#many points to conaider here....

[thatreallyminecraftsmygender]

Yknow Zaph, if you maintag your stuff, more people will see it. And if more people see it, you'll get more people leaving tags on it

You're correct

but I don't want to clog up the tags with long posts that people don't want to read, but I'm also currently resistant to adding a readmore because I do type em all on me phone, so you can see the dilemmas

Edit: I figured out readmores because my mutuals are lovely I AM VERY SMART but I'm still hesitant

[rougemidnight04]

First of all, thanks to @arting-titans for responding so quickly and letting me know what they thought was the best option I had. It helped a lot

Now, today something else happened

And its something I really regret finding out.

So to just keep you guys informed, I may be introverted but all the observing and listening makes it easier for me to get along with just everyone, i know lots of random stuff that i can entertain anyone. So i have some "friends" around.

I want to make clear that i dont meant "." To be like they are mean or not good friends. Its just friendship is something i value a lot and calling just about everyone i can talk to decently a friend doesnt seem right to me. So in my life ive only conaidered a friend about less than 10 people. One of them was my girlfriend, the other three were my guy friends, and the last one is someone i really trust. We had been friends for about 5 years (we will be six in a couple of months) And she was trustworthy, mostly.

Today we were talking about the rumors, because this classmate wants to know more, and we are talking about who started the chain. We are about to end this conversation when i hear something i still refuse to believe.

My best friend fucking lets it slip that she was the one who CONFIRMES the RUMORS.

What?

You see, they were just rumors at first, and obviously this meant the would go away and everything couldve returned to normal. But now she just fucking admits to have confirmed the rumors

Now everyone will now me as my girlfriend's ex

And a lesbian

A CLOSETED lesbian

Its just like that 'glass closet' thing

Abd i wasnt even aware.

So now she admits it, but i, in my eternal forgiving innocense, refuse to believe it. She couldnt have. So i play along and casually let a comment among the lines "and if you hadnt confirmed it" slip. And she takes the bate. She reassures me that yes she did, but it was only to mutual friends. And now she is excusing the fact that she did.

Can you imagine how many things i have said in front of these mutual 'friends' that they might have figured i did with my ex?

So now im mad

Im mad because i feel like i let this happen

Im mad because i feel betrayed

Im mad because i was a fool

And im mad because now i cant trust anyone

So im crying because this sucks and she still thinks that it wasnt wrong to the point im doubting my emotions

And of course my ex gf noticed and asked what was wrong and i couldnt tell her

Heck, i dont even know if SHE knows. To this point i feel like everybody knows and that they even know MORE than me.

So one of our mutual 'friends' also noticed and was also conserned.

I was speechless, blamed it on my sickness and remained quiet for the rest of the day

But now being alone in my room i cant help to drown in my thoughts and my regrets

So i came here where i can be me without people already knowing whats up and believing they can fix this by just saying sorry

So now i dont know what to do

Should i tell her that it was wrong and it hurt me?

Or im i just being dramatic and it was nothing?

Everything feels wrong

The worst part is that she said that they already knew the rumors so because we were mutual friends she just told them the truth. My classmate agreed.

I'm I Crazy for feeling so foolish and betrayed?

How Important Is Privacy in any In-Relationship and Post-Relationship?

Sooo

As many of my few followers may have fucking notices i am hella gay

So I just wanted to share a story and get opinions from others becuase I honestly dont know what to do

You know how you are out on the internet but closeted irl. Yeah, that me

So this is my experience

I had my first girlfriend like literally the last week of summer vacations

We both confesed and i was overflowing with love and joy becaue she was my best friend and you know the lesbian pining over bf experience?

Well, i figured i was a lesbian pretty young, and we were friends. Close friends. So i came out to her, and later she came out to me. She said that my experience helped her realize she was actually bi

Now her family is the typical homophobic family you can imagine. Catholics and antigay protesters. Im not shitting you. And my family was kind of in a gray area where they dont have a problem with gays but you can tell they dont like them, my dad actually uses some slurs that make me uncomfortable but thats it, i just pretend i dont care

So we dated and we kissed and thats it

School started and everything was fine

I was happy and she was happy

But suddenly one day she comes up to were my friends and i hang out and tells me we need to talk

Basically she tells me we need to break up becuase somehow her mom found out and thinks i turned her into this monster she isnt supposed to be. I say fine, i respected it and even though we still liked each other we didnt hung out anymore

I really dont know if stepping away was the right thing to do but thats not the problem here

So fast forward to 4 months later i decided to tell my friends about it

Because i wanted to. I wanted to share it and just bond over girls or whatever ( btw all my friends are male ) so of course i talked to her prior

We werent dating anymore but i didnt wanted to out her just like that

My friends just knew i had an expartner and thats it

So i go all the way to where she sits and ask her privately

-Can i tell my friends we dated?

-Yeah, sure tell them whatever you want

Since i overthink every little thing in life her response actually scared me, for me it was like she didnt care at all. And this could mean she didnt care enougg to keep it secret

Backing up a little bit i remembered her frienda were acting strange around since the early semester. I didnt thought much of it becuase maybe it was about us being best friends and suddenly not talking at all

But thats when it became clear

They knew

They fucking knew

EVERYTHING

Even one of my friends i was supposed to come out to MYSELF knew

And i just felt betrayed

And they all acted like they didnt

Hell i remeber the face of the friend i knew when i told him i was gay and i dated my bff

He actually had a fucking knowing smirk

And god did it felt awful to just know that she outed me to people i dont even talk to

So i decided to run a secret investigation and found out she told 11 people aproximately in a span of 2 weeks after we broke up

Now you might be thinking ( i dunno ) you told your friends too. So what?

Well YES i did

I told them, but i asked her if she was okay with it, I waited 4 fucking months and i only told 3 people of which one already knew

Now the thing is that i just felt that she didnt care about me at all. She could’ve told everyone and i wouldnt have known because she never said anything

If she had asked i would’ve told her im not ready

But i DIDNT HAD THAT CHOICE

so know that all is settled lets get into the confusing part

As weird as it seems, i interrogated several people about this

And what I came across is just outrageous

So turns out she first told them she was bi and that she had dated a girl from our grade. After that (according to what she told me later) she felt pressured to tell them who she had dated .But others tell me otherwise

She just told them out of the blue

She seemed so chill about it, not like it was an important confession. I dont know about y'all but if i was her i would’ve keep my mouth shut (as rude as it sounds,sorry) and just let them know i had been in a relationship with a girl. Thats fine

Thats something i couldve lived with

But then she comes forward pointing at me and outing me to several people i dont even know. So to save all the details. Basically everyone i questiones says a different thing everytime i ask

They say she confessed within 2 weeks, then it was 1 month, and then they said it wasnt her the one who said it first

I just dont know

I know they are trying to protect her because they know it made me angry. Emphasis in made

Because it was fine

I wanted to be good with everyone. So i swallowed my anger and bit my tongue

But 2 months in the 2nd semester theres rumors. People are saying she is gay and had a girlfriend. Now, she assured me she only told trustwhorthy people, so our secret was safe. But fucking somehow they found out about her

And they connected it to me. So now they think we are gay and dated

I investigated again. But there wasnt much to be done. She isnt exactly sublte about being lgbt And i didnt mind. She is confident with her sexuallity, but im not, YET. So it was easy to track the clues in her social media and voila. Everybody knows she is gay. Which she isnt. Kinda. Shes bi .And for whatever reason they link her to me

And trust me I hide it so well, people actually think i am dating my male bff. Hes like my beard. He doesnt like it but its not like we can do anything. I dont like it either but honestly im glad. Our classmates are homophobic and racists and it hurts to hear them talk like that

So they know and it spreads like wildfire, i walk with many staring at me. Waiting for something to happen.for me to snap and confirm their suspicions.

That thay i cried like ive never cried in my life

Everybody knows. Or at least they are suspecious.

I get a message from my ex saying shes afraid

Shes heard the rumors too

My only thought was

“She brought this on herself”

I felt so disgusted with my thoughts that i decided to give her my support

3 days have passed and people stare mildly but i can feel them. We agreed on not even looking in the same direction to not create suspicion. But we are in the same friend group by now. And im getting so mad. Becuase she still looks like she doesnt care. So i had enough

I send her a voice m that day and told her what i felt I was as nice as i could be even though i was angry becuase even though she was being obvious its not her fault, so she apologizes and we never speak again. But suddenly i miss her, and she misses me, so we try it again, which doesnt work out and i break her heart and then she hates me, which im oddly fine with. Right now we are “friends” she said it hurts but she doesnt want to lose me, and i still care about her so we still hang out around each other even if we dont talk, but theres times that i remember. And im filled with anger, becuase i dont know how it shouldve been handled.

This all came back today because we are writting a gossip notebook. Someone writes something they want to know about people and the whole classroom has to answer, so if you want to ask your crush how to make them the perfect date you just write the question and they and other answers. Easy.

The problem is, we are fucking teenagers. Of course there’s going to be questions about love and relationships and being a virgin. This is allowed at school as long as it stays in the notebook, and the notebook stays at the classroom of the subject, only students can read it, so we are free.

Now of course these question are chaotic for many reasons. And im afraid she might write the secret. I dont want to ask her, but her friends noticed my concerns and told me she wouldnt. But this activity is all about getting to now your classmates and sharing your thoughts, its honestly the best and id love to pour my heart into the words but im afraid and im not ready

And i feel like and hypocrite if i dont

And i know she feels that way too

ANYWAYS

thats the reason im back at it again with problematic closeted tales

I just want opinions

What she did was right?

Im i allowed to be angry?

What do I do about the gossip nb?

Should i finally let go of this?

It just feels like a betrayal to me, is it though?