#many many observant ppl have noted that the ultimate goals of transphobia and transmisogyny flow towards excluding bodies that don’t

[burinazar]

hi anon this sounds a lot like how i experience gender and i particularly relate to “genuinely truly doesn’t mind being referred to as a woman by others” and “not wanting to cause a fuss or be selfish/not asking too much of others” so thought I’d weigh in if you want to hear from someone with a lot of the same going on (feel free to msg as well)

looking at the experience of gender part alone — ppl like us are valid to use whichever labels suit u best out of nb, trans, gnc, genderqueer, and combinations thereof, so freely pick what you want. i usually go with some form of “gnc woman” if I have to specify and don’t feel it’s productive for me personally to try and nail it down further

looking at the rest of it, whether you feel like you’d personally enjoy using specific labels or not/just end up anxious over them — part of being outside the stringent proscribed societal definitions of gender (you are, i am, we are!) is you don’t have to use any labels you don’t want to

if you don’t personally feel you’d enjoy referring to yourself as “nonbinary” specifically, you can just be you, and consider yourself no particular label or fine with whatever others consider you. it’s wholly personal. you do *qualify* so don’t worry about that, but if the most comfortable approach to living authentically for you is *not* adopting some particular label (ex. not specifically considering yourself nb, because it wouldn’t particularly confer joy and/or instead cause anxiety), that’s fine too.

I’m writing to you because I don’t know who else I can speak to. I find myself questioning my relationship with gender on an almost daily basis. It’s sometimes the only thing I think I can think about. I’m happy being considered a woman by others but I can’t stand to be reminded of it when I’m stripped naked, forced to come to terms with my alien body. In a perfect world, I’d have a binder, somedays a packer and body hair for days. I still enjoy wearing makeup, following the feminine “script”, and being seen as a girl. Summers are hard. I don’t want to have to shave, but I don’t want the consequential stares or comments either. I worry that my wants are somehow selfish and won’t be respected by others if they stray too far from “the societal norm”. I feel that if I lived out this life that I dream of for myself that I will be asking too much of other people to understand. My biggest fear is not just being misunderstood, but actively making the people closest to me uncomfortable. I have no intentions of putting a target on my back that says, “Look at me! I’m making a statement!”, I just want to live authentically. As a result, I’m starting to doubt these wants and feel that maybe my fear outweighs these desires. Admittedly, I’m a little envious of the trans individuals I see online: they’re unapologetic in their wants and have found a community that loves and accepts them. Is this what it means to be cis girl- wanting to play the Woman Game on your own terms but ultimately settling for second best?

no, idiot. transgender beam attack