#mans cant even broom without being furious about it he has zero muscles lmao

[swiiivet-screamathon]

"Ah-- shit shit shit-- Milky I need a hand--!"

"What have gotten you so bold now then?"

"I don't have time for your snark-- just come help!!"

"Or else?"

"You're responsible for cleaning up two 10 kilos worth of wafflebot ingredients--"

"This problem isn't my fault! Can't just put that on me, tut tut."

"I thoroughly do not ca-- arGH-!!!! Get down here!!!"

"Fine, fine, what do you need?"

"That crank, pull it now, as hard as you can--"

He raises his staff--

"No no, not magic, it will break it all--!"

"Huh? How the hell is that supposed to work?"

"STOP ASKING AND PULL IT--"

He floats down and apprehensively grabs onto it.

"HURRY!??"

He gives a glare to Crepe, but pulls it... And tries again-- whoo-wee is he going for it.

"Holy-- Okay just magic this thing up, be careful and do not move it at all."

Smilk glares again at Crepe but lets go, and does way wave his wand-- a set of strings get summoned that holds the collapsing wafflebot in place and Crepe quickly sprints over to pull the lever, that pulls with no resistance whatever. With the switch it enables some mobile poles that hold up the machine.

"Phew-- wait hold on-- no don't leave I know you're about to. I'm not judging you."

"I think you should be grateful enough that I saved your little project regardless of your earlier audacity."

"I am, I really am, genuinely thank you for helping me. But apparently there's some safety hazards that needs to be discussed if you don't want me to kick you out."

"... You dare threaten me?"

"It's not a threat, it's for everyone's safety here-- There's a lot of physical work that goes on here, if something falls on you and you can't lift it off you that's a hazard that PV will never let go. This is essentially a construction zone, you know that right?"

"I've got no reason to stay here if you want to follow through with it. In fact I can level this entire place if I'd so choose."

"Sigh, look, I know you're a secretive stubborn twat, but if you didn't want to be here we wouldn't have constructed an entire floating capsule for you to live in, so I have to do my due diligence to make sure no work accidents occur, or else we both get kicked out. Do you have a physical disability?"

"And here I thought you good guys would have more-- tact, than that."

"Shadow Milk, I know you like avoiding personal questions but this one has to be answered today; do you want me to go tell Vanilla to get you to talk or will you answer me right now?"

"... Not what I'm aware."

"Okay, so your inability to pull a very light and greased lever is just a lack of exercise?"

"There's no point in putting any effort in your physicality when you're baked immortal and can solve all your problems with magic. That's something you mortals have to contend with, not me."

"Well that lever is made with magichanical engineering just like most of the equipment in here, where if affected by uncalculated magic will screw with its wiring and make it unable to control its items as precisely as it currently does, so you're gonna have to do some physical stuff in the world ever."

"Last I checked I still wasn't employed here to do your petty work."

"Breathe in, breathe out-- Okay, how about we take this another avenue; do you want such an obvious weakness where if I throw a rock at the back of your head you're out cold?"

"And you think I'm so blind with my multitudes of eyes that I can't see you revving up your wafflebot to throw one at me to prove your puny point?"

"Eugh, your confidence is going to get you killed-- I'm just considering getting him anyways, he'd get through this layer of ego and I wouldn't have to waste my entire afternoon on this when I should be fixing what broke my machine in the first place. Look, you can be physically weaker than the average cookie and not be weak overall, I am very much willing to admit you've got a good head for magic, certainly better than the 'prodigies' from the school, I'm not judging you for struggling in this avenue."

"Curious how you believe it's ego that's making me not want to do your labor for you."

"And here I was suspecting you just wanted to get paid to do the-- eugh, """puny""" labor. I mean it's obvious you're here for a reason, if you weren't you wouldn't be here, anyone with half a brain could figure that one out, yet it's also something you're not willing to just not say outright. I doubt it's embarrassment, you don't get embarrassed, you just get annoyed-- it really does feel like it's your ego, that you're the Beast of Deceit, so you have to be all macho all the time retaining a mystery because what else beyond that is a better lie? It'd be a lot more appreciated if analysing your dough answered these questions, simply knowing you're full of knowledge does nothing to help with your stubbornness."

"D'aw, do you really think that lowly of me?-" Suddenly a marionette's control bar appears above Crepe and the strings ties itself around their limbs, lifting them off the ground-- much to Crepe's complete disappointment. Though it seems that they shuffle strangely underneath their coat.

"-Believing me to be a petulant child who's roleplaying out their fantasies? What could I possibly have done to give you such a view of me?"

"This isn't exactly helping your case. Why haven't you left yet?"

"Out of the two of us I'd describe you as the petulant one, trying your best to squeeze an answer out of me, such patheticism is entertainment."

"I think I'm being quite reasonable trying to get neither of us evicted, though if the only reason you're sticking around is to watch me be mad then maybe I should go tell Vanilla that you're no good fit here."

"It is true that eventually your absence would be noticed, and who else would be the bigger suspect; but that only matters if I care to be a criminal to this floating rock, doesn't it?"

"You're gonna threaten to crumble me over trying to determine whether you can lift a twig? Real slick there, bluey."

"Of course not! One of us actually has some tact, you know. I've got far better means to ensure things go my way."

"For as long as I've known you I cannot say I could even fathom what 'your way' is supposed to look like, your motives aren't exactly consistent."

"You were right with one thing, I am the Beast of Dec--ough--!"

Suddenly Smilk is ensnared into bindings made of golden scrolls, where he looks down to see what occurred only to become immediately disappointed and glare at Crepe.

"I've got him Crepe! Land safely!" Crepe's own puppet strings poofs into the ether and Crepe themself falls to the ground yet lands without any damage.

"Took your time, that's for sure."

"I know, I'm sorry, but are you harmed?"

"No I'm good. No, this wasn't really an emergency at all, sorry for alarming you but I needed you here quickly to settle a thing."

"Huh? Settle a thing? What's with the puppeteering then?"

"I just wanted a better look at them! Land bound cookies are so difficult to keep eye contact with. We were having a civil discussion"

"He threatened to 'make me absent' so that he wouldn't have to confront you."

"Are you pushing Shadow beyond his boundaries?"

"Well his boundaries are a workplace hazard and if I want to keep my workshop I need to get some answers out of him."

"Okay, before we get explanations to catch me up, are you going to threaten Crepe again, Shadow?"

"It wasn't a threat, just playing around."

"No playing around either?"

"If you're currently threatening me with these bindings what choice do I have?"

"I'll take that as enough of a yes." The bindings unfurl and dissipate into golden sparkles, letting Smilk stretch his newly freed limbs.

"I want to hear Crepe's telling first, and then yours Smilk, any objections?"

"If you insist."

"Before I start, can you go pull that lever?"

As asked, Pv walks over to the pointed lever and does indeed pull it, where one of the wafflebots legs raise up into the air.

"One of the supports holding my wafflebot collapsed and fell on me, so because I was busy trying to not get crushed to crumbs I asked Milk to pull the lever to get a new support, but he could not pull it. Once it was sorted and fixed I asked him about it since being unable to pull it is a sign of extreme physical weakness, and knowing the stipulations for me staying in my workshop I needed answers that he's been avoiding continuously."

"And is your telling different from theirs?"

"I wouldn't exactly define it as avoiding."

"You've not answered me at all!"

"It's his turn to speak."

"... Fine."

"I'm neither a huge fan of you treating us like children settling a meaningless argument, calling mom was entirely unnecessary."

"I'm not quite sure how else to handle the situation, I apologize. But if they are speaking the truth I have to admit I am concerned. Can you really not pull that lever?"

"The writer and ringleader has no need to deal with the activities the rest of the troupe employs, my job is to direct, not anything like that."

".. Crepe? Can you promise you won't tell anyone about what you witnessed today for Shadow's sake?"

"I couldn't give any less of a shit about spreading any rumors, that's the easiest promise I can make in my entire life."

"Good, I think you can go then, I'm sure he'd like some seperation right now."

"Why can't you guys just leave my workshop instead of the other way around? Eugh, yeah sure, don't break anything. T_T"

...

"If you don't mind me asking, can you stand for me? On the ground."

It's just barely noticeable that he seemed taken aback by the sudden request.

"What, don't want me to bring you to my eyelevel too?"

"No, I want to see you walk around the room."

"Do you really think I'm so weak I can't even do that?"

"Well if you can then it should be simple to prove me wrong, to rub it in my face about how wrong my inquiry was, shouldn't it?"

"Hmh..."

He floats down to the ground and lands as indicated by a subtle sound, though to the most observant it seemed unsteady.

"You want me to go down the catwalk now? Wanna watch me pose while you're at it?"

"However you want to interpret 'walking around the room whilst on the ground' is good, I don't need poses."

"I didn't think I'd ever get to see you this sick..."

He does as requested, taking a prance around the room, but with each step it becomes clearer and clearer that it's a struggle with every foot that goes past the other, getting wobblier and wobblier. Once a circle has been met he swiftly returns into the air.

"There we are, fulfilled your fantasies now? Gonna sleep well tonight?"

"I can't believe I never noticed your ailment, I'm not sure what to say. My first instinct is to ask whether you want me to see if you can be healed or helped."

"My ailment? I don't have any ailment, besides a headache from this entire thing."

"Are you lying by omission again or do you really not know that's not normal? Every cookie I know who can fly can also walk just fine, no struggle at all."

"Sounds pathetic to me."

"Sigh, Crepe was right you know. Staying in here whilst being so weak endangers everyone, you included. You may be immortal but you are still fragile, you know I know that. I can do my best to help you regain some of that strength though if you want the help."

"... What'd that look like?"

"A variety of things, but probably first establishing if you've always been this way, or if this is a deterioration."

"I've not deteriorated."

"... But?"

"... A library doesn't shelve itself."

"I see. Well, either we could investigate your dough to see if anything is fundamentally wrong, or we can go straight into very basic exercises to get your body back into the idea of being used again."

"You will not get me on some regimen. >:I"

"Then I won't suggest it, but something has to be done if you want to stay here in the workshop, even if it isn't some scheduled rigorous thing. We can try something here right now though, come here."

He quietly and apprehensively floats back over, where Pv takes each of his hands into his own.

"Stand again."

He looks to the ground, his feet dangling in the air, but after a moment steps back down again.

"If you need to you can put all your weight on me, you won't fall."

"Of course I won't fall, I can fly."

"Well, I won't drop you either way."

A couple seconds passes, he already seems to struggle staying in one place. A minute passes, he's starting to shuffle his feet to regain balance. Another minute, and he gives up, floating back into the air, ripping his hands away from Pv.

"Walking was easier than standing, wasn't it?"

"..."

"It seems that will be our benchmark for now. My deepest gratitude that you were willing to commit to that, I'm proud of you."

"... (> _눈。)"