ones taking place during Vietnam. But then he was also in things like Uncommon Valor with Gene Hackman, the Howling 2: Stirba Werewolf Bitch with Christopher Lee and Sybil Danning, and was actually the first ever Captain America, even before that really goofy one with Matt Salinger in 1990. And for some reason, I was more than entertained by watching him do what he does, and what he tends to do more often than not is...well, yell and fire machine guns into the jungle. He does that...a LOT. And he's in this film! But first, if I may reflect for just a moment. As soon as I put this into the VCR, it gave me the sneak previews of other movies made by the same distributor. I'm not a nostalgia sucker, I don't agree with things being better in the old days. But I genuinely, truly miss these. The previews on DVDs are always for the big blockbuster releases, but the ones on VHS? Who fucking KNEW what you were getting! The previews on B-movie VHS tapes are often how I found the next movie I was gonna watch! Turns out, tho, that the first preview was for the aforementioned 1990 Captain America with Matt Salinger. The 2nd was for a movie I really wanna check out now, though, and it's a ream of unconnected nonsense called the House of Usher, with Oliver Reed! This was before bad movies became that self-aware kind of bad. As a friend of mine once said; anyone can knowingly shit their pants, that's not funny. A person *not realizing* they shit their pants...that's comedy. The hero's name is Logan Blade, a name up there with Snake Plissken and John Matrix for "most action-hero name of all time." Not played by Reb (he's actually the weird, semi-warped villain in this piece), but instead by the late Steve James, who usually ended up playing the hero's sidekick in a lot of movies like this one. And you'd probably recognize ol' Frank Vincent, aka the White-Haired Guy with the Black Eyebrows in Every Movie About the Mafia. The movie starts with a bunch of heavily-armed garbage men raiding a gravesite to steal a mountain of cocaine from a guy’s casket. And they’re led by...John Leguizamo?? Yeahp. That’s him.

The guys kick over a tombstone that is 100% made of styrofoam...(one guy’s foot is all it takes, and I wish I could gif it, because it bounces)

and then are suddenly flanked by a bunch of Italian mobsters. Turns out Leguizamo’s gang are Colombian drug lords, and they’re here to steal the mob’s cocaine from this grave. The Italians have them surrounded, until Luigi’s group is flanked by 7 more dudes, led by...

Ah! There’s my dude. He immediately shouts and he and the goons shoot them all dead. THEN Logan Blade shows up, and I gotta admit, he looks like a seriously legit, badass dude.

You know, you’re kind of destined to become a renegade cop or bounty hunter with a name like Logan Blade. You don’t run into many wedding photographers with that name. He takes out all of Luigi’s goons and takes him in alive, and then maybe the weirdest, most sincerely funny thing about this film to me.

An 80s action movie where the police chief and the renegade bounty hunter...get along great! Like, uncharacteristically well! “Dammit, Blade! The mayor’s been all over my ass about those 6 bodies you left in the cemetery! You’re making my WHOLE department look great! You keep this up, and I’ll promote your ass to lieutenant so fast it’ll make your head spin!” Then we meet Blade’s friend, an avuncular grey-haired guy who may as well say “I’ve reunited with with my wife after 3 years and the guys at the precinct are throwing me a giant retirement party tomorrow” for how quickly and seamlessly he telegraphs the fact that he’s next to die. He calls Blade “paranoid” and insists that he “worries too much.” Gets shot in the next scene, and frees Leguizamo’s character (named Angel, should have mentioned that.) Reb cautions Angel that he should “always follow orders.” Y’see, Reb his basically a mercenary who stone-facedly pines for the days of the greatest generals, your Alexander the Great, your Genghis Khan, your Napoleon. He even tells Angel that “you should be as Philotas was to me, Alexander the Great.” (Alexander the Great had Philotas falsely accused of an assassination attempt and then had him beat to death with fucking rocks. Your references won’t get past me, movie!) Then we get to maybe my favorite scene in the entire movie. The Diablo gang send a crew of 3 guys to assassinate Blade’s girlfriend, which will either make him surrender in terror, or drive him into an insane murder fury.  Now, I have real issues with this in films, when someone kills the girl to get to the guy. Happens in all the big action films where the good guy is muscling in on the rival gangs or the mob or whoever. She’s being held by one guy, and defiantly spits in his friends’ face. My face fell the first time. “Oh, no.” I thought.

He goes to slash her face with a switchblade...

...she ducks, and he accidentally slits the other guy’s throat. She then takes out the one guy with a candle holder, and the third...well, thank God she was using a cast-iron pan to cook...something...when they show up. She throws the hot food in his face and then bashes his head in with the pan. ...my man Reb has not trained these men well.  But it turns out, a cop was on the mafia’s take! (This guy was in one scene, eating a donut, not a single line. You’d never have guessed a man you’d assumed an extra would be working for Don Hermano!)

So they take his girlfriend, and then Blade gives chase...

...in what looks like a 1979 Ford Econoline. Not exactly great for catching bad guys.

...unless he had a fucking HYPERDRIVE installed. What?! Yeah, okay, I’m on board! Blade closes in on the corrupt cop and Reb, who are...where else? A warehouse on the outside of town. Blade brings his dog, a nameless Doberman (he never calls it anything but “boy”) to help the fact that he’s outnumbered. Reb then tells one of the bad guys to “shoot that mutt!” I again braced myself to be disappointed and sad. The bad guy fires three shots and misses with all three as the dog runs away. He turns to Reb. “Sorry, jefe,” he says.

Reb immediately shoots him in the head. Got a genuine laugh out of me. A thing used by the villain 3 times in Sudden Death as a punchline just made me sad. Here, actual laugh. Dunno how these things work, but I imagine it’s a matter of tone. There’s some weird, “what we saw in ‘Nam” undercurrent through the whole movie. It’s what hardened Blade and made him a bounty hunter, but also what made Reb the general-worshipping lunatic merc he ends up being. It’s not but touched on, but I guess it’s as good a theme as any for a hero and a villain in one of these movies. The problem I have with this now...is that the movie ends really anticlimactically. Blade disposes of the goombas and the diablos in basically one fell swoop, and then challenges Reb to a one-on-one fight. He handily whoops Reb’s ass (a little disappointing, seeing how all he does is talk a great big heaping game about how the generals inspired his military tactics and how he fights) and then...leaves. No, really. Blade wins the fight and then leaves Reb behind. Reb goes to find him, but it turns out Blade has, for no reason, a block of C-4. Dunn where he got it. Reb trips over it, and it literally makes a squib-like “PUFF!”

and he falls through what amounts to a perfect square hole he was standing on. Blade essentially set up a trap door for him, and then Reb just stepped on it.  Blade punches Angel, restrains him, and then...the movie just kind of ends.

A movie with a lot of promise, but with an ending I couldn’t help but find flat. But they used by boy Reb real well, and that’s got to account for something. 

[chaossheithsideficblog]

Unbound Incubus

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender

Relationships: Shiro/Keith

    Keith did not understand why meeting Shiro’s friends had him completely in emotional knots but it did. He checks his outfit for the third time in the full-length mirror. He brushes his hair back and pulls it into a ponytail. He likes his more human appearance. Not that he did not like his tiny bat wings and little horns. He also likes Shiro’s farmstead. You think with as many cats as the weretiger had the place would smell like cat. It smells like lavender, musk, and some other scent that was unique to the weretiger.

    He walks out of the room. The bedroom that Shiro informed him was his for as long as he stayed on Earth. He really wanted was Shiro’s bed with Shiro in it. The weretiger was proving to be strong-willed. Keith was not sure if he was proud of that or annoyed. He had yet to decide on which emotion it was. Shiro was quite good at saying no. Keith respected that even if he did not understand. The sex demon thought he was losing his touch.

    He sits down on the sofa and picks up one of the books Shiro had recommended. It was a book on human manners. The demon truth be told found the book fascinating. Shiro also had told him not many practiced their manner correctly. The weretiger wished they would. For good manners would smooth over many a not great situation. So the lust demon sat and read. He wanted to navigate this human-centered world without too many mistakes on his part. Red jumped up on his lap, curled up on her favorite supernatural being and purred in her sleep.

    Shiro came in from feeding his cats. He sees his unintentional guest. Red was sleeping in Keith’s lap. He was going to be introducing the demon of lust to his friends this evening. He was praying to the ones who walked this world before them that it ends well. Lance’s attitude was the only thing he thinks could put a damper on this. Well, maybe Pidge’s ‘I have no filter that the gods installed’ might even create tension. He just didn't know. He was just glad his many streams of income work so well. He had book royalties coming in as well as his work as an insurance salesperson twice a week.

    Shiro disappears into his own bedroom. He takes a shower to wash the farm off him. As he washes he wonders what Keith might want to do to earn his own money. Shutting the water off. He steps out, drys off, and then gets dressed. He wanders out to where Keith was sitting. “Keith, I hate to interrupt your reading.” Keith looks over the top of his book. Which Shiro had to admit was super cute to himself. “What do you think you might want to do to make money?”

    “Well I know I don’t want to whore myself out,” Keith smirks as he pets Red. He watches the emotions play across Shiro’s face he knew the word choice was shocking even in its truth. “That would be easier and what I know. Well, what I am used to.” He pauses. “I would like to learn how to build motorcycles or fix them or both.”

    “I will get books on that. I will also see about getting you a laptop or a tablet so you can take online classes in that subject.” Shiro smiles. “I think a vocation that is not what you happen to be is a great idea.” His gaze is warm to Keith. “I think you create beautiful motorcycles. I also think you create beautiful art.”

    Keith put his chin in his hands. “Maybe I could do more than one thing. I could write erotica at night and build motorcycles during the day. Erotica would be easy I know the sex.” Shiro nods.

    Later that evening, Shiro answers the door as the doorbell peels through the house. His friends were all there. Including some of Coran’s friends who were Elders of the Supernatural world. “Come in everyone.” Keith looks over at the door and the people streaming in. Red hisses at the intrusion and disappears abandoning Keith to these strangers. Everyone looks at him in surprise. The group of incoming supernaturals recognized the kind of supernatural before them just not what type.

    “You wanted a meeting.” Allura looks at her friend strangely as she weaves at Keith. She had not yet sensed what he was. She just knew he was different. “Who is this?”

    “Everyone please sit down I’ll explain why I called a meeting.” Shiro goes to stand behind the chair that Keith was sitting in. They both watch as the others all take their seats. “This is Keith. He is a demon of lust.”

    “Now Shiro,” Lance breaks in. “If you were really that hard up you did not need to call a demon of lust up to help you out. I have a black book full of people you could meet.”

    “Lance.” Shiro’s voice held that tone of annoyance that most people did not miss unless the person in question was Lance. “He was summoned not by me but by some babies who had no clue what they were doing. He is unbound. No contract. Nothing to send him back to where he is from.” Lance blinks. Shiro points at the ratty looking book on the table. “They used that book Allura.” Allura picks up the book and begins leafing through it.

    “Oh boy,” her eyes widen, “This is one of those books that I’m gonna lock in my locked bookshelves. Where did they get this?!”

    “No clue. It’s an old book.” Shiro shrugs.

    “So your new roommate is a lust demon.” Pidge’s gaze rakes over Keith in a way that sets his teeth on edge. “He is not dressed like one. He looks pretty normal for a human looking person.”

    Keith’s eyes narrow. He was dressed in a t-shirt, flannel, and skinny jeans. His hair pulled back into a ponytail. “I refuse to become an experiment.”

    Hunk realizing what Keith was seeing. “Pidge whatever your thinking. No. You're not turning him into an experiment.”

    “What is he going to do with his time?” Coran looks between the two. He could see something forming there. It was too soon to tell what it was exactly.

    “Thinking about writing erotica.” Keith shrugs, “at least until I learn how to create, and repair motorcycles.”

    Matt hums to himself. “Seems my research comes in handy here. I do have a couple of questions for Keith.” He looks over at the demon, “will you answer them for me? I promise they are not too intrusive.”

    “As long as they are not intrusive.” Keith agrees. He takes in the group around him. Including the man that had not said anything yet. The man looks almost elf-like with sunset dusk looking skin. He notes the pointed ears on Allura and Coran as well. Most the others had normal round ears.

    “Do you or do you not need to kill people as they are having sex with you,” Matt questions. His hands are in his pockets. His question quiets the mummer of voices from the others.

    “No, I do not.” Keith smiles lightly. It's just a tiny curve of his lips. “That’s a common misconception. I cannot say that other incubus or succubus have not used sex to drain and kill human or supernaturals like themselves.” He pauses to gather his thoughts. “I can feed off of people having sex. I can feed off of feelings of lust. I have found that I can eat human food when Shiro cooks it. I don’t know about others yet.” He pauses. “If they are killing others via sex it's because the demon chooses to. Not because it was needed or uncontrollable thing.”

    Matt looks up stunned. “That is good information.” The others mummer around him. “Would you choose to return to hell?”

    “Nope,” Keith pops the p when he speaks. “I’d rather not. I’m at least safe here. No one is trying to convince me to fuck them. No one is trying to rape me if I refuse to fuck them. All in all, I choose to stay here.”

    “Aren't you supposed to like all sex?” Pidge looks confused.

    “No one likes being raped including lust demons,” Keith shakes his head. “No one likes being overpowered. Though I do know some lust demons who have used their charms to change a no to a yes. Which I still think is wrong. No is a no. Find a different target.” He looks over at Matt. “I won’t count your sister’s question as the third one.”

    “Thank you,” Matt eyes his sister as Pidge blushes. “You actually believe in consent?”

    “Yes,” Keith nods, “I do. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Plus the energy is wrong if it's not given truly freely.”

    Shiro frowns, “energy is wrong?”

    “It tastes off. It's hard to explain to someone that doesn't require energy to feed.” Keith sighs. His face looks thoughtful to those watching him. “I suppose the difference would be like great craft beer and poorly made commercial beer.”

    Matt nods.

    Lance frowning, “so you have not had sex with Shiro.”

    Shiro draws himself up to his full height. He glares at Lance. Lance holds his hands up and tries to make himself smaller on the sofa he was sitting on.

    Keith pouts. “I’ve tried. He says no.”

    The entire group looks at Shiro. He glares at them too.

[rejectedbyeharmony]

A Date with the Devil

After Matt and I split up, I didn’t waste any time meeting new people. I was so angry I didn’t give myself a chance to be sad. While we were together, a new dating app came out. Bumble was like Tinder in its functionality, but it was designed by women for women. So there was an additional layer of safety built in. Plus the formatting was super cute. I dated a whole mess of guys that summer and into the fall. But nothing was really sticking. A lot of guys who oversold themselves, ended up being very disappointing in real life.

Then there was Elliot. I swiped right for him on Bumble and after looking through his pictures and profile, I thought that he was... non-threatening. He wasn’t hot, but he was on my level. I wasn’t sure what to say because he hadn’t written any text in the profile, he just had a few pictures that made me smile, because he looked fun.

So I sent a message, which is customary for the woman to do first on this particular app. And I said “Elliot is my favorite name.” And this may or may not have been true, but one of my best friends recently named her son Elliot and I found it charming, and I had never met another Elliot before.

We started chatting and he immediately wanted to call me on the phone. I thought that was great, because I really found that I bond best with people by talking rather than texting. We spent the next couple days chatting on the phone as often as possible, and really starting to become very fond of each other.

On day three, he asked me to lunch on a whim, and it freaked me out. I made up an excuse, but the truth was that I was super intimidated to meet him because he seemed too good to be true. He, completely butthurt, ignored me for the next 12 hours. This was not the first time he manipulated my feelings. The night before, he laughed while we were on the phone and said “seriously is this a set up? Who put you up to this?” He made me believe I was such a great match for him, that the only logical explanation was that I was some kind of practical joke by his friends.

After he iced me out for the rest of the day, I texted him the next morning to apologize. He asked me to dinner in a week and said “if I can’t convince you to meet me in a week, then it wasn’t meant to be.” The date was going to be on the Friday before Halloween, which happened to be my only free weekend for the foreseeable future, so i couldn’t bail on this one. I agreed to dinner and joked with him that it “better be something nice.” I could tell he did his research, because later he asked if I had ever been to this French place in Woodbridge called Bistro L’hermitage, arguably the nicest restaurant in my hometown. I had never been there, and the idea of going to someplace so fancy for a first date really excited me.

Up to this point, most of my dates had been on barstools. It was rare that a man even offered to buy me dinner. But, here was this man, who was tall, charming, smart, funny, and was willing to take me to a nice dinner, and also pick me up! He drove his car to my house to pick me up. He didn’t even pull up and honk. He walked up to the door to get me. When he rang the doorbell that night my body was electric. I was so scared and excited, and when I opened the door, he kissed me immediately. He laughed, and said “I’ve been wanting to do that since we first talked on the phone.” I had too. We had chemistry and he made me feel a sense of admiration and belonging that I never truly experienced before.

We drove to dinner while sharing a cigarette, and laughed about getting the social awkwardness out-of-the-way. We pulled up at the restaurant and walked inside. It was something out of the 70s frozen in time, and everyone who was dining there looked like they had been there all along. We made funny faces at each other when we sat down and immediately started laughing about the absurdity of it all. He was just a guy who wanted to take a girl on a nice date, and I was just a girl that didn’t know any better. We spent our entire dinner giggling and people watching, and making fun of each other. And I really felt like I had met my match. This was already the best date I’ve ever been on, and we were barely see through the first course. We finished dinner with brandy, which seemed so sophisticated. He wore a suit. He had class, and I could tell he came from good stock. Whatever that means, I had heard it before and it finally made sense to me.

After dinner he asked if I wanted to grab a drink, I laughed and suggested that we go to the dirtiest dive bar I knew in Woodbridge, The Queens Gambit. He checked every box so far, but if he could hang at the Gambit, this one was a keeper. He had lived in Woodbridge before, and had only heard about the Gambit and it’s raunchy reputation. So naturally, we HAD to go there.

Our faces lit up as soon as we got inside, we beelined for the bar, and ordered the same beer and the same shot and proceeded to have a hilarious evening getting wasted together. He was very amused with the bar and the vibe and kept telling me how happy he was that we were there. He grabbed my hand and looked me in my eyes and said “god Katie, I am infatuated with you.” I was too. He was my person. I knew it.

At some point my friend Lindsay showed up and wanted to go to another bar, and us being the kind of down-for-anything people we were, followed. In our Uber, Elliot was charming with the driver and flirted with the older woman in a way that was playful, and sweet, but never disrespectful. I was drunk, but I really felt like this was the most amazing person that I had ever met. And this was, by far, the best date I’d ever been on. He followed me and my friends to the next bar, and really impressed them as well.

At the end of the night he mentioned that he had a friend that he was house sitting for, in Woodbridge. Odd that he hadn’t mentioned this before, but also kind of gentlemanly that he wouldn’t invite himself back to my house. We certainly could’ve gone back to my empty house, but he was offering… So I took the chance to spend more time with him. We went back to the house and were so wasted, that I don’t even think that we had sex. We just went to sleep. The next morning I woke up to find that he ran out to get food to make us breakfast. I thought that was really sweet, but his cooking was not the best. I struggled through the breakfast and he groaned as he realized that I was choking on his cooking. I patted him on the back for effort and wanted to kiss him, but I desperately needed a toothbrush. And a shower.

I suggested that I go home and shower but he didn’t want me to leave. I needed to get home and feed my cat, so I had to promise I would return in order to pry myself away from him. It was cute and at the time I didn’t feel manipulated, but in hindsight he really didn’t give me a chance to set any healthy boundaries.

Within hours he was calling, asking me if I wanted to see him again. I had plans to go to game night at my girl Lizz’s house, so I texted her first to see if it was cool if I brought Elliot along. She was all “cool” and he was all “hell yeah”. So I was excited. I thought this would be another great test of his level of boyfriend material if he could hang with a different set of friends, and participate in game night with the same enthusiasm as I would. Naturally, he didn’t disappoint.

We laughed the whole night, starting with the trip to her house. The drive from my house to her house can be shortcutted through the woods in Clifton. I drove fast and reckless through the winding dark roads that I knew very well. He squealed and pretended to panic, and called his sister on speaker, “I love you and I’m fearing for my life right now, if I don’t call you tomorrow, this girls name is Katie and she lives in Woodbridge and she took me in the woods to murder me.” We laughed with his sister on the phone for awhile, and said we couldn’t wait to meet each other. My heart was bursting and my face hurt from smiling. This was all happening very fast and it felt like a movie. But it never felt wrong or not real.

We had a great time at game night. This was the first of many nights when he impressed me with his gravitas and charm. Elliot had this way of building a bromance with every man that he met, and being a big brother to every woman that he met, and everyone just loved him. He would show me affection in front of people, and I would get these knowing smiles from my friends, that said what an incredible man I found. I was on cloud nine after that weekend we spent together.

Sunday morning we were making a second attempt at breakfast, this time he was my sous chef. The night before I kicked off my shoes in the dining room, so I went looking for them while we were cleaning up after breakfast. The sun coming through the bay window lit up a series of picture frames on the wall in front of me. There was a beautiful redhead in almost all the pictures, so I decided she must be the homeowner. And then there was a picture of her with Elliot. Their faces were pressed together and his arm was strongly wrapped around her shoulders. She looked protected and loved. They looked happy

My stomach sank as I recalled a brief conversation we had on the phone before we met, about how he and his ex-wife lived in Woodbridge. He failed to mention that we were in that house... That we made a weekend love nest out of their former home. We ate food off of their plates, that they may have received as a wedding present. And that we had sex in his ex-wife’s bed.

Every joyful moment of that weekend replayed in my head to cover over the grief I was experiencing with this revelation. This moment would set the tone for the next two years, and fine tuned the mechanics of how I would forgive every bad moment with a highlight reel of the good ones. That was the weekend I fell in love with a sociopath and let him slowly and carelessly destroy me.

[podmusical]

The Ballad of GG Scrumptious, Part 1

Credits and Lyrics for Episode 7 of Days of Future Fuzz

starring:

“Narrator” - Jordan Gelber Golden George Scrumptious - Andrew Radford Butler

written by Jonathan A. Goldberg music by Matt roi Berger

recorded, mixed and edited by Marcus Bagala and Will Melones

NARRATOR

Oh hello there, what’s that?  You want a story?

Something real and true, but perhaps, too, allegory?

Oh well, let me see, let me see, let me have a drink

And think up a story worth your time - let me think-

Ah! I’ve got it, and it’s got it all!

A hero and prophecy, a warning, a fall

A promise, a history - hidden, but crucial

And a secret you’ll never guess - though maybe you will

I think you look smart, I mean, you came here to me

When you needed some fun - that’s as smart as can be.

So what do you say?  Let me lay out the scene

Let’s start at the beginning, the best place to begin:

Born beneath a lard-shaped star

The moon was in the House of Starch

(The house, by far, the fattest -

Like being born in a fry basket)

His mother labored in great pain

16 lbs, this fellow weighed

And his eyes shown like a grease stain

Skin glowed like a casserole fresh made

His mama named him Golden George

Papa Scumptious was overjoyed

Said “we’ll call him GG for short.”

He was in the kitchen by age two

Cooking breast milk cheese fondu

Had his mama spooked - but one taste she knew:

Her boy cooked naturally

Over time his talents grew

And his confidence grew too

Said he would shape the world of food,

Fast and Casually.

He sang:

GOLDEN GEORGE

My gifts know no restraints

Soon all the world will know my name

My gift to all shall be

An escape from drudgery

Via culinary artistry.

NARRATOR

So how do you like him? Guess he’s our hero

The boy with a wish and a gift… and an ego.

But this amico was on to somethin’ -

The world is bitter and cold and troublin’

But nothing’s so warm as something straight out the oven

And filling you up and giving you comfort

Adjusting your dials and pushing all your right buttons.

So why not toot his honker when he’s so much to offer?

Food and drink HEAL - and this boy was a doctor

But he needed more than a gift or a wish

He needed more than an ego - he needed a DISH.

GOLDEN GEORGE

It’s time to make my fortune

So let the world prepare

I’ll save their mouths from boredom

All other chefs beware!

I’ll keep the oil flowing

I’ll keep the oven hot

I’ll find the dish that shows them

What I’ve got!  Yeah!

Teryaki steak tips!

Buttered sweetbread fries

Cheese-laced onion blossom

Ranch on the side

Now, here’s my masterpiece! It’s

Piled high with 7 cheeses

What taste, what artistry

Baked Macaroni - I’m a genius!

NARRATOR

And though it sounds simple, and maybe you laugh

That macaroni pasta put GG on the map

That macaroni pasta was better than yours by half

His use of thousand island dressing WAS astounding

Over seven layers of cheeses, french AND italian

And one that might be Russian but ain’t NO body telling

Mm mm!

See, the recipe’s a secret, and GG’s smart to keep it

Cuz everyone wanted what that bastard was selling

The momentum of this dish on every wish list

Was enough to propel him to the highest echelon

Of chef’s and give him what they all were eyeing:

FRANCHISING!

But as GG sat in his kitchen, in Centralia New Jersey

Sizing up contracts, showered in glory

He felt a worry, an itch left un scratched

He was lost in the dark, lost his spark, all seemed black.

Something ached in his twice baked heart

Tho his macaroni was a work of art

All that work felt artless heartless

See, at the top, the drop’s all you got left

Now, his hostess was a beauty queen

Named Melanie Marie Manzine

Triple M saw GG’s depression

And so she pulled him near to tell him:

TRIPLE M

“I watched you build this place -

The joy that played across your face.

Why not give everyone

A taste thereof

Fill your menu with that joy and fun.”

GOLDEN GEORGE

Fun?  Yeah,

NARRATOR

thought GG,

GOLDEN GEORGE

that’s the one!

The ingredient I had, but since had shunned

I’ve been so high on my own hot air

I’ve lost the fun that got me there.

Food should always be fun!

It’s entertainment for tongues!

That was obvious once

But I was blind I was dumb

As to what I’d become!

Goodbye to former pursuits!

Better to give and include!

Without further ado, I present you

A place where the food can always lighten the mood

The all new GG Scrumptious, where fun is always on the menu!

NARRATOR

Well, you can guess what happened next

Oh, you can’t?  Well here it is:

GG rethought the plot of his vocation

He let go of the top and focused on elation

The silly joy and fun of stuffing your face and

Drinking your weight in

Milkshakes and

When his restaurant reopened after a short renovation

It was a success!  He was met with adulation,

And opened up franchises in 7000 plus locations!

GOLDEN GEORGE

GG Scrumptious, where fun is always on the menu!

NARRATOR

And he married his muse! Yes he truly fell for

That clever, wild woman who’d been running the door.

Triple M and double G had their lives intertwined

By a wild west rabbi named Tex Rubenstein

Beneath a papermache macaroni

In the most beautiful mixed-denominational ceremony

GOLDEN GEORGE

Finally everything is right

I love my work, I love my wife

This is more than I ever could have hoped for

TRIPLE M

[Crying]

GOLDEN GEORGE

What’s this?  My love, why do you cry?

Tell me and I will make it right!

There is no worry we’ve in sight

TRIPLE M

“GG, I’m pregnant!”

NARRATOR

What?  You don’t feel the tension?

Yes of course a child’s a blessing

It’s just - oh, I get the impression

You’re missing a key component to our hero’s depression.

So, for a second let’s leave the present.  

It’s time for a little history lesson…

Long ago when the world was young

When the restaurant game had not yet begun

Casual eateries didn’t exist

And the only fast food was that you couldn’t catch

If early man sought something good to eat (yeah!)

He’d best fall down on his knees and pray to the gods of drink and feast.

It was the perfect way,

And would still be today, but…

A lesser god of feast was this gal Edesia

Ha - your face betrays you never heard the name.

You missed nothing if you never met her

Though she thought she was an up and comer in game

She made a plan to be

The greatest god of food and drink in history

She’d show humans the holy ways

And thus secure their love and praise

Till the end of days

Well she didn’t wait more than a thousand years

When a man hit bottom and her chance appeared

A failing chef named Ray of the Romulus line

Stumbled in and begged at the foot of her shrine

He wanted fame and a chance to succeed

He was a fine mix of talent and greed

She saw her play

And she didn’t delay

Gave him a vision:

Her, descending on the gravy rain.

The salty brown drops

Washed his pain away

And she offered him the deal

That saw the world changed

In her vision, she said to him:

EDESIA

“Oh Ray unknown, how your talent and your pallet go to waste

As well you know, Gods tip the balance, and in their talons grip your fate

In this market how can you make

Your name known?  Oh no!

But I’ve a deal that, if you should take,

Your fame will grow, and grow, and grow!

I see your wonder, see the hunger in your eyes

With my secrets you’ll stun ‘em be their culinary prize

All that I charge of you

Is never have a child - your praise alone is mine

Yes, no children shall you bear

Though many will you claim as hairs in time

Yes the king of food for all your days

The people will taste and they will praise

O’er all you’ll reign, you’ll not be done

You’ll rise so long as the sun has rays

You’ll rise so long as the sun has rays

You’ll rise so long as the sun has rays

And only set when the Rays have son.”

NARRATOR

You’ll rise so long as the sun has rays

And only set when the Rays have son.

Well Ray thought that sounded mighty fair -

A heavenly answer to his despair.

He bowed in praise, swore his faith blindly

Which, for gods, is legally binding

Ran down to town to his deep fried peacock eye food cart

In an hour he’d sold out, he was the talk of the town, his food a work of art!

And it grew and it grew and it grew and it grew

And Ray learned the secret that the Gods all knew

And he used them to create a new empire

Food that’s fun served fast, with cheer

Paired with a casual atmosphere

Fills all with food, yes, true, but too - delight!

People could not get enough

They came to get their faces stuffed

How nice! … for Ray…

The gods of food and drink were forgot

Edesia too, it seems her plot

Backfired.

And Ray looked down over all he commanded

By his death, to 1042 locations had he expanded

And as the ages changed, so did Ray’s descendants menus

As they took the empire to new, exciting venues

The Visigoth Grill, Crusader’s Crudo

Pita the Great, Dynasty Noodles

The Original Scythian Style Pub

Bennigans, Arby’s and Stubbie’s Subs

Mongol Flay It Yourself Easy Horse

And on and on til present day, of course.

And the most powerful chain on down that line

Was the Ray’s Pizza Franchise

Featuring Real Ray’s, Original Ray’s, Real Original Ray’s

Famous Ray’s, Infamous Ray’s and Ray’s of other Names

From the first Ray’s cart, this chain had continued

And you could still order peacock eyes off the secret menu.

And they ruled all the franchises with an iron fist

Ah - but how did Ray’s have heirs, if Ray’s never did have kids…?

Listen to this:

Oh it was all part of Edesia’s promise

Which was so poorly thought out it was almost comic

The contract was written up by the best lawyer of the time

Marcus Legislatus, and the print was very fine

As his wife had written it all by hand

And Marcus had married the most beautiful cricket in all the land!

But we don’t have time for that part!

What matters is the deal at this vile contract’s heart:

The Ray to Play Stipulation…

…which stated

That any chain restaurant whose owner mated

Forfeited their first born child to the Rays

Or they handed in their restaurants - either way, they all paid.

And the chains turned over became the Ray’s

And the children turned over - well, the Ray’s they became

Many chains tried to avoid this doom:

Ray Kroc hid his son in a Grimace costume

Papa John put Baby John in a basket of reeds

Dave Thomas sent Wendy to live in a tree

But each was found out, and each child was claimed

And through old, evil magic, was changed to a Ray…

Mama chef, papa chef, RUN! Hide your child away.

Look how the Rays come, on the 5th birthday of,

Oh!, what you most love, they’re gonna take away, and,

Oh!, what you most love -They’re gonna make a Ray.

They’ll file in, eat up all that you’ve got

And you must feed them your best - whether you wanna or not.

Then when they’re done - oh! - that’s when you give ‘em either

The first child of your blood, or all of your franchises

All that you’ve built, oh!, is it worth the pain

Worth all the guilt - oh - to see your child a Ray?

Many parents chose of course their child to keep

But many a chef was overcome with greed

And that’s how the Rays stayed on top of the game

And that about brings us up to date.

So now you may be keen

To the fear that chilled GG

When Mel

Said that she was with son…

All he’d made, all he’d created

Was to crumble lest he gave their

Son…

What was to be done…

GOLDEN GEORGE

My dear please dry your tears

You’ve nought to fear for our son’s life…

Let the Rays take all I’ve made,

I promise I won’t contemplate

The trade of child for franchise…

NARRATOR

Well, Triple M was overjoyed

But you and me, we know our boy

GG’s not the sort

To sell himself short

He doesn’t give - he takes!

And he’d fight, he might even tempt fate…

Sure he’d changed his ways,

But to give up everything he’d made?? it-

Was a thought that repulsed him, everything he hated.

Well GG Jr came short months later

And his parents love - well, it couldn’t have been greater

And though GG’d been conflicted on what was to be done.

He’d greatly underestimated how much he’d love his son.

GOLDEN GEORGE

Feel how his smile calms me

See how his hands are strong

He’ll be flipping frying pans before too long!

God, he’s such a nat’ral!

See him with that spatula!

One day all that I’ve made will be… no…

NARRATOR

Yes…

And two weeks before lil G turned 5

A letter came in the mail, said “It’s Time.

We march your way in 14 days.

Prepare our feast.  Signed, the Rays.”

Outside there was a storm, but there was a knock at the door

GG turned and saw dripping on his floor

A chef, clad all in mauve

How’d the man get inside?  GG worried this was bad

But the chef simply smiled and acted as if he had

All the answers in the world.  And GG eased, suddenly calm.

He offered the Mauve Chef a drink, but then the chef dropped a bomb:

He looked GG in the eye

And the Mauve Chef said:

MAUVE CHEF

“I can save your son

Save all that you’ve done

But you must be brave,

No matter the pain

And do as I say.”

To be continued…

[ultrashattereddreamsworld]

Same Auld Lang Syne

By Steven Cook based on true events

And inspired by the song wrote by Dan Fogelberg

Table of contents

Chapter One. A season of change

Chapter Two. Home bond

Chapter Three. Same Auld Lang Syne

Chapter Four So this is Christmas

Chapter Five A Moment of Youth.

Characters

Orry (Brother)

Molly (sister)

Joanna (Sister in Law)

Brianna (Ex)

Mamz (mom)

Dad (dad)

Pastor Mike (Pastor)

Me (as me)

Kody (Brother in Law)

Other character have small parts are not mentioned in the summary. Thank Ya’ll for everything.

Chapter One. A season of change

The Bible says there is a season for everything. Looking back, I see how true those words really are. I tend to find myself daydreaming drifting back into the past when I first found true love. That truly was a weird summer. The year was 2011 the season was summer. We was getting our house remodel. Me and my sister recently just changed schools. I was attending a private school, but I switched schools to a public school. My family our mom would always tell me “out of every bad situation God would make something good out it.” I never thought there would be anything good about my dad kicking me, my brother, sister, and mother out of the house. Boy was I wrong. That summer I turned a corner in my soul.

I never forget I was the depressed homeless senior in high school my dad just kicked us out. I never liked my sister friend Kate, but she did give us a place to stay so I will say God provided that. I do owe her on that aspect. I soon found myself depressed planning on dropping out of school. Until my best teacher Mr. Parson called me up to the desk and said “Cook what’s wrong? You’re a A student.” I laughed and said “You really want to know what’s wrong fine. My dad just kicked me and my family out, and frankly I don’t care what happens in school at the moment.” He said, “don’t worry about your grades just show up.” The next week I went up from a 50 average to an 88.” I thought if this worked in one course this might be my golden ticket to graduate. Boy I was right. My history teacher even offered me to move in with her. I did nothing and graduated my senior year was a breeze.

That’s not what I remember most about that year, nor is that why I want to go back so desperately. My family was just making peace after a long and dreadful family feud as well. Those are key points of that year. Besides graduating that year, I never forget the angel I would encounter that year. After school I would get off the bus and always see our new neighbors get off the bus and one of them would sit by the duck pond. She had blonde curly hair. She would read a book in the swing. Me being an avid anime fan of romance would not dare let this moment come to pass.

I started sitting on that swing waiting to get to know her better. Her brother seemed cool. He told me his sister Brianna thought I was cute. So, this put the cards in my favor even more. I never forget two prior I was cleaning out my grandmother’s house and found a solid gold ring with the letter B craved in it. The only odd thing about the ring is the letter. No one in my family name starts with B. So why would the ring say that. I kept the ring in my wallet for two years. I had few dates never nothing serious. To be honest that particular time in my life I did not care about finding a girl. I was angry my dad just kicked us out for no reason at all.

I started sitting in the swing listening to music on my phone, watching videos. I was just trying to look cool. I noticed she would come bring a book and we just have small talk at first. I don’t think I ever opened up so fast to someone. My days were dark, and depressing until I met her. She became the sun light in my cold damp, depressing life. I thought I had nothing to live for. Me and my sister was in the same class and she even acted ashamed of me as well as my cousin that went to school with me. My brother always tried to act happy I think mainly to help my mother be in good spirits. I always wanted to be like him. My brother was the star of everything he ever did while I was always in the shadow. He was good looking, had a great personality. I was the depressed shaky guy. I was a different kind of guy I was to myself and sucked at conversations.

None of that even mattered when I was with her. She was better then any kind of depression medicine I ever found only if it all was true. I told her everything I was going through personal and nonpersonal. She would open up to me too the only problem was most of the stuff she told me was all lies. I would find that out much later. I for once found someone I thought I truly loved, and to truth I never told her in those two to three months how I felt once. She had to notice all my family noticed. My sisters friend told me she was nothing but trouble. Hindsight is 20, 20 after all. I probably should have walked away. I got so fond of her that I did not care if she was trouble, I wanted to be a part of her life.

Everything was going good with us. Until one day my mom said her, and my dad made up and it was time to move back home with him. I would have been over filled with joy, but there was only one reason I did not want to go that was because I would pretty much be leaving her behind. I remember that Wednesday night I was talking to an old friend of mine on Facebook. My friend Matt told me tell her how you feel. I only had three days left before I moved.

I went to pick up my wallet and that gold ring came out. I noticed this was truly a sign from God. Not one person in my family had their name start with B and hers did. I said this could not be chance. I wrote the longest love letter I think I ever will write that night trying to putt all my emotions into one single page and that did not turn out ok. I did not want to blow this opportunity I tend to screw up everything in my life that was good. She was the angel that came and helped me wake up from this nightmare.

I just needed more time. I stayed up late those next three nights I knew my time was winding down. I finally said tomorrow is going to be the day. It was drizzling rain that day brother and cousins wanted me to go bowling with them and they was spending the night at my dad place. I told them I did not feel to great. Everyone was gone my sister went to a football game at school. I went to sit in the swing, and she came out right by me. I told her you know I will sure am going to miss you guys. She smiled and said, “same here.” The sun was about to set, and I said before I go in, I have something to give you.

I handed her the ring. I told her the story behind it. I said I’m not good at telling people how I feel but I can’t let this moment pass us. And she leaned in for a kiss I remember it like it was yesterday I leaned back in. I heard a horn go off as the rain started pouring. It was my sister and her friend. They came home early because the rain stated pouring. I really was disappointed a chance that I should of just did it. I just hugged her and said I really will miss you I don’t think she could tell the tears was on my face wasn’t rain. After that three years later since I heard from her. We parted ways.

I did not hear from her until 3 years later. My sister got married, brother joined the Navy. And I’m the loser still here. I get on Facebook one hot sunny day. See a message request. Every time I get a message request it usually is someone wanting to fight, our cursing me out for who knows what. The message I did not recognize it was from her mom’s page. The message was short reading "Hey this is you're old friend the park girl. Remember me Bree? How have you been just thought of you the other day and gave me a number to text or call her if I wanted to get in contact. I'm sorry about not messaging you off my Facebook I just don't have one. Look forward to hearing from you soon." I wanted to play it cool, so I didn't message her back till that night.

I texted the number asking was this Brianna. I told her who I was. I immediately got a call from the number. I felt those old butterflies come up I was like "shoot what the heck do I say?" I answered the phone and said hello! She was like hey I missed you so much. I felt like the ball was in my court. She for one reached out to me, two she called me. I said I missed you too. I constantly go back to that old summer in my mind. We was kids then I laughed. She asked would I like to meet her at the pond next week. I responded, "I would love too."

I met up with her the next week talked and walked around the pond. That hour felt like a lifetime. I used to have no problem talking to her, but it was like a stranger from the case. I forgot all we talk about. I remember being there a hour or two. I really didn't say nothing but compliment her and told her she looked lovely. I also told her I really missed her. I never forget she said well I got to go see ya around, I guess.

In that moment it was like everything stopped i felt all the memories come back, all the regrets come. I said wait I grabbed her by the wrist and did what I should of did 3 years prior. I forced a smooth kiss on her. She gave in. She looked at me with her eyes wide and was speechless. I said I'll see you later. She smile and said, "I hope so."

I remember thinking man I nailed that. I never thought in 100 years my loser self would do that. I texted her on the way home and I said I got to tell you something. I never stopped having feelings for you. I also stated that when I saw her again it was like watching the sunrise once again. I found joy in those beautiful blue eyes. I said you may think this is weird, but I love you.

I never forgot what Shigeru Miyamoto said, "We could either lose it all, or win it big." I said the same I got to put it all on the table. The thoughts of "you just blew it." Kept running through my brain. It took her like ten minutes to respond. And all the message said was "you want to know how I feel?" I said this is the part I get shot down I thought. I replied, "Of course with a smiley face trying to play cool." She sent back a picture of the ring I gave of on a chain. She said "I been wearing this as a necklace never have I gotten rid of it of forgotten about you. I feel the same way. I really was glad when you kissed me today. I been waiting for you too."

We continued texting on and off for a week so. Then I finally asked her would you like to see a movie "she replied she would love too." To be honest I can't name anything about that date. Besides she was wearing a yellow shirt which happens to be my favorite color. I couldn't tell you what movie we saw all I can say is I remember the day being perfect I wasn't watching the movie I was watching her thanking God for answering this prayer.

Her dad never liked me, neither did her mom. I never knew why, nor I cared. The only reason it did bother me was because they constantly said go find someone better. I would hear them constantly say it when we would talk on the phone. I honestly think if it was not for her mom and dad we would not have fought so much when back then. I really loved her I had a hard time showing it sometimes.

Even though her parents got in our way. I was still determined to make this work. She was the girl that helped me overcome depression after all. I really thought she was my soulmate. She was the angel I found in the nightmare I was living in. She was the prayer answered for God (or so I thought.) We was old enough where her parents should not have even mattered. I kept letting them get me even madder. It reminded me a lot of Titanic her parents had persuaded her to me to be someone else.

Six months we managed to work it out. We would lay under the night sky and watch the stars. We made it against all odds. Everyone said she was trouble came from a trouble family. I did not need all that drama in my life. Her parents constantly brainwashed her telling her how bad of a guy I was. One of the last moments we shared during that six-month period was I gave her a promised type engagement ring. I told her once I got out of school, and my own place I wanted her to become my wife. We could leave all this behind. She of course was said “I’ll be happy to be the mother of your kids. I would want nothing more then that.”

I thought everything was good. She was the first and only girl I saw more in then just sex. I did not even want from her I just wanted her. I always believed being in love is when you experience special moments. Like watching the sunset at the beach or seeing a really good movie for the first time. I believe when you are in love you wish they were there to experience these same moments. I also a 100 percent believe when you are around the person you experience special moment, but you start to realize it isn’t the moment that is special it is the person you are with that is. With me no longer really worrying about her parents I truly believed our peaceful days would never end.

That all changed when she started questioning me of seeing someone else out of no one where. She sked me “let me see your phone.” I threw it to her “I said check it.” Then I asked the same question she said, “one sec I got to see something.” She was clearly accusing me because she was guilty. I learned in life where there is smoke there is usually fire. This went on about a month. One day out of the blue I get a message from a big redneck boy on Facebook. Reading “Leave my girl alone.” I said, “I got a girlfriend you got the wrong guy pal.” Then he said, “Breanna is my girl.” I called her she denied it of course. I told her block the dude and we can continue this and overcome this.

Two days later she was back talking to him. I met her on my grandmother’s porch. I kissed her and the kissed tasted like the fruit of Eden. It was sweet at first then it became bitter. How could my angle the so-called soul mate cheat on me? She finally apologized for talking to another guy. I forgave her I said don’t do it again. Then she said I can’t do that he is a close friend I love him and you. I was shocked I said I never forget it. I replied back saying “The way I see it is, it’s me or him. And by the looks of it you picked him.” We promised to wait to marriage for sex, promised to get married. 5 years of trust got destroyed in one day. I told her this is goodbye if you change you mind message or call me.

I still don’t know why I was the bad guy back then her mom, and dad threatened me for the way I handled it. They don’t know what really went on. She told me a lot of lies to make her story worse than mine. She wanted two have a open relationship with me, I could not find any real logic. I still have family members saying why did you do something stupid like that. Once I got home my brother in law, dad, mom, and sister was around the table. They said, “you did the right thing she was full of drama.” I wore sunglasses so no one could see my eyes. I said “I agree a 100 percent thanks guys. They all was laughing, and I was laughing and crying like a baby at the same time. We were so long I never thought I would lose years of happiness by her cheating.

Chapter two Home bond

That was 5 years ago I recently got a in Huston Texas. It was December 15th I put vacation in for Christmas until the first of year. I was telling people at work my boss Mike to have blessed and Merry Christmas I would see them all next year. I was taking a train back home. It was weird because the was a snow forecast in South Carolina that year the week of Christmas. It was supposed to be a cold front coming down to the southern states the news said. I was watching the news laughing saying yeah right, the news is always wrong when it comes to weather around here. The only job you can be wrong all the time and still get paid. The train trip was 20 hours I could not wait to get home it feels like a lifetime I been away. I really missed my mom’s home cook food especially around Christmas. It would not be Christmas if I was not going to be home with the people I loved.

I had a girl I would talk to on and off, but we were just mainly friending the name was Tina. She was a city girl she was more of a party girl. She was not ready to settle down like I was anytime soon. I was trying to get into the ministry I finally gotten my degree in it. I have become saved, and truly born again. Christmas is the only true day a year all my family gets together. I could not wait to see how everyone was doing. Both my brother, and sister have kids of their own and I’m still looking for the right one if there is one. I thought I found her all those years ago but like my dreams and aspirations she slipped through my fingers.

I had a dream while I was on the train. The dream I only remember seeing a piece of paper saying this is going to be a Christmas you will never forget. I woke up, and that part I remember the rest of it was a total blur. For it to be in the south this was truly a cold winter. With only 6 days till Christmas. I could not wait to see all my love ones again. Even though with that being said I still felt alone. All my family was married and have kids here I am at 27 years of age and have none. I don’t really even have a steady relationship. I suffer with depression of being alone. I remember a quote by the late great Robbin Williams. “I always feared of ending up alone, but what is worse than that is being surrounded by people that make you feel alone.”

My whole live besides being around my family I always felt like the loser in my family the black sheep. My bother and sister have always been better in sports, and more successful in career paths then me. Here I am returning home like the prodigal son returning home kind of as a failure. I never really made it big. Not like my brother, and sister anyways. My anxiety has always gotten the best me of me in life. I could never fulfill my full potential. With that being I grown not to care what my family or others think of me. I found God that’s all I need. I still felt a sense of regret coming home with not a good paying job and being single.

The woman came up to me and said, “Sir we will be at your destination in about an hour anything I can get for you?” I said, “No thank you I just am anxious about going home is all.” She replied back “That’s normal but that should be the place you should want to return.” I was thinking she was right, but I feel like a class A failure. I was unhappy with my situation in life. I just told her “To have a good night and a merry Christmas.” I was found myself looking at the clock getting more, and more depressed as I was about to head home. I knew how they would have all this money, and I would be the one giving cheap gifts and all. It has always been funny to me that I’m the one they come to for money. I never would go to them. But anyways that’s life, I guess. I never really considered money an important part of life is all.

I heard the train coming to stretching stop I was happy to get to see my mom, and family I just felt kind of like a loser compared to the rest of my family is all. I guess I never really had the ambition they had even though I found myself to probably be the hardest worker in the family. That’s the reason I moved off to find work. I got a degree in theology I try to spread the word of God. I been trying to get a job in a church as assistance preacher, or a youth preacher I just want to spread the word of God. I really want to be a missionary. I always wanted to go overseas. I would love to spread the word of God overseas. Who am I fooling my anxiety would never let me do that I thought as I heard the train coming to a stop.

I got my suitcase and left was leaving the train telling the people aboard the train have a merry Christmas, and to be safe and God bless them. My mother was there waiting on me. My favorite person in the world the only person besides my brother that really never judged me. I could be myself around her. I never really was anxious to see her or my brother, or sister mainly just my father. He would constantly tell me what of waste of time and money I put in going to school to get a degree I don’t have job in the field yet. I could hear him now I thought. I hugged my mom “I told her I missed her, and it was great to see her.” She replied the same. I said “it feels good to be back in South Carolina. I told her I been trying to get a job in a church. Still struggling to get a better job then what I did I had.” My mom asked me “why don’t I move back home until I got a better job.” I told her “I would love too, but I felt trapped there, and my depression was high. I was just tired of being compared to everyone. I want to go far away where no one knows me, and I can feel free ya know.” She said, “She understand.” I was put up with all that hell as a kid I thought my dad cause me a lot of heart ache and pain as a kid. He made me a freak with all these panic issues. I love him just hate what he put us all through.

I reached in my wallet and gave my mom some money and told her “I know it isn’t much, but merry Christmas even though. My mom said, “Thanks but Christmas isn’t till five days away.” “I said I know it isn’t much, but I guess it’s the thought that counts.” I got off work December 15th and it was already the 19th. Took me that long to make plans, and to get down here I thought. We was driving home, and I was staring at the lights people put up around their house. Christmas in the South always was magical to me. I guess the reason it was more magical to me; is because the South actually celebrated the true meaning of Christmas. Even though I was dreading feeling like a loser when I came home, I can’t say I wasn’t excited to see all my family even my dad as hard as he is to get along with at times.

Bret Hart once said, “living in the past there’s no future in it.” I been running from my past since I got out of college. It was time to face it. No matter how far you ran, you can’t run from who you are. Me and my mom pulled up at our house, and she said my brother Orry, and sister Molly would be there in two days. My mom who I call mamz said “can you believe they are actually calling for snow on Christmas Eve.” I said, “South Carolina will never get snow on Christmas Eve trust me would be nice though.” I went in told my dad hey and asked him how he was doing. He said, “good and asked me how I been, and how was the trip ride home?” I said it was good I just was tire I said I think I’ll be turning in for the night I told my parents I loved them, and I would see them in the morning and God bless them.

I remember that was a long sleepless night I was excited to see everyone but was kind of depressed as well. I knew after this Christmas came and went; I would not see my family in a very long time especially my brother who was coming in from California. I knew this would be a fun Christmas was kind of worried how his wife would act she is not the easiest person to necessary get along with. Even though it was Christmas I would try my best to be a peace maker. It felt good leaving West Virginia and finally be back home again if I did say so myself. I just felt a sense of dread of everything going by to fast. I also felt bad because I had no nice gifts to give them. I used to give them money and nice gifts, back when I lived at home, I would give them nice gifts. Now I just did not have the money like I use to have. I am always taking end of the barrel. I thought to myself someone has got to do them might as well be me I suppose.

That sleepless night seemed like it was put in fast forward. I must have got an hour or so of sleep before I heard a lot noise coming from outside. I rushed up quickly to see my sister and her family outside, as well as my brother and his family. I immediately got up and run outside to see them. I said “hey ya’ll long time no see!” We caught up real fast and before I knew it seemed like I never left. I was caught up in the moment I then realized I did not have to have money, or even try to impress them. We was family why would if I’m not as successful who really cares. Later that day me and my brother went on a walk. I asked him “how is that wife of yours been treating you.” He said, “We get along here and there, and why do you ask?” I said “because me and you both look tired man. Everyone I know and love is passing on man, and once you, and Molly leave here. If something happens to mom and dad, I’ll be alone.”

I told him he was blessed to have a son, and don’t take life for granted. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that conversation. What my brother told me next, I’ll never forget. He said, “you know the real reason I married her, don’t you?” I replied, “I guess because she was the first person you really been with?” He said “not really just because I was afraid to end up alone like you are. There is more to it though. I was on the beach depressed, and I was depressed and all alone. I could not find happiness on land. So, I felt the waves calling me to me. I never told anyone this, but I was thinking, no I was trying to kill myself. I went to go far out at sea, as far as I could go to drowned. I don’t remember what happened next. All I know is I woke up on shore and Joanna was giving me CPR. She saved me that day man. She used to work at the beach at California as a lifeguard four prior to me meeting her. She don’t even remember me from back then. She saved my life, so I fell in love with her from that.

Once I got a job that building, she worked it all came back to me, and though I never told her what happened, or why I even am staying with her. If it wasn’t for her I would not be here.” I said with amazement “wow man you got it bad, but that would make a heck of a movie or a love story.” I said I had no idea she saved you. I just was in shock I knew he told me he almost drowned once he was stationed in California, I just never knew the true story behind it. I guess that is why he puta up with all that abuse. Once came back my mom had a big feast on the table for all of us. We all cut jokes and reminisced on the good times. I remember what my grandmother said I wish at that moment life would just stop and be put on pause. Everyone that mattered to me was in one room. Everything seemed great. I really wish this could last forever.

With only four days till Christmas approaching my brother and sister asked do ya’ll want to exchange gifts the part I looked least forward too. I felt like the little drummer boy they all had nice gifts, and I was the one with nothing really to give but 50 bucks each to them. I said “well I got ya’ll a card it isn’t much but it’s the thought that counts like I told mamz” They said “awe thanks you did not have to do that that we know you have been struggling lately.” I replied and laughed it off saying “no I’m fine I’m doing swell trust me.” This even made me feel more embarrassed I was burying myself in self-pity. Then my sister said “Here is your gift” I opened it, and it was new leather jacket. I really been wanting one, but I knew this thing was expensive. I said “thanks but I can’t take this. I hardly gave ya’ll nothing. Thanks, but I feel bad.” She kept saying “No it’s yours.” Till I took it feeling guilty. Then my brother said “Here this is your gift from us, (and it a card with 200 bucks in it.)” I said, “No way I can take this I feel awful.” He kept saying insisting. I felt really bad about it. They of course got our parents nice gifts as well. I felt like I kind of let them down.

I told them I made plans I promised my preacher I would go to church that night. Christmas would fall on a Sunday this year, and I did not know if I would make to the Sunday service. I asked if they wanted to come, but they said they was all tired, and it had been a long day. I really was happy to be finally attending church at the place I got saved again. They all was like family to me. I was looking forward to this. I got a quick shower put on some casual clothes. No one really dresses up for Bible study. I then told everyone I would be back in a few thanked them for the gifts, told them I loved them and got in my old car, and left. I my preacher and his wife some money and card to give them for Christmas they have both been very good to me after all it is the least, I could possibly do. When I arrived, I walked in and the same 10 people that is always there on Wednesday’s were there. Everyone was coming up to me hugging me, and shaking my hand telling me they missed me.

My preacher said, “It’s good to finally see again brother, how have you been?” I said, “I been good, but I’m a lot better now that I finally have come home especially being in the house of the Lord.” Pastor Mike said, “It sure is great having you here we have sure missed you, you’re always in our prayers.” Then it hit 8 o’clock and it was time to begin Bible study. The verses that night we went over was Ecclesiastes 3:1-22. Which reads “3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” Pastor Mike then said “what season are you living in tonight? Some of us need to cast away things Some of us are living in a season. Whatever season your life is in be like Paul and keep the faith. Don’t stray away from the Lord. We won when Jesus said it is finished,” He ended his sermon, or the study by saying “all of you know what special day Sunday is. Instead of looking for earthly gifts we should all be thankful of the gift God gave. He gave us the best gift of all his son dying for our sins so we could live forever with him in all his glory. This Christmas you may can give someone the best gift of all just by telling them the good news about Jesus Christ. You maybe the only Bible they ever will read. Give them a gift money can’t buy this Christmas.”

After the sermon I told Pastor Mike that sermon, or Bible study was one of the best ones I ever heard. It really struck that old fire in me. I been craving that was quenched after I could not find a job in the field of theology. I told him “thanks for that, that sermon alone was the best Christmas gift I have gotten all year I really needed that.” I told him and everyone at the church I love them, and I missed them and to have a merry Christmas incase I was not there Sunday. I also asked them to keep me in their prayers. It was about ten o’clock when I got home. Once I got home everyone asked how church was? I said, “It was good felt great to finally be back in the house of God felt like I was home and alive again.” My family was watching the grinch the live action one with Jim Carry in it. Asked me if I wanted to watch it I just said, “no I’m good I actually got no sleep last night at all, a lot of stuff was running through my head too much excitement I guess ya know?”

I went in my room, but I sure did not sleep that night. I kept remembering what Pastor Mike said about Christmas this year. I believe truly we are living in the end of times. More people need to know about God. My brother is saved, but my sister says her, and her family isn’t. I then knew what I would do before Christmas I would go to Walmart and get them a Bible each. May not be the most expensive thing. But that is a gift that truly would come from my heart. I know too many people I went to school who have passed away at very young ages. I agree with pastor Mike none of use are promised tomorrow. I thought that would be the perfect gift whether they like it, or not is up to them I planted the seed after all.

It was four days till Christmas the next day my brother wanted to go get southern barbecue since they don’t have it in California, I told him “they are not open on Thursdays he would have to wait till Friday. I said I don’t know why you want some dad is barbecuing a hog anyways like he always does on Christmas.” He said, “I just have not had it in a year going on 2 so I miss it you know what I mean?” He said we take good food for granted when we have it all the time.” I laughed and was like I guess you got a point. I went outside and could sure tell it was winter it was freezing. Usually this part of the state doesn’t get this cold in the afternoon. My mom all called us to come in. She was saying “look the weather forecast is calling for snow on Christmas Eve into Christmas night” We was all “like no way, I’ll believe it when I see it.” I was not getting my hopes up on that. They called for snow hundreds of times in the past, and only the up state would get it. After that my dad asked me, my brother Orry, and brother in law Kody would we mind cutting some fire. I really did not mind if they would be willing to help that is.

My brother went and got a chainsaw there was a couple old trees that fell on the property behind the house in the woods. We needed to the wood to put under the grill to cook the hog. We have been doing this every sense I was a little kid. I remember I would look forward to this all year long. We would invite all our friends, and family over. We would stay out all night and cook the hog. Those were the days. Now they feel like forever ago. Pretty much all the family is back in a feud, and everyone has moved away. I think it is sad how everything has turned out. Everyone in our family use to be so close, now they are so far away I never hear from any of them. Me and my brother, and brother law talked about that as we was filling this old trailer up with wood. We hooked the trailer to the tracker. Once we would fill up with wood, we would park it by the pit we would cook the hog in in.

We built a little fire that night, and just talked about the “good ole days.” When we was in school playing football. We was on the worst team in the whole division just laughing about the good ole days. It sure was cold that night with only 3 days after that night till Christmas I felt a little dread because I knew once Christmas was over my sister, and her family would continue with their normal lives and I would be all alone again. The same with my brother and his family as well. After everyone went inside, I kept wishing this time would not end. I was really enjoying myself. I stayed outside that night, and fell asleep watching the fire getting dimer, and dimer as the logs burned that night. I kept dozing off until my brother came out and yelled “are you coming in man?” I said, “yeah one sec just enjoying the weather.” I wish that night would not have ended I was really enjoying myself stress free.

I came inside that night, and everyone was getting ready for bed. I went in I felt empty that knowing in three it would be a bright Christmas day. Kids around the Earth would be happy to play with the gifts they have received. My brother, and sister would enjoy seeing their kids open gifts. While I would be alone wishing I had a family on my own. Christmas Eve is my best day of year, but this year even though I was at home the closer Christmas came around the more empty I love my family everyone was there, but to me it was plain to see the only thing missing was me. I wanted a family so bad I felt all alone I would see them taking care of their kids, and families, but I was just myself. That was a long sleepless night I know I did not give them the gifts they gave me. I’m the broke one in the family the black sheep if you will. It was past 12 only three days till Christmas.

The next morning my mom, brother, sister, and the rest of the families wanted to see the Christmas lights down in North Charleston this brought back memories to me because the last time we was there we went to go see Monday night Raw. Later that afternoon we was getting ready to go. As we as getting to leave I stepped outside, and I heard my nephew Karl “say I might get to see my first snow this year,” Everyone looked a little mad at me because I said “don’t get your hopes up kid.” I remember my first snow a night about like to tonight me, Orry, Molly, Lindsey, and your cousin Rich stayed up all night. I still remember what Rich said the same thing I said. “It’s not going to snow Ryan let’s go to bed.” That was flash back in time.

We arrived there at night, and it was a lot like, and I saw a blast from the past I saw my old buddy Remy last time I was there he was there as well. I said, “I thought you was upstate this time of year.” Remy responded back “It sure has been a long time, last time I was here I was with ya’ll have all of you guys been. Man, where has all time gone?” “I said man I see you on Facebook you’re ranking the money man you are doing a lot better in the business market then I am.” We talked about 5 to 10 mins. I wished him, and his family a merry Christmas, and I him God bless him. After that I watched the lights with my family my nephews was memorized by the cartoon character design lights. I enjoyed the Dragon Ball Z ones, and Nintendo lights they set up. We stayed there till about 10 or so. We would not get home until midnight. We went go get fast food, and after that we went home. Time, we went home I went to bed it was about 12:30 give or take.

The next morning was the eve, before Christmas Eve Bill Walsh was still saying “Chances of snow tomorrow in the Colleton county region. It was up to a 80 percent chance at 8 o’clock. I was really starting to think we may actually have a white Christmas for once. It definitely was cold enough the temperate was 35 degrees. I still was thinking don’t get your hopes up. Nothing like this ever happens around here. My dad was preparing the pit/ grill to cook the hog. My and my brother, and brother in law helped him get things set up. He always cooked the hog on Christmas Eve. We would get the propane tank to hook up to the grill to give it gas to light it. And we would fill the barrel with a cage thing under it with wood. The reason why the cage thing was under the barrel was to collect the fallen coals from the fire. We would put the coals under the pit to cook the hog. It was a tradition passed down from four generations of ours. I always enjoyed doing this. The only reason I was down about it now is all our family was in a feud, and I would not get to see them. I never did anymore. I hardly would hear from them on the phone. All this setting up with the wood, and all took us about one hour and 30 minutes.

Once we finally finished, we watched the movie the Santa Clause. I told my nephews I use to work at Walmart in the toy department and I would get contacts to Santa so if they wanted, they could make a list, and I could have it personally delivered to him. They are all wrote off their Christmas list to Santa Claus. I put them in my car and said I got it taken care of. My nephew Kaiden who is the oldest wanted a train set from Thomas he is obsessed with that. Karl my other nephew wanted a bunch of junk a cell phone, and he is only 5 years old. My youngest nephew who is my bothers son Chance just wanted a tablet to play games on. I told them “I would deliver it personally.”

The dark was approaching fast. We was playing cards in the living room on the table. Just having fun. We do this almost every time we all get together. I enjoy this it makes me relaxed. This is one of my best things we do. Besides beating on who will win at a video, something like that. But we played cards an hour or so. My sister went outside to smoke. I followed her “I said I sure wish time would pause like Nana use to say back when things were good.” She responded, “Yeah I love spending time with ya’ll too but I’m ready for the holidays to be over.” I said “not every other day of the year I feel alone, and empty inside. Plus, I don’t have a family to enjoy like you guys do I guess.” She then said, “You don’t need someone to make you happy.” I said back just “yeah” (I was thinking easy for her to say. She has kids, and husband. She has a family of her own. While I’m all alone. Loneliness is becoming my best friend now adays I thought. It’s easy to say when you’re the only one that is alone)

After we came back in, I told everyone I was going to lay down. I was personally a little down in dumps. My brother Orry was like “Don’t go to bed man. We paly some video games. “I said I’m good, but thanks. Have a good night, and God bless ya’ll I’ll be praying for you guys.” I was lying in bed must have been 2 hours before I went to sleep that night. Wishing I could have a family. I started thinking I should have married my ex, and I might have had one. I said well I have never really fallen for anyone again. I guess I let her get away. I still regretted that the more I thought about the more I found myself stuck in the past. I even dream that night of everyone laughing, and having a good time on Christmas, and I was sitting at the table all alone. That was a complete nightmare.

Chapter Three. Same Auld Lang Syne

It was finally my best day of the year Christmas eve when I woke up everyone seemed happy. All my family was outside getting the fire, and everything ready for the barbeque we always had on Christmas eve. We would spend all Christmas eve cooking, and we would have a big feast on Christmas day. This was always fun to me. I loved Christmas eve sitting by the fire all day spending time with my family. I would remember when we was all younger our cousin would come over. We would always play football and have a couple wrestling matches. We always did stuff like that on the holidays. Sadly, those days are gone. All of our cousins have moved off. The ones that are still around are in a feud with my father so none of that ever happens anymore. That is one reason that Christmas makes me sad. I tend to think of the old days back when thing were good.

Now all the people that would show up is my parents, my brother’s family, and my sisters’ family. I really miss the old 90’s Christmas’s back when everyone was around, and everyone I loved was still alive. Nothing seems the same anymore. Sure, it is great to spend time with my brother, sister, and parents. But back in the day all my family was there. I feel very alone now seeing how out of everyone I’m the only one that is still not married and is all alone. The only close family member I really have is my mom if she passes, I think I will be lost. She is the closest person in my life to me.

All that being said my brother was starting the fire where the coals would start falling. I was hearing my mom telling my nephews it was supposed to snow tonight, and what did they want from Christmas; because Santa would be arriving soon. I thought to myself what I would give to go back to get the magic of Christmas back. As a child Christmas was magical staying up all night to see Santa now for me it just is a day to watch people with families have fun. I envy that I suppose. The fire was starting, and everyone was getting hungry it, so my dad put hotdogs on the grill for us to eat. It was starting to get really cold as the day went by.

I went inside looked in the icebox for some eggnog. I noticed we was out. I told my mom “I would be going to the store to get some.” She said, “hurry back we are supposed to get bad weather.” I thought yeah right. We are not getting snow this year. It is approaching 6 o’clock, and nothing is happening except the temperature is starting to drop fast. I also made this excuse to get my brother, and sister a Bible for Christmas this was on my to do list after all. I saw this as a perfect excuse to use to go to the store myself and get them one. I left my house and arrived at Walmart around 7 time I stepped out my car I looked up and its staring to snow. I said this is truly a miracle from God. I began to think of that weird dream I had on the train this would be a Christmas to remember. My phone starts going off from all my family. Texts saying “Get home you should not be on the road in this weather. I was like yeah right. I made it this far I might as well get what I came for.

I went inside bought the Bibles rushed back outside. Then I noticed I did not get any eggnog. My mother wanted some too. I ran back in to get some. I was in the milk isles passing through the store to get some. As I passed by one of the isles, I saw a girl that looked a lot like my ex from years ago. I immediately thought to myself there is no way first the snow falling and now this. I began to walk away. But then I remembered how much I actually missed her. I approached her from the back. Saying “excuse miss” touching her on the back. She turned around like she was scared. I did not mean to startle her. She said “Yes?” I responded by pointing to my face “saying it’s me Ryan long time no see Brianna.” I never forget how her face looked when I told her who I was. Her eye opened wide. They looked like she saw a ghost.

She immediately went to hug me. Because I held my arms open like it was good to see her. Before she could even hug me, she drop her purse, and everything came out of it. We was in the middle of the isle. It reminded me of way back we first started dating. The time we was in Wendy’s and the same thing happened. She started to curse then I started laughing by the look on her face. She started laughing crying at the same time. I asked her what all she was getting, and she said, “I’m done in here you want to walk me out the store.” I said, “sure all I came to get was this eggnog.” We walked up to the checkout stand. Having small talk as the groceries was totaled up and bagged. I stood there embarrassed not knowing what to say as the conversation was slowly dragging. I was especially uneasy because we had a bad break up.

We walked outside I said “man it sure is cold. This kind of reminds me of the good ole days. This is the first time I ever experienced snow with you.” She laughed and said “Yeah it is the first. It’s the first time I ever known it to snow on Christmas eve here.” I replied back “It was good seeing you I guess I should go home now. Have merry Christmas, and God bless you!” She grabbed my coat tail and said “wait a sec it is Christmas eve why don’t go to a bar a have a quick toast and then go. Ya know catch up on old times?” I sure I really hated drinking, but I did want to spend time with her. I signed and said, “why not” “She said she knew a good place to get drinks from that was down road.” I knew the place she was talking about I sang karaoke there when I was younger with my friend Matt. I told her “I would follow her in my car.” She responded back with a laugh saying “Oh don’t be silly it’s been forever why don’t you just tag along in my car. For old time sake.” I was nervous at this point, I said “sure, why not?” I got in her car with as we road up the road to the bar, and when we got there the sign was not lite up or nothing. The bar was closed. I did not say what I was thinking, but I was sure happy the bar was closed I never been much of a drinker. She then looked at me and said “I got an idea let’s stop by the old liquor store on this road and get a six pack and have a toast there. What do you say?” I thought to myself we came this far, and I still had feelings for her, so I responded “Why not? Let’s do it!” I pulled out my phone and sent my brother a text message saying “I ran into a old friend I will be home in a few hours don’t worry I’m fine. I drove in snow before when I worked in Paris Island, and not to worry about me.”

As she was driving to the liquor store that was let’s say 15 or so minuets down the road. I could not keep my eyes off her I was asking myself “Is this a dream? First it was snowing on Christmas Eve, then I bump back into my true love” I cleared my throat, and I told her “that the years have truly been a friend to her, and that she did not look no different then back then. I also told her that I still loved her beautiful eyes. They were still ocean blue.” Even though I said that I was not sure if I saw any gratitude in those eyes after all these years. She said “awe thanks and I haven’t changed either. I was always easy to convince.” I responded back by saying “Only to certain people, and you are one of them always have been since we met all those years ago, I guess.” She told me that “She heard that I moved out that town, and that I must be doing well.” I gave her a simple response I said, “The new town is heavenly, but being homesick is Hell.” I also told her that I was doing as well as she thought I told her “I’m struggling with a degree to just move up the ladder ya know?” She then said, “We’ll here thank God they are open wait here I’ll go in and get them okay?” I was waiting in her watching the snow slowly fall down. I could not stop thinking this was the best Christmas gift I ever gotten. I waited on her nervously for what seemed like a year. She came out running trying not to get covered in the snow. She said, “Let’s head back to the Walmart parking lot to have a toast” I said, “yeah sounds good.” I wanted to ask her did she ever truly move on from me. I knew deep down that I haven’t. I just could not mustard up the courage to do so for some reason. The song by Phil Collins was playing in my head. (In the air tonight) It has felt like I been waiting for this moment to finally happen for a very long time.

It was a cold silence for a little while when we was heading back to Walmart. Then we passed by the old park I shouted “Man that is where we first met. I remember it like it was yesterday. You had on the yellow tank top the day we got kicked out of our place.” She started laughing “She said yeah back then things were good. I miss those old days it’s funny how people move on with their lives. It seems like yesterday but that was over 10 years ago now.” I told her “Yeah I thought those peaceful days would never end, and that I really did miss her. Even as a friend.” We then pulled back in the Walmart parking lot she said “here handed me a cheap beer and said here’s a toast to living in the moment a toast to now” I said, “I’ll drink to that” I kept noticing the weeding ring on finger. She caught me glimpsing at it. She said “she married her an architect. She was married for going on 2 years now. She said he was good to her. He made her feel safe.” She stated the comment he kept her “warm and safe and dry” She kept going on about how he was PE coach, but later recently got a good paying job as an architect. I noticed, and I believe she would have liked to say she loved the man, but she did not want to lie. I thought if she really did love the guy what the heck are, we doing out her tonight? She then asked me about my love life. I just said, “I never really found anyone just talking to people here and there that’s about it.” As I was drinking that cheap nasty beer, I was honestly trying to get rid of this empty void in me after all these years. But I did not know how. I honestly believe we both was trying to get rid of the emptiness inside of us that night. We talked about an hour, or so about the old times, and how her parents really hated me. She finally admitted they were wrong about me. I did ask her “why did things have to turn out like this ya know?” She said, “It wasn’t God’s plan I guess.” I said, “For the first time in a long time I agree with you on that.”

We was then down to the last two beers. She said “Let’s make a toast to time. The time we wasted and been apart. The good memories we had. The good and bad what do you say? I said “I toast to that. And this right here is a great memory.” I then said, “here’s a toast to Christmas, and bringing in the best new year of all another auld Lang Syne.” She said, “Amen to that let’s stop living in the past and start living in the moment and looking towards the future.” We talked about an hour, or so after that just catching up on things. Talking about the good time. After a while the beer was empty, and we both was slowly running out of things to say. I said well I guess I’ll see you around, and it was nice seeing you after all this time.” She said same to you” We wished each other a merry Christmas. I went to get out and she gave me a kiss as I got out her car. I stood there in the snow watching her drive away out of my life again. I remember the feeling I felt like I was back in school again. I felt that old familiar pain of rejection. As I stood there. I’ll never forget it till the day I die I went to get in my car to make my way back home and the snow turned into to rain.

It started raining just like her in my life it was to good to be true. I drove home shedding some tears on the way home. I arrive home about 35 minuets later. It was about 10:30 when I got home. My whole family rushes outside shouting at me saying “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE WERE WORRIED SICK! I said with tears in my eyes “reliving the past I guess.” I handed them the Bibles I bought them and said, “merry Christmas.” They then was like “What’s wrong with you it’s almost Christmas?” I said, “nothing just bumped into an old friend from high school one of the best ones I ever had.” My family then apologized and just was saying they was concerned cause of the weather, and all. I apologized and explained that it was careless, and I was sorry to. The I could smell the pork cooking in the back yard. My brother Orry said “We did all the work while you was gone. Like always we cut the meat and all.” It was cooking since that morning. We would eat it on Christmas day. I told my brother “Sorry just something important came up was all. Plus, I got ya’ll a last-minute Christmas gift right.” Orry responded by saying “thanks best gift I got all year.” That night we watched a Christmas Carole. A part of the movie that caught my attention. Was when Scrooge was with the spirit of Christmas past. He saw himself with his lover and he said to the spirit when she left him “I almost went after her.” I almost did the same exact thing that night myself is why it stuck with me, I guess.

After the movie went off all my nephews were excited about Santa coming to visit them. I knew after tomorrow my sister and her family would be heading back to their house and come the first my brother would be heading back to California as well. That empty lonely void in me began to grow even more. My sister Molly told my nephews “that it was bedtime. If they did not get some sleep then Santa would not come visit them.” They rushed to bed I told them good night and that I loved them, and God bless them. They put out cookies and milk for Santa Clause to eat and drink on his way there. I thought to myself I sure do miss when I was a kid back when things were good. I see enjoyment out of them, and that brings me joy. I just wish I had a family, and kids of my own to have Christmas with I thought.

Chapter Four So this Christmas

That night I did not get an ounce of sleep. I was thinking about everything should I reach out to Brianna again on social media. Would that really be right she is married after all? I did not really know what to do. My mom came and sat with me for a while we talked. She asked me “if I was okay, and did something happen that night?” I said “yeah I just ran into someone nothing really to alarm you over. I’m just dreading this because it is going by too fast. After tomorrow, and January first I will be alone again. I’m just tired of having no one ya know.” She said “She understood “and came and said a prayer with me something we use to do every night. I really do miss that more than any other thing. I told mamz “good night, and that I loved and missed the prayers. I said merry Christmas and God bless my mamz.” She smiled and said the “merry Christmas.” That night I can’t say I remember much about it besides laying down knowing tomorrow morning early kids will be opening gifts around the world. People would be spending time with their families. As I laid their that cold Christmas night, I wondered how many people truly give thanks to God, and remember the true meaning of Christmas at all?

That night I must gotten an hour or so asleep. I said a prayer to myself thanking God for giving use his son. I thanked Jesus for willingly coming to Earth to save us. I awoke with hearing the noise sounding like running on the floors. My nephews was all awake about 5:30 in the morning. My head was killing me because the lack of sleep. Even with a headache I was still happy to see another Christmas with all my love ones. I was also excited about the feast we would be having that day. I was got up out of bed as I saw my brother videoing the kids opening up their presents. I told my sister everyone Merry Christmas. I hugged them and kissed my brother, sister, and parents. I hugged my nephews and I remember quoting a quote by the late great Bing Crosby I said, “sure it’s Christmas once more.” All my nephews were very excited my nephew Kaiden got Thomas the train sets, and a lot of other trains. He is obsessed with that. The look and smile on that rascal face made my Christmas worth wild. My sister Molly’s other son Karlson got some video games, remote control cars and a lot of other stuff. Then my brother Orry son Chance gotten a tablet, and a lot of toys. All my nephews were running around excited about what “Santa” had brought them.

I asked my sister was they going to stay another night, and she said “we would probably leave first thing in the morning because she had to be back at the hospital on Wednesday” I said “I dread going back to work, and back out there period to be honest.” I was thinking (man no one stays in one place anymore.) I thought everything has changed here. Then my brother cut in and said “I feel you man! I wanna move back here myself I hate California. It is to liberal for me out there. I hate there. I only have one friend there. He looked up and said I wish we could of all stayed here forever like this.” I thought (I know exactly what you mean, but at least you have your son, and family. I got no one in Texas, but a job that pays few to nothing a cheap apartment.) I just kept that to myself. I looked at my phone and received messages from people I worked with saying “Merry Christmas dude” I replied back saying the same, and “I would see them all soon.” I liked the people I worked with they was like family to me. That was the only good thing in Texas. I really did not have much in common with the girl I was seeing over there. Honestly before this trip back home I was thinking of ending it with her. All we did was fuss about stupid stuff.

It was about 8 oclock I asked did anyone wanna go to church of course they all objected. Giving me reasons like “We have all our family down here, and it would take too long for them to get ready ect…” I said, “okay that’s ya’ll choice ya’ll are missing out.” My dad came up to me and urged me to stay home saying, “the roads are icy, and you all are never home anymore please stay.” I said, “I won’t be gone, but two hours church started at 10 and it was getting late.” My mom had on Jimmy Swaggart preaching she always listened to him. If it would not been for everyone being at home and having to heat up and finish the cooking, she would of went with me I knew she would of. I got my clothes out and began to fill the tub up with water. The bathroom was freezing I put a little cheap space heater in there to warm up the bathroom. It takes 30 minuets to get from my house to church at it was about 8:30 so I had to hurry. I was not going to be late for the Christmas service.

After I got washed and dressed it was about 9:20ish. I told everyone I would be back home soon. I loved them and hope they have the merriest Christmas of them all. My mom told me “to drive safe and slow on the roads because they icy.” I said, “don’t worry I love ya’ll and I’ll be back soon.” I arrived at church, and I was surprised hardly no one was there on Christmas. Pastor Mike came up to me before I went inside and greeted me by saying “Merry Christmas brother we won’t have a big attendance today because most of the members are out of town traveling for the Holidays.” I replied by saying “that makes sense and Merry Christmas to you I thank God I got here safe and on time.” I then went in the church and sat in the spot I always sat in the third pew from the back. A song by Elvis Presley came to my mind (if every day was like Christmas) I said to myself I wish every day was like this. People started coming slowly hugging my neck telling me “Merry Christmas and it was good to see me” I told them all the same. I said, “it’s good to be here in the house of the Lord on Christmas.” The we all prayed, and pastor Mike said open your hymn books and we did to the page of the (The first Noel) , after that Paster Mike preached from Luke the story of the birth of Christ. I remember something he said. Pastor Mike said "I believe if you had a telescope and looked in the star that night you would of saw the Heavens opened with angels rejoicing from the birth of Christ the Messiah." The church sermon ended with silent night. As the last verse was being sung he (Pastor Mike) said if any of you need Jesus this morning. Don't be like the hotel's and reject Jesus be like the stable owner and let him. Let him in your heart this morning. After that church was dismissed I knew that would be the last time I would be in that church at Bereau Christian Advent a long time.

The first was approaching me and my family would be parting ways. My brother would be leaving on a train. The first of the month our family would be split up again. I dreaded for it to come. The before New years we bought fire works. Still that Christmas Eve left an emptiness in my soul. I missed that night and I dreamed of it. I longed for the old days. They were out of sight. I noticed that sometimes living in the presence we can find ourselves falling deeper, and deeper into the past. I just kept reminding myself of the quote by Bret the Hitman Heart "Living in the past there's no future in it."

Chapter Five A Moment of Youth

The next days till New years eve flew by I called my boss at work called me I told him I would be back my birthday the 17th of January. If that was ok I originally put in till the first like my brother. I just wanted to extend it. I wanted to get a long look at at that place I called home because who knows I may never get to see it like I remember it now again. Finally new years eve was here. Me and my brother Orry went to a local firework shop a few days prior. The shop was called Hobo Joe's. The shop has been there for years and was pretty ruined down. We didn't care it was like a family tradition we always went there to get fireworks. We love going there. I hated to think this was the night and tomorrow would be the last day I would see my brother in God knows how long. He was going back tomorrow night. Which was basically the second, but still I dreaded the feeling of losing my family again. I would feel all alone again. I said to myself that it was life. My sister would Molly and her family would be coming to eat and watch the fireworks. Before they got there and before it was night which was fastly approaching. I went to the local gas station to pick up hotdogs buns. I got them and drove home which is only like five minutes down the road. I passed by our old house where we use to live. I had a flash back of me and my family when all of us was still together before the family feud having the times of our lives. We was living for the day not worrying about tomorrow.

I saw my cousin Rich playing king of the hill. I remember riding that old red four wheeler we had back when things were good. I wish I could of went back to those days. But sadly those days are gone I thought. Then I got out the jeep gave my mom the hotdogs buns. My sister Molly and her family arrived. We built a fire out side because it was getting dark and we was about to shoot fire works. Nightfall finally came and we started lighting fireworks. I really did miss when we all did this together it was a blast from the past. I use to spend every new year shooting fireworks with all my friends and family without a care in the world. I was watching them light up the night sky like a five and ten year old me would gaze at the night sky. I still was happy because my brother Orry was there, my sister Mollybwas there, my parents was there, and I was there. I believe that night we all was looking, and for a moment living in our youthful days just for a moment.

The next day my brother would be leaving I cried a little hated to see him go. I told him to stay and let's move back down here. Orry said with a smile "I'll never leave California brother." Me and my mom, dad, sister (and her family) saw my brother off at the train station. I told my brother bye and I loved him and would miss him and his family. He said a quote from John Q "it's not goodbye it's I'll see you later." With that he was gone out of my life again. My sister and her family would be heading back to Charleston. I was the only one without a family of my own. I was walking and the train sign came down. As it came down I past the same girl I fell in love with. The same same girl I met on Christmas eve. And as I turned real quick the train came. I stayed there shocked but when the train left she was gone.

[panda-noosh]

Hc’s of the paladins (and Allura + Coran if you got time) reactions to touring each of their home countries back on Earth?

Thanks for the request! I hope you enjoy it! x

Shiro:

He would 100% get emotional, but he’d try and hide it asbest as he could.

He never really spoke to the other Paladins about his homecountry, so he doesn’t like the idea of showing them just how much he missedit. He doesn’t want them thinking that it means so much to him.

Plus, he has to keep up this macho persona he has going on,doesn’t he?

But it really does affect him a little bit. Seeing all ofthe houses he grew up around, feeling the air, seeing the people he was oncefriends with who don’t even remember who he is any more because he looks sodifferent.

There’s this feeling of pure innocence to the place thatreally gets to him, tugs at his heart strings beyond anything he feels like hecan control.

As the other Paladins walk in front of him, little skips intheir steps as if they’re happy tourists on holiday, Shiro lags behind and justkind of intakes the scenes beforehim.

The old corner shop where he used to buy chocolate forhimself and eat it for dinner whenever his father wasn’t home to cook.

The old man at the counter looks him dead in the eye. Shirohopes he recognises him. He doesn’t.

Shiro waves at the boy he used to be best friends with. Hehas kids now, by the looks of things. The man waves back, but he looks confusedand doesn’t stop for conversation.

Shiro feels like a stranger, but it’s a nice kind offeeling. Like a fresh start, because he most certainly doesn’t have the bestmemories of this place. Not with the way he grew up.

Keith:

Keith doesn’t want to be there, but the other Paladins areinsisting.

He told them time and time again that his home town isnothing special. In reality, he just reallydidn’t want them to see the state of life he lived in as he grew up.

His dad was very rarely home, meaning Keith lived in what isdescribed as a ‘temporary home’ almost. The house he lived in was never meantto be lived in for more than a few weeks at a time before the people moved on.

But Keith lived there for most of his childhood, and he hadgotten used to the run-down shack he called home.

But he doesn’t want the other Paladins to see that. He doesn’twant to expose himself, his childhood.

They all go anyway, and the other Paladins don’t seem tomind the dark alleyways and the dampness and the run-down buildings they passwith the smashed in windows.

Keith lags behind them all, slightly dishevelled, trying notto look at the places he remembers so clearly.

There’s the place he got into his first real fight with somebody older than him. Keith had gotten hisfinger broken that day, and he had bandaged it up himself with toilet paper andPVA glue.

There’s the place where he read his acceptance letter to theGarrison. The place where he had broken down in tears of relief because he wasfinally getting free of this place.

There’s the bus stop he waited at all them years ago,awaiting the shuttle to take him to the station where he would be left off atthe Garrison for good.

Keith tries not to get emotional as he walks through thestreets, remembering every little detail that he doesn’t want to remember, buthe can’t help it.

Lance:

He’s the most excited, bubbly boy you have ever seen.

Lance never strays too far from home, I don’t feel like. Hegoes back to his home town and his home country whenever he can to see his family,so it’s no shock that he’s immensely excited to show the other Paladins theplace he grew up.

He’s bouncing down the street, sticking his arm out andpointing at every little thing he can see.

“And that’s where I had my third birthday party! My mumtells me I threw the cake on the floor, but I don’t remember that so it didn’thappen.”

“That’s where I had my first kiss. Great.”

I can also see him taking his siblings out to tour with him,even with the other Paladins present. Whenever he’s home, he really just wantsto be with his family, so he doesn’t hesitate to introduce them to the Paladinsas soon as he can.

He turns into a genuine tour guide, even though theneighbourhood he lived in had undergone some renovations since he left.

He still pretends like he knows what he’s talking about,even though he’s getting every single detail wrong.

Hunk:

I can see him getting a little bit flustered??

If you’ve read some of my other domestic headcanons, you maybe aware that I truly believe Hunk was raised by his grandmother, so he goes tothe place where his grandmother raised him.

This alone is enough to get him worked up, slightlyembarrassed, even.

Because whilst the other Paladins lived in these grandestates, or these tough, run down estates that show a rough side to them, Hunkis leading the other Paladins through an elderly neighbourhood that is litteredwith care homes and fluffy-looking cottages.

Of course, I don’t think he truly cares all that much. He’shappy to be home, even if the reminder of his life here is a bit of a difficultone to swallow, since he knows full well his home sickness will return ten-foldwhenever he leaves.

But he’s glad to be back, and he eases into it slowly.

“Mildred used to live in that little house down there. Iloved her cats.”

He’s most likely the type to get very, very excited whenever he sees somebody he recognises. He’ll sit inthe middle of the street, bouncing on his heels and waving to whoever it is hesees.

But then he gets really sad if they don’t recognise himback, and it breaks his heart but you know what?? Their loss.

Pidge:

She’s honestly just hoping and praying she doesn’t run intosomebody who she recognises.

Pidge knows shewas a little shit growing up – constantly hollering after her brother andmaking a scene, trying to make her little self known amongst the neighbourhoodpeople.

She’s grown out of that by now, becoming more sheltered andaware of what is socially acceptable and what is not.

So whenever she’s walking through her home town, she dreadsthe idea of seeing somebody who knows her as that loud girl who studied a lot.

She doesn’t even care that she’s walking through her hometown, her home country, being at home. She’sdarting around every corner like a god damn spy master, trying to make surenobody she knows will round the corner and embarrass her in front of thePaladins.

On the off-chance that she actually does come across somebody who recognises her {even after shemorphed into Matt Jr for the Garrison}, she puts on this massive smile and triesto cover the large group behind her with her body.

Lance probably steps forward, all excited to meet somebodywho knew Pidge before the Garrison, but Pidge is having none of it.

She’d probably end up shoving the group away, yelling overher shoulder about how nice it was to see them again.

As she’s sprinting away from the scene with no excuse as towhy.

Allura:

Assuming that Allura was, in fact, born on earth, this is howI think she would react to being back.

She’d love it.

Hands down, she would love it.

She doesn’t get to go back to earth all that often, sinceshe literally runs the castle ship and it would be nothing without herpresence.

So whenever she finally gets the chance to go back, shetakes that chance with open arms.

She’s like Lance in the fact that she’s bounding through thestreets at full speed, yelling and just recognising everything.

She gets all giddy whenever she sees something that wasn’tthere before.

“Oh my God, they got a new post box here! I bet Heather was ecstatic about that!”

She’d also be really interested in the food she missed outon??

Like, she’ll gladly spend half of her trip trapped inside ofa restaurant just mauling the foodthat space does not offer her, because she misses it so much.

Coran:

Probably forgot that he even lived on earth to be honest.

The Paladins would organise it as a surprise; take Coran tohis home country, tour with him a little bit, give him nostalgic vibes.

But then they get there and they’re all watching Coran likehawks, waiting to see his reaction, and he’s genuinely just looking at the mapwith such a puzzled expression on his face.

Probably holding it upside down, as well.

And they’re all like ??? He’s meant to be getting memories???Why isn’t he crying tears of joy??

He turns to them all like, “This map is really confusing. Ithink we should go home so we don’t get lost,” and then he’ll just startwalking back to the car.

Like this guy genuinely doesn’t even know where he is.

Classic Coran.

[carebear102279]

begin again

Sylvie was with ramon in the back of the ambo. Her clothes where covered in blood. Gabby was weaving in and out of traffic, trying to get to med. All sylvie could do was try to keep ramon stabilized. Sylvie "Ramon, you need to keep your eyes open. Gabby and antonio need you to fight." She continued to apply pressure to his stab wound. Trying to keep him alive. He coded in the ambulance. Sylvie started chest compressions. The ambulance rolled up to med. The doctors where waiting for them. Since it was a family member, everyone wanted to help. As they were wheeling ramon in, sylvie was kneeling on the stretcher still doing compressions. Sylvie "Ramon coded 2 minutes ago. Stab wounds. Tried to control the bleeding." Sylvie had tears in her eyes. Dr halstead " ok sylvie we got it from here." He helped her down. Maggie "we're going to Bagdad people. Someone page Dr Rhodes. Also the blood bank, we need as much as possible. Gabby and antonio you need to let them do their job. Your dad is getting the best care possible." She motioned over to sylvie, who was standing in shock. Completely covered in blood. Gabby went over and hugged her friend. "I know you did your best." Sylvie "Maybe this time my best wasn't enough. Excuse me but I need some air." Sylvie stood outside. Suddenly feeling a chill. She felt a leather jacket drape over her shoulders. She knew who it was. Antonio took sylvie into his arms, holding her as she cried. Sylvie "if your dad doesn't make it antonio, I don't think I could ever forgive myself." Antonio "hey, sylvie I know you did everything possible. Your a kick ass paramedic. I just wish the burden wasn't on your shoulders. Look I know your shift ended. I have some extra clothes in my car, if you want to change." Sylvie looked at her clothes "thanks antonio that would be great." He went to his car grabbed his to go bag, handing it over to sylvie. Sylvie went to change her clothes. She put her uniform in a bag. Walking into the family room. 51 was there, along with the pd, plus the dawson family. Sylvie sat by kelly, who wrapped his arms around her. As antonio approached sylvie "Kelly can you give us a minute?" Kelly "sure antonio." Antonio sat down by sylvie, who was sitting on a couch. Antonio "come here." Sylvie layed her head on antonio's shoulder, as he wrapped his arms around her. Sylvie "I'm sorry, it wasn't enough." Antonio "hey listen to me. We have not heard anything. My dad is still in surgery. How can I convince you to not feel so guilty?" He kissed her head. Pulling her closer. Sylvie had fallen asleep in his arms, something he truly missed. Gabby sat in the chair next to the couch. "I know she blames herself. But she isn't to blame. Maybe if I was a little more supportive. He wouldn't have been there." Antonio "this isn't on you. I haven't spoke to our dad in months. You shouldn't have had this all on your shoulders." Gabby "Sylvie looks content in your arms. I know that she hasn't felt this way in a while. Since the whole hope thing. Then the doctor who turned out to be married. She's lost that spark that makes sylvie who she was. I just hope she can get back to that. Don't you dare hurt her again, antonio." Antonio "trust me gabs, I will never hurt her again. I just don't know if she'll give me a second chance." Sylvie had woken up "why don't you just ask sylvie if she will give you a second chance." Gabby patted her brother's shoulder "your on your own." Antonio "maybe we can go out for drinks later and talk?" Sylvie's hand was rubbing his chest "I like that idea." The way sylvie was touching him, drove him crazy. He shifted in his seat. "You might want to stop." Sylvie "stop what?" She had a smirk on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. Antonio "you know what you're doing to me. I see that 'who me' look on your face. You're already wearing my clothes, so sylvie please stop." Sylvie "do you really want me to stop?" Antonio "no, but we're in a hospital with people all around us." Dr Rhodes walked in "Ramon lost a lot of blood. He pulled through the surgery. Now we wait to have his body heal. Hopefully he'll wake up soon. But right now the machines are breathing for him. The next 24-48 hours are critical. We'll be able to know more later." Antonio "is he going to wake up? Is he going to be normal?" Dr Rhodes "we will check his brain function shortly, to check and see if there is any brain activity." Gabby "if there shows no brain activity, that is bad." Dr Rhodes "I am hopeful that it'll all be ok. We are doing the best we can. I'm hoping you and your brother don't have to make any decisions regarding his care." Both dawson siblings just stood there, both shocked at the news. Sylvie "Maybe gabby and antonio you should go see him. Hearing your voices could help." Matt took gabby's hand, as they were about to go to his room. Antonio looked at sylvie "can you be with me, going to see my dad?" Sylvie took antonio's hand "of course." Walking in the room, everyone gasped. Antonio gripped sylvie's hand tighter. Antonio sat down in a recliner and pulled sylvie onto his lap. Gabby and matt did the same. Both couples feel asleep. Although antonio and sylvie's current state was a little more complicated. Antonio woke up, a familiar scent made him smile. He looked at her, knowing she could of left during all this. But she stayed with him, she didn't run away. Why was he so stupid to let her go. He saw her big blue eyes open. Sylvie smiled "Antonio." Antonio caressed her face "thank you for being here with me." Sylvie "there is no place I'd rather be, then with you." Antonio looked at his dad. His eyes were open "dad squeeze my hand." He did. "Gabby he's awake." Sylvie "I'll go get the doctor." Sylvie appeared with Dr Rhodes. Dr. Rhodes went through a series of tests. Took him off the ventilator. Dr Rhodes "He should be ok. Time will tell. Ramon you have a long road ahead of you. We'll take it a day at a time. I'll give you some time with your family." Sylvie and matt stepped out to give the dawson siblings time alone with their dad. Matt "I know gabs appreciates you being here with antonio. I hope you both realize how important you are to each other." Antonio walked out "hey sylvie do you want to get something to eat?" Sylvie "sure, but I need to go home and shower and change first." Antonio "ok, lead the way." He drove her to her apartment. Sylvie "Cruz and otis are out for the day. So come in and wait. It shouldn't be to long." Sylvie took a shower and got dressed. "You know antonio I could cook, so we don't have to go out to eat. Or we could order in. Your pick." Antonio "Let's order Chinese food, that way we can talk." Sitting on the couch both of them eating Chinese food like they always used to do. Like no time has passed. Antonio "I want to thank you for what you did for my dad, saving his life. I know it must have been emotional for you." Sylvie "you have no idea. If I couldn't help save your dad. I felt like I failed both you and gabby. I will never forget the look on gabby's face when we rolled him over, then realizing it was your dad. I thought gabby was going to lose it. She's tried helping ramon so much, but doing it herself was hard on her." Antonio "I should've helped gabby with our dad. It was just hard to watch what he did to ma in front of everyone. I get that a marriage can end. But the way he humiliated ma, he didn't need to be so cold." Sylvie "I was there antonio. Every family has their problems. Trust me my family drama can be pretty intense. My parents always accepted me, loved me like I was their own daughter by birth. Being adopted, I always felt loved by my parents. But the rest of my extended family wasn't as accepting of me." Antonio "when did you find out you were adopted?" Sylvie "it was never a secret. I've always known. It just makes me wonder why I my biological parents didn't want me." Antonio "you are an incredible person. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. I want to be that man for you, if you'll give me another chance. It's not going to be easy, but I want to try. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I will stand up for us, if you still want us. We were so great together. I believe we still can." Sylvie "I've waited for you to walk back into my life for so long. I've missed you so much. I want you in my life, I've tried to move on. But failed misrably. Those men weren't you. Yes, I'm willing to try again. If your ex starts something again, you better be ready to bail me out of jail. Because I won't let that woman dictate my life or your life." Antonio chuckled "of course I'll bail you out. I'm with you 100%." He reached for her face. Pulled her in for a kiss. God he missed those lips. Sylvie "my roommates will be home soon. I don't need all the questions. They're a little overprotective." Antonio "well eva is staying at my mom's tonight." Sylvie "so what are you trying to hint at." Antonio "you are coming to my place." Sylvie "now who's being bossy. Let's go, unless you want to give my roommates a show." Antonio "you are so adorable." They headed to his place. Awaiting whatever the night had in store for them. Both of them needing to be close to each other. Antonio unlocked his front door. He locked the door. Picked up sylvie, legs wrapped around him. Both kissing each other. He carried her to his bedroom, shutting the door with his foot. Laying her on the bed. He pulled his shirt over his head. God he missed this woman. Sylvie took her shirt off, waiting to feel antonio's lips all over her body. This night was going to be incredible.