#many ppl think being hypersexual should make u feel disgusting

[creamyparfait]

did i ever tell u all? i was actually never gonna post my writings again, i have 2 more writing blogs in genshin and hsr fandoms and they have so many eyes on them, like i think at one point my posts always consistently reached 1k at least and it scared the shit out of me

i was Not having fun, at all because i was just pandering to what i thought people would like while repressing my inner freak so to say

i was scared of getting dogpiled for writing dark unconventional queer porn even though its all fictional and not real people hurt real life humans over fiction and i’ve seen it happen so many times before my eyes and have gotten rape threats and told im worse than my groomer just bc of how i cope w the trauma of it all, through fiction that is completely harmless bc its not real at the end of the day and i tag them very well detailed

im just glad my blog went the way it did, because believe me i would not post anything creative again if the same thing that happened to me on twitter happened here too, im taking anti depressants now so i think that helps me cope w my feelings better

[herecomesnaya]

I tried defending myself about liking underage fics to someone, they said my argument is too black and white and dont make sense like, "i really do not care if it’s fictional bc someone enjoying that kinda content must be based off smth, u must get that idea from somewhere, and i think that’s really sick. that’s normalizing sexualizing children man, it’s so wrong. 1/2

"that’s normalizing sexualizing children man, it’s so wrong. u can’t say fiction and real life are two completely separate entities bc fictional elements are based off of reality!!!!!! and u really thought u said sumn with the horror movie example huh? who or what are u rooting for when u watch horror movies? bc i personally want the ppl to survive. are u reading underage fics bc u want the minors to escape the abusive relationship?" 2/3 rather

"also, not to get to close to u but what do u think ur boss or co-workers or whomever would think if they found out about u enjoying this kinda content? bc that answer should tell u enough about how problematic it is. hope u understand better !" it's bc i had made an example bc i work at an ngo to stop pedophiles from harming children but i read underage fics she rlly said this wow im

undefeatable logic here: the person’s irl career invalidated by their fictional preferences, the same way doctors aren’t allowed to watch horror movies because then they’re promoting grievous injuries

someone’s being too black-and-white here, but it’s not you, anon. enjoying fictional content isn’t, and has never been, a 1:1 “we consume the content we wish we were personally engaged in.” there are a million reasons a person might watch horror movies, just like there are a million reasons a person might want to write underage fics. it’s not “I want to see people escape a murderer” vs. “I want to watch people die,” and it’s not “I want to read about a fictional child being victimized” vs. “I want to see victimized fictional children escape their circumstances.”

I’ve told this story before, but I’ll say it again now. when I was younger, I was terrified of horror movies, to the point of not being able to be in the room if one was playing. I spent more than one Halloween locked in my bathroom, crying my eyes out because there were too many people outside wearing Ghostface masks. I was a far cry from the horror fanatic, Halloween-loving gore writer I am today!

I made a decision at a certain point to consume the media I was most afraid of, like a vaccine against that terror that made it so hard for me to function when I was a kid. horror lets me safely explore the worst-case scenario. it lets me think more about a character’s personality when I can see them at their lowest, what they might do if they’re running from a murderer or trying to escape a torture dungeon. I can dip my toes into that world and rest assured that the safety of real life is waiting for me when I get back.

I hear that person saying “they’re not the same,” so let me address the elephant in the room: sex.

so, yeah, I like horror for all the reasons I listed above. I also like guro, and noncon, and all those other ugly things when it comes to fic and smut. sexualizing horror was another way for me to own that fear, to mold it into something positive instead of negative (you hear a similar thing with rape victims who start to enjoy noncon, etc.). of course I’m still disgusted by the idea of any of that stuff in real life, but in a purely fictional context, it’s a welcome release from day-to-day anxieties.

there are people out there who like things that we can’t even dream of, for reasons we will never understand, reasons that make perfect sense for the person behind them. so much goes into human sexuality, from our formative years all the way through our lives. it’s impossible to break it down into a right-or-wrong, “this is how it works” sort of equation.

so how does this translate to fiction? take Mirror Mask. for me, that series is an exploration into the different outcomes of CSA and rape, with Dick representing hypersexuality and Jason representing sexual aversion. it’s not the Entire Point of the fic, but it’s one of many examples I could give of why I write those things for reasons that aren’t “I like the idea of kids being raped hurrrdurdurdur.” (which I don’t, at all. it disgusts me. but this? ain’t it, chief)

what matters is that you know the difference between your personal preferences and how things should be in the real world. hell, you actively make a difference to real victims, which is more than most antis on this site can say. bullying does nothing but make the person doing it feel powerful. I’d ask that person to examine why they feel the need to “make a difference” by targeting small fandom creators (who are mostly queer/female/people who are mistaken for female) instead of the adult cishet men who made the world this way.

feel free to share this with them, or anyone else you might get into these debates with. sorry I went on for so long, and I hope it helped!