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kainefloyd · 4 years ago

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{ KJ APA . CIS MALE . 23 . HE/HIM } did you see that { KAINE ‘KAI’ FLOYD } just pulled up in hidden hills with { LORENA RAMOS } sitting next to them in the passengers seat - isn’t that cute ! you know, for a { NBA PLAYER - LAKERS }, i’ve heard they’re really { INDECISIVE }, but that they make up for it by being so { CHARMING }. i see them all the time on snapchat && yesterday in US WEEKLY i read that they { HAVE } 2 sons - can you believe that ?!

some basics;

Kaine ‘Kai’ Floyd is originally from Hawaii. He is Samoan & Hawaiian.

Goes by the nickname K-9 in the NBA for his name and number.

Born August 19th

Most of his friends back home call him Kai.

There’s over 100 people in his immediate family. At this rate, he has lost count.

Oldest of 9 siblings.

Has the two most cutest, adorable baby boys with Lorena.

He’s a starting point guard for the LA Lakers

Attended UCLA for college where he got drafted out of. Never finished his degree.

Works with lots of children organizations and likes to give back to kids however he can.

Has endorsement deals with top athletic brands, drinks and his own branch/line off of everything he partakes in.

Him and Lorena were on basketball wives. They have a huge fan base of their relationship on social media thanks to the reality show.

Lives HERE currently

as a dad;

Father of Two Sons; Tide Alexander and Evian Reign.

Tide’s nickname are Ty, Ty Guy, My Ty. And Evian’s are Evy but Tide calls him baby Evy

He wants as many kids as Lo will give him. He’s huge into family, loves being a dad and is very careful when it comes to sex. His goal is to only have one baby mama in life that he’s in love with, can spoil and get to tie down/be a stay at home mom which can be an argument/disagreement point that we can work on.

Tide and Evian are his parents first grandkids, his grandparents first great grands and he has a sister who is four. His parents were young when they had him and now only 45 & 44. and his grandparents are in their 60′s and 70′s.

He’s such a push over, his kids pouts and when they wrap their arms around his neck or want to be held makes him melt.

They literally are the light of his life. Nothing means more to him than those two little boys.

Has a play room for them that is extreme, full out little kid basketball court, swing set inside, slides, arts and craft sections, all the toys, everything.

Tells bad dad jokes sometimes. Okay most of the time.

Has their names tattoo’d over his heart

Kaine will also be there to babysit, help out single moms and do whatever whenever. He’s super caring and loves friends that can turn into family. There’s nothing more that this guy loves than throwing down a huge bbq for everyone, being behind the grill and when the kids go to bed, turning up with all the drinks.

lorena;

Love of his life.

Her smile and laugh are everything. Making her blush and their size difference. Huge turn ons.

They have an on again, off again relationship since Evy. which he hates for him and his sons but knows he is an ass and they have to figure their shit out before having another kid.

Kaine can be super romantic at times, makes sure to include things she enjoys like candles and pays attention to the little things she loves in life.

Still keeps her closet open at his place, buying her things to have there to try and get her to spend the night.

Compares every girl in his life to her.

Flirts around sometimes but that’s mostly his personality when they’re off cause she’s kinda hot when jealous?

Downfall is Kaine. entirely. they are set for life with money and their family’s shares in ebay, then the millions he makes from the nba, his endorsement deals, reality tv and all of that so he expects lo to want to be a stay at home mom?

He’s a dumb dumb but literally is the type to grab up on her butt and kiss her neck, very affectionate with her is his personality no matter what.

Expresses his appreciation and admiration for her frequently for their family, their sons and her, etc.

Wants to always provide for her, in lots of ways.

Never gives up hope they’ll be together forever. that’s why he hasn’t really laid down roots in his place? because he has his own ideas.

Wants to build an empire with her.

Knows how lucky he is and like, admits it but has big jerk energy sometimes when it comes to pride and needs to recognize her dreams matter too? like she is an amazing mom and wifey type. 100 percent. but she should get to live out what she wants to do just like he does.

His father is the terrible influence he learned things from and his mom really needs to speak to him about all of this.

his hawaiian family life;

His father was super unfaithful and always stepping out on his mom. They had a very toxic relationship, but in the culture, his mom was pretty much left to deal with it.

Christianity and church is an important aspect in Hawaii so is their image.

They are Hawaii’s most famous family.

Kaine is the oldest of 8 kids that he knows of? would love a half sibling.

Kaine’s Tutu and Tuma (what he calls his paternal grandparents) are the matriarchs of the family and own acres and acres of land. They are beyond rich and created their own compound beachside where they had custom homes built for their children.

Kaine’s paternal grandfather and father are part owners of ebay and billionaires.

Kaine’s mother, Maria came from nothing. She was a model in New York City when she met Kaine’s father, Elei - EJ for short who was there for business. Her parents didn’t approve of her running off to marry him, but it wasn’t a question in her eyes. It was what she wanted to do and thought he was going to provide her with a life of luxury that allowed her to continue to stay in the modeling world.

All of his brother’s and sisters carry on the Hawaiian tradition with strong, Hawaiian names that came from ‘dreams’.

Maria is always in town as often as she can to visit, stays usually at Kaine’s and brings some of his siblings. Her family is estranged and she is struggling with trying to reconnect with them after all of these years.

kaine’s personal life;

Super loaded & knows what he likes and doesn’t in this world.

Is pretty private about things, not super flashy. Isn’t one for suits and stuff like that, even on game day. He does dress up during the playoffs though.

He’s into surfing, skateboarding, the island life and living, four wheeling, going on adventures, tanning and living more relaxed when he can.

His home is super open planned which he fixes and gates up accordingly when he has his kids, don’t worry.

Loves a good beer, chilling outdoors, going to the beach or having a bonfire on a Friday night.

Listens to all kinds of music.

His party habits are kind of wild when he does go out, though.

Dark Liquor has him crazy, tequila makes him super duper horny.

Def sends Lo risky texts when he’s drunk and you can tell by the look on his face when it’s time for him to go home.

Kaine is into working out, very dedicated to his ab life, has a home gym and a half basketball court at his house outside but also a personal trainer he visits and has over. His work is never done.

Very strict with his diet and has a chef that cooks for him weekly, prepares meals and stacks his fridge and freezer.

Tattoos are life. Has 12 currently and his artist on speed dial.

Has a huge man cave, collects old school vintage band and sports memorabilia.

Also into buying arcade games for his home to play at any time.

Is best friends with lots of top named players in the league and has a close, big brother/big brother relationship with Lebron James. Kobe was his idol.

Cars. This boy has 8 in Hidden Hills alone.

The house he owns is massive, but hates living in it without Lo.

Family owns a few private jets.

Wants to get dogs, he has some back in Hawaii that are his family dogs but for now he’s waiting until him and Lorena lay grounds better? Plus, he knows she loves her pup and doesn’t want to try and one up her.

connections;

in between on and off times with his baby mama, he has had some dating flings featured in the tabloids. not all are true, some are just friendships.

he knows that people could use him easily for fame and clout, so he is protective of himself and who he lets in his life.

no one random their sons ever. he’s extremely protective of them and his privacy, but is trying to make sure to branch out more and make more parent buddies.

as for friends, he’s a guy’s guy. loves saturdays being for the boys. would love all the friendships.

you can count on kaine to show up and come through with helping you whenever you’re in need. he’s a good listener, doesn’t care much about drama so you don’t have to worry about him repeating anything.

#hiddenhintros #kaine floyd | about #character study | muse #character study | kaine floyd

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breanime · 6 years ago

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The Best of Him

@floralpeaceofmind requested father!Billy, so here it is! I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! This is pure fluff, guys!

*gif not mine*

Billy Russo was a lot of things. He was handsome—obviously—wealthy, successful, a rags-to-riches story come to life, ruthless, deadly, merciless… At one time, all that would have been enough to define him. Even after he met Frank and Curtis—a defining moment in his life—Billy wouldn’t have updated his list of adjectives. It wasn’t until you that he started to see himself as something different, something more.

You made him Billy Russo: lovestruck boyfriend. It wasn’t until you that he started to feel bored of bar-hopping and instead spent his time cuddling with you on the couch. Somehow, he went from mocking couples and seeing himself as an eternal playboy to not being able to sleep without you and staring at you wondering how he got so lucky. It’s not like he just devolved to some simpering lovesick fool—he was still him, still the best at his job, still over 100 confirmed kills and proud of it—but now Billy felt…complete. A little (a lot) more tethered to this earth because of you, Billy finally understood what Frank had been talking about when he would gush about Maria. It made the pain Frank dealt with every day that much more palpable for Billy. He thought to himself, as he held you at night or wasted time at work playing Words With Friends with you: I get it. I get why Frank risked everything for his family. I get it.

Except he didn’t, not quite. Not until you, tears in your eyes, uttered the words “I’m pregnant.”

That was when Billy Russo truly knew what fear felt like. He hid it well, of course. Billy had years of practice with pushing his feelings down, and while it was harder with you, it wasn’t impossible to do. It was actually easy in this case, you were so scared about being a mother that Billy was able to push his own anxieties to the side in order to assuage yours. He had every faith in you, and told you so.

“You make me so happy,” he was fond of telling you, “you’re gonna be an amazing mother.”

He didn’t have that same confidence in his own abilities. Billy stayed up all night, looking down at his perfect woman, the mother of his unborn child, and felt nothing but fear and panic course through him. He loved you more than he loved himself—which was saying a lot, and he really was happy you were having his child, but… How could he be someone’s father? How could he, with his broken childhood, his diseased genes, his cursed Russo blood, how could he raise a child? What if he couldn’t love it? Yes, he loved you, and Frank, and Curtis, but you were people, you were already built with your own personalities and world experience by the time he came along. A baby was brand new, a blank slate. Innocence. How could he relate to innocence?

Billy didn’t let you see his fears; if anything, he made a point to project certainty and confidence with you. He knew you were afraid he’d turn tail and leave—and a few years ago, you would have been right. But he was invested now, he loved you, he wanted to be with you, and even if he was right…even if he couldn’t be a father, he could at least provide for you both. That was already a whole hell of a lot more than his father ever did for him. He went to every doctor’s appointment (and was congratulated for that as if it wasn’t just a simple prerequisite) and read every parenting book there was to prep for the big day. He thought that would help him get over each hurdle, but he was still almost paralyzed with fear the first time he felt the baby move. He still got physical whiplash from your emotional whiplash, he still got grossed out at the weird combinations of food you wanted to eat, he still got surprised when you would burst into tears at dog commercials, and he still ran to Frank with his tail tucked between his legs when you would hand his ass to him in an emotional frenzy. Billy spent the whole of your pregnancy focusing on you; making sure you had the best doctors in the city, hiring a personal chef for the house, giving you hour long massages that almost always ended up in slow, gentle sex. Your being pregnant made Billy fall more and more in love with you every day. And every day he was more and more terrified of what would happen, what you would do when you finally saw that he would never be father material.

He needn’t have feared.

Billy was a bundle of nerves when you went into labor. Curtis had to take him outside while he had a panic attack right before you delivered the baby. Frank, meanwhile, was pretty certain that you had broken his hand during the contractions. Billy was right there with you when the baby came and cut the umbilical cord himself. He was the first one to hold the baby.

Once Billy looked down at his wailing son for the first time ever, it was over.

He was in love.

It was like holding everything good in the world in his arms, it was like seeing every joy, every triumph of his life in one perfect being. Billy couldn’t take his eyes off of his son; he was shaking with the sheer force of the love he felt coursing through him, it was as if every paternal switch he had in his mind had been turned on at once and he knew in that moment that he would die for that child. He would kill for that child. It was in that moment, as he looked down at the tiny human in his arms, the perfect combination of him and you, that scary, serene, otherworldly moment that he finally, truly understood Frank. Billy knew then, looking into the face of his baby boy, that there was no force on hell or on earth that could keep him from his child. He felt the strongest sense of love, the strongest urge to protect, that he had ever felt in his life.

And it only grew from there.

Billy was a slave to his son from the first toothy smile. For the first time in his life, Billy found himself working less and spending more and more time at home with the baby. He spent hours—literal hours—watching the baby sleep, holding him and kissing him and talking to him. You would come home and see the two of them on the couch; Billy with your son on his chest talking about Anvil or his days in the military. Billy was the only one who could get your son to stop crying. Even you—with the allure of breastmilk and your incomparable mommy smell—were no match for Billy in the eyes of your son. The two of them were peas in a pod, best friends, and nothing could infiltrate their relationship…

…except the arrival of your daughter.

Billy didn’t cry when he first met his daughter, but you swore you’d seen tears in his eyes when he first held her (Billy argued that you were too high on pain meds to know what you were talking about). For Billy, it was a new kind of instantaneous love with his daughter. She had him wrapped around her little finger from the womb. The labor was rough on you, so Billy really had to pull double-duty with the kids while you recovered—something he was more than happy to do. There were many a day where you would wobble into the nursery to see Billy, still dressed in his suit from work, burping your daughter on his shoulder while telling your son, who liked to stand in his sister’s crib laughing his head off, some watered-down war story that he would only interrupt to shush the baby or tell you to “get back to bed before I carry you back”. Your son would then start yelling at you in baby language, presumably telling you to listen to his Daddy, which led to all three of them escorting you back to your room and piling into bed with you—which you absolutely loved. Your household was one of love and affection, a concept that Billy would never have equated with his life. Every day when he woke up next to you or under a mountain of tiny limbs climbing all over him demanding pancakes, he thanked his lucky stars that this was his life.

By the time your son was three and your daughter was two, Billy was a fulltime family man. He cut his work hours down significantly, built you the perfect home for all of you to live in together, and found himself head over heels in love with his life. He would do anything for you and his kids…

…which is how you ended up with a tiny kingdom erupted in your backyard for your daughter’s birthday. Both of the kids were dressed as knights—“Mommy princess, Mommy princess!” your daughter had screamed, successfully boxing you in as the princess while everyone else got to be kickass knights—while Frank and Curtis were dressed up as a dragon and a kind king, respectively. Billy, who had a homemade sword held together with glue and glitter, had one arm around your waist as he taped the kids playing on his phone. Your son was at the top of the inflatable castle throwing grenades (oranges) down at a roaring Frank while Curtis was sitting at the bottom letting your daughter put stickers on his face. There were a few other little kids around from daycare and preschool with their parents, but Billy was only focused on his family.

He laughed as his brave, protective little boy threw orange grenades at Frank the dragon, who kept flinging himself onto the ground in pretend-agony.

“Take that, Uncle Frankie!” He yelled. “I’ll save you Mommy, I’ll save you Daddy!”

Billy turned his attention to his baby girl, his happy, healthy ray of sunshine that could turn him to jelly with one turn of her sweet little head, who was squealing with joy at all the commotion. There was nothing more beautiful than his little girl’s smile, no sweeter sound than her joyous giggle. His smile grew as he watched his baby try to emulate her brother, something she’d been doing more and more recently.

“Unc Fwankie bad! No no, Unc Fwankie,” she yelled, pulling on Curtis’ ears as an emphasis. “I help my big bruddah!”

“You know we’re raising little pyschos, right?” You asked, leaning your head against Billy’s shoulder.

“I know,” he grinned, “it’s amazing.”

You sighed, a smile on your lips. Billy looked down at you and felt his heart swell. How could one man be so damn lucky? He leaned down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your waiting lips. “I love you,” he said.

“Love you, too.”

“And I was thinking…” Billy smirked.

“That’s never a good sign…”

“…It’s great to have two brave knights around the house,” he began, “but wouldn’t it be even better if we had, I dunno…three?”

You couldn’t keep yourself from laughing out loud. Billy had been hinting at wanting another child for a while now, so you weren’t surprised at his comment. And honestly, it was hard not to want to indulge him when he gave you two perfect children already and was the best damn dad you’d ever seen. The night before your son’s first day at daycare, Billy was a mess of nerves—it was so cute, you couldn’t keep your hands off him. “How about we get these first two through elementary school first, and then we’ll talk?” You grinned up at him, so unbelievably in love with that man.

Billy kissed you again, and you felt him wrap both arms around you, pulling you close.

“Hey,” Frank’s voice was a little hoarse from all the roaring, “this is a children’s party, man!”

“Yeah, get a room, you two!” Curtis joined in.

“We have a room,” your son pointed his plastic sword at your house before dropping it—and an armful of oranges—as he had an epiphany, “Get in here! Daddy bring Princess Mommy up here!” He ordered. Your daughter shrieked in agreeance.

You shook your head; you knew where this was going, where it always ended.

“Well,” Billy pocketed his phone and turned to you, “you heard what the man said.”

“Billy Russo,” you put a finger up, “don’t you dare.”

His answering smile was blinding. “Sweetheart,” he put one hand on your waist and pulled you towards him, “I can’t disobey an order.”

“Billy…” You weren’t able to finish your thought because Billy bent over, threw you over his shoulder, and carried you King Kong-style up the castle. You screamed, laughing all the while, and pounded on his shoulder. You could hear the unmistakable laughter of your babies and their uncles, and were nearly breathless with laughter by the time Billy got you all the way up to the top.

Your son climbed in your lap and kissed both you and Billy on the cheeks before going back to fighting off the fierce dragon (that you had to remember to buy beer for after this). Billy leaned back against the wall of the castle, one arm around you with a smile on his face. Curtis, taking pity on Frank, passed the baby over to Billy so that he could slay the dragon himself and put Frank out of his pretend misery.

Billy watched his two only, true friends—respected veterans both—make complete fools of themselves for the sake of his children, looked over at his son, happy and loved and safe, down at his baby girl in his arm, and then to the side where you were smiling beside him and thought back on his life. Billy Russo was a lot of things, but the thing that made him the happiest, that fulfilled parts of him that he never even knew he had, that part that was surrounded by and engulfed by this overwhelming, powerful, unconditional love…

…that part was the absolute best of him.

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I live for Uncle Frankie and Uncle Curtis. Tell me how you liked this.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #the punisher

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richardmcbain · 6 years ago

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frank castle

wow thanks stranger

favorite thing about them

i love that he's a fucking miserable old man who never learned how to process emotion in a healthy way and is just constantly trapping himself in worse and worse situations so he never has to learn how to move on.

i love how hard he tries to keep people from becoming him like he pushes so many people away because he doesn't want them in this lifestyle and as hard as he is on matt for being a (pussy) hypocrite he's even harder on him during cell block D when he starts to agree with frank. like he has to keep doing this because if he gives up vigilantism he will have nothing left... “you don’t wanna be me” ouchie ;w;

i love that he's still so good with children like he drops ALL his bravado when a child is scared around him i love that. he has such a caring heart underneath is all just let yourself HEAL you fucking NEANDERTHAL

i love that he takes himself so seriously he says shit like "the only person who would have free access to assault rifles is me. the punisher." he says that and he means it 100% my god shut up you fucking idiot.

that one time he shot a guy for not recycling.

least favorite thing about them

the fact i can't own punisher merchandise without someone thinking i'm a blue lives matter

favorite line

A MAN WHO HASN'T ANYTHING TO LOSE CAN'T HELP BUT WIN

brotp

ok pre suicide run microchip and frank makes me eat shit and die but micro went huey emmerich on us so RELATIONSHIP ENDED RACHEL IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND

otp

if frank were able to open himself up enough to be in a romantic relationship again, he wouldn't be the punisher anymore. like its 100% dependent on him being so emotionally repressed he can justify all this. so like... OTPing frank is hard.

but i also 'short term fling' ship frank with like everyone he's ever interacted with so don't listen to me.

i guess if i really had to choose marc seems the most... probable? but henry also hits a Lot of my favorite ship tropes so tbqfhidek

notp

uhhhh i dont hate the ship but frank and matt would never work out long term even if you did write the 175k+ slowburn fic of frank getting over his grieving issues and them learning to get along like. like they just... wouldn't be able to settle down together yknow.

matt lets frank hit it once and then they don't speak to each other for 3 months and then they're back to being petty towards each other that’s how you write good fratt.

random headcanon

he’s mostly deaf on the right side.

him and maria were high school sweethearts.

he can set off a metal detector from 5 feet away solely from the amount of slugs left in him over the years

he doesn’t remember when he lost his wedding ring. he stopped going to the park on the anniversary of his family’s death after that one issue. he continually makes excuses for reasons not to until he just forgets altogether

unpopular opinion

garth ennis writes the least compelling version of frank's character because he’s the only punisher writer who thinks Frank Is Right

suicide run should be thought of an essential punisher story arc

frank shows attraction to multiple men throughout the comics history he deserves to be treated as a bicon :/

......i didn’t hate punisher volume 4. i feed off ham-fisted religious symbolism don’t talk to me.

song i associate with them

i have a spotify playlist for frank castle but none of them would make sense to anyone other than me so uh i’m cheating here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4kUIKRz23M

frank was listening to this song in vol 2 while killing someone and it’s kinda Sad 2 think about

favorite picture of them

its fucking this one i love this image so much i want it on a cake

however THIS is a very close second

^_^

#Anonymous

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skorpionkai · 8 years ago

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Well I knew this was going to happen eventually. Funny how I thought I was protecting you by hiding what I've done but in reality I was just hurting you more. But that's behind us now, now we're just going to go back to being people we used to know and that's sad as fuck honestly. We had so many good times and yes there were bad times but I can't stop myself from wanting to give you my all because the good times were the best and the bad times were just reminders that people make mistakes and that I'm not a perfect person. I would have dreams of us owning our farm. Somewhere where our 10 corgis and 10 French bull dogs could run around with our big ass family and we would live happily ever after. But now all I have are nightmares of you hating me like you do, and even scarier, you with someone else who makes you happier than I ever could. I used to think that no one could make you happier than I could, but I've come to realize I've already limited myself by damaging you so bad. You probably think that I can sleep peacefully at night, and I'm okay with the piece of shit that I am but I'm not. I'm haunted by images of what I've done. Literally every bad thing I've done to you flashes through my mind often. You forgave me after I did all that stuff in high school. You allowed me to go out of state and put up with my shitty texting, my inability to show you off like you deserved, and not to mention I forgot our one year. Yeah I'm a shitty person. It gets worse hold on. You think I forget that I cheated on you with two girls. I don't think you want to hear names so I won't say but you don't know them and both things were so dumb honestly. It started spring break, we were going though a lot of shit and Idk just took the coward way out and didn't man up and break up with you like I should've. And I didn't want to break up with you because I stopped loving you, it was because I knew I would've done some dumb shit like I did. Well anyways, yeah so the first girl was like a spring break fling and we messed around for awhile but I started having a change of heart and really felt like a disgusting piece of shit. I cut her off and drank away all the thoughts of what I've done. The second girl was when we took our break right before I came back for summer. I say it as a way for me to do what I wanted even though I knew it wasn't right. All in all I cheated with two girls and yeah there's nothing I can do to take back my decision except do you the favor of letting you go and move on. But when I came back for summer I remembered why I loved you so much after I read that thing I wrote you on Xmas that one year "I know as the days fly by we pretend like we'll be okay but I know I won't be. How could I when the greatest thing given to me, is as easily taken. Why did I choose the perfect girl? Why couldn't I be another stupid high school kid who talked to girls who would mean nothing to my life as soon as they left it. I'm not saying I'm not thankful for you and all that you've done but being without you is going to be the hardest thing.... We have had many ups and downs, and throughout the roller coaster we called us, my love for you has never changed. Whether we were at our lowest low or highest high, I knew that you were the girl I loved most and that all I want to do is make you happy. Loving you has been the easiest thing for me to do,( well besides being annoying because let's face it, I'm Kaya). You have taught me a lot and impacted me more than anyone. I didn't know what love was till I met you, I didn't know what loss and hope was until I lost you, I didn't know what perfection was until I seen you smile, I didn't know that a single person could bring me so much happiness until I met you. You have been more than just a lover to me. You have been my go to person for everything, my inspiration, and not to mention my best friend. When I look back at the moments we spent together I can only think about how happy you truly make me and I wish it would never end. A Pause. That's all I wish for, that time would pause and I can be with you forever. That these moments will never fade and you will always be with me. That tomorrow won't come and i don't have to fear being without you. I've learned a few things and one of them being that love is infinite. Although the period of infinity is different it is still infinite. At the beginning of this year you told me about how it's stupid because we're leaving and here we are, I don't want to say you were right because you weren't 100% correct. Yes, it hurts and frankly it would've been a lot easier if we didn't but if I were given 10000000000 chances to change it I wouldn't. Any moment spent loving you is worth it and to have been privileged to be with you is a reward that I can only thank god for. No one knows how happy Eva Maria Becerra can make you feel ,like I do. You have given me something that can not be matched. A lifetime of love in the period we were allowed. You are my forever and I'm your always. I love you, forever. " Yeah I kept re reading that and I couldn't understand how I could feel this way about you but still do the things I did. I was becoming sick from grief and I broke up with you. You always wondered why I broke up with you in the beginning of that summer, well how else do you stay with someone you know you did so wrong. I tried my best to forget you and let you move on peacefully but the Keenan's house thing happened and I decided I would fight through my grief and be a good guy for you again and try and make up for my wrongs. I made plans to transfer from ASU to be with you and salvage our relationship because I knew I wanted you to not only be the person I spend my life with but be the damn mother of my kids, all seriousness. I was so ready to give you my all and I just needed time to go about my plan. I went back to ASU and not talking allowed me to lose sight of what really meant a lot to me and when you said what you said, I lost it and I messed up again. I couldn't face the truth of my actions before and after seeing I hurt you again I honestly didn't know why I kept coming back to put myself in the situation to hurt you again. (I hope you're still reading this and didn't just delete the message because you hate me, I'm literally siting here in tears writing this 😅) I know the only way I can be good to you now is to stay away and I understand that now. It took a lot for me to realize that I was weighing you down, and that you are so much better without me. Sure no guy will love you like I will, but that doesn't mean you can't find a better love than even me one day. I want so much for you you. I want you to be happy, to own a million dogs, to marry drake, shit I even want you to kill me tbh cause I know how satisfying that would be for both of us. My grief is overtaking me and my anxiety is choking me. I feel like all I do is cause pain on this planet and I don't deserve to be here anymore. If it was up to me I'd go take a million pills and permanently forget about what I've done to others, myself, and most importantly you. You were the one I loved more than life itself and I took you for granted. I risked everything because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants. I know it means nothing but you're the only girl I've ever loved and it's so hard to believe that I'll ever find love again. I really wish I could make things right between us and until I can invent time travel I'm just going to have to learn to deal with the fact that I pushed the most perfect girl out of my life. I wish I could say I gave it my all but I didn't. I tried hard in the beginning and at the end but I took you for granted our whole relationship. As my final offering to you I grant you your freedom from me and I promise to not hit you up with some emotional bullshit again. I will always love you Eva Maria Becerra and I know that you might now feel the same way but just know that I think you are beautiful and smart and just overall flawless women who deserves the best. And as much as I thought that was me I'm not. I'm not the best. I'm a fuck up who will continue to fuck up. But at least I won't be able to hurt you anymore.

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kainefloyd · 5 years ago

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some basics;

Kaine ‘Kai’ Floyd is originally from Hawaii. He is Samoan & Hawaiian.

Goes by the nickname K-9 in the NBA for his name and number.

Born November 14 - Scorpio