#matoba doesn't really need help for this but he likes getting natori to do things for him and considers it a win lol

[hey-akaaaashi]

ok probably not gonna finish it more than this, so here's some horrible exorcists brain rot

just regular exorcist business, nothing to see here

[coquelicoq]

hmmm for the shipping meme! matonato and hankim or yoohankim?

[ID: A graph with the x-axis labeled "makes sense" on the left and "doesn't make sense" on the right and the y-axis labeled "compels me" at the top and "doesn't compel me" at the bottom. points labeled MN for matonato, HK for hankim, and YHK for yoohankim have been situated on the grid: MN in the top left (makes sense, compels me), HK at the top and to the right of MN (makes some sense, compels me), and two points labeled YHK, one slightly above and to the left of the center (makes some sense, compels me some) and one in the bottom right (doesn't make sense, doesn't compel me). /end ID]

wow this threw me off because for some reason i assumed that makes sense would be on the right instead of the left! so hopefully i made all the necessary corrections to what i originally wrote lol.

matonato: makes sense, compels me. probably obnoxiously obvious to everyone at this point. do they get a happy ending? i mean it's very fun to think about and i love me a good actually-together-matonato concept, but probably the most compelling thing about them is the star-crossed aspect. it's not will they won't they, it's why they why not they. why do they want this and why can they never have it? it's, how can i make this about natori's self-hatred? it's, who is matoba if he quits the exorcist business? (EXTREMELY JUICY AND COMPELLING QUESTION 2 B ASKING.) it's, what changes in their individual priorities and self-conception would be necessary before they could get together? asking myself these questions and understanding why they in their current forms can't be in a relationship helps me to better articulate who exactly they are and what motivates them and gives me avenues for thinking about possible character development. but like i said i do really love thinking about matonato endgame, and even though i know it's never going to be canon (which it doesn't need to be, obviously! we are in our sandbox making our own dreams come true), i'm reading the homura arc like girl why did you do that. where are you going with this??? fellas is it gay to stalk your homoerotic rival's enemies and the answer is a resounding YES. they are a good ship because thinking about each of them in the context of the other expands my understanding and appreciation of their individual characters, but also because it would be sexy for them to mash their mouths together. both are very important elements of shipping 2 me.

hankim: i want to say this is one of the most compelling relationships in orv but they are all compelling, it's actually insane. however hankim is definitely tied for first (with twenty other relationships). her love for him is the beating heart of the story. like the entire plot hinges around her loving him so much she would [redacted], but also the central themes are exemplified by how she feels about him and what she does about it. and he trusts her in a way he can't really trust anyone else, because she knows enough about the world that he can be open with her about things he can't tell others, and because he trusts her to be competent and able to achieve his objectives. mostly to me though their relationship Is About her love for him because of how badly he needs it and how little he can understand it, and how central it is to his entire character that he needs but cannot understand receiving that kind of love. i have not yet succeeded in imagining any kind of compelling sexual relationship for them, except the somewhat indirect one where he gives her permission to make a kim-dokja-looking avatar with which to fuck yoo joonghyuk while kim dokja is elsewhere minding his own business, but that's fine, they don't need to be having sex to have a compelling relationship, obviously. so yeah it's compelling af and it does make sense, but i'm taking some sense points off because the kdj-to-hsy direction is pretty standard shipping material while the opposite direction is like the entire point of the book. it's a lil unbalanced.

yoohankim: this ship fascinates me because i definitely never would have come up with it myself. hankim? see above. yookim? see below. but yoohan - DESPITE THE WHOLE DEAL AROUND WHO YOO JOONGHYUK IS AND HOW HE GOT THAT WAY - are just like. Only Here For Kim Dokja. any relationship they have with each other is a proxy for a relationship with kim dokja, mediated by their feelings for kim dokja, and put through the sieve of who the other person is to kim dokja. i think they have a very psychosexual thing going on where they're having a lot of sex with each other but mostly in order to feel close to kim dokja, who is not involved lol. which is its own kind of compelling, certainly. i guess you could say yoohankim is the ONLY way that yoohan makes any sort of sense to me whatsoever, so in that regard yoohankim is squarely in the northwest quadrant. but at the same time i feel like if kim dokja is actually present, their relationship with each other is more like in-laws than anything else. it's indirect. they don't have divorced energy…they don't even have metamour energy. i don't know. they're like this is my sister's mailman and i have no idea what he's doing at my nephew's piano recital, which is insane to me because they should have (nonsexual) parent-child energy if nothing else. so i also have to put yoohankim in the southeast quadrant. so far this is where most yoohankim fic i have read falls, but probably i just haven't yet found the one that would unlock it for me.

to close the loop i gotta talk about yookim (joongdok). the most enjoyable thing about it to me personally is that yoo joonghyuk so clearly wants kim dokja to hold him down and it's very fun to see kim dokja have to shift his entire paradigm to make that make sense. i mean, i think all of kimcom wants to hold kim dokja down (most of them nonsexually imo), but yoo joonghyuk is the one guy who's like "if you would just stop trying to kill yourself for two seconds then i could let you out of these handcuffs so you could have your way with me. you bastard." they make me crazy because they work together SO well and trust each other SO implicitly while also being like, wow this idiot has terrible priorities and so i have to manipulate him into furthering my agenda (keeping him safe) instead of his agenda (keeping me safe). they're also that evergreen combo of guy with low self-worth who's oblivious to other people's love for him/guy who loves so hard but never uses his words about it that makes me wanna read about them getting together 100 different times. in a slightly different sense than with matonato, thinking about them as a twosome better elucidates aspects of their own individual personalities and worldviews, which makes for a compelling shipping experience.

[lunasohma]

part v: loquats, lemons, and the arborist

[ a twist of lemon / bakery au tag ]

[ << Miss Matoba / chapter list ]

[ ao3 / ff.net ]

The trees are grown. The arborist pays his annual visit.

It is a secret, but Matoba Seiji thinks of Natori Shuuichi as a miracle. Maybe one day he’ll tell him.

‘Fresh fruit,’ he’d said to Shuuichi when the other, seemingly on a whim, had asked.

And like it was a matter of course, he’d brought Seiji some.

—

past.

The property has the means and it is just another miracle. Seiji wonders at fortune.

An open yard that wraps around the corner of the building. Seiji can see what it can become and he thinks that Shuuichi can too. A space like this in the city is unheard of.

And yet, it is theirs.

—

Loquats and lemons and the arborist Yorishima-san.

Shuuichi greeted him familiarly and Seiji wondered if he had the right to ask. His arm was held to his chest in a sling. Trees and the risks of falling was all he said, a touch rueful.

Shuuichi looked away.

Transplants like these are finicky. Soil, sun, water. Curated nematode inoculation. Seiji blanches and Shuuichi never hesitates. He brings the back of Seiji’s hand to his lips like he is a golden prince.

‘You won’t need to do a thing.’ He holds his gaze in a way that Seiji is still not used to. A flush steals across his face.

‘Stop that.’ Hushed.

But he can’t bring himself to disentangle their hands.

Yorishima-san shakes his head, but his mouth quirks.

It’s still a young love.

.

Of course, it would be foolish to hope and Shuuichi has already done so much.

But his Shuuichi is remarkably optimistic and later that night Seiji can’t help the laughter that bubbles up as he follows Shuuichi’s lead—a moonlit waltz across the garden of their new home. The susurration of trees is music enough.

Standard practice dissolves. Hands interlaced at the small of his back and Shuuichi’s face buried in his hair.

—

a phone conversation.

“Seiji!”

“Yeah?”

“Are you listening to me?”

No, not really. He pulls the cord taut with the need to be doing something with his hands, observing Shuuichi with the remainder of their ice cream. He often gets charmingly distracted. The spoon, forgotten, sticks out the side of his mouth as he mulls over their menu for tomorrow.

She makes an impatient noise. “This Sunday, I said! You guys are free, right? That’s the only day everyone’s available. Tell me you’re free!” His sister’s voice rises with a mild hysteria.

“Hm, should be.”

“Seiji!”

“Are you okay? You sound stressed, nee-san.”

“You are the one stressing me out!”

“Okay, okay, this Sunday—” he attempts to quickly confirm, but the only sound is the receiver violently slamming down on its cradle.

He gives his head a shake to stop the ringing in his ears and shoots her a text. That predictably sends his phone into a paroxysm of frantic buzzing to the edge of the table. Seiji scoops it up and tosses it to the couch.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Shuuichi chides.

“When am I nice?”

“You’re always nice to me.”

He scoffs. “Always is generous.”

“What can I say, I always think the best of you.”

“Was that a line?”

“Guilty.”

It’s a chaste kiss that tastes of yuzu.

.

“So this Sunday?”

“I think it’s too soon,” he speaks candidly.

Happily, Seiji finds outdoor work is as rewarding as baking. But there are only so many hours in a day and just the two of them.

The trees look nice though. They seem to be standing taller every day, searching for the sun, no doubt.

They’ve come home covered from head to toe with mud and dirt every night. He spies some now, shading Shuuichi’s collarbone. Seiji doesn't miss the intake of breath when his hand brushes Shuuichi’s skin.

“I’m just worried it won’t be enough.” It’s just the truth of it. He lets his eyes close as Shuuichi runs his fingers through his hair.

“Don’t worry, Seiji. Sparkles are a form of misdirection. We’ll be fine.”

He can’t help an amused huff. “My savior.”

—

present.

“Yorishima-san must be unlucky.” Shuuichi is out on an errand when he stops by, so Seiji presses the inquiry.

Every year, the same arm in the same sling.

Nyanko-sensei is here today too. He’s eavesdropping from his favorite pillow on the sunny window-seat. One eye opens, gleaming.

Now that he knows something about some things, Seiji wonders at the nature of the arborist.

It’s just curiosity and he tells himself he won’t pry. That usually works out.

Yorishima-san sits back, considering him, the fingers of his right hand drumming on the table.

“Not even Shuuichi.” Is all he says.

“Is that right?”

Nyanko-sensei makes a move too, marching into his lap. “You smell all wrong, kid.” With his typical Cheshire flair.

Yorishima-san takes it in stride. Dryly, “Can’t say I’m sorry to offend your nose, cat.”

Seiji tugs at Sensei’s tail and the lucky cat takes up a perch on his shoulders, nose twitching in earnest. Seiji settles back in his seat, absently gives Nyanko-sensei some chin-scritches.

“It’s no problem, Yorishima-san. Would you care for some more tea?”

“Yes, actually. That would be lovely.”

.

Shuuichi returns just in time to see Yorishima-san gathering up his things.

“Leaving so soon? I just got back with these. For Seiji, right?”

It’s a parcel of brown paper wrapped in twine. Seiji takes it warily.

“Old family recipes, some desserts in there, I think—I forgot to bring them with me, so I just sent Shuuichi.” The arborist is staring directly at Seiji. Nyanko-sensei tenses, ever so slightly.

Shuuichi glances back and forth between them. “Um, something wrong?”

Seiji delicately peels back the layer of paper, stares down at the first recipe—a galette with frangipane. “Nothing at all, Shuuichi, dear.”

Shuuichi winces. Seiji’s pet names only come out with claws. But it’s not his fault, so he mollifies his words with a kiss to the cheek.

“Take care, Yorishima-san.”

He offers Shuuichi half a smile and Seiji something more lopsided before he heads out.

.

“What do you know about chess, Nyanko-sensei?” Seiji fills a small plate with extra macaron shells for him.

Sensei gives a full-body shake and tucks into his cookies a touch viciously.

Shuuichi wonders what flew over his head today.

.

The galette is delicious and Seiji is not ashamed to admit that he would feel better if it was not.

Anyways, it’ll go on the menu come springtime.

[loquatenjoyer69]

#ah shit he is FULL OF SHAME MY DUDE#but really with matoba keep giving the 'and the weak keeps flocking to us and now we have to take care of them too' speech#it's no wonder natori feel really ashamed for carrying this... ruined legacy#i hope midorikawa yuki locked them in a room again these two...#they need to talk TALK

RIGHT!! I'm especially thinking of how when they were in the room Matoba was like "If you can't (get us out), shall I take care of everything?" /_^ and in the Homura arc when he's like "do you understand now? I'm the only one who can help you." Like he seems to enjoy reminding people the He Is Matoba.......It's kind of the opposite of what Natori needs lol and it's curious because i don't think he was like this as much when they were kids. Like there were those moments when Natori thought he was condescending to him but I think back then he was just being blunt and didn't think about what kinds of things Natori would or wouldn't know.

Now that they're adults and Matoba has taken on the responsibilities of his clan....I don't know, maybe this is just my biased way of reading it but I feel like this is the only way he knows how to relate to and take care of people. Like, "I'm more powerful than you, I'm the only one who can help you" etc, but it all just plays into Natori's...inferiority complex to put it one way.

These two have always just been like, The Wrong People at The Wrong Time for each other......seconding your prayer for midorikawa to put them in a room together again, especially after Natori's "These days i think a person doesn't have to bear it alone" like let them talk!!!!!!!

Below are some ramblings about a panel from the Younger Cousin arc (chapters 113-116), so if you haven't read it and don't want to be spoiled (though I don't really discuss the plot), don't read this.

Okay I've been wanting to talk about this because ever since I read this it's been like circling like a record 'round the spindle of my mind, so to speak, lol. This is right after the bit that Joelle made a post about, which really sums up my thoughts about the mood of this entire exchange, pretty much. Especially "#THE. ABSOLUTE HANGDOGNESS. THE REFUSAL TO LOOK AT US [...] #'no i couldnt keep up my family's grudge against a family i also genuinely hate i didnt have the backbone u__________u'." But what really gets me about this particular line of Natori's is that he drops this right after having seemingly finished telling Natsume about his relationship to the Matoba clan. He's like "No, I don't have any beef with them now, I get job assignments from them even, etc etc. Well, now we've figured out the secret even though it took a while..." and then we get the above panel, which for me is a little difficult to translate naturally in English while still retaining the nuances which make it hit so hard to me, so I'll provide a very rough translation just so you can get the idea. The most surface level and clunky reading of what he's saying is basically

"Did you see something that seemed like this deserted house and the industry leader are opposed to each other?"

Obviously, he's talking about himself and the Matobas, but instead of saying it more directly, like 「私と的場一門」 ("me and the Matoba clan") or 「うちと的場一門」 ("me and the Matoba clan" but with a different pronoun that can refer to one's family), he uses さびれたうち to refer to himself and 業界最大手 to refer to the Matobas. 業界最大手 is pretty straightforward, it means the number one company in an industry basically. さびれたうち does mean abandoned or deserted house, but うち as you may have noticed can also be used as a first person pronoun (most commonly by women but it is used by men in certain situations, and both Matoba and Natori have used it). It refers to one's family or house, which is usually when Matoba and Natori will use it. When they're talking about their family or something like that, the text will read 的場 (Matoba) or 名取 (Natori) but the furigana will say うち. So here, Natori is using うち to refer to himself/the Natori family, but he's marking it as an abandoned house, in comparison to Matoba's industry leader.

Overall I guess this isn't the most deep or crazy thing ever, but something about the way he chose to say it like that, like "Did you see anything that made it seem like this abandoned house (me) and the industry leader (the Matobas) are in opposition?" really highlights his mindset to me. Even though he's still determined to make his own way as an exorcist, he's painfully aware of this power differential, and maybe he feels some shame or conflict about the fact that he relies on the Matobas; he couldn't keep up the feud if he wanted to. It's not possible.

He says it with his back turned, and it just comes out; it feels like it's been weighing on him, and before Natsume can even say anything, he apologizes and is like "sorry, that was a weird thing to say." It really does feel like he had been holding it in and it just slipped out.