#masters of social work

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

Debating if I’m meant for grad school or not.

I’m torn between “just keep pushing through despite the pain” and “take a break, get back in therapy, get your finances situated, get back on meds, get an adhd evaluation, and then go back”

I’m so close to finishing, but I’m back to having breakdowns every day. I spent most of yesterday crying.

And I think both are valid. However, there’s no Guarantee that life will be any less stressful a year from now. It could be worse. But I could also be more capable of handling it. Like, it’s still hard for me to believe that there are people in life who don’t have breakdowns over minor inconveniences. I felt like I was getting there and then i couldn’t afford therapy anymore and I couldn’t afford the medication appointments and they wouldn’t refill without an appointment. I had my adhd appointment scheduled and I just couldn’t afford it.

And maybe I’ve painted this green grass picture where I think things will be easier when my mental health is better and I’m able to focus better. Maybe it won’t be like that.

I really just need to talk to the school and see what options are even out there. It could totally not be an option to take a break. That would solve the internal battle.

I want to finish grad school. I don’t think I’d give up entirely. I took a break in undergrad too and still finished. I took a year and a half break, but never lost the vision. Grad school, my masters degree, that’s always been the goal.

Anyway. Props to parents who go through grad school. I can barely take care of myself and my dog.

[howdoyouexpressloneliness]

How do you express loneliness?

Hi everyone,

I’m currently writing my master’s thesis in social work on the topic of loneliness. After already having written a bachelor's thesis on loneliness during the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown using a questionnaire as a research tool, my thesis supervisor and I came to the conclusion to stay on the same topic but handle it with a different approach.

Everyone has had experiences with loneliness in their life. No matter if they felt lonely themselves or heard about it, seen it on TV or read about it. Within my master’s thesis I want to explore the different ways people express loneliness. The research question of the master's thesis is therefore: "How do you express loneliness?".

My idea was to base the research on submissions. Within the submissions everything is possible, no matter if it is textual or written, artistic, videos, songs, photography or anything else that might help contextualize loneliness. (Examples could be: poems, texts, essays, haikus, lyrics, paintings, drawings, collages, videos, songs, photos etc.)

Please send your submissions to the Google Forms page created for this purpose: https://forms.gle/dF8xYQYz51ncUwSp9

Or to the e-mail: expressingloneliness@gmail.com

(If you’re German or can speak the language, please make sure to submit your work in German because that is the language the master’s thesis will be written in. But I am grateful for any and all submissions)

All submissions are confidential and will only be used for the purpose of research for my master’s thesis. All submissions are anonymous and any information to any personal information will be anonymized.

If you have any questions or suggestions please make sure to reach out to me! You can find me at the e-mail address: expressingloneliness@gmail.com or @howdoyouexpressloneliness on tumblr.com.

Thank you for participating!

[ad0rechuu]

MY FRIENDS AS CAKES; A THREAD. ━━ OBEY ME p1

prompts / plot. ━━━━━ mcs shenanigans on twitter as they assign cakes to their companions

*𖤐₊ ━━━━━ gn! reader x the obey me boys , two shot smau : crack / fluff (?) , staring: mc, lucifer, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, beel & belphie , rating: pg-13 , tw: mentions of food, swearing, death, all the fun stuff , notes: there are like no obey me smau fics so here u go! i always wanted to do one of these!! this my first post so please leave some comments or smth !

masterlist | part two

[shannonsketches]

like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime

why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?

it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working

Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!

[thegreatyin]

the adventures of the neath's most annoying definitely-totally-a-bat-and-not-the-scoundrel-in-a-robe continue (cards. their name is mr cards. or so they insist.)

this time: coworker antics. tune in next week on dragon ball Z where we'll be killing all of them with hammers

[kirkwall-tourism-department]

guess who just finished their grad school applicationnnnnnnnnn

[mueritos]

being in a social work masters program as a marginalized person who is ages ahead in theory and experience in comparison to your (white, privileged, rich) cohort is a fucking minefield. solidarity for all and every other marginalized person in these fucking micro aggressive and liberal ass social work programs.

[officialkendallroy]

gave my mom a super cunty short haircut SLAYYYY appointments for sabs salon now open !!!

[mostlikelytofangirl]

I love JC and W/W/X's mess primarily as platonic but I can't deny the eroticism of putting your organ in your bestie. XD

Some shippers have compared them to the couple from Wuthering Heights and while I never finished reading that so I can't comment, I can appreciate the gothic horror vibes.

-Regular Anon

Hi there, anon!

Oh, absolutely. Lol JC and WWX are a wonderful disaster whether as ship or platonic, and I very much appreciate every interpretation bc the amount of emotions and baggage there is off charts and I'm all for it!

Their tragedy is one of the most fascinating parts of the story imo bc of how rich and complex their dynamics are, I could read a book only about them :D

I'm gonna be honest with you chief, I have never willingly consumed anything related to Wuthering Heights ^^;. I know it's like an english classic or something, but I guess it's not that popular on my side of the globe :P, everything I know of it is from pop culture and tv parodies, so I can't comment on it either lol

[aesrot]

actually fuck you all, i should start advocating for reader inserts more openly

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

Probably not the last school post but I really need to make a decision and true to overthinking fashion, I’m probably going to spend my entire weekend grappling with this decision.

I think I’m leaning toward taking a break. I need to know by Monday.

The rest of this is just processing.

The video I posted yesterday really resonated with me. Elyse said “the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing”

I think, at times, I tend to really gaslight myself spiritually (the traumatized 90s church kids get it haha). We’re taught “God won’t give us anything we can’t handle.” But I’m also realizing (through school since it’s a Christian university and we do devotionals every week) that God also gives us discernment and wisdom.

Everything seemed to be lining up so perfectly for school. I was supposed to start in 2021, but the program shut down. It ended up that 2021 was one of my worst years of life (there was literally something traumatic that happened every month), I got transferred to a school with a really great curriculum set up, we ended up moving into a two bedroom so I could have separation from work, my job moved me closer to home which cut down on commute time, I got a pay raise which would help with the costs of school. It just so happened that all of this was happening around the time school started. So it felt “right”, it felt “God ordained.”

Looking back in this very moment, maybe it wasn’t for the purpose of school. Maybe it wasn’t for the purpose of anything in particular. Maybe it fell into place for wedding planning and the wedding, maybe it was an opportunity to work on my physical and mental health. Whatever it was, I focused on school and have been forcing myself to keep pushing because “this is where God wants me to be”

Elyse also said that sometimes you have to say no when the timing isn’t right not because of fear or imposter syndrome, but because of your limits at this time.

I think I struggle with this part the most, but I feel more affirmed looking at it this way. I’ve struggled with the “why” do I want to leave. I’m very hard on myself and I feel a lot of guilt and pressure from my parents. Their thoughts become my thoughts. Is it because I’m lazy? Because I want to do nothing after work? Because I’m afraid of the internship? Because I’d rather go out with friends? Am I incapable? But it’s none of that.

I know I am 100% capable of finishing grad school. I’ve proven through 4 classes now that I am capable. It can’t be laziness or else I’d never turn things in. Not only am I able to do the assignments, I’m getting all A’s. My lowest grade so far was a 96% and that’s because I skipped doing an assignment because I just had too many things going on to do it. Fear is not what is holding me back.

“An opportunity that seems perfect can swallow you whole and spit you back out and take a lot more from your life than it will give to you”

THIS. When I weight the pros and cons of each decision, there are way more cons of leaving. But when I put them on a weighted scale, the pros of leaving wins by a landslide. I think the reasons I’m leaving have more value than the reasons I’d be staying. My mental and physical health need to be a priority because that’s what gives me the strength to do life. I think that maybe I needed a hard push from life to understand that. Even my sleep schedule is crucial because sleep is what helps regulate our moods, maintain our physical health, process memories and retain learning, and probably so many other things. The fact that I am getting 4-5 hours of poor sleep a night Could be reason enough to pause. I really only say that because I’m still trying to adjust to this new work county and learning how to set forth boundaries on my time. Therefore I’m just not sleeping when I have to leave my house at 630 in the morning for a meeting an hour away, etc.

At this point, school seems to be taking more than its giving. Again, I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. Perfection in this situation is continuing to get all A’s, graduate on track, be at every work meeting no matter how late I went to sleep, be there for every family function, be available any time a friend wants to spend time. That’s…not humanly possible. I think that no matter when I’m in school, there will always be something I have to sacrifice and unfortunately that tends to be friends and family. But with time, I think I can adjust work expectations and school expectations. I think if I work on my mental health, I will be more capable of balancing all of these things. If I am in better physical health (I’m talking about menstrual/hormonal issues, my weight, my sleep) I will be more capable of balancing everything.

Right now, I feel like school is taking everything from me. I’ve been having a lot of flashbacks again of my first marriage (I don’t understand why, other than I think when I’m stressed, it reminds me of the stress I felt back then) and taking it out on M. This isn’t okay. I’m also having a lot of emotions resurfacing from undergrad - that same feeling of loss of control, hopelessness, pressure. These things almost broke me. And my biggest fear is that if I don’t get a handle on my mental health, I may not be so lucky next time.

But then there’s that other side of this where I feel so dramatic. Like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. That I’m romanticizing this break. I have 11 more months to go. Why can’t I just do it? But I think my mental health is important enough for this break. I have to make changes in my life, for real this time. And I think I finally have tangible motivation and goals to help me succeed.

[itsdespicablebre]

Okay update : I gave y’all three pics but y’all gonna have to go to my IG for the rest 🤷🏽‍♀️ IG:itsannab_

I still can’t believe I mastered it y’all😝😝😝😝

[ad0rechuu]

MY FRIENDS AS CAKES; A THREAD. ━━ OBEY ME p2

prompts / plot. ━━━━━ mcs shenanigans on twitter as they assign cakes to their companions

*𖤐₊ ━━━━━ gn! reader x purgatory hall + the demon lord castle , two shot smau : crack / fluff (?) , staring: mc, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, luke, solomon & the demon brothers, rating: pg-13 , tw: mentions of food, swearing, death, all the fun stuff, idk if luke’s technically counts as secreligious , notes: (solomon is younger than everyone but luke btw) i’m working on an ateez smau and a long form obey me series so enjoy this in the mean time ^_^ thank u for all the love on the previous part it was my first post so it’s been really lovely and overwhelming!! i’ll make a part three when the new character become official playables or i’ll just learn more about them because i’m only on lesson 60 !

masterlist | part one

[kardulis]

YEEEESSSS LETS TALK ABOUT SHAWOL DAN BRINGING A PICTURE OF JONGHYUN INTO HIS BARBER LIKE GIMME THIS PWETTY PWEASE

that is literally my roman empire!!! and that one old ass livestream where he's singing snsd's gee live rent free in my head... dan howell do you want to go to the taemin concert with me 👉🏻👈🏻

[trans-axolotl2]

In my last residential treatment stay, I did have one psychiatrist who I trusted and had a positive relationship with. Her name was Dr. R, and when I came in on the first day of treatment and told her that I would not take any psych meds and that I had a lot of past psych trauma, she validated me and told me that she would not bring up meds unless I did. Throughout my stay there, she was empathetic, listened to my concerns, helped advocate for me, and generally made me feel heard. At the same time, when management took away our doors-she did nothing. When I needed to get a feeding tube--she lied to me about how long it would be in, and what I needed to do to get it out. She enforced policies about restricting outside breaks, restrictions on items, and contributed to treatment plans that my friends felt were unfair and damaging.

She was a good person and I liked her, but she was choosing to work within a system where she could not control the dozens of things happening there that harmed us every single day. This is what I mean when I say there is no such thing as a good psychiatrist in inpatient units--she was a progressive, validating, nice person --but her very job description made it impossible for a “good provider” to exist. To be a provider who wasn’t a part of the harm that was occurring on that unit, she would have had to quit, because the very requirements of her job required committing ethical violations, restricting peoples autonomy, and perpetrating iatrogenic harm. If she had stopped enforcing harmful policies and challenged her coworkers publically, she probably would have gotten fired. And that really is the problem--causing iatrogenic harm has essentially become a job requirement on inpatient units, and being a “good provider” by the metrics of the system require you to participate in that harm. 

I think Dr. R did a better job than most inpatient psychs in mitigating the harms she participated in, and finding ways to resist shitty systems when possible. I was glad she was there and I think she made my treatment better, but the two of us had a lot of conversations together where she acknowledged the fucked up things happening in the treatment center, acknowledged her role in them, and also stated that she did not have any power to change them. She could not fix the system by working within the system. 

I get a lot of questions by people who are interested in careers in the mental health system, and asking me on whether I think it’s okay for them to work there. My first response is usually if you’re asking because you’re feeling guilty after seeing what psych survivors say, I’m not someone who’s going to give you permission to ignore that guilt. The second thing I usually say is this: you need to go into this job aware with the fact that you will cause people harm, you will get into ethical dilemmas, and there will be times where you will either have to betray your personal values or quit. There isn’t one right answer on how to engage with mental healthcare as a provider, with the reality that until we build up alternative systems of care, the current structures still exist and have people who need support inside of them.  If that’s something that you think you can navigate in a way that lets you create the least harm possible, then that’s something you need to decide for yourself, and to think really deeply about if the reality of the psych system matches up with your goals.

[otter-byte]

Not only am I plagued by the fiction ideas I haven't written yet, but I am also haunted by the dozens of ideas I've had over the years for small psych/sociology/economics papers I'd love to work on, but lack the education and willpower to submit grant applications for lmao