#many characters in the series get manipulated and i think hmmmm if i had to put it into words i think manipukatiin attenuates choice

[shallowrambles]

anon i agree with you and don’t have much to add to it except the latter paragraph is mostly what i mean sans my own hyperbole… i have a dialogue breakdown of it somewhere for andrea that gets into the nuances of how (regardless of how sympathetic i feel and how understandable i find it), that interaction for me personally comes off as: “i beat my devastating and difficult addiction and now you have two seconds to beat your own and if you don’t make the right decision and i am not enough for you to decide to try to change now (as i use somewhat antagonistic/dehumanizing/rigid language) hasta la vista bby!” 🫡❤️

i certainly agree no one was in a good place post-purgatory and everyone who battled there was prone to giving into that sense of hopelessness!

[queen-vv]

multiples of 6^^

(+-1 if you already did the question in question)

Yay thanks hehe :3

7. favorite spice?

Hmmmm I like many spices, but picking a favourite... I shall say the humble cardamom, for her powerful flavour that's good for both savoury and sweet foods :3

13. favorite type of game meat if any?

I've not really had very much game meat, if any! Oh actually does venison count? That's quite nice. I always think of game birds but I suppose venison would be game as well if it was hunted.

18. 3 TV shows or movies that were just kinda okay?

Oooh ummm my honest first thoughts are things that people would get mad at me over lol, I think I probably have a weird scale of enjoying things :p Hmm let's see, things that aren't too controversial...

Ghost in the Shell: Arise (movies/tv series) - An at first promising reimagining of the GitS series focused on the Major and crew before they got together in Section 9, it ultimately squandered it's interesting focus on the Major's vulnerabilities as both a young and relatively naive person, and as a military grade cyborg weapon. And they cut the Major's bangs too short.

Shin Kamen Rider (movie): Perhaps I'd get more out of it if I was big into the series so had some pre-existing emotional attachment, but I was ultimately disappointed by the lack of practical effects and fight scenes, and the main character turning to the camera and saying cops should just kill people to protect themselves was cringe as hell. Wasp-aug also really deserved her yuri route.

Lupin III: Part 6 (tv series): This is a tricky one, since I found the first half exactly of the show to be really boring trash, and the second half mostly actually really good up until a wishy-washy ending. The stuff with Sherlock Holmes was honestly garbage, since it's just a misunderstanding and Lupin didn't do the fucked up thing he's suspected of, which is very disappointing, but the latter half was really interesting where Lupin has a psychological break and briefly becomes his fucked up manga/first half of part 1 self, in contrast to his usually much lighter hearted persona. The ending, however, was annoyingly moralising for a master thief and killer to be lecturing someone on how it was wrong to be manipulated into an assassin and to turn themself over to the police. So it evens out to just ok, I guess.

25. any subscription service you put up with even though you know better?

Nope, I'm subscription free atm :p Piracy and youtube with adblock babyyyyyyy

30. your take on the sea serpent question?

I want to believe! Elusive large pinnipeds do indeed seem the more logical explanation than somehow extant ancient reptiles :p

[mahjeevas]

I have a friend who hates Peeta so much, because they only watched the movies. They said that Peeta is a weakling and a stalker etc.

What key point or best qualities of Peeta's I should tell them so they change their mind? Thank you 😊

(Please don't answer with, "they should read the novel, it's so good!", I've tried many times, fail every times 😑) @curiouspeetamellark

Hmmmm, lemme try 🤔

Peeta is truly benevolent. He does good things without expecting something in return! In the 74th games, he had so little expectations on his odds at winning that he solely focused on how HE could help Katniss look good and have a higher shot at winning. He joined the Careers, played the star-crossed lovers with all his heart and the only things he expected to get out of it was in regards to Katniss survival. He enjoyed the kissing and the lovey-dovey stuff? Yes, but remember that he had only one goal in mind: Katniss wins. He let himself enjoy those moments because they were the only ones he would get before his death. Peeta saw himself as a dead man walking throughout his first games and we can see it clearly when they change the rules so Peeta and Katniss have to fight to the death for the crown. Before Katniss processes the information, Peeta is already throwing his weapon in the near-by lake. Peeta never used Katniss for anything, and he might be the only character that never had a secret agenda for interacting with her throughout the series. He manipulated her, but never USED her to achieve something for him. Everytime Peeta manipulates her, he does it to make her look good, to help her into getting sponsors and with the goal to keep her alive. Even if it cost his own life.

Peeta is aware of his privilege. It might not seem clear to some readers, but he knows how the world works and he knows he's on the privileged side of things. He had his portion of suffering, yes, but never forgot that others had it way worse than him. I even think his decision to take a shot at manipulating the Capitolites and the media to his favor (in order to help Katniss) shows how he knows people think. They had careers getting all the attention, with their big personalities and all. Maybe Katniss would've end up overlooked for dodging fireballs and climbing trees and all, because she's quiet and reserved. The media tends to focus more on big personalities, you know? I do think Peeta is cunning enough to have perceived from past games that the Capitol loves: bloodthirsty tributes, sexy/beautiful tributes or tributes with big personalities and thought "how can I make her capture their attention so they can see what I see in Katniss?" since she's neither of those things. Since he knows Katniss is focused on her survival, he decides to take on a manipulative approachthat she would never think on her own. He's also aware Seam people have it way worse than the Merchant side of 12, what with him throwing her the bread without caring for the consequences. Katniss thought he was blind from the horrors of the Capitol up until he donated money for Rue and Thresh's families.

Peeta is kind. He condones war because he thinks the Capitol and 13 will mutually destroy each other. He plays the game up until the end of the series, but he never thought killing was the answer to anything. He resorts to manipulation, because it requires a conversation and, hopefully, an understanding rather than resorting to violent acts. It might not be a good thing, because when the other side is not up for debate and is full-on committed to murder anyone that stands against them, conversation is not exactly the answer, yeah? Peeta wanted a revolution based on telling an attractive and inspiring narrative that would change everybody's minds, but... yeah, we all know revolutions are never made with only words. It does show he's very respectful of other people's boundaries and rights, though.

He can admit when he's wrong. Even if he got angry and disappointed at katniss after discovering their romance wasn't as real as he thought, he later apologizes to her for "holding her up" for what she did and said in the Games. Many people who dislike Peeta use this as proof of how abusive or toxic he is, but COME ON! He was in love with her. He had an idealized view about her. He thought he was going to die. He's freaking 16! People should be able to be angry about things, specially when this something is tied to traumatic events. We don't condone Katniss for using their star-crossed lovers narrative to survive. We don't condone her for playing Peeta. We know she did it all to survive, because she's the sole provider for her family! Also, she's also 16 and went through severe trauma. We forgive and understand all her reasons, and even love her for doing all it takes to get back to her family, so why this is never applied to Peeta? We never condone Katniss for overlooking how severely traumatized Peeta is! We catch glimpses of it, of course, but we never get full dialogues on how HE had it bad at home with his mother and all. We see very little of Peeta being rightfully pissed. We see very little of Peeta crumbling down over the fact his alone in the world after 12's bombing. The same people thay forgives Katniss for those things never do the same to Peeta, and I never understood that.

Peeta is forgiving. After being brainwashed and going through 2 Games and a War, he decided to take care of himself. After, he went back to Katniss. He could blame it all on her: the death of his family, the torture he went through, all the lying, etc. Peeta only did those things while he was hijacked, but I do think he recovered from that because he gets back to Katniss and learns to love her again, only this time without idealizing her. If Peeta never healed himself of the hijacking, he would never had gone back to her. He would've kept blaming her for everything and hated her still. However, he didn't. I do think he even forgave her for the wrong things she actually did to him, because he's a very understanding man. He's mature, despite Peeta haters thinking otherwise.

Most important, he never forces his beliefs on Katniss. Neither does he forces his will and desires on her. Peeta never takes her choices away from her. Katniss doesn't love him back? He's angry, but he says for her to call him when she figures things out. She doesn't speaks to him for 6 months after their Games? He gives her space. She's screaming during the night? He goes check on her and doesn't expect anything of her. He's even surprised when Katniss asks him to stay with her, and he only does it because she ASKS! They even have that funny moment with the "You'll allow it? Yeah, I'll allow it", so how could Peeta not be a respectful, considerate guy? How?????

Peeta flirts like a pro. Well, to see how freaking PERFECT he is at flirting, one should read the novels but since your friend will not read before they are convinced, here's a few good moments of Peeta flirting: he calls Katniss 'sweetheart' when she finds him bleeding to death; he wants to know all her secrets after Finnick offers Katniss a sugar cube; he says he always have nightmares about losing her but is fine once he sees she's ok 💙

Peeta is good at self-assessment. He knows when he fucks up and apologizes for it. He knows his weaknesses. He knows a few of his strengths.

Peeta is reasonable. Peeta bakes. Peeta paints. Peeta is sensible. Peeta is not judgemental. Peeta deserves all the love is this world and I hope I could help you❤️

[angel-biter]

I was tagged by @saschagemruler for this little ask thing! Thank u Sascha!! <3 Old post was getting a bit lengthy. Since I’m on my laptop for once doing this, I’ll put a keep reading thing to avoid clogging up anyone’s dash :)

1. why did you choose your url?

It’s a play on the phrase “ankle biter” and I kinda have a fixation thing on the concept of angels (not necessarily in the biblical sense)

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

God, yes, quite a few. There’s only 3 that are really relevant at all. @the-blackwell-pages-fans which is a blog for a dead fandom for an obscure book series I hyperfixated on as a kid (and still do, tbh). @incorrect-tbp is the same concept, but specifically incorrect quotes of the characters. then there’s @galaxy-aesthetics which is old and I now no longer update, from when I joined tumblr. 

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Since I was 11. Which would be.....since 2014?

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

My original one, I was homeschooled online and sad and lonely and liked the sound of tumblr instead of other social medias. Plus there was a small fandom for that book series I mentioned earlier, so I wanted to be friends with those ppl. As for this one, I was pissed off about the restricted thing that was put in place a few years ago. Since my old blog was age restricted, I decided to abandon it and start a new one (this one). 

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I drew it and thought it was neat. I easily get tired of pfps so I like to change them a lot.

7. why did you choose your header?

little man :)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

I’m pretty sure its that one pic of rise Leo posing all gay and dramatic as hell

9. how many mutuals do you have?

No idea! Prob around 10. 

10. how many followers do you have?

112

11. how many people do you follow?

473, sadly enough I just cleaned it out lol

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

man of course what the fuck

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

girl idk, an hour or two? I’m bored now that I’ve graduated and not doing well mentally. It’s a good distraction.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Of course! I’ve been on here for long enough. I was a lot more confrontational when I was younger, so I vaguely remember fighting back then, but I don’t remember who with or what about. Dumb shit, most likely. 

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

stupid. manipulative. annoying. I try not to reblog them simply out of spite. If it’s actually important, I’ll just go find a post that doesn’t try to guilt trip ppl. 

16. do you like tag games?

yes!!

17. do you like ask games?

yes!!!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

no idea lmao. I just think of them all as some people that have my mellow respect. 

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

No, haven’t had an online crush in years. Plus, I would not make a good partner in my current state.

20. tags?

hmmmm.. lets see. @b1uejey if you haven’t already been tagged, @pink-aquaqualle @seaweed-smoker @littleleafdragon

that’s all I can think of rn. no pressure, I won’t be offended if u don’t feel like it. 

[starshine-selfships]

1, 10, 11, and 12 for the ask game ? 😺🙏💟

Hi hi hi!! You're getting long answers to these bc any excuse to talk about this man makes me go crazy stupid 🙌🙌🙌💕

1) What's a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

HE👏IS👏NEURODIVERGENT!! I'm specifically talking adhd, but he checks a lot of boxes for something more ambiguous too. I'm actually rewriting my adhd sh.aiapouf post and I'm gonna put it here too, but the cut time version IS: noticeable hyperfixations/special interests in music and the monarchy, practically no empathy + has difficulty understanding the emotions of others, fast thinking + thinks a LOT, almost weirdly analytical + book smart with little to no interpersonal skills, extreme emotions all over the board, like there's a LOT here and it explains like 80% of why he's Like That 😤

10) How did you feel when you realized "oh of course I had to like That Character"?

Okay I have a lot to say on this one djnfkffk please bear with me as I write a whole novel

✌U_U ✌

Honestly,, , I wasn't happy LMAOOO, around the time I watched the anime for the first time i was actually still pretty into j.jba and unfortunately was really into dio U_U

I was fascinated by pouf as soon as I saw him in the opening, lots of neat ant designs and then this butterfly man?? I need to know everything about him 👀 His intro with the rainbows in the wings, the fairy chimes, the solo violin, all had me like 👁👁 Sir I Am Going To Study You Like The Insect You Are, and then I saw him actually play the violin and was sold lmao. He was funny as far as comic relief went and then? The giant improv ballet breakdown and antagonistic turn drew me in further and then I was invested in a no going back sorta way as soon as he went chibi for the first time, just watching the chaos of the entire scene with this ridiculous huge grin dhjdkxkf every single thing he did was in the extremes and it was like watching a train de-rail in real time, I saw him face down in the dirt at the end of the arc and didn't even feel anything, he was just so WILD

So I finish h.xh not too long after that and texted a friend and was like hmmm. I need to watch j.jba to return to my roots and also to forget that I think I might've accidentally given myself a lil crush on the butterfly man 😳 idk if that return ever happened but I DO remember being frustrated with how pretty he is,, I didn't really wanna shift hyperfixations at the time and also didn't know if it was attraction or gender envy bc. what I would give to simultaneously look so fem and so masc 👁 either way it was a 3 month struggle of "oh no oh my god I wanna kiss a bug so bad?? 😞" and then I caved at midnight in a denny's and was like okay. fine. I'm gay for a bug, I really really like him but *i* don't have to like that 😤

I did, in fact, proceed to like it, enough to make an entire separate blog for him. It was a slow progression of "I mean, I'd share a ballroom dance with him, like a waltz maybe", "hmm okay he's funny but whatever", "oh uh. he uh. I mean he's neat, a lot of people didn't like him but I just think he's an interesting character 😳" and. and then I finally caved and I never stopped talking sjdkfkf though to be fair, I was already talking about him a LOT on my main, I just decided that maybe it would be nice to have a space to just. contain 90% of my poufposting LMAOOO

Final note on this, but I think what really got me is how many characters are in this series and yet I gravitated towards the one no one could stand 😞✌ though to be fair the hatred for him has definitely gone down compared to what I can remember from a few years ago; absolutely does not change the fact that He Is The Way He Is, but I saw the war crimes, malice, potentially treason, and I won't name it but it's by far the most uncomfortable thing to sit through in the arc, I saw ALL of that and still went hmmmm yes I want that one U_U true love huh

11) Do you think it's better to have copious amounts of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?

The art situation with him is strange bc there's a decent enough to be notable amount of art of him captioned with some variation of "I hated him but he had a really cool character design", but it's still content. Surprisingly, I actually don't track the tag for him but take a look at it anyways almost every day and there's maybe one new thing there like once a week, minimal content bc so many people just didn't like him, which is fair!! But also, he was definitely there as a prominent character, I'd just like to see more of him U_U I would put more art here but I'm too conscious of the art ops seeing my bs over here jdkdkfkk

There actually are a handful of ship art drawings of him, which astounds me bc this man wasn't there to make friends, not even with his own siblings :/, but the errant art of him with morel or kite is honestly pretty cute, please just let this man be happy, I love to see him smile 🥺

12) Aren't you tired of being nice? This is an excuse to rant.

He wasn't the worst guard!! All three had reasons for doing what they did and arguably, pouf's motives were the most complex. Yes he did some pretty awful things, but he considered them to be the right thing to do without a doubt in his mind, all his actions were selfish in that they were based off his own feelings, but he did things ultimately for the king, so his actions also had an edge of selflessness to them as well. He was just. so much more than annoying and while his character development wasn't positive, it was still some pretty astounding growth; as an antagonist, he's also fairly plausible 👀 sometimes people just are manipulative, sometimes feelings do get the better of you, pouf just has all those factors amped up to 11 at all times so they're magnified. I have. a lot of thoughts on him, he interests me very much 😞👀🤔👀

[kimmysfandomblog]

Ohh, 6, 9, 11, 19 and 25. For all the games, but if it's too hard to pick, you can have one by game :p

Thank you, Serahne!!! ^ v ^

From here: https://kimmysfandomblog.tumblr.com/post/170470327942/lafumiko-hi-people-i-was-searching-for-a-good

Spoilers for V3, so these are under the cut!

6. Favorite plot twist?

DR1: Gosh, it’s a tie between Sayaka being the one killed and even planning to kill to escape the game and Naegi escaping execution!!! Bot of them realy threw me for a loop! I will say that discovering Sayaka was murdered left the greater impact, though, and was the reason I stuck to Danganronpa early on. It blew my mind at the time!

DR2: Hajime being Izuru/the “mastermind” was the most shocking thing to me! I really wasn’t expecting that??? I really came to love Hajime a lot by this point, and was feeling incredibly sorry for him already. When we were exploring the school for the last trial’s investigation and the Hope Cultivation Plan came up, I kinda figured it out. I don’t think I connected the dots completely though, ahaha. Also, just the fact that all of them were evil and responsible for spreading Despair worldwide was such a great plot twist, in my opinion!

DRAE: There weren’t many plot twists in this game, but I guess the most shocking was that Monaca was not an invalid. Like, she was pretty obviously the one running the show, and she was obsessed with Junko, but her faking being handicapped to control both her family and friends for sympathy and to get what she wanted was a genius plan on her part!

V3: I honestly didn’t like them all that much, especially Kaede not being the protag. The ending one where Tsumugi reveals everything is a lie (literally) wasn’t bad or good in my opinion. Like, I wasn’t necessarily disappointed by the ending like I thought I would be (that one was spoiled even before the game released in Japan because I couldn’t blacklist on PC and thought going through Hajime’s tag would be okay :( Damn you, dataminers!!!), I kinda just accepted that this was it. Also the trio being alive was not an exciting plot twist in the least (I love you Himiko and Maki, but your survival kinda makes me go ehhh with how the game ended). I guess that only leaves Kaito being ill and dying before his execution killed him as my favorite! I really liked how that last execution (not counting Danganronpa’s execution) was the reverse of the very first execution we see (Jin Kirigiri’s), and I already loved Kaito. It was nice that Kaito’s final goodbye was a middle finger to Danganronpa’s theme of killing the blackened with an over-the-top execution!

9. Favorite Ultimate Talent?

These are all very tough decisions…

DR1: Ultimate Biker Gang Leader! I honestly would never expect such a talent to exist, and I gotta wonder how HPA was able to gather data for that talent, hahaha. It helps that I found Mondo endearing even if he swears a bit and reacts with violence. He hast a golden heart full of regrets, and I liked his backstory! Also the talent itself is just… really cool.

DR2: Ok, so this is kinda weird, but Ultimate Lucky Student. Makoto was a totally different kind of Ultimate Lucky Student than Komaeda’s, where all-in-all he is an average guy and his luck only affects him sometimes. While that is an interesting talent, it’s not as interesting as Komaeda’s. Komaeda is probably the truest definition of Ultimate Luckster! His luck is tragic. It takes away any personal relationships and turns it into materialistic fortune. It is so powerful it warped Komaeda and his view of the world drastically. Gosh, it is very interesting and gets me wondering what could possibly happen around Komaeda because of his luck in different situations and with different people. Truly, a fascinating talent that I wouldn’t bestow on anyone!

DRAE: There were only a few people with an Ultimate Talent here, haha. I liked that Kotoko was the Ultimate Li’l Drama who actually will not perform for anyone (understandably) and the Fighter of the Group! If that counts, haha. Otherwise we only have Byakuya, Fukawa/Syo, Makoto, and Komaeda (and technically Izuru but he is on the screen for, like, 5 seconds and has every talent, so that would be boring anyways). If I had to choose between the four talents without Komaeda repeated, I think the most interesting would be Syo’s Ultimate Murderous Fiend! It’s really interesting to me that she’s a split personality of Toko. I kinda have to wonder how Toko can get exhausted easily, but Syo can slash and dash, even hurling herself several feet in the air, without breaking a sweat!

V3: It is a tie between Ultimate Anthropolgist and Ultimate Mage Magician! Unlike with the previous installments of the series, I was able to just see the talents before knowing the characters, though, so Ultimate Magician was the one that really caught my eye since I’m obsessed with Fantasy AUs, especially of the RPG kind with that class system! I’ve also always been really fasinated by Magic and magicians in general, haha. After playing the game, though, Kiyo really sold me on the Ultimate Anthropologist talent! I was a Cognitive Science major in the school within the university that focuses on the humanities, so not only am I very interested in human cognitive thinking as individuals and as a group, but I took a lot of history and some anthropology courses. I really nerded out with Kiyo and Shuichi during those FTEs! History/Folklore is truly fascinating! 

11. A character you’d revive?

Alright, this is a tough one for some of these because most of the ones I liked who died died “well,” as in their story was finished and satisfying. I’d surely love to see them alive again, true, but if we are going by canon and I could only bring back one, then it almost feels cheap. Kinda like “DR3 cheap.” That makes most of these characters not my favorites, but ones i felt deserve a second chance/should have survived.

DR1: Ishimaru. He isn’t my favorite character (I’m honestly gonna place him in the “he’s ok!” range), but he clearly didn’t have any satisfying development. You can’t get FTEs from his Kiyondo form, and he dies having done very little as Kiyondo other then some inconvenience regarding Alter Ego! It would probably be super interesting to see what he would do in later chapters, and if he ever snaps out of it in the chapters after.

DR2 (assuming the DR3 anime never happened): Saionji died for nothing, let’s be real here, lol. She was just barely going to reform herself and become a better person, and then she dies, offscreen, on accident. A friend also helped me realize that we never come across her murder weapon. I think that what would have been the best solution was not having a double murder. Plus, it would make it interesting to see whether she is able to forgive Kuzuryuu at all or not, how that affects the groups trust in each other in later parts of the game (since it is really hard to get close to her since she doesn’t trust people easily), and especially her reaction to being Ultimate Despair, as well as her growth spurt.

DRAE: Chihiro’s dad Taichi. He and Yuta died for shock, but how sad would it be if he was alive and found out his son was killed? And that his son’s legacy, Alter Ego, survived? Man, what a tragedy! It would have been nice to see him tag along with Toko and Komaru to the adult’s base and maybe try to hack into devices, or slowly give upgrades to Komaru making her life a little easier. He could also join Togami and leave Towa City.  He’d be an incredible asset to Future Foundation, but he would either refuse out of grief, or he’d take time to warm up to the idea, before accepting and becoming the head of any project regarding the Neo World Program/Alter Ego Chihiro, working closely with Miaya, and keeping close to those who had been Chihiro’s friends.

V3: hmmmm, this one I don’t know for sure. It’s between Hoshi, Miu, Kiibo, and… this may surprise you, but Angie as well.

*** Angie Negativity, you can skip it ***

I hate Angie, but she honestly needs the story development. She got the most abrupt ending, another offscreen death, and no resolution. Honestly speaking, if she had a better story and some form of redemption/questioning of her actions, I would like her a lot more. She just never learned that what she did was wrong, and unlike in her FTEs, telling her “no” made her stick more to her own opinion. Like, initially I didn’t like Celeste in CH3, but I actually grew to like her because she had that backstory that made her want to be more than she was, and she anyways accepted her death in the end without being spiteful and ruining the secret of Alter Ego, even giving the others a hint of where she kept him. She was leagues a better character than Angie. Angie, I was starting to kinda accept her after finishing her FTEs when I was still in CH2 (even if I hate the racial stereotypes, what with orgies, sacrifices, etc). She really made me mad when she refused to listen to anyone else and manipulated others to agree with her (I have an extremely soft spot for Himiko and Gonta, so my bias didn’t help her at all). I’ll give her that she’s really sly and a lot smarter than she tries to let on, but  her cutesy personality combined with manipulation to convert to a religion, suggested by light brainwashing using her paintings (and the fact the others were converted overnight), all so that she can get whatever she wants, and then not seeing any kind of downfall: no backlash or consequences because of what she did? It makes me mad. I’m sorry. I hate her and yet, she is one of the people I’d revive, hahaha. Geez, I honestly tried to like her despite my initial feelings I would dislike her, lol.

*** End of Angie Negativity ***

Kiibo dying while the other three survived is something that rubs me the wrong way since he almost never got respect until he was destroying the school, even when he was one of the few character that were actually helpful during the trials. Honestly, if the others survived, which, given the ending, was kinda pointless, then him surviving as well wouldn’t detract from the impact. Seriously, if anyone deserved to survive, it would be him or Maki.

As for Miu, her death felt like a cop out, for some reason. I can’t explain it exactly… I know that her being killed was because they needed her to go after Kokichi, so that they could get him to trick Gonta to kill her, but it feels wrong somehow? Like there was unfinished business? She had the electrohammers, electrobombs, a remote control, and a bug catcher, her more amazing inventions, made after her death. All her upgrades to Kiibo were very useful, but not as amazing. A drone and the camera set up are really simple, too. Her working with Kokichi on these amazing inventions feels like a plothole instead of plausible. It would be really nice to see her survive since, despite being vulgar, she’s really entertaining! And I wonder how she’d react to being told she wasn’t real, nor was she actually a genius inventor.

And I can’t forget Hoshi! He died horribly for no reason. Kirumi could have bashed him in the head with a tennis racket, or against the wall or something, after she knocked him out. There was no need to pin the blame on anyone. The second trial p*ssed me off so much because it was unnecessarily convoluted and cruel for no reason and anyways made no sense. My heart truly goes out for Hoshi. He had a horrible life! He was imprisoned for killing the Mafiai, was a true hero, and I wish he could have learned that he could find something to live for.

So yeah, V3 was the hardest for me this question, hahaha. I honestly can’t choose between these four. BIG SIGH

If this was bot the answer you were hoping for and you just wanted to get a list of my faves who dued, it would go like this: Sakura, Komaeda, Taichi, and Kaito! Priority goes to Sakura since Ko lives post-canon, hahaha

19. Favorite Free Time Events

DR1: Alright, honestly I need to actually play this game myself. I’ve only seen LPs of the game, and the anime does not have FTEs. The only FTEs I recall are Sayaka’s, Chihiro’s, Ishimaru’s, Kyoko’s, Sakura’s, and Asahina’s. I don’t think I can really say which is my favorite, but I really like Sakura’s and Kyoko’s. I just… can’t remember most of their backstories ^^

DR2: DR2 had too many good FTEs. Komaeda’s are probably the ones I liked the most, though? I didn’t care much for Komaeda initially. He was an interesting character, and I didn’t hate him (I was very neutral). I felt like there was more to him, so when I played the game myself after abandoning the LP I was watching, I went after him first and it changed my mind completely! I like it when a character’s background is explained and matches consequences and actions the character makes during the main story, and DR2 did this really well for my taste. Komaeda’s helped explain everything and made him a sympathetic character and helped me to understand him. Of course, it also sparked the Koma/Hina shipping, hahaha. If I had to come up with a runner up, it would be Souda’s for a similar reason! His also ties really well to the main story, especially with not being able to finish his FTEs until like after CH4, after he is done doubting Hajime.

V3: I’m stuck between Kiyo and Maki’s. Kiyo’s had more of an impact on me, though, because it flipped my initial suspicion I would hate him. Him being fascinated with anthropology and teaching Shuichi about it made me seriously love him as a character even though I was sure at the time I would hate him since I was spoiled about the incest plot twist. Maki’s was really well explained and tied nicely to the game’s story. She is kinda like Komaeda, in a way, hahaha. She had a tragic backstory because of her talent, been through hell, lost someone very precious to her, and her talent makes her actively try to avoid people and trust them. And, like I said before, I like FTEs that help explain why a character reacts the way they do (although in her case, a small part of her FTEs do land up in the main story, so I say they were slightly less effective, but tied better to the story)

DRAE doesn’t have FTEs, but there are explained backstories of the kids, and I loved Nagisa. His was the most relatable, with all of that pressure to succeed, never feeling good enough.

25. Saddest Death

DR1: 100% Sakura’s!!! She’s a real gem of a character, and I wish Danganronpa had more female characters that were like her! Anyways, she was so interesting, and not just for how she looks or her talent, but that she was the traitor torn by family duty and her loyalty to her friends. She thought that the best way to end this killing game was by sacrificing herself so that the group would not be split. She was so selfless and loved so much, yet she was treated horribly in her last hours because Monokuma made sure to make her as disliked as possible. And then he spits on her death further by stealing her last letter and will so he could use Hina to make the trial more interesting. My heart goes out to her more than anyone in DR1.

DR2: My gut instinct was to say “Komaeda” or “Nanami”, but truth be told, CH2 wrecked me! Peko’s execution really got to me because, firstly, I never suspected her, and secondly, her backstory with Fuyuhiko and the fact she killed and died to save him made the execution 10 times worse to endure! I hadn’t seen her FTE’s all the way through the first time, but I saw most of them and while she hadn’t been a favorite, she had a cute personality! I really did like her!. What made her death worse was Fuyuhiko’s reaction and him trying to intervene. I’m getting shills remembering it ^^;

DRAE: Most probably Taichi! Though it is hard to choose between him and Yuta, Taichi’s was the one that was most tragic, because up to his dying breath he was so excited to be able to have the chance to meet his son again. I mean, even if he did survive, his son would still be dead, but somehow it just felt worse than Yuta’s since we seemed to get to know Taichi better (he worked at Towa for the company, we talked to him more and his love for his son).

V3: Another hard one, and it is between Kaede, Hoshi, and Gonta… I feel like none of these three should have died, or at least for Gonta and Hoshi, not the way that they did. Gonta’s was the one I felt the most emotional over leading up to his death because of the present feeling of how Kokichi betrayed him and the feeling of how it wasn’t even his fault, really. Kaede’s I felt the angriest at because she was 100 times a better protag than Shuichi and I loved her. It doesn’t help that her death was especially tragic and her execution was gruesome (not that Gonta’s wasn’t gruesome, but it was too weird for me to feel much). Hoshi’s I felt the saddest over during the trial because of just how not-fair this was. I don’t even hate Kirumi, I really hate the writers for the trial because of all the pointless and illogical parts of the case and how Hoshi was murdered, but I ranted enough about it.

[an-avid-reader]

Onyx (Lux #2) - Jennifer L. Armentrout

my rating: 4/5 stars

**since this is the second book in a series, the synopsis below is for book 1:

After losing her father, Katy and her mom move across the country to West Virginia. With her luck, Katy's new neighbour is pleasing to the eyes...maybe even abnormally so. But that's not all, this town has it's secrets--maybe that's just how small towns are. Little does Katy know that her new neighbours Daemon and Dee are more than they appear to be. As Katy is swept into Daemon and Dee’s lives, she quickly learns that they are aliens; as she spends more time with them, Katy has an aura which makes her a target to other aliens. Paradoxically, Katy must be protected by the twins while also losing the aura before she gets killed.

Note: this review is written after rereading the book

Link to Goodreads // book 1 // Spoilers in review!

First off, I feel like I need to start off by saying if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands/you want to binge-read a whole (semi-light hearted???) series in one go, this is the one for you. The second book in this series starts off a few months from the first book, so if you have an incredibly bad memory, a book marathon is the way to go y’all.

And, like in book 1, we start off with some heavy romance, which, in retrospect, I’d be shook if ANY human in secondary school was able to have such deep emotions towards another person--being a teenager is just a weird part of life and I honestly have no idea how people can honestly get into relationships. ANYWAYS, the classic love triangle commences is introduced, with good ol’ Blake….ahhh what an idiot this boy is. Since this was a reread for me, I only remembered fragments of the series, but I 100% recalled that Blake was just so NOOOO and a goddamn snake.

I actually want to start off with Blake and how much of a traitor he is--like damn, there are so many layers to the story and the fact that it’s all kind of Blake’s fault….big yikes. But then again, I feel like he never got a proper childhood, if that makes sense?? He did suspect that the accident that led him to be mutated by Chris was probably staged, which sucks, but also does not make up for how much pain he’s caused to Katy and anyone that was in the same situation as her. Listen, the fact that he didn’t realize how he was hurting Katy just goes to show how much of a shitty person he is--it’s almost like he can’t think for himself, which is also just so fusterating. LOOK BLAKE, NOT EVERYONE LOVES THE THRILL OF A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE MULTIPLE TIMES. Alas, he was a necessary evil, I guess.

There were times throughout the book where I couldn’t believe that Katy could continue to fall for Blake’s tricks, but then again she fully trusted him--big yikes. I feel like in this case, it was emotion (or better yet her feels) that got in the way of her judgement. Side note: I don’t think anyone who’s read these books could possibly think that Blake and Katy are a better couple than Daemon and Katy. Daemon can be an ass but at least he isn’t trying to hurt people emotionally and physically (and that’s the tea, folks). But anyways, I will say that Blake is super shady, but honestly, I completely forgot that he’s related to Vaughn….oops?? I’m a little surprised that Katy didn’t look up Blake earlier as she saw him as a “potential future prospect”, but then again, she might not have connected the dots--or at least pull the WHY DOES THAT NAME SOUND FAMILIAR and then before you know it, all hell is breaking loose.

But let’s backup...to Katy’s 18th birthday (again, yiiikes….). I have no idea how Katy’s powers were not spotted by human witnesses--especially Lesa and Carissa. How were they kept in the dark (and technically they still are) when Katy was almost always with them?? We’ll never know….well actually, Katy’s just really good at keeping secrets I guess…It was so frustrating how Daemon and Katy were keeping everything away from Dee, but they had her best interests in mind. But man, that led to Katy being a crappy friend to Dee, Lesa, and Carissa…it’s almost like Blake’s personality grew onto Katy (g r o s s). Not to mention with Dee sharing some tmi stuff with Katy--but to be honest, after reading Shadows I can understand why Dee is so thrilled to talk about that with Katy--she never had those types of girl talks with anyone (and I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk about it with Ash lmao). 

Those little details -- along with Katy’s blog, the fact that Katy just wants to have fries (relatable lol), it just makes the book so much more “believable” (I guess) as it puts in some normal-type things among all the paranormal activity. I really appreciate those details as they also make the story a little more relatable, if that makes sense??? As a bookworm, I can connect with Katy, but I can also connect with her in the sense where she felt useless during the action-packed scenes. You can definitely feel the frustration and anger when Katy is unable to defend herself under Will’s captivity--I feel like that’s where Blake’s betrayal stung a little (besides him killing Adam)--she trained so much with him, and in the end it’s like she didn’t really learn anything.

For the side characters I wanted to mention: Will, Katy’s mom, and Matthew. Okay, so first, Will, I already had a suspicious feeling about him in Shadows but, again, this particular book is a reread for me, so while I didn’t remember the exact details, he was always super fishy. When I was reading Shadows I remember thinking something along the lines of “Bethany’s uncle is super weird and suspicious”, but for some reason “implant” was not what I was thinking...I thought that Katy was going to tell her mom about her “boyfriend”, but I guess that will have to wait until book 3 (or 4?? I don’t remember oops). It’s so disgusting when he was like “yeah being with your mom had some benefits” WILL YOU’RE A FILTHY MAN. Ugh and then when Katy’s gonna tell her mom, her mom is gonna be like listen honey I know you don’t like him/he’s not your dad...but it’s in reality, Kellie, your “boyfriend” is just using you!! Ahh her poor mom :( Speaking of which, I genuinely thought that Katy’s mom was completely oblivious to the fact that there was always some guy at her house/hanging out with Katy. Alas, Kellie noticed, but damn she thinks Katy is a slut or something (I’m not slut-shaming--you do you boo - I just think it’s messed up that her mom would think that of her daughter). Again, the awkward sex-talk with her mom was sort of like a light reminder that while Katy is mutated, she’s still a human at her core. Finally we have Matthew--which I’m going to be honest, he is the MOST UNDERRATED CHARACTER!! I feel like most people are obsessed with Daemon (which is fair enough) but Matthew is honestly the GOAT. While he doesn’t really have a relationship with Katy like he does with the Luxen kids, he still cares about her. He’s like the old wise man but I guess he isn’t that old (he’s not an Elder, but he’s Luxen….hmmmm….). He genuinely gives Katy some solid advice, even though she technically ignores it. But at the end, when they’re cleaning up Adam’s blood….oh man :( Katy definitely needed to hear those words.

I felt like that particular point - the climax, while it was anticipated that Blake was a bad guy, there are soooo many emotions. We first start off by Katy basically telling Dee to get lost (which may I remind you that Katy was being a crappy friend, so this was just so heartbreaking...gosh darn it, Blake, why do you have to be so manipulative!!). Then we get into this sequence of action--and then the moment that Adam took the “bullet” for Katy...well that would definitely be shot in slow motion...yes it’s cheesy, but damn. Adam--aka the quiet boy who finally became Dee’s boyfriend; Dee, who is Katy’s best friend, yes that Adam...he died for his girlfriend’s best friend. It’s such a powerful thing to do on his behalf, even though it’s messed up in so many ways--and then there are all the layers of Blake’s betrayal...I have no idea of Armentrout planned out the novel, but from that part and onwards, I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. 

So for me, the layers, the details, and the last 100 pages or so are the main reasons why I find that the sequel is better than the first novel in this series. I felt like Armentrout’s writing improved: the romance scenes were way less cheesy than in Obsidian and I felt like there was like fluff -- again, this goes back to the layers that basically make Blake’s betrayal even worse than it would’ve been if it were just between Blake and Katy. The pacing of the book seemed to work with the flow of the story; this allowed the plot to be developed and I felt like the events were adding up pretty naturally.

The ending is so bittersweet--we find out that Dawson is alive, but it was to the cost of Adam’s life...all the main characters, but Dee especially, don’t even have time to process one event before the next one occurs. And of course Dawson’s return is where the story ends; the classic cliffhanger (I did mention earlier that this is the type of series to binge read!).

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this book--is there a particular scene that made your blood boil or did you try to understand the characters’ motives? Overall, did you enjoy the book or was it just okay?? I’d love to know! =D

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you have an opulent day, wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

[fey-and-sudden-and-unholy]

Identity ask: 3, 8 & 20

Replies to this thing, for @seams-unusualpdx:

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.Hmm, this will take some thought.  There are a lot of characters I completely love, but not many that I look at and go “Hey, that’s me!”  So, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do one each, for identifying, but I’ll list my favorites otherwise.

a.) Pandora Hearts - It’s the only manga I’ve read from start to finish, and if you’re into Alice in Wonderland, Victoriana, well-thought-out, psychologically complex characters and truly evil plot twists, I highly recommend it.  I have a few favorites, but the one I identify most closely with is Lacie Baskerville.  She’s been through a lot, and while it has hardened her, she still has love in her heart and tries to keep a good perspective, and while she’s damaged she’s kind of remarkably well-adjusted, considering everything.  She’s got a villain’s background but doesn’t act as a villain (mostly… except when those guys hurt her friend, at which point she kills them and dances in their blood, but… I probably would’ve, too, in her place, so there we are still.)  

b.) Labyrinth - One of the major movies of my childhood.  Little-me identified quite a bit with Sarah.  She had a family life she wasn’t happy with and was preoccupied with the fairness of things.  I still get preoccupied with the fairness of things, though I’m better about catching myself at it.  X-D  My favorite character was Jareth, though.

c.) Welcome to Night Vale - Night Vale makes me so happy.  /)_(\  I adore the casual weirdness of it.  There’s really no one I identify with, but I love so many of them!  Cecil and Kevin and Tamika, and STEVE CARLSBERG and The Faceless Old Woman who Secretly Lives Inside your Home.

d.) The Last Unicorn - Another major childhood thing.  I identify a little bit with Molly Grue, in that, again her life’s been harder than she wanted it to be, and she’s still got kindness in her.  I admire her practicality.  I try for that.  Don’t always succeed.

e.) Phantom of the Opera.  Another one I’ve loved since I was a kid and I stumbled across this animated version of it.  The acting was pretty terrible, but the story was actually more faithful to the book than literally anything else that’s ever been on the screen.  I think you can find it somewhere on YouTube, these days.  Little-me, having been picked on a lot at school, identified with Erik pretty hard.  (As a result, yes, I was of the opinion that Christine should’ve chosen him for many many years.  I ship her more with her career, these days. X-D)

f.)The Lecter Series:  the books, the movies, the show, in that order.  (Don’t get me wrong, the show was fantastic. I loved it, but it was an AU, and my heart belongs first and foremost to the original stories.)  I wouldn’t say I identify with anyone, but I’m fascinated by Lecter as a character, in the books/movies, and I was fascinated by Will Graham in the show.  For some reason show!Lecter didn’t compel me the same way the previous versions of him did. 

g.) American Horror Story - My very favorite characters are Myrtle Snow and Liz Taylor.  I aspire to be as unabashedly myself as they are themselves.  Honorable mentions go to James Patick March, Misty Day, Marie Laveau, Edward Mordrake, Nan and Fiona Good.

h.) American Gods.  Laura Moon and Mad Sweeney give me life.  I have no feelings one way or another about them, ship-wise, and I don’t especially identify with them. I just wanna watch them snark at each other forever. :->

i.) Gotham. The Penguin was never my favorite villain, until this show, but I really love him, in this.  

j.) Harry Potter.  I love a lot of these people, but I suppose the one I come closest to identifying with is Luna Lovegood… a bit of Snape ( with the unhappy family life and being picked on in school, though I’m pretty sure I ultimately handled it better), and a bit of Credence Barebone, for similar reasons.  (The grandmother who had the biggest hand in raising me was very fond of trying to use religion as a means of manipulating and frightening me into submission.  If the darkness it put in me were capable of jumping out and killing people, she would’ve been the first to go.)

I think I’d better stop there, otherwise I’ll be nattering all night.

8.what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?Well, the Beatles would have to be the first thing I talk about, here.  For the first 10 years of my life my father and I listened to them on the way to and from school, pretty much every day.    There was some David Bowie, Queen, Jethro Tull, and Led Zeppelin, too, some days (And I feel connected to them too, especially Bowie), but mostly it was the Beatles.  Bowie is also huge, partially because of Labyrinth and partially because, you know, he’s God.  Loreena McKennitt is another one.  I adore her voice; it literally stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard it.  Chopin made me love the piano, even if I never had the patience or talent to learn to play it well.  Maynard James Keenan’s voice gives me chills regularly.  Getting to hear him sing live, on Tool’s Lateralus tour, was a religious experience.  

20. Would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?Hmmmm, probably Hogwarts, with Middle Earth as a runner up.  Narnia’s okay, but I’m not so much into it as the other two.  There are plenty of other fictional worlds I’d rather be in.

[persianflaw]

💖💦👅

(note: i got this, i guess two days ago. i was going to answer it promptly but then i started writing about jack/hannibal and. this happened. i’m not even remotely sorry for stretching dashes, read it all. love it. love them. join my ship.)

💖 (ship that needs more love): JACK/HANNIBALJACK/HANNIBALJACK/HANNIBAL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JACK/HANNIBAL

okay but actually. this ship is CRIMINALLY underappreciated. i’m using gifs for this one cuz it’s so serious.

jack is canonically the character who enjoys and appreciates high culture things like good food + music + clothes the most, next to hannibal. he has fancy man tastes and he and hannibal canonically bond over it. there’s this really fun gifset of lawrence fishburne and mads mikkelsen from some con interview where mads brings up the fact that jack is the only person who is ever super expressive and appreciative of hannibal’s cooking. he really loves it and he says so, and hannibal loves that.

for the first two seasons hannibal says that he does consider jack a very close friend, probably his closest next to alana (will is in a different category entirely lol). he cooks for jack often, they have a lot in common, they’re on the same intellectual level, and they have a lot of respect for each other - hannibal does genuinely like jack a lot, and he does want to maintain their friendship for as long as he can.

in season 2 jack goes to hannibal a lot for help with cases, but maybe more for comfort and reassurance that he didn’t do the wrong thing with will. and hannibal provides it! i don’t think i have gifs for it, but the scene in hassun where jack and hannibal have gone back to hannibal’s office and jack talks about bella is a really vulnerable moment for him. he isn’t necessarily about to cry but his eyes are shiny, and his one line about talking bella back to italy is “we could - she could die there”. it’s not really touched on further than that but it’s implied that at least at this very, very low point, jack is planning to die with bella because he feels he has failed so catastrophically that he won’t have anything else to live for after her. he can at least find redemption in death, or maybe just peace. (which ends up being a nice parallel to bella’s lines in takiawase about death and surrender) and hannibal is there for him in the exact way that he needs.

they’re also increasingly physically close in the first half of s2 (i wish i had more/bigger gifs at hand for the beginning of mukozuke bc that scene is so intimate, with hannibal in abigail’s his red sweater):

(both of these gifs are from this set by sungl0ry) obviously the second one isn’t for the same reason lolol but this scene in mukozuke still gave me a feeling. actually i just made the connection that jack is probably terrified of losing another friend after what happened at the beginning of the episode so he rushes the fuck in even tho brown has a gun (it might be textual, i haven’t watched it in ages). also hannibal incoherently shouting ZHACKHAJDADFNAKGUN is still hilarious.

and oh, mizumono. my favorite episode of the series. the moment when jack comes into the kitchen. ;A;

the whole back half of season 2 he’s working with will, they’re coming up with the plan, but he still  wants to believe that hannibal isn’t the ripper. he doesn’t want to believe that he was blind this whole time, that he got so close to someone who maimed his student and murdered his co-worker and framed his, almost his charge in a way (bc jack does feel responsible for will; even if he does a lot of things that aren’t necessarily in will’s best interests, he does it bc he thinks it will do a lot of good without doing will too much harm, and he promises alana that he’ll keep will safe. but this is another ship for another post lolol) and killed a whole fucking lot of other people. someone who stood by him while his wife got sicker, when she went to the hospital. 

(and hannibal is having his own mirrored emotional journey, probably more muted bc of who he is as a person (and bc will has become so very central in his life), but where he does really like jack a lot and still maintains a hope that there’s a way for him to keep this friendship.)

but jack also doesn’t want to believe that someone he really, really likes and trusts and has strong respect for could have done these things. and imo he’s holding onto some last scrap of blind hope until he steps into the kitchen and sees hannibal, and sees him clearly for the first time ever.

(gifs from here)

and, you know, they have this kickass fight and hannibal almost kills him. salting the wound a little bit. 

i haven’t watched s3 as many times so i can’t really speak to the emotional underpinnings as much, but the fight in the museum in contorno oh my goddddddddd

there’s a really great meta lupushominum wrote (here) about hannibal expressing pain, and how he takes it with very little expression in almost every situation except for this fight, where he flinches and grimaces and shows pain:

It could also be that he ALLOWS Jack to see his pain. He grants him that gift while he denies it Mason and Cordell. 

imo this is the best interpretation of the scene and it falls in line with how hannibal is characterized as a whole and wrt his relationship with/feelings about jack. i might take it a little further, even- he knows bella died, he knows obviously that jack is feeling hugely betrayed and really alone. he definitely doesn’t lose the fight deliberately but he does show his pain, something he doesn’t do in the fight they had in mizumono, bc he respects jack that much and bc he knows jack needs this

and this moment. this moment right here.

(gifs)

and then he kicks hannibal out the window and it’s beautiful and cathartic and i love jack and i love this ship and i’m probably going to rewatch the show now ok bye

💦 (ship that is taboo): WELL. after that everything else is going to seem short lmao. i’ll stick with the hannibal theme and go with abigail/alana. 

(basically i ship abigail with every woman on the show) we don’t get that much of them, but i like the mildly combative dynamic they have, at least on abigail’s part. for all she talks to hannibal and will about not trying to be abigail’s everything, alana is one more in a string of people trying to impress her own ideas onto abigail and care for her in the way alana thinks is best- she buys abigail clothes she might wear, she brings her music that she likes, she reads one of her favorite books to her while she’s in the hospital in amuse-bouche. it’s done on pure instinct, but abigail sees it and she hates it because she’s tired of people trying to mold her. 

i like a few variants on this as far as potential dynamics. i really like the idea of a slight twist where abigail latches onto alana as a replacement almost-mother figure counterpart to hannibal, as an extension of the “what do you see?” “family” drug scene in oeuf, but not quite. she sees alana as this combination of utterly non-threatening adult, kind-of-mom-replacement, stable figure, and oh hey she’s also really pretty. so she ends up with these weird conflicted feelings, and she really wants to be with alana in a way that is definitely not healthy and probably a little oedipal in a lesbian way, but she’s also terrified at the idea of losing her newfound stable footing, so she goes into survival manipulation mode and comes on to alana. and alana has this huge fucking internal crisis because she can’t reconcile her semi-maternal feelings and her very non-maternal feelings, and this is so unethical oh god D: but she starts rationalizing it like “i can’t turn her down, this could hurt her recovery, she’s in a delicate emotional place, this is probably her first relationship, i can give her a positive experience” 

i can’t decide if i like alana going immediately and then having her crisis or rejecting her gently at first and then backsliding, which is almost worse. actually, jk it’s definitely the second one. rejection -> crisis -> rationalizing -> gives in

oh shiiit wait, alana gently rejects her, leaves the situation -> abigail reads her internal conflict and is like hmmmm -> alana freaks out and has her ethical crisis -> alana starts rationalizing -> abigail shows up again and gives a revised, super manipulative pitch -> alana gives in -> everything is a Huge Mess

literally as i write this, i’m imagining this scenario where alana has abigail visit her house semi-reguarly to give her a break from the hospital, one night she gets permission to have abigail sleep over, she gets abigail set up in her guest room (which alana has definitely set up with stuff from her own teenage years bc #projection), abigail goes in for a kiss, alana is like WOAH GIRL and lets her down gently but it takes her a second and abigail sees the crack. alana goes back to her room, gets in bed and turns off the light so she can freak out + begin to rationalize, and abigail sneaks into her room and crawls into bed like “but alana :’(” and Then

i’m. really amused that i thought this was going to be shorter. well it still is, but it’s still way the fuck too long for an ask meme. this next one is going to be reasonable i swear

👅 (ship that you find most sexy): me/bedelia rawing me in a manipulative and ethically questionable way and possibly killing me is the ultimate otp

[rawinternets]

Star Wars Episode 6: A rediscovery.

I’ve now reviewed Rogue One, Ep4, Ep5, all three prequels. It’s finally time to get back to the good stuff - Return of the Jedi. ROTJ is often cited as most people’s favorite from their childhood, but not necessarily on re-watch. Why? I was pretty sure I knew: it’s the shameless commercialism of the Ewoks, the derivative plotlines (another Death Star! More sneaking around Empire bases!) and so on. But truly, this movie is also very enjoyable. 

Upon re-reading my notes - there are far less of them, I think because I was actually into the movie again instead of analyzing everything. With Episode 1 and 2′s terrible dialogue and wooden acting and annoying plotlines, my brain was whizzing about, trying to understand just how these movies could be so bad. With Ep3, I felt myself analyzing how this film somehow *was* landing, and why it was different than the first two. With ROTJ, I got back to losing myself in the story, even though I was trying to remain conscious of the task at hand. 

While there are a couple lows (the Ewoks are mediocre at best as an adult-viewer, and George Lucas makes an inexcusable CGI addition to Jabba’s palace...), all in all this movie really fires. And what’s more - some of the most enthralling scenes in the entirety of the series occur here, and they don’t all include fighting and violence. I’m talking about the Emperor turning Luke. This is where the R1-4-5-1-2-3-6 order really works... we go from watching the Emperor turn Anakin in Ep3 right into the Emperor back at his old tricks with Luke. In both movies, the mind games and manipulation are really well done. I had many “Holy Shit!” 10-scene moments throughout ROTJ, mostly around the throne room, but prior to the climactic Vader redemption scene (which, surprisingly, was just OK). 

In fact, although this movie didn’t grade quite as high as Ep4 and Ep5, it has by far the most “10″ scenes, all of them (except “It’s a Trap!”) involving Luke and the Emperor in the build-up to the climax, when things are looking so grim for the rebellion and for Luke. Sure, I suppose I could have lumped more of these together, but each is so powerful on its own that I felt in the moment they deserved their own line items. 

Onto the scores. 

Average Score: 7.90 Standard deviation: 1.91

Scroll. 8. To the point and does the trick. 

Death Star and Vader. 9.  Beautiful new shot, with Death Star and Star Destroyer. The empire space visuals are so consistently amazing in this series. Great angry vader: “The Emperor does not share your optimism.” Great music. Great punchy scene.

Jabba’s Castle. 7. The big door is cool - C3PO sucks as always. Cool little eye in the peephole, and the big door opens. Pig guards are George Lucas trying too hard. Jabba is a pretty cool character. Luke wants to barter with him, there’s a little rat character that is fine, Solo is a wall decoration, and C3PO sucks again. Fine set of scenes. 

Jabba’s band. 1. George Lucas strikes again. He inserts a fully-CGI alien band, looking like a drunk person’s recollection of alien muppets, singing in a language that sounds like scat-man as a toddler. So unnecessary. Also, Jabba is rapey. 

Rancor eats a chick, Chewbacca, Lando in disguise. 6. I remember loving this whole Jabba sequence as a kid but it’s not really landing right now. The bounty hunter is Leia? Couldn’t they have sent someone less important? Han getting re-warmed is a cool visual. 

Han woken up. 6. Still can’t buy that they’d send Leia to rescue Han. Han’s blindness is kinda lame and the jokes are too. The Jabba sidekicks are also lame. Not loving this. 

Luke and the Rancor. 8. Luke falls into the Rancor pit and tries Jedi shit and it doesn’t work. But he’s clever and kills the Rancor. Pretty good job, pretty good scene. My roommate likes the crying monster. 

Sarlacc pit & Jabba’s ship. 6-8. Cool desert beasts, really cool desert ship. R2 as a cocktail waiter is funny. Luke: “Free us, or die.” And R2 shoots the lightsaber to Luke and the fighting begins. Lando cliffhangs, Boba Fett vs. Luke is cool, and Boba Fett dies an ignominious death (apparently in canon he actually survives). All in all, it’s a bit hokey and prequel-like, so I assume George had his grubby hands in here. Leia strangles Jabba, Luke flails away with the lightsaber looking really badly trained (in great contrast to the expertise of Ep3), and Lando kind of gets saved from the Sarlacc pit with a rifle. Some 6, some 8, hard to disentangle from my memories of the scene.

Emperor arrives at the Death Star. 9. Incredibly beautiful shots, great heft and foreshadowing. 

Yoda dies. 9.  “When 900 years old you reach, look as good, you will not.” Great line. Love Yoda - this version, not the Shaun-White-Parkour-Tasmanian-Devil lightsaber version. He tells Luke he’s not a Jedi yet, that he must face Vader. Not ready for the burden! Rushed to face him! Luke made a mistake! “Jedi strength flows from the force. Beware anger, fear, aggression. Dark side. Once you start down that path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Luke. Don't underestimate the Emperor.” Very good stuff from Yoda all around. And this part: there is another Skywalker!!! (but it never matters?) 

Obi-wan force ghost. 9. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Vader did kill your father... from a certain point of view.” Luke must face Vader again, but Luke won’t... “Then the Emperor has already won.” And then of course... It’s Leia. 

Attack Prep. 7. “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.” I thought that line inspired Rogue One, but apparently not. Here we are again... a Death Star and a small crack team preparing to take it down. 

Emperor Confident. 8. Just another great punchy scene. 

Shuttle Tiberium. 9. Sneaking onto Endor to disable the DS’s shield... and we’re just like Rogue One again with the access codes. Vader on his Super Star Destroyer senses something... Good Chewy and Han tension. But Luke knows he’s endangering the mission. Vader is such a badass. 

Endor/Speeders. 9. The first thing I wrote for this scene was “C3PO SHUT THE F*** UP” but notwithstanding that outburst, this unique, gripping, and beautiful scene gets a great score. The Redwoods are recognizable to Northern Californians but few others, and as in real life, they are majestic and mysterious on film here. Amazing sound effects. The tension of possibly being outed by a patrolman is very high. Luke cuts off the front of a speeder with the lightsaber... so sweet. 

First Ewok. 8. Contrary to what you might remember, the Ewoks do not always suck. The first teddybear that finds Leia is kind of menacing. They avoid capture and make friends but it’s a pretty good scene. 

Vader and Emperor. 9. The Emperor is so damn badass.

Caught in Ewok trap. 5. More George Lucas Hijinx! Hokey. OK with Ewoks, not OK with C3PO becoming their God. 

In the Ewok village. 4. C3PO on the throne. Luke does force stuff. R2 shocks an Ewok and he does a stupid jump. Meh. 

C3PO telling Ewoks a story. 4. I guess the power of a story? They get help from the Ewoks. meh. 

Luke and Leia. 7. Luke has to face him. Decent scene between the two. 

Vader lands on Endor. 9. Beautiful shots here. Vader and Luke interaction. Search your feelings (again). "It is too late for me, son." Vulnerability there. A bit of foreshadowing. I like!

Shield generator attack begins. 7.  A little cheesy that the Ewok grabs the speeder and we do the chasing again, but I guess it serves the plot.

The rebel forces amass. 9. The rebel fleet is amazing. Very pretty. In retrospect (fore-spect?) the heterogeneous fleet reminds of Battlestar Galactica. 

Luke meets the Emperor. 10. Shit! Things sound very bad! 

Shield Generator Fail. 8. Uh oh! 

It’s a Trap! 10.  This all happens so fast, last two scenes and then this. Great music, great twist moment. Totally unforeseen. Admiral Ackbar gets his moment and forever becomes an internet meme and a real world reference. This space battle is intense.

Emperor turning Luke. 10.  Emperor seems to have all the cards. "it is your destiny."

Ewok's revenge. 7.  Mmmmmm. Actually not as bad as I remember because the Ewoks are a bit dangerous, even if primitive. OK, some dumb shit. Swinging ropes like tarzan, flying around with wings and dropping rocks. Self-hitting. Decent physical humor but also meh. Decent job with the emotional Ewok friends death.

Fully operational! 10.  Fuuuuuck! The Emperor is smart! Shit! Scene is a 9, but gets a 10 because of importance.

Luke tries to kill emperor. 10. Such a mindfuck. Pretty amazing.

End of the endor battle. 7. Meh. It’s fine. 

Luke and Darth fight. 10.  Let the hate flow through you.

Luke and Darth fight 2. 10.  Luke tries to hide and not fight.  "Your thoughts betray you. Sister! Twin sister. You have betrayed her too.” Stilted dialogue. Luke's love for Leia gives him power. Very much like Darth in the prequels. Darth’s hand cutoff. Fantastic music. Emperor: “Your hate has made you powerful. Fulfill your destiny.” He thinks back to his own hand destroyed and how he is like his father. Really great storytelling.

Attack on the death star. 8.  These visuals are really cool. But it’s a bit ridiculous to fly through the Death Star with a ship as big as the Millennium Falcon. I mean, the first DS was destroyed by a torpedo going down a tube not more than a meter wide... why would they engineer this thing to have a corridor wide enough for fighters to fly through, and right to the core reactor which will blow the entire thing up? 

Darth turns back. 9. It’s such a big moment, but is it actually well done? Emperor: "you will pay the price for your lack of vision." "Noooooo!" Hmmmm. it was great but it wasn't a 10. A bit hokey on the script. Why not cut the Emperor in half with a lightsaber? We’ve seen Jedi defy gravity before, why not assume he will survive? 

Anakin dies. Luke escapes. 8. “Take off the mask. you already saved me. Tell your sister you were right.” Great musical choices.

Han and Leia kiss. 7. Meh, it’s fine. 

Celebrations. 9. Good reunions and happy stuff. A bit cheesy but pretty good. 

Anakin/Darth funeral. 9. Pretty emotional. Pretty good. 

Credits. 7. WTF with this music choice. 

VERDICT: Things that will stick with me include: speeders, Emperor, and the Sarlacc pit. Speeders and Emperor are just awesome. Sarlacc pit was fine but memorable. This movie is entertaining, and yet, the most blockbuster-y of the original three, and that doesn’t sit as well with me at the end. But did I enjoy it? Surely and absolutely, yes, I did. ROTJ has far and away the most amounts of 9′s and 10′s of any of the films... only a few missteps keep it from being crowned as the best film in the franchise. 

REVIEW LINKS:

Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.

Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).

Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).

Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).

Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).

Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.