#mason shepard-velasquez

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colors - halsey is the song for the shepard-velasquez siblings btw. i dont have the mass effect specific brain cells to elaborate why. just take my word for it.

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some post-me3 thoughts for the late night crowd before i can stop myself:

-some relationships being naturally rocky/odd after the normandy was away for a year (specifically koda and kaidan trying to define themselves and the absolute mess lali and jeff would be going through regardless of whether esme was around or not)

-leon and brione tackling politics one meeting at a time. brione trying to decide what she really wants out of life.

-supremacists are never gone for long and the other species are at the mercy of humans trapped in the system

-a cult following the reapers even after they died (questionably indoctrinated — or maybe not)

-the shep siblings relearning each other as people, and their family by extension

-koda is missing an eye and a foot. she has a prosthesis for both.

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kodelyn ‘my formative years were stolen from me because i had to live up to a gold standard and bypass my childhood because my parents were busy with my critically ill sister which meant i had to be way older than i shouldve been’ shepard v. citlali ‘my formative years were stolen from me because my entire family cemented me as an eight year old with “head problems” and never let me grow beyond that’ velasquez v. mason ‘my formative years were stolen from me because my parents didnt acknowledge me as someone who needed a different type of love and ended up suffocating and abandoning me at times i needed them’ shepard-velasquez make me crazy normal btw

the only one who had a childhood is the one who’s been eternally trapped in it while the other two never learned how to play and be a child. so they call the others immature because they think theyre in their big age when in reality — all of them needed to be allowed to be children, in a healthier way than their family allowed them to be.

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Shards of Glass

Intended to post this when I eventually finished and published the Citadel arc of Redamancy, but wrote it instead of actually working on aforementioned arc.

The Citadel Coup's aftermath from the perspective of one Priana T'Lara, and how she spends the night with a certain Mason Shepard.

General warnings for mentions of injury, blood, and a minor panic attack at the end from the protagonist.

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"Thirsty?"

Priana glances up over her shoulder from where she sits on the balcony, surprised to see her partner with two cups in hand emerging from the dim light of his apartment, along with a medical kit in the other. Unlike her, he'd dressed out of his uniform, hair tied back from his face and donning a t-shirt and sweats. He's barefoot, unafraid of the possible glass spray on his floor -- or maybe too tired to care. She nods wordlessly, taking one of them from him while rolling her sleeves up.

There's still smoke billowing out from levels beneath them, hours after the invasion had ended. Fires probably, still burning. The Presidium's a wreck. The Wards are a wreck. People are dead. Co-workers are dead. Her friends are dead. Her apartment is shot to hell, and nothing is working right. Nothing quite feels real, and she sips down the glass of water faster than she should. She has sixty billion questions fumbling around in her mind, but she can't muster up the strength to rationalize it all. Likely they'll get the botched report within the next few days, with as many redactions as she has years on her.

She wonders who the hell got paid off to make all this happen.

Her eyes are drawn to her partner as he sits down next to her, Mason's got a nasty gash down the length of his exposed arm, and she winces when she sees the bloodied bandage around his forearm. It's carefully wrapped up in gauze by now, but it'd still been ugly when one of the C-Sec meds had to do it for him before rushing off to the next officer who'd been hurt during the invasion.

One of the many mistakes she'd made today, and the one she regrets the most.

"How're you holding up?" He asks, unlatching the clips on the kit. She shrugs. As well as she could be doing. She feels like an elcor is sitting on her chest and she may as well be drowning in the Presidium pools with how heavy her head feels.

The painkillers the apologetic asari had given to her earlier hadn't worked nearly as well as she thought they would.

Still, she gives a half sarcastic smile to the human beside her. He has bigger problems right now, and one of them shouldn't be her passive aggressive nature. Shouldn't be her guilt weighing on his conscience.

Asari were presumably naturally unemotional once they got older. So many years meant they saw people die. Meant they understood that life was fleeting for other races. Meant they grew desensitized over the years that events like this rarely affected them unless it directly hurt their own.

Her's hadn't gotten the memo, because no matter how much she tries to distance herself from the incident, she can't help but get angry all over again. With herself, with citadel security, with Cerberus...it feels like she's about to burst. It didn't matter that there were humans who weren't going home tonight, it didn't matter more that there were turians who were unlikely to check in alongside her tomorrow. All of it felt like death, tearing away at her and leaving her raw.

She'd never been through something like this. Never seen all this destruction and death up close.

It hurts.

It's not supposed to hurt.

"We don't have to be back on duty until later afternoon tomorrow. Injuries and all." He pulls out the rubbing alcohol, tentatively reaching over to her own knuckles. At first she wants to pull away, she's not a child, she can clean her own wounds, but she figures it's equally childish not to let the man do his own job. She gestures for him to take it, and he does, "Bailey's scrambling to get enough officers on duty to flush any remaining Cerberus agents out, but he's brought in outside help where he can. The worst of it's over for now."

She bites her lip, the alcohol burning at her half healed skin. It fuzzes up, turning white as Mason gently dabs at each tear. From stray gunshots, torn right through her gloves before she could toss the offending enemies away. They weren't deep enough to scar for too many years, likely they wouldn't even be there by her tricentennial.

At least her blood had stopped oozing out of it. It'd stained her uniform in multiple places, and made her dizzy with how much she's pretty sure she lost in the fights down in the Wards. Her worse injuries were wrapped at the remains of Huerta, and she'd been sent off with antibiotics and enough painkillers to probably kill a Quarian.

Mason looks worse for wear. Humans always did, so injury prone, so delicate and fleshy. Most were a map of scars in her line of work, and he was no exception. A cut above his eye, one underneath the other. Likely her shields had protected him from anything potentially fatal, but her heart still seizes up at the gauze.

His gaze follows her's, and he sighs, pulling out his own roll to wrap around her hand, "You know T'Lara, humans are sturdier than you think."

"I know." She answers quietly. Scarily so. Almost every organ in their body could be replaced, and they bounced back extremely fast. Broken bones were no problem for them, skin could grow back faster than she thought possible and they did it all within a handful of years.

Usually she wouldn't fret. She'd had human companions before, but Mason is the anomaly.

She feels like she failed him, and it's eating at her.

She hates feeling weak. Exposed. Vulnerable. Hates feeling like this.

"That wasn't your fault." He says, uncapping the ointment and carefully applying it before rolling the fabric out, almost as if he's read her mind, "It'll heal."

Two minutes too long. She'd been stripped of her shields, her own blood dribbling down her chin from her nose and a rolled ankle making it difficult to gain any ground.

Two minutes to let her body regulate itself back to something functional. Relying on her C-Sec grade armor shield would've worked if she'd been able to grab it before the Cerberus soldiers had dropped into headquarters. She gestures to Mason to go ahead to scout, following behind to secure their exit.

"For all it's worth, I should be thanking you. For getting us as far as you did." He goes on, carefully turning her hand over to pull the gauze tightly and tear it with the shears he has nearby. For a man who made a living as a peacekeeper, he was surprisingly gentle. His hands aren't soft, but the way he's careful about her already injured hands makes her start to reluctantly relax into her friend's touch. He starts again, this time on her other hand, "We lived through another Citadel shakedown. Consider that a win."

"Barely."

He pauses, maybe startled, before starting again. Alcohol stings into her skin, staining the cotton ball blue, "The Reapers finally arrived from dark space, the Citadel got attacked by wayward black ops soldiers. I'm just glad I'm still alive. Glad I had a friend by my side."

She doesn't answer him, reaching around to grab her glass again with her free hand.

There were a startling amount of stitches needed.

She'd heard him cry out, and it'd made her heart stop. Made her blood run cold -- whatever the human expression was.

She'd never seen so much crimson liquid before.

Amber eyes meet her's, squeezed shut as he slips back behind cover, and she rushes over through the storm of bullets over her head. She can't remember what he said, what she said. There's blood spilling onto the ground beneath them and staining their uniforms. All she remembers is the white hot fear that had coursed through her veins, as well as the red hot anger that propelled her to shove her biotically-charged fist through an agent's helmet.

Mason's hand on her jaw startles her back to the present. The cotton ball dabs at the opening there, and she blinks away the pain of it. The world starts to spin for a moment, and she lets her eyes close long enough to ride out the moment of nausea.

"What are you thinking?" He asks quietly, "Writing an epic in that head of yours?"

"I don't know." She answers. It's the truth this time, and the storm of emotions is barely held back by her inability to articulate herself. There aren't proper words for it, not in the human tongue, "Can't really put it in words."

"Well, what do you do when you usually feel like...this?" He asks, glancing out over the balcony, "Not that you make a habit of living through a war every...century."

"I try not to. Asari don't go to war unless completely necessary, or if they can twist it to make it seem they weren't the aggressors." She rolls her eyes, the cooler air beginning to make her shiver. She meets his eyes, considering, then reconsidering, considering again, before she takes a breath to respond, "I melded with my mother whenever I was scared, whenever I was tired and afraid."

"Melded?" He asks, trifling through his box and producing a handful of plastic coverings, "Can't say I'm overly familiar with the concept."

She bites her tongue from the slight against him. He's playing dense by the tone of his voice and ever so slight expression shift, but it isn't common non Asari would understand the more intricate nature of it. She'd never bothered explaining it to him, "Sharing memories, emotions, occasionally both."

"Like talking, but without words." He finishes, careful not to irritate the wound more while placing the plastic covering over her jaw, "Something you do often?"

"I did. It's been years since I saw my mother last." She answers, "We Asari tend not to trust easily. That aspect at least, we often share with family or close friends. It becomes lonely, if not also stressful when you're raised primarily among them and then leave."

She can see the cogs turning in his head while he goes to wrap her hand, "I'm guessing you don't keep many Asari friends these days."

"There aren't many of us in C-Sec, less in Zakera where your kind are more common." She answers, biting her lip while he tightens it just so, "You're one of my few...friends."

He furrows his brow at that, finishing the dressing before glancing up at her with an unreadable expression, "You're one of the more popular officers, and you don't have friends? I see you out with them almost every night."

"Acquaintances and friends are two very different things."

"I suppose."

He finishes the dressing on her hand, pondering on her words. She doesn't give him the chance to finish that thought, her words tumbling out faster than she can catch them, "Can you--will you meld with me?"

He slowly blinks, mouth half open with his expression frozen into one of confusion. She thinks she's just crashed him, or overwhelmed him with the request. Priana doesn't make a habit of being this emotionally vulnerable with people, and surely she doesn't with Mason because of his reclusive nature.

But she feels like everything inside is eating at her, and threatening to flood over into something terrible if she can't-

"Ok."

Wait.

"Why not?"

What?

"Really?" She asks, her voice cracking in surprise. Priana's caught speechless for once, and she can't find any words. Mason shuffles around to sit cross-legged in front of her, putting away the few wrappers and unused equipment into his box.

He shrugs, propping his elbow up on his leg to lean his head against his hand, "It's been a long day, we've all got things we don't really know how to say. It's cool. Y'know, as long as you don't turn my brain into soup."

"That's not-" She cuts herself off, picking at her sleeves as she tries to find a response to the quip, "I won't turn your brain into soup, Mason."

"Then fine, work your magic."

"It's not magic." She says, slightly amused by the jest while she shifts to lean forward. This is one of her worse ideas. She's melded with a human once, someone she'd been close to when she was younger, but she's never really lead one before. Closing off certain memories, opening up others. There was more focus involved every time, but all she can do is breathe to try and choke back the tears that are already coming, "Come closer."

Tentatively, he does shuffle forward until they're close enough that she can gently pull him forward, leaning her head against his. For a split second, she staring directly into his eyes. Dark, confused, concerned. Yet somehow trusting all the while. Priana holds that thought, closing her eyes in preparation before it all goes dark.

She's trying not to overwhelm him, trying not to make him spiral. It was easy to accidentally flood another's emotions with your own, and Priana doesn't want to hurt him more than he already is. The balcony fades away, and she first tries the moment they met.

The black coffee stench that haunts the break room, and how he notes his name, how he takes his coffee. She files it away for later, fascinated by the little human that stands a few inches inches shorter than she does, and how young he is. Her interest -- and excitement for receiving a new partner. Whisked away to other experiences, their first day on the job together when he rattled off a small detail to a could-be robber to make him back down and leave without an arrest necessary. Her amazement, stunned at the fact he'd remembered all of it.

(A little embarrassed she hadn't, but nonetheless quite proud.)

The day he'd heard about his sister. How he'd been so down, so sad and broken. She'd shown up to his apartment with drinks in hand and as many snacks as she could carry in her bag. She hadn't known what he even liked, but had felt nothing but wanting to soothe him. To help, even if she didn't entirely know what was wrong. He hadn't actually explained the situation until days later, but the comforting feeling of being able to share time with other people again. Happiness, at having a new acquaintance that wasn't frustrated with her anymore. The bloom of a friendship she'd come to cherish.

Another day, when he'd come back with a minor fracture in one of his fingers during a chase in the Wards. Her fear creeps back like an intruder, her concern and worry for him. He'd been fine afterwards, but she sinks to the bottom of the river. Stuck on the memory. His finger had been at such an odd angle, and before the nurse could set it, his face had been twisted in some sort of pain. Clearly trying to hide it from her (he's always been like that), but she hadn't known what to do. Hadn't known how to help.

Her throat feels like it's closing up again.

Stuck. Stuck. Stuck.

She ends up back earlier today sooner than expected. Adrenaline coursing through her veins and barely more than a pistol in her hands. She feels naked without armor, but feels equally fiercely protective of the human that trails along behind her. She has to push forward, has to watch their back. Has to just get him out of here long enough for them to survive and gain ground with other officers.

Worried she wouldn't make it out of here. Worried he wouldn't make it out of here alive.

Sweat beading on her forehead. Heart pounding a million miles a second. There isn't enough of her energy left to pull up a barrier in time. She tries, and it sends her into more pain in her head.

She can feel the memory getting shaky again, more pronounced but panic-inducing. The gunshot rings out again, loud and enough to shatter her eardrums. She's scared all over again, her ribs feel like they're crushing her lungs, and she can't speak, can't breathe. Her body freezes for a split second.

She just wants him to be okay.

All she wanted in the moment was to go back, do something different. Have a shield ready, push through the pain and save him.

She can't quite get her memory back under control. Looping, looping all over again and it feels like her hands are sticky with blood. Doesn't know why. Doesn't know how. Over and over again she's seeing red. Hearing her friend cry out with a pained shout that tears at her heart. It feels like she's spinning all over again, in the middle of storm and--

It flickers, changes.

Like a flame reigniting, the memory shifts. Not under her primary control anymore and she tries to claw it back, but she's staring at herself. Somehow. There's pain twinging at the back of her mind but she can't tell from where. It's just afterwards, her form glowing iridescent blue and throwing her force forward.

Her hand slams through a helmet. The groan of it, the person, the thing, it's sickening.

Yet there's also pride. There's the warmth of relief, of amazement. There's care, as he'd asked if she was okay afterwards, to which she hadn't answered. Concern. Surprise as she--Mason continues on towards her.

Her heart is still pounding just underneath her ribcage, but she's left there. Stunned. Yet grateful. Pleased. She can't figure out what's just happened, but in the moment where her body begins responding again, she remembers the mnemonic to pull herself out of the meld.

Mason pulls away first, blinking rapidly as he falls back on his hands. She's frozen there, stuck to the ground while she watches him struggle with the aftermath. She doesn't really know how well melds work for other species, and she can't help him. Doesn't know what's wrong.

Can't say anything.

There's a blank spot there. She doesn't know what happens in between then and him touching her. Reaching for her hand, then her face. Checking her over, he gently nudges her, calling her name.

She chokes.

Priana doesn't realize she's crying until Mason reaches to wipe her tears away. It's painful, like a dam breaks and the water is threatening to wash her away into the depths and rapids.

He carefully pulls her into him, hugging her tight against him until she reciprocates. She can hear his heart beating like a drum against his chest underneath her head, soothing her and she tightens her grasp on his shirt.

There are shards of glass sparkling against the light of Presidium on the balcony, twinkling like stars against the metal. Mason's just barely avoided it, sitting there with her in his arms.

"Just please don't go."

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kodelyn shepard (32) + citlali velasquez (26) + mason shepard-velasquez (23)

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For the past, present, and future thing: once again for the Shepard-Velasquez siblings (any of Kodee, Citlali, or Mason for any question) I request Past 3, Past 12, Present 5 & 6, and Future 4. Also I'd like to ask a twist on Future 4 with what's something they didn't expect would happen but actually did.

Finally getting cracking on this one after sitting on it for a month. Why? I don't know.

(An extra edit two weeks after that one, finally I'm finishing this)

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3. Describe their family. Who raised them, and who had the most impact on them? Did they have any siblings? Who were they closest to? What were the family dynamics like?

The Shepard-Velasquez siblings were primarily raised by their parents, Hannah and Joaquin. Easily described as a strict but ultimately loving mother and an easy-going Alliance contractor. I'd argue that impact depends on the child, as Hannah had the largest impact on Kodelyn and Citlali, but Joaquin probably had the most impact on his son. Family dynamics were messy, between Hannah's unresolved generational trauma and the upheaval that Citlali's biotics caused, the easiest way to describe it would be "too little, too late". Everything went wrong because so many little mistakes built up and brought the whole house down. No one lives at home anymore, even though they talk about it all the time.

5. What kind of people do they usually interact with? Who are their friends, the people they look up to/trust, and who are their “associates”?

The Normandy crew and the siblings they interact with most:

Kodelyn: Kaidan, Miranda, Liara, Garrus, Grunt

Citlali: Joker, Tali, Jack, Kasumi, Mordin.

Mason: Thane, Samara, James, Jacob.

(Mason I think is interesting only because he tends to gravitate towards those that are both more introverted, but also ones with significant years on them compared to him. With the exemption of James, he does appreciate the wisdom they have. In the case of James, he can sort of relate to him, and the other takes Mason under his wing once they meet.)

6. What is their current relationship with their family?

Current relationships are likely something Revival will attempt to expound upon, but its focused heavily on healing. Not quite forgiveness (there are some things sorry just can't fix), instead repairing what they can and trying to be better in the future. There's some stubbornness on both Citlali and Hannah's parts (after all, both think they did the best with the situation they were dealt) and Mason hesitates a lot on trying to be vulnerable with his family again after they hurt him. Koda is being pulled in thirty different directions at once, and inadvertently uses it to avoid harder conversations and situations. Relying on each other is a little too much of a request and they stumble around a lot around certain subjects, but when asked, they do say they care about each other in their own ways. Whether that's still knowing the others favorite flavor of cake or just knowing instinctively how they take their coffee. Somehow. After a whole decade.

4. What’s something they were sure would happen in their future but didn’t?

Koda was pretty sure she'd end up right where her mother is, a Rear Admiral commanding a ship. Likely unmarried, considering how she tended not to keep many ties when she was younger, without children. While she remains with the Alliance, she doesn't end up an Admiral. She's content enough with promotion to Captain a few years later, and her relationship with Kaidan progresses to marriage eventually. Maggie joins them a handful of years later.

Citlali is pretty firm on how she'd believed she would've ended up on the Citadel working a dead end job or doing party tricks for as long as she could hold out. Didn't think she'd see the Reaper invasion, didn't think her sister would die, didn't think she'd end up living on a warship for nearly a year or becoming a secondary pilot to said warship. She did all of that and ended up marrying the other pilot. And had a kid. She's seen exciting times and would really prefer if they'd stop.

And Mason? Mason's just pleased he lives to see thirty after the Reapers touch down. He never really thought he'd have as solid of a relationship with his sisters as he eventually does, nor that he'd have anyone who really cared about him emotionally like Priana does. He never really thought he could be pleased with his life, but he is.

Thank you for asking!! <3

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Ya know i'm curious, you mentioned you don't delve much into astrology but do your ocs each have a unique sign?

A unique one? They all have their own signs, if that you mean :D! (I had to hunt around for a site that’d let me enter ‘February 2nd, 2160′ as a valid date without an actual location lmao)

Kodelyn is an Aries, as well as an Aries in Moon Citlali is an Aquarius, as well as a Sagittarius in Moon Mason is a Capricorn, as well as a Pisces in Moon Brione is a Scorpio, as well as a Leo in Moon Annika is a Cancer, as well as a Libra in Moon AJ is a Capricorn, as well as a Sagittarius in Moon Danny is a Pisces, as well as a Capricorn in Moon Nia is a Leo, as well as a Gemini in Moon Lyssa and Anders are a pair of Taurus’, as well as Pisces in Moon

Interesting, isn’t it? You’d have to tell me whether that’s in line with their personalities, I don’t know lol

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and to close out the night, i am thinking about how many times kodelyn promised she’d be there for her younger siblings and then they were left to fend for themselves in the wake of her death. that ‘i’ll always be here for you and i’ll love you no matter what’ turns into a rather bitter reminder that nothing lasts forever.

while mason realizes he’s been relying too heavily on kodelyn and her legacy, citlali...only doubles down, especially when miranda reaches out to her. yet even then, the cracks are there. citlali’s going to have to eventually stop idolizing her older sister at some point, it’s just a matter of when.

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priana sometimes thinks about the fact she finally found a friend that isn't in direct control of her life and then also thinks about the fact he's also going to die within the time it took for her to work (and subsequently get fired) at her last job on illium.

i just think her and mason's friendship is very wholesome and then i also get very sad about their difference in ages and aging.

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why come some of your shepards go by velasquez?

I'm going to presume you're asking 'why' some of them go by Velasquez? I think?

Citlali and Mason aren't Shepards in the traditional sense, they're one of my canon Shepard's younger half siblings. Same mother, but different father between the three of them. Where Kodelyn's parents were both Shepards, Hannah kept her surname when she remarried. Joaquin's surname is Velasquez, and Citlali took his name. Mason kept both.

I hope that answered your question!

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For the OC ask: OC dealer's choice. 1, 15, 38.

Rolling the dice again...Mason!

1. What is your character's reaction to a minor inconvenience? Such as getting their jumper caught on a door handle?

Not much can set Mason off, but do believe that every time something like that happens, he’s internally screaming. He’s not as unbothered by minor inconveniences as you would think, but a deep breath and refocusing is usually enough. Usually. After particularly bad days, he might not be as reasonable about tiny things though/

15. What is the first thing people notice about them?

The first thing someone would notice about him is that, like his sister, he’s covered in freckles. Unlike her, his don’t stand out as much, but they’re definitely a rather obvious feature of his. The second may be the scar that starts just below his chin on the left side, and disappears below the collar of most shirts. ‘An accident at work’ is the only thing he’ll tell anyone when they ask.

38. How does your character unwind after a long day?

Surprisingly (or at least, to his family), he likes to unwind with other people around. Quiet people (he is not the type to go out on any day of the week), but it’s good not to be alone when he grew up with quite the present family. He prefers the company of one of his co-workers, an Asari he refers to as T’Lara on good days. They’ll go for takeout sometimes, but other days he sticks around her apartment for dinner. It’s not unusual to find him home with her, but they’re not romantically involved. She’s louder than most of his friends, but they make an interesting pair. They have a similar taste in vids, and they compliment each other well when the occasion arises in the lower wards.

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22 and 25 for mason??

soft headcanon meme

22. What does your muse love about their crush / love?

Mason's never really taken the time to fall in love. He's too much like his eldest sister in that regard. Well, up until she was assigned to the SR-1. He's had good friends, more acquaintances since he joined C-SEC, but never a partner. Would he like one? He thinks he would. He has a pretty prickly exterior, but he does like people. But for now, he's fine with Priana dropping by for movie nights and lunch between shifts. Some have asked if they're dating, neither of them want to.

25. How would your muse react to being handed a baby?

O! I've wanted to write this for a while lol

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Mason's subconscious is protesting the question before his niece is handed to him, but he ends up accepting in the end. He's not sure why. He hadn't had the chance to do so prior, so he's facing his fears now.

And he nearly freezes when she's placed in his arms.

Children and him had never mixed very well. They're fragile, terribly so, and he spends his days doing things that'd probably make him wish he were in a different career a few decades from now. Unlike his sisters, he'd never had any siblings younger than him. There was no knowledge for him to rely on.

Can she tell he's terrified of dropping her? Her big jade eyes don't betray any fear, yet they're wide and curious, wandering over his face and her surroundings. He's not sure whether a kid her age can smile back at him, but he does so unconsciously. How couldn't he? She's adorable.

His tone startles him, as soft as it is, "Hi, you."

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wip whenever.

also because wow i really need to get out of my own head sometimes lol. take a wip from another redamancy chapter because jfc i’m really chatty today.

mass effect 3. spoilers. yes, that one argument i asked about a while ago lol.

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“And what, you want to put me six feet under yourself, space me again given the chance?” She retorts, offended and taken aback, “I’m sure the Reapers could arrange that for you.”

“That’s not —” His expression softens for just a moment and he grimaces, placing the datapad down on the counter. The tone he uses isn’t one she can place, something in between both sad and angry at the same time.  He’s hurt, and she wants to take back what she’d said. 

At the same time, she isn’t sure he deserves her courtesy.

“I don’t know what you are, or who, not since you died. To be entirely honest, I don’t want to. And I sure as hell don’t know what you’re capable of anymore.”

“Mason-”

“Just get out. I only came back for a meal, not some baring of feelings,” He answers, “I’m not like her, I didn’t treat you like a pariah while you were gone. I moved on. And I don’t owe you a spot in my life again.”

Kodelyn stands there for just a moment, mostly frustrated. Though she restrains the desire to continue arguing a point he has no intention of backing down from. She isn’t sure whether to say she’s sorry — and if she does, what for? The fact she had no control over what’d transpired the last three years of her life? Seemed like a baseless way to placate him. It wasn’t as if she’d asked to be brought back to life, and be forced to work for Cerberus. No. And it isn’t as if she has any of the answers that he’d want to hear to begin with.

But this is her brother. He wouldn’t want to know all the empty platitudes and irrelevant details. She doesn’t know what else to give him to make that look in his eyes wash away.

“What else do you want from me? An apology? For still being alive?”

“Don’t twist this back on me and make me seem like I don’t care whether you’re dead or not. You were the one who tried to force yourself back into a life you already left. I don’t have an answer for you, nor do I owe you anything.” Mason responds, “You want to give me an empty apology? Go ahead, it won’t mean anymore to me than what you’ve done before.”

“I-“ Kodelyn isn’t quite sure how to even defend herself, or whether she even can. Doesn’t he understand that it wasn’t a conscious choice for her to even make? Does he get how difficult it is for her to try and find some shred of normalcy again?, “You wanted to see me. And now you’re trying to cast me aside?”

“I wanted confirmation you were alive. Now that I know, I didn’t need you to come all the way here and be patronizing. You can leave now, by the way.” Mason says, quieter this time but with enough bite that she still recoils a bit from it, “And stop calling. I’m not answering anymore, and I have a job that means far more to me than you.”

“So that’s it? You see me once in three years and decide I’m not worth your trouble anymore?”

“If that’s the way you want to tell the story to Citlali when you see her again, I won’t stop you. I don’t care, do whatever you want. You aren’t my concern anymore.”

She doesn’t get another word in edgewise before he leaves, disappearing down the hall. The click of the door sounds, and she’s left standing in the middle of the living room.

[crqstalite]

six sentence sunday.

tagged by @actualanxiousswampwitch + @spaceprincealenko !

tagging anyone who sees this, because i was silly and waited until the end of the day to post this. i went over on the limit on the second bit, but i like maya too much to cut her off.

a bit from redamancy,

At first, she’s sure he’s about to tell her to get out, or stalk off somewhere else, but he doesn’t, “You died, Shepard. And then you thought you could waltz back right to where you were as if that didn’t upturn the galaxy. That’s not how the world works. You should be dead, and the galaxy should’ve moved on. And yet, here you are.”

-

and another bit from lamb to the slaughter,

Maya’s dark eyes flicker dangerously, “You’re missing the point, Lali. You know who helped you when you needed it most? Me. You can’t trust the Alliance, Conatix, whoever the fuck. They’re preying on you reaching out blindly for something to ‘fix’ you. You can’t be fixed, they did this, and you want to give them the chance to break more of it? You don’t know what they’ll do to you. Hell, who’s to say that this Grissom won’t just finish the job, what Jump Zero started?”

[crqstalite]

REALLY???

tumblr.hell didn’t even wait for me to post it before it ate it. @random-oc-questions-fairy​​

You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! May your day be filled with cake, friends, and good vibes! 🎉🎈🎂 :D ~☆

What is your character's birth date? Is there anything significant about that date? What is their star sign?

I don’t think I ever gave a birthday (or mentioned) to anyone beyond Kodelyn’s canon one (April 11th, 2154) so here’s everyone elses’! And also, I’m not big on star signs so if anyone else has something to add about it, go ahead. I definitely didn’t give a lot of thought to them when I gave them their various dates.

Citlali’s birthday is February 2nd, 2160, making her an Aquarius.Mason’s birthday is on December 30th, 2163, making him a Capricorn.Brione’s birthday is on October 24th, 2152, making her a Scorpio.Annika’s birthday is on June 26th, 2156, making her a Cancer.AJ’s birthday is January 11th, 2154, making her a Capricorn.Danny’s birthday is March 9th, 2154, making him a Pisces.Nia’s birthday is August 3rd, 2154, making him a Leo.Lyssa and Anders’ shared birthday is April 27th, 2163, making them a pair of Taurus kids.

There isn’t a lot of significance to any of those dates only that Mason shares a birthday with his father. Danny and I share a star sign.

(Tumblr??? Don’t eat this)

[crqstalite]

I posted 421 times in 2022

74 posts created (18%)

347 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zenyeetaa

@thomas-the-goat-of-satan

@alenkokaidans

@inquisitorlavcllan

@york-morgans

I tagged 226 of my posts in 2022

Only 46% of my posts had no tags

#mass effect - 21 posts

#original character - 9 posts

#oc - 9 posts

#kim's art &lt;3 - 6 posts

#swtor - 6 posts

#dragon age - 5 posts

#my art - 5 posts

#citlali velasquez - 5 posts

#brione petrakis - 4 posts

#marvel - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#edit bc i kept thinking: i understand that its *probably* a loose examination of what the adultification of children (especially teen girls

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

and the finished product. a redraw of this piece from three years ago.

-

"It seems introductions are in order." Lana states, stepping out of the metaphorical and literal shadows with their red-jacketed savior a few steps behind. Zanya shifts her weight back to her uninjured foot, taking stock of her surroundings. Beniko had lead her into a trap, whether knowingly or unknowingly and now there's a Republic spy with her. Considering the rest of her company, she wonders how long she had her working in tandem with the opposite faction. She catches the gaze of the cerulean eyed Jedi to her right, long enough to get a sense of her Force Signature.

Closed off, yet hiding something that simmers just below the surface. Pulsating, as if daring for her to seek it out. Reaching out does little, but Zanya can't help but feel like she's felt her somewhere before. Somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind she recognizes the feeling, just barely.

Fascinating.

The Jedi knows she's staring. Feels her, maybe. She averts her eyes, just as she turns her head to look at her.

"Master Qelu, glad you're back in one piece."

13 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#4

Shards of Glass

Intended to post this when I eventually finished and published the Citadel arc of Redamancy, but wrote it instead of actually working on aforementioned arc.

The Citadel Coup's aftermath from the perspective of one Priana T'Lara, and how she spends the night with a certain Mason Shepard.

General warnings for mentions of injury, blood, and a minor panic attack at the end from the protagonist.

-

"Thirsty?"

Priana glances up over her shoulder from where she sits on the balcony, surprised to see her partner with two cups in hand emerging from the dim light of his apartment, along with a medical kit in the other. Unlike her, he'd dressed out of his uniform, hair tied back from his face and donning a t-shirt and sweats. He's barefoot, unafraid of the possible glass spray on his floor -- or maybe too tired to care. She nods wordlessly, taking one of them from him while rolling her sleeves up.

There's still smoke billowing out from levels beneath them, hours after the invasion had ended. Fires probably, still burning. The Presidium's a wreck. The Wards are a wreck. People are dead. Co-workers are dead. Her friends are dead. Her apartment is shot to hell, and nothing is working right. Nothing quite feels real, and she sips down the glass of water faster than she should. She has sixty billion questions fumbling around in her mind, but she can't muster up the strength to rationalize it all. Likely they'll get the botched report within the next few days, with as many redactions as she has years on her.

She wonders who the hell got paid off to make all this happen.

Her eyes are drawn to her partner as he sits down next to her, Mason's got a nasty gash down the length of his exposed arm, and she winces when she sees the bloodied bandage around his forearm. It's carefully wrapped up in gauze by now, but it'd still been ugly when one of the C-Sec meds had to do it for him before rushing off to the next officer who'd been hurt during the invasion.

One of the many mistakes she'd made today, and the one she regrets the most.

"How're you holding up?" He asks, unlatching the clips on the kit. She shrugs. As well as she could be doing. She feels like an elcor is sitting on her chest and she may as well be drowning in the Presidium pools with how heavy her head feels.

The painkillers the apologetic asari had given to her earlier hadn't worked nearly as well as she thought they would.

Still, she gives a half sarcastic smile to the human beside her. He has bigger problems right now, and one of them shouldn't be her passive aggressive nature. Shouldn't be her guilt weighing on his conscience.

Asari were presumably naturally unemotional once they got older. So many years meant they saw people die. Meant they understood that life was fleeting for other races. Meant they grew desensitized over the years that events like this rarely affected them unless it directly hurt their own.

Her's hadn't gotten the memo, because no matter how much she tries to distance herself from the incident, she can't help but get angry all over again. With herself, with citadel security, with Cerberus...it feels like she's about to burst. It didn't matter that there were humans who weren't going home tonight, it didn't matter more that there were turians who were unlikely to check in alongside her tomorrow. All of it felt like death, tearing away at her and leaving her raw.

She'd never been through something like this. Never seen all this destruction and death up close.

It hurts.

It's not supposed to hurt.

"We don't have to be back on duty until later afternoon tomorrow. Injuries and all." He pulls out the rubbing alcohol, tentatively reaching over to her own knuckles. At first she wants to pull away, she's not a child, she can clean her own wounds, but she figures it's equally childish not to let the man do his own job. She gestures for him to take it, and he does, "Bailey's scrambling to get enough officers on duty to flush any remaining Cerberus agents out, but he's brought in outside help where he can. The worst of it's over for now."

She bites her lip, the alcohol burning at her half healed skin. It fuzzes up, turning white as Mason gently dabs at each tear. From stray gunshots, torn right through her gloves before she could toss the offending enemies away. They weren't deep enough to scar for too many years, likely they wouldn't even be there by her tricentennial.

At least her blood had stopped oozing out of it. It'd stained her uniform in multiple places, and made her dizzy with how much she's pretty sure she lost in the fights down in the Wards. Her worse injuries were wrapped at the remains of Huerta, and she'd been sent off with antibiotics and enough painkillers to probably kill a Quarian.

Mason looks worse for wear. Humans always did, so injury prone, so delicate and fleshy. Most were a map of scars in her line of work, and he was no exception. A cut above his eye, one underneath the other. Likely her shields had protected him from anything potentially fatal, but her heart still seizes up at the gauze.

His gaze follows her's, and he sighs, pulling out his own roll to wrap around her hand, "You know T'Lara, humans are sturdier than you think."

"I know." She answers quietly. Scarily so. Almost every organ in their body could be replaced, and they bounced back extremely fast. Broken bones were no problem for them, skin could grow back faster than she thought possible and they did it all within a handful of years.

Usually she wouldn't fret. She'd had human companions before, but Mason is the anomaly.

She feels like she failed him, and it's eating at her.

She hates feeling weak. Exposed. Vulnerable. Hates feeling like this.

"That wasn't your fault." He says, uncapping the ointment and carefully applying it before rolling the fabric out, almost as if he's read her mind, "It'll heal."

Two minutes too long. She'd been stripped of her shields, her own blood dribbling down her chin from her nose and a rolled ankle making it difficult to gain any ground.

See the full post

14 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#3

Starting off the year right with Citlali again! This time likely catching her breath after a night in the Wards with a friend, or two.

15 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

#2

Happy Year In Review 2021!!

I've certainly lived in interesting times and here's my eventual result of that. (Can't believe it's already been a year -- 2020)

WORD COUNT:

This year I wrote a total of 127,820 words (92,789 published, 35,031 unpublished). Honestly I'm a little disappointed, I thought I did more than that. Given, it's 2021, the year of crises left and right, but...yeesh. That's less than I did back in 2019. In like, two or three months.

Most of the year was out of my control though, and I'm still standing. I count it as a win.

The Breakdown:

My Mass Effect works took up about 3/4s of the actual word count, at 112,020 words written (and 22,934 unpublished, along with most of what I haven't released for Redamancy yet). My goal this year was to finish Redamancy but it had other ideas, so I'm maybe halfway through actually finishing it? That could be another year.

My Arcane works (what a surprise), are all still unpublished with posting dates being sometime in early 2021. However, they're 12,097 words by themselves so far, so it's okay. I didn't expect to end up writing for League anytime soon, but here we are.

My singular Dragon Age work this year was Bones, which was 1,879 words. Not surprised I didn't have more, it's Dragon Age. That and I lost all of the games when my account was hacked earlier in the year. Not a lot of motivation to write for this fandom.

My singular Mind Blind work this year was "Do It For Them", which was 1,824 words. It's been a while since I've really interacted with the IF fandom, so that's pretty unsurprising.

New Things I Tried:

Not much I don't think? Redamancy has actually been beta'd, every single chapter currently published has had a second pair of eyes over it (which is such a big help, you'd never notice how many misspellings you miss yourself), but beyond that I didn't really have the time or mental energy to do much else. EXCEPT for starting to write for Arcane. Never thought I'd do anything relating to League.

(God I hate the culture around League so much.)

Favorite Thing I Wrote This Year:

Probably Letters Home? Not super sure why but it is one of the few times I've genuinely liked something I wrote mainly in a non-OC's perspective. It's a working point for Joker and Citlali, which are two characters I hesitate to write together for whatever reason.

(That and it's criminal how Tiptree and Joker's feelings related to it are just swept under the rug -- it's criminal!)

Favorite Fic I Read This Year:

@ljandersen's Sideways. Easily one of my favorites (even if I'm still behind a handful of chapters -- and mentioned it last year), just for the characterization alone. I absolutely love how their Kaidan(s) and Shepard(s) interact with each other, and the little details that turn out to be bigger than anyone would've guessed. I absolutely adore the ever-growing future that they've weaved into the story, as well as how they expanded the Mass Effect universe into something all their own. I'm really looking forward to seeing where the rest of the story goes.

@shockdowndefiance's A Momentary Lapse In Judgement. Though I really loved just about every work in their library (Allison Shepard my beloved) this one really stuck with me because it really examined the coup for what it was logically and what Bioware couldn't quite do, especially for a Kaidanmancing Shepard. Allison's universe extends Mass Effect something emotionally compelling, and this fic is probably one of the best examples of that. I still absolutely love how they resolved it, as well as how Allison's character really shines through here, both as Commander Shepard as well as -- well, a regular human being. It's painful at times, but also terribly comforting.

@swaps55's Sonata. I'm such a sucker for in-between moment Mass Effect stories, especially Shenko centered ones. Sam Shepard is such a compelling character, and his relationship with Kaidan is certainly one that makes you so very mushy on the inside. Swaps' writing style is something that'll suck you in and never quite let you go, and their attention to detail is something to be admired. (Which is why I was up until the middle of the night finishing it -- definitely worth the read!)

& (last but definitely not least)

@lyrishadow's Between Times. I still read it time to time just because it makes me happy and amuses me greatly. It was a birthday gift from them to me and it still makes me really happy. I really love how they weaved both of our Shepards together to write something so nice, and how they took the time out of their life to do it.

Writing Goals For 2022

Be less on myself about writing. I was genuinely feeling so guilty and completely paralyzed out of having any fun the entire months of October, November and December just because I hadn't gotten any substantial writing done. Which shouldn't be how I feel, writing is a hobby of mine. Just because I was more likely to reach for my stylus or even one of my games than I was my bookmark for my longfic doesn't mean I'm a failure, even if I would've liked to see more progress. I mean, hell I'm a high school student who's about to graduate in a couple months -- you'd think I'd be able to afford myself the same grace I give my peers.

(It's the validation. I live off of it. I shouldn't, but I do.)

Word Of Thanks

Thanking the lovely Lock + Key writers because you guys are lovely people, (@delinquest , @glyndwrwrites , @lnewmanwrites , @tayareum , @thesupremepuff + @colonelpknight [can't tag you]) thank you for going on such a wild ride with me this year, its been so freaking fun working with you all!

The lovely @mallaidhsomo for their contributions to Redamancy and all of the useful advice they've provided me with. Along with the rest of the Bioware Fanfiction server, I might not interact much but its a very comforting place to be. <3

@that-wasnt-so-bad + @kaidans-alenkos + @mariaalenkoshepard + @actualanxiousswampwitch + @oakstar519 for being the people I always love seeing in my notifs and inbox, and the people who always have the best headcanons for the canon characters and their own.

@sheyshen + @greencrusader13 + @anchanted-one + @naaklasolus for always being there to listen to my rambly nonsense in our development channel. And responding with your own OCs because I love them very much.

See the full post

27 notes - Posted December 31, 2021

My #1 post of 2022

"There is nothing stronger than a woman who rebuilt herself." - Hannah Gadsby.

-

Surprise! I'm your secret santa!! 🥳

My gift to @findingblissinignorance of their Ardelia Shepard!! I loved working on her because of her unique character and look, as well as the many tattoos you included on her pinterest board. Thank you for allowing me to draw her this year!

Happy Holidays! <3

45 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

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