#many actors from hollywood expressed their support it was so sweet of them

[septembersghost]

I think people's reaction to beyonce not winning Grammys vs Austin not winning Oscar's is so interesting. Like they were both expected to win in that respective category. But when beyonce lost people were acting like someone killed her yet when aus lost they turned him into a meme and made fun of him. It proves that stan twitter needs someone to either hate or worship.

Also the reactions to Brendan winning vs harry winning also interesting. Harry had the most popular album and single yet was uNdEsErViNg. Meanwhile while everyone agrees it wasn't BF's best performance or best performance from last year they are glad he won because 'they like him'.

(I don't hate either B's. Just pointing out hypocrisy)

i have so many thoughts on this and i am extremely exhausted/sifting through brain fog, so i probably won't be able to articulate it well, but the core issue here has very little to do with bey or brendan (all due respect to both), and everything to do with the extremely cruel and entirely unfounded, nonsensical hatred directed at harry and austin. which have some very clear, awful parallels that I Do Not Understand.

(side note: there was a lot of, from what i've seen, warranted, criticism and discomfort with that movie, but the support there was just because...brendan's (deservedly) well-liked? he's a lovely man and should've been treated better before?! and it bothers me because that's then not about the quality of the performance, it's about completely outside metrics. this issue could similarly be applied to jamie lee's win. they are both fantastic, they both certainly are worth recognition, but they were in some respects given de facto lifetime achievement awards rather than the merit of each performance being assessed and awarded accordingly. a lot of the oscars are political and personal where they should not be, but i digress.

also curious and sad how we only seem to learn we should've treated someone better AFTER they've been put through hell, and yet we continue to put people through hell for no reason... :| )

harry and austin are both very open-hearted, earnest, kind human beings with palpable enthusiasm for their art. you don't work with/interact with/meet thousands of people at various levels in various places, from industry luminaries to fans to service workers, and have them all come away talking about how generous and sweet you are unless that's simply what you are. for some reason, though, social media hates and resents this. harry being unapologetically warm and effusively authentic. austin being noted for his humility and graciousness. both being introspective about what they do. if aus had won, those same people would've been eviscerating him for winning as they laughed that he lost (which, btw, is so stupid - they are miserable nobodies behind a screen and he is an oscar nominee forever, so what are they proving? countless incredible actors have lost, or never even been nominated!, and it says nothing about their talent and careers). something about austin's sincerity and unguarded dedication for three+ years of his life was mockable to these people because they can't fathom having that feeling of empathy or closeness to anything, so all they can do is tear him down. people saying he seems "nasty" (LMAO??? WHERE? v's stans being legitimately ~nasty~ have fueled WAY too much of this and i hate that the actual press followed their lead in regards to commenting on his voice and his commitment to e's humanity), when the entire awards season he was being embraced and celebrated by everyone around him, by the current greats and his fellow nominees and peers in hollywood, for both his tremendous performance and for his genuine kindness, is like...idk it's honestly sick in some way. people cannot stand seeing it and i don't understand WHY. i love nothing more than compassion, thoughtfulness, and people expressing passion for their craft, i cannot comprehend the way that's rejected by the internet.

additionally, with both of them, there's this...shallow dismissal because they're handsome men of a similar age with younger "fangirls." the haters seem to have the idea that this dismisses any gravity or import anything they create or say ever do. it's bizarre. i saw someone say the only people who cared about the film were fifteen year olds, which is laughably wrong, but they'd say that about h's music too. i saw someone say nothing about the film was important, which i could write a whole other dissertation disagreeing with (and what austin said - if it touches ONE PERSON, it's important! i've written before about why it was resonant and beautiful to me, and i am FAR from the only person it touched, and it has crossed so many boundaries! as, again, has h's music! so...). there's also that pretentious concept that something being popular means it's worthless, which is silly. eeaao has gotten some of this too. how dare people embrace and love something?

stan twitter needs someone to either hate or worship. exactly, there is no in-between, they decide to do this based on pointless whims and meanspiritedness that is ultimately meaningless and says nothing about their targets or their idols. it IS hypocritical and it's wildly unfair. social media will say the most abhorrent things about people who have done NOTHING to deserve it, that i wouldn't even think about people i have concrete reason to dislike, much less would EVER type aloud for all to see. it's about rage clicks and living in that negativity spiral giving them a false sense of superiority. imagine if they directed some of that energy towards some purpose instead of just living to be trolls online. instead they stew in their own misery thinking it makes them powerful. ugh. 😕

my answer to this continues to be giving them no time of day and pretending they evaporate when i hit the block button, and just loving things ten times harder. <3

[szivtalan]

4, 13, 14, 15, 18

Thank u Rachel this is very cool!!!

4) favourite dish specific for your country?

HARCSAPAPRIKÁS it's basically fish stew that’s seasoned kind of like goulash, it tasty! And, just plain fried fish that's sold all around Lake Balaton, it's good as shit. I also like lángos, which is actually just deep-fried dough with sour cream, cheese and/or garlic topping

13) does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

It was frowned upon to toast/clink glasses with beer ever since the pact of Trianon (many parts of Hungary have been given to neighboring countries and it was considered one of the saddest events in Hungarian history) bc the people who wrote the terms of the treaty celebrated with beer that way. I guess that's the strangest I can think of?

14) do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

I mean, there's some good ass Hungarian movies and shows? (Watch Liza the Fox Fairy, A Kind Of America, Aranyélet, Üvegtigris, or Son of Saul) There's some real bad soap operas too of course, but generally I think our movie industry is growing more potent by each new artist. That being said, free SzFE

15) a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

O1G (Orbán Egy Geci - Orban’s A Spunk(?). Viktor Orbán is our long-time prime minister and he, together with his political party, are indeed “spunks”)

18) do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

I don’t think so ahfdh ever since urbanization became a thing here, Hungarian dialects have started to fade and now there’s only a very little part of society still speaking it. I’ve had friends from the other part of the country who had a faint accent and used somewhat different words but even they have started to speak in standard hungarian more and more I think. Young folks don’t really work to preserve dialects, so if you want authentic hungarian dialects u need to hit up the rural old communities

[marvellovegalore]

Loving You

Chris Evans

Synopsis: Chris is over the moon, he's met you and life couldn't be better - you're all he's ever dreamed of and there's nothing you could do to ruin that.

Warning: explicit language, sexual content

No one in your industry would ever consider you difficult to work with, neither mean, arrogant, conniving or calculating. Most would go out of their way to praise you, proclaim their adoration for the movie star of dreams. On the other hand, your previous partners would. Ex-boyfriends that would bravely volunteer to be interviewed about your past relationship would recount their experiences with the same look as a shell-shocked soldier. If they could, they would gather in a support group for those left with deeply affecting, unresolved trauma - left by you.

You would deny it, if you could be bothered; or if the media had declared your heartbreaker ways to be of public interest. Which they are, but you’re largely untouchable therefore they're unreported. A Hollywood starlet, philanthropist, trend setter and tastemaker - alongside with being viewed largely as a sweetheart. Your childhood nannies coming in storming with adulations and saccharine recollections of a sweet and shy child. Friends that are more than happy to celebrate you on social media and fans who fill the internet with high production videos of you strutting on the streets and red carpets cement the idea that you are the moment, and you are loved.

To the world outside of the sphere of your ex-boyfriends, you were the most eligible bachelorette. There was no flaw in sight, no illusion to dispel or enchantment to break; you’re the real deal. Until you get bored, and you need to hurt someone. Because hurt people, hurt people. As the saying goes. There’s no need to go into that - just yet.

So, when Christopher saw you at the 2019 Vanity Fair Oscars after party, he fell head over heels. Your eyes cast a spell on him, and the enchantment was cast by the world’s master mage, you. You barely realised what you did, you were in no mood to flirt or truly fraternise. You were attempting to drown your sorrows of missing out on another Oscar win for the second time - in a mojito glass. You looked spectacular, possibly more than how you looked during the ceremony. But to Chris, your face of indignation looked like the angelic expression of a good second place loser with no hard feelings. He attempted to approach you, but too many people go into his way, they came with unprovoked film criticisms and pseudo interview responses that would get them into the academy board. All he wanted was to see your face up close and know how you spoke when you weren’t being regarded by a crowd of enraptured spectators.

He could see that you weren’t being left alone either, you hadn’t won the Oscar, but you are being treated as if you did. Your eyes bounce off of him every once in a while, but he couldn’t capture your attention - and then you left the party. You hardly made the French exit you were seeking. Stars old and young clamoured to say their goodbyes and kisses on your cheeks. You finally managed to escape. If Chris were to attempt to lie and say that he wasn’t disappointed, a blind woman could have seen right through him. His heart dropped, and he couldn’t explain why - he didn’t even know you.

Some other actor friends managed to drag him to a more intimate after party, the setting hardly intimate. A compound nestled in Hidden Hills, twenty-four-hour security circling the property, of one starlet who presented herself at the beginning of the night but chose an early slumber rather than socialising.

You came in half an hour after him, a miniskirt showing off your incredible legs - which were insured for an absurd amount.

His breath caught in his mouth. You were dressed down, but you looked too incredible to even try and claim you didn’t try. Everyone’s head turned and everyone was captured by the beauty at the door, accompanied by a friend. Your demure appearance fooling everyone into thinking that the attention was unwanted. You grabbed yourself a drink and half an hour later you were still enveloped with a group of equally intoxicated friends.

Though, Chris was determined to get your attention. He grabbed a drink off of the barman and slowly and easily made his way to you. The word ‘chill’ being chanted over and over again in his head. He was dead set on not making a fool of himself. Three steps away from you, glass of mojito clutched in his hands, his anxiety being beaten down and desperately suffocated into his stomach and away from his brain. He goes over his words, and before he finishes walking to you, you turn suddenly.

Your eyes pierce into his, a smirk glossing your lips. “Hi.” Your voice is low, characteristically different from your stage voice - your accent just as strong.

“Hey, got this for you.” Chris thrusts the glass into your unexpectant hand, some of the drink splashing out over the frosted rim. “Hope, it’s not too presumptive of me to have gotten it for you?” His eyes have glossed over, he shifts his weight from one foot to another. You shake your head no, a sweet smile playing at your lips. He’s even easier on the eyes much closer up. “Sorry you didn’t win that Oscar, real shame, I was rooting for you!”

You store it in the back of your mind that this man manages to look like a golden retriever even when he’s several drinks down, “It’s nothing, what does it mean anyway, I’ll still get more jobs in the future.” You take a sip of your drink after he takes a sip of his.

He compliments your eyes, your complexion and goes on an eager rant of how much he admires your capacity for acting. You drink in the adoration diluted by alcohol and take his words with a pinch of salt. After twenty minutes of solid, drunken conversation you’ve moved to a nook shadowed by statues. Your legs next to his on the red velvet sofa. You remark on the class of the artistic statues, clearly purchased illegally from a Mediterranean museum. He barely takes in your words, much preferring to intoxicate himself with the sight of you - and his fifth beer.

You’ve decided that you want him. Badly. But you’ve sussed him out. He’s not just going to be a one-night stand - in the animal kingdom he’s a Golden Retriever, and those aren’t dogs to be messed with. Your last fling was essentially a Doberman pinscher - discardable - but this Chris had to reeled in slowly.

You interrupt his musing about the Boston markets with a kiss.

Your lips smoothly capture his, your lipstick smearing over his lips. His hand presses tightly on the small of your back, arm underneath your waist holding you up higher. Stars explode inside your eyelids and his fingers grip tightly onto your shirt as your tongue licks his bottom lip. Your entry is granted, you lips pressing tighter against each other. Your eyelashes dance over his. Your hands rise to his face, your hands imprinting themselves onto his cheekbones. His hand brushes over the bare skin of your leg, his fingertips tracing the insides of your thighs. A small moan rises from the back of his throat.

The hold you have on him is cemented, you part away from him. You untangle yourself from him and stand up from the sofa, your eyes refusing to look at him, you smooth your clothes and slowly strut away from him.

Chris looks at the fire that you’ve set on his limbs in disbelief, he doesn’t grasp what you’ve just done. Did he do something wrong? Does he smell? No. You just didn’t care for the ceremony of the first ‘after-kiss’ moments.

He doesn’t see you for a year.

You truly are elusive - to the media and him.

He couldn’t get you out of his mind, and the fact that you starred in another award-nominated film did little to help him forget you.

You were curious to understand whether you really enticed him or not. You decided to not pursue that line of questioning, and never bothered to reply to his direct messages. It wasn’t done with the intent of hurting him, you just didn’t care. But life has a way of putting things in your way that deep down you didn’t know you wanted.

--

Nevertheless, here you are, with your boyfriend of a year - Christopher, sat across from you telling you story about his nephew. You simper, your eyes flitting between the sight of him and the view of the sea. The coast of Martha’s Vineyard enraptures you, you drink your wine, eyes steadily moving to the coastal view.

You grew up coming here. Your family often choosing the quiet island to rest in during the late spring holidays. You brought Chris back here to stay at your family holiday home as it’s not too far from his own family home, a perfect last stop after spending the week with his family.

He watches you curiously, his blue irises begging you to let him in to your thoughts. You refuse silently and beckon the waiter. You ask for the bill, it’s quickly on the table and you pay - ignoring Chris’ refusals. You smile at him, for the second time during dinner. He responds in kind, remarking on your bad mood and how he’s glad you’ve cheered up after having some food. He muses on the lovely weekend you’ve had together as you leave the restaurant. Candlelight following you as you make your exit with your hands holding each other tightly, his other hand in his preppy shorts.

You walk slowly, watching the sunset. His arm finding its way around your shoulders. His sweet and intimate embrace enveloping you in warmth. Your heart beats quickly against his bicep as you near your home. Your hands tremble for some reason and you practically sprint up the porch steps after you’ve crossed the gate and walkway, leaving Chris five steps behind you.

You open the door and make a quick beeline for the kitchen in the far back of the house. You enter the pantry, ignoring Chris’ questions of what is wrong. You take a bottle of Rosé out of the wine fridge and forgo pouring it into a glass and drink it straight from the bottle. It tastes incredibly sweet, and Chris finds you eventually in the pantry. He looks at you in surprise as you gulp the drink.

“Everything okay, baby?” He walks to you, his hands failing onto your hips, his adoring eyes almost boring into your soul. You refuse him entry into the pits of your emotions. Steeling yourself against the onslaught of therapy-like talk.

You don’t want him to know that hurt people, hurt people. And that you’re one of them.

You kiss him, silencing his calming words.

His fingers tighten on your sundress. The colour melding with the colour of his fingers. Your lips become one.

You go through the steps of getting out of the pantry in a seemingly choreographed dance, your dance ends in the smaller reception room; your bodies tangling themselves on the rug. Neither of you giving a care to fact that you’re undressing in front of the window overlooking the pool and coast.

The flickers of the setting sun’s rays highlight his now bare chest. He returns his lips to yours in a hypnotising kiss. Your hands dance with the muscles of his back as you caress his skin, his torso vibrating in between your legs with the fervour of his movements. Your dress is ripped off your body. He directs his attention to your right breast, his soft lips caressing your skin. His tongue lashes slowly against your nipple, you fight to hold back your moans as his hand lowers to your pussy. His fingers pushing aside your pants, his fingers sink into you like it’s their second nature. Your head rolls back as he makes love to you with his fingers and his lips lower down to where his fingers are. He licks you where you need him most, his love for you being written inside you with his tongue.

You orgasm. Slowly.

And all that runs through your mind is how much you’ll miss him.

You pull him up to you, you turn over and straddle him. Tasting yourself on his lips as the sun sets even lower. The waves crash against the shore violently as the wind picks up. You lower yourself onto him and start riding him, your hips bucking in an impassioned manner against his. He doesn’t hold back his moans as he caresses your breasts and stomach.

You realised you loved him four months ago, but every time you catch sight of his loving eyes when you’re fucking, it makes you fall in love all over again.

Chris switches and puts you on all fours, he grips your hair in his hands, the rising intensity making him grip you harder. His thrusts are merciless, his spare hand spanking you and stroking, you’re on the cusp of a sensory overload when he turns you over. On your back you have the most beautiful view. A strong ray of sunlight brightening his eyes as he makes love to you. His kisses are tender but intense. His hand grips onto yours, your fingers intertwined and his other hand griping onto your face.

A tear slips out of your eye, you wipe it away quickly. Your increased sensitivity makes the second orgasm come, Chris fucks you through your breathy moans and you throw your head back. Momentarily blinded by the bliss; the pink sky wakes up from the saccharine, cloudy state. Chris orgasms into you with four thrusts.

You push away from him and stand up; you pull on your silky pants. You sigh and leave Chris on laying breathless on the rug. You walk upstairs and enter your room. You use the toilet, wash your hands, have a glass of water and throw on a short black dress. As you pull on your boots Chris enters the room, a smile gracing his lips.

He pulls on some shorts, “Want to tell me what all that was about?” He gives you a confused expression as he lies back against the bed, taking one of the fluffed pillows from behind him and tucking it between his chest and arms.

Hurt people, hurt people.

You turn towards him, facing away from your walk-in closet. “When we fuck, I have to think about other men to get through it.”

His eyes widen alarmingly, he turns to you, the light of the tv making him blue. “Say that again?” The disbelief is almost tangible in his words.

“I feel embarrassed about being seen with you now. I feel I’m just too good for you.” You walk into the closet and you hear him stomp off the bed.

“No, rewind to what you first said.” His voice is louder, his features twisted with confusion and hurt.

“I have to think of other guys to get off,” your eyes connect with his, you don’t look away, you fight the smirk biting at your lips. “I can’t stand the thought of being with you any longer. I’m sick of it.” You grab the suitcase that was packed for you when you were at the restaurant. “Also, you’re not as ripped as you were when we met, there’s other guys that can provide that image for me.”

“Take it back.” The hurt he’s feeling is completely tangible now. “Take it back right now. Right. Now.” His eyes are pleading with you to have mercy.

You've decided that you've gone past the point of no return. “I’d be happy never have to see you or have to hear from you - ever again.” You scan his eyes, your heart swelling with an eerie feeling of pride as his eyes flood with held back tears.

“This must be some elaborate prank— “he chokes on his words, his hands reach for yours, but you step back.

“This year has been tedious, completely boring and I’ve gotten nothing but only ten decent fucks from you.” Not true, and both of you can attest to that, you've had the best sex, your mutual adoration is clear when you make love. So, Chris is at a loss to understand how this is all being said and happening. “I’m off to New York, stay as long as you like or don’t. I don’t care. Have a nice life.” You slip past him.

Taking his heart and soul with you.

He can’t stop the tears from ballooning in his eyes and then trickling down his cheeks.

He must be stuck in a nightmare. He doesn’t know how long he’s been pacing in this closet filled with your clothes, your smell haunting him.

He rushes downstairs and there’s no sign of you. He stumbles outside and there’s no sign of you or your driver. He rushes in to get his phone and calls you. Five times. The sixth time it goes straight to voicemail.

He feels his heart break.

He falls right in the spot he’s in. He vomits his heart out, the pieces being spat out onto the wooden floors. The blood shinning underneath the soft lights of the lamps.

He wants death. Slow and steady death.

——

Part Deux -

[compo67]

When you get a chance to watch the unnamed thing, will you tell us what you think? Yours are some of the only fandom opinions I care about tbqh.

Hi Anon!

Well, in my sickness, I've had a chance to catch up on TV things, since I've been too ill to be at my laptop. (I don't watch anything on my laptop, I only use it to write.) I caught up with the Great British Bake Off (GBBO) and was horrified to see what Paul Hollywood thinks s'mores are. Abdul was the only one who got it right--s'mores are supposed to be messy, gooey monstrosities and if they're not? You're not making them right.

Onward though, below the cut. (Spoiler/TLDR: I'm not a fan of TW.)

Then I got caught up on Walker Independence, because I love a good Western and I wanted to see what it's about. I don't watch Walker just because I'm not interested in modern-day law enforcement shows. But I can and do love a historical drama, especially if it's done right. WIndy is everything I've wanted so far and more. I love the chemistry between Abby and Kate (eee!), between Abby and Hoyt (ha!), and Abby and Calian (yes!).

I love love love the fact that people of color have representation on and off screen in so many different ways.

There are so many engaging storylines and I just... mwah. Chef's kiss.

There's intrigue, suspense, grief, comedy, and none of it feels forced. I really feel for Abby as she tries to navigate new emotional and physical places she had never anticipated. And I love that everyone has their own backstories that unfold in a very natural way.

WIndy makes me wish I had cable TV so I could watch it when it airs and not the day after on the CW app. It makes me want to have a Twitter account just so I can gush about it there!

So, anon, if you haven't watched WIndy, I very much recommend it.

What I don't recommend is The Winchesters.

It really takes a lot for me to catch up on TV. I'd much rather watch Jurassic Park for the 10000th time or put on Pride & Prejudice in the background and knit or write. But since I've been bed/room-bound for almost... six days now, well. It was a good time to dust off the remote and crack open the TV.

I also started watching AMC's Interview with the Vampire, which is just AMAZING. Oh my goodness, it's gorgeously shot and written. The chemistry between Louis and Lestat! Scorching!

I watched all of that before I landed back onto The Winchesters. I watched TW the first week it came out. But I didn't really remember any of it, so I rewatched the pilot this week. Well. Let me tell you. I had regrets.

No matter how I try to slice it, it just doesn't feel authentic. It doesn't feel authentic to its time period, to its characters, or to its story. I don't see chemistry between the leads or their supporting characters. We know that John and Mary both live well beyond this time period, so there's no sense of urgency or fear that one of them might die. John is a little too sweet, too naive, too trusting for someone just coming home from a major war. And Mary? I can't even begin to express how much I dislike what they've done to her character. I really *hate* storylines where the female lead pretends not to be interested in a guy but then she's actually interested but not but no really.

I just don't see either actor as being John or Mary. That's not their fault, they're good actors, I'm just not sold. I'm far too entrenched in what SPN already sold me. I didn't need to be sold anything else.

Anyway. I also hate what they did with the side characters, whose names I can't remember. I wasn't invested at all from the beginning or the end. I found the Latinx character to be incredibly off-putting. Like they tried too hard to make him sassy. He came off cringe instead.

The demons, the missing fathers, the monster of the week, none of it hooked me.

I wasn't expecting to like it, but I wasn't expecting to hate it this much either. Nothing stuck with me except the negative takeaways. I didn't like this, that, and the other. I can't really tell you anything positive. Even the music wasn't memorable for me. And just because you have representation on screen doesn't mean it's necessarily quality representation.

TW undermines everything about SPN. That's just the heart of it for me.

Did I go back and watch another episode? Nope. I spent my time watching WIndy and IwtV instead. Absolutely no regrets there.

There's nothing to rally behind TW for me. I frankly don't care if John or Mary succeed because, well, I already know how it ends. Instead of trusting me, the viewer, to flesh out the in-between, I'm having it shoved at me and told it's canon now. I can't give them props for attempting to tackle PTSD, because even that didn't feel genuine. I feel like they picked the wrong time period to tell a story they're capable of telling.

So, those are my thoughts and feels about TW and a whole other host of things. I will continue to watch WIndy and GBBO every week. I still need to finish catching up on IwtV. But I will not spend more time on TW.

Thank you, anon. It felt good to put all of this into words.

-Cal

[lahyene]

Chemistry Read.

Pairing: chris evans x celeb!reader

Summary: You’ve been casted as Chris’ love interest in an upcoming movie he’s not only acting in but directing himself. He calls you over to run lines, but you soon find out he wants to do a little more than that to prepare for filming.

Themes: smut

Word count: 1537

Your heart is racing as you knock on the door of the upscale LA apartment owned by none other than Chris Evans himself, the director and lead actor of the upcoming movie you’ve been selected to play the female lead in. 

You only met him a handful of times. He was there during the casting process, of course, and you had to have a chemistry read with him. You could still remember the way he gazed at you with those perfect blue eyes, as if you were the only girl in the world- he’s dangerous, and you’re reminding yourself of that now as you hear the footsteps approach the front door.

But when he opens it and looks down at you with those rugged features and charming smile, any warning from your conscience is thrown out the window. If this was a cartoon, you would have a puddle of drool at your feet by now. He looks ridiculously handsome in a steel grey henley that fits his muscle just right, a pair of dark jeans, and a Red Sox cap atop his fluffy brown hair.

“Hey,” you greet with a smile, barely tugging on your lower lip with your teeth. “Sorry I’m a little late. LA traffic, you know how it is.”

“Oh, do I.” He scoffs, gesturing for you to come inside. “Just another reason as to why I miss Boston everyday. I mean, sure, we get a little road rage from time to time, but at least we know how to keep it movin’.” He laughs softly and you do too, already feeling at ease despite his intimidatingly good looks. “Thanks for coming here to run lines, though. Can I get ya a drink or anything?”

“Just a water is fine, thanks.” You reply with a smile, unzipping your purse to take your script out. “So, uh, was there any scene in particular you wanted to go over?”

“Honestly, I was thinking we should go over the more intimate scenes.” He answers truthfully, going into the kitchen to retrieve your water from the fridge. “I mean, it’s clear we’re killing it with the light, romantic, sugary sweet stuff, ya know?” He comes back with a small grin, handing you the bottle. “And I hear it’s your first time doing more... explicit scenes in a movie?”

Your heart is beating faster solely from the thought of doing anything explicit with Chris, but you force yourself to look composed, smiling slightly. “To be honest, this movie has a lot of firsts for me. I’m more used to modeling than acting, but I’m so grateful to have this chance. I’ve wanted to be an actress ever since I was little.”

“That’s right, that’s right,” Chris nods, and you swear you notice his pacific hues rake over your body. “I remember seeing your pictures during casting. You mainly model lingerie, right?” He smiles, head tilting slightly. “So you’ll probably already feel more comfortable in front of the camera in... well, next to nothing.” He laughs, but you don’t miss the way he bites his lip, the sight in itself making you feel thirsty for more than just water. 

Did he really call you here just to run lines?

“Yeah, I’m pretty used to it.” You answer, your voice a little softer than before as your mind begins plotting. After taking a sip of the water, you set it down on the table. “But it’s not just about the camera, right? It’s also important to be comfortable with the person you’re working with.” You look up at him innocently, barely raising an eyebrow. “So maybe we should really get into character, huh?”

Chris blinks, but the corner of his lips tug upwards ever-so-slightly into a tiny smirk as he looks at you with intrigue and curiosity. “What exactly were you thinking?”

You pick up the script again, flipping to the right page. “Well, for instance,” you answer nonchalantly, “there’s a scene where our characters are making out- but we’re both naked, because we just went skinny dipping.”

Chris’ smirk is getting slightly wider as he walks backwards, sitting down on the couch with his jean clad legs barely spread, his thick thighs looking more welcoming than ever as if waiting for you to sit upon them. “Right. So what are you proposing here?”

You bite your lip as you admire his manly stature before placing the script down, taking hold of the hem of your tank top and pulling it up over your head. You’re making a bold move here, but Hollywood likes bold. And from the way Chris is staring at you in complete awe and hunger, it appears he likes bold too. You’re not done yet, though- you reach behind to unhook your bra, letting it drop to the floor. His blue-green eyes widen slightly before a husky curse escapes from under his breath, his large hands immediately reaching to yank his own shirt off, his hat falling off with it. “C’mere,” he mutters hastily, reaching out to grab your hips and pull you to his lap, eliciting a delighted squeal from your lips.

“I don’t think that’s how the script goes,” you barely have time to tease before he pulls you in for a kiss, his hand wrapped around the back of your neck with his fingers tangled in your hair. 

He chuckles darkly in between steamy kisses, moving his other hand up to squeeze and grope your breasts as if practically worshiping them. “You said we should get comfortable with each other first, right? I think that’s exactly what we’re doing here...”

You can’t help but hum and whimper in satisfaction as he plays with your breasts, your hands moving up so you can run your fingers through his hair as you continue your heated make out session. It isn’t long before you find his belt, unbuckling it and tossing it aside, lifting your hips so both of you can remove your pants and underwear. 

“Did you actually intend on running lines, Chris?” you ask with a breathless giggle, curling your fingers around his thick shaft as you rub it up and down. 

He lets out a deep and guttural groan, tilting his head back while he bucks his hips slightly. “I... really did want to, for at least a little bit... but... fuck,” he’s practically panting, teeth tugging at his lip harshly from the enjoyment your hand is giving him, “Ever since we first cast you, and since I saw your pictures... shit, I needed you. You’re the hottest girl I’ve ever fuckin’ seen...”

“Little ol’ me?” you whisper, rubbing faster and enjoying the pleasured expressions twisting his handsome face. “Well, I’m flattered, seeing how many A-listers you know...”

“Shit, baby.” He growls, giving you an urgent look of desperation. “I need to be inside you right fuckin’ now.” 

As much as you want to tease, you’re only torturing yourself here. You look around, breathing out, “Do you have a-”

“First drawer,” he immediately answers, nodding towards the chest beside the couch. You giggle slightly and lean over, opening it and taking out a condom, removing the wrapper and slowly sliding it along his impressive shaft. 

“You’re so big,” you murmur, lifting your hips and teasing him by rubbing your wet core against his tip. “You’re going to stretch me out so much...”

“Fuck,” he groans, gripping your waist, “I can’t wait, baby girl.”

You sink yourself down onto his swollen head, a moan erupting from your throat as you grip his biceps tightly, eyes closing as you feel him already enter deep inside you. “Holy... holy fuck, Chris...!” 

He smirks breathlessly as he watches you bounce on his cock, his massive hands supporting your waist and helping you move as well, his chest heaving with his breaths. “Shit, it’s like your pussy was fuckin’ made for me, honey. You feel so goddamn good!”

Your moans grow louder as his hands find your ass, squeezing and groping and smacking every chance he gets. You can’t help but marvel over the beautiful sight underneath you, from his perfect facial hair, lust filled blue eyes, huge arms, and toned abdomen. You arch your back to get a better angle, leaning forward as your breasts bounce right under his nose- he gladly begins to kiss and suck on them as he thrusts himself upwards, wanting to fill you up as much as he possibly can.

“Fuck....! Chris, I’m gonna....”

“Me too, baby, holy fuck, me too!” 

You both find your release, your mouth open as you practically gasp for breath, running a hand through your slightly dampened hair as you slowly lift yourself off him. He helps you steady yourself before removing the condom, walking away to dispose of it- you can’t help but stare at his beautiful frame, eyes lingering over the chiseled muscle of his back and dropping to his infamous nude ass. You lean back against the couch, trying to catch your breath again.

He comes back and chuckles, picking up your water bottle and handing it to you, shaking the sweat out of his brown hair. “You know, I think this was way more productive than any chemistry read or rehearsal I’ve ever had...”

[hologramband]

The Hollywood Ghost Club p1

(gif by me) 

Luke x Reader

Word Count: 3k

A/N: In this chapter I reference the song “Welcome to Wonderland,” By Anson Seabra, and yes it was partly a tiktok trend a few months ago but I really liked the idea of having it work here. Anyways give it a listen while you read for a fun time and let me know what you think! (I rly love feedback 🥺)

Link to the pre-Summary thing (x)

It was a busy day at the club, Caleb had more than the usual number of new additions to the club so you had to spend most of your day running around and getting the rooms ready. 

This is the most stressful part of the incoming process, but the one that you thought was the most important. 

Coming to terms with your death and realizing that you will be living in this hotel for the rest of your undead-life is hard to grasp, and it seems to be taken a little easier when the room is nice and cozy looking, with little welcome notes and words of encouragement from you saying they can reach out whenever they need. 

That was your goal, to make sure that they had someone, who had their best interest at heart, to be there when they felt low, or needed help. It’s what you thought you had in Caleb, only to find out just how wrong you were. 

Caleb wanted power, that’s the only reason he was so sweet to you when you got here. He saw the potential you had and wanted to get his hands on you so you wouldn’t use your powers against him. 

As soon as you found out what he was doing, you made a vow to not let him do it to anyone else, if they had powers like yours, you couldn’t let him get his hands on them. 

You had just just finished setting up the last room when you heard the familiar sound of wheels on carpet around the corner from where you were. 

“Willey, I told you not in the hotel! You’re gonna tear up the carpet!” you scolded as you rolled your eyes. 

Willey came into view and you could tell something had happened, his smile was unusually wide at the moment.

“You know the boy I was telling you about? The cute ghost I ran into the other day? He and his band want to talk to you, they want help understanding their ghost stuff, and I mentioned you, so uh.. I’m bringing them over this afternoon!” He rushed everything out in one breath and started jumping up and down in excitement. 

You smiled at his actions and shook your head,

“You seem to really like this boy, don’t you?” You eyed him and giggled as he started to blush. 

“I should be done with my incomings by 1:30 if you want to bring them then, and Caleb should be out until show time this evening so we should be good on that front. I’m excited to meet them.” You smile and look at the boy in front of you get worked up again. 

“Oh, (y/n) you’ll love them! They are so much fun, Reggie can be a little slow sometimes, but I can see you really getting along with Luke, he has some similar attitudes that you do, and then Alex, ugh what’s not to like about him?” Willey was falling into a daze and you placed your hand on his shoulder to bring him out of it. 

“It’s gonna be great, but I do have some newbys to welcome before you bring them here, so I gotta get going, see ya later!” You smile and walk away towards the entrance gate. 

--

Welcoming the new ghost was both rewarding and tiresome, you did what you could to make each person feel welcomed and at home, but some guests were harder than others. 

“Okay, (y/n), we’ve got one more, she should be here in 5 or so minutes. Here’s the profile you asked for!” One of the other ghosts, Kendra, said as she handed you a folder with some basic information on the new ghost. 

Kendra didn’t have powers like yours, but she wanted to help you in any way she could, it was her idea to start collecting data on the new ghosts for you to use to make this an easier process. 

You opened the file and your mouth dropped in shock, tears prickling behind your eyes. 

“Kendra,” You gasped out and she came back and looked at the file with you, “she’s, she is only 6 years old.” You shook your head to get your thoughts straight. 

“Okay, we’re going big for this one. Get some of the dancers for tonight down here in fancy dress, I have an idea.” You decided and she nodded. 

You don’t typically do anything more than hand a personalized welcome bag to the new ghosts or give them a small memento to help them feel like they were in a new home. 

You have never had someone as young as her, this child died at such a vulnerable age, what could Caleb want with such a young ghost? 

You were in the middle of rushing to set things up when you heard the voices of Willey and some other boys coming your way. Checking your watch you realized it was 1:30 and these were probably the boys that he wanted you to meet. 

“(Y/n)!” Willey called and his face fell when he saw your expression, then looking around and saw other ghosts rushing to clear the space. 

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” He continued and grabbed your arm to stop your movements. 

All you had to do was hand him the file and he understood. You turned your attention to the group on boys that came with Willey. 

“Hi guys, I promise I’ll have a more formal introduction in a bit, but right now I really need your help, you sing right?”

The group nodded and you stepped into action. With a snap of your fingers you had changed them all into suits that resembled something out of the “Alice in Wonderland” movie, as that was your goal. 

“Woah,” The blonde boy took a step back and looked up to Willey to see him poofing into a similar style outfit, “Look, not that I mind an outfit change, but what’s going on?” He asked. 

“My job here is to welcome new additions to the club we belong to, I play a somewhat vital part of making the transition from life to death a little easier for those struggling to accept it,” you took a breath as the next part still made you feel a variety of emotions, “We have a new ghost that is coming any minute now that dies last night, she was only 6 years old. I can’t even imagine what she is going through or what she is thinking so this is going to be the most magical and happy welcome I have ever put on.” 

The boys all had a sad look in their eyes, looking at each other and nodding, solidifying their decision to help you with this process. 

Willey handed you back the folder and squinted his eyes, noticing the dim color in your own. 

“(Y/n), how much magic have you used today?” He went to grab your face to look closer but you poofed away, knowing he wouldn’t like what he saw. 

“I’m fine, just follow my lead and, well, catch me when I finish.” You smirk and snap your fingers, causing the room to change from the open ballroom to the looks of an open field with trees and small flowers. 

Hearing a small knock on the door you smile big, 

“Here we go,” you clap your hands and the music starts, the melody of “Welcome to Wonderland” flowing from the band. 

The girl walked in and you smiled and sang the first few lines of the song, opening your arms wide and gesturing to the scene around you. 

“Welcome to Wonderland, we've got it all, Potions and pastries that make you grow tall” 

You snapped your fingers again and a tray of drinks and small snacks that the young girl liked appeared beside her, she grabbed one of each and looked back at you. 

You squatted beside her and motioned to the rest of the room,

“Forests and cottages, castles and cards that can talk” You sang again, allowing her to take in the many sights that the room held. 

“Welcome to Wonderland look where you're at, maddest of hatters, the Cheshire Cat, magical cabins and lovely white rabbits with clocks” As these words were sung you motioned some of the actors to skip out and do a small show of dancing and fun. 

You grabbed the small girls hands and spun her into a dance of your own. 

“Dancing through a dream, underneath the stars, laughing 'til the morning comes. Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart. Oh, Wonderland I love.” 

You take a step back and bow to the child while signing the next line, taking her  hand  directly after.

”Welcome to Wonderland, I'll be your guide. Holding your hand under sapphire skies” 

With another snap of your fingers you change the ceiling to appear a deep blue, with lots of small stars peeking through, pointing out a shooting star to the girl.

“Let's go exploring or we could just go for a walk, Welcome to Wonderland, where should we go?” 

You lead the girl down a path where you see Willey and the boys wait, instruments in hand, ready for their cue. 

“There's a tea party along down the road, make an appearance and maybe they'll sing us a song” You sang, then the boys launched into a slight solo that you all danced around to. 

“Dancing through a dream, underneath the stars, laughing 'til the morning comes”

While this part played out,  you put fireworks in the sky and had everyone come back out to dance with you. You kept snapping your fingers, using more and more of your limited magic to make this the most magical moment for the child. 

You look down and see her eyes gleaming back up at you, bringing a warmth to your chest. 

Knowing you had to wrap this up, you start snapping closer to the girl's head, making her sleepy, and filling her mind with warm and happy thoughts. 

“If this was a dream, then at least I've got memories for when morning comes.” 

You continue the snaps, feeling your magic fading with each one, leaning on a chair for support. You’ve learned in the past that your magic seems to be directly linked to your energy levels, so you knew you had a short amount of time left before you collapsed, so you gave this last part your all. 

 “Now that I must leave with a heavy heart, Oh, Wonderland I love.”

You smiled at the girl as she fell asleep in your arms. You quickly handed her off to Kendra to take her to her room, which you quickly poofed the snacks and other goodies to so she had them when she woke up. 

Knowing this place needed to be spotless before Caleb came back, you used the last of your power to clap and the room put itself back together. 

Directly after you felt your knees start to buckle and you gasped as you started to fall, but knew you wouldn’t hit the ground. 

Within an instant Willey had caught you and poofed you over to a couch where you could rest. 

“That was AMAZING!” the dark haired boy exclaimed, “I do have a question… were those bunny people real?” he moved in closer, “where did you send them?” he had his eyebrows scrunched and was looking at you very seriously. 

“Ah, you must be Reggie,” you laughed, then looked at the blonde boy, “and Alex, I've heard alot about you,” this caused both him and Willey to blush, “and I guess that makes you Luke.” you turned to the brunette, meeting his gaze. He smiled in return and then coughed to break eye contact.

“Ehm, yeah. So, you’ve got some serious power, what you did for that girl, that was truly amazing.” Luke looked around and back to you. “Are you okay though? You look, um…”

“Dim? Yeah, she doesn’t know how to limit herself,” Willey handed you a glass of water, “She has some limitations to how much she can use at once, and then when she succeeds, this happens.” 

You roll your eyes at Willey and take a sip of the water. 

“I’m fine, really, I’ll gain my energy back soon enough,” You brush off the worry and try to change the subject, “So, Willey was telling me you guys had questions?” 

The boys looked between each other and back at you. 

“Well, there's this one girl who can see us, and then when we play music with her everyone can see us perform. We are trying to figure out if there's a way that we can be seen even when we aren’t playing?” Luke stepped forward to ask. 

You tried to hide the shock on your face when Luke said they could be seen, if Caleb knew about this then he’d mark them, so you tried to steer away from that. 

“So there’s nothing I can think of right now, but I can definitely keep my ears open to see if anyone else has ideas. Who is this girl that can see you?” You responded after a bit. 

“Oh! Julie! She’s great, so is her dad, he’s really good at taking pictures and stuff, and her brother-” Reggie got cut off by Alex putting his hand over his mouth.

“Dude, she asked about Julie, not her family tree. Julie was cleaning out her mom’s studio when she found an old CD of ours, when she played it we kinda, just, fell into her life.” He explained. 

“Did you guys die recently?” Taking a once over at what they were wearing you knew they hadn’t, but wanted to give them a chance to explain. 

“We died in ‘95. Uh, an accident of sorts…” Luke scratched the back of his head. 

“We ate bad street dogs.” Reggie dead panned and Luke turned to him in annoyance. 

“DUDE! Not everyone needs to know.” He threw his hand to his forehead as you giggled, then launched into a cough fit. 

“Ah, little bird, why so weak?” Your eyes shot open and met a matching scared expression from Willey. 

You shot to your feet, mustering all the power you could into holding a strong stature. 

“Caleb! I thought you were out until the show tonight?” You questioned.

“Finished early,” he traced a finger under your chin so he could look in your eyes, “why so dull?” 

You gulped and planted a smile on your face.

“Just welcoming today's batch, it can really take it out of me,” you turned to Willey and motioned with your gaze to take the boys away, but sadly not quick enough. 

“Ahh, and who do we have here?” You close your eyes and try to think of something, Willey speaking first. 

“Just some ghosts I met, we were just going,” He tried pushing them away but before they could get out Caleb called them back. 

“Oh, don’t rush on my account! Please, stay for my show tonight, or if you have to go, at least come back for it?” He clapped his hands together and you felt a burn start on your wrist, and his gaze shifted to you. 

“(Y/n) is performing tonight, she’d just love it if you boys could join.” He smiled down at you and the burn intensified.

“Ah, um, yeah! You guys should definitely come back!” You faked a smile and looked back at Caleb. 

“Uh,” Luke started, smiling as he switched his gaze from Caleb to you, “We have a gig at 9, but I’m sure we could swing by for a bit, I’d love to see you again.” He looked at his band mates and they shrugged. 

You winced when he mentioned they were playing tonight, knowing Caleb would ask you about it later, and you couldn’t lie to him, the mark made sure of that.

“Excellent, I look forward to getting to know you boys tonight.” Caleb smiled and started to walk away, but turned at the last second, “(Y/n), darling, can you meet me in my office after you show the gentlemen out?” 

You nodded and he continued on his way, as soon as he was out of sight you turned to Willey. 

“Um, I guess I’m gonna go talk to him, but uh, wanna meet me in my dressing room later?” You prayed he knew what you meant, you guys had to talk about how to go about this situation. 

If you tried telling the boys not to come, you would get shocked, same if you tried to warn them, it was a lose-lose situation. 

Willey nodded and turned to the boys, all of them about to start leaving when Luke turned to you quickly, 

“See you later (y/n)! Can’t wait to see you perform!” He smiled wide at you and you couldn’t help the grin that broke on your face. 

You waved as you watched them leave, the smile falling off your face as they disappeared, knowing what was coming next.  

You slowly walked towards Caleb's office, delaying what was inevitably about to happen. 

Eventually, your walk came to an end, you raised your hand to knock, but before you could, the door opened on its own, Calebs voice speaking from within. 

“Ah, my little songbird, nice of you to join me.” He smiled a wicked smile and the door closed behind you. 

“So, tell me about these boys.” 

.

.

.

Tag List! (inbox me to be added) 

@lolychu 

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Arranged {4}

Yahya Abdul Mateen II x OFC Nyorie Kane

Warning: Mild Cursing. Plot

Words: 2.7k

Summary: Yahya is thirty-three, and his friends and family all seem to believe that it is long overdue for him to have a wife. He’s been set up more times than he can count and with his busy schedule and rising Hollywood star, it is becoming even more difficult to meet people, well people who aren’t looking for a come up. In the beginning, he said he didn’t want anything serious; his motto was “I’m was here for a good time not a long time.” Then it became he didn’t want anything that would distract him from where he wanted to go and what he wanted to accomplish. Now that his fame is rising and he’s approaching a sweet spot in his career he decides what the hell the time might be right.

In comes “A Match”, an exclusive matchmaking company run by his best friend Ramel’s wife Tamika. He gives Tamika and Ramel free rein and all his trust to find him, someone, he’d mesh well with. Instead of going through her clientele Tamika has just the right woman in mind, her best friend, Nyorie. Things are done a little unorthodox at “A Match” though. This unconventional route is credited for a near-perfect success rate.

Note: I’ve only tagged those who have expressed to be on a forever tag list. 

***None of the images are my own***

**Loosely Proofread/Edited**

**Interactive**

Need To Catch Up?| Chapter one | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*

-Chapter Four-

Three days later he was staring at a stack of papers that was the contract agreement. Included in the agreement was also the usual fee for services. Tameka was making bank especially if this was the standard fee for every client. Among the papers was an extensive explanation of what she did, what she didn’t do, how she did what she did and what was expected. There was a code of conduct as well as termination policies. Inside the welcome packet there he found all the information about the different stages and the steps in each stage. This was very detailed and when he assessed it all, it wasn’t a completely illogical way to approach dating.

 Yes, it was absolutely nuts to agree to marry someone without seeing them, but the saying love is blind was coined for a reason. No, it probably was never meant to be taken so literal, but the truth was the same. Love was blind, love should be found and established with the purest cornerstones. His only hang-up was if this was something that was logical for him and who he was now. He wasn’t some local baker, or a teacher or even a city planner anymore. He was an actor. Now most places he went, he was recognized, approached and watched.

 Yeah he could go incognito eighty percent of the time and he was glad for it but he’d come to accept the luxuries of life before were not his luxuries now. He’d traded privacy for paparazzi, and traded clipboards for scripts. He still hadn’t gotten over the differences in his life from a year ago to today.

 The more he flipped through the papers and read them over carefully he thought more and more about what the road would look like moving forward with this. He thought about the kind of connection he would want with a woman and the likelihood of finding it like this. He went up and down and around it for what felt like hours. He talked himself into it ten times and out of it ten times. He’d even written a pros and cons list and had thrown it out and done it again too many times. By the time he’d come up with a decision he was fed up with thinking about it. He knew it was the fear of the unknown at this point. The only thing that was in his head at this point was doing the damn thing. So that’s what he told himself as he tapped out a text to Tameka.

 MSG: Let’s do it Meeka. Let’s do the damn thing!

 He shook his head and tried to shake off how ridiculous he felt. He knew he was ready for it, but he just had to get out of his head with it and allow whatever was meant for him to freely come.

 MSG Tameka: All right then. Fill out the paperwork, bring it back, fax it, courier whatever you choose. Once that’s processed we’ll start your screenings. Be mindful we’re going to be digging deep into your personality. Truthful answers are the only answers acceptable, especially if you want success.

MSG: Got it. Thank you Meeka.

MSG Tameka: You’re like my brother Ya. Anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.

 He’d known Tameka for over ten years. They were similar. In the beginning stages of Ramel’s relationship, he took it upon himself to get to know her to be sure she was right for his best friend. It didn’t take him long to be convinced she would be a good fit for Ramel. Since then they’d gotten closer and she really had turned into someone he considered a sister.

 He sat there in his living room filling out the first page of information.

 “Name; Yahya Abdul Mateen II. Nicknames; Ya, Hya. Date of Birth; July 15, 1986. Gender; grade A man baby. Family; mother and one brother, four sisters. Ethnicity and Race; Black and Proud. Height; six-three. Religion; Muslim. Gender you are seeking; female. Marital Status; Single. Income.” 

It was there he first paused as he tried to think of a response. Was he supposed to put his current net worth, what he had in the bank, what he was averaging per movie? He was probably thinking about too deeply, but he didn’t know what to put, so he put something basic and carried on.

 “Comfortable.” As he got to the second page it got a little more personal. There was a question asking about his family history then another inquiring about his blood type. After that, it went into physical illnesses or mental illnesses. When he saw the big leap from there to asking about communicable diseases he blinked because it wasn’t even page six and already things were getting real.

 He spent the next forty minutes or so answering the second, third and fourth pages that asked everything from STDs to medications currently taking. It was pretty detailed which he understood. These were important questions to know before matching someone. He zoomed through the questions about the reason for his decision for matching, and what his expectations were. He’d set the bar pretty low. He wasn’t sure what to expect so he decided to expect nothing spectacular. You can’t be disappointed if you never really set your hopes up, right?

By page six the real hard-hitting questions began. “What are you looking for in an ideal match?” He thought it would be a difficult question, thought he would have no idea what to write but that wasn’t the case. He found himself writing away. 

“A woman who is down to earth, funny, honest and smart. A woman who knows what she wants from life and isn’t afraid to go out and get it. a woman who is caring, understanding, passionate, supportive, ambitious. Someone who is silly and has a silly sense of humor and doesn’t take themselves seriously. Confidence is major for me, someone who loves music as much as I do, has a great attitude, positive, classy but definitely kinda hood.”

 He reread it and nodded his approval and continued.

 “What’s your type?” A wide smile spread across his face because he knew his type. He’d imagined her several times over the months. “Curvy and thick in all the right places, meat on the bones, beautiful lips, expressive eyes, nice smile, shorter than me, fashionable, black and proud in everything that means.”

 Thinking about his ideal woman and had him thinking what if Tameka actually pulled it off and found someone that was just right. What if in a few weeks his ass found a wife and not just another ex. That tripped him up and had him stepping away from the paperwork for a few minutes to collect himself and his thoughts with a glass of Henny. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready, or he was reluctant for change, it was the reality of a possibility.

 When he returned to the papers he earnestly answered the remainder of the questions that ranged from a full six pages about him and his dreams, wants, desires and another six pages about his ideal mate and what he would want her dreams, wants and desires to be. When he was finally finished it was almost three in the morning and he was exhausted. He’d felt like he’d done a mental marathon. There were questions in this packet he hadn’t thought about in years and at all. he took that as a good sign. The more in-depth the questions the better the outcome, right?

  ~~~~~~~~~

A day later he was sitting in an office with a couple Tameka introduced as Dr. Rachel Abramson and Dr. Martin Abramson. They were in charge of mental and emotional screening and preparedness. His first impression was that he would sit in a comfy chair and discuss his thoughts and feelings about beginning the process. For the first hour that is exactly what happened. They had him begin and assured him now was the time to get all his questions out. So, since they wanted him to ask questions he did.

 “Are the two of you really that good to have so many success stories? There has to be one story of complete failure.”

 The two of them looked at each other and then back to him before they busted out laughing. After a few moments, they finished and Martin spoke first.

 “Tameka said you’d be a little apprehensive about the process.”

 “She sure wasn’t lying,” Rachel added.

 “Ha-ha-ha, very funny. You can’t blame me, can you? This is pretty peculiar.”

 “Okay here’s the thing. On a scale of normal and insane, this is insane when you think of it from a societal norm perspective. We’ve all been taught and conditioned that we have to do things one way in order to find the love and happiness we want and deserve. So we go our entire lives on this hamster wheel trying it over and over and over no matter how many times we fail. No matter how many times we don’t find that love or happiness we want but heartache or loneliness. At what point do you change your perspective? At what point do you start to wonder what are societal norms doing for me? Here we’re changing up the norms. There is no reason why a different approach cannot work,” Rachel finished.

 “We’re doing a different approach for the same goal. The only difference is our approach actually works and it continues to work. We’re that good at what we do because of the process and the screenings, these chats. We now know you want to be a believer, but you have to be shown the way. That will go into your profile and into the decision for those we cross with you for a match,” Martin explained.

 Taking a few moments for their words to register he nodded then shrugged. “All right. I’m here. Let’s do it.”

 That was when they began to dig deeper pulling him to talk about his entire life story, relieve every decision he’d ever made, every experience. He thought about things he hadn’t thought about in years. They had a way of bringing deeper meaning to his experiences, his struggles. They gave him worst-case scenarios and stressful situations, questioned his decisions in relationships and life. They dissected everything and the whole time they wrote note after note and exchanged look after look. After another two hours, he realized just how deep this process got. He felt like he’d just gone through the most extensive counseling session he’d ever had.

 “How do you feel?” Tameka studied him with a slight “yikes” face.

 “Damn that was intense.”

 “Yeah, Rachel and Martin really get in there and tear you apart and put you under a microscope then put you back together. Usually, everyone who sees them says they feel refreshed leaving.”

 “Refreshed? Meeka I feel like I just got a soul cavity search.” She laughed and shook her head.

 “Boy, you so stupid. Seriously, it’s all right. It’s like this for everyone,” she assured.

 “Are all screenings like this?”

 “I wouldn’t say that. This one usually puts everyone through a wringer, you’re facing a lot of things, it makes you doubt yourself; it’s supposed to. It’s part of the process. The worst is behind you. You have three more screenings and then we’ll move on to the fun stuff.”

 “What exactly is the fun stuff?”

 Tameka smiled widely and zipped her lips. He didn’t have a good feeling about whatever it was she was talking about.

 Sure enough, four days later he’d felt like he’d actually gone through the wringer. He’d completed the following screenings that focused on his potential mate love languages and expectations, and sexual expectations and intelligence. It was definitely an intricate process. From what he could tell those he’d dealt with really knew what they were doing.

 After a quick trip to New York for work and a trip with his brother and sister to Vegas for some downtime, gambling and silliness he felt refreshed. 

Today he dribbled the ball around the court with Ramel and crew he tried to keep his mind off of things. Tameka said they would go through his responses and screenings and put together a complete assessment that they would then use to go through their database of potential women he would mesh well with. He knew the processes couldn’t be rushed but he was getting a little anxious after three days and no notification on the status.

 He was a little off his game and Rashawn was taking advantage of that. He stole the ball and dropped a perfect fadeaway bucket. He stood there shaking his head.

 “What the hell has got your mind so outta the game you let Rashawn of all people steal your ball?”

 They laughed at him together and he had to admit he deserved it. He walked to the sideline and dropped onto one of the bleachers. His boys sat around him taking sips of their water.

 “Is this about this matchmaking?”

 Rashawn and Tyrell both sounded off. “Hold up, matchmaking? Are you getting set up?”

 Dropping his head back he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t want them all to know in case it didn’t work out and he was in fact unmatchable.

 “Yeah, I was trying something different, thought why not.”

 “Okay. We didn’t even know you wanted someone. Why you ain’t say something?”

 He shrugged and rolled his head around. “No reason.”

 “So that’s why your jump shot is shit and your ball handling is even worse,” Tyrell chided. He laughed at the insult to injury, he was already feeling like crap.

 “Man kick me while I’m down. Great.”

 “Leave him alone. Tameka’s process is tough. In the early days when she was giving me the run down, she blew my mind with how detailed everything is,” Ramel defended.

 “Right. Damn, I had no idea. After four days I felt like she’d unlocked a whole nother level to my personality I didn’t even know I had.” They all laughed but he wasn’t joking. He was woke before but now he was third eye woke.

 “So you’re waiting for results now?”

 “I’m waiting for them to finish analyzing my assessments. I think they’re screening me with potentials. I don’t even know.”

 “You ready to meet someone? I mean you could have yourself a girl in a month’s time,” Rashawn voiced.

 “He could have himself more than a girl in three months’ time,” Ramel corrected.

 “Yeah, I’m ready. The interesting thing is throughout the whole process of them analyzing me and asking me every question ever invented it had me really seeing how empty my life has been and how stuck I was. It opened my eyes to show me what I had to offer and that I was ready to offer it.”

 They all nodded fulling understanding what he meant. He was glad he wasn’t friends with men who ran from commitments and dogged out their women. He was glad he was surrounded by levelheaded mature men who sometimes acted like complete idiots behind their wives’ backs.

 “Well, I hope Tameka can work some miracle because it will have to be one hell of a woman who keeps your attention cause God knows you got that ADD,” Tyrell piped up.

 Again, they all laughed together, at his expense.

 A few more days passed with him working even more. He went on more and more auditions and his name was being kicked around quite a lot. According to his agent and manager, his name was brought up a lot for different projects. The ones that had him super excited was the fourth installment to The Matrix and a Candyman remake. He grew up on Candyman and damn near tripped down the steps when he’d read the email about it.

 The days passed quickly, and he traveled between NY, Miami and LA all for auditions, meetings, interviews, and photoshoots. he was busy but in the back of his mind, he wondered where he was in the process with A Match. The longer he went without hearing something, the more he worried that he was unmatchable.

 As he was pulling into LAX from his recent trip to London Tameka’s message caught him off guard.

 MSG Tameka: Great news. When can you come in?

 His nerves went into high gear as one thing repeated in his head.

 “So it begins.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 8/10 (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them is expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. Previous chapters:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Author’s notes: we’re getting closer to the end of this journey. Please grab your tissues for this one.

Wordcount: 3275

Warnings: angst (two fools that can’t communicate).

Keanu paced around the room, his stomach twisted into knots, his lungs feeling like they had been wrapped with rope and squeezed tight. Not enough air seemed to reach them. Bile rose to his throat and it felt like he was about to throw up, but whenever he rushed to the bathroom, he could only manage to dry heave, nothing coming out.

He wanted to punch a wall, break something, maybe that would soothe the seething anger raging inside him, but Keanu knew it was the worst way possible to deal with it. Destruction wouldn’t help fix this. Wouldn’t stop the way his heart ached with every beat.

Rubbing away the treacherous tears that escaped his eyes, Keanu moved to the balcony, lighting up a cigarette to try calm and center himself. Maybe if he could do that he might be able to figure out why Steph would do something like that. Why she would hurt him so viciously.

He understood that she was jealous of the way Cassandra acted around him, but she didn’t even give him a second to explain.

Much like he had done when he saw her with Kevin in the club. He had left without a word. Ignored her for weeks. Keanu guessed he did hurt her too back then. Did she felt like this? Raw and bleeding?

Did she saw the entire scene unfolding on repeat in her mind as if some masochistic part of her needed to prod that wound, like a kid discovering their own injuries? They knew it would hurt, but the couldn’t help but pick at it anyway.

Did it hurt her like it hurt him now? Maybe exposing and humiliating him in front of her friends was payback for that?

He couldn’t see Steph being that petty, but then again, he only really knew her for close to three months. As far as he knew all that sweet and kind persona she always showed him could be all an act. She was an actress after all.

The thought of it once again made a lump rise to his throat and Keanu rushed to the bathroom, dry heaving on the toilet for a few seconds before he wiped the corner of his mouth from drool and dropped to the floor, leaning against the cool tiles of the bathroom.

Why couldn’t he catch a break? His life had been one disaster after another. His father leaving; his mother’s string of failed marriages; his struggles through school; the way he crashed and burned with his acting career, now this?

If he believed in reincarnation, Keanu would say he was a shitty person in his previous life. It was the only thing he could think of that would explain all of this. He brought his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of it as he stared at the shower stall. Only hours ago, they were completely happy in there. If he could only turn back time…

Keanu stood up when he heard the electric chime of the door lock, stepping out of the bathroom just as Steph stepped into the room, her makeup smudged for crying. She stared at him, big brown eyes welling up with fresh new tears; bottom lip caught between her teeth as if to stop it from trembling.

He had to force himself to stay still. Keep himself from going to her; catching her in his arms; assure everything would be alright.

“I am so, so, sorry,” she breathed out, voice small and quivering. “What I did was…” Steph trailed off, shaking her head. “I didn’t even know I could be that much of a bitch. I understand if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Steph,” Keanu sighed, leaning against the wall. “It would be easier if I did. I could just leave, but…” it was his time to shake his head, avoid her gaze. “Why? You said you didn’t care. Twice!”

“I know!” her tone went a little high-pitched as she rubbed her forehead. “I really thought I didn’t care… before I realized…” Steph paused, and Keanu could feel her gaze on him, so he looked at her; at the way she chewed the inside of her cheek and fidgeted with the hem of her dress. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes, but he saw something else too.

“I love you too,” he admitted with a defeated sigh. Those were the words Keanu wanted to say all weekend, but not like this.

“Then please tell me we can work this out?” Steph begged, coming to stand in front of him, taking his hands in hers. “You can quit Mars and Venus and…”

“And what, Steph?” he asked, pulling his hands away and sidestepping her. “You’ll support me? Pay my bills? I’m gonna be your personal fuck toy?” His words were harsh, design to hurt.

“No!” she rushed to say, stepping closer again but he took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Keanu, that’s not what I meant, I just…”

“Just can’t be seen with a hooker, right?” he said, once again cutting her off and shaking his head. “For your information, you might be ashamed of my job, but I’m not, alright? I’m not doing anything wrong or against the law. I get to support myself, paying for my dreams, help my family…”

“By selling your body!” she exclaimed and Keanu sighed. If he was honest, he had his own reservations about it the whole thing at first, but he learned to see in a different way as time passed.

“You sell your body,” he pointed out earning a startled look from Steph. “You let someone decide who you’re gonna be, what you’re gonna dress, what you’re gonna say… How is that different from what I do? Except for it being legal and morally accepted?”

With a sigh, Keanu rubbed his temples, feeling a headache starting. He was tired of this. Tired of feeling bad and ashamed about what he did. It was a job and nothing more. He could handle if Steph was just jealous. It would suck but they could find a way to fix it. If she couldn’t accept him or his job? There was no way to go from there.

“I’m tired, Steph,” said in a low voice, turning away from her. “Please go.”

He could hear her hesitating, lingering in the room and he could picture the expression in her face: pained. Distraught. Guilty. Heartbroken. But he wasn’t ready to face her again. Not if he wanted to maintain his resolve.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” He barely managed to get the words out through the lump of pain in his throat. The urge to dry heave returning once again, but he forced down.

“Alright.” Keanu heard her taking a deep breath and her steps moving away from him. “If this is the last time we’re gonna speak, there are three things I need you to know.”

Keanu hesitated for a second, before finally looking up at Steph, finding her by the door, hugging herself, eyes downcast.

“What is it?”

“People in the restaurant heard me and started tweeting. By now, most of the gossip sites and magazines must know already. About me and you.”

“So, you want me to deny it?” he asked his tone a little more biting than he planned.

“I’m just letting you know because the press will be all over you and I’m very sorry about that. Do whatever you feel it’s right.” Keanu nodded in reply and waited as Steph hesitated in speaking again.

“The second thing is that I do hope Dogstar takes off. You guys are really good. Mike wouldn’t have signed you if he didn’t agree and he is one of the best music producers out there. And yes, I know him. I didn’t ask him to sign you. He made that decision on his own.”

There were so many things Keanu wanted to say to that, his feelings bubbling on the surface, too entangled for him to make sense right there, but the truth was that he always had a feeling Steph had something to do with it. All of a sudden a famous music producer comes to check them out? They might live in Hollywood, but this wasn’t a movie. Keanu wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just decided to let go for now.

“What’s the third thing?” he said instead, and this time Steph looked up at him, eyes filling with tears again.

“I’ve never felt for someone what I feel about you,” she declared, firm and strong. “I love you, Ke and I’m truly sorry I fucked it up.”

She was walking forward before Keanu could even process her movements, pausing in front of him for only seconds to silently ask his permission, before pressing her lips to his.

The kiss was soft, full of want, much like the kisses they shared while making love the night before and when Steph finally pulled back, all he wanted was to keep her in his arms and pretend none of that had happened. Instead, he let his arms drop to his sides and watched as Steph walked out of the room and his life.

---

Keanu’s eyes ran over the words of the document in front of him. He knew his brother-in-law, who was a lawyer and much more apt for these sort of things, had already gone through it, making sure everything was as it should, but considering it would be Keanu’s name on the dotted line, it didn’t hurt to look it over one more time.

It wasn’t as if he was hesitant about doing this. He knew he wanted to do it. If he didn’t use this money to help his family what would be the point of everything he had gone through the last year?

In the end, all he ever wanted was to have some comfort for himself, for his family, for those he cared about. After all the years of struggle, Keanu could finally do that. It had cost him a high price, but it was too late.

He set the document back on the bank manager’s desk, signing his name in all the marked places before handing it back to the man in front of him. With that, Keanu had just paid off the mortgage on her mother’s house and a weight seemed to lift from his shoulders as the manager excused himself to make a copy of the document, leaving Keanu to his own thoughts.

“It’s really nice what you’re doing, you know?” a woman commented, drawing his attention to her. From her uniform, he knew she was another bank employee. “Helping your mom like that.”

“Just doing what everyone would do,” Keanu dismissed her words with a shrug, eyeing his phone. He needed to get ready for the interview this afternoon.

“Not true, you know?” the woman said, flashing him a smile. She was pretty. Brown hair, big brown eyes, small frame. Reminded him of… Keanu shook that thought of his head, focusing on the girl in front of him not the one in his past. “This is going to sound like a pickup line, but I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

Keanu let out a sigh along with a humorless chuckle. There were two ways he could answer this, but considering he was in his home town back in Canada, he knew what was the most likely one. He thought he had moved past this, but apparently, it would haunt him for the rest of his days.

“Stephanie Walker’s hooker boyfriend,” he declared easily, the words no longer making him feel ashamed or bitter as it once had.

The woman’s eyes widened in recognition and she scurried off without another word, making him snort and think back on what had happened.

The second Keanu stepped out of the hotel room in Paris all those months ago, his failed relationship with Steph had followed him. Paparazzi and journalist hounded and mobbed him asking him for details if the claims of him being a hooker were true.

Keanu didn’t answer of course, but by the time he got back to the States, someone had found his profile on Mars and Venus and leaked to the press. It was all the confirmation people needed and suddenly he couldn’t go anywhere without being cornered by someone asking for an exclusive interview.

People in his life was shocked by the news and Keanu had to have several uncomfortable conversations with his bandmates and Gard and finally his family. They were less than thrilled with discovery but even more worried about the fact that Keanu wasn’t willing to get out of Mars and Venus.

He used the same speech he gave Steph, about being just another job. About only being thought of it as wrong or bad because of morals and that he wasn’t going to give it up. Not when he was managing to help himself and everyone around him.

Robert and Brett accepted it a little begrudgingly. They knew it would follow Dogstar, but maybe Mike could spin it in some kind of positive way. Gard claimed he didn’t care as long as Keanu showed up on time for his day job. It was his mom and sisters that protested the most, but it was hard to ignore the fact that thanks to Keanu’s job, they managed to pay from Karina’s education in full.

With that in mind, Keanu upped his price to ten thousand dollars a night and started taking requests again. He made sure to let people know that he would not discuss Steph in any way. Most of them respected it. A couple still tried to sneak a question or two, but he made sure to shut then off.

He was getting better at the entire thing, shrugging on the persona of Charles as much as he put the designer clothes he used for those dates. It was just a part he played. Not the real Keanu, because this was a job. Just a job. Nothing more.

Keanu really thought he could do it. Keep going like nothing happened. In the first month of the scandal, he pretended not to seem Steph’s face in every magazine, gossip site, and entertainment channels. Even serious newscasts seemed to use her case as a kick-starter to discuss the politics behind legalized solicitation and everything in between.

However, after that first month, everything seemed to calm down and after the first failed attempts at getting exclusive interviews or conning him into talking about the entire thing, Keanu was left alone by the press and he really thought it was the end of it. That they both would get to move on with their lives.

That was until he accepted a date with a woman, and it turned out as one of the biggest mistakes he ever made.  At first, everything seemed fine. They met at a restaurant, talked and laughed over some wine and nice food. She tried to prod a little into his personal life, but Keanu had long learned to dodge those questions.

He took her home and accepted her offer for another drink and that was when she tried to have sex with him. Keanu reminded her of the agreement they made through the chat and she relented, saying her goodnight.

A week later, his profile picture from Mars and Venus was splashed on the web followed by the article that gave him the moniker of Stephanie Walker’s Hooker Boyfriend. The date had been just a way for the journalist to get information on him and make a stupid exposé.

The entire thing was obviously biased against Steph and as a result, it didn’t paint Keanu in a very flattering light. It almost made him reach out to Steph. Apologize for being responsible to bring up the entire mess once more.

Instead, he quitted Mars and Venus for good. He made enough now to be comfortable and Dogstar was getting more and more gigs. The only good thing that came out of the entire thing. Keanu could afford to rely on the band’s profits. Especially once they signed a record deal.

Flash-forward six months and here Keanu was, back in his home country, for a couple of concerts and interviews to promote their first record. Dogstar was going on their first tour as the actual main attraction. People were paying to see them, buying their record and merchandising. Entertainment channels invited them to play and for interviews. They weren’t huge, but they were making their way and it felt good. Almost good enough to hide the gaping hole that still existed in his heart.

Keanu still thought about Steph every day; wondering what she was doing and how she was faring after everything. He dreamt about her and still caught himself looking at the few pictures she had sent him over the month, they spent chatting through facetime.

“You should call her,” Kim declared, making Keanu start and look over at his sister. She was the one that picked him up at the bank and was driving him to the TV studio. They had an interview before the concert Dogstar would play that night. “Steph.”

“Kim…” he sighed and shook his head. Of everyone in his life, she was the only one who knew everything. She was the only one who knew Steph had been more than just a client. That Keanu actually loved her. “I can’t. What she did…”

“Yeah, I know. It was awful, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you feel well and confident if the person you loved went out regularly in dates with other people?”

“I wouldn’t,” he admitted in a low voice. “But I would talk to them instead of hurting them, though.”

“She fucked up, but let’s be honest: she got the shittier side of this mess,” Kim pointed out, looking sideways at him. “Did you know several ad companies cut off contracts with her after the entire thing? And production actually killed off her character in that big movie she was shooting in France so as not to have her name associated with them. She had lost tons of parts and were even blacklisted by a couple of studios…”

“How do you know all this?” Keanu asked with a frown. His sister seemed more well informed than he could ever hope to be.

“This journalist I like wrote a think piece on the entire thing,” she replied. “Don’t worry, they didn’t mention you. Not directly anyway. It was more focused on how Hollywood is such a misogynistic place and used Steph as evidence. They compared her case with this other actor’s who was caught with a hooker when solicitation was still illegal and absolutely nothing happened to his career. He’s still going strong. It’s not fair.”

He really hadn’t thought about it that way. Considered the impacts of the entire thing for Steph. Keanu knew her world was unforgiving, but he didn’t know she had lost this much… He could only imagine how she was doing. Steph loved her job. That much he knew. And she risked everything by being with him and she was suffering the consequences of it while the worst he got was a stupid nickname.

“Can you send it to me? The article.” Keanu asked once she pulled out in front of the studio. Kim nodded, giving her brother a hug.

“Knock them dead. In there and tonight,” she said, kissing his cheek. “And think about what I told you.”

“I will.”

xxx (tbc) xxx

go to chapter 09

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[ravn-87]

Ask submitted by: @sensual-red-siren

Hey beautiful! I would like for you to answer questions, 8, 16, 25 and 30 😘

I hate that Tumblr didn't tell me this was submitted. 🙄🙄 I'm sorry, I didn't see this sooner. 😚😅

--------------+-

8. How would you describe your fashion sense?

I'd happily wear him (James McAvoy),

him (Ludi Lin),

and him (Will Yun Lee). 😏😎😎🔥

😜😜 jk.

I'm really bad at knowing the exact names of the styles, all I can do is basically point, "ooooo"and grin (and envy 😅😅). But my Pinterest is loaded with things I like. And much of it for different reasons. Sometimes I'll save a pin simply because I like the just the fabric, or cut of the design while hating the pattern, or I like the color combination while hating the design altogether.

I do like comfortable, but modern, and tasteful - classy would be a perk. 😁✨ Me personally, I overheat easily which causes headaches that I've lived with all my life, even as a kid I was real sensitive to overheating and it would get me sick. So I like wearing layers. Lots and lots of layers - simply because you can mix and match and of course, shed!! 🥵

I also got into the whole layer accessorizing where you can wear removable sleeves, or leg warmers, or collars. So I've taken to liking open-back dress shirts, or razor back tank top under shirts, with layer shirts over it. I also like boat neck or off-shoulder tops. Not big on collared shirts personally, but if it's a nice style. I do love dresses, they are so comfortable, and some even surprisingly warm. Preferably with a fitted waist. I was never big on princess bell-skirt ball gown style, but more the elegant flowy thin skirt evening wear. But also - if I could dress like her: I'd be happy.

Also, if it were possible for me to pull these off in a cute way, that would be awesome:

I also have a thing for trench coats, simple light makeup, some awesome lip color, and alternative jewelry (ear climbers, piercings, arm cuffs, cute thin rings, gold tattoos, ).

16. Who is your favorite celebrity?

Gaw I have so many.

I looove Lin-Manuel Miranda - in how creative and intelligent he is but more importantly how kind and encouraging and warm and light-hearted he can be. I love his philanthropy and how he treats people. He never looks down on anybody and he's so playful. I think he's amazing!

James McAvoy - another sweet and intelligent guy with a sassy streak that's hilarious. Gosh I'd love to joke around with him for a while. He seems like a ton of boyish fun. He comes from humble background and never takes his fortunate life for granted. He's incredible.

Gal Gadot - she's so elegant and feminine and still an amazing actress. I love how she portrays classy personality and still such a kid herself. She's a cutie.

Mike Shinoda - I've admired him since I knew who Linkin Park was. Another self-made artist in my aspects, still supportive and makes it a point to connect to humanity and stays grounded, whether it's loyalty to his fans, his band's integrity all through their career, or pairing up his non-profit with other organizations to help hard hit societies. He's humble, he's energetic, he's deep, and power-driven without the ego. I hope his career spans more decades.

Bruce Lee & Jet Li - honor, discipline, respect, integrity. just amazing to admire and look up to as humans. Need I say more?

Noel Fisher - self-made actor, super driven, holds a philosophy I totally feel. I love his energy, I love his personality, and his Bad ass Mickey & Mikey send my spirits and heart soaring. I love who he is and how free-spirited he is and his dynamic acting skills. He reminds me a lot of James McAvoy in a few ways.

There are so many more, even ones who hold my greater admiration, but those are ones right off the top of my head.

25. DC or Marvel? I was a hardcore Batman girl as a kid (and guilty at the age of 8 - desperately wanted to be Catwoman, still want to be Michelle Pfeiffer because my gosh is she amazing, even today!), And I can't help but like men with deep dark streaks but heavily intense moral integrity. So I was more familiar with DC as a kid than I ever was with Marvel, although I wasn't too familiar with a lot of comics back then. But you have to admit, whoever is running the Marvel Hollywood franchise is A FREAKIN' GENIUS!!! They make it both super witty, and humorously sarcastic while still carrying the epic heaviness of a superhero persona in all of their movies. This freakin' franchise has literally held hollywood hostage with amazing captivation, I don't know how they do it, but they're phenomenal at it. But. Personally, even if the DC world isn't quite translating in the same fashion

....😅 I'm still a DC girl.

30. If you could go back in time, what would you do?

Exercise more. I mean seriously, I think that right there is the core bane to all of my other problems - not tending to my energy levels and keeping me active. I really needed to devote more time to that. I'm trying still....

My phone holds my attention hostage more than a lot though. I'm completely guilty about that. Not cool. I certainly know if I had exercised more, my life would be a whole lot different with probably a whole lot less headaches. I need more devotion to that than to anything else. I know it may sound shallow - but the manner in which I conduct my life, if I'm honest, comes down to the willpower in managing my daily habits and making much wiser and more disciplined decisions. I know I would have a lot less regrets in regard to opportunities I skipped out on because I wasn't feeling the best.

Daily habits. It's the daily habits that either rescue or kill us. :/

Also, I seriously wish I had this frame:

I admire athletic women.

Thank you for sending these! I had fun with them. 😁😁😁😘🍧

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Per this ask post:

[sicnna]

look !! it’s sienna de vries !! she’s my favorite a-list actress with 78.6M followers, even though she’s only twenty-one. i heard she can be mercurial and jaded, but i think she’s captivating and conscientous. when i first saw her, i could’ve sworn she was ester expósito, but i’m sure she’s heard that before.

BASIC INFO.

FULL NAME: sienna  de  vries  .

BIRTHDAY: september  27 ,  1998  .

ZODIAC: libra . 

NICKNAMES: si  ,  blondie  ,  short stack  .

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 5′4  , 104 lbs.

TATTOOS:  a  simple  crescent  moon  on  her  shoulder  .

BASIC STYLE:  usually  consists  of  v  soft  ,  feminine &  parisian  pieces  ,  intermixed  with  more  glamoured  looks  for  events  &  work  .

USUAL EXPRESSION:  typically  smiling  ,  or  wearing  a  detached  ,  far  off  look  .

TRAITS: +captivating  ,  +conscientous  ,  -mercurial  ,  -jaded  .

FEARS:  disappointing  others  ,  failure  ,  but  also  not  the  hugest  fan  of  heights  .

AESTHETIC:  breezy  sundresses  ,   delicate jewelry  ,  stacks  of  unread  scripts  ,  whirlwind  getaways  ,  enjoying  a  glass  of  wine  while  trying  out  a  new  recipes  ,  french  cafes ,  slow  kisses  along  collarbones  ,  bright  camera  flashes  ,   seeing  your  bed  after a long  day  .

TRIGGERS:  super  brief  mentions  of  cancer  &  loss  of  a  loved  one  .

BACKGROUND & PERSONALITY.

LUNA BETANCORT &  SILAS DE VRIES WELCOME A  BABY GIRL !  ....   it  was  all  the  headlines  had  read  the  week  after  september  27  ,  1998  when  sienna  was  born  to  the  a-list  power  couple   (  an  actress  and  a  major  league  baseball  player  ,  respectively  )  .

sienna  was  born  in  the  limelight  ,  but  has  been  acting  since  the  tender  age  of  three  .  her  first  role  was  a  small  cameo  in  one  of  her  mother’s  feature  films  and even  though  she  didn’t  understand  it  all  at  that  age  ,  she  was  in  awe  of  it  . 

so  she   grew  up  on  film  sets  .  at  age  four  she  began  a  stint  in  a  long  running  sitcom  and  even  had  a  beloved  character  catch  phrase  (  which  i’m  still  working  out  but  rn  we’re  stealing  ‘  you  got  it  dude  ’  from  full  house  )  . 

during  the  middle  of  her  stint  on  the  sitcom  ,  sienna’s  sight  had  shifted  to  movies  ...  it was  around  this  time  her  mom  had  first  started  getting  sick  and  sienna  was  channeling  that  energy  into  her  parts  .  people  started  thinking  of  her  as  this  young  ,  little  acting  prodigy  (  reminiscent  of  a  young  dakota  fanning  )  and  couldn’t  fathom  how  someone  so  sweet  &  timid  could  just  switch  into  these  darker  roles  after  barely  reading  a  script  ,  let  alone  cry  on  cue  .  she  earned  her   first   sag  award  at  the  age  of  8  .

when  the  sitcom’s  run  had  ended  ,  sienna  was  now  free  to  start  acting  in  more  movies  ,  her  talent  allowing  her  to  star  in  movie’s  along  some  serious  hollywood  actors  and  heavyweights  .  the  young  girl  was  smart  and  far  beyond  her  years  ,  soaking  every  bit  of  it  in  .  it  paid  off  a  few  years  later  when  she  won  her  first  oscar  for  best  supporting  actress  at  the  age  of  11  ,  becoming  the  third  youngest  in  any  category  to  do  so  .  she  was  nominated  for  best  actress  8  years  later  and  while  she  won  several  words  that  season ,  people  were  v  surprised  about  her  losing  out  at  the  oscars  .  that  time  ,  though  ,  was  incredibly  bittersweet  .  she’d  lost  her  mom  to  breast  cancer  in  the  years  prior  and  she  definitely  brought  the  room  to  tears  when  she  got  choked  up  during  an  acceptance  speech  talking  about  how  it’d  been  such  a  shared  love  between  the  two  and  how  she  just  wanted  to  make  her  proud.  

ummm  just  finished  playing  katniss  everdeen  in  the  hunger  games  ( jlaw whomst ?? )  and  she  has  a  movie  coming  out  in  september  that  people are  speculating  will  finally  cinch  her  that  first  oscar  win  .

super  dedicated  to  anything  she  throws  herself  into  .  people  like  to think  she’s  some  sort  of  diva  bc  of  her  impressive  catalog  of  roles  and  how  long  she’s  been  in  the  public  eye  but  she’s  probably  the  farthest  from  it  ??  she’s  enjoyable  to  work  with  and  has  this  sort  of  magnetic  thing  about  her  that  effectively  draws  people  in  and  just  ...  good  energy  .

if  you  haven’t  sensed  it  yet  she  tends  to  overwork  herself  and  is  often  super  tired  bc  of  how  thin  she  spreads  herself  with  projects  and  wanting  to  please  her  fans  .

still  ,  its  rare  not  to  see  a  smile  on  her  face  .  she’s  a  media  darling  and  definitely  has  that  golden  girl  sort  of  vibe  going  on  .  

it’s  not  surprise  that  she  can’t  go  anywhere  without  paparazzi  being  quick  to  find  out  and  its  definitely something that frustrates her ??  she’s  never  had  a  normal  life  and  as  much  as  she  thinks  about  all  the  things  she’s  missed  out  on  ,  she  also  doesn’t  know  anything else ??  she  feels  selfish  for  thinking  this  way  and  for  wanting  something  different  and  quieter  for  herself  ,  esp  when  so  many  other  people  aren’t  lucky  enough  to  have  a  voice  and  platform  ,  but  she  does  and  she  esp  hates  that  success  in  her  world  is  measured  by  the  amount  of  publicity  or  roles  she  gets  .  because  then  where  does  happiness  factor  in  ?  still  ,  she  loves  what  she  does  .

as  i  sort  of  mentioned  above  ,  she  is  v  conscientious  about  her  celebrity and  how  she  presents  herself  .  she’s  involved  with  a  bunch  of  different  causes  ,  v  philanthropic  and  all  about  giving  back  .  v  passionate  about  animals  ,  especially  elephants  !  she  does  a  lot  work  with  them  and  sanctuaries  after  a  movie  role  she   had  a  couple  years  back  and  wanting  to  learn  more  .

loves  to  cook  and  just  have  quiet  time  with  friends  in  between  busy  schedules  .  she’s  incredible  loyal  and  considerate  with  friendships  ,  but  can  be  very  short  and  maybe  even  a  bit  petty  when  she’s  hurt  .

ummmm  libra  sun ,  sagittarius  moon  ,  &  cancer  rising  !  

probably a hufflepuff lbr 

and  i  was  just  talking  about  this  yesterday  so  i’ll  add  that  si’s  love  language  is  physical  touch  with  quality  time  being  a  v  v  close  second  and  i  think  that  speaks  volumes  about  the  kind  of  person  she  is  /  her  values  ??  she’s  just  v  affectionate   and  intimate  moments  away  from  the  camera  when  her  agent  isn’t  blowing  up  her  phone  and  she  can  just  connect  with  someone  else  are  some  of  her  favorite  .  

man   idk  i’ll  maybe  add  more  here  later  but  this  is  a  lot  already  .  i  just  love  her  and  hope  you  will  to  !

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

any  &  all kinds of  friends ,  former co-stars  (  bonus  points for  anyone she was on the sitcom with  )  .

a roommate:  as  requested  here  !

fake  friend:  someone  who  simply  just  wants  to  be  her  friend  and  be  seen  with  her  for  clout  !

industry rival:   sienna  and  your  muse  bump  heads  every  time  they’re  in  close  proximity  of  one  another  .  whether  it  was  because  of  that  time  they  sold  sienna  out  for  a  story  ,  a  party  snub  ,  or  that  one  time  one  wore  it  better  ,  no  one  really  knows  what   it  was  that  started  sienna  and  muse’s  dislike  for  the  other  .  but  the  media  thrives  off  of  the  rumors  of  the  feud  .  (  fellow  a-lister  or  b-lister  preferably  !!  )

friend for the camera: being  friends  with  your  muse  is  one  of  sienna’s  most  exhausting  acting  jobs  to  date  .  they’re  often  seen  hanging  out  at  events  or  talking  about  each  other  in  interviews  like  they’re  great  friends  ,  when  really  it  couldn’t  be  further  from  the  truth  .  behind  the  scenes  these  are  two  people  who  simply  cannot  stand  each  other  .  they’re  thorns  in  each  other’s side  and  often  bring  the  other’s  blood  to  a  boil  when  the  cameras  aren’t  turned  their  way  .  is  the  good  publicity  really  worth  this  headache  of  a  contracted  friendship  ?

the up & comer:  while  your  muse  may  be  just  starting  out  in  hollywood  ,  sienna’s found  herself  taking  a  quick  liking  to  them  ,  and  is  often  there  to  lend  encouragement   or  advice  on  how  to  navigate  fame  .

the almost: sienna  and  your  muse  maybe  v  recently  dated  and  both  had  pretty high  hopes  for  the  relationship  .  they  were  really  into  each  other  but  one  thing  after  another  happened  .  they  fought  a  lot  ,  their  busy  careers  left  them  with  conflicting  schedules  ,  and  soon  enough  what  started  off  as  a  genuine  connection   became  a  much  too  publicized  relationship  .  after  one  fight  in  particular  ,  they  mutually  decided  the  relationship  was  no  longer  going  anywhere  and  they  broke  it  off  . 

[kaynstein]

Koike Shūichirō “Once Upon A Time In America” interview, part 2

Here’s the second part of Koike’s interview. He talks about the different main characters of the musical and the siennes, who play them. Some parts sound a bit wonky because I couldn’t figure out a better way to translate it into english. If you have any advice, feel free to tell me.

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About Yukigumi Topstar Nozomi Fūto playing Noodles

Nozomi has accumulated an impeccable career and is a renowned topstar, who possesses both strengh and charm. There are many different ways in which stage performers can shine, but this time we don't want a diamond-like radiant light from her, but a thick brilliance like oxidized silver. I think that, if it's Nozomi, this will come through, also the script and direction are all done assuming that she can emit such a light.

Nozomi already played a member of the mafia as Al Capone in ''Al Capone – The Hidden Truth of Scarface'' (Yukigumi 2015). Compared to the extraordinary mafia boss Al Capone he's a ficional person, but I would still say that Noodles has a more realistic feeling to him. It's a contest, so to speak, to see if she can make the dark chocolate like bitter taste of ''lower middle class'' Noodles appear sweet to the audience. We look forward to finding ways to present the sorrow of life and see how much the audience will sympathize.

About Yukigumi Top musumeyaku Maaya Kiho playing Deborah

Deborah is a successful women, who wants to become an actress, but in the movie she appears only scarcely and we can only speculate about her life. However, since it is already established that she wants to become a broadway star and play an active part in Hollywood, we expanded on that part. We also created a spectacular revue scene from the Broadway of that time, so please look forward to it.

Maaya herself has a healthy light about her and fits the image of a modern heroine well. Deborah is a very theoretical woman with a firm heart, who steadily works towards her goal. But she also treads a very complicated path in life, so I want to combine Maaya's glamour with something like humidity and emotiveness to show a feminine strength.

About Ayakaze Sakina playing Max

Max is a so to speak evil, but intelligent man. He craves to survive and sometimes doesn't choose the means, but in fact is very calculating. In other words he isn't just a bad guy or a smart guy. In addition, there's also a desperate side in regards to love, that might feel like a split personality at first glance, but I want to express the various facets that there are to a person.

Seeing how acting star* Ayakaze would perform this difficult role was one of the things I was  looking forward to with this production; the other one is the struggle between two evenly matched oppositions with Nozomi, who plays Noodles, a friend and also kind of a rival on stage.

(*he uses 演技派 (engiha), which describes a talented actor, who relies more on skill than good looks)

About Ayanagi Shō playing Jimmy

Ayanagi plays an extremely difficult role, who's position changes over time. She was given a lot of delicate Bishōnen roles in the past, but I think she isn't just visual and due to her being highly skilled, can take on the trickster-like role, that you could say moves this story forward. Playing Jimmy, a role with a distinctive deep colour, could bring out her own charm even more, I think.

About Asami Jun playing Carol

We changed the setting a little from the movie and called the prohibition era ''Speakeasy''; she is a diva at an unregistered bar, who illegally sells alcohol. She's also a lover of Max, played by Ayakaze, but she takes things too far out of love for him, which greatly changes her life. Since Asami is an otokoyaku, I expect she will be able to skillfully perform the changes after the brilliantly shining diva times. Also, I want her to have sex appeal equal to that of the Carol in the movie.

Your impression of current Yukigumi

I think they're a very solid troupe with extraordinary power. The recent topstars Sō Kazuho-san, Sagiri Seina-san and Nozomi Fūto-san were all ''fighter''. (lol) They are all very positive and have a shared honesty. Yukigumi gives off the impression that they can do everything from ordinary to extraordinary by how hard they work on their roles, as well as how things are during rehearsals, so I think that they will give a passionate and elaborate stage performance. Also, they are not only reliable, but give off a sense of substantiality as well because of their lively and open-hearted atmosphere.

On a final note, a message to the audience

This upcoming Takarazuka production may be a little different. However, the protagonist of this work being played by the mature otokoyaku Nozomi Fūto is what makes it significant for Takarazuka. In that respect it will be a production, that's very dependent on Nozomi, but current Yukigumi has enough strength to support that, so I think they will be able to show a meaningful and profound performance.

Although this production has a bitter taste for a New Year's performance at the Takarazuka Grand Stage, I am confident, that you will be able to feel the new charm of Yukigumi and the otokoyaku, led by Nozomi. Since it is a cold season, if you keep chewing, you will get an even greater taste, so like a nourishing and strong hot pot, I hope you will enjoy this thoroughly and deeply.

[kitcat992]

Endgame thoughts and emotions: A proper review

Yeah, I did the unthinkable today. I saw the movie for a second time. And in my defense, I did not want to. I laid in bed as my friend literally tried to pull me out of my blanket burrito and drag me to the movie theater. The issue is, he bought me a ticket and really wanted me to go with him for his first time showing. After much commotion, I dragged myself into a theater seat, pouted, and watched it for a second time.

I decided to try and find a silver lining in my misery: Now I can view the movie with a much clearer mindset, without the fog of fan excitement and the years worth of anticipation. Plus, it was a matinee showing, so I was sure the crowd would be a lot less rowdy and I would be able to really immerse myself in what was happening. And most of all, if I was going to bitch this much about the movie, I decided it was only fair I really give it a good watch.

So here I go: Thoughts and emotions the second time around.

Too long; didn’t read: It’s still shit.

Tony’s opening scene in the Benatar remains to be the best part of the film, along with his confrontation with the team, specifically Rogers. These moments are why the film started off so strong – we were receiving exactly what we waited for since Civil War. I repeat, we waited 3 years for Civil War to finally pay off. But it’s really pathetic that the only good parts of this film are the beginning, right before the 5 years later cue card.

Despite the amazing pay off from the fallout in Civil War and the incredible acting from RDJ during that confrontation scene, the pacing of the beginning STILL felt all sorts of weird. For starters, did Marvel just assume that every single movie-goer would watch Captain Marvel/Captain Marvel’s end credits scene?

Without that scene, without the whole “We found Fury’s beeper.” and “Where’s Fury?”, Captain Marvel’s entrance makes ZERO sense. And ya know what? Even after seeing the movie [Captain Marvel] it STILL makes zero sense. This is one of the many moments in the film that we’re left to assume. We’re left to assume that the team told Carol about Tony having flown to space to stop the doughnut ship, and we’re left to assume that she went and spent 3 weeks looking for him.

I was flooded with questions before the title card even rolled: When did they find Fury’s pager? And how did they find Fury’s pager? Were they just walking the streets and came across it, or did it have a GPS of sorts on it, or did it have an alert set to notify the compound in case of emergency? Did they tell Carol to go search for Tony or did Carol come across Tony on her own accord? How did they know Tony fought Thanos?? Tony even asks “Who told you that?” Well, who told him that? Did they receive the messages from his Iron Man helmet from when he was onboard the Benatar?

And let’s talk about Irondad&Spiderson moment that wrecked me – “I lost the kid.” Don’t get me wrong, this had me peeing my pants a little bit. But HOW did Steve know about “the kid”? His face says he knows, the way he reacted says he knows. Does he just know Spider-man is a kid, and he knew Spider-man went to space with Tony Stark, thus that’s the kid Tony refers to? Or did Steve also know about Peter before Civil War? Perhaps he was someone they both were planning to recruit, but Tony got to him first. How does he know about “the kid?”

That’s a lot of questions for the first, what, 10 minutes?

Immediately feeling the pacing so off balance in the movie this soon was incredibly troublesome. It only gets worse once they go off to kill Thanos. Because the moment Thor walks out of that hut, the movie takes a nose dive it never stood a chance to recover from.

5 years later.

Fuck that noise.

Okay, so the “5 years later” part didn’t bother me during my first watch. Because I so strongly (and naively) thought time-reversal was the end fate for this film. It was the only goddamn thing that made sense. But, to say the least, nothing following this cue card makes sense.

For starters, there’s just NO information given to the viewers about what happens from the fallout of The Decimation. So once again, we’re left to assume. Did the Avengers hold a press conference? Does the world now know about other universes and infinity stones and magic? Was Carol Danvers the one to explain that? Or Tony? Was the world angry with the Avengers for not stopping Thanos? Does the world even KNOW about Thanos? Does the world know what we the audience know or did the government sell them a lie? How about the Accords – did that dust away too, because we see Natasha handling business with the help of Nebula, Rocket, Rhodey and Carol.

But there’s not even a HINT of what civilians think or what they were told. We’re left to assume.

It turns out Steve’s little support-group-talk about “Some of us moving on” was actually a way for The Russo Brothers to completely erase his character development of the past handful of movies. Here we naively thought he was talking about moving on from the loss of Bucky and Sam and the other half of the universe…nope. All a ploy to remind the audience that despite the fact Steve Rogers said goodbye to Peggy Carter, buried her body, and began to live his own life in this new time and world, he still hadn’t moved on from the woman he loved for 21 months. Not only is this a giant slap in the face to Steve’s narrative, but he’s turned into a hypocrite by preaching “move on” without actually moving on himself. “Some of us move on…but not us.” is NOT a way to justify his actions at the end of this film.

I’ll say it now and here: I’m positively sick of Hollywood preaching that happy endings only come in the form of romantic relationships.

Natasha’s little spiel about family was sweet. I knew she was dead the moment she said it. My first viewing, I was okay with this. I actually felt a little touched, knowing that she got redemption from her red ledger by making the sacrifice for the family that she found. Upon my second viewing, I actually got pissed. Very pissed. Ya know why? Because Clint deserved to make that sacrifice. Nay, he needed to be the one to make it. But I’ll get there.

Paul Rudd’s acting for his reunion with Cassie was actually really touching. In fact, Scott Lang probably suffered the least amount of character-development-fuckery in this entire film. It probably helps that he was stuck in the quantum realm for 5 years instead of living with the others. I guest we’re just supposed to assume these characters changed over the course of 5 years, because they sure as hell aren’t acting like themselves.

*sigh* Tony…*bigger sigh* Morgan Stark. I know I’ve said it once before, if not multiple times already. I’m sorry for being a broken record. But Tony did not need to have a kid. She only served purpose to the narrative if time had been reversed. Perhaps Tony procreated with Pepper after Infinity War because he felt he needed to contribute to society and help get the universe back to how it was. Okay, I can flow with that. Even his insistence later on that they bring the dusted back but “keep everything from the past 5 years, at all cost” would play majestically into the ultimate sacrifice of losing his daughter for the other half of the universe to return. Watching these scenes [with his daughter] the first time around wasn’t as painful when I so naively thought time reversal would occur. My unbelievably intense opinion that Tony and Pepper did not need a kid keeps me from even remotely enjoying them now. Another thing Hollywood so wrongly assumes and pushes on audiences: If you’re a couple, you have to have a kid. Tony and Pepper were just fine without one and bringing a child into their story only prevented Tony from reversing time.

Also, the little girl who played Morgan was horribly directed. I know she was young, and I know kid actors aren’t great to begin with. But she mumbled all her lines and never looked anywhere but the ground. I will give credit to RDJ for playing the fantastic Irondad we all knew at heart he was, and I’ll treasure those moments with Peter in mind instead of Morgan.

But again, more questions arise from here. Steve, Natasha and Scott come to talk Tony into doing a time heist. The way Tony looks at them all…I can only assume he hasn’t spoken to them in years. But when? When did they all fall apart? Was it directly after he slammed his arc reactor/nano housing unit into Steve’s hand and passed out? Was it after the team told him, off camera, that Thanos was dead and the stones were gone? Have they kept in touch at all?

For the most part, Tony seems civil to them – “Table is set for 6, if you don’t talk shop you can stay for lunch.” and even pours them all drinks. But so much was left unsaid/off screen that I have no idea what’s gone on between these characters in the past 5 years. A cue card doesn’t tell me narrative. At this point in the film, I’ve already got a headache. I’m asking too many questions and getting so little answers.

I cannot even begin to express my utter disappointment in how they handled Professor Hulk. Even during my first viewing of this film, I had face palmed at this diner scene. Mark Ruffalo had a very well-thought out mini story in every Avengers film and even during Thor: Ragnarok. His struggle to control the Hulk, and Hulk’s distaste for Banner, all led up to Professor Hulk. How Banner described him is exactly how he was supposed to be – brains and brawns, the best of both worlds.

He was instead used for jokes. And lets be honest, he just looked weird. He acted weird, he looked weird, and every time he had a moment on screen I was just uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. I loved Ruffalo’s performance of Bruce Banner and all that just went away with this film. I don’t even like to think of Bruce Banner in this movie. Science Bros went away, his dynamic with the team went away, so much went away.

It felt like watching an alternate universe Avengers at this point, it really did.

Tony’s desire to get Peter back saved the universe: That is fact, that is canon. He was adamantly against time travel until he saw that photo and then BAM, he figures it out. I will take joy in this moment, despite wanting it to be something else. I really wanted this to be a grieving moment, I really wanted him to be at May’s place (who be are left to assume got dusted) or at a makeshift funeral/memorial or something. I’m happy to have gotten this scene, I really am. But I also feel empty from it. Perhaps that’s because so much is left unsaid that we’re left to assume the nature of Peter and Tony’s relationship since Homecoming.

So again, I get my hopes up for this time reversal that never pans out. Tony  has a conversation with Pepper about how he figured out the time travel nonsense, but he could put a pin in it immediately and forget all about it. Pepper, softly and a little heart broken, said he wouldn’t be able to rest if he did. In my honest opinion, that was Pepper telling Tony “I don’t want to lose what we have…but so many others lost so much more. We can try this again. We can have a second chance.” That, to me, was Pepper accepting the possibility of time being reversed to 2018 and losing Morgan and their cabin and all they had done in the past 5 years. In that moment, she accepted that. She gave him her blessing.

This made sense to me, this made sense to the narrative. Because this would leave Tony with a heart breaking choice of choosing the universe over his daughter. But he would, because that would be his ultimate sacrifice. One last sacrifice, to quote his movie poster. He’d be absolutely heart broken but he would know that his loss was nothing compared to all those who were dusted, all those who lost their lives by the dusted (falling air crafts, ect) and all those who took their lives due to the grief. He’d make that decision. And we’d go back to 2018 where time would be restored to how it was. If the writers really wanted to keep the Morgan nonsense, they could have even give him a happy ending by Pepper announcing she’s pregnant in 2018, showing that he’ll still have Morgan and his happy life.

Ultimately, this is not what pans out. Things only get worse from here.

Tony returns to the team, who failed at managing time travel with Scott due to lacking a time-travel-GPS. I’m not even touching that scene, it’s just sorta pointless and there were pee jokes and…yeah. Tony invents this time gps and agrees to help them, so long as nothing changes from the past 5 years. He gifts Steve a new shield, admitting that resentment is corrosive.

So…I’m left to assume he and the team really did split ways after his return from space. I mean, it’s a sweet moment….but I’m also left to assume what the shield is made out of. Is it Vibranium? Does that mean Thanos’ sword can cut through Vibranium, as it goes on to cut through his shield during the final battle?

A throw away line here was vital and never received. Steve’s shield was widely known for being made from the strongest metal in the world, and if you’re going to recreate it, you need to establish if it’s made of the same material. A simple “You better not toss that around like a Frisbee all the damn time, it’s not made of the worlds strongest metal, ya know.” or “It cost me an arm and leg to get some of that glorious Vibranium from Wakanda. Be careful with that thing.” And all you’d have to do to make time for this one throw away line would be cut one of the many unnecessary childish jokes in the movie, or reduce the “Nah, take a picture with him, ‘cmon!” scene from like, a solid minute to 30 seconds.

Its small things like this sprinkled throughout the entire film that goes to shine a light on how awful the script really was.

They decide to get the team back together, which includes Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula. And Thor.

Pour one out for Thor. He ain’t dead, but his character development sure as hell is.

My anger with Marvel, the MCU, Kevin Feige and The Russo Brothers stands to be for so many reasons, but this one might just take the cake. Once all of my anger dissipates from bad writing, the destruction of character development, the immature jokes – this will be the one thing that remains. I will never forgive any of the parties involved for turning Thor’s clear-as-day PTSD into a fat joke. Thor became a depressed, traumatized alcoholic.That is NOT something to make light of, and yet at every corner there was a joke for him.

His one serious moment – when Professor Hulk mentioned Thanos’ name and he was so clearly triggered into a state of emotional distress – was laughed off by Rocket telling him they had beer on the ship. So not only was his depression laughed at with the fat jokes, but his alcoholism was turned into jokes as well. As someone who grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, I cannot condone this type of humor, especially for young children. There are some things you just do not make fun of.

I wrongly trusted Marvel to be able to handle mental health issues with grace and dignity, as seen in Iron Man 3. They did more than drop the ball on this. They played skee ball with it.

Oh, and Hawkeye is now Ronin (was his name actually said, though? I guess we’re left to assume again) and he’s been murdering a shitton of people. Natasha finds him, says a sad line about “not being able to give hope sooner” and recruits him. So that’s cool, I guess. Problem is no one cared about his family to begin with and they still sorta don’t. But, yeah…everyone bring the murderer onboard. Cool. It’s sorta telling the audience (which includes kids) that its okay to murder as long as you actively kill bad guys, but yeah, whatever.

Now, things have been bad up to this point. Very bad. But it just gets so much uglier from here. The team discuss Time Travel and try to tell the audience how it REALLY works in their universe – by dismissing the notion of “you mess with the past, you mess with your future” theory all movies tend to have. This is essentially the butterfly effect and its really the only way to go about time travel.

But they couldn’t do that, because then we couldn’t have the time travel shenanigans that follow. And honestly, I’ve seen a LOT of things with time travel, and their explanation still doesn’t make sense. “You can’t change the past, only your present, which then becomes your past.” Whatever, Russo Brothers. You’re just trying to pass off a shitty time travel plot without actually caring about it.

Clint does a trial run of time travel, it works, and then they go about figuring out where the stones were so they can travel back to get them. None of this was entertaining. Rocket calling Scott a puppy fell flat, for starters. Thor having an obviously distressful triggered moment recalling his mother and Jane was painful to watch and equally painfully to hear the audience howl in laughter from it. It was nice to see a 15 second shot of Tony, Natasha and Bruce laying against each other, surrounded by books as they try to figure things out but these type of brief, fleeting moments were why I was so found-family-trope baited in the first place. 4 movies too late, MCU.

Also, Nebula tells them clear as day that Vomir is a place of death and Thanos went and came back without his sister, to which Scott jokes “Not it.” So SERIOUSLY, Nat and Clint knew something was up before they even went. Dick move to whoever sent them there.

Time travel shenanigans from here. They split into teams and go to their past locations where everyone fucks up everything in every timeline, but there are no consequences because the narrative established “you can’t change the past”

Listen, I do not even WANT to try and understand this. I don’t. It’s why I don’t mess with TheFlashTV anymore. Professor Hulk goes to get the time stone but The Ancient One won’t give it to him and they have this long drawn out discussion about how if the team doesn’t return the stones, her new timeline/reality is doomed. So Bruce’s astral form promises to bring them back and he tells her Strange gave it up willing and she gives it to him and…*sigh* Again, the Russo Brothers using cheap lines to try and explain their shitty use of time travel. This scene exists solely for Steve Rogers. It gives him his reason to travel to the past at the end and return all the stones to their rightful place (and, as it will later be discussed, say Fuck You to everyone in the year 2023.) That’s all this scene is here for.

Loki got away with the space stone/tessract, Thor gets to talk with his mother while Rocket grabs the reality stone, Nebula somehow connected with past Nebula’s harddrive and Thanos got to see her memories and Clint and Natasha did a little remake of the Thanos and Garmora sacrifice from Infinity War. To make matters even WORSE, because Loki got away with the space stone, Steve and Tony have to travel to 1970, to the SHIELD bunker seen in The Winter Soldier and where the space stone/tessract is being kept, as well as grab some additional Pym Particles on the way since they didn’t have enough for the additional jump.

This entire scene is garbage. Tony runs into a young Howard Stark. And I guess because Tony’s a dad now, he goes on to forgive his own dad for abusing him. As a child of abuse, fuck that noise. Howard is made out to be a man with good intentions and Tony even hugs him before he travels back.

It’s like the Russo Brothers wanted to write Tony having everything he ever wanted (a family, a kid, closure with his father) before they killed him off. This scene served nothing to the movie, nothing to Tony’s narrative and really sent a harsh message to victims of parental abuse. The mix messages with Howard along the way of the MCU films are so flawed I cannot even begin to describe them here.

Oh, and Steve runs into Peggy’s office where he stares at her from afar. This is the Russo Brothers once again shoving down the agenda that Steve Rogers needs to be with Peggy Carter if he’s to be happy. Despite having said his goodbye and having buried her body, he’s still hung up on the woman he knew for 21 months over 16someyears ago since coming out of the ice. So we get that.

Rhodey and Nebula grab the power stone. Rhodey spends like, 1 minute talking about the temple being boobytrapped only for them to walk into it fine. Not sure what that dialogue was there for. Nebula burns her hand off getting the power stone, they go to travel back but 2014 Thanos links with 2023 Nebula’s mind harddrive and accesses her memories and discovers the future and…yeah, I’m just not even in the mood to explain this. Nebula was kept around as a plot device. It’s a real shame to see her character reduced to that. Also, jumping way ahead here — someone seriously needs to explain to me how she still exists after killing her past self. I need that explanation like whoa.

Thor’s conversation with his mother about “being who he’s meant to be, not who he’s supposed to be” would have been more touching if the fat jokes weren’t tossed in every other line. He legit had a panic attack, even SAYS “I think I’m having a panic attack.” and how do the writers go about this serious mental health issue? By having Rocket slap him.

I was sitting near a middle-aged man who howled SO loudly with laughter at this, it reminded me of how people laughed at the 3 stooges. Way to go with that one, Marvel.

I think that about sums up the time travel shenanigans. While it was fun to watch the 2012 Battle of New York from a different perspective, everything just got so royally fucked up that my headache was turning into a migraine at this point in the film. But again, it doesn’t matter. Time travel in this movie is explained as “You can’t mess things up. You can’t change the past.”

But wait. The best is yet to come. Our first death of the movie. It’s bad enough that Natasha died instead of Clint, but to have her death be such a blatant rip off of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War is a real slap in the face.  All the way down to the usage of the same score music. Why? That only made the scene less emotional and moreso, took away from the impact of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War. The entire time, I felt like I was watching a fanfic with that scene. Among many others.

Clint deserved/needed to die instead. I get that they “battled it out” to be the one to jump, and he wanted to be the one to die – I get it. But that’s just…sorta not good enough. Because the writers wrote all that in when it didn’t need to happen. For starters, the entire fight over who jumped was drawn out and quiet frankly, hilarious. Sure, it showed a bit of their personalities and what friendship they had, but it ended up laughable. Maybe that’s because everything leading up to this felt like such a joke as well that I couldn’t take any of it seriously.

Regardless, while I’m not nearly as angry at Natasha’s death as I am Tony’s, I still strongly believe Clint should have been the one. Otherwise, the message I walked away with is: It’s okay to go on a murdering spree when you’re feeling hurt and bummed out, as long as you say sorry for it and try to take the spot of sacrificing your life. 

I would say that Marvel didn’t want to kill off a “family man” with Clint, as he had his family and kids, but Tony had that at this point as well. I feel they killed Natasha off because they didn’t know what else to do with her, as so clearly evident in her other films. She had no direction with these movies, no real character arc to go off of, and even with her solo movie in the works (an obvious prequel) she was sort of an empty slate waiting for her story to be told. Marvel never used her properly, never really took advantage of her, and at one point even gave her a relationship that did NOT need to be [Brutasha] because they were so clueless as to what to do with the only female Avenger. (Which means she HAS to have a love interest, right? RIGHT? God, Hollywood sucks with females)

They return to 2023 with all their stones and without Natasha. There’s a 1 minute grieving scene where Professor Hulk throws a bench in the lake and Steve blinks a tear and that’s…it. I mean, christ, don’t dedicate another second  longer to the poor woman, we couldn’t have that. Gotta make room for all those fat jokes. /s

They put the stones into Tony’s nano gauntlet and fight over who should put the gauntlet on – Professor Hulk wins. He says some shit that’s pulled straight out of his ass about gamma and how much gamma is surrounding the glove and that only he can handle it because Hulk is gamma. “It’s like I was made for this.”

Okay, whatever. Seriously, all this is so out of nowhere that I can’t muster the strength to care. A universe that always relied on collective narrative and plots weaved throughout movies is just pulling shit straight out of their asses at this point and I’m supposed to eat it. Please just snap your fingers and reverse time to 2018, Professor Hulk. That’s all I’m waiting for.

Tony once again says DO NOT lose the past 5 years and I guess the stones work off of what you’re thinking (ie: why they won’t let Thor do it, he’s too much of a mental mess) so Bruce…thinks about the dusted and snaps and…yeah. The dusted are back. A bit anticlimactic.

This also raises SO many questions about so many other things…what about those that got dusted in crashing airplanes? Are they just falling from the sky now?  People who were in boats that are no longer there, or in trains, or cars? What if they were dusted where a wall is now built? Are they morphed into the wall? Not to mention, bringing the dusted back in the year 2023, 5 years from when they were dusted…the legal problems that will occur. What if you had an apartment and someone is living there now? Where’s your stuff? What if your spouse married another person? Not to mention, what if your loved ones who survived The Decimation committed suicide in grief?

What about all that life insurance that was dished out?

None of this is explained. I doubt any of it ever will be. As the audience, I am once again left to assume.

So anyway, cue final battle scene. Thanks to time travel fuckery, 2014 Thanos is in 2023 and he bombs the shit out of the compound and it’s all CGI action from this point forward.

I mean, the fight was pretty cool. It was just…it was a lot of CGI, and to be honest, it was dark. Like, hard to see kind of dark. I get the tone and atmosphere they were going for, but one of the reasons I loved the Wakanda battle scene in Infinity War so much is because it was during the daylight. Even the battle of Titan was bright. Again, I get the tone they were going for, but I had a lot of trouble seeing what was going on, and it was a lot at once.

The OG 3 fight Thanos alone at first, which was cool. They all get their asses handed to them and Steve’s the one left to try and finish him off, solo, when Doctor Strange opens portals around the universe and brings all the dusted and army’s to the fight. I’d like to say I felt the same excitement watching this the second time around as I did the first, but I just…didn’t. Knowing the ending of this movie robbed a lot of initial joyful moments and if you ask me, a movie shouldn’t do that.

Also, yes, the fanservice moments exist. Steve lifts Mjolnir and says Avengers Assemble. I’m sorry, that’s not enough for me to forgive the mess of this movie.

A few pairs have their reunion scattered along the battlefield. I absolutely adored Peter and Tony’s, though I remained vastly uncomfortable that Peter was suddenly 5 years in the future and even addresses it as much. “And then Doctor Strange said you gotta hurry, it’s been 5 years!” Like…again, if this was reversed, that’s fine. But friggin hell. At this moment he doesn’t even remember turning to dust and how much pain he was in. Simply “Remember when I got all dusty? I must have passed out.” They hug though, so at the end of this shitshow at least the Irondad&Spiderson fanbase got their hug.

Rocket and Groot exchange a look and say nothing.

Fucking Steve and Bucky don’t even talk or see each other in battle. Probably because the Russo Brothers reallllyyy wanted to push that Steve/Peggy agenda and not remind anyone of Stucky. I look back on my complaints about the Irondad&Spiderson in this movie and take my grateful’s that we got the hug, because the poor Stucky fanbase got friggin robbed.

So again, big giant CGI battle fest. At one point they’re playing Hot Potato with the gauntlet trying to keep it away from Thanos and get it to Scotts van. I will admit, seeing Peter get like, 11 moms all at once was badass. Though it broke my heart to see him curled up in a tight ball holding the gauntlet like that…boy gunna have some real PTSD that Far From Home will likely brush off with more jokes disregarding and disrespecting the seriousness behind mental health and trauma.

I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I repeat: I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I know this moment had a LOT of characters to balance, but christ. If the writers can’t handle multiple characters with grace, they shouldn’t be handling multiple characters to begin with. Most were in this battle scene for the sake of showing their face. I mean, did Mantis even fight? So much was going on I couldn’t see past the center focus.

And I know a LOT of people complained that they didn’t want Captain Marvel to be the one that saves the day, but honestly, she would have been the better fit.

Tony making the final snap was done for shock factor. I stand by it. The narrative called for Steve Rogers to lay down his life in a blaze of glory, and because people predicted that – which is NOT a bad thing! It just means you’re telling your story well! – they took a hard left. Steve Rogers was a man out of his time, and his narrative told us time and time again he struggled with his life without a war. He needed the fight, that was his purpose. And his purpose should have ended with that final snap.

Instead, because movies want to be edgy and unpredictable, they ruined the narrative of Tony Stark and the final snap kills him. It’s horrific to watch. His last audible words are “I am Iron Man” and his last mumbled words are “Hey, babe” to Pepper. He gurgles blood out of his mouth, his brain is melting from the sheer power of the stones, Peter legit just sobs over him and he dies after Pepper feeds him some poetic, flowery shit about “You can rest now.”

This would be an immensely touching moment if it weren’t telling the audience that death is rest and the only way Tony could rest is if he died. First and foremost, I’m sorry, I do not consider death to be rest. Death is the end of existence. And Tony Stark had plenty of opportunities to rest without death. But the Russo Brothers decided 5 years of happiness was enough for him (when honestly, was it truly happiness? We all know he was harboring guilt from the Decimation and still mourning Peter) so they gave him those 5 years and then killed him off.

Between Thor, Natasha, and Tony, the MCU has taken society’s fight against the stigma on mental health back like, 25 years. Their answer to those who have mental trauma is to make fat jokes or kill them because that’s the only way they’ll be at peace. I guess this means Spidey is next, because there’s no way a 17 year old teenager is walking way from that without some serious PTSD.

Just by watching it I have PTSD.

I’m just not even touching this one in full extent. I’m sure other people will say it better than me and already have. All I will say is this: The past 11 years of film and subsequently the collective narrative told over the course of 22 films created a purpose for each of these two characters — Tony Stark struggled to move on from the fight, to truly let go of being Iron Man and retire. Steve Rogers struggled with his place in the world, moving on from Peggy Carter and finding purpose in fighting the battles that needed won.

Tony Stark deserved an ending of retirement, or even semi-retirement, perhaps taking on an advisory role at Shield. It would show the audience that sometimes you shouldn’t fight what feels natural within yourself, and Tony had a natural urge to be involved in this superhero life. He still could be, from afar, like a new Nick Fury.

And Steve Rogers, a man out of his time, deserved to win that battle in the blaze of glory, laying down his life for the other half of the universe. I really can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel cheated for not seeing his death.

The Russo Brothers got this wrong. And shame one everyone who supported them along the way. These character’s had arcs established for many films prior to this and with a “5 Years Later” cue card all that just goes out the window.

Tony’s funeral exists solely for the purpose of doing a slow pan shot of a ton of faces standing around somberly. As an Irondad&Spiderson fan, it hurt to see Peter directly behind Pepper, Rhodey, Steve and Happy. May looked to be the same age/not aged up so I have to assume she got dusted as well. And since I’m being honest here: I know a lot of people fawn over Harley and Tony, but him being there made little to no sense to me. Plus, 95% of the audience didn’t even know who he was.

But again, this scene exists solely so we can show a bunch of big name faces at once, the big “group shot” that’s been spoken about so much during the hype of this movie. Even General Ross is there, the little fucker.

And to be even more of a bitter little sarcastic ass — the sailing away of his first arc reactor was sweet, truly, it was. But I look at that lake surrounding their cabin and think…it’s just gunna float around out there, making it’s laps around the cabin. I’d hate to be Pepper, waking up one morning and seeing it near the front porch. Unless they go and collect it once everyone leaves…I dunno, fuck, I just don’t even like thinking about this part of the film. It all played out like so much fanfiction I’ve read waiting for this movie. This just wasn’t supposed to be the movies ending, I really can’t say that enough.

Clint and Wanda have a moment that, I suppose, is there to tell us they’re grieving over Nat and Vision. It all felt like cheap throw away lines. Natasha deserved so much more than that, and hell, so did Vision. And hell, so did half of Asgard, and Loki, and all the people who died because of The Decimation.

But it’s okay. Steve’s going to return the stones back to their proper timelines, as promised to The Ancient One, and with that opportunity of time travel he’s going to give the middle finger to the remaining team members he has by staying back in time and “living some of that life Tony told him to get.” How, you ask? By using his other hand to give his other middle finger to the life Peggy Carter established long after him, with a husband and children and a career at SHIELD, so he can marry her.

😑

Imma be honest, when I first watched this movie, it was the cheeseburger line that really broke me. Up til that very moment, I held strong. I ignored all the shitty jokes, the shitty unraveling of character development, the shitty use of time travel, the shitty death of Tony Stark – I ignored it all. For some reason, the cringey-as-fuck “Your father liked cheeseburgers. I’ll get you all the cheeseburgers you want.” line just broke me. It read so much like badly written fanfiction that to sound like the obnoxious white girl I am, I couldn’t even anymore.

But once this scene hit, I was done. This was my “Nah, fuck this movie.” moment. This was my “I absolutely do not accept this” moment. This was when I walked out of the theaters, not waiting for an end credit scene that didn’t even exists anyway, or the credits of all the actors who’ve been in the MCU since 2008. I walked out the moment that dance ended, furious. And honestly, sticking around for that montage the second time around was rough. The anger hadn’t gone away yet.

So, to sum up? Avengers: Endgame played out like a fans poorly written, rushed, badly scripted fanfiction. But that fan had only watched Infinity War and read a couple of fanfictions afterward to get the gist on how to even write in the first place.

I’ve defended the MCU up until this moment. I know a lot of people jumped ship after Civil War; clearly the Russo Brothers were doing something wrong then. But they absolutely destroyed the universe with this movie to the likes that I’ve personally never seen before. What should have been a proper send off for characters (death or no death) ended up being a laughable joke of bad script writing, poor treatment to characters who had been around for a decade, and an idiotic usage of time travel.

Doctor Strange saw 14 million futures. In my head, Endgame was merely one of their lost battles. In my head, I have disowned this movie from the franchise. And while I will always be a Marvel fan, I’m likely done with the MCU moving forward in this odd universe of 2023. It’s just sad that I have to say goodbye with such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Thankfully, that’s what fannon and fandom is for.

[ofcnoel]

               𝓻𝓪𝓺'𝓼 ( 𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 )  𝓹𝓵𝓸𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 002

        hey y’all  it’s  me,  lowering the bar  for  us  all.  as usual  let  me  know  if  i  missed  anything  cause  to  no  one’s  surprise : i’m  dumb !  now  that  i  have  4  muses  i  wanna  like,,,, make  sure  i  have  a  good  amount  of  plots  for  each  one  sooooo don’t  mind  me  if  i  roll  up  demanding  attention.  alright, bye love u plot with me pls imma do replies now

𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖 ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥  /  24

leigh-anne pinnock. cisfemale.  she/her.  ／  billie prescott  just pulled up blasting girls need love by summer walker — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-four year old singer, i’ve heard they’re really pessimistic,  but that they make up for it by being so audacious. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say small forgotten &  meaningless tattoos, patron filled shot glasses, and texts left on read . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! (  it’s me raq im sorry u have to see 4 muses from me )

intro  here

pinterest tba

vc: little mix  //  leigh-anne pinnock ( * possibly summer walker im. still debating ) 

tl;dr :  her  parents  were  divorced,  which  sent  her  into  a  crazy  phase  of  running  away  and  not  trusting  anyone  around  her.  her  father  gave  up  on  her,  she  hates  her  mother  –  her  grandfather  billy  is  the  only  person  who  seemed  to  continue  to  care  and  support  her .  she’s  still  quite  untrusting,  her  best  defense  mechanism  being  sarcasm  and  a  little  bit  of  coldness.  she’s  not  the  best  lover  cause  she  doesn’t  believe  in  all  that  but  she  is  a  rather  loyal  friend.  if  you  know  any  of  my  older  muses  she’s,,, a  margo  lite.  margo  with  some  goals  and  direction .

current  connections :  

best  friends :  girls  of  equilibrium,  harris,  milena ,  kami 

i-- lmao that’s it i’m working on the rest

wanted  connections: 

party  friends 

bad influences on her

good  influences on her

people she’s a bad influence on

someone  new  to  the  industry  that  she’s  protective  over

casual  flings

exes 

anything pls

𝔻𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘  /  23

 normani. cis-female. she/her. ／  dove darling just pulled up blasting pressing me by rico nasty — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty three year old actress/musician, i’ve heard they’re really stubborn, but that they make up for it by being so vivacious . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say early 2000s r&b playlists, princess cut diamonds, and shiny lipgloss over perfectly lined lips . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

intro here.

pinterest tba.

vc:  doja  cat  &  normani

she’s  a  hollywood  starlite  but  also  kinda  a  meme.  daughter  of  an  actor  and  a  socialite  –  dove  comes  from  bunches  of  money.  she’s  a  bit  spoiled,  but  that  doesn’t  really  make  her  any  less  friendly.  tends  to  expect  people  to  like  her  cause  she’s  so  good  at  pretending.  still,  she  balances  that  with  being  genuine.  often  described  as  surprisingly  quirky in  the  media  dove  is   honestly  too  fucking  silly  for  her  own  good.   probably  anime  trash  on  the  low.  your pr  team’s  wet  dream  thanks  to  her  squeaky  clean  public  reputation .   just  because  she’s  never  been  caught  doing  something  bad –  definitely  does  not  mean  she’s   an  angel  by  any  means.  

current connections:

best / close  friends:  marnie,  kaia ,  maeve,  parker, jack,  allie, ashley , 

current  pr boyfriend :  brodie

childhood best friend: milena

ex on good terms:  rhett  

exes on bad terms: harris

flirtationship:  logan

party friends: angel

ex fiance: harris

wanted connections:

party friends aka people dove really only hangs with in passing,  usually  after  a  few  drinks .

ex on bad terms  there  probably  aren’t  many  of  these !  but,  give  her  one  that  just  really doesn’t  like  her  bc  they  dated  after  her  engagement  was  called  off and she  was  more  emotionally  unavailable  than  ever.

ex pr relationships:  self  explaintory  but,  i’d  like  to  see maybe  one where they  fell for  her  and  she’s  like “lmao this is fake… relax.”

enemies ! the more the better to balence out how many friends she has skajafs

anything else!

ℕ𝕠𝕖𝕝 𝕃𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 / 22

―   chance perdomo. he/him. cismale.  ／  noel laurent  just pulled up blasting a boy is a gun by tyler, the creator  — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-two year old rapper, i’ve heard they’re really reckless, but that they make up for it by being so altruistic. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say rolled up sleeves on an oversized sweater, missed 2am calls, messy notebooks filled with lyrics. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

intro here

pinterest tba

vc: kevin abstract

aka   gay   panic .  my mother  trucking  baby.  period.  too  kind  to  ever  really  stand  up  for  himself.  my  one muse  that  is  definitely  a  pacifist  and  avoids  confrontation  at  all  costs  – unless you’re  coming  for  someone  he  loves. ( but tbh even  then  he  doesn’t  really  want  smoke sgkads)   literally  just  a  sweet  boy. super  soft  inside  and  out,  loyal  to  a  fault,  and  overall  well meaning.   nurturer /  dad  friend .  will  often  ignore  his  own  problems  simply  for  what  he  thinks  is  the  greater  good  of  his  friends.  selfless  to  a  fault.   tendency  to  fall  into  bad  situations  thanks  to  his  reckless  nature  and  inability  to  say  no.

current  connections:

best  /  close  friends:  malachi,  future  iridescence  boys,  milena,  brodie,  maeve, marnie, 

neighbor /  light  meaningless  admiration / neighbors : harris

complicated not ( but definitely ) boyfriend: scout

weird terms: samyr 

he’s  scared  of  them: parker lmao

past  hookups: valentina

friendzoned  friends :  kaia

sister: hallie 

wanted  connections:

more  of  the  irridesence  boys  ( deadass  the  next  person  who  brings  one  of  them  will  get  free  dash  icons  from  me.  any  style.  i’m  begging.  bribery?  it  works !  )

unlikely  friends !

exes  on  bad  terms  and  good   terms.

people  he  produces  for .

anything  else  your  sweet  lil  head  desires !

𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕊𝕥.𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 / 23

luke hemmings. cismale. he/him. ／  scotty  st.james  just pulled up blasting despicable by grandson — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really  detached ,but that they make up for it by being so venturesome . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say old guitars, the smell of cigarettes and bourbon, and hundred dollar bills thrown in the air . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( it’s me! the raq )

intro

pinterest here

vc: 5sos /  luke hemmings

a  hot…. mess  tbh.  scott’s   been  through  so  much  so  he’s  really  guarded ,  over  protective ,  and self  loathing  as  hell.  tendency  to  keep  everyone  at  an  arms  length  unless   you’re  someone  very  special  to  him  and  does  not  deal  well  with  whatever  he  deems  betrayal.  though,  that  doesn’t  stop  him  from  being  an  absolute  buffoon  when  it  comes  to  seriously  committing. as  a  side  effect  though,  if  you’re  on  the  list  of  people  he  really  fucks  with  he  will  fight  for  you.  also,  will  fight  cause  he’s  short  tempered  and  shit  at  expressing  himself.   really  fears  abandonment   seriously.  lowkey  scared  of  the  dark  eye – :( he’s  such  a  sweet  boy  on  the  inside  but  outwardly  a  prick  like  99.9% of  the  time.

current  connections:

best  /  good  friends:  brodie ,  harris ,   maeve ,   gus  and  parker

enemies:  angel / harris

acquaintances ( aka  friends  but  he’s  too  much  of  a  dick  to  claim  them ):   ashley,   kaia??

his sister but he doesn’t know it :  ashley 

ex on  really  bad  terms:  genevieve /  marnie

adoptive sibling: stas, scout 

childhood  girlfriend  /  something  really  complicated :  maeve

wanted  connections:

unrequited crush on him because im sure he milked that bc he wants affection w/o the commitment

party “friends”  friends  is  so  loose because  he…  never  calls  more than like 4  ppl  his  friend  but  he  treats  them  like  friends akass

a very  bad ex  pr  relationship  that  he  publicly  cheated  on  so  they  could  end  things  because  he  literally  can’t  fucking  stan  pr  shit akjdfas

neighbors !

an enemies with  benefits Perhaps? dont see that going further than they bicker but also smash ig sakfdjafd

anything else !

[maddie-grove]

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff. 

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster. 

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind),  does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart. 

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all. 

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story). 

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

[fieldbears]

Siren - the soft queer poly diverse mermaid show I had never heard of

So I am going to start yelling about Siren because I have seen/heard very little hype for this show and I think a lot of people would like it... here we go. I’m on the 4th episode. You can watch this on Hulu. 

Would you like to watch a fun kissy mermaid show? Do you love a strong cast of supporting actors from various backgrounds who have been underappreciated by Hollywood? Did you love The Fifth Element’s Leeloo but wish she wasn’t so selectively helpless toward the end?

First warning: some of the acting is Lacking. I will not name names. But it’s important to note that someone VERY wisely decided that if their white male protagonist was not going to be extremely talented at Tones and Expressions, the least they could do would be to take a page from Teen Wolf’s book and make him the softest, goodest boy who drinks his Respects Women Juice with every meal. Ben starts out as a generic American dude but is slowly revealed to be curious, EXTREMELY forgiving, and very empathetic.

Second warning: a lot of the plot reads like fanfic. But ... woke fanfic. Hold on, I can explain: in the first episode, our Everyman is driving down a winding road when he spots a Mysterious Naked Girl stumbling around, lost, who then FAINTS. I think that’s bingo already, right? But here’s the thing - this show embraces a lot of fun cliches but, so far, abandons the problematic shitty ones. Ben, the Everyman? 0% skeeve, 0% male gaze. The helpless moment for the Mysterious Girl? That’s really the last time we see her be defenseless. Even when she’s clearly Lost or Confused, she still keeps her agency, picking up new information and making the most informed decisions she can; she’s also perfectly capable of dealing with anyone who threatens her.

(Which, TW for anyone who does not feel comfortable seeing an attempted rape scene: she takes a ride with a strange guy who seems nice at first, and it goes badly for him. If you want to skip past it, all you need to know is that he tries to take some liberties and she literally eviscerates him and throws him through the windshield. She moves on immediately and clearly has no remorse of any kind about what she did to protect herself.)

Third final warning, pretty mild: the Generic Bad Guy Military is out to experiment on the mermaids! Their facilities are... poorly designed! Their protocols are ... unclear! Their opsec is.... nonexistent??? The actors playing high-ranking military personnel are... not well suited for the parts they’re playing! This warning is really only for people who cringe at lack of trigger discipline in films, or otherwise know just enough about weapons or US Military Stuff to see when something isn’t well researched. But they’re more of a vehicle for plot, and so it’s easy not to sweat it too much.

Now on to the positives. I have many more positives than I do warnings.

The mermaids look fucking rad. I’m sorry, but I’m opening with this. The notes were clearly “realistic, but also gorgeous, and also predatory as fuck.” Look:

For a narrative with so many opportunities for dumb choices, they never Split the Party or Go Investigate That Weird Noise. We’ve got a cast of mostly young adults, none of whom have the full picture of what’s going on, but even the two Cliche Dude Bros have real scenes of discussing their feelings! Working out their misunderstandings! Doing their best to trust each other! It’s extremely refreshing - so far the various tensions aren’t brought on by needless lack of communication or love of drama.

Speaking of lack of drama, I have been holding onto this long enough, they are setting up a poly triad and I am fucking here for it. The two main human protagonists are dating, and work at a marine biology center together. As they learn more about Mysterious Girl together, they both become closer to her. Without spoiling anything major, there have been some scenes that are very clearly laying the groundwork for Clear Consent and Lack of Jealousy - this human couple has a healthy relationship and while plot is definitely happening very constantly and very loudly, there is an undercurrent of, this Mysterious Girl? This extremely pretty, extremely fascinating Mysterious Girl? Seems to like us? Both of us? Her cheekbones are unreal and we don’t know how to deal with this yet? It’s very sweet.

This show has real parts for extremely underappreciated POC actors. I haven’t seen Fola in anything before, which is criminal, not just because I’m extremely gay for her but because I want to see how her performance changes when she isn’t concentrating on an American accent. Gil Birmingham, who you definitely recognize on sight if not by name, plays her father, a competent (!!) sheriff who is clearly a good man (!!!!) and so far is getting a lot of screen time as he investigates Mysterious Things. You also know Patrick Gallagher, who plays the level-headed local doctor who Can Absolutely Tell Something Is Up. Curtis Lum and Ian Verdun play the dudebros, and Rena Owen plays a local weird lady and gets to use her own accent. Lastly, Sibongile Mlambo plays a Second Mysterious Girl, who is coming into the narrative more as we go on. I’M NOT EVEN NAMING ALL OF THEM. The white people are, off the top of my head, Ben Softboy Protag, his shitty family, and... most of the government folks? Of those, Softboy Protag is the only one with significant screen time.

And let’s talk interpersonal roles. So far, the show follows Ben the most, but it’s fairly clear so far that the show isn’t interested in establishing him as The Leader. There’s a vague Scooby Gang coming together, only two of whom are white men, and nobody’s taking on a leading role so much as negotiating and discussing what is best in These Mysterious Circumstances. I have so far gotten no Black Best Friend vibes and I am hopeful moving forward.

Also, not much is made of the fact that Ben is dating a WOC. His mom has made one shitty comment about how he always liked the ‘wild’ ones, but it’s unclear if that’s because Maddie... has tattoos? Isn’t rich? The mom is clearly set up to have shitty opinions, so the line is definitely a reflection on her and not on Maddie or the relationship. Also, and I realize how low this bar is, but: Maddie has Native American ancestry on her father’s side, and this is made clear without any unnecessary mysticism, cliche music in the background, anything. There are points where her knowledge of myths leads to interesting dialogue, but it’s not presented in... you know... that way?

That’s what I have so far. Yeah. Hulu.

[trinuviel]

ALL IS SUBTEXT – A Case for Jon and Sansa (part 2)

This is the second part of a series where I’ll take a look at the odd romantic tension that permeates the scenes between Jon and Sansa in seasons 6 and 7. In my previous post, I made the argument that there is indeed a romantic subtext in the show when it comes to the relationship between Jon and Sansa – an argument supported by the observations of professional entertainment writers.

The remainder of this series of metas will be devoted to analyzing exactly how the show establishes this subtle and romantic subtext between the two characters. However, first we need to ask the following question:

What is subtext?

Briefly put, “subtext” is content that is articulated beneath the surface of the text! Thus, is plays out underneath the dialogue. It is a set of meanings that are not made explicit through dialogue or surface description.

This means that a subtext easily can be overlooked by the audience – either because the audience doesn’t engage critically with the text or it only pays attention to the surface of things – or because preconceived notions make people blind to the subtext in question. The latter aspect certainly comes into play when it comes to Jon and Sansa since they have been presented to us as a pair of half-siblings, albeit ones with a very distant sibling relationship that the audience never got to witness before their reunion.

Subtext was originally a literary term but it pertains to other forms of storytelling. In fact, I’d claim that it is a concept that is especially well-suited for television and cinema since a subtext can be articulated on a pure visual and auditory level. 

If the subtext works exclusively on the visual level then it is much easier to overlook because people often consume visuals uncritically.

The audience often pays more attention to the spoken dialogue while also enjoying grand visual spectacle whereas the more subtle issues of mise-en-scene (stage setting), framing, editing, non-verbal acting, etc. often are overlooked.

In Game of Thrones, the romantic subtext between Jon and Sansa plays out entirely on the visual level! The scenes between the two characters has already been dissected minutely in the fandom and I doubt that my conclusions about individual scenes cover any new ground. Rather, I’ll attempt to analyze exactly HOW the show establishes a possibly romantic subtext between Jon and Sansa. What kind of techniques of visual story-telling does the show employ?

READING FACES

How do we discern what the characters feel in cinema and television, especially if they don’t explicitly voice those feelings? We discern emotion by reading faces and body language. This isn’t just confined to cinema and television. We do this every time we interact with another human being. However, a important part of visual story-telling rests upon the audience reading non-verbal cues from the actors. In fact, it is an aspect of visual story-telling that has been used for centuries. Thus, in the 17th century the French artist Charles le Brun (court painter to Louis XIV) created The Expressions of the Passions, a codified system that matched specific emotions with very specific facial expressions along with directions on how to draw/paint said expressions:

(Charles le Brun, Tearfulness, 1688)

In modern cinema and television, the non-verbal expression of emotion rests upon the ability of the actors and the use of close-ups.

However, reading faces can be tricky – especially if the non-verbal cues are subtle. Furthermore, our wishes and prejudices can get in the way of a correct reading, either because we want to see certain things or because we don’t want to acknowledge something that makes us uncomfortable. I’ll not dispute that many of Jon and Sansa’s scenes can be difficult to read for subtext for exactly this reason, especially because the scenes are somewhat ambiguous.

MTV’s Rachel Handler found the fireside scene between Jon and Sansa in episode 4 (season 6) rather flirty. This interpretation is hotly contested within the fandom with one side denying any flirty vibe whereas another side firmly believes that it is there.

The scene in question is playful and sweet – but is it low-key flirty? Is there an odd romantic subtext to this scene that on the surface looks like a moment of bonding between a pair of previously distant half-siblings? In order to answer this question, I’ll engage in a little experiment. First, let us look at the scene in real time:

Then let us take a look at the scene as it is broken down into individual shots through this series of GIFs:

(GIFs by @timothchallamet)

A lot of people have tried to explain away any odd romantic vibes between Jon and Sansa as the result of chemistry between the actors. There’s no denying that Kit Harington and Sophie Turner have great on-screen chemistry, which is partly due to them being close friends in real life. However, what many people fail to realize is that “chemistry” between actors is always framed for the audience through various cinematic techniques. It isn’t unmediated! First of all, you have to take the mise-en-scene into account, i.e. the stage-setting, lighting and the blocking (the positioning and the movements of both the actors and the camera in a scene). The hearth fire and the soft candle light sets an intimate mood that is underscored by the fact that Sansa wears Jon’s clothes (trousers and his season 1 cloak).

Furthermore, any “chemistry” between the actors isn’t just captured by the camera and then transmitted unfiltered to the audience – the footage isn’t presented to “raw”. There are several processes in play between the actual filming and the finished product – the editing is an incredibly important aspect of film-making and the editing can influence the meaning of scene greatly.

To continue my little experiment, let us see what happens if I remove a couple of shots from the fireside scene:

What a difference a little editing makes! The shot that adds a flirty vibe to the whole is exchange is this little gem:

This single shot contains two non-verbal cues that can be interpreted as flirty: The licking of the lips and the way she lifts her gaze, looking at him from beneath her eyelashes. Both elements are common romantic tropes, both in literature and cinema.

FRAMING AND EDITING

Another scene that has a strong romantic vibe is the scene on the battlements in the last episode of season 6 where Jon places a tender kiss on Sansa’s forehead. Is this scene platonic or is it borderline romance? During the course of the seasons, the audience have been presented with a number of forehead kisses – between parent and child:

Between a romantic couple:

Between siblings:

The latter example is particularly interesting in the context of the forehead kiss between Jon and Sansa since the show has Viserys express an openly incestuous interest in his sister Daenerys. In a scene before this one, Viserys fondles his sister’s naked breast yet the way he kiss Dany on the forehead is decidedly more platonic than the when Jon does the same with Sansa.

In all of these examples, the forehead kiss is contained within a single shot and with a limited use of close-ups. The forehead kiss between Jon and Sansa is shot, acted and edited in a markedly different manner than all of the other forehead kisses in the show. It is a fairly long scene (10 seconds from the moment Jon touches Sansa’s face to the moment he disengages) and so is the kiss itself (4 seconds) and it involves more than one frame with shifting close-ups of Jon and Sansa, registering their expressions and thus turning this simple act into an emotionally laden character moment between them. This alone gives the scene a narrative weight that all the other forehead kisses lack. It isn’t just a random sign of affection but rather an intensely meaningful moment between Jon and Sansa.

But is it romantic? Let’s repeat the experiment from above with the JonSa forehead kiss:

(GIFs by @hollywood-movies-and-tv-fanatics)

Now let’s see what happens if I remove some of the frames:

This is just to show that if the scene had been edited differently, it could have been shorter and the emotional “tone” rather different. There is one particular shot that lends this scene a decidedly romantic vibe:

(GIF by @akscully)

The way that Jon tilts his head and leans in makes it look like he’s about to plant a kiss on her lips. It is subtle but it is there and you have to wonder why this particular shot was chosen. 

It is important to remember that they film several takes of each and every shot that appear in the finished product that we see on the screen – and several people are involved in what the final product looks like: the showrunners, the director and the editor. Thus, this particular shot was seen and approved by several people and I seriously doubt that all of them were blind to the non-verbal nuances and the romantic vibe they convey. If you still doubt that this shot could be interpreted as romantic, then it is a good idea to compare it with scenes from other productions where the actor (Kit Harington) acted in explicitly romantic scenes. Luckily there’s a good example from the movie Pompeii:

(GIFs by @tiny-little-bird)

I rest my case.

To be continued…