#mannnnn was this good garbage

[jlf23tumble]

I’ve been waiting for this episode all week, and let me just say, I was NOT disappointed, and the fact that it carries into tomorrow? BRING IT (it’s a garbage show aimed at getting viewers, period, and everyone wants Louis, so ipso facto, if you love him, consider it manna from hell). This one’s for @newleafover​ and @justlarried​, as per usual, but you have no excuses for not watching: it’s a solid 22 minutes of Louis and his team, so go bathe in it, and come yell!

We start with the groups, which is just as well because they’re boring and terrible, but it’s over quickly, so look at it like a shitty appetizer at a decent restaurant. Sure, the bread’s cold and stale, but you KNOW your main course will kick its ass, so you tolerate it. This = same.

These poor British people just want to get sunburned in Santa Monica, but instead, they’re sunburned in…the Hollywood Hills? Meanwhile, I had no clue Take That was so goddamned lucrative:

Ayda randomly walks through the sloppiest bbq footage in celebrity history, but my fave part of Robbie’s house is Robbie’s late-80s Elton John resort wear, I mean, WANT, especially the shorts:

Robbie’s guest judge is David Walliams, who I remember from “Little Britain” and trashy British tabs but who was allegedly voted best celebrity judge in the UK (or so Robbie explains; it makes zero sense otherwise).

God, the groups bore me, so suffice it to say, they all perform, all the white ones are VERY sunburned, and Jesus loves me because not only is Dermot in a fitted striped tee, but he’s in shorts, too, bless:

The good news is that David reveals that this really IS Robbie’s house (assuming you trust him). The bad news is that most of his advice boils down to, “You’ve gotta concentrate on the thing that you can do that nobody else can do because that's the thing that makes you special.” Such wisdom!

But they seem to love each other, even though the banter makes me both ??? and !!!! (David: “They don't quite know who they are yet.” Robbie: “Like me and my sexuality”).

After a night presumably spent deliberating the terrible singing while Dermot lurks and whispers in the backyard, a new day dawns in the Hills, and Robbie puts on a shirt that includes both bananas and flames:

In the end, the full choir is in (whut), A Star is in (OF COURSE, they could be signed tomorrow), Panda and Burgundy are out (for ~reasons that don’t have anything to do with what was said to them), Misunderstood is in (Dermot tells them that he can’t wait to see them live, and they say they “can’t wait to see youuuuuu” as Dermot blushes giddily), Sweet Sense (Spice Girls lite) is out (probably because they murdered One Direction’s “History”), and Vibe 5 (featuring the son of Heath Ledger and Harry Styles) is in, even though they’re weak sauce.

Thank Christ that’s over, and we get to go to Spain—I still laff and laff about this being Louis’s pick over the rest of SoCal, but I love the contrast we get here, with Louis immediately joining his team and engaging in all kinds of bonding activities (his Mario Kart experience finally pays off, lol).

Comrade Louis even breaks bread with the crew in a big group dinner that vaguely feels like an ad for Spain’s tourism board and/or high-end outdoor furniture. He describes being put in a group as his best memory from the show, and it feels like he’s giving that same experience to his team.

Is it cold in Spain? Is it hot? Everyone’s wearing long pants and even jackets/sweaters (including Nile and Liam), but all the white boys are sunburned as all get out.

Anthony freaking out upon meeting Nile and Liam is all of us really. God, just hearing Liam and Louis mildly bicker is such a gale wind of fresh air:

Dermot is lurking in the background as the judges get to work, Dalton being first, and he smiles nervously as he says he’s just “chilling with half of One Direction and a legend.” Nile is a fucking DELIGHT as well as being a legend (stop, don’t call him that). I have no idea how often they hang out, but these two, sighhh, just come hang out on my patio already:

Suffice it to say that all three of these judges give impeccable feedback, and Louis delivers powerful hugs (he’s a better hugger than Dermot, I KNOW, and speaking of Dermot, I have to think he’s happiest at chez Louis, I’m just reading the hugs and chit-chat, don’t @ me).

Armstrong is next, with his extremely soulful version of the “Friends” theme. Nile wasn’t too sure what to make of it, and Liam wasn’t either, but Louis was pleased, so that’s good enough for all of us. 

Can you imagine singing your heart out in front of either of these faces?

I love that as Dermot hugs the performer, the three judges sit there and whisper furiously about what was good/bad, and it’s ALWAYS on point and brief. I’d attend a meeting with any of them, I mean, LOOK:

Tom comes in and blows the roof off, and he’s so sunburned, but Nile’s feeling it from the get go, and then the beat drops, and everyone loves it (Louis’s fierce toe-tap gives me life, I imagine him RUINING dance floors).

J Sol doesn’t want to let Louis down, and he doesn’t. All three judges look like this when he gets up there, so you know that’s a good thing (he’s my fave, so me as all three of ‘em):

Shout out to Harry’s Gucci lion ring, lmao:

Anthony’s next, and we get a brief overview from Louis that sparks a dramatic gasp from Liam (“Ooooohhhh! This is what you told me? Ohhhhhhh” Louis: “Yes, yeah,” i.e., pipe down, Lime). Mark Wahlberg’s British cousin does okay, but his song wasn’t the greatest choice. Still, it sparks a great mentoring flash from Louis, who talks him off the shame spiral ledge BRILLIANTLY. Nile jumps in with a great anecdote about David Bowie, of all people, and honestly, me as Lilo:

Previews for tomorrow are all about Brendan (Brandon? Brendon?) and his red cheeks, and I’m not a fan, but I can’t wait to analyze all of Louis’ micro-expressions. If there’s any justice, he’ll cut Simon’s crush in judges’ houses just like Simon cut Georgia, but this is Simon’s show, so I doubt it.

[emblazcned]

i hope you all realize how terrible you are and how each time i get a reply from any of my partners i’m inclined to immediately go write my reply bc i’m just so inspired and motivated by every response like WOW how dare you. go sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done.

[fanburgers]

@authorchanlove look I know I rant at you about Star Trek all the time, but THIS is why I hold it in such high regard. Star Trek, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager all came from a place of very real human emotions. Fear, hope, love, grief, agony, bliss, things real people feel every day in this era were seen through a sci-fi lens to make them more understandable. Gene Roddenberry was a man who experienced a LOT in his life. And he wanted to share the hope he held onto despite everything. He wanted to both comfort and teach people that things will get better and here’s how we do it. The only show out of those four that wasn’t a utopian setting was DS9, and that was more because people wanted to explore some harsh realities about human nature by putting them against Star Trek ideals in a mature, thought-provoking manner.

Gene Roddenberry made the most important Science Fiction show of all time with no Hollywood background, just years of life experience and passion. Alex Kurtzman has been groomed all his life to be a Hollywood man. Born and raised in LA, went to a prestigious liberal arts school, and has made nothing but schlock and trash. And he’s run the good name of the Enterprise into the dirt by going “brooo what if the Federation was TRUMP mannnnn?? what if like, even though this society in this timeline is literally so advanced they don’t even have currency anymore, we showed a woman living in a dirty 1978 trailer in the 24th century because the federation is TRUMPBREXIT maaaaan?” It’s disgusting and disheartening, but thankfully I don’t have CBS All My Money Down The Toilet Access anymore.

Star Trek:

Space Junk™️®©, Now Streaming On CBS All Garbage

⬆️This one just feels like the writers talking to the audience

It will be ok, as long as we take care of each other. One ship, one crew, Earth and Humanity.

[squishbabi]

I Get You (Chapter 1)

 Jonathan Byers x Reader sheeeeet/garbage

Title : I Get You

(Chapter 1/3)

Chapter 2 : https://at.tumblr.com/squishbabi/i-get-you-chapter-2/a009ocmbdmje

Summary :  Jonathan Byers notices you doodling in class and starts talking to you... then things escalate from there... (bad summary ik)

Note : ik that this fic will not apply to everyone bc the reader is in a band and is multitalented but whateva mannnnn (a little cringe ik)

(btw this was posted on archive of our own : http://archiveofourown.org/works/11827755/chapters/26692284 so yeee)

Words :  1,563

Warning : bad writing srry mang lol

gif not mine | cred to owner

You're sitting in another boring class doodling on your notebook of simple little things you draw now and again while your teacher is lecturing the class about something. You're wishing time would go faster so you can finally go home. The guy who you sit next to, Jonathan, takes a notice of your little doodles and decides to talk to you and compliment your 'artwork'.

"H-hey, that's really good." He says in a low voice.

"Oh, thanks. It's not my best work but I guess it's good enough." you respond with a smile.

You and Jonathan are more acquaintances than classmates (and obviously know each other's name) but never really talked to each other (until now), but you do occasionally smile at him once in while just to be friendly and he always smiles back (but you don’t know how much that makes his day). Recently you've been finding him kind of cute. You don't know why but there's something about him that you like and you're starting to hope he feels the same way. (you do catch him staring at you at times so that gives you a little bit of hope).

"Well, it's way better than if I tried to draw something." Jonathan says with a small laugh.

"Dude at least your photography is bomb compared to mine." you say. Even though you're into photography as well and have taken some pretty nice shots it's nothing compared to Jonathan's work.

"You're just saying that." Jonathan says back while looking down with a soft smile.

"Nah man I'm being serious, you're real good." You assure him.

Jonathan looks back up to you and smiles once again.

By this time the bell rings for lunch so you both gather up your things. Without any thought, you turn to Jonathan and say "Hey so you want to hang out for lunch?"

Jonathan looks up a little surprised. "Are you sure that I'm not going to bother your friends?" He asks and seems a little concerned.

"I barely hang out with them sometimes. They're more like people I work with if anything because they're my band members." (by now both of you are walking out of the classroom, into the hallway and continue walking)

"You're in a band?"

"Yeah. I sing." you say with a small laugh.

Jonathan looking down says with that precious smile "That's really cool. I guess you got more than one talent... I-I would love to see you perform." He kind of mumbled that last part and you almost didn't hear him. "Well we are doing a gig this Friday at a party, I don't know if you know about it."

"Yeah I do, my friends Nancy and Steve told me that I should go and it would be fun. I think it's at Steve’s friend's house."

"Yea it is. You know Steve?" Jonathan nods in response and you continue. "I remember that he told me that his friend wanted us to perform at his party"

"Yeah but I don't know if I want to go or not because I feel like I will feel out of place.. But I don’t know.. It's hard to explain." He says while rubbing the back of his neck looking straight ahead.

"Nah I get you, Jonathan…" you turn your head to look up at him and he's looking at you with the sweetest eyes you've ever seen. You smile, look back in front of you and keep talking. "I get like that too because I'm pretty introverted and different from other people so seeing lots of people I don't know gets me a little anxious. But you should totally come and I think his friend said it was going to be pretty chill so you don’t have to worry too much" you say with a smile.

"Alright."

You both keep walking down the hallways talking about your interests, making small jokes, and Jonathan even felt comfortable talking about everything that happened with his brother Will last year and how Will has been doing really well ever since (you did know a little bit of what happened with Will and how he was ‘the boy who came back to life’ but didn’t really know the full story). The lunch bell rings so you decide to give Jonathan your phone number so you can keep in touch with him.

"Oi, Give me your arm."

"Why?" Jonathan asks a bit confused.

"Imma give you my number and write it on your arm." you say while reaching out to grab his arm with a grabby hand.

Jonathan gives you his arm and almost melts in your touch. He looks you while you write it down. He can look at you for hours. After you are done with that, you start walking away from him to your next class and say "You can call me later today if you want. Bye Jonathan!"

Jonathan waves back at you and whispers “bye” and just stands there watching you until you're out of his sight, then hurries to his next class making sure to be careful with his arm so he won't smudge anything.

Jonathan had a crush on you since the first time he saw you which was last school year. You were a new student to the school and when you walked into that classroom and looked at you, he thought you were the most beautiful girl he ever seen. Unfortunately, you stayed in that class for two days because the school changed your schedule and transferred you out of that class to another, so having two classes with you this school year's semester and one of them having your assigned seat next to his was probably the best thing that happened to him so far. Sometimes if he sees you standing alone outside waiting for your friends or you sitting in your car, he takes a picture of you. He loves everything you do, especially those smiles you give him once in a while, and him having the courage to talk to you and it worked out so well that you even understood how he feels at times.. Can you be even more perfect?

The final bell rings and Jonathan almost bolts and tries his best to go outside to the front of the school to the parking lot to hopefully see you there. Dammit, he was too late because he saw your car driving away. A little disappointed, he proceeds to his car to go pick up Will from school.

They finally arrive home and Joyce is already home and is already making dinner. Will notices the writing on Jonathan's arm.

"What's that?"

"Nothin-"

Will rolls up Jonathan's sleeve anyways and recognizes what it is.

"Who's number is that? Is it from a girl??"

"No, it's nothing, Will. Go to your-"

"It is from a girl, isn't it? HEY MOM!! JONATHAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!"

"Hey stop!" Jonathan says while laughing.

"What?" Joyce yells from the kitchen as Will runs to his room giggling.

Jonathan goes to the kitchen to greet his Mom but she immediately asks while smiling "You have a girlfriend?"

"No mom she's just a friend!"

"So it is a girl?"

"Yes Mom, but it's nothing like that. She just gave me her number that's all."

"Jonathan come on, she gave you her number."

"As a friend! It doesn't mean anything."

"Okay if you say sooo."

(He didn't want to tell his mom how he feels about you because he was afraid that was going to turn into another whole ordeal).

"Do you need help with anything?" Jonathan asks trying to change the subject.

"Yes, can you set up the table?"

"Sure."

After dinner, Jonathan decides to call you to tell you that he is officially going to the party (he came to this decision after thinking about how you will be there, hopefully will make him feel more comfortable and get to hang out with you afterwards). He looks at his arm and tries to memorize the number, then dials it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey (y/n).. It's Jonathan"

"Hey, Mannnn. How ya doing?"

"Good. I hope I'm not bothering you.."

"No, No. Not at all. It's nice to talk to you."

A smile starts creeping up on Jonathan's face after you said that. (he starts leaning on his side against the wall).

"So I decided I'm going to the party" he starts.

"Hell yeah dude!! I'm so happy! Don't worry I'll be by your side as long as I can."

Hearing you say that to him is so nice and comforting.

You two continue to talk on the phone way longer than you guys anticipated but you both don't mind at all. A few hours go by and you eventually you checked the time on your alarm clock.

"Holy Shit yo, it's almost midnight."

"Wow really?" Jonathan checks his watch as well. "It didn’t even feel like we've been talking for that long."

"I knowww. Damn, I was supposed to go to sleep at ten, eleven the latest. Well, I got to go. See you tomorrow."

"You too. Goodnight.." Jonathan said with a little bit sadness in his voice.

"Night."

You both hung up and got ready for bed. After Jonathan was all done and already in his bed, he couldn't help but to think of you and seeing you again tomorrow before he went to sleep.

[thunderheadfred]

I have to get ready for the first of several Christmas social appearances in a few hours but I can’t sleep because hahaaaaaa have you met me

All of that stress is externalizing itself in the form of this really appealing Darth Maul + Girl Skywalker Twin dark side temptation plot for my stubbornly persistent Prequel AU (that seriously needs its own tag now) so here’s a bunch of hot garbage brainstorms instead of useful rest lmao

So this idea is uhhh not what you’d call a romance by any reasonable stretch, but imho it certainly qualifies as INTERESTING because I think he offers her a legitimately appealing Dark Side pitch, like this is no “just be evil cuz you’ll feel… all……… powerfull ohhhhhh” but it’s him literally restoring her voice and then handing her the tools to free herself and take out her revenge on some people who seeeriously have it coming… And only later, after Maul has gained her trust and shown her she doesn’t have to take anybody’s crap, does Sidious try to turn them against each other (of course, cuz why have two powerful apprentices when you can have… only one I guess???) and he’s all “everything he did for you was all a lieeee to test your potential, were you stupid enough to think anyone would care about you? You are only as good as your strength, now prove yourself and KILL HIM!” Etc Etc and being a Skywalker she’s like, “yeah, but… how about no?” And while I don’t want to redeem Darth Maul or turn him into a goopy love interest, maybe film-canon Maul could have two seconds of appearing to have any level of motivation beyond “best in show face paint” or “flashiest lightsaber twirl” IDK mannnnn

And all this time Obi-Wan has been training Anakin (who has been running around trying to rescue his sister from the Hutts, not knowing Maul got to her first) and ol Anakin A-bit-too-arrogantly-heroic-for-his-own-goof Skywalker has been gobbling up all the Light Side pointers thinking he can single-handedly free all the slaves in the universe and restore the Jedi to their former glory… And when the twins ruinite, they feel mutually betrayed because “wtf do you mean, I’m on the wrong side??? I’m the one trying to make a difference!” and tbfh Adaleia Skywalker might be the most sympathetic Chaotic Neutral character I’ve ever wanted to write, while Anakin is one of the most problematic Lawful Good and I love the idea of any character whose moral alignment starts on the one extreme and is gradually (and convincingly!) reversed to the opposite pole through a series of inescapable choices andjwidbeisbiejwdbjdwvgsudbej

There’s some interesting potential in there and it sprung up at me totally out of nowhere and I guess what I’m saying is that my brain will come up with all kinds of neat ideas just to avoid thinking about Christmas

[sabraeal]

I started watching The 100 because I saw you reblogging gifs of Bellamy x Clarke and the things I saw sounded more interesting than the little blurb Netflix put out. So of course I go in, basically already shipping Bellamy x Clarke. AND THERE IS SO MUCH Finn x Raven x Clarke drama. I'm just like LET'S GET TO THE BELLAMY x CLARKE SHIPPING PLS THANKS! It's a good show and I've been really enjoying it so far. So uh, thanks for randomly reblogging some gifs of it?

I AM ALL TOO HAPPY TO DRAW PEOPLE INTO THIS GARBAGE CAN WITH ME. I have like 20-30K of a fic for them that just....won’t get posted because that fandom is Too Much, but mannnnn, Bellamy x Clarke man. Like I’m two season behind at this point but I LIVE ON GIFS because UGHHH THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER

[jlf23tumble]

Mannnnn, do I love reporting people who send garbage to one of my sides! Feels good! Enjoy a taste of the keystone cops along with that block!