#marstons hat too big he looks like a loser

[um97]

whatever man i'm not gonna finish 'em anyway

[redemptionbaby]

Hi! I’m in love with your headcanons! The way you portray the characters is spot on in my opinion. Can I request a headcanon of Arthur and perhaps John, Bill and Hosea (only Arthur will br just as appreciated, your choice). Reacting to their s/o claiming them as their in a conversation with another? Like someone mentioning that some girl id interested in them, and reader going “We’ll to bad, their mine.” Thank you in advance!!

Thank you!

John Marston

Ever since the scars, John Marston hasn’t been quite as popular with the ladies

But for a few daring girls who can look past it, or the ones that go for the tall dark and dangerous? He’s dreamy

When you meet him for your next job in the nearby saloon, a young lady has him backed up against the bar while he flinched away from the conversation awkwardly

“Yes, I bet a rugged guy like you could look after a lady like me without much trouble at all!” She cooed, batting her eyelashes

“I’m afraid you’ll have to find your own dumbass ma’am, this one is mine”

You whisk him away from the situation, leaving John’s admirer dumbstruck

It takes John over an entire minute to realize you called him a dumbass, but he still thought it was sweet

Bill Williamson

If you thought John wasn’t used to be hounded by womenfolk, you ain’t seen Bill

Once in a blue moon he catches the eye of a woman from his stature, if he doesn’t have competition from the other, more conventionally attractive gang members

It happens so infrequently that he doesn’t know how to respond that doesn’t get him slapped, much less indicate that he’s taken

Luckily for him, you’re on the case

“You goin’ somewhere after this, handsome?” She rests her hand on the bed of curls coming from Bill’s undone buttons. Your curls.

“Yes in fact, he’ll be quite busy in our bed tonight, madam.”

You sling your arms around his neck like a newlywed bride and he blushes intensely, one of his arms coming to catch your waist as you both stumble with his height and the suddenness of your embrace

The lady shrugged, not a sore loser by any means, and bid to goodnight. Bill has trouble meeting your eyes.

“I meant what I said you know, about our bed. So let’s get busy!”

High Honor Arthur

He can have a hard time saying no to young girls, ever the sensitive man that he is. He hates being a heartbreaker

You don’t have the same weakness though

As you finish off another successful job for a big ranch owner, the many girls working there swarm Arthur like a bunch of chicks to breadcrumbs

They chat and remark upon how brave he was, and how grateful they are, and how handsome he is

You carefully weave your arm through them to grab Arthur and pull him out while he’s blistering and trying to deny them unsuccessfully

“Sorry ladies, the big boy here has to come home with me.”

And the authority with which you saunter away with him has them questioning if they were fawning over the right person

Arthur will lower his hat over his eyes an cough out an embarrassed thank you before mounting up

Low Honor Arthur

This same high society girl has been hounding him all night at this party, while he’s been trying desperately to stay polite for the sake of his cover

She’s unrelenting and way too intense, talking about her family name and how much her daddy would love him, asking if he’s ever had a betrothed

As he’s about to lose his temper and rip her a new one, you step in, embracing his side and raising your face to kiss his cheek. You’re rubbing into his side like a needy housecat.

“Oh, how I missed you darling. You weren’t waiting for me long, were you?”

He chuckled with a sort of dangerous satisfaction, sadistic, even

“Not at all sweetheart, and don’t worry, I didn’t have any fun without you.”

The young girl becomes terribly embarrassed, and chooses to stomp away before saying something to embarrass herself further, fully aware of Arthur’s intentions with those words

“That was cruel of you, Arthur.”

“Now I disagree, darlin’. I think it woulda been more cruel to let ‘er think she had a chance in hell when I’ve already got you.”

[bloojayoolie]

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time