#mannerisms inspired by my own cat who loves to sit on my face and perch herself on my shoulder like a parrot

[achillean-knight]

Perhaps Noir and cats / his cat (Dingding)?

My friend, drawing Ding Ding is my kryptonite

[preciouspeterbparker]

i’ve loved you for all of my life

title from “more” by halsey.

this was inspired by @starker-sorbet’s moodboard for tony and peter with their newly adopted baby girl. i saw it and was immediately compelled to write this. 

warnings: i don’t think there really are any? adoption? mentions of umbilical cords and poop lol. this is very fluffy and sweet. there are some happy tears.

word count: 1.2k

Peter is pretty sure that Louisa May Stark is the most beautiful baby to ever live. When he voices the thought out loud, his husband gives a hum in agreement.

Sitting in the gray and white striped glider chair in the nursery, Peter has the newborn positioned in the crook of his left arm and slightly pressed against his chest. Tony’s standing to his right, hand resting on his shoulder. 

They’re both taking a moment to just look at her. She’s still so new. Louisa’s head is covered in sparse brown tufts and her caramel-toned skin is bumpy and dry in places, but Peter knows that’s normal. She’s only a few days old, after all. Her body’s still getting used to life outside the womb. There are mint green cloth mittens on her tiny hands, meant to keep her from scratching herself with her nails. 

“Louisa,” Peter coos when he sees her start to stir, waking up from her most recent cat-nap. “Hi, baby girl.” He’ll be surprised if he ever gets tired of saying that, of the warmth that blooms in his chest when he does. ...He is tired, though, he thinks as a yawn escapes his mouth; it’s only their second official day as parents, and as was typical of parents with a new baby, they hadn’t slept well. They survived their first night, but barely. The number of times Peter had jerked out of his sleep in order to whip his head in the direction of the bassinet by the bed was quite ridiculous, given that they were already up to feed her at least every three hours. 

The baby blinks up at him, all big brown eyes and a slightly o-shaped mouth. Her face screws up a little and she begins to wriggle around. Peter rocks gently in the chair in hopes to calm her down as her face begins to flush slightly, noises of discomfort escaping her. He tuts softly under his breath and rubs the palm of his right hand over her stomach. “It’s okay, Lou. You got it.” 

A few moments later Louisa sighs, releasing the tension that had built up in her limbs as she takes little whistling breaths through her nose. 

Then it’s Tony’s turn to wrinkle his own nose. The older man sniffs the air suspiciously, taking a small step away from Peter and the baby. “Do you...smell that? Is that smell coming from her? Oh my god, Louisa May, that is absolutely-”

“Hush, Tony! It’s alright, babydoll, don’t listen to your Papa.” Peter won’t lie. He always thought it was silly when he would hear parents speaking in full sentences to newborns- they obviously had no idea what you were saying. But, the many, many parenting books he’d forced himself and Tony to read in preparation for Louisa’s arrival said that it’s best to not use baby talk. It’s good for babies to hear their parents’ voices. And well, talking to her, connecting with her, already feels so natural. It’s like Peter’s been unknowingly harboring this deep, unshakable love for her in his heart his whole life. He can’t believe it. “Daddy’s got you, I can fix it.” 

Shifting carefully, he clutches her a little closer to his chest as he stands from the chair and crosses the room to gingerly lay her on the changing table. A soft cry fills the air and Peter brushes the back of his index finger along her cheek. “It’s alright, Lou.” He begins to unsnap the fasteners that run down the body of the lavender footed-onesie she’s wearing, attempting to maneuver her little legs out of the garment while keeping one hand placed on the soft skin of her belly, careful to avoid her navel and the drying stump that was her umbilical cord. “T, can you get me a diaper, please?” Peter grabs a wipe from the warmer, then pauses before grabbing a couple more and sitting them down in a pile. “Tony- Tony, look at her little toes,” he mumbles as he unfastens the dirty diaper, smiling at Louisa’s feet. 

Peter fumbles his way through the change, repeatedly making flustered eye-contact with Tony who watches dubiously from his spot by the head of the changing table. “Well- that was something,” he breathes after Louisa is redressed and the bundle of soiled trash banished into the diaper genie. Backing away slightly, he looks at his husband. “Honey, can you hold her while I wash my hands?”

Tony nods, stepping immediately into Peter’s place and carefully scooping the baby up to rest her head on his shoulder, one hand at her neck and the other cradling her bottom. “Hello there, Miss Louisa,” he smiles. His lips press a gentle kiss to her forehead. Inhaling slightly, he chuckles- there it is: baby smell. “It’s Papa’s time for snuggles now that you’re not stinky anymore.” The heat and weight of her little body against his is so comforting. Tony already knows how spoiled she will be; between him, Peter, and all of her aunts and uncles, he can almost guarantee that she’ll always be in someone’s arms. “Daddy and I are so happy you’re here, we love you so much. We waited a long time for you.” 

“Yes we did,” comes Peter’s voice from the doorway. The sight of his husband and his daughter (he has a daughter!) makes something warm flutter around his heart, but he still makes grabby-hands as he walks over to Tony. “Gimme. My turn again.” 

Rolling his eyes with a snort, Tony gives Louisa one last snuggle in defiance before handing her over to the shorter man. “Here you go, Daddy.” 

Once Peter feels that the baby is clutched securely to his chest, he walks closer to Tony and looks up, pushing his lips out. Tony responds by tilting his own head down, pressing their lips together in a short peck. “You can have her tonight when she wakes up every couple of hours.” 

“It’s a deal,” Tony grins, pulling Peter into his arms and resting his chin on top of the brunette’s head. He closes his eyes as they sway gently, enjoying the moment. 

It’s not even a minute before soft, plaintive whimpers begin to leave the newborn, and one of her mittened fists comes up to her mouth, waving around in a tense and uncoordinated manner. “Oh, honeybun,” Peter soothes, backing out of Tony’s embrace so he can bring Louisa down to rest in the crook of his arm. “What is it, you hungry?”

Tony wrings his hands, and cranes his neck a bit to try and get a good look at the clock perched on the bookshelf. A small furrow forms in the skin between his eyebrows. “Is it time for her next bottle? She ate around 10, it’s almost noon, now. She could be hungry now, right? The books said every 2-3 hours, right? Peter, what- Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Peter sniffles slightly as he aims a watery smile at his husband. They hold eye contact for a minute before he looks back down at the little girl in his arms. She chirps some more and suckles on her fist. “I love you so much, Tony,” he whispers, looking up again. “And I love her, and- We’re a family, Tony. We have a family.” 

Tony’s heart contracts in his chest, and hell, now he’s shooting his own shaky grin at Peter. It had been the two of them for so long. And now, they were more than a couple. They were three; they were a family. “We do.”

[vake-hunter]

Acceptance into the House of Chimes results and which Master is playing Chimes in those results

this is fun and cute little details about the Masters

An innocent (Pages)

A fresh face among the jaded horde! No doubt you will achieve great things one day. But watch yourself: in Fallen London, innocence is a commodity like any other. 

Mr Chimes glides across the floor and grasps your hand in a spotless white glove. It feels like shaking a branch wound with spider-silk. 'Most optimate friend!' it whispers. 'Welcome to our Chamber of Delicacies!'

An Extraordinary Beauty (Apples/Hearts)

Persuasive 20

That skin! Those eyes! That delightful nose! Nobody can resist you!

Mr Chimes glides across the floor and surveys you up and down. 'My dear, my dear,' it says. 'How very appetising to have you here with us. Will you tilt your head to the right a little? Just so. Just so.'

A Player of Games (Iron)

Watchful 20, the Boatman's Opponent 1

You are an emperor of the chess board. You shuffle tiles and playing cards with dazzling speed. Rumour has it that you have diced with Death itself.

Mr Chimes approaches: the clicking of its boot-heels on the floor is like bone dice thrown on marble. It hands you two mah-jong tiles. Engraved on the back of the Winter tile is the single word 'WELCOME'. On the back of the Plum tile, you read 'LUCK IS THE PREROGATIVE OF VICTORS.' 

A noted trainer of Weasels (Apples/Hearts)

1 x Araby Fighting Weasel

The weasel-fanciers of Spite speak highly of your expertise with the genus mustela.

Mr Chimes is suddenly at your elbow. It inhales deeply. 'Oh, toothsome, my dear,' it says. 'Toothsome. Let the little fellows run free, by all means. Someone will manage the results, I assure you.' 

A true patriot (Wines)

1 x A Copy of your Patriotic Adventure

Your writings inspire the youth of Fallen London to a frenzy of patriotism!

Mr Chimes takes your arm and guides you into the lobby of the House. Its grasp is like the clutch of a winter tree. 'We respect loyalty to an ideal,' it says. 'One of the more austere forms, perhaps. But a true realisation nevertheless. No?'

A masterful cat-chaser (UH I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW? Veils maybe?)

Shadowy 30

You have honed your skills in pursuit of the city's most evasive felines. They speak your name with respect, if not quite affection.

Mr Chimes steals up on you from behind, but you turn just before its gloved fingers touch your shoulder. It chortles. 'Who can stalk the stalker, eh? Welcome to my House. Ware the Bell!' 

Not to be crossed (Iron probably)

Dangerous 20

There is something disquieting about your appearance. It's hard to pin down, exactly. An aura of suppressed violence.

Mr Chimes strides toward you. It holds up a hand in greeting. Or in warning? It nods once; it turns to go. That is all.

A crown in shadows (Wines)

1 Fate

Royal blood? Can it be true? On the wrong side of the blankets, no doubt. But that's what they say.

Mockery or respect?

Mr Chimes steps aside for you and makes the gentlest inclination of its head. 'We will bring you a bottle of something a little special,' it avers. 'We are delighted to add another crownable head to our collection!' Hm. 

Allergic to brass? (Spices probably)

1 x Nevercold Brass Sliver

The touch of the stuff hives your skin and blears your eyes. It makes you weep tears of blood. This makes you an object of some fascination at parties.

A bewildered Master

Unthinkable!' the hooded Mr Chimes shrieks. 'Impossible! Unprecedented!' It seems quite cheerful about it, though. It does insist you demonstrate the weeping-blood business, unfortunately.

Exceptionally Talented (Cups/Mirrors. Possibly Hearts/Apples but almost definitely Cups/Mirrors)

10 x Confident Smile, Persuasive 100

Both ladies and gentlemen pause immediately before speaking your name. There is a quality to that pause which is not easily described.

A friendly thing

Mr Chimes' hand spiders along your arm. 'My dear,' it coos. 'If only my tastes ran to... well, perhaps if your blood was a little cooler. No matter, my dear. You will be treasured.' 

The Rooftop Dancer (Veils)

Shadowy 60, Route: The Flit 1

You know the ways of the Flit like few others. They say you can reach the summit of All Christs' spire in the space of a single breath. They say you stole a feather from the Topsy King's hat. They call you 'Pussyfoot', but in a good way.

An avuncular approach

Mr Chimes drifts up like a scrap of silk on the wind. 'Good evening! Good evening indeed! You're a swift and circumspect maker of ways, aren't you? You are indeed! How very much to be admired.' 

An Unparalelled Grotesque (Maybe Wines because it has blue eyes)

10 x Hard-Earned Lesson

In the decades since the Fall, no-one has ever looked quite like you. Thank God.

A long silence

The bluish glimmer of Mr Chimes' eyes is steady, but you sense an obscure emotion. 'Well,' it says at last, 'why not? Why not indeed.'

A Visionary (Wines. Not Pages due to wording. Royal we makes it Wines)

A Person of Some Importance: A Significant Individual

You have made the Square of Lofty Words your playground. You have cowed the women and men of the University. Your ideas are simple in outline and intricate in implication. They will be remembered, perhaps, when everyone in this room is dead. Except Mr Chimes.

A debatable honour

‘Dear friend,' Mr Chimes murmurs confidentially. 'We have often read the surveillance reports on your speeches. We have commended your texts to the Ministry of Public Decency. We look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.'

A Prisoner of Despair (Fires)

Melancholy 4

Can your misery be so deep and unrelieved that even Mr Chimes has taken pity on you? Or does it simply hope you'll be a diverting mascot?

Mockery, or Hope?

Mr Chimes bears down on you, robe flapping like a tent in a hurricane. Its voice is an alto shriek. 'Come along upstairs! It's warm enough. It'll steam the chill out of your heart. And, here - ' It hands you a candle. 'It'll light you to bed.'

A Speaker of Truth to Power (Iron)

Forceful 3, Subtle 3

You've said the wrong thing to the wrong people once too often. You're going to be a lot of fun.

An ambivalent welcome

Mr Chimes perches on a high carved chair like a black gull on a cliff. A footman approaches with a silver tray bearing a single card. It reads: 'SILENCE'. An announcement? A suggestion? An instruction? Or is Mr Chimes just being difficult for its own inscrutable entertainment?

A Possessor of Impossible Table Habits (Who knows. One who knows table manners I guess)

What are you - no. No! Such things were not to be dreamt of! A fork cannot be put to such uses! Close your mouth! Close his mouth! For the love of all that is holy! DON'T TOUCH THAT SPOON!

Mr Chimes arranges an audition of sorts. You are served a hearty meal of beef-steak and winter vegetables, and provided with all the cutlery you might require. You perform the operations for which you have become notorious. After a suitable time for the onlookers to recover their composure, you are admitted to the House.

Orphaned in a Grisly Accident (I want to say Veils due to what we know of its collections)

Mr Chimes likes tales of blood and terror. It likes tales of butter and whimsy too. Tales of blood, terror, butter and whimsy are like music and water to one dying of thirst in the Desert of Cymbals. The tale of your parents' death at the hands of the Dairy Kings will bring breathless listeners to the fire for a hundred nights.

Not a dry eye

You tell the tale, long and horrible as it is. Mr Chimes convulses with... Mirth? Pity? Fear? Black-liveried footmen watch impassively while its shoulders writhe and roll, and its eyes shimmer like topaz deep in its hood. At last it subsides and you are admitted to the House. 'Step carefully,' Mr Chimes flutes.

An Artist in Ivory (Wines was the Khan of Dreams, but this could be Spices talking. Or Cups/Mirrors.)

a Scholar of the Correspondence 1

You have carved flutes from femurs and trinkets from tibia. Your sigil-circled skull sits in the grandest gallery of Veilgarden. They whisper that when you die for the last time, Mr Cups itself will come for your bones.

A pale horse

‘A little gift,' Mr Chimes informs you. 'Something to recall the Khan of Dreams by. Since you seem so keen to commemorate him.' Do you? Or has Mr Chimes misunderstood the nature of your project?

A wanderer of Parabola (Mirrors)

7 x Memory of Light, A Game of Chess 9, Is Someone There? 10

In your dreams you have seen the Mirror-Marches, the Menagerie of Roses, the Castle of Forests, the nests of the Fingerkings... even though you may forget them when you wake. But there is a light in your eyes.

A light in the darkness

‘Yes,' says the Master quietly. 'The mirrors know your name. The serpents have your scent. The rivers of roses will not drown you. The apples of glass might lie quiet in your hands. If you burn, you burn like a candle. If you die, you die like dawn. You are very delicious.' 

A zub-mariner! (Spices from voice but sounds like Fires from excitement about boats)

1 x Zubmarine, An Experienced Zailor 3

You are charting the unknown leagues beneath the zee.

Mr Chimes lopes towards you across the stone floor. 'Marvellous!' it shrills. It pumps your hand excitedly. It's like grabbing a nestful of velvet spiders. 'You'll fit right in here. Grab a seat.'

A killer of renown (Iron)

A Bringer of Death 1, 1 x Ravenglass Knife

Even in Fallen London, where bloodshed is as common as glim-fall, your name is whispered with apprehension. 

Mr Chimes approaches in utter silence. It hands you a rostygold knife, hilt-first. Engraved on the blade is the word: MEET. That is all.

A font of devil's tears (Want to say Cups due to smell but could be any)

Connected: Hell 20

Did your masterwork really make a devil weep? It must be true. Mr Chimes has the tears there in a little bottle. Wait. Is it drinking them?

A chuckle in the hood

Mr Chimes drapes a companionable arm across your shoulders. It smells of dust and winter starlight. 'Devils despise that kind of humiliation,' it confides in you. 'I laughed for days. Come on upstairs.' 

An Oenologonaut (Spices)

1 x Greyfields 1868 First Sporing, 1 x Greyfields 1879, 1 x Greyfields 1882, 1 x Black Wings Absinthe, 1 x Morelways 1872, 1 x Broken Giant 1844, 1 x Strangling Willow Absinthe, 1 x Fourth City Airag: Year of the Tortoise, 1 x Cellar of Wine

No-one has plumbed the secrets of the grape, the hop and the blood-apple more deeply than you. You can identify the products of vineyards that have no name in any human tongue.

Fond Sighs

Dear one,' says Mr Chimes warmly. 'Pleasure is a wilderness. We are its cartographers. Let us embark, you and I, on the catalogue of delight! Our journey begins here.' 

A Liar among Liars (No idea)

1 x Appalling Secret, 1 x Uncanny Incunabula, 1 x Extraordinary Implication, 1 x Searing Enigma, 1 x Whispered Secret, 1 x Cryptic Clue

Who can ever believe your stories? Truth is mingled with falsehood like blood in milk. You are a prince of rumours. Or is it a princess? Who can ever be sure?

An impassive audience

Mr Chimes listens to your stories of star and sea and shadow. It neither nods nor shakes its head when you suggest certain relationships between the Mountain of Light and the troubling thesis of Mr Darwin. It is motionless when you venture a hypothesis as to why only six symbols of the Correspondence can be written together on one paper. When you begin to discuss a matter of wells and candles and the Third City, it raises a finger. 'This is false,' it murmurs. 'Let us ensure it remains that way,' 

A Legendary Calumnist (Apples/Hearts)

Scandal 7, Persuasive 100, Watchful 100

Your barbs and insults and the twisting satires you've spawned have been the bane of the lowly and the great alike. All fear the savage edge of your tongue.

A cautious welcome

‘My dear,' Mr Chimes whispers. 'Be kind to the little ones, will you? Not all have your advantages. I admit you only on condition that you choose not to bite.'

‘I know a man.' (Probably Wines)

Connected: the Masters of the Bazaar 5

If it can be called a man. Step aside, peon. I am already welcome here.'

A hearty welcome

Come in, come in! A place by the fire is prepared for you. The table is set. The brandy rises from the cellar like the laughter of friends! Forget the petty troubles without. You have earned this night of peace.' 

I will scream until your House rings with the Words of the Thunder! (Probably Wines)

Stormy-Eyed 5, having Recurring Dreams: What the Thunder Said 10

I am the storm, I am the wind, I am the rain! I demand admittance! Defy me and I will blow your House down! 

The cloaked thing bows before me!

I fling gusts of squalling rain at its head! Then I race through the dusty corners and crannies of the House of Chimes with a cleansing breeze! I bid lightning spring from its spire in celebration! The Master insists I hang my oilskin on the hatstand before I drip on the carpets! 

The Inescapable Arm of the Law (Spices I believe)

investigating the Rubbery Murders 12, ascending the Reliables list of Mr Pages 3, Connected: The Constables 50, Connected: The Great Game 50, Watchful 100, 1 x Antique Constable's Badge

Your eye pursueth the malfeasant as the wrathful eye of God pursued Cain across the desert. You have returned wedding rings to costermongers, cats to dowagers, and stolen hearts to sorrowful tomb-colonists.

A nervous flutter?

We are most pleased to see you here,' Mr Chimes shrills. 'You are an ingeniate of great note! But perhaps you should limit your investigations in this House, eh?'

A Blood-Cousin to Predators (Veils probably)

1 x Ancient Hunting Rifle, a Procurer of Savage Beasts 1, 1 x Fairly Tame Sorrow-Spider, 1 x Bengal Tigress, 1 x Araby Fighting-Weasel, Dangerous 100, Watchful 100, marked by the Eater-of-Chains 3.

You have brought the great beasts low and walked in the footsteps of the fierce. You have turned fang and cunning, spine and venom and brute strength, against the monsters who wield them.

A peculiar passion

Mr Chimes inclines its head to you. 'Beasts. Beasts beasts beasts! So many beasts, such little time. Perhaps you could turn your energies to the pursuit of troublesome humans, hey? Why waste your time hunting those who cannot speak? Or sing? But welcome welcome!'

[imagine-organization-xiii]

Organization XIII - As Cats

I was inspired by two things: the first was this post by boodalinski because I was watching the kill count on youtube and happened to come across it while scrolling through the tumblr tag for Friday the 13th.

I was also inspired by a fanfiction by nyargles called Phil Coulson is Not a Crazy Cat Lady - an MCU fanfic with the avengers as cats, which was fairly entertaining and I highly recommend if you’re an MCU fan.

oOoOo

Buy me a coffee here! (now with an updated and working link)

oOoOo

Xemnas

Xemnas was your first kitty, a regal black feline that had a look in his eyes that said he was a lot smarter than everyone around him.  The old lady you adopted him from couldn’t tell you how old he was, only that she had him for years and that he really didn’t seem to age and didn’t act like an elderly cat. She promised that he was mostly self-sufficient and, honestly, came and went as he pleased, which he does.

You can go days sometimes without seeing Xemnas. You’ll refill his food and water bowls because the contents steadily disappear and there’s evidence that he’s been using the litter box, but you don’t actually see him even when you search high and low through the house.

There’s nothing that you can do. He is the king of your house and he will make it known. When he does bother to show his face, he watches your ever move, obviously judging everything you do. Gets pissed if you don’t give him the highest quality of food - wet. salmon. only. or he’ll just refuse to eat and meow at you like a little asshole until you give in.

Does not get along with the other cats you eventually adopt. He acts as though they’re business partners and gets some of them to do his bidding.

That cat that would stand next to that expensive glass vase that your mother gave you and slowly reach out his paw while you’re like “don’t you dare,” and he’ll just blink slowly at you like the little asshole he is before he pushes the vase to the floor and lets it smash into a hundred pieces.

Xigbar

Xigbar was a wild stray when you first found him lurking on the roof near your rain gutters. His hair was long and matted and he had more scars across his body than any animal should ever have, but he had a surprisingly good attitude when you clicked your fingers and enticed him with cat treats. Turns out the treats were useless, because he just took one look at you and the treats, turned his nose up at you, hopped down from your roof and waltzed past you just to head directly to your front door, meowing in annoyance until you let him inside.

Didn’t mind it when you dragged him into the bath, meowing wildly at Xemnas from where your first cat perched himself on your bathroom counter, watching with an intense eye that almost made you uncomfortable. Xigbar, however, didn’t put up a fight against the water and happily allows you to scrub at the dirt and grime in his fur.

This little asshole gets into everything. You can lock the cabinets and the doors and put padlocks onto the bags of treats but somehow still manages to eat his way through a whole bag of cat food and treats and oh god the bag of catnip like the rat bastard he is.

Xaldin

Xaldin is a large fluffy cat with the darkest hair you’ve ever seen - hair that seems to get tangled no matter what you do, so you need to keep him brushed constantly because he’ll go absolutely ballistic if you try to get it trimmed by a groomer to make it more manageable.

His hair gathers static electricity like whoa, so be prepared to get a static shock if you get close to him, which happens a lot because he gets in moods sometimes where he loves cuddles? But he doesn’t want you to know he loves cuddles. He’ll plop his ass in your lap and expect you to give him a few cuddles and squeezes before he’s done for the day and goes about doing whatever else he does.

A jealous cat, like horribly jealous whenever you pay one of the other cats more attention than him. He needs a lot of affection even though he’ll fight you tooth and nail through it all. He wants to be an independent kitty, okay, but he gets lonely easily, so don’t be surprised if he sneaks in to your room at night to sleep at the foot of your bed and somehow ends up half on top of your pillow with you.

Vexen

A cat that is on the uglier side because of a surprisingly pointed face with a nose that is always up in the air. He has a constant pout and is on the older side, even though you’ve never been able to pinpoint exactly how old he was.

Talks a lot. Meows at you, at the other cats, at himself, at walls, at empty air, at his toys, at everything. He never shuts up. His meow sounds like the disgruntled croak of someone who smoked eighteen packs of cigarettes a day, literally one of the ugliest meows you’ve ever heard in your life.

But that’s okay!!! He isn’t the most handsome cat in the world but by god he’s so smart and endearing. You can’t believe how intelligent he is. He’s the one who locates all of the treats and catnips, Xigbar tears open the bags, and the two of them share in the spoils of their victory.

An indecisive cat. Meows relentlessly to get your attention because he gets lonely. “Y/N pay attention to me!!!” But then when you do he’s like HA SIKE and nips at your heels or hands before he bolts away because he can’t decide if he wants affection or if he just wants to be a naughty boy for no reason.

Lexaeus

You find Lexaeus at the same time you find Zexion, the gigantic cat covering the smaller gray kitten protectively with his huge body against the storm raging outside and against you. They were hiding somewhere under your porch when you heard the tiny kitten mewls from somewhere nearby, and you somehow managed to entice them into the house with warmth and treats.

Lexaeus is one of the biggest cats you’ve ever seen. He’s protective of Zexion - and later, the other cats, too - and he’s quiet and surprisingly agile for his huge size. Of all the cats, it takes him the longest to get used to your presence. He doesn’t trust you at all for what feels like weeks, but slowly he gets used to having you around and... well, he knows that you’re now his primary food source so he begrudgingly accepts you.

But when he does get used to you? He’s a purring machine. Sounds like a small car engine with how much he purrs. The smaller kittens love to lay on him or under him or around him because he’s like a vibrating massager.

Plops everywhere. Plops on your lap when he wants cuddles, which is often. Plops on top of the older cats when they annoy him or if they’re getting out of control. Plops on top of the little cats when he can tell they’re getting anxious. Just a blob of fur sometimes.

Zexion

A teeny baby!!!! Such a sweetheart. Quiet and smart and wary of the entire world around him even though he is so curious and wants to get into everything because he has to be in everyone’s business. He likes to explore even if that means he’ll disappear and appear hours later covered in dust and dirt.

Another one of your rare cats that’s fairly okay with baths. A little lukewarm water and his favorite squeaky toy and he’ll be good to go when you need to wash some dirt out of his hair.

His favorite spot in the world? Perched on top of Lexaeus’s head. You don’t know why, but you think he might like the view from so high up since he has fairly short legs.

Not really a fan of toys in general, but he loves blankets and anything fluffy that he could dig himself in and hide. The more fluff, the better, which is probably why he likes Lexaeus so much. If you can’t find him, chances are that he’s somehow gotten into your bed and burrowed under your covers because WARM

Saix

Saix was a wild stray when you found him lurking near your rain gutters one late, rainy night, with matted fur and an odd scar across 

Likes to keep to himself. You don’t own him, he owns you. Doesn’t like to be touched except for on very rare occasions. He’s self-sufficient, similarly to Xemnas, but unlike Xemnas who judges you for long distances but will begrudgingly put up with you if you pat his head, Saix is NOT afraid of swiping at you with your claws.

“Omg, Y/N, are you okay?” And your friends will just stare down at the tiny scratch marks that cover your palms and your arms and your calves. “Oh, yeah, that’s just Saix.”

Likes schedules. Somehow knows your schedule better than you do. He’s your alarm clock in the mornings, waking you up with piercing meows right next to your ear at 6:30 on the dot. Are you late for feeding time? Unacceptable. Get your ass in the kitchen and pour food into his bowl before he takes it upon himself to jump onto the counters and find something to eat for himself.

One of the cats that brings you dead animals because, my goodness you really are useless aren’t you? Here, let me just plop this dead mouse right into your shoes so you can have some sustenance.

Axel

Axel comes as a package deal with Roxas at the animal shelter. You go in to volunteer for a bit and leave with two cats meowing enthusiastically back and forth to each other.

Equally as vocal as Vexen, but his meows are a bit cuter and more high-pitched. Eagerly races after you through the house as he trills in excitement - never has any idea what’s going on, but he’s always happy to be around you!

Axel is arguably the best cat around other human beings. He’s a curious cat when it comes to people and thinks, hey this is another person to give me some sweet pets so I better be nice to them no matter what!!! Also one of the only cats that will actually show themselves when there’s a little child in the room. Sits patiently while the kid will pat him a little too roughly, well-mannered and begrudging as he noses his way around the room.

Best cat around other human beings, yes, but it takes you a while to realize it’s because he’s a nosy little shit and has to be in the middle of everything at all times. Will definitely be winding through people’s legs and whining for attention because he has to be the center of attention or else.

Demyx

Such a dumb cat. Like probably the dumbest cat you’ve ever seen in your life, but it’s gone around from being super dumb to kind of being endearing, because Demyx is such a loving cat and wants all the cuddles and love that you can give him, but he has no common sense whatsoever.

The last of your cats that likes water, and he probably likes it the most out of all of them. Scrub scrub scrub, just let him drown in that warm water, he will thank you with the best cuddles and rubs against your leg. 

Follows you everywhere because he wants to be with you because he loves you! Are you heading into the bathroom? Into the kitchen to fix dinner? Into your attic? Out to your car? He’ll be right on your heels.

Makes the cutest noises when he sleeps, like little squeaks and chirps that happen when he gets too excited even when he’s unconscious.

Luxord

Shameless attention whore, without a doubt. Follows you around the house. Follows the other cats. Follows deliver people and your friends out to their vehicles. Tries to follow you to work. He has definitely made you late more than once because he absolutely knows how to sneak past you out the front door.

Most susceptible to bribes of treats. Dangle a few treats in the air and Luxord could quite literally be eating out of the palm of your hand. He gets kind of zealous, though, so get him to do what you need him to do before he starts literally climbing up your pant leg.

Shockingly territorial. He likes things to be a certain way, so if one of the other cats happens to sneak their way into his spot on the cat tower? He can get kind of violent. However, he’s also easily distracted, so fights with the other cats are few and far between.

Marluxia

A sweet, lazy cat who would much rather spread out in your garden in a patch of sunshine than run around with the other cats. He’s an observer, through and through, and keeps himself super groomed. Loves being pampered and doesn’t mind bathing, but it isn’t his favorite thing in the world.

His weak spot? His ears. Rub behind his ears for a little bit and he will literally melt into a pile of fluff across your feet. A scratch behind the ears is instantly calming for your sweet Marluxia.

Cleans himself all the time. Expect to be groomed when he grooms himself because, man Y/N you need to take care of yourself! He’s a handsome boy and he knows it, so he thinks that he’s the epitome of good hygiene. Will also try to help groom the other cats - only half of them put up with it.

Larxene

Your first female cat and Larxene immediately takes up a role as queen. She won’t let any of the other cats take advantage of her, so your boys will either avoid her completely, watch her warily from a distance, or do their best to befriend her and get on her good side.

Static. Electricity. You don’t know what Larxene does when you have your back turned, but every time you go to pet her, you always end up getting an electric shock. She’ll chirp at you and give you a lick before running off to go curl up near the window, but you’re left with your hair standing on end.

Most active at night. When all of the other cats are snoozing, she likes to be up, roaming and wandering the house and exploring. She likes being aware of her surroundings!

Larxene is also the best when it comes to car rides. She’ll stretch out and snooze where your other cats will cry, hiss, swat at you, or hide under one of the seats.

Roxas

Roxas isn’t a stupid cat - he’s actually really smart! - but he’s so clumsy. Trips on air, on his own two feet, on the other cats, on his toys, on his food bowl, etc. He jumps long distances and misses his destination, runs with an intention of leaping but slips on the floor and runs face-first into the wall. Bounces back pretty fast and is fairly resilient, so he rarely injures himself no matter how much he trips and falls.

Most likely to be found: dangling by the scruff in Axel’s mouth, meowing indignantly. Axel took a shine to the little kitten and you aren’t quite sure why, but if you’re looking for either one of them, the other shouldn’t be far behind.

Squeaky toys. Oh, man, all the squeaky toys. Has he disappeared? Just give his favorite toy a squeak and wait a few minutes. He’ll bolt down the hallway and squeak squeak squeak squeaksqueaksqueaksqUEAK

Xion

Oh, my God, the cutest kitten, almost too cute to be real. She’s small and has stubby legs but is surprisingly agile for her size and age.  Probably the youngest of all of the kitties.

Has a sixth sense when it comes to human emotions. Knows exactly whenever your upset and she adjusts her behavior accordingly. You’re sad and she wants you to be less sad, so be prepared for constant purring and cuddles until you feel better. Sometimes recruits Roxas to come and snuggle with you.

Hates water, but isn’t afraid of it? Like she doesn’t want to be in the water at all, but she gets scared for you whenever you take a shower and wants to rescue you, so she’ll definitely be meowing at you until you take her into the shower with you, putting her somewhere dry where she can watch you and make sure that you’re okay.

[littlemisslol-fic]

All's fair in love and war. 

Heheh I had fun with this one! Today was inspired by my good friend Jigg who did a lot of absolutely hilarious drawings of Protective-Big-Brother-Eugene a month or so ago! I've always wanted to write something with that concept after she posted it, and bless I finally got my chance!! If you're not following her insta GO DO THAT YOU FOOL <3

@alistairwrites​ I had HELLA fun with this prompt today lmao

“You’re the love of my life.”

 “I know, you’re not very subtle.”

 There’s a pause, before Varian looks up from his book with an arched brow, waiting for Hugo to respond. Hugo, sitting on the other end of the couch, smiles with a sense of forced innocence. His feet twitch from their place on Varian’s lap; the smile grows more strained.

 “What’s your angle?” Varian asks, poking his nose back into his book. “Or, better question, what did you break?”

 “I’m heartbroken that you assume that of me! Goggles, please, how could you say that about me?”

 “Hugo.”

 “I want to mess with Rider.”

 Varian looks back up, noting the mischievous grin starting to split Hugo’s face. “Eugene?” He asks, “Why?”

 “Haven’t you seen him lately?” Hugo snickers, “Every time I get within three feet of you, he looks ready to burst a blood vessel.”

 Varian pauses to think, chewing on his lip. “Really?” He finally says, closing his book and tossing it onto a nearby table. “I didn’t notice…”

 And he hadn’t, not really. It had only been a few months since they’d come back from the library, hand in hand and ready to face the world together. Rapunzel had taken it well, but Eugene… well admittedly Eugene hadn’t taken the news of Varian dating an ex-associate of his with grace. The older man had very loudly demanded to know why Varian had to choose that one, as opposed to some nice, wholesome noble, but Varian hadn’t taken the bait. Because this one’s mine, he’d said to the man, and that had supposedly been the end of it.

 Supposedly.

 “Has he been saying things to you?” Varian asks, his tone dropping. “If he’s said something that wasn’t okay I can-”

 “No, no, nothing like that, Sweetcheeks.” Hugo’s hands fly up in a placating manner. “I just like to watch him get twitchy.”

 “Is that why you were hanging off of me after dinner last night?” Varian asks with a huff, thinking back to the sudden PDA of the night before. While Hugo was always one for contact, it had been excessive.

 “Testing the hypothesis.” Hugo nods, looking sage. Varian’s fully laughing now, his shoulders shaking with the force of it. He can see Hugo bite his lip to keep from laughing too, but the tears in his eyes make the room swirl.

 “And-” The giggles grow uncontrollable. “And what were the results? Did you write them down? Make me a chart and present your findings.”

 “The results were very promising.” Hugo finally breaks, his own laughs joining Varian. The blond stretches, moving his feet so he can lean closer to his boyfriend. Varian lets Hugo enter his space, leaning up for a chaste kiss. “And he really did pull some amazingly offended faces when I touched your ass-”

 “Okay, that’s enough of that!” Varian near screams, shoving Hugo’s pouting face away from him. “No, no more, you ruined it.”

 “But if I asked-”

 “What’s in it for me?”

 Hugo pauses, thinking. “I’ll proclaim my eternal love for you?” He offers, to which Varian rolls his eyes.

 “You already do that daily.”

 “What about taking the trash panda for a walk?”

 “Ruddiger hates you.”

 Hugo grits his teeth, jaw tensing. Varian perks, giggling again as Hugo spits out the next words. The blond knows exactly what will get Varian to agree, much as it’s going to cost him.

 “What if I cleaned the beakers for the next week?”

 “Make it two.” Varian’s crying with laughter again, refusing to look at his devastated boyfriend lest he break entirely.

 “One and a half.”

 Varian wipes at his eyes, nodding. “Deal,” He gasps between laugh, forcing the words out. “Deal, deal.”

 Hugo leans forwards with a groan, using Varian’s lap as a pillow. “You drive a hard bargain, sweetcheeks,” the blond moans dramatically. “But I guess that’s why I love you.”

 “Damn straight.” Varian snickers, leaning down to press a kiss to Hugo’s head. The blond’s face lights up at the contact, a small blush scattering across pale cheeks. Varian does it again, just to see that smile grow.

 “Now, how are we going to play this?”

 They start small.

 Testing the waters, as Hugo had called it. Small things here and there, nothing really unusual for the two of them, to be honest. A glance here, a touch there, a kiss that lasted just a smidge too long. Varian kept half an eye on Eugene, noting with delight that Hugo was, in fact, right. The older man’s face was constantly contorted into either disgust or rage every time Varian and Hugo got a little too close to each other, the man glaring at Hugo consistently when he thought Varian wasn’t looking.

 Hypothesis confirmed, they’d taken it up a notch.

 “You’re my everything,” Varian coos from his spot half-on-half-off of Hugo’s lap. “I love you more than life itself.”

 His boyfriend bites his lip to keep from laughing, reaching up to cup Varian’s face with both his hands. “You’re my sun and moon,” Hugo plays up the last few words with a kiss to Varian’s nose, nearly bursting out laughing when it scrunches.

 From the corner of his eye, Varian can see Eugene’s hands twitch.

 They’re in the library, Varian, Hugo, Eugene, and Rapunzel. The evil of the week had crawled out from under whatever rock it had been living beneath, and Rapunzel had asked for Varian’s help to try and stop it- but that didn’t stop the alchemist from seizing the chance to mess with his big brother. Multitasking was something he prides himself on, of course.

 Varian and Hugo snuggle close on an ornate chaise together, nearly plastered together in a way that makes Rapunzel squeal and Eugene rage.

 “Wanna tone down the PDA, goggles?” He grumps, flipping though a book roughly. “Go be gross somewhere else, if you’re not going to help-”

 “Oh, Eugene.” Rapunzel chastises from her perch on a nearby chair. “Just let them have their fun, they’re not hurting anyone.”

 “They’re hurting my soul.” Varian hears Eugene grumble to himself, and has to push a giggle into Hugo’s shoulder. The blond isn’t much better- and Hugo’s always been one to push the limits. Varian feels hands slip down from his face and onto his hips; the grip is still chaste, but solid as Hugo pulls him close and hooks his chin over Varian’s head.

 “You’re the light of my life,” Hugo proclaims, “My heart, my soul-”

 “I’ve loved you since the moment we met!” Varian pumps his words with drama, flinging his arms around Hugo’s shoulders and holding tight. “Since I laid eyes on you-”

 “You’re my everything.” Hugo… sounds a little more serious this time. Varian pauses, looking into somber, green eyes. “I owe you so much more than I can ever give.”

“I love you.” Varian says into Hugo’s shoulder, ignoring how Eugene makes a noise like an angry cat. “So much.”

 “I love you too,” Hugo murmurs. Varian feels a kiss pressed into the top of his head, sighing at the contact. Something in him warms; even if they’re just playing up the schmoopy garbage to annoy Eugene, it’s still nice to hear affirmations of love from his boyfriend.

 “Okay, that’s it!” Eugene shouts, slamming his book down. It startles everyone else in the room, all of them looking at the grumpy man. “Goggles, glasses, with me, c’mon.” He points an accusatory finger at the two on the couch before roughly pushing back from the table. He stalks deeper into the library, not looking back to see if they follow. Varian chances a glance towards Rapunzel, who only shrugs with a what can you do expression on her face.

 Varian sighs and gets up as well, holding out a hand to help Hugo up. “I think we might have pushed too far.” He mutters, gripping tightly to Hugo’s hand.

 “Nah,” Hugo grins, an easy, simple thing. “He’s just being a sourpuss.”

 Varian can’t help but snicker again, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, but it’s not going to matter when he stabs you.”

 “I will take my stabbing with grace if it means I get to stay with you.” Hugo simpers, his face twisted in an over-the-top pout. The shorter boy shoves him away with a laugh, turning down the row of shelves he’d seen Eugene disappear into.

 The man stands there, arms crossed, tapping his foot with a put-upon expression. Varian’s hand goes a little tight as it grips Hugo’s, just enough to give away his stress at the sight of how aggravated Eugene is. There’s an awkward silence for at least half a minute, the older man glaring at the two alchemists, who remain quiet.

 “Why are we here, exactly?” Hugo finally cracks the silence in half. Varian steps on his foot with a glare, shaking his head as Eugene’s face grows darker.

 “I need another book.” The man grumbles, “And I don’t trust you not to be weird while alone with Rapunzel.”

 “Eugene it’s not like that,” Varian sighs, “We’re just mess-”

 “Book. Please.” Eugene grunts, gesturing to a tall ladder on rolling wheels. It’s closest to Varian, so the youngest of the three rolls his eyes and drops Hugo’s hand, climbing up the ladder with a grumble that’s sounds suspiciously like stupid old man before he’s too far up to be heard anymore.

 And that’s when Eugene strikes.

 “Hands off of goggles, capiche?” The man jabs a finger into Hugo’s chest. “I know he likes you for now, but hands. Off.”

 “Or what?” Hugo challenges, delighting in how Eugene turns a wonderful shade of purple. “We both know you can’t do shit while Varian’s-”

 A sudden shriek cuts them off. Both their heads snap upwards just in time to watch Varian’s foot slip off the rung of the ladder, the boy dropping like a stone. Hugo’s got his arms out before he can think, lunging forwards-

 A body slams into his own-

 Eugene and Hugo, having slammed into each other when both had tried for a catch, tumble to the floor in a mess of limbs and shouted curses. Hugo feels a sudden pain flair up his side-

 Varian’s cry cuts off with a strangled noise as he falls directly on top of the two men tangled together on the floor. Hugo and Eugene shout as Varian’s weight hits them, both of them losing any sort of air they might have had in their lungs. The three lie together on the floor, groaning at the various aches and pains, breathing heavily. Varian’s the first to move, rolling off the pile with a small wince. Hugo’s up like a shot, borderline scrambling towards his boyfriend with barely contained worry.

“Shit- you good, goggles?” He stumbles over the words just like he stumbles over Eugene’s legs, pale hands flying up to cup Varian’s face. Varian nods quickly, his own hands reaching for Hugo’s shoulders.

“Fine, fine, I’m okay,” Varian says quickly, “Are you-”

 “I’m good,” Hugo sighs, “By the Maker, that was a hell of a drop, are you sure…?”

 A sudden groan from the floor has both boys looking towards Eugene, the man still lying prone on the hardwood.

 “I’m okay too,” The man says, not looking up from where his face is pressed into the floorboards. “Thanks for asking.”

 Varian has the heart to look sheepish, though Hugo just glares. Eugene doesn’t seem to want to move, even when Varian slinks closer to offer an olive branch in the form of a hand to help him up.

 “C’mon, Eugene.” Varian says, “We’ll stop, if it’s really a big enough deal-”

 Hugo makes an offended noise. Varian shoots him a look. Eugene grumbles, shaking his head.

 “Why, of all the eligible bachelors, did you pick that one?” He says, less asking Varian and more bemoaning the universe as a whole. Varian bites his lip to keep from laughing, offering a pat of consolation to Eugene’s shoulder.

 “Because I like that one.” Varian wheedles, “Just like Rapunzel likes you.”

 Eugene pauses. He finally turns his head, making a noise that sounds like a drawn out, whiney, ehhhhhhhhhhhh noise. Varian’s shoulders hitch in a laugh, the alchemist biting his knuckle. “That’s a low blow, kid.” The man grumbles, glaring at the boy without much fire.

 “But?” Oh, Varian’s enjoying this.

 “But I guess I can leave you and glasses alone- if you promise to tone down the gross lovey stuff.”

 “That can be arranged-” Varian agrees, just as Hugo butts in with a “I promise nothing.”

 Varian sighs, but smiles as Eugene takes his hand. A look at Hugo has the blond grabbing Eugene’s other arm, the two alchemists helping the older man to his feet.

 “You’re both heathens.” Eugene grumbles, fixing his hair with the pout. “And I hate you.”

 “The feeling’s mutual.” Hugo mutters. “And your hair’s thinning.”

 “Hi guys!” Rapunzel’s head pokes around the corner, a bright smile taking over. All of their spines go ramrod straight, the three of them snapping to attention. “Stop your lollygagging, we can’t keep waiting around!”

 When she disappears around the corner, they all slump with a sigh. “Can we put a pin in this?” Varian asks, following the princess. “You two can hate each other after the kingdom’s safe.”

 When he disappears around the corner, the two men glare at each other once more.

 “Truce?” Eugene asks through grit teeth.

 “For now.” Hugo replies, tense as a bowstring.

 For now would have to do.

[jazzy-art-time]

"all you have”

Her tail twitched in annoyance, flicking back and forth rapidly, not matching her vacant expression in the slightest. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?” Jody’s voice was cold as ice, just begging for the Priest to repeat the vile he had just spewed. The Liepard’s crooked smile twitches at the edges, managing to make that devilish grin of his flash even more of his teeth. He turns around gracefully without returning her eye contact, gently pawing at his collar with the claw on his thumb. “I called you stupid my doll. Did perhaps the cotton around your hood clog those ears of yours?” Jody’s fist clenches inside her pocket, already ready to snap out and use fire punch right against this guys jaw. Her fingers begin to simmer and get hot just anticipating for him to turn around and face her one more time. It wasn’t so much the insult that got to her, but the nickname he had for her drove her practically insane. Hearing his voice spit out that nickname felt like nails dragging down her spine. She was already planning on killing this guy anyways, but that was originally business, but now it was a bit more personal. But his voice rang out inside her violent thoughts, taking her back a bit “Hitting me wont solve your problem Doll. Killing me wont either, but I bet you’ve already set your mind on that, just like other things”

The Liepard gently strolled over to the cliff’s edge, gracefully sitting down on the edge of the fence to turn and face her. The irritation wasn’t so much showing on her face, god her face was so stagnant wasn’t it? It deserved some sort of award, keeping a face that apathetic surely was a great feat. But unlike her face, her body language said otherwise. He chuckled a bit outloud at the sight of her tail tip flicking away. Her clenched fist grabbing the inside fabric of her jacket could even be seen. Oh she was furious alright, that wasn’t his intentions, but surely was a bonus on his end. He calmly places his hands up under his chin, much like a excited schoolgirl would, kicking his legs back and forth rapidly in a mocking manner. “Oh golly Miss Jolene. Do you REALLY think that once this is all over things will be normal? Oh gosh darn I think she does! Oh look girls she thinks it will get better oh darn what a shame!” the felines voice hissing out in a high pitched mocking tone towards the scrafty in front of him. Jody’s brow furrows and lip curls in slight disgust, she didn’t need to see that. Hearing his voice normally was horrible enough. But despite this, curiosity panged at her as to what he meant.

The lizard steps forward in a more calm manner, her previous anger slightly dimmed out by curiosity and mere confusion. Her brow raises slowly and imitates the liepard’s mocking tone. “Oh is that so? Well what makes you think otherwise?”

The liepard’s grin expands even further somehow, excitement at the fact that she was willing to listen. “Oh isn’t it obvious? You people and your revenge are all alike Jolene. You all think that once the deed is done, you’ll feel better! That is only a few cases although. It certainly isn’t in your case Doll.” The liepard’s tail swishes over his body, causing him to disappear, only to reappear right behind her like a cheshire cat. His paws grasp her shoulders and digs their claws in slightly to get a better grip, leaning in gently and whispering into her ear slowly. “You’ve dedicated your entire life to this haven’t you? It’s your only purpose, your only drive. It’s all you have” he disappears again as Jody attempts to swat him away from her, only to reappear back on the fence, lying on his back in a playful manner.

“You’ve been doing this- dare I say FIGHTING for this your entire life. From birth to now you have been striving, charging and plotting this. But have you had time to think of what else you would possibly do? Any other aspirations aside from this only? Sure small hobbies can satisfy short term, but we are thinking bigger here!” He stands on the fence proudly, throwing his arms in the air in a dramatic fashion. “We are talking about LIFE Jolene! LIFE! Not everyone needs a purpose to live of course, but you do. You don’t know anything else!” Jody squints in anger and stomps over to the fence, looking up at him in irritation. He didn’t know her, he didn’t know anything. Her voice became more curt and poison filled. “That’s not true at all. I can do other things. I already have plans for when I am finished I’ll have yo-” Her words were cut off by the felines tail smacking into her face abruptly, his tongue sticking out slightly with a irritated curled lip. “Yeah yeah. Once you are finished you are gonna ‘go out in a field! Have a drink and a biscuit and enjoy life!’ yes yes truly inspiring. But is that all you plan to do? Will that fill the void that this revenge has taken on you? Can you do that every day for the rest of your life? Face the music Doll, without this curse you are practically nothing. Not that it’s a bad thing to say, some people need that drive. It’s natural to aspire, to DREAM! But you don’t dream at all do you? Never have in fact..” Jody attempts to bite down on the tail slapped against her mouth, but he simply disappears once more within a blink of an eye. The scrafty whips her head around in fury, grinding her teeth and tail swishing back and forth.  “So okay, lets say in this... delusion of yours, you are perfectly fine! No more curse, no more having to fight or plot after doing it your entire life. That empty feeling inside magically doesn’t exist for you! You are happily living your life!” Jody turns around rapidly to find the source of his voice. A leaf falls on her nose, she bats it away and snaps her head upwards to find him.  Lazily perched on the tree branch, the liepard continues to speak. His eyes wistfully gazing at the clouds suddenly snap to make contact with hers. “Does that really excuse or change all that you have done? You truly are a cruel person aren’t you?”

Jody’s body stiffens at the words and attempts to avoid eye contact with him. Her voice spitting out of her gritted teeth. “I’m not... that bad.. What i’ve done is only beca-” she is once again interrupted, the liepard’s exploding laughter echoes throughout the cliff side. Jody’s eye flicker towards the upwards branches, no longer seeing any sight of the man. Her body hunches over slightly, almost in shame. She wasn’t that bad. She wasn’t... Suddenly she feels her body jerk towards the fence by the cliff, the liepard appearing at her side, dragging her to the edge. He grabs the back of her head and forces her to lean forward. “Let’s create a scenario shall we?” He forces her to face the town not far below. From the cliff side one could easily see down into the towns plaza below. Jody’s eyes focused on her party; Diane, Ulbrecht, Nana, Solo, Oxide and Rexmile are all placed under the plaza’s gazebo. Solo and Rexmile began to chase one another around the table, playing some sort of tag, or Rexmile had a weird bug that he was trying to place on his brother. Diane is happily eating and laughing at the scene with the brothers, Oxide smiling and laughing along with her. Ulbrecht and Nana appear to be attempting to have a conversation among the boys hectic activities, Ulbrecht even attempts to trip Solo at some point but fails. Jody smiles a bit internally at the sight but is cut short when the Liepard continues to speak. “Let’s see. You seem to be having a... active social life as of late correct?” his grin is crooked with raised brows “Not that I am judging... In fact I applaud you for not sticking to the ‘The Cursed must be a Virgin Pure’ bullshit. That gets so annoying after each incarnation. But anyways. Let’s say... That you were to get knocked up by one of those boys that fawn over you.”  Jody attempts to jerk away from his grip and growls in a low tone. “I can’t get pregnant from either of them. Solo is shiny so it’s rare and Ulbrecht is fixed-” once again the tail is slapped over her mouth, this time wrapping around her head tightly. “yeah yeah whatever Doll. This is a scenario, which could happen. Shiny pokemon, although rare, can still get others pregnant. Vasectomies can also reverse over time by accident in some cases. But allow me to finish” His ears flick back and forth in a metronome type fashion, claws slowly digging into the back of Jody’s head. “Lets say that you WERE to bear one of those.... fellows... abomination of a child, while on your quest. You raise this child, its yours. You come to love it and the child adores you. You are it’s mother and it’s all it has. But then one day... your little Book.... suddenly demands your next mission.... is the spirit of your dead child.” Jody’s pupils shrink and her blood chills and almost turns to ice, her attempts to get out of his grip suddenly come to a stop. “What would you do Jolene? Would you kill the kid? Your own flesh and blood, the child who trusts you. ADORES YOU. A kid you have come to LOVE. Would you kill it just for the sake of fueling your revenge further, to get closer to your goal? What would you do?”

The liepards grip on Jody loosens. Hand dropping from the back of her head and tail slowly unwinding from her body. He steps back slowly and gazes at her in silence, awaiting her answer. The scrafty’s body remains stiff, her position slowly relaxes from leaning over the fences edge, but her bones feel almost locked into place. Her gaze fixed down below, no longer looking at anything or anyone anymore, her pupils dart back and forth almost as if they were lost. Her apathetic expression slowly twitching into a hollow face, void of feeling. Claws gripping into the wood fence slowly, her voice barely escapes her own mouth. “That isn’t a fair scenario-” The Liepards voice cuts through her shaky answer instantly. “Answer my question Jolene.” Slowly slinking behind her, he slides his hands up her back and onto her shoulders, leaning in and whispering into her ear again. “Would you kill your own child just to get further towards the end of your quest?” Jody’s body remains motionless as his voice continues to hiss quietly. “Would you slit your own kids throat? Would you let them know beforehand? Would you drown them? Smother them with a pillow? Would you poison your own child? Would you-” Suddenly snapping, her body jerks and successfully gets out of his gentle grip and turns around, slamming her snout against his. “STOP. SAYING. THAT. KIND. OF. STUFF. RYAN.” Ryan’s smile returns and busts out laughing once more, her losing her temper was always a sight to see. Perhaps she would try to kill him right then and there! But her position remained fixed in a defensive stance, face twitching with pure rage. “Oh Jolene, look at you being so explosive and full of energy! As amusing as that is..... you still haven’t answered my question.” A flash of fear flickers through Jody’s eyes, she stands up straight and turns around to face the cliff side once more.  Ryan appears on the fence next to her, facing down to gaze at the plaza below. “Your silence is more truthful than you have ever been Jolene.” Jody flinches at his words, she wanted to scream. She wanted to hit him down to the ground, punching his face while screaming how wrong he was. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t let those words leave her mouth. The only thing managing to allow her gaze to unlock from the plaza below was Ryan’s voice slicing through her thoughts once more. “What if you had to kill Diane for the sake of your book Jolene. Would you do it.” She whips her head towards him, expression full of horror and disbelief at what he had just said. Her mouth opens slightly to speak, but nothing escapes, not even air.  Ryan’s gaze flickers from the lizard next to him to the mountains beyond the city. His tone less antagonizing now, but colder than ice. “But then again, you’ve already done that to someone you loved. Haven’t you.” Jodys gaze sinks to her own feet, unable to make a single sound. Arms beginning to tremble and back slowly arching over, making her hunch over in shame. “You’ve done it once Jolene. You’ll do it again and again. As much as you need to. That fact, is what makes you a horrible person. The fact that you are willing to kill anyone, anything, JUST to fuel this revenge quest of yours, THAT defines who you are as a person. That is who you are.” Ryan’s words stabbed into Jody, she felt like barbed wire was being pulled under her skin. She wanted him to stop. Stop saying that. “Does a person like that, really DESERVE a happy ending” stop it stop talking “Someone like you is beyond redemption. Doesn’t matter who you meet, how many people you make happy... You’re a horrible person Jolene. Always have been.. Even when you were a child.” stop iT... “Come to think of it, you’ve been like this forever. Even before the book. It simply gave you a excuse.” Jody whips around and grasps the liepards collar, tugging him down and slamming him to the ground. She was going to make him shut up. He was spewing such lies. Shut UP. “I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. THE BOOK DID THIS TO ME. FOR GOD’S SAKE I DON’T EVEN HAVE A SHADOW. I DON’T HAVE BLOOD ANYMORE, MY PULSE IS FAKE. MY EYES ARE LIFELESS AND I FEEL NOTHING. DON’T YOU DARE STAND THERE AND TELL ME THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. THE BOOK DID THIS TO ME. THAT FUCKING WITCH DID THIS TO ME. I COULD HAVE BEEN NORMAL AND NICE. BUT I HAVE TO DO WHAT I DO. I DO WHAT I NEED TO” her voice cracks and echoes throughout the cliff side, her voice weak and breathing heavy made her chest in pain. Her gritted teeth began to grind in her mouth as she stared down at the man. Please just stay quiet... please. Ryan snaps up suddenly, causing her to trip backwards and fall onto her back. The liepard crawls over the top of her, pinning her body town with his tail, his voice sharp as a knife. “But does that REALLY excuse all that you’ve done. Is that what your doing? Using it as a Get Out Of Jail Free Card huh? You are so idiotic girl! You are so convinced in your own head that you HAVE to do this, that if you don’t it’s wrong! YOU COULD HAVE DONE NOTHING. You could have done nothing and let the curse simply take you and then die! HELL! You could have even just been peaceful! Simply completing the books pages in a pacifist manner and not killing at all! You could have done this peacefully IT IS in fact possible! It’s been done before! BUT NO. YOU CHOSE THIS." Jody couldn’t fight back, she couldn’t move as her body stiffened once more. Helpless under the priest above her. “YOU chose to follow the book 100%! There are ways around it you know! You could have done the bare minimum and although it wouldn’t progress the quest for that witch further, you could have survived! You could have avoided hurting others! You could have avoided killing! HELL DID YOU EVEN READ THAT EXCERPT ON A “MOTHER’S SORROWFUL SPIRIT” OR DID YOU JUST GUILT TRIP HER INTO CHUGGING THE POISON WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT! OH WAIT WE ALL KNOW THE ANSWER DON’T WE JOLENE.” His voice was loud and ear shattering, there was no rage behind his words oddly enough. His crooked smile only grew as he shouted at the woman pinned below him. He knew she wasn’t going to fight back. Pathetic really. “I admire you Jolene, I really do. The past Book Holders were all such babies... They either gave in and killed themselves to avoid their fate, just to let the next family member deal with it. They were failures who died their first try, or simply just pacifists who did the bare minimum and still lived their lives peacefully an with family. No rage or ill will driving them forward. But you Jolene, you are different. You were BORN for this curse, you are the perfect one for it. Apathetic and strong. You are willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill it. Your rage drives you but doesn’t mess with you mentally! You don’t let it get to you, you simply accept it! Your heart is so hollow, its soft for that... “family”... of yours but in the end you would cash them all in instantly just to take another step forward! That’s what is so beautiful about you Jolene! You go forward, no steps back allowed! If there has been anyone close enough to actually completing this fucking quest its always been YOU! Your apathy, your drive for the revenge is what makes you who you are! ITS WHO YOU ARE JOLENE!”  The liepard releases her wrists from his grip and sits up, arms raised towards the sky, laughing in triumph. “The entire world is NOTHING to you! Nothing matters but what you WANT! You want-no dare I say NEED that revenge! You are a hollow shell of a person but god you wear it with such STYLE Jolene! That’s why I've always been tracking you, keeping interest and adding in some spice! You always manage to surprise me with how far you go! You never let it GET to you! Yeah sometimes you drink and get a bit sappy but HEY who doesn’t! Even so it’s not so much about this petty curse!” Jody stares at him in shock as he shouts at the sky, he was fucking insane.

“Jolene to you there are NO limits! Hell! Most of the time I find myself ROOTING for you! I want to see how far you will go, how high you will reach, how much you will slaughter and hurt! You have such craftsmanship and you don’t even realize! So many can only DREAM of being as cold as yourself Jolene, but that’s just who you are!” Ryan stands up with his arms still raised to the sky in praise as he snaps his head down to stare at her with that damned grin. “God HIMSELF would quake in your presence Jolene! For he hath not no idea what he himself has created!” His laughter fills the air as he covers his face with a smile, stepping off of her body and leaning against a tree with glee. Jody sits up slowly, what point was he trying to make again... How did this conversation end up like this... How did she let this... batshit crazy feline make her feel this way. Ryan’s gleeful laughter continues for a minute more before his smile slowly fades and he lets out a heavy sigh. “But Jolene... even the greatest have their faults... Yours just happens to be your delusion about all this. Oh Jolene you could be so much greater than this, but you have your plan and will stick to it. I can admire that. But if you honestly think... that things will get better... that things will be fine... You truly are a idiot.” placing his hands in his pockets he slowly turns back towards her with a cold expression. Tail swishing back and forth as he slowly begins to walk towards her. She struggles to stand back up and gets in a defensive position, unknowing of what he’s going to do next. “You are either going to die trying to complete this quest or complete it and then kill yourself afterwards. The void that will be left in your hollow chest will be too great. This curse is all you’ve had Jolene, its the one thing that has never left and never truly will leave you. Even if you defeat the great witch, the weight of what you have done will weigh on you just as the curse once did. Once you die, you aren’t going anywhere, Not heaven, not hell not even a ghost. You will be lost in the stars just like everyone before you. You will be forgotten. But that’s how it is Jolene. You don’t DESERVE a happy ending, curse or not.” The feline approaches her and lifts her chin up with a single finger, forcing her to make eye contact with him. “This curse... that book... Is all you have Jolene. It’s all you’ll ever have. It’s WHO you are Jolene. Once a diary is completed, no more pages can be properly added without over stuffing it. You live by the book, you’ll die by the book. You are nothing without it. Once you have completed it, you will complete. Then you can die, its the closest thing you will ever receive to rest.” Jody jerks her head away, staring at the dirt below her with a apathetic expression. Her body felt numb and lifeless, she hadn’t felt this way in years. Her silence causes Ryan to snort and flash a grin. “The sooner you accept that, the better Doll. It’s who you are, all you’ll ever be. It’s all you have anymore.” The liepard chuckles once more before walking away, grabbing his own tail and twirling it as he strolls down the pathway away from her. His peaceful whistling slowly fading away as he strolls off. The breeze gently blowing through the fur on her coat, the only sound heard being the rustling of the leaves. Jody stares at her feet, no thoughts going through her head for once. She had no response, no denial, no coming up with a different plan to prove him wrong. Nothing. absolutely nothing. No rage filled defiance... No sarcastic response to what he had said.... pure nothingness. She slowly falls to her knees as her chest slowly began to feel heavy. Her body begins to shake slowly and her breathing quickens, making the heavy feeling in her chest only worsen. A dull pain began to form in her head, her hands shakily began to reach towards her face, vision beginning to blur. The cliff side remained silent, only the sound of the breeze and the leaves rustling could be heard. Slowly hunching over and touching her head to the ground, curled up in shame and body shaking uncontrollably. Her breathing quickened and the heaviness in her chest grew into a severe pain as her wheezing breaths caused her abdomen to jerk with each quick breath and for the first time since she was a child she let the tears out silently. She was alone

as it should be.

[raendown]

The Cat’s Meow

My contribution for Week 4 of KakaSaku week used the theme “unusual perspective”. I’m not even sure what this one is, tbh. For some reason I had very little inspiration for this week’s prompts. :\

Anyway, have some weirdly fluffy KakaSaku under the cut because I’m not even sure if I’m going to post this on AO3. 

The Cat’s Meow

My name is Sir Fluffington Baronet Munchers the Fourth.

My humans have named me Haruto, which is good too, I suppose. It would be nice if they used my proper name but they are humans and unable to speak correctly. Their lips flutter like birds and their tongues wriggle about so much I am in awe that they do not bite themselves with their strange flat teeth.

Odd though they might be, I am very fond of my humans. The one with the pink hair likes it when I sit upon her lap and purr. She strokes my fur in such a pleasant, gentle manner and talks to me while she stirs her meals on the firebox they use to make their food warm. On the evenings when she falls asleep alone, she likes it when I curl up by her feet at the end of her tall nest.

This human is loud but loving and it was her who first brought me to the place we all call home. I make sure to bring her gifts as often as possible: small rodents that dare to invade the food room or the sleep room. She does not eat them but I do not worry about it. She appears to remain strong even without consuming the kills that I lay in benediction at her feet.

The tall one with the silver hair did not seem to like me at first. He smells of canines and did not seem to know what to do with me when the pink one brought me home. It took him many weeks to learn how to play, how to pet, or even how to cuddle. I think perhaps it’s because his canines did not teach him properly. There are eight of them and they are all as unrefined as one would expect of their kind. Luckily he is quick at learning and now he is the one who most likes to feed me treats. Sometimes he will try to speak to me in my own language but I don’t think he truly understands what he is saying because he uses the wrong meows. Still, I encourage it. He means well after all.

This one would make a good cat, I think. He sleeps a proper amount and stretches often. He even seems to enjoy having his head scratched as much as I do myself. Unluckily for him, I am softer and much more adorable.

Today is a special day in all of our lives. Today my humans have brought home their very own kitten. I helped as much as I was able to ease the pregnancy of the pink haired one. I purred more to keep her happy and stayed close to protect her in case of an attack. The silver haired one stayed close as well, I noticed, and I approve very much. I’m sure together we could have fought off anything.

And now, after many turns of the moon, a new kitten has arrived. A small litter and yet I think I am happier this way. I did not get to see the whelping. The pink one left our home for two days and as she walks in the door now she carries with her a baby human with downy tufts of hair a riotous mess of both pink and silver. As the recognized protector of our home, I of course am quick to greet them. The silver haired one stands quite close to his mate, his eyes turned up in a sign that I have come to understand means happiness. This is good.

It takes several meows and a few taps of my paw upon her ankle for the pink haired human to understand that I wish to greet the new little one. If there is to be a new member of my family then I will need to know their scent and make my judgments.

I am led to the soft squishy perch in the room with the talking box. There, both humans sit side by side and speak gently to the little one between them, their voices soft and low and full of warmth. This is promising. I leap on to the squishy perch and make my way over, nose twitching with interest, and there I see the small miracle which will fill the rest of my days.

The tiny human is just that – quite tiny! The scent is that of a female and her paws are so small they might have trouble encompassing my own. Most of her body is obscured by the blanket wrapped around her and so I focus only on her face. Wide blue eyes blink up as me as I pace closer with the utmost care, purring to make my intentions known. I am not here to harm, little one. You are beautiful. You are precious. You are home.

“Kakashi, look.” My pink haired human murmurs as I lay myself down beside the new baby. “I think Haruto likes her.”

As always, I cannot decipher the meaning of their strange bird-like speech. As I curl around my new charge, however, I am content. I increase my purring in the hopes that I will be allowed to stay right here for a while with all of my precious family together.

These are my humans, the ones who have given me a very good life. I will protect their kitten as though she were my very own – and indeed I may someday come to see her as such. For now I close my eyes and stay still. To protect, to purr, to watch over, to guide. These are the sacred duties of Sir Fluffington Baronet Munchers the Fourth. I will fulfill them with happiness and pride for as long as we all shall live.

[justanotherbandomdevotee]

A Cursed Half Life.

A Jalex One Shot.

T–C�

Era- Put Up Or Shut Up! All Time Low.

Pairing- Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat.

Word Count- 3887 Words.

Warnings-

·                   Pretention.

·                   Really Long.

·                   Horribly Written.

·                   A Few Swears.

·                   Nothing Too Triggering, I Hope.

Author’s Note-

This one shot was kind of inspired by good Times and Drugs and Candy. Feel free to leave criticism and to point out my mistakes. Enjoy.

-Sentient Potato. U

Do you ever have those days where you are unresponsive to everything? Like, you could be lying in bed with a famished tummy and a parched mouth or sitting on the couch with a full bladder, but you do not move because you just do not care, at all. Days when your brain is working with a skeleton crew and is doing the bare minimum to keep you alive while your heart feels worn out and grey and is pumping red viscous fluid into your veins cause it is its job and not because it some sort of a feat or marvel that one is supposed to be awed by. Hours where you realize that your existence is just as unremarkable as an emo pop punk band describes it to be. Moments where you can practically see the color palette of your life and its grey, blue, and downright depressing. Unsolicited hauls of long lost motivation plague you and the fervor and zest for life that possessed you less than 24 hours ago is now lost.

Have you ever felt that? That feeling of muddled mesh of memories that is your day. Seconds of gravity defying clarity blot your existence and at the end of the day, you feel frustrated and exhausted even though, all you’ve done is lain in bed and listened to songs sung by people in skinny jeans and eyeliner who are angry at the world and are rightly so.

That was my life.

The desperately passionless description was the definition of my existence. In a sea of faceless, nameless, vapidly moronic, and mildly inspiring humans, I was tragically uninspiring and apathetic and just as forgettable as the rest of them.  I imagined the sea to be a hoard of generically caricatured men and women with feature-less and round faces, square and triangle shaped bodies, fingerless limbs, no connective lines to fill in the gaps, and grey.

A sea of mundane and grey people out of whom, no one stuck out, and then it happened.

My purposeless, in my opinion, life suddenly found meaning.

In the sea of grey and banal entered a person who was all sorts of hues.

I met the guy of my dreams.

I didn’t even know that he was the guy of my dreams or that I had a guy of my dreams instead of a girl, but the moment I saw that messy hair with a blond strip running along the length of his right side’s hair strands and eyebrows that were bushy enough to rival my own, I knew that I was fucked, completely and thoroughly fucked.

He was the very embodiment of everything that I wanted to be, but wasn’t because I was too busy being a melancholic piece of shit. He had this smile that could make me forget about all of the crap that I had witnessed in the 18 years of my existence and the best part was that the physical appeal of the smile wasn’t even the best thing about his smile; it was the drum roll before it.

That blatantly clear moment of anticipation where everything hung in balance and just for those few fleeting seconds, the whole world stopped. Everything slowed down, the flow of time, the ripples caused by a stone thrown into a calm and still lake, the wrinkles in the air created by a butterfly’s wings when they beat, and my heart rate. It was mellow and dramatic at the same time, it was endearing. Because the drum roll led to something to beautiful to describe without sounding like a sappy, love sick puppy, I always paid more attention to the drum roll. The drum roll was more beatific anyway.

The smile was cherubic and enamoring, but the drum roll was mysteriously captivating, just like him.

He was mischievous and an open book. He wore his heart on his sleeve and his emotions were constantly on display, not because he expressed them explicitly, but because his eyes were too expressive. Whatever he said or thought, his eyes betrayed the naked truth, they always did. He suffered the consequences of wearing his heart on his sleeve. He suffered them on a daily basis, but he never learned. He never learned to hide his feelings and he never learned to recognize another’s feelings.

He had a blessing, he was too stunning to not fall for. He also had a curse, he was too dense to notice someone else’s affections for him, unless or until that person went all out and pulled off an extravagant and embarrassing event to declare their undying love for him. Otherwise, he remained blissfully unaware.

Maybe I should have done something like that, loud, explosive, obvious. Maybe he would have picked up on my hints sooner instead of almost throwing it all away, quite literally.

After debating with myself for over a month, I had finally decided to do something about my feelings for him. It was going to be my last subtle attempt, not because I was fed up of him not getting the point, but because I had done everything under the sun, moon, and the stars to get his attention.

So, on my way to the studio, I bought our favorite coffees from the small and one of a kind café and wrote a small paragraph on his white Styrofoam cup. I dented his cup in the process and as a result it looked a little unaesthetic, but the message was heartfelt.

During the drive to the studio, I could feel a storm of doubt and general anxiety tearing my sanity away. The steaming cups were precariously dancing, unaware of their empty and crushed fates as my grip tightened around the wearing out leather of my steering wheel.

When my car came to a jerking stop in a parking space, the clouds over Baltimore looked like they were ready to burst open any second.

I got out of my car, after the shrieking door sent every cat in a 5 mile radius into an early reincarnation, and started walking towards the golden, revolving glass doors of a small dilapidated building that stood crumbling in the corner of the parking lot.

Small stones dotted my path and what-ifs plagued my mind as I walked against the wind current. The wind was howling in my ears and nipping at my skin, causing it to become red and sensitive. I picked up my pace and quickly walked into the warm confines of the studio.

The ugly carpet covered floors were not a sight to behold and I quickly started climbing the bare and chipped stairs, taking two at a time, because I did not want to get stuck in an elevator again.

 I came to a halt in front of the recording room that we had booked out for the day and was about to open it when my brain decided to go into overdrive and started producing vibrantly colored scenarios with surround sound, all of which detailed the very plausible rejection of my feelings in an exaggerated manner, but since I was already pretty scared, I was accepting these over the top scenarios as my very near future.

“Where is Alex?” I heard our manager, Flyzik, grumble in a disdainful voice. I decided to actually open the door and enter the room instead of standing out there with a thudding heart and gradually exhausting itself mind.

I sheepishly pushed the creaking door open and all eyes, including the lone bird’s eyes that was perched on the ledge outside the only window in the room, shot up to look at the cause of creaking.

I gave a flustered smile and a tiny wave from where half of my body was hanging inside the room. Flyzik rolled his eyes and I prepared myself for a lecture of a lifetime when Jack spoke up. “Oh! there you are, I am so sorry I asked you to pick up my coffee.” I looked at him in a confused manner while flyzik decided to visually murder the lanky teenager who was sitting on a revolving chair near the soundboard.

“You mean to tell me,” Flyzik started in an incensed tone before some sort of realization happened in his head and he stopped. “Whatever, just get your skinny ass in hear and lay down your vocals.”

“Yes, Sir.” I spoke and gave him a two fingered salute with my right unoccupied hand. Flyzik rolled his eyes again as I opened the cracked door wide enough to accommodate my frame through it.

I walked towards Jack and handed him his coffee. Jack for a second looked startled, but then a smile of pure joy stretched across his thin lips. God that damned smile was going to be the death of me.

I didn’t want to give him the coffee in a room full of techies, producers, and our other band members, but it was now or never.

I walked into the yellow bulbs lit recording booth with a single and silver microphone in its centre and started recording my vocals.

The soundproof glass only allowed me to see Jack and not hear him and for the next 2 hours, my voice became more and more strained and my heart became more and more weary. My distracted mind was making it very difficult for me to record and it wasn’t just my imagination.

Rian and Zack were trying to calm a flaming flyzik down and the techs looked tired from having to hear the same part over and over again.

After our manager made me want to crawl into a hole and die, I finally plucked the courage to ask Jack about the message. Weather he had read it or not, weather Jack reciprocated my feelings or not.

Jack had left in the middle of my 30th mess up and hadn’t returned yet. I excused myself from the stuffy room and walked away to find the Lebanese.

With ringing ears, I had walked out of the recycle air conditioned studio and into the cold weather of Baltimore, Maryland, when I saw a sight that was brutally gruesome and inspiringly gentle at the same time. I saw him leaning against an ugly and yellow car while kissing a girl who was way too short for him.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and my heart stopping for a few seconds. My brain went into shock and for the first time since my decision to do the coffee cup trick, it was silent, completely and utterly silent.

I turned around and speed walked into the studio, leaving the heart breaking sight behind me.

I was in the blue carpet covered lobby when my knees gave out, my lungs stopped working and my brain resuscitated itself.  I felt my chest cave in as a sudden influx of screaming thoughts and motions of denial flooded my mind.

 I toppled over under the pressure of it all and kneed on the carpet that was covered in questionable stains. My heart was thudding against my rib cage and throat.

‘Why was this hurting now? He has had plenty of girlfriends in the past, why does it feel so horrific now? Why is it affecting me so badly now? Why do I want to claw my skin out now?’ My thoughts voiced themselves in my head in a high pitched and concerned tone as hot tears leaked down my face. It was getting more and more difficult to breathe through the fat tears.

‘It’s because this time it means something and you know it.’ a calm voice spoke, cutting its way through the frenzy of my panicked thoughts.

The words caused me to freeze and my tears to abstain from falling. They remained in the confines of the eyes as I dejectedly glared at a stain while allowing the words to sink in.

I acknowledged the fact that the voice was right and tried to accept that it was true, agonizing, but true.

A part of me was fighting ferociously, though, telling me that all of those nights under the soft glow of the stars where we talked about our dreams while making up names for constellations, those sleep overs where we watched Home Alone over  and over again while quoting it and throwing popcorn at each other, those consoling words that we spoke to each other in the dead of the night because another girl had decided to toy with one of  our hearts and break it, all of that wasn’t just friendship. Those secret looks, the knowing grins, that intimacy, it didn’t exist between people who were just friends. My brain, however, was drawing a blank every time it tried to play any one of those memories because the big screen of my mind was continuously playing that heart shattering scene.

As each screening ended, only to restart, I swear I felt my heart stop and drop into my stomach. Like, the grief and shock from watching it over and over again had somehow caused my muscular heart to turn into stone, become unhinged, and fall into the hydrochloric acid that lined my stomach.

I stayed there on my hands and knees for the longest period of time and when I finally got up, I felt weak and dizzy.

I was going up stairs to let my team know that I was going to call it a day when a Malibu Barbie-esque girl came running down the stairs.

Her blonde hair was flying furiously behind her and her big, blue eyes had mascara stained tears. Her curved upwards red nose was standing out against her porcelain like skin and she sniffed loudly while pushing me out of the way.

The tiny girl with an hourglass body was pretty powerful and I was caught off guard. The combination caused my back to slam painfully into the hard and popcorn like surfaced opal wall that encased the stairs.

She didn’t even stop to apologize or offer an explanation and kept jogging down the stairs before disappearing behind the doors.

Once, I couldn’t see her even after straining, I decided to go back to doing what I was doing.

The air was thick with the scent of a cheap knock off of an expensive perfume. It was a feminine smell. I rolled my eyes out of irritation as the smell started burning my nasal cavity and continued walking. The berry and flower induced chemical lingered all around me and followed me till the dark brown door of the recording room that we had rented out for the day.

Matt was going to be so incensed, but something about the tiny girl was familiar and that was preventing me from caring about hearing another one of Matt’s self-loathe inducing scolds.

As I popped the brown door open, I saw, to my surprise and relief, that it was completely empty, sans him.

The lanky bastard with my heart was standing against the studio’s sound board. His back was facing me and he was looking at something with a fond smile. I knew that it was a fond one because I could see its reflection in the glass that encased the recording booth. He was making heart eyes at the said object and my blood was boiling. Before my brain could set off into another frenzy of high pitch toned questions however, he looked up and I felt all the thoughts filtering out of my head. I also, in the same breath, realized that the heavily perfumed girl was the girl whom Jack was kissing. Suddenly, my heart started fluttering with hope. It was fanciful, but it was a strong surge of hope. So I held on to it.

The black tinted glass showed a blurred rendition of his perfection and even though his eyes weren’t directly staring at me, I could feel my heart rate picking up. He did that, he made me feel the most basic forms of emotions, happiness, sadness, jealousy and anger, to their full extent and power without even trying. I sometimes wondered what he’d manage to do to me if he started trying.

 It was annoying how he never noticed the slight stutter, the light slurring of my words, and throb of my reverberating heart beat against my throat. It was infuriating. How could he be so fucking clueless?!

When he noticed my unflattering reflection in the glass of the booth, his wide smile became wider and his lips parted to show his pretty teeth. I could tell that under the bright light of the yellow bulbs, his smile was glittering like the traveling and calm waves of an ever stretching sea under the marvelous glow of the sun.  

He turned around slowly, the object of his affections coming into focus.

When I saw the crushed Styrofoam cup in his royal blue sweater pawed hand, my breath left my body. Suddenly, I was very aware of everything in the room, the dust heavy air, the pulsing ghost reverbs of Rian’s drums, the lingering feeling of Zach’s steady and deep bass lines cutting through the air like a sharp knife, the ass shaped dents in the red leather couches, the soft cushioning of the black carpet underneath my converse’ soles. Everything was uber clear and I wasn’t enjoying it, at all.

My brain was misinterpreting the meaning behind his grin. ‘But his eyes’ the same voice from the back of my head spoke. ‘NO! NO! NO! HE ISN’T SMILING BECAUSE HE RECIPROCATES ALEX’S FEELINGS, HE IS SMILING BECAUSE HE IS TOO SWEET TO LAUGH. HE IS EMBARRASED! ITS EVIDENT FROM THE WAY HE IS SCRATCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS FREE HAND!! THAT IS IT! TIME TO MOVE TO LIMA, PERU, TO START A NEW LIFE FROM SCRATCH.’ My pessimistic thoughts screamed over the voice of reason. I was standing in front of the love of my life and was having a mental war that was preventing me from opening my mouth and doing the logical thing of explaining myself to him.

“Took you long enough to confess.”

“I can explain, it was supposed to be a joke, haha, April Fools.” I wanted to slap myself. I wanted my cringe-y past version to slap myself, my future version to slap myself, I wanted my dead goldfish to slap me. The utter absurdity of the asinine words had me drowning in a pool of my own sweat and shame.

“So, in the middle of June, you decided to pull off an April Fool’s prank?” Jack asked in a mocking tone, his eyes were gleaming with mischief and his smile was a dead giveaway of the fact that he did not believe me.

“It’s a horrible thing to do, you know.”

“I can explain-“

“Playing with someone’s feelings like that.”

“I need you to lis-“

“Here I thought that you were truly in love with me.”

“I, just will you-“

“But its all a joke.”

“Jack, I-“

“Oh the utter despair of heartache is real and cruel.”

“Oh, for the love of,” I never added an entity because I was furiously crossing the 5 steps long space between us and crushing my thin lips against his pink ones.

It was a passionate kiss, we were both kissing desperately. In the still aired room of the studio, I could feel our hearts thudding as one. Our eyes were closed and our mouths were going at it with a renewed sense of urgency.

He tasted like spearmint and coffee and the molecules around my nose weren’t densely doused with the cheap scent, but were light perfumed with the intoxicating smell of guitar polish, some male oriented deodorant, and his sweat.

My right hand was holding the back of his think neck and my left was lying precariously against his thigh. His arms were loosely, but securely, wrapped around my thin waist. I made me feel safe.  

We pulled away as the oxygen between us finally ran out, leaving us breathless and wanting more. My stomach was exploding, a kaleidoscope of butterflies and explosive fireworks were exploding in my stomach. My heart was pumping blood into my body with a reinvigorated sense of purpose. I could feel goose bumps on my skin and looking into his almond shaped eyes with blown pupils, I could tell that he was feeling it too.

A state of affectionate lethargy fell over us as he sat down in the worn out revolving chair and pulled me into his lap. I was more than a little reluctant because let’s face it, Jack was too skinny to not collapse under my weight.

“You won’t hurt me.” Jack reassured and pulled me into his lap. I could feel his bones digging into my butt cheeks, but I stayed quiet.

“What did you mean by “It took you long enough to confess.”?” I asked in a soft tone, something about the situation demanded a soft tone.

“Well, I kinda, sorta, maybe, had a very vague idea about your feelings for me.” I felt Jack’s lips brushing against my collar bone as he replied in an equally hushed tone.

“And you never said anything?!” I asked in an incredulous manner, my eyes bulging in horror as I moved away to look at him. The scenery changed from his silky, shinny hair to his sheepishly grinning face before he explained to me that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship.

“I went through years of unsolicited torture of the romantic kind just because you didn’t want to ruin our friendship? I have half a mind to not ask you out now.”

“Hey, had it not been for my hawk like eyes, your little love letter would have never seen the light of day. I had thrown it away.”

“And that fixes this how exactly?”

“I… you could have been a little more obvious, Alex!”

“Says the most oblivious piece of shit in the universe!”

“Yeah, well you love this oblivious piece of shit!” Jack retaliated and we fell silent. It was a crushing silence, I was itching to say something to wipe that smug smile of his lips.

“Cat caught your tongue?” Jack cooed.

I rolled my eyes and leaned in to kiss him again and again and again and I never allowed him to slip away.

He gave me purpose and made my banal and bland life more tolerable. He made me more inclined to the idea of living than the idea of existing. I promised to love him for an eternity and I did, with every fiber of my being and every inch of my height, I loved Jack Bassam Barakat and he loved me back.

It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and there were days, months where the two of us fought like an old married couple, we bickered back and forth and pressed buttons that we immediately regretted, but in the end, we always crawled back to each other because a, no one else wanted us, b, the band suffered, and c, we were too madly in love.

Calling him mine and being called his by him, it was pure elation and allowed me to live a whole and fulfilling life, instead of the half and cursed life that I was initially sentenced to.