#mary/shannon ship

[hotsaucevitamins]

Angstober Day 1 - Again

Warrior Nuns never last 🥲

[bravetigerwildwolf]

We can make a difference! If we fight together and not let Netflix cancel another Show with Strong Female Lead, Sapphics and POC. Representation Matters!!!

[iagreewithlilithsrightsnwrongs]

Band AU Mary is just, “would you look at these fools!” And Shannon is all, “shh, come to bed.”

shannon's like "shhh dont ruin the fun let them figure it out"

mary: "but shannon. consider. im sick of this shit."

shannon: "they remind me of us at the start dont they :)?"

mary: "............ how dare you make me sappy so quick. fuck you." n then kisses her forehead very tenderly with a frown on her face. shannons all smiles ofc, she knows she just made mary all soft now

[justoneofthosedays16]

Not me having a wayhaught wip, sanvers wip, 2-3 avatrice wips, all rattling around my brain and STILL sitting here wanting to write a Warrior Nun fanfic exploring how half of Mary's initial faith in Ava is leftover from her faith/love for Shannon.....like the idea of her thinking about how if the halo chose Shannon and the halo chose Ava that there must be something to it, that things that she loved about Shannon must be present in Ava just guts me, okay??

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buddie: 4x13 Recap in preparation for 7x9 (other ships included too)

Ok... I'm intrigued for the last two episodes now after reading the journalists' commentary who've previewed the episode. MG said 7x9 and 7x10 should have been billed as a two part finale and the GIF he used to describe it in one word was "Pain". Also, KP said it seems like they're picking up "old threads" that weren't properly explored. Well... I REMEMBER THERE'S A LOT THAT WASN'T EXPLORED BETWEEN BUCK AND EDDIE 👀 (more on them below).

I've been thinking about 4x13 and the whereabouts of all the 'ships during that episode to parallel them with 7x9 and here goes. (Buddie is last just like they were at the end of 4x13).

Bathena

4x13 - Bobby and Athena were on the outs because in 4x12, Athena mentioned after she was attacked by Jeffrey in 3x17, she was offered early retirement but she turned it down. She never told Bobby about it. They ARGUED for the first time in 4x13 and they were still arguing when Hen called Bobby in 4x14 to tell him Eddie had been shot.

7x9 - Bobby's struggling with his past and Athena's worried about him just like she was worried in 4x13 that he was hiding something from her. It's possible from the 7x9 sneak peek that Bobby might be having delusions of someone being after him.

Henren

4x13 - Toni (Hen's mother) got sick and she fainted. Hen's medical school classmates helped her figure out what was wrong with her. After she was admitted to the hospital, Toni told Hen, the medical field needed more African American doctors.

7x9 - Hen and Karen have a foster child named Mara. Reminder, they had just given Nia back to her mother earlier in season 4 and Hen struggled with it because she didn't want her to go back to Evangeline.

Madney

4x13 - Maddie was struggling with PPD and she was going through it. She was still going to work but Chimney wasn't aware of how much she was struggling until she told him. Maddie quit her job in 4x14 and in 7x7 she told Amir she used to be a nurse.

After 7x6, Madney is in a happy place so it's unclear what, if anything, they could be struggling with in 7x9.

Buddie

4x13 - Buck and Eddie’s storylines were the most intense, the most intertwined and the biggest. Reminder, Eddie didn't breakup with AF after Carla told him to follow his heart and not Chris'.

AF found out Charlie's mother was swindling people out of their money which led to Eddie figuring out she was poisoning him.

He told Buck and Chimney about it and Buck didn't even put on his uniform, he just left with Eddie.

Captain Jeshan Mehta and the 133 were dispatched to the call and Buck drove the Batallion SUV to the scene with Eddie in the passenger's seat.

Then the 3 minutes and 17 seconds that changed everything. It showed the audience that Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and if they missed it, they should rewatch the episode.

Eddie reached for Buck and in 4x14, he asked him if he was hurt.

7x9 - Eddie didn't breakup with Maris*l in 7x5 like he should have the same way he didn't breakup with AF in 4x13 like he should have.

The 133 will be on a scene in 7x9 or 7x10 and it'll be interesting to see if Captain Mehta will be there too.

Also, Eddie’s either having delusions that the woman he met either looks like Shannon or he thinks she does. This parallel with Bobby appears to be mental instead of physical this time, so if history is about to repeat itself, then it's likely Bobby and Eddie could both be suffering from delusions. Reminder, Bathena and Buddie ALWAYS PARALLEL EACH OTHER.

If TM is really about to redo a scene for Buck and Eddie that will rival the shooting and explore EVERYTHING THE F*X NETWORK WOULDN'T LET HIM DO WITH BUCK AND EDDIE THREE YEARS AGO THEN... THIS IS ABOUT TO BE EPIC!

IYKYK Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and if Eddie gets hurt again, EVERYBODY IS GOING TO SEE IT THIS TIME INCLUDING T*MMY, HELENA, RAMON AND THE 118.

The will was revealed in 4x14 and maybe it's meaning will be explored in 7x10 along with the reason why Eddie waited a whole year to tell Buck about it. It's possible it will come into play again before the end of the season, especially if Eddie's badly injured this time and the Diaz parents show up. If Helena thinks she's taking Chris to El Paso with them, she'll be WRONG because Buck’s his legal guardian.

Reminder, the 133 was there the last time but this time they'll be with their found family and Buck can't hide his feelings for Eddie, like EVER especially when he's injured or hurt.

In 7x6, the foreshadowing was there when he thought Eddie was dead while he was lying in the bathtub.

These are pictures of Buck’s face whenever Eddie’s hurt.

T*mmy doesn't have a chance with Buck because Buck and Eddie gave each other their hearts a long time ago and I can't wait until T*mmy sees it with his own eyes so he'll be gone. He won't be able to pretend Buck was trying to get his attention anymore because Buck’s going to go nuts if Eddie's hurt again. His heart will be on full display and there won't be any denying who he loves.

Buck loves Eddie Diaz and Eddie loves Evan Buckley!

I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!

[simplykorra]

I really like whenever you post thoughts about what you love about characters (specifically Ava), so I was just curious about what you love about Bea? I’ve never loved both characters in a ship like this and I think they’re such a perfect complement to each other

when you can find a ship where both characters are able to occupy space in your mind and both of them give you that buzz when you think about them, then you've hit the jackpot

it's not always been the case with my ships - the only other one besides avatrice that i could say do that for me are korra and asami

as far as bea goes, i really love the different layers she has and seeing them uncovered, especially in season 2

but also the little bits we see in season 1. it's clear from the jump that bea is reserved and by the book and has her routines and patterns and that whole bit with shannon in the start and how she's trying so desperately to stay by the book because if she doesn't then she'll break - and it makes you wonder if that moment ever happened before ava showed up

did bea ever break? did she allow herself the chance to mourn any of her sisters? there's a post and a theory i've seen that bea was in line to be the next mother superion and i think that tracks so well because she is a survivor and a planner and you just know she knows everyone and everything about the order because she doesn't know how to function without all the information

and i think that's her fate until a certain ava silva shows up and throws her world into orbit

we know ava isn't the first person to bring out bea's heart - we see it in that photo of bea/mary/lilith, but it's clear that things between all of them had shifted and bea probably blamed herself a bit for it (because that's what she does) so when ava shows up and beatrice immediately just...tries with her, it's probably terrifying.

then she opens up to ava, probably too much, but holy shit ava has this big heart and sees who she really is and isn't scared or disgusted, no ava tells her she's beautiful, and for the first time in bea's life her attraction to someone doesn't bring pain - it brings her this tiny bit of hope and from that moment on, beatrice fully commits herself to ava and i love her devotion.

i love that when beatrice tells ava that she won't leave her side, she never does, literally until ava has to leave her

as their relationship grows and we see more sides of bea, it really does let her personality shine. i fully believe there is a cheeky and almost incredible sense of humor inside of her that she holds in all the time and ava brings little bits of her out of her - which is what i love about bea - there's so much life inside of her, she just chooses to keep it hidden away from 98% of the world, but those who get to see it fall in love with her

then we get to season 2 and holy shit beatrice is in normal clothes and living with ava and fighting for her gay life and she's just so cute and still so devoted, but also letting herself relax a little and even enjoy the simpler things

THEN...then we see her dancing and we, like ava, see that there is so much more inside of her and to her and that she has this spirit that could change the world if it was ever allowed to be set free

for me too, the love for beatrice comes from when they come back to the order in season 2 and while she puts her habit back on, it's so clear that she isn't the same girl

she is no longer sister beatrice, but just beatrice, of the order and her devotion is no longer to god, but to her own heart - a heart that belongs to ava and she devotes herself to protecting the girl she loves, chooses her even over the mission itself

bea's heart is too big for her own chest at times and she has such an amazing depth that still feels mostly uncovered, but kristina performs her so well that you see how deep her character goes without having all the details yet

ava is the centerpiece of warrior nun, she's the heart of the show for sure - but beatrice is the backbone, the steady presence that keeps everything upright and aligned, it all falls apart without her and that weight is on her shoulders always and she knows that

yet, she can't ignore herself anymore and carry that weight for free, not when she knows what it's like to fall in love and finally chooses herself because of it

when ava comes back, beatrice will be ready to love her the way they both deserve

[sisterdivinium]

You know, for a show with so many female characters that so many of us love given how they all get time in the spotlight one way or another and they fill that time up rather wonderfully since they are deeper and more developed than what we're used to seeing in general media, it is peculiar (to say the least) to see so few "alternative" ships to the main one.

I'm not saying the canon ship doesn't deserve its attention -- I'm wondering instead why the canon ship and it alone seem to guide the WN fans who just so happen to enjoy writing/reading fic or fanart or whatever.

You'd think all these cool women would inspire more ships or combinations thereof, but those of us who aren't invested in avatrice just... Float along, around one another, ignored (and, yes, mostly undisturbed too; being unpopular does have its advantages and that includes a lot less weirdos leaving you strange or awkward messages -- it does not, however, shield us from people flooding our goddamn tags on AO3 with fic that has nothing to do with our little ships and I do wish such negligence of the pairing itself meant we didn't have to deal with this spam...)

I am also not saying that fandom activity should be based solely on shipping (and recently someone on Reddit was rather confused by the fact that a lot of it is, which is quite an interesting topic to discuss in itself -- after all, there is more to fan creativity than shippy fic... Or there used to be), merely that, here, it appears that a canon relationship can outshine interest in the other, non-canon ones. It's already there and it was doubtless well-done by the show, so it's natural that it should claim people's attention, sure. It's just that being canon was never the parameter for whether people were interested in these or those two (or more) characters maybe being involved and trying to explore what that could mean through fanwork.

There has always been a complaint haunting fandom spaces concerning the minuscule amounts of f/f fic, art, discussion, w/e based on how few (interesting or sympathetic or relatable) female characters there are in media at large. So what I'm curious about is why fan creations made around WN -- a show that finally gives us a whole cast of female characters that are what we have been craving for decades -- don't also reflect its diversity.

There are alternative ships (I'm here, all happy in my tiny Doctor Superion bubble, and I know there are Camila/Lilith, Ava/Lilith, Mary/Shannon, Mary/Lilith shippers out there, so a warm hello to you if you're reading this), but go on AO3 and compare the numbers of things tagged with these proper pairings to the grand total of WN stories. Better (or worse) still, do so with the "otp: true" trick or simply by excluding avatrice from the search to see how many are left.

It's... A considerable difference. And a mystery, at least to me.

[sapphicagenda]

I'M FINALLY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 15: It's Finally Bake Night

Whisks Worth Taking (a Bake Off AU)

Fandom: Warrior Nun

Main ship: Ava/Beatrice

Sub-ships: Camila/Lilith, Mary/Shannon

Rating: E (for eventual smut)

Chapter Summary:

Ava takes Bea on the perfect first date and things get steamy!

Teaser:

Each revelation that Beatrice offered about herself felt like a puzzle piece placed carefully into Ava’s hands. She took none for granted. She cherished them and determined to protect each and every one until she could figure out where they fit together.

So far, when it came to the picture they were painting of Bea’s romantic history, it seemed clear to Ava that none of the women from her past had ever taken the time to show the chef just how special she was. That made Ava even more determined to plan the perfect First DateTM.

There was just one problem, Ava thought as she peeled one of the hardboiled eggs that was part of her piecemeal lunch. Though she had lots of experience going on dates, she’d never had a classic “First Date” experience herself; the kind that culminated from weeks of growing attraction to someone you knew; the kind you hoped might be a beginning; the kind you hoped might lead to a happily ever after someday.

Keep Reading on AO3

Or start from Chapter 1!

[thistleation]

“Okay, how about we start by putting away all the guns and swords ‘cause no one’s gonna shoot each other while we’re talking, right?”

It was 1 year, 4 months, and 11 days since they lost Shannon. 

Some days were better, some days it still felt like they were just stumbling on without her, adrift in space, coasting purely on momentum, mission to mission, with her shadows all around. 

She was still so present in the people around her, in Beatrice herself, in the things she did, the things she didn’t, the things she couldn’t… 

Beatrice and her sisters were in a clearing on an arid relay moon in what was only theoretically still Protectorate space. They’d just met up with Mary and, to their surprise, Ava as well. She’d gotten a haircut in the two months since they’d last seen her, a cute little chin-length thing she wore half-up, half-down, but everything about her presence was still unmistakable. 

Beatrice was already going over the odds of a confrontation — not great with her riderless, it would depend on what Mary would do — but that was just how her mind worked, how she was trained. It seemed unlikely this would devolve into an outright battle — for now at least…  

“I cannot believe you’re working with these people, Mary! What the fuck?!” Ava was still very much upset with the situation. 

“Language!”

“Don’t you fucking start with me Lilith!”

“Ava,” Mary tried again, “Put your gun away first, same to the rest of y’all.” 

There was a pause as everyone looked at each other. Beatrice was the only other one with a gun out, being riderless at the moment, Camila and Lilith had both summoned their blades. 

Beatrice was the first to put her weapon away, followed by Ava — who’s expression still made her displeasure very clear — then Camila, with Lilith only reluctantly dismissing her two-handed longsword when it was obvious she was the only one left and everyone was waiting on her. 

“Thank you.” Mary enunciated the words clearly, “Now how about you all tell me what’s going on and how you all know each other?” 

“Is this a set up?” Ava’s glare was still fixed on Mary, who took at least partial offense at the question. 

“Do you really think I would do that to you?” 

Ava’s mouth was tense, her jaw pushed out. “I dunno. I wouldn’t have before, but I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought if you’re working with them.” 

Mary’s frustrated scowl was one that knew the person she was talking to was definitely wrong about something, but also that — annoyingly — they had a point. “Okay just — just tell me what happened.” 

“What happened? What happened is they kidnapped me and held me prisoner for a week while they got ready to put me in a box and ship me to the core worlds!” 

Mary narrowed her eyes as the pieces started to come together. 

“Wait, that was when you lost your gun?” 

“Duh!” 

“You could’ve told us you were friends with an overpowered, rogue bright-touched, Mary,” Lilith interrupted with some annoyance of her own in her voice. 

“What and put you all in the position where you’d have to either lie to command or come do something about her? Why didn’t you tell me about her last time I was there?” 

Lilith straightened herself a bit and gave a shrug that did its best to appear nonchalant. 

“It didn’t come up.” She simply said. 

“Probably embarrassed about how I kicked all your asses huh?” Ava’s mood immediately improved a notch upon being presented with the opportunity to needle Lilith. 

“You got taken out when you let an opponent past your guard like a rookie,” Lilith fired back.

“I am a rookie, what’s your excuse for getting tossed about like a ragdoll by a girl with two months of combat training?” Ava stepped out from around the hovercar, and Lilith began to walk up to face her, nose held high, literally looking down on Ava.  

“I performed to standard in combat, as I always do. Your sloppy technique will just yield you the exact same result next time we fight, over and over again.” 

Ava lifted her head defiantly. “Yeah? Wanna try that out right now? Just you and me, Lil-bear?” 

“Oh-KAY! That’s enough of that.” Mary physically inserted herself between the two before Lilith decided to summon her blade again. 

She turned to Ava. “Ava, why didn’t you tell me you’d been captured by them? Girl, you were so cagey about it I thought the FBC had gotten to you or something.” 

Ava sighed and put on that slightly silly voice she did when quoting someone back to themselves. “Never volunteer information someone doesn’t need to know.” 

Mary sighed as well. “Okay, yes I did say that, but you can trust me, Ava.” 

Ava puffed her cheeks and angrily gestured at Beatrice and her sisters. 

Mary gave a wince. “Yeah. Okay, fair point. I guess we’ve all got some issues with communication that we gotta talk out at some point.”

“Mary, we do have orders to bring her in and see her transported to the Holy Order.” Lilith said, in a tone far calmer than the one she used on Ava. 

“Yeah Lilith? And is that what you plan to do to someone I brought here in good faith?” 

Lilith looked away to the side. 

“No, of course not… I’m just saying.” 

Beatrice felt it was about time to step in and change the heading of this conversation. “Mary, I assume you brought Ava here to help on the mission?” 

Mary turned towards her, thumbs in her belt. “You said you needed muscle, if you’ve fought this one you know she’s the most muscle you’re gonna find in the entire constellation. Maybe even the entire galaxy.” 

“Oh they know alright.”

“Ava…”

“Sorry.” 

“Well we’re not going to breach Mary’s trust,” Beatrice started, to which Lilith gave a sharp nod and a grunt in affirmation.

“But even if we did choose to fight and somehow could overpower Ava easily, there’s still no practical way to try and bring her in without jeopardizing the mission,” she laid it out logically, gauging Lilith’s reaction, “On the other hand she does bring certain advantages to the table that might considerably increase our chances of success…” 

“I still expect her to get paid from the mercenary budget.” Mary was quick to point out. 

Lilith pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“I … suppose we could be a little vague in our debriefs,” then she looked at her sisters, “are we seriously doing this? You’re both alright with this?” 

Camila shrugged light heartedly. 

Beatrice gave Lilith a deliberate nod. 

“Fine then. As if this mission wasn’t insane enough already.” 

Then she pointed a finger at Ava. “She has to break her link before we go on the ship though, I will not take someone untested on the Ghostwave who can blow out an airlock with her mind.” 

Ava tensed, suddenly growing suspicious again. 

“This is a trap…” she murmured. 

Mary put her hand on Ava’s shoulder. “Ava, I promise you that’s not what’s happening here.” 

Ava was starting to look panicked, “You don’t understand Mary, that was the one thing they tried to get me to do the entire time they had me, as soon as I gave it up they were gonna wrap me up and ship me away to the church!” 

Beatrice felt a pang in her heart. Memories flitted past one another in her mind. 

Her, wounded on that hillside, holding tight to consciousness as she told Ava to run. 

Her, shouting at Ava as she lay defenseless, Beatrice’s sword at her flesh, threatening to cut her limbs off one by one if she didn’t break her link. 

Her, watching Shannon, seeing the way something shifted in her posture when a terrified, abyssal-touched boy of maybe 16 years old begged them to let him go. 

She stepped forward, her hands folded together in front of her. “Ava… we didn’t come knowing we’d find you here. I know you can sense I’m riderless right now. You know I wouldn’t be if I was expecting to have to fight you. And now that we’re in this position, I give you my word, we will do nothing to harm you for the duration of this mission, and you’ll be free to go when it’s done.” 

Ava scoffed, a ghost of that same hurt expression Beatrice last saw her with still playing in her eyes. “Oh so now I’m supposed to trust you?” 

Her words stung, and Beatrice hung her head a little, “I’m sorry… for how things went, for what I did… I’m sorry I hurt you. But regardless of our differences and our confrontations, I hope my word at least has never given you any reason to doubt it?” 

Ava pursed her lips and sighed. She still looked hurt, but the distrust was fading from her face. 

She looked at Mary, “I have your word too? Even if they break theirs, I have your guarantee you’ll do everything in your power to stop them from taking me?” 

Mary gave Ava a pointed look. “It will not come to that. I know my girls are good for their word. But yes, Ava, you have it.” 

Another long pause from Ava, followed by a look in Beatrice’s direction that turned… mischievous? 

“Alright, might as well do it here then,” she declared nonchalantly, patting some dust off her pants, real or imaginary. 

Mary looked surprised all of a sudden, maybe more than she ought to have been. 

“Wh— Ava, all your stuff is already packed, just do it on the ship like we planned in the first place.” 

“It’s fiiiine,” Ava smiled impishly, “sister Beatrice will handle it.” 

Beatrice looked between the two of them, confused as to what exactly she was expected to ‘handle.’ 

Mary fixed Ava with a look. 

“Ava, I will not be held responsible for any of your stupid decisions.” 

“Of course not, Mary,” Ava looked entirely too pleased with herself, “obviously Beatrice, is going to be responsible for my stupid decisions.” 

Beatrice still couldn’t quite puzzle out what they were talking about. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t follow.” 

Ava casually began to walk towards her. “Don’t worry about it, you’ll get it in a moment. We can do it right here since I already left my panties off anyway.” 

Beatrice’s eyes widened and she felt a little lump of panic rise up in her throat. What was going on? Just what was Ava expecting here? “I'm sorry — what?” 

“Ava, I swear on the Bright, you will stop calling it that,” Mary groaned, “she means she’s already removed her mastrouza before coming here, so she can break her link at will.” 

“Oh —” Beatrice sighed with relief, “but that still doesn’t explain—” 

Before she could continue Ava had walked up to her and dropped herself into Beatrice’s arms, making Beatrice’s heart skip a beat. 

“Hold me please,” she asked with a smile that was far too bright, and somehow impossible for Beatrice to resist. She lightly wrapped her arms around Ava. 

“Little tighter.”

“Wh —”

“If you don’t hold me, I’m going to fall.”

“Oh, of course I’m sorry!” 

That part made sense, the sensation of a rider leaving could be overwhelming, and for an entity as powerful as Halo, perhaps it was that much more severe. 

Beatrice embraced Ava in a way that firmly supported her, and Ava settled her own arms over Beatrice’s shoulders. 

They were awfully close like this. As she stared into those brightly shining, beautifully dark eyes, Beatrice suddenly remembered the last time she’d been this close to Ava, remembered how Ava had kissed her, remembered the way she’d almost kissed her. 

It must show on her face, because Ava’s smirk only widened as she bit her bottom lip. 

Beatrice felt her heart rate start to nervously pick up. “Could you — could you hurry please?” 

“Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?” 

That smile, those eyes. 

Oh she was a tease. 

“Please.” Beatrice gave her the most firm look she could manage, but it felt like it came out as a plea more than anything. 

Ava took pity and inclined her head. 

She closed her eyes and took a breath, her head listing forward. 

Her breathing deepened, her muscles tensed and relaxed, and her grip on Beatrice tightened. 

Beatrice held her firm. 

Then with a sudden spasm and a gasp, Ava crumpled into her completely. She had to readjust her grip to keep her properly supported and upright. All of Ava’s weight was now on her arms and on Beatrice holding her. 

“Ava?” she asked with some concern in her voice, “can you stand?” 

“‘fraid not.” Her head was still rolling a bit as she shook out the brain fog, but she said it in a level voice, her tone implying this was a normal part of the process. 

“I see… How long does that usually last?” 

Ava gave her a knowing smirk, “typically until I link with him again.” 

Beatrice looked at her confused for a full second, then everything suddenly clicked. 

“You’re paralyzed?!” 

Ava beamed. 

“Have been since I was seven! Though it used to be much worse than this.” 

Something else just slotted into place for Beatrice and she sighed in exasperation. 

“So when you said I’d take responsibility you meant—” 

“You asked me for a lot of trust, breaking my link like this, surely it’s not too much to ask you to carry me in exchange?” Ava pumped her eyebrows with a grin that had no right to be anywhere near as charming as it was. 

Mischievous little minx. 

“I’ll be happy with a piggy back ride,” Ava smiled, then brushed some of Beatrice’s errant strands of hair behind her ear and dropped her voice to a huskier tone, “but if you’d like to carry me bridal style I — uhm — I wouldn’t object.” 

She wet her lips, glancing down at Beatrice’s mouth first, then looking her in the eyes as she waited for an answer. 

Beatrice’s heart was pounding. 

She couldn’t remember the last time someone had flirted with her — outside of… whatever it was she had with Lilith — let alone flirted as directly as Ava was laying it on. 

She was doing it on purpose, Beatrice realized, she was trying to put her off balance. 

Because Ava liked to play. 

And a strange little feeling tickled Beatrice. 

A tiny spark of joy that delighted in being challenged bubbled up inside of her.  

Beatrice, she decided, didn’t mind a little play herself. 

Her expression shifted from slightly overwhelmed to a coy little smile as she pulled Ava up close to her. 

She bit her bottom lip flirtatiously for a moment, casting her eyes down, then looking back up. 

Ava met her gaze with a smile, happy, but a little puzzled. 

Beatrice looked down again, more pointedly this time, her coy smile turning just a bit wicked. 

Ava’s expression stayed puzzled for a few more seconds, until suddenly her eyes went wide with understanding. 

“Wait no! Don’t you dare—” 

Beatrice grinned and dropped down into a partway crouch, one hand in the small of Ava’s back, the other at the back of her knees, and in one smooth motion she threw Ava over her shoulder. 

“BEATRICE!” Ava’s fist pounded on her back. 

Camila had to cover her smile with a hand, a few paces further Lilith had the most satisfied and relaxed expression all of a sudden, as Ava kept up her assault. 

“Beatrice you put me down this instant! You think I don’t have enough upper body strength to choke you out from here?! BEATRICE!” 

Beatrice happily ignored her and carried her over to Mary. “Backseat?” she asked. 

Mary, who’s smile said she too was enjoying this far more than she ought to, shrugged. 

“I mean there’s the trunk as well.” 

“MARY I SWEAR ON EVERY BRIGHT-FUCKED SAINT IN THIS GALAXY—”

“Backseat is probably fine.” Beatrice concluded. 

“Trunk’s pretty full anyway.” 

Mary opened the rear door of the hovercar for her and Beatrice very carefully, very gently, put a practically growling Ava down in the seat. 

Ava was looking at her with what she must be trying her hardest to turn into a scowl, failing spectacularly because she couldn’t suppress the playful smile that kept pushing through. 

“I bet you thought that was pretty funny huh?” She gave it her best attempt at a glare. It was adorable. 

“That does seem to be the consensus, yes.” Beatrice didn’t even bother to keep the smugness out of her voice.  

“Cute. You think I’m not going to get you back for this?” 

“Oh I’m quite sure you’ll try.” Oh, she was enjoying this. 

“So that’s how you want to play this?” 

“Isn’t this how you always want to play?” 

Ava let her mouth hang open a little. “Sister Beatrice! I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Beatrice preened, “I think you’ll find I’m full of surprises.” 

“Oh I’ll bet you are.” 

Beatrice felt a blush come on as she realized they were flirting again, and this time she was happily participating. 

“Yes, well, plenty of time to get to know each other on the way.” She deflected, quickly breaking eye contact. 

“Can’t wait,” Ava smirked, her tone heavy with meaning.

[lenaboskow]

gay!eddie is happening in the near future, a post brought to you by someone who spends way too much time dissecting queer media (and usually ends up being at least half right)

bear with me, it's a long one under the cut

i have a longer, more scene specific post that i will finish during the break if nothing happens tonight but i am a full believer that eddie's big arc this season (or next season, depending) is that the reason none of his past relationships worked out is because he's gay (not bi, gay)

disclaimers: i fully believe eddie loved shannon, just not the way he wanted to. you can also be gay and still enjoy heterosexual sex. sometimes sex really is just sex. this post is purely about romantic attraction.

I also tried to leave as much out about buck as possible (though that's hard, the man is obviously an integral part of his life) because gay!eddie diaz will happen no matter if buddie is endgame, and people need to realize that. their sexualities are more than just about each other.

anyways, on to the post-

it's canon that eddie will put christopher first when it comes to deciding relationships, and i think we first see that with shannon. rewatching season 2, i didn't get the impression that he wanted a romantic relationship with her, but he wanted her back in his son's life, and to eddie, those two go hand in hand.

and, if we're being honest, i think eddie's habit of putting other people first is the whole reason he got with shannon, because his family taught him that he was supposed to find a nice girl and settle down. who better to do that with than his best friend? my theory is further proven when shannon gets pregnant and eddie marries her out of a sense of duty, and then immediately ships off to afghanistan under the pretense of "providing" (and isn't it something that he picks a profession where he'll be away from his family for months at a time)

the only reason eddie returned is because of the helicopter crash, to which shannon immediately started talking about moving to california. while i believe that wanting to rest after the crash could be part of the reason he was hesitant, i think there was also a fear of what would happen when he was no longer near his family he was trying to please.

of course, eddie eventually moves to la after getting a job offer from both lafd and chicago. carla mentions that it is only thirty minutes from shannon, and while that could be because he wanted to reconcile, i think it was more to do with wanting to have his son's mother near. that, and lafd is the best in the world (according to eddie)

eddie only kisses shannon in 2x07 after she does her family interview for the school. this specific fact coupled with the absence of the eddie diaz heart eyes™️ (which, despite his closing off at the beginning of the series, we'd already seen in 2x01 when he and buck call truce) makes me believe he realized he could trust her and wanted her back in his son's life, and the way to do that was to get back together.

"but they hid their relationship for a while" eddie was still scared. comphet is a real thing, and causes people to act on things they necessarily don't want. i believe he pursued a romantic relationship with shannon because that's what she wanted, and if he kept her happy, she wouldn't leave again. this is why i wish we could've seen divorced shannon/eddie instead of her dying immediately, and i wonder if maybe it would've sped up the whole deconstruction process for him.

the next time eddie dates, it's with ana. on paper, ana is the perfect wife for him. she's a teacher, knows how to handle kids, is latina, the whole package. eddie tries so hard to make it work, that it actually does, and this causes him to panic. both carla and buck tell eddie not to take just chris into consideration, but to make sure he wants it too, and after some time, he breaks it off with her. the way ana reacted to the breakup makes me wonder if she could also sense the reason for the breakup.

marisol is where it starts to get tricky, but i feel like we've seen enough (or not enough) in these four episodes to piece some information together. chris is the one who encourages eddie to call her, and that makes me wonder if that's the reason they're still together. before the promo of the bucktommy date eddie and marisol crash, we only got two mentions of marisol, and both times was in relation to her helping with chris. at this point, eddie has spent more time with tommy than he has with marisol, as far as we're aware.

the synopsis of tonight's ep says that eddie and marisol "take a closer look at their relationship" and given that we haven't seen much of them on screen, it makes me wonder what this could be about. does it maybe have something to do with them crashing the bucktommy date?

obviously, i wouldn't be mad if eddie turned out to be bi. however, to me, all of his relationships seem be a big case of comphet. speaking from experience, as someone who's pursued relationships with men purely because that's what i was expected to do, not because i actually wanted to be with them. and just like eddie, there was a time where if my best friend (who was of the opposite gender) had asked me out, I would've said yes and married him had it come to that, because it would've made my family happy. i've gotten to a point where i don't care what my conservative family thinks or wants, and i truly believe that this season, we'll see eddie get to that place to.

if you've made it this far, thank you for listening, and here's to hoping we get gay!eddie tonight.

tag: @queeredmundo

[laylawatermelon]

Now that I'm thinking about it I wanna theorize/call for action outside of buddie (don't worry i WILL return with a vengeance) but now I'm on a bit of an Eddie Diaz kind of run.

I'm reading a fanfic now of Eddie's sisters which kind of spawned me to think about his relationship with them and kind of think about his family dynamics and expectations and what's coming up for his storyline.

Now they mentioned bringing his family in, specifically his sisters, and i think this storyline ties into Marisol (noname i swear this drives me crazy when i think about it?!??! PLEASE if you want me to care/be invested gimme a last name!) and his Catholic guilt/sense of responsibility/man of the house complex.

They've introduced how his upbringing brought him a lot of guilt and a sense of duty (to serve and protect amirite? Dang religion can be a perfect line to how modern society works but lemme save that for a thesis or something this is about 911 on abc🤣)

Back on topic though, there's a really nice post talking about how he's military family and how that affected his and Shannon's relationship. (x)

Reading that helped me to appreciate the writing and details.

I also want to talk about the beautiful work being done on Twitter and Tumblr about the Miami Vice costume theory and coincidences.

(heh throwback Tuesday and takeover thursday came in clutch with finding these x )

Yes i do ship buddie, but if I look at it not just as a romantic things but as they are written as kind of parallel soulmates who run along the same line of development.

One always spurs the next to grow and change and are heavily involved in some way even if that way it's just being themselves.

Buck being open with his sexuality will trigger something in Eddie. What it is can vary.

I think if we look at it with non shipper glasses, Buck's freedom will lead to Eddie's freedom. What I mean by that is since Eddie had came to the 118 Ryan mentioned how each year he was there the more he learned about himself and other people.

I think what Eddie would be at free from the image/expectations of what a family should look like/be.

He knows what a family could look like in a queer/unconventional way. Bathena's unit, Chimney and Maddie's family (let's say cause they're not currently married with a toddler church would pass out), and HenRen's family.

The could be and should be is the important part.

Eddie grew up being told what he should be and what his life should look like. Evidently his life went none of the ways it was intended to go.

He's a widower single father from a teen/young pregnancy and veteran. Sure he's a firefighter now but he has no "complete" family.

The way they're emphasizing the mother aspect throughout his story is still fascinating.

(i also thought of something hilarious as like he probably imagined/process mothers as like the Virgin Mary or something when they brought up how he can see woman as mothers but not really women at the same time)

(also Madonna whore complex was mentioned and it's also a fascinating way to look at it as he can either desire or love.)

Shannon seems to be the only exception and even that is iffy. I would also say that when she became a mother the desire kind of left? I think the mother aspect solidified for him when she left them I would say.

Yes they did have sex but that was a (very bad, horrid) form of communication between them. They both avoided stuff at some point in some (eh it's like 20/80 her and Eddie) cases.

Every other woman he has dated has kind of been a substitute, for a lack of a better word, replacement for the role of mom.

Now he knows what moms should look like in all shapes and forms. He knows what dads should look like. He's knows what his family should look like.

Granted he did get rid of some of the flaws of his father and the way he was raised which also ties into the way he is.

Eddie was parentified at an early age. (I will say as a black/poc person that there tends to be adult responsibilities placed on our communities kids from young partially because of culture but mostly because of the inherent unevenness that we have to struggle to make balance worldwide in different facets and environments.)

Once again, this is about 911 on abc, not my thesis😭.

I just imagine him standing on a stool to cook food for his sisters or some other things like laundry. Or even worse the cannon car accident with his pregnant mom. (I love to make myself cry)

Eddie had technically been a parent since he was a kid. He literally became the man of the house or the father. So i guess that entailed taking on the emotional and sometimes physical burden of the father role.

I guess when he was actually a father and not just the role he felt the weight of responsibility again and panicked. It makes sense he has a habit of running since he never had the opportunity to do so as a kid (since he never got the chance to be one).

So after Chris it was once again role of the father but now with added responsibility of bringing money to provide the household which he didn't have to do in that role.

It was hard then so it became even more difficult.

So he gave his body to the military and returned wounded in mind and body, and with a disabled son who needed insurance and stability and a wife who just needed him.

And he needed to be a man. Again and again and again.

He broke out of the loop when he got to the 118 (bless the haven that is that building) met Buck, then Carla and Bobby who offered a safe place for his kid.

He was no longer alone and had distanced himself physical from the church but mentally still shackled in his beliefs.

After this Buck and Tommy things and he's not present we're going to focus on how a family could look for him.

Last season and recently they mentioned the fact that his aunt had been divorced and he didn't know.

There was also mention of family secrets.

There was also Marisol and Chris together which I'm guessing he wasn't to happy with her but it's either or since we haven't seen them together so it's a 50/50 chance. More like 90/10 he's annoyed or feels weird about his mom being replaced). Since we touched on him repairing his relationship with his mom and subsequently girls and women/relationships he wants to be in now that may shift his image of Marisol suddenly being more present.

Slight Buddie tangent (i gotta let the beat out for a sec raaa-) but the fact that he's still hanging out with Buck pretty consistently (well we can say he's his other parent who's sadly been in his life almost longer than his mom 🥺 lemme stop I'm crying) but it might decrease due to his and Tommy's relationship. (They're two firefighters with very busy schedules ofc he's not present they got work to do chop chop!/j)

In turn this leaves Chris with one less stable parent figure and it's forced to turn to Marisol who may be overeager to please him.

This can lead Chris to probably feeling uncomfortable with the changes because he's happy his dad's happy but he's not happy because it feels like his family's changing again too fast, and what if she leaves then his dad's not happy and a whole other sleet of teenage issues and angst.

So what I predict their storyline to be going it's that Eddie tries to find his own freedom from the church and maybe even the expectations of his home community would have on him.

Buck will be radiant in himself at the wedding, so will Hen and Karen, and Marie and Chimney, and Bobby and Athena.

He'll look around and look inward.

He'll stop focusing on what his life should look like and focus on what it could.

And that life could be just as radiant as the family he's apart of now.

(and that's all i could ask for 🥹)

[daisychainsandbowties]

Lilith in N7 armor, though…

It may or may not surprise you to know that I actually have a whole mass effect au planned out in my head. I just…. Yeah. Ava Silva and the weight of the world on her shoulders. Ava Silva giving exclusive sponsorship to every single tech and weapons shop on the Citadel. Ava Silva with her aquarium and her pet hamster and a shadow longer than her life.

Ava Silva, waking up to fire in the sky above Mindoir. Ships blotting out the sky and the trees a smear of sound and heat and light outside her window. It’s enough to make them burst inward, waking her in time to save her life.

Boots in the hall of their little house and her mother running inside the room, pushing the dresser she made out of this planet up against the door they brought with them from the stars. Ava doesn’t know anything but this place – the grass crunchy in winter and the flowers in spring and the leaves in autumn and all the sunsets in summer.

Her mother has old scars on her hands and an old rifle she keeps under her bed and an old set of armour she wears now. It’s broken open across her chest and the gauntlets are cracked, falling onto the wood floor as she looks for Ava, finds her by the window in a halo of broken glass.

It’s weird, too see her smiling and bleeding at the same time.

There’s a second red heart on her chest, and when she speaks she leaves blood spatter on Ava’s forearms. Clutches at her so tightly that Ava is certain she could never let her go, but then she’s smoothing Ava’s hair off her face, tucking strands behind her ear.

She carries Ava to the window – she’s nine, too big for carrying and she squirms but her mother’s grip is iron. The grass is still wet from overnight rain, somehow, even backlit as they both are by fire. The shape of tall trees in her mother’s eyes which are just the same colour as hers. Brown like earth.

The door to Ava’s bedroom splinters and the last thing Ava hears as she’s pushed onto her back – out of sight and out of reach – is her mother telling her to run. This she knows how to do, running laps around the track at school while the other kids are still stretching out their legs. She knows how to do it alone in the woods around their house or down toward the lake, pretending to chase birds or her own shadow.

Ava, running and always, forever after this, running. Away from town, from home, with an old Alliance beacon in her hand, blinking like a red eye against her palm.

They’ll find you, she’d whispered, pressing it wet into Ava’s small hand, and they did.

When the Alliance come they find Ava. Just her. They ask her questions but all she can tell them about is fire, and sitting in the old cabin by the lake, underneath the floorboards with bugs the size of her hands crawling in the dirt around her. Staring at the beacon until she slept again. Woke again. Slept again.

Ten years later she’s on Akuze and everyone she trained with is dead around her. She’s fresh out of basic training and her armour belonged to someone else before her, ill-fitting at the shoulders and the hips. Her greaves rattle when she walks, and everyone teases her about it and then she’s running past pieces of them.

The creature responsible bleeds so much when it dies, and its insides burn where they touch Ava’s skin. When they find her, she’s carrying a fistful of dog tags, spends a week in a medi-gel bath regrowing a fifth of her skin. They recruit her straight into the N7 program, and some nights, sitting in various drop-ships eating expired ration bars, or gunning down mercs, she wonders if her mother would recognise her anymore. They were supposed to be farmers.

Then Eden Prime, the beacon and a Turian called Adriel who wants to bring about the end of the world. She meets an odd archaeologist on a lonely dig site and her name is Beatrice. A sniper on the Citadel called Shannon, who likes to wear blue. Their pilot, Mary, has a knack for pissing everyone off and a soft spot for Ava.

She sits in the mess late at night, when the ship’s circadian lights make everything dim and secret, drinking coffee with too much creamer and listening to Beatrice talk about the Protheans.

It's the wrong time to fall in love.

They win, eventually, and Ava is quietly side-lined for saying too much, too loudly about the Reapers, who want to come down from the sky and burn everything, like the slavers burned her home once upon a time.

And then she dies.

Her body, burned by the mouth of a planet upon re-entry, finds its way into the hands of a shadow organisation called Cerberus, who call her Lazarus and bring her back from the dead. She wakes up full of hairline fractures, her face trying to break open, bleeding red light like her once-small fingers, like running away again and waking up to flashlights, strange voices. Everything about life is circular.

She wakes in the hands of a girl with designer blood and bones not quite as handmade as Ava’s, but close. Her name is Lilith, and the first thing she tells Ava is that the galaxy hasn’t run out of ways to use her just yet.

[himboskywalker]

Heyy boo, do you have a book that is not star wars related that you wish you could read for the first time or reread all the time?

I am searching for books recommendations and I am pretty open about every genre, maybe not horror but everything else is totally fine.

My number one book recommendation that I will always obnoxiously shove in everyone’s faces is Lord of the Rings. It is my heart and soul and favorite thing in the world and if you’ve never read the trilogy I highly recommend it. But I also have quite a few other recs!

Anything written by Andy Weir. “The Martian” is his best known work,which they made the Matt Damon movie of,and while I do love it “Project Hail Mary” is my favorite of his and one of my favorite sci-fi books of all time.

I loved “To Sleep in a Sea of Stars” which was Christopher Paolini’s sci-fi debut a couple years ago but he just came out with its prequel “Fractal Noise” and I liked it even more.

For some good old fashioned space opera brilliance I recommend the “Final Architecture” trilogy by Adrian Tchaikovsky. The last book of the series just came out and I DEVOURED it. Tchaikovsky’s Children of Time,Ruin,and Memory are also phenomenal, you really just can’t go wrong with him.

For more space opera and politics I highly recommend Arkady Martine,she DEBUTED with “Memory Called Empire” which won all sorts of awards. The sequel also recently came out but I haven’t gotten the chance to read it.

I’m in the middle of reading Pierce Brown’s “Red Rising” saga,which I would describe as adult Hunger Games,and have thoroughly enjoying it as well!

For fantasy I love Samantha Shannon’s “Priory of the Orange Tree” and “A Day of Fallen Night”. You’ll get varying opinions of what to read first,I read Priory when it first came out so that’s my biased opinion.

I’m a massive fan of “She Who Became the Sun” by Shelly Parker-Chan and their sequel “He Who Drowned the World” and I want it to go on record I read SWBS when it first came out and before it blew up *flips hair*

R.J. Barker’s “Tide Child” trilogy is awesome,first book of that series is “The Bone Ships.” It’s high seas fantasy with dragon bone ships and epic war and amazing world building.

I always highly recommend “Gideon the Ninth” by Tamsyn Muir and now also the rest of the books in the series. I think the usual pitch is lesbian necromancers in space.

I cannot cannot recommend “The Shadow of the Gods” by John Gwynne enough! It’s quintessential epic fantasy told as a Norse epic and it’s in my top five of modern fantasy books.

While I have serious beef with Song of Achilles just like our fellow obikin Will,I did love and devour Madeline Miller’s “Circe.” In every way I think it’s her superior work.

I can’t recommend fantasy without recommending “The Grace of Kings” by Ken Liu. His entire series will blow your socks off,but the first book won nearly every award for fantasy books that have ever existed.

I’m a huge fan of R.F Kuang’s “The Poppy War” series although I’ve heard this one is a contentious recommendation. I think this series is hate or love it but if for whatever reason you don’t vibe with this series I also highly recommend Kuang’s “Babel.”

If you want something a little less well known I could chew through drywall over Simon Jimenez’s “The Spear Cuts Through Water.” It was in my top five of 2023 release books.

I can also make a separate rec list of less new books and overall classics I always recommend or gift to people,both fiction and nonfiction!

[dizzythegreat]

Keeper of the Lost Cities meta: a hopefully-not-too-critical analysis

Starting off by saying that this whole thing is a just little too pretentious and a just little too fueled by irritation so don't take everything I say as fact! I'm just kind of ranting about things that I feel like most people are annoyed with (?) please share your thoughts with me! I think it's important for discourse like this to happen to keep fandoms alive!! non-Keeper mutuals feel free to DISREGARD!

First of all Keeper has such a special place in my heart, I started reading the series when I was 12 and I'm 16 now, so I really did kind of grow up with the books. I LOVED the series as a kid and hyperfixated on it for a really long time. As the series progresses and as I read it from a different lens, I'm seeing all of the flaws so much more clearly, so this whole rant basically stems from realizing something so special to me is flawed media and wanting to get my thoughts somewhere. All of this comes from a loving place! I'm just putting down my top few issues with the series and my opinions on a lot of different elements <3

DISCLAIMER I'm doing a reread but I'm only on book 1 and my memory is shit. Any false information is literally not my fault leave me alone

1. Length, redundancy, and predictability

This one really starts in Flashback #7 for me. It will always, always evade me why that book contains ~300 straight pages of Sophitz fluff and fucking around in the healing center. I know that a lot of people enjoyed those parts, which is totally valid! Shipping is a cornerstone of this series! But for me it felt so pointless and fan servicey, idk. And this is maybe my biggest problem with the books: they drag. We're at 9 and a half books now, each spanning like 500-800 pages, and the plot drags and drags and drags. I don't know if Shannon's publisher makes her fill a certain number of pages or what, but I feel like at least 100 pages of bullshit could be cut from each book and nothing would change. They start to almost follow a formula: 200 or so pages of figuring out the Neverseen's plan of the hour, another 200-ish to plan how to defeat them, and then finally we learn that the Neverseen is actually always one step ahead and the crew gets crushed oh my god tragic!! It worked as a subversion of expectations the first couple times but by now I feel like most people could basically just predict what's going to happen in any given book. Sometimes I wonder got left on the cutting room floor because it feels like SM wrote a first draft, barely trimmed it down, and published just that. The plot spins in circles, the protagonists are confused yet again, I am pulling my hair out in chunks.

It's a huge turn-off to a lot of new readers seeing these super thick books, and it's even a turn-off to me when I do rereads because surprise surprise, I don't actually really give a fuck if Fitz likes Sophie back, or at least not enough to read 300 pages on it per book. If the books were more concise, not only would that fix a lot of the plot and character development issues, it would also make them way more digestible because to be honest with you I probably couldn't remember half of what happens in most of them.

2. Sophie...

I think this is a very polarizing opinion but I just kind of don't like Sophie as a main character? I honestly think she's fallen victim to becoming a Mary Sue and not even in a "wehhh powerful woman make me mad" type way! It's just that Sophie at her fullest power is undeniably the most powerful elf in a battle, so to counteract this, Shannon has to keep finding ways for the Neverseen to take away Sophie's power. Whether through the whole "she can only inflict everyone at once" thing or breaking every bone in her hand or creating forcefields or literally fucking anything to stop this kid with five million superpowers, they have to find a way to effectively tie her down so the battles seem somewhat realistic. This then creates a weird pattern where every battle goes one of two ways: Neverseen finds a way to effectively debilitate Sophie and all her friends, or she just goes fucking sicko mode and destroys everyone. You just can't have a main character who's this much ahead of everyone else in terms of raw power.

For me, I think the biggest issue with Sophie is she's not relatable to the average reader. The age demographic for Keeper is preteens and teens. How many 13 year olds are the most powerful, unstoppable person in their friend group, in which three hot guys are head-over-heels in love with them, living in very comfortable conditions, with like five hundred friends? If you were that fucking baller at 13 then go fuck yourself that's super cool for you! But the core pillars of Sophie's life, disregarding the all the magical stuff (which obviously requires some suspension of disbelief) are simply not relatable or recognizable to the average reader. So how are we as readers supposed to feel connected to Sophie's life and situation if we never have (and let's face it, never will) experience anything close to the more realistically human parts of her life?

3. Character development (and the lack thereof)

Say what you will but to me the character development is so pale and arguably just doesn't exist. It feels like everyone has become so one-dimensional, so predictable, and so limp. Sophie has it the worst because we read from her POV, so all of her quirks and thoughts become really fucking annoying to read over and over again. For example, The whole oblivious "omg does Dex like me? does Keefe like me? DO I LIKE FITZ???" thing was cute when she was 12 back in book one but by now I am genuinely tearing my hair out when I have to read "Sophie blushed" every two pages. The whole "I'm a freak and nothing I do ever works and all is hopeless" thing was easy to feel sympathy for the first few times, but by now it's just kind of... exhausting? It feels like the naïve, oblivious Sophie from book 1 is exactly the same person as Stellarlune Sophie, no matter how many hideouts SM makes her burn down to prove she's ruthless or something. At this point, I feel like Sophie's choices throughout the series end up either being really predictable or wildly out of left field.

Every character other than Fitz, Keefe, and Sophie (and you could make a case for the three of them too) have become a shadow of themselves and they all get at most two conversations worth of pagetime. This can be attributed to a lot of things that I don't feel like talking about so here they are in point form: excessive focus on the main "love triangle", overloaded cast of protagonists, too much emphasis on A) furthering the plot and B) Sophie's inner thoughts instead of character relationships and found family. I think the books have lost sight of the original love, trust, and bond created by the five mains, and those super interesting dynamics between the different sets of friends that were so abundant in the first few installements have become few and far between. When I was a kid, I loved the books for the warm friendships and soft moments between Sophie and Dex, and now we're lucky if they even really talk to each other if not to push the plot. Biana barely exists, Marella and Linh show up every once in a while to be gay as fuck and then leave, Stina turned nice and then immediately went back to being a bitch because SM, for some reason, un-did all her redemption, and everyone else fucks around until they're plot-relevant. Where's the squad where's the crew where's the homoerotic undertones?!

4. Miscellaneous whining

Fitz's character is wildly inconsistent imo. I love you Sophie but I'm going to consistently get mad at you over irrelevant things and ice you out even though you need my support! Your boyfriend is for the streets girl

Fuck this whole half-book thing I'm sorry. Understandably, things have slowed down now that SM has two kids and I'm really truly happy for her and I'm glad she's taking time out of her work for herself and her family. But when she keeps releasing these weird novellas every year as some kind of "solution", it really just seems like a cop-out or a cash grab. I wish we could tell Shannon that we don't necessarily need a 700+ page novel to consider it a book! I personally would love if book 10 was more concise!! Let's just get this plot moving a bit!!

Sophie burning Gisela's book BURNS MY BLOOD. SM just had no fucking idea what she wanted that book to say + it would probably end the series too quick so she got Sophie to burn the most crucial piece of information they could have ever used under pretense of "refusing to follow Gisela's trap" or whatever OH MY GOD

Sooo many dropped plot lines/plot holes there is no way this shit is being resolved in the next 1 and a half books. See you all in 2034 for book 13.125

Sokeefe endgame was great but so predictable. Half the reason most people read this series is for the will-they-won't-they thing with Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe (justice for Dex!), and I think it was executed very badly. You could predict that Sophie and Fitz would burn out, you could predict that she would end up with Keefe, there was net 0 suspense by the time Fitz made his 500th dick move. I know I just complained about things being stretched out for so long but this one could have done with some taking it slow without making it obvious what was going to happen

Can Marella and Linh just kiss already

Anyways this all comes from a place of loving frustration. Oh Keeper my love, look what has become of you. Ultimately, SM started a fantasy series without knowing the ending, and it's spun out of control, but what can you do? I appreciate the series for what it is, I wish it was better, but I'll always love it. Through all my bitching and moaning I'm still rereading it to this day so who's really winning here? Please rb and comment and dm I love discussing Keeper!!! If you think I'm an idiot tell me!!! If you agree with me tell me!!! Don't be a dick!! Thanks for making it this far! Don't forget to like and subscribe and smash that bell

[powerbottomblake]

ok I finished my rewatch here is the S1 recap brought to you by my brain juices having been put in a blender after that. I will tell you guys, rewatching S1 after watching S2 is so incredibly rewarding this show is just. really good!! it is!! now here are my various disorganized thoughts:

shannon's death scene is so much more hard-hitting on a rewatch. the way when she's being carried she asks for mary then reaches for her is so incredibly intimate she's surrounded by her sisters but she wants mary at her side and the ensuing goodbyes are very much heart-wrenching and there is NO way to read shannon/mary as not romantic especially since we later get hints from everyone that it was pretty much an open secret? everyone knew their relationship was special. props to the cast for delivering such an emotional scene that comes this early in the show (the tear falling from beatrice's face to land on shannon's as she kisses her forehead and says "I'll miss you, sister" is just. Cinéma. Filmé)

the way it is stressed time and again that resurrection is something the halo provides specifically for ava. there's also the way there's a direct parallel with areala bc they're both the only warrior nuns to have received the halo AGAINST their wills and I think you could say resurrection happened for areala too which is very interesting and very neat (the way these two bookend the cycle of warrior nun being fed into the church killing machine)

the way it is basically textual that vincent was the drunk driver that caused ava's accident and that is INSANE. they're both at the center of how the trajectory of their lives was fundamentally rewritten and they're both the cause that sets them on their path. vincent becomes her father figure and develops genuine affection for her and he fills a place in her life that has always been empty before and this really sets the scene for their S2 interactions.

on the topic of vincent there are so many scenes where he stands around in apparent deep meditation and comes afterwards with answers or a set course and those are literally the moments he gets his visions/messages from adriel and it happens right under our noses and we're none the wiser!! you only catch it on rewatch

ava's bisexuality is hinted at so early like literally the first person to hit on her and offer her a drink is a girl!! and then when she escapes the cat's cradle she says "I'm gonna make love to" pointed look at a girl "someone" like it was there right at the beginning

JC is the best person to have a first lay with! I am a person who subscribes to ship having to be each other's true loves not necessarily their first loves and JC was safe and harmless enough for ava to explore things that were denied her in her past life (sexuality, desire, infatuation) bc in the grand scheme of things JC does not matter. and ava subconsciously KNOWS this. ava is never 100% vulnerable or open with JC and not just bc of, you know, the supernatural things happening around and to her constantly but even the most basic information abt herself she withholds for a LONG time. JC is very interesting thematically bc he's what ava thinks freedom looks like and what she thinks she wants but absolutely not what she needs (which is basically what she explores all throughout S1). He's an uprooted vagrant person not beholden to anyone but his own whims but that means he never develops any significant bonds there's no purpose and no real belonging with him. Hell, he leaves his partners of 18 months for ava who he met a week ago. His entire character is based on leaving whereas ava wants, deep down, someone who will stay for and with her. all throughout.

the vincent monologue at the end of episode 1 hits different on a rewatch "prophets are hard to come by in these times" and he went and fashioned himself into one!! this whole things has been him trying to find a type of salvation that the church does not offer him!! especially since he's haunted by who he was in the past and when he joined the OCS he thought maybe this darkness is a demon that can be exorcised and confronted that it was in fact all him he wanted a miracle powerful enough to banish that very darkness. adriel probably sensed that vulnerability in him and came to him in visions using that to get him onboard

mary's whole s1 arc is basically that tough action guy whose wife gets killed and he goes on a rampage to find out who did it and why. she's a female john wick. which. again. I am puzzled by the fact that shannon and mary was apparently not written to read as romantic?? my dearest people you WROTE it that way. you tapped into the romance tropes.

lilith is somehow both an eldest daughter (derogatory) and a middle child (derogatory). and also a bitch and a delight and I love her so much

JC. repeatedly. and I say. REPEATEDLY. offers ava moments of vulnerability where he opens up abt himself and his life and ava offers NOTHING in return. ava is extremely guarded even as she wants him and only offers up her story when she has to and even then it's mostly to distract him from asking questions abt who the people after her are. and that's juxtaposed with how ava, after that very painful moment with mother superion and being offered comfort from beatrice, legitimately opens up to beatrice almost instantly there. Beatrice hugs her once and ava is like I spent 12 years not feeling anything below my chest I didn't kill myself I have a very complicated relationship with nuns and thus catholicism bc I wasn't treated well like the contrast there is mindblowing.

bringing me to my next point: ava instinctively: 1/knows beatrice is safe, 2/knows she is safe with beatrice, 3/ wants to trust beatrice SO BAD. and she wants intensely, for beatrice to believe her and (then in the back end of season once they're paired up) to believe in her

ava fleeing the OCS is done so well bc in 24hrs she gets put through mother superion's psychological warfare, then she hears abt the previous halobearer who I'm sure she was picturing as someone of a certain age then sees the picture and realizes shannon died young, then she goes visiting the murals of the cat's cradle and all the warrior nuns are pictured young and fighting demons, constantly, AND THEN she reads that part abt how areala died her second death YOUNG too. she gets hit with the reality of this fate, the danger of it, the certainty of a death that'll come sooner rather than later as she's appointed humanity's champion while having to fight horrors beyond a normal human's comprehension constantly. ofc my girl bailed. it's all done so very well everything that has to do with ava's arc is insanely well written

jillian calls beatrice "a petite member of the clergy" when she sees the footage of beatrice taking out an entire security team and that is SO FUCKING FUNNY. imagine calling beatrice petite to her face

on that topic beatrice's hallway fight gets projected to a room full of journalists and I am obsessed with that. did she go viral on the internet were there memes abt ninja nuns going feral

all throughout when something happens that pushes against the Norms and Rules beatrice will question it and it can come off as cold but really it's bc Beatrice strives on structure!! if she has to step outside the bounds of it, it better be righteous and worth it. like when she asks if vincent is intent on not giving the halo to lilith and keeping it within ava and he says yes her first reflex is but lilith is next in line. but the politics. this isn't to say beatrice was FOR killing ava like the moment she hears it could kill her she's NOT down to take it away from her but everytime the Order of Things is challenged Beatrice has to be walked through as to why. and if it's WORTH it. which oh boy the way this ties to her S2 arc makes me slightly insane bc ava comes barreling through that structure and beatrice says yes. she is worth upending my whole world for anyway-

Which is NOT to say that beatrice will take well to any kind of authority you actually have to earn her respect otherwise beatrice has. absolutely. zero chill. the tone she takes with duretti who's the fucking CARDINAL. from VATICAN. a pope HOPEFUL?? she is polite yes but curt and cold and very much flirting with impertinence like duretti tries to seduce her into his clique the way he did lilith and it fails astronomically and she basically tells him to go fuck himself?? to A CARDINAL?? DIRECT OVERSIGHT OVER THE OCS?? FROM THE VATICAN??? "you may always count on me to remain faithful. to God." and did you call him a power hungry whore too did you give him the finger beatrice???????

anyway I miss this show so fucking much

[canonicallyobserving911]

Eddie Diaz's "Ghost of a Second Chance"

IMO, in 7x7, Eddie Diaz will have a chance to see or hear how the life he always believed he was "supposed" to have with a wife and kids is not the life he's been WANTING. Based on his heart eyes and the way he's used Chris as a shield for his heart, his ideal life includes a husband (Buck) and their son (Chris).

Be clear, I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!

I waited to post this because when season 7 started, it was unclear where the show was going to take Eddie's storyline and it appears the redirection of it that happened prior to 7x4 and 7x5 was not the original plan since it's been confirmed via interviews that Eddie was supposed to be with T*mmy instead of Buck. Also, now that it's confirmed Shannon Diaz will make a return in a future season 7 episode as either a ghost or a hallucination or whatever for Eddie, I decided I was ready to post this.

At the end of season 6 when Eddie asked Maris*l out on a date, I thought about the way the narrative has always shown Shannon is the only person who can help Eddie understand Chris doesn't need another mother. He's been carrying the weight and guilt of their relationship around with him for years because he thought him going to the Army broke her when in fact, they were two broken teenagers who were in over their heads and they were so busy trying to mimic the lives they saw Eddie's parents living that they never discussed what either of them wanted out of life.

Unpopular Opinion: Eddie and Shannon were NOT this perfect high school aged Romeo and Juliet type of romantic couple some people keep trying to make them out to be because the truth is they weren't soulmates and they weren't compatible. While it's true they were best friends, they were never on the same page and they didn't know how to communicate. Instead of talking to each other, all they did was argue and have sex but matured relationships consist of more than just sex, hence the 7x5 depiction of Eddie's relationship with Maris*l. They don't know each other and the episode title, "You don't know me" confirmed it.

Full Disclosure: I'm not a Shannon Diaz fan and it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH BUDDIE! It's strictly because she ABANDONED Chris, her biological son and the fact that she was a teen mother doesn't have anything to do with it because it does NOT excuse her behaviors. Teenage girls who were/are younger than her don't/didn't run out on their kids just because they need/needed time. If she didn't want to be with Eddie anymore that's fine but to leave and not attempt to contact her son for almost two years was NOT ok. She wrote Chris a letter that she wasn't even sure she would send but what happened to a phone call or her sending him a "Hey Chris, I love you and I miss you" email? Even back then there were too many ways she could have contacted him but the CANON FACTS are SHE CHOSE NOT TO. If Eddie wouldn't have called her to interview at Durand she would have stayed gone. Don't get it twisted because she was getting ready to leave Chris again so people should stop romanticizing their relationship and truthfully, so does Eddie. For CANON proof of these claims, all viewers have to do is LISTEN to the things she said to him in 2x17 when they were at the beach and when they were at the restaurant.

Eddie's my favorite character but he's not blameless in any of this either and by his own admission to Buck in 2x10, he left them first. But the difference is he made the DECISION to leave El Paso so he could provide a better life for him and his son even though his toxic mother, Helena (I'm not including Ramon because he had a redemption arc) offered to take Chris from him. He could have left Chris there but HE DIDN'T. He even told Shannon that being Chris' father taught him more about being a man than war ever could.

One last thing, Shannon and Maddie ARE NOT THE SAME! Maddie didn't abandon Jee-Yun, she left because she thought she was a danger to her and she went to get help. She wasn't in Boston galivanting around, shopping and partying like it was 1999, she went to a center for women to figure out what was wrong with her and why she felt like she did then she continued with therapy.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

While I don't like Shannon's actions, I do believe she's probably the only person who can help Eddie understand that he doesn't have to marry a "woman" to be happy. Why do I believe this? Well, they were best friends and they were married which means she knows things about Eddie that no one else does. She was the first woman he "pulled" away from and since they were separated for a long time while he was in the Army and after she left them, it's likely she figured some things out about what he really wants that neither of them was ready to confront.

Since 2x1, Eddie's story has been told in bits and pieces and while a lot of people romanticized what he had with her, I didn't because they were young and neither one of them knew what they wanted. Did he love her? He said he did but IMO he loved her as much as an 18-year-old could but I don't believe he was in love with her. Did she love him? She said she did but just like him, based solely on her actions, she didn't know what love was either.

Reminder, the only reason Eddie proposed they reconcile in 2x17 was because she thought she was pregnant again. He said he was looking for a sign and he thought her begin pregnant was it but before that he didn't want to do it. If you don't believe it, rewatch 2x17 and LISTEN to the conversation he had with Bobby. Bobby was the one who told him he would be a great dad to a second child but Eddie wasn't so sure. At dinner, when Shannon said, "I'm not pregnant", he paused then responded, "That doesn't change anything" but she rebutted with, "It does for me".

It appears she finally admitted to him that the life they were trying to live was NOT the one either of them wanted but he wasn't ready to admit it. He was using Chris as a shield like he always does and he was hoping her love for their son would be enough for them to reconcile and continue doing whatever they were doing. He said something similar to Ana when he broke up with her in 5x3. He said, "Chris loves you so much" but he never said he did and now he's trying to figure out where Maris*l fits since she babysat twice while he was flying in helicopters going to fight matches in Las Vegas and to karaoke with TK.

Believe it or not, Shannon was getting ready to leave again. If she wasn't then she wouldn't have brought up the letter she wrote to Chris. Also, she said she was still learning how to be someone's mother (notice she didn't say Chris' mother she said someone's) and she said maybe someday, she could learn how to be somebody's wife (not Eddie's wife but somebody's). Furthermore, when they were at the beach, she asked Eddie, "Is that all I am to you, Christopher's mother?" but he responded, "Shannon?" and deflected the conversation. Then she said if that's what it is then it's ok. She proceeded and asked him what he wanted and all he said was "All of this" with a hand wave out towards the ocean. He never admitted what he wanted and it appears the reason was because he didn't want to say.

In 2x7, while they were arguing, Eddie asked her, "What didn't I give you?" and her response was "You!" Therefore, Eddie always kept a piece of himself away from her and she admitted it to him but he wanted it to work probably for the wrong reasons.

REMINDER: In 2x17, Shannon was the one who said they needed to get a DIVORCE! She knew they needed to move on but Eddie was the one who said, "But we're still married". It appears he was the one trying to hold onto the life he believed they were supposed to have and I think it goes back to the example he saw from his parents.

Here's the thing, in 6x16, Eddie admitted he didn't propose to Shannon, he just said, "Let's get married" after they found out she was pregnant. They were best friends in high school and they started an instant family that neither of them were ready for. When she abruptly died, he didn't have a chance to discuss all the things they'd left unsaid. That's why Shannon has to be the one to tell him that it's ok for him to want who he wants. Who's that? BUCK!

Shannon vs. Buck

Please understand the show has illustrated it time and time again that Eddie wants to marry Buck so they can raise Chris together. If that wasn't the case, then Buck wouldn't have been included in Eddie's flashbacks in 3x15 while he was trapped in the well as many times as he was. He was shown with Chris more than anyone else which means Eddie thinks about the life he wants to have with Buck A LOT!

Additionally, in 7x1, Buck, Eddie and Shannon all sat on Chris' bed in the same spot to illustrate how they're his three parents while the babysitter (Maris*l) was nowhere to be found (related post linked here).

Also, Shannon's romantic relationship with Eddie and her parental one with Chris were constantly contrasted with the relationships Eddie and Chris have with Buck and Buck has always been shown to be the perfect match for Eddie. Reminder, he agreed to have Buck's back in 2x1 but Shannon told him in 2x7 that he never had her back.

Eddie needs to HEAR he can move on from the first person he married from someone other than the people who've been saying it to him. Also, in the past, someone's ALWAYS told him what to do regarding his relationships. He was "strongly encouraged" to marry Shannon because he got her pregnant. His parents and Bobby told him it was time to move on from her in season 4 (YES! His parents did too because reminder, they stopped by their house to eat on their way back to L.A. after they left Austin, TX [in the LS crossover episode, Eddie said it to Judd] and two episodes later, in 4x6, Bobby told him he needed to move on). Then in 6x14, Tia Pepa pushed him to start dating again even though he tried to tell her he wasn't ready.

The point of this post is Shannon is probably the ONLY person who can show or tell Eddie that the life he thought they should have had, wouldn't have ever been because there would have always been someone or something that was pulling him away from her the same way it did when they were married 👀.

It appears Shannon will be Eddie's "Ghost of a Second Chance" but the question is, will her reappearance as a ghost or whatever for the second time in season 7 help Eddie admit the person he's in love with is Buck? Only the showrunner, writers and producers know the answer to that question.