#master list: jungkook
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mygloviesme · 1 year ago
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cool about it. || myg
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predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol
summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?
WARNINGS: abusive, toxic relationship (not w/myg. this story delves deep into it so if that triggers you at all i highly suggest you not read), mentions of alcohol and some underage drinking, slight harassment, cyber bullying, just bullying in general, victim blaming, negative self-thoughts, it’s a heavy story overall so please please put yourself first ♥️
no. 1: tell myself one day ill forget about it
no. 2: breaking a sweat about it
no. 3: if you’d only ask
no. 4: get out of my head about it
no. 5: feeling like an absolute fool about it
no. 6: we don’t have to talk about it
no. 7: ask you easy questions
no. 8: trying to forget about it
no. 9: I came prepared for absolution
no. 10: no regrets
no. 11: so i take some offense when you say,
no. 12: i let you lie
no. 13: knowing that it probably isn’t true
no. 14: and practice method acting
no. 15: once, i took your medication to know what it’s like
no. 16: met you at the dive bar
no. 17: ill pretend being with you doesn’t feel like drowning
cool about it, eleven years later: no. 1
cool about it, eleven years later: no. 2
cool about it, eleven years later: no. 3 (finale)
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yeh-kaali-kaali-ankhein · 1 year ago
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Its been a long time since I have been scared of kim seokjin
I need mafia seokjin recos please
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mintxseesaw · 2 years ago
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Masterlist.
Updated. Nov 20, 2023.
[ key. ❃ ⇾ fluff; ☘︎ ⇾ angst; ☆ ⇾ smut ]
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☾ kim namjoon.
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☾ kim seokjin.
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☾ min yoongi.
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☾ jung hoseok.
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☾ park jimin.
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☾ kim taehyung.
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☾ jeon jungkook.
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☾ nothing yet.
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☾ nothing yet.
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onehoplessromantic · 6 months ago
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(late again) but hello? new chapter on my bday is crazy. another day another slay for this damn series. 💅
Chasing Cars | ch 11 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: cursing, alcohol, minor character ghosting everyone, cheating?, explicit content: a spicy videocall, mutual masturbation?, fingering/jerking off, sex toy (vibrator)
☆word count: 8.4k
☆a/n: this one hurts, but I hope you'll still love it :') thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3
☆series masterpost
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Tuesday, April 30th 
You’ve been lost in thought for hours - every hour feels like a whole day, and you can’t focus on what Ria is saying right now. She went off while speaking about Seokjin, but all you’re able to do is look out the vitrine of the café where you’re sitting along with Nabi. It’s raining - you think it’s fitting now that Jungkook is gone.
He’s texted you throughout the day, more than he usually does. It’s been reassuring, yet you feel like there is finality in the world today, in the way raindrops chase each other on the glass of the vitrine like you used to chase cars around Jungkook’s head. You haven’t replied to his last text message, haven’t even opened it yet.
You don’t dare to when you’re sitting with your friends.
“Are you even listening?” Ria’s annoyed voice cuts through your thoughts, and you startle, looking at her.
“Sorry, what were you saying?”
She groans loudly, and then says, “What do you think about Seokjin?”
You widen your gaze, holding in a smile. “Why do you want to know?”
“He’s annoying, right?” she says.
“Is that why you’ve been spending all of your free time with him?” Nabi interjects, earning a glare from Ria.
“I have not.”
“You certainly have,” Nabi insists. “Both you and Y/n have been MIA to study sesh during the finals because you were with your boyfriends.”
Your heart drops to your stomach, your throat drying. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Nabi and Ria both throw you a no-bullshit look, but Ria loses it first, saying, “And I’m not dating Seokjin.”
“Where were you yesterday?” Nabi asks.
The prolonged silence is revealing, and you burst out laughing at the same time as Nabi.
“It doesn’t mean anything!” Ria says.
You pick up your smoothie, taking a long sip from it as Nabi says, “Obviously not. That’s why you have a hickey on your neck.”
You choke on your sip as Ria blushes, yet in pure Ria fashion, she wiggles her eyebrows. “What about it? At least I’m not fucking my brother’s best friend and lying about it even though everyone in the world literally knows.”
You put down your drink, gaze widening. “That was low.”
“Deserved though,” Ria insists, folding her arms on her chest.
There’s no animosity to the way she is speaking. Just amusement, and a teasing undertone that strikes a nerve now that he’s in Paris and the future of your relationship is so uncertain.
“For what?” you let out, looking towards Nabi for help. She pretends she isn’t listening, looking down at her empty latté mug, but you see on her face how she’s waiting for you to say something. “Tae wouldn’t let it happen.”
“Tae was gone for the semester,” Ria points out. “And you spent a lot of time with Jungkook, and he always drove you home and shit. We know, babes, I don’t know why you try to pretend it wasn’t happening.”
“You’re just trying to get the conversation away from you and Seokjin!”
It’s a weak comeback, but it’s all you can do.
“For real, even though I might be sleeping with Jin,” Ria says, introducing a nickname you’ve never heard her say before, “I’m not into him for more than that. But you and Jungkook…”
You feel like throwing your smoothie at her, but you choose peace and remain silent.
“So you are fucking Seokjin,” Nabi chimes in, throwing you a lifeline you immediately grasp on.
Ria shrugs. “So what if I am?” she asks. “It’s just sex.”
You think about Seokjin, about the forlorn look in his eyes whenever you’re out in public, and she flirts with other people. You highly doubt it’s just sex for him, but he’s too respectful to tell Ria, isn’t he?
“Is it though?” you say.
Ria nods forcefully. “At least to me it is. If it’s not the case for him then that sounds like his problem, not mine.”
You wince in time with Nabi, and she says, “That’s mean, Ri.”
She throws her hands up in defence. “What do you want me to say? I don’t like him like that.”
That’s fair enough. You can’t force a heart to love, like you’d realized last November with Hoseok. 
No matter how much you’d tried to love him, you’d never even had butterflies with him. Maybe even then you knew that true love wasn’t to be found with Hoseok, but with Jungkook instead…
“He’s great though,” Nabi says. “He’s got a solid research grant.”
“I’m not a nerd like you guys. I don’t care about his research grant”
You snort. “You so are a nerd. You like anime.”
“Anime isn’t for nerds,” she insists. Which, you totally agree with the statement. You’ve watched a couple of them with Jungkook, and you found each and every one of them fun to watch.
But Ria doesn’t need to know that.
“Yeah yeah,” you say. “Keep telling that to yourself.”
She glares at you, but Nabi intervenes with, “Why wouldn’t you care about the grant? It’s really good for him.”
Ria shrugs, falling serious. “Because I don’t care about him like that. He’s just a good fuck.”
Ria’s always been like this. Ever since you’ve met her, she’s always been the type to sleep around, and you’ve always encouraged her for it, as it was helping her get over the fact that she was cheated on. Yet right now you feel bad for Seokjin - maybe because you know he’s into her, and you wish for her the happiness you’ve been experiencing with Jungkook.
Happiness that is now on hold, possibly never to resume.
“Fair enough,” you say, and you grab your smoothie to finish it, taking two long sips.
“What about you and Jungkook?” Ria then asks, and she smirks victoriously.
You put the empty smoothie glass away, sighing deeply. “Honestly right now there’s nothing to tell.”
“Did you fuck him?”
You purse your lips, shrugging. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because it’s so obvious!” Ria says. “Your hair sometimes smells like cologne, and you can’t tell me it’s someone other than him. You would have told us if you were seeing someone else.”
“Not that I want to stir shit but…” Nabi trails off. “She’s got a point.”
“Leave me alone,” you grumble, though you don’t see the point in hiding it anymore.
It’s not like they might say something in front of Jungkook’s friends, who would then tell Taehyung. You’re planning to tell Taehyung the second he lands and crosses the threshold of your shared apartment after all.
“You’re blushing,” Ria teases.
“Because you’re putting me on the spot!” you say, shaking your head. “Leave me alone.”
“Oh no.” Ria’s face falls, and her mouth hangs open for a few seconds as her eyes go round. “Oh no, babes.”
“What?” you let out, sounding grumpier than you feel.
No, you just feel apprehensive as her whole demeanour changes.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
It falls like a hydrogen bomb, leaving nothing but dust behind. And you can’t answer. All you have to offer is a blink, and the sound of your heart shattering in the distance.
“Oh no,” Nabi cuts in. “Y/n, you know his reputation…”
“We’ve been together since Valentine’s Day,” you quickly say, only so that they stop before making you feel bad. You’ve gone down that road before, and you’ve long come back from it. “Or as together as we can be considering Tae.”
“Bitch you what?” Ria shrieks. “That’s insane. You were letting me go on and on about him while you were with him?”
“Wait, you’re with him like boyfriend-girlfriend?” Nabi asks before you can reply to Ria.
“I knew he wouldn’t get with you,” you say to Ria, and then you glance at Nabi. “And no, we’ve never really talked about it, or referred to it as boyfriend-girlfriend.”
“So, it’s a situationship then?” Ria asks.
Though the words pain you grandly, they ring true. Far too true for it to be comfortable. “I guess so. But… I know the feelings are reciprocated.”
You sound delusional, even to your own ears. Maybe because he’s on an entire other continent - out of sight, out of mind. But you saw his soft gaze whenever he looks at you. You were there when he kissed you by the door before leaving yesterday. 
I promise I’ll come back to you and make it work, he’d whispered.
And fuck, all you want to do is believe him, believe that there’s a way you truly can make it work.  
“I hope you’re right,” Nabi says, though she sounds infinitely doubtful.
You don’t blame her. They don’t truly know Jungkook - not like you do.
“Wait…” Ria repeats, though this time she continues with, “That means you were together with him when you went to New York.”
The extravagance of the luxurious condo where he’d grown up flashes before your eyes as you nod once. “Yeah.”
“Bitch!” Ria lets out. “I knew it! I can’t believe you pretended you guys were just friends then.”
Unable to stay silent anymore, you retell your relationship to your friends. You tell them everything - how it started, how it entirely changed in New York, what he’d whispered right before he’d left. You tell them everything, not mentioning the fact that Jungkook is rich, feeling like that isn’t your story to tell. 
You feel lighter after. Like finally being able to tell people has taken a weight off your shoulders. You reckon, you might start flying when Taehyung knows. When you don’t have to hide it from anyone anymore - you’ll be weightless, like a cloud in the sky up above.
It’s with that in mind that you head home for dinner, Nabi having something planned with Namjoon and Ria having to head to work. You check your phone as you walk home, safely hidden underneath your red umbrella.
[4:14 pm] JK: any chance we can facetime tonight?
It’s almost an hour later, yet Jungkook’s text makes butterflies flutter in your stomach, and you smile down at your phone as you reply with,
[5:07 pm] You: i’ll be home in 10 min, you still up?
Jungkook’s answer comes almost half an hour later when you’re trying to cook some noodles the same way that he showed you - a lot spicier than what you can handle, but spicy makes you think of him, so spicy it is.
[5:33 pm] JK: i’ll call you in two
You assume he needs to find a place to hide so that your brother doesn’t hear, and you apprehensively - in a good way obviously - wait for him to call as you gauge the amount of gochujang to put in your noodles. He ends up calling five minutes later, and you immediately answer, a bright smile on your lips.
Jungkook is smiling just as brightly when he comes into view, his eyes sparkling at the sight of you. He looks a little dazed, like maybe he’s had something to drink, but he still looks just as beautiful as he always has.
Even a phone camera cannot dim Jeon Jungkook’s beauty. 
His eyebrow piercing glints in the soft light on his side of the line, where he’s sitting outside. He toys at his lip piercings, glancing away from his phone for a few seconds before setting his gaze back on you.
“Hey peach,” he greets you.
Your heart is warm, gentle, when you reply, “Hey Kook.”
He notices you’re in the kitchen as you stir the noodles, and his gaze widens just a little as he says, “Are you cooking?” You flip the camera to show him your creation, and he nods approvingly. “You’re getting good at this,” he praises, and a light blush covers your cheeks.
“Only because I had the best teacher,” you say as you flip the camera back towards you.
He chuckles. “The best indeed.” There’s a pause as he glances around again, seemingly making sure that no one can hear, and then he asks, “What were you up to today?”
“I went to a café with Ria and Nabi,” you admit. Your cheeks burn even more, and you avert your gaze.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks, immediately noticing your unease.
“I might have told them about us,” you reveal, and you worry at your bottom lip.
You think he’ll be mad, upset, but instead he laughs, a clear sound that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “You’re adorable. I can’t wait to tell my friends either.”
“As soon as you come back,” you promise. “We’ll tell Tae the second he walks into the apartment.”
Jungkook nods vehemently. “I’m not waiting a second longer,” he agrees. “And if he’s pissed, we can just run into the sunset together.”
That makes you laugh, and Jungkook watches you, his eyes sparkling with amusement and what you want to believe is love.
“He will be pissed,” you warn him. “But we’ll figure it out.”
“We will.”
You fall silent as voices are heard on the other side of the line. They’re speaking French, so you can’t really tell what they’re saying, and you wait as Jungkook watches them walking by before focusing his eyes on you again. 
“Where are you?” you ask him.
“Just in a park outside of the Airbnb,” he replies. “Thought it might be better to call you while outside.”
“Good call.” You move the pot in which you’re cooking your noodles away from the heat on the stove, turning it off. “What did you do today?”
Jungkook tells you about his day as you pour your noodles in a bowl, and then sit at the table to eat. It’s too hot for the first few minutes, so you just listen as Jungkook tells you about his overnight flight, and about the struggle to find the Airbnb. He admits he napped for three hours straight when they finally got there, and that they went out for dinner after, coming home around the time he texted you earlier to Facetime.
The first bite of your noodles reveals that you might have made them a little too spicy, but under Jungkook’s watchful gaze, you make sure to eat everything, dousing the spice with the Yakult you’ve bought because Jungkook likes to mix it with soju.
“You know,” Jungkook says as you finish eating, your cheeks red with the spice. “I wish you were here with us. Seeing Sera and Jimin, and Ariane and Tae…” he trails off, offering you a sad smile. “I really wish you were here, peach.”
Your heart squeezes in your chest, and you offer him a small smile. “I really wish I was with you, too.”
A beat of silence passes, while you get lost in his gaze and he gets lost in yours. He furrows his brows a moment later, and he says, “Tae texted me to come back.”
“Oops,” you let out, and he chuckles softly.
“I don’t want to hang up though,” he says, and he pouts in that cute way of his.
“Keep me in your pocket then,” you challenge. “I’ll be mute as a rock.”
He cocks an eyebrow as he laughs. “I’ll turn off my volume just to be sure. I’ll try to hide in the bathroom or something.”
You approve of his plan, and a second later your screen goes dark as Jungkook does indeed hide you in his pocket. You move to your bedroom as you wait, and you hear noises coming from his side, though most of it is muffled by the fabric.
It takes almost ten minutes, but Jungkook pulls you out in a blindingly bright bathroom, the fan loud enough to hide your speaking.
“I’m back,” he says.
You chuckle. “Obviously.”
He narrows his gaze, and then scans your features. “You’re so pretty.”
The compliment takes you by surprise, and your cheeks turn red as you let out, “Oh.” You gulp, and then add, “Thank you.”
“And you might think I’m insane but, fuck, am I crazy for wanting you right now?”
Your blush deepens as you watch his gaze go from sparkly to lustful as he pulls on his piercings.
“Right now?” you repeat, feeling a little breathless all of a sudden.
He nods. “Yeah. I already miss how you feel when I’m balls deep inside of you.”
You roll your eyes, the redness lingering on your cheeks. “We had sex yesterday morning,” you remind him.
“Yeah, and?”
He’s insufferable. He’s insufferable and adorable and, if everything goes well, this man might be yours in a week.
It sets your nerves alight with reciprocated desire, and you bite at your lower lip. “Nothing,” you innocently say. “I’d definitely suck your dick right now though.”
His gaze hardens almost imperceptibly. “Peach.”
You smirk. “What?”
“Anything else you’d do?” he asks, and he shifts where he’s sitting.
“Mmh.” You pause, let the suspense linger. “Maybe I’d tie you up. You’re always trying to control everything, maybe you deserve to be put back into your place.”
“Shit.” You know your bold words had their effect on him when he shifts again, sucking on his piercings harder. He runs a hand through his hair, and then he says, “I’ll fuck you so hard when I come back, peach. I want to hear you screaming my name.”
“So loud Tae hears?” you tease.
He has the decency to look slightly embarrassed, yet you know him enough to know it probably just turns him on more. 
“Definitely,” he says. He inhales sharply, leaning back against the wall. “I’ll fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum.”
You’ve never had sex without a condom, but you remember that first night when he’d fingered you with his cum…
You’ve always been insane for him, haven’t you? 
You clench your thighs together, seeking friction, as you notice Jungkook moving to touch himself too. 
“You will?” you say, breathless.
He nods, and then he curses under his breath. “Now I’m hard for you.”
“Yeah?” you let out. “Show me.”
His eyes darken even more, and he chuckles lowly. “I don’t do nudes, peach.”
It surprises you so much that you lose your arousal for a few seconds, up until Jungkook grunts.
“Well, you’ll do it for me, mmh?” you tease, a smirk adorning your lips.
“You’d like that, huh?”
You would. A lot more than you should - you’ve never been big on nudes either. But… phone sex isn’t exactly nudes, is it?
“I would,” you say after a few seconds of debating if you should or should not do it. “I want to see you, Kook.”
The nickname undoes him. Jungkook sucks on his piercings, and then he moves, his camera blurring. You know he’s taken his pants off when he comes back on screen, his eyes swirling with lust for you.
“Why don’t you show me yourself first?” he asks.
You don’t even hesitate. You’re in bed after all, and ridding yourself of your clothes only takes about thirty seconds, as Jungkook listens to the rustle of the fabric.
You grab your phone when you’re fully naked, making sure that he can’t see anything yet.
“What do you want to see?” you ask, and you only then realize that Jungkook is shirtless, and from the motion in his bicep, he’s clearly jerking off.
You turn molten, liquid lava, like you’re the magma under the tectonic plates. 
“All of you,” he purrs. “I want to see all of you, peach.”
You oblige, propping your phone against a pillow as you lie against another pillow. Jungkook immediately moves his camera so that you can see how he’s stroking himself, and you let out a breathy sound as your hand slides between your legs, pressing lazy circles on your clit. Jungkook watches you hungrily, cursing under his breath.
“Fuck, I wish I could touch you right now,” he says, voice low and husky.
“I wish you could,” you echo.
He picks up his pace on his dick, wrist twisting when he’s close to the top, grip tight like you know he likes it. It’s sinfully beautiful, arousing, and your circles grow faster, quicker, desperate as you seek the pleasure only he can provide.
“Don’t be shy,” he says after a few seconds. “Use your vibrator.”
You don’t need to be told twice, and the second the toy is vibrating and buried inside you, you let out a low-clipped moan.
“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jungkook says. “With your tattoo and just… fuck.”
You just answer with a moan that sounds like his name, and he curses again.
“You make me such a mess,” he says. “A fucking mess for you, peach.”
“Yeah?” you breathlessly let out.
“Fuck yeah.”
Your pussy makes squelching sounds as you push the toy in and out of yourself, the buzz a background to the lustful actions you’re partaking in. Jungkook’s camera isn’t quite angled on his dick anymore, but you don’t even care.
Not when you’re aware he’s watching you, drinking every little sound you emit as pleasure rakes through your body. The thought is far too enticing, arousing, and your walls clench around the toy.
“Shit, I’ll come so quickly,” you admit, not even embarrassed about it.
“Do it, peach,” Jungkook says. “Fucking come for me.”
You don’t need more, the crude words pushing you over the edge. You still the motions of the toy inside of you as your walls pulse and pulse, yet you keep drawing circles - slow again - as you milk your orgasm out of you. Jungkook watches it all like he’s starved for you, and when you finally pull your toy out of yourself, he’s the one that groans, “Fuck peach, I think I’ll come too.”
You don’t even have to say anything. He immediately comes, white spurts of cum shooting from his dick. The white cum covers his hand, his tattoos, and you almost want to start again, the sight so devilish yet so beautiful to you.
“Fuck,” Jungkook says, grunting as he keeps milking his climax out of himself, his pace barely slowed down. 
Eventually, his dick stops twitching, and Jungkook stops, hand wrapped around the base. You eye the cum still dripping from his hand, rolling down the back of it.
It’s pornographic. Deadfully so, and you bite at your lower lip.
“That was hot,” you breathe.
“Yeah,” Jungkook breathes, and he puts his phone down, revealing the ceiling and the light fixture. “It really was.”
You assume he’s cleaning himself up, so you quickly do the same, heading to the bathroom. 
Jungkook comes back into view when you’re on your way back to your room, and you feel shy under his gaze. Not embarrassed, but what just happened makes your heart skip beats and your cheeks burn, in all the right ways.
“We should do this again,” Jungkook says when you’re lying in bed once more, your vibrator cleaned and put away in your night table.
You smirk mischievously. “Wouldn’t you like that?” you tease.
He laughs, and it makes you miss him so much your heart squeezes in your chest.
He’s only been gone for a day, and you’re already going insane. You’re lucky it’s just a week - in six days he’ll be back, and hopefully you’ll never have to be apart again.
“I would,” he says, and he offers you a lopsided grin that makes you want to hold onto him, forever.
You take a deep breath around the emotion as it swells up in your chest, in your soul. The smile you offer him is warm, filled with all the feelings that your heart hosts for him, and he immediately reciprocates.
“Can’t wait for you to be back,” you admit, voice small as if you’re afraid he’ll reject you.
You know he won’t - you’re creating that universe where it makes sense for you to be together after all.
“Soon, peach,” he promises. “And then I’ll annoy your ass until you don’t like me anymore.”’
As if that would be possible. 
“Good luck with that.” 
He chuckles softly, and it breaks into a yawn, reminding you that, even though he’s just on the other side of the screen, he’s in an entirely different timezone, and he’s likely still jet-lagged from his overnight flight.
“Tired?” you ask.
He nods. “I’ll go to bed as soon as we hang up,” he says. “We’re visiting the Louvres tomorrow.”
Your phone vibrates in your hand as a text comes in, but you can’t read the text at the top of your screen before it disappears. You switch to your messages app, brows furrowed.
“Where did you go?” Jungkook whines.
Your heart drops to your ass as you read the text once, twice, trying to make sense of it.
[6:07 pm] Yoongi: hobi left and blocked me
A second text comes in just a few seconds later.
[6:08 pm] Yoongi: he didn’t even say goodbye
You immediately switch to your conversation with Hoseok, and you ask him what’s up, but the text remains green despite the fact that the rest of the conversation is filled with blue bubbles. 
He’s blocked you too. And when you go to the group chat with all of your other friends, you notice he’s left it as well, and you’re blocked on social media too.
“Where are you?” Jungkook whines again, the pout in his voice evident.
You go back to Facetime. “I think I’ll have to go.”
He looks displeased, and he toys with his piercings, his tongue pushing into his cheek a second later. “Why?”
“Yoongi needs me,” you say. “And!” you quickly add before he can say anything. “It’s about Hobi.”
“What about Hobi?” Jungkook asks, and you hear the annoyance just as well as you see it etched on his features.
You usually find him adorable when he gets jealous, but right now you can’t even focus on that, your thoughts going to Yoongi, whose heart is likely shattering on and on at the moment.
“He left and blocked everyone,” you tell Jungkook. “So yeah, I think Yoongi’s going to need me tonight.”
Jungkook doesn’t like the explanation. It’s clear as spring water, yet he still says, “M’kay.”
“We can call again tomorrow?” you suggest, hoping that it’d reassure him.
Even though he doesn’t need reassurance - there’s no one else in your heart but him, and you hope he knows it.
“Sure,” he says.
It’s your turn to pout. “Please?”
At that he melts, his features softening. “Well if you ask so nicely…” 
That ends the conversation, and you quickly say goodbye, wishing him a good night. You take him in up until he hangs up the call, missing him the second that he’s gone. 
But you know Yoongi needs you, no matter how much you wish you could stay here with Jungkook. 
*****
Two hours later, you’re sitting on Yoongi’s bed, Namjoon on your left while Yoongi sits on the floor, his back against the bed. He’s drinking a beer, and you have an unopened one next to you. Condensation covers the bottle, yet you haven’t found it in you to drink yet.
Yoongi has been silent. You’d got there almost at the same time as Namjoon, and you’d been surprised to see him. Namjoon had just shrugged and said, “I’ve known him my whole life”, and that had been that.
It’s hard to cheer Yoongi up. Even harder after he told you that all Hoseok left behind was a letter of apologies. And you’ve read the letter - it broke your heart too, and you can’t even begin to imagine how Yoongi’s feeling.
In the letter, Hoseok explained why he decided to leave. You were right - he wanted to leave because of his relationship with Yoongi, seeking to flee from the reality of it, from the fact that Yoongi was his best friend, and that he felt like he’d lost that. It’s something you can understand - losing a friend is always hard, and sometimes the friendship is worth more than a relationship. At least it was to Hoseok. And though in the letter he claims that he’s enjoyed the last few months with Yoongi, his sudden absence, with no way to contact him, is proof enough that he didn’t really.
At least that’s what Yoongi’s been saying. 
Namjoon was shocked when Yoongi revealed his relationship with Hoseok. Even more so as he realized that you, out of everyone, were the only one who knew. Yet he’d taken it in stride, offering to have a beer with Yoongi.
“It’s fucking bullshit,” Yoongi says for what seems to be the hundredth time. 
You’d let him say it a thousand times more if that helped him feel better.
“You know what we should do?” Namjoon says from beside you.
You glance at him, before setting your gaze on the back of Yoongi’s head again.
“What?” Yoongi asks, looking over his shoulder.
“What about a rage room?”
Yoongi laughs an empty laugh. “No thank you. Though maybe it would help temporarily, I kind of just want to find a way to tell Hobi he’s a dick.”
You quickly found out that Hoseok has indeed blocked everyone from the friend group. As if cutting everyone out of his life was the only way he’d find solace in his new life. You think it’s a cowardly thing to do, and you’ve said so a couple of times already, to Yoongi’s delight.
“I don’t think that would bring you anywhere,” Namjoon carefully answers, the voice of reason itself.
You disagree, as you’ve always had more of an explosive personality, but you remain silent.
Yoongi glares at Namjoon. “It’d bring me a lot of satisfaction, thank you very much.”
Yoongi is funny. Behind all the cold exterior he has for people he doesn’t know, he’s got a funny persona you never thought was there. And you love it - he reminds you of you in some ways, and maybe that’s why you’ve gotten so close so easily.
“I personally think we should find out where he went and slash his tires,” you innocently say as you grab the beer bottle.
Namjoon narrows his gaze. “I doubt that’d be a good idea.”
“But fuck if it wouldn’t feel good,” Yoongi says, and he hands you the beer opener.
You open your beer, immediately bringing it to your lips as it foams and it threatens to spill. You drink as much of it as you can, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“It would,” you echo. “But maybe we can resort to more peaceful options. I feel like Namjoonie here will go insane if we keep suggesting stuff like that.”
“He’s boring, isn’t he?” Yoongi says.
“Yeah, why did you invite him?”
Namjoon snorts. “You guys are aware that I’m right here?”
“Did someone say something?”
Yoongi tilts his head to the side, pursing his lips. “I’m not sure. Maybe the apartment is haunted.”
“It has to be,” you agree, nodding forcefully.
“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Namjoon asks, and you burst out laughing in time with Yoongi.
You’re relieved to hear him laugh. You didn’t know what to expect when you’d suggested coming over, but it’s a relief that he isn’t that much of a mess.
But then again, you have a feeling Yoongi is the kind of person to put on a mask whenever he’s with people. And maybe that’s okay - maybe tonight you’re just a distraction to keep him from spiraling out of control. 
You don’t mind. 
“Nothing,” Yoongi says, sighing deeply. “Besides the fact that I’ve just been ghosted by my best friend.”
You wince at the harsh reality of his words, but Yoongi shrugs it off as Namjoon says, “It’ll get better.”
Another sigh moves through Yoongi, and he nods. “I know. It’s just going to suck for a while.”
You shift, sliding from his bed down to the floor so that you can sit next to him. “And that’s okay.”
He avoids your gaze as you look at his profile, and so you glance away, your eyes sliding to his record player. The record he put on when you arrived has done playing, and you’ve been sitting in silence for fifteen minutes, but it’s a comfortable silence.
Maybe because you speak when needed, and Yoongi and Namjoon have a calm aura to them that you find you appreciate far more than you’d expect. You’re used to Ria after all, and though you love her, she’s a tornado everywhere she goes.
“How are you and Nabi?” Yoongi asks all of a sudden.
Namjoon blushes, as the quick glance towards him tells you. “You sure you want to talk about that?”
Yoongi shrugs. “It’s not because I’m miserable that everyone has to be.”
“You’re not miserable,” you gently say.
Yoongi’s side eye makes you stifle a laugh. “Let me be miserable.” There’s a pause, and Yoongi eventually pushes up from his bed, sitting straighter so that he can turn and look at Namjoon. “So?”
“We’re good,” Namjoon finally replies. “I’m trying to take things slow because of…” he trails off as he looks at you. “But yeah, we’re good.”
“That’s great,” Yoongi says, and though it doesn’t sound sarcastic at all, he adds, “Genuinely. You deserve it man.”
You don’t know a lot about Namjoon’s previous relationship. Just the girl’s name - Julia - and you can’t help the curiosity that overtakes you. But you’re not a dick. Indeed, you hold your questions in, instead saying, “If you hurt her, you’re a dead man.”
He winces, laughing lightly. “Ria told me the exact same thing.”
“Because Nabi is too precious and she needs to be protected at all cost,” you vehemently say, half-joking. You follow up with, “But seriously, please do take things slowly, and always be honest to her. She’s had this massive crush on you, and I really don’t want her to get hurt.”
“I know,” Namjoon says, and he sighs, looking down the neck of his half-empty beer bottle. “I’ve had a crush on her too so…”
“You did?”
Yoongi laughs. “He so did. He kept mentioning her for months, saying that she was just a friend.”
“I mean, technically she was,” Namjoon says, trying to defend himself.
He’s blushing furiously now - it’s climbing up his neck and covering his whole face, and you think, that right here is what Nabi deserves.
“We always knew it wasn’t just that, though,” Yoongi says. “Clearly Julia knew too.”
Namjoon’s expression falls, and he sighs deeply. “Yeah. To be fair, she’s the one that decided to end things.”
You remain silent, taking a long sip of beer to refrain from saying something stupid, something that would silence Namjoon. You hate the taste of beer though, and you scrunch up your nose in disgust as you swallow. It goes unnoticed by both men, as Yoongi says, “Honestly, Julia was a bitch.”
“She had it rough growing up,” Namjoon replies, his voice drowning in what you think might be nostalgia, or regrets. “Hopefully she’ll get better from now on.”
“Having rough circumstances growing up doesn’t give someone an excuse to be a dick though,” Yoongi flatly says, not one to mince his words after all. “But yeah, hopefully she’ll get the help she clearly needs.”
Damn. You almost feel bad for the girl, but then again you don’t know her. Maybe Yoongi’s animosity towards her is deserved, and you don’t feel like questioning it.
No, you’d rather Namjoon forget about her and focus on Nabi instead.
“Whatever,” Namjoon lets out, shrugging his shoulders. “Even though everything with Nabi is recent, I feel a lot better with her than I ever felt with Julia.”
“Not hard to beat,” Yoongi grumbles underneath his breath, which earns him a slap behind the head from Namjoon.
“Hey, I get that you’re sad but don’t be a dick,” Namjoon sternly says.
Namjoon is a natural leader. You’ve seen it before, when he’d led your team from Frosh week to success. And you’ve seen it every time he’s TA’d a class, yet right now you realize he might be a leader in his friendships as well. Indeed, Yoongi folds, apologizing right away.
You end up spending the evening at Yoongi’s place. Your other friends join, and though the air around Seokjin and Ria is clearly tense, you end up having a blast. Even Yoongi seems to be enjoying himself, but when you notice him increasingly silent, you suggest heading home. He offers you a thankful gaze, and you guide everyone out of the apartment.
To your surprise, Yoongi hugs you goodbye, holding you close for a few seconds longer than you’d thought he’d be comfortable with. But then again, you reckon he might need it, so you hug him tight, letting him choose when to pull away.
“Thank you for tonight,” he whispers when he does, and his eyes glint with the silver on his waterline.
You offer him what you hope is a comforting smile. “Anytime, Yoongi. Just say the word and I’ll be here for you.”
“I’ll remember.”
You smile again, and then you wish him good night, walking out of the apartment last. Yoongi keeps the door open as you all walk down the stairs, and he shuts it when you’ve all disappeared from view. 
You send him a silent prayer to be gentle with himself, and you can only hope he hears it over the sound of his breaking heart.
Friday, May 3rd
You like your summer job. It’s chill, and you don’t have to start too early, so you always enjoy it. You’re an assistant at an optometry clinic, which means you do the pre-tests for the doctors, and since they don’t start before 10 am, you don’t either. 
What you don’t like is that one of the optometrists finishes at seven pm, which means you also do, and finishing at seven pm on a Friday evening should be a crime. It’s no wonder you’re slightly grumpy when you finally walk outside, waving goodbye to the optometrist.
At least she’s chill. She could be an asshole, but she got the team donuts today, and she even bought you lunch when you admitted you didn’t bring anything.
You walk to your car - the one you share with Taehyung - and you pull your phone out of your purse as you do so, eyes skimming over all the texts you’ve received.
You’re going out tonight, to a bar that Yoongi chose for its relatively chill ambiance, and you’re excited for it. Yoongi’s been MIA since you all hung out at his apartment, so you hope it’ll cheer him up, and you hope it’ll also help with pushing Jungkook out of your thoughts.
Not that you mind thinking about him - sometimes you believe him to be the president of the land of your mind. But he’s been texting you less and less every day, and you haven’t facetimed yesterday despite him saying he’d try.
You’ve been trying not to make a big deal out of it, but something about it feels off somehow. You reckon you’re probably just imagining things where none are, afraid as you are of the fragility of the relationship. 
But then again you’ve always trusted your gut feeling, and it’s never really failed you before.
You sigh, trying to ignore the foul taste in your mouth so that you can read the texts on your screen instead. Ria’s the one that texted you most recently, saying,
[6:46 pm] Ria: can we get ready at yours?  [6:47 pm] Ria: tho my mom’s happy I moved back in for the summer, she doesn’t want me to invite people over [7:06 pm] You: sure, heading home now
You reach your car, opening the door and throwing your purse on the passenger seat. A second later you’re sliding in, and you turn the keys in the engine. The car purrs to life, and soon enough, you’re on your way home, listening to the music on the radio.
Your mood brightens slightly when you reach home and see that there’s a spot on the street right in front of your apartment. You immediately grab it, even though you suck at parallel parking and it takes you three tries, and then you’re jumping out of the car, climbing the stairs to unlock the door.
You manage to take a shower before Ria shows up, a sour look on her features. You cock an eyebrow, letting her in. She breezes past you, not saying anything, and that more than anything else tells you that something’s wrong.
“What’s up?” you say as you carefully shut the door behind her.
She sighs loudly, extravagantly. “Jin isn’t coming tonight.”
You widen your gaze. “Oh?”
“He said he’s tired from work,” Ria says, and she folds her arms on his chest. “He sucks.”
You snort. “Why are you so worked up?”
“Because I know he’s lying!” She takes off her leather jacket, putting it away in the closet, and then she kicks off her shoes to strut into the kitchen. “Can I grab a glass of water?”
“Sure,” you say as you follow behind her. “Why do you think he’s lying?”
“He’s going on a date and doesn’t want to come to the bar after,” she admits, and the frown on her face tells you everything there is to know.
She is jealous, but she’ll never dare admit it. She’s way too proud for that, and though sometimes you know it protects her, you feel like it can be her demise all the same.
“Oof,” you only let out.
“Right?” She chugs the glass of water, putting it away in the sink. She leans back against the counter, folding her arms on her chest. “He’s just got out of a relationship, why would he get in another one?”
“I mean…” you trail off, shrugging. “Isn’t that what Namjoon did with Nabi?”
“That’s not the same,” Ria insists, shaking her head. 
It is, as a matter of fact, the same, but you refrain from saying so.
“He doesn’t even know the girl, she’s a blind date that his colleague is forcing him to go on,” Ria adds. “Why would he want to go?”
“Well…” you let out. “Maybe he just wants to throw himself out there again.”
Ria doesn’t like you saying that, and she offers you a scalding look that makes you snort again.
“You’re so mad,” you tease her.
“I’m not!”
“Do you like him?”
She makes a disgusted face, shaking her head. “No, of course not.”
“Then why does it matter if he’s going on a date?”
The answering silence is telling enough, and Ria clenches her jaw once, before pouring herself another glass of water. “I hate when you make sense.”
“Love you too,” you answer, and you walk to her as she’s got her back turned to you. You hug her from behind, saying, “We’ll have fun tonight, I promise.”
And you don’t know who you’re trying to convince. You or Ria. Because the dreadful feeling that sits in the pit of your stomach only intensifies as you get ready, putting your makeup on in the bathroom while Ria curls her hair with your curling iron.
You’re almost done, about to put your setting powder on when the music stops, and the unmistakable sound of the Facetime ringing fills the room. Your heart jumps to your throat, and you quickly put your brush down, grabbing your phone.
“Damn, who’s calling you?” Ria teases your reaction.
You frown as you see Taehyung’s picture from your contacts - you’d expected Jungkook. 
You pick up, and it takes a few seconds before it connects. Taehyung’s smiling face comes into view, and it takes you half a heartbeat to figure out he’s drunk.
Jimin is laughing in the background, and you hear Sera scolding him, though all you can see is Taehyung, and you think the shoulder beside him might belong to Ariane.
“Sis,” Taehyung greets you. “Not ignoring me anymore?”
“Hello!” Ariane says, and she comes into view, resting her head on Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Hi?” you answer, and Ria chimes in with a far more enthusiastic “Hello!”
“Y/n!” Jimin says in the background.
Taehyung turns his phone just enough for you to see Jimin, who’s waving like a madman.
They’re all drunk. That much is clear. What’s clearer is the absence of a certain Jeon Jungkook in the group, and you can’t help but wonder what he’s up to.
He hasn’t texted you since this morning after all.
“What’s up?” you ask.
“Just thought I’d check in with you,” Taehyung says, his speech slurred. “Anything fun planned tonight?”
“Going out with some friends,” you answer. “Nothing extravagant. What are you guys up to? Isn’t it crazy late in Paris?”
Taehyung frowns, focusing on something. “Just two am, not too bad.”
Right.
“What are you doing?” you ask, and you sit on the closed toilet, glancing once at Ria who seems fully focused on doing her hair.
“We’re just chilling while Jungkook finishes up with Gaby,” Taehyung says. “They fucking stole the bedroom.”
Ria’s head snaps towards you, as time slows and slows and slows, coming to a halt long enough for you to say, “What?”
“Yeah, you’ll never imagine,” Taehyung says. “Ari’s best friend here is JK’s ex from high school. She’s French but she grew up in New York.”
Chronology is interrupted - you think there might be a hiccup in the line of time. But then it starts again, far too quickly, and your blood fills with adrenaline, your heart picking up in your chest.
“Who?” you let out, sounding infinitely stupid.
But then again, maybe you’ve been a fool all along, since that very first kiss he’d claimed to be a fake Valentine’s Day kiss.
“Gaby,” Taehyung repeats. “Gabrielle. She’s pretty chill.”
Your heart aches in your chest. It burns like someone threw acid on it, and you feel it shrivel behind your ribs, slowly turning to dust.
“Oh.”
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, and you wonder if you imagine the knowing look that passes on his face.
“Nothing,” you quickly reply, but you can’t breathe anymore.
It’s like there’s no more oxygen in the room, and you’re choking on the nitrogen, your mind spinning.
Taehyung gets up, and then everything is truly spinning. You think you hear Sera saying something that sounds like ‘Come on’, but then again you might be deaf.
All you hear is that sentence Taehyung said - We’re just chilling while Jungkook finishes up with Gaby.
When you were younger, you’d always believed your heart to be invincible. You’d felt invincible, like maybe you were meant to conquer all mountains. 
Tonight, you realize you’ve never been invincible - you just never cared enough about anything to thoroughly break, your heart shred beyond recognition.
Taehyung is walking somewhere. He laughs on the way, and Jimin is close behind, as you can see his head peeking over your brother’s shoulder.
“Don’t open the door,” Jimin says.
Taehyung snorts, and it’s like he forgot you’re right there. Or maybe he’s enjoying this.
Maybe he’s known about Jungkook all along, and this is his own twisted way to kill the relationship before it really starts. 
Your reckon, you deserve it. For all the lies, for the truth hidden, you deserve it. But then again, isn’t Jungkook the true responsible of the neverending breaking in your chest? Because it’s breaking - like a glass dropped, your heart is shattering. 
Perhaps chasing cars around Jungkook’s head was only ever leading to an inevitable crash.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung singsongs, and then you hear a door being opened, and the camera flips.
You don’t even know why you’re still looking. You know exactly what’s going to be under your eyes - what is under your eyes - but you can’t stop watching. Can’t really see it either, blurry as it is behind the tears pooling in your gaze.
I promise I’ll come back to you and make it work
He was never going to come back, wasn’t he? He was bound to be left in the past - you should have known when you’d kissed him by the door. Should have known to take the time to commit his features to memory.
Your vision clears, and the scene comes in focus. He’s dressed. He’s fully clothed, and so is she - you don’t even know if it’s a relief. Because they’re clearly kissing, and you think maybe he’s ripped your heart from your chest.
He was lying to you. He was lying to you through it all, wasn’t he? You should have listened to everyone, should have run while you still could.
You’re crying. You only realize you’re crying when Ria steals your phone from your hands, quickly hanging up the call. 
“Y/n,” she gently says, and she kneels in front of you, wiping the tears on your cheeks. “Y/n.”
“Holy shit,” is all you’re able to say before you break into sobs, shaking from the ferocity of the heartbreak. 
Your heart, now shards of glass, pricks your skin, pricks your soul. Everything hurts - you burn and drown, you freeze and blaze. You can’t breathe around the sobs, choking on them as they rock through you, yet you can’t stop them.
And as you break, you see him on Valentine’s Day. You see his sparkling eyes, his gentle gaze. See his lips right before he’d kissed you, so gentle like he’d been afraid to break you. You see him in New York, see him as he’d fucked you like you were in the clouds. You see him every day since then - you’d been so convinced of the reciprocity of the feelings that you’d forgotten who you were dealing with.
You think perhaps you’d truly just been the little sister, a fantasy he had to check on his bullet list of things to do in his life. And perhaps he’d been afraid of breaking you, of the inevitable consequences on him.
“He fucking lied to me,” is the first thing you manage to say through the breaking.
Ria pulls you in, and you fall on the floor, where she holds you as you cry. 
“He fucking lied.”
She strokes your hair. “I’m sorry.”
And it hits you then - Jungkook never really said he had feelings for you. It’d just been an act - the grandest act of his life, perhaps. And you’d been foolish enough to fall, to fall and fall and think he’d catch you. You’d thought you were diving in sweet waters, yet tonight you crash on concrete, the Earth’s gravity destroying you until you’re just a memory, meant to be carried away on a wind of heartbreak.
Ria stays with you until you fall asleep in your bed, your makeup ruined by your tears.
Your heart ruined by Jeon Jungkook.
Prev | Next
☆☆☆☆☆
.................. i am deeply sorry. please don't hate me for this one, and feel free to scream at me too :') (i promise everything will make sense one day)
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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colormepurplex2 · 9 months ago
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Shatter With Me | JJK
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▻ Shatter With Me ↳ Model!Jungkook x Surrogate!f.Reader ⤜ Surrogacy AU ⤜ Best Friend’s Husband | smut, fluff, heavy angst ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: ~46,420 (ongoing) ⤜ Summary: Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure. ⚠️ Crass language, talk of infertility, drinking, very mild bullying and references to cruel behavior/words, talk of surrogacy, at-home medical procedure, genital touching (non-sexual), planned pregnancy, talk of pregnancy termination/abortion, BIG hurt feelings, open palm slapping, accusations of infidelity, rejected/unwanted drunken kissing that could be viewed as dubious infidelity, lies/deceit about fertility, broken marriage, infidelity, talk of divorce/filing for divorce, legal separation, kissing, fingering, cunnilingus, mild dirty talk, mild begging, sex while pregnant, creampie Each chapter will have specific warnings listed as they're posted.
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Chapter 1: Waving The White Flag
Chapter 2: Please, Let Me
Epilogue: Room 613
Wretched Heart: Jiyoon's POV (bonus chapter ongoing)
This story will be completed with the bonus POV chapter.
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A/N: Part of the @btsfests Daddy's Home writing fest!
A/N: A special thank you to @hisunshiine @downbad4yoongi @lo1k-diamonds and @lunarelle1013 for their unfailing beta services!
Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad
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◅ Back to Main Master List ©️   2024-03  ColorMePurplex2
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ldysmfrst · 3 months ago
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American Mate (14) - Does it Always End in Ruin?
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Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 14 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 11,223
Work count for Story: 112,695
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work because I almost died in August of 2024.
Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, Alphas fronting, a scenting session with hints of a panic attack, comfort, possessiveness, angst, and mentions of giving aphrodisiac-laced chocolates to Jungkook without his knowledge. There are also nightmares containing mentions of past trauma, violence, abuse, and threats of death.
BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit
AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST
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You can scent me in the car.
You… can… scent… me… in… the… car…
It’s not like he is gonna do anything untoward– right?
Your body flushes with thoughts of the many ways the scenting session could go “wrong,” like pinning you in the corner against the door and backseat, ravishing your neck in a way that ensures you have a mark that anyone can see.
Following the hyper-focused Prime Alpha of Bangtan Pack to allow him to scent you in a car like you both were some horny teenagers with no control makes the walk through the Gala a blur.  With how firmly Namjoon holds your hand and guides you with determination, you aren’t the only one feeling it, right?
Your mind was going from things that were not safe for work while simultaneously trying to find ways to throw on the breaks. You were too much in your head battling away the thoughts you shouldn’t be having for a mated man, much less a mated man at a public event with other hybrids that you were 100000000% could smell just what you were thinking of. 
What would the rest of the pack think? Seokjin, Yoongi, and Jungkook had already scented me in bed, as bad as that sounds, but why did getting scented by the Prime Alpha in the back of a car sound so much more… intimate? It's like something that he should be doing with his bonded mate, not you.
Your mind is yelling at you, coming through like a spotty radio, while your body is thrumming with the charged atmosphere that now encapsulates the two of you.
Then again, you could be making this up and reading into things too much. That must be what is happening, right? The after-effects of being tangoed with by Lee Minho… you were still starstruck, and emotions were running high. You did that in high school, letting your emotions get the better of you, which is why you started shying away from skinship. Who wouldn’t after getting humiliated day in and day out about being an attention-seeking fat whore in the cafeteria with no help from the staff?
Whatever, back to the issue at hand. He has bonded mates waiting for him to come home. You should excuse yourself to the bathroom and call one of them. 
Jin would be a good phone call, and he is the oldest.
Then there is Yoongi, who is almost powerful enough to be the Prime himself. 
Taehyung is supposed to be helping right now; maybe he… he can… Agh! What teleport to the Gala and leave with Namjoon instead of you?
No, you already let Jimin’s Alpha, Jin, Yoongi, and Jungkook intentionally scent you, which means Namjoon should be able to scent you… in a car. 
They all have said they want skinship, and you said you would be willing to try. Now get it together, woman! Besides, you told Hoseok that everyone deserves a second chance.
This is Namjoon’s second chance.
You have never turned away someone in need before, and clearly, whatever Lee Min Ho did triggered Alpha Joon to come out, and he needs the scenting session to calm down. You were their Playmate, which meant supporting the emotional needs of your assigned hybrid(s) was also part of your job.
The next thing you feel is Namjoon letting go of your hand, which brings you out of your internal argument as he drapes your cape over your shoulders. You watch him as he secures the closure and fusses with it to make sure it is lying correctly.
You are searching for anything to tell you exactly where he is with any of this. You notice the rigid set of his jaw, which hasn’t relaxed since you saw him at the start of the dance with Min Ho. His breaths are almost a perfect count of seven in and seven out, which means he is doing that for a reason. 
When he looks at you again, those forest green eyes are dark and piercing. It’s like time freezes; unlike his even breaths, yours seems to be caught. You can see so many emotions moving behind those eyes, but they are flashing so fast, and you don’t know him well enough to tell what they are before they are gone. 
“Prime Alpha, sir, ma’am, your car is here,” says Jen. Startling you like she came out of thin air. Smiling at Jen and moving towards the car, you hear Namjoon speak with her in hushed tones. 
Now that you can breathe again, you take some cleansing breaths before you climb into the car and buckle up. Scenting is simple. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. 
You are in a car, for god’s sake. 
As you smooth out your skirt, Namjoon gets in on the other side of the car. Careful not to touch you, he turns to face you, his calculating eyes searching your form. You can hear Jen get in the front, but the partition is up.
Licking your lips out of nerves, you hear a low growl next to you. Suddenly, the world outside the car looks fantastic as the car starts the drive back. 
“Y/n.”
Hearing your name said in Alpha Joon’s deepened voice causes your heart to flutter and your eyes to close. You said scenting was okay, and YOU offered to do it in the car. You weren’t raised to go back on your word, nor have you ever left someone in need. 
Since Namjoon is a temporary pack for you, you couldn’t deny a packmate a scenting session. It must be the Luna part of you that wouldn’t let you.
“Alpha,” you breathe out, finally looking at him. 
The stillness in his body and the focus of his attention is something that only a predator hybrid like him can have. It almost pains you to see him so closed off and far away.
“Bergamot and sugar waves,” he says with a slight tilting of his head. “You want to scent but are scared of me.”
At his words, you realize just what you have had to have been putting him through while walking from the dance floor till now. Your scent must have been a swirling chaos. 
“Not exactly, Alpha,” you vaguely answer the nonexisting question. “I am not scared of you.” 
While his shoulders drop as his tense leaves his body, his eyes narrow in further contemplation as he asks, “What of?”
“None of it is something you have to worry about, Alpha,” you smile, trying to convey that you are physically fine even if your scent says otherwise. 
“Mine,” Alpha Joon says, closing his eyes, tilting his head back and swallowing. “Worry for mine is my job. Now, what of?”
Mine. Mine. He keeps calling you “mine,” which sends a shiver down your spine every time he says it. You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You want to not fall into the delusion that you are his, but you want to not argue with someone as powerful as a Prime Alpha. 
“I don’t know how to give you what you need,” you answer his question in the most roundabout but truthful way possible. Your answer seems to bring his attention back to you, but it is laced with confusion this time. 
“Jungkook scents with his chin, Yoongi scents with his cheeks, but Jin and Jimin seem to do it with touching. I don’t know what you need,” you try to clarify.
Realization dawns on his face. You can practically see the times the two of you have been near each other flash in his mind’s eye before his face falls into a pout. You can’t help but giggle at his pouty face, which draws his attention to you again, and he pouts harder. 
“I am sorry, Alpha,” you say, then clear your throat. “I, ah, thought that there might be a certain way a Prime Alpha or a wolf may need to scent. I am still wrapping my head around all the different ways. As a Luna of my pack, I typically scent the others.”
“Wolf scenting wrist and licks,” Alpha Joon says, looking down at his own wrists.
“Oh! Jin licked me!” you exclaim. “Well, he licked then bit me,” you continued, looking at the inside of your wrist to see if there was a mark. 
Rubbing over the area where Seokjin licked fills the air with more of your scent. The bergamot is still present but lessened, alerting Alpha Joon that you are starting to relax into the present. 
Moving slowly, telegraphing his goal, Alpha Joon takes hold of the hand you were inspecting. He rubs your wrists together with his free hand, causing his leather and vanilla to join in the mix. 
He can tell when his scent hits you because your whole body loses its tension. The hand he is holding becomes weightier in his grip. A soft smile plays on his lips with pride that you are not rejecting his skinship, scent, or bond as he says, “Wolves satisfied with this. Alphas need more. It’s our nature.”
“Alphas? Or Prime Alphas?” You swallow before also asking, “More how?”
His eyes trail up your arm, and it feels like fire is licking your skin. They still at the juncture of your neck and shoulder before continuing, pausing along your jaw, then settling their journey when they lock with yours.
“Alphas prefer other areas. Only ours allow intimate,” says Alpha Joon.
Heat flashes through your body and pools low in your abdomen with the memory of Alpha Kook and his ministrations to your neck. 
Breaking eye contact, you blush as you say, “I see. It makes sense.”
“Prime Alpha, more demanding. Addthreat of taking mine,” Alpha Joon growls out. 
Your eyes snap back to him with a furrowed brow as you question, “Taken from you? No one in their right mind would do that right now, would they?”
“Bobcat, try tonight,” says Alpha Joon, his voice dripping with a possessive tone.
Oh. OH, that is right. This whole scenting thing was because Lee Min Ho danced with you. You mentally smack your forehead against a wall. 
“Min Ho, he would not actually do anything. He was being a good sport and dancing with me,” you try to brush off his concern.
“No,” he says sternly. “Friends with Tae-ah… must be nice. Bobcat natural wolf enemy.”
This information, combined with the newly understood gravity of the game Lee Min Ho was playing with Namjoon while using you as the pawn, changes everything. 
Your scent changes from the bergamot of fear to the mint of anger, distinguished by the look on your face and the clench of your jaw. 
“Mad now?” Alpha Joon says, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. The change in your demeanor shows him that you, at best, want to be his and, at least, don't want others to play around like that.
“Yes, I am mad now. How can someone do that to you?” you say with an attitude-driven shake of your head.
Your response wasn’t what he was expecting. He wasn’t quite sure how to take it. He wanted to be proud because his newest mate was looking out for him, but she wasn’t necessarily looking out for herself.
“Wonder what Taehyung will think of his friend’s actions. I don’t think he will like them, but that is to be dealt with later,” you say with resolve. 
Looking back at the man beside you, the resolve shows as your scent changes, yet again, with a hint of lemon: “What do you need to fix what he has done?”
His eyes are still set on your form, and he says, “Cover.”
“Cover? I thought you said he didn’t leave anything?” you press, leaning forward, trying to figure out what he needs to feel like his personal world is safe again. “Tell me, Alpha. What exactly will you cover?”
The direct question of a dominant feeling mate has Alpha Joon squirming a little. 
He wants to put you in your place as Prime Alpha, show you, and not tell you what he needs. He also wants to kneel at your feet and let you lean into your Luna so that he can let go of the tension he is holding because he trusts you to care for him—the dominant leader versus the submissive lover.
Maybe he can be both?
“Cover his touch,” Alpha Joon clarifies. A flash of shock or fear or nerves flash across your face as he continues, “I saw some, not all.”
“Oh, I see.” Thinking of all the places the sneaky bobcat touched, your hand pulls out of Alph Joon’s as you say, “That is going to be hard to do in a car. That and you don’t know how to tango, Alpha.”
Quickly, Alpha Joon shakes his head, “No dancing. Only scenting touch.” He looks around the back of the car, thinking of how to put what he has to say.
“Dress scented at Gala,” he says with a slight hilt to his voice. You nod, trying to follow along with him. 
His eyes flick between your neck and thigh, “Now skin scent happens.”
It’s like you get doused with water and lit on fire simultaneously. Touching like one does in the Tango feels astronomically different when the same touch is done while not dancing. There is no way that you will not vibrate out of your skin and panic if Alpha Joon continues to look at you like prey while touching you in all the places Lee Min Ho did. 
You will lose yourself and not in a good way. 
What did your therapist Ryan say to do when this happens? What would Derek and Evie say to do?
Control it. Take the reins and drive the motions. Find ways to grant permission for the next step, next touch, and next level of scenting, but will a Prime Alpha accept that? 
Can you control a Prime Alpha?
“Overthinking,” Alpha Joon interrupts your thoughts. 
“Sorry, Alpha,” you quickly say.
Taking a breath, you calm your thoughts and focus on the you who can be in charge of hybrids. The you that allows your family pack to feel safe and cared for. The you that loves hybrids more than most humans. 
“Luna,” Alpha Joon states when your sweet pea, bergamot, and vanilla scent starts to weave in the car with a more pungent tang of lemon. 
“Yes, you may call me that. I won’t go back on my word. I will allow you, Alpha Joon, to calm yourself and settle your instincts by scenting my skin,” you inform him.
Smiling, the Alpha makes to pull you to him. However, you stop him with a single click of your tongue. Unbuckling yourself, you unclasp your cape, then angle your body toward him and settle your gaze on him, “Do we have an understanding, Alpha Joon? If not, you will have to wait until the pack can help settle you.”
Shaking his head almost violently, his eyes widen in panic at the thought of you not being the one to settle him. Rubbing his palms on his pants, he looks away from your eyes and turns slightly to show his neck. 
He is submitting to you. It's not a complete submission. Still, it’s a step that makes you feel safe and allows you to be bold enough to keep going. Taking his hands in yours, you squeeze them in reassurance.
Shifting to the middle seat, the split in your dress widens. Flashing skin from your mid-thigh down, which draws his attention. It’s the same leg, the thigh and knee, where the bobcat hybrid held you in the dip as he trailed his nose along your skin at the neck.
“Eyes on me, Alpha,” you command, snapping his attention back to your face. 
“Min Ho held me in a classic hold, starting with a hand on my upper back while cradling my braced hand in his,” you inform as you slide your hand up his arm to his shoulder. “You may hold me that way as well.”
You had thought the Alpha would jump with permission to touch you. This is where you were mistaken. You may be calling the shots, but he was and is a Prime Alpha. 
Changing his grip on your braced wrist, he brings it up like he remembered from watching you. Slowly, his other hand reaches your side and slides around your waist to trail up your spine, then rests between your shoulder blades. The movement brings your body closer to him. 
You wait.
Nothing happens.
You smile gently. “Good Alpha, you are following directions,” you praise him before you lean forward, entering his personal space even more. 
“Classic Tango steps don’t have as much body contact as one would think. It’s all about flashy steps with kicks and flicks. But Lee Min Ho told me he was putting on a show, which changes things.”
Alpha Joon's face is full of confusion as he tries to hold you just as instructed, but you keep coming closer. Your scent is invading. Mixing his scent with yours settles something profound within Alpha Joon’s soul. 
The words ‘keep in control’ repeat in your mind, almost creating their own tune as you try to maneuver yourself into the next hold used by the bobcat hybrid. As you lean in, you run your arm back down Alpha Joon’s and push it against the seat's backrest.
“Don’t move,” you instruct him.
“Yes, Luna,” he agrees, hinting a slight rumble. You pause momentarily, waiting to see if that rumble becomes something more. You continue when nothing happens, and his eyes remain on your face. 
Shifting to an angle facing you away from him, a whimper sounds but is cut off quickly. Glancing back up at the Alpha, his cheeks are dusted pink. It seems the Prime Alpha shocked himself with that sound.  
Now, you are sitting with your back to his front but not touching. You clasp his free hand in yours and lock your fingers with his. Your braced hand grabs the wrist resting against the seat and guides it to your stomach. 
Thank heavens that he cannot see your face now. Maintaining your posture is one thing, but not reacting to the heat emanating from him while his hand softly glides into place over your dress is not something you can control. 
It feels nerve-racking but in the best of ways. Wait…what is going on with you? You shouldn’t be reacting like this. He is mated. You didn’t act like this with Jin, did you? 
You know what it is… it’s because of this morning. That’s right, with the shirtlessness, the feeding, the nesting room, all the suits… it’s that. 
There is nothing wrong with you. 
Nada.
You just happen to be stuck in a packhouse with wildly attractive younger hybrid men who know they can make almost every woman, even some men, creme their jeans with a savvy smile. They are just flirty, like Derek and Lily. That’s all.
“Wrong,” a deep voice comes close to your ear as you are pulled backward, making your body fall against the wolf behind you and stealing your breath. “Hold like this, he did.”
“Yes, that is correct, Alpha Joon,” you agree with your eyes closed. His firm chest against your back has a warmth that is encompassing you. Your control of the situation is slipping; maybe you never had control in the first place. 
“Next touch, Luna?” he asks with his breath brushing your skin. 
Right next touch… next touch… what was next. Oh. Your eyes open and dart to your knee. Min Ho took you into a dip with his hand on your thigh near your knee. Well, there are two ways to do this. Robotically and cold or intimately and warm. Again, it’s about keeping control.
“I don’t know, Alpha. Can you be good and follow directions, or will you move Luna as you wish, like you just did?” you question.
Almost immediately, Alpha Joon tries to retreat but has nowhere to go. You are still holding his wrist and interlacing your fingers. He has become trapped between you and the door. 
“Ah, uhah! Words, Alpha Joon,” you chide softly.
“Sorry, Luna,” the trapped Alpha says. “No more. I will follow.”
“Good, now only touch where I guide you, got it?” you ask to get the extra reassurance that you are again back in some semblance of control.
“Yes, Luna,” agrees the wolf hybrid.
Leaning against him more, you bring your knee up through the slit in the dress. Breathe in and out, staying in control. Covering the hand on your stomach with your braced hand, you tap it twice and move back towards your waist. You smile when his hand moves to stay under yours. 
Once at your waist, you slide both of your hands down to your hip and over the top of your thigh– slowly. Basking in the warmth of his hand over the dress felt terrific, but you practically melted when the heat of his hand graced your bare skin. 
Your body automatically responds with a blanket of goosebumps and a pool of dampness between your legs. It’s tantalizing and something you haven’t felt in years. 
Behind you, a soft, almost growling purr kicks up in Alpha Joon’s chest at being able to feel you without a barrier. 
You continue to guide his hand to the bend of your knee, and as firmly as you can, you say, “Min Ho sent me into a dip and secured me by holding my thigh near my knee.”
In a gravel-filled voice, Alpha Joon says, “I saw. May I?”
“Yes,” you say, a bit breathier than you would have wanted.
Keeping at the pace you had set, Alpha Joon’s hand slides out from under yours, farther down your leg, and to the outer side. His fingers are splayed out as they clasp under your thigh at the back of your knee and squeeze. 
You, luckily, were able to control your body from jerking at the electric zing of arousal that courses through your system like his is cupping and squeezing something much more private. 
However, luckily for the hybrid behind you, your scent flashed into a heady mix of sugar, sweet peas, and vanilla. If Alpha Joon hadn’t already been affected by the scenting up to this point, he was now. His mind reeling with thoughts of what you would smell like on a night of passion.
Buzz Buzz
A huff leaves the Alpha as he answers the intercom from Jen, “Yes, Jen?”
“Sorry to interrupt, Prime Alpha, but we have been sitting at the packhouse for a few minutes,” she says timidly. Clearing her throat, she said, “I don’t know if you wanted the others to know you are here. However, someone keeps peeking out one of the windows.”
“Thank you, Jen. We will head inside now,” Alpha Joon informs her, releasing his hold on your leg and letting go of your hand. A blush comes over you as you realize just how into the moment the two of you had become.
Alpha Joon exits the car as you return to your original side and put on the cape again. As you are reaching for the door, it opens. You smile at the gentlemanly act Alpha Joon is showing you.
Getting out of the car, you accept his hand to help you keep steady. Smiling, you turn to thank him, “Oh. Namjoon, Thank you. I take it Alpha Joon was satisfied with the scent and stopped fronting?”
Pulling you softly and guiding your hand to lock around his arm, he leads you towards the pack house. Shaking his head, he says, “Not exactly. We are in our territory now, and no one can take you from us here.”
“Ah, I see. I am sorry the scenting wasn’t enough. I promise I will learn more to improve,” you rapidly reply, your heart sinking at the thought that you failed to comfort the Prime Alpha. 
He stops at the front door, your words halting him. “You misunderstand, Angel. You were scenting and allowed our scenting just fine. However, due to arriving at the packhouse already, we could not complete the covering, and he, well we, didn’t think you would be comfortable enough to continue.”
“Couldn’t complete?” you question as you try to replay the dance. Your eyes widen when it hits you: “My neck. Wait. Why would I not be comfortable after the whole car ride?”
“The packhouse is where it went downhill, and I could have lost you. I could have lost you for the pack. I don’t deserve your attention here, Luna,” answers Namjoon, not once looking at you during his explanation. 
He is avoiding being himself because of that one misstep. You still haven’t forgiven him… entirely… but you aren’t mean-hearted. It may take a while for you to be comfortable with him regarding unannounced scenting sessions or the random hugs that some others do, but it is planned right now.
“I umm… I know you are one and the same, so he is always there, and I don’t know if this is possible, but can I talk to Alpha Joon, please?” you ask tentatively, trying to regain his attention.
He finally looks at you, his eyes curious and cautious. Slowly, they bleed from the outside in with the forest green of Namjoon’s hybrid side. 
“Hello again, Alpha Joon. Your presence has been frequent tonight, and I am glad you fronted at my request. Thank you, Alpha,” you begin, trying to convey that you are in a good mindset and not panicking or upset. He nods; his curiosity and nervousness are evident in his face and body tension. 
“I may not be happy with how my position was proposed, but I will not let that affect your ability to be who you are– the Prime Alpha Wolf-Hybrid of Bangtan Pack.” 
He shakes his head, starting to deny that any further action is required when you step closer. You tilt your head to the side and back, barring the area that Lee Min Ho had traced.  You watch his attention drop to your neck from the corner of your eye, and a sneer flashes on his face before he closes his eyes to collect himself.
You will for whatever calming, reassuring scent you have to push out, not that you even know what you are doing. Softly asking, “Please finish, Prime Alpha.”
Unknown to you, your scent follows your wishes as the vanilla of the mate bond blooms with your sweet pea. It washes over the Prime Alpha as your bond solidifies more. His vanilla and leather respond in kind and blanket you. For a moment, you both bask in the scents surrounding you. The natural reaction of being near one’s fated mate unfurls. 
Driving on almost pure instinct, Alpha Joon closes the gap. His warm, large hands grip your waist and hold you in place. His eyes are sharply watching each and every micro-expression on your profile.
It was like your brain went offline the second you became physically connected. Your arms find their place around his shoulders, sinking your good hand into the locks of silky hair at the base of his neck. Your body tingles at the feel of your front pressed with his, making every breath like a soft caress. 
The soft puff of breath on your jawline causes you to pause. The first touch of his lips on your skin releases you from your hold. His soft, measured kisses trailing your jaw to the base of your ear feel like nothing you have felt before. 
Somewhere in your mind, alarm bells go off because this feels like more than just a scenting session. The rest of you, the part with the control now, is letting go and basking in the moment.  It feels like so much, but not enough at the same time.
A gentle flick of his tongue on your earlobe triggers a shiver down your spine and a soft, almost inaudible but needy sound to escape you. 
Whispering in your ear, Alpha Joon says, “I have you, Luna. Always will.”
Those simple words feel like a world of promises. 
Adjusting his hold on you, one hand going to the back of your head to angle you into a deeper bend while the other is securing you around the waist, Alpha Joon continues his scenting of your neck. 
His plush lips feel like feathers gliding along tantalizingly. Warm and playful kisses leave a trail of embers in tandem. Nothing lasts as every movement, marking, and pressure point is brief. 
Your mind battles between wanting to stop before you go too far, angering his bonded mates, and needing something more but what you don’t know. You are in uncharted territory now. Scenting your family pack NEVER felt like this. Hell, making out with Eric never felt like this. 
“Alpha,” you whine, not entirely sure you know what you are whining for.
THUD
Muffled scuffling is heard with pained noises and an “Ow, that was my tail!”
It’s like a bucket of ice gets poured over you, snapping your senses back into reality. The once comforting and secure hold you were relaxed into becomes a cage. The lingering feel of his kisses now burns like a hot branding iron. Within seconds, your skin pales, and your scent disappears. 
Looking up at Alpha Joon, you see him glaring at the door. Taking advantage of his distraction, you push out of his hold. Stumbling back against the front door. Even more scampering is heard, along with a few colorful words, as your unknown audience races to hide somewhere inside the pack house.
His glare softens as he looks at you; his jaw is still set, and his fists are clenched at his sides. As the seconds pass, it registers with the Alpha that you have closed off everything. Silently, he curses whoever was just behind the door.
“Y/n,” he says, stepping forward, unclenching his hands, and reaching for yours. His eyes blend back to their deep brown as he scrambles to find a way to fix this.
“Thank you for tonight, Alpha. It seems your mates are waiting for you,” you say. Taking one last look at the man who stole your inhibitions and released the ardor you thought you had lost, you grab the door handle. Bowing, you feel your heart clench, and your throat tighten as you whisper, “Good night, Namjoon.” 
Before he can say anything or do anything, you are inside the packhouse and in your room. You close the door with a slam and fall against it. 
For the first time in forever, you allow yourself to cry. No, not cry, but weep. Weep for what you don’t know. Was it getting caught with Namjoon? Was it for falling out of a position of control? Was it for the child you lost? Was it for every heartbreak you have experienced?
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The packhouse is silent.
You know the pack must have heard you, but you don’t have enough left to acknowledge that right now. With stiff limbs, you stand up and make your way to the bathroom, taking off your heels along the way and leaving them wherever they land. Your earrings end up on the bathroom counter, at least. 
Getting ready for bed, washing your face, and the rest of the routine are robotic. Walking back into the bedroom, you make to climb into your bed, but what you see stops you in your tracks. There is a carefully made nest against the wall– Jimin. 
He mentioned that he might make a nest for you to come home to. You sit on the edge of the mattress to observe the time and attention that went into making it. The center is filled with pillows of different sizes. The wall is covered with even more to protect you from its hardness. You note the intricate weaving of blankets around the edge in seven colors. 
It’s a clear representation of their mate-bonded pack. It’s perfect, just like they are. Crawling in the middle of it will ruin it. 
You already have ruined enough tonight. 
Looking around the room, you decided to sleep in the sitting window. Curling into yourself, making yourself as small as you can, you cry again, but this time, the sobs are silent, and the tears are dry.
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Constant commentary flowed as they watched others on the carpet before the two of you were first spotted. The world seems to slow once they see you– their newest mate. You looked every bit the perfect mate they knew you were. 
You were wise with your choice of words. You knew when to speak up or let Namjoon guide the conversation. Your smile and giggles made each one wish they were with you instead of their Prime Alpha. 
It wasn’t left unnoticed how you seemed to charm everyone, gaining flirtatious comments from interviewers and even the occasional unwarranted extended hugs from other stars. How Namjoon kept his cool was beyond everyone else. 
Maybe it was a good idea that he was the only one there. 
Taehyung was already making a mental list of all the people to disregard in future interviews for disrespecting their claim on you. He wasn’t the only one. As a pack of Alphas, it was nearly impossible for them not to want to bite off anyone’s hand that touched you. 
“She is doing really well,” comments Hoseok. He was worried the most because of your insecurities about being photographed. Having experienced self-image issues in the past, he knows how hard they are to deal with.
“I think her team was constructive with that aspect. They made getting ready for this event so much fun for her,” Yoongi says. 
Jungkook nods in agreement, “They were talking about trying to find a way to make Bethany Ann’s team her permanent prep team for events and such.”
“Really? She liked them that much?” asked Seokjin, grabbing his phone and texting Manager Sejin to demand this assignment happen ASAP if it hasn’t happened already.
“Yeah. How long do you think they will be there? Joonie-ah normally only stays long enough to let everyone know he was there and then comes home,” Yoongi asks.
A chorus of replies came, all pointing out the same fact– no one had a clue. 
This prompted Jimin to bolt out of Hoseok’s arm, yelling as he went, “Everyone, get me a heavily scented blanket and whatever pillow you want Y/n to have in her nest!”
Confusion fell over most of the remaining pack. Taehyung and Jungkook were the only ones to get up as if they knew what was happening.
“Jinnie-hyung, can you grab the stuff in the dryer?” asked the youngest mate.
“Sure, as soon as you tell me what Jimin is doing with Y/n’s nest,” responded Seokjin, as everyone stopped moving to listen. 
Looking around, Jungkook could see that the hyung line was all clueless. “Oh, Y/n was breaking down her nest this morning and wanted to return our items because it didn’t feel right anymore.”
Yoongi moved forward, asking, “What do you mean to return them? She doesn’t want our scents?”
“Nooo, that isn’t it. She… her mom wouldn’t let her keep up her ‘blanket fort,’” he said, using air quotes. “So, she was tearing it down at 7 am. Tae Tae-hyung and Jimin-hyung, we all talked to her about it. Turns out, she was giving it back because she thought they needed to be cleaned and didn’t smell right.”
“But what is Jimin doing?” prompts Seokjin, still looking for the answer to his question.
Bouncing on his feet, Jungkook says, “She said Jimin could build her a proper nest to come home to because she might be too worn out to make it herself.”
A mixture of shock and giddiness spread across the rooms, followed by chaos. Everyone was practically running upstairs to find and scent the perfect blanket. Seokjin got the drying and called everyone to get what was theirs. 
Meanwhile, Jimin took the regular bedding down to your den and started getting to work. It was typical for Jimin to take the lead on making the nests for the pack, but what wasn’t expected was for Jimin to prevent anyone from helping. Anytime one of his mates came near the bed, Jimin would growl. 
“Jimin-hyung, I was the one who figured it out in the first place. I can be here and help,” whined Jungkook. 
Jungkook had heard your restlessness the first night and fixed it with little help. By all means, Jungkook was now the Alpha responsible for ensuring your sleeping needs were being met. 
With a deep growl, Jimin refused to let him come any closer. By now, Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok had all gathered to watch the exchange. Curiosity peaked at the unusual behavior of their normally docile tiny mate. 
“Jimin-ah, Kookie is right. His Alpha has taken this responsibility, and you really shouldn’t deny it,” Yoongi says, trying to inject some logic into this situation. 
The increased intensity of Jimin’s growl was unexpected. Not only was growling difficult for a Red Panda hybrid to make, but it was also typically saved for dangerous situations. The room fell silent, aside from Jimin, and the Alphas stepped back. None of them wanted to challenge Jimin regarding his drive to make a nest for their new mate, but his actions were not welcomed or appropriate as far as the rest were concerned. 
After a stalemate of what to do, a bouncing Taehyung joined them. “Hey, are we gonna keep… What’s going on here?” asked the tiger as he took in the tenseness of the room. It is clear to him that it’s everyone against Jimin right now, but why?
“Hyung won’t let me help get Y/n’s bed ready when she comes home to sleep. It’s my area to care for,” whines Jungkook, his ears drooping low with sadness. 
Walking into the room further, Jimin’s growl lessens as his attention is now on the tiger, but it still hasn’t completely gone away. Raising his eyebrow at Jimin, Taehyung sees that the nest isn’t complete, and Jungkook still holds his scented blanket.
“I think you guys are getting it wrong,” comments Taehyung, turning his back to Jimin and pulling everyone else’s attention. “Hoseok-hyung, you were there when Y/n agreed to build a nest for her. What did you offer?”
Scrunching his brow, Hoseok answers, “I said we could replace what she needed, and Jimin could build her a nest.”
Taehyung waits to see if they catch on, but when seconds go by and no one connects the dots, he says, “You offered her a nest built by Jimin. Only Jimin. She said she would love to come home to a nest built by Jimin.”
“It’s a charge,” says Seokjin with understanding. “Jimin is charged with making a nest for Y/n before she gets home. Jungkook, give Jimin the blanket, and then we all need to leave.”
Thumping his foot in protest, the bunny hybrid whines, “Buuut Hyung…”
“No. This isn’t about sleeping. It’s about a nest. Jimin has always been responsible for the pack’s nest, and that won’t stop now,” corrects Seokjin.
“Wait, Jungkook, look at the nest Jimin is building. Is there anything you or Jimin think the nest could need more of to help provide a proper nest and comfort for sleeping?” offers Yoongi.
Jimin and Jungkook take in the nest as the youngest hands over his blanket, taking in the number of blankets and pillows. Jimin starts to weave the new blanket into the rest around the edge. 
“Namjoon’s scent is not as strong as the rest of ours,” says Jungkook. Looking at Jimin, he waits for his thoughts on the comment to which Jimin starts counting. After double-checking that he is only counting six blankets, Jimin nods at Jungkook.
“Will you be okay if I got you his blanket and maybe another pillow of his for the nest you are making for Y/n, Jimin-hyung?” tentatively asks the youngest Alpha. 
Jimin makes a squeaking noise as he undoes the nest wall to make it better once the Prime Alpha’s blanket is brought down. Noticing that no one has moved, he jumps off the bed and pushes everyone out. His antics are met with laughing and teasing by the hyungs.
It takes Jungkook and Jimin almost two hours to complete the nest. Well, actually, it takes Jimin two hours to make it while Jungkook turns into his personal errand boy. Jungkook has been sent to have different mates at more scent to items or change it out for something different because it feels wrong.
All of the mates don’t complain or argue about the requests. They are grateful that their Jiminnie is slowly returning to himself, and their new mate is the only one to thank for this change.
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Seokjin, having already had a date with you, retired for the night. He had seen you in a dress, felt your skin against his, and basked in your body's heat.  While he would love to experience those all again, he would be patient and wait his turn.
That patience was nowhere to be found in Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung. Each of them took turns checking the driveway for some indication that you were almost here. When the car had pulled up, the three of them were practically glued to the window. 
It wasn’t until Yoongi yelled at them to stop being creepy and wait for you to make it inside the door that they stopped their window-watching. Chuckling at their actions, Yoongi and Jungkook left them to bombard you as they also turned in for the night. 
However, when some time passed, and you both were not in their presence, they grew restless again. Using their hybrid skills of being sneaky and light-footed, Hoseok and Taehyung make it to the door. Leaning against the door, they catch the conversation on the other side. 
Doing their best to tamp down their scents and not interrupt, the two of them listen to the rustle of clothes, the sounds of increased breathing, soft and uncontrollable moans of desire, and the smell of an intimate scenting session. 
They are giddy at their Prime Alpha's progress with the newest mate. Taehyung’s tail curled and uncurled on the floor in anticipation of being able to elicit the same reactions from you. 
THUD
A sharp pain flies up Taehyung’s tail as he hisses, turning around to see that Jimin, in all his clumsiness, has fallen off the hall bench and landed on Taehyung’s tail, crushing it with his knee. Jimin freezes while Hoseok scrambles from the door and hurdles upstairs, taking multiple steps at a time. 
“Ow, that was my tail!” Taehyung screeches. 
THUMP
The front door rattles.
“Shit. 빨리 가다,” bitingly says Taehyung, pulling Jimin along the way, who is whispering apologies the whole way. Meanwhile, Tae curses in every language he knows because he caught you turning off your scent.
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Namjoon scent could be smelled down the hall. It was a mix of anger, annoyance, lust, and despair. Your scent was nowhere to be found. Jimin had tried to find comfort with Hoseok, but he only said to wait till the morning to see what repairs were needed. 
That wasn’t acceptable.
He tried to peek into Jungkook’s bedroom to see if he knew what to do, but the youngest Alpha was nowhere to be found. Jimin went to your den’s door to see if he could hear anything. Maybe if he knew you were slumbering away, he could calm down. However, he did not hear the even, slow breaths of someone sleeping. It was the staccato breaths and sniffles of someone crying. How did he not hear them until now? 
Were you a master of hiding your tears as well as your scent?
What does he do now?
With how the shadows moved along the bottom of the door, Jimin knew you were leaning against it. He couldn’t open it, or he would hit you. Did you want someone to come and comfort you? 
Why had you just crumpled at the door? 
Did Taehyung and his actions at the door bother you that much? 
Not knowing how to make anything better but unwilling to leave you alone, Jimin sat against the wall next to your door. He sends out his calming orange scent with a hint of vanilla, hoping it will slow your tears. 
He is reserved to stay there all night if he has to.
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Should he knock now? 
What are you doing?
Will you finally seek comfort in the nest he carefully made for you?
After hearing the sounds of water and more rustling of clothes, Jimin realizes that you are getting ready for bed. You shuffle around the room for a moment. Then he can hear you get on the bed… wait, you walk again.
Where are you going?
What’s on the other side of the room?
At the sound of your renewed staccato breathing far away from his nest, Jimin joins you in your silent cries from the hallway. Thoughts of failing to build a proper nest, thoughts of ruining things for you with Namjoon, and thoughts of you rejecting the mate bond taunt him behind your closed door. 
He will fix this. 
He will be the first mate you see when you wake up. He will find out what is wrong and correct it. He has to, and he will make Tae help.
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“Of course, Mama. I won’t make it again,” you say with tears in your eyes.
“You are just an attention whore,” a male voice says.
You shake your head, “No, no! I thought if I did it… I just wanted you to like me.”
Another female voice sounds off. “He only keeps you around because you are easier and warmer than a blow-up doll. " 
Wiping off your face from the lunch they just dumped on you, the sounds of the cafeteria’s laughter making you dizzy. “He said he loved me.”
“Just act like a normal human being, Y/n. Then maybe you won’t be so pathetic,” the older woman says, pulling you by your hair and throwing you in the closet. “Now, stay there and reflect. Don’t you ever tell a soul.”
“Meemaw! No, let me out, please! Don’t leave me here!” Your cries go unanswered for days, all because you cuddled on the couch with Evie and three of her brothers in a Kitty pile.
“Why would I want a child with you? I’d rather you die.” Eric’s voice goes on repeat.
That’s when the pain starts. 
You feel the slaps across your face, the kicking of your stomach, the snapping of your ankle, your lungs filling with water, and the never-ending feeling of falling down the stairs.
“Y/n!” You hear your voice being called and know that more torment is coming. Your body starts to shake.
“Y/n, baby, 내꺼. Please, wake up. Naekkeo,” a pleading voice breaks through the hazy of the nightmare you are having. 
Still being shaken by someone’s hands, you sit up like a shot, and panic that you are going to get hurt floods your system. Your eyes are wide, unseeing of what is around you, causing your eyes to dart around the room, looking for danger. It isn’t until hands hold your face and force you to look at the person sitting next to you. You see Jimin with worry, pain, and so much more etched on his face. 
“Y/n, Naekkeo, you are safe at the packhouse. I have you,” he says gently but with surety. His eyes never leave yours, the orange and vanilla scent falling over you like a blanket. 
“Ji..Jimin?” you clarify, grabbing his hands to ensure he is real. Tears falling again, you launch yourself into his arms. “Jimin, it was a nightmare, right?”
Caught off by suddenly having his new mate in his arms, he is lucky that the instinct to protect you is so strong, or both of you might have ended up on the floor. Scooting to sit correctly in the window seat, he pulls you into a more secure hold. Wrapping his arms around your trembling form, he puts your head on his shoulder and rocks slowly.
“Yes, Naekkeo. It was all a nightmare. You’re not hurt,” Jimin reaffirms by pulling you a faction closer. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble against his neck as tears wet his pajama shirt. 
“No, nightmares are not something to be sorry about. Something causes them to happen, and it is beyond your control. Do you have them often?” he asks.
“Not really. I haven’t had them in a while, but they still come,” you answer. “They usually last a lot longer than this.”
“Not anymore. We won’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.” He hears you take a breath to say something, but he cuts you off, saying, “Don’t worry about us missing out on sleep or something like that. We will lose more sleep if you know you are going through this without us helping you.”
He feels you relax more in his hold. Brushing your hair out of your eyes, Jimin looks at you again with a soft smile. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You shake your head and clarify, “I think I should tell Bangtan pack together. I already explained some to Namjoon, but…”
“You only want to say it once,” Jimin finishes your sentence. “Makes sense, but can I ask you a question?”
Sitting up more and attempting to pull slightly out of his hold only gets you held in place firmer. Surprisingly, you don’t feel the need to tense up. Instead, it warms your soul that your nightmares aren’t detouring him and that he still wants to be the friend he promised initially. 
“What is your question?” you prompt.
You see his eyes flick up and then back down to you, his eyes distant, like he is trying to find the right words. A moment later, he looks you dead in the eye, alerting your mind, and asks, “Why did you not sleep in the nest I made for you?”
“The nest?” you asked, still slightly out of it because of the nightmares.
Timidly, Jimin bites his bottom lip and nods to the bed, “Did I not make it well enough?”
Glancing to the bed, you see the nest again. It’s then your scent comes crashing back. Your sweet pea is slightly moldy, hinting at perfume tones and a splash of bergamot.
Jimin instantly sends soothing scents and rubs your back, saying, “It’s okay if you don’t like it. Everyone likes them in different ways.”
“It’s not that, Jimin. It’s lovely,” you say looking back at the Alpha holding you with a smile filled with sadness and longing. “It’s perfect. I didn’t want to ruin it.”
Confusion fills Jimin’s face, looking between you and the bed. His mouth opens and closes like a fish before he huffs. Without another thought, Jimin stands, cradling you to his chest, one arm across your back and the other hooking under your knees.
“Jimin! Jimin, put me down. I weigh like 1,000 pounds,” you say in high-pitched but hushed tones, trying not to wake up the rest of the house. 
It's like your mind wants to get out of his grasp, but your body never wants to let go, which is why you have a vice grip on his shoulders despite your words.  
A soft but low growl comes from him. Looking down at you, with a now deadpan face, he says, “I am an Alpha. I was made to pick you up no matter what. How would I be able to protect, hold, and comfort you if I couldn’t?”
Stilling in his arms, you take in the feeling of his engaged but not straining shoulder under your grip. Finally, he starts walking again towards the nest. You watch his face in slightly shocked awe. There is no trembling, no sweat on his brown, no indication that you are too much for him. You are dropped inside the nest before you can question and unpack this new information.
“Jimin,” you whine, only for him to sit outside and level you with a firm look.
“I made this for you. Jungkook helped a little, but each Bangtan packmate contributed a blanket and at least one pillow to add to your nest. Do you want to know why?” asked the red panda hybrid.
Still, in a semi-balled-up fetal position, you are covered in a multitude of scents. You want to know, but you don’t, “Jimin, thank you for making this, but I think… I think…”
“You think we are taking it too far? Think that if you start accepting your situation more, we will hurt you like others in your past?” he questions.
Breaking eye contact, you look at the woven blanket wall of the nest again. Finally, you answer his question, saying, “The seven of you are so tightly woven together that the world knows who all of you are. Most people who dislike K-pop will at least have some idea of who BTS is. I don’t want to ruin anything.”
A chuckle comes from the red panda, “You won’t. It’s impossible.”
Now it's your turn to chuckle: “Oh yeah, sure, that is why you guys had a whole new contract written up. If I were a regular Playmate, I could see you saying that, but…”
“But you are not,” Jimin cuts you off. “That is why nothing will be ruined.” He scoots closer to the wall of the nest and tilts his head, asking, “May I come in? I want to see something.”
You glance at him before looking around again, noting that the nest he made is, technically, big enough for at least one, maybe two more people.
“You can say no. You can say no to all of us. You could have said no to Namjoon-hyung tonight as well,” Jimin states again with total seriousness. 
You can say no, but is it improper to say no?
You can say no, but will you always say no?
You can say no, but did you want to say no? 
With the look in Jimin’s eyes, the scents surrounding you from the nest, and the little voice inside your heart, the answer is No. 
No, it's not improper to say no. 
No, you won’t always say no.
No, you want to say yes.
“You can join me,” you say just above a hushed whisper.
Carefully, with his eyes still locked with yours, Jimin carefully climbs over the nest wall and finds space between the nest wall and you. He lays with his back to the door, facing you. 
Once Jimin settles, your body uncurls and relaxes instinctively. Your braced hand finds the hem of his shirt and holds on as you turn to face him. The other hand bounces between resting on your side to the bed, under your head, and back again.
Telegraphing his intention, Jimin clasps his hand around yours and settles it between you. The breath you had unknowingly held releases, and you breathe in the pack again, this time with Jimin's more robust, fresh scent. 
“There she is. My Naekkeo smells like sweet peas and vanilla again,” smiles Jimin. 
You blush this time at the name Naekkeo. It clicks that Jimin is calling you sweetheart in Korean. He had said it before, but you were so panicked from the nightmare that the translation part of your brain was offline. 
“Y/n, I will be as honest as I can with you. Please listen to everything I have to say before you say anything, and know it is okay not to say anything,” Jimin states with a questioning look. 
You snuggle down into the comfort of the nest and nod at the Alpha. Jimin smiles fondly at your actions as he tries to figure out how to tell you enough but not too much.
“Playmates were forced on Bangtan Pack at the beginning,” he reveals. “PD-nim said if we accepted them, the rest of the industry would accept them. It would save the lives of hybrid Idols from turning feral or losing them to suicide.”
You sucked in a harsh breath but kept quiet, letting him continue.
Swallowing, he says, “We didn’t say no. We didn’t think we could. Our first Playmate came with all the bells, whistles, and services included. She got mad when none of us would touch her. None of us wanted to. She repulsed us with her outright desire that stunk up a city block.
“She even tried to use some of those aphrodisiac chocolates on Jungkook-ah. Once Namjoon-hyung found out, it was war. He went after the Playmate’s company, PD-nim, and even threatened to break our contract with Hybe and BigHit.
“After that, all of our Playmates had the contracts you saw. In fact, most of our playmates were homosexual female-identified, which made it easy because, well, we are all males. Contrary to popular belief, even though we are a male mate-bonded pack, most of us still appreciate the female body and have experience with it.”
You giggle at the random fact. You had figured the pack wasn’t opposed to being with either gender after a few of the songs that Lily showed you. Jimin just raised his eyebrow in question, but you waved him to continue.
Pulling your hand to his chest, he continues, “When you came crashing into our lives, everything changed. Yoongi, Jungkook, Seokjin, and I were the first to realize that you were different. It wasn’t long after that the rest understood that, too.
“We wanted you in our lives before your hand got broken. Actually, Yoongi wanted away from all the Playmate scents so badly that he left the observation room to run right into the reason why.”
Pulling your hand up, he kisses the back softly, then looks at you again before clarifying, “You. None of us see you as a Playmate, Y/n. There is a reason why the contract we took on says there is the option to integrate you into the pack. We are just trying to explore what that means during this time.
“At the end of the contract, we all may better understand what has happened or is happening. Then, together, the eight of us will discuss what happens next. Just remember, you always have the right to say no.”
The silence following is not deafening, but it is heavy. 
You were given so much information all at once. Mostly, you wanted to punch their first Playmate while praising Namjoon for being an incredible Prime Alpha and protecting the pack. That is two Playmates now that you understand need a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin’.
Jimin’s words confirmed what Taehyung and Hoseok had said before you signed the contract. He was there then and agreed, but you still had doubts. How much you want to trust them frustrates you, but you question everything you do.
Maybe it’s not them that you don’t trust.
Maybe you don’t trust– you.
God, your brain has too much going on right now. The plethora of information, the adrenaline of the nightmare wearing off, and the comfort of the nest with Jimin makes you sleepy. Stifling a yawn, Jimin chuckles. 
“I have so much to think about now. Thank you for sharing everything, Jimin,” you say. “I think… I think I want to talk to the pack tomorrow if I can. I need to tell them about my nightmares and my ex and let them know what you told me. Maybe we can all clear a few things up.”
The red panda lets out a quiet, pleased series of little barks, and a bright smile graces his face. “I think that is a beautiful idea, but right now, Naekkeo, you need more sleep,” he agrees and moves to get out of the nest, pulling a whine from you.
It shocks both of you. Jimin looked around to ensure he hadn’t knocked over anything in the nest. Meanwhile, you are blushing at the fact that you literally whined at the thought of Jimin leaving you alone in the nest. 
“Naekkeo?” questions Jimin, still frozen in mid-climb.
“I am sorry. I didn’t mean, I shouldn’t,” you blabber.
Turning back to you, Jimin cradles your face, drawing your eyes to his, prompting, “What do you need? You can ask me anything.”
“Can you… can you stay… in the nest… with me?” you hesitantly question. “I mean, you can also say no. Youhaveyourownbedanddonhavetostay.”
“May I answer before you decide for me?” questions Jimin with a soft chuckle.
“Ah yeah, sorry. I tend to keep…” Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you open them again and say, “Yes, sorry.”
“I would be honored to share your nest tonight,” Jimin says with a heart-melting smile, bringing his hand away from your face. “Where do you want me?”
That paused you… Where did you want him?
Looking at where he was, then where you were, you weren’t sure where else he could go besides where he was now. The confusion must have shown either on your face or your scent because Jimin was trying to hold in his laughter.
Glaring at him playfully, you ask, “What is so funny? Who asks that kind of question? You just lay there and sleep. It’s not me to tell you where you will be comfortable.”
“That isn’t what I meant, Y/n. I meant, like, do you want me against the wall or between you and the bedroom door? Under the covers or over the covers? Big spoon, little spoon, no spoon?” Jimin informs you, watching as each option is said and his heart fluttering at the blush that covers your cheeks at the last three options. 
“Ah… well. You are the Alpha and the protector-ish one between us, so maybe you stay between the door and me where you are now. Not that anything would come to get us in the packhouse, but on principle,” you stammer out.
“Alright, Protector-ish Jimin in place,” he says jokingly as he puffs out his chest. “Now over or under?”
Giggling at his actions, you pull the covers from under you. Snuggling in them, you say, “I can’t sleep without a blanket because I get cold easily. Do you?”
Jimin thinks about it for a few seconds. “Well, I do like to sleep with blankets, but I don’t have to sleep that way if it will make you uncomfortable. However, if I sleep under the covers, it will help warm them and, in turn, warm you.”
Your face drops in a flush of heat as you remember Taehyung’s words, ‘I am sure someone would be willing to warm you up,’ and you warm up all on your own.
“Ah well, I do get cold, and Taehyung said that Alphas were good at keeping warm. … you can be under them if you want,” you say timidly.
Nodding slowly, Jimin slips under the covers. His Alpha pushes him to find ways to keep you comfortable. Since you didn’t give a no and didn’t say anything that could indicate you hated the idea, he would do just as you said. Besides, as Protector-ish Jimin, he couldn’t stand the thought of you being cold while he was this close to you.
Watching you, he can tell you are waiting for him to ask about the last part. So he complies, asking, “Big spoon, small spoon, or no spoon, Naekkeo?”
Your eyes drop to the space between the two of you. Your meemaw’s words hit you again, but then the comfort you felt when cuddling with Evie and Derik followed and finished with the security you felt in Jimin’s arms on the sitting window. 
“You can say no spoon, Y/n. I won’t mind,” he says, a gentle reminder that you have a choice.
“I used to be a big cuddler, but I… I don’t do that much anymore,” you admit with sadness in your tone. “Um, typically only with my family pack. Can we just lay like this for now?”
“Of course. I will always respect your wishes,” smiles Jimin. You search his face for a hint of disappointment or anger but find nothing but his smile of contentment. 
You return his smile, which quickly becomes a rather large yawn. Giggling, you snuggle down farther, then reach out and take his hand with yours, asking, “Is this okay?”
“Y/n, I had you in my lap and offered to be any spoon you wanted. I think I am fine with holding your hand while we sleep,” he teases you. 
“You’re right,” you giggle. “Well, so you know, I am a wiggler and a traveler. I have been known to end up with my head down and my feet up. So, if I get too much, you can wake me up or hold me in place until I stop. Or whatnot. Evie always ends up sleeping on my chest to pin me in place.”
“Hmm, I see. Well, if you turn into a human tornado, then I may have to find a way to tie you up,” he says with his eyes closed, completely missing the shocked look on your face. However, he does take note of your scent turning to honey with arousal. 
Jimin thinks of all the ways Hoseok used his kinbaku and shibari skills as a form of meditation, relaxation, and trust-building practice between them. Maybe Hoseok can use them on you and help you in the same way he helped Jimin with his anxiety and trust issues. 
Either way, the imagery of you in intricately knotted silk or hemp rope makes Jimin very happy that you didn’t choose him to be the big spoon right about now.
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onehoplessromantic · 5 months ago
Text
chasing cars chapter 12 addedddd (it made me cry) T-T
MASTERLIST
Jeon Jungkook | Min Yoongi | Lee Minho | Lee Felix | Kim Mingyu | Bang Chan | Kim Namjoon | Jung Hoseok | Choi Seungcheol
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-constantly being updated- <- (that’s a lie)
updated 7/29/2024 [chasing cars chapter 12]
!!authors!! if u want ur work removed plz dm me:)
Helloooo! its been a while hasn’t it? School is dying down so I finally had a chance to update this master list! I have updated the counts and info on fics that were already there and added a bunch more (new idols get hype). another fun new thing is that im going to open my taglist, so whenever i update a new chapter or add a new fic or whatever, whoever wants to will get a notification. all you have to do is just add a note to the post that says “taglist” and ill add u, im trusting that youre over 16. anyways! enjoy the new library of fics!!!
peace 🫶🏻
fluff -> 🤍 | smut -> 🍋 | angst -> 🌧️ | major tw -> ‼️
Jeon Jungkook
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♡ I Want You to Stay | @ahundredtimesover
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PLEASE READ WARNINGS
idiot strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers if you squint, k-drama feels, angst, drama, fluff, smut, sexual themes, power dynamics, anxiety, depictions of assault and aggression [chapter 8] (specific warnings on post)
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♡ For the Birds | @yoonieper
series *ongoing* | current wc: 0 | 🌧️🤍🍋‼️
not started yet but it looks incredible -> teasers coming soon
jungkook x reader
slow burn, lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation! please read with caution!!
♡ how long will we fall | @jiminrings
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jungkook x reader
soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love, a lot of angst, more fluff n wholesome moments, emotional constipation, yearning, jealousy, swearing, redemption arc, ngl jk kinda toxic
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jungkook x reader
rated M (18+) for language, lovers that call themselves friends-with-benefits because jk is a fool, both parties are freaking annoying tbh, smut (fem reader, double lip piercing jk, heavy petting, standing doggy with clothes on, lots of neck making out, light nipple play, lowkey forearm kink), fluff, non-idol!au - jk is wearing the outfit from his 2023.06.29 weverse live
i dont usually recommend smut but this was just too good not to
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oneshot | wc: 25k+ | 🍋🤍🌧️
rich student!jk x (f)rich student!reader
childhood best friends, nepo baby!reader & jk, kth younger sister!reader, heavy pining, language, emotionally constipated characters, miscommunication, toxic/unhealthy friendships, fwb relationship, fighting, blood, alchohol consumption, smut (see fic for full warnings there was way too many to write here)
Min Yoongi
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♡ Countermelody | @bonvoyagenoona
series | wc: ~100k | 🍋🌧️🤍
yoongi x reader
small town enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, smut, humor, producers!yoongi, hobi, namjoon, songwriters!yoongi, hobi, namjoon, musician!reader
♡ Oh! Darling | @yoongiofmine
series | wc: 108k | 🤍🍋🌧️
professor!yoongi x student!reader
fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, university au, mild age gap (emphasis on mild, yn in grad school and yoongi in his early 30s), forbidden romance
♡ Kitsungi | @moni-logues
series | wc: 105k | 🤍🍋🌧️‼️
yoongi x reader
strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non idol!au, angst, smut, eventual fluff ‼️alchohol consumption, yoongi and reader are both depressed, depressive episodes, attempted suicide, toxic relationships (readers ex), jokes about death, death, vomit, self harm, self deprecation, language (specific warnings posted for each chapter)
NOTE: please read the warnings carefully, there is a lot of heavy topics in this read
♡ Grey Area | @blushoseoks
series *ongoing* | current wc: 98,832 | 🌧️🍋
min yoongi x reader
heavy angst, language, alcohol consumption, university au, soulmate au, eventual smut, weed consumption, slow burn, death
♡ Illicit Favors | @yoongiofmine
oneshot | wc: 29k | 🍋🍋🍋
producer!yoongi x author!reader
smut with plot, friends to lovers, smut, more smut, even MORE smut, mutual pining, virgin reader, teaching sex au, this oneshot is amazing plz read it
♡ back-burner | @yoonpobs
series | wc: 95k | 🌧️🍋‼️
yoongi x f!reader
sisters best friend!au, best friend to lovers!au, sorta frenimies?to lovers!au, angst, *slow burn*, smut, fluff, one sided pining (?), longing, sibling jealousy, insecurities, family trauma, explicit language, eventual smut, eventual fluff, MAJOR ANGST, sexual harassment, mentions of poor mental health, alcohol as a coping mechanism, mentions of poor health, neglecting ones health [specific warnings in chapters]
guys this is another decently heavy one with a lot of sensitive topics so make the decision that is best for you while reading this
Kim Mingyu
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♡ Today was (not) a fairytale | @babyleostuff
oneshot | wc: 1.6k | 🌧️🤍
idol!mingyu x fem!reader
established relationship, mingyu forgets your anniversary…
♡ Snowbound | @papermatisse
series *ongoing* | current wc: 17.6k | 🌧️🌧️🌧️
kim mingyu x f!reader
death mentioned/near death experiences, depression, unresolved mourning, cursing, emotional neglect, slight age gap (mingyu is slightly aged up), reader implied to be smaller than mingyu, stranger danger (?), extreme weather (?)
♡ How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread) | @gyuswhore
oneshot | wc: 12.4k | 🌧️🤍
idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader
one sided pining, slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, reader has issues opening up
♡ Hits Different (…’cause it’s you) | @gyuswhore
2-part series | wc: 40k | 🌧️🤍🍋
kim mingyu x reader
based off ‘hits different’ by taylor swift, brothers best friend!au, brother!seokmin, smut (part 2), friends(?) to lovers, university!au, slowburn, mingyus a bit of an airhead and an ass, reader has a hard time managing her feelings, lots of frustrated tears, one sided pining, user toruro x minghao make an appearance, swearing, theres another woman (gasp…..but shes cool so), nayeon is a darling, seungchol is kind of annoying but we love him, smut tags in part 2
♡ Backburner | @spamgyu
series | wc: im not counting loll | 🌧️🤍
seungcheol x reader | mingyu x reader
she had grown tired of being on his backburner, the person that he had kept warm until he gotten the girl he had his eyes set on for years… and with a little help from her friend, maybe… just maybe shell finally be the first choice
♡ sugar and you | @97-liners
oneshot | wc: 4.5k | 🤍
mingyu x reader
in which mingyu is an idealistic pastry chef, and you’re a cynical wedding planner who doesn’t believe in love.
fluff, just really sweet (hah) fluff, one-sided enemies to lovers
♡ back to december | @toruro
oneshot | wc: 4.3k | 🍋🤍🌧️
mingyu x reader
miscommunication, unrequited love (not fr tho), big dick mingyu, sex in a car, riding, fingering, pet names, creampie
guys that was a lot of smit warnings but i promise its not a smut fic just read plz
Lee Minho
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♡ Invisible Thread | @astraystayyh
series | wc: 37k | 🤍🌧️
minho x reader
university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies cuz they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst, poor relationships with parents, insecurities, she/her reader, mention of alcohol
♡ Lost in Translation | @moonjxsung
one-shot | wc: 26.5k | 🤍🌧️🍋
minho x reader
university au, babysitter!reader, older brother!minho, smut, angst, fluff, mention of pregnancy, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), pet names, (see other warnings)
Lee Felix
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♡ forgive me for what i haven’t done | @rachalixie
one-shot | wc: 17.5k | 🤍🌧️
prince!felix x princess!reader
kingdom au, angst, betrayal, strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort, she/her reader, emotional manipulation and physical violence from readers father, mentions of violence
Bang Chan
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♡ Dispatch | @baby-yongbok
oneshot | wc: 1.3k | 🌧️‼️
husband! 911 operator!bang chan x afab!reader
themes of home invasion, mentions of guns, please read responsibly!!!
Chan has heard a lot of calls being a 911 operator but this is never one he wanted to experience.
Kim Namjoon
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♡ My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold | @daechwitatamic
series | wc: 76.3k | 🌧️🍋
KNJ x f!reader, unrequited KTH x reader
college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, slow burn, eventual smut, pov changes, convos revolving around the past loss of immediate family members, language, drinking, angst, a LOT of poetry, eventual smut - sections will have individual warnings
Jung Hoseok
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♡ Flower | @readyplayerhobi
series | wc: 177k | 🤍🌧️🍋‼️
hoseok x reader
depression, anxiety, self-loathing, lack of self-esteem, oral sex (receiving and giving) penetrative sex, fingering, kink exploration, anal, panic attack, discussion of car accidents, mentions of character death, body issues, sex toys, stress, drinking [smut isnt till later in the series btw]
Choi Seungcheol
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♡ Always Only You | @honeyhotteoks
oneshot | wc: 14.2k | 🌧️🍋
s.coups x reader
non idol!seungcheol x fem!reader, older brother mingyu, seungcheol is mingyus bff, childhood friends to lovers, brothers best friend, reader is called a sl*t in a mean way by her shitty date, v protective cheol, reckless driving, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), reader is curvy and descriptors like full, thick, etc are used, makeouts, grinding, cheol is obsessed with pussy, oral sex (f receiving), hand stuff, smut
256 notes · View notes
7brownsuga7 · 8 months ago
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The God who answers after dark ☆ The intro:
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Summary: You used to pray to the Gods after dark before you went to sleep, always thinking that you were praying to the good kind. The kind that showed mercy. However you were mistaken, as time passes and you grew older and wiser it will be revealed that your prayers were answered, but not by the Gods you thought you knew, but the dark kind. The kind that your grandmother used to warn you about. Ones you hear in stories. The kind that you should fear, but how can you when it's all you know. How can you when he was the only one who answered?
Tags&warnings: Jungkookxfemreader, mostly fluff I guess, a bit of smut if you would call it that?!?? age gap I guess?!!? Jungkook is obsessed with reader, a bit delusional. Slight manipulation???! MDNI!!!
Word count: 3k+
Note: making this into a series🫶🏽 this is just a little something that I wrote when I was bored. Be prepared for more obsessive and possessive Jungkook!
Was inspired by the book invisible life of Addie-Larue
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The God who answers after dark ☆ series master list: Here ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
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It was dark.
The night creating shadows in the corner of your room, allowing your imagination to run wild, creating things scary to imagine.
You wasn’t scared though, because you knew it was your imagination. And because you’ve experienced something way darker. You invited him into your home with a simple whisper, let him talk to you throughout the many dark nights, telling him your dreams and wishes of a better life where you are happy and loved.
You was always an imaginative child. While you watched others make friends, you created your own, that grew along with you. Who only came out at night.
You first called upon him when you were only seven. Mindlessly talking to the open air. You had wanted a friend. A friend you could talk to, play with, share secrets with. So you stared off into the dark and talked about nothing and everything. However, when you saw the shadows in the corner of your room move, and sit before you did you realise that you summoned something else. Not a friend, not an imaginary one, something much darker. Still you spoke to it, and it spoke to you like rough winds in the cool night. It comforted you like a cool breeze in a summers heat.
You found comfort in him. You would mindlessly tell him your dreams. He would make empty promises of giving you that dream felt life. Empty, because they came with a price that you were not willing to pay for. Still he would sit beside you and listen to your stories and dreams.
You had asked him what his dreams were and he had told you that he was the son of a God - he had none, but he could grant them within due time. When he himself became a God. So he settled with telling you stories about Gods and wars. Desperate souls and deals. The kind his father spoke to him about, the kind he experienced himself.
Then, he was an angel, the son of a God he refused to speak of. Now, he is a God himself, the God of Darkness. Like the type you’d find deep in a forest, hidden behind the shadows of the trees, infused within the night that covers the sky like a blanket. Comforting to some, suffocating for others.
You was a child who had a lot to wish for and no control of your imagination back then. His company grew on you so much that he was like an accessory to your room. Like a cushion that decorated your bed, a small plant that had a home on your desk, a stack of books that rested in a pile on your bedside table. He felt like home.
The man that would sit before you, appearance created from your imagination - answered you everytime you called on him. He was always there with you. When you looked out of your window at night, when you wrote in your diary about the stories he’d tell you. In your dreams. He was always there.
It was dark.
So you did what you’ve always done when the lights went out, and people lay deep asleep. The night silent and still.
You called for him.
“Yes my love?” He appeared from the dark corner of your room. Once a shadow, now a man that sat before you on your bed. The only bit of light was the shine from the moon and the small warm lamp next to your bed.
You always expect the bed to shift as he sits down, but his weight is like a feather held in one’s palm. Light and weightless. Proof that the form you see before you is none other than what he has stolen from your imagination. His true form something like a stream in the night. Dark and shallow.
His lean body presented in a white button up shirt and black slacks. Very simple, but styled so well. He was always so well presented, dressed so elegantly. You knew that that wasn’t your imagination that created the fine attire, it was simply him, the Darkness who was a charmer, who had lived many years before you. Of course he’d picked up some style on the way.
“I want to be loved” you spoke out, tone delicate like a whisper, too embarrassed, too afraid.
“Y/n my dear, you are loved by many. Your mother adores you, friends cherish you, need I say more?” His eyes match his soul, dark and intense, yet they still seem to be so warm, inviting. It’s either that or his voice that draws you in. So soothing yet so deep. Like a calm ocean that holds many depth below.
“Not that kind of love. I want to be loved by a man. I want to feel that type of love I read in books and see in movies. The type of love my grandparents have. The type of love that won’t make me feel so alone anymore”
He chuckles a beautiful melody.
You always surprised him. The things you’d speak and dream of so bizarre yet so intriguing. Out of all the souls who begged for his help and all the humans he’s encountered, you’re the one that amused him most. A girl who asked and wished for so much, yet all she needed to do was look in the mirror and realise her worth, her power.
But he of all people knew that wishes were easy to slip from one’s lips. Words slide out of people’s mouths just as easy as a balloons string slips out of a child’s hand, so effortlessly. People are so careless when it comes to words. If only they knew the power it holds.
Wishes, prayers. They were all the same to him. It didn’t matter because they both had the same outcome, the same deal, the same promise, the same fate and the same desperation. The person was always begging and pleading in the end, too desperate to have their prayers answered to form a logical sentence, and to understand a twisted deal.
“You are not alone my love. I am here, I’ve always been here. I am the breeze that embraces you in the night, the darkness that lulls you to sleep. I am here. And you are loved.”
“You are not a man, even if you choose to be in this moment.” Your words are harsh, yes, but that’s what he loved about you. You were honest with him, you weren’t afraid.
“I can be the darkness of the night, a friend when you need company, I can be a man…”
When you make no move to respond to him, he rolls his eyes and sighs. “But before all of that I am a God. A God that answers wishes, say the words and I’ll give it to you, for a price”
This isn’t the first time he’s said this, and this isn’t the first time you’ve asked for something. But it always ends up with the same outcome, an offer of a sacrifice that you refuse. And then the whole interaction is swept away in the night, forgotten.
“Im not sacrificing my soul to you”
“My dear, you’ve called upon me countless of times, I’ve stayed by your side for years, you must know by now that you’re mine. I may not have your soul entirely, but yours is bound with mine, through shared memories and dreams, nights and years.”
“Don’t you get tired of chasing something that doesn’t belong to you? That will never be yours?”
“I have patience” is the only thing he says before he changes the subject back to your previous wish.
“I’d love to help you. You know I always do. But you should know by now that I can’t just give you that. I can’t just muster up a man for you that will make love to you. You want me to grant your wish of being loved by a man, that I can’t do, but like I said, I can be a lot of things.”
His hand reaches out to touch your jaw, thumb caressing it. His touch light, smooth. And despite everything, you wish he would touch you more, so you lean into his touch.
“I can be a God, an Angel, a Devil, a Human. Whatever you’d like me to be, as long as I am yours and you are mine”
“That’s not the type of love I’m talking about” your voice is shaky, unsure of what you want. What you need.
“Oh isn’t it? All those nights you would touch yourself to images of me… where you would talk to yourself about wanting to be touched. Those days where you would listen to all your friends stories about being with another, being touched by another. You envy them. You want to be loved in a way that has your skin littered with goosebumps, chills running down your spine” his fingers brush along your collarbone and you feel a shiver come across your body.
You think back to the nights where you would dream of his fingers against your skin. Light, cool and delicate.
“You must know by now that your body is mine. Your mind, your heart, your soul. Stop wasting your time being stubborn and let me give you what you want. The love you hope for, a world where you’re happy, things go your way. I can give you all of that if you would just be mine”
You hate the fact that he’s partially right. You have dreamt about him and thought of many nights where he would lay you in bed and take you as his. It was one of your dark fantasies that you never spoke of, you couldn’t , not to him.
Just as much as you were, he was stubborn. And as a God that always gets his way, he hates being told no.
“I see you’re making it a habit of calling me yours. You may be a God, but I don’t belong to you. I won’t”
“Within due time”
You don’t say anything else, instead you focus on the stillness of the room. The way his presence is so strong, the way you feel relaxed around him.
“You want me to grant your wish of being loved by a man? I can’t give that to you if you don’t sacrifice, but I can show you how to be loved, y/n. I can show you what it feels like to be touched” his hand brushes the side of your face. His eyes pouring into yours, if you didn’t know his games you would almost fall for his tricks. Almost.
“Is this how you get people to give you their souls? Is this one of your twisted games? I give you my body and you take my soul as a keepsake.” Your breath is shaky as his touch takes over your body, so intense, so wrong but so right.
“I don’t just want your soul y/n. I want your heart, I want your touch, I want your love and your word that you will be mine.”
“You aren’t capable of feeling those things. you’re n-“
“Not human, I know. You’ve told me many times” his fingers brush along your thigh. “But when you have lived amongst humans and dealt with them for as long as I have, you begin to understand real emotions. I’m more human than you’ll ever know ”
His lips brush along your earlobe. “Let me show you”
He lays you down on the bed, hovering over you.
“No man on earth can give you what I can give you. I’ll take their souls if they tried. I can give you the world, the luxury of never having to worry about anything. A life of happiness, a life of freedom. If only you would let me have you”
He spoke so much about making things happen. He could make things happen with the click of his finger. And you wondered if he ever manipulated you in anyway. And why he hasn’t so far. If he really wanted you like he said he does, then why doesn’t he use his power to get you?
He spoke so softly in your ear, his voice like a blanket of silk. You don’t realise that you have yet again leaned in to him. Drawn in by his words, the way he spoke them so effortlessly and so passionately.
“You have me, I’m here right now” you give up your fight and give in to what your body craves.
Your eyes flutter close as you let yourself escape in everything that is him.
Just like when you were a child, you use your imagination to create your own little world. Just you and him for the moment.
You’re lost in his earthy scent. The night sky drawn around you like a blanket, protecting you. A sense of freedom as you seep into the darkness of the night that is him. But when you open your eyes you see more than just the darkness. You see the stars in the night. His eyes mimicking the galaxy as he watches you with so much want.
There in that moment is when you realised how powerful he was. How powerful his words were, his presence was. And his touch…
His touch that had your body reacting in ways you never knew it could.
His touch light, like a cool embrace of the wind.
Except your skin is like the sun, setting your skin on fire as his hands caress your body. You hate that your body reacts so easily to his touch. But over anything else, you hate how he knows your body when you don’t even know it yourself.
He knows just where to touch you, just where you crave another’s touch.
Just where to touch to have the hairs on your body stand up. Eager for more.
His face is in the crook of your neck lightly running his lips along the service, just before he litters small pecks to it. He smells you, breathes you in, humming in the process.
“I’m so full of everything I can have in life, and yet I still crave you”
You shiver when he pauses just by your earlobe.
“What are you doing to me my love?”
You both lock eyes for a second, the world stopping in the moment that is just yours. You don’t answer him. He seems elated with just watching you anyways.
“You’ll let me have you?”
You hold your breath, unsure of what to say. Yes because you want him to take you here right now, but you know how sneaky he can be, you’re afraid that your words would be used against you.
When you make no move to speak, he smirks against your skin and whispers, “Smart girl, I’ve taught you well.”
He takes no time in playing with the lace of your panties. You feel wetness stick to the fabric, something that started once he laid his fingers on you.
He’s always been good with his fingers. One night he played you a song on your guitar, his fingers moving effortlessly over the strings. In this very moment you feel like an instrument. The way his fingers work on you, you creating sounds so melodic you don’t even recognise yourself. The way he holds you so gently as one would with their instrument. You’re not afraid when you’re with him. There’s no need to be when he holds and touches you so gently.
His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks to you. His fingers working inside of you making your back arch and toes curl. Your fingers grab your sheet, mind going crazy because you know you shouldn’t be doing this. This is crazy and it’s not like you at all. And with him?
“You’re so stubborn. Why won’t you be mine? Look how your body is reacting to me. The moment I made myself present, your breathing changed rhythm and heart increased pace. You don’t think I know how you feel?”
You release a pathetic moan. A desperate one that has you cringing with embarrassment because of how needy you sound.
He leans in towards the crook of your neck with a low, “hmm?”
You look away. Too embarrassed and too in awe at the way he’s making you feel - making you act.
“Look at me”.
You find the courage to look at him. His fingers that work inside of you have your pussy creating sounds you never knew it could. You take deep breaths, slight frown on your face as your body’s taken over by the pleasure.
“You’re so wet for me. So needy.”
He continues to watch you with half-lidded eyes. Taking in the moment. Taking in everything that is you.
As the night progresses, you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into it.
You’ve given yourself to him in this moment - not entirely as he had hoped, but having his way with you in this point in time is more than enough.
He takes you there on your bed. The same place you would speak to him every night, dream of him every occasion.
He’s gentle, careful. His motions precise, enough to have your breath stuck in your throat.
Your mind has been lost in the darkness that is him. You don’t even want to find it.
He’s hovered over you, your legs wrapped around him. Kisses given with each thrust.
He speaks beautiful words to you, hand caressing your face every now and then.
And in this moment you’re sure you’re making love. Even though you know it can’t be because you both know nothing of the sort, but this is exactly how it feels like.
You reach a hand out to him, brushing back his dark stringy locks that fall in front of his face.
He kisses you with so much passion, speaks to you with words that has your heart aching for more.
In this moment you almost give him your word. Your life, your soul. Your head clouded by this intense emotion, a feeling that you can’t grasp. He’s taken you to a whole different universe, mind lost in everything that is him.
You almost give him your word, almost.
And when he brings you to your climax you sink deeper into him, into his embarace. Letting your body infuse with his.
You both lay there in silence for a while until he voices, “Even if you deny it. I’ve given you my word that I’ll stick by your side. There’s no getting rid of me”
You don’t need to ask him about what he means.
You know.
His fingers caress your skin as you close your eyes, letting his words fill the air.
“A soul as beautiful and pure as yours is a soul to wait a lifetime for. And I’ve got a lot of time”
And when you open your eyes, you’re met with nothing but the darkness of your room.
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The God who answers after dark ☆
- mimi ☆
472 notes · View notes
kittyscupcakeandbunny · 11 months ago
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Crazy over you x Min Yoongi
[HYBRID AU]
FINAL
18+
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The last bite
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior.
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.
SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
Authors Note: okay that’s a lot to unpack here!! First of all, I’m sorry for any grammatical errors, second I hope you guys like the last bite of this story, truly I cannot thank you guys enough for waiting and being here with me in this journey!! Let me know what you all think in the comments and see you guys!! 💖
🩸My master list 🩸
< Previously
……………………………………………………………………………….
Everything felt so unreal ever since we left the clinic. I had went through all the documents already, Jin and me signed all the forms for Yoongis adoption and we had already meet before taking our leave.
I couldn’t believe it even tho me and Jin were heading to my new apartment, taking the snake hybrid to my home where he would live for the rest of his life from now on. With Jin being his brother he wanted to be in charge of the entire process - and he wanted to see Yoongi finally free and in a comfortable home. I was glad Jin was there the whole time, i felt like i could lean on him if i felt nervous and i was only able to carry on with this process because of him.
We exchanged many smiles on the way, both of us shared the same fellings of excitement right now. Yoongi was in a different car behind us to accommodate him better, the white van was spacious and was safer for him to be transported to his destination.
It has been two weeks since i finished setting my knew apartment and making new adjustments to ensure it would be a comfortable environment for a hybrid Snake to live in, things i never once considered for myself i was now buying for him. I felt so nervous about the whole situation i made the decision to get a new place entirely for him, i feared my old small apartment would feel like a cage for him and immediately stared looking for a new place for us. This time he would have his own room, the apartment was simple but spacious i made very clear that a bigger place was a must when I meet with the agent.
I took some time off my work so I could be there for the first few weeks with Yoongi and help him adapt, I knew that with drastic changes he would be at his most sensitive moment for him and I was glad to have Jin by my side. He was so polite with everything, I couldn’t ask for a better friend and on top of that Yoongi was his brother. I could trust him and so could Yoongi.
When we had started the adopting process, Jin finally decided to talk things out with Yoongi and come clean about being his brother. It was a lot to unpack for Yoongi and unfortunately he didn’t liked the facts that much but, they’ve been trying. It wasn’t going to be an easy or quick thing to fix, I can’t blame Yoongi too. He has been living his whole life alone without family and now Jin appears to be his brother, both males were mature enough to know better then push a relationship they never had.
So far I knew they’ve been doing their best at being friends with each other, but they still need time.
When the car stopped in front of the building, my heart was almost coming out of my chest I felt an immense pressure the entire drive but even now it was like I was about to burst in all directions.
I shared one look with Jin before the both of us got out of the car, the van parked right behind his. I made my way around it towards the back as the staff opened the back doors to get Yoongi out.
For safety reasons he had to be on his collar but other than that he was completely free.
The weather today was nice, I felt great knowing it.
I watched as Yoongi came out of the car on his own, eyes wide open watching every little thing around him in complete awe, the sun shined over him making his scales noticeably lighter. I reached my hand out for him, his eyes immediately turning to mine as he walked towards me.
I geve him a small nervous smile, he looked me up and down before closing his hand around mine. This was the first time we were seeing each other outside the clinic, the first time he saw me as just me. Not his doctor.
I couldn’t decipher what was going on in his mind in that moment, he had a neutral expression. But he kept looking at every corner of my face, maybe wondering if this was truly real. That he was here.
Jin walked right behind with us as we entered the building, no one said anything but the silence was comforting in a way.
As the elevator begin to go up Yoongi stood closer to me, hand sneaking around my waist making me turn to him to give him a smile. This time he shyly smiled back, looking down at our hands still intertwined. I have been thinking about how our lives would be from now, what we would do together and how it would feel to be so close to him everyday. At first i was nervous, it is something the two of us never experienced before and i kept thinking: this is much different then being with him as his doctor. That thought made me nervous, but now, as we stand so close to each other i don’t feel nervous anymore. I don’t have to be someone else with him and i can just be myself. Not long after the doors opened and we all left at the same time, a few feet away in that long corridor was my new apartment, I was excited for everything that would come after we cross that door.
Yoongi must’ve notice, because I felt his hold in my hand slightly tightened. Immediately feeling his presence putting my nervousness at ease as I looked up into his eyes, his thumb caressing over the back of my hand the whole time.
The door had a smart digital lock, it was fancy and i wasn’t used with that knowing how forgetful I could be at times I made sure to have the pass code writing inside my wallet and after pressing the password in it feeling the snake hybrid eyes fallowing my every move, the door opened.
I let both Jin and Yoongi get in first standing behind to close the door, while i put my things on the small table beside the shoe rack stealing glances at the two. I watch as the brothers look around the entrance room.
The living room was the biggest part of the apartment and as soon as I entered i’m welcomed by simple but modern atmosphere of the living room, the apartment had a glass wall and we could see the entire city from the living room. I catch Jin looking around amazed as Yoongi looks around the white couch running his hands over the fabric.
- this view is incredible - Jin said, turning to face me.
- please, Jin we both know your house is much bigger than mine - i said, walking up to him.
- yeah…. But i don’t have this view. Is almost like a 3D movie screen.
- I know right, I fell in love with it and I knew I had to get it - I tell him - at night is even more beautiful.
- I can imagine… - he says - you gotta invite me sometime for dinner sometime.
- oh yeah… besides Yoongi could use a friend- I said, pointing out were the hybrid has been this whole time.
My eyes instantly turning back to Yoongi, he seemed to be lost in thought looking around the room and touching everything. Anything i learned about snake hybrids is their sensitivity towards certain fabrics, their dopamine levels rise up around comfortable fabrics. Yoongi looked the happiest naked in a nest of velvet covers at the clinic, i still remember the day i wore a pencil black skirt with said fabric and he couldn’t stop touching it. With his words: it scratched a part of his brain he never knew. It was like giving catnip to a cat for the first time, for that reason i had to pick all the house furnitures very carefully. I can’t have a overstimulated snake hybrid walking around the apartment.
- what do you think? - I ask him, walking towards him - I change some things around for you and I also did some research for your room.
He didn’t answer at first, eyes shined brighter taking in every part of the room before focusing on me. He still wore the clinic uniform and it was hard to believe he was mine like that, i was eager to see him in the clothes I bought for him. I wanted for him to experience all of the world, things he was never able to before.
He was still probably processing everything that was going on in that moment, i knew for a fact that it would take some time for him to adapt fully to this new environment. He has a lot to learn.
- this all is just for us? - he softly asked, as if not believing - just us?
- yes, just you and me - I assured him, taking his hand in mine running my thumb over his knuckles - is our home.
He smiled, looking down to hide the soft shade of pink on his checks. Not being able to hold much longer I close my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug which he immediately fell into. Holding into me just as tight and almost tripping us over.
A sight of relief left my lips, he was finally free and he trusted me enough to be here with me. One thing about our clinic adoption process is mutuality, it has so many layers but the most important one is how both the hybrid and potential owners feel about each other. Once you apply for adoption, two meetings are required. One with the director and doctors of the hybrid and one with the hybrid, that way both parts get to know each other better. Not every clinic works this way, but now that Jin was fully in control of the clinic he made sure all the procedures regarding the hybrid’s adoption were done correctly and with much care.
Letting go of Yoongi slowly I pull him by the hand to the other side of the room, towards the kitchen.
- let’s continue the tour.. - I said, as the two fallow me.
I show him and Jin around the house properly, starting with the kitchen on the right side of the apartment, the dining table was what separated the living room from it, highlighted by the chandelier above the round dining table.
The laundry room was close to the kitchen, everything here was simple and neat. I didn’t try to get any extravagant items or forniture it hasn’t been long since I moved here anyway, and i wasn’t really a fan of colorful and expensive things. The apartment was minimalist but comfortable, although the apartment did came with a billiard table from the last owner.
On the left side of the apartment was where our rooms were in a small corridor after the space where the billiard table had been placed, in a place like this usually people would put a piano there but i was sure the last owner was a men. Who would leave a billiard table behind and put it in there?
- don’t tell me you got that? - Jin asked pointing out the said table, a tone of mischief on his voice as he stared at me with a grin.
- it came with the apartment… those things are expensive and as much as I’m the best when it comes to this game, I wouldn’t buy a pool table Jinnie - i said, the three of us stopped in front of the table.
- yeah, you wouldn’t…. But now you definitely need to envite me for dinner - he said, walking around the table.
- said the guy that literally has his own play ground at home - i tease.
- but i dont have you to lose to me there - he teased back.
- don’t go there… you know i never lose - i said.
We would continue on arguing jokingly, but i felt Yoongi pulling on my hand turning me fully towards him.
- what’s this game thing? - he asked, almost innocently but i saw how he would look behind me at Jin earning a chuckle from him.
They are brothers. And i was here thinking - more like hoping, praying for the gods - that his jealousy would disappear once he finds that out, but now both males keep getting on my nerves with that. Jin knows how possessive Yoongi gets and he teases his brother in every chance he gets, using that against him and then Yoongi does the same thing and so on i have to stand between the two as they carry on arguing about who’s the best and the list goes on. To think they both are adults.
- is a fun game… i’ll teach you when we are alone - i tell him, which earned me a smirk from the hybrid. I feared the game was his least priority once we’re alone.
With that i carry on the little tour on the last rooms of the house, first showing Yoongis room which was in front of mine. I made sure to get him a spacious bed with his favorite covers, the silk and velvet were a dream to sleep on he wasn’t wrong about that. So much i got those for my room as well.
- this is your room - I tell him, opening the door for him to enter - I made sure to make is as comfortable as possible but if there is anything you would like to add or change you can just tell me.
He stood in front of the king size bed, eyes roaming around every corner of the room attentively. I didn’t add much decoration for his room, not knowing what he would like i thought it would be better if he choose what he wants.
I watched him carefully wanting to catch all of his expressions, sharing a look with Jin who seemed to be just as excited as i was in that moment i could swear i saw tears under his eyes.
And i understand him, he was watching as his brother finally got a home of his own. Despite everything he got his brother the freedom he always deserved.
- I like it… - Yoongi said sitting over the bed.
I exchanged a smile with Jin, chuckling as the he turned to wipe the tears off his face and so on I continued with the last part of the tour.
[…]
…. 3 days later ….
I had made the decision to take a few weeks off from work to focus fully on accommodating Yoongi at home, it was something new for the both of us and I was so nervous at the beginning i didn’t get any sleep the first night but now that three days have gone by I felt like my nervousness was all for nothing.
Yoongi was adapting so well it was almost as if he had lived here his whole life, he learned so fast and without even asking for help. It was like watching a drama unfold right in front of me, I was there insisting on helping him at every second but all it took was one glance and he managed everything by himself, I thought the first days with him being in the same space as me would be the hardest ones but it was truly so peaceful. I was worried over nothing when it came to Yoongi, three days out of the clinic and he already learned how to cook.
Three days again before Jin left ha and i had made the decision to stop giving Yoongi suppressants, now that he’s in a safer space having his own space helps ease the situation for his heat. It would take some time for it to come back so i would have enough time to prepare myself for it, the two of us haven’t really talked about it yet. None of us mentioned what happened at the clinic and i was too nervous to say anything now, busying myself with his adaptation here trying to get away with it. We needed to talk about that, i knew that, but things weren’t as easy. We were so different from each other deep down i was just afraid I wouldn’t be able to give him what needed.
Before anything three days ago Jin and I had a talk with Yoongi about all his protocols from now, he agreed on the stop of the suppressants and for the future exams and check ups it would only be needed to take twice a year every six months, to ensure his health is good.
Everything aside, I couldn’t lie even if I wanted to.
For the first time in my life I was waking up in the morning every day for more then just doing my duties, I had reason to wake up with a smile on my face every morning knowing I would see him there.
The past days Yoongi created a routine of his own, he would usually wake up before me and make us coffee. Stand behind the kitchen counter while he stared at the window wall as the sunlight shined through, making the entire room look like a golden dream.
Every morning my heart was filled with so much happiness, just the sight of him made any worries disappear completely and today it wasn’t any different.
I made my way to the kitchen while closing my sleeping robe, fallowing the sweet scent of hot coffee.
- morning… - I said, gaining his attention as i entered the kitchen.
I walked around the counter where he stood, eyes locked on his as he put the mug down closing his arms around my body in a tight hug. The smell of coffee filled the entire apartment deliciously.
- morning… - he mumbled raspy over my ear, moving just enough to plant a kiss over my lips. Quick and soft.
- how did you sleep last night? - I ask him.
I watched as his features immediately changed into a bitter one as soon as the words left my lips, I knew exactly what was coming after that but the way he scrunched his nose was so cute I couldn’t hold back the giggle that escaped my lips, which I immediately tried to hide the moment he tried to move away from me. Immediately holding his waist tighter pushing him against the counter.
- awfully…. So terribly uncomfortable I nearly had any sleep and is all your fault - he said, hands falling over mines.
- I know, I know… - i blinked cutely, fallowing his face at every turn he made to avoid my gaze.
- no, im not taking it anymore… - he said, a pout forming on his lips and I had bit my own lip to hold back another mischievous giggle.
He’s been acting so cute lately it was making so hard for me to resist, it was like the old grumpy snake hybrid I once knew was gone and was replaced by a cute pouty snake hybrid.
- i’m so sorry my pookie… - i watched as his ears immediately turned red over the nickname i gave him, even the slightest and most innocent nickname was enough to make him turn red and hide his face shyly. I was at the point of bursting watching him.
- no… i’m not your… whatever that is you said - he turned away to the side, his scales shined like golden petals over the sunrise coming through the window.
- all of this because I didn’t let you sleep with me? I thought you liked your own room.
- I do… but I thought that now that we are both alone here, you wouldn’t be away from me - he turned back, staring down at my eyes.
- we’ve been through this already…
The truth is that ever since we’ve been here, we only went as far as a few kisses on the couch while we cuddled. Our nights just as our morning were spent completely stick together on the couch, the tv would play some aleatory movie the we never payed much attention to honestly.
He would usually fall asleep over me while I run my fingers through his hair not so long after i would fall asleep, until one of us wakes up hungry and the kitchen becomes a playground for the curious snake hybrid.
- I just want you to have some space to figure things out, especially now that you’re clean from suppressants it could be a bit overwhelming and I don’t want you to have a hard time - I tell him, running my hands over his waist down his hips.
- you care too much for me - he says, finally giving in and smiling softly.
- always - I said, leaning towards his chest to plant a quick kiss the the exposed skin.
- don’t think you’re free from this discussion… - he said, voice sounding much lower this time.
I looked up at his eyes our faces bearly centimeters away, noses brushing softly against each other.
- what discussion? - I pushed innocently, making him scoff over my lips.
- you’re gonna make me lose scales, y/n.
I felt his smile grow the moment i closed the distance between our lips, warmth rising up all over my body the second his hands traveled over my back up and down, softly scratching over the fabric of my robe.
Until the growling of my stomach interrupted us.
- what are hiding in there? - He teased poking my belly and my cheeks burned shyly like wild fire.
- funny… - I dry laughed makings the snake chuckle even more.
- well let’s give it some food before you eat me for breakfast - he teased.
I hit his shoulder playfully and we begin with our morning routine, making some breakfast for the both of us while he seats there watching me.
… 6pm …
We’ve been entangled on the couch the past two hours, binge watching a new drama. Earlier Yoongi decided to spent almost two hours in the bathtub, he used three bottles of bubble bath and made a mess all over his bathroom saying it was my fault for not letting him shower with me. But in the end he cleaned up his mess so i wasn’t mad about it anymore, craving popcorn i was ready to make some butter popcorn when Yoongi said he would made them for me and I shouldn’t have left him alone in the kitchen to pick a movie. He managed to burn it and almost set the fire alarm of the apartment, i was speechless. But i just couldn’t get angry at him, he looked so devastated after burning the popcorn he had the biggest pout on his lips.
I took the charge of making the popcorn again and told him to wait in the living room but he stayed and said he would watch me so he could learn, I thought nothing of it and just continue my business to focus to notice the snake hybrid sliding closer the moment i turned to place the now done popcorn into a bowl.
A gasp leaving my lips in instant surprise the moment the snake holds me from behind, i giggle feeling he sink his face a the curve of my neck. He’s been doing that a lot lately finding amusement on catching me off guard just to tease on my weak spot, i held on his arms turning my face toward his kissing the tip of his nose. He smiled holding me tighter.
Yoongi has been gaining some weight since he left the clinic and i was trying to keep my composure at how fast he was getting stronger, he wasn’t the small snake hybrid left to die at the clinic anymore. Yoongi was growing muscles and eating better then he was before, he looked much healthier now and i was happy for him.
I leaned against his chest, feeling the woody scent surrounding us. After three bottles of bubble bath he at least gonna smell nice for days now. I chuckled at the thought turning to face him, never letting his touch slide off my body he smirked at me.
- is this… - i leaned closer to his face, smelling alcohol on his lips - is this whiskey?
- is that what it is? - he asked, innocently.
In that moment i was hit by a wave of shock, i was completely at loss for words, looking closer at him i realized he was fully drunk. Cheeks red and eyes bearly open not to forget the smell of whiskey on his breath. Just when did he drink so much? I turned my back for three seconds?
I wanted to curse myself for being such an alcoholic in that moment, maybe i should’ve hidden my supply of alcohol in my room and not right beside the pool table. What was i even thinking? Yoongi is free now and just like a kid, of course he’s gonna take a taste of everything new to him.
- how much did you drink? - i asked, worried. This was the first time I heard of a hybrid drinking alcohol, god knows what kind of side effects that could have on him.
- a cup? I dont really know - he mumble.
- a cup? Shit… how did you drink that? - i was so utterly worried.
- with my mouth? - he said, sarcasm dripping down his lips like the whiskey in his breath.
- no way Sherlock…. - i held my temples leaning away from him. Just what am i gonna do with a drunken snake hybrid now?
- why? Was i suppose to drink from yours….? - he chuckled drunkenly, making me look up at him with red cheeks.
This kind of side effects is what i was trying to avoid.
- you… - i didn’t even knew what to say, he just stood there laughing as if this was the funniest thing to him.
And for that small moment i laughed with him, i don’t think ive ever seen him this happy. Gummies out at how big he was smiling, chest moving up and down faster he could bearly hold himself up while laughing. Jin is gonna love this.
- okay dunk boy, eat - i shove some popcorn on his mouth - i need you less drunk now.
He nodded while eating. I took the bowl of popcorn with me in one hand and the snake hybrid with the other to the living room, the movie was playing on the TV but failed to catch my attention. As i put the popcorn on the coffee table i made a small run for the bar beside the pool table, looking over the bottles i found one still opened and in that moment i wanted to kill Yoongi - he drunk half a bottle of jack.
- you drunk half a bottle! - i gasped, turning to him.
He sat on the couch legs crossed with my bowl of popcorn watching me as if i was the crazy one.
- you have so many…. - he mumbled, throwing one popcorn on his mouth - also i wasn’t gonna drink much… but it was so weak, i had few more gulps.
Weak.
Half a bottle of jack was weak for him.
- this movie sucks… - he said, getting up.
- what?
My mind was failing to comprehend anything that was happening right now. Maybe i should call Jin.
- I’m calling your brother… - i said, making a turn to go on my room get my phone.
Before i could take even a single step towards my room i was pulled by the hand and turned towards the snake hybrid, he had a drunken smile on his lips while he looked down at me. Mischief shined through his dark eyes like never before - note to self: hide all the alcohol under my bed.
- lets play instead… - he suggested looking over the billiard table - if you win against me, you call Jin.
I scoffed.
- and supposedly if i don’t? - i said, closing my arms over my chest.
- i get to decide that later…. - he said.
- careful Yoongi…. - i warned - you learned this only yesterday.
- but i learned from you - he teased back.
- and i never lose…. - i said taking one cue stick, smothing the tip with the chalk.
This was going to be quick.
- who starts? - i asked, watching Yoongi fallow my moves getting a cue stick and smothing the tip with chalk.
- you start… pookie - he said.
I chuckled at the nickname. This snake hybrid has no idea was coming.
I position myself over the table aiming at the white ball, striking it quick at the color balls i put two whites on the wholes. A confident smirk rising up to my lips.
- sorry… looks like I’m wining already - i tease, walking around the table eyes looking straight into his.
If he was nervous or not i didn’t know he seemed to be focused on me only, but I couldn’t blame him. I was gonna win this in no time.
I position myself once again aiming for a ball closer to a corner whole and in the corner of my eye i notice Yoongi moving to the other side, now focusing back at my aim the cue stick slides between my fingers and just as I’m about to strike Yoongi corners me from behind hands over my hips making me lose completely my chance.
I scoffed turning to look at the sly snake behind me.
- ops… you missed that one - he smirked, pointing at my missed move.
- i wonder why?
- maybe you’re not that good after all…. - he mumbles, walking around the table to strike his move.
I wasn’t expecting him to get it on the first try and that was my mistake, he did learned from me after all.
He gets four balls in without missing after that, I swallowed hard feeling my pride hurt bit by bit. He just learned that how is he doing it as if he was born in a billiard table, i couldn’t believe it..
When he strikes another one I’m already moving towards the mini bar besides the tale, filling myself a cup and drinking all in one gulp. When I turn back Yoongi is watching me with a cunning smirk.
This sly snake was getting on my nerves - i never lose.
- is hot out of a sudden, don’t you think? - i say, playful. He stared the game going dirty and so will i.
Opening the bottoms of my blouse one by one I quickly take it off, keeping on the white crop top i wore to sleep. Putting my hair to the side to expose more of my shoulders.
- aren’t you gonna play? - i press, smiling innocently.
There was another minute he didn’t move, eyes staring me up and down while he licked over his bottom lip. He cleared his throat before positioning himself to strike, but just as i expected he missed.
- ops… - it was my turn to tease, positioning myself right beside him in strike my move.
Once i get my hands on to strike i never miss a single ball, i grew up playing this no one can beat me at my game. Right now i was almost finish, glancing up at Yoongi every now and then i notice he was starting to grow nervous. I wasn’t gonna call Jin anymore, after the first cup i drank another and another cup. I wasn’t weak for drinks, but i was having so much fun with Yoongi now i had long forgotten why i was even going to call Jin.
Two more balls in and i would win, so I position myself to strike the last colorful ball of mines.
- i could mate with you over this table…. - Yoongi mumbled more to himself but i heard exactly what he said.
It made me lose completely my chance to strike.
- maybe i should do that when i win this game - he looked up at me, smirk dancing in the corners of his lip placing the cue stick over the table.
He walked around the table towards me, like i was his prey in that moment and he was ready to take me as his victim. Yoongis words were like his poison, infiltrating my mind with thoughts I wouldn’t ever consider myself.
Like him bending me over this billiard table right now and doing everything he wants. Maybe I should let him win this time.
Once he was right there in front of me, he took the cue stick of my hand and placed over the table. Pushing me against the table with his body he rested his forehead over mine, hands falling over my hips he drew small circles with his thumbs.
- you win… - he whispered - but don’t call my brother, i feel like throwing up.
- that’s not because of Jin - i chuckled - you drank too much, come on… lets get you some meds pookie.
I caressed his face softly before taking his hand in mine to guide him back to the kitchen, my guess was that hybrids were much weaker for alcohol and it affected them much faster then for us humans. So i was quick to him some medicine before taking him with me to the couch and let him rest some more till he sober up.
It didn’t took him much longer before he was back at being his usual cute self and i finally found a movie to pass time, the popcorn was cold now but i still ate half of it.
The bowl of popcorn half empty sat on the small table in front of the couch, Yoongi was half asleep between my legs while I run my fingers thought his hair caressing the back of his neck every now and then.
I had a mind full of thoughts about today, i was sure that his het would start soon and after tonight that thought was rotted inside my head. Maybe the mention of mating tonight set that alarm in my head and I remember all what i was preparing myself for.
- you should tell me when you feel your heat coming - I tell him, quietly.
- what if I don’t? - he teased, lifting his head from my belly watching me attentively with a tired smirk over his pink lips.
- I’ll just found out on my own then - i shrugged.
- like you did before? - he chuckled.
- hey!
- for someone who knows so much about us it took you so long to find out i was in heat - he said.
- only because you were the first snake hybrid on my care - I explained - and you lied to me about it, remember?
- yeah… but I didn’t lied about yours - he says, eyes suddenly turning darker.
- well, I’m not… I mean, now… - I stumbled on my words, it felt so weird trying to explain him how different it happens for humans especially since is different from woman to men.
- I know, I can smell on your skin… - he said, making the curiosity go wild on my head.
- how? What does it smell like? - I ask - I truly can’t tell.
- humm… - he purrs lowly, supporting his hands at both sides of my head to pull himself up.
He leans down burring his face on my neck, taking a deep breath in.
- when your in heat, you smell like… lust - he whispers - and when you’re not, you smell like…
He moves away slowly, looking into my eyes eyebrows furred in concentration as if looking for the right words, lips half open over mine, the more seconds that went by the more he seemed to get lost in a maze.
- warmth… - he whispered - it makes me want to be completely stuck around your arms and never leave.
[…]
… 2 days later …
I could tell his heat was getting closer to a start after the two days that went by. Yoongi became insanely clingy the last couple days and It wouldn’t be a problem of course, but the snake hybrid simply decided to steal the keys of the apartment just so i wouldn’t leave and so far I wasn’t even able to step one foot out in the past days.
I searched the entire apartment already and I couldn’t find the damn keys, if only his behavior had stuck with the clingy part but he also became annoyingly a tease. In every sense.
His heat had already started and he could’ve taken me as his so many times, but i wasn’t ready and i kept pushing him away and not letting him sleep in my room. For that reason he’s been acting out on me ever since.
The mornings we used to share with innocent kisses and a light delicious breakfast, turned into make out sessions over the kitchen counter and nonstop teasing while i try to cook, our afternoons of binge watching dramas turned into marking and scenting sessions for him. But it was just the beginning, Yoongi could still control his rut pretty well and he used that against me every morning.
The first time he started to scent me was when everything went down hill and i knew it would only get harder for him to control it.
I trusted him to tell me when his heat begin to show so i could help him and I was confident it would take at least a few more days, that was my mistake. And again I didn’t notice the signs.
A few days ago when the weather had changed so drastically, it had been raining since late that morning. So the two of us decided to just cuddle on the couch for the rest of the day, i was usually the bigger spoon when we cuddle but the cold weather made me seek warmth on Yoongi. Not knowing what was going on with his sudden quietness i just brushed off as him being tired and held him tighter, every minute that passed I grew more sleepy from his soft caress on my back, hugging him and burning my face on the curve of his neck.
My body was just seconds before completely falling asleep when he moved, i groan against his chest in disagreement while he pulled me down with him between his legs.
He stared to softly place kisses over my cheek, down my jawline and brushing my hair away with his fingers to expose the skin of my neck. Kisses slowly fading into more needy touches while the second passes and I was complete unaware of it, until soft kisses turned into deep and wet ones.
I was fully alert and ready to lean away from him, my wrist was closed to his neck placed beside his head to support me up but he was quick to stop me as if predicting what I was going to do, he held my hand towards him to pull me back.
- just a little more…. - he murmured over my ear, voice soft but low and raspy as if he was drunk - I won’t do anything… just, stay a bit more like this….
He didn’t move until every part of my body fully gave in, he took his chance in that moment and bit into the curve of my neck. Not enough to sink his poison on me, just enough to leave a red mark on my skin for days.
After that he did let me go, but things were different now that his heat has stared. I wasn’t one to complain, i loved every minute i spent under his touch. He wanted to torture me for not letting him sleep beside me, but his ways of torturing consisted only on teasing me till I can’t take it and then leaving me all flustered.
It was late a night and i was getting ready to sleep already when i decided to questioned him about his heat. The door to his room was always open, i watched him from the corridor moving side to side before entering his room.
- are you okay with you heat? Do you think is gonna get bad any time soon?
- no… I can control it right now - he said, while picking a change of clothes to shower.
- okay… - I murmured looking around his room seeing as how neat everything looked - you didn’t make a nest?
He scoffed before turning around to fully look at me.
- i would… but someone doesn’t wanna let me sleep with her - he said, making my cheeks run hot.
Before I could even let another word leave my lips he was pulling his silky shirt off, making a mess of his hair and exposing all his torso to my eyes.
It was not something new to me but it always made me go insane how beautiful he looked, every time it felt like i was seeing him for the first time. His scales looked much healthier and shiny now, i notice how they seemed to have grown even more towards his v line. Shiny lines almost unnoticeable at how delicate they were on his milky skin, making he look like a diamond.
- wanna watch me undress? - he teased.
- is my house - I said back, eyes rooming every centimeter of his body shamelessly making him chuckle.
He walked towards me quickly closing the distance between us two, using his own body to push me against the wall.
Just like that all the air was gone from my lungs, the heat radiating from his body so intensely it felt like a warm blanket surrounded me. And again those dark glossy eyes were focus on mine like they used to at the clinic, making chills run wild down my spine.
Every part of my skin knew his touch so well and urged for him.
- I need my keys - I blurted nervously, finally remembering the reason why I came here.
- no… - he said.
- please Yoongi, I can’t be stuck here anymore… - I plead, finding the courage to look up into his intense eyes filled with darkness.
He didn’t say anything at first, the snake switched looks between my eyes and lips in that moment. Maybe calculating his options? Or just thinking about how he’ll tease me later for it.
- let me sleep with you from now on and I’ll tell you where they are - he said, a smirk filling his lips teasingly.
I took a deep breath before deciding on what to do, it had to happen sooner or later. I knew that. I just wished I could’ve prepared myself more for what was to come the moment i decided to let him in, the two of us kept saying it was all just for sleep but deep down it was obvious. The moment we are alone over that bed we wont be sleeping anymore.
- okay.
I needed the keys and in that moment I had no idea where that would even lead me, he said he had his heat under control and o trusted that. But far way in my mind something keeps telling me he was far away from any control.
- keys? - I asked, making his smile grow even more.
- my back pocket - he said, as if it wasn’t anything.
- no way… - i was not believing but he just shrugged at me still smirking - it was with you this whole time?
- put your hands inside it if you don’t believe me - he dared.
I swallowed hard blinking a hundred times - his back pocket, he meant his ass my keys were in his ass this whole time - before slowly moving my left hand towards his back pocket, face burning like a damn volcano about to explode. I couldn’t even look at his face in that moment, he knew exactly what he was doing.
I bit my bottom lip the second my hand slide down his ass, feeling the skin over the thin layer of his silky pants. Sucking in a breath as my eyes looked anywhere but the snake hybrid in front of me.
- oh… - i exale, looking straight back at him. It was empty.
He smirk grew wider, leaning even closer to me.
- wrong pocket.. - he whispered over my lips.
I swallowed hard again, looking down between us too nervous to stare into his dark glossy eyes but inhaling fast at the sight of his deep v line covered in scales so close to me.
No, i used to treat his wounds. I shouldn’t be nervous right now. This is nothing.
Body burning in nerves I reach for the other pocket with my right hand, feeling his minty breath brush against my face teasingly. Sliding my hand one more time down his ass, reaching inside his pocket.
He leaned closer making my attention go back to his face, this time he looked as nervous as I was. Eyes bearly open, bottom lip caged between his teeth.
The more my hand moved down his bum the harder he bit into the flash and just then I felt the cold metal of the keys and quickly grabbed them.
His expression changed fast after that, leaning away from me as quick as he could.
- we’ll sleep in your room… - he said, before turning away to leave for the bathroom.
[…]
After a long bath I went to check on Yoongi to see if he was still in his room but i didn’t find him there, going straight back to my own room while i tried to massage away the pain on my neck only to find the snake hybrid shirtless all spread over my bed.
- where your clothes? - I asked.
- don’t look at me like that…. - he said sitting up - everything felt itchy on my scales.
- oh…. Should I take a look at them for you? - I said making my way towards him, when my thumb pressed a painful spot on my neck i groan out in discomfort.
- no is fine… - he slides towards the end of the bed were I stood - what’s with your neck?
- I don’t know, i think I’ve slept in a bad position last night it’s hurting a lot now…. - I say - are you sure you’re fine? I can….
- I’m fine, come here - he interrupted me, pulling me by the hand making me straddle his waist.
- Yoongi….
- shh… - he smiled softly, pulling the hair away from my neck - let me take care of you, hum?
I blink nodding, watching his attention drift to my shoulder as he pulls the shirt slightly down to expose more of my neck. He begins to carefully press at the curve of my neck with his fingers, my body was immediately filled by relief as he worked his way around my neck and shoulder.
- I can feel some tension here… - he murmured pressing a bit harder at the curve, and my eyes rolled back in relief.
He chuckled lowly at my reaction, holding my hair away with his free hand to continue his work.
- if you had been sleeping with me you wouldn’t be sore like this… - he teased.
It was my turn to chuckle.
- lies… - I said, staring into his eyes.
He looked back with the same amount of dirtiness on his mind and I decided it was my turn to make him red.
- where’s my nest? - I asked, holding myself from bursting out laughing the second he catch what i said.
He looked extremely worried and embarrassed, almost chocking at his own words.
- oh my god…. - I laughed out, closing my arms around his neck - sorry pookie… I was just teasing.
I kissed his forehead.
- I’ll wait for you to make one for us… - I whispered to him.
- I thought you didn’t like them… - he confessed.
- what do you mean? I like it - I assure him, caressing the back of his neck. Resting my forehead on his.
In just seconds he had me pulled against him and turned us over the bed, hovering over me between my legs. A gasp had left my lips at the sudden movement, holding into him tighter until his eyes opened again staring down at mine in complete lust.
I didn’t expected him to act so quickly after asking for a nest jokingly, it was stupid of me.
He got up lazily eyes still glued in mine, I watch as he made his way towards the closet getting back with three more covers.
He was going to make a nest for me.
He dropped them at my feet before taking one at the time and laying them around me until he was satisfied with it, he had a focused expression on his soft features and then when he was finally done he looked me up before saying anything.
- I wanted this ever since I first saw you at the clinic… - he said, hovering over my body slowly - I want you for the rest of my life, y/n.
Staring into his glossy dark eyes once again, I’ve never felt more out of breath. Every moment with him had been so intense lately, as if all the cells in my body were anticipating this moment knowing what would happen, urging it to happen.
- bite me… - he whispered over my lips - like you did last time.
It was different than last time, at that time us being together was completely forbidden but now we are free, we have each other.
Pulling him closer I kissed his lips, not taking any more seconds. Groaning into his mouth every time his skin came in touch with mine, feeling shivers burning down my body never failing to drive me insane.
I was so high already and we had just stared, trailing my fingers down his back and earning a few groans from him. He bit into my bottom lip, leaning away just enough to stare into my eyes.
There was a different glow around him this time, something I haven’t seen before.
His chest moved against mine, hands sliding up and down my sides each time heavier and sometimes scratching over the layers of my clothes, teasing us both by dragging his own need to touch my skin.
The cold tip of his nose delicately moving against the side of my face, his hot breath slowly seeping through his lips over mine. The minty scent from his tongue danced over my lips deliciously but he didn’t do anything. He continued his soft tease, waiting for me to make his wish come true.
I slowly started to feel his back muscles, softly touching over the scales on his body. They felt so soft to touch just like the velvet we were surrounded by, each time I caressed them softly I would feel Yoongi swift over me slightly. His scales were one of his very sweet spots and he continued to squirm and sigh over me at every little touch, making me grow confident and needier.
He was starting to pant against my neck, groaning lowly making the need in me to tease and play him grow more and more. Remembering his little trick with my keys earlier, I let my hands travel down his spine and past his hips. The moment my hands slipped down his ass he squirmed harder, body falling completely over mine and a groan escaped his lips.
In that moment I bit into his shoulder, my teeth and tongue sliding over his skin sinking into his flesh harder just to licking over it. Carving a mark of my own on him.
- mine… - I whisper breathlessly over his ear.
- fuck… - he moaned over my neck, lifting himself enough to stare at my face.
He was biting his own lip, bruising himself enough to draw blood out of it. If it wasn’t now I would be worried for him but, he looked so handsome in such state of lust. I was completely lost in him, capturing his lips in a lustful kiss.
This time his hands had no mercy over my skin and i was completely sure I would find a few bruises here and there but I couldn’t care any less for it, I wanted them and I wanted him.
- mate with me… - he whispered over my lips completely out of breath - be mine y/n… I wanna do this with you, y/n.
I softly caressed his cheeks before nodding, he smiled before leaning down again leaving a long peck on my lips trailing down my jawline and towards my ear, bitting softly at my neck.
I knew what would come for me in that moment, it was a one way trip with no way back.
- make me yours… - I whispered in his ear.
Feeling the harsh bite over the skin under my ear, he sank his poison into it. The feeling was immediate, the first time the snake hybrid had bitten me was so painful and his poison was sickening but tonight it was completely different, I’ve never felt so high before like this before. Completely drunk on him so much even the smallest touch was enough to make me squirm and moan, just looking at him made me drool and needy.
He smirked knowingly traveling his kisses down my chest, hands sliding past my waist and stoping on my hips to grip into the flesh before sliding up inside my shirt.
Ripping off the fabric of my body with his hands, I breathed out lost in his arms. At the same time he was rough his touch was full of love on my skin, every part of me he gripped into he left a kiss over it.
He stares into my eyes with fondness, fingers running along my face pulling my up by the waist with his other hand, that way I’m sitting up with him on his knees between my legs.
I take the chance to run my fingers over his sides, feeling the scales under the tips of my fingers.
He cups my face kissing my lips hungrier, growling over my tongue. His raven hair is mess now, sweat drips down his neck and my fingers as I grip at his locks.
Bringing him closer I bite into his neck again, Yoongi gasp holding waist tighter and probably bruising the skin. But I couldn’t feel any pain, only the burning sensation all over my body driving my out of sense.
He stops the kiss, eyes locked over mine, seem to slightly go out of focus, a pool of stars all for me to stare into.
I push him down against the bed forcing him to lay down, slipping off my last piece of clothing before doing the same to his pants.
Crawling on all fours back to him, I watch as he stares at me in complete awe, Yoongi gulps down biting his on lip while he savor me with his eyes.
- you’re so fucking beautiful… - he murmurs. Eyes glued on me.
I chuckled at his reaction, running my fingers over his tights seeing how his dick twitches at the slightest touch before finally claiming his lips in a kiss.
He moans deeply pulling me closer.
- Mine… - he moans.
- all yours.
He pulls me by the thighs making me straddle his waist, feeling his hard dick press against my pussy deliciousy, sending us both into an overheated state.
I watch as Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut biting his lip as a groan escapes his chest, finger tips rubbing over my thighs leaving marks.
The burning sensation of the pain makes me move my hips against his instinctive, Yoongi’s eyelids flutter and his head tilt back as gasps make his chest heave up and down quickly. Another growl comes out of his chest and he moves his hips forward, the waves of pleasure seeping through my whole body making me shiver and lose control over my upper body, using my hands to keep me up against his chest, feeling how he breaths deep.
My eyes fluttered open to watch his lustful eyes in complete bliss, he squirms underneath me moaning out my name.
The sound of his voice sending shiver down my body, the feeling sends butterflies through my stomach. I let out a deep moan, grinding my hips into his. He growls, digging his nails into my thighs. Then sliding them upwards gripping my boobs, my own hands covering his for support as a continue to move against him.
Yoongi pulls me back against his chest, claiming my lips into a messy kiss. Stopping my hips from moving so he could slide inside me more easily, the feeling of his cock filling me up so good was making my head pound in arousal.
Yoongi moans loudly, trembling under my hands, lips searching for mine desperately, biting into the flesh of my shoulders sinking his poison into me while he moves his hips against mine, I pull the back of his hair biting my own lip in arousal moving my hips with his.
The pleasure is almost unbearable, so good every time I close my eyes I see stars, running my fingers through his raven hair holding him tight against me.
- breathe y/n…. - he whispers against my neck, sitting up in bed with me over him.
His hands grip my hips harder, his poison on my system was sending me into a frenzy of pleasure, each time, more.
- breathe… - he continued to whisper - just like that…
Not so long into that I feel my whole body shaking on top of him, knees starting to hurt from being like that for to long, but even the pain felt insanely good in that moment. Making me crawl into him more and more, he held me tighter before turning us around once again.
Hovering over my shaky body, Yoongi gripped into my hands as he pounded into me harder, throwing my head back while my knees are shaking in weakness, I moan out his name. Felling the dizziness claiming my body as he continued to pound at an animalistic force inside me.
- yoongi…. Fuck - I moan out, as he slides one hand between our bodies working his fingers over my clit.
- Y/n… fuck cum for me - he groans over my ear, circling over my clit with his fingers ripping a deep orgasm out of me.
- Yoongi…
But he doesn’t stop, even after he fills me so deep, I feel his cum dripping down my pussy. He doesn’t stop moving his fingers, claiming my lips into a messy kiss he trails down my neck, leaving marks down my chest, sucking on a nipple.
- Yoongi… too much - I moaned out breathlessly.
I couldn’t make a single thought in my head and I loved it, my legs were shaking from his fingers circling over my clit nonstop, body aches tiredly but it felt so insanely good.
Yoongi growls, forces you closer pulling my thigh with his free hand as he he worked his way down my body with his tongue, leaving wet kisses everywhere.
- fuck… - it escapes my lips once I figure out what he was planning.
How he wasn’t tired after almost fucking me into oblivion, I didn’t know, but I was so grateful.
Ending his trail over my pussy he leaves a long lick down to the bottom of it, making me instantly arch my back.
Yoongi forcibly pulls on my thighs against his shoulders, locking me completely down and starts his feast on my pussy.
- fuck, Yoongi… - I cry out name, fingers gripping his hair.
The feelings is so insanely good, I moan and mutter words uncontrollably, words that make no sense to me, but feel so good, screaming his name out loud, shit, the neighbors will definitely file a complaint against me.
The sounds he was making driving me to the absolute bottom of the hill, gripping into his hair, myself and digging my nails over my skin.
- too much… fuck - my knees were shaking again and he didn’t stop, holding me closer.
Yoongi is sucking on my clit so harshly I started to fear he might bruise it down there as well. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it my body started to convulse, the delicious sensation began again to fill me up and I’m cursing and squirting all over him.
Yoongi sits up with a groan, he touches his own face, picking up the remains of my orgasm of his face, licking his fingers as I watched him completely fucked out.
Chest rising up and down tiredly, he hovers over me, hooking his fingers behind my neck just to pull me closer resting his forehead over mine.
- fuck me… - he moaned out, making me look up at him.
- You’re crazy - I tell him breathlessly, we both chuckled.
- Please… - he plead, pulling me in to claim my lips in a desperate kiss.
Yoongi grips my waist pulling me to the side as he lays down on his, he whimpers against my lips in a sloppy kiss, hands gripping every inch of skin.
He tugs me closer to his aching cock, holding my hips firmly to move against him. The friction is insanely good.
- you smell so fucking good…. - he mumbles - please, y/n, fuck me…
He buries his face between my boobs planting kisses over them.
- fuck you’re insane, Yoongi - I moan, gripping his hair.
Yoongi whimpers pulling me tighter against him, holding my hips to make me rut against his cock. I pushed him down while fixing myself between his legs, hovering over his body a begin to plant kisses over his neck, leaving sloppy licks over his scales.
His chest started to move up and down rapidly, he purrs deeply when I wrap my hand around his cock, feeling how he throbs under my touch.
He squeezes my hips, sweet whimpers leave his lips and I watch with pleasant eyes the snake hybrid squirm in front of me as I start jerking him off quickly, making he growl my name before returning to the slow peace of before.
He whines, throwing his head back.
- is this good my Yoongi? - I tease, watching he squirms as a reaction.
- So good… oh, so good y/n - he groans, barely keeping his eyes open - please, fuck..
- What is it baby? What do you want? - I taunt moving my hand terribly slow over his cock.
- Wanna… fuck, wanna cum… - he moans, trembling when I start jerking him off quickly.
His pretty cock spits pre cum, the sounds of my hand moving around his throbbing head driving us both insane, the moment he started squirming I knew he was getting closer.
- yes, yes… y/n you’re so good - he moans, hands gripping the covers.
- Cum baby, make a mess for me.
He starts to moan my name repeatedly, bitting his own lip until his legs are shaking, cock throbbing under my fingers while leaking his cum all over himself.
I run my hand over his belly covered on his milk, spreading it on his abs before moving closer, pressing my lips against the curve of his neck.
- such a good boy… my Yoongi - I praise, leaving kisses alone his jawline.
- - that was so good… - he mumbles, closing his arms around my body in a hug.
- Humm… you are insane - I said against his chest, running my fingers over his shoulder.
- I’m yours - he state, making me look up into his eyes.
- I’m yours too - I whisper over his lips, softly claiming his between mine.
He pulled me over his chest and we cuddled together, finally letting the tiredness begin to kick and let us get some sleep.
And tomorrow I would wake up happy, knowing it would be in his arms. Forever.
Taglist: @yoongiwantsme @effielumiere @danielle143 @dragons-flare e @awanderingangel @blue-and-grey-army @crystallizedtime @fairywriter-oracle @rosquilleta @m4gg13-g @unadulteratedlyunique e @kpopmultistantrashsstuff f @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @yoongislatinagff @kimsonlyluv @slut-4-yourmom @illnevertrustmyselfagain @bangchanbabygirlx @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @momnomnom @honsoolgloss @kimtaehussy @amariemoore @starrlo0ver r @whipwhoops s @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe e @catlove83 @tarahardcore e @liveyun @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna a @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky @watermelon2319 @mukeovernetflix @lopprhe e @acquiescence804 @locket-hrt @myspi2010 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @armydgirl l l @jaxyy219 @viankiss @shycreationdreamland @the-reas0n-is-y0u @nothingsreal420 @sckalykoko @lucis-noctiana
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bunkoos-mole-enthusiast · 10 months ago
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Weekly Jungkook Fanfic Recs
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Some fine JK fics for your reading pleasure. 🔞 Please show your appreciation to all the wonderful authors :)
Over The Odds: Billionaire CEO Jungkook makes you an offer you’d be a fool to refuse.  https://jungk0oksthighs.tumblr.com/post/682441385035644928/over-the-odds-collection-completed-ceojungkook
Dungeons & Dick: Your DnD group meets weekly and this time your DM, who also happens to be your boyfriend, plans on killing one of your party members until you thwart his plan leaving him pissed off and embarrassed. But Jungkook is not so secret about how much it turns him on when all the others have left.  https://jungkookiebus.tumblr.com/post/190268088251/dungeons-and-dick-jjk
Just Friends: The transition from best friends to best friends with benefits is never easy, especially when there’s a daddy kink involved. https://kinktae.tumblr.com/post/172263702969/just-friends-m
Bitchin': The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook. https://kinktae.tumblr.com/post/185646704844/bitchin-m Blackjack: Bangtan is one of the most vicious mafia on the West Coast, only six members are known by name though, with a mysterious seventh member dubbed as "The Shadow". You become indebted to the worst of the worst - how to get out? https://kpopfanfictrash.tumblr.com/post/165138875526/blackjack-master-list Ember Burning: The dragon riders of Duret Ghal are known across the continent: fierce warrors who take to the skies on their winged beasts led by their king Jungkook. You are the last dragon queen of Ashya, ruler of a dying species able to transform from human to dragon. When a foe emerges threatening both kingdoms, you find yourself forced to broker a peace with your former enemy. https://kpopfanfictrash.tumblr.com/post/643137431841947648/ember-burning-m A Holiday Snowdown: The Inn On The Hill is in trouble, you need money and you need it fast. Namjoon proposes a weeklong social media blitz with celebrity guest Jeon Jungkook: two-time Olympic gold medalist, world-class snowboarder and the nation's sweetheart. You happen to have met Jungkook before and sincerely hoped you'd never see him again. https://kpopfanfictrash.tumblr.com/post/671401371365507072/a-holiday-snowdown-m Paralian: A very loose retelling of The Little Mermaid. Pirate x Merfolk au. https://kpopfanfictrash.tumblr.com/post/186345871706/paralian The Monogamy Diaries: Namjoon is getting married and somewhere between the laughter and drinks, everyone has the same realization: Jungkook has never been in a serious relationship. In the name of all that is holy it is decided to find Jeon Jungkook a girlfriend. https://kpopfanfictrash.tumblr.com/post/190709693371/the-monogamy-monologues Love To Hate: Your mother ropes you into a blind date with playboy billionaire Jeon Jungkook. He stands for everything you loathe about the world you left behind, but you can't deny the spark of attraction between you. Intrigued by the promise of mutual satisfaction, you agree to one night in bed… and quickly realize you're in far, far deeper than you ever intended. https://kpopfanfictrash.tumblr.com/post/661587797603401728/love-to-hate-master-list
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alphabetboyluvr · 8 months ago
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HUSH | MYG - TWO
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pairing: rockstar!yoongi x female reader | mutual disdain - lovers (but also strangers - lovers? kinda?)
premise: in which you work for your brothers band by day and accidentally anonymously sext his bandmate on the regular by night! whoops !!
wc: 10k
for more details, pls see the master list (x)
note from holly: if you've read hush over on wattpad, then you've already seen this! sorry!! but this is everything that was on wattpad--the next upload will be 100% fresh hehe
warnings: alcohol, foul language, creepy men in bars, sexting (minimal!! very brief!), yoongi is both an asshole and a good guy, oc and yoongi are dumb!! and argumentative!! we learn a teeny tiny bit more lore for the night that never was!!
the app (x) | the band (x) | part one (x)
minors dni!!!
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GOLDEN CLOSET STUDIO Big Hit Ent, Yongsan-gu
"Back again so soon?" Jungkook grins when you traipse into his studio the next morning. 
Slumping down onto the sofa with a groan, you get comfortable like it's a second home to you. Only just gone midday, you're exhausted. You'll tell anyone who asks that you went out for a morning run, but you'll be lying through your teeth.
See, what made you tired may have given flushed cheeks, but sadly no cardio was involved. Just some pixels. Words. Another goddamn video call of a bedroom you know so damn well but have never stepped foot within. From his belly button down, you'd recognise your Damocles boys in a heartbeat. Wonder if you'd be able to tell if you saw him in the wild, fully clothed. 
You doubt it.
No, what's made you so tired isn't the things that get you up in the morning, but rather the things that keep you up all night.
Or just 'thing'.
A singular.
You're not sure you want to classify him as a person, because currently he's just pixels on a screen - but the images those pixels so often make? The dirty words that form in negative spaces just for you to see?
Yeah. You think that he's too good to be true. Can't be a real man.
"Meeting," you mumble into the cushion of the chair. "You know how many logistics are involved in taking you guys on tour? It's mad."
"Logistics?" He snorts, knowing your job has nothing to do with that side of the business.
"I'm shadowing," you reply. "Jinyu sweet-talked someone she knows in that department. Following one of the planners around for the week."
"Really tryna work your way up, huh?" Jungkook asks, before quietly musing, "Hope Jinyu'll sweet-talk me some time."
He's not wrong. About working your way up, that is. Jinyu will never sweet-talk him.
Big Hit is a great stepping stone - an industry outlier, built from the ground up - but you don't want to be in your brother's shadow for too long. 
You fear it'll look like you're complacent; as if you want an easy life that you don't have to work hard for. Get some experience, get a good reference, and get out; that's the plan. Maybe work somewhere overseas, away from the confines of your family name.
You don't entertain Jungkook's musings, instead opting to shuffle a little further into his sofa. It's leather and still smells brand new - not because it is, but because Jungkook is meticulous in his cleaning regimes. Will probably wipe it down after you leave. Is perhaps the neatest rockstar you've ever known - not that you know all that many. 
And that's exactly your issue; even if you want to get out of Seokjin's shadow, you've no idea where to turn to. Bright light saturates everything else. Here, you're hidden. Safe. Comfortable.
Well, comfortable except for one particular thorn in your side.
"Get your song sorted with Yoongi last night?" You ask, genuinely curious about it. You're also incredibly nosey, and Yoongi is a dick. What you'd like to hear is that he's annoyed and frustrated, because that's how he makes you feel. 
It's selfish to think that way. The album cycle is well and truly underway, and the boys are cramming every spare moment into perfecting it. You aren't too aware of the process, you just know that Yoongi speaks to you even less now that the stress is mounting.
They're made for the stage. Would spend all day every day performing, if it was sustainable. Don't enjoy the downtime - but you think it's because the slowness of it all interferes with their live fast, die young bullshit.
Jungkook shakes his head. "It's missing something. Can't figure out what. We're gonna leave it until after the Europe dates. Hopefully will have found some inspiration over there."
You accept his answer without a response. Know that any advice you could give would be redundant. You don't know the first thing about music production, and think it would be a waste of energy to float ideas for a song you've not even heard.
"Think Yoongi needs to rest," Jungkook muses a little mindlessly. "Was here till stupid o'clock last night."
You mumble a response, and Jungkook takes it as an indication to continue.
"Last email he sent was at like, what? Three in the morning? How his brain could've still been working, I've no idea."
"He's a night owl," you hum, as if it's a new discovery. "Works better that way. It's like you work best after a good sleep. He works best a little sleep-deprived."
"Yeah but how?!"
"I dunno. Brain science. Ask Yoongi. He probably knows. Psychology n shit."
Jungkook just rolls his eyes. He won't be asking Yoongi.
Just like he also won't be asking Yoongi if he wants to join you all for drinks later that evening. 
That job? Yeah, that's up to you.
Neither you, Jimin, nor Jungkook wanna ask Yoongi, mainly because you all know he'll just say 'no.' What's the point?
A fierce battle of rock-paper-scissors had been fought earlier that evening, and you'd been the poor sod declared as the loser.
Already half a bottle down, they're drinking in Jungkook's studio (even if Hoseok strictly forbode it the last time they got legless at work (as if his orders have ever stopped them from doing anything they wanted)) when you finally meet them again. 
They're getting a headstart on the evening's festivities.
It's nothing special. Just a chance for them all to hang out properly after the Seoul shows.
They rarely ever 'hang out', 'cause work often feels like that anyway. It's only when they take a break that they realise how much they enjoy each other's company. A few days rest from one another is always welcome - but exceed three days, and they start to get withdrawal symptoms.
"Ready to go?" You ask, but are met with curt shakes of their heads.
Jimin passes you the bottle of beer he's been nursing on. As you take a swig, he reminds you, "You've not asked Yoongi yet."
Lips pressed to the rim of the bottle, you roll your eyes. Have half a mind to backwash in retaliation, but you don't fancy bickering this early on in the night.
Shaking your head, you swallow down the froth. "He'll say no."
"Buuuuut," Jungkook sings, as if he thinks he can serenade you into asking Yoongi. "What if he says yes?"
"Well, one of you can ask!" You whine. Yoongi's studio is the last place you want to go to - especially after the messages he sent you last night, warning you about your relationship with Jungkook. "Give him your doe eyes, Kook. It'll work."
A game of rock, paper, scissors is legally binding, though. Jungkook tells you so. Says if you don't go and ask Yoongi, he'll be forced to take you to court.
"I've got Big Hit lawyers," he reminds you.
"Is this a threat?!"
"Yep. Now go ask Yoongi!"
You argue a little longer. Jimin takes two shots during that time. Jungkook interpretive dances whenever you make a compelling statement as to why you shouldn't be the one asking. You frown whenever he does the robot.
And so, mainly to get away from any more of Jungkook's bizarre hip-gyrations, you traipse down to the end of the corridor, where Yoongi's so-called Genius Lab resides.
The wait at his door is awkward. You question yourself, what you'll say, how you should stand. First impressions are everything, and if he's greeted with shitty energy, he'll give it back in return. You know him well enough to know this for a fact.
After a lifetime of waiting (27 seconds, to be exact), there's a mechanical whir of the lock coming undone.
"Hey," you offer a smile as you're greeted with his typical face of thunder. "Been sent to retrieve you. We're going out tonight. All of us."
He knows the plans. Is in the group chat. Ignored the messages for a reason.
His stare is a little frosty but not unkind. Just uninterested. "Can't."
"Can't or won't?"
"Both?"
You might be deluding yourself, but you think he smiles slightly when he says that.
"Ah, but you can and you will go to the ball, Cinders," you joke, giving him a small curtsy. "All work no play makes Yoongi a dull boy."
You're joking, but you believe it. He's been miserable the last few months. Keeps himself hauled up in his studio when they're not on the road, and avoids social interaction like the plague. It maddens you. How is he gonna write songs about life and the importance of living one, if he won't let himself do the same?
He's hard to read as he sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Shakes his head, then opens his door a little wider. Encourages you into his space.
A candle burns on his desk, faintly vanilla in its scent, making it feel far cosier than actually is. The room is sullen; dark greys and little else. In fact, it surprises you he's gone for such a pretty cream candle. LED lights that are hidden in the walls glow a deep blue, and it's no wonder he's so miserable. There's no passion in his little pit. No life. Just him, some screens, and the whir of computer fans.
"Will you give something a listen?" He asks, quite clearly seeing you as a last resort - but when you hit rock bottom, the only direction you can go in is up. He knows you're not musical, not like Jin, but perhaps he needs the ear of a consumer, not a creator. "Been wracking my brain trying to think of what this needs. Have listened to it so many times that nothing sounds right anymore. I just- Could you?" He pauses. Looks quite uncomfortable when he adds, "Please?"
You assume the file up on the central screen is the song he's been working on with Jungkook, so you oblige. Kick your shoes off and leave them by the mat. It's been a while since you've been given the luxury of access to the Genius Lab. You used to know the code.
Things with Yoongi used to be different, though.
Not much has changed within his four dark walls since then. He's gained a new painted canvas in the corner of the room, stacked behind the existing ones. It's deep navy blue. Sort of like him, you think. The blue continues. Illuminates his work area. No wonder he never sleeps. The mood lighting is cold. Alert. Is bound to fuck with his brain.
There are more speakers than you can fathom, and switchboards you can't even begin to understand. The programs that Yoongi's running on his computers are familiar, though. You've seen them enough times to get a rough idea of the composition. Can see tabs labelled for Jin's vocals.
Yoongi turns his chair as the door clicks shut, automatic lock whirring into place. There was a time when that sound would have excited you. Not for any lewd, scandalous reason - just for the fact there used to be a time, many moons ago, when you thought Min Yoongi was the hottest man to have ever graced the earth.
And can you blame yourself?
His midnight hair gracefully frames his face, perfectly waved, dark eyes stark against his pale complexion. His skin is dewy, cheeks a little puffy from his lack of sleep and the fact all he has in his system is an iced americano and blue Powerade - yet still, his features are sharp. A white shirt hangs off his broad shoulders, dainty bracelets sitting on his pretty wrists.
Every bit the heartthrob, he's only gotten better with age - but you've grown up, too. Are wiser now. Understand that devastatingly handsome men will always inevitably devastate you, too.
It's for that reason Min Yoongi doesn't bother you in the same ways that he used to. That, and the night that never was.
As you said, devastatingly handsome men will only ever devastate you, too. He's proven that point already.
He points to his chair. "Sit."
The way he's so demanding with his tone annoys you. You shake your head. Choose to stand. "It's cool. Just play the song."
You don't mean to be so sharp. So curt. You're just thinking about how unbearable he's been recently - especially last night. He'd left you on read. Obviously wasn't happy with your response, not that you care.
"Please don't be difficult," he says softly. "Just sit so you can listen properly."
Why your stature could possibly impact your ears and their ability to listen, you'll never know - but you don't argue. As much as Yoongi's contempt for you these days annoys you, you don't want to make it any worse than it already is.
The leather of his chair is warm from his perch. Kind of nice how despite his cool demeanour, he's always a little toasty. He brings the heat of Daegu with him wherever he goes.
"I'm all ears," you tell him, and watch as he presses down on the play button.
"It's not the full song," he says over the melody of an upbeat track. "You'll know the bit I mean though. It's like, not bad, but-"
"Yoongi, shush," you smile, making sure you catch his eye as you do so. Don't want him to think you're snapping. You just wanna hear the sections he's uncertain about in context with the rest of the song.
Quiet as the track begins to echo out, there's an uncharacteristically quaint piano faintly guiding the track. You know he plays, but it's rare for it to be a focal part of the songs he creates.
You understand immediately which section Yoongi's having trouble with - not because it sounds bad, just because the drop before the final chorus doesn't hit quite right. It builds and builds but the arrival at the final chorus is underwhelming.
"Rewind it a bit," you say, wanting to hear it again. Confirm that it's the right part.
Yoongi does as you ask, leaning over you slightly, and says, "Somethings off, right?"
Nodding, you listen for a third time. "Take away the guitar," you say.
He does. It's better, but still not right.
"Maybe you've overcomplicated it?" you muse, thinking that he needs to strip it back entirely, but not wanting to offend him.
"Hmm," he hums. "You think?"
He mutes a few more layers on the track. Plays it again. It's getting there.
"Better, right?" you ask.
He nods as he stands up straight, listening to it over again. Frowns. "Still not quite there."
"I think it might benefit from some distance," you suggest. "Come out with us tonight. Get your mind off this track. Might even get some inspiration."
Shaking his head, he watches as you stand and head towards the door. He's not been out with you since the night that never was. Doesn't enjoy the prospect of risking it all after a couple of drinks inevitably turns into a couple of bottles again - of which he knows it will. If you and Jimin are together, it will be messy. Just how it goes. Throw Jungkook and Tae into the mix? Disaster waiting to happen.
"Look," you sigh. "I know it's not really your thing - but the rest of the boys are game. They all want you there. Just think about it, okay?"
He purses his lips together. Smiles, and turns to face his computer screen once more. "Thanks for your help."
And just like that, you're dismissed. Considering the way he'd messaged you about Jungkook the day before, it went pretty well, you think. Try not to dwell on the fact he couldn't be less interested even if he tried.
It's funny, 'cause as Yoongi stews in his chair, rocking ever so gently, he sighs. Shakes his head. Grumbles to himself quietly: "'they all want you there'... but do you want me there?"
The boys aren't so disappointed when you return with no Yoongi behind you. They all knew what his answer would be, and only sent you so they didn't have to deal with his rejection.
"Took your time," Jimin notes.
You shrug. Deadpan. "Yeah, sorry, got distracted. Too busy shagging him."
"Really?!"
"No, of course not," you laugh, as if it's the funniest suggestion in the world. You sort of think it is. "Nah, he just wouldn't be convinced."
And so it comes as a surprise to everyone when Yoongi shows up at Jimin's place a couple of hours later with a bottle of whisky in hand.
"Shut the fuck up," is all he says as he walks into an absolute commotion, practically everyone in the room elated by his decision to join in. He hides his smile poorly, occasionally letting his teeth show despite his protests.
From the sofa, you catch his eye. Nod. He bunches up his face a little. Nods back - but is quickly distracted by Jimin holding up a clear shot glass filled with fuck knows what. You, too, find yourself distracted by chatter with the rest of the boys and a couple of the girls from the artist liaison team.
In the corner of the room, your phone is plugged into a charger. It's been there since you arrived. You've no need to check it - but you can never leave it too long.
You smile, butterflies kissing your tummy and making their way through your body when you eventually check it.
D4m0cl3s: got a work thing tonight, so probably won't be able to message much gonna be thinkin' about u tho don't miss me too much, clemmie x
The smile is hard to hide. You blame it on the alcohol.
Kind of like how Yoongi smiles half an hour later when he checks his own phone.
Cl3m3ntin3: been a busy bee today, sorry :( all work, no play? :( it'll make you dull, damocles boy x
But then he watches you as you laugh with Jungkook about something trivial. Reads over his messages again. Shakes his head.
Remembers you trying to convince him to join for the evening. How you'd called him Cinders. Told him that all work and no play made him dull.
His heart thuds in his chest. He swallows harshly. Pours a whisky. Swallows that, too.
Breathes a sigh of relief as he taps through a message - 'it's a play thing for work. promise i'll behave x' - and watches your phone after it's marked as 'delivered' in his chat feed.
Your phone is screen-up on the kitchen counter, just within his line of vision. It doesn't light up. Doesn't vibrate. Receives no message.
"Thank fuck," he mumbles, the sinking feeling in his chest lifting as he grabs a fresh whisky.
He quickly walks away from the scene of a crime that never was. Sort of like the night that never was. Is so pleased, in fact, that he's happy to sit beside you on the sofa as Jungkook sets up a drinking game with Jin.
Silly, really, how a few drinks seem to make him forget the concept of 'do not disturb' mode.
"Hey," you smile and he comes to sit down. "Glad you made it."
"Me too," he nods, lips thin, chin dimpling as a shy smile graces his face. He's a little whisky tipsy. Doesn't feel the need to keep such a strict distance from you, now.
"To a good night," you raise your glass to him, and he reciprocates. Clinks them together.
"To a good night."
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STAIRWAY BAR Itaewon-ro, Yongsan-Gu
♪ // You First (Re: Remi Wolf)- Paramore
"You're never gonna be this young and this hot again," Jimin slurs after a few too many lemon drops. It's his third time making this point, because it's the third time you've shooed away a guy trying to make a move on you.
They've all been perfectly fine. Nice enough guys, you're sure, but you aren't interested in random hookups. The night really isn't about that. All you want to do is let your hair down with the boys you've known for most of your life.
As Jimin whines about the fact no one is ready to move onto a club yet, bored of the bar, part of you considers the novel idea that one of the men in your rejection pile could have been your Damocles boy. A funny thing to think about, really. He did say he was busy tonight. Said it was for work, but everyone knows how rowdy work dinners can get after the boss leaves.
He could be here. Could have his tail between his legs. Could be looking at you right now, without a clue.
The reality of that wouldn't please you, for it would mean he's out there searching for other women.
While he'd be well within his right to, you selfishly find that that you don't want him to. In fact, all you wanna do is send him a message. Let him know you're thinking of him. That you wish you were at home right now, alone in your sheets with nothing but an internet connection and that damn app to keep you company.
You're with friends, though. Can't open the app without fear of endless ridicule - and not to mention the fact your brother is with you. Not worth it.
As you come to join them, a fresh drink in your hand, you're easily distracted. Are brought back to reality by your favourite people. Neon lights on the ceiling, and relics of time spent in the bar pinned to the walls. Photobooth pictures, foreign currency. Life is embedded into the seams of this place, and it's reassuring, in a way. Makes your dependency on your Damocles boy a lot less intense. You can forget him. Live life. Neglect to check your phone.
"Objection!" Jungkook chimes, following you and Jimin to the corner booth of the bar where the rest of your friends sit. "Older women are, like, so hot. So damn hot. Damn." And then he's thinking to himself. Brows furrowed, pouty lips whistling out a hearty sigh as he shakes his head. Thinks about Jinyu. A couple of the older women at the record company. About Jimin's mother. Laughs. Nods. "Yeah, older women are where it's at."
Both of you look at him with an air of confusion, and yet neither of you question it.
"What did I miss?" Jin beams when he rejoins you, as a member of the bar staff follows him with a bottle of Ciroc resting in an ice bucket. Another staff member will soon bring you cans of drink to use as mixers, but you know damn well these boys will be shotting it down straight.
The bottle won't be on the house, but you know Jin will have charged it back to the company. Will get a bollocking from Hoseok the next time he's in the office. Doesn't care, cause he knows the band makes the record company more money than anyone else on the roster at the moment. The way he sees it, it's their money anyway.
"Jungkook's just declared his love for older ladies," Taehyung deadpans from the sofa opposite yours. "Nothing new."
"Better older than younger," Jin asserts, playfully pushing against your forehead as he walks past you and back to his seat.
As much as you're your own person, you're still his little sister, and the rest of his unruly group of friends will do well to remember that.
Jungkook snorts. Throws a smirk in your direction. "I can make exceptions."
"And I can get away with murder, Kook," Jin assures him - and he's probably right. As much as they like to play into the rock and roll lifestyle, they've got power. Fame. Something that hides them just as much as it projects them. "Don't even think about it."
There's laughter and chatter amongst everyone at such a declaration, but you can't help but wonder if a certain pair of eyes glanced your way upon hearing that.
It's not like Yoongi doesn't know Jin harbours such feelings. Told you the exact same thing, once: that Jin'd murder Jungkook if anything ever happened between the pair of you.
But you also remember what came next.
Even if it's never been spoken about since, you know that remembers, too. The way he refused to reply to your last text is testament to it.
See, he's been avoiding you since long before you got your little job with the company. Would turn down plans if you were in attendance. Declined invites to dinner, and bailed on drinks. Once you started working in such close proximity, it was harder to keep his distance, and so he built up walls.
They're steep, and they're topped with barbed wire. Impenetrable, or so it would seem.
Climbing has never been a strong point of yours, and scaling walls doesn't feel like a pastime you'd enjoy very much, so Yoongi's safe distance from you is kept. He's feline, in that way; how he'll stalk up trees and sit in amongst the branches, peering down at you. Out of reach, holding all the cards.
Flicking your eyes across to him, you find him embroiled in conversation with Namjoon. He's laughing, which admittedly does make you smile. It's been so long since you've been afforded the luxury of witnessing such a thing.
But you're torn from your thoughts by a sudden, sharp tug on your wrist, and don't even realise Jimin is dragging you out of your seat until you're already stumbling behind him. With a shrill yelp and soft giggle, you let him pull you to the stairs that lead up from the basement bar to the earthly realm above.
"C'mon," Jimin calls behind himself, as if you have any choice in the matter. He's got a death grip on you. You're coming along whether you like it or not. "The rest of them are being boring. I wanna dance."
"Maybe I was enjoying being boring!" You argue just for the sake of it, tapping at your pockets to make sure you've still got your phone with you. Not for any particular reason. Just to be safe. Totally not because you fear losing your only contact with your virtual lover. Nothing like that at all.
"Tough," Jimin asserts, not caring where you both end up just as long as there is a dancefloor and a dark corner.
It isn't for any sinister reason, but just because he isn't looking to be the life and soul of the party. His face isn't recognised in the same way that the other boys are, but it doesn't matter. He attracts attention regardless. Goes with the territory of having a face like his. Irresistible to men and women alike. You're yet to meet anyone who doesn't think he's the most beautiful man alive - though Jin certainly does take issue with such a title being awarded to anyone else but him.
But just like Jin, there's a magnetism about Jimin. Moths to a flame, the rest of the boys follow suit and head up towards the street. The entire area code is a cluster of bars and hole-in-the-wall food joints. It's made for this time of the night, when the clouds are shielding the eyes of the moon from all sorts of sin, just a few stray stars guiding the way.
Light pollution bleeds upwards and out. Even if you know the stars are there, you can't see them - and it's not like you get the chance to check either way, for Jimin's already pulling you down the stairs to another basement bar.
This one is larger - two stories. Quieter on the first floor, it's the second level where he wants to be.
A planner in both professional and personal life, even though he seems erratic and all out of order, Jimin has everything under control. Knows the managers of most (if not all) of the bars on this street. Called a favour in this afternoon for one of the downstairs booths, just adjacent to the dancefloor, to be roped off & reserved. Knew that some of the boys would, in his mind, be 'boring', but still wanted everyone together. It's the best of both worlds. He can dance, and they can talk, or whatever they wanna do.
♪ // Desert Eagle - Silica Gel
Min Yoongi doesn't dance. He drinks. He observes. He watches the debauchery unfold from a safe distance, much like he does with you. Sometimes - not always - he thinks. Ponders. Wonders if maybe he's wasting his time by not indulging in the same way other people do. If he's missing out. Considers perhaps his friends are right to revel in such mindless frivolities.
He doesn't debate his choices often, but as he gets comfortable in this new place, he can't help it. Thinks word must have gotten out about their planned attendance, 'cause he notices far more eyes on them than normal. Far more women vying for their attention. Men, too. Whether it be sex or status, their intrigue is always fuelled by something.
The rest of the boys revel in it.
Yoongi doesn't care for it - but there's a reputation to uphold. A brand image that being spotted in clubs and getting up to no good only helps. Seals them as the real deal. Gets them out of the bracket of 'posers' or manufactured, not that it really fuckin' matters.
There are two girls to each of them. Supply and demand. There aren't enough of The Scouts to go around, but people will share. Will take all they can get. Sharp eyeliner, pretty hair, the girls all have their wits about them, and it's potentially the worst part of it all - they're making the conscious, informed choice to lower themselves to a standard well beneath their worth.
The club stinks of sticky liquor and smoke, but beneath the veil they're all wearing the same perfume. Whatever's currently being marketed as 'irresistible' to men. Was vanilla a few years ago. Yoongi is certain it's something muskier now, but isn't sure what. Makes no difference to him.
There's only one perfume he knows he really likes, and has trained himself to despise it by association.
It's a shame that he hasn't trained himself to stop looking in your direction whenever he thinks of you. Is part of the reason he doesn't like drinking around you. Makes such stupid mistakes. His malevolent mask fails to hide him. The facade slips.
Tongue resting in the corner of his mouth, he doesn't realise he's staring. Eyes dark as they watch you with Jimin, Yoongi wonders if you've always had that tattoo just above your elbow. It's small, and dainty. Hard to make out from where he is, but when your arms are in the air, he's fixated on it. Thinks it must be new.
But then your arms drop to rest on Jimin's shoulders, and he's reminded of what you look like when you're all hot and bothered. Reminded of that night. The one that never was. Haunted by the rivulet of sweat that had trickled down your skin in a sauna that neither of you had any business being inside; just you and him in a silent descent into sin, and the smirk on your lips as his eyes had followed the droplet down your body.
His attention is yanked from you when an ice cube lands in his lap. Glacing across to the direction it came from as he pushes it to the floor, Yoongi scowls at Jungkook. "The fuck was that for?"
"Remember the rules," Jungkook smirks. "Look, but don't touch."
"Wasn't fuckin' looking," Yoongi sneers, completely ignorant of the women vying for his attention. "Was just thinking Jimin needs to to sober up. Man's a state. And unlike you, I wouldn't touch her if humanity depended on it."
"I'm a man of the people," Jungkook teases. "If repopulating the earth was my duty, I'd do it. Can't believe you wouldn't."
"She's got where she is today through sheer nepotism and audacity alone," Yoongi counters. "Doesn't have the kinda genes you'd wanna repopulate the earth with."
"Foul," Taehyung laughs. He's the only one of the boys without women hanging off him. Is stern and authoritative in his rejection of their advances; not yet married but wears a ring around his finger to let them know he's deadly serious. Landed himself in hot water a few months back after photos of him talking to a girl outside a bar - no matter how innocently - circulated online. A bad angle and misrepresentation of events had almost decimated the one thing he cares about more than the band: his relationship. Refuses to ever let it happen again. "Absolutely foul, Yoongi. You know you don't mean that."
"He just needs to get laid," Jungkook chimes in. "Has been celibate for so long he's forgotten how good sex is. Used to be a time he'd fuck anything willing with a pulse-"
It's not untrue. He was reckless in his youth - but aren't we all?
"Yeah, and then I grew up, Kook," Yoongi says with little to no emotion, getting to his feet. Taps his pocket to check for his phone, and then taps the other for his wallet. All there. "Should try it."
When Yoongi looks back up to the crowd, you're gone. He rolls his eyes. Shakes his head. Is almost mentally berating you, as if you've done something wrong - but you haven't, and he damn well knows it.
Perhaps that's the most frustrating part of it all: everything falls back on him. The awkwardness. The cold shoulders. The night that never was. If he would have just made more sensible choices back then, things could be easier now.
It's not that things are hard, as such - just that they aren't how they used to be. Rose-tinted glasses, and all that.
Over by the bar, there's a haze around you: clouded judgement, misted intentions.
The smallest things put a smile on your face, thanks to the alcohol in your veins. Could be the song that's already been played three times coming on yet again. Could be witnessing some random guy get pied by every single girl he approaches. Could be the way your vodka orange takes like juice. Anything and everything feels light. Airy. Breezy.
"What's so funny?" Some guy asks, leaning in a little closer to you - and just like that, your mood is soured. You're not here to make friends, but rather spend time with your pre-existing ones, and judging by the look on his face, he's hoping for a little more than friendship.
"Oh, nothing," you smile politely, crossing your arms over your chest as you angle your body away from his. Hope that he'll get the message.
He does. Just doesn't like it very much.
"No need to be a bitch," he sneers under his breath just loud enough for you to hear.
Normally, you'd leave it. Let him have his little tantrum. Be a big baby.
But you were in such a good mood, and you're annoyed that he's ruined it.
Wanna ruin his, too.
Snapping back to face him, you're about to launch into a tirade, but you come face-to-face with a chest that looks far too good in a simple T-shirt and find yourself faltering, instead.
Yoongi looks down at you, eyes dark, scowl ever-present. Says nothing. Just nods. You think he's asking if you're okay - so you nod back. Won't get into a debate over the fact you were perfectly fine, and have no issue asserting your boundaries with strangers.
Shoulders broad, the guy who had been bothering you is entirely eclipsed by Yoongi.
Glancing across to the bar staff, Yoongi nods. "Hibiki." Glances down at you. Checks the colour of your glass. It's obscured by the bar lights, but he knows it isn't dark enough to be coke, and remembers your order from before things got complicated. Figures some things haven't changed. Looks back towards the server. "Vodka Orange." Passes over his card. Says nothing to you. Just keeps his eyes on yours.
There's a subtle blush dusting his cheeks. The heat, you think. It's unnoticeable for the most part, but sometimes the lights hit him just right, and you're reminded of how warm he can be. How inviting.
He's always been impressive. Taller in sheer presence than he is in stature. Even back in high school, his nature was domineering. Respected. Lips gently parted, you're unable to move. Suddenly, nothing is funny anymore. It's heavy. Thick. Suffocating. You're deaf to the bass of the music that thumps through your body. Ignorant of the people moving around you.
But then Yoongi's being offered his card back, and Jimin bounds on into you like a lost puppy finally finding its owner.
"For me?!" Jimin exclaims as the drinks are slid across the bar, passing the vodka orange to you and picking up Yoongi's whisky for himself.
Shaking yourself from the shackles of Yoongi's stare, you look down. Realign your mind. Glance back over and nod a silent thank you - but then you turn and leave the drink by the bar. Head for the bathrooms. Refuse to look back, so utterly perplexed by what on earth just happened.
In a frank, factual recount of the events, Yoongi just stood beside you and ordered a drink.
In your hysterical, deluded mind, Yoongi just stood beside you and opened the skies; let a flood of water torrent down. Drowned everyone in the process save for you - except you're the one gasping now as you stare yourself out in the bathroom mirror.
Phone still on don't disturb, you pull it from your pocket and check just in case he's thinking of you.
Not Yoongi, no. You push him out of your mind. Think of your Damocles boy. He's the one you wished had joined you at the bar. The one you've been yearning for all night.
And sure enough, he has been thinking of you, too.
D4m0cl3s: there are some weirdos out and about tonight, clem keep yourself safe for me, okay?
It's strange, how guilt needlessly creeps in so silently that you don't even realise it's there until an invisible hand is over your mouth. You're suffocating again, or so it would seem. Drowning, maybe. Perhaps Yoongi wasn't saving you at all; he was dragging you down instead.
You wish you were at home. Wish you weren't so drunk. Wish you could think straight. Wish your balance was a little better - but it's not, and as you try and think of a response that goes beyond 'i miss you' or a 'you should be here', you stumble a little. Lose your footing. Grab onto the sink to stop yourself from falling over entirely, only to send your phone crashing to the floor.
"Fuck," you curse, scrambling down to get it, only to be greeted with a fracture splintering right over the top of your front camera. Pulling up the app, it's very quickly clear that the camera absolutely ruined - but for the most part, your screen is okay. "Fuck."
You think it's a sign: go home.
Even if you're drunk, and you're in the business to make some bad decisions, you know that your Damocles boy is right. There are some weirdos about tonight, and as fucked up as it all seems, 'safe' feels a lot like a message thread with a man you've never met.
Instead of replying to him, you open up your thread with Jimin. Let him know you're going home. Make your way up the stairs and out of the bar without looking back. It's rare for you to cry when you drink, but it kind of feels like you will now, and for no good reason. Just had a little too much, that's all.
The light around fades from the invasive red of the club into the murky blue hues of the streets.
And yet, there's a lovely little red flag waiting by the top of the stairs, unaware of your decision to head home, too.
"You leaving already?" You chirp in surprise upon realising who it is.
The sound of your voice, and the fact it's addressing him, seems to take Yoongi by surprise when he turns to face you.
"I, uh," he pauses. Looks down. Seems to be a little flustered. You wonder what's going inside that head of his, but when his eyes meet yours again, you decide you're better off not knowing. "Can't be home too late. I'm sorta seeing someone. Gotta get back for them."
"Oh," you say quietly.
I'm seeing someone.
"Yeah."
It's not like it matters, it's just that you never expected to hear him say those words. He's married to his music. Always has been. Spends his nights in the studio, not sleeping next to someone else.
Or perhaps he doesn't anymore. Just goes to show how little you know of his life these days.
"That's nice," you chirp, swallowing down your surprise. "Yeah. That's really nice, actually. I'm pleased for you."
In a way, it makes sense. Perhaps his strangeness lately has been less to do with you and more to do with himself and the fact he genuinely doesn't care about the past anymore. Thoughts of the night that never was are genuinely reserved for your brain, and your brain alone. Have no place in his. His warning about Jungkook was due to lessons learned by him.
"And you?" He asks, noticing the slight discomfort in your tone. He wouldn't normally entertain such frivolous conversations with you, but he's only human. Alcohol still gets him a little loose-lipped, too. "What's new in your love life?"
You laugh, now. Good fuckin' question. Genuinely don't know how to describe your Damocles boy, or if you even want to.
"Nothing new."
"No?"
"No," you smile in such a way that Yoongi knows you're not telling the whole truth - but who is he to pry?
"Well," he says, then coughs to clear his throat. Look out to the street ahead of you both. It's full of drunk revellers, and you're certain at least half of them will have The Scouts in their playlists. Yoongi's position in the band means he's never front and centre, so no one notices him like this. If they do, they're being incredibly discreet about it. "I'm sure you'll meet someone soon."
"Maybe," you shrug, knocking your shoulder against his arm. "Be easier if you didn't stand in front of every guy who shows an interest in me."
"It was one guy," he laughs, knowing not to take you too seriously. "And you know he was a creep. Was just standing in for your brother."
"Yeah," you nod, not caring to counter him, or to remind him how fucked up it is to refer to himself like that. Folding your arms over your chest, you're regretting the lack of a coat. Had left it back at pre-drinks, because a little bit of liquor and you suddenly think you're a child of the sun. "You're right. Thanks for that."
"No worries," Yoongi shrugs. Is about to offer you his jacket, when a taxi rolls up. "This yours?"
"Yeah," you nod, recognising the number plate from the taxi you'd ordered via an app when you'd been in the bathroom. "Want a lift?"
He shakes his head. "Gotta head to the studio first."
"Yoongi, you're drunk," you laugh. "What did I tell you about all work?"
"Yeah, yeah, dull boy," he laughs too - but it's not you he's thinking of as he recites it. It's the girl he's heading home for that enters his mind, and how she'd said something similar. Shaking his head, he's confused at how easily thoughts of her intertwine with how easy it can be to joke with you. Puts it down to the alcohol. His head's a mess. "Inspiration doesn't wait. Let Jimin or someone know when you're home."
"Get in the cab," you insist at his need to be difficult. "I'll route it past the studio. Inspiration doesn't wait," you imitate a little childishly, which does get him smiling. "Better to get to it quickly, no?"
He looks around. Looks a little uncomfortable. You don't take it personally. He looks like this a lot of the time around you. Even before it all got weird.
Eventually, he sighs. Relents.
"Route it to yours," he says. "I'll carry on to the studio."
"Studio is closer," you tell him, knocking your head to the side, pulling open the door. "C'mon. The driver will leave if you don't hurry up."
"And Jin'll kill me if you get stolen," he reminds you, as if that would be likely to happen. Even if the taxi driver was a creep, there are cameras everywhere in places like this. You're as safe as can be. "You first. Non-negotiable."
"You're a tough bargainer," you hum with narrowed eyes. He is at least here, and not walking in the cold. Would have to cross the river to get to the studio, and the thought of any of them drunkenly walking along it alone scares you. "Fine. But you better not get stolen, either. Twitter would have a meltdown- no, Twitter would kill me if you get stolen."
"Shut up," he laughs. Knows The Scouts have a fanbase that could scare even political leaders into submission, if they really wanted to. "They don't even know who you are."
But Yoongi is forgetting who your brother is. Forgetting that there's a good reason why Jungkook has 'look but don't touch' etched into his brain. Forgetting that there are Twitter accounts dedicated to posting updates from your socials, just for a glimpse of The Scouts.
And as you let silence simmer into the taxi, not caring to keep up a conversation, you're none the wiser that those exact fan accounts are currently screaming into the void.
The Yoongi-dedicated update accounts, too.
In fact, the entire app is on fire - and it's not gonna be an easy one to put out.
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03:31AM
D4m0cl3s: you still out, clem?
Cl3m3ntin3: why? miss me?
D4m0cl3s: never
Cl3m3ntin3: hmmm well in that case, yes i am x
D4m0cl3s: i think you're lying you answered far too quickly
Cl3m3ntin3: i think you should just admit that you miss me and u just caught me at a good time :/
D4m0cl3s: but i don't? and ur nose must be soooooo big pinocchio
Cl3m3ntin3: yeah you do you've missed me sooooo much tonight, havent you? bet you've been all mopey just thinking about me aaaaaaall night me & my proportionally sized nose x
D4m0cl3s: dunno what you mean
Cl3m3ntin3: well, are you home?
D4m0cl3s: almost
Cl3m3ntin3: not even home yet and already texting me... but you don't miss me? you're lucky you've got such a nice cock i wouldn't let your lies slide so easily if you didn't
D4m0cl3s: so you're only with me for my cock?
Cl3m3ntin3: i'm not with you
D4m0cl3s: ouch noted
Cl3m3ntin3: you're the one who refuses to have me, remember?
D4m0cl3s: you know it's not like that, clem
Cl3m3ntin3: i know, babe i'm just fucking with you figuratively (sadly) i'm with friends though - i'll let you know when i'm alone, alright?
D4m0cl3s: don't worry about me enjoy your night trouble message me in the morning, yeah?
Cl3m3ntin3: if this is a ploy to make me message you first, it wont work
D4m0cl3s: finei 'll message you
Cl3m3ntin3: keen
D4m0cl3s: you love it
Cl3m3ntin3: suuuure i do
D4m0cl3s: stay safe, babe drink water before bed
Cl3m3ntin3: you wanna drink some clementine juice before bed?
D4m0cl3s: i dont think they make clementine juice and no you know the rules sleep off the alcohol first then send me pictures of that gorgeous cunt in the morning, yeah?
Cl3m3ntin3: and what will i get in return?
D4m0cl3s: the video i've just taken of myself stroking my big hard cock just for you
Cl3m3ntin3: fuck send it now? pls x
D4m0cl3s: keen and no x
Cl3m3ntin3: c'monnnn :(
D4m0cl3s: in the morning, baby just know that i'm a little drunk but so fuckin' hard
Cl3m3ntin3: no whiskey dick? i'm impressed
D4m0cl3s: i'm thinking about you nothing will ever stop me from getting hard when im thinking about you
Cl3m3ntin3: watcha thinkin about? gimmie specifics x i wanna touch myself
D4m0cl3s: that pretty cunt of yours how fuckin' wet you get god i wanna fuck you nice and slow NO FUCK STOP TEMPTING ME YOU SIREN
Cl3m3ntin3: 🙁
D4m0cl3s: in the morning
Cl3m3ntin3: you promise?
D4m0cl3s: i promise, baby go spend time with your friends message me if you need anything
Cl3m3ntin3: your dick?
D4m0cl3s: anything other than that you'll get it in the morning, clemmie promise x
D4m0cl3s is offline
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GENIUS LAB Big Hit Ent, Yongsan-gu
"All good?" Yoongi hums as the door to his studio clicks shut. 
He'd left the door on the latch so you could get back in when you went to the bathroom. Could have just given you the code, but he didn't want you to think he'd be making a habit of this. It's a limited-time offer. Not one that can be redeemed whenever you like. It's now, and now only.
"Yeah, yeah," you nod, pulling on the back of the spare desk chair Yoongi had rolled up beside his. You don't look at him, just at the screens as you tell a little white lie. "Just let Jimin know I was okay."
Yoongi grunts some sort of agreement, but doesn't vocalise a response as such.
It's not like a complete subversion of the truth. A text has been sent to your group chat. The one with just Jungkook and Jimin. No one else needs to know your business, as far as you're concerned.
It's just that a few more texts have been sent to your Damocles boy—but that's none of Yoongi's business. You're sure he wouldn't care to know.
You're also sure he's regretting the request for help bestowed upon you on the ride back. He'd mentioned the song he was going to work on, and you'd offered to lend an ear again. 
It's not an unheard-of thing. There are a couple of tracks on the last album that have been tweaked as a result of your ear, including their biggest single. You're not listed in the credits, but you never asked to be. Was just helping out a friend—even if said friend then decided to become an asshole when they started making a name for themselves.
You're tipsy, and so is Yoongi. It's easier to forget how fraught things have become when you're like this. You wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't had a few too many drinks. 
You also probably wouldn't be trending all over twitter, but you're still blissfully unaware of this.
"Same track as before, right?" You ask, kicking your shoes off to get a little more comfortable on the chair.
Again, words fail Yoongi. You're forced to decipher his small noises, 'cause it's all he tends to offer you. It's not like it's a uniquely you issue—the boys have learned to speak in Yoongi-code, too. 
"Okay, play it from the start," you tell him. "Show me what we're working with."
There's a cautious nature to the way Yoongi works. So preoccupied with creating perfection, he hates letting people hear his work before it's reached his self-imposed arbitrary standards. There's only a very small circle who gets the privilege of seeing how his brain works.
Despite his ever-present disdain for you, it seems like you're one of the lucky few. He'll never acknowledge this. Never admit that he favours your opinions, because he genuinely doesn't think he does.
You're frank with him. Will tell him how it is. Don't sugarcoat it. Aren't seeking his approval, so don't care to lick his ass just to keep him happy—not that he ever wants you to lick his ass. Could think of nothing worse. Not because he isn't into it, but because the thought of being with you repulses him in a way he can't quite describe. Even thinking about it makes him shudder.
But maybe that's the issue. Maybe the shudder is indicative of something else entirely.
"Yoongi?" You ask, drawing him from his thoughts. The song has finished, but he doesn't even really recall listening to it at all.
"Hm?" He hums. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
"The lyrics," you say. "What's the song about? 'Cause at the moment, musically, it sounds like a heartbreak song and love song all at the same time, and I think that's what's confusing about it. It can't decide what it wants to be."
Yoongi frowns.
"It's not really either," he supposes.
In the dim lighting of his studio, Yoongi is at his very best. Focused, he's shrewd in his astute calculations. Can put together different sounds and construct melodies you wouldn't even be able to dream of. For all of his issues, there is one undeniable truth: the man is a musical genius.
It's why this is all so perplexing to him. He hates not knowing how to make things right. This is his job. It's what he excels at—and yet he's failing.
"Well, what's it about?" You softly ask, turning to look at him. "Do you have the lyrics?"
Guard clearly up, the way Yoongi looks at you is puzzling. Whatever he's written isn't something that he wants to share.
"What?" you laugh, trying to not make a big deal of things. You know how quickly he closes up, and can already sense it happening. "You told me you're seeing someone, remember? God forbid you accidentally expose the fact you're a human being with real feelings."
You half think he might smile.
He doesn't.
Instead, he reaches across his desk for a small black notebook. A little weathered, it's clearly seen a lot of thoughts in the past. The leather of the cover is tarnished, and there's a faded sticker from some instrument brand wrapping around the spine.
"Just don't ask any fuckin' questions," he grumbles.
Rolling your eyes, you gladly accept the book. Tuck your thumb between the pages where a natural divide occurs. It's testament to how long Yoongi has spent agonising over the same words.
His handwriting never changes much. Always messy. Always hard to decipher.
Or at least, it's hard for other people. You've never found it to be too taxing.
What's curious this time are the little doodles on the page. Blossoms and small fruits.
"Cherries?" You ask, chirping with a little curiosity. It's hard to work out exactly what they are, but cherries seem like the most likely thing.
Yoongi just grunts.
Getting anything from him is like getting blood from a stone.
"How the fuck do you have a functioning relationship?" You mutter, casting your eyes back down to his words. The way he refuses to converse with you is infuriating.
"I said no questions," he curtly reminds you.
The way you roll your eyes this time is far less kind. Tossing the book back down on the desk, you reach for your shoes and get to your feet without a word.
"Where are you going?"
"Home," you tell him, as your hand reaches for the door handle. "You asked me for help, Yoongi—but I can't do jack shit if you won't let me."
"Yeah, well, I didn't ask for critique on my relationship, did I?" He snaps back. Feels his skin get all hot. Clammy. Relationship. That's not how he'd define what he's got going on. He doesn't know why he did call it that. Doesn't know why he didn't just ignore you, when you're clearly trying to wind him up.
"You're impossible," you tell him, patience thin. The alcohol made it easier to be friendly with him, but it also makes it easier to fight, too.
"And you're unbearable!"
"Me?!" You say with such offense it almost surprises Yoongi. Turning around to fully face him, you let go of the the door handle. Let it whisper shut, the lock softly clicking into place. You're willingly trapped in the confines of his studio. Could just leave. Instead, you choose to fight. "Oh, you have some fucking nerve—"
"I thought you were going?" He cuts you off, responding to your change in position by getting to his feet too. He's not one for confrontation, but there's something about you that just gets under his skin. Makes him wanna fight right back. "So why don't you just fuckin' go?"
"I am," you assure him. You should have known that this would end in disaster. "But maybe if you channelled some of this pent-up frustration into your music, maybe you'd actually get somewhere."
"I don't need you telling me how to do my job," he sneers. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm doing perfectly fine without your unsolicited advice."
Unbelievable. Was he not the one who asked for your help? Repeatedly?
"Holy shit," you scornfully laugh. "Listen to yourself, you deluded prick! You asked—"
"Yeah, well if you didn't insist on sticking your big fuckin' Pinnochio nose into everything—"
"My big nose?! Oh, you are such an asshole."
"You're no fuckin' daisy, either," he snaps. Doesn't even really know why he's being so rude. Just knows he doesn't want to back down. Doesn't wanna let you win. "Just do us all a favour and quit before the tour. No one wants you there."
It's never been a secret that Yoongi harbours contempt for the way in which you got your jobs, but you know damn well that you've proven your worth. If it was anyone else saying these words, you'd probably be offended.
Instead, you just shake your head. Laugh. Walk a little closer just to piss him off. Encroach upon his personal space.
"Tell me, Yoongi," you say quietly, picking off a little dust from his shirt just to see how he reacts. To your surprise, he lets you. Just looks down at you. Watches to see what you'll do next. Eyes flicking up to his, the air between you is frightfully thin. "If I quit, how would you explain it to Jin? Hmm? Would you tell him the way you speak to me?"
"I've got nothing to hide," Yoongi replies just as quietly. There's an intimacy to be found somewhere hidden between your mutual disdain and heated anger. The kind of coldness that can only come from someone you once knew to be warm. "He knows you're a piece of work."
This does make you laugh. "Nothing to hide, huh?"
"Nothing," he says. His jaw is tense, and his eyes are even more so. "Nothing happened that night."
"Yoongi, I didn't even mention that night," you remind him with a smirk, pleased at your ability to get under his skin. 
That night has lingered with you both: the scent of damp cedar wood and the sensation of sweltering heat against your clammy skin. It's not the kind of thing you forget, even if you never speak of it. Not with Jimin, not with Jungkook, and especially not with Yoongi.
"Just get out of my studio," he growls, eyes centred on yours. He's unwavering in the way that he stares you out; unashamed and uncompromising.
"Gladly," you say as you pull away from him.
You're not gonna beg him to be cordial with you. This atmosphere is a product of his own creation, and as miserable as it is, he's gonna have to be the one to fix it. Both as stubborn as one another, you know damn well it's gonna stay like for a while.
The door slams shut. No amount of soundproofing can obscure the way Yoongi curses into the void left by you.
But right on time, as you reach the door that leads out onto the street, your phone vibrates in your pocket. It's a little longer than the vibration of your other apps, so you know exactly what it is. Who it is. Solace is found in the form of notifications from him. Satisfaction, too.
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D4m0cl3s: fuck it i need you, now, clem
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
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end of part two
329 notes · View notes
97kuu · 2 months ago
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M.list
97kuu masters list
Jungkook bias acc | requests open but slow | weekly uploads
Thank you for your support! Please like, reblog, comment, and follow for more! Requests are open!
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Pressed in the steam
There is only so much he can handle visually of your wet, hot and exposed body in an a private onsen before his member starts craving more than simple touches and thrusts between your thighs.
Jungkook bf au!
OUT OF GAS?
It was a setup between Taejoon and Jungkook to get him to hook up with you in the car. However, his guilty heart and physical desire revealed that he wanted more than what he was willing to confess that night..
Jungkook bestfriend au friends to lover au!
ONLY ON CAMERA
Jungkook and you keep your sexual relationship a secret—until his friends from the 97 line start betting on who can win you over first. Feeling jealous, he pulls you into a private room at the next awards show, claiming you as his. As he sends a video to the group chat, he makes it clear that you belong to him.
jungkook x reader idol ! FWB au!
121 notes · View notes
kiddotarot · 6 months ago
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MASTER LIST
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Planet in houses
sun in houses and effects part 1
Sun in house part 2
Sun and physical indicator
Moon in houses part 1
Moon in houses part 2
Mars in house part 1
Astrology and your body part
Venus and problems in your marriage and relationship D1/D9
7 lord and reason of your future life birth.
Past life : Habits in this life
Upa pada explanation : Married life
Nakshatra Aswini ( with freature )
Bharani ( with freature)
Ketu: your weakness
Rahu and your strength
Upapada lagna and your future spouse personality
Brigu bindu and your destiny/ profession
Your moon and your past life feeling
Planets and your face structure
Sun and your pending karmic goals
Your Handwriting and your astrology placement
Your face and your personality with astrology
Why you are your fs made for each other
D9 notes
Happiness in marriage.
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Numerology and analysis
Kpop idols : lisa and v
Jungkook and mingyu friendship
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Quick astrology fact
Rahu and your power
Bed and your expenses
Ear piercings and your planets
Astrology and your body parts 2 ( women)
Mind and emotions
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Game
1.The Hidden you ( Numerology) CLOSED
2.Chart reading: past life, future spouse: CLOSED
3. All i want is you Exchange/ game : CLOSED
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#Important notice and my astrology source
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183 notes · View notes
onehoplessromantic · 5 months ago
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brb im crying
Chasing Cars | ch 12 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: jungkook is stubborn and it leads to some sort of miscommunication?, reader feels cheated on, alcohol, clubbing, cursing, promises to exes fuck everything up basically
☆word count: 7.3k
☆a/n: new week, new angst-filled chapter :') I hope you guys still love it :') thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3
☆series masterpost
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Saturday, May 4th  
You’ve barely slept. Whenever you close your eyes all you can picture is Jungkook and Gabrielle. Gabrielle and Jungkook. 
Just a friend from high school…
You don’t know why, but that lie is the one that hurts the most. Maybe because you thought he was opening up to you, telling you about his past, but he’d shrugged it off, lied about it like it was just second nature. It’s sour, bitter, and you think you might hate him for it.
You feel cheated on. You’re fully aware that you weren’t dating, that you were just a maybe, but you hate that it was taken from you just like that, in a stupid video call from your drunk brother…
It really does taste vile, bitter, sour, and everything in between.
Ria left earlier today. She had to work, but she told you to invite Yoongi or Nabi, to not isolate yourself. You don’t feel like seeing anyone - yes, you could be miserable with Yoongi, but you don’t want to hear the told you so that your friends will say in the aftermath of what happened last night.
Taehyung didn’t even text you once. You wonder if he saw you crying, before Ria hung up the call for you. If he did, you think he’s unbelievably cruel for not even texting you anything, but then again maybe that had been his plan all along. To show you Jungkook’s true nature, the one he’d hidden from you in the last few months.
Were there any other girls? If he’d so easily kissed his ex after just a few days in Paris, does that mean he might have easily done the same thing here, with other people?
You feel nauseous. Thinking about everything makes you feel nauseous.
As does the text that sits on your phone, sent early this morning, while you were in and out of your troubled sleep.
[4:23 am] JK: can we facetime tonight
You haven’t replied. You don’t even want to talk to him, or see his face. You don’t want those treacherous doe eyes to ever meet your gaze again and yet…
Yet you want some closure. You want to tell him off, to break him like he broke you, but that would be assuming he felt for you the way that you did. Which, you highly doubt since he kissed his ex like you’d never been in the picture to begin with.
You sigh, rubbing your face, trying to keep the tears in. They keep sneaking up on you, like you’re not done grieving for what could have been, and frankly, you don’t know if you’ll ever be. You reckon the first step in the right direction might be to seek that closure, to talk to him and be done with it, permanently.
You didn’t think there was a time when you’d have to be done with Jungkook. Everything that you were building, everything, now just rubbles that will slowly turn to dust.
And so you finally open your phone, heart squeezing uncomfortably as the conversation with him pops up. You ignore the texts from before yesterday night, those where you believed he was falling in love, too, and you reply,
[2:09 pm] You: sure at what time
You put your phone away after you press send, sighing deeply as if that might shake the weight of the world off your shoulders. You figure you should stop rotting in bed - it’s not like it’s helped make you feel better - and so you get up, heading to the kitchen.
You’re not hungry. You’re not hungry, but when you see the spicy ramyeon he bought to help train your spice tolerance, you can’t help but crave some. Because you don’t want to let him go, don’t want to let go of all of him. So you put some water on the stove, preparing the noodles as if that might change what happened last night.
It doesn’t. The only thing it does is make you realize that you’ve indeed improved your spice tolerance, as you eat and you barely even have to sniffle. It makes you sad, far too sad, because what was the point?
What was the point of developing a spice tolerance if you won’t eat with him anyway?
Tears pool in your eyes, and this time you don’t bother keeping them in. You let them flow freely, memories of him swirling in your mind. You think about every time he cooked for you - that first time on Valentine’s Day. You think about New York, about every night you’ve spent cuddled up in his arms.
There won’t be any new nights, any new memories. Everything that you and Jeon Jungkook once were is in the past now, to forever haunt you.
You push the noodles away. You’ve only eaten half of the bowl, but the thought of eating more makes you feel sick to your stomach. Instead, you drop your head on your arms on the table, body rocking with sobs.
You don’t even know why you’re crying so much. Why your body holds so much pain for what Jungkook did, when part of you had been expecting it all along. Yet you break and break, like you’re glass thrown from the roof of a building, exploding upon impact with the ground.
It takes a while before you stop crying, the post-tears clarity filling your brain. You straighten, wipe your cheeks and the snot on your upper lip, and then you get up. You throw away the rest of the noodles, and then walk back to your room, trying to hold onto the clarity. 
You slow down in front of Jungkook’s door, imagining him to be behind. To never have gone to Paris…
It only makes you want to cry again, but you’re done crying. 
You don’t want to be crying for someone that cheated on you.
You finally make it to your room. Your phone awaits you on the night table, face up to the ceiling so that you can see that Jungkook texted you multiple times. You steel yourself, grabbing your phone, and then read his texts.
[2:28 pm] JK: we’re at the restaurant rn [2:28 pm] JK: so maybe in an hour and a half? [2:29 pm] JK: we finally went to the catacombs today [2:29 pm] JK: you were right it’s hella creepy
It’s like he’s unaware that he broke your heart, that he destroyed the trust you had in him. It makes you think, did you imagine everything that happened yesterday?
Was it all just a nightmare?
You wish it was, but the tear stains on your sheets are proof enough that it truly happened.
[2:35 pm] You: call me whenever
You spend the next hour lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, trying to chase him out of your thoughts. Trying to figure out what you’ll tell him: there’s no way you’ll pursue a relationship with him now that that happened. But maybe he’ll have an explanation, reassurance that not everything was a lie…
You don’t know if that would make you feel better. Maybe relieved in some way, yes, but the throbbing in your chest would likely not be lessened by such reassurance. You fear it’d be worse. It would mean losing something that was real, and you don’t know if you’d survive it.
When your phone finally rings, you consider not picking up. You consider ghosting him, disappearing from his life before he has the power to hurt you more, but you’re weak for him.
Far too weak, and you pick up after a few seconds.
He’s obviously called on Facetime, and the moment he comes into view, a soft smile on his lips, you feel like you’re breaking all over again.
The last time you saw those lips they were pressed against another girl’s mouth.
“Hey,” he greets you.
You can’t find it in you to speak around the lump in your throat, so you just offer him a tight-lipped smile. He frowns, eyebrows almost touching over his eyes.
“Is something wrong?”
Of course he’d notice, but… is he that oblivious? Anger cuts through the sadness, and you raise your eyebrows.
“Don’t you have something to tell me?” you ask.
His frown deepens. “I…” he trails off, and then something changes in his demeanour. The frown disappears, his lips part and his eyes widen, filling with fear. “You… Is this about Gabrielle?”
You laugh, so bitterly you taste it on your tongue. “Are you being serious?”
“Yes?” he lets out.
He looks terrified. It’s a strange sight, and it makes unease settle deep in your stomach.
“Tae called me last night,” you reveal.
“Oh.” He pulls on his piercings, eyes dropping. “Oh.”
“What the fuck was that, Jungkook?”
Your question strikes him deep. You see it in the way his shoulders drop, like he’s burdened with the weight of the world.
“Nothing happened,” he tries.
But he doesn’t meet your gaze.
“I saw you kissing her,” you spit. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”
“Peach…”
You scoff, yet the nickname brings tears to your eyes. “What the fuck was that?” you ask again, and you hate that your vision is turning blurry, hate the way that you are so completely, irreversibly weak for him.
“It really isn’t what you think it is,” he says.
“You spent the evening locked up in a room with her.”
He closes his eyes, and his phone shifts just enough so that you see his surroundings better. He’s in a park from the looks of it, much like he’d been when you’d facetimed on Wednesday.
“I promise it really isn’t what you think it is,” he insists. He meets your gaze, his big doe eyes so pained you almost want to believe him.
You sigh deeply, and a single tear falls on your cheek. You dry it with the back of your hand. “What was it then?”
A muscle feathers on his jaw as he clenches it, yet he remains silent. His lips stretch in a thin line, horror filling his gaze.
“I really thought…” 
You can’t finish the sentence. I really thought we’d work. You can’t finish it, as your heart breaks and breaks and breaks until you’re back to where you were last night, struggling to breathe as you’d watched him kissing her.
“I made a promise to her years ago,” he admits, his voice wobbly. “I can’t tell anyone, but I swear, peach, it’s not what you think it is. I’d never do that to you.”
“But you did!”
His mouth opens and closes a few times, like he wants to say something but can’t.
“I can’t…” you trail off because you don’t want to say it. 
You don’t want to be the one to kill the relationship when it hasn’t even started yet. Though you reckon he killed it when he kissed her.
“I can’t be with you,” you whisper, as if the words can’t be uttered aloud.
“Peach…”
“Stop calling me that,” you burst. “Stop fucking calling me that when you basically cheated.”
He frowns, his jaw clenching again. “We weren’t even exclusive.”
“Excuse me?”
Undiluted rage consumes every inch of your body, taking away the pain. All there is is the blaze of anger, and it burns and burns until you think you might turn to embers.
“I don’t know why I said that,” he immediately replies, eyes so wide he looks like a deer in headlights. He takes a deep breath and swallows as the movement of his Adam’s apple shows. “Please just trust me on this.”
“No, Jungkook,” you say. “I can’t trust you when it took you all of a few days with your ex to end up kissing her.” You close your eyes, shaking your head. “You told me Gabrielle was just a friend.”
“And she is!” he says. “She really is, peach. She’s nothing like you.”
“Why the fuck did you kiss her then?” you ask, blinking away tears the second you open your eyes again.
“She kissed me,” he answers. “She kissed me when Tae opened the door. I didn’t even know he was on the phone with you.”
“You’re aware that it sounds like lame-ass excuses?” You scoff, shaking your head again. “I can’t fucking believe you. I should have listened to Colton.”
You see the blow that it is to him. His waterline turns silver, and he clenches his jaw hard. His shoulders drop even more, and you think you hear the sound of breaking.
You doubt he deserves to be breaking over his own mistakes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Peach, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I’m home, and then we can…”
“There’s no we,” you interject. “There’s no we anymore.”
“Please.” He’s begging. You never thought you’d see a day when Jeon Jungkook would beg for you, and it hurts fiercely, replacing the anger.
You’re on a roller coaster, and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to get down. 
“What did you promise her, Kook?” you ask, your voice infinitesimally small.
He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I promised her I’d never tell anyone. So I can’t tell you.”
You’re crying again, though this time it sweeps in softly, gently. No rocking sobs, no shaking hands. Just tears, heavier than the sun, rolling down your cheeks.
“Then there is no we anymore,” you whisper.
Because you can’t be in the shadow of his ex. There can’t be secrets between the two of you - especially not when his parents want him to marry her.
“Peach, please.”
“Stop, Jungkook.” You shake your head as more tears spill from your eyes. “Stop.”
“But I can’t lose you,” he says, and you think you spy a tear on his cheek too.
It feels out of place, like it’s a waterfall in the desert, or maybe oxygen in space.
“I can’t be with someone who keeps secrets from me, Jungkook.” You pause, taking a deep breath in to give yourself courage.
“But it’s just…” he trails off, and you watch as defeat takes over him.
You wonder if he ever had to fight for anyone before. If he even has it in him to do it. Though you don’t think you’d want to be with him even if he fought for you. 
Not after last night.
“It really is nothing,” he finishes, though he sounds just as unconvinced as you are and that, most of all, tells you that it is truly over.
You and Jeon Jungkook weren’t meant to be together in this universe after all. You should have known - you saw the signs and chose to ignore them. Maybe because your pink-tinted glasses coloured the red in such a way that it became the most beautiful colour you’d ever seen.
But now that the glasses are gone, you think, were you just blindsided all along?
“Have fun on the rest of your trip, Jungkook,” you whisper.
“Peach…”
“Do not ever call me that again,” you say softly, but you mean it.
You can’t afford him calling you that.
He tries your name, but you shake your head no. He curses underneath his breath, clearly unaware that he did it loud enough for you to hear, and then says, “So that’s it?”
You shrug, like you don’t care at all when in reality it’s taking everything in you not to break down right now. “That’s it,” you confirm. “We don’t even have to tell Tae.”
He nods. “Okay.”
Okay.
Everything, crashing down into a single flat word. Everything, ending on a note of heartbreak that rings and rings in your head until you think you might go insane.
You should have known you weren’t the muse behind the song, behind the poem and the art. You’d always been meant to break away, weren’t you?
You don’t remember hanging up. All you remember is staring at your reflection on the screen, and the sound of your breaking heart in the background.
*****
The thing with the end, it’s that it never really is just the end. The end of something is the beginning of something else, and sometimes the new beginning is better, sometimes it’s worse.
You think beginning your life post-Jungkook in a club might be good. The distraction of the flashing lights, loud music and alcohol is an effective one, yet you know it for what it truly is: escapism.
You don’t know how Ria and Nabi convinced you. You do like clubbing, but Nabi hates it. So maybe it was the fact that she suggested it, that she said it’d be fun that made you want to go. You even invited Yoongi, but Yoongi said he wanted to have a night in, so it’s just you girls tonight, and you reckon it has to be enough.
You follow Nabi past the coat check, waiting for Ria as she drops off her own jacket. A few seconds later Ria meets with you, and she hooks arms with you both to head towards the bar.
“Let’s get some shots before we go dancing,” she suggests, almost screaming so that you can hear her over the sound of the music.
“Dancing?” Nabi lets out.
“What do you think clubbing is for?” Ria teases, and you offer a half-hearted smile at that.
In other circumstances you likely would have laughed, but a smile is a good start, no?
“I don’t know,” Nabi grumbles.
You reach the bar, and you stand behind a group of four guys who are also waiting for shots, or so it seems. You glance at them, and your gaze meets that of the one who’s leaning against the bar, looking your way. You politely smile out of reflex, looking away a second later as you try to focus on Ria and Nabi’s now surprisingly heated discussion about the pros and cons of clubbing.
You think clubbing is good. Clubbing is empty mind, busy body, and right now it’s all you need.
It’s all you need not to run back to the Facetime call this afternoon, and the finality of Jungkook’s path in your life.
You close your eyes, take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Though your heart is aching - it hasn’t stopped since this afternoon - you’ve been good at ignoring it. At pretending that you’re fine, that you didn’t lose something that mattered to you far more than you should have let it to begin with.
You don’t think Jungkook deserved the devotion you had for him. Not when lying to you, when refusing to tell you the whole truth is more important to him. And you’ve gone down a spiral after the call. Stalking Gabrielle on social media, understanding why he kissed her in the first place.
If you were even a little bit gay, you too would probably want to kiss her. She’s attractive, elegantly so, in the same way that all people who are born into old money are. She’s from the same universe as Jungkook, has a beautiful smile and striking green eyes that you can only envy. Her hair - somewhere between blonde and red - is also amazing, probably because she has the money to maintain a good hair care and skincare routine.
You do have your own skincare routine too, but nothing that having a lot of money can pay for.
“Hey, you girls want shots?” one of the guys says, mostly in your direction.
Maybe because Ria and Nabi are still bickering next to you.
“Huh…” you let out, heart momentarily stumbling in your chest as you look at Ria next to you.
You nudge her, and she finally acknowledges the guy, staring him up and down once before smiling her ‘I’m on a mission’ smile. It works right away: the guy smirks, extending a hand for her to shake.
“I’m Jacob.”
She unhooks her arms from yours and Nabi’s, shaking his hand. “Ria. And this is Y/n and Nabi.”
You nod your head and wave weakly in greetings, and Jacob mirrors the motion before setting his gaze on Ria again. 
“So, do you want them shots or not?” he asks.
She tilts her head to the side prettily. “Sure, we’ll take them.”
And that’s how you find yourself downing shots with guys that look straight out of a frat - Jacob, Chad, Elijah and Lucas. Lucas is the one who smiled at you earlier, and he easily finds his way to your side as you drink the shots.
After that first round, Lucas suggests a second one, and you all end up downing Jaggerbombs, the sweetness of the Red Bull contrasting the taste of the alcohol in just the right way. Ria suggests heading to the dancefloor next, and no amount of pleading gaze from you and Nabi makes her change her mind.
She truly is on a mission, and you think it might be partly because she needs to stop thinking about Seokjin. Not that you would ever tell it to her face though.
You end up dancing with Nabi, both of you slightly uncomfortable with the unknown males. In another world, you’d probably be dancing with Lucas, indulging in his company, but right now the last thing you want is to sidle close to a man.
Pretending isn’t making you forget how, just a little under a week ago, you were breathing Jungkook in like he could be the oxygen in your lungs. 
You tense. You fucking tense, and Nabi immediately notices, leaning in to say in your ear, “Everything okay?”
You shrug. “I’d do without the guys, but I guess it was to be expected with Ria in a club.”
Nabi winces, offering you an apologetic look. “Do you want to go?”
“No,” you say, shaking your head. You even snort at the way her features fall in disappointment. “Do you?”
“I don’t know,” she admits.
The song ends, blending into another one, and you pull her to the side as a girl walks behind her, parting your group.
“Do you want to go to the bathroom?” you suggest.
She pouts, looking up to the ceiling as if in deep thought, then nods her head enthusiastically. “Yup, let’s do that.”
You chuckle, and then you pull her towards Ria. Ria glares at you when you pull her away from Jacob, yet leans in when you make to speak to her.
“We’re going to the bathroom,” you tell her.
You don’t give her a choice. You grab her hand, pulling her behind you as Nabi leads the way to the bathroom. 
The music isn’t as loud in the hallway, the red lights giving Nabi’s white top a tint that makes it just a little creepy. There’s already a line, and you stand at the end of it, turning to face Ria.
“Can we do no guys tonight?” you ask her.
Her mouth falls open. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think-”
“Don’t worry about it,” you reassure her.
She still looks apologetic, and it lingers for longer than just the bathroom trip - you have to pull her in a dance after you’ve taken more shots for her to stop looking forlorn. She’s reluctant at first, pouting, and you pull her closer.
“What’s wrong?” you ask.
“I’m really sorry,” she repeats. “I’m so dumb sometimes.”
You offer her a scolding look. “You’re not. Besides, it’s mostly for Nabi that I asked that.”
Ria glances towards Nabi, who’s dancing next to you but completely oblivious to the conversation. “Right.”
And that is that. Ria recovers her playful mood, and you dance and laugh and drink with your friends. You think Jungkook slips out of your thoughts on the fourth shot you down, and by the sixth, your mind is swimming in way too much drunk bliss to even feel the ache in your chest. It’s liberating - you feel like a bird who’s flying for the first time, and so you cling to the feeling as best as you can.
Nabi decides to leave before you and Ria, Namjoon picking her up on his way back from Yoongi’s place, where they apparently gamed together. You don’t care - you’re drunk enough to want to ride into the sunrise, to party until it’s light outside and the world has forgotten about your existence.
Luckily for you, Ria is one for such parties as well, and so you dance and dance and dance, taking another shot ten minutes after Nabi left. 
This time, when Ria pulls you back towards the group of guys, you follow her grudgingly. You even let the dancing tide push you closer to Lucas, who leans in and says, “Hey you”, in a way that makes you think maybe true solace lies in another person’s lips.
It’s early. Far too early. But you’re also far too drunk to care, and so when he pulls you closer to dance with him, you let him do so. You let him sway your hips to the music, let him lean his forehead against yours. Your eyes flutter shut, and you breathe in the same air, and the rhythm is everlasting.
You sigh in contentment. You’re back in New York, back at that DJ show you’d attended with Jungkook. It’s his hands you imagine on your hips, his breath that you breathe in, his sweaty forehead that rests against yours.
It’s him. Because it’ll always be him.
He kisses you, and you kiss him back, hands grabbing at his shirt. He kisses you all wrong - the lack of piercings a stark contrast to your usual.
It hurts. It hurts, and the hole in your chest gapes open wide.
You pull away from the kiss, eyes snapping open to see Lucas’s startled face. His eyes are brown, but they’re not Jungkook’s shade. And he doesn’t have that small scar on his left cheek, or the eyebrow piercing. He doesn’t have the mole under his mouth, or the doe eyes that you fell in love with.
“Shit,” you let out.
“Did I do something I shouldn’t?” Lucas asks, and he lets go of you immediately, as if you burn him.
“No,” you reassure him, yet panic is swelling in you, like the tide when the moon is high. “I just…” You shake your head, letting out a sound you know to be a broken sob. “Just got out of a relationship.”
“Babe,” Ria says from behind you, stepping in between you and Lucas. “Everything okay?”
“I want to go home,” you tell her.
She doesn’t know that you mean to him. She can’t know - you can’t even allow yourself to think so. Yet you can’t help it, the alcohol inhibiting the control you had on your emotions until you’re crying on the dancefloor, just a heartbroken twenty-something who might have flown too close to the sun.
“Please,” you add when she doesn’t react, just looks at your tears like they are foreign entities.
But then she snaps out of her drunken daze, and she pulls you away from the dancefloor, away from the reminders of Jungkook. She helps you get your coat while you sniffle to the side, your eyes red-rimmed. And then she helps you get into the Uber home, holding your hand all the way.
She walks you up to your apartment, but the second you’re inside Jungkook is everywhere, and you need the loneliness. You need to be alone, you need to be able to indulge one last time. So you reassure her, tell her that you’ll be fine, that you can hang out tomorrow, and then you push her out the door.
It takes you thirty minutes to shower and take your makeup off, and another five minutes trying to convince yourself that you should sleep in your bed.
You lose the fight, and you fall asleep in Jungkook’s bed, crying softly as his scent wraps around you like the embrace of a ghost gone too soon.
Tuesday, May 7th 
You’ve slept in Jungkook’s bed every day since Saturday, chasing him like you used to chase cars around his head. This morning, when you woke up, you made the bed, took one last look into this part of your life and then closed the door behind you like you’ll ever forget the hours you spent tangled up with him, fast asleep or losing yourself in him.
He’s coming back today. Taehyung is coming back today, and though you’d once wished for Tae’s return, now you’re dreading it. You don’t want to see him, don’t want to see Jungkook, or Jimin, or Sera, or even Ariane. 
You want to rewind time to the week before Jungkook left, but life doesn’t work that way, does it?
You finish work late, a while after they’ve returned from their trip. And maybe you sit in the car for a long time also, dreading the moment you’ll have to go in.
[2:39 pm] bröther👽: just landed [3:47 pm] bröther👽: it was a shitshow but we’re home [3:48 pm] bröther👽: ari is going to stay at ours for a few days [3:48 pm] bröther👽: we’re planning dinner? are tacos ok [4:31 pm] bröther👽: yeah so it’ll be tacos
You haven’t replied to any of the texts. You want to tell him that you’re good, that you’ll spend the evening locked up in your room anyway, but you can’t bring yourself to do so. In some twisted way, you want to see Jungkook, want to see if this is affecting him the same way that it’s affecting you.
You reckon that might make you a bad person.
You sigh, leaning your head back against the headrest. A car passes in the street, its headlights illuminating you for a few seconds before it’s gone, the dim neon light of the streetlights returning. 
You’re aware you can’t stay here forever. You have to go home, have to walk up the stairs and see Jungkook again. And so you take a deep breath, close your eyes for a few seconds so that you can steel yourself, and then you throw the car door open.
You can’t stop, can’t slow down. So you practically jog up the stairs after you’ve slammed the car door shut, locking it over your shoulder. And then you burst into the apartment, hands trembling as you still there to notice Taehyung and Ariane in the living room, lounging on the couch.
Jungkook’s bedroom door is closed, and you’re not sure if it’s a relief.
“Y/n!” Taehyung bursts, and he gets up from the couch to jog to you, immediately engulfing you in a bear hug.
You hug him back, fists closing around handfuls of his shirt, and you hide your face in his shoulder so that he can’t see the tears pricking at your eyes.
“Tae,” you whisper back. “How have you been?”
“Good,” he answers. “Happy to be back though.”
He pulls away, grabbing your purse from your hand so that he can drop it on the table by the door. You busy yourself with taking off your shoes, feeling shy under Ariane’s watchful gaze. She smiles at you when you look her way, and you smile back, offering her a small, polite nod. She gets up from the couch, walking your way so that Taehyung can properly introduce you.
She’s nice. She’s a warm person, and you feel the kindness oozing from her after just a few sentences exchanged. You know you’ll like her, and you’re relieved Taehyung finally found someone to make him forget his ex from high school.
As Ariane insists on cooking tacos for you all, you think she’s far better than Taehyung’s ex anyway. You do feel bad that she’s cooking at your apartment, but she says she loves cooking, and that you should just enjoy your brother’s return for now.
As she cooks, you and Taehyung sit at the table, telling each other stories from the last few months. Evidently you avoid mentioning Jungkook, instead focusing on what was going on in your friend group. Taehyung pulls Ariane into the conversation once in a while, and she admits she chose to do a semester in Paris because her grandfather was French, and he’s the one who chose her name.
It’s a comfortable conversation, a moment that almost makes you forget that Jungkook is hiding in his room, doing whatever it is that he’s doing. Thinking about him makes your heart strain in your chest, and you mindlessly massage the spot, as if that might chase the ache away.
What does help is when you decide to get up to actually help Ariane, and you take care of setting the table and preparing the lettuce. It busies your mind a little, and though you’re still speaking with Ariane and Taehyung, you manage not to let your thoughts wander back to a certain doe-eyed man.
You’re sitting down to eat when Taehyung finally mentions the elephant in the room, saying, “Should we ask JK if he wants anything?”
Ariane chuckles. “Feel free if you want to deal with him.”
You hope they don’t hear you gulp, and you innocently say, “What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s been weird for a few days,” Taehyung answers. “He’s been short with everyone, and he refuses to talk when we ask him what’s wrong.” Taehyung pauses, furrowing his brow. “Why?”
You shrug. “Just wondering.”
Can he hear your heart beating out of your chest? You definitely can, and it’s pumping in your ears, making you feel dizzy.
The knowledge that Jungkook hasn’t been doing well hurts far more than you expected it would. It’s like you just got stabbed right in the heart, and you’re bleeding out where you’re sitting at the table, on Taehyung’s left.
You avert your gaze, looking at the bowls on the table, eyes focusing on the steam rising from the cooked ground beef. You act like you don’t care - you grab a taco shell, and immediately start to prepare your meal, while a strange silence stretches. 
It’s uncomfortable, awkward, and Taehyung flees by getting up and heading to Jungkook’s room. You hear him knocking on the door, and you can’t help but strain your ears as you try to hear what they’re saying.
“You hungry?” Taehyung says after you’ve heard the door opening.
“Not really,” Jungkook replies, and hearing his voice is shattering, wrecking, like the car you were riding just smashed into a wall at full speed.
Your eyes fill with tears, which you furiously blink away hoping that Ariane doesn’t notice. She’s luckily looking towards the hallway though, and you successfully clear your gaze before she turns again.
“I think he’s upset because of Gaby,” she comments as she starts making her own taco. “He started being like this when she stopped hanging out with us.”
Right. Ariane is Gabrielle’s friend. Her best friend even, if what Taehyung said is true. 
You’re not so sure anymore if you’ll be able to get along with Ariane after all.
“Ah,” you flatly let out. “That sucks.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “He’ll get over it. Gaby said he’s the one that broke up with her anyway.”
You gulp around the lump in your throat, and though your hunger has entirely vanished, you bite into the taco so that you don’t have to talk.
It works, and you eat in silence as Taehyung walks back into the room, exchanging a knowing glance with Ariane. He sits back down between the two of you, and then he’s making his taco too, and though the atmosphere is awkward, you don’t have to partake in any more conversation.
You force yourself to eat a second taco, knowing Taehyung would tell you off if you don’t considering you usually eat at least three, if not more. It’s sickening, and you’re on your last bite when Jungkook appears in the door frame.
Your gazes immediately meet, and everything seems to stop around you, to disappear from existence. There’s just you and him, and you take in his dishevelled appearance, the dark circles under his eyes and the hollowness of his gaze.
All light has gone out from his eyes, replaced by shadows and darkness you recognize far too well.
They’re haunting your own eyes, too.
“I’m heading home for the summer,” he tells no one in particular, though his gaze doesn’t leave yours.
Like he’s trying to take everything in one last time, trying to commit you to memory like you’re doing with him right now.
Though you don’t want this to be a memory. You want to remember his lips on your skin and the light in his eyes and the way he’d always hold you close. You want to remember what it felt like to be his – or to believe you were. You don’t want any of the heartbreak, but it takes over everything, and your gaze drops to the table.
“What?” Taehyung lets out. “Right now?”
Jungkook nods. “My father needs help with his company.”
“We literally got home like six hours ago,” Taehyung points out. “Shouldn’t you get some sleep first?”
“I’m good,” Jungkook says. “It’s not that long of a drive.”
It actually is. It’s nearly four hours, and you highly doubt Jungkook’s father asked for help. Or maybe he did. Maybe Jungkook lied about his strained relationship with his family to get you to…
You stop the train of thoughts. He didn’t lie. You were there, and you saw it with your own two eyes. 
You force yourself to meet his gaze again - his eyes haven’t left you. He offers you the saddest smile you’ve ever seen on his lips, and his gaze fills with words unsaid. You can almost taste them on the sharp inhale of breath you take, and you want to tell him to stay.
You want to tell him that you’re in love with him. But it’s too little too late, and so you swallow the confession, shove it down until you can forget its existence.
He nods, like he knows then that you truly are over, and then he says, “I’ll see you guys soon.”
You watch him go - your heart goes with him, and you feel like you’ll cave in on the emptiness in your chest. 
Taehyung follows him to the door, leaving you alone with Ariane. This time, she doesn’t miss the agony on your features, and she asks, “Are you okay?”
You sit back in your chair, nodding once, yet you answer, “I don’t know, I feel sick.”
She offers you a kind smile. “You don’t need to eat anymore,” she reassures you. “You’ve worked all day, maybe you just need some rest.”
“Maybe,” you repeat flatly. “Let me just clean up the table.”
She stops you with a hand on your wrist. “Tae’s not done, I’ll get him to take care of it. Just go to bed.”
You nod curtly, and you hope she doesn’t see the silver lining your gaze, threatening to spill over. You do put your plate away in the sink, to be washed later, and then you head to your bedroom, seeking the cool reprieve of your own safe haven.
You can’t help yourself, glancing towards the door as you leave the kitchen. Jungkook is already outside, and Taehyung is speaking with him leaning against the door frame. You think it’s a relief you can’t see Jungkook from here - you’d probably have broken down right then and there, and you doubt you would have survived the embarrassment. 
You lean against the door of your bedroom once you’re finally in, and you take a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut. When Jungkook’s pained features appear behind your eyelids, you immediately open your eyes again.
There’s a box on your bed, next to a folded piece of paper. Curiosity replaces the agony in your chest momentarily…
Until you see your name on the folded piece of paper, and realize what this is.
Tears fill your eyes so quickly this time around that you can’t stop them, and they fall freely on your cheeks as you take a wobbly step forward. 
He’s left you a letter. And the box is clearly a jewelry box - there’s something so strange about the sight that it breaks your heart all over again, until the throbbing in your chest is so stark you barely can feel the paper as your hands reach for it, unfolding it carefully.
Your vision is blurry behind your tears, and as you see he’s written lines and lines of words for you, you let out a broken sob as you sit on your bed. 
It takes you five minutes before you’re actually able to read, and you read it so many times you think you know the letter by heart.
Hey peach, I know you asked me not to call you that. I promise this is the last time, and I’ll never bother you with that name again. I just didn’t know how to start this letter… I hope you’ve been doing okay. The last few days have been shit for me, and I feel really fucking guilty for everything. I wish it’d never happened, I wish I’d come home to you so that we could tell Taehyung about us… but as you said, there is no us anymore. Thank you for the few months we spent together. You taught me a lot about myself, and I really enjoyed spending time with you. I’ll look back fondly on the memories I have of us. I really want to apologize. For everything that I did. I wish I’d never gone to Paris. I’m sorry that I left, and that I let old promises to Gabrielle ruin what was between us. I’m sorry I wasn’t more upfront about how I felt for you too. It was all just so new to me, and I thought we had a long while ahead of us to figure everything out… I’m sorry that I was wrong. I don’t expect this letter to change anything. I just wanted to let you know how I feel, and I don’t think I would be able to speak to you face to face. Maybe that makes me a coward, but it is what it is. I got you a gift in Paris, before things went to hell. I couldn’t bring myself to return it or keep it, so I hope you enjoy it. You don’t have to keep it either, I just wanted you to still have it. Finally, I hope you have a nice summer. I hope you have fun, and I hope you find someone that treats you the way that you deserve. Someone Taehyung would approve of hopefully! You deserve it more than you can imagine. Take care, Jungkook
Your gaze is blurry behind the tears again, yet you manage to blink them away. You think, maybe you’ve run out of tears. Maybe you’ll go dry and desiccated like you died in the desert, and you think, maybe you deserve it.
You’ve never received a love letter. And though Jungkook didn’t confess, you feel like perhaps you’re holding his heart in your hands like he’s holding yours in his. Perhaps he did care for you, perhaps Gabrielle really was just a momentary mistake.
You take a deep breath in, and though it’s shaky, it does ease some ache in your heart. Not everything - the hole is still gaping wide open, and you reckon only time can fix it.
You put the letter down, picking up the jewelry box instead. Your hands are still trembling, yet you manage to open it to reveal a thin, shiny gold chain. The pendant that sits on the velvety cushion breaks you all over again, yet you don’t hesitate before putting it on.
Your fingers, suddenly steady, secure the necklace around your neck, and then your hand falls to the pendant. 
The peach sits light in your palm, a reminder of what your relationship with Jungkook should have been.
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:'''''') the letter right? Did I cry writing it? Yes I did. Did I cry the fifteen times I've reread it? Yes, I also did. What did you guys think of this chapter?:')
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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colormepurplex2 · 11 months ago
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Now I'm Yours | JJK
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🤍Alpha!Jungkook x Omega!f.Reader 🤍A/B/O, Established Relationship/Mates | angst, smut, fluff 🤍WC: 14,064 🤍Rating: MA 🤍Summary: Jungkook is terrible at feelings. He’s possessive, reckless, and most definitely an Alphahole; you were once his sworn enemy for a reason. But, after he claimed you as his mate during your designation celebration, how do you even begin to navigate the dark waters of such a precarious relationship? Especially when there is darkness creeping over the horizon, threatening to blanket your world in permanent shadow. ⚠️ Vulgar language, semi-hate sex, fingering, knotting, creampie, discussion of violent acts, drinking, fighting/physical altercation, alpha challenge, knife violence/attack, blood, injury, bond sex, dick licking/oral, slick eating, biting/marking, blood/wound licking, surprise pregnancy Each chapter will have specific warnings listed.
Read Make You Mine, the first installment of the series, here!
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Chapter 1. Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
Chapter 2. Feel It In Your Soul
This story is complete.
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A/N: This story is part of the "New Year, New Me Love" @bangtanwritershq gift exchange, written for the wonderful @hisunshiine! And as always, a special thank you to @moonleeai and @downbad4yoongi for being A+ betas!
Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad
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◅ Back to Main Master List ©️ 2024-02 ColorMePurplex2
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ldysmfrst · 7 months ago
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Welcome to American Mate's Master List! The Taglist is CLOSED for this story.
This is an OT7 x Plus Sized/Chubby Reader story. The story will have Mature Scenes. The chapters with these adult themes will have (M) in the chapter name, so please 18+ readers only. Within the chapters, at the start and end of the Mature scene will be the following banner, if you want to skip them.
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The Hybrid K-pop group BTS is on tour in America; of course, things don't start out the way they should, but after an encounter with Y/n, things change but will everyone follow Fate?
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Chapter 1 - Two Weeks Early
Let's introduce you to the world of Hybrids and Playmates. It really is quite simple until a VIP Potential Client's manager walks into your office two weeks early, and it's only a skeleton crew right now.
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Chapter 2 - The Playmate Meeting
Bangtan Pack arrives at Playmate Services Inc., USA Idol Division. It's time for the pack to meet the unsigned Playmates, but things don't go as well as planned.
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Chapter 3 - Following Instincts
Dealing with the aftermath of the accident, Bangtan Pack reacts upon instincts, some more than others. Y/n learns a few new things.
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Chapter 4 - First Case of Alpha Space
Y/n may call herself a Hybrid supporter but never has she dealt with something like this. Y/n gets to see firsthand some of what an Alpha is like when they get a little lost in their instincts.
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Chapter 5 - Heated Discussions (M)
Y/n didn't want to cause trouble, but that seemed to be all she did. However, Bangtan Pack thinks sometimes the trouble is worth it.
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Chapter 6 - A Proposition for You
Things get intense for Bangtan Pack and Y/n, but not in a good way. Meeting the doctor tonight has bigger implications than Y/n thought was possible.
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Chapter 7 - Is This a Joke
After proposing to Y/n the option to become their playmate, the Bangtan Pack struggles to convince her to accept their Prime Alpha's offer. Will Y/n be persuaded or will she run from Fate unknowingly?
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Chapter 8 - Time to Tell the Family Pack (M)
While the Bangtang Pack is excited to have Y/n join as a "Play"mate, that may not be the case for her family pack.
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Chapter 9 - Shadows of the Past (M)
It becomes clear that pack dynamics can vary from pack to pack. This sometimes leads to interesting reactions. It's where the past can be seen influencing the present that will shadow all.
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Chapter 10 - A Date in the Right Direction
After the visit from Dr. Blackwell, some of the Bangtan pack start behaving differently. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe the eldest Alpha has some insight. (This chapter is Seokjin-centric in honor of his coming home from the military)
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Chapter 11 - Just a Staff Member
Y/n stands up for someone else, and everything starts falling apart. Last night was a dream but the reality of the situation finally hits.
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Chapter 12 - Everyone Deserves a Second Chance
It's time to make a choice that can make for an adventure or change y/n's life.
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Chapter 13 - Shall we?
It's time for the date with Namjoon. Getting ready becomes more fun than you think it could be with an unexpected surprise and new friends, but what happens as the night goes on?
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Chapter 14 - Does it Always End in Ruin?
Scenting in a car with the Prime Alpha goes better than expected, but once they return to the pack house, things take a turn for Y/n.
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WARNINGS FOR CHAPTER 15! This is a heavy chapter. Please read before reading the full chapter. Thank you 💜💜💜
Chapter 15 - The Pack Meeting and Troubled Pasts
Y/n shares her history with Bangtan Pack and finds she isn't the only one with a dark family life.
As a paid member of my Patreon, you can read extra spicy smutty scenes and additional content and have early release benefits for each chapter!
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TO BE CONTINUED...
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Reader Asks
Has the Bangtan Pack been with a woman before?
How would The Bangtan Pack react to finding Y/n dancing?
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Additional Content
Meet Alpha Giant Flemish Rabbit Jungkook's Family
Patreon Artwork Poll Results (1)
American Mate (5) - Extended Scenting Scene (M)
American Mate (8) - Extended/ Additional Scene (M)
Take a look at Chapter 12, Hobi's Fire Red Suit.
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